I have to make a file on a subject of my choice for my baccalaureate (I'm french studying in france) and I was thinking on doing it on the mother figure and how it influences the construction and evolution of our identity, but I don't see how I could explain that to my mother... She would take it soo bad.
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men will never understand the sheer feeling of creating playlists for every emotion, blasting music while getting ready, gone girl movie through a female mind, the amy march desire to be the first choice, the art of red lipstick, annotating your favourite books, staying up all night on wattpad, fan girling over harry styles, saving money all year to follow your favourite artist around the world the pure joy it brings when ur at a concert screaming the most painful lyrics, commenting on your bestie photos hyping her up
OH HOW I LOVE BEING A WOMAN
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This is my first original post and it's a desperate one, I really just want to vent today.
I hate listening to my female classmates about the guys chasing them. I hate it. Hate it with all my soul. They act like it's such an annoyance, like it's such an issue, and I hate them for it. They call some guys who called them pretty ugly and are disgusted by their sheer mentioning; and it sucks because I was on those guys side once. I have been put in that spot so many times, for years now, I will tell my female friends that I had a crush on some guy and they will them once they had the chance, and the answer was anything from a look of awkwardness and relieve once I told them "we could just be friends" to straight up disgust, legit just saying "ew", like I was thet worst thing ever. And I get it, I'm chubby, I don't shave because my mom didn't allow it, I'm generally awkward (and in middle school I wasn't the most hygienic) but do you really hsve to go all the way? It's a few steps away from spitting at me like a trash can. I've always known (well, for most of my life, like 10 years old) that I'm not pretty enough for most, only one guy has liked me, and I took it right there even though he was a dumbass (which only says more about me); but to hear it almost every day, that all these guys said happy birthday to you, that you they want you, that they think you're so pretty, and you act like it's such a big problem.
Thing is, I know they would hate if it would stop, I know, deep inside their heart, they like it, they love it, even if they don't know it, and they would hate to not be desired, I mean, I know, I hate it.
It sucks, it really sucks, not only to not be desired, to know why you are not desired and know that they are completely right, but to hear other women talk about being desired like it's a problem, when they secretly like it.
I hate, I really want to get on my hot girl arch but I barely have enough will to shower most days, I hate myself really, and I just want to be hot so that I can do what I want without fear of mockery or disgust.
Anyways, that's all. If you read all the way to here, you deserve a good day, unlike mine so far, take care.
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