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floralkittygambler · 11 months

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Coming and Going - Some More Vivzie Shit

Before you start, this is an extremely LONG read covering this account, my views of Viv, my content and my relationships within this Godforsaken fandom. This is my most up to date thoughts in 2023 on everything. This is something I feel necessary for me to do.

Contents (in no particular order):

Current Situation

Relationships in the fandom

Why I started this Blog

Thoughts on Viv/co and how they've changed since m previous posts

the fans

future thoughts and moving on

accountability

If any of this interests you, read ahead. Titles will be provided for easier following.

Why I started this blog

Originally this was a blog like any other; art, reblogs n shit. As I grew more into a Viv fan, I started posting fanart and follow blogs on her work. The more I learned the more I hated, and thus I began to become a critic. I was pissed off at viv wasting her potential, and eventually I became just as toxic and shitty as both her hardcore haters and majority of her fans. Some takes were good, some bad, either way I got too involved, too absorbed and let it consume me. Stupidly getting into conflicts, stuff like that. And I became a hardcore hater. I vocalised it. My initial aims long lost. Then I disappeared.

Vivzie, co, all that

I went from adoration to disgust of this lot. Now though, whilst I deeply dislike Viv and her crew, deeply dislike majority of the fans, I just feel... Gross. Hollow. Exhausted. I have a lot to say on Viv and my previous takes but truthfully I am too lazy and too tired and ultimately have better shit to do than go through every little thing right *now*. But I do want to at least cover a few here to do some justice, I guess.

So to skim through a few. Lets go.

Viv tracing. Honestly, tracing is a useful skill but it's bad when you trace another's work, don't credit and claim it as your own. This includes modified tracing (starting with a trace then stylising over it to make it more your style). Having nazi, nonce, etc characters I think people take extreme. These sorts make excellent "love to hate them" villains. Owning such characters isn't a crime. It's how theyre portrayed and the purpose. The nuance - something to constantly keep in mind. Her romanticism sausage party art is yikes. With her age, maturity, humour, I believe she saw this as some kind of fucked up humour, having enough awareness to understand the taboo to hide this stuff yet I do feel this was a stupid kid doing stupid edgy shit. Does that make it right? No. But I definitely dont think Viv is some nonce or nazi supporter. Later finding out how this profile was discovered makes me equally question morality on all sides. Vivs beastiality nonce artwork with the snake tub, Ive seen private dms to solidify that viv admitted to both owning this piece and that it was supposed to be a joke. Once again, I genuinely dont think shes a nonce BUT she needs to realise that if that character was below 18, she has drawn child prawn (censorship whooo) as well as distributed it via sharing online. That's still something really serious and gross. I get her humour is immature and dark, but theres lines you dont cross. And I dont find that art funny in any ways, it genuinely looks like a perverts wank bank rather than funny. Idk if the lad was one of them shapeshifting animals either but being in a human form in this instance does make the portrayal a beastiality one, due to human presenting. That's not cool. As much as I loathe those who would abuse kids or animals, I dont think this is Viv necessarily. Though I believe in this sense, Viv needs to understand and work with her cats more. She's done a lot of wrong shit but false accusations derail from solid proven issues that need addressing. At the least, Im glad the animal pervs and nonce stuff is gone. Heartbreaking that shit is so often heard of. This is the sort of thing Id laugh at as a kid but now Im grown and look after little ones, it fills me with nothing but sickening horror. Whilst vile vile vile, I havent seen anything concrete to prove or imply Viv supporting/participating in such depravity. And I fucking pray it stays that way.

You have apologised in the past. But the way you did so, the way you spoke about it afterwards and the way you are now proves it was insincere. Something to shut 'haters' up.

Viv, with all your shit, neurodiversity and late maturity, you're still yet to change for the better. The people you hang with are some of the most vile, toxic, narcissistic and shitty people. Yes men. You hire fans who'll do anything to please you, which can open the path to abuse (note: CAN, not a definitive, though in this case...). You equally are still a shitty person still. You're coming apart at the seams. Critique and hate aren't the same, and unfortunately you'll need adaptability and tough skin in this world as people can be very cruel. You lie. You twist like a constrictor. Charm the more susceptible. A very well known kissarse of yours on twitter who was quite the bully was followed by yourself, liked tweets then hired. They arent the only one either. Whilst you cannot be responsible for every single fans every single action, their are responsibilities you hold. Dont like tweets that encourage hate, dont reward negative behaviours, check your own public actions and how they may influence (act like a prick and those who admire you will mimic). Behind the scenes, treat people right. Dont play favourites. Always have integrity. Learn to incorporate critiques as well as filter out legitimate hate. I know it's not easy, but it's necessary to survive.

Viv, I can wholeheartedly empathise with receiving harsh hate early on in life and online. I know how that can taint and stunt the mind. But the thing is, you have to eventually break from that. BE responsible. Grow. Ive been toxic before. That's partially why I fixate on some of this. Equally Im angry. You ARE a VERY talented artist with potential. A shitty writer, do work on that (as well as diverse stories to tell - gain those experiences or listen to those who've been there - esp as you're doing this as a living) but when you're passionate about a piece, you're talented. And when you're not, you do what we all do and dole shite out (btw people thought I was bullying Viv when I said her P5 Alastor piece was bad in comparison to her other works. The proportions were awful, you could tell she just wanted it out the way. A startling lack of soul.) From what I've seen, you crave approval and admiration to compensate from the past cruelty. I can empathise. But that shit isnt healthy. And you block yourself from growth. You cultivate a tainted crop. You poison yourself. You sacrifice integrity and the gruelling work of improvement for the instant gratification of worship from fans by bending to their desires and your own at the cost of quality. What couldve been groundbreaking storytelling and visuals is nothing more than a glorified low-level fanfic. Wasted potential. Something I cant stand. I have been harsh as that same method helped me. In doing so, I disregarded your own humanity. I wish I conducted myself better and though I never encouraged abuse, I'm sorry that my words may have contributed to this shit cycle.

Your staff and many of your fans have... Concerning attributes, such as the fetishing of toxic relationships, blurred boundaries, disregard of boundaries, etc. The stark numbers of such unpleasant people flocking you is extremely worrying.

I do deeply dislike you. I do feel you have ultimately caused your own shit - been there - but I do pity you as well. I wish you'd go the effort to be you. To be less try hard. To allow growth and change, diversity, stop petting hatred. Get a better crowd, esp one willing to actually help you to be better by pointing shit out. To stop mass abusing others. I do dislike you greatly. I wish you would do better but all you've been doing is doubling down on shit. I feel Icarus needs to fly closer to the Sun for change to happen. It feels like the only way you may actually ground yourself and smell the roses. I just wish folk could be better as a whole. Sick of shit like this. Whilst no one is perfect, there's still standards to uphold. Growth to be had. Breach stereotypes and fetishes that dehumanise, work on yourself and your relationships with others. Careful on your humour and learn how to execute humour properly. Glad you're not doing beastiality art though. You cant please everyone and shouldnt have to in order to be admired and popular. Just be better. Also hating kids isnt a personality. I get not everyone cares about them but dont take shit too far. They can be gross and annoying but in the end they're just... Children. Theyre learning and growing. You can only hope they bloom into decent people. Admittedly a kid tripping is pretty funny but there's a limit. If you want to portray a creep, don't do anything that endorses their behaviours. Theyre vile, remember. No kid deserves that. Work on financing too. Medicating via shopping is a dangerous road. Dont bend to social pressures (such as getting wasted because friends do if you dont want to). Vet your staff. Better ethics.

Fandom

And the fans are just... A minority are lovely. I had a HuskerDust fan be respectful of our differences and hope the best for them. But the majority I've encountered or witnessed have been off their fucking heads. Often encouraged by Viv or staff. The staff and fans are now claiming that critics are homophobic racists falsely (which implies certain races, sexualities, identities, etc are absolved of criticism - which is both favouritism and it's own form of bigotry. Hell, it's spitting on the real victims of such crimes over mediocre cartoons and digital lunacy). These same people then insult people for... being cis and straight. Firstly, that's also bigotry and a dick move on identity and invalidation, it's also false in some cases (proving folks just spew shit), it demands special treatment for identities when we're all equal and deserve to be treated with equity, it's also just... Weak. Bigots can fuck off BUT many critiques have been about inconsistency in plots, writing and design issues, etc. Nothing pertaining identity.

Fans have been hypocritical like their idol. We're all hypocritical to an extent. But the madness... Ok, Blitzo uses retard (note: neurodivergant and have right to say that word, even then it also means delay "fire retardant" as well as where I live it's not nearly as bad as another term used yet is still fine in the US.) I think this isn't an issue as it can show things or speech patterns of the character. Then fans have falsely accused critics of ableism who either havent used the word, quoting this or even have right to say it yet coddle this fictional character. This was referenced in a recent episode with Blitzo about to call another character (rumours are this nurse is autistic but I do NOT have full confirmation. Pinch of salt!) retard before retracting it as it being unacceptable to say. Blitzo really wouldnt give a shit. Likewise I feel this is one of those permanant grey areas in fiction; is it? Isnt it? in terms of using terms. Of Mice and Men used slurs against black folk, that was to reflect that time and the character's mentalities. Not an author's mirror. Likewise, it wasn't used as humour either. Coming from ONE ND, I couldn't care. I feel this is hyperfocused on over more glaring issues, as well as a benefit of the doubt (being character mindset and possibly not author projection). Feel free to have your own opinions, and I only speak for myself there. I can empathise with those who may feel more sensitive to the word (which is why Im more careful in it's use) but as someone who is also technically affected, I just... Personally dont feel too bothered. Likewise, I'm learning to hold more human compassion and flexibility to error and human flaws rather than perfect standards (again, this wont justify or absolve. And more serious things like an assault doesnt apply. It's daft this needs clarifying, it should be the bare minimal). Not everyone will agree on everything, but there's just some lines that should be a standard. I think the staff and fans overall conduct themselves immaturely, cruelly, and cause harm.

I regret in engaging in some arguments. Not worth it. I think I shouldve been more compassionate to difference yet equally not been so volatile with harassment. HunterGirl's HD discord hate on me is... Something I shouldn't have fed. Hate me, that's fine. But the fact someone so close to Viv allowed the harassment is disappointing and shitty. Bitch behind the scenes but dont go out at people. Likewise behind the scenes talk, dont threaten folk either *Viv* (at one of your ex-staff). Call someone the biggest wanker you know but there are limits you dont cross. As with Viv and co, I once hoped for improvement but I just lack faith in that now and I'd just rather stay away from it all. Too much toxicity I've allowed myself to bathe in and hatred and venom only burns. Only burns more of the same product. It's not worth it. Don't even have the skills or assets to do any good from this either. If I can't help, itd be best to support those who can help whilst staying away from the vitriol. Stick to the facts and my own integrity. It's tiring to be involved in all... this. Again, I can only speak on myself hence why I'm only saying me shit. Any vents can be done to friends but otherwise none of this has resulted in any good. And I contributed to cruelty as well. It aint right.

Friendships

Bit more personal and past. Ive made many nice friends. Friends Im still friends with now, and I thank them. With certain issues arising, theyve been the anchors to ground and account me. Real friends. Friends that deserve to be shown more how appreciated they really are. Thank you. They have guided me into better awareness and accountability. We have our own little group now for art, gaming and hopefully any other group activities. Friend stuff. We'll rant, we'll vent, but we're actually doing friend shit now. Ive hyperfixated enough on negatives. Dragged others into an abyss with me. Its not fair for them.

There is a friend here, I think they dont see my stuff anymore idk. I was warned about them. Through all Ive seen and my experiences, I wish you to get help. Get off tumblr. Get off twitter. Both can be extremely toxic as well as cultivate toxicity. Be accountable. Get help. And focus on you. I still worry for you, though I am disgusted on some of your actions. Treat the living with respect. Learn that people will try to bait you. Let go of paranoia (not easy), confront your past and grow. And please... Dont lie. Dont lie about events that occur as you're creating your own misery. Learn to step back and not be so forceful and preachy. Been there, it's not a good place. Experience a diverse crowd on a human level. And please spend some time away from the internet. People really can be pricks sometimes. Even ourselves. You're also pretty hair trigger and tempered. A bit like me sometimes LOL. Learn to balance that. Trust me.

To mates on here who Ive only spoken to here, if you'd still like to be mates, I can link you our group if you're up for group art and gaming or activities, or to another social media account to chat.

To unanswered asks, I'll try but not promise to address them. Those which ended up deleted, I can only remember the one question sorry. And the answer is Sitri. Sitri would be a good HB replacement for Stolas, he's quite the love/lust expert and a focus on men. Fun chap! I had more for this answer but again, cant be arsed with this shit anymore. Sorry.

I joined a spindle critique group. What I learned is the union from bitterness isnt solid grounds for friendship. I wont go into details as it's a private and resolved matter. I shared the full log to current friends to have a neutral and raw take. These are friends I can trust will yank my chain if Im in the wrong. And they did. They spoke of the wrongs on both sides. These are folks who are guiding me to better. Folks I have trusted with the full log, full transparency. I appreciate you both and take your words into stride daily. To old friends, I would rather friends make their own choices. I never hated you, but was hurt on this other side of you. Likewise Im sorry to make you feel that way. Im sorry to have trauma dumped (recently discovered this term, and using it to manage myself better.) There was only one individual that I was given uneasy vibes on and made that clear from the start. I tried with them. For awhile, I even started to see them as a genuine friend. In the end, we were too clashing. We didn't mesh well. My initial feeling on the situation ultimately felt true. But when I open up about home issues and emotions, I dont want them weaponised. Especially as Ive been doing some irl work to find many holes in my perspective as well as others hard work in being involved with me. Things are different now. Never felt it needed in convo, I was too fixed on my own hurt. Home was self preservation at those times. I regret opening up over some personal issues. None of this absolves me of poorly handling situations and anger issues. Near the end, I felt more wary to be more open on certain things. But I shouldve been a better friend. I never liked how catty things got. Trolled. We all just became knobs in one way or another.

My ask to remove my triggers was me hoping to do good for you. Remove a trigger that would inevitably end up being a large part of the group sooner or later, maybe this summer. Especially as I 'lacked empathy'. I thought I was doing good. I never lied about it, and feel bitter that was twisted. If I explained something, I was wrong. Kept it brief, I was bitchy. I was willing to endure a trigger if it made things easier in the group, and the situation was more than a stupid ship. Ive had triggers Ive adapted to handle better now. And public, you are not entitled to my medical history however we're in an age where youre both valid and entitled to privacy yet must breach privacy to have a voice. I have an ED. A certain word wasn't even allowed in my presence without panic and flashbacks. I was a little girl then. And I managed to slowly ease the trigger word via gradual exposure - a replacement word, spelling the word, and eventually hearing the word. It - and what it has done to me - will always scar me. But I learned to handle it better in my own time. I dont need lecturing on how triggers work. Especially when each case is unique, each 'cure' is personalised. If you want to believe Im full of shit then... Do that. Im sorry for being a shitty friend at times and Im working on that, but outside opinions (note: these are done in private spaces so all parties are anon) have noted flaw on your end too. We all fucked up. The two things below the belt were the trigger claims (hence my example of my own experiences with another trigger) and my private issues shared in confidant are the two things I remain disgusted by. That doesnt justify my frustrations, dumping or behaviour. And my example is not a pity ploy either. We're separate now, and it's best that way.

Overall, being here, in this community and fandom, has done nothing but shit. Fuelled the worst in me and others (from what ive seen in public fandom spaces). I may do art and other creative endevours on spindle, but otherwise good riddance. Even if the purge is painful.

Another friend. Im in their group too. One to improve some creative skills. Appreciate being let in there, though I'll probably mainly lurk for tips. Thank you for allowing me to do so. Wording is honestly growing harder for me each day. It's helping me start the path of better expression.

Current and future

I word shit less. Not here, as this is long overdue. But trying to sum up more efficiently. Spending more time irl to improve myself and my life. Welcoming friends who we both can hold each other accountable and support. Focusing more on stuff to improve as well as enjoy. The world is so dismal. So I spend time doing other stuff. Im already mopey enough. Sorting things to refine and focus on enjoyments. Gaining skills to help others. Experienced some personal griefs/losses. And Im learning that people arent entitled to everything. Not quite there yet but Im learning. Im often in deep pain, so cant always do what I want to get done in a day.

Most likely, I will discontinue this. Besides others have been doing a brilliant job. Dont absorb yourself. You can control much of what you get exposed to, so what you can control, make it good! Have integrity, work on yourselves. Try not to be a dickhead but acknowledge where you are a dickhead and work on that. Balance is key to a healthy mind, take the good with the not so good. Take the time to simply sit outside and observe. Appreciate life. Similarities and differences. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. But have your standards. Learn. Grow.

Im in a lot of pain and have shit to do. Take care. I feel Viv, co, fans will only learn with drastics, haters need to learn empathy (haters as in stalker level folk), old friends Im sorry to hurt and equally feel hurt by. Best we've gone separate ways and moving on. Current friends I appreciate. That one person, please... PLEASE get help. Youre young, man- This shit is going to poison your very core. Make you into something shitty and cruel. And please treat animals with care. Me, still a twat but trying. Embrace truth, compassion and fairness with a firm angle. Or just avoid nasty shit.

Well, cya. Stay well. We're not going to be here forever.

#hazbin critical #helluva boss critical #criticial #end #moving on

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rainbowsprinkledpirate · 2 years

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Soldier Of My Past

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Male!Reader

Summary: Years go by, and nothing changes. You remain trapped under the remnants of HYDRA. Forced to do unthinkable things. And clean up after one particular Super Soldier. Which makes you wonder about him often. You had heard them call him the Winter Soldier. But you're not sure the name fits.

Chapter IV: Empty Blue Eyes

gif from thatscarletflycatcher, got it from google now it's here

Please, please don't.

I don't want to. I'm sorry.

I can't stop.

Whatever they put in my bloodstream turned me into a merciless monster.

It's like I'm trapped behind a glass wall. Watching everything happen yet being unable to stop my finger from pulling the trigger or swinging the blade.

Somebody... help.

I don't want to kill these people.

They haven't done anything wrong.

"Good job, soldier. Another problem was taken care of. But you're too slow, once again." Doctor Rot's voice never failed to solidify that glass wall.

"Maybe we'll use you for something else?" He leans forward. I could feel their blood staining my hands as he tapped the side of my head.

We'll make good use of you yet, little soldier.

- December, XX 1991 -

It took a while, but that glass wall is gone now. It has been for some time. Though that doesn't mean what I did has left my mind. All those people I killed.

The children.

Their screams keep me awake at night. Yet another thing added to a long list that reminds me why I can't give up.

Not yet.

After a while, they made me some other soldiers clean up guy. It became my job to make sure not a single piece of evidence was left that could be traced back to HYDRA.

Oddly enough, I was good at it.

Especially when I did well picking up after the Winter Soldier as he was called. But it's like I know every move he'll make. So, it's easy to clean up what he leaves behind.

This particular scene, however, was messier than the others.

I glance over the scuff marks that show where a body was dragged. They would hint that this wasn't a typical car accident. Alongside the tire tracks from the Winter Soldier's bike. And his footprints.

Every little thing would point out that these poor souls didn't die a normal death.

Which honestly would have been a mercy. If the muffled scream being abruptly cut off was anything to go by.

After a few seconds, the fire hissing from the smashed front end of the car became the only sound permeating the still air of the surrounding forest.

That and the slow, steady steps of the soldier.

He doesn't even spare me a glance as he moves back to his bike.

It was at times like this. Standing in the soldier's aftermath, I wanted to stop him. Just to ask why he went along with HYDRA's plans. Wasn't he strong enough to fight back?

But the glint of his metallic arm always warned me off.

That and the fact that he would kill any who got in the way of finishing his mission.

"Oh, James. What am I gonna do with this guy? The Winter Soldier, what kinda name is that anyway? Clearly, they don't know how to come up with good names."

Lately, I've found myself speaking aloud. When no one else but me and the Winter Soldier were around.

It helped to think James was somewhere listening to me. It soothed the screams I constantly heard.

And it wasn't like the soldier was going to tell anyone. From what I knew, he didn't speak.

At all.

Huffing, I notice the soldier pause. Every bone in my body locks in place when he slightly turns his head my way.

Shit, this is new.

Why the hell is he looking at me?

Is he going to kill me?

Doctor Borisyuk, who took over for Doctor Rot, wouldn't be too happy if he did.

But surely, he knew I was also part of HYDRA.

I did trail after him for nearly every mission he went on. Keeping an eye on him. And making sure his missions were a success.

Well, most of them.

There had been a point where things got messy when I tried to escape after learning Herr Schmit had been killed. They ended up locking me up and torturing me for a few days. But it wasn't anything new and I learned Doctor Zola lied about the explosive device planted in my head.

I examine the side of the soldier's face. Meeting the single empty blue eye that peered at me from over his shoulder for a split second. Before he focused back on the dirt road and took off.

The roar of his motorcycle cut through the stifling silence before fading away. Leaving nothing but the crackling fire in its place.

Weird.

But now wasn't the time for me to be worried about such. I have to clean up the scene and get out of here.

I sigh before making my way closer to the car. Inside were the bodies of Howard and Maria Stark. I never knew the man personally, but I remember seeing him and his first invention flop. It was a fond memory I held close.

Wordlessly I lean forward to rest my hand on Howard's shoulder.

"Find peace in the afterlife, friend." I glance at the woman next to him. A dull ache spread through my chest as I pull away from Howard.

If only I had died with James that day. Like these two who died together.

Shaking my head, I hiss, "Enough."

There's no point agonizing over the past. Focus on the here and now. Until HYDRA is completely wiped out, I can't stop.

Yet everywhere I look, there seems to be something to remind me of the past.

I glance at Howard again.

Focus. Damn it.

Not much information was passed around about these missions. Yet I made sure to keep myself updated as much as I could about the years they woke me up in. It let me clean up the scenes a bit better.

Scanning the surrounding area, I note the camera high up in one of the trees close to the scene. Or what remained of it.

When had he shot that?

Scoffing again, I make my way over to the tree. This was going to take a while. I knew I'd hear about it later.

- XX Hours Later -

"You're finally back," Doctor Borisyuk eyes me from his perch. "You have leaves in your hair."

It takes everything in me not to lunge forward.

This guy took after Doctor Rot a lot. From the unnerving grin to his unsympathetic eyes. Oddly enough, I didn't mind his presence as much as Doctor Rot.

Maybe it was because he let others do his dirty work? And I never saw him when they woke me up or put me to sleep.

The room around me stilled when fingers fluttered up to my hair. It was odd to have someone touch my hair so lightly after all this time. Especially when there was no ill intent behind it.

For a moment, all I could see were empty blue eyes before Doctor Borisyuk pulled back.

A single golden-brown leaf was held up between us.

"You should be more careful."

Or maybe it was for moments like this that I didn't mind him as much as Doctor Rot. With him being offhandedly kind.

That didn't stop me from wanting him and all the other HYDRA people dead.

"It would be a shame to lose someone like you. I rely on you a lot, you know?" He moved to hop back up on the desk. The taupe-colored wood contrasted starkly with his black uniform making him stand out more so than he already did.

"Go get some rest. You've earned it." He crossed one leg over the other. The stiff black boots he wore creaked with the movement.

"But do be back by oh four hundred hours, will you? There's no rest for the wicked, I'm afraid."

I bobbed my head towards him. Then make my way back into the long, desolate halls of HYDRA's headquarters. Empty blue eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life. Just like the cries of those people.

Next Chapter -> Here

Here <- Previous Chapter

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

#bucky barnes x male reader #the winter solider x male reader #bucky x male reader #the winter solider x reader #x male reader #male reader #x reader #the avengers #marvel mcu #hydra #criticism welcome

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waglifeornolife · 6 months

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Did your stepmom ever said smth that you spend so much time with your dad ?? Like I love how close you are with him and how knit your relationship is it’s so nice to hear 🥹 but I know you told us your stepmom is not that nice to you 🥺🫶🏻

yeah she doesn’t like it. she kicks off whenever my dad and i go to anfield because she doesn’t get an invite, this woman hates football… this time is usually reserved for me and my dad, it’s something we both love, you know? even when i ask her and she says no, she still kicks off.

my dad and i were so close before she got here and then she came and he started to distance himself, we’re still close and i talk to him about everything but since ive got older, he’s been here for my physically, and not much mentally if that makes sense.

she has a lot of control over his life, he’s definitely got abandonment issues and she plays on that, she’s constantly telling him she’s gonna pack a bag and leave every time they argue just so he can apologise even though half the time he’s done nothing wrong. he loves her but sometimes i think he only fell in love with her because she was there for him when he was most vulnerable.

every time i see or hear them tell eachother they love one another, at that specific moment i don’t think i could hate (i use that loosely because i could never hate my dad) anyone more, and it’s annoying because their relationship has affected mine and how i react to little things. luckily matteo is so understanding and just lets me get things off my chest before he gives his input when he feels like it’s something we’ll fight over, but i feel like the relationships we have are mostly a reflection of the ones we’ve seen, matteo is doing more good than i ever thought anyone could do for me, poor guy carries so many of my burdens and visaversa because growing up my dad has always made a point of getting emotion out no matter who it’s to even though it’s something he can’t do. my dad is a walking blessing even if his wife’s a bitch 🫶🏼

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forestryfae · 7 months

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literally everything has to be some kind of a deal and everything i do HAS to have a comment or criticism attached to it and i HAVE to be commented on constantly. i cant even fucking do my laundry 20:22 cus "isnt it a bit late" NO. THE DOOR SAYS 22:30 IS WHEN YOU CLOSE. why the FUCK cant i just be allowed to do ONE load of laundry at 8 in the evening without criticism and they cant even unlock the fucking door in the morning cus they just dont give a shit. i couldnt have done it earlier cus i was pissed at the staff because of that fucking "you cant have juice flavouring in your water at dinner" NEVR BEEN A RULE + there were SEVERAL people drinking soda at dinner onf riday and ive seen people drink energy drinks at dinner so what the FUCK is the problem. they even put out the flavouring on the dinne rtable yesterday and ive never heard that fucking rule BUT WHEN I DO SOMETHING its a problem and im the only one at fault apparently. meanwhile they cant even unlock the fucking door to the laundryroom so we can wash our fucking clothes without having to ASK THEM to open the door. WHAT. i have wednesday and friday off SPECIFICALLY so i can do laundry and ive been woken up with "good morning are you going to do laundry today it looks like you need to do it" and going downstairs and the door is fucking LOCKED. and then they changed the closingtime from 9pm to 22:30 and told NOONE, so every fucking rule is a guessing game of "am i allowed to do this or am i actually the worst person in the world because i shouldve just known this" and now i cant do laundry so ill have clean clothes for work tomorrow because apparently its "too late" and also fuck me i guess. everything i do is wrong. nothing can be a simple question or request that gets done, everything has to be a big deal

also fuck that girl i went to the store w last saturday, shes very nice and not a bad person but jesus christ it gets kind of grating to have to listen to her constantly comment on everything. they need to do this, they need to do that, this isnt how SHE would have done it and this isnt what SHES used to, why did you just this or that. well for starters i didnt just buy the candy i wanted from a different store cus we were AT ANOTHER STORE. was i supposed to just NOT buy candy? was i supposed to read her fucking mind and just know its slightly cheaper at this other store??? was i supposed to pour the candy out and run to the other store. not to mention we DID go to the other store and they had literally nothing. it was like two things i liked, the other had like 8 of them. not that id know either cus im not a psychic, and neither is she cus she commented on how little they had. i was lucky to even make it INTO the other store too cus the cunt sitting in front of me in the six seater wouldnt fucking move. its one of those minivans that have doors on both sides that go to both the back and the back-est seats but you have to clap the seats together and move them forward to get through. and she had the fucking audacity to go "you guys will have to go out through the other door if you want to go out" THERE WERE TWO GUYS WHO WERENT GONNA GO OUT OF THE CAR. FUCKING MOVE YOU BITCH. the others had already left the car and went inside the other store without me, wtf. and then she had the fucking audacity to ask if i could get through between the door and seat while she was sitting there when i was trying to get back in. OHHHH MY GOD how self centered can you get. "i do NOT wanna sit in the backseat" i dont give a shit. people have to sit in the back sometimes youre not special. unless you get physically ill you have no excuse. and since the roof had windows and those sunscreens they ofc removed them so the three of us in teh back got the sun in our eyes the whole fucking ride up and down. oh my god. can people just not think.

like im trying to keep my cool and not get mad at people cus it feels fucking ba dto get so annoyed and angry over relatively minor things but sometimes i just wanna bite peoples faces off. holy shit. can people just not think. i know were all inpatient and i know not everyones perfect but jesus christ. for just one second i wish people had the capability of selfreflection. i am constantly day ina nd day out monitoring myself so i dont fuck up and i try my best to not be rude or shitty to other people meanwhile its uncomfortable going into the livingroom because we have one guy whos allowed to sit in there and just fucking sulk and be cranky instead of staying in his fucking room until hes able to be around people without biting peoples heads off or sitting there scowling at people when theyre not even fucking talking to him we have that one girl who has zero respect for other peoples time and will gladly ask us to wait half an hour to start watching a movie cus she wants to join but needs to eat first then spends the whole half hour just sitting there talking to people then starting to actually make heer food WHEN WERE ALL GOING DOWNSTAIRS TO WATCH THE MOVIE, then making us wait another half hour so she can eat before changing her mind and the theres that fucking cunt who keeps fucking. i very clearly said to the staff that no, i hadnt been informed about the 9 am takeoff time for a three day trip, i hadnt heard any information about anything even though i asked for info. takeoff time was written literally two days before and i hadnt seen it because i was in my room the whole time feeling like shit. staff insists theyve informed everyone, i point out i havent been informed about anything, the guy just fucking interjects with "they wrote it on the board you shouldve checked" and somehow thats MY fault for not knowing. BUT TEH MILLISECOND some other motherfucker whos been here every day doesnt notice the plans that were made the weekends before and written WITH TIMESTAMPS on monday, the millisecond he didnt know about that on saturday thats a HUGE problem. poor guy didnt get to come along to something he was informed about several days earlier and thats a fucking problem but it was perfectly okay when i wasnt informed

#talkies

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kath-artic · 2 years

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venting about some stuff

kind of annoyed with my roommate right now and i dont like it. we usually get along super well and shes one of my closest friends but shes seeing this guy that i actively dislike and shes only with him because he fucking worships her and it is actively making her a worse person. like she’s very STEM brained and has a superiority complex about it but its been mostly okay up until now we’re she’s lost her ability to appreciate anything that is not purely logical. like we watched Nope and she didnt like it because she didnt think the alien was developed enough since they never explained the fucking biological process by which it cloaks itself and shit and she was so hung up on it that she picked up on zero of the actual themes. and she was talking to us like we were all stupid and its fucking frustrating because i KNOW i can do science. i KNOW i can do math. i CHOSE not to because storytelling is what i think is most important. dont talk to me like im a fucking idiot, there’s more than one way to be intelligent and you are severely limiting yourself by cutting yourself off entirely from the realm of metaphor. not just that but you live with 3 people who are all in the arts to some extent and you say that we’re your best friends but you refuse to see the value in what we do and its just so fucking disrespectful. like ill admit theres times my friends have made art that i just dont think is very good or that conflicts with my personal philosophy on art but like. i recognize that most of the upsetness i feel stems from the fact that i hold myself to too strict of a standard and never send my art out because its not perfect whereas they are actually going places and doing things with it regardless of whether i like their art or not. i also try not to make them feel small, i might offer some critiques or ideas on what i think they could do instead but its up to them if they want to take that advice or not. and the thing is shes usually not like this when this guy’s not around and it makes me really sad. like sometimes she can be very combative and get hung up on semantics, but shes like that exponentially more when he’s around. he also contributes fucking nothing to a conversation. like he comes over and stands around and is like “wow you guys are SO crazy” when we’re just talking. i had two friends over yesterday and my one roommate specifically told me that she likes my friends because they actually contributed something to our little sitcom that we live in and started jumping into the dynamic and making jokes with us instead of saying pointless shit like “haha you guys are so quirky omg ive never met anyone else like you.” i can hear him out there right now praising every little thing she does as the most interesting, funniest thing anyone has ever done and the way i would get SO frustrated with someone like that. no, give me criticism. say something fucking real. like my ex would constantly give me constructive criticism and he had the craziest ego of anyone ive ever known and there was one time he said “i’m always correct but youre the only person i know who’s more correct than me” and THATS an ego boost i’ll accept. not “everything you do is soooo funny and perfect and you cant do anything wrong ever.” i was in the car with them and she was talking about something she was struggling with and he just kept saying shit like “everything you do is so great, you have nothing to worry about” and it just feels so hollow and does nothing to actually help her with what she’s struggling with. its like if i went up to someone and asked them what i should do and they said “im sure whatever you do will be amazing <3″ like ok. cool. and on top of that as much as he drives me up a wall and turns her into a person that i dont like being around im just worried that all of this praise comes at a price because she hasnt been setting boundaries and i can see him pushing them and i feel like hes going to set an expectation and either try to force her to meet it or emotionally manipulate her for not meeting it and shes not the kind of person to be affected by anything emotional but i think the idea that she has hurt a close friend might get to her. i dont know

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mummybearmusing · 2 years

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Feb 17

WHAT’S OCCURRED OVER THE LAST FIVE YEARS..SNEAKY SNEAKY

Here’s how this all began:

* Back in 2013 I had doubts about how our relationship was going, I discussed many things with my friends on whatsapp..I still have those messages..the ones saying I was scared he was going to leave and take our baby, and that I felt inadequate and a spare part because he had five months off work and spent every day with our boy at his mums while I worked six days instead of the three I originally was going to, because he had lost his job, and that my parenting was constantly undermined, even provided my friends with examples how because I was being told I was over-reacting.

And this is when he convinced me that the only thing that was wrong with our relationship was me, and there was no undermining of my parenting, I was just being over-sensitive because we were different people which meant we had different ideas of how we should parent, neither of which were wrong.

* I went on anti-depressants in 2014 following an incident where our neighbours flat had caught on fire and the smoke came under our door making me feel terrified for my family, especially for my baby,

I was referred to victims support,

I went all the way to the MP begging to move him or move us because I was terrified that it could happen again.

Prior to this I hadn’t been on ANY medication since 2011 when I got my job at a call centre, but sadly 3 and a half years later our office closed and we were all made redundant, which needless to say sent me downhill again, because I applied for 284 jobs and didn’t get one of them. I eventually got a part time job but meant a massive drop in wages

His mum is a fully qualified childminder, so when we we were both working full time she had him the weekdays, and my mum had him the weekends, looking back, again at the old whatsapp messages his mum was undermining me just as much as he was, for just as long.

They both now live with her, and she couldn’t be more thrilled about it and she’s made it known at school too because she was SO smug when she said see you later, AT HOME!!

The thing that he told me I was wrong about by the way, the truth that made me doubt any conversations.. I thought we were so happy we’d talked about having another baby, I told her this in utter shell shock..she told me he never wanted another and he hadn’t loved me for two years, and when i KNEW i was right..is when I found a letter he wrote by hand stating we’re thinking of trying for another baby, hopefully/happily give our child a little brother/sister soon.. and it also states in this letter I have no concerns about how my child is being looked after when I’m not there.. ie when he was working and our child was with me on my days off.. which contradicts all the concerns about my neglect of our child, which he also reported to our child’s nursery..his mum went in there first!

* So she comes round Jan a few years back and tells me her son isn’t coming home, he’s packed a bag and he’s going to go there, and they’re picking my son up from preschool and taking him there, told me about all these concerns they had over my mental health and told me about all these absent minded non issue mistakes id made, when accumulated made me seem like a total flake of a mother, made me feel i didn’t deserve to be one, i knew my mental health wasn’t brilliant but I’d been off all my med’s for a while (my own fault/choice- while i underwent some medical tests to rule out a variety of things following a stay in A and E and a day hooked up to an IV drip)

She told me our relationship (7 years and 2 days of it) was over, dead, done with, and he hadn’t loved me for two years he’d stayed out of fear of what would happen as I was so absent minded he was afraid every day for our son’s safety, she told me nobodies saying I’m a bad mum, I’m a really good one just need a little extra help, then fast forward six weeks later she’s telling me she hates me she’ll never forgive me and that social services were involved with her family and it was all my fault because I’m an incapable mother (because as I mentioned in the post above both her and my ex had been going in to my sons then preschool and giving their “concerns” it led to them calling social me being investigated for neglect..they closed no further action needless to say, they fully understood nothing I did was intentional, and I had simply made a few errors because I wasn’t well,

later that day our families (me ex and our mums and dads) made a temporary informal verbal agreement between us that until my med’s kicked back in and docs confirmed my mental health was stable again that our son would stay there, i could see him as much as i wanted, but with someone else around to ‘intervene if necessary’ and once I was “back on my feet” we would co-parent 50/50 no drama, no court, just us adults..just mum and dad

.. she didn’t intervene when necessary..she interfered at every opportunity, regularly calling me 'girl’ and 'stupid’ regularly saying 'can you do nothing right’

* It was also agreed until I had a psych eval done and the results back if i wanted to see/have my son away from her house then i could BUT another family member needed to be around, we were all fine with this to ensure he was fully safeguarded, so it was agreed my mum or my sister would stay on my sofa so he could be at home..

His mum had been pushing my ex to remove me from his life, there were computer printouts on the table i see from the separated dads website, applying for custody, the court procedure..he left my flat because his and his mums attempts to get on my tenancy behind my back in a previous year had failed.

Now as mentioned above, the verbal informal agreement was once i handed over medical proof of my improvement we were going to draw up a written agreement for 50/50 co-parenting and have shared residency, no courts needed, i offered that we’d go for mediation so they all had peace of mind, no no not necessary, we’re both adults, we’re mum and dad..we can do this on our own.

Re the investigation for neglect: this social worker saw me ONE time, and maybe five phone calls..I regularly asked him to confirm everything in writing. My requests were NEVER actioned prior to him leaving

We should have been sent a copy of his report as part of a court direction..we weren’t. So I did a Subject Access request to gain it..it was nearly blank due to third party redactions..things he/she/the preschool told them.

* I handed over my medical evidence to social services plus a diary I’d kept and various other things to show I had been suffering from DV.

And the emails I forwarded them with all of it were ignored,

I handed the psych eval over to him, and he was so angry with what it said..because it contradicted all that had been said, and because it inferred my mh had been exacerbated because of his abuse..he was so mad that he demanded the phone number, I said they couldn’t tell him anything, nor was anything discussed that wasn’t included in the assessment that was conducted by the Community Mental Health Recovery Service.

I begged him to stay and talk, like adults, and to sort this out because we were mum and dad, he stormed off telling me had calls to make

Following THIS reaction I had a chat with the Police and the social worker and they both agreed my ex had broken our agreement and as it was never official then i had every right to go knock on her door and ask for my son back..

which I did towards the end of Feb years back.. the door was slammed and locked in my face, with my little boy stood right next to her

(witnessed by my sister who was at the door with me, my cousin who had got out her car to have a cigarette and my stepmum who had followed my sister in her own car..but the court papers clearly stated that my son was on the sofa and even though he clearly would have heard me he made no attempt to move..this was my exes response..my ex wasn’t even there..and my ex never even wrote the responses, his sister did..who also wasn’t there.. he never signed the statement of truth either so how that wasn’t thrown out i have NO idea)

* I called the police and despite being led to believe earlier that day that if she refused to hand him over having no PR and me holding it that she would be in trouble and that they would make her or at least file a report they instead told me that because the door was shut there was no breach of the peace, that dad had given consent for her to look after him while he was working, and like it or not..so had I by agreeing to let him stay there to begin with, they told me they would NOT be coming out, I could cry all I wanted down the phone but their answer was not going to change, this was a civil matter and I would need to take it to court.

So I did.

#MummaBearMusings

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time-is-honey · 2 years

Text

Letter (to and) From Ajax

just letters between the two of u when he goes away, nothin much. apologies for the inconsistency in posting, ive still got some lingering covid symptoms ;;!

warnings sorta: angst if you squint, childe's real name used, reader lives in liyue, job is vague but baizhu and qiqi are mentioned, not proofread

Your letter -

To my lover Ajax,

Work has been frustrating with nothing to look forward to coming home to. Dr. Baizhu has been away all week attending to matters in Sumeru, so Qiqi has been left under my care during the day. She’s a good kid, of course, just a bit tiring having to repeat myself constantly. You'll have to visit the two of us more often when you return, I can't explain how special it feels when she remembers my name.

How is your family? You seemed antsy to see them while you were getting ready to leave, so I hope your visit has been meeting your expectations. Say hello to Teucer for me, by the way, I've missed him since he visited all those months ago.

I've been hanging around the Northland Bank as of late to fill in your presence in a way. I can't exactly comment on the effectiveness, though. On the bright side, Ekaterina and I have been conversing beyond small talk. She really is a sweet woman.

I miss you more and more each day. I've been telling myself that these 2 months will pass quickly, but it doesn't seem to work. The house is quiet, as much as I used to complain, I miss your antics making this place seem brighter. Now and then I find myself wishing I soaked in our last few nights together just a bit more. Nights are difficult, I've grown used to your touch soothing me to sleep. The space in our bed leaves me restless some nights.

I hope your trip is going well, I'll be here to greet you with open arms once you return.

With everlasting love,

[Name]

Childe’s letter -

My dearest [Name],

My visit home has been nothing short of eventful, that is for certain!

Teucer has been well, he has been attached at the hip with me since I returned. He always asks about how you’re doing and when I plan to ask for your hand in marriage. I wish I could say ‘soon’ and have it be true. Seeing my family again only makes my mind wander to what children of my own would be like. You’re not opposed to the idea, no?

Work has been tiring for me as well. The Tsaritsa always seems to have some new task for me to give my attention to. I try to get as much done as I can in a day so I can return home to my angel as soon as possible. Please don’t hold your breath, though. No matter how much I do in one day, I always seem to be just as busy the next. There is so much to do. I hope to bring you here without having my duties as a Harbinger looming over me.

I've found myself connecting every little thing around me to you in some way or another. Even if it is completely ridiculous, the smallest things make me think of you. It is difficult to keep myself from associating aspects of Snezhnaya to my lover when you are my home in my heart. Curse you for making me feel such sappy things.

I'd be lying if I said I did not miss you just as much as you say you do me. Perhaps I miss you just a bit more, but I don't mean to make it a competition. Don't get me wrong, I love my family more than anything, but my heart aches being away from you for this long. My bed feels empty as well. I never used to hug my pillows as a child, but Tonia poked fun at me this morning for doing so in my sleep. You've brought out a new weakness in me, I can never forgive you.

I'll tell you what, join me in looking at the stars every night from now on. Find your favourite, the one that shines brightest in your eyes, I will do the same. Tell that star you love them, and really mean it. Maybe that love will reach me all the way over here.

I greatly look forward to returning home to you as soon as I am able. I'm ashamed to admit that I may begin to slack on my duties if I yearn for you any more.

Forever yours,

Ajax

tags:

#childe #childe x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin #ajax x reader #tartaglia #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia genshin impact #childe genshin impact

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grapesodatozier · 3 years

Text

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.

#reddie #notsfw #reddie smut #reddie fic

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aliensunflower-fics · 3 years

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How to Exploit Kindness [A New Kind of Lila Salt Prompt]

[ Ive seen Lila and Class salt that goes a lot of different ways. In some Lilas a sad lonely girl who will do anything for friends and the class fall for her lies through a mixture of manipulation and Lila’s genuine sad lonely but real persona. In others Lila is insane and the class get basically sucked into her cult. And in others still, Lila slowly breaks the class down by preying on there insecurities, hidden jealousies ect. There are the versions where Lila just bribes the class with connections and the versions where Lila frames Marinette until no one believes her. But I wanted to write a new idea for people to use, one that I feel is a bit more realistic. One where Marinette’s classmates are more their more authentic kind selves but still get slowly pulled into Lila’s web and where Lila is just a bit more intelligent. ]

[ As usual with all my prompts feel free to borrow the idea to write for your own thing salt, sugar, cuteness angst ect just be sure to credit me for the idea so I can read it. ]

Lila was furious! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! She was supposed to be everyone's friend! She was supposed to finally get a cute perfect boyfriend who would cherish her like she deserved! She was supposed to be HAPPY! But no, the pathetic beetle Ladybug and that goody two shoes Marinette kept ruining everything!

No… No that wasn’t quite true. As much as she wanted to blame her problems on those two it wasn’t entirely their faults. Honestly Lila wasn’t quite sure what had happened. Her lies had been working at first, they had gotten her praise and compliments and adoration and friendship! But now? Now they were all ignoring her, unimpressed by her celeb lies! She could not understand it! At first she’d been sure it was Marinette or Ladybug maybe even Adrien had turned on her! But when she’d probed for information she’d learned that none of them had blown the whistle. So what was it! Tomorrow… Tomorrow she will find out one way or another. She needed to get them back under her thumb somehow.

It was Chloe who gave Lila her answers. Chloe was the reason none of her classmates cared about her stories! Chloe was the idiot mayor's brat. And what a brat she was constantly wiggling her way into her mothers fashion shoots or had celebrities over at the hotel. Of course Lila’s classmates didn’t care about Lila’s celebrity connections because Chloe was always name dropping just as many people as herself. The only difference was Lila used fake modesty and shyness that made her ‘friends’ view her lies in less of a gloating light than Chloe’s haughty claims of celebrity meetings.

It was a damn shame, celebrity lies were her bread and butter, they were exciting got people to think you were important and they were hard to prove or disprove allowing Lila to easily get around the messy little detail of ‘proof’ if someone asked for pictures all she could say was that her mom didn't let her take any because she didn't want her precious daughter being targeted by crazy fans. And if someone asked her to use her celebrity connections? Well she could just turn on the water works and cry about them just being her friend for her connections. Thus her prey would be forced to be her ‘friend’ , always listening to her and doing things for her, unable to ask for anything in return. Then when her mother announced their next move Lila would tearfully say goodbye and leave all her suckers behind. But without the sway of her celebrity lies her system broke down. That was the problem with picking the school full of rich talented idiots she supposed.

Well with Chloe ruining her system she’d need a new one. Scrolling through her classmates' social media for a clue she sneered at their overly cheerful and cutesy posts. Always encouraging one another and posting encouraging puff pieces about this or that. Always acting like they were so nice. As Lila scrolled over a charity fundraiser event that Alya had retweeted from Milene a sudden thought crossed her mind. Her classmates were very ‘nice’ and annoyingly so. They were always butting into each other's business, always being SO concerned, always organizing events to help each other and appreciate each other and going to charity events.

In fact now that she thought about it the stories that had intrigued her ‘friends’ always had some sort of charity garbage attached. Saving Jagged’s kitten or raising money for some cause or other that always got her heaps of praise. Sure saying Clara whatshername stole her dance moves got attention but not in the same way saying she raised money for some green project. Was it really that simple? Sure her classmates all loved Marinette for her extreme generosity and kindness but was it REALLY that simple? She needed to check.

It was actually that easy. One simple little lie about how she pulled a blind old man out of danger when he was nearly run over and suddenly the class was bathing her in praise. And the ‘fact’ that the whole very real thing made her miss first period and sprain her ankle? Well that was just the cherry on top. Suddenly Max was offering her a copy of his notes and everyone was back to caring for her like she was a princess. The fact that Marinette looked like she was seething only for sweet naive Adrien to keep her mouth shut was just so perfect. She’d found her golden ticket. Her classmates were truly ‘good kind people’ and nothing could be exploited quite like kindness.

With this knowledge Lila would easily be able to destroy Marinette, sure she wouldn’t be able to do it quickly but slowly she would replace her, with every good deed she made up with every act of false modesty she would build a reputation greater than Marinette’s she would replace her and become there new ‘everyday ladybug’ and the best part was she wouldn’t have to say ANYTHING against Marinette. Not. A. Thing. No sweet righteous Marinette would eventually snap, sadly for her it would probably be too late with how much control Adrien had over her, so when it happened Marinette would look like the jealous crazy girl going after the girl that was kinder, sweeter, and better than herself. As for Adrien… Well she had a hard time believing it at first but he really was an idiot with a pretty face as long as she was careful as she built her new reputation he would genuinely believe that she was changing for the better and then he'd fall for her.

The best part was, her classmates were genuine. As she built her new good girl heart of gold persona they would genuinely come to love her, all the loyalty Marinette got to enjoy all the perks of being friends with such talented, kind, sweet people would become hers. Slowly no matter how Marinette struggled she would lose, eventually she’d have nothing left. Of course she’d need to be careful with her lies but that was easy. Bring the class to a charity here and there and tell them that she was the one who gave the idea for the charity to the actual organizer but didn't want any credit because she was just that kind and humble. If they tried to make her do actual work then she’d have a sudden accident that would require she sit down.

And then once she’d done more photoshoots with Adrien for Gabriel she’d ‘convince’ the man that a charity would make him look good and boost sales. She’d MAKE her lies true all while winning over her future father in law, and heck maybe she’d even pocket a little of the money, she could use a better wardrobe and the extra would be perfect to buy her ‘friends’ the occasional ice cream or presents. In between that she’d just lie about saving people or volunteering on weekends. Maybe even let it ‘slip’ how she was a temp hero for Ladybug . One of the sweetest parts was that between volunteering with Lila, there own activities and hanging out with Lila so she could ‘thank them for their hard work’ no one would be spending a second hanging out with sweet pink little Marinette, they'd abandon her without even realizing it because they’d be SO busy. Sadly this plan of hers would take a little more work then her others, but it would be worth it to become the queen bee of the class- NO the school! And when Marinette eventually slipped up and looked like the biggest jealous bully in the school. Well she’d have no choice but to leave the school with her tail in between her legs.

Victory was looking sweet and satisfying.

[ And where it goes from here is up to you. Lila can win, she can slowly convince the class and school that she's a model citizen and an everyday hero. She can sneakily maneuver the class to not spend time with Marinette slowly separating the girl from her friends. In this way Alya and the rest of them don't become evil salty versions of themselves who overnight hate Marinette and love Lila, but rather they are good naive people who got slowly separated and tricked by someone who wants to use their genuine talents and skills to make herself look better. Adrien who is already shown to be naive and wants to believe the best in people, can fall into Lila’s trap and become genuinely convinced that his high road method really worked and ‘reformed’ Lila into a better person. OR Lila can fail, she can claim to be the wrong temporary hero for ladybug, or she can pick the wrong charity to lie about, or get exposed any number of ways and the class can realize with horror that because they are kind but flawed people who are perhaps too trusting and gullible that they got pulled away from Marinette through subtle manipulation and so they can be redeemed because instead of turning into outright bullies they stayed the same kind people they always were but just got genuinely tricked which is something that can actually happen in real life. You can go heavy salt where Marinette does eventually leave the school or class heartbroken that her kind friends have fallen prey to a bad person Marinette cant find a way to expose. Or you can go clever salt where Marinette figures out Lila’s plan and fights her from the inside slowly exposing the cracks in her facade. Or you can go sugar and redemption where maybe just maybe Lila actually LIKES being nice to people and having real friends who dont care about her fake celeb connections, maybe she honestly redeems herself and even makes amends with Marinette. You can do genuinely anything with this idea and I hope to see this generate some new less *and suddenly everyone is evil* content for those that like salt and angst. ]

#my writing #ml salt #lila salt #lila salt prompt #now technically there isnt any actual class salt or adrien salt in here because its more of a prompt but to be safe il tag it anyway #adrien salt #class salt #ml salt prompt

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machine-gun-casie · 3 years

Text

tavern music

synopsis: corpse hears tavern music coming from your room (gn!reader)

warnings: rpf, reader gets cheated on, kind of unrequited feelings, mostly hurt/comfort and physical affection tho (what im trying to say is that this is mostly self indulgent)

wc: 1.7k

a/n: havent written in a while but i found this in my arsenal, fixed it up a bit and viola. original plans for this was definitely something longer that would end with them being together but im not up for writing rn. been feeling really shitty lately and ive been needing something like this in my life. hope u guys like it ♡

He couldn’t hear it at first. His headset was on and everyone was being so loud on the discord call. When he started the stream, he really thought it was gonna be a long one. But he’s only two hours in and he’s ready to get the hell off because something was definitely wrong.

“Corpse?” His name being spoken finally broke him out of his trance, he only hummed in response. “You’ve been really quiet. Are you sure you’re up for another game?”

“Actually,” he starts as he closes a few tabs, “I think I’ve gotta go. Today was fun, though. Thanks for having me guys.”

After a chorus of ‘goodbye’s and ‘see you later’s, Corpse disconnected from the discord call. “Thank you guys for being here,” he addressed the chat, “sorry I’m ending so early today. I promise I’ll make it up to you next time. Take care of yourselves. Later.”

After hanging up his headset and getting out of the chair he’s been sitting in for far too long, Corpse made the short trek to your room.

You had only been roommates for less than four months, but Corpse could confidently say that you have become one of his closest friends. Getting a roommate was the last resort that he never wanted to actually resort to. But alas, medical bills were piling up and youtube and music don’t make half as much money as people think they do. So cutting rent in half was the best plan he could come up with. He did have an extra guest room that no one ever stayed in. Of course having someone move into his personal space was terrifying to him. He didn’t just want to post an ad on craigslist or something. So he asked a couple trusted friends to ask a couple trusted friends… And that’s when you came in.

You were the trusted friend of a trusted friend of a trusted friend. When you met, you didn’t make a comment about his voice. Your face sure as hell showed your surprise but you didn’t say anything. To Corpse, this meant one of two things. You either knew who he was but didn’t want to freak him out, or you didn’t know about his online persona and were just genuinely shocked by his voice. It only took a few minutes of knowing you to know that it was the latter. Thank god. You were like anyone your age with social media. You had a few accounts, followed a few people, but mostly used it to stay in contact with friends.

It only took you guys a week to realize you had way too much in common. After many a late night when he wasn’t streaming, and many an early morning when he was just done streaming, you two became inseparable. Nothing could keep you apart.

Except for one thing.

You had a boyfriend.

There was nothing wrong with your boyfriend, per se. Just the fact that he was your boyfriend and Corpse was not.

Yeah, Corpse definitely had feelings for you.

But right now, feelings didn’t matter when he could hear tavern music coming from your room.

He knocked lightly and pushed the door open slowly. “y/n? Can I come in?”

No response came, just sniffles and sobs. The lack of refusal on your part gave him the courage he needed to open the door wider and step into your room. He had only been in your room a couple of times since you had moved in. But he had never been in a room that gave off the feeling of a person so well.

You were curled up on your bed, facing your open laptop screen and the tavern music coming from its speakers. With every sob shaking your chest, Corpse felt his heart break. “y/n,” he murmured softly, “what’s wrong?”

“It’s not working.” Came your reply, heavy with tears. “You said it would make you feel like you're going on an adventure but I still feel like crap.”

“What happened?” Corpse asked as he sat down on your bed, facing you. You slowly sat up and crossed your legs at your ankles in front of you.

“He-” You sighed heavily. “He cheated on me.”

“What?”

“He cheated on me -has been cheating on me- with my best friend. My little brother found out.” You groaned and dramatically dropped your head onto Corpse’s thigh. His hand immediately came in contact with your cheek as he brushed a few stray tears away.

There was rarely any physical contact between you and Corpse. Sometimes you’d give him a high five, sometimes he’d give you fist bump. And there was that one time you came up behind him at the grocery store and hugged his arm to your chest. You immediately whispered something along the lines of ‘creep won’t leave me alone’ followed by a loud ‘hey babe!’

Corpse could barely admit to himself how much he liked that.

But this? This felt good. Corpse’s large warm hand on your face somehow made you want to cry more but in a good way. The tenderness with which he held your face made your heart squeeze as it remembered moments like this with your boyf- ex boyfriend. But then it remembered your brother’s words.

“Hey, what’s up?” You spoke as you answered his call. Your brother wasn’t much of a caller, so it made you worry.

“Hey, where are you right now?”

“I’m home, why?”

“y/n… There’s something I gotta tell you.” He sighed and you could clearly hear the guilt.

“Did you break my DS!” It was your first thought as you had given it to him the last time you had seen him. “Dude! I’ve had that since I was seven!”

“No no, I called about something else.” He cut you off mid-whine. “But also I did lose the pen.” You huffed out a sigh of frustration but stayed silent so he could tell you what he wanted to tell you. “I saw your boyfriend at the park today.”

You furrowed your eyebrows. “And?” How did this warrant a phone call?

“He was with Bob.”

When you had met your best friend, your brother was only a toddler. He had decided that her name was Bob, so it stuck. You always called her Bob, she was saved as Bob in your phone, your whole family called her Bob. But you still didn't understand. Why was he calling you to tell you that your boyfriend and your best friend were at the park?

“Why are you calling me about this? You know that they’re friends, right?” You let out a chuckle, albeit still pretty confused. “They’re allowed to hang out without me.”

“They weren’t hanging out.” You could hear your brother push out a strained sigh. What wasn’t he telling you? “They were making out on the swing set. As in, both of them on one swing. And I double checked, it was definitely them. I-I told mom and she said not to tell you, but I couldn’t not tell you when I’m the one who saw it!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say a word.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

There was no lying to yourself, you had doubts about your best friend and your boyfriend. But you constantly brushed it off. He wouldn’t hurt you like that. Hell, she couldn’t hurt like that. Not after everything you had been through together.

But you had seen his call log by accident one time, he called her more than he did you. She face-timed him one time to ask his opinion about a dress she was going to buy while you were in the changing room. She had done a handful of things since your relationship with your boyfriend started that made you uneasy. If this was their first kiss, which was something you doubted, then they’ve both been emotionally attached to the other for far too long.

All those tender intimate moments, all those dates, throughout everything, he wasn’t faithful. Not emotionally, at least. None of those moments that you cherished meant anything to you anymore. He had played you. With none other than your best friend since middle school. You didn’t know who to be more mad at.

The thoughts of betrayal from someone who you considered a sister and the hurt of being cheated on made you nauseated.

So when the large warm hand on your face stroked your cheek again, you didn’t mind it. This was Corpse. Not your cheating boyfriend. Not your lying best friend. Corpse. And you knew that he would never hurt you.

“He’s been cheating on me for a while I think.” You mumbled against his sweatpants. “Maybe a couple months. I don’t know.”

Corpse furrowed his brows in thought. You had told him you were going to visit your boyfriend for your one year anniversary next week. “Weren’t you go-”

“Yeah.”

“And Bob’s been your friend since-”

“Yeah.” Your chin wobbled as you answered. You brought your arms up around Corpse’s thigh and hugged it. It was a strange position, but you didn’t care. He was so warm and nice and hugging him properly required more movement on your end than you were willing to do.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Corpse sighed and reached out to untangle your arms from his leg. He gently pulled you across the few inches of bed between you and sat you in his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, immediately sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want me to turn off the music?” You shook your head no against him and he chuckled before he solemnly sighed. “When did you find out?”

“When I came home.”

“But you came home hours ago. Have you been in here this whole time?” You nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were streaming, didn’t wanna interrupt.” You shrugged.

“y/n,” he sighed disappointedly, “you’re my best friend. I can end a stream if you need me.”

“Okay.” Your voice, broken and weak and tired, made him feel so guilty. You had been crying your heart out for over two hours just down the hall from where he was.

He gently grabbed you by your hips and tried to push you away, but you only held on tighter and whimpered. “I just wanna get you some water.”

“I don’t want water.”

“Then what do you want?”

“You.” You whispered. “Please stay.”

Fuck. How could he say no to that?

So he stayed.

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x reader #corpsehusband #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband fanfiction #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband fluff #corpse fanfiction #corpse fanfic #corpse fluff #gender neutral reader

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beelstoecrust · 3 years

Text

Reading you based on your obey me Kin

i will be ruthless and im not holdin back!! ok now say it with me😈

Lucifer

I kin Lucifer and I have a hard time reaching out to my friends for help even when i know i need it. I don't want people to get worried about me so i mask my issues and help everyone with thier issues, completely disregarding my own needs for a break. in the end i feel alone because regardless of saying im ok, i want someone to truly sit with me and ask me if im ok, but i fear that moment because im not used to dealing with my own issues

Mammon

I kin Mammon and i just want to feel seen and loved. sometimes i do stupid/dumb things to get the seratonin that comes from making people laugh. i feel like no one ever listens to me and it makes me feel insignificant and like the last one to get picked. i truly want to be myself and fear that if im not the odds one out by doing little dumb things people will think im essentially worthless and most likely think im borning. I have a hard time talking about my feelings and want to so desperately, that if i do i won't know what to say or where to start due to the many emotions i've bottled up throughout my life

Levi

I kin Leviathan and i have very bad anxiety. i have a difficult time making friends and part of that reason is bc im scared they already hate me or want nothing to do with me. I know my interests are different from what is considered the norm but i so desperately want to talk and ramble about said interest for hours to someone who will at the very least listen. I get bashed about the things i like by my family and although i dont show it, this hurts me deeply. I lock myself in my room and indulge myself in my favorite things bc each character makes me wish i had certain aspects of them and makes me wish i lived an interesting life but bc of my anxiety it's extremely hard for me to do so. Im also used to being the last one picked and often assume i will always be the last one picked no matter how many times im reassured and deep down i want someone to relish in my own interests with me and truly love and care for me

Satan

I kin Satan and i have a horrible realtionship with my father. I Loathe my father and the tension arises every time we a near one another. A part of me feels terrible that i loathe my father because i know he has his own mind and emotions and i want to forgive him for what he's done but in the end I know it's fruitless to forgive him bc he has put me through alot of pain and hurt. i wish things couldve been different and we couldve had a normal bond. I also hide my emotions very well and am ashamed of ever feeling angry bc it makes me feel like i am horrible person. im also not used to affection and have only ever seeked or felt genuine affection from my pets. I also fear as if i have no personality and that im boring.

Asmodeus

I kin Asmo and i feel like i need to act confident around others in order for them to like me because im too scared to show people my insecurities because i fear they will never view me the same again and leave me in disgust. I want everyone to like me and I also can't handle when someone doesn't want to be my friend or doesn't like me bc i feel if there's something wrong with me. the need to act confident and cute all the time makes me oblivious to the fact that my insecurities shine through at times and make me even more oblivious to the fact people like me for who i am, insecurities and all

Beelzebub

I kin Beel and i have some form of sepreation anxiety towards my favorite person. i often get a sudden fear that something bad will happen to my fav person even though everything is ok. I get made fun of or scolded by my eating habbits and it makes me feel absolutely terrible because i'm trying. i also care very deeply for my family/friends and will do anything for them. i place unnecessarily guilt onto myself and perfer to do so, so that no one else has to bear the burden.

Belphegor

I kin Belphie and i act as if nothing matters but i secretly am very worried and care alot about my friends/family. I also stay up very late because i feel like i have no control over my life during the day and for some reason i feel like staying up late gives me some kind of control. I also hide my emotions with a sarcastic tone and usually think about the the mistakes ive made in my past while i cry in bed. i dont ask others for help emotionally and i want someone to care and listen to me as well as to relish in a calm peaceful life.

/Undatables/

Diavolo

I kin Diavolo and i fear that telling ppl i care about them isn't enough to get the message across so i constantly gift people things in hopes to show them i care. i also fear gifting things too much drives people away from me, i also dont get included much with friends and feel as if i have done something wrong. i also feel very upset when a fun time is over because the feeling of happiness goes with that moment, so i constantly throw little parties and whatnot to relish in the joy but feel upset once it's over. i can also read people well and get put on edge or very cautious when i cannot read someone

Barbatos

I kin barbatos and i constantly take care of others never once letting myself take a break. I hide my emotions behind a smile in order to not worry others and because i dont want dont ppls sense of depency on me to be ruined. i rarely let myself take breaks bc i fear that i wont be there for the person i care about when they need me.

Solomon

I kin solomon and i usually supress my emotions to hide the fact im not very used to being shown affection and that im not as confident as i seem. I also am a very private person but the fact im so secretive makes me disliked by some bc they think i dislike them. i also wish my friends would include me in more events with them and when they dont i bury myself in an activity to hide the fact im upset about it

Simeon

I kin simeon and i want to know and make sure they everyone is ok. i know just how to push and pull people's buttons but i wont abuse this because i care about those people. i'm also very hard to read and perfer to give people advise rather than answers to their problems. The constant taking care of others makes me forget that i also need time to just myself. It takes alot and i mean alot to anger me but once it happens it's not very pretty.

Luke

I kin luke and I want to take care of everyone and often forget to take care of myself. People often dont take me seriously and so i often i find myself baking as a coping mechisim bc it makes me feel in control of little things. I also have a hard time admitting that i care about others and i'll unknowingly show my affection that i do care about them by giving them little gifts and advice. im also very oblivious to certain topics and are i get mad when i get left in the dark about certain topics.

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sequinsmile-x · 3 years

Text

Gentle

Well, it’s been a HELL of a 24 hours in the Hotchniss fandom, and I thought we could all do with some fluff. So, here it is in the form of a domestic Hotchniss mini-fic.

This is set in my Full House universe, which also has a follow up called Empty Nest

Words: 2,242

TW: Pregnancy/Sickness/Labour

It was her turn to put Ivy to bed, the little girl insisting for once that Emily did it. She didn’t complain, her daughter's requests were so rare for her that she jumped at the chance to do it. To watch her fight sleep as she read her a story, her grip on Emily’s clothing loosening as sleep finally won out.

Emily gently closes the bedroom door behind her and goes in search of her husband. She has to stop when she gets to the bottom of the stairs, breathlessness caused by the baby in her belly still taking her by surprise even at this stage of her second pregnancy. She feels her little girl shift around and smiles. She spots the dining room light is on and walks towards it, seeing her husband sitting at the table, intently watching his screen, headphones on.

He spots her almost immediately, and closes the laptop so quickly it makes her raise a brow at him. He takes his headphones off, and attempts to look nonchalant. She rounds the dining room table and stands next to him, hip resting against him as he sits.

“You know I don’t mind if you watch porn, honey. I’d just rather you didn’t watch it where our children eat breakfast.”

Aaron flushes immediately, an outraged look flooding his face as he looks at her. “I am not watching porn, Emily.”

She holds her hands up and can’t help the smile that blooms on her face at his irritation. “Well what are you watching then?”

He sighs and opens the laptop, the screen displaying a YouTube video of a woman braiding a little girl's hair.

“Ok, not what I was expecting.” She lowers herself into the chair next to him, hand pressed into her baby bump as she does so, a grateful smile aimed at him as he helps her settle.

Aaron places his hand on her belly, smiling when he feels their daughter move around under Emily’s skin. “Ivy keeps insisting that I do her hair.”

“Because you’re her favourite.” Emily grumbles, the irritation in her tone fake as given away by her still present smile. It irked her sometimes, that their daughter was obsessed with Aaron when she was the one who had brought her into this world, but then she’d see them together and her heart would melt.

Ivy was always seeking Aaron out, wanting to curl up in his lap at any opportunity, or be carried by him everywhere. The way they looked at each other made Emily’s entire body sing with happiness, and it made every single thing that they had been through, together and apart, seem worth it.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t currently holding out hope that the baby she was currently pregnant with would be a mommy’s girl. It seemed only fair.

“Ivy keeps insisting that I do her hair.” He repeats, ignoring her comment about favouritism. “And I want to make sure I do a good job.”

He gestures towards the notebook next to the laptop, and that's when she realises he had been taking notes.

Emily has to bite her lip to stop the pure happiness that bursts in her chest from pouring out. Not for the first time she was wondering how on earth she had gotten so lucky to marry Aaron, to have his children. She still berated herself sometimes for not noticing him sooner, for the time they had lost in the years where they both just ignored what was clearly there.

“I love you so much.” She says, the words flowing from her so easily. “You’re such a good dad.”

Aaron smiles at her, and dutifully ignores the fact that she absolutely has tears in her eyes, a complete slave to her hormones at this late stage of her pregnancy. “I love you too, and you’re an amazing mom.”

She smiles at that, and a tear falls onto her face which she quickly wipes away, her frustration at her constantly wavering emotions clear. “You are so getting lucky tonight, Agent Hotchner.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes. As soon as you help get me out of this chair.”

______

Emily yawns as she reaches the bottom of the stairs the next morning, excited to drink the one caffeinated drink she was allowed a day, and is stopped in her tracks at the adorable sight in front of her.

Ivy is sitting on the kitchen counter, something that would usually make her nervous, with Aaron standing behind her putting the finishing touches on her hair, two dutch braids holding their 2 year olds unruly hair into place. Emily wonders how on earth their tiny daughter managed to convince Aaron to braid her hair before 7am on a Sunday, but it didn’t overly surprise her. The little girl was quickly learning there wasn’t much she couldn’t get her father to do.

“Daddy done?” Ivy’s sweet little voice asks, shifting on the counter like she’d been sitting there patiently for hours, when Emily knew it was likely only minutes.

Aaron chuckles and Emily watches as he secures the final hair tie. “Almost, sweetheart. You certainly got Mommy’s patience as well as her hair, huh?”

The look he throws over his shoulder lets her know that comment was purely for her, his first acknowledgement that she was in the room. She rolls her eyes at him and walks over, pressing a kiss to his cheek as she joins them at the counter. “Is Jack up?”

“He’s awake but still in bed.” He explains as he finishes his task, immediately picking Ivy up and hoisting her onto his hip. “All done.”

Emily smiles as her daughter grins. “You look so pretty, baby.” She leans forward and presses a kiss to Ivy’s cheek. “Maybe Daddy should do my hair.”

Ivy frowns at that, her grasp on Aaron’s pyjama shirt tightening. “No, my Daddy.”

Emily narrows her eyes at her husband when he laughs. “Well, how about Daddy makes us all breakfast?” She tickles the little girl's belly, smiling when a laugh escapes her. “And you and me go watch some cartoons?”

Ivy seems to consider it for a second before nodding, reaching for her mother with tiny hands. Emily gladly accepts her, shooting down any protests from Aaron on whether she should be carrying her when she’s 8 months pregnant with a single raised eyebrow, and holds her daughter close.

Emily presses a kiss to the little girl's head. “What do we think for breakfast? Pancakes?” Ivy nods enthusiastically and Emily smiles at her husband over their daughters head. “Pancakes it is.”

Aaron rolls his eyes but is already getting the pans out by the time Emily leaves the kitchen. She walks to the living room and places Ivy down on the couch before sitting next to her, the little girl immediately cuddling into her mother’s side, her hand pressed on her belly.

“Baby.”

Emily looks down at her daughter and pulls her slightly closer, lamenting briefly that her bump made it close to impossible. “That’s right, sweetie. Baby.”

Ivy frowns slightly at that, a look that makes her look exactly like Aaron, no matter what he said. She then cuddles into Emily, tiny hands grabbing at her shirt. “My Mama.”

Emily smothers a laugh by biting her lip, and mentally makes a note that they will have to talk to their daughter about sharing, again, before the baby arrives.

_________

He looks so worried when he enters her hospital room it makes her heart ache. Aaron gently slips into the room and closes the door behind him, their hours old baby in his arms.

“Hey, honey.” Emily rasps out, cringing at how exhausted she sounded even to herself. “You ok?”

Aaron fixes a look at her and walks over, sitting on the edge of her hospital bed. Expertly holding their tiny daughter with one hand so he can grasp one of Emily’s in his own. “No, I am not ok. You almost died.”

She tilts her head at him and smiles, her chapped lips sticking together. “I’m fine, Aaron.”

“You lost half your blood volume, Emily.”

“Hey.” She reaches up with her other hand and cups his cheek, the terror in his voice briefly overriding her need to hold her baby. “I’m ok. It was scary as hell, and I can’t imagine what it must have been like to watch, but I’m ok.” She smiles as he presses a kiss to her palm. “She’s ok too, right?”

He smiles then, the first real one since he walked into the room, and looks down at the sleeping bundle in his arms. “She’s perfect.”

“Can I hold her?” She had only held her for a fleeting second before everything went wrong, the baby snatched from her chest as quickly as she had been placed there when things started to get really hazy, really fast.

Aaron doesn’t hesitate. “Of course.” He passes their newborn daughter into her arms, careful not to knock any of the many IVs Emily has attached to her following the emergency that had come shortly after their youngest’s birth.

Emily smiles broadly at her newborn. “Hi sweet girl. Hi Audrey. You’re so beautiful.” She raises her up, her arms feeling weak, and presses a kiss to the baby’s head. “You look just like your sister did when she was a little baby.”

“You mean she looks just like you.” Aaron says, reaching forward to straighten the cannula Emily had her nose that was delivering oxygen to her. “I called Jessica, she’s going to bring the kids by in the morning. I’ve held the team off too, I thought you’d appreciate some time after what happened.”

She tears her eyes off of her baby and looks at her husband. “Thank you, I don’t really feel up to any visitors right now.” She looks back down at Audrey. “Plus I must look a state.”

“You look beautiful.”

Emily looks up at him with a raised brow. “You’re a liar, but you’re sweet.” She looks at Audrey. “Daddy is lying, Mommy looks terrible but you’re worth it.”

She flicks her head back, the hair that had been in the loose bun she had put it in at the start of labour escaping into her face. She makes a frustrated noise when it immediately falls back.

Aaron looks at her and gets off the bed in search for her hospital bag, digging through it until he finds her hairbrush. He moves back towards the bed. “Shift forward a bit.”

Emily looks up at him questioningly and shakes her head when she realises what he’s offering to do. “Oh, Aaron no. My hair is disgusting.”

“Em, sweetheart, we’re married. I’ve seen worse. You do remember your bachelorette party right? Or the aftermath at least.”

She knows if she was well enough she would have blushed, memories of him sitting with her on the bathroom floor when she was throwing up, cursing the day Penelope Garcia was born. Crying as he wiped tears, and vomit, from her face whilst she asked if he was still sure he wanted to marry her.

“Fair point.” She says, wincing as she moves forward enough for him to slip in behind her. Audrey cries out, and Emily’s attention is immediately back on her baby, soothing her with gently rocking and noises as Aaron does her hair.

“I’ll be gentle.”

“You always are unless I ask you not to be.” She quips, smiling when he grips her shoulder and mumbles something about her being ridiculous under his breath.

She sits there and feels as he brushes it through, trying not to cringe when stringy parts of it fall in her face as she thinks about how much she really needs a shower. It feels nice when he braids it, being as gentle with her as he is with Ivy, and she thinks it might be one of the most intimate things he’s ever done for her.

When he’s done he flicks the braid over her shoulder and pulls her back to rest against him, placing the brush on the bedside cabinet.

“Thank you.” She says softly, leaning her temple against his. “Ivy would be jealous.”

He laughs, wrapping his arms around her. “She can never know.”

Emily lifts Audrey to kiss her again, marvelling in the smell of her baby’s skin. “I better be your favourite, little one. Considering I almost just died bringing you into this world.”

“Emily.”

“Too soon?”

_________

All of their daughters, including the twins when they come along, end up insisting Aaron does their hair, and over the years the styles he can do get more elaborate.

It’s something she never shares with anyone, not even JJ and Penelope, because she knows he would be embarrassed by it, even though it was one of her favourite things about him. How much he loved their children, how absurd his huge hands looked braiding the hair of tiny little girls, so gentle in his touch that they never complained.

Years down the line when Ivy gets married she nervously asks Aaron if he’d do her hair for the day, one final reminder of her childhood, something he hadn’t done in a long, long time.

He’s thrilled. But insists on practising on Emily since he swears he is rusty at it now, the times when the girls would line up in the living room to get him to do their hair long gone. A fleeting memory of when they were small, and their house was full.

Emily lets him, and playfully argues with him as he insists on trying just one more time. She tells him, having had one drink too many at her eldest daughter's wedding, that she’s always liked him doing her hair too.

#Hotchniss #hotchniss fic #hotchniss fan fic #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #fluff #its just fluff guys #might rot your teeth fluff #because frankly we all deserve it

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