#also yeah it took me over 40 hrs to do this

[princesscatstronaut]

at the office but need something to hug

at the office. its nice to have a clean desk. although someone took/disposed of the amazon box I was using as a laptop riser which is a bummer. I still have a nice big second monitor though, so its ok. I had tea (raspberry hibiscus) and lunch (easy mac) and I guess I need to get to work now, so I'll have something to show for lab meeting in 2 hours. I started the day with resetting all of my autopay stuff since my old account got hacked. I hope I got everything. all of the alerts about things trying to pull from the old account are getting old. I think I got them all.

I wish I had a stuffed animal to hug. I think in my next trip to the office I'll bring one. maybe the sea bunny. or the llama. either way it would be nice to have something when I'm coding bc sometimes its scary and I need to soothe child-me from the fear of being completely wrong.

I really just don't want to do anything. I had to email old-boss to tell him that the draft won't be ready, and had to email the dept admin too, since she asked. and those are not fun emails to write. old-boss doesn't seem to care, which is fine. but I feel like garbage bc I feel like everyone is saying "why aren't you done yet?" but like, you try working on something that gives you panic attacks while also working 40 hrs a week in a slightly different field where you have to learn new things all the time. like its not easy. I'm not having fun. well on the weekends I do, bc that's when I get to play video games and not feel bad about it. I still play during the week (bc stardew valley) but I feel much more shitty about myself then.

I got a lot of positive feedback about my work over the thanksgiving break and it was so nice. I wasn't even trying that hard. there's so much I could do with my time and instead I listen to Ethersea again and play stardew valley. at least I haven't started a new stardew valley game, that tends to be the indication that I'm not ok. this was just continuing the one I have going.

in Ethersea, Devo/Travis' voice breaks my heart. his character is someone who was raised by people who constantly manipulated him and so he is constantly attacking others and rarely trusts and I'm just here like.. yeah, same. and from his other characters, you can kind of tell that Devo is a different thing. also: it shows you can be terrifying with a french accent lol.

I've been listening to The Adventure Zone bc its a family playing a game where anything is possible. you literally fight dragons. I don't think my parents would ever do that. the fact that their dad plays and tries really hard to be the character he's playing and I love that. I wish my parents cared that much about something I wanted to do.

Today is the observation of St. Nicholas Day (in my family we call it Belsnickel Day, which is just the old german way to say it), which is a holiday lots of european countries celebrate, where on Dec 5th you put your shoes out and the next morning (today) you get a little treat if you are good, or a bundle of sticks if you're not (from krampus). my godmother has always gotten me Belsnickel day presents, even though I'm 42 now. she's so kind to me.

ever since I emailed mom about not wanting to come home for xmas (bc the aunt's house we do it at, I don't feel comfortable around them), I haven't heard anything at all from her. which is weird. in my email I had offered to host them on xmas day (family xmas is always on xmas eve), but since I haven't heard anything, I likely won't be prepared for that. and I think mom might be mad at me. not that we talk all the time, but it does seem like she would've responded by now. another possibility is that gramma isn't doing well (she's 100 so needless to say, her health is precarious and mom is her primary caretaker outside of the nursing home).

but yeah. I feel weird. I feel empty. I feel like garbage that I couldn't get my thesis edits done before this deadline. honestly it took so much to get myself to complete the analysis (which is mostly done, just a little more to do), that it took days to recover after each time I was able to engage with it. and, as my therapist keeps reminding me, I am working full-time now. but I guess I still expected I could do it faster than this. I will get it done. hopefully over the winter break I'll have more time. there's a lot I want to do then. new-boss has this really great boundary that she told our clients not to expect much from us after mid-Dec. all my years in academia are screaming at that lol but I'm so thankful that she has that sort of view point. I will learn a lot about having boundaries professionally from her, I think.

[j-ungkooky]

Temptation (Taehyung)

Ceo Au! Suggestive smut (he’s crouched under ur desk and :)) (smut will be in future chapters) Angst (later) 3181 Words Chapter 1. 

“Good morning.” Taehyung simply greeted before disappearing into his office. 

It was enough to get all the women in the lobby immediately shooting each other knowing glances because not only was Taehyung the company’s CEO, but he was a very handsome one at that too. His polite demeanour and respectful nature only contributed to his desirability. Due to everyone’s unanimous acknowledgement of Taehyung’s appeal, there seemed to always be some sort of competition for his attention. Whether it was to drop something off for him in his office or offer him leftover donuts, his deep voice thanking you followed by his infectious smile was all worth it. Taehyung being new to the company only made the competition over him more fierce. He had taken over the position from a now old and retired gentleman and because he had no idea what the personality of each individual in the office was truly like, it was all fair game. 

She definitely would’ve been lying if she said she didn’t have some sort of crush on Taehyung but it was all physical and surface level. He was her boss after all and she only saw him for a few minutes each day. They’ve barely exchanged more than a handful of words to each other in the month of his takeover.  

“Jesus...did you see his arms? They’re suffocating in that button up.” Jisoo, her colleague commented. 

“You’re drooling,” she teased, “besides, you should be worrying about your meeting today and not about whether or not blood is circulating through his arms.” 

Jisoo scoffed and pushed herself off of the reception desk. 

“Don’t remind me,” Jisoo groaned, “it doesn’t help that Taehyung’s going to be sitting in for that meeting too. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through anything without puking.” 

The two of them continued to talk and catch each other up on what they did over the weekend before Jisoo eventually had to go back to her desk. She watched as her colleague walked away and felt a twinge of jealousy within herself. For someone like Jisoo to get nervous despite being pretty, charismatic and the office favourite was a slap to her self esteem. Jisoo also held a high position within the HR department while she was just a measly receptionist. She definitely wasn’t going to stay in this position forever but the job paid well and would suffice for now. 

As the clock inched closer to everyone’s starting time, the lobby began clearing up as people went to their respected department. After a few minutes, she was left alone to man the front all by herself. She stared at the closed office doors surrounding her and felt another pang of envy in her heart knowing that people behind those doors were doing far more important work than her. Her days consisted of sorting through mail, sending emails, transferring calls and light house duties. She tried to convince herself that it wasn’t all bad because at least she could surf the internet whenever she wanted without anyone monitoring her. Her eyes traveled towards Taehyung’s door and she wondered how he was adjusting to everything before an email notification needed her attention. 

With it being Monday and the meeting Jisoo was talking about earlier being held today, it was quite busy. She usually had an hour of free time before her lunch break but the emails had been nonstop. People kept revising their forms and asking her to print out multiple copies of the revised papers to the point where the printer just stopped working altogether for a scary moment. With it being so busy, she decided to stay at her desk for lunch today. She was buried so deep in her computer work that Taehyung’s presence had gone unnoticed. He needed a break from staring at his screen all day and decided to go explore the office. In the month that Taehyung transferred over, he had no time to go around introducing himself or making himself familiar with the space. His decision to finally become accustomed to his environment brought him in front of her desk. The unusually loud crinkling from the untouched candy jar she left out for everyone broke her focus. She looked up to see her boss struggling with how small the jar was. 

“Do...do you need help?” she finally asked.

Up close, Taehyung’s visuals had her feeling shy and flustered like a high school girl sitting next to their crush. Taehyung seemed just as surprised to hear her voice as his movements came to a halt and he pulled his hand out of the candy jar sheepishly. 

“Sorry,” he apologized while rubbing the back of his neck, “I realized I must’ve looked really stupid.” 

She waved his doubts away and took the jar from him. She tried her very best to seem unfazed and collected but the red tint in her cheeks and her inability to stop smiling so wide probably gave her away.

“The um...” Taehyung cleared his throat before continuing, “the watermelon flavour please.” 

After a few seconds of sifting through the numerous options, she found the one he wanted. Taehyung opened his hand and she almost laughed at how tiny the candy looked in his gigantic palm. Her amusement didn’t stop at his physicality but shifted towards his entire personality. When she first met Taehyung, she was beyond intimidated. She couldn’t look at him for too long without feeling like he was looking right through her. Taehyung carried himself with an air of confidence and always had an answer for everyone, as expected of a competent CEO. She wasn’t nervous around him because he was scary but because his presence was so large and full while she was so small compared to him. But having him stand before her enjoying a piece of watermelon flavoured candy with an innocent smile on his face was just so...unexpected. 

“Is this your lunch break?” Taehyung asked noticing her untouched sandwich sitting beside her keyboard. 

She looked where he was and let out a forced laugh at her pathetic set up.

“Yeah I didn’t have time to properly take a break today.” she explained. 

The reason she was eating at her desk suddenly occurred to her and her eyes traveled over to her inbox which was now at double digits. With only an hour before the big meeting today, she was already behind despite only talking to Taehyung for five minutes. 

“Sorry Taehyung I have to get back to work,” she sighed running a hand through her hair, “is there anything else I can do for you?” she asked looking at him for a quick second before going back to her monitor. 

Taehyung watched as she worked and wondered if this was the kind of work culture he wanted to uphold. He didn’t like that she didn’t take a break and was going unnoticed for her extra work. Perhaps he’d talk to HR and accounting later to avoid situations like this from happening again. Taehyung drummed his fingers against his her desk and sucked his teeth. 

“Nope, nothing else you can do for me!” he smiled, “Thank you for your hard work but please make sure to take a proper break next time. I’m going to the coffee room to take a breather myself.” 

She looked up to thank him out of courtesy and he surprised her by thanking her once more and using her name. He grabbed a few more pieces of candy before going on his way. 

“Hey Taehyung!” she called, leaning over her desk. 

He turned his head with a raised brow. 

“If you’re still going to the break room, it’s the other way.” she informed him. 

Taehyung turned around on his heel and began walking hastily in the correct direction with bashful smile on his face. 

“What an interesting guy.” she thought while laughing to herself. 

________________________________________________

The hour leading up to the big meeting didn’t get any easier as her inbox continued to flood with people requesting numerous things from her. She was finally able to breathe when the meeting started and people stopped demanding her assistance. Jisoo had come up earlier asking for words of encouragement before Taehyung emerged from his office. She watched in awe at how effortless Jisoo made it look cracking jokes with Taehyung and drawing out deep belly laughs from him. She cringed at how awkward she must’ve been with Taehyung earlier and refused to look at him when he walked by; not that he would’ve noticed anyway as Jisoo had his full attention. She made an early new years resolution to be more like her follow coworker in the coming year. 

Despite the craziness earlier, she was already bored browsing through the same pages for the past 40 minutes. The meeting seemed to be going well as no one left the boardroom to ask her to do anything. With her sanity hanging onto Pinterest boards, she welcomed the delivery man with a gigantic smile and lively greeting. 

“Big one today.” the delivery man commented while slapping the stacks of boxes on his trolley. 

She took a look around her desk to see if there was any available space to put the packages but to no avail. 

“You can just leave them there.” she said and began rolling up her sleeves. 

“You sure?” the man asked, “these are quite heavy.” 

She reassured him by telling him that she deals with deliveries every Monday and that this was no different to prior ones. She bid the delivery man farewell as he disappeared through the elevator doors with the same concerned face that never left during their entire interaction. 

"Finally something to do.” she thought and with that, began working on the boxes. 

Taehyung struggled to keep his eyes open during the meeting. He opted to rest his chin on his hand and pretend to take notes when in reality, his eyes were closed and he was drawing random shapes in his notepad. From the moment he received emails outlining what the meeting entailed, he knew it meant absolutely nothing to him. He didn’t actually know why he agreed to be a part of it but he was definitely regretting his decision to do so. Taehyung had a long list of tasks to fulfill especially since he was only a month onboard this company and this meeting was wasting his time. Wanting to make a good impression on his employees, Taehyung tried really hard to pay attention but he simply could not trick himself into caring as the minutes ticked by. He racked his brain on ways to escape and took a deep breath before pursuing his liberation. Taehyung looked at his apple watch and feigned surprise at a non-existent message on it. 

“Everyone, I apologize for leaving so suddenly but there is an issue I have to attend.” he announced while getting up from his seat. 

He uttered a few more apologies before leaving the boardroom and closing the door. It wasn’t until he was out in the hallway by himself that he suddenly felt incredibly foolish over how easy it was to leave. He sat in that godforsaken room for almost an hour thinking of ways to flee and that was all it took. Pinching the bridge of his nose and inhaling a sharp breath, Taehyung made his way back to his office. 

“Holy shit! What is in here?!” she groaned struggling to lift more boxes from within the delivery boxes.  

In the span of an hour, she was still working on one of the four boxes delivered. Perhaps she should’ve listened to the delivery man earlier but her pride got in the way. It didn’t help that the skirt she was wearing today was a lot shorter than her usual choices but all her work clothes were currently in the wash as she simply could not be bothered to do laundry over the weekend. Every time she lifted something up, she had to immediately place the item somewhere so she could pull her skirt down or she’d accidentally flash the office. 

She attempted to set one box down on her desk and winced when it slipped from her fingers and landed on the floor with a heavy thud. She waited a few seconds to see if anyone came out to figure out what the noise was and breathed a sigh of relief when the office remained undisturbed.

“Better than aimlessly scrolling through Instagram.” she thought before bending over to pick up anything that fell out. 

“Do you need help?” a familiar voice called out. 

She jumped in her shoes and proceeded to drop everything from her arms. She snapped her body up to see who it was and surprising her again for the second time today, Taehyung was standing in front of her desk with a curious look on his face. 

“I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that,” he apologized profusely as he made his way behind her desk, “please let me help you!” 

It took her a beat to register her appearance and she quickly pulled down her skirt that was riding up way too close to her crotch. She smoothed her hair before attempting to stop Taehyung from doing anything. 

“No, no don’t worry!” she laughed as he held up the items out of her reach. 

“If you want it then you have to grow a whole foot taller.” he teased. 

“You have a meeting to go back to.” she reminded him to which he scrunched his face in disapproval. 

Just as she was slowly convincing Taehyung to go back, his face turned from playfulness to dread when the boardroom door opened. 

“Let me ask Taehyung to join the meeting again.” a colleague’s voice could be heard before their footsteps approached the lobby.  

She was about to tell Taehyung that he was needed when he ducked under her already cramped desk and put a finger to his lips as his eyes pleaded for her to keep quiet. Before she could process what was happening, Jin, her coworker appeared. 

“Hey! Is Taehyung around?” Jin asked as he marvelled at all the boxes spread out in the lobby. 

She stood still trying to calm her nerves. On one hand, she was fighting against the biggest laughing fit of her life and on the other, Taehyung her boss, expected her to cover for him as he cowered under her desk. 

“He is...” she glanced down at Taehyung who was now shaking his head and making a cutting motion with his hand, “I-I haven’t seen him actually! Is he not in the meeting?” 

Jin cocked a brow and leaned over her desk trying to see what she was looking at. 

“Is everything okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.” he laughed. 

She forced a smile and shook her head, “Oh yeah I’m fine! My computer’s been acting up all day and it’s getting a little worrisome with everything going on.” 

Taehyung was impressed by how quick she was on her feet and slowly breathed a sigh of relief until he heard Jin offer to come around and take a look at her computer for her. This whole situation was already absolutely ridiculous and humiliating until she sat down on her chair to click a few keys and feign relief that her computer was magically working again. The issue was no longer the fact that Taehyung was hiding from his employees but that he was contorted under her desk that was way too small for his large frame, now with her cunt inches away from his face. 

“Well now that you’re here anyways, I was hoping you could help me with some paper work and scheduling.” Jin said. 

“S-sure.” she managed to answer despite her throat drying up and the adrenaline slowly making its way through her veins. 

She could feel every time Taehyung breathed because his exhales would land right against her inner thigh and when he sighed, she could feel it right against her sex. Her thong provided little to no protection against any sensation caused by him. She tried to clamp her thighs together but her knees would hit Taehyung’s face in the process causing her to open her legs again as a reflex and there was no more room for Taehyung to back up against.

“Are you okay?” Jin asked. 

She could only nod as a response; she did not trust her voice to come out stable and natural. The battle she was fighting up there was mutually shared by Taehyung underneath. His brain was going a million miles a minute as he tried to figure out how to talk to her after this. How was he going to make this all alright and normal? He could offer her a raise and an extra week of paid vacation? Maybe he could fire her but he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if he did that. Taehyung was beating himself up for putting her in a situation like this and began to mentally prep for a lawsuit. While trying to figure out a solution, Taehyung forgot that he was just a man with a simple brain and another mental battle was underway as he tried very hard to avoid gazing somewhere he really shouldn’t. As she kept squirming, her skirt kept rising and Taehyung couldn’t help but steal a glance at the growing wetness appearing on her undergarment. The growing arousal within Taehyung’s pants made him feel more cramped and with his legs were beginning to fall asleep, he began to pray to any god out there for some sort of divine intervention. 

“Fuck fuck fuck...oh my fucking god,” he chanted in his head, “Jin shut the fuck up already.”

A gasp escaping from her lips followed by her suddenly jolting startled Jin and he gave her an odd look. Taehyung had completely lost feeling in both of his feet and he fell over grabbing onto her thighs for support. His hands felt so warm against her skin and their sheer size grabbed a lot more area than anticipated. Taehyung fought back a groan when the bottom of her skirt had flipped over and her entire lower region was in full view. 

“Hey Jin, is it okay if we do this over email? I’m suddenly not feeling so well.” she was able to muster out. 

It didn’t take a doctor to know something was wrong from her complexion turning completely pale. 

“Yeah I think you should go home for the rest of the day. You really don’t look well,” Jin acknowledged with furrowed brows, “I’ll just catch Taehyung up with the meeting myself.” 

The minute she heard the boardroom doors close, she pushed her chair back so forcefully that it crashed into the wall behind her. She got up and immediately pulled her skirt down and made a beeline towards the washroom without saying a single word to Taehyung. Taehyung on the other hand stayed fixed under her desk with his eyes bulged and his mouth ajar. There was absolutely no positive outcome for what he had caused. 

#bts smut #taehyung smut #bts scenarios #bts oneshot #taehyung oneshot #bts #bangtan #bts ceo

[percywinchester27]

A lot like ‘Us’ (Part-40)

Word count: 4.8K

Pairing: Sam X Reader AU

Warnings: Fluff, angst, feels, sickness

Series Summary: Y/N Y/L/N is eager and honestly, still in awe that she managed to get herself an acceptance from Stanford Law School. On the face of it, her life seems as put together, mysterious and independent as one might hope for. On the insides, she carries the burden of past that haunts her till date. Seemingly, she’d left it all behind; that is until she sets foot in the class of the Law School’s youngest, most promising professor.

A/N: The story employs two different timelines. The present timeline for the story takes place in 2014. Please let me know what you guys think :)

Beta: @deanssweetheart23​​. You’re a Rockstar <3

A lot like ‘Us’ masterlist

No one talked to you today, the whispers though, had escalated. No one was bothering to keep it quiet either. Not just your classmates, even the faculty kept giving you looks, ranging from distrust to pity. Professor Whitman, who never cared much about anything, took a whole minute to find you in the class and give you a once over, like he was seeing you for the first time- Sam Winchester’s flighty wife, back to ruin his life again.

The judgement you could take. The pity was painful. What did they see? A girl who couldn’t appreciate a good man? Or as much as you hated to think of it that way- a girl who couldn't be a mother again.

It came as a surprise when Jody called you to her office after the class. When you followed her in, she closed the door behind and unexpectedly pulled you into a hug.

“I’m sorry about all of this, Y/N,” she said. “It’s awful.”

You waited for her to let go of you then asked, “How much trouble is Sam in?”

Jody pursed her lips. “I want to say, ‘not much’ but we’ll only know on Monday, I suppose.”

“Are you part of the enquiry committee?”

She nodded. “All of the freshman faculty panel is on there. You have nothing to worry about, Y/N. Your grades are impeccable. You can’t possibly be sleeping with all of us.”

“I’m not even sleeping with Sam!” You let out, frustrated. “And I’m more worried about what happens to him.” You were a student. The most they could do is sack you from the students committee and bump down your grades. 

Jody regarded you for a moment. “The two of you are so similar. It’s uncanny.”

She sighed. “I’ll be upfront with you, Y/N. As much as I’ve tried to shake them, Sam’s priorities are set. Even absent, you were very high up on that list. With you in front of him, there are very few things Sam wouldn’t give up for you.”

You already knew that. But was it right to let him make all those sacrifices for someone as undeserving as you?

The thought plagued you after you’d left Jody’s office, just as it had plagued you for the past two days. Outside, you ran into Madison.

“Oh, I was looking for you,” she said. “Sorry, I missed the first few lectures, but I have news for you. One good, one bad.”

“Bad one first,” you said, apprehensive. 

Madison made a face. “Starting the day after tomorrow, I have no place to live.”

“What? Didn’t you have a lease for the whole year?”

“Lacey is screwing someone, who knows someone else who knows the hostel director. And, well, long story short, my lease got prematurely terminated.”

Anger flared inside you again. This was happening to Madison only because she was staunchly standing with you. 

“I want you to come house hunting with me. My brother’s agreed to help me out with the money. So, I’m good to go.”

The idea popped up in your head immediately. “Why don’t you move in with me?” 

Her eyebrows knitted together. “Meg?”

“Meg’s almost moved out next door. I was supposed to put out an add for a roommate but with everything that’s going on…” Convincing Meg to continue with the move had been very difficult. She thought it was some sort of betrayal to leave you by yourself in all this mess. Cas supported her on that. However, everyone was camping in your living room anyway. 

Ultimately, you had to put your foot down and tell her to move her ass out. Your life might always remain a tragedy. It shouldn’t pause her or Cas’s life. She had still slept on your sofa last night.

“You’re serious?” Madison was trying her best to contain her excitement.

“As a heart attack.”

She let out a loud squeal and tackled you. “This is the best thing ever. We’ll be roomies!”

“Not if you call me that.”

Madison’s laughter rang out in your ears. “Now you’ve already offered. You can’t take it back, roomie.”

“Wait, what’s the good news?” 

Her face split into a huge grin. “I heard from the HR at Acton Gris. They won’t hire me as an intern. But she asked me to apply for the position of summer associate next year. She said my chances looked great.”

“That’s wonderful!”

“Yes! I’m thinking of applying for an on campus job this year.”

Madison was sincere, smart and she worked very hard. No wonder good things were in store for her. “Let me talk to Molly today. See if she has some inside intel on vacancies.”

“You’d do that?” Madison couldn’t stop beaming and you smiled right along with her. “The world is a much better place with you in it.”

Not everyone thought that. Following the pattern of the past few days, Rebecca decided to show her face again after the lecture. You had been expecting her at this point. Maybe she couldn’t sleep without venting off her frustration on you. As usual, she had Lacey next to her, who really had gone fully darkside.

“Missing your Professor?”

You saw Madison start, but Rebecca put in. “Oh, stop being her Lapdog, Maxwell. You don’t have to rollover each time she blows a whistle.”

“It’s alright, Maddie,” you said in a calm voice. “As it happens, I do miss him very much.”

“I hope at least the sex was worth it,” said Lacey.

You grinned at her. “Mind-blowing, actually. I remember this one time, I was screaming his name for literal hours. God, the things that man can do. It’s in-credi-ble.” You drew out the last word with a relish.

Lacey’s jaw dropped.

Rebecca recovered quickly. “Christ! You’re shameless. That man’s married with a son. Have you got no shame at all?”

“Weren’t you the one making out with Sam at Maddie’s birthday party in the bar restroom?” You shot back. “I remember you described the bit about feeling his abs in extreme details. He wore his wedding ring around his neck. So how are you not shameless?”

Rebecca’s face reddened in an instant. “What… how…?”

“Doesn’t feel so good when the finger is pointed at you. Right, Rebecca? When you’re the one being put on a spot and your character is being brought into question. It was okay for you to make out with a professor. Why are the rules so different for me?”

“I- I was drunk that night. And I never slept with him!”

“Don’t you dare paint him in that light. As if you were some drunk woman he took advantage of in a toilet cubicle.” You spat. “You’re so desperate that you don’t think twice about lying over something so demeaning. You didn’t touch Sam because at 2 in the night, he wasn’t even there in that bar. So shut that bullshit.”

There was a crowd gathered around you now, and she didn’t like her words coming back to bite her.

“How do you know where Sam was that night?” Rebecca questioned, clearly baffled and out of her element, but trying to salvage the situation and save face.

You rolled your eyes. “We’re having an affair, remember? Keep up, Rebecca. You filed that complaint. Also, don’t worry about his wife, really. She totally doesn’t mind.” You winked.

The murmur around you was starting to intensify. You didn’t know how long it would be before the actual story came out. Or if it ever would come out. Neither did you care. You didn’t owe an explanation to any of these people. 

Rebecca breathed out harshly, and spoke through her teeth, contempt dripping in each word. “You’re disgusting. That child of his-”

“Don’t. Don’t utter a word about that boy,” you hissed, the anger finally burning through. “You’ve done enough harm to Sam’s reputation. But I swear to God, Rebecca, you’ll live to regret it if you so much as dare to think about Max, you deplorable excuse of a living thing.”

The warning was so raw, she flinched back from you as you stormed out. 

Madison did not follow you to the library. She knew when you wanted to be left alone. Attacking Sam was one thing, but you really did want to rip Rebecca’s throat for wanting to bring Max in the middle of it. The fierce protectiveness you felt for him was like nothing else you had experienced before. 

Throughout the following hour, you kept glancing at the door of the library, expecting Max to walk in. Sam had said he would visit. 

Maybe you would ask him to read out to you today. If anything, that could fix your mood.

“Umm… Y/N?”

You looked up to see Molly standing over you. 

“Hey. I didn’t see you there.”

She shuffled from one foot to the other looking at you awkwardly.

You squared your shoulders, realising what she might’ve heard. “Anything you want?”

“I- I wanted to say sorry.”

That brought you up short. “Why?”

Molly ran her fingers through her red hair. “I didn’t know you were… you know… Sam’s wife, and I said horrible stuff to you the other day.”

It hadn’t actually been that horrible. 

“I’d heard the rumours but I swear I didn’t believe a word. Then I ran into Chase Lincoln yesterday. He told me.”

“Everything?”

Molly nodded sadly. “It was wrong of me to make assumptions, Y/N. What happened in Sam’s life was none of my business. And for the reason you left to be so horrifying? I could have never imagined. I’m really, really sorry. I don’t know how to apologize.”

“Stop saying sorry,” you said at once. “I know you’ve always meant well for Sam and for me, Molly. Everyone likes to gossip. It’s no big deal. You didn’t hurt or offend me.”

“There must be something I can do, novia.”

“Never bring it up again. Please. Let’s just forget that conversation happened.”

You saw her eyes start to fill up. “Take the rest of the week off, yeah? Come back Monday.”

“You’re low on staff already.” You did not want anyone’s sympathy.

“I’m not doing this for you,” she said. “Spend the weekend with Sam. He’ll need a distraction more than ever before that hearing on Monday. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Molly disappeared into the librarian’s room before the waterworks started. She didn’t want you to see her tear up so you didn’t follow her in, continuing with your sideways glances at the door. The sharp ring of your phone made you jump.

“Hello?” You answered the unknown number

“Y/N? It’s Alex. Sam left me your number in case of emergencies.” She sounded frantic.

“Is everything okay?” 

“Can you please come over? Max is really sick and… he’s… he’s asking for you.”

*****

Instead of knocking on the door, you straight up punched the security key and barged into the house.

“Max? Alex?”

“Up here!” You heard Alex’s voice. Taking two steps at a time you made it to Max’s room. Your chest contracted, seeing Max in the bed. He was curled up on his side, cheeks wet, face puffy from crying. 

Alex was sitting on a chair next to him, distressed.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, rushing to Max’s side and placing a hand against his forehead. He was burning up.

“I don’t know,” said Alex, “He was fine when I picked him up from school. He said he was feeling sick half an hour ago and now he’s running a fever. I tried calling his usual doctor but it says the number doesn’t exist anymore. He’s been crying and calling out for Sam and... you.”

“Did you try Sam?”

“He’s not reachable.”

“Max, honey, what’s wrong?” You asked as gently as you could. “Do you hurt somewhere?”

He opened his eyes and your heart lurched at the tears in them. “Stomach. My stomach hurts. I want dad.”

“Sam will be home at night. He’ll be with you.” You turned to Alex. “Is he allergic to something?” 

“Not that I know of.”

You were sure he hadn’t had outside food in at least a week, so food poisoning was out.

“Does your body hurt, baby?”

Max nodded slowly, drawing into himself. “And my head.”

“Alex, could you please find the first aid box and get me a thermometer?”

She scampered off to find it, relieved to have someone else take charge of the situation. Keeping one hand on Max’s forehead, you reached out for your purse with the other and pulled out your phone. Thankfully, the number was on the speed dial. He picked up the phone on the second ring.

“Cas, where are you?”

“At the hospital. Everything okay?”

“No. Max is running a high fever. I’d guess around 101. He says he’s feeling sick, and has stomach and body ache.”

There was a pause, then Cas said. “Can you drive him to the hospital? Bring him directly to the paeds ward on the 7th floor. I’ll see you there in fifteen minutes.”

Alex was back with the thermometer. 102.3. Thankfully, she had a license and Claire’s car was in their driveway. You asked her to bring it out front.

After she left, you gently coaxed Max into a sitting position, he looked drowsy and was still sniffling a little. “Honey, listen to me. You’re going to have to deal with a little inconvenience, okay? We’re going to drive you to the hospital very quickly.”

“Hospital?” He mumbled. eyes filling up again. 

“It’s just Cas there,” you soothed him. “You remember Cas, right? We all played jenga together.”

Max opened his mouth to say something, instead his eyes widened and threw up over the front of your sweater and into your lap. 

He started crying immediately. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Your eyes filled up. “It’s okay, baby. It’s no big deal.” You removed the puke covered sweater and used to wipe away the vomit stuck to your jeans. “See, it’s all gone. No need to worry at all.”

The retching had left him weak and shivering. 

“Just stay put a minute.” You hurriedly tossed your sweater in the hamper by the door, and pulled on one of Sam’s overlarge shirts over your T-shirt. Once back, you grabbed Max’s grey blanket and wrapped it around him. Slinging your purse around your torso, you lifted him in your arms and carried into the car that was already waiting at the curb. You held Max close to your chest in the backseat, whispering soft reassurances in his ears. 

Just as Alex pulled up in front of the hospital, Max threw up on you again. It made him cry harder. You realised it was not just humiliating for him, he was missing his dad terribly. 

“Max, honey, it’s totally okay,” you assured him, kissing his brow. “I used to throw up so much as a kid, gran used to call me projectile Y/N. Just puke all around me all the time. Hell, ask your dad. He held my hair when I threw up in the toilet. It’s my jam. And we’ve got a  towel now. Let’s clean you up, okay?”

Thankfully, the blanket wasn’t soiled, so you could keep it around him as you carried him in the lift.

Cas was waiting for you there. He immediately guided you to a bed and laid Max down on it. You started to step back.

“Y/N, don’t go,” Max rasped out. 

“I’m right here, Chirp. I’m not going anywhere, but Cas needs to take a look at you.”

Max still reached out with his hand. You looked at Cas. He gave you a quick nod and you rushed to Max’s side once more, grasping his outstretched fingers tightly. Cas pressed Max’s tummy, asking where exactly it hurt, then checked the temperature again along with the pulse. You watched apprehensively as Cas pulled down Max’s eyelids and asked more questions. Meanwhile, the chills kept getting worse.

“It looks like he’s caught a viral fever. The nurse outside told me it’s been doing a round at the school. We’ve had many kids this week.”

“Why is he throwing up then?”

“It’s probably the phlegm. I don’t think there’s a reason to worry. I’ll give him an IV with paracetamol and nausea suppressants. He’ll feel much better in a few hours.” Cas hesitated. “Maybe you should ask Sam before we start the treatment. Only he can sign off on the papers. You’ll need the details of the health insurance.”

“I can’t get to him. We’ve been trying non-stop.” 

Would Sam want you to make such decisions on his behalf? Max was looking paler than usual and was clearly in pain. You couldn’t wait till midnight to start him on medication. It was killing you to see him hurting like this.

“Screw the insurance. I’ll pay whatever the bill comes out to be… and I’ll sign off on the papers as well.”

Cas gave you an apprehensive look. “Y/N?”

“Look,” you said through your teeth, “I’m still his legal guardian. I have that right. Just start him on the medication. I can’t bear to see him like this.”

“Alright.” Cas said something to the nurse behind him who rushed out and then came back with a syringe. 

“This is going to hurt just a little, Max,” Cas said, flicking at the needle.

You crouched down next to Max’s head. “You’re my brave boy, aren’t you? One little prick and that will be all. You’ll feel so much better afterwards. Can you do that?” 

Max gave you one quick jerk of his neck. “Close your eyes.” He did. 

Cas pushed the needle into the tiny crease of Max’s arm and you flinched, tears pouring down your cheeks. Max did not even make a whimper. The nurse stuck a piece of white tape over the puncture mark after Cas was done.

“You need to swallow these two little tablets,” Cas said, handing them to Max along with a glass of water. Max looked at you and you nodded encouragingly. Without any fuss, he did as Cas said. You hugged Max very tightly to your chest. “You’re the bravest little thing in this world, you know that? And I’m so damn proud of you. You get every cookie you can think of when you feel better, yeah?”

“We’ll keep him here till the nausea subsides,” said Cas. “Once he feels better, you can take him home.”

Cas seemed concerned, but it wasn’t directed at Max- which made you feel better. It was directed at you. “You better sign off on those papers, Y/N.”

“Can you please bring them here?” You pleaded. “I don’t want to leave Max.” The boy in question was still hugging your middle tightly.

“Of course.”

It was with shivering hands that you filled out the form. You stared at the paper for a whole minute before ticking off on the small box in the relationship to the patient column against mother. Max had fallen asleep in your arms and the tears just wouldn’t stop. You knew he was going to be okay, the fever was already coming down and he had stopped shivering. Sweat dewed up on his forehead. 

Occasionally you wiped it off with the back of your sleeve. 

But you were terrified of this feeling- like the world would go dark if a single wrong thing happened to this boy. There was a point in your life when you were ready to own up to this feeling, looking forward to it even- and then you had lost it, along with every other emotion in your heart. Since the day you had met Max, you’d been dancing along the edge of the precipice of this very feeling- this selfless, immense love. Not ready to take the leap. Scared that you’d be shattered if you did.

Were you scared of being a bad mother? Or were you simply scared of being a mother? 

As you sat there, alone, in the small clinical room, with Max softly snoring in your lap, you realised that what you truly feared above and beyond everything was giving in to feeling this love and losing it again. 

If you accepted him as your son, and then something happened to him, you wouldn’t make it out of it alive. Literally. Not accepting Sam’s love and a place in his and Max’s life was not only a product of your doubts and self-hatred. It was a plain survival instinct. The epiphany was so strong, it left you breathless.

You felt a hand against your shoulder. Cas’s blue eyes were sympathetic in their depth. “You can take him home now, Y/N.” He didn’t try to reassure you beyond it. He had a subtle way of comforting without saying the words out loud.

You called Alex again, who had been reading in the waiting room and she drove you back to Max’s place. He’d been asleep through the ride, right until you put him to bed. Insisting that Alex go back home and study for her exams, you stripped down to your tank top, pulled on a pair of Sam’s tracks. After making sure that Max was still out, you cleaned up your clothes, and the mess on the floor and side of Max’s bed. You didn’t dare close the door of the bathroom, lest Max call out to you and you couldn’t answer. 

Taking the chance, you made some chicken soup for him, and only then did you wake him up, gently. 

Max called out for Sam the moment he opened his eyes and your heart broke again. Doing your best to reassure him that Sam was on his way, you cajoled Max into changing out of his dirty clothes and into fresh ones. 

He refused to eat the soup, but with soft insistence, you persuaded him to finish half a bowl of it. 

“You’ll read to me?” He said in a muted, dull voice as you tucked him back in the bed.

“Of course, sweetheart, what do you want me to read?”

“Anything.”

You looked around the room, your eyes landing on the only book over his nightstand. 

“Alright, here we go.” You flipped to the page with a bookmark. “We could not wait for Atticus to come home for dinner, but called and said we had a big surprise for him. He seemed surprised when he saw most of the back yard in the front yard, but he said we had done a jim-dandy job. “I didn’t know how you were going to do it,” he said to Jem, “but from now on I’ll never worry about what’ll become of you, son, you’ll always have an idea...”

*********

It was stupid and incredibly irresponsible on Sam’s part to let his phone drain out completely. Even worse, he’d left it to charge in the meeting room and forgotten to check it in the next couple of hours while he met with the children in the boy’s home. He came back to 17 missed calls and 23 text messages- from Alex and Y/N. 

Max was sick and he’d had no idea.

Sam had frantically called first thing after going through the texts. Y/N had picked up only to whisper that Max was better and asleep, and that Sam needn’t worry. For the next five hours, Sam worried ceaselessly anyway. It drove Chase up the wall, but he played his music loudly in the car all the way till Sam dropped him off and didn’t point out how Sam was a total maniac. 

The clock on his dashboard blinked 1:22 as he made the bend to his house.

Sam parked the car all wrong in the driveway, barely giving it a second thought before running inside. He should’ve been quieter, knowing Max was asleep, but the anxiety barely kept his legs moving. He would have continued at the same rate through Max’s door if the scene before him hadn’t made him stop.

On the bed, Max was sleeping peacefully. He was dressed in a thin cotton t-shirt, the lower half of his body was covered in his blanket. That wasn’t what made Sam stop. Y/N was curled up beside him, her arm thrown around Max, who was nextled so comfortably in her embrace that he belonged there. Max’s book was balanced over Y/N’s hip, wedged open on the page she had been reading out of. On the nightstand, stood a bowl of cold soup, half empty, along with water and strips of medicine. The table on Y/N’s side held a cooking pot filled with water and a washcloth lay dipped in it. She’d been nursing him- from fever or the sweat, Sam couldn’t say.

Slowly, he walked up to Max, and very very carefully placed the back of his hand on his forehead. No fever. 

Sam looked about himself. The floor was strewn with Max’s clothes that smelled like he had been sick over them. Sam picked up the clothes and carried them to the washing machine. Inside was already a dry load of clothes that belonged to Y/N and him. So Max had thrown up on her. More than once.

Sam knew from the messages that Y/N had taken Max to the hospital- had her friend, whom she trusted implicitly take a look at his son, signed the papers as his guardian and paid the bill out of her pocket.

The thought occurred to Sam as he undressed for the night. In that last message, Y/N had apologised for signing off on Sam’s behalf, as if he could ever be mad at her for dropping whatever she was doing to look after his son, the way a mother would.

Sam understood now why Max had thrown a fit when Sam had forbidden him from seeing Y/N. It had hurt Sam that he couldn’t be enough for Max, that Max was looking for something more in Y/N. But seeing them together now, Sam could see he had been completely wrong. Max wasn’t asking something more, he’d been asking for what already belonged to him- Y/N’s love. Max had been right all along.

Sam pulled the covers and duvet off his bed and dragged to Max’s room where he laid them out at the foot of Max’s bed, so he’d be sleeping next to him on the floor. An alarm started going off on Y/N’s phone, and Sam jumped to turn it off. It was already 2 O’ clock. She had set successive alarms for every hour of the night, Sam presumed to check on Max. Sam turned off all of them. He was home now, he could take care of it. 

He checked Max’s temperature once more- still normal- and then bent down to place a kiss on his forehead. It was almost November. Max always had bouts of viral or flu in the cold months. He should have foreseen it. If Y/N hadn’t been around…

The expression on her face was so peaceful as she held onto his boy, tears sprang into Sam’s eyes. This was everything he wanted in his life. Everything. Right in front of him. He bent down once more and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. She didn’t wake at his touch, but adjusted herself closer to Max on the tiny bed, the book falling off her hip with a soft thud onto the thick carpet. 

Sam lay down on the floor, thinking of a night very long ago when Y/N had fallen asleep on the  sofa in his house, back in Lawrence. He’d read to her from this very book that night- for the first time. Sam had slept besides her on the floor that night as well. A writer would have called the parallel poetic… but Sam saw it for what it was, shrouded in a mist of uncertainty all around him- a haunting ache inside his soul.

He couldn’t thank her for what she’d done for his Max today- not only would that gesture be insufficient, it would be insulting. No, Sam wouldn’t thank her. Instead, he would check up on Max every hour, make her breakfast in bed, and iron her clothes before she woke up, so she wouldn't be late for classes tomorrow. He would pack her a lunch and kiss her goodbye at the door. Maybe she would see through him and understand how incredibly grateful he was for today… and how tragically hopeful he was for the future, when he could do these simple things everyday without the excuse of an unsaid thank you.

“I love you, Darling,” he whispered. “It can only ever be you.”

*****************************

A/N 2: It’s been a hard, awful few days. I must be made up of stronger stuff than I thought I was.

Please do let me know if you liked this part. Reblogs and comments are very much appreciated. 

Five more chapters to go!

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#Sam winchester x reader #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester reader insert #sam x reader fluff #sam fluff #lawyer!sam #professor!sam #lawyer!sam x reader #professor!sam x reader #dad!sam #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #anawrites #anawritesspn #Ana writes ALLU #allu 40 #sickness tw #q

[luvlyrv]

Just Vacation Girlfriends (Seulgi x Fem!Reader)

Genre: Fake dating, fluff

Summary: You and Seulgi enter a precarious fake dating situation, hijinks ensue. Except the hijinks aren't light-hearted, but rather deeply personal and intimate experiences. What are you and Seulgi really?

Word Count: 2k

A/N: Hi, it has literally been 5 months since I last wrote lol, I'm sorry. It's not like I hate writing it's just that there were other things I could and had to do. I apologize for taking so long to upload again, especially for the amount of feedback I got for my first post! 68 followers and 90 notes! I know it may seem like rookie numbers to some but I really want to thank you all. I'm having my winter break now so I should be able to post a lot during this short period. If I'm lucky I may be able to semi-consistently post during the school year as well ;). Sorry if there are any grammar mistakes/wtf moments I'm writing at 3AM and have slept for two hours total for the past 40 hrs, cut me some slack please.

Date: 12/24/20

The chops of your knife against the cutting board were interrupted by your phone ringing. You stop making dinner as you look over your shoulder to your phone a couple inches away on the counter. Your eyebrow perked up as you read the caller ID, it was Seulgi. Of course, you immediately set your knife down to talk to her.

"Hey Seul, what's up?"

"Hi..." Seulgi began to yawn. "I just wanted to hear your voice today."

You can't help but to let out a small smile as you felt your face getting warmer. Luckily Seulgi wasn't actually there to tease you about it.

"Ah, well, here's my voice. Is it relaxing enough, your majesty?"

You can hear a faint and muffled sound of laughter from Seulgi before you hear her tired voice through the speaker again.

"Hm, well I guess that'll do. I'm actually calling to make sure you wanna come with us on vacation again."

"Of course I do, I've been going with you guys for years. I'll make sure it works with my schedule."

"Yeah, I know that and I'll send you the dates, it's just that..." Seulgi let out a long sigh, "there's some other things you need to know."

"And that would be?"

"Pretend to be my girlfriend."

"What?"

"Please, Y/N. It'll just be for a week. I know it's a lot to ask but I need it."

You're speechless for a bit and deliberate on what to say next. Not wanting to worry your friend with your silence you ended up just saying, "Yeah, uh okay, I can work with that... why though?"

"You know how dating is like. Not a lot of time, not a lot of privacy. My parents understand this but they're still worried you know? They worry about how my future will be like if I'm spending basically over a decade just working. Something about it takes time to find the right man, settling, babies, blah blah blah. If you pretend to date me that'll ease their worries and I won't even have to worry about a scandal since it isn't real and only my parents would know anyways. Besides... we're close enough where we can pull this off convincingly, right?"

You take a second to think. It was a strange situation to be in, but as far as you knew you would only have to pretend for the week you would spend with her family. Her family wouldn't be seeing either of you after then, and maybe you could also fake breakup if things get sticky. With Seulgi's last statement... it was true that you've been really close with her and her entire family since you were both little. All it would take would be amping up the friendly touches and banter.

"Yeah, we are. Alright. I guess we should iron out the details about our fake relationship later though. You kind of sound like shit. Rest up if you can."

"Talk to you soon, Y/N."

With that, Seulgi ended the call and you were left with dinner still unprepared and a lot on your mind.

* *

The plan was to go to the airport and fly out to the island with Seulgi, where you could rehearse your story until you would meet up with the rest of her family and go about the vacation as normal. Except for the not so minor detail of you having to be Seulgi's girlfriend.

Seulgi sits by the window as you sit next to her. You try to get comfortable, but you really can't. There's a churning mixture of nervousness in your stomach. Even though it was all pretend, it was hard to imagine yourself trying to make it look real. Although you and Seulgi both felt like it would be easy to pull it off convincingly... there was something you couldn't quite place tugging at your heart-strings.

Your thoughts are interrupted as you hear her sweet voice.

"When did we start dating?"

"Uhm, ah, I know this! It was... er-"

"July 7th."

Seulgi begins to look at you. Her eyes are filled with both a pleading look and a disappointed look. She starts quizzing all the little, and very fake, details of your relationship. You answer them correctly for the most part and Seulgi's mood seemed to improve knowing you weren't completely hopeless. You're starting to get into the swing of things when all of a sudden Seulgi asks something completely unexpected.

"And what's our favorite position in bed?"

You felt your face immediately heat up as your eyes opened wide in shock.

"I- I mean, uh, what?"

"K-kidding of course." Seulgi says this with a smile, yet she seems to shake a little. Maybe she was also surprised with her sudden crude sense of humor. She begins to reach down and grab a small book from her bag. "I think we'll be good for now, just relax until we get there."

You just nod your head in response and slip in your earbuds.

* *

Although it wasn't like you have never spent a vacation with Seulgi, things felt weird.

First was the way her family treated you, especially her parents. The both of you walked into the beach house hand in hand. Her parents were completely unbothered. Later that day when eating dinner, Seulgi decided it was time to announce your relationship. As the conversation at the dinner table seemed to finally be dying down, she set down her fork and began to talk.

"Guys, listen up, I've been holding onto this news for some time now, but I really wanted to do it when everyone could see each other. What I've been wanting to say is... " It seemed to you, that maybe just for a little moment, Seulgi was trying to steel her nerves.

"Y/N and I are dating."

Silence. The two of you were met with utter silence. It wasn't the type of condemning and judging silence, but rather one of indifference. Everyone seemed completely unbothered with this news. The silence was thankfully quickly broken by Seulgi's mom.

"Well, I'm glad you guys have finally sorted your feelings. I'm sure you're both very happy now." Her mom said it with a small but warm smile. Everyone else seemed to nod in agreement. You couldn't help but to ask, "No big congratulations? What about the fact that we're both girls? "

Seulgi's brother laughed a little before talking.

"I mean... sorry. We can act a bit more excited if that's what you want. It really is something to be celebratory about... it's just that you don't usually clap for a fish when it swims, right? You know what I mean? It's just all a bit... expected and natural. As for the 'we're both girls' I don't care, and everyone else probably doesn't either."

To say the least, that was not the reaction that you and Seulgi expected. After dinner the two of you were stuck trying to think about what it all meant. You guys were also both stuck with the fact that you'd share one room and one bed for the rest of the week.

Again, it wasn't like you haven't done things like share a bed with Seulgi before. It was just that the relationship business was getting stuck in your head. Everything normal suddenly felt dangerous. Things like even looking in Seulgi's way felt like it took caution. That night, it was decided that there would be a pillow barrier between the two of you.

By the third night the pillows were all on the floor as the you hung onto each other for warmth, finding comfort in the contours of the other's body.

Things like this kept on happening. You would set up arbitrary rules to feel normal again and destroy them all within a blink of an eye. You just kept on acting on things without intending to.

For example, the other day Seulgi woke up early to cook breakfast. You couldn't help but to feel the absence of her body and warmth and followed her out to the kitchen soon after. Even though you were in a half-asleep state your feet found their way behind Seulgi and your arms snaked around her waist.

You burrowed your face into the crook of her neck. Taking in that familiar and oh-so-comforting scent that is Kang Seulgi. Since when did her scent make you feel at home? Since when did you feel so at ease with her? You had a sneaking suspicion that it has been this way for a very, very long time.

These thoughts didn't matter though, as your body began to move with hers to the soft music she had playing from her phone. She didn't try to resist your touch at all. Instead, it seemed that she melted under your touch, with you seeing her shoulders dropping and feeling her backing in further to your embrace. Before you knew it the serene moment ended when Seulgi finally finished cooking breakfast.

You would frequently hold hands whenever the family was around, yet even though you could spend your free time wherever with whoever, you were attached to Seulgi's hip and she to yours. You two would always end up doing something together, or perhaps you would do nothing, and instead just enjoyed the fact that the other was there while quietly still holding hands.

Holding her hand quickly became your best comfort. Her soft and warm hands seemed to fit perfectly with yours, fitting together just the way you'd want them to. Something about her hands electrified you every time.

The once seemingly distinct line between platonic feelings and romantic feelings began to get blurrier and blurrier with each passing second. This doubt and confusion culminated when going on one of the last outings planned for the vacation.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, during the outing a spontaneous couple's event was hosted. Your mouth began to dry up as the host looked at you and Seulgi, urging each other to kiss.

As far as everyone else knew, you've been dating for a decent amount of time now. Enough of an amount of time for them to assume you had kissed already. You looked into Seulgi's eyes in distress. You could feel the host boring his eyes into you. You could feel practically everyone's eyes staring in anticipation.

Seulgi drew her body closer and that was when you knew your fate was sealed.

* *

A couple hours later and you're back at the house now. Laying in the bed you've shared for the past few nights you finally look at her. She looks back at you with waiting eyes. Slowly you reach your hand up from under the blankets and softly laid it on her soft cheek. She responds by placing hers on top of yours.

Staring at the deep brown of her eyes, you take it all in. You feel heat radiating from her body. You watch her body rise and fall with a mix of a calm yet eager breath. The close proximity that the two of you share is something that was typical, yet so different in the moment. With bated breath you finally say the unspoken words. The words that should've been said long ago. The air and sound barely passes through your lips.

"I love you."

The two of you close in, giving the lightest kiss in the world. There was barely any pressure but you could feel her lips touching yours. Even though you've kissed already, this one meant so much more. Even if this was such a small and innocent kiss, it was the shyness of it all, the realization that it means something that made your heartbeat race.

Putting your foreheads together, Seulgi said with a quiet voice.

"It's been like this since forever, hasn't it?"

"Yeah. Let's keep it that way."

In the back of your head you wonder, was this to please her parents or was this to please her?

#red velvet #red velvet kpop #red velvet seulgi #red velvet scenarios #red velvet imagines #red velvet oneshots #kang seulgi #seulgi #seulgi x reader #kang seulgi x reader #red velvet x reader #reader insert #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop writing #sm town

[tothemeadow]

Alright I got a long one. So I work as a custodian for a school district and when I was first hired I was promised a school to work at. This did not happen and I ended up working at the office which means that I was carted around to different schools to clean instead. I work better with routine, as not having a routine sparks my anxiety. I told them that I didn't appreciate that and that they need to be more honest about the job and not to make promises they couldn't keep. I upped my anxiety meds and stayed with the job because I didn't have time to look for a new one. I go to school during the day and work nights 40 hrs a week.

During spring break I had to help a women, I'll call her li, emist the schools because her partner had gotten fired since they always argued. (huge red flag) during that time she asked me to work over time for her in which I responded no and she began to shout "WHY" and wouldn't let it go so I eventually quited down because she had worn me down, but I didn't say yes. She also asked me if I liked women. I did not tell this woman about my sexuality at ALL. she asked me out of the blue. She then began to ask me how lesbians had intercourse and if it felt better. I was visibly upset comfortable and told her but she kept pushing the issue and every time I declined to answer she would yell "WHY?"

I eventually had to help her and another gentleman clean some class rooms at a school and the man had done a rather bad job at cleaning. We eventually took a break and assuming the man only spoke Spanish she turned to me and asked "why does he do that himself? How can he live that way? He's unhealthy, look at the way he looks, " in regards to his obesity. I told her it was none of my business, but God she just kept talking. I didn't report the incident because I knew the office wouldn't do anything about it.

Over the course of six months li crashed the company car twice and both times it was her fault. Instead of firing her they moved her to a high school. When ever I went to clean at the school she would follow me around and I did my best to avoid her. She would have the school night lead also follow me around and start not picking at little things like not being able to get paint off the floor or whatever. And she kept saying "you're gonna work here." and I'd be like no I'm not. "why cuz you don't like me? " and finally I just said yeah. Over time many people at the school quit or got fired. I was helping to clean the hs that li worked at when she said "you're working here. A lot of people quit" I told her that they quit for a reason. Then today I received a notice that I would be working at the school and she was looking at me smiling. My coworkers said that they're pretty sure her and the night lead requested me. I'm LIVID. this woman seems to be absolutely obsessed with me.

I'm planning on calling the office tomorrow morning and reporting her behavior and harassment and I'm REALLY hoping that they'll agree to move me. Because there is no way I can work properly in that environment.

This night duty stuff really isn’t working out for you, holy shit. Hopefully the office will work something out, but I’m afraid they might just push it to the side or say they’ll take care of it but then won’t. All I can say is to keep doing what you’re doing and avoid her as much as possible, but keep interactions civil. Good luck!

#lostalienchild

[lightspren]

also i need everyone’s Thoughts and Prayers (that is sarcastic)

background: my clinics parent company somewhat recently acquired another medical office parent company. my previous supervisor, who i still talk to a lot and she helps me with stuff, took the position as their superuser. the new group (which is like five clinics totaling to around twenty providers) is coming on to our EMR system at the beginning of the year. they want a superuser on site at each clinic for the first two days, so I’ve been recruited to camp out at one of their clinics.

now. I clock in to work at 7:40. tomorrow I’m going to the clinic I’ll be helping to meet them all before The Big Day. doing that around 4-4:30. then, against my better judgement, I said that yeah, sure, I can come to the 5:30 meeting with some of the providers to help walk them thru training. not thinking about just how long the meeting would take. which turns out to be up to two hours. so friends, I clock in at 7:40 tomorrow, and clock out most likely at 7:30. your local chronically ill and fatigued bitch will be at work for twelve fucking hours. and the have a 45 min drive home bc it’s in the next city over.

AND THEN. AND THEN. ON THURSDAY. I HAVE A **7AM APPT** for my yearly neurology checkup. SEVEN AM. AFTER BEING AT WORK TWELVE HRS THE DAY BEFORE.

so if I’m missing the next two days it’s bc i’m trying to not commit murder. thanks bye.

#kit being stupid #this is very whiny but the whole ‘at work 12 hrs’ thing just dawned on me Today #i’m already exhausted lmao #kit and the misadventures of emr support

[cancerbiophd]

Hey! I’m sure this is a question you get asked a lot but how did you decide that a PhD was for you? I’m about to enter the last year of my undergrad and have really enjoyed the lab work I’ve done previously but it feels like a rather large commitment when I’m not 100% sure I’m going to end up in research at the end of it. I was just wondering how you knew it was what you wanted to do!

Hello!

I actually have never been asked that question before, which was surprising for me too. I get a lot of “how did you know lab research was right for you”, but never specifically about how I knew a PhD was right for me (or maybe I did and I just didn’t answer it well), so I’m really glad you asked!

As you said, it really does come down to answering yes to both these statements: 

The career path I want is best accomplished with a PhD

I am willing to commit to the challenging journey of 5-6 years of grad school (+1-3 years of being a post-doc, if applicable to your field)

So here are the reasons how I knew getting a PhD was the best past for me:

I loved research. And I loved research beyond just doing benchwork--I loved the brainstorming, the experimental design, the analyzing of results, the troubleshooting of the unexpected, the dissecting of both broad and fine details as you solve a puzzle, the moment when you realize you just discovered something no one else has ever seen before, and communicating those exciting results. I was infatuated. When I was working as a lab tech in a cancer research lab after undergrad there were nights where I couldn’t sleep because my brain just would not stop brainstorming new ideas and questions about my research. I told that to a current grad student in the lab at the time and he was like “You know what that means? You have the mind of a grad student.”

And I wanted to broaden my skillsets. I could do a few techniques really well, but I really wanted to learn more, and I also wanted to learn more about those techniques--why do this, and not an alternative? What would happen if we tried this? I wanted to explore more. 

Going off of that, I wanted to keep learning. And not just looking up wikipedia articles by myself; I wanted formal training (because I had no idea what I needed to learn). And I’ve always been good at learning in a classroom setting so I knew I would excel at that part in grad school. 

It would lead me to the career path I wanted, which was to work at a biotech company as a leader of a research team and then become a consultant. True, a PhD is not required for that in many cases, but a PhD would better prepare me for those roles

I enjoyed writing and orally communicating about my research. PhD’s do metric ton of writing (grants, papers, reports, etc) and oral presentations (conferences, meetings, collaborations, etc). And I really enjoyed (and was good at) all that. 

I wanted to be in a position where I could lead and mentor. As someone with the highest degree in the room, institutions look to the PhDs for direction. So PhDs will become leaders--whether it’s a lab of their own in academia, or a team in an industry setting, etc. Even grad students have undergrads, or have to TA. And I was ready for, and wanted, all that. 

I was good at wearing a lot of hats. PhDs don’t just do a singular task; during grad school we learn to be versatile (you have to be in an academic lab setting), and that versatility carries through later as we become excellent multitaskers and are good at adapting to new challenges. And as someone who has always successfully juggled school and work and multiple extracurriculars, and had experience being a rockin lab manager (in the lab I worked in after undergrad), I knew I was up to it. 

I loved working by myself but I also loved working as a team--and that’s a necessity for research in general, even for non-PhDs, but PhDs are more likely to have to excel at both. 

I was mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially ready for the challenges and commitment of 5-6 years of grad school (plus 1-3 years of being a post-doctoral fellow, if applicable). Grad school is tough as balls, and you have to be just as tough, or at least have the resources to help you. I took a gap year of 2.5 years after undergrad to a) figure out what the heck I wanted to do/get research experience and b) mature to the point where I could be ready for something like grad school. I feel that working as a full-time lab tech really allowed me to immerse myself into the closest setting of a grad student in my field as possible. Being there 40 hrs/week really is different than when you’re an undergrad researcher popping in for 2 hours/day. I also took a grad-level class to see if I could mentally balance class and research. I know that’s obviously not an option available to everyone (nor is it necessary), but that’s just how I knew that every part of me could handle the rigors of grad school. 

Going off of that, I had a lot of grit and discipline. Sometimes that’s all you have left to get you through the day in grad school when everything else feels depleted. Grad students do a lot of things they’re not motivated to do, but we gotta get it done anyway, and sometimes grit is all we have to make our limbs move. 

PhD holders and PhD students at the time were telling me I’d be great at pursuing one. They know better than anyone what it takes, and they knew I was ready. 

Also dang, I’d be lying if I said money didn’t play a role in it. I graduated college in 2011 during the grand ol recession, and the job market stunk. I saw that options for biology majors were slim to none (I was extremely lucky to have found my lab tech job), so I knew I had to either wait it out until the job market bounced back, or make myself a more attractive candidate for the workforce, or both! (Let’s not talk about the economy during Covid lol). Also, the thought of making over 100k with a PhD was attractive. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, but money does buy happiness, because money buys food and a roof over your head and warm clothes and healthcare and hobbies so uh, yeah, I did get the highest degree possible partially for the money. 

So why not a Masters? That’s a good question!! And the truth is: I didn’t know I could accomplish most of what I wanted with a Masters. And that was my fault for not doing my own research, but I think I was just.. surrounded by PhDs (both in my academic lab setting and in my family) and the thought of doing a Masters never really occurred to me. Also, idk, I knew in my heart and in my bones I wanted a PhD, so I’m not sure if I would be happy with a Masters. 

Lastly, because this list is personal to me, getting a PhD would get me off my mom’s shit-list and end her endless emotional abuse towards me being worthless, etc. Long story, but yeah, it did factor into it as kind of a bonus point. 

So thar’s my spiel.  

One last thing I want to add: though continuing research is the most common career path for PhD holders, it’s not the only one. Here’s what else is available for PhDs (from the book Career Opportunities in Biotechnology and Drug Development by Toby Freedman)

If the image is hard to see, there are 4-ish main branches, and then some sub-branches (and even more specialized sub-branches that aren’t labeled):

R&D: Discovery research, preclinical research, bio/pharmaceutical product development, project management, clinical development, regularly affairs, medical affairs

Services: Recruiting, law, venture capital & banking, management consulting

Operations: Bio IT, quality, operations

Commercial Operations: Business development, corporate communications, product support, sales, marketing

And that’s just in the industry sector--academia, government, and non-academia/non-govt research institutions are also obviously available as career choices, though those would focus more on R&D (and also teaching). 

You obviously don’t need to know the specifics of your career path before committing to grad school, but I think you should have a general idea that what you want to do would best be accomplished with a PhD. 

If you’re still on the fence, I would advise:

Talking to more grad students or degree holders--both PhD and Masters (our Gradblr Discord is great for that!)--to paint a bigger picture.

Informational interviews are also great, especially if you’re interested in learning more about those career paths above. 

You can also explore the field a bit more in-person by starting off with a Masters (less time commitment than a PhD, though more expensive), or an entry-level research job like I did. 

Best of luck! 

#genestudies #grad advice #job advice

[writingwhywhywhy]

Derailed Chapter 11

A/N Sorry this is taking forever. The you know makes it hard for me to write. This one should be a lot longer, and it's a lot of explanation. Like wtf is up. I also had to start a new job that is 40   hrs without anyway to write a single thing. Also side note Y/M/N is your mom's name. Life also got complicated since I started so yeah.

"It's a coven." Freya stated

"The long shot was looking for a coven?" You asked slightly confused, while managing to forget that you hadn't told anyone else that Freya was attempting a Hail Mary.

"It was the only available solution. The good news is that they seem to collect in one town." She responded

"Which coven?" Asked Elijah.

"Zavala. They seem to be located about 200 miles from here. They apparently siphon their power from the magic lines that marry into the coven." Freya said.

"So what would they want with me? I have nothing magical about me." You tried to think through the problem

"I say we go and ask them." Dean said

"Sam and I will go in the morning." Klaus commanded

"Great. I am coming with you." You replied

"No." Came from all the men simultaneously.

"If I am or the children I am carrying are what they want, they can't kill me." You stated

"Or you could just be handing them exactly what they want." Klaus replied

"That's why I am not going alone, unless you think between you and Sam you can't defend one measly hunter." You said

"You should understand that witches do have their tricks." Klaus responded

"Hey." Freya started to protest.

"Anyone with brains can see they either underestimated us or didn't think we knew someone powerful enough to track them. Their tricks really are nothing compared to Freya’s." You replied.

"You think I am the brainless one here. I am not.." Klaus started.

"Enough." Elijah commanded.

The room fell silent. "Look, this is getting us no where. Dean, Y/N, and I will head to the town tomorrow. We will politely ask what they want. We are the three people they are lest likely to kill. Plus if they kill one or more of us, they most likely lose whatever they wanted." Elijah reasoned.

The logic was hard to argue with. The room seemed to be hit simultaneously with the sleepiness that everyone had spent the last few weeks earning. A non verbal agreement set in, everyone was going to go to bed. "I hate to admit it, but I think Dean and I might need a guide to our different rooms." You said reluctantly.

"I have got you, love. I believe that Sam has a better sense of direction than his brother." Klaus said

"Sam you can call me if you get lost. I will send my guide to rescue you!" You said exiting.

You stared at Klaus's back as you let your mind wander to tomorrow. It was going to be an awkward car ride. You were so out of it you almost missed when Klaus spoke to you. "You use to never get lost here." He stated

"Yes, but I also use to live here." You replied with no desire to continue the conversation.

"So what is your plan about the kids?" Klaus asked

"I am not sure. I still need more information." You replied

"Hope was a surprise I didn't accept at first. Hayley being pregnant made no sense. I almost missed out on that source of joy. I just want you to know that." Klaus said.

"Yeah but your history with Hayley was a lot less complicated. Plus she didn't have to split locations for her child." You replied

"Sure but her life got a lot more complicated. She made a lot of sacrifices to protect Hope. You might have an easier time." Klaus said

"If you are implying that I don't have a heart, I wish that I didn't because leaving when asked wouldn't hurt. If you are saying I don't love your brother, you are also mistaken. The only think you could be right about is maybe your brother not loving me." You bit back

"If you are blind enough to believe my brother ever stopped loving you, you have not been paying attention. Which makes sense because two men have been falling over themselves and you hardly noticed." He said

You knew exactly who he was talking about and you had to stop this conversation. "Thank you for the compliment but you and Sam really aren't my type." You joked

Klaus glared at you. You glared back. "I believe we have arrived at where you are staying." Klaus said dryly.

"Thank you and goodnight." You said doing your best not to slam the door in his face.

The following morning, you just grabbed your duffel bag and headed straight to the kitchen. Hopefully Dean would be down there and ready to go. You really just wanted to get out of here.  The upcoming car ride wasn't going to be pleasant but at lest everyone had the same goal in mind. Hopefully the silence would stay between the three of you.

Dean was waiting with Elijah. The three of you seemed to be like minded and laser focused. Without much talking the three of you packed the impala. The only pause came when the three of you were to get in the car. Dean was obviously driving and someone should take shotgun. You took the backseat you had spent your first year with the Winchesters riding in.

The car ride was silent even with a stop for gas. The air was thick with unease. About ten miles away from the city, Dean announced his intention to get more gas just in-case. Everyone knew the amount of gas on the car would make no difference in the scheme of things, but having this as a last ditch backup plan was comforting a bit.

You decided to go pee. On your walk back to the car a man seemed to stare you down. It freaked you out and you almost ran to the car. "Are you Y/M/N's daughter?" He asked

Your blood ran a bit cold. Very few people knew her name. Your feet were about to turn into a run, but Elijah and Dean flanked you very suddenly. "Yes. I was actually on my way to this town to do some research on my family history." You replied, hoping you would get away.

"Well I should be a lot of help considering we were married for a few years and had a daughter named Clarissa." He replied

Your heart stopped. That had been your oldest sister's name. He was lying you thought. Your mother had never told you any of this. Before you could process, Dean spoke up. "Any help you provide would be great. She dragged me and this guy along. None of us are great with history or directions. Could we follow you to a cafe?"

"Please she is practically family, you all can come to my home." He replied with his eyes drinking you in.

Before you could politely reject, Elijah stared him in the eye and said "You are going to invite me in as soon as we arrive."

You saw the strange man nod, and realized that Elijah had done a small test and intended to compel the answers out of him. In this moment you really wished the Elijah had been on more hunts with you.

The strange man did indeed invite Elijah in, once the three of you arrived. Hope kinda surged in you. Dean was about to set up and ask some questions. You stopped him with one touch and a look. Elijah had a plan and you knew you could trust Elijah.

Elijah was about to compel the man again, but he offered answers freely. "My name is Walter. I am going to go get my photo book. Your mother was a beautiful bride. You might actually put her to shame." He said walking to grab a book.

The three of you still stood. "Please sit. Would you like something to drink?" Walter asked in a way that made you want to trust him.

Your gut instinct told you not to. So you took the seat next to Walter. "No thanks. My mother never mentioned her marriage to you. Do you know why?" You asked

"Oh because she ran away from the coven. We were in love, but your father came along. I am sure I would still recognize my Clarissa. We were set to be the power couple coven leader with the most powerful children. Yet your mother fell for someone else. Did you know it broke your grandparent's hearts?" He chirped away.

"No I did not." You stuttered a bit shocked at how candid he was being.

"Why are you really here?" Walter asked

You prepared the lie, but instead the truth surged out. "I am pregnant with twins and really shouldn't be. Elijah's sister located that this coven stated it."

Dean and Elijah stared at you with a mix of disbelief and anger. You sent apologies back. "Oh boys don't be mad at her. As the coven leader I have an honesty spell on the house. No one can lie inside my house, not even me. Twins are extremely rare and so interesting. So the reason our coven is at fault, is the fact it is your coven. The Zavala coven was struck with a curse that almost chopped us down.

You see the coven use to gain power through marriages. Then a petty more powerful coven foresaw our great power, and lay a very powerful curse upon us. Every other generation would be without magic, and we could only gain power from a line by having two children of that line being born into the Zavala coven.

The part that almost did us in was the fact that they made it impossible for any members of the coven to have children unless they met some requirements. One was mutual love for each other. The other was you had to be past the age of 26."

That hit you like a ton of bricks. The twins you carried proved that they both loved you. You were still processing that when Walter spoke again.

"We fought it by making conceptions guaranteed, no matter what they were or what should stand in the way of having kids. Unless of course, the coven member or members get a magical block put up with consent from the coven member. So boys what were your last names?"

You watched as they both tried and lost the fight to lie. "I herd of your mother, Elijah. Her line seems to be strong. I approve of him. You know his vampire status will not hinder you having a third child. You should have another child with him. If you do that, we will welcome you and your family back. We need more people in the town, and we can keep you protected." Walter said

Your blood went cold. "I am not having children just to please people." You responded

"Oh well. Hopefully Elijah wins you back. Now do you want some tea while I fill you in on my marriage to your mother?" Walter asked with a sick smile.

You wanted to run. "We are going to go." Dean said

"Well you kids remember, we want her and her kids back." He said with the worst smile.

You almost ran out of the house. Your feet flew to the car and you hopped in back. Dean and Elijah were on your heels. You decided to look back as you pulled away. Walter was standing there waving with his horrible smile.

"So I can see why your mom left." Dean tried to joke.

"Well I can see why she never talked about him." You replied

The three of you traveled once again in silence. You stopped at a diner. The three of you selected a table. Your waitress was a pleasant lady who vaguely reminded you of Kathy. Your heart longed for the town you had called an almost home. "What can I get y'all?" She asked

"I will have a burger, Diana." Dean said

"I would prefer a salad, dear." Elijah said

"I want the greatest burger ever and a side of fruit instead of fries, Diana." You said

Diana gave you a weird look. You rubbed your belly and responded "These kids have been giving me the weirdest cravings."

She nodded like she knew that exact feeling. Now Dean and Elijah were giving you weird looks. "Trust me the cravings are very weird." You replied

Dean decided to barrel through. "So the Zavala coven gets their power from breeding their line."

"So basically, don't have another kid with either of you and we should be fine. They can’t gain more power from us." You replied

"You might want to talk to Freya about the birth control options you have." Elijah stated

"Will do. So now we need to get into the meat of this. What are going to do about them?" You asked

"I don't want to force you into anything you don't want." Dean answered

"Look Dean, we need to face some facts. One I never thought about kids before this. My focus has been on survival. The two of you both brought the topic up once, you need to tell me what you want. I am not against being the equivalent of a surrogate for you two. I just need information before I decide anything." You snapped

Dean was a taken a bit back. "If you decide to surrogate, and Dean is not inclined to be a father, I will take both of them. As far as I'm concerned they both are Mikealsons." Elijah volunteered

"Same." Dean mumbled after the shock wore off.

Before you could start the next leg of the conversation, Diana came back. The town washed over you again and you remembered the promise you made what felt like lifetime ago. You grabbed your stomach again. "I  know what I want. But man this isn't going to be easy."

You arrived at the compound a few hours later.  You walked in with the two men and your duffel bag. The moment the three of your crossed the threshold, you felt more than herd a barrier spell go up. Before you could react to that a figured walked into view. You couldn't believe your own eyes. "Mom?" You asked in a very broken voice.

#elijah x reader #dean winchester x reader #elijah mikaelson x reader #dean x reader #derailed

[ramshacklefey]

This morning I found out that the Roman Empire is to blame for the fact that you work 40 hrs a week and still don't make enough to live.

Quick disclaimer: I’m not a historian, so if any of my friends who are wanna chime in and corroborate/disprove what I’m about to say, feel free!

As I’m still stuck at home waiting to find out if I’m dying or not, I have a lot of time to spend rummaging around online. This morning, that took the form of a quest sparked by a post from Tumblr: working 40 hours a week should earn the means for a comfortable life.

It got me to thinking, “Why 40 hours?” So I wandered off to the wide spaces of the internet to find out. A few hours later, I had discovered that the Romans were to blame.

Rome, as we all learned in school, was a big empire. They were very good at this and conquered most of Europe. Most of their conquered lands were owned by aristocrats and worked by slaves. If you weren’t a slave, but also weren’t rich, you could be a coloni. Colonii were tenants to landowners who, like sharecroppers, paid their rent in the form of a portion of their harvests. They had legal protections that let them do things like move from one landowner to another at the end of yearly contracts.

But, Emrys, you may be asking, what does this have to do with my minimum wage job? Patience, friend. The plot will thicken.

Some other things that Rome was super good at were keeping records and taxing people. By about the third century CE, Roman landowners in Europe started relying more on colonii and less on slaves. Colonii didn’t have to pay taxes, but the landowners did. And Emperor Dieocletian decided, sometime that century, that landowners should be taxed on TWO things: 1) How much land they owned and 2) How many people lived on that land.

Remember how I said Rome was really good at keeping records? Yeah, turns out having people moving around all the time makes it really hard to keep records of how many people are living on one plot of land. And if you don’t know THAT, you don’t know how much you need to charge ol’ Sextus there in taxes. Can’t be having that, now can we?

Emperor Constantine certainly couldn’t be having it. So he instituted laws that made it a lot harder for colonii to move around between years. They had to pick one landowner and stick with them. There, problem solved.

Sort of. See, Rome imploded, and control of Europe changed hands a couple times, and eventually the Carolingians had most of western Europe. The Carolingians also fell apart after a couple centuries, and then no one was really in charge of Europe for the first time in about a thousand years (this was at the beginning of the 10th century, and Rome had more or less finished conquering Europe at the beginning of the 1st century).

At which point the continent promptly fractured into a heap of little feudal states. The lords running those states were whoever could afford to pay the most dudes with swords to fend off the neighbors’ dudes with swords. And those lords tended, on the whole, to be pretty fond of the idea of having a bunch of tenants stuck farming their land and not allowed to leave. Enter serfdom.

Serfdom worked out pretty well for a few centuries. Long enough for France and Britain to get their shit together and become real countries, but not long enough for Germany to realize that it couldn’t just keep being ten fiefdoms in a trenchcoat forever.

It started changing because people did a lot of dying in the 1300s. There was a big famine, and then the Black Death, and then it got really cold. Somewhere around ⅓ of the population of Europe died, mostly in the second half of the century. Living in Europe int the 13- and 1400s sucked so much it got its very own name: “The Crisis of the Late Middle Ages.”

While all that was going on, power all over Europe was centralizing in big cities, and kings were really coming into fashion. It is hard to make a living as a feudal lord when you’ve got a king breathing down your neck. Land was getting cheaper, because a lot of feudal lords were dead, so there was lots to go around. And serfs were really getting sick of being serfs, and started getting pissy about it.

So a lot of lords said, “Fuck it, I’m done with farming for grain. Let’s try cows. Hey, all you serfs, you’re free. Now get off my land, I’m gonna use it for cows.” Then they hired some people to take care of their cows, because paying them cash was waaaaaay cheaper than keeping serfs alive.

Like all terrible things though, it had to end. Europe’s population had finally recovered from all the plagues and famine and freezing to death sometime in the 1500s. The Renaissance had seen a nice population boom, and then we had the whole Exploration age, but most people in Europe were still living in the countryside and farming. They weren’t officially serfs any more, but the majority of them were still tenant farming on someone else’s land or working as paid labor.

Then the Industrial Revolution happened. And that was very complicated, but the short of it is that most people in Britain were starving, because no one had their own land and lots of the people who DID own the land were raising rents, or dropping wages, or deciding that they had other stuff they wanted to do with their land and getting rid of everyone again.

So some people who were very into manufacturing shit came up with the bright idea of having a pyramid scheme for manufacturing. They’d bring the raw materials out to your cottage, you’d make stuff for them, and they’d come pick up the materials next week (and if you made enough stuff you could become a recruiter and get your neighbors making stuff and…) 

This worked until the demand for more stuff got too big and some people in Britain started inventing very clever machines for making stuff faster. Only, well… see, you could have Mrs. Winston sit at home and spin in the evening or in the winter when there wasn’t much farming to do. She could probably even weave on a normal loom. But her cottage was a bit small for a powered loom, let alone needing to be able to power it.

“Hey, new plan,” said the enterprising bastards, “I’mma build a big building with all the supplies and machinery that you need, and you’ll come here and work, just like you did at home, and we’ll all be the better for it.”

Only remember how none of the poor people had enough food? And no one was farming their own land?

Yeah, that didn’t stop happening. So all the poor people were starving, and then these new manufacturing companies said, “Hey, come work for us, we’ll give you money!” And they did. Only, they kinda also made them work 12 - 14 hours a day, six days a week, because they could. You could work for this factory, or that one, but there wasn’t much to choose between them. And you were probably going to starve either way but you might starve SLOWER if you had a job than if you didn’t.

And THIS went on for a good hundred years more or so, until finally enough workers got angry enough that they formed unions and started fighting the factory owners. And after about a century of fighting, we all decided that it was fair that a person should work 40 hours a week for someone else’s profit in exchange for a comfortable living.

Cool. Let’s run that backwards real quick.

The reason we have a 40 hr work week is because it was the best deal the unions could wrangle out of capitalists, and was a hell of a lot better than an 80 hour work week for starvation wages.

The reason people were working that much is because they had moved to working in factories to earn money because everyone was starving in Britain. Also rich people wanted stuff made faster than was possible.

Everyone was starving in Britain because the landed gentry were closing off their lands and kicking out tenant farmers in order to try and do more profitable things with said land.

They were able to do that because no one in Europe except the obscenely wealthy owned land, so the only way to BE a farmer was to be a tenant or paid laborer.

That was the case because of the system of serfdom, which feudal lords liked because it kept them fed for cheap.

Serfdom came about because of Roman tax law.

And thus we see yet another reason why Rome was the worst thing that ever happened to the world. Fuck Rome.

#history #rome #labor laws #babbling #european history #roman history #serfdom #middle ages #industrial revolution

[prorevenge]

Go ahead and undermine my credentials and hard work. I'll just make sure people know who you really are.

Backstory

I'm 25(M) and I work in the IT department for my company. Our IT department branches out into 6 smaller departments (Technical Support, Programming, Web Development, Computer System Analysis, IT Security, and Network Engineering). Each of these has their own boss and the boss of these all answer directly to the Director of the IT department. A couple weeks ago, I was called into the Director's office when I came into work. She’s an incredible person and mentor.

She told me that she had some good news and bad news. The bad news was that she was offered another job at a much larger company as the IT director at one of their branches in Chicago, so she’d be leaving in a couple of months. The good news was that the position for IT director at our company was open, and given my performance and reputation around the office, my immediate boss (the head of Computer System Analysis) had put my name in for consideration for the job! Each of the six department bosses in IT had to put one name in for consideration, so I have at least five other people who are competing for this job, plus any potential outside hires (It’s four now, but I’ll get to that). After our little chat, I weighed the pros and cons of the job if I get it and I decided to just go for it! I might have a pretty good shot at getting the job, since I'd consider myself a fairly likable person, a hard worker, and fairly good at my job. But there are others who are also very good candidates and I'd still be okay if I didn't get the job. It’s an honor to just be considered.

Now let me tell you about the target of my revenge. For the sake of this story, let's call this guy "Gabe". As the head of Technical Support, Gabe had the power to recommend anyone in his department for the position, but he picked himself. Now I already knew him and what he's like because a year ago I also worked in Tech Support for a short time. I was originally hired to be in the Computer System Analysis department, but I volunteered to help out in Tech Support since we were a bit short-staffed at the time. Gabe is an obnoxious, self-absorbed, arrogant, and uptight dick who doesn't listen to anyone who he feels is "beneath him". He's either in his late 30s or early 40s, but either way he has at least 10 years on me. He's a little on the chubby side, receding hairline, and a neck-beard. All he needs to achieve his final form is a fedora. Back when I worked for him, he gave me a lot of crap for so many little things. From not filling out repair tickets right to completing a repair slightly out of order, he always had something to complain about. But other than that, he seemed fine to me. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have done what I did or gone as far as I did. But then this happened:

I was just doing my work and minding my own business, as one does. I stood up to go refill my water bottle at the water fountain and guess who follows me? If you said Gabe, then congratulations. You get a cookie. Gabe walks up to me while I'm filling up my bottle and starts a conversation.

Gabe: Hey OP, what's goin' on? How are you?

Immediately I knew somebody was wrong. He's never this friendly. But I had no easy way out of this, so I rolled with it.

Me: Hey Gabe. I'm good. How're yo-

Gabe: So I heard that (Head of CSA's name) put your name in for the Director's job.

Me: Yeah! I'm really excited to interview! It's an honor to even be considered.

Gabe just laughs and puts on his normal expression of smug and gassy

Gabe: Listen to me. If you think they're gonna pick you, a lazy new kid who can't even write a fucking repair ticket correctly, over me, a team manager who's had 15 years with this company, then you're out of your goddamn mind.

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe those are actual words that a coworker, much less a coworker with a higher position, said to my face.

Me: What the hell? Why would you say that? I did nothing but good work for you last year and you know it.

Gabe: It was mediocre at best! When I become the IT director, I’m gonna crack the whip. Why anyone would think someone like you is a worthy candidate for one of the highest positions in the company is beyond me. So I’ll make sure my new department heads have better judgement than (Head of CSA’s name)

He walked away smugly and I just stood there, both shocked and honestly quite hurt. The only part he got right was that I was relatively new, being there for two years. But I also realized in that moment that I couldn’t let this kind of person be the Director. But, again, I’m just a kid to them, so what can I do?

Planning The Revenge

That same day, I went down to the building's cafeteria to take my lunch break with my girlfriend (she works in the Marketing Department). I told her about the promotion and what happened with Gabe. She made me feel better by talking me down and that was super nice. But what happened next was even better. A few of my friends from IT walked by to congratulate me as well and they sat down. A couple of them are from Tech Support and the rest are from the other departments. My girlfriend welcomed them to sit down with us and we made it a little party. We talked and then I told them about what happened with Gabe. The ones in Tech Support all groaned and, surprisingly, so did the rest of them. I was intrigued and I asked them to elaborate, and all of them have their own Gabe horror story.

Turns out that his usual condescending remarks aren't the worst of it. They had stories about him ripping into an intern for not getting his coffee order right, one story about him making transphobic remarks about an HR rep (really sweet guy. Makes incredible babka.), one of them has a couple of recordings of sexist and rape-y comments towards the female department heads in IT, and he's even come to work intoxicated on multiple occasions. Although that last part wasn't really news to me, since he reeked of alcohol frequently.

Now at this point, you’re probably asking the same question my girlfriend asked: “Why don’t you tell somebody?” Well I’ll tell ya. Our communication policy is kinda shit in IT. Rather than report a dispute or an issue immediately to HR or the Director, we have to give it to our immediate superior, which in this case would be Gabe for a lot of them. You really think Gabe’s gonna rat himself out to the Director? As much as I love my boss and think she’s going a wonderful job, that’s the one policy that she has that I don’t agree with.

At this point, we had all kinda bonded over our mutual hatred for Gabe. We had all agreed that Gabe would be an absolutely terrible boss and we needed to stop him. We were the Avengers and this was our Endgame (which is funny since Endgame would come out the next day). Just then, my genius girlfriend said something that I couldn't believe I didn't figure out sooner. She said "Y'know, this time next week, you're going to be face to face with the CEO, an HR rep, and your Director for the interview. That's your opening. You can air out all of his dirty laundry right there." The rest of our faces lit up, realizing this too and we were ecstatic. This was our chance and we weren't going to waste it. Gabe is a terrible human being and would be an even worse Director. He had to go. But I'd need proof first. So that's what I got.

Revenge Time

Along with rewriting my resumé and brushing up on my interview skills, I spent the next week being something of an investigative journalist. I asked my previously mentioned coworker to email me those recordings he had of Gabe’s rape-y comments (which by the way were absolutely sickening to listen to. I think the worst one was “I’d love to raw her over the trash can like the dirty whore she is.”), as well as spending time interviewing members of the Tech Support team as well as some of the other department heads. Almost everyone had some form of bad experience with him, ranging from unprofessional to downright abusive behavior. The head of WebDev even said that she was always uncomfortable whenever they were alone in a room together. By the time I was done, I had 3 voice recordings of Gabe, 4 pages of quotes from people around the office, and the stories I had originally heard at lunch that day when we began planning. I really wanted to prove his whole day-drinking thing, but I was afraid that going that far might cost me my job. But what I wanted to do was sneak into his office, open his drawers, and hopefully find empty liquor bottles or something to that effect. But what I had would just have to suffice.

Then the day came. We were in the Endgame now. I showed up to the work the day of interviews in my finest suit, my resumé, and literal pages of evidence to make my case. I walked into the office and saw my competition along with a bunch of other people who I didn’t recognize. Those were the outside hires. I was getting pretty nervous, especially when I saw the interview committee in the conference room through its glass walls. The CEO, my Director, and an HR Rep. I took a few deep breaths, checked when my turn was, and then I sat down to do my work, just waiting to make my move. A few of my coworkers came by my desk to wish me good luck, and that made me feel a lot better about it.

I waited and waited for my turn and then saw Gabe walking up to me from the conference room, so that means his interview must’ve just finished. I pulled out my phone and went to voice memos and began recording, just in case I got anything more out of him, and oh boy you bet I did.

Me: What’s up, Gabe? How was your interview?

Gabe: Great. Obviously. The job is as good as mine. You might as well not even try.

Me: I’m still gonna try my best, man. Who knows? I might even get it.

Gabe: Yeah keep dreaming.

He starts to get up in my face and I can smell his lunch on his breath. Too many onions. He then starts hissing at me.

Gabe: You’re absolute trash, kid. They’re not gonna pick a kid with two years of experience with an undergrad degree over me. I’ve been at this company for far too long and got my undergrad degree and my masters from Princeton! Don’t think for a second that you have the upper hand. You’re nothing to me!

I held my breath while he ranted and then he walked away to talk to another one of my coworkers who had their interview already. Coworkers around me just looked at me both shocked and confused once he walked away. I grabbed my phone, stopped the recording, and played it back. That was it. That was the final piece. I waited for a couple more interviews to finish, until they finally called me in. I grabbed my bag and my phone and walked into the conference room. As I walked, I could feel the eyes of some coworkers on me. They knew my plan, and I think they were counting on me to pull this off. Once inside, we all shook hands and exchanged formalities before sitting down and letting the interview begin. Not all of it is relative to the story, so let me just skip to the end.

CEO: Given the amount of internships you've done and how much time you've put into the company, you may have a good chance. However, we've just interviewed people with almost triple your experience. How do you stand out from the rest.

Me: Well, if I become the new Director, I already have some ideas for policies I'd like to put into place.

Director: Oh really? Would you care to give us an example?

Me: Don't get me wrong. I believe that you have done an amazing job as Director of this department, but there are some things that I think can be improved upon. For instance, our policy when it comes to HR.

HR Rep: Could you elaborate on that, please?

Me: Certainly. In the IT department, when we have any disputes or grievances to settle, we need to report them to our direct superior. Not the Director, but to the lower department heads. My goal is to streamline communication, so workers can report issues directly to the Director or go straight to HR.

Director: Alright, but can you tell us why the current policy is an issue?

I started smiling. This was it. This was my opening.

Me: Funny you should ask. Recently, I heard stories from a bunch of my coworkers about our head of Tech Support, Gabe. He's been very rude to his staff and to others on multiple occasions. In fact, I think "unprofessional" is a bit of an understatement from the stories I've been hearing.

Right then, I reached into my bag and pulled out the long list of stories and quotes I had gathered from the past week and handed them to the CEO.

Me: I care about my coworkers, so I did some digging. I really feel like this is something that you need to see.

I watched as the search committee read the quotes and stories. I watch their expressions turn to shock and disgust, which I totally get. I felt the same way when I heard all of this.

HR Rep: This is a... conflict of interest. From what I know, Gabe is also your competition for this position. How do we know that these stories aren't fabricated so that you could get an advantage? Because offenses like these could result in immediate termination. I hope you have a way to prove these very serious accusations.

Me: I had a feeling you'd say that. You are free to interview any of the people I quoted, but I can just save you some time and show you this.

I pulled out my phone and opened up the email that my coworker had sent me and all four of us listened to this neck-beard's disgusting and upsetting quotes. But I wasn't done there. I also pulled up the most recent one. The conversation between me and him. My Director just looked down at her desk and then they looked at each other. I was the one to break the silence.

Me: I'm sorry you had to hear all of this.

CEO: Could you please email those recordings to me? I would like to address this immediately.

Me: Of course. You are free to keep those papers too.

I forwarded the email to him along with my recording.

Director: Thank you for this information, OP. We'll let you know our decision when the time comes.

Me: Of course. Thank you for your time.

I shook everyone's hand again and that's when the HR Rep spoke up.

HR Rep: Can you please ask Gabe to come back? I would like to address this immediately as well.

I'm ecstatic at this point

Me: I would be happy to.

I leave the room and notice my friends in Tech Support just staring at me. My girlfriend was also sitting at my desk, since we planned on going out for lunch after my interview. I didn't want to give anything away, so I kept a straight face and walked past them and towards Gabe's office. I walked in and sighed.

Me: The interview committee wants to see you again.

Gabe just looked up from his computer and just gave me a cocky smirk, as if to say "I told you so." He got up and pushed past me towards the door. I followed behind him towards the conference room and we parted ways when he went in and I walked towards my desk. I wanted to see exactly what happened. I watched what unfolded through the glass walls. I saw Gabe's face turn white and his expression turn from smug to terrified. He turned his head to me and I had this shit-eating grin on my face. I just waved and then left my office with my girlfriend to have a nice lunch.

The Aftermath

I was feeling pretty good about the whole day. I got my revenge, did fairly well in a job interview, and had amazing chicken parm for lunch that day. I felt so good, that I decided to take the rest of the day off. I went to the zoo, saw a really cute koala bear. The next day, I came to work dressed down since interviews were over, and then patiently waited for the committee to make their decision. When I walked into the lobby of the building, my two friends from Tech Support ran over and trapped me in a bear hug.

Me: Well this is new. What's this for?

Friend 1: You did it!

Me: I GOT THE JOB?!

Friend 1: No! We wouldn't know even if you did. We're talking about Gabe!

Me: I stopped him from getting the job?

Friend 2: Oh you did a lot more than that. But you'll just have to see for yourself.

Both of them drag me to the elevator to go up to the IT floor. When we get there, they dragged me through the main office and over towards Gabe's. When we got in, all I found was an empty room with a desk in the middle of it. My jaw dropped. Apparently I collected so much evidence for Gabe's misbehavior, not only did I eliminate him from gunning for the Director's job, but he was also fired from the company and potentially blacklisted since everything I submitted for evidence against him was put on his permanent file. I'm not sure if he was blacklisted or not since I'm not entirely sure how that works, but he's definitely gone for good. I asked them about the details of what happened after I left. They told me that Gabe was so mad (probably at me), that his face was bright red. After he left the conference room, he spent the rest of the day packing up and drinking in his office, so I guess my day-drinker theory held up. He left in shame, and we won't see him again.

I was so excited. Gabe was gone and it felt like the office was a brighter place. People were so excited that a few people outside the Tech Support department brought in a bunch of desserts, from cheesecake to brownies. They were delicious, but I think what them taste better was that I did something to cause this rush of joy. I think the best part of this whole thing is that only a couple of people know that I had something to do with this. The rest of them? Totally clueless. I'm not the protector that IT wants, but I'm the protector that IT needs. Now enough humble-bragging. It's starting to make me feel like a douche.

In hindsight, I don't know what would've been more satisfying. Doing what I did or getting the job fair and square and firing Gabe. But if there's one thing I learned in life, you will do things that you are proud of that you will enjoy and you will do things that you're not so proud of but will really enjoy. This doesn't apply. I am both very proud of this and I really REALLY enjoyed this. This might come back later to bite me in ass, but for right now I think I'll enjoy it. But now the Director has to pick a new head of Tech Support. Either that or she'll give that job up to the next Director. It's been almost a few days since the interviews and we're still waiting on the results. Even if I don't end up getting the job, I still gained something from this. I have a better bond with my coworkers and got rid of the asshole in my office. If enough people like this story, I'll update you on if I got the job or not.

Moral of the story: Don't shoot an unfamiliar gun. You don't know how strong the kickback's gonna be.

TL;DR: I was considered for a job promotion but was demeaned by a superior who was also up for the job. I found out bad things about him and presented them during my interview and got him fired and possibly blacklisted from getting another job.

(source) story by (/u/KyuubiBlade)

#prorevenge #by /u/KyuubiBlade #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

[ivegotaheadlineforyou]

Welcome to the Dust Bowl

The Dust Bowl is the Hadestown modern au that @ratcarney and I have been working on for a long time. Welcome to the Dust Bowl, Hermes’ bar, and the world surrounding it. Orpheus bartends, Persephone owns a flower shop, Hades runs an electricity infrastructure company, and Eurydice is just trying to make it through the work day and get to graduation. Here, you’ll meet some of our major players, and get a glimpse into their world. 

Somehow Jo and I have made this world that now encompases about 4 google docs, spans over 25K words worth of fics and headcanons (and that’s only counting the ones we haven’t lost to tumblr messenger), involves way more office romance and family drama than we ever could have predicted, and Keeps Us Up At Night. So here’s your entry point into the world.

You can see Seph and Eurydice here.

(written by me: developed with Jo)

Summer was lingering into September. There wasn’t a September in recent memory that brought such beautiful sun, such delicious warmth. Days were long, nights warm, and she had never felt as full as she did right now.

But her days still started early and ended late. Eurydice’s alarm buzzed every morning at ten to seven. Some mornings when she woke up, she was greeted by the sight of a sleeping Poet, or to the sound of soft talking in the next room over, usually Hermes. This morning was more solitary. She woke up alone in her bed, stretching to turn off the alarm.

Eurydice’s apartment wasn’t tidy, per se, but it was functional — a studio, most of the space occupied by the biggest bed she could afford, a small love seat she had found for cheap online, and a kitchen that was more a glorified cabinet with a sink, a hot plate, and a coffee machine. Also plants. When Seph first came over to check out her digs, she was appalled by the lack of greenery. Now every spare inch of space that received even an ounce of sunlight was filled with plants. 

Her alarm sang and she begrudgingly pulled herself out of bed, and into the shower. She quickly fired off a text to the Poet as she waited for the water to heat up. She hadn’t seen him last night and it was now odd when she went more than a day without seeing him.

E: good morning poet 🌝 💞

She smiled to herself — he never did understand her emojis, but he put up with them. She knew it would be a couple hours before she heard anything back from him. The life of a bartender meant long nights and

Her morning went on uneventfully — She showered, got dressed in a black silk blouse and grey slacks, which made for appropriate, if boring, work attire, but she stashed another shirt in her bag for class, packed her school bag, and then was out the door. She would normally make coffee for herself but she had just paid her tuition and hadn’t had the cash to grocery shop that week. She would make some as soon as she got to the office.

Eurydice tried to get to work early — at least an hour before the boss man. She got more work done when he wasn’t around. Hadestown Corp was one of the largest businesses in the city. It provided infrastructure and electricity to all the big buildings in the state, and it was all run by Mister Hades himself. Eurydice used to work as his secretary, and it was a fine job but it was only part time work. She was smart, and Hades could see that. He could see that she would be better in a bigger role, so he promoted her to his personal assistant. They made a good team, even if she did refer to him as a dirty capitalist every once in a while.

***

Hades liked structure. Liked routine. He liked respect. He had worked tirelessly for over twenty years building the company to where it needed to be, building up a team of people that worked hard. He knew how to play his roles and took pride in how well he played them. To his wife, he was a loyal and strong husband. To his employees, he was the CEO, the fearless leader. 

In short, Hades didn’t truly make much note of the personal lives of his employees. 

Eurydice was the one exception. And he did not make it willingly. 

He walked into his office, nodding to Eurydice as he passed her desk. She had her headphones on, her legs crossed in her chair and she was busy typing something on the computer. She half waved at him, mumbling “give me ten” as he walked into his office. 

When she walked in, she had folders for him. 

“Good morning, Eurydice,” Hades said, sipping his coffee. 

“Don’t see what’s good about it, but yeah, good morning to you too,” she said, only half paying attention to him, her attention on the files in her hand. He rolled his eyes at her. 

“I need you to sign off on vacation time for a couple people — Ahmad, Tim, and Jessie all put in requests last week,” she placed a folder on his desk, her eyes focused and her movements sharp. “I want to get it back to them, like, yesterday. And then I need you to sign off on catering for the office holiday party.” She placed the next folder on top of the other one. 

“Which place?” He said, putting on his glasses to glance over the forms. 

“Same people as last time. But we’re doing open bar — I’m not being in charge of drink tickets again, and you’ve got the cash to spend so why not spend it on us.” Once again, he rolled his eyes at her. 

“Anything else?” 

“Uhh, yes. Guest lists for the fundraiser in November. I’ve already run it by Seph, and she approves.”

“I really wish you would stop referring to my wife so casually. I don’t refer to your partner in such a way.”

“Yeah,” Eurydice scoffed. “That’s because Persephone is my friend, and you instill the fear of the Gods in my boyfriend.”

He held his hand out and took the guest list and seating chart from her, opening it to glance at what his wife had added to the list. “I’ll make some changes and once I’ve signed off on it, I’ll let you know.”

Eurydice made a face at him, and raised her hands in surrender. “If Seph gets angry, I’ve got nothing to do with it,” She said as she turned to leave his office. “Your meetings are all updated in the calendar!”

“Thank you,” He murmured low enough that she could hear him say something but couldn’t make it out. She shut the door behind her, and he pulled up their shared calendar. It all looked the same as it had yesterday — meetings about the southern expansion of the company, mostly, but towards the middle of the day, there was a 40 minute slot just titled “Personal” with a ... was that a leaf emoji? He shook his head, making a mental note to remind Eurydice to stop using emojis on the company calendar. 

But he knew exactly what that personal slot meant. Lunch with the Misses. The day couldn’t go by fast enough. 

***

Some days it felt like wherever Persephone went, the sunshine followed. She didn’t spend much time around the office, but when she stopped by, it felt like a breath of fresh air. She brought flowers with her, plants for desks, and lots of smiles to the workers. 

Where Hades wore pinstripes, dark suits and polished shoes, she wore thrift store finds. When she walked into the office on this day, she was wearing a jumpsuit in her signature green, belted at the waist, and her hair piled up high on top of her head. 

“Hey sweet thing,” she said waving to Jessie as she walked in. Jessie had taken over Eurydice’s old gig when she was promoted, and the young girl always had a smile to spare for Persephone. Seph stopped for a moment to lean over her desk. 

“Good peonies won’t be around for another few weeks. I promise I didn’t forget,” she whispered, winking at Jessie. The young girl smiled wide. 

“Oh Miss —“ Jessie started, but Persephone cut her off. 

“Don’t ‘oh Miss Persephone’ me,” she said, pulling a small succulent out of her bag and placing it on her desk. “Now, if I catch you watering this more than once every two weeks, you’ll be in trouble!”

She continued her rounds. A sweet fern for Tim. A potted violet for Kimberly. Daisies for Afra. Foxglove and mint for the HR team. 

“And for you,” she said, walking over to Eurydice’s desk. “Something from Mister Hermes.” She pulled a wrapped sandwich out of her bag, and passed it to the girl. She rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. 

“Thanks, Seph,” she said, unwrapping it to see that it was one of the BLTs that she loved so much. “I’ll thank him when I see him tonight.”

“Don’t you have class tonight?”

She nodded, and sipped at her coffee. “Yup. Til seven, then I’ll head to the Dust Bowl.”

Seph slipped into an absolutely shit eating grin. “To see your Poet?” Eurydice laughed and shoved at her arm. 

“Yes, to see my Poet,” she said, half-delighting in the way Seph smiled. She had been the one to introduce them, to shove them together in a sense. She had known Orpheus since he moved in with Hermes, and started working the bar, and when she met Eurydice, she thought that they would hit it off. But the duo they had become had exceeded her expectations. 

“Well I might see you then. But now,” she said, picking up her bag and tapping Eurydice’s nose. “I’ve got a hot date.” Eurydice laughed and said goodbye as Seph walked up to Hades’ office door, knocking as she let herself in. 

Hades looked up from his paperwork, and smiled as soon as he saw his wife. 

“You’re early,” he said, standing up and walking over to her. He wrapped his arms around her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He leaned in to kiss her, and as their lips met, he dipped her slightly, just so that he could feel her smile against his lips. 

“I missed ya,” she mumbled before pulling away. He took her hand and led her to the desk. He pulled one of the chairs around so she could sit next to him. 

She placed her bag on his desk and he got to work unpacking the lunch she had brought them. Chicken with soft herbs. Fresh vegetables from her garden. She spoiled him and he knew it. But she loved to do it. 

Her husband had whatever the opposite of a green thumb was — the company he had worked so hard to build was in direct opposition to the wilderness and nature that she loved so dearly. But her man was just that — he was just a man. A bit of a softie when it came to her, and just perfect for her. 

So they sat and ate, and he held her hand, and smiled at her with those damn eyes of his. They looked like polar opposites from afar, but they had one thing in common—they loved each other fiercely. 

***

Hermes was the owner of the Dust Bowl—a mix between a student bar and someplace a little more trendy. Either way, it was a hole in the wall. You had to know it was there in order to find it. He had been running the joint for well over 30 years. When he was laid off from the post office years ago, he took his severance package and invested the lot into this place. He gave it all he had. 

And gods, it just kept on giving back to him. 

He lived in the apartment above the bar, had lived there since he bought the joint. The Dust Bowl was his whole life. It was where he met Calliope, a young girl in a desperate situation. She had frequented the bar in it’s early days until she found out that she was pregnant and on her own. Hermes was there, along with her sisters, to walk with her through it all.

When Orpheus was born, Cal asked Hermes to be the boy’s Godfather. Which meant that he got to see Orpheus whenever he could, was there to watch him grow up, play his first instrument. It meant that, when Cal found out she was sick, when she found out she wasn’t going to get better, and when she passed away, leaving behind a boy of seventeen, Hermes had to be there to pick up the pieces.

 He shared the space with Orpheus for a little while after Cal died. He barely ate, barely spoke, barely moved. It took long months of support, lots of tears, and finally some tough love from his Godfather and Aunt Euterpe, but he slowly started moving. He started playing music again. He started living again. They lived together until recently, when the boy decided he needed his own space -- he was ready for it. It was always a temporary arrangement anyway, and Hermes was glad to see him up on his feet. 

The Dust Bowl had given him Calliope, a beautiful friendship. It gave him Orpheus, too, his sweet godson. And as time went on, it gave him Seph. And now Eurydice. 

The dinner rush was just starting, and Hermes threw an apron at the boy behind the bar. “You’ll wreck your clothes if you don’t put this on,” He said laughing, and Orpheus smiled and slipped it on, going back to pulling drafts. 

Hermes still worked the bar every so often, but he spent most of the time at his spot, ringing in orders and watching the ebb and flow of patrons. He liked his perch, liked getting to know who came in and when, and who they were with and why. 

“Will Eurydice be stopping by tonight?” Hermes asked Orpheus when he was finished with customers. Orpheus nodded,  wiping down a couple glasses. 

“She just texted, and she said she was on her way soon,” Orpheus said with a smile. Every time that boy smiled, Hermes wanted to knock on wood, point to the skies. It was a rough go after Orpheus lost his mom, and for a while, it felt like they would never see him smile again. 

Then Eurydice entered their lives and it felt like it was only uphill. She had been living in town for years, taking classes at the university and working for Hadestown Corp. But it was only when she had been promoted to Hades’ assistant, and when she met Seph, that she stepped into the Dust Bowl for the first time. With her, she brought a cool breeze and the feeling that something exciting might happen. And she upended their lives for the better.

Hermes was broken from his train of thought by the sound of the bell on the door.

“Speak of the girl, and she shall appear!” 

***

The sound of Hermes words and his laugh made the Poet perk up, smiling as he saw the girl walk through the door. 

The regular patrons knew Orpheus and Eurydice from afar, so they just smiled when he left his post at the bar to run over and greet her. She reached up to cup his cheek, and he placed a soft hand at her waist, as they leaned in to share a quick kiss. She pulled him in, and was the one to pull back. Always in control, she was, and he was always willing to let her take it.

“How was class?” He asked, taking her hand and leading her to her favourite spot at the bar. She had changed clothes, swapping out her work blouse for a white cropped t-shirt. He recognized it as one of his own that had gotten holes at the hem that she must have cut up. She looked stunning as always. 

“Boring,” she said, plopping down at her seat and dropping her bag on the counter. “Ran into Urania on the way there, though. She says hi.” Orpheus smiled at the name of his aunt who worked at the same university Eurydice attended. 

“No bags on the bar, Girl,” Hermes shouted down to her, and she rolled her eyes. “Sorry, brother!” She shouted back, pushing her bag onto the seat beside her, before turning her attention back to Orpheus. 

“How was your day?” She asked, reaching for his hand, which he gave her. She tangled their fingers together, smiling at the slightly tacky feeling of his fingers, no doubt due to the alcohol.  She ran her thumb over the heel of his hand, and his calloused fingers danced against hers.

“It was good. Did some writing,” He said smiling wide at her, and she grinned back. 

“Finish anything?” She asked. He was cagey with his work that he deemed unfinished, and rarely was his work ever finished. 

“Not yet, but almost. Soon.” She nodded and leaned over, placing a kiss on his lips once again. “Come home with me?” He asked when she pulled back.

“Sure. But you’ve got customers, Poet,” she grinned, leaning back in her chair. He blushed a bit when he realized and he pushed off the bar to start making drinks. 

She hopped off her seat and walked over to Hermes. The man had an air of cool to him, with his shoes shined, and his suit crisp. He looked timeless and placeless in the best possible way. “Thanks for lunch. You really don’t have to do that.” Hermes scoffed and brushed her off.

“I know you’re strapped for cash right now, kid. It’s the least I can do,” Hermes said, placing a hand on her arm. Orpheus was watching the interaction from where he stood pouring wine for a table. Eurydice had been something akin to a lone wolf before he had met her, and now she had more people than she knew what to do with. When Orpheus and Eurydice officially became a couple, she gained Seph, Hermes, and the rest of Orpheus’ family, including his eight aunts. Eurydice loved fiercely and she attracted people who did the same. 

“What are your plans for tonight?” Eurydice asked when Orpheus had finished with customers. He nodded to Hermes, and asked “do you want me to close up tonight?” Hermes shook his head. 

“You kids have fun,” He said to them. “Once we’ve hit last call at 10, you’re free to go. Just don’t forget to restock the bar.”

“I’ve got that,” she said, hopping behind the bar, and grabbing Orpheus’ notepad from his back pocket. She leaned in to kiss his cheek and he whispered a quick ‘thank you’ as she did. Orpheus loved the Dust Bowl, but the downstairs stock room sometimes sent him into a panic. It was too far underground, and the space was too tight for his liking. It meant a lot that, without prompt or asking, Eurydice jumped in to take over. She knew how debilitating his panic attacks could be — she would never forget finding him on the floor, shaking like a leaf, the first time she had seen him during a panic attack. She would do whatever she could to prevent them.

“Stop hopping the bar,” Hermes said to her, shaking his head, but she was already over it, leaning down under the bar, counting bottles and cans and kegs, tallying up what was left. Once she had made a few trips back and forth to stock the bar, and once Orpheus had called for last rounds, the two wished Hermes a good night, as they headed out.

Once outside of the bar, Eurydice pulled him off to the side of the pavement and took his face in her hands. She pulled him down to her level and gently kissed him. He responded with enthusiasm, his hands finding her hips, just like she taught him how she liked it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him like she was breathing him in, and he gave himself over to her.

It could have been seconds or minutes or months or years, but when Eurydice pulled back, gone was the weight of the work day, and the pressure of her classes. All that was left behind was a look of relaxation, and it was all Orpheus could do to not kiss her right back. He wanted nothing more than to see her relaxed and well rested, to see her happy with no reservations.

He squeezed her hips slightly, and she smiled gently at him. “Hi,” she said, nudging his forehead with hers.

He smiled. “Hi.”

“You gonna take me home?” she asked, and he nodded softly. 

“If you’ll let me,” he said, his voice light. Eurydice looked up into his big, beautiful eyes, and she questioned how she didn’t follow him home the first night she met him. Orpheus, with his big heart, and eyes that hid nothing, had told her he was in love with her after only a few days of knowing her. She tried to keep her distance, but there was something magnetic about him. She couldn’t keep herself away, couldn’t remove herself from his orbit.

She kissed him again, softly this time. Still filled with passion and want, but gentler, and only briefly. “Always,” she said. Orpheus knew that four months ago she never would have dreamed of uttering that word to someone. He knew how tightly guarded she kept herself. And his heart fluttered at the thought that he was allowed to hear her say these things. That he was allowed to be the one who got to take her home, and kiss her, and tell how special she was. It was Orpheus who she had chosen, baggage and all. 

He threaded his fingers through hers, and they started their walk back to Orpheus’ apartment, surrounded by a city still clinging onto summer, and blissfully in love.

#Dust Bowl AU #Jo tag #RatCarney #hadestown fanfiction #hadestown fanfic #hadestown #orpheus #eurydice #persephone #hades #hermes #The Muses #I love this au with my whole entire heart #Thanks Jo for doing this with me and being my partner in crime ilysm

[lady-olive-oil]

So Into You: Chapter 1

A/N: Hey hey hey! Let’s do this y’all! Welcome to the first chapter of So Into You. I’ll be on vacation soon so, this chapter is being uploaded, along with chapter 6 of Work Out. Which I’ll post tomorrow. If you’d to be tagged in future chapters, let me know!!

Warnings: None, except for sexual imagery

Word Count: 2k+ [this is a good one]

Choxie Squad: @maddiestundentwritergaines || @crushed-pink-petals || @themyscxiras || @honeychicana || @dc41896 || @stillevansbae || @areubeingserved || @swirlevans || @4ftwonder || @bugngiz || @mangos4u

_______________

“Chris! Slow your dumb-ass down!”

“Rude! Make me!”

“You gon’ learn today!”

What does it look like for two grown ass adults, running to get to the Cars Land ride in peace? Like a bunch of giddy kids. But who could blame us? We barely get time to hangout with each other anyway, so why not relax at Disneyland and possibly Universal?

A few people stopped us to take pictures, and even though Chris is a bigger star, I got a few fans to ask me for pictures. It made me feel great inside and out, to know that my work has made waves with the world. I must be doing something right. Plus, having a nearly 40 heat old best friend who's willing to act like a child with you is always fun.

“What am I gonna learn Ro? How to do a victory dance, after beating you at Toy Story Mania? Cause I won, twice.” He booped my nose, causing me scrunch it a bit.

I arched a brow and grabbed his hand playfully. “One: you cheated. Two; don't touch my nose. You don’t get to touch me besides a hug. Don’t need helicopter parent Delilah, tryin to check me again. Remember last time?” 

“Yeah I apologize for that. It wasn’t right for her to show up at your birthday dinner, unannounced and caused a scene. I still owe you for that one.”

“Yeah you do. Disney Land will suffice for now. You also owe me dinner from way back when.” Nudging him a bit, before we got in line for the ride, we took a few more pictures with a few folks and chatted.

The birthday dinner fiasco was a disaster. Delilah showed up at Nobu, uninvited, to my birthday dinner hosted by the cast and crew of Avengers: Infinity War. Causing a scene as to why he didn’t tell her where he went, and why didn’t he invite her. He had her apologize to me for being rude and disruptive. I only accepted it because she’s Chris’ girl, but deep down, I felt disregarded.

She didn’t care who saw, she just wanted to let folks know that she was there. I never hated my birthday anymore than I did that day. The next day however, Chris Door Dashed me some food over. It did make it a bit better, but I’m still not he fence about her. She had no regard for privacy or human decency.

Chris rugged on my hand, causing me to get out of my trance. “Come on Ro, It’s our turn. What’s on ya mind? You got that look on your face.”

Helping me into the car, I let out an exaggerated sigh. 

“My bad. Just uh, Going down memory lane about the party last year. History isn’t going to repeat itself is it?”

“Roxanne. I promise it won’t, she won’t come near you as long as I’m around.”

With a reassuring nod, I focused back on track as the car zoomed along, with the sounds of Rascal Flats to bring up the momentum.

“Life is a highway! I wanna ride it all night long. If you're going my way, I wanna drive it all night long.” The inner kids in Chris and I couldn’t resist the sing-a-long. 

Glancing over at him got me thinking. Seeing how happy he was and just enjoying himself, it made me realize I was doing something right by being his friend. I wasn’t going anywhere, yet I kept thinking he’d choose her every time.

After getting off the ride we decided to head to downtown Disney. I was craving pizza so why not.

Given the circumstances of our friendship, he doesn’t know I’ve liked him for years. All this pent up lust for a 30 something year old black woman, ain’t right by any means. To be completely honest, I’ve been in love with my best friend since we were kids. 

Cliche I know, but something about him made me realize that just having him be my best friend isn’t enough for me. My girlfriends know about how I feel; even their boyfriends know. 

How do you tell your best friend, of over thirty years, that you have dreams about then every night? How you picture them in your head, when you’re having sex with other men? You can’t just say that out loud. That’s why I’ve been blocking it out by dating other folks.

I dream of kissing down his chest, leaving hickies along in my wake. Grabbing onto his sculpted hips for leverage, licking his neck teasingly. He's a sight to behold, a true masterpiece of fine art. See what I mean by the dreams being too elaborate? Boy is it harder than I thought.

Chris’ POV:

Taking in the surroundings as much as I could, I backtracked to the day of the party. It was a mess, Delilah was causing an unnecessary scene and essentially made Roxie cry because she had wine poured on her head.

She didn’t talk about that part much. Having red Merlot in your hair was never a good thing, unless it’s New Years. At that point Delilah and I took a break because my friendship with Roxie meant more to me than anything. 

Granted, all my past relationships I’ve had all loved Roxie. Thrilled to have her around, but yet Delilah is pushing her away from me. Being demanding and telling me that I can’t spend time with Roxie anymore, even though we work together and that’s just enough.

It didn’t make sense to me at all. Hence the current “break” we’re on now. She doesn’t understand boundaries at all. 

Not gonna lie, I have been feeling something lately but I can’t describe it quite right. I don’t know whether it’s infatuation or love for my best friend. If it’s the latter, then I think it’s time I accept it. It’s been a long time coming anyway. 

Smiling at a few fans along the way, taking pictures again, made everything relax a bit. I even checked my phone to see if anything happened, while I enjoyed being a kid again with Roxie. Just notifications and love from our fans about our day, then something caught my attention. 

Delilah, had sounded off my find my iPhone alert and I didn’t notice till now. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

I had to get it together. Couldn’t have another birthday fiasco. I took the liberty of ordering a large pepperoni pizza, with bacon and jalapenos for us. I noticed the happy smile on Roxie’s face. One of many great things I loved about her. 

‘Oh shit, I really got it bad.’ I thought to myself, once I shook my head and focused.

“What are you so smiley about over there, pretty lady?”

She took a bite of her slice, doing a little dance in the process. “Food. Ya feeding me today, that’s why.”

“I always found a way to your heart huh? Through food mostly.”

“True. But for the most part, keeping you happy is the fun part of our friendship. I need to make sure you’re ok at all times Evans. Vice versa, cause no guys have been right for me anyway.” This time she bopped me on my nose.

The actin along made me scrunch up my face in playful annoyance, earning a chuckle from hr. It eased my stress levels a bit until, I heard that one fatal voice, that shattered the glass of the house of my concentration.

“Hi baby. I didn’t know you’d be here.” Delilah places a kiss upon my cheek, and waves a bit towards Roxie. That’s weird, she never waved at her. She did know I was here, I didn’t find out she used the alert till after I turned my location back on.

“Uh Yeah. I didn’t think I you’d want to seeing as though were on break currently.” With a slight shrug, I noticed the twinge in her forehead. Roxie kept eating her pizza enjoying the show.

The pet names started, along with her petting my head as she sat on my lap without my consent. “I’m still your girlfriend actually, even if we are on break. I care about you boo.” 

The subtle eye rolls, a fake gagging, from Roxie was priceless. I slid her off my lap and she sat next to me. The two women had a stare off till one of them cracked.

“Have something to say Roxie?” 

“It’s Alexander or Roxanne to you. And no I don’t, because if I did that would require me to nice. Which we both know there’s no way in hell you're capable of doing so.” Stuffing the pizza crust into her mouth, she got up and headed to the front register. I’m assuming for dessert.

The gasp that emitted from Delilah’s lips was comical. “She shouldn't get to talk to me like that. I’m your girlfriend Christopher  not her.”

I had to set her straight, so looked her dead in her eyes. “Here we go again. Delilah, we’ve been on and off for how long? Few months. Dating for close to a year now, I suppose? You have to respect that she’s going to be around forever.”

“I don’t like it, at all. But for you I’ll do anything for you because I love you.”

That phrase was foreign to me hearing from others, besides my friends; family and Roxie. Part of me wanted to hear her say it for real. The dreams I have of her late at night don't help either.

I dream about kissing her neck as gently as possible, holding her close to me. Like she’s a fragile art piece that’s only meant to be observed. I really need to get it together, this has gone maddening.

“Love ya too, Delilah. Now we can talk tomorrow if ya want, I still want to hang with my best friend.” Accepting the Captain America theme cupcake from Roxie, she chilled right back next me with her Black Panther cupcake.

To smite Roxie, she kissed me hard and then walked away with a sway in her hips. “See ya baby boy.”

“Will she ever learn that she gotta have an ass to sway her hips?” Roxie chuckled a little, causing me to join in.

 Using the Steve Rogers pleading look, I had to do it. “I shouldn’t be laughing but I am. Don’t be mean please, I want this to work out. Please?”

“Fine. I’ll try, for you. ‘Boo.’” Now she felt like mocking, flipping her hair off her shoulder and batting her eyelashes. She’ll be the death of me.

“You are so wrong. Let’s go catch the fireworks before it gets too dark. Got an early day tomorrow.”

“That we do. You owe me a piggyback ride too.” Making sure we had everything she, threw the empty pizza pan anyway and hopped on my back as we journeyed back to Snow Whites castle.

“We also could have gone to the parking garage too.”

“What’s the fun I that? The castle is where we’ll get the best pictures in.”

Setting her down on the ground to lean against the railing to get a good view, we may have bought a few light up toys.

“Ok facts.” The fireworks illuminated her face like a stain glass window in a cathedral. One of the most breathtaking sights I’ve ever seen. 

As the show went on, something pulled us closer. Not sure what was going on but, our pinky fingers locked. The drive to her house was long but fulfilling. The day couldn't have gotten any better.

“Rox, you’re home now sweetheart. Imma head out too.” I sat her in her bed and pulled the covers up over her, till she grabbed my arm.

She mumbled gently, loud enough so I could hear. Even with the fan on. “Stay, please? You got clothes here anyway.” 

Smiling gently with a nod, I slipped in next to her and cuddle her like I always did. I wish my desires weren’t screaming at me in my head to go for it. Yet her sad excuse of boyfriend isn’t competition to me.

He’s the least of my worries.

#chris evans x roxanne alexander #Chris Evans #roxie alexander #Ashley Blaine Featherson #So Into You #so into you chapter 1 #chris evans x poc oc

[unproduciblesmackdown]

every other even starting at 4!

lmaooo ty i was like “uh oh, Evens but also Alternating Ones?? can i remember both things” and well the answer would’ve been Yes anyways, but then i was like oh right that’s like. multiples of 4.........it’s a dubious if i can put “took a lot of math classes and i’m decent at math, i think” in that Talents question later on lol

4: What’s your favorite part of the day?

it depends lol....i’ve got that night owl thing going on so like maybe 10p - 4am are my Peak Hours probably like, naturally......but not like i hate daylight......Evening in summer months is good like. shit isn’t plummeting into darkness in 2 min after 2 hrs of shitty lighting like in winter......

8: How does someone become important to you?

idk it’s Not Hard but also it is lmao like. we just keep regularly interacting and we vibe? Bro......We Are Friends

12: What can you spend forever talking about?

lmaooooo so many things. like, generally i can just spend Forever Talking b/c irl (and to an extent online lol) i am a chatterbox. very rarily In Practice though b/c i have to be around ppl i want to / am comfortable just talking freely with. but i’ll like, leap on whatever opportunity to talk about some shit i’m interested in / it having already been Brought Up.....amazing restraint from me sometimes when maybe an acquaintance makes a tweet and i Could come crashing in with comments but i refrain

16: What is something you really want?

stares at hands.....big question......but i never have like 5 Year Plan / or many super Concrete specific things, and there’s a lot going on right now so it’s like, as step one, i think i and all of us want to Not be in a pandemic

20: Have you ever had a dream that made you wonder if it was actually a memory?

not that i know of (i.e. didn’t forget lol) cuz the only time my dreams really Draw From Life very directly is like “here’s some Anxiety Scenario dreams” or the location is a school i went to and stuff like that

24: Have you ever met someone you never thought you’d become close to?

i mean there’s been people i’ve been like “i’m not interested in interacting with this person” and then Not had a close relationship with lol but if the implication for this is “and then you Did become close to them, despite your expectations” it’s like.......no not really lmao. ppl have to talk to me for like weeks or months before i realize like “oh right, they’re probably doing that b/c they like you / want to” so it can’t really sneak up on me lol

28: Do you ever make impulsive decisions?

if i’m in a group or w/e i’m never trying to make decisions but if it’s just me yeah i can make kinda impulsive decisions lol.....usually just in wild ways like “hmm i want to do [whatever] so here i go doing it”

32: If you could go back in time and re-live your life up to this point, knowing everything that you know now, would you make different decisions?

really i just wouldn’t mess with the timeline lol......maybe about some smaller details but even then. i could say like “oh i could learn a language” lol but that’s asking an elementary schooler to like, take that initiative or w/e

36: Favorite book quote(s)?

well i haven’t even read the book but i guess my catchphase Invoked Book Quote is the “anger is a type of geography” one, the full quote of which i Saved just so that i could conveniently invoke it in full whenever i mention it:

Anger is a type of geography. The ways out of it expand the more you love a person. The more forgiveness you might be willing to afford each other opens up new and unexpected roads. And so, for some, staying angry at someone you love is a reasonable option. To stay angry at someone you know will forgive your anger is a type of love, or at least it is a type of familiarity that can feel like love.

and ig it ties into this stance where it’s not like “Never Being In Conflict is the ideal for good relationships” and instead is like “even if you get along with people you like the vast majority of the time, probably conflict just happens in the course of Interacting With Other Humans and can be be viewed as an Opportunity where, in the course of navigating a conflict, a relationship can evolve / improve, and also if you think Zero Conflicts Ever is the definition / goal of the Best relationships you’re going to avoid even small conflicts with anyone and probably that lack of communication / requiring ppl to trade the discomfort of Conflict / Change for the discomfort of [if you are at all upset about something you have no recourse] where the latter is definitely worse long-term”.................also related to the last time i Dropped This Quote, for some reason the other day i was remembering the story lauren told about her and will’s tiff unfolding behind the scenes of a performance......rip to how yeah i’m sure it wasn’t fun but the Funny-After-The-Fact Story sure is charming re: like oh all these friends having and getting past fights and etc lmao and in conclusion i rly ought to rewatch the bwayjackbox bmc reunion lol..........also despite me talking about “so great when people Can Be Mad at each other” at length here i’m not raring to brawl with you guys or anything lmao.....

40: What makes you feel confident?

idk lol like there’s always “when you wear an outfit you like” but my outfits are like “shorts and a tee” so it’s not hard. although sometimes it’s like, well my comfortable shirts that are about like “I’m Gay” or sm shit, layers there. would i get a Boost from wearing the Lgw tee?? probably, b/c it’s like, yeah out here subtly caping for wroland really and his amazing solo number, etc......time will tell. still storing that away for Worthy Occasions that aren’t just like [me sweating into it] lmao. also when you’re around other lgbtq people in person even if they’re strangers it’s like hell yeah just overall Stats Boost

44: Do you consider yourself talented?

i mean ppl get Talented through spending a lot of time on Whatever and like, wanting to put that attention and effort into it.......like, i’ve done some cooking / baking just In My Life and so i’m hardly an expert but i’ve got like, some solid knowledge of what i’m doing i think lmao......practiced ballet for a little over a decade and i ended up decent at that........my Ability To Draw is solid for what i want out of it (which is just me: drawing gay niche shit for the self-indulgence of it) and that got a boost from like, i just had a tendency to mess around drawing shit all the time as a kid / took some art classes in like elementary school, did a lot of painting tho lol i’m not great at colors.....damn took art classes in college too i guess, i forget about that. but really drawing-wise the real Experience i got was like, realizing a decade ago like “hey i can just make and share self-indulgent niche gay fanart” so that was my motivation and i’ve been somewhat regularly making stuff the whole time.......the talent of Befriending Cats lol but that’s just “just be chill with them”

48: Have you ever started to try learning about a subject only to realize it’s not something you enjoy?

not really lmao cuz like i’m out here barely ever starting to try to learn a subject that i Do enjoy

[bodyswapmischief]

The Promotion

- Hey are you there ... did you get the file.

- Yeah, I just looked over it this morning.

- And...

- Well, these doctor records show that you have become fat enough ... overachiever lol, but send a picture so I can see if you look fat enough.

- WTF dude. You just told me to get fat. Never said anything about looking fat "ENOUGH." If you don't hold up your end...

*Picture Sent*

-Damn what happened to you ;) lol. You don't have anything to worry about, your size is just right. Well, I guess you could always get bigger. More money in it for you.

And I wouldn't be making threats to anyone, with that massive gut. Might get a heart attack. You aren't getting any younger lol. Plus, I can ran circles around your fat ass lmao. See you at work tomorrow, and wear something sexy.

- Fuck you, I'm not your new sexy toy and I'm not even gay.

- Don't worry give it some time. I like playing the long game. And I'm serious, be careful about your stress; I don't want you dying on me ;)

After the phone call, I threw myself on the bed. It creaked with the massive weight that just suddenly hit it. Oh shit I forgot; I need to be more gentle, I thought to myself. Looking down all I could see was my massive gut. I felt blood move quickly through my veins and my heart beating fast. Still worked up from those text from my boss. What the hell did I do to myself? Was it all worth it?

It's been a little before a year since this journey has began. If you could believe it, I was at peak fitness. My arms were massive, with muscle. I didn't have this gut, jiggling with every step I took. No, I had abs that anyone would kill for. My legs were powerful. Now they used what ever power is left to carry my fat ass.

I worked for a big company, for about ten years. I started when I was in my mid 20's. Yeah I would get pay raises, but I wanted more. I wanted to move up in the company. I've seen coworkers move up. Mostly women. A few men. And those men all ended up fat. I always told myself, I wouldn't let that happen to me. But, I know better now. I know the deal they made.

To put it simply someone had a heart attack and a position opened up. I saw my opportunity and went into my boss's office demanding that promotion. He was a man in his late 50's but was incredibly fit. If you didn't know better, you might mistake him for being in his mid 40's. However impressive his body was, mine was greater. His aging body required more work and focus. Something running a busy life doesn't leave you. Maybe if he was younger, he would have a body the rivaled mine.

He looked up at me and smiled. "Close the door, so we can continue this conversation," he said. I explained all the reasons I was qualified for the promotion. But. I could tell he wasn't paying attention to my words. He eyes were focusing on my body. He had lust and rage in his eye.

"Okay, I heard enough" he finally interrupted. "Let me tell you the truth...I'm jealous of you. Why do you think you haven't been promoted in the 10 years you have been working here. You are probably one of the best employees, and it is because of all that charisma and fucking hot body. I hate you ... but, I love you. That's why I just give you enough to want to stay. Every year I wait, for you to slip up and let your self go. But, no you keep getting more fucking ripped and hot. How is that even possible? Where do you find the time?"

I just sat there dumb founded. My boss's voice ringing through my ears. A mixture of trying to convince me of something and yelling. I never heard him talk like this. I finally cut in "What the fuck is all this about."

He stops and pulls himself together. "Well right now, I realized you are the perfect man for the promotion. My new right hand man. But, I need to tell you. I have a fetish. I love watching men that are fit, healthy, and younger than me let themselves go. I like to see them get fat. This is the one condition for your promotion."

"Your fucking sick. What the hell is wrong with you. I can go to HR right know!" I responded.

"Yes you can. And, I will probably lose everything or for every pound you gain you get this added to your yearly earnings..." He stops and starts writing something on a slip of paper. He hands it to me.10,000 dollars. He continues, "And the minimum weight I want you you to gain is 50 pounds. So, you would be making half a million dollars every year."

I stood there in shock. My mind weighing all the options. I could quit and be stuck with no job. Get my boss fired and lose out on this deal. Or be rich, save up money for a few years and then quit. And, lose the weight I would gain. "Okay, I'll do it."

My boss smile and brought out a scale. I went on and it would read 187 pounds for the last time. I signed the paper work and he explained that to start off I would go on a 6 month cruise. To help me fatten up. And so I went along with it. I showed up with my bags packed. I even bought myself some bigger clothes, for my expected weight gain. I noticed my ticket was different. Printed on blue paper, and when I got to the front it was clear I was a "special guest." The staff brought me straight to the medical room.

I waited for a while. Then finally a doctor and nurse entered the room. The nurse was pushing a tray with a syringe filled with blue liquid. "Mr. Fuller?" The doctor asked. "Yes I respond." The doctor nods and ask me to take off my shirt. He sees my muscled up body and shakes his head, in pity. "And are you sure you want to do this?" I nod. He sighs, "I guess if I was offered that deal too, I would have a hard time turning it down." He grabs the syringe and brings it closer to my arm.

"Wait was is that for." I motioned to the syringe. "Weren't you told what was going to happen." The doctor asked quickly pulling the syringe away. "Yeah? My boss wants me to get fat." I responded. "Damn, he always pulls this shit. Nurse get Mr. Sterling on the phone." He says before turning his attention on to me. "And how do you think that is going to happen?" He asked. “By coming on this cruise and eating?"

The doctor shakes his head ... "That is only part of it. Based on those abs ..." he begins to rub and examine parts of my body " this body is going to need help to gain weight. See, we are not going to be baby sitting you making sure you get fat. This is all on you and how much work you put in.Your stomach is not use to eating beyond its limits. Also based on your body, you are not one to just sit and relax. So any work you do in trying to gain weight will just be worked off. Also, there is the requirement of having to maintain a 50 pound weight gain. Just .01 pounds off at any moment and the contract can be void. So this shot will help with all of that. It will make you hungry. When you are full it will be less painful. It will help your stomach stretch, it will make you slightly lazier. But, with the cost that any weight you gain will be permanent. All these symptoms will be removed after the trip, when we give you the antidote, but like I said any weight gain prior to the antidote will be permanent."

"Doctor Mr. Sterling is on the phone." The nurse chimed in. "You think about everything I said." The doctors said as he left the room. I could hear him yelling at the phone. "You fucker! You brought me another ill informed client ..."

His voice zoned out ... as I weighed this new information given to me. I signed the paper ... all that money is just one shot away. But, is fifty permanent pounds worth it. I would be 230 pounds. With all that money I would be making ... would I even care about being 50 pounds heavier. I mean I am getting older ... I wasn't going to be fit my whole life. The doctor came back in.

"I'm ready." I said. He looked at me and halfheartedly gave me the shot. "If it ever seems to much for you we can stop at any time. I will give you the antidote early. If you want you can come in for monthly weigh-ins. And I will give you the antidote when you hit the 50 pounds you need to meet the requirements, so you don't gain any unnecessary permanent weight."

The first month went on. I Stuffed my face eating everything I never let myself eat, before. I was always eating, always had a snack bag. I did try to stay active. Swimming, running, and using the gym. But each day, my body would be able to do less.

(I would spend hours every day at gym. Now I could barely do 3 hrs a week. I know I am never going to lose this weight, but I just like the way I feel after working out. It reminds me of who I use to be. I did have to leave my old gym. First because a lot of people knew me. I would always have to answer a million questions about my weight gain. They would also give me the pity: well just keep working out you'll have your body back in no time. But, I could never tell them the truth. Secondly, the the gym was more for hardcore people. So, I would always get disgusted looks. The last straw was when I was using a treadmill mill and some asshole came up and said "are you done yet fatty you,re wasting my time. Stop hogging the treadmill, that gut isn’t going anywhere anytime soon." Luckily I did find a fat friendly gym)

By the end of the first month I gained 10 pounds and had a panic attack. Did I really want to do this? I felt depressed. I realized these weigh ins were not good for my mental health. I told this to the the doctor and he was understanding, but still wanted me to come in. However, I didn't go back until the trip ended.

I spent months eating, sleeping, laying around, and watching TV. I also tried exercising, to no effect, when I had the energy. By the end the biggest clothes I bought were tight and barely able to cover my body. I couldn't fit into my underwear. I kept my pants unbuttoned. My shirt hugged every new fat curve of my body. Every thing was skin tight. I went back to the doctor and he weighed me. I told him I didn't want to know. The damage was done no matter what. He gave me the antidote. And I went home, on a Sunday. I climbed on my scale and it read 270. I felt my heart sink. I gained 83 pound. 33 more than I needed. And to be honest, I cried the rest of the day. Mourning my old life and getting use to my new one.

The next day, I called up the office. My boss told me to use the next 3 months to become adjusted to my new life. He saw my paper work from the doctor and gave me the full years check. 630,000 dollars. At the end of the 3 months I would need to send an update from a doctor he recommended, a new doctor that would understand my case.

So, I did what he suggested. I went out in public. I bought myself new clothes. Joined a new gym, knowing I will never lose this weight. I was able to gain some new confidence in this body. The trip to the doctor was a new experience. He explained to me that this weight I have gained had real side effects on my body. It turns out 1% of users gain health problems. I was one of them. My cholesterol levels raised, but with constant exercising and eating right I can reduce them. But, I learned I now have permanent high blood pressure.

The doctor continued to squeeze my fat and I got new sensations I never felt before. I did numerous test. A Stress test where I ran on a treadmill. Unluckily, it was in front of a mirror and I saw how ridiculous I looked running.

I will have to watch what I eat. Which is okay, after the antidote shot my appetite returned to normal. But it sucks having having a fat body with out the benefits of being able to eat whatever I want. I will live the rest of my life as a healthy person living in a fat person's body.

Now, I am just laying here, waiting to see what happens tomorrow. And, thinking of all the money I will be making. Was it worth? I guess time will tell.

#body #swap #male #weight #gain #transformation #story #stories #tf #mischief #bodyswapmischief #thepromotion #theinterview

[dasfuzzy]

This thing still exists...?

So...I guess I'll start off by saying that the main reason for this post is because I got the Tumblr app a while back and have periodically gotten the notification that someone has liked my blog (hello, by the way), so this is twofold:

1) Give an update because, y'know, I haven't touched this thing in a long time, so there's a lot to update, and

2) Find out who's been liking my blog and why. So I guess comment, message, note, or whatever the hell people do here and let me know what got you interested in my ramblings.

I guess the three main things I would discuss here were my job, my love life, and my situation in general, so those'll be the primary focus for now. I guess I'll start with my love life just to get that out of the way as it's typically the focal point and most salacious content here (and possibly the most interesting to y'all).

Well, I'm gonna tell you right off the bat that things have changed drastically since I last was here. I will say that if you're expecting me to tell all, you're gonna be disappointed. I know in the past I never really held back on my feelings and about dishing out the truth, but this is a different situation than any in the past. All I'll really say is that since August of 2017 I've been in a committed relationship with someone that I truly love and can see myself being with for the rest of my days. Our relationship hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows, however, mostly due to nagging injuries and surgeries stemming from a work-related injury on her part (she used to be a physical therapy assistant), but I've done everything in my power to accommodate her and make things work. It hasn't been easy and it's taken it's toll on me, but at the end of the day I try to remain optimistic that things will get better with time.

Regarding my job...er, jobs, I've bounced around a bit since I was last here. I think I was still at Dave & Busters, but I was able to leave there to become a preschool/toddler teacher at a highly-accredited daycare center called Bright Horizons. It wasn't the easiest job and with me being who I am (profane and a fan of mature content, a la Game of Thrones, Walking Dead and wrestling) I felt like I was walking on eggshells at times, especially because the director was a bit of a prude, but I really enjoyed it. I was one of only two male teachers in a facility of approximately 30 teachers, so the kids really enjoyed the change of pace. I learned a lot being there, especially since I only had a few early education courses under my belt beforehand and I had some great mentors guiding me along.

Unfortunately, I made the decision to leave after 18 months for a couple of reasons:

1) The landlady finally sold the house, so my mom and I had to move (more on that later), and

2) There was an incident where I might've let slip a bit of profanity on the job. Basically it was nap time and most of the children were sleeping. I was in one of the preschool rooms at the time and at that age, some children just don't want to sleep, so we have to either try to soothe them or at least do what we can to keep them quiet so they don't wake the other children up. So I'm with another, younger teacher sitting with the non-sleepers, one of which was on the autistic spectrum and had an action plan in place that inform us of what we can and cannot do in certain situations that normally wouldn't apply to other children. Anyways, that particular child was not having any of nap/quiet time and decided to start walking around the room. In my frustration, I might've uttered under my breath "what the fuck". A few days later, I get a call from the director and she asks me if I used any profanity while in the classroom. I tell her that I don't recall doing so; she tells me that another teacher informed her that I had and she would need me to type up a formal statement of what I recall from that particular event. I stuck to my guns and said that I honestly don't recall doing so and, after submitting that to her, I was put on an indefinite administrative leave. As much as I loved that job, I took that as a sign that maybe it was time to find another job, something that pays better because I knew I was going to be moving within the next few months.

On the first day of my "leave", I asked friends if they knew of any good-paying jobs that had openings. I was only making $12.40/hr, which is only $.40 over minimum wage, so I was definitely open to suggestions. My best friend told me to apply to where he worked, Fitzgerald Tile, because they were looking for warehouse workers. He said they could start me at $18, so I leapt at the opportunity. I went down that Monday and met the warehouse supervisor to have an interview. I'll give you an almost word-for-word retelling of how that interview went:

Him: "Do you know how to drive a forklift?"

Me: "Yeah."

Him: "Great, you're hired."

Me: "Oh...okay."

Okay, that might be stretching it a bit, but that was more or less how it went. Really, he outlined some of the basic duties, asked if I was able to lift up to 50lbs unassisted, know that I'm expected to work 50 hours a week, then had me fill out the application, mostly for the sake of having it on file. He told me that I would just have to meet with the HR person to finalize the paperwork and discuss pay and my schedule, then I'd be good to go. Here's the thing: I never got to talk to the HR person. Ever. I was waiting for over an hour then told that we could do it another time, so I just went home. I should've noticed how sketchy the whole thing was. I should've picked up on all the red flags, but I didn't. So I go home, call my boss, and tell her that I'm giving my two weeks notice. She obliges and I ask if I could come visit down the road. She says that it would be in the best interest of the children that I stay away so they don't get the wrong idea. Basically I haven't been back there besides one time when I stopped by after hours to catch up with my favorite colleague and mentor, Jen.

Anywho, here I am on November 19th at the asscrack of dawn starting at the tile warehouse. I meet with the warehouse supervisor (I don't fucking remember his name; he's honestly not worth remembering) and he asks if I know how to drive a forklift. Uh...we talked about that when you hired me, but anyways, I say yes. "Great. Hop on, drive around a bit, get a feel for it, then get to work." Um...I dunno about those guys, but when I was at Lowe's where I learned to drive a forklift, we had to be licensed to operate one. Not to mention if they bothered to do a background check, they'd learn that I was fired from there for getting into an accident on a forklift and causing damage to a bay door. But I do as they say; I grab an order sheet ("grab the biggest ones first", they tell me) and get to it. Basically the way they run things is they put the sheets out on a table, everyone grabs one, gathers everything up on a pallet, then drop it in the outgoing delivery area, then do it all again until every order has been filled. I should also mention that I started right as they were moving warehouses to North Reading, so after the orders were pulled, we had to get other pallets ready to ship to the new place. Remember how I said I was never able to talk to the HR person? Well, I was never given a schedule because of that, so I guess it was understood that I would come in at 7 in the morning and work until everyone was done, which typically wasn't until 8 or 9 at night. I adhered to that mindset for maybe a week and a half; after that, I started sneaking out after at least doing my 8 hours a day. One day the supervisor caught me and said that I can't do that again. I didn't give a fuck. Another day he tells me that I'm not working fast enough and need to step it up. Maybe if someone took the time to train me on the other lift that was smaller and had forks that extended, I'd be able to be more efficient, but no; the only machines I could use were the huge lifts that are barely able to maneuver in the narrow fucking aisles and the order picker, which is basically a standing lift with a small tray-sized platform that you could place stuff on and lower it back down. That thing was kinda fun because it had controlls that kinda felt like piloting a mech and it was fast as hell.

Fast forward a few days and a few hours into my shift the supervisor tells me that I'm being let go and he hands me my last check and a pamphlet for unemployment benefits. No reasoning, just that I'm gone. Probably because I was "working too slow" and would leave when I felt like it, but I could give two shits; they never cared about me and I was tired of working under those unreasonable conditions. I manage keep my composure and start heading out, telling the few friends that I made there that I was fired; they wished me well and said I'd move onto something better. No shit. Once I get to my car, I burst out crying, trying to comprehend the gravity of my situation. I text my girlfriend and she asks if I want to come over to her house; I do partly because I needed the emotional support and partly because she was only 5 minutes away and my drive home would've been about 30 minutes. Honestly, I probably could've reported them to OSHA since they were in violation of god knows how many rules and regulations (hell, during the first week at the new warehouse, someone managed to destroy an entire bay: 3 shelves with 4 pallets each, totalling I believe over $6000 worth of product), but I just wanted to wash my hands of that place entirely. Since it was mid December, I decided to just take time to enjoy the holidays before looking for a new job, especially since I had made enough money there to keep myself afloat for about a month.

So, regarding the move, mom and I spent the last few years looking for places nearby for when the time came, but a lot of places were either in undesirable towns, were too expensive (this is Massachusetts; rent prices suck balls), or didn't meet our needs/standards. Ideally we were aiming to find a small house or even duplex to move into since we'd been in a 2-story, 3-bedroom house since January 2001, but we ended up settling for a 2-bedroom apartment in a small complex in Reading. It's been a bit of an adjustment for many reasons, but we've made it work. One of the biggest annoyances is that we don't have any laundry machines in our unit or even our building, so if we have to wash our clothes, we need to bring our stuff to one of the neighboring buildings that has a credit card-opperated laundry room with seven washers and 8 dryers. Kinda obnoxious to have to go through all that trouble and pay to do it, but condidering heat, hot water, and facility maintenance and snow removal are all covered in our rent (which is $1750/month), it's a small price to pay, I suppose.

Once we got all settled into the new place, I started job hunting again. For years I've wanted to do something technical, like be a plumber or maintenance engineer, but it's nigh impossible to find entry-level jobs like that. I somehow managed to find a job posting on Craigslist for a preventative maintenance engineer at a hotel in my old hometown of Woburn (ironically it's across from my old Dave & Busters), put in an application, and about a week later I had the job. Basically what I do is go through the guestrooms and make sure everything is in working order and is clean. I do about 2 rooms a day, repairing things as needed, be it electrical, plumbing, painting, or whatever else. I started back in early February of this year and in April the chief engineer was unceremoniously fired, leaving me as the sole engineer at the hotel. We had outside help come in periodically, but generally speaking I was the one keeping the place together until we hired a new chief this past October. I had to learn how to take care of an outdoor pool and how to take readings on it daily. I had to represent my hotel at engineer trainings normally meant for chiefs. Hell, I was very close to being promoted to chief myself until they found the new guy. But my efforts weren't in vain: our scores from our guest surveys for maintenance and upkeep were always above expectations and everyone at the hotel appreciate and respect what I do there. They raised my pay as high as they could go because of the amount of work I was putting in. My boss even got me two $75 tickets to a Ring of Honor show since he was a wrestling fan like myself. I think it's safe to say that I definitely bounced back from Fitzgerald.

I guess that about wraps things up. It's currently two weeks until Christmas, so I've got that to look forward to. I'd apologize for the lengthy rant, but I think that's par for the course on my blog. Again, if you're new (or even if you're not), feel free to leave a comment, note, message, or whatever and let me know what brought you to my blog or if there's any questions, comments, or suggestions for things that I could discuss. I figure I've been away from this thing for a long time, why not be a bit more active. Anyways, that's all I got for now. Hope y'all are well; take care of yourself!

[i-cant-eat-eggs]

My Tilt Table Test experience...

Hi all! So on Tuesday, I had my first tilt table test to confirm my previous diagnosis of POTS (which was diagnosed through a Holter monitor), and also to check my blood pressure (Specifically, whether or not it dropped when I stand).

So! Here is how it all went down, for anyone who is going to have a test, or is just curious about the process:

So first, the nurse brought me to the room where the test would be. There was one other nurse there, too, to observe and help if needed. Nurse #1 asked me to put my things down on a different bed and had me sit on the tilt table. I kept my own clothes on, but I’ve seen accounts from others in which they needed to put on a gown. 

She explained the process and how the test would work. She also gave me an IV port in my left arm, but did not give me any medications or anything yet. The IV was for “just in case,” in the event that I needed fluids. This came in handy. After the IV, she placed some HR monitors on my chest, an O2 monitor on my finger, and a BP cuff on my right arm. Then I laid back on the table, and she strapped me in– the straps weren’t tight, just a safety measure in case I passed out (they don’t want you to fall), and my arms were over the straps not under them so it wasn’t very claustrophobic.

The test was /supposed/ to work like this: 10 minutes laying down flat, 40 minutes in the supine or upright position (at 70 degrees, so not quite fully upright but it feels like it), and then 10 more minutes at the end laying flat. I spent my first 10 minutes perfectly fine, chilling, laying down. The BP cuff monitored my BP every two minutes. Then the nurse told me she was going to turn on the tilt table. 

Right away, I felt a bit dizzy. It wasn’t too bad. The nurse requested that I tell her when I feel symptoms, so I let her know. I also told her when it passed, which it did in a few seconds. I stayed upright for a few more minutes, and felt dizzy again. I let her know, she noted it, printed an EKG reading, typed some things. The dizziness passed. This happened once more a few minutes later, too. I was able to see my own heart rate out of the corner of my eye, but I tried not to look at it too much. 

The third time I got dizzy, I let the nurse know that it wasn’t passing. I started feeling worse and worse, more and more out of breath. She took my blood pressure and printed an EKG, and I began feeling nauseated. I asked her if she could tilt me back down, which she did. Just before she lowered the table, my BP dropped significantly, and I felt like I was going to throw up. The other nurse brought a garbage can. When I was laying down, I was really out of it, breathing really hard, sweating, feeling terrible. One of the nurses unstrapped me and held my legs up while the other one started a saline drip into that IV I mentioned earlier. I’m not sure if I passed out or not, since I was laying down with my eyes closed. Eventually, the second nurse told me I should start feeling better soon as my BP had come back up. He was right; after a few minutes, I felt better, the IV was helping, and I could feel my limbs again.

We let the IV drip continue and finish, and I wasn’t allowed to sit up until I regained all the feeling in my hands and legs and my BP was steady. Obviously, they didn’t tilt me back up– once you “fail” the test, it’s over, so don’t worry about having to do it again. I was given a ginger ale (with an option of water too), and they double checked my vitals to make sure I was good before letting me leave. 

I wasn’t given any medications or anything to stimulate a reaction, but I’ve heard that some people are given artificial adrenaline or other similar medicines to force a reaction. This was not the case in my experience, it was a simple test overall. I felt much better after the saline IV. Overall, it wasn’t awful. Obviously, I could have gone without passing out, but it was necessary to get the data we needed. So yeah!

If you have any questions, send me an ask, a message, or reply to this post and I’ll get back to you!  

#pots #potsie #Pots syndrome #Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome #spoonie #disability #disabilties #disabled #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #chronic illness #chronically ill #tilt table test #tilt table