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commentaryvorg · 5 years

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Danganronpa V3 Commentary: Part 5.9

Be aware that this is not a blind playthrough! This will contain spoilers for the entire game, regardless of the part of the game I’m commenting on. A major focus of this commentary is to talk about all of the hints and foreshadowing of events that are going to happen and facts that are going to be revealed in the future of the story. It is emphatically not intended for someone experiencing the game for their first time.

Last time, almost everyone was in so much despair that they were legitimately suicidal, Maki definitely was not and cannot possibly have been okay with helping everyone die before they’d rescued Kaito, then the plot continued to be one massive lie as they saw the Hope’s Peak Flashback Light, which was a terrible piece of in-universe writing to pander to the audience, that had to be semi-brainwashing the characters to make them even care and fill them with a meaningless “hope” that’s nothing close to the actual point of the word.

We left off kind of mid-conversation as they were talking about this meaningless hope, specifically because things are about to become a lot more meaningful right here.

Maki: “We have to… save Kaito, too.”

Because finally, someone is talking sense!

Himiko: “He’s so stupidly positive. He’s just the kind of guy we need at a time like this.”

Keebo: “With Kaito by our side encouraging us, then even if we are the only people left… I think we can still find a new hope.”

Shuichi: (Yeah… that’s exactly right. I knew that… even in a situation like this, he’d think of something!)

And now it seems like they’re shifting slightly towards the actual definition of hope. They’re assuming that, with Kaito’s incredible levels of optimism, he’ll be able to think of some way this situation can end positively, some outcome that they’ll actually be able to hope for.

(And technically, in deciding to rescue him, they’ve now found something to actually hope for already – they’re hoping they can get their friend back! It’s just a more minor hope that doesn’t fix their overall situation yet.)

Maki mentions that she happened to see Kokichi leaving the Exisal hangar yesterday, which is how she knows they’re both in there.

Tsumugi: “By chance? Really? I bet the truth is you were worried about Kaito and were watching the hangar all day.”

Of course she was worried about Kaito, they’re friends, you moron. Anyone would be worried about their friend in a situation like this if they weren’t in too much despair and depression to find the energy to do so – which Maki was not, because she’s been through so much awful stuff in her past that it’s given her a certain level of resistance to that kind of feeling now. Shuichi was worried about Kaito too, and if he’d magically not been in despair then he would also have been watching the hangar yesterday and trying to figure out a way to rescue him.

Some lines a little bit later will make it clear that Tsumugi (and perhaps also the narrative) is trying to imply that the only reason Maki is worried about Kaito is because she has romantic feelings for him, but no, fuck off, that’s amatonormative as all hell and the fact that she does happen to have romantic feelings for him doesn’t change that.

Maki: “…”

Shuichi: (Looks like that was the case.)

Maki is blushing, because apparently she picked up on Tsumugi’s implication about the romantic feelings and is still not ready to admit to that part. Makiii, don’t let yourself get caught up in that nonsense; you did it because Kaito is your friend and nothing else is relevant here. This is exactly the kind of bullshit that could pressure people into thinking they totally must have romantic feelings for their friends when they genuinely don’t, which is not okay.

Maki: “It’s not like I was worried about Kaito or anything. I just… had nothing else to do.”

Maki has always worried about Kaito since they became friends and has even more or less admitted to it a few times. She’s only denying it so insistently now because Tsumugi is implying that if she’s worried about him then that’d mean she’s obviously in love with him because it’s not like you can possibly be worried about your friend at all. Ugh. Ugh.

Maki: “Also… I’m used to watching others, so it wasn’t any trouble. It’s important for assassins to watch their targets, and think of ways to kill them—”

I like how this starts out sounding like she’s talking about being a child caregiver, and then… oh. (I bet she did watch the kids a lot while she was caring for them in the orphanage, though.)

Maki: “…We’re going to wait until tomorrow morning? What about the hangar?”

…

Shuichi: “Maki… I know that you don’t want to wait a single minute more than necessary…”

Maki is really fixated on getting Kaito back as soon as possible. As it happens, there is a time-sensitive aspect here and sooner would be better, but she’s not aware of the fact that Kaito is dying and yet still seems to think time might be of the essence. She’s still worried about what Kokichi might be doing to him, isn’t she.

Maki: “Fine, that’s what we’ll do then… This time, we’ll definitely kill him.”

Shuichi: (Kill…?) “No, Maki, you can’t! Even if he’s a Remnant of Despair, that doesn’t—”

Maki: “But if we kill him, then everything will end. We have no other choice. For that reason… I will kill him.”

Maki Roll, no! I would say that this is Maki getting caught up in the incorrect buzzword-y definition of “despair” and believing that “despair” still exists as long as Kokichi is alive, even though that’s bullshit because despair is a feeling and not a person and they’re already no longer feeling it right now. But there might be more to it than that, because she did indicate earlier that she’s not convinced Kokichi is really going to leave things here. So long as she believes that Kokichi might do something else to try and hurt them and make them feel despair again, it is somewhat more justified that she wants this. At least in her fucked-up worldview where she’s been raised to believe that killing people is the go-to method of solving problems that don’t have an obvious peaceful solution.

Shuichi: “But… Kaito said that killing is wrong… remember?”

This is a really inappropriate way of putting it that makes it sound like killing is only wrong because Kaito said so. What Shuichi really should be saying here is two completely separate things: that killing is wrong, full stop – and also that Kaito in particular doesn’t want Maki to kill anyone and would be upset if she did. Merging the two ideas together makes it come out incredibly not right.

Maki: “… …Fine. If everyone thinks that way, then I’ll listen to you guys.”

Maki Roll! I wish this wasn’t a lie but it is! In fact, the fact that everybody doesn’t want her to kill him is possibly what spurs her to try and kill him alone, in the middle of the night, because it seemed that until then she was planning to do it when they storm the place tomorrow morning.

Maki: “But if it seems like anything dangerous is going to happen, then I’ll definitely kill him.”

This is a slightly more reasonable mindset – self-defence, if he was about to hurt someone. But she could still definitely do that by just knocking him out. Dammit, Maki, you and your fucked-up upbringing that’s made you think this way.

Himiko: “There’s nothing more dangerous than a heated Maki Roll.”

Himiko gets glared at for it this time, but we’re slowly working towards Maki being okay with Himiko calling her that!

Shuichi: (I didn’t think we’d be able to stand together as one again. And… it’s thanks to Maki. While we were sedentary, feeling sorry for ourselves, she was planning…)

Yep! Turns out being written with the most tragic backstory ever can actually be useful in terms of making you desensitised to horribly despairing situations that would break anybody else’s spirit.

Shuichi: (I suppose it might also be thanks to Kaito… Because Kaito was worried about her, she promised to work hard to do her best…)

Of course! If it weren’t for Kaito, Maki wouldn’t be trusting and co-operating with everyone like she is now!

(Although I wonder if this is a mistranslation and the original actually meant to say “because she was worried about Kaito” – and if that’s what it means, then that’s less relevant. She would have been up and about regardless because of her resistance to despair, and it’s only because of that that she was then able to spend time worrying about Kaito. Shuichi is worried about Kaito too, but that alone wasn’t enough for him to fight off the despair.)

Maki: “…Let’s do our best. Then the three of us… can train together again.”

NO. DON’T DO THIS TO ME, GAME. Not when they’re not ever going to be able to train together as a trio again, because no matter what happens from here, Kaito is not going to make it. Aaaaaa.

In his room, Shuichi decides that there’s still something he can do, namely scouting out the Exisal hangar.

Shuichi: (And… I’m worried about Kaito. He’s hurt, and… he’s sick… I’m sure he doesn’t want me to worry about him, but… I have to.)

Aww. I love how Shuichi has picked up on the fact that Kaito hates it when people worry about him – but of course Shuichi can’t help worrying about Kaito anyway, Kaito is his best friend, how could he not.

And look at how Shuichi is perfectly aware that Kaito is still sick. Kaito’s claims of being back at 100% at the beginning of this chapter really did not fool anyone.

It’s also lovely that it’s not even occurring to Shuichi that Kaito might still not want to talk to him. So many awful things have happened that their falling out is barely relevant to Shuichi any more next to the fact that he just wants to see Kaito again and know that he’s okay, and he’s unthinkingly assuming Kaito would feel the same. (Which, of course, he does.)

If you try and head somewhere unrelated, in which the game always gives you a line that’s its way of saying “this isn’t what you should be doing, go progress the plot already”, the line that serves that purpose during this particular part is a repeat of most of what Shuichi just thought here, about how Kaito wouldn’t want him to worry but he has to. So it seems like being worried about Kaito is really the main thing on Shuichi’s mind and scouting out the hangar is mostly an excuse to get the chance to see if he’s okay.

(It’s almost like being worried and wanting to check on them is the natural response to your sick and injured friend being held captive by the big bad evil mastermind and not an inherent indication of anything other than platonic feelings. Fancy that.)

Oh, man, I decided to examine a dead student’s door to see what Shuichi had to say about them, except I happened to randomly choose Gonta’s:

Shuichi: (Gonta… I finally understand your pain. I understand the despair you were holding inside. If you had known… that you were a symbol of hope… maybe we could have helped…)

I didn’t know this was here! It’s so lovely that this exists to acknowledge that Shuichi understands now what Gonta went through! Aww.

Knowing that he was a symbol of hope should not have changed anything about the despair he was feeling and the fact that he wanted to save everyone else from feeling that despair, though, just like it shouldn’t have changed anything about how Shuichi feels. I wonder if Gonta, with his more simple and straightforward outlook on things, would have been able to pick up on this. Maybe he’d have been kind of confused by all this stuff about symbols of hope and epic battles and would still have been simple-mindedly focused on the fact that everyone they knew is dead.

…But then again, even if he felt that way, if everyone else told him that he’s a symbol of hope and that he can still make a difference by holding onto some vague, nebulous “hope”, Gonta would almost certainly have been spurred to do his best anyway. Whenever someone told Gonta he could be useful, he’d always cling to that without questioning it, after all.

Keebo: “We must rescue Kaito, no matter what… If we’re to defeat despair and find a new hope for ourselves… I’m certain we’ll need him by our side.”

At least Keebo realises that Kaito genuinely is a source of hope.

Shuichi: “…Yeah, you’re right. It was thanks to Kaito that we’re all working together again!”

It’s interesting that Shuichi says this; he’s apparently talking about the last time Kaito rallied everyone together, which was before this whole mess happened, but that’s still important to him! Have I mentioned that Kaito is still a hero even though he never has any idea what he’s doing.

During this bit where you can walk around as you head to the hangar, Himiko is hanging out in front of Tenko’s lab, which is cute. I wonder if she went to apologise to Tenko for having given up for a little while.

Tsumugi: “Maki, who was so tsundere in the beginning, is now the one pulling us along. But, it’s probably because of Kaito’s influence.”

Shuichi: “Huh? Why do you think that?”

Shuichi, you should know that Maki’s helpfulness is thanks to what Kaito has done for her, you shouldn’t be asking this. Apparently he is awkwardly being twisted into asking this as a setup for the bad writing that is about to ensue.

Tsumugi: “Huh? Why? You can tell just by looking… Maki’s interested in Kaito.”

Because this is not the fucking point! Maki would have changed just as much thanks to Kaito’s encouragement and training whether or not she had any romantic feelings for him, and that is obvious. Just because Tsumugi happens to be right doesn’t mean that her coming to this conclusion for these reasons makes any kind of sense.

I also cringe at the phrasing “interested in Kaito”, as if Maki’s trying to get something from Kaito, like she’s entitled to it just because she feels this way. Admittedly that phrasing is just a product of general background amatonormativity in the way things like this are usually talked about and not necessarily inherent to what the game’s doing here. Still, I’m pretty confident that Maki in particular would not actually be thinking like this just because she has feelings for him, since she is seemingly on the aromantic spectrum and doesn’t see things in that usual way, and is also horrendously selfless and never thinks that what she might want is ever important.

Tsumugi: “Otherwise, she wouldn’t be watching the hangar the whooooole time like she is.”

Yes, because it’s not like she could possibly be worried about him and staking out the hangar to figure out Kokichi’s movements and the best way to rescue Kaito if they were “~just~” friends, right???? Shut up.

(Shuichi, you’d better not tell her that you’re about to go scout out the hangar too since you’re also worried about Kaito. That might just give her even more Stupid Assumptions.)

Tsumugi: “Huh? Are you shocked? Were you guys in some reverse love triangle situation?”

(Or possibly Tsumugi is also heteronormative and that wouldn’t occur to her; I’m not sure who she’s implying Shuichi is into here. At least this one she goes on to admit is a joke, but, ffff.)

Tsumugi being like this is incredibly frustrating, but it makes a certain amount of sense, because the point of her character is that she’s a fan, and this is exactly the kind of thing fans do. (And shouldn’t. Shipping itself is totally fine, ship whatever you want if it makes you happy, but insisting that perfectly platonic things are definitely proof of romantic feelings is amatonormative, please don’t. People can care about each other to the ends of the earth without being in romantic love, and this needs to be acknowledged more.)

Tsumugi is also going to insist later that Maki’s feelings for Kaito are totally her doing, which she might already be trying to sow hints at here, but I’m of the firm belief that that’s bullshit, too. I’ll talk about that more in chapter 6.

Maki is the only one who’s not out and about somewhere during this part. The fact that she apparently doesn’t want anyone to see her right now is a little concerning.

The Exisals are guarding Monokuma. It’s entirely possible they were doing that from the moment Kokichi came back from the tunnel, making this the reason why Monokuma hasn’t been there for the announcements and hasn’t been able to try and influence the game since then.

Note how it is only four Exisals doing this – the fifth one (the red one) is still inside the hangar, because Kokichi is preparing to execute his plan and knows it’s going to be needed. Even if Maki wasn’t going to storm in and complicate things, he is already ready to do this.

And now to talk to Kaito!

Kaito: “Don’t shout, stupid! Kokichi will hear us!”

Kaito says this, but this isn’t going to stop him from sometimes talking quite loudly during the rest of this conversation anyway.

Shuichi: “Tomorrow morning… we’re all coming to rescue you.”

Kaito: “All of you?”

Kaito’s voice sounds so surprised and moved to hear that it’s all of them, as if he never expected the others to care enough to make the effort to rescue him. But of course it’s not just your sidekicks who care about you, Kaito! You’ve had a huge impact on everyone!

Shuichi: “We had all given up. But not Maki. She did everything she could to get you back. …It’s because she believes in you, Kaito.”

I mean, really it’s because Maki is resistant enough to despair that she hadn’t given up, and from that position the most useful thing she could be doing was working on rescuing Kaito, but. She still does believe in him. That is still a very true statement.

Shuichi: “She knows that you would never give up, no matter how bad things got.”

Kaito: “Y-Yeah! Of course! I’m Kaito Momota, Luminary of the Stars! Even if the world has ended and humanity has gone extinct, I can’t give up!”

Of course not! But of note is his slight stutter as he begins to say this, and the fact that he only even says it after hearing that Maki believes he wouldn’t give up. Kaito is definitely having a much harder time staying optimistic about this than he would like to, and he only starts forcing it through once he hears that one of his sidekicks is expecting it of him. He has to keep living up to that expectation, no matter what.

Kaito: “It’d be a crappy story if the hero gave up so easily!”

He’s still trying his hardest to be a hero, even after all of these incredible hardships he’s been through! In fact, I think this might be a sign that Kaito has stated to shift his view of heroes just slightly – that he’s realised that the most important thing for a hero isn’t necessarily that he succeeds, but just that he never gives up no matter what’s thrown at him. What makes a hero story crappy isn’t that the hero struggles, just if those struggles cause the hero to give up and lose.

(Also, the “story” part is quite relevant. Kaito’s thing of seeing himself as like a hero in a story is delightfully appropriate to the game’s theme.)

Shuichi: “Yeah, that’s right, Kaito.”

Shuichi agrees! Both that Kaito is still a hero, and, I like to think, that good hero stories involve the hero never giving up. Shuichi likes novels, after all, so he’d know – far better than Kaito ever used to – that the heroes who struggle and suffer make much more compelling and inspiring stories than the heroes who effortlessly win at everything.

Kaito: “Don’t you worry! I’ll do something about all this! That’s a promise!”

Kaito, you wonderful moron, you don’t need to! Shuichi just told you they’re all coming to rescue you! All you need to do is sit tight and wait!

Kaito: “All you guys are working so hard, so I can’t just sit back and relax!”

But of course he can’t just do that – he always feels the need to do something about the situation, and to do it himself so that he can feel like he’s making a difference. He’s still supposed to be the hero, isn’t he?

This hasty promise of his culminates in his basically inconsequential attempt to fight back against Kokichi with the crossbow tonight. But note that he clearly hasn’t actually thought of that plan yet, or he’d be asking Shuichi to go and bring him a crossbow instead of having to ask Himiko later.

Shuichi: (There’s… something I want to ask him… I don’t care if he’s overconfident, or acting… I just want to hear him say, ‘Don’t worry, it will be okay.’)

See, Kaito really is still a hero to Shuichi! Shuichi still needs and benefits from Kaito’s encouragement and optimism, even when he’s perfectly aware that it’s all a façade. Sometimes just hearing those words even when you know they’re not true is all you need, and Kaito is the best at giving them. Since he knows they’re not true but is choosing to invest in them anyway, Shuichi isn’t seeing Kaito’s words as lies, but as an inspiring fiction. (Kaito sees them more as lies, though, because he thinks they’ll only work as long as Shuichi believes they’re true.)

Kaito: “It’s just… I’m happy you guys wanna save me, but stay safe, okay? Getting close to an Exisal is dangerous, even if you’ve got an Electrohammer.”

Oh, Kaito, of course you would still worry about everyone except yourself in this situation. He’s glad they care about him, but he still doesn’t like the idea of them risking themselves just for him.

Shuichi: “Ah, by the way… are you feeling okay? Apart from the injury, obviously.”

Yes, that very vague and nebulous injury where we never actually know what kind of injury it even is. But that aside, what Shuichi is actually asking here, albeit indirectly, is, “How’s your health?” He totally knows that Kaito is still sick.

Kaito: “Who, me? Yeah… of course. It’s nothing.”

But of course it’s fine. Of course it’s nothing. It’s definitely not so horrendously bad that he’s barely even going to last a day from here, nope, he can’t have Shuichi worry about him at all or risk ruining his high spirits, especially not at a time like this.

Kaito: “Anyway, Kokichi should be back soon, so we better end our chat.”

Shuichi: “Ah, okay… Sure. … And hey, Kaito… About what happened with Gonta—”

It’s appropriate that Shuichi only awkwardly brings this up when they’re supposedly about to end their conversation. He’s just had this whole chat in which Kaito is happily talking to him again, so things seem fine, but he still doesn’t want to end it without trying to address what happened between them. Perhaps the fact that Kaito is finally talking to him again is what gives Shuichi the confidence to bring it up, even though he’s still not sure exactly what to say (because I certainly hope Shuichi isn’t about to try and apologise for the absolutely nothing that he did wrong).

Kaito: “Shuichi, I leave the rest to you.”

This is the first time Kaito has said Shuichi’s name since pushing him away at the end of chapter 4. And yes, you guessed it – in Japanese, this is him using the name “Shuichi” again, and not “Saihara”. He is immediately letting Shuichi know that everything is okay between them.

To talk specifically about Japanese-Kaito a bit more, because this thing with Shuichi’s name is a delightful bit of extra nuance which is sadly (but unavoidably) missing in the English: I imagine that Kaito regretted calling him “Saihara” from the moment he said it, because that gave the implication of “I don’t care about you any more,” which he must know would have hurt Shuichi and he never wanted to do that. But he’d have also spent early chapter 5 not feeling like he deserves to call him “Shuichi”, because that’s a mark of the close, trusted friendship that he feels like he’s broken by letting him down. So Kaito’s inability to talk to Shuichi would have been somewhat convenient for him in this regard, because it gave him a perfectly good excuse to not address Shuichi by either name when both of them would have hurt to use.

Shuichi: “…What?”

Shuichi is so bewildered that this is how Kaito chose to respond to this. He was preparing himself for a painful, heavy talk about what happened to Gonta, but instead Kaito is just… praising him…?

Kaito: “While I’m gone, you gotta support everyone. Especially Maki Roll… She can be reckless sometimes.”

The “while I’m gone” part could sound on the surface like he’s just talking about until they rescue him, but… I think we all know what he really means by that. He means, “When I’m gone”. Because he knows he won’t last much longer and that Shuichi is going to have to take charge and keep fighting without him when the time comes.

This is also not the first time Kaito has asked Shuichi to support Maki while he’s not able to do so himself, as if Maki still needs some support with her issues and Shuichi is a hero enough that he’d be able to give it.

(And I am amused by Kaito having the audacity to remark on her being reckless sometimes. Look who’s talking.)

Kaito: “You’re an impressive detective, through and through.”

…Yep, Kaito’s response to Shuichi bringing up Gonta very much is all about him telling Shuichi how awesome he is. This may sound like he’s just shifting the topic away from the Gonta issue, but in fact this is Kaito responding to that in the best way he ever could. Because the core issue of that trial was never what happened to Gonta and was never about Kaito being angry at Shuichi for doing what he did. It was about Kaito not being able to accept that Shuichi is stronger and more of a hero than him. And that’s exactly what he’s able to do now. By praising Shuichi’s strength and reliability, Kaito is essentially saying that he’s no longer letting himself be upset by that and Shuichi shouldn’t worry about it any more.

That said, that message doesn’t really get communicated to Shuichi here, because Shuichi never realised the problem was on Kaito’s end in the first place, and Kaito is still not actually admitting to having been jealous or apologising for lashing out quite yet. Still, Shuichi can at least tell from Kaito’s positivity and encouragement (and using his given name in Japanese) that things appear to be good again and therefore Kaito apparently isn’t angry at him any more (even though he never was in the first place, you idiot).

But one thing that unfortunately doesn’t ever really get covered is why Kaito is okay with this now. It’s a pretty significant shift for him, but he’s been offscreen for almost two ingame days so we never get to see any hints of how that shift occurred (and he’s certainly never going to talk about it, because he’s Kaito).

That’s not going to stop me from thinking about this anyway! To be fair, I think a lot of it rather simply comes down to suddenly facing an even bigger, even worse problem which puts the problem between himself and Shuichi into perspective and makes him realise it’s not quite as big of a deal as he was making it out to be. The notion that he’s let Shuichi down suddenly doesn’t matter nearly as much when also the entire world has ended and they’re two of literally only seven people left alive.

I also think, though, that this would have put things in perspective for Kaito in another way. Up until then, he’d basically managed to irrationally convince himself that Shuichi is an invincible hero who doesn’t need him. But a revelation this huge and awful would be hard on anyone, no matter how heroic they are. At a time like this, everyone is going to need support from their friends, and everyone is going to be able to give it, just by being there. And the only thing someone can really offer in this situation is baseless optimism because this is too massive for anyone to “do something about it”, yet that baseless optimism is still going to help.

So, while this is all speculative because we never see any indications of what went on in Kaito’s head during these two days, I think it makes sense that the impact of what he saw outside that door would have shifted his previously very black-and-white perspective about heroes and sidekicks, and strength versus weakness. He should be able to realise now that even though Shuichi may be stronger and more of a hero than him, that doesn’t mean he won’t still need and benefit from someone else’s support, and it doesn’t mean Kaito can’t still be someone who can give that to him, even if all he has to give is words of encouragement and a smile.

Kaito: “You might not only reach the truth, but something even beyond it.”

This is a very interesting line! Apparently Kaito believes that there’s something “beyond” the truth. It’s almost like he’s also aware that what they saw outside isn’t actually the real truth.

Now, he definitely doesn’t know that for certain, or he’d be telling Shuichi he thinks so (unlike someone), but, consider. Kaito has still managed not to fall into despair from that awful supposed-truth, despite not being numb to despairing situations like Maki is, and despite not having seen the Flashback Light which filled everyone with artificial motivation. This is a testament to his ridiculously stubborn optimism, which even manages to work in a situation that’s this completely hopeless. Kaito’s is a mentality which utterly refuses to let him properly acknowledge painful things that are right in front of him – that’s why he couldn’t accept Gonta’s guilt, after all. He’d rather cling to the slightest possibility of something better, even if it goes against all reason to consider it possible in the first place, purely for the sake of not giving up.

So I think Kaito managed to keep himself together in this situation by stubbornly telling himself that maybe what they saw outside isn’t quite the whole truth after all, despite having zero actual proof that that could be the case. It’s completely baseless optimism, but a baseless optimism that he clings to all the same simply because he’s Kaito and he refuses to fall into despair. And if the outside world they saw really isn’t the whole truth, if there really is a real, less hopeless truth behind that, then Kaito sure as hell doesn’t have a clue how to prove it – but he knows that if anyone can, it’s Shuichi.

Kaito: “And don’t forget… you’re not alone! Don’t try to do everything yourself. It’s only gonna wear you out. When times are hard, you gotta rely on your friends.”

Despite how he believes in Shuichi’s potential to take charge of it all and take everything from here, Kaito still also knows that Shuichi is liable to put all of the pressure on himself and carry the burden alone. So Kaito’s still telling him not to do that, albeit in a very different way to how he was back in chapter 4. Back then, Kaito was always insisting that he was there for Shuichi, that he’d carry the burden for him – but now it seems Kaito’s finally accepted that it doesn’t necessarily have to be him, so long as Shuichi has someone and isn’t alone.

This definitely also has a lot to do with the fact that Kaito is dying and knows he’s not going to be able to support Shuichi any more before long, no matter how much he might want to. In fact, this particular sentiment is something Kaito’s going to repeat to Shuichi in the actual final conversation they have, suggesting that this is the last thing he wants to make sure Shuichi hears from him and remembers going forward.

Which implies that, even during this conversation… Kaito isn’t sure if he’s ever going to get another chance to talk to Shuichi. He’s worried that he might not make it until next morning when they’re coming to rescue him. His illness is so bad by this point that it’s a real possibility to him that it’s going to kill him before then.

And yet, that’s only half as long as he actually manages to make it from here. Kaito is so much stronger than he thinks he is – just about exactly as strong as everyone else thinks he is, in fact. The outward stubbornness and determination he gives off is really not so much of a lie, even if he doesn’t believe it himself.

(The belief that he’s dying this quickly might also be part of why Kaito insisted he was going to carry out a plan of his own when he doesn’t need to – because he’d never be able to bear the alternative of just sitting and helplessly waiting to die. He needs to feel like he’s doing something and have something to focus on and distract himself, no matter how pointless he knows it really is.)

Kaito: “I believe in you. So I’m leaving the rest to you for now.”

Kaito says this in a surprisingly subdued way for his usual standards, which actually just makes it come across as even more earnest and genuine and adorable. A lot of what he’s said here has been an overly-cheerful façade to help Shuichi stay positive – but Kaito’s belief in Shuichi is 100% the truth.

Kaito: “You got it, Shuichi?”

And then he puts a bit more enthusiasm into his last sentence here, to keep pushing Shuichi forward.

Shuichi: (Kaito… thank you. Thank you for being my friend.)

This is adorable (they are FRIENDS did you know), but it seems to be saying that Shuichi is simply grateful for Kaito generally being his friend ever since they started training. That’s not actually what this line is supposed to be about – in Japanese, Shuichi thinks, “Thank you for calling me by that name again” and is therefore specifically being grateful and relieved that they’ve made up after their falling-out. That’s even more adorable and goes to show just how hurt Shuichi was by the thought that their friendship had been broken (even though it never had; they were just both being idiots). This line could still have got that sense across in English despite the name thing not being a thing – something like, “I’m really glad we’re still friends,” perhaps.

Kaito: “Alright, now get going before Kokichi comes back!”

Shuichi: “You’re right. See you tomorrow, Kaito.”

Yes. Yes, you will see each other tomorrow, even though both of you are going to be afraid that won’t be the case at one point or another between now and then.

(Note how it’s Shuichi who says see you tomorrow, not Kaito. Right now Kaito is the one who doesn’t quite fully believe that’ll happen.)

Shuichi: (After leaving Kaito with a smile, I returned to my room.)

Awww he’s so happy that they are still friends and that Kaito seems to be doing okay (but he totally isn’t, the selfless idiot).

Meanwhile please imagine Kaito turning away from the window and just kind of collapsing against the wall as he’s hit with the full weight of the fact that this might have been the last time he’ll ever see his best friend.

(It still would have helped to get to talk to him here, though. Up until now, Kaito must have been afraid he might never see Shuichi again at all and wouldn’t even get the chance to make up with him – that he’d die while still not quite even being Shuichi’s friend. That would have been so, so much worse.)

Shuichi: “We go at dawn.” (I won’t hesitate anymore. Kaito has taught me…)

Kaito has taught Shuichi so much! If only Kaito realised that.

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#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #ndrv3 #chapter 5 #daily life #commentary

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aroworlds · 6 years

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Seeing the character I identify with having his canon ship fic event hurts me so much , to me it’s not a headcanon , he’s supposed to be Aro ace and the writers caved to shipper demand. To me watching these shipppers do a fiction secret Santa centered on that forced canon ship hurts me so badly but I feel obligated to follow it because I want friends x.x but they all hate me

I’m feeling that this is Riverdale, and I’ll talk as though it is Riverdale, but honestly, much of it applies to most well-known aro-ace/aro-ace-coded characters in fandom.

Jughead in particular is a well-established character, and long before the word was in regular use in LGBTQIA+ spaces, Jughead was shown as aro-ace–in fact, as a romance-repulsed aro-ace. He’s a rare aro-spec who is not evil, a character to whom we can point in explaining our lives to alloromantics and non-a-specs. There are indie writers providing aro-spec representation (let me promote our aro-spec artist profiles again) but they don’t have the accompanying fandom experience or the ability to easily demonstrate our lives to the mainstream.

Aro-ace Jughead isn’t headcanon; I see it as coding, in the earlier comics, at least. In the case of the modern run, I see it as asexual-without-use-of-the-split-attraction-model or aro-ace written by authors who don’t know enough about a-spec identities. I adore the way Jughead is treated as unquestioningly aro-ace in aro-spec spaces, because it is so obvious we don’t even have to talk about it. There’s no “is it headcanon, is it canon” discussion here; he’s aro-ace. It’s jarring to move out of the aro-spec community and realise that what is obvious to us isn’t obvious to everyone else, that suddenly our evident truth needs to be defended, and I think that adds to our distress.

I’m sure you realise that by reducing aro-ace Jughead to headcanon status, anyone who wants to ship him now has free rein to do so without any nagging guilt. (In other words, you can proclaim your social justice virtues all you like and still get your ship on.) I suspect there’s–consciously or unconsciously–a motivation to toss aside erasure by ignoring the fact that in the case of Jughead, asexual clearly means aro-ace. If it’s not said in flashing capital letters, even though it is said in the comic canon and clearly enough that aro-specs don’t waste time debating it, then people claim “headcanon” and do as they like because amatonormativity and aro erasure.

(The comic canon is not a rarely-discussed obscurity lost to the mists of time. It should be kept in mind in fandom conversations about an adaptation that has engaged in such flagrant erasure in Jughead’s character.)

Shipping culture, in a world where shipping is near-universally read as romance, is amatonormativity in a nutshell, and that unaddressed amatonormativity means it doesn’t and can’t respect aro characters and coding the way it has begun to respect other LGBTQIA+ identities. To see the show and fandom completely ignore the aro-ace is a hurtful and upsetting thing. You should feel hurt and upset–please don’t think you’re overreacting. The walls of aro-spec and aro-ace spaces are paved with people making angry, frustrated comments–honestly, it’d be easier to find an aro-spec blog where someone hasn’t raged over Riverdale.

I know it’s hard to feel so divorced from a character and fandom you love, to feel like you have to endure the erasure in a given space just to keep on having a community and connection. In the past, I’ve decided to bite my lip and endure, and at the time it felt like something I can and should do because friends, but it just poisons my relationship with the other fans, with the fandom and with the source material. The resentment is there, bubbling away under everything, and before too long it devours your joy for a character you love.

I heartily recommend backing away from this ship event. Blacklist any and every ship-related tag. Unfollow anyone who doesn’t tag and block anyone who will toss ship-related content into general tags. Unfollow people who post about the event and don’t tag it, because you should blacklist event-related tags as well. Do not stint on the block button if you can apply it! Do whatever you can to make sure your online spaces are not shoving ship-related fanworks and meta into your face, and do it unashamedly and unapologetically. Don’t put up explanatory posts or tell people why you’re doing it–just quietly do it and go about the rest of your life.

This relates to my comment about worth in followers from the other day, but when I consider the things that make me happier, one friend who understands me and listens to me is worth a whole lot more than ten friends who erase the aromanticism of a character who represents me in the name of their favourite ship (and in doing erase me). Western society in particular tells a narrative that more friends and more followers gives us value, which encourages the idea that we need to put up with awful just to have those kinds of interactions. But you don’t. You just don’t.

I’ll posit that the idea that the narrative of putting up with erasure and dismissal just to have more friends (or be connected to family, because this narrative is toxic in many directions) forces us to permit said erasure and dismissal. It means people can get away with hurting you. Why give them space? Why stand there being a willing audience? If you can’t stop them–and most of us can’t, because that’s the nature of lacking privilege–shut the door and go back to building spaces where they can’t talk. Go back to building spaces where you can have discussions and create the stories you need and deserve to see.

I’m not going to say that this sort of community building is easy. It isn’t. You’ve got to spend time and spoons on carving your own path, and it isn’t at all right that we have to build these spaces from the floor up with only a few people to help us while everyone else gets to tell stories around a roaring fire in a mansion over the road. Those people who walk past, see what you’re doing and stop to pass up the nails while you hammer, though? They’re the friends you want and they’re the friends that are worth having. Even if there’s fewer of them.

Don’t follow this fic event. Don’t engage with it. Shut it right out of your life. You don’t need this constant erasure. You don’t need the constant pressure of feeling you have to fight it or that you can’t fight it. You deserve so much better, so please, value your right to exist in a world where aro and aro-ace aren’t dismissed as headcanon and do everything you can to get this event blacklisted and unfollowed.

I’m going to finish by asking: can folks recommend me some deliciously aro-ace celebratory fanworks for Jughead and Riverdale? (Or Shadowhunters with regards Raphael, while we’re on the subject of aro erasure in the adaptation?) I refuse to believe annoyed fandom aro-specs haven’t stepped up here, and I think we can all use a dose of good media that does what the writers and the larger fandom won’t.

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