#also what about like. trans people that arent girls or gay or dont use they/them

[rainderthesomeone]

Its official :>

I know I've said it here and there on a few posts on transgender stuff, but its a official, I'm trans :D

TW: I talk about abuse and body dysphoria in this post, you dont have to read the rest, this section is just me sharing my experiences in my teenage years with a homophobic as hell republican as a father.

I've known for a while like ever since I was in Middle School, I had a really hard time fitting in with other girls, I tried making friends with them but they were all into make up and dress's and talking about boys and other stuff, I made at least one friend in middle school but they left me for a group of girly girls, and I wasn't interested in what they liked, I was into a lot of things they were not interested in, I was a huge nerd, I liked games, Godzilla, movie production, comics, marvel, star wars, fnaf, dinosaurs, bendy, (not saying girls dont like these things, girls can like anything guys :D women are amazing I know a lot of amazing girls now :>) nothing they liked and when they saw that they weren't interested in me anymore, but I connected with the guys a lot more, but they always saw me as the girl who tagged along and needed to be treated gently, at first I had no interest in the lgbtq community or the idea of being something else other than what I already was, I couldn't even really talk about, since the topic of gay and gender ideology wasn't allowed in the house I used to live in, my father hated gay people, said they were wired, and shouldn't be his words not mine "frolicking around and being queer" da hell dose that mean? im still baffled by that, he's also that kind man who thinks lesbians are cool and gay men shouldn't exist, it was that level of misogyny and homophobia, looking at it now, it was really disgusting and disturbing, but I was 12 I didn't know any better.

but than as I got older I became more aware, and started questioning things, I was 13 in my room, on my phone, and I found this artist who was drawing deltarune characters, deltarune was also a huge eye opener to the lgbtq comunity for me, since kris identified as none binary, but I found one of the oc's the artist made and they identified as A gender, and I was like whats that and looked into it more and more, and than I went from I dont know who or what I am, to maybe im a demi girl, maybe im A Gender, maybe im none binary and than boom, it clicked, I went with they/them/there's for a while, but I began to feel uncomfortable, by being refred to as her, she, I started hating wearing a braw and how scratchy and annoying it felt, I began hating my chest, I stopped wearing shorts due to my legs being abnormally hairy and that girls arent supposed to be hairy, at one point my dad was going to put me through a hole body hair removal process which would have removed all my body hair, and he was going to do it without me knowing, until my mother told me, she was the most supportive person I had while going through this, I was litteraly terrified to say no to my dad, but eventully he didint go through with it, but I still wasnt allowed to have body hair, every time we went shoe shopping he tried to get me pink shoes, and brands women would only use, we went on a cruise and we had to dress up, but I didint want to since I would have had to wear a dress, blue jeans were the only thing I had that was close to guy clothes, I wasnt allowed anything remotley masculine, only my mom would let me have products like old spice, and she took me guy clothe shopping but it had to be in secret from my father, who would hurt me and my mother if he found out, not physically well he would probably slap me, but only yell at my mother, which still wasnt good, eventully we left his sad ass, and now me and my mom live in a apartment together, and from there I could freely explore who I was, a month later I came out as trans to my mother right after we left, and im in therapy with an amazing therapist and I have amazing friends who dont fully understand but support me in every direction, only triggering thing Ive experinced so far was not being able to change my pronouns to he him lol, Curse you school bored! XD

anyway sorry for the lenghty slightly depressing post, I just wanted to share my story here since I have the platform to do so now, the freedom of speech is very rewarding and validating lol, origanlly this was going to be a post about "guys I got my first chest binder oh and btw im ftm" but I wanted to get this off my chest no pun intended and open myself up more on here, the trans comunity on tumblr has been amazing so far, especially the tf2 comunity on here, I truly feel welcomed and comfortable being here.

lot of grammar issues in here, grammars not my strong suit plus its 11 pm for me right now, im heading to bed lol, good night everyone!

#transgender #coming out as trans #trans rights #trans masc #ftm trans #im also not on any medication as of righting this once im settled finacially ill bring yall on that journey with me lol #if any one has any tips on trans masc I would really appreciate it XD cuz im still exploring #and its gonna be my first day tomorrow binding so uh lets see how that go's lol #k that enough from me back to tf2 comics :D

[thueenz]

Have you "come out" with your identity to your parents/friends? How did you do it? Completely ok if you don't wanna answer or give too many details. Hope ur safe and happy

hi! i don't mind answering at all ! ! im gonna put this under read more for the sake of not throwing a wall of text on peoples dashes

i have come out to my parents, and as for friends, ive only ever had to come out to one because the rest are lgbt in some way LMAO 😭 i dont know anyone close to where i live so thats a bit of a cheatcode. in an evil way because the con is i dont know anyone near me wouldnt recommend to be fair BUT !

it was like, years ago now, so the details are a bit foggy, but i literally just sat them down while shaking in my boots and told them , said i had something i wanted to tell them all and came out, it wasnt too complicated for me since my family is like...well, theyre not hateful, i'm not going to call them allies considering the first thing they told me was that they found my identity too hard to grasp 💀

i eventually confronted them on that and it didnt do much either, they use the proper pronoun more often in front of my friends but never really when im alone and they have a bunch of other issues with that stuff, theyre like, the type that think theyre progressive but arent lol. I.e i used he/him for a friend for months and they did too but they heard the friend is trans and immediately stumbled using she/her constantly and were like oh well im not used to it 🥺🥺 girl wtf youve been using he/him for months!! so stuff like that yk?

as for the One Cishet Friend I Met On A Game, i also just sort of did the same thing? he was a lot more accepting though, very sweet, he was googling what pronoun to use in his native language for me so that was a lot more touching after my last experience 😭

it's a bit annoying but i dont really put much mind to it! i dont really care what my family thinks anymore on that even if its bothersome, ive got a lot bigger fish to fry with my family LMAO and boy are they frying... theyre positively cooking

i hope that answers sorry i don't have many details i have poor memory also it just wasn't very eventful aside from me being very anxious each time

HOWEVER this gives me the chance to share my favourite story to share with people because its so stupid. OK SO! about a year before i came out? idk, my mom literally asked if i was gay 😭😭 and i was closeted so i was like shaking in my boots and i was like no why.. and she said because i never had a crush on a fictional male character, like my sister liked shrek as a kid so she "knew.." she was straight it LINGERS IN MY MIND ITS SO FUNNY LMAO like please diagnosed as gay by your mother because you didnt get a crush on shrek. DIAGNOSED AS STRAIGHT BECAUSE YOU DID GET A CRUSH ON SHREK ?? I literally like men too though so she was right but also not but also what the hell LMAO

i hope youre safe and happy too! ♥️♥️tyvm for being sweet feel free to send any more asks if i didnt cover something! i havent eaten breakfast yet so im a bit scattered im gonna do that 🫡

anyone whos read this far gets a gold star 🌟

#oatmeal timeeeeeeee #hopefully idk ill find something else if that doesnt work out but i want my oat meal </3 #ask #pers

[goremet-chef]

i think i have deduced, that yes, i am aromantic. all of my "romantic" relationships were just bpd obsession, and i even "fell out of love" with some of them (fell away from the obsession is all) SO.. yeah

literally EVERY SINGLE ONE was like this. the only one i ever felt any sort of 'real' love for was the guy that groomed me, and. YOU KNOW HOW THAT GOES lmao

i was telling my friends but no it reallyjust. i dated this girl for a bit a long time ago and i broke things off because she was matching pfp and drawing her sona with someone elses (i was very young SKFS) and like. that is such typical bpd behavior. i thought i loved her, and i did!! i did definitely, but not romantically. i was just kind of obsessed with her in typical FP fashion and took her interacting friendly with her friend as rejection and betrayal 💀

that shit sucked too, i realized i fucked up but i didnt understand why i even felt that way to begin with so i never properly tied things up. we're mutuals on toyhouse tho and started interacting with eachother more, glad to know shes doin well 👍👍

i swear though, this feeling like. it makes me question my bisexuality??? cuz in my head im like im bisexual yes, have been always will be, but why am i not wanting to date girls? i guess that means im faking and just a gay guy which in reality just means im a straight girl (dysphoria talking) but no i am bisexual! i just dont want to date ANYONE SKJFS

i do have a strong preference for men, but like. im attracted to both. i have more fantasies of dating men because being gay is fun, but i realistically wouldnt date anyone SKJFSF

it feels really good to figure this shit out cuz like yeah it does weigh on my other shit and bother me

also i think i just dont like cis people??? KSFJS maybe? cuz.. IDK cis people kinda scary like idk i heard too much about them sexualizing trans folk and all that........ like can i trust someone whos not trans to handle me yknow what i mean SDKFSJF it feels like no

its in the same vein as me not wanting to date anyone if they arent also part of a system because its already so... it just makes us feel shameful tbh. like none of my headmates interact with my friends anymore because i mean. we have bpd and even if they act different about it, theyll still read the same rejection that i do, but for them its different because they dont really know them? i mean my alters know my friends, but my friends dont know them, so we just hide it now. they know and are supportive but we hide it regardless cuz it just feels ? IDK im particular i hate feeling like my heart is on my sleeve or whatever, hate feeling any sort of vulnerable and that makes me feel that way yknow? anyways im done talking now SKFJ

#tw grooming #just a small mention but warning regardless

[solarwaters]

gay representation doesn't matter. First of all, I'm a homosexual, but I'm not a part of any community. You guys celebrate pride but what pride is there in liking the same gender. There is no pride in it and there is no point of celebrating something that isnt special. Yes, Im very sorry to tell you but you arent special for liking a girl when you are a girl. You're just being a human being. You cant change the norm and literature, the natural thing and the norm in literature, history and religion is heterosexuality. Obviously when you see shows and books they will usually only have straight people. You dont seriously expect homosexuality to be put into historical books? I respect transgender people that are truly trans. The ones that always felt somehting wrong with their gender, the ones that cried and felt dismorphic. I dont respect the "transgender" people who only became trans after they heard of LGBTQ community, they just decided they are trans because its "cool." Causes problems for your family. It means you have been taken over by the 2020 effect. Lesbians made a "lesbian apocalypse." okay, cool. and then bisexual people decided they wanted one too. Lesbians got mad at them for taking away "lesbian rep." what kind of bs is that? What do you need representation for? Liking a woman? There are queer youths who actually struggle. Their parents are homophobic and they wont accept their child. THEY need representation. More than half of you "lesbians" dont have that struggle. Your parents dont care, you tell everyone you're gay. You dont need any representation. I hate that REAL queers and trans people that have struggles are being over shadowed by people who just use homosexuality as a fun thing. People have called me slurs sometimes, people have been homophobic to me, but I'm not the one who truly struggles. People are mean to others all the time and this just falls into the category. Someone calling you the F-slur (dont want to get banned lmao) is the same thing as someone so sensitive person an idiot if they get offended by it. But it doesnt matter if you say asian, black, gay slurs no matter what race etc. you are If you only use it in a term that isnt specified to anyone who cares. like in the context of eminem saying f-slur in 'rap god.' He couldve said the n-slur since he wasnt targeting someone for being black. it doesnt matter then. Also it seems that yall have a little bias. like eminem can say the f-slur but your straight friend cant cause eminem "earned it." see how biased you are? you care about slurs and representation but you dont care about wars, gossip and back biting. freaks.

#gay #transgender #literature #queer representation

[crystalisedsourdoughrolls]

ok so ive got a story. so buckle the fuckle up :)

so basically i go to a nerd school, like the only reason people are at my school is because we're nerds, now coincidentally, there are about seven far-right rednecks in the whole school. most of us are queer, but im one of the few trans kids, if not the only one out. i came out when i first showed up because my old school wasn't a safe place, but i knew this one would be and i was tired of the closet and blah blah blah. so there's a bunch of kids at my school that before now didn't know any trans kids much less were ever friends with one, and most of those kids had never had queer friends either. so my whole existence is a whole new experience for them. due to my homelife i cant cut my hair really short and i only get called by my deadname by my family. because of that i dont pass as a guy, but im not exactly femme passing either. so a bunch of these right-wing redneck kids arent rude people but they also didnt like trans or queer people either because of what their parents taught them. im gonna use one of them as an example. im gonna call him red for privacy reasons. so basically red comes froma really conservative family and was really hyper-christain in the conservative way. but he met me. im a nice person and i love people, i try my best to get along with everybody and make friends wherever i go. he was taught that trans people are scary and gay people are all trying to mutillate their kids. im not any of that (mainly because non of that is true, but i digress). he asked me what pronouns i prefer today, and honestly i think thats a sign of how far he's come. last year he said that he was fine with 'the gays' so long as they dont rubit in everybody's faces. now, he's asking my preferred pronouns and saying he might not be interested in women and he actually sees me as not a girl. this was really long winded and honestly, i dont think anyone's gonna read this much poor grammar about something like this, but i really think this goes to show that people are people, its the nurture that makes them assholes, and nurture can be undone. im just trying to say that if you give people a chance they can surprise you.

#lgbt #transgender #so yeah #i swear im not trying to reblog bait #i just wanted to share something that happened to me that i thought was cool

[bonemoji]

HATE the term ‘girls gays and theys’ i dont even know WHY its just so annoying to me

#its the ‘and theys’ part that gets me #i know it isnt a big deal but whatever im allowed to b annoyed #by saying ‘and theys’ you have effectively excluded a large portion of the nonbinary population #and also adding it jn ar the end feels like oh right and the non binaries too yeah #also what about like. trans people that arent girls or gay or dont use they/them #ALSO just fuckin Listen to nb people when we say that we dont want to be tacked onto the end of shit like that just address people neutrally #especially if ur cishet it feels really weird to be like hi lgbts!!!! ❤️ yknow #again i know its just like fun trendy way to b inclusive! but it just kinda leaves a bad taste in my mouth #also the fact that im only included on a technicality lol #i hate queer tiktok so much sometimes #rambling #q word #probably delete later

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

[souryogurt64]

What did that manager do for patrick to end him like that????

shane morris was a sony music employee and was “managing” ryan. he also made up this incredibly long and elaborate story about buying a used car with a brick of heroin in it and being contracted to make a movie about it but none of that was real. he did get a lot of e-clout (20k followers) from it and set up a go fund me to go on the run from mysterious drug dealers. he also made it into a bunch of lil nas x articles when he lied about his position at sony and other info which was easily verifiable. NPR and the guardian and the new york times and a bunch of other places quoted his tweets some whistleblowing hero and refused to issue retractions because music journalism is completely absolutely fucking worthless

anywho he was “managing” ryan and was generally a huge internet troll and would say incredibly offensive things about gay people and jewish people and every other minority constantly for attention and iirc what set patrick off was joking about raping petes eldest kid or calling him a f*g or something and saying a bunch of other things about both of their kids. ryan was very upset with pete “dropping” him but um this was who ryan was hanging out with

i couldnt find this anywhere since it happened 8-10 years ago and i was pretty young at the time so i dont remember all of the exact details. but he used ryan to get nudes and i think money (possibly via gofundme) from his fans and claimed ryan made an album that was “stolen” but the album probably never existed and was a ploy by shane for nudes and money and everything else. he would regularly say horrible things to ryans tween fans like threaten to kill them

a lot of people think shane was impersonating ryan from his twitter and tweeting offensive things (the only one i remember was calling a trans person it) though honestly it could have been ryan? anyway a lot of people think shane was largely involved in ryans downfall and drug issues

everybody talks about the underage girls a lot but the older i get the more i realize a lot of bands that are effectively little more than children get hooked on drugs and girls and also effectively get exploited by weird men from the industry lol. they arent blameless but its very sad

TLDR he threatened both pete and patricks children

#rape / #transphobia /

[its-an-inxp-again]

Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that’s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive)   You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.

#ask #anon ask #sometimes i say stuff #tw biphobia #tw transphobia #tw panphobia #tw queerphobia #lgbt #lgbtqia

[queer-as-frikc]

My coming out story is weird, it gets a lil transphobic so tw near the end tw long post too

So, pretty much throughout my time growing up through elementary school and half of middle school, i grew up in a white middle class area. I didnt know about the LGBTQ+ or anything other than what I saw, which was white people and an occasional poc. Eventually I had to move and I ended up in a super diverse area, and ended up becoming best friends with this person (they are ftm now so imma use the right pronouns but they were f when this story mostly takes place) he told me all about things I didnt know, specifically the LGBTQ+ community and that he was pan, and it was new information so just like any 13 year old learning new things, I questioned myself, I questioned if I could like the same sex or not or possibly more.

Sadly, drama happened between my best friend, his girlfriend and I, so thing got a little weird. But there was a time in winter, when he was off that relationship for more than a month and he said he'd like to date me, and I really thought about it before hand and said yeah, I couldnt tell you how happy I was to have this experience.

I told my mom that night, in a round about way cuz I was nervous, "Hey mom, what if I liked girls?" She told me she doesnt think that I do, because I always expressed feelings for guys, and when I tell her I didnt really understand what being gay was when I was younger, I didn't really know it was a possibility. She snapped at me and said, "Unless you are willing to kiss a girl and do the other stuff, you arent gay at all."

Eventually I have a sit down conversation with her, about how confusing this all was and how I wish I knew how I felt, and so on. She said she had a similar questioning phase but it never stuck so she doesnt think I am.

Like a month later I figure it out and dude that was so gratifying. I came out as bi to my mom, who just dismissed the whole thing, but I was terrified to tell my uncle (it's a long story about that, no it's not "sweet home Alabama") because he always said bi's were wh*res so yeah. I ended up telling him, and he goes, "You know my opinion on it but that doesnt mean that I'll disown you or anything." Btw the relationship (dating wise) with my best friend after he came out as ftm because he went back to his ex, it's all cool tho.

So that was that, or so I thought. It was my first year of high school, and I finally really understood the definition of pan, what was holding me back though was the trans experience, I thought because I didnt know what it was like, I couldnt be pan, even though I didnt have a preference, turns out it just means you like people no matter their gender and it like, clicked finally so yeah. I've told my family about that since but I a similar reaction: my mom said she doesnt think I am and she lectured me on my generation having so many labels and how she hated it. My uncle said he appreciated that I was pan more than me being bi which confused me but he just had a better view of pansexual than bisexual. (I explained to both of them what the difference was but idk man)

I believe it was my second year of high school when I really started to question my gender, and that was mostly because I saw a video of what gender dysphoria looks like if it's not that strong and you arent aware for ftm. So like wearing bagging clothes all the time, always wearing sports bras, and practically no other bra, feeling really good if someone accidentally calls you sir, etc. And I was like, oml it's me. But it wasnt, I didnt find that out until later tho. So, with my friend group, I find a name that seems to fit me well and ask them to address me by it and he/him pronouns, as like a test of sorts. (All of my friends are gay in some way so it was cool) In the end tho, I got a little iffy about the whole thing and wouldnt ever correct them at times or it was just off for me. I felt really bad because I thought that they might have thought that I was just trying to force myself to be more like them, but I wasnt, i still felt bad though and kinda dropped it.

I'm not sure 100% how I figured it out tho, but I remember talking to my best friend (not the same one from middle school, they were my best friend as well but they arent the same person) about the whole experience and I believe they brought up the idea of genderfulid, and I was like :0.... what that. They explain it, you go aall over the gender spectrum, some days you might feel like a boy, others you might feel like you have no gender, some days you might feel like your gender is something completely weird and different, that's just what it is. And I was like, "It fits but like, I barely feel femme at any point in time, maybe like once a year." And they tell me, that's ok and stuff as long as my gender just decides to be a completely weird and went all over the place, it counted, so I was like, "I finally figured it out!!!" And i was so happy.

Then came the time I was comfortable enough to tell my parents. I had been using the label genderfuild for over half a year already and I thought that it was what I was so it was ok to tell them. I saw how ok me being gay went, so I was nervous but not as nervous as I should have been, probably. I told my mom first, she went on a similar rant of her no liking my generations labels and such, but it went fine, I explained it, I thought I was through, I thought I was fine, apparently not. One day I'm in the shower and I hear my mom being very expressive with what ever shes talking about to my uncle, which is fine, she needs someone to vent to sometimes. When I get out though, and I can here her clearly, I hear sees complaining about what I told her recently, that I'm genderfulid, but instead of saying that, she only says I want to be a boy. (Oh no) So shes complaining to him, asking why I cant be more like her and just be a masculine girl and be fine, why do I have to fit in with the crowd of my generation to feel special, why cant I just be fine with who I am now? Etc.

The sad thing is, that night, I was going out shopping for pants and underwear with my uncle because I needed some and I wore men's pants already at that point, because they are more durable, and stuff so I knew it was gonna be a long ride. My mom was snippy with me that whole night, just the entire time which sucked.

When we finally left to go get clothes though, I didnt know it could get worse. My uncle lectured me about how that's just my generations fad, and how his was making tattoos and piercings ok in the work place and mine is being trans a gay and all that crap, and that I'm just trying to fit in, I'm not being myself, no matter how much I chop myself up and cut my hair and take hormones my chromosomes will never change and so I can never be an actual guy. He also said that I would bring just more attention to myself being a woman who does guy things rather than try and be one, and he thinks I'm doing this all for attention. I was mad but silent at this point, I didnt want to cause anything to happen. He ended up asking me, "So did you pick a different name?" I was surprised but I said yeah, and my friends were using it and it seemed to fit better. He asked me what it was and fear over took my body. I told him, "I'll only tell you if you dont use it against me if your mad." He says, "i cant promise that." And then gets mad because I wont tell him. Though I do, because I feel obligated since hes buying me clothes. To be even more confusing, he buys me guys underwear, and undershirts along with the predetermined pants he promised me and now I'm so confused.

But it gets even worse. When we get home, my mom freaks out on him because be bought me all that mens stuff and she said he was encouraging my behavior and stuff, he defended with it's just clothes, and yah it is. Eventually things settle down, obviously my mom isnt talking to be, but that's for the best at this point. I'm in the living room with my uncle and he just then starts harassing me with questions like, how do you know? he asks. "Well, I just feel that way, same as you." I say. But why do you wanna be a guy? he asks. "I dont wanna be a guy, it's just weird that way. Also it's not me being a guy, it me being many more than that," I say. He says that's bullsh*t. I offer to show him videos that better explain what trans is and how it's an actual sciencey thing and stuff but he said he wont take a video because he wants me to say it. And then he just goes off, saying the name I picked out shows how self centered I am because I am selfish, he kept asking me if i liked to fight, to catch and play with bugs, to be strong, to be angry all the time, and all these stereotypes for men and I just left, and went to bed. He wasnt going to listen to me, so there wasnt a point to me staying.

But, it gets worse. The morning comes and I'm awoken by the slam of my door by my uncle and the laughter of my mom. My uncle starts being really aggressive and starts cleaning my room, I only have clothes on the floor mostly so that's all it was, but he starts saying, well if you're gonna be a man, imma start training you like one, the man of the house picks up after everyone, the man of the house does everything he can to help the house run smoothly, the man of the house has to be strong, and all that stuff. (Which I thought was funny because he was "the man of the house" yet I did everything, and still do. I clean up most after him, funny huh.) And, I know what's happening and so I stay in bed, I don't want this to happen. But I literally get ripped out of my bed by my uncle and get told to stop being a little b*tch and a brat because I'm being selfish by my mom and I'm yelled at to sit in the living room and wait while my uncle cleans my room. When hes done hes starts lecturing me and being all aggressive and in my face. He keeps asking me a million questions with the tone that he didnt care so I knew he wouldn't listen. Eventually, him and my mom leave, I'm told to stay there until I get back. When they do get back, they act like everything is fine, nothing happened between them and I and it's just been so hard for me to talk to them about that since.

I'm greatful that I dont have to deal with that anymore but every time something that that is brought up with my family, I panic so much now. I'm fine and I'm safe but it was very traumatic for me. And uh, thanks for listening.

hey, thank you so much for sharing your story. this was just. so heartbreaking. noone deserves to have a person like your uncle in their life. im so sorry you had to go through all of that. i hope you’re in a much better place now <3 (also i loveeddd reading about how you figured it out) =)

again, tysm <3

#transphobia #transphobia tw #biphobia tw #abuse tw

[pokeheros-drama]

Ooo apparently I didn’t scroll down enough. I’m blind lol. “No Taavi, I'm gonna disrespect your religion if it includes being discriminatory towards minorities Deal with it lmao.” Honestly you should do your research first. My religion was the first religion who was against discrimination. We gave women their rights before anyone else. We made slavery a sin before anyone else. We gave black people equal rights before anyone else. My religion is against discrimination. We were the first to treat people outside our religion as equals. So don’t you bring this discrimination thing to me. We believe there is a difference between choices and things which he have no choice over. Caste, colour, creed, sex etc are things you can’t choose. Our religion and in some cases sexuality are things we can choose. We do not disrespect. We do not force you to become Muslims and start believing in what we believe In. We do not force our practices on you. In a Muslim state a Christian, a gay, and everyone of the minorities can live with security and with respect as long as they follow the law. That is Islam. That is my religion. Im not denying Muslims have done hate crimes in the past. But don’t forget Christians have too. There are black sheep’s who show extremist behaviour everywhere. But that is not our religion. If besides all that you continue to disrespect my religion and judge it based on the extremists. Then that just shows who you are as a person and you should be ashamed. “If your religion told you to jump off a bridge when you turn 50 would you still do that? If your religion told you black people were a mistake would you still believe that? If your religion told you in order to go to heaven you had to kill somebody would you still follow it?” As stated earlier my religion was the first one to give black people their rights so them being a mistake is out of question. I doubt my religion would ever tell me anything like this. But for questions sake. No I won’t kill the person. At least not without knowing why they want me to kill the person. But unless it’s not anything major no I won’t kill him. Again as stated before I don’t just blindly follow my religion. I have been given a brain to differentiate right from wrong. So I use it to decide if I want to do something or not. About the jumping from bridge. I believe enough in my religion to know it won’t just ask me to do something for no reason. But to be honest unless they tell me that reason I won’t jump. Again as stated before I don’t just blindly follow my religion. I have been given a brain to differentiate right from wrong. So I use it to decide if I want to do something or not “Taavi shut the fuck up already, no one cares about ur long ass replys.” You cared enough to write this. Just don’t read them if you don’t want to. “Her age was never specified on the feed. Age and sex aside, nobody owes it you to be nice. By posting that feed publicly, it shows that you're still salty over their actions despite you "understanding and not insisting anymore".” Yeah I never mentioned her exact age. True. But I clearly remember saying child/girl and not women. So don’t spin my words please. I wasn’t salty about her not being nice, I was salty about the things that drove her to be like that. I was salty about the world we live in, in which kids have to afraid of other people offering help. Whether that is the fault of society or the way this stupid world works. And honestly if you can’t understand that then there’s no point in continuing this. “I don't even know Taavi but honestly if you defend homophobic/transphobic/racist/sexist/bigoted people you're no better than the people you're defending. People have been murdered for this. Killed in the fucking streets. Executed in their own homes. And even if they're not killed, you cannot fathom the mental and emotional abuse these people face every day just for being "different from the norm." Any religion that says "turn a blind eye to bigotry uwu" is a shitty-ass religion. Trans rights.” Ok so first the people you are mentioning are extremists. I’d like to make it clear I am against all kinds of extremist behaviour. Sadly there are extremists in every religion and society. let’s just say for a second that person A is trans. Person B is transphobic. They are against trans people. They hate them, don’t respect them and believe they shouldn’t have equal rights. Person C is not transphobic. They respect trans people. They treat them as equal and believe they should have equal rights. They just don’t support them. They don’t believe being trans is the right thing to do but if someone is they got nothing against it. Now Person A is in the white zone. Person B is in the black zone. You guys automatically put person C in the black zone too when in reality they are a shade of grey. So does person C deserve the same witch hunt person B gets? No they don’t. Yet they are treated the same. Does everyone has to support you to be a good person and if they don’t see eye to eye with you they are automatically a bad person? Then explain the difference between you and the person B? Why is it just not ok to just like not support anything. I treat you with respect as much as I treat the straights. I don’t judge you. Why can’t just not be enough? You guys want equal rights? What more equality you need? We literally treat you the same. “Taavi listen man I try very hard to understand where you're coming from and I don't believe you deserve hate at all, but I really don't understand what you want to sway your opinion on the subject at hand. Truth be told, you arent lgbtq, so you have No idea what the oppression and hate we face is like. So of course some of us will get rightfully upset when you say homophobes don't deserve the witch hunt. I personally try to educate before berating someone but even then some people aren't homophobic because they're uneducated, they are like that because it's safe for them to be that way in the eyes of Society(3). So to other lgbtq people the first resort is to make homophobia something to be ashamed of, so that, you know, less hatecrimes are committed. Obviously you wouldn't understand this though, or at least not as much as we do, because you arent lgbtq. You have talked to me and my friend and we try our best to help educate you so I dont get why you haven't changed your opinion really. Just because some others get mad at you, from years of repressed oppression? I just don't understand it. - pokeheroes dot com user Riordan-“ First of all I respect you a lot for not hiding behind the mask of anonymity. More then anyone on here at least. As mentioned above all I want is for people to not treat us people in the grey zone the same way they treat the people in the black. Yes sure we aren’t in the white. But we aren’t in the black either. We don’t deserve this witch hunt these people start every time. My friends aren’t even transphobic but they just labelled them as one and continue to spout hate about them. I honestly myself believe that the people who harm others deserve the criticism yes, but me or my friends never harmed anyone. Name one person I disrespected, or treated badly just cause they were not straight. I’m sorry I can’t agree with everyone on the matter that it’s perfectly alright to be gay or whatever. I won’t force my opinion on you. I won’t ask you to stop being you. I won’t judge you just cause of that. I will respect you as much as I do others. All I want it you do the same. I’m not harming anyone. So why do you force your opinions on me. Why can’t you respect me? Why do you judge me? As to the part of you guys educating me. Trust me that is seriously very much appreciated. Maybe one day I will change my opinions. That day isn’t here yet sadly. Also I do understand the oppression they feel. Trust me I know it a lot more then you would think. (Maybe one day you will but that day isn’t t near) I also understand the hate you are talking about. It isn’t much different from the hate islamophobics give to Muslims. Just for being a Muslim I’ve been hated in the past. Just for being from Pakistan I’ve been hated in the past. That’s why I’m saying. There are people who just don’t support your views. I have seen aethists, Christians, Hindus and many more who don’t meet eye to eye with me on my views. They don’t consider my beliefs right. I don’t consider theirs. But we respect each other’s beliefs. You know? It wouldn’t be fair to categorise those who don’t look eye to eye with me but still respect me and treat me the same way they treat others in the same category as people who are against my beliefs and just wish Islam would disappear from this world. Who don’t respect me and my beliefs. Get what I’m saying? Honestly I could care less if people start getting attracted to their cars or their frying pan. It’s their choice. Sure I won’t support it. I won’t be like it’s perfectly alright to be like that. But I won’t be against it either. If someone is that’s their choice. I don’t care. I will treat them the same I treat any other person. End of story. ~~~~~~~ Love Taavi

[queer-sky]

i found this on YouTube from Ashton Daniel so im gonna link their original video since its his tag but i thought it would be fun to do it as well

NONBINARY TAG

1. Let's do the basics - what's your gender and what're your pronouns? (tell me all your gender labels!!)

id say nonbinary and genderfluid fits best

and i mainly use they/them pronouns but at times im okay with he/him or she/her pronouns as well depending on how i feel on the gender spectrum i guess

2. Do you consider yourself to be under the trans umbrella, or is being nonbinary separate from that for you?

i personally feel that at least for myself nonbinary doesn't count as trans but im sure for others it does just i dont identify with the trans label

3. How do you feel about the label "enby"? Do you use it for yourself?

yes i do use it and i think it sounds lovely actually

4. What song is your gender?

am i a girl - poppy

5. Do you experience gender euphoria and if so, what causes it?

yea i do when i look/pass as androgynous or masc depending on how i feel that day/time

6. What's a question you're tired of being asked?

im actually not out to many people yet so there arent any yet but something thats annoying is telling someone i identity as nonbinary and they keep calling me girl

7. What outfits, accessories, presentations do you feel most yourself in? Is your style connected to your gender for you?

yes my style is connected to my gender so it fluids all the time really but baggy clothes and more masc jewelry does like chains and safety pin earrings and stuff like that or random objects as earrings like the other day i made small rubics cube earrings which i really like and also definitely wearing a beanie and having my hair in it (making it look short)

8. Have you identified with different genders, nonbinary or otherwise, in the past?

well ive identified with my birth gender before but im not sure if i actually did or if i just didnt really question my gender before cuz i knew im not a boy so i must be cis then idk

9. Are there gendered phrases or words you like/don't like? Dude, gal, man, sis, etc?

i don't really like gendered words in general id rather be refered to as genderneutral terms

10. What compliments best suit your gender? Handsome, beautiful, pretty, hot, stunning, etc?

i actually haven't thought about that yet but i think im fine with either ones? idkk

11. What's your favourite gender-neutral alternative to commonly gendered words? (e.g. sib instead of brother/sister, mx instead of miss/mr, enby instead of boy/girl, etc?)

just refer to me as a person like i dont feel the need to have a certain gender to be addressed as but yea genderneutral ones are good too like mx and enby and goddex or royalty instead of king/queen

12. Do you like the nonbinary pride flag for yourself? Do you prefer the trans flag, or a flag more specific to your gender?

yea i do like the nonbinary one

13. Are physical and/or medical transition important to you? If so or if not and you want to expand, do so!

no well not medical/surgical but i was thinking about getting a binder/sports bra and maybe something to make my hips not look so wide

14. Are there any nonbinary people you look up to? If so, who?

im not sure tbh but i have some nonbinary friends and i told one of them

15. How do you write "nonbinary"? one word, two words, with a dash?

i write it as nonbinary so one word

16. If you are/were to be someone's significant other, how would you want to be referred to? Boyfriend, girlfriend, theyfriend, partner, lover, etc?

probably partner or like their person but maybe if my gender leans more towards one side then id like to be referred as boyfriend or girlfriend but probably not really boyfriend cuz that term sounds toxic to me since most of my relationships with guys were toxic so i guess partner or girlfriend

17. Are you out in your day-to-day life, just online, just to close friends, etc?

just online i wanna figure it out first before i come out in rl and other then being called sky it wouldn't really change much since german doesn't have they/them pronouns

18. Are there any silly nonbinary stereotypes you embrace? e.g. pride flag stuff, coloured hair, liking plants, cats, whatever else?

yea i have piercings and dyed hair even tho its only split dye and a natural red but i wanna dye it purple or blue if im able to and i do have two pride flags hanging up in my home and some pride wallpapers and i kinda like cats plants and rocks

19. Does the word "queer" fit you, do you use it for yourself?

yea i think it really does and i do use it as a umbrella term meaning im part of the lgbtq+ community and bc i havent found a right label that completely fits me yet sexuality wise as well

20. This isn't nonbinary related, I just think it's a cool question. If you could go to any concert of any band, artist, performer, living or dead, what's the lineup?

probably gay/indie music so like

girl in red,hayley kiyoko,cavetown,dodie,jessiepaege

cant think of more artists rn oop

#lgbtq #nonbinary #queer #nb #enby #Youtube

[vegannaise]

boys deserve love

i started realizing around 16 that i wasn’t cis. i flipflopped back and forth between different nonbinary identities, occasionally wondering (in private) if i was just simply a boy. i was already out as gay, and people already regarded me as a “tomboy”, so that helped alleviate some of my teenage discomfort.

I didn’t date a lot in highschool, partially because i was incredibly intimated by girls, partially because boys didnt pay too much romantic attention to me, and probably a little bit because i had 0 interest in sex all throughout my teenage years.

when i was 17 i had my first “serious” relationship. it was with a boy that coerced me into hooking up with him while i was nearly black out drunk (wow,, what a catch right???!!! thats a whole different story). as sad as this is, i finally felt like my existence was valid. i felt like i had finally achieved this unspoken goal of having someone love me in a romantic way, having someone find me desirable. i was happy for the first time in years.

of course, i was still trans and in the closet during all of this. one night, i was completely swallowed by my dysphoria. i was either on the floor or in front of the mirror crying because of how my body looked. i even ended up giving myself a stick n poke to avoid self harming. Mason (boy in question) was texting me throughout this, i think i had told him i wasn’t feeling good, but i didn’t want to tell him why. he eventually pressured me into telling him what was wrong, and i told him “i dont like my body. i want my body to be a different body. i want to have a BOYS body”.

for just a second, i pictured myself years in the future with a flat chest and stubble and a deep voice, my arms around Mason, who still loved me even though he was “straight” and i had transitioned.

sadly, this fantasy was violently ripped away as soon as i came back to reality. Mason had responded with clear discomfort, saying he wasn’t gay. i told him i knew he wasn’t gay, but wouldn’t he still love me for me??? i would still be the same person, so wouldn’t he still love me????? to which he prompty responded, firmly and bluntly, that if i were to transition and call myself a boy, he would break up with me.

this experience made me go back into the closet for 2 years.

fast forward to when i was 19, i was in a relationship with a transguy. since i grew up in a tiny homophobic town i was never able to date another trans person, and most likely put this person (lets call them...... Pickle) on a big ol’ pedestal because of that. Pickle had been out as trans for almost 5 years, and had been on T almost just as long. they were the first person to tell me that nonbinary people can be trans. they were the first person to actually make me feel seen and valid as not only a trans person, but as a boy.

i ended up coming out to them, in tears, as a transguy. i still felt really confused, i was a boy but didnt really feel connecting to masculinity. i wanted nothing more than to be a pretty boy but recoiled at seeing myself as a Man™. even though that relationship was incredibly toxic, Pickle supported me unconditionally through getting on hormones, they even bought me a new binder. they were the support i had desperately needed.

we had been dating for 8 months when i left town for a few days. something seemed off when i would text them, it felt like something was wrong, but they werent telling me what. Pickle was staying with me at the time, so i saw them as soon as i came back. they said they had something to tell me.

they told me that while i was out of town, they had had a major identity crisis, and realized that she was actually a butch lesbian. of course, i gave her a giant hug, i told her i loved her and that i was so happy she had figured this out about herself. thats when she started talking about us.

she told me that since she was a lesbian and i was a boy, we had to break up; as if this shouldve been obvious to me...... it wasn’t. as she sat there telling me things like “i still love you” and “and i wish things could be different” we both cried. a lot. i still couldnt wrap my head around what was happening. here she was, telling me she wishes things were different so we can be together, why couldnt we just be together as is??? if you want to be with someone, why does it matter if they’re a boy or a girl??? especially when you’ve already been together for 8 months??? it felt like it had a lot more to do with other peoples perceptions of us, it wasn’t because i was a boy, it was because she didnt think she’d be seen as a lesbian dating a genderqueer boy.

the next day i confronted her about this. i was so confused, i had given myself a headache and multiple panic attacks trying to figure out what the fuck i was feeling. she told me that she felt like we should break up anyway, that her realizing shes a lesbian was just “the final nail in the coffin”. i found myself even more hurt and confused than before. id told Pickle all about Mason, how i went back in the closet because i was scared of him leaving me. i told her about all the shame i had accumulated over the course of my relationship with Mason. despite her knowing all this, she still decided to scapegoat our own identities, rather than just own up to the fact that our relationship was falling apart already.

this experience made me question my entire identity, the identity i had JUST started feeling valid in. this experience made me eventually stop taking hormones. this experience made me feel more invaild and undesirable than ever before.

during this time, i started to also ID myself as a (nonbinary) lesbian. i had felt my attraction to men dwindle, and i was grappling with my attraction to women. but more than anything else, i convinced myself that being a boy = being hated. looking “like a boy” = being ugly and undesirable. not only did this feed into terf rhetoric, but its a result of being told my whole life that my worth is directly tied to my level of attractiveness, and that no one would find me attractive if i looked the way i wanted to.

it felt so much easier to stay how i was. all i wanted was to be seen as queer, and since people already read me as a lesbian, i might as well just settle for that, right? at least people would get it. at least people would see me.

i’m 22 now, and ive really only just started to deconstruct these things and unlearn my internalized transphobia and self hatred. about 6 months ago i started calling myself a boy and using he/him pronouns again, and for once i actually feel safe. for once i actually have a good support network. for once i actually feel seen. for once i actually feel loved.

to anyone who actually bothered to read this all the way through: healing is not linear and our identities sure as shit arent. if you’re in the closet right now, or if you’re questioning your gender/sexuality for the first or fifth or tenth time: i see you. i love you. you are so valid in your fear and confusion. the world still actively hates LGBT people, and that internalized fear is so real and deserves to be acknowledged, but please believe me when i say that there ARE people out there who hold the deepest love, appreciation, and camaraderie for you, even if you dont know them yet. your existence as an LGBT person in this world is inherently radical, please don’t ever forget that.

#oh GOD it took me almost 3 hours to write this kill me #vent #soapbox #long post

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

1. I was reading this headcanon or reddit thread about this person who thought Venollope from Wreck it Ralph 2 was gay because of her discomfort with femininity with the other princesses or discomfort with what she perceived as straightness. Lots of commenters were saying things like “not all tomboys are gay some are straight” which reminds me of when people say “its good that Cassandra from Dragon Age isnt gay because thata a stereotype:” Or Jack from Mass Effect. That seemed derailing

2. Second ask about Wreck it Ralph and Dragon Age. It also reminds me of when people say Jack from Mass Effect its good she ks straight to them because of stereotypes. It feels like straight people want more masculine straight women because they dont want butch gay kids and people to exist. Representation for butch gay kids is more important than straight girl feelings. Some others in the reddit thread were aaying ‘this is elsa all over again just because shes single doesnt mean she’s gay”

3. Sorry for my third ask about disney and bioware. Anyway the backlash to wanting a queer Cassandra in da, queer jack in mass effect, or queer headcanons of Elsa and Venolope in Disney movies bothers me. There was also a backlash to people wondering if that kid in stranger things is gay saying sexuality doesnt matter or that they are just kids. Sexuality does matter since straight people dont want non straights, they can slightly handle gender noncomforming but not non straight.

4. Sorry for my forth ask about Disney and Bioware and Stranger Things. Queerness in kids is not sexual. I have heard people say Dororo in Dororo or Lily in Zombie Land Saga shouldnt be trans because kids arent trans that young or my brother says that kids shouldnt decide to get on puberty blockers because kids are too young to decide what they want. Butch queer kids, romanc options and queer princesses and trans anime kids are important because these kids of real life persons hate themselves.

I’m not sure that it’s derailing. I think it’s just a homophobic response. Like yeah, gender nonconforming straight girls exist, and so do gender nonconforming straight girl characters. What doesn’t exist almost at all are butch queer women characters. The only ones I can think of are Big Boo and maaaybe Stef from The Fosters, but she’s a pretty borderline case. I have a feeling people think butch queer women are over-represented because that’s how they personally stereotype lesbians, but it’s not reflected in media at all. The closest thing we have are those characters like Alex Danvers who about as gender nonconforming as you can be while still wearing makeup, carrying a purse, buying all of your clothes out of the women’s section.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. Every time someone writes a blatantly gender nonconforming women and wants to act like it’s progressive that she’s straight, I want to rull my eyes so far they fall out of my head. Bioware is like, one of the worst offenders when it comes to this. And for what it’s worth, I didn’t read Vanellope as straight either. She definitely had a crush on Shank. 

And when it comes to the single argument, that really comes down to straight women not understanding that what’s progressive for them isn’t progressive for everyone. Straight women are raised with the idea that one of their most significant life achievements should be to get a man, and they either (1) assume that queer women are raised with the same idea but substituting woman for man or (2) don’t care that queer women staying single isn’t progressive for queer women because it’s what they need to see. 

Aside: There’s actually tons of groups of women for whom it’s more progressive to see themselves in a relationship than single. Those women definitely make up the majority, so I wonder (I don’t) why this narrative of “if she’s not single at the end, it’s not progressive” is so common.

So anyway, when you get people arguing that, for example, Elsa needs to stay single because that was the point of the first movie/her character, first off, it wasn’t. A lot of people like that Elsa didn’t have a romance, but that was hardly one of the movie’s themes. Second, the reason that Elsa not having a romantic arc was a big deal is not because she stayed single. It was because she didn’t have a romantic arc specifically with a man. So when people argue that a character like Elsa shouldn’t be gay because she should stay single (which, I should add, are not mutually exclusive, she could do both), I again want to roll my eyes so far they fall out of my head. The last Disney princess movie that didn’t have at least one princess who stayed single was Tangled back in 2010. This isn’t exactly rare anymore. And straight women need to stop acting like a character ending up with another woman is basically the same as if she ended up with a man.

This also gets at how quick people are to assume that if a lot of people are headcanoning a woman as queer, it must just be because she’s single and ignoring all the queer coding that’s actually making people think that. And when it comes to Elsa specifically, there’s a lot of it. Straight people won’t shut up about their gaydar, but when it’s an actual queer person saying, this character reads as queer to me because their experiences and mentality reflect mine, it’s “no, you only think that because she’s single.”

Finally, every queer adult used to be a queer kid. That’s why it’s important. I’m not really sure what else there is to say about that. That’s why having queer characters in kids’ media is important, and it’s also why having a queer kids in adult media like Stranger Things is important. There’s still a perception among straight people that you can’t be queer until you finish going through puberty or turn eighteen or whatever. Parents need to understand that if they think their six year old is going to grow up to be a gay adult, then that means they’re a gay kid right now.

Long-winded, I know, but a long question begets a long answer. I touched on a lot of things here, but if you want to focus on one of them specifically, hit us up.

mod k

#modk #the chances of elsa being explicitly gay are approximately .5% #but i can dream #anonymous #disney #ralph breaks the internet #frozen #elsa

[hakuteeth]

Harry Styles and the Concept of Gender

I have a lot of thoughts and I wanted a place to lay them all out so I’m sorry this is gonna be probably indecipherable but disclaimer I’m not saying harry is a gender he’s not this is just really exploring the concept of freedom with or without gender and expression of oneself thru clothes not so much about identity but the wider concept of the binary based around my own interpretations of it. A femme take on femininity thru a white man’s exploration of gender if u will so if u dont like that i dont care

also.... ive never taken a queer studies class but I love sociology so..... all these connections I make are from my own knowledge and arent meant to box harry in...

Gender defined from a sociological standpoint is based around how we behave and what actions we are expected to perform and for the most part a little give and take people can stick within this binary as it can be safe and comfortable and black and white. What’s interesting is when people step outside the norm and are more willing to explore that grey area that most people simply dont understand. This is interesting because it extends beyond clothing or makeup as most people don’t realize a man wearing makeup does not subvert gender because the gender binary is also inherently shackled to the concept of heteronormativity just as a woman completes a man, the soft counterpart to his masculine ways. 

Harry Styles and the concept of gender started for me with a dress. It never quite occurred to me that harry would wear a dress and reading the rolling stone article that harry had worn or would ever wear something quite as feminine as that. I think for a lot of people solo Harry Styles was a strange and beautiful uncharted territory of course many people came to suspect the new age rock n roll harry had to usher in but what’s fun is not so much deconstructing Harry as a soft rockstar but the idea that Harry has a femininity to him something I never saw until I noticed it everywhere in his clothing and even more interesting his actions.

The most interesting thing is Harry doesn’t quite believe in a gender binary when it comes to fashion possibly attributed to Alessandro Michele’s take on gender or perhaps the work of a really good stylist but I think if anything Harry also believes in that mission that gender could be redefined within the confines of fashion.

Harris Reed described his vision and Harry ended up wearing five different looks on his world tour introducing a student and relatively unknown LGBT designer to the masses and Harris has went on to say that Harry completely understood the connection clothing gender and sexuality have all shared since the dawn of fabric and it’s interesting when one also thinks about the time and effort this collaboration took considering Harris designed all these looks himself over a very short period of time. Harry wasn’t looking for somebody to dress him as what we normally see male popstars wear onstage, he was looking for a risk.

Gender like most things is more complicated than somebody might think. It extends beyond putting on a funky print before leaving the house it’s about the mannerisms, the actions, the behavior of the individual and the overall societal imprint. And Harry’s always been a bit softer than most. He’s always displayed his self as overwhelmingly kind to the point it makes my teeth hurt sometimes and he’s never overbearing. He’s quite quiet and subtle for somebody who can wear a loud pink custom gucci suit. 

Since 2013 he never shied away from looking or being a bit more feminine and he’s always exuded this calming energy or at least I believe if he had an aura it would definitely be soft pink. During his 2018 tour, every night he would tell fans that they were allowed to be whoever they wanted be in that room and it was all about fostering this environment where crying is manly and babies could choose their own gender  (which he said twice on tour). Also something that sticks out quite vividly is when a fan told him his mermaid has saggy boobs and he replied that everybody should love themselves. 

“We are men!” Then he prances away. That’s always how I picture Harry now him using his kilt to curtsey or him twirling like a ballerina on a football pitch. The concept of gender has extended more beyond fashion and into comfortability but also exploring what somebody may not be comfortable with at first but finding they quite like it. 

When men wear nail polish or when you gift your boyfriend flowers for valentines day. It all lies inside the confines of gender. Subverting gender doesnt mean men should wear makeup but it encompasses a vast majority of actions AND behavior or as I like to call it being a bit softer than most. Men have a tendency to bathe themselves in aggression and to assert their dominance and I’m not saying Harry can’t be masculine as well. One of his favorite hobbies is boxing but even then I’d argue that’s less about aggression and more about control and analytical power where taking down an opponent requires more than brute strength.

I believe there’s power in being feminine and there’s power in owning yourself, 100%, and what’s interesting is Harry is the one who taught me that. I think a lot of people see Harry as this mysterious figure and while he is more private than some people would like I also think he’s shown us a lot about himself and it all depends on us to draw our own conclusions. The thing is I don’t like Harry cause I think he subverts gender or I think he’s feminine. I like him cause he’s authentically himself without any concern for others and he’s different. I’m not a man I present as a woman so I’m subjected to an oppressive environment. I am wary at people who are unwilling to learn who are afraid of stepping outside the box ANY box and hold themselves so tight they can barely move. I see Harry as somebody who moves freely.

I could make an entire essay on Harry and the concept of heteronormativity but I’m going to stick with toeing the line on gender for right now but I do believe a lot can be said for cis heterosexuality and attending a harry styles concert. It felt a bit like a pride parade which was interesting how somebody who essentially had for years this show of heterosexuality somehow ended up being followed by lesbians and bisexual women as well as many gay and trans men fans. 

Well it’s not that hard to see. Harry’s concerts are more celebrations of being yourself and I’ve never seen Harry ever discourage that or shy away from defending his fans to him we are a group of strong men and women and girls are the future. Once again bringing the concept back to the gender binary, girls can do anything despite being told they are only good at some things.

I don’t think this vision of Harry is a product of fan pressure. I think Harry genuinely supports things like LGBT rights and I think he believes in it just as much as we do I can’t ever imagine him not doing so. He made pride merch and wasn’t getting a cent of it because it was all donated to an LGBT charity to benefit youth in schools. If we’re talking in the ways in which Harry explores gender the number 1 community for that has always been the LGBT community historically we tend to fuck around with the concept of gender so it’s not surprise to me that’s a community Harry advocates for. 

Harry’s solo career from the beginning has been about reinventing masculinity. He wore a women’s suit for his album photoshoot and bathed in flowers and pink lemonade for his album cover and though his album had some rock n roll tropes he’s never shied away from talking about women’s rights or lgbt rights. And even within One Direction Harry never felt like just another man to me. He’s somebody special. Not afraid of vulnerability, not afraid of being called gay, not afraid of expressing who he is thru clothing. 

To me it’s always felt like Harry wanted people to know this is who I am you can take me or leave me. Harry I feel is somebody willing to take risks putting himself in a dress in a booklet as tour merch. Saying we’re all a little bit gay on tour. Like moths to a flame outsiders are drawn to him at least I was. 

To me Harry Styles is carving out a place for himself in a world that can be very rigid. Harry isn’t following anybody’s path but his own setting out to reinvent rock n roll and always and forever being a bit softer than most. It’s an admirable trait in a world that has become quite scary as of late. 

#i got bored #so yall are gonna deal with this #long post

[dreadintensifies]

sorry you feel that way but setting a line is gatekeeping! its a "line" (gate) telling people u must be this or else u dont qualify. consider how wild it is to think u personally get to define how dysphoric someone should be before theyre trans. bc no matter how "low" your bar may be, its still there. also there will always be those im ur community with more reqs and a higher bar. the only way to not have trans ppl jumping through hoops to conform is for there to not be any hoops to jump through

unfortunately this is anon so i cant reply directly or privately, but in my personal opinion (once again this is my own thoughts and feelings, and i only speak for myself. dont twist my words.) then maybe there should be some amount of gatekeeping. listen its rare but there have been reported cases of someone transitioning before they were sure and it caused major dysphoria and was expansive and painful emotionally, physically, and sexually (sexually as in sexuality as in gender, physical sex, and sexual interests). okay my friend put this in a really good way so ima just quote her "no i mean i agree, i was having a conversation the other day about people who abuse labels and minimize others' struggles

like it's not up to me to decide whether or not someone is or is not trans or gay or anything, but using the label for the sake of using it waters down the real problems people face"

in my own words

""i cant choose the line but there is one and people need to consider it and how they treat it" kinda thing. you and i cant choose whos trans or not, but there still needs to be awareness of what is trans and what isnt so people dont use the label incorrectly and cause more issues for those suffering"

basically instead of forcefully telling people they arent trans (since. ya know. im not an asshole *cough at the person who called me a cunt and scum bc of this post*) make sure people are aware that there is a definition of trans. that dysphoria is important to, at the very least, knowing that you are trans (you as in yourself. as in the dysphoria or releif of dysphoria that made one realize they are trans) and that there is a line between trans and cis, and that there is a line between gender and sex, gender and social norms, gender and sexuality. not forcing people out of the trans community, but making sure they know what it means to be trans (there is a definition for a reason water it down too much and suddenly tomboys are trans and trans people arent aowed to transition at all bc it could be a phase) and make sure they know its okay to experiment, people are there to help them figure it out, and most importantly that trans is not the only option. not the only reality. so so so many people on tumblr slap the label of trans on everything and anything. a 12 yr old girl feels disconnect from social femininity but connect with her own sexuality? oh shes trans says tumblr. what we need to say is, this is what sexuality means, this is what gender is, this is how society treats it, this is what might be happening but also this.

is this making more sense? not gatekeeping as in forcefully keeping people out. but telling people what the gate is, what it means to be inside it, what it means to be outside it, and how their actions can impact others.

a real life issue for many trans people isnt gatekeeping. its the aggression from society who resfuses to learn bc tumblr makes it so hard to learn, so complex and difficult.

#decided to add some tags later bc im really proud of how well i worded this #and i think this idea can really help people #so yeah #trans #trucute #transmed #transmedicalist #gender #gender roles #transgender #transgirl #transman #nonbinary