#amelia’s relapse
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doing the self insert questions for amelia! warning for mentions of drugs, s/a, & relapsing (all vague).
1 — give us a quick run down of your s/i!!
amelia e. woods (cis woman, she/her), a famous child star that faded into obscurity as she grew older. she turned to drugs & partying during her late teenage years / early twenties just to stay somewhat relevant. at the age of 22 she opted to sober up and move to new mexico with her parents. by the time the breaking bad series starts, she’s around 25 i imagine!
2 — post a meme that describes your s/i.
3 — where does your s/i live? do they aspire to move or are they content with where they are?
she lives in albuquerque, new mexico with her roommate jesse (and previously with another roommate named daisy, who she called daisy-dill). she’s pretty content with where she is! she does want to move into a bigger house but that’s only if she ever has kids.
4 — what's a song that describes your s/i? even better if you have a playlist!
songs that are distinctly amelia core are hollywood baby & dumbest girl alive by 100 gecs. she would absolutely hate both of these songs because of the genre but they are HER. hollywood baby relates to her backstory & dumbest girl alive also fits the vibe considering the hollywood movie-esque opening before a loud “angry” guitar comes in. i think dumbest girl alive would be more her when she’s doing her partying / when she first moves to new mexico. angry, sarcastic, bitter, etc.
5 — what is your s/i’s profession?
she used to be an actress but now she is a news reporter! she enjoys news reporting by a lot, especially when it’s a heart felt subject. she likes most of her coworkers too!
6 — what does your s/i have most in common with you? what's different about them?
both me & amelia are early risers, we both are very interested in schedules, we’re of the same race (african american).. um, we both can be bossy, sarcastic, clever, etc. she takes the type a personality all the way though. she is scared to relax because she’s worried she’ll let go of herself. we both can be argumentative but we don’t always mean it offensively, we just like debating ideas. we both were “good” kids. “gifted” kids.
7 — if your s/i was an animal, what would they be?
I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT! i believe she would be a deer (a mecore animal in general) or calico cat..
8 — how did you get the idea for your s/i's backstory?
i dunno.. she told me herself idk.. /hj some of it is more personal (i haven’t touched on the s/a she’s been through but that mirrors my own experience) but other parts are just things i thought would be interesting.
9 — give us an example s/i outfit (or describe it).
her style is a mash up between “goody two shoes” (whatever annie edison has going on in her closet) and 70s sort of casual femme clothing. she and her old roommate daisy got along well fashion wise.
10 — what are some of your s/i's major skills?
she’s good at debate (a club she was president of in high school), she’s a decent singer and has sung on television before, i would so just her tv presence, it helps a lot with her job. i dunno,, tv news reporter skills, that’s what she has. and she’s good at picking locks (don’t ask).
11 — what is your s/i afraid of?
relapsing… and bugs. she hates insects. except worms, she likes worms. they’re chill.
12 — if you had to compare your s/i to an already existing fictional character, who would it be?
ok so her kin list? you’re asking for her (unofficial) kin list? annie edison , kyoko kirigiri , courtney (tdi) , twilight sparkle , edelgard (fe3h) & elsa off the top of my head.
13 — has your s/i's story changed since you created them or has it stayed relatively the same?
not particularly, minor details change but the general plot is the same (as of now, lol).
#boykujou#self ship#selfship#s/i#self insert#oc & s/i#amelia woods#jesselia#tw drugs#tw drug mentions#tw relapse#tw relapse mentions#tw s/a#tw sa mention
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Personally celebrating an achievement today. It’s Under the cut
Tw: self harm
Today I am 1 year clean from self harm. Last year on this day I relapsed after 7 years. I never felt more alone, even though I thought I had everything. An unprompted slap in the face of reality really shocked my system, and in a panic of emotions and disappointment, I bit myself so hard I drew blood. I can still feel it to this day, but now it’s a reminder of what was. Not of what could be.
I have many reminders of what could be now, and I find it in the mundane and in the extraordinary. I found my church in music and nature, and I found a sense of belonging and grounding in protecting my own peace. In taking care of myself better and taking care of my spaces better, my surroundings have become more safe and welcoming. I have a gym of supportive women, I have a select few I met through here, and I have a support system that makes me believe in magic just a little more. I’m better now.
I thought I would have so much more to say, but sometimes less is more. Thanks for listening if you made it this far.
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One of the weird scenes in greys anatomy was when Derek died (and Amelia was on grief leave or something?) but they were all too sad to hire a new neurosurgeon and they owned the hospital so one just wasn’t hired and some other doctor was like, “they need to get it together and get a replacement” and Arizona screamed at her about how she should be thinking about how wonderful Derek was instead of thinking about his replacement
Arizona girl people still need brain surgeries…
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Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.
Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)
I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.
Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot
Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.
The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)
If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."
I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.
It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.
(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)
A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."
It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.
I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)
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resentment. part one
a new recruit joins the team. you, thinking nothing of it, don't realize how much her presence impacted your own body image, causing you to relapse into an eating disorder you had recovered from a long time ago. how would your roommate, Simon "Ghost" Riley, who had distanced himself from you, react?
!! Warnings: slow burn, mainly focused on fem!reader, eating disorders, angst, strong language, blood, fainting, vomiting, etc.
Today was a normal day at the base, with sergeants walking around, people working in their offices, filing reports, papers, and such. You had just finished with your own reports from the last mission, stretching your arms as you yawn. You were just about to get up when you get a call from Price:
"Everyone in my office in 15 mins, hope you hadn't forgotten."
Oh, yeah. A new recruit was about to join the force, you heard at least. You got up, quickly cleaning out the mess on your desk as you headed towards Captain's office. Knocking on the door, you opened the door and got in, seeing most of the force already there. You smiled at them, waving at them as you took your place next to Soap.
"Alright, fellas. As you possibly heard, a new recruit is going to join us for the next few months. She is an IT specialist, graduated from a high-tech university, and all that."
Captain Price said as he motions to the girl to step forward. She follows as she steps forward, a slight gentle smile glazing her lips.
"This is Sg. Amelia Sanders, and will be working with us until December. Any questions?"
The room is silent, everybody looking at the new recruit. Price nods as he sits at his desk.
"You are dismissed."
As he says that, everyone got up and exited the office. You looked at Amelia for a little longer, finally glad for another girl on the team, before you stood up to follow the others.
It was lunchtime, and you were sitting at the table in the base's cafeteria. You were having a conversation with Soap and Gas, enjoying your meal. Soap continues to talk about his previous mission.
"Then, he came up behind me and tackled me to the ground! But, with my amazing and fast reflexes, I managed to pin him to the ground, which gave me a chance to stab him with my knife. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what you call a mission!"
Soap pats himself on the back, proud of himself. Gas only manages to shoot a glare, trying to humble him.
"Damn, you really will be talking about this for the next year, won't you?"
Soap rolled his eyes as he picked up a spoon to his mouth, eating his meal. You chuckled as you looked around, realizing that you haven't seen your roommate in a while.
"Has anyone seen Ghost?"
You asked, fiddling with your food. Both of them shrugged their shoulders.
"I think he was going to give the newbie a tour of the base, but I'm not sure."
You nodded as you continued on with your meal, focusing on the afternoon ahead of you. Later that week as you were training in the gym, lifting the barbell off the floor. As you were doing your set, you saw in the corner of your eye your roommate. You gently placed the weights down, turning your head in his direction. You wanted to come up to him, but then you saw that he was talking to Amelia. She filled the atmosphere with her laugh, a squeaky, melodic laugh. He probably told her one of his dad jokes, you thought to yourself as you turned your head, pushing all the thoughts off your head.
You turned your head slightly, looking at them both, and you shook your head again. You gently placed the barbell and weights in their own places, and you exited the gym.
I might go on a run instead.
And there you were, lapping around the base, your ponytail swinging in the air. It was 7 pm and the light summer breeze blew through your body as you jogged, drying the built sweat on your forehead. The night birds sang their melody as the leaves on the trees danced to it, rustling through your ears as you run through the forest track. The same track you used in your training a long time ago. Sure, being a mercenary at a young age helped with your development, building a character, maintaining discipline, and all. But sometimes you wondered what it would be like if you weren't working here.
I'm overthinking again.
You picked up your pace, maybe that could help. But this time your mind focused on something else. Amelia.
It's been a week since she joined the team. You only talked to her twice, about paperwork and all the office shit. She was nice to you, and her voice was gentle every time she asked you questions, she nodded her head, paying immense attention to your every word. She was quick with everything, understanding the whole job with just a few explanations. You admired her, even though she was younger. Or so you thought you did.
You were sprinting at this point, your feet barely catching up with your thoughts as you run. After realizing this, you immediately slowed down, stopping in order to catch your breath. Your head was spinning, you were running for a while, hence the sunset painted on the sky. You sat down on the grass, your head in your hands. This was not normal behavior for you.
What is happening?
At the base, there were many female soldiers, lieutenants, and such. You never even paid this close attention to them, but this time, it was different. What was it about this girl that got you thinking like this? Was it her silky, perfectly combed, soft hair? Was it her toned, slightly muscular, yet slim figure? Was it her gentle voice? What was it?
As much as you hated to admit it, this exact moment reminded you of something you thought you left a long, long time ago. Something that consumed your mind to the point of barely losing yourself. You shook your head, trying to get rid of the thoughts, but you couldn't. Instead, you felt chills down your face. You felt your body shake slightly as it came up your throat. You immediately bent to the side as you threw up, your hands on the grass, holding up your balance.
After calming down, you were able to stand up. You stood up, your legs shaking slightly as you wobble around. A few steps later your walk became more stable, helping you get as far as your room.
It was 10 pm and you have already gotten out of the shower and were laying on your bed. You were facing the ceiling, your fingers playing with your freshly washed hair. The sun had set a few hours ago, and the window of the room faced the open road, the warm yellow light from the street lights inviting themself into the room, glazing over your face.
Ghost hasn't gotten back.
This past week you weren’t the only one who had changed. There was something in Simon’s behavior that has changed, as well. He is late every night, even though you were the late one, usually. He stopped sitting next to you at lunch, not showing up at all. You began to worry.
What did I do?
You thought that every night. Every, single, second of the night where the only way you could fall asleep is if you cried your guts out.
I mean, you couldn’t help it. He was your closest friend, the first person you got introduced to when you joined. Even though your personalities were so different, that was what drew you guys together, even moving into the same room as roommates. You were the first person to hug him, you were the first person who saw his face. You were special. You were his best friend.
You teared up again, it is a routine now. You curled up into a ball and cried, letting your tears puddle around you as if you were swimming in the middle of the ocean, where every sob was a wave, pulling you further into itself.
You were deep asleep when Ghost returned, but it didn’t even matter, because the moment he entered he plopped himself on his bed, not even thinking about you.
He doesn’t know what happened, he is so blind.
You had a nightmare that night. Even though you used to have nightmares rarely since you were tired every night. But tonight is different, again.
You were on the beach on a winter day, it was empty, and you were sitting on the sand, wearing nothing but a long white dress. The cold wind was blowing in your face, your hair dancing in the air. You were facing the ocean, watching the waves as they battle each other. The smell of dried seaweed and salt filling up your nose and flowing through your body. The freezing water hugged your feet every time a wave went by. You were calm, it was peaceful until you saw a tsunami going toward you. Your eyes widened as you stood up immediately and ran away from it. But there was nowhere to run, the beach is endless. You ran as the big wave was approaching you with every step. The only thing in your sight was infinite sand- no buildings, no land, only sand. But you weren’t fast enough, the big wave swallowed you. You couldn’t run or swim, you were already caught. As your lungs filled with water, your body slowly started to freeze from the cold water. It already consumed you, it is over.
You rose instantly, barely choking on your breath as you looked around. The cold sweat, the swollen eyes, the messy hair, everything seemed way too familiar. Your chest heaved with every breath you took, you were just dreaming, and it was only 5 am. You looked around again.
“Simon?”
The tears built up in your eyes again, he wasn’t there. Why wasn’t he there? Where the fuck is he? You stood up and went to the bathroom, maybe washing your eyes might help.
As you turned on the faucet, you caught a glance of yourself in the mirror. You couldn’t recognize the person looking back at you. You splashed your face a couple of times, bringing yourself back to Earth. You manage to brush your teeth and get ready for another day at base. You didn’t want to work, but you didn't want to call in sick either, you didn’t want people to know that you were not doing okay. You didn’t want to be another burden.
You put on your uniform, which consisted of your normal tan shirt, cargos, and boots. Placing your hair in a bun, you felt your heartbeat fasten. You obviously didn’t look normal, what are you going to say if someone asks you about your appearance? You thought of an excuse for a few minutes, and eventually, you have planned to just say that you ‘stayed all night watching movies’ or whatever. That excuse was quite believable since everybody knew how much you love film, especially when you have spent sleepless nights watching movies with Simon.
You sighed as you left your room, giving one last check at the clock, it was 5:45 am. The corridors were empty since it was really early. You thought about giving a knock on Soap’s door, but you immediately pushed that thought away. You continued down the hall leading into your workplace.
As you sat down in your chair, turned on your computer, and waited for it to load, the sky was getting brighter by every five minutes. At first, it was dark blue, then it became a brighter shade and then the sun began to rise, giving the sky a yellowish-pink color. You looked outside the window, trying to enjoy the moment of peace and silence until a familiar voice rang through the hall. A quiet, melodic voice was heard, followed by gentle and soft footsteps. You felt your heart sink to the floor, fighting the urge to cover your ears with your hands, muting all the sounds. But you couldn’t, you knew you couldn’t do that here. So you just sat there, frozen in your place, hoping her voice would just go away.
Go away.
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thanks for reading! if you enjoyed it and want part 2, don't hesitate to give this a like or a reblog. if you have any suggestions, you are more than welcome to give them, I'm all ears :) I really wanted to write something more deep and angsty, so please don't wonder why there is no smut, there won't be any.
#simon ghost riley x reader#ghost cod#ghost mw2#call of duty x reader#ghost x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley fanfic#cod mw2 fic#modern warfare 2#modern warfare x reader#cod angst
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Someone tell me which WIP I should work on instead of studying for my finals
You Have the Wrong Guy - in which everyone is giving Jake the shovel talk when it was Bradley who broke off their first relationship - Exs to Lovers, ft. dagger squad and class of 86’
Unpacking - how each of the daggers (and Mav) find out about trans!Jake - not romance centered but has the development and destruction and ultimately getting back together of Hangster, Javy is the best friend ever and deserves all the love, this is very self indulgent
Running - Jake has ran his whole life. If no one can catch up to him no one can leave him. Then he meets Javy. The man seemingly has unlimited  patience and always seems to be a step ahead of Jake. - character study, Macheresin, Jake has an absent father and issuesTM
Ballett AU (unnamed) - In which Ice is a Ballet instructor and Mav takes care of Amelia for Penny when he’s not test piloting the military’s newest planes. - plenty of misunderstandings, Icemav endgame but mistaken Mav/Penny, Penny&Sarah friendship
Dinner for Three - when Beau gets an invite to the Mitchell-Kazansky household he figures it’s something to do with the dagger squad, after all the first (and only other time) he was invited over was to celebrate the success of the dagger mission, what he was not expecting was a fancy dinner cooked by the handsome couple that are blatantly flirting with him. This is some cosmic joke, right? - Cyclone/Maverick/Iceman, might end up being smut but won’t promise anything, ft. Cyclone having a massive crush on Ice and reluctant feelings (ew) for Mav, surprise they like him too, Bradley shows up in here for some reason
Dadmral - the obligatory fic in which the dagger squad finds out Mav is married to the COMPACFLT - Pov Phoenix which is different for me lol, some texting, dagger squad and class 86’, Icemav, Ice is alive, Rooster gets smothered by his uncles who have missed him
Coming Home - Rooster fixes his relationship with Mav while working on the Mustang and getting awful (and some good) relationship advice - Icemav, Hangster, Mavdad, Icepops
Goose Been Knew - in which Goose has to deal with idiot pilots who clearly love each other (twice), don’t worry he has a lovely wife and partner to go complain to. - Goose lives, Icemav, Hangster, Slooserole, really just short bits of Goose putting up with Mav and then Rooster
Guitar - Bradley owns a guitar for reasons completely unrelated to his ex who he’s definitely not still in love with. That would be crazy. They’ve been apart for years. - Hangster Exs to Lovers, bitter Hangman, Phoenix and Javy are DONE, the rest of the dagger squad are confused
A Series of Weddings - Tom and Pete get married for the first time in 91’ despite what the world tells them they can do, they talk about it in 2011, they get married legally in 2013 when Ice is diagnosed with Cancer, talk about redoing vows and throwing an actual celebration in 2015 (they don’t), redo their vows in the spring of 2021. In 2023 they attend the Bradley’s wedding. - this is honestly one of my favs, inspired by this post, Icemav, no relapse of cancer, lots of weddings, love, and fluff, Hangster at the end, class of 86’
#fanfic#top gun#top gun maverick#icemav#hangster#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#bradley rooster bradshaw#wip#Jay’s fanfic#javy coyote machado#macheresin#jake hangman seresin#phoenix trace#natasha phoenix trace#dagger squad#class of 86’#top gun class of 86’#slooserole#nick goose bradshaw
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YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching grey’s anatomy for the first time (season 14 because i’m still hanging on by a thread)
-why did megan hunt have a fresh coat of mascara and some lip gloss on when she got flown in with her gaping abdominal wound LMAO
-teddy!!!!!
-i absolutely think they should tell megan about meredith and riggs and let her make an informed decision on whether she wants meredith to be her surgeon. this is greys anatomy, of course there’s gonna be a conflict of interest. they’re making this more complicated than it needs to be.
-somebody tell me when the show stops being worth watching. so far i’m hanging on bc i’m mildly interested in how jo and alex turn out, i want teddy and amelia to interact, and i’ve warmed up to arizona since she broke up with callie. obvi i love meredith i just don’t know how much more they can do with her before i just want her to take a warm bath and retire to somewhere far far away with her children.
-did amelia relapse offscreen???? wtf is going on???
-okay she has a tumor i guess. sure, okay, whatever. !!!!
-she put a gun in her !!!!!!!!! for a man???
-i don’t love the way they’ve introduced the new intern class. they set it up as if we already know them, whereas i feel like with every other class of interns we’ve gotten eased into it a bit more before we’re just tossed into this unfamiliar dynamic
-okay but wait i do like that in this ep w the roller coaster (and the people who are supposed to be baby cristina, george and izzie) they referenced the old intro. i think the writers knew they needed a little nostalgia to hook people back in at this point. jury is still out whether or not it’s working on me.
-maybe i’m stupid but why in the fuck would they have so many important things dependent on one networked computer system. why on earth would cardiac monitors be hackable?????
-idk about maggie/jackson…. seems too incest adjacent
-the casual gaslighting and manipulation with paul stadler is so well written
-“jackson avery, you are such a disappointment, i thought you were woke!!!”
-genuine question: do they just not do chemistry reads on this show when they cast romantic interests???
-*choked up*”right before she died, she told me i should be more slutty. and i just wish i could call her and tell her how slutty i’m being” i really do love maggie
-maybe i missed it but why does carina have an italian accent but andrew doesn’t?
-i like the development of jo and meredith’s relationship
-i think meredith and this firefighter woman should kiss on the mouth
-i like april better now that she’s kind of a mess
-OOH wait does helm have a little crush on meredith bc i’m kind of obsessed with that
-if there’s one thing greys usually kills it with its casting younger versions of characters for flashbacks
-i miss joe the bartender :(
-oh my god he gives them fake cancer so he can charge them for fake chemo?????? what the fuck
-too much of an emphasis on these lesbian cookies…. suspicious
-okay yeah that makes sense. i love this
-nurse olivia!!
-olivia of course has a right to still be upset but it’s a little weird to assume alex didn’t change at all in the past ten years. not to mention it’s weird to act morally superior about it now when she cheated on george with alex
-“if you wanna rebuild you have to tear it down first” bingo
-did i miss amelia getting her own place or is she taking this girl to meredith’s house??
-okay i guess she’s just moved in with owen again. i need to pay better attention lol but so much keeps happening and it’s a lot of mush to sift through
-“meredith grey is straight” “ever hear her talk about cristina yang?” LMAO
-PREGNANT?
#if you are ever curious why i have enough time on my hands to move through the seasons so fast#don’t worry about it. next question#greys anatomy#these are all tagged under#greys reactions#meredith grey#teddy altman#jo wilson#amelia shepherd#maggie pierce
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Grey’s Season 19 Finale
Just some random thoughts (I’ve watch these eps in so many parts over the day, I forgot half of it already):
- I never bought the “Simone is actually getting married to someone else” so the first ep came with little surprises. I honestly don’t care that much about that story altogether (mostly because I find Simone the least interesting new intern), but I guess I’m happy for Lucas.
- Yasuda and Helm are cute together. I’m glad those writers picked up on my suggestion all those months ago (now where’s my check? lol, jk). That first kiss was both fun and adorable (and I have to admit: quite original).
- I like Blue, too. Haven’t really made up my mind about Jules. (Which I guess isn’t a good thing, after 20 episodes?)
- Is it just me, or did Hunt make the wrong choice at the end? I get that it’s his wife on the floor, but everyone can do cpr, while he’s the only surgeon in there who might save the patient.
- I know addiction never really goes away, but tbh I’m a bit done with Webber and Amelia taking turns in relapsing.
- Can we leave Mer and Nick in Boston now?
(side note: I personally can also do without Mer’s voice-over by now. They were great for about, idk, 6 to 8 seasons, but these days I don’t even hear them anymore. If they must keep them, than just give them to someone who’s actually on the show.)
- I’m not really shipping Link and Jo, (and I still prefer Link and Amelia), but I don’t hate them, and things were taking too long anyway, (and kissing in the rain always helps), so I guess yay them!
- Bailey getting that award wasn’t just spoilered, but also filmed too obviously (hadn’t I known). Poor directing, I guess. But good for her!!
- Altogether this season still didn’t get close to the first ten (or so), but imho it was def better than the last three (or so). The new interns are an asset and prove that some change, especially after this long, isn’t always bad. Curious for what’s next in season 20! (holy f*ck, I can’t believe I’ve been watching this show for almost two decades...)
#grey's anatomy#simone griffin#lucas adams#mika yasuda#taryn helm#benson kwan#jules millin#amelia shepherd#richard webber#owen hunt#teddy altman#meredith grey#nick marsh#jo wilson#atticus lincoln#miranda bailey
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Okaaaaay, just finished watching Greys Anatomy S19 finale and I cried after a long time while watching Greys
Here are a few thoughts I had -
-This season is DEFINITELY an upgrade from the last 2-3 seasons. I love these new interns, they give me OG MAGIC vibes
-Simone running away from her wedding reminded me of my OTP Japril, no where near as iconic but I do see the resemblance. Even in their relationship dynamic to some extent.
-not a fan of Link and Jo getting together because I just want one simple boy-girl friendship because after Mer and Alex I don’t think we really saw it, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong
-can the writers please just be creative and give Webber a diff storyline than just relapsing again and again. (Having said that I understand addiction is an everyday battle and it’s not so simple but I’m only speaking from a storyline point of view, like I feel we have explored this aspect of Webbers life, give us something else)
-BAILEY WINNING THE CATHERINE FOX AWARD WAS EVERYTHING!!! I ugly cried with her
-It was so good to see Mer 🥹🥹🥹 specially in that Dartmouth hoddie
I felt like I was seeing an old friend :’)
-the plan ride almost gave me a heart attack because I cannot handle another crash on GA
-I don’t want to say much about Mers Alzheimer’s theory because I guess you can find out new things but what she is proposing is HUUUUUGE and I just want to understand that this could be overlooked by people working in the field for years and years
Ps- just let Amelia be happy please
#greys anatomy#greys#anatomy#greys anatomy season 19#meredith grey#lucas adams#Kwan#jules millin#blue kwan#Simone#greys anatomy s19#greys anatomy spoilers#richard webber#april kepner#jackson avery#april and jackson#japril#miranda bailey
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Amelia Shepherd (Grey's Anatomy)
she just so amazing and shes gone thru a lot (anencephalic baby, addiction, relapse, everyone who she loves dies or leaves) and still she’s gotten through! she’s bi or some flavour of queer and she’s head of neurosurgery super impressive and one of my favorite blorbos
MaoMao (The Apothecary Diaries)
she is so autistic and so crazy and she is obsessed with poisons and keeps getting bribed by being given rare medicinal materials (including cordyceps) and she grins when she gets poisoned cause she likes the feeling and she learned her trade from her adopted dad and she is so mean to the crown prince because she hates pretty people and she makes friends with other autistic girls (including one who is obsessed with insects & snakes)
#amelia shepherd#grey's anatomy#maomao#apothecary diaries#round 1#fictional medic showdown#character tournament#poll
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The latest Bob's Burgers episode exceeded my expectations by light years. There has never been another Bob's Burgers episode like this before. Not only did it not have an intro in order to give the story more time, AND I'm pretty sure it's the only episode ever in which the title isn't a pun(just a simple, respectful "Amelia", but it was reminiscent of the movie in the way the visuals were more dynamic, the score more theatrical, the voice acting stronger and the plot less episodic. We have already had an episode about Louise exploring her gender and realizing she just doesn't act like other girls do, isn't exactly a girl the way the others are- and that's okay, and now we have an episode about her learning that it's okay to be a girl at all, that will never hold her back.
The back and forth between Louise's righteous frustration towards the desire to prove a sexist boy wrong about Amelia Earhart and the finished project of her shadow puppet play that framed Amelia's story in such a beautiful, emotional, childlike way is absolutely genius storytelling.
Season thirteen has been a conflicting season because the majority of the episodes have been pretty weak and bland, but this season has also contained some of the few, most emotional Bob's Burgers episodes ever made. Bob and the kids going on a search for his mother's grave, Louise being nervous about presenting a genuine poem and secretly wanting her family there to support her, Tina changing herself in order to make "cool" friends and repeatedly humiliating herself until realizing cool people like when you are true to yourself, Louise's tendency to put herself in danger relapsing and her and Tina nearly drowning to death in a cave, and now this episode.
This episode also introduced a new unique character, it's message was extremely progressive and valuable and so accurate to the female experience, and it was by far one of the funniest episodes in the season and I nearly died of laughter a couple times. It makes me curious as to why this episode was the one to break the mold so intensely. I imagine the writers were just struck with a really good idea and put their all into it. it very well could have been an average episode. A made for tv, relatively funny, gone with the grain BB episode. But it wasn't!!! It was so different and refreshing!!! The only thing it was missing was a musical number, but it didn't need one! The story is perfect how it is! (And we still got a really cute outro song). This is most definitely one of my favorite BB eps of all time.
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A Study In White:
The first wave of cocaine use occurred in the second half of the 19th century, between 1860 and 1905. This stimulant, which has the characteristic of causing a pleasant effect, evidenced by a feeling of well-being, euphoria and lack of shame, was greatly welcomed in the medical community as a miraculous panacea that could be used to solve various diseases and ailments, from toothache to labor contractions, as well as mental disorders such as “hysteria” or “melancholy”. One of the greatest enthusiasts of the therapeutic use of this substance was the Austrian physician Sigmund Freud who often prescribed this drug during consultations with his patients to resolve the most varied emotional or physical pathologies.
In this sense, when considering the close patient-physician relationship that was probably established between the latter and Mr. Sherlock Holmes during treatment for the absence seizures that he reported to be having due to malicious hypnosis techniques, it is possible to assume that cocaine was indicated by Dr. Freud to Mr. Holmes. Furthermore, if Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's transcripts are taken at face value, it is noteworthy that in the first book, which would give rise to the series of the detective's adventures, “A Study In Scarlet (1887)”, Mr. Holmes mentions taking regularly, 3x a day more specifically, the stimulant at 7% dilution intravenously. A high dosage, but not particularly shocking as the occasional use of the drug was common practice in Victorian England.
Reaffirming this fact, in “The Sign Of Four (1890)”, cocaine is referred to as a mind stimulant and nerve tonic during idle moments, being extremely useful for strengthening logical reasoning. It is thus clear why the use of the stimulant is so appealing to Holmes, since there are few other things he values in equal esteem as the power of his brain and the importance of keeping his wits sharp. In addition, if Freud had indeed prescribed the drug there would be even more reason for Holmes to use it religiously in order to avoid the relapse into the absence seizures that made him seek help from the Phoenix Brotherhood in the first place.
It is also noteworthy that Holmes did not consider himself an addict in the most common sense of the word, but maintained his chemical dependency as something to be managed. This sense of control over one's addiction, whether justified or not, will be a relevant point as this discussion moves towards its conclusion.
Now that the foundations of this essay have been laid on the character of one of those involved, it remains to discuss the other. Unfortunately, due to the specific quality of the fraternity of which it is said and I quote, "Amelia is all about secrets", there has been a difficulty in obtaining reliable data about the past life and believable personality of Arthur, the Interviewer and many of the claims that will be made here are based on speculation and empirical analysis. In order to avoid unnecessary bias when dealing with an individual who is already sufficiently obscure, two main sources were used: "The Amelia Project Wiki: The Interviewer" and "The Amelia Project Personality Database: The Interviewer".
Based on these, the following information was extracted:
“The Interviewer is a very jolly fellow. He is often enthusiastic and can be quite intense, especially when engaged in something of his liking. However, he is also very easily bored, and doesn't like to partake in things that's not interesting to him. While often friendly, he can come across as a bit arrogant, rude and self centered. He does care a lot about the people closest to him though, and often seems genuinely interested in helping other people, and of course to hear their stories.”
Furthermore, he fits as a 7w8 ENTP by the Myers-Brigg method, associated with the sanguine temperament described by Galen of Pergamum.
Although the ENTP 7w8 personality is seen as a particularly cheerful, outgoing, intellectual and quick-witted type who value creativity, freedom and self-expression above all else, these have as their main characteristics the impulsiveness that leads them to take unnecessary risks and accomplish poor planning in medium and long term consequence analysis. These individuals tend to be irresponsible, often putting themselves in dangerous situations, since the journey for “freedom and stimulation” can lead them to destinations that are sometimes easily avoidable.
In addition, the sanguine temperament only reinforces these traits. While they are generally communicative, expressive and cordial, they are also prone to emotional instability and indiscipline, often being exaggerated and unproductive in their decisions.
It is emphasized, of course, that the use of stimulating substances is related to several intrinsic and extrinsic factors to the individual, but several researchers such as the Institute of Addiction Medicine, in Philadelphia, USA, point out personality traits that are common in people with greater chance of developing chemical dependency, namely: Impulsivity, non-conformity, low stress tolerance, sensation seeking, etc.
It is possible to observe that Arthur, the Interviewer has most of these traits, having a personality that almost presents itself as a risk factor.
That, coupled with a close friend, Mr. Holmes, who makes prescribed use of the drug while denying the addictive quality of the substance, plus the fact that at the time there was no knowledge about the negative effects associated with its use, such as neural destruction, liver and kidney damage, mental illnesses, among other problems, corroborate the speculation that Arthur could have been exposed and even introduced to the stimulant during the period referring to the cohabitation between him and Mr. Holmes.
Furthermore, it is chronologically possible with what was exposed during the year 1929.
BIBLIOGRAPHIC REFERENCE:
Available at: <https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.victorianweb.org/authors/ doyle/addiction.html&ved=2ahUKEwiHlLXfzL3_AhUurpUCHZ-FCNUQFnoECBEQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3P5rR8LLkdUh3gx32ln5Vj>. Accessed on: 13 June. 2023.
Available at: <https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.gruporecanto.com.br/ blog/what-leads-a-person-to-use-drugs-understand-the-reasons/&ved=2ahUKEwiL16iGzb3_AhUSrJUCHZdIDR0QFnoECBAQAQ&usg=AOvVaw06pjH1omH5FVLgpi3PAlX8>. Accessed on: 13 June. 2023.
Available at: <https://www.personality-database.com/profile/602939/the-interviewer-the-amelia-project-mbti-personality-type> . Accessed on: 13 June. 2023.
The ENTP 7w8 : Characteristics, Weaknesses and Famous Characters - Introverted Growth. Available from: <https://introvertedgrowth.com/entp-7w8/>. Accessed on: 13 June. 2023.
@ameliapodcast though you would like the essay
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back to square one
TW/CW- relapse, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness
This was the final straw, if things couldn’t get any worse, here she was walking away from the first person who truly got her brain. Lethargically she made it to her office and got prepared to leave, and then made the treacherous walk to her car. Her hand lingered on the door handle. Her brain feeling like it was encased in fog. Eventually she made her way back to her apartment. She couldn’t decide if it was good or bad that she didn’t have Scout tonight. After opening the door she dropped her keys in a small painted pottery bowl her and Kai made together at an art studio, everything in her life was tainted by Kai’s presence. She sighed as she draped her coat over the couch. After taking a look around the apartment she was once so happy in, she headed over towards the cabinet beneath the sink. As she sit down on the cool tile floor she felt as though she was gonna cry. She rummaged through the detergent bottles and toxic cleaners, until she found the bottle she was looking for. A wine bottle, one of her new neighbors gifted to her as a welcome present, unknowingly. Why she kept it she didn’t know, she said it was for any guests who may come, maybe deep down her knew this would happen. She held the bottle for awhile, contemplating. She’d been sober for so long, she couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be drunk. But it was the only thing she craved for, to forget, to drown out her thoughts, to not feel as lonely. Her mind was racing a million miles a minute, she knew this was wrong. After coming so far she owed her self more, but she couldn’t handle her mind. She hoisted herself up and poured the wine into one of Scout’s sippy cup cause children’s dish-ware was pretty much all she had. As she brought the cup up to her lips she hesitated, her conscious telling her to stop at all costs, but there was a voice begging her to just take a sip. That one sip because two, which became the whole bottle. Once realizing what she did she slammed the glass bottle into the sink and fell the the ground. How did this happen? How did she allow this to happen? She swore she was never going to touch alcohol after Meredith’s attack, and before that the death of her firstborn. Her firstborn, she swore she’d stay sober for him, now for her son. She just couldn’t do it anymore, neither of them needed her. She felt worthless, she didn’t matter to anyone in her life anymore. Everyone left her eventually, she should’ve know. Things were too good for too long. Eventually she went to bed, hoping to forget what she had done. The next morning she woke up with a terrible hangover, she forgot about this part. Not being able to stand the feeling a reality spinning back to her, she made her way to the nearest liquor store. After buying some hard liquor, she saw her phone. She totally forgot she was on call, her phone blowing up with pages. She stood there staring at her phone, before simply shutting it off. She couldn’t be bothered, Mr Mehta could take care of it, they didn’t need her.
——————————————————————
“Where’s Dr Shepherd?” Webber asked as he handed his iPad to the nurses station.
“Not sure but she hasn’t been answering her pagers, I mean I may have to suspend her she’s on call.” Teddy sighed as she filled out a chart.
“That’s not like her.” He could now feel his anxiety bubbling. Amelia always answered her pages.
“Well Im sure shes upset about Meredith and Maggie leaving, and now on top of that Kai is doing research in London.” Teddy explained before she walked away leaving Richard in his thoughts. This was not a good mixture, he immediately texted her inviting her to a meeting. No response. He was gonna give her a couple of days to mope before checking in on her.
——————————————————————
“Damn it.” Link said with frustration, he’d been trying to contact Amelia all day, he hadn’t heard from her since last week which was their last exchange. It was her day to take Scout, and he had planned a big night for him and Jo, he was gonna confess his love to her. But those plans would be squashed if his ex wouldn’t pick up her damn phone.
“Everything okay?” Webber asked as he stepped into the attending’s lounge.
“Yeah, it’s just Amelia isn’t answering and it’s her night to take scout.”
“Haven’t heard from her all week?”
“No, but we don’t really talk. Haven’t heard from since our last exchange, but that’s not out of the ordinary I want nothing to do with her.” Webbers suspicion was proving to be true.
“You should give her a bit more grace, she never intended to hurt you like this.”
“Well she did.” Webber was debating whether or not to unleash all the things he never said to him.
“You know, she was drowning and you just stood there watching. While you were around the house drinking she was barely holding on. And after everything she’s been through with Christopher I wouldn’t be surprised if her grief wasn’t over taking her. She had a newborn and 3 other kids in her hands within 10 minutes of getting home from the hospital. If you really loved her as you say you did you would’ve been there to help her. But you never checked in.”
With that Webber left the room and made his was to the parking lot. He had to go check in on her. He was giving her a couple of days to mope, but it’d almost been a week since he invited her to that meeting and was met with no response. He was being optimistic, she’d been through worse and stayed sober, she was probably just in her bed closing out the world. He knocked on the apartment door, but there was no answer, now he was thinking the worst. He kept vigorously knocking until the door opened a crack.
“Can I help you?” Amelia simply stated barely showing herself.
“You haven’t been to work and I haven’t seen you at a meeting.”
“I know.” There was uncomfortable silence for awhile until she spoke up again. “I was suspended for a little bit for not answering my pages.”
“And why weren’t you?”
“I’m sad Richard, please just leave me alone. I’m gonna be okay.”
“I can see straight through you shepherd. And don’t think I can’t smell the alcohol on your breath.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“How about ‘Come on in, I’ll make us a pot of coffee’.”
“It’s a mess in here.”
“I’ve seen worse.” Slowly she opened the door and let him in. He hadn’t been in the apartment yet, it was cute. Seemed like a place Amelia would live. His eyes were then drawn to the bottles on the counter and the smashed one in the sink. He watched as she walked over to the coffee machine. He then realizes he’s never seen her drunk before. She’s tripping over herself and is slurring her speech. “So what’s the plan here? Are you gonna get up and clean yourself off? Or are you gonna stay like this forever?”
“The latter.”
“I heard it’s your night with Scout.”
“Yeah he doesn’t need me, I mean he has a new mother who’s ten times better than me.”
“Jo is not going to replace you.”
“Richard I don’t really care. Scouts better off without me, he doesn’t need a spiraling mother in his life.”
“It’s just a slip up.”
“I’m too old for this. I don’t have the strength to get sober again.”
“You are way younger than me when I got sober the last time. I know you Amelia, you are stronger than this disease.”
“No I’m not, I’m nothing.”
“The Amelia Shepherd I know, fights for the her loved ones and her patients, her kindness is indescribable, she’s stronger than this.”
“I can’t I just can’t.” She’s starts to feel tears welling up in her eyes. She doesn’t want to cry in front of him. “It’s too much.”
“We’ll take it one step at a time. First let’s clean this place up and get ourselves to a meeting.”
“Thank you.” Amelia whispered quietly as the older man started to dump out the remaining liquor.
#amelia shepherd#greysabc#greys anatomy#meredith grey#scout derek shepherd lincoln#scout lincoln#richard webber#maggie#atticus lincoln#teddy altman#kaimelia#kai bartley
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Chapter Five
Alex Cabot / Amelia Chase
(A/N So I fixed her, and her actions, does that justify me writing this, no, but I figured fuck Pam Adler she was an awful person- she also played Abby Griffin in the 100 and I really didn’t like her - so your welcome you can sleep easier.)
“Amelia Chase is not guilty.” Alex looked up at George the man sauntering into the precinct thankfully splitting up her and Elliot, Alex feared that is he had she would have gone blow for blow with him for that comment.
Liv scoffed, “How can she not be guilty, she cuffed him to the bed.”
George nodded, “She did but she wasn’t competent at the time.” He turned to address Casey and Abigail, “How long has your sister been an alcoholic?”
Casey was stunned she knew the entirety of Amelia’s journey of sobriety but at no point did she think that held any standing to her case or conviction, “She’s been a heavy drinker since she was 14, our father pushed her to the edge, but she’s been clean for 4 years.”
Alex shook her head, sadness clouding her eyes, “Not from the night of the rape, she’d been drinking.”
Abigail was stunned her head in her hands, “That’s not possible Amelia hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol from the minute we admitted her into rehab. She was careful, she never relapsed.” George hummed in agreement,
“Because it wasn’t her fault, Pam Adler gave her a water bottle filled with vodka, one sip and all self control was out the window. She already had PTSD and with the alcohol she didn’t have the mens rea to commit any crime.” The rage simmered in Alex, as she stormed out of the precinct.
“Councillor to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit.” Alex glowered at Pam Adler and her attorney,
“Amelia Chase, you framed her for murder.” Pam chuckled, with a cocked brow,
“You can’t prove that.” Alex shrugged sliding a document across the table,
“A sighed sworn statement from the man that you used to commit the murder, a revised statement from Peter Smith saying it was you and Sydney Greene that raped him, and the DA’s petition to drop the murder and rape charges in favour of facilitation of a sexual offence. You’ll be charged with obstruction of justice and wrongful imprisonment, there goes your chance of parole.” The defense attorney sighed,
“What are you offering Alex?” The blonde glanced over at the woman shrugging,
“Your client reiterates to the court at Amelia’s hearing that she had no part in the murder, nor the rape. And the DA doesn’t press charges.” The lawyer whispered quietly to Pam, the pair exchanging a brief conversation,
“Fine, you got yourself a deal. On one condition,’we want to know why your so desperate to help Ms Chase.” Alex cocked a brow glancing between the pair,
“Ms Chase is the sister of an ADA and a marine soldier who was wrongfully imprisoned due to the defenses oversight of her mental condition, and reduced capacity, I’m helping an innocent woman.” Carolyn Maddox’s eyes furrowed,
“What mental condition?” Alex smirked, the files making their way into her briefcase,
“She’s an alcoholic who was given alcohol by your client after four years of sobriety, under the guise of it being water in a water bottle. And with her already existing PTSD, from childhood abuse Amelia Chase did not have the capacity to commit a crime nor the mens rea to stand trial. Her record will be expunged and your client will continue to rot in prison.” The smirk still hadn’t dropped from Pam’s face although Alex did revel in the shiner of a black eye she possessed.
“Tell me is she still good in bed councillor?” Alex snarled,
“We’re done here.”
Walking out of that meeting Alex was seething, God was she angry the constant assumption that she and Amelia were fucking was beginning to grow infuriating. They weren’t wrong of course, but that didn’t at all negate her anger.
Casey and Abigail found themselves in Alex’s office later that day sat waiting for her, “Casey, Abigail to what do I owe the pleasure.”
Abigail smirked as Casey’s smoothed out her features, “Casey wants to know if your fucking our sister.” Enzo of whom Alex only then noticed was sat on the couch immediately succumbed to laughter.
It was manic laughter, uncontrollable fit of chuckles, that Abigail soon succumbed to, Enzo wheezed out an apology between large breaths.
“I’m sorry, just give me a minute.” Alex sat at her desk head in her hands,
“I didn’t mean to.” Abigail raised a brow her own smirk reminding Alex so much of Amelia,
“What did your fingers just slip inside, no of course she tripped and fell between your legs.” She winced when Casey delivered a swift slap to that back of her head and Enzo was yet again divulged in laughter.
Casey turned to her wife with a pointed glare, “You be quiet.” Before directing her attention to Alex,
“Did she buy you the watch.” Alex smiled looking down at the watch brandishing her wrist,
“Yeah, and the flowers, the breficase, new notebooks a new fountain pen. She’s been nothing but sweet.” Abi and Casey exchanged looks, before Abi spoke,
“You keeping Cabot or are you taking Chase when you get married, because Amelia Cabot sounds good, rolls right of the tongue.” It was Casey’s turn to giggle, Enzo approaching an arm wrapped around her wife,
“Amelia has to take Cabot, tradition is me Alex and Hunter all convert the good Christian Chase girls to lesbianism and they take our last names.” Alex snorted although she was still nursing her head in her hands, Casey scoffed indignant,
“You did not covert me to lesbianism.” Enzo surrendered her hands raised, as she smirked at her wife,
“Okay sorry, coaxed you to bisexuality, whatever it is Alex has to make Amelia a Cabot to stick it to your bastard of an old man, I mean your brothers baby mama gave James and Danielle her last name and your oldest brother is a priest so no kids for him the Chase name ends with him.” Abigail nodded in agreement with a soft smile at the thought of her wife.
“She’s got a point, the idea of Amelia being married to a woman would probably send him over the edge, could count on a heart attack during the vows.” Enzo chuckled heartily in agreement,
“I remember the ‘heart arrhythmia’ during me and Casey’s engagement party.” Abi cut in,
“Or the ‘stroke’ during me and Hunter’s after party.” Alex looked up at the three curiously,
“Is he really that bad?” Abu groaned leaning back in her chair,
“Depends which of us you ask, our brothers would say he’s a good father, but I got more injuries from him than playing baseball. Amelia would tell you what a bastard he was, she got the worst of it, especially when he was drunk she’d get in between us and him, and Casey-” The ADA interrupted,
“He was great until I started playing softball, then even Amelia couldn’t protect me, no matter how hard she tried and she did try. When I met Charlie and we got engaged he became a father again, but when Enzo came into the picture and I left Charlie he told me he didn’t have any daughter anymore only sons, even with the bruises in my face he couldn’t understand.” Enzo held her wife in large burly arms, careful of the bruises still littering her face.
They were interrupted when Alex’s office phone rang she picked up immediately tears clouding her eyes at what the voice in the other end was relaying.
She put the phone down immediately standing up, “Alex what’s wrong?”
Alex’s eyes were glossed with tears, “Pam Adler got into Amelia’s cell at Riker’s she’s in the hospital Pam stabbed her with a homemade shiv, she’s in surgery now.”
#law and order svu#alex cabot#casey novak#l&o svu#svu#feral adas#lgbtq#feral detectives#amelia chase
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It was not his decision. The producers said they wanted a shocking twist and that they would be killing him off for a big new story to kick off. He was quite teary talking about it when interviewed.
Anonymous asked:
Rishi was axed :( Bhasker said on a TV interview this morning the producer rung him up and told him they were killing him off for a big story and a big surprise.
Aww that's sad that he was axed, especially because Bhasker seems like such a nice guy who really enjoyed the job.
Thinking about it more, I'm really of two minds about it all.
On the one hand, I can commend them for actually making a real decision and taking a risk like this rather than just killing off characters whose actors have quit. I can also commend them for managing to keep this quiet so that it was actually a shock death despite the heavy foreshadowing in the episode.
And I said before, they haven't really known what to do with Rishi for years and without Priya too, he's definitely become more of a spare part but at the same time, he's a more relevant, less dull character than say Harriet who they also axed. And with the story at hand and Jai's impending guilt, it's definitely a death that will be more meaningful than some others. And I think in that sense, it's potentially a good risk to take.
On the other hand, the story to get there is...meh. I mean I've seen it pointed out that this is like the fourth or fifth time they've gone for the whole I'm not your dad it's my brother story and that's totally true. We had Cain be Zak's and not Shadrach's. We had the whole Adam is James's son and not John's and the really stupid story with Amelia being Daz's and not Dan's, which was extra irrelevant. So it's really just an overdone story at this point, which is pretty par for the course with the terrible trio. But it also just feels even more cruel to the characters since they then killed Rishi off without any resolution and I'm sure Jai's guilt over all of this will be exhausting to watch. It sort of feels like shock for shock's sake and cheap drama. It depends on what they do with it.
I can commend them on wanting to build up a non Dingle family, but I feel like this whole story has been rushed and a bit short sighted. Everyone immediately knew the brother twist and that Suni would be Jai's half brother. But like imagine if they'd brought Suni months ago and used him in the Nicky story instead of Ally. We'd have seen Nicky sort of reluctantly start something with Gabby and then meet Suni and hit it off with him and it would be clear that something was happening between them and we could have gotten the gay reveal before the Caleb reveal so you would have been intrigued why he would continue this relationship with Gabby and that would make the Caleb reveal more interesting. Plus we could have really seen the Nicky/Suni relationship develop as part of a larger plot and then try and work things out after it all came out rather than Ally just immediately exiting stage left never to be seen or heard of again. And then we wouldn't have immediately suspected that Suni was Jai's brother.
I don't know. I just think there were ways to rebuild the Sharma family without it having to be a paternity twist. And if they then bring in Suni's dad or Suni's sister than it really does feel like they just cleared out one set of Sharmas (Rishi, Priya, Nikhil) and replaced them with another (Amit, Suni, Nisha) and that's not really building up the family.
Ah well...at least I like Suni as an addition so far. There's that. But I'm sad for Bhasker and I'm not exactly looking forward to Jai's impending grief and guilt spiral and I really hope they don't do to Jai and Laurel what they did to Leyla and Liam after Leanna's death. I want Jai and Laurel to stay together and I don't want anyone to relapse please. We can touch on it, but I can't deal with any more drug storylines for quite a while after the Leyla debacle.
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YET ANOTHER long and obnoxious stream of my thoughts while watching greys anatomy for the first time (SEASON 16 bc i decided i will try to catch up to you guys who are awaiting S20)
-tom koracick, despite all outward appearances, is far too nice
-bailey pisses me off sometimes bc she usually isn’t wrong, but within the parameters of how everyone behaves on the show, her decisions feel wrong, yk? like irl absolutely she should have fired them without a doubt. but in this soapy medical show in which everyone commits malpractice five times a week, it feels like she’s overreacting lmao. does that make any sense?
-meredith in her community service outfit is kind doing something to me
-a man on a scooter just ran into maggie and amelia’s car and it startled me so bad i drew blood with my cross-stitching needle!
-lisa ann walter!! and charmed cast in the same ep!
-bailey and i are beefing actually
-do NOT have another affair, richard webber
-“how come my mom hasn’t called from sleepover community service?” sleepover community service PLS
-a lumineers song in the background!!! the music is good again
-why is owen pulling this bullshit again!!!!!!!!!!
-bailey is making me so fucking mad right now. she has no room to act morally superior considering some of the shit she’s pulled. she also continues to have this attitude that meredith should owe her something for being her teacher…. which is sort of valid but let’s not pretend that bailey doesn’t owe meredith quite a bit too. idk again it’s one of those things again where in real life, she’s be perfectly justified but within the fictional guidelines set up by the show, she’s being a vindictive asshole.
-patricia!!!!!
-“she is the sun and she is unstoppable” !!!!!
-addison wrote one too!!!!
-this episode is potentially a little too sentimental and overly emotional but i really really like it. the nostalgia bait made me like it even more actually
-more lumineers!!!! i really like this episode. (i’ll stop now but it’s the first episode in a really long time that i’ve really enjoyed the entire thing)
-everyone is being really dramatic about koracick he really isn’t that bad
-i want to like schmitt it just feels like we were sort of thrown into deep emotional story lines for him without getting to know him beyond surface level. maybe it’s just me it just feels like the show wants me to have a certain level of emotional investment in him that i don’t have (yet?)
-beanie feldstein!
-teddy’s sparkly little winter hat is so cute
-TEDDY NO. i don’t mind if you cheat on owen tbh but plz don’t play with tom’s feelings instead of facing your problems.
-i’ll not comment a lot on the alex thing bc i had spoilers for it and honestly it’s just so ridiculous. it’s one of those things that i don’t blame the character for bc i know it was the writers and other irl circumstances. i imagine from izzies perspective this is the culmination of a beautiful crazy love story akin to the notebook. but from our perspective this sounds like the lie you tell your kids when the family dog dies- “oh he went to live on a farm”
-does richard have another brain tumor??? this doesn’t seem like a relapse but…
-i know it’s wrong but i wouldn’t mind this affair if i thought the show was treating teddy/tom as a serious option. as it stands, i just think teddy is being selfish
-i knew the baby wasn’t gonna be owens
-i KNEW this would be a boy who cried wolf situation with deluca. unfortunately, he also is struggling mentally i think but i don’t know if he’s manic or suffering from a break. they had me convinced i was wrong for a minute, but i knew it would turn out that he was right about the girl being trafficked. but i definitely think that he was nowhere near ready to come back to work and that the psychologist should not have cleared him. i hope he gets the help he needs soon bc i really like deluca :(
-the conference in LA would’ve been the perfect opportunity for an addison cameo
-OOH A TWIST IN TEDDY’S BACKSTORY. this explains a lot
-OOH SO MANY TWISTS THIS EPISODE.
-i am fighting for my life trying to defend teddy in my head. i hate owen as much as the next guy but this whole thing is brutal to watch.
#greys anatomy#is anybody still reading these!!#lmk when ur sick of these#the show is getting meh but i am powering through!!#i’m actually a season ahead of what im posting bc i waited so long to post 11 or 12 iirc#but also i am a hermit with no life and i watch a lot of tv#i’ve finished season 17 as well (but not my cross stitching project grr)#meredith grey#teddy altman#andrew deluca#jo wilson#these are all tagged under#greys reactions
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