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#also the acting was awkward and so was the dialogue etc etc. even the music was weird
misterradio · 2 years
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those reviews weren't lying that movie can be so bad it's amazing
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luxsea · 7 months
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so i finally beat bg3 for the first time last night :))
also hap halloweenie :]
(not all but some) thoughts dump
im honestly so glad i got spoiled for karlachs ending back at the start of act 2 so i had time to go thru the stages of grief, make sad playlists, etc bc my tav/karlach really hit me like a truck. i knew i was going to romance her before i even got the game bc she literally is the reason i started playing to begin with but doing her route feels very right for a first playthrough bc imo despite how devastating and lacking her story can be it sure does shine when its good. her introspective moments you can only get if you romance her are everything to me. knowing she cant be saved in the end lead me to choose more accepting dialogue options which lead to infinitely more satisfying and at times inspiring scenes than if i pushed the "what if"
as for the very end, in a way karlachs dying scene and/or going to avernus scene is a lot more than what most characters get even if theyre youre romanced character... despite her ending being shafted to begin with?? which is ridiculous. (correct me if im wrong. most of them had nothing to say and what ive seen uploaded ie shadowhearts romanced ending is so meh) lae'zels orpheus ending did make me tear up, everyone else was just kinda standing there wearing ridiculous armor bc i forgot.......
despite everything im really happy with karlachs scenes? and idk if thats just bc they were the romanced versions and bc i didnt have my hopes up for her (if i hadnt been spoiled i wouldve been LIVID) but it rlly was one of the most touching moments for me. the "how'd i do?" "you were spectacular in every way" "for you. and for the city, and for myself, and blah blah. but most of all for you" caressing tavs face and her repeating back to herself that she was spectacular like shes at peace just by those words alone. "it's the one thing i can't beat, isn't it? same below as above. i love. you." and the blue flames of all her love for them searing hot white and killing her engine faster?!? ough "you more than anything. i saw- ...goodbye, sun. goodbye, sea. goodbye" I FEEL SICK I FEEL UNWELL. i should be crying but my heart just aches she's just everything to me okay!!
and the avernus scene is better than i thought it would be, the music is so sweet and badass, sharing cigars!!, lots of gay fuel for my fire, the feeling that its just the start of a new journey and not the end, charging together into the hells its so mwah mwah as long as you ignore the trauma and the fact that we couldve solved this any other way!! (do wish wyll wasnt treated like an awkward third wheel if the three of you go considering he's the one who advocates for her and going to avernus is part of his ending too. but ofc im also going she's my wife and the interaction is rlly touching)
as far as the rest of the game the emperors writing was so flimsy and uh they did a really good job making it feel like your choices didnt matter much in the end considering the praise its gotten and how the game was marketed. rip it needs some serious work but i didnt hate it. karlach brain worms take a lot of credit
my highest praises overall are that ive never felt this attached to a player character that i've made before and ive never seen a more memorable cast of npcs. there's too many stand out moments to count that it makes the insane amount of lag and bugs i had worth powering thru
BUT IM FINALLY FREE I CAN FINALLY REPLAY AND DO IT ALL AGAIN BUT BETTER
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more thoughts about Wish:
Chris Pine has the best voice acting in this movie by far. Dude could be a legitimately scary villain if the animation wasn't so goofy
I'm telling you dude, the man is acting his ass off but the script and animation style are just ruining all the emotion he's giving
Alan Tudyk is also putting in the work but the script is not working in his favor
Evan Peters needs more lines. His character is legitimately interesting, a young guy who just gave up his wish and is now weirdly lethargic all the time, but they don't explore it enough
Speaking of the animation, it felt very inconsistent. With the King especially we'd get like... one cool moment (like him stopping the globes during his solo song) but then it's immediately cut by these goofy Nimona-as-Ballister type motions
The facial expressions are generally overblown, past the point of "animation stretching the rules" and into "this just looks goofy"
Like I said before, it feels like a patchwork of a dozen other, better Disney movies. My dad and I were watching this going "Tangled. Brave. Frozen. Peter Pan. Mulan."
The third act is like... Rise of the Guardians meets that one scene in Trolls where they sing True Colors
The music is just inconsistent. I think it mainly comes from the fact that they had a pop singer/songwriter do the music rather than a musical theatre composer, there aren't any consistent themes or leitmotifs and it leaves everything feeling very disjointed.
Some of the songs on their own are decently catchy but they just feel like they're trying way too hard
The dialogue is the same way. It serves a purpose but it doesn't quite feel natural or human. Some characters are worse than others and the VO work plays a role but the script itself is just awkward
I think they've just set up too many characters here. If they took two people out of Asha's friend group it would leave more room to develop the others. As it is, I don't remember their names and I have no idea what they want
Except for Asha since she's the main character and Simon because he's the only one who stands out from the rest (again, really interesting character! drastically underutilized!)
Feels like the talking animals are only a thing because it's a Disney movie. Valentino I understand, animal sidekicks are a classic, but the chickens and squirrels and mice are just too much
As a whole there's just... no substance in it. It feels like they've tried to make The Disney Movie and just started making it without even deciding on the themes or characters' journeys at all
It is a heaping pile of deus ex machinas. Every single problem in this movie is resolved in some cheeky little deus ex machina, solely for the sake of a stupid joke or a cheap reference to another Disney reference
If you're gonna copy Lin-Manuel Miranda's composition style anyway... just hire Lin-Manuel Miranda. At least he knows how rhyme schemes and leitmotifs work
This movie is so fucking trite it makes me legitimately angry
Good points I guess (because I refuse to dish on a movie without pointing out something decent about it):
Some of the songs are kinda catchy
There are a few powerful moments of animation, mostly with the King
There are little gold character moments here and there: the King's desperation for power, Simon's character as a whole, Asha's selflessness sparking the initial wish, etc.
Some of the voice acting is legitimately good!
The concept itself is interesting, a King who hoards wishes to make himself more powerful. It had the grounds to be a much better movie, it just didn't act on them very well
The diversity in this movie is genuinely good! We see various demographics of people - race, gender, physical build, disability, etc. - and there's not much "Disney same face syndrome" like we've gotten in other movies.
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kyogre-blue · 1 year
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In my increasingly desperate attempts to avoid the Liyue archon quest, I did Xingqiu’s quest instead. They already blocked each other twice anyway, so let’s call it preempting any further issues. 
I believe Xingqiu and Xiangling are the only two non-locked Liyue story quests. Regarding the locked ones, I’m not going to unlock them unless I have to. It just creates problems if they end up using some NPC or whatever. 
Regarding Xiangling’s quest: 
Springvale’s gentle piano music played over the start of her quest, while she was dragging you into bushes, staring at boars with drooling hunger, and going on about boom shaka-laka. It’s a very awkward mismatch. 
By my count, this is the first time we see Genshin’s long-running disease: endless shilling for a character. We get a lot of dialogue about how amazing Xiangling is, how she’s so famous, how everyone who knows a thing about cooking knows her name. None of the Mond cast got this, to what I recall. It’s bad. 
I do like Paimon and Xiangling’s interactions. Early Paimon had much more unique and separate relationships to other characters, rather than later on just acting as a poorly implemented mouthpiece to keep the story moving. She’s got petty arguments with Venti, understanding Xiangling when the Traveler doesn’t, getting mad at Xingqiu, etc... This part is nice!
They just introduce a catman who was on ice for centuries and do nothing with this. I don’t even know what the point was. He’s literally irrelevant?
Overall, a step down from the Mondstadt story quests, imo, but still okay. Short and sweet and does introduce Xiangling’s character in a suitably unique way. 
For Xingqiu’s quest, it’s much better, to a weird degree.  
There’s a lot to like, and I really get the feeling that they put in waaaaay more effort for this quest. Like, WAY more effort. 
Although it’s hard to pin down in detail, the camera usage and Xingqiu’s expressions and poses in particularly were much, much smoother and more carefully used than normal. They either copied more directly from somewhere, or they spent at least 5x effort on polishing how the scenes play out visually. The camera pans and direction changes actually mean something and match what is happening in the story, putting the other quests to shame. The generic animations are actually used well. And Xingqiu has so many expressions? Focusing on his face is, for once, not a waste. 
The story also is actually quite competently handled, to the point that it might be the best overall story quest from a general writing perspective? 
Xingqiu himself is handled well. He’s got enough quirky uniqueness to stand out, with both his bookworm nature (this is a character who likes books as a character trait, not whatever Alhaitham is pretending to do) and his overblown chivalrous roleplay. His dialogue is a rare case of having a noticeably different tone and style, which is the kind of thing that gets easily lost in rushed translations. He’s also cunning and handles the situation with smarts, compassion, and personality. 
The plot is also the best iteration of Genshin’s love for rather mundane and boring subjects. The stakes are presented clearly, the solution is given in a way that is understandable and framed interestingly enough to not be a huge chore, even the Fatui’s participation feels like good worldbuilding in general. Additionally, the way the Guhua clan background is handled was unusually deft. It is namedropped several times, and we can get the overall picture rather well from context clues. This actually serves as competent buildup to when Chang the Ninth directly explains a bit at the end of the quest. 
It’s an almost disgustingly competent quest. I can barely believe this was done years ago, and yet in the present day we’re getting stuff like Cyno’s quest or Nilou’s. Really, what is going on at Mihoyo?
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hopeymchope · 3 years
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About the Anon with the Zanki Zero CP thing: DETAILS PLEASE!
I'm not 100% sure what you're requesting, but I assume you want some clarification on my statement about there being child porn that was removed from Zanki Zero?
Okay, sure. But you'll need background to understand all this.
The first thing you must know is that the characters in Zanki Zero are all clones that age very rapidly and then, upon dying (either during gameplay or of old age), they re-emerge as wee children and do the rapid-style aging process all over again. The aging process naturally affects how well your characters perform during the "dungeon crawling" segments as well; children can't perform as strongly as adults, but they can fit into smaller spaces and access things that adults can't. The elderly versions are weaker than the young adults. Some switches that can only be activated by placing a certain weight upon them might be easier to trigger if your party is all fully grown. And so on.
Characters undergo painful "growth spurts" every couple of days, so you really only see them at specific ages. Those ages are:
— Child (said to be between six and eight years old)
— Young Adult (supposedly the characters' true ages, which range from 23 to 25 years old)
— Middle-aged (exact age unclear; probably around their 40s or maybe early 50s)
— Old age/elderly (exact age unclear; seemingly in their 70s?)
And when you age the next time after that, you automatically age into death from old age, and the cycle then repeats.
The second thing you need to know is that the game includes a "bonding" mechanic where you can get make two characters grow closer by having them share a room when they go to sleep. You can assign each character to their own rooms in the old motel, sure, but once the motel is fixed up to be nice enough, you can also match any two characters as you see fit. Bunking the characters together grants them buffs in combat the next day. And as their Bond levels up, you progressively unlock new cut scenes of the characters talking to each other and growing closer.
And at the FINAL stage of bonding, you can unlock a sexytime scene between them. There's some porn-sounding music, sparkles in the air, the characters are in various states of undress, and they talk flirtatiously in some fashion - maybe laden with innuendos, maybe just really awkward and nervous-like, maybe extremely overt about their intentions. These are called the "bedtime" events.
Here are a couple of examples of the CGs you might see during these events. Some of the others are more revealing than these, but there's no outright nudity... well, ok, there's at least one character who basically only has her nipples covered, so I guess it's pretty close? But anyway...
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You can unlock the bedtime event scenes between ANY pairing of characters, which is nice. You can make M/F, M/M, and F/F pairings as you see fit. Furthermore, you can even make your characters sleep around with each other like crazy; there's actually an unlock you can achieve only by making one of the characters get sexy with EVERY OTHER ONE, which is kind of hilarious.
AT LAST, HERE IS THE PROBLEM: In the original Japanese version, you can do all of this while the characters are in their child bodies. Which is, like I said, when they're six to eight years old. You can view the same kinds of scenes complete with the same kinds of sparkly CGs and porn music and dialogue about what they're going to do with each other, except now, the CGs feature fucking children in their underwear or barely obscuring themselves with sheets and hinting at sexual acts, ETC ETC.
This was VERY NATURALLY removed for the international release.
................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand cue the people who cried out "CENSORSHIP BOOOO" over this decision. Some of them have tried to argue that because the minds of these characters are in their 20s, that makes this somehow ok. I think those people should instead be asking "What the fuck possessed the people at Spike Chunsoft to EVER THINK THIS WAS REMOTELY OKAY?!" It's SO FUCKING NOT OKAY.
It honestly makes the question of whether someone should play Zanki Zero require some moral soul-searching, IMO.
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aveys6 · 3 years
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2x12 spoilers
out of order
all opinions
very subjective
not at all a skilled analysis
HERE WE GO
high points!:
- nick mohammed's acting my god.
absolutely amazing. the details of emotions all the way down to the way he wiped his tears and kept himself soft-spoken but so hurt. i could write an essay on nate's arc
- ted responding to nate during his outburst. that was powerful
i see such a parent child relationship between these people. ted responded in a gentle, non threatening way as if he was talking to a kid. not in an insulting way either, but as instinct. maybe that set nate off more
- the reveal of the ripped believe sign :(
the music :(
- cute ass greyhound
- roy and jamie friendship
roy saying FUCK when jamie is emotionally mature >>>>
- ROY BEING VULNERABKE WITH THE DIAMOND DOGS
- keeley being fit and also having a successful career and having successful friendships
- beginning scene with ted at his dining table + scenes at the bar with beard
- beard himself being a wonderful friend, perfect execution of annoyance and rage at nate
- ted trying to fix his 'mistakes' immediately by nudging nate's knee during the game + roy hugging him :(
- TRENT CRIMM, INDEPENDENT
- "WHISTLE, WHISTLE"
- team being protective of ted
low points:
- not enough football
i honestly wish the game itself had been given more screentime. this match was so incredibly important to not only the team, but every other character involved. in packing a bunch of emotions and plot points into 50 minutes, viewers lost a lot of the dynamic of the game which disappointed me
- pacing of the episode
did not enjoy the time skips, the mood switches, the wrapping up and/ or beginning of subplots in such short time etc. it felt very much like a season finale in that it felt like a summary, which i didn't really like
- filming style
shakey camera. felt odd. i could dig deeper and be like "maybe this was a way to humanize viewers and put them right in the semi-circle of players. maybe it was meant to accentuate imperfections and trigger some feelings" yada yada but as a first time view it just felt odd. i will not criticize any of the people working on the show. it was their artistic choice, they are so so so so so so incredibly talented. who knows maybe those shots will grow on me
- dialogue
some of the conversations felt forced and awkward? the higgins and keeley scene was a bit difficult to watch. even some of ted and crimm's, the timing was hard to connect with. there wasn't much of a comedy aspect to the episode so some of the pacing made dialogue feel empty
- akufo's tantrum?
i had no reason to assume he would act like that in the face of rejection. maybe i should have, considering he's rich, his first meeting with sam was overwhelmingly staged, and he generally has a flair for dramatics. i just didnt enjoy that his tantrum was used for comedy but wasn't funny. sam's reaction, on the other hand, was fantastic
TAKE THIS POST WITH A GRAIN OF SALT FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS:
im not a film critic
i watched the episode once while sleep deprived
i am most definitely forgetting parts of the episode i enjoyed and/ or did not
i did not write, produce, film, act, formulate the soundtrack, do any talented thing to produce ted lasso so my opinions hold no weight, just wanted to express them
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foxymoxynoona · 3 years
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Hey Foxy, do you have any tips for writing. You're so dang prolific, idk how you do it. HOW DO YOU DO IT?! 😂
I should probably track these answers because I *love* talking about writing.
I did a first post months ago with some of my process and tips which might be interesting to you here.
But I'll add some new things too! Here are some other questions I've been lately here or in ao3 comments.
Q: How are you so prolific?
I don't let shit stop me. Our brains can throw up so many hurdles in the creative process, and you have to tell those hurdles to eat shit. Can't think of a word? I put ****WTFWORD*** in the sentence and keep going, I can find it later. Need to fact check something? I'll put **TRUE?** Need to research something? I view that as a totally protected and valuable step, and I carve time out and don't consider that "not writing."
So I ignore those hurdles and I just write. About whatever! About anything! Sometimes I'm like, waiting in line at the grocery story and it's like, "oh, wouldn't it be cute if two people were in line and they were bickering over the headlines" and then I just write that. There doesn't have to be a point, you're flexing your writing muscle. Writing for me is a lot of putting daydreams down on paper, even if they're just isolated blurbs or just fragments or conversation or whatever.
Q: How do you stay motivated?
Sometimes writing is chasing an inspiration and the words just flow freely. Other days writing is a sore muscle and you tell yourself you are going to write 500 words even if they're about nothing, even if you're probably going to throw them away. You have to figure out when is the right time to take a break and do something else, or when is the right time to put in some work, even if it's not easy that day. Depends what the outcome you're looking for is, but I can promise you there are chapters of my story that have been a struuuuuggle to write --and the irony is they often tend to be the ones people love the most in the end! Even though I hate them because I'm aware of what a struggle they were to write!
I also highly recommend music, candles, pinterest, and snacking. I personally eat baby carrots by the bag full since gum is bad for my teeth. The act of chewing makes your brain work. I keep pinterest open and will literally bounce back and forth just looking at pictures every couple of sentences sometimes. Not even necessarily related pictures! It just give my brain a moment to take a breath.
Q: How do you write such built out characters?
I find people fascinating, even when they're terrible. Be open to the fact that people are wonderful and annoying, generous and selfish, all at the same time. If you don't occasionally want to throttle your own character, you probably are writing a character very much like you --which is ok! But if you write a lot of characters, you're not going to get that variety. Everyone has their own opinions, their own habits others find annoying, their own biases, their own dreams, and their own justification for why they do what they do. I do not worry about writing "likeable" characters for readers, only whether i want the characters in the story to perceive someone as likeable or not (Pippa is a good example! JK did NOT find her likeable in the beginning but everyone else did! The way he and others viewed a habit of hers completely different is a good example of how differently people can respodn to the same stimulus.) My personal style is more just to let people make their own down mistakes and have their own stupid opinions and quirks. I also spend time thinking about things for my side characters too --I know their backgrounds, their family, their dreams, their struggles, etc. Maybe not to the degree of the main characters, but enough that they can naturally be consistent and have their own little progress arcs in a story.
Q: Any other tips for writing?
Consume everything you can get your hands onto, but never compare what you're creating to someone else. There is not just one kind of good cookies, MOST cookies are AMAZING, and even a bad cookie is usually better than no cookie.
Learn all the "rules" of writing but don't hesitate to break them when it feels right. "Write what you know" or "show don't tell" or even grammar rules. No one's style or process will be identical to yours and that's fine.
Maintain a careful balance of writing to where you think you're going but be flexible when the story changes course.
Worry more about emotional sincerity and purpose than physical details (in characters, settings, etc. You can use the atmosphere in a room to emphasize that a character is stressed or sad or happy, etc.) But make sure that your physical details and staging make sense and are consistent.
Don't judge your characters. Sure, be aware of where you and they may disagree. Be aware of where your readers may have an emotional or upset response. But if you're writing your characters from a place of judgement, you aren't going to let them live their story and the whole thing will feel like a moral lecture.
TRUST YOU READERS. This is a hard one, because I see all the discourse about how "people are stupid and they'll miss everything." Some readers are going to misunderstand your intentions. Some readers are going to draw wild conclusions you never dreamed of. Some readers are going to get really mad at the things your characters do. But as soon as you start talking down to your readers, or dumb down the emotions you're writing about, or overly spell out the connections you want them to make, you're just going to alienate them. If readers do get something very differently than what you expected and it's lingering, stop and get a sense of what misled them. Remember that readers aren't in your head, they don't know the invisible strings, so probably it means you just need to re-emphasize something, or have a character reflect on something, or a particular wording came across differently. So fix it! It's all good! Stories are alive. But don't assume your readers won't make a connection or see something coming, just because your characters have blinders on in the story; work with that to capitalize on reader response.
Q: What about quick tricks?
OK here are some very specific things I've done:
- Give your word document a background color so you aren't staring at a white page
- Sit in a weird place in your house you wouldn't normally sit, like on the floor in a corner of your kitchen
- You've heard of edging... try some WRITING edging. You know you want to write that scene. The emotions are right there. Your brain is going wild. Let your brain go wild a liiiittle longer before you actually sit down to write it out.
- Read your writing out loud. This will very quickly reveal awkward phrasing, forced dialogue, and typos.
Ok ok I think that is probably enough blathering for now. <3 hope any of this was worth your time to read!
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lovelyserpentines · 3 years
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hi Meg!! I love your writing style so much, and I was wondering if you have any tips on how to make your writing flow better. like, not how to emulate your style, bc that's a precursor for disaster, but how to simply make your writing flow.
sometimes I'll get so in my head when writing a scene that it becomes too rigid, if that makes sense. for instance, I'll write a conversation between two people, and it feels forced or awkward. or when I'm writing about a character's feelings, it's as though I'm just shoehorning it in??
you make every scene natural while hitting emotional beats, so I thought I'd ask for some advice! sorry this is so long for no reason oops
first i just have to tell you that i saw this before i was ready to fully wake up, so in my dreamless state i kept remembering it and it made me feel very 🥰 the fact that you came to me about this out of like literally anyone is such a compliment oh my god.
second, i think my best course of action is to go through my writing process and explain it? obviously this is just mine and it won’t work for everyone, but maybe some part of it will click w you and help you feel more comfortable w your writing ❤️ (fun fact: i actually work in the writing center at my college and basically allll we do is focus on flow lmao)
so i get a lot of ideas for snippets of dialogue by listening to music. i like to act out possible scenarios to songs, and sometimes a particular bit sticks in my head and i go, “oh, this would fit perfectly here for xyz.” portwell’s conversation while dancing in ch4 came from that. (couldn’t tell you what song tho, bc oftentimes the music doesn’t even match what i’m thinking about fkdnfjf). i then write down whatever i thought of in my outline and let it marinate until i actually sit down to write it.
once i’m at my laptop and in the middle of the process, however, then i speak the lines to myself more than during music. it helps solidify how i think the character would look as they say something. are they squinting, are they sarcastic, what are their hands doing? that sort of thing. that leads to a lot of unintentional dialogue on my part bc new ideas continue to come to me while doing this.
you also mentioned emotional beats and writing about a character’s feelings. if a particular line would elicit a strong reaction from someone (look at the paragraph above for how i determine that) then THAT is where i include internal thoughts and feelings. normally this ends up being a paragraph all on its own for me, but sometimes it’s just a quick sentence of how they’re internalizing a piece of dialogue. (another thing—i tend to go overboard on clarifying what exactly a character is doing sometimes. instead of saying ‘gina moves her hand to his cheek,’ i specify which hand, maybe the speed, etc. i don’t think there’s anything wrong w that exactly but just know you don’t have to go into all the details like i do lmao.) look for the natural pauses. any moment of silence is great for feelings.
and as for flow in general, that’s honestly just something you get better at w time—and it still might not work 24/7. life. ᖍ(ツ)ᖌ but i do read over my work in its entirety, preferably in order since there’s so many scenes that bleed into each other. if it’s a shorter work (lmao so not any chapters of tsbu; don’t think i’m THAT crazy) then i’ll read it aloud as well. really hearing how a line comes out of your mouth can fix most problems tbh—whether they be flow, grammar, incorrect word usage. you name it, it’s normally noticeable and thus fixable after that.
ik you apologized for how long your ask was (which it wasn’t, but don’t worry either way! i love getting le things), but I’M sorry for how long THIS is omg. i really hope some of these help tho! ❤️
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justmenoworries · 3 years
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Fate: The Winx Saga - How Not To Reboot A Beloved Franchise
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Okay, I think I speak for everyone here when I say: We saw this coming.
We saw this coming as soon as that godawful trailer dropped on youtube. But because I hate myself and because I wanted to give this pile of shit a chance, I watched it.
All of it.
It sucked and I won’t do it again.
The End.
....
Nah, I’m kidding.
Here’s why Fate: The Winx Saga sucked ass.
(Spoilers under the cut! Pfft, like anyone cares.)
The Story:
I suppose now you’ll expect me to tell you that F:TWS was a generic, boring slog-fest.
That it offered the most clichéd take on a Chosen One-story since Eragon and that it’s half-assed attempts to be scary through bringing in a zombie apocalypse made it even more painfully obvious just how hard the story was trying to be edgy and ‘’’’’’mature’’’’’’’’.
And, yeah, that’s pretty much how it went.
...Oh, I’m sorry, did you expect something fresh and surprising?
So did I when I watched this garbage.
The title says Winx, but honestly the story is more about Bloom than anyone else. At least they were faithful to the source material in one aspect, am I right fellow Winx-fans?
I hope you like Alfea, because you won’t be spending time anywhere else! Gone are the dozen colorful, unique worlds with their own eco-systems and culture.
Now we have The Otherworld, which is just earth, but with magic.
Oh yeah, and remember how each magic and non-magic users had their own, specialized schools to got to?
Cloud Tower, Alfea, Red Fountain?
Yeah, that’s all Alfea now.
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Remember how Winx Club juggled great, charismatic villains and everyday teenage-drama in a way that made both seem interesting and neither obnoxious?
Fate fails miserably at that.
The subplot about the zombies- Oh, sorry, The Burned Ones ™  slowly invading Alfea couldn’t be more dry and uninteresting if it tried. You have hints of political intrigue in the background with the Solarians scheming and taking over in the end, but trust me when I say: You won’t care.
And since the character are either miserable, unlikable or both, you also won’t care about the teenage drama.
Because it’s every single teenage drama plot-line you’ve already seen in edgy reboots like Riverdale, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, etc.
To add insult to injury, season 1 ends with the villains and antagonists taking over Alfea with Solaria’s help, as if anyone would be baited into a season 2 after you just dragged us through a worse version of The Walking Dead.
I would say this is what you watch to lull you to sleep, but all the incessant whining and belly-aching wouldn’t let you.
And because this is the ‘‘‘‘‘‘mature’‘‘‘‘‘ reboot, there will be no transformations and no bright colors. Just some nice effects for magic and that’s it.
Because, you know.
No one watched Winx Club for those, am I right? /s
And because in modern, edgy reboots women can never just be friends, the Winx Club start out hating each other, until suddenly they’re the best of friends in episode 4, Stella included.
Cool, huh?
The Characters:
I’ll get straight to the point: The main cast is horrible.
Not acting-wise, the actors are doing the best they can with the script, but the way they’re written...
God, the way they’re written.
For starters, Stella is a Karen now. In the very first episode she attempts to get Bloom killed, then runs away to cry into Sky’s shoulder rather than apologize.
Flora was replaced by a white character named Terra, who the writers probably thought would be received well solely because she’s awkward and makes a lot of Strawman-Feminist statements.
Techna got straight-up written out.
Musa was white-washed and is a Mind Fairy instead of a Music Fairy now, because her being the Fairy of Music wasn’t ‘‘‘‘mature’‘‘‘ enough for this reboot.
Bloom is a whiny, spoiled brat who is willing to endanger absolutely everyone around her to get what she wants. And in the end, the plot rewards her for it.
Aisha is the only Winx Club-member who remains likeable, but she’s firmly planted in the supporting character-role.
Most of the Specialists got written out too. No Timmy, no Helia, no Nabu, no Brandon.
Sky is still there, but he serves mainly as a boy toy for Stella and Bloom to fight over, because that needed to be a thing, I guess.
Riven was changed from Jerk with a Heart of Gold who learns to be better to just a one-note jerk who never changes and never learns. He’s also not with Musa in this story. Even though their romance was by far the most engaging one in the original series, aside from maybe Aisha and Nabu.
We get a new character named Dane, but he’s just there to be either a bully-victim or a side-character for others to take advantage of. Did I mention he’s the only black guy in the main cast? Yeah. There’s also this really asinine running gag that he might be gay, to tease a possible relationship with Riven, but nothing ever comes off it.
The teacher-characters are all pretty much the same: Duty-driven, want to protect the ones under their care, but end up alienating them by not being entirely honest with them because they think their students aren’t ready for The Truth, blah blah blah, moving on.
The villains don’t fare much better.
The Trix got fused into one single character named Beatrix (haha, get it?) and she’s just... The Worst. And not in a  good way. She’s obviously supposed to be the Charming Bad Girl-type but you’re more likely to laugh your ass off every time she opens her mouth than be intrigued. Whoever wrote her dialogue clearly has no idea how teenagers talk. She hooks up with Riven and Dane for no reason in particular and it’s heavily implied these three are going to be the new Trix. Which is...no. Just no.
The headmistress’ secretary gets killed off in the third episode and doesn’t do much in the first two, so I have nothing to say about him.
Rosalind is a worse, female Darth Sidious who is trying so hard to get Bloom to join the Dark Side and I guarantee you, you will not care. The story also tries to present her as something of a well-intentioned extremist, but forgets to actually let her have a point in her murders and genocides.
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Hey, remember when Winx Club characters were different and unique?
The writers of this reboot clearly don’t.
The Aesthetic:
Hey kids!
You know what’s better than bright colors and nice, comforting palettes?
Slapping a dull grey filter on everything and calling it a day!
If I had to list all the reasons why Fate’s lack of style is so heartbreaking and disappointing, we’d be here all day.
So I’m just gonna show you a few screenshots from both the original series and the reboot and let that speak for itself.
The Original:
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The Reboot:
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Honestly, what do I even need to say?
The reboot sucked out everything that made Winx Club Winx Club and replaced it with “YA-novel palette #17247845453″.
Thanks, I hate it.
In Conclusion:
Fate: The Winx Saga could have been a new take on Winx Club’s story.
Maybe even introduced new concepts and characters tat could have been just as iconic as the original ones.
It chose to be every reboot ever instead, made everything grimdark and fundamentally misunderstood the meaning of “Gray Morality”.
Do yourself a favor and re-watch the original instead.
It’ll be a much better use of your time.
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senadimell · 3 years
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Fic writer tag game thing
I was tagged to do this by @rockymountainrattlesnake--you rock!
How many works do you have on a03?
5 at the moment. Someday I will finish the Martha Jones character study I’m working on...
What’s your total a03 word count?
107,733 officially, but one of those is an exerpt taken from a longer fic, which puts me at 105,782, and then we’d need to subtract out the poetry exerpts in Promises, so...
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
HA.
But I have Promises to Keep
The World in Ten Seconds
Growing Where Planted
Suspended Between Moments
Black and White are Also Colors
The order seems very logical.
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
Pretty much always. Sometimes I forget and write back months later, but I get really enthusiastic when people like my work (I swear I will answer my inbox soon!) Most of my stuff involves some degree of character analysis, so I enjoy continuing that discussion in the comments. (And compliments make my day, not gonna lie.)
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
That would be The World in Ten Seconds, I think. Looking at my work (published and unpublished), it’s a lot easier to be angsty when I’m doing an analysis-focused piece, because those tend to be snapshots in time. Narrative stories tend to end on a more hopeful note.
What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?
But I Have Promises to Keep by virtue of being finished. It’s not totally happy, but there’s a lot of catharsis in there.
Do you write crossovers? if so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?
Yes because my brain connects dots fast enough to make even a kangaroo court cringe. However, I haven’t published/finished any. I do have a Discworld/Doctor Who piece that’s a meditation on death, survivors, and moving on. The title will involve the word “Grandfathers.”
Then of course there’s the Q/Master epic enemies-to-lovers that I don’t have the guts to write.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
No! Very grateful for that. There was one awkward incident involving a commenter shaming non-commenters, but that’s behind us now.
Do you write smut? if so, what kind?
Nope.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? 
Not that I know of...? Seems unlikely TBH
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
well...there was that one Eragon set-in-Alegaesia OC epistolary back in high school...
What’s your all-time favourite ship?
hm hm hm hm. So I’ve found that I really like very very close platonic intimacy, except that sometimes looks like “you are the most important person in my life and I would die for you but we haven’t put a name to this thing we have and we don’t really kiss etc. but we might hold hands/cuddle/whatever and it doesn’t mean anything and I know random mundane things about you like your shoe size or soda preference (did I mention I would die for you?)” which sounds kind of like shipping? 
So I’d have to say Nine/Rose or angsty Ten/Rose, with an emphasis on healing (see: RockyMountainRattlesnake’s Polyergus, A Wretched Ark, Terminarch, V762CAS’s Than All the Blue in the World).
I usually stick more or less with canon in most fandoms--if it’s not there, I don’t/can’t imagine it happening since romance is kind of weird and foreign to me. I tend to go for established relationships rather than “will-they-won’t they” stuff (Tevye/Golde, Vimes/Sybil etc. Though if we’re going musicals, I do actually like Elphaba/Fiero. I’ve never read anything about it, though.)
OH! I forgot! I don’t know if this counts, but I’m obsessed with sixbeforelunch’s Vulcan OCs, T'Lin and Veral, in the Pi’maat series.
Also the very specific way Erik/Christine works in Antiquarianne’s Phantom of the Opera piece The Sum of Earthly Happiness.
What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
I don’t know if I’ll be able to finish the Grandfathers piece...it’s Discworld-primary from a stylistic perspective, and uh...I am not Terry Pratchett. I want to finish it, but I’ve got to be in the zone (reading a lot of Discworld stuff to get a feel for the style) and have SO MUCH PATIENCE because mimicking him is like writing poetry, if poetry was an accepted form of forced confession to be read for ridicule on live TV.
What are your writing strengths?
Purple prose.
yes i know that’s not supposed to be a compliment
.
Seriously, though I do tend to wax fruity in my writing, and I have a lot of fun with it. I think I’m also pretty good at writing conversations and arguments.
What are your writing weaknesses?
hehehehe
kill your darlings.
Editing? Who is she?
Which is funny, because I also do that stupid thing where getting words-on-paper is more painful than drawing a fishhook out of the fish’s throat when it’s mangled deep in the flesh. Is it perfectionism? I don’t know. Not in the anxious sense, certainly, because I can’t be chuffed to do a line edit before publishing. It’s more like I have two modes:
“Susan mad Grandfather confused insert Wrinkle In Time reference exept Uriel weird out of context IT vs keys of Marius brains fight”
or
“He’d known what Jackie was going to pull before Rose even passed on the invite, and he went and acted like Rose’d saddled him with an old ticket stub fished from her pocket. Trifling. Something you tossed in the first bin you saw.   You think pretending it was only ever ‘her choice’ will wash away the guilt when you finally kill her?
That and...actually writing. Lost my mojo a while back and haven’t been able to get back into a routine since. Balancing life stuff and creative hobbies is a work in progress.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I think I generally would limit it to well-known exclamations or phrases for the most part. I’m familiar enough to use some Mandarin and not utterly fail, but I know I don’t have the rhythm or grace of a native speaker and it’s not something I have in mind to pursue right now.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Hm. Fortunately that is all tucked away in hand-written notebooks before I got perfection-scared off of writing past the 7th grade. I’ve been doing the whole fanfiction in my head consciously since 2nd grade, but the first stuff I think I wrote down was either Snape stuff or Eragon/Alagaesia stuff. Not exactly worldshaking.
What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
The World in Ten Seconds! Gah, I’m so proud of that thing. Also I really adore Black and White are Also Colors, though some of my favorite bits aren’t published yet. That one’s a lot more idiosyncratic...a lot of infodumping about color and language and ideas in translation. I’ll probably get the next chapter of that up before I’m able to start working on Growing Where Planted.
Tagging (feel free to answer or not as you have desire or energy--also I’m sorry if I have misremembered your fic-writing tendencies or lack thereof) @pazithigallifreya​ @phoenixrisesoncemore​  @forever-food-and-fandoms​@loupettes @elialys  @onlycosmere​
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gascon-en-exil · 3 years
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Who Can Say if I've Been Changed For the Better?: Ferdibert Does Wicked
This concept has been a bit in building. It started from a much-loved cover by Hubert and Ferdinand’s VAs inspired by their support line and the broad observation that these two are a musicals couple who absolutely would sing their feelings in all manner of theatrical AUs. It continued through my later observation that there’s ample material to carry that idea even further, albeit with a shift outside of Crimson Flower for a better tonal match. Still, I’m not quite sure what to call this project; it’s not really a headcanon nor is it fanfic by any means. I’ve written a handful of longform character/narrative explorations before, although when it comes to FE I’ve previously been inspired to do so only for Jugdral characters. That setting is somehow both underdeveloped and deceptively dense - and I suppose in a way you could say the same of Three Houses as well, insofar as it’s been incredibly popular for fan content of all sorts.
Regardless of what this post is in terms of my fandom output, the following isn’t exactly a Wicked AU as such. Rather, it’s how I would envision a hypothetical blend of the non-CF routes of FE16 centering around the Eagles trio and set to the structure and songs of the musical as organically as possible. There are no 1:1 analogues with characters and plotlines from Wicked, because few if any would exist without a lot of tweaking; to use the VA cover example, Ferdinand might be a decent proxy for G(a)linda, but the mere presence of Edelgard substantially complicates Hubert’s claim to the Elphaba role. The similarities only unravel further from there, but I did my best.
Writing this out gave me the opportunity to play around with Edelgard’s character as a way of addressing what I and many others in my circle have long considered to be some of the major problems with her canon presentation. For Ferdibert meanwhile I got to make use of my headcanons for how their relationship would develop outside of their support line, in a way that mostly preserves Hubert’s delightful evil wickedness. Add some ruminations on how one would splice together the non-CF routes in a dramatically satisfying fashion, some snark directed at the non-character of Byleth, and a bit of background Dimidue/Lions OT5 for spice and that just about sums it up. Enjoy this…whatever this is.
Act I
“No One Mourns the Wicked”
The show opens on the citizens of Adrestia celebrating the death of their emperor and the end of her bloody war. Ferdinand rides in, resplendent on his steed, and is hailed as the new Duke Aegir as he relates to the crowd the news of Edelgard’s death at the hands of the combined army of liberators. The “Are people born wicked?” flashback sequence is replaced with a summary mostly in pantomime of Edelgard’s backstory: the Insurrection, her being taken to Faerghus and then returning, and then being experimented on by the Agarthans before agreeing to work with them. Notably Hubert is not named or referenced anywhere in this song, appearing only as a boy at Edelgard’s side at appropriate times during the flashback.
“Dear Old Shiz”
Someone in the crowd finally brings up Hubert, the emperor’s vile and murderous minister, and accuses Ferdinand of having been his friend. With Ferdinand even more flustered than Glinda since his “It depends on what you mean by friend” definitely carries sexual undertones, so begins the flashback to Part 1. There’s an equivalent intro of Garreg Mach, so one may feel free to insert any headcanons for school songs here. The following dialogue scene establishes the student body in general and the dynamic of the Eagles trio in particular: Ferdinand pompous and eager to one-up Edelgard at any opportunity, and Edelgard and Hubert cold and dismissive toward his antics and just about everyone else for that matter. Edelgard is instantly enamored of the quiet new professor, of course. Because the room assignment conflict doesn’t make a lot of sense with the monastery’s setup, instead Ferdinand is incensed that Edelgard is chosen as the Eagles’ house leader over him even though it’s been ages since a Hresvelg has attended. Neither Nessarose nor Morrible has an exact equivalent (although Seteth can act in Morrible’s role as the academy’s main authority figure), so the segue into the next song ends there.
“The Wizard and I”
Now alone together, Edelgard and Hubert have a brief dialogue outlining their villainous plans for the school year. This establishes Hubert’s hypercompetency but also how detached and professional Edelgard is around him. Then comes the song, now “My Lady and I,” which serves as Hubert’s character introduction. In tones more sinister than Elphaba ever reaches - you know he’d have fun with “When people see me they will scream” - he outlines his history with his lady, that he delights in serving her because she validates his work ethic and gives him an outlet for his ruthlessness and cruelty. Where Elphaba fantasizes about the Wizard removing her green skin, Hubert instead goes full Nice Guy, believing that once he’s given Edelgard her continental empire and crushed all her enemies she’ll be so grateful that of course she’ll put out for him.
“What Is This Feeling?”
You could rip the tone of this one directly from the Ferdibert C support and change nothing - homoerotic subtext included. I like the thought of Hubert replacing Elphaba’s deadpan one-word summation of Galinda with a mocking imitation of Ferdinand's most memetic line: "He is Ferdinand von Aegir!". The chorus can be made up of any number of other students excluding Edelgard, who’d happily agree that Hubert is ugly, creepy, and downright unpleasant.
“Something Bad”
The content of this song and surrounding scenes would have to be completely altered, but they work as a necessary reminder that the plot of Part 1 is still going on in the background of all the school drama. Seteth runs through the major events up to Chapter 9 of the game, including the bandit threat, Flayn’s kidnapping, and the experiments on the Remire villagers. The audience/accompaniment for this exposition dump ought to be Dimitri and Claude with Byleth as a silent observer (more on them later), with Edelgard brushing off the news and eventually being the one to shut down the song as Morrible does. There could be some small side character moments in here as well particularly involving the Lions and Deer since they get so little focus in this story.
“Dancing Through Life”
Speaking of which, this was an awkward sequence to place. It matches up chronologically with the ball in Chapter 9 and the main part, Fiyero’s, is a dead ringer for Sylvain and his flirty, hedonistic nihilism (“Nothing matters / but knowing nothing matters!”), but it’s hard to tie into what’s going on with the Eagles trio particularly with the Ferdibert timeframe preserved, i.e. unlike Elphaba and Galinda they don’t become closer until after the timeskip.
As such I see this song as an opportunity for little vignettes with the other students: Dimitri angry over how Dedue’s talked about and hoping they can share a dance (fitting contrast with the coldness of Edelbert), Felix prickly between Dimitri’s recent outbursts and Sylvain’s showboating, Claude hinting toward the bigger picture with Hilda flitting between her excitement over the dance and knowing more than she's letting on, Dorothea casually taking note of Edelgard’s fascination with Byleth (see just below), Bernadetta as a wallflower who doesn’t want to be disturbed (a setup for Act II), etc. Thanks to one of the Forging Bonds events in Heroes I had the thought that the "You/we deserve each other" through line that later gets attached to Nessarose can become one for Dimitri's relationships, with Felix initially throwing it out at him and Dedue and the two of them then turning "We deserve each other" into a romantic line...and then an ironic one and finally a triumphant one come Act II, by that point with Felix et al included as well.
I’m not sure that the following scene of Galinda and Elphaba bonding on the dance floor really needs an equivalent, although it could be altered to something Edeleth-related. In any case Ferdinand ought to get a dance scene of some nature, so he can try to show up Edelgard as he brags about in canon.
“Popular”
It would be a travesty to have a musical starring FE16’s cast and not give Dorothea and/or Manuela a solo. This song works quite well for the former, and it doesn’t intrude on the Ferdibert development with the aforementioned timeframe and how the lightly sapphic vibe doesn’t translate well to two guys. Dorothea has taken note of her good friend Edie’s crush on their mysteriously wooden professor, and she senses the opportunity for a makeover. Not as exaggerated as Dorothea trying to make over Hubert, naturally, but I still think this works out well. Also, Galinda’s observation on leaders, “Did they have brains or knowledge? / Don’t make me laugh! They were popular!”, is darkly comedic when said to Edelgard.
“I’m Not That Girl”
This song comes with preceding dialogue scenes for setup, so those first. Edelgard emerges fresh from her makeover (given her general hot for teacher fixation, I’m thinking she’d lean pretty hard on the naughty schoolgirl look) to Byleth silently grieving Jeralt’s death - bad timing there. She’s as callous about it as she is in canon, only now with more clumsy flirting, and while it’s impossible as always to tell if Byleth notices or cares Hubert most certainly does. The scene segues into the Eagles trio together, with Edelgard alluding to the upcoming events in the Sealed Forest and indicating that Hubert should meet up with her later for some more villainous scheming after he’s ditched Ferdinand. Ferdinand, indignant about being left out of the loop as he is in canon, grumpily points out that he was a much more splendid dancer at the ball than Edelgard, makeover or not. To his utter surprise, Hubert acknowledges that this is true before leaving. This leads into the actual song, altered from homoerotic via triangulation of desire to an outright sexual awakening for Ferdinand. He realizes that part of his jealousy toward Edelgard is that he wishes Hubert were devoted to him instead, and tells himself not to get his hopes up because he’s, well, not that girl or even a girl. We shall of course leave aside how anyone could be attracted to someone as repulsive as Hubert; that’s part of the inherent comedy of this pairing.
“One Short Day”
This was the hardest song to place in this whole project. The touristy trip to the Emerald City just doesn’t have an analogue in the story of Three Houses, especially not late in Part 1 when tension is mounting toward the upcoming reveal and war. It took me a while to realize that it works wonderfully as an Edeleth piece: Edelgard invites Byleth to Enbarr for her coronation, but that scene is left offscreen in favor of a light romp through the city that further highlights Edelgard’s crush as well as her emotional immaturity in spite of everything she’s about to do. She just wants to have a fun day out and take in the sights and eat sweets with her beloved teacher, and it’s all very “Edge of Dawn”-esque where Edelgard knows she’s about to do terrible things that will change everything forever and hopes to prolong the time until she has to take that step. Adjustments to the lyrics could even work in reference to that song to make the similarities more apparent. An awkward/funny issue here is that I envision Byleth to be totally silent throughout this musical with no sung or spoken parts, which would naturally make them having a duet impossible and make Edelgard’s fascination with them even weirder. Even their gender should be left ambiguous throughout, somehow never confirmed if it’s m!Byleth or f!Byleth. It would take a lot of reworking, but I can see the value in it.
“A Sentimental Man”
The core of the Wizard’s character is not all that different from Rhea’s. Both were thrust unexpectedly into positions of authority that required them to enact a large-scale deception to maintain their power/safety, and both are driven somewhat by parental feelings. The tone of the Wizard’s songs doesn’t align well with Rhea, but once you cut out the vaudeville and do some rewording I could see this one working as Rhea addressing her child (among other things) Byleth at the Holy Tomb just before the Flame Emperor reveal. Of course the dramatic irony hits differently; Rhea knows who and what Byleth is whereas the Wizard doesn’t learn about Elphaba until the end of the show. Nonetheless this would still establish Rhea’s character and motivations as well as set the stage for the impending betrayal.
“Defying Gravity”
Said betrayal being Byleth’s, who decides to stand by Rhea and condemn Edelgard as the Flame Emperor when she arrives with her army. This is another song in parts that would need to be broken up. Edelgard gets the bulk of it, but the middle sections between Elphaba and Glinda could work as a kind of separated duet with Edelgard and Hubert attempting to convince Byleth and Ferdinand respectively to join them. Because of Byleth’s silence only Ferdinand can reply in song; only he and Edelgard add the “my friend” bit to the end of this segment, to illustrate the unevenness of Edeleth and Ferdibert at this point in the story. Then things turn to full bombast, albeit darker than in Wicked proper. Edelgard does the belting, Hubert’s sinister laughter reverberates below her (would it be too tasteless for him to be leering up her skirt the whole time?), Ferdinand has Glinda’s mournful “I hope you’re happy!” toward Hubert, and through this and the reprise of “No One Mourns the Wicked” the major events of the timeskip are enacted in pantomime or silhouette. Byleth tumbles off a cliff, Rhea is taken captive as is Dimitri but Dedue rushes after him, and Claude makes a tactical retreat. Side note: “And if I’m flying solo, / at least I’m flying free” is classic Edelgard fixating on Byleth and forgetting that Hubert exists.
Act II
“Thank Goodness”
A surprisingly tough one here. The core of the song, pivoting around the double meaning of “I couldn’t be happier,” suits early Part 2 Ferdinand perfectly, second-guessing his choice and, outside of CF, melancholy about fighting his homeland. In terms of plot it’s an easy translation too, with the crowd announcing the terrible things the Empire has been doing to win its war - persecuting believers, abducting civilians and turning them into Demonic beasts, consorting with inhuman shadowy figures who can disguise themselves as ordinary people - and the assembly working as a way to bring together the leads of the three routes: Byleth, Dimitri (who had Dedue always at his side and thus never had a full psychotic break), Claude, and Seteth, with Ferdinand representing the Adrestian resistance. It’s only the wedding announcement that’s hard to pin down, and I toyed with a number of ideas including Dimidue making yet another public declaration of devotion to one another or Ferdinand planning to follow through with his arranged marriage to Bernadetta they have in their supports (which makes more sense in light of the following sequence). In the end though I don’t think the marriage element is strictly necessary, leaving the song as a means of catching up with the cast five years later and seeing them united against Edelgard - with Ferdinand’s private regrets the only sour note.
“Wicked Witch of the East”
More a dialogue than a song, but still important. Bernadetta is arguably the Eagle other than Hubert most comfortable supporting Edelgard, because all Edelgard has to do is put Count Varley under house arrest for Bernadetta to sing the emperor’s praises. I can also see her as the same sort of self-centered, negligent ruler that Nessarose becomes in Wicked, not because of an unrequited attraction but because of her reclusive desire to be left alone. I see this scene playing out as Hubert surprising Bernadetta at her estate, angry about rumors that she may be helping the rebels and/or engaged to Ferdinand if going with that plot point after Edelgard has done her the favor of locking up her father. He’s fully prepared to, ahem, “persuade” Bernadetta, but before he can break out the torture implements Ferdinand arrives asking for her to support the rebels’ cause.
Farcical, sure, but it gets the two of them together again after five years and underscores how strong their UST has become in their time apart, with Hubert too flabbergasted to attack a known enemy and Ferdinand expressing how happy he is to see Hubert again despite everything. Each learns that the other isn’t as happy about his chosen path as he’d hoped, in Hubert’s case because his lady has grown ever more distant from him as the war has dragged on. Bernadetta cuts through the tension by bringing things back to the song (sort of) and blurting out that she knows both sides are marshalling their forces near Gronder Field. Ferdinand is too caught up in the fraught romance angle to do more than leave with this new information, but Hubert recovers enough to condemn Bernadetta for her flagrant misrule (venting by inference his frustrations toward Edelgard in the process) and resolve to set her on fire for her treachery.
“I’m Not That Girl (Reprise)”
The Gronder rematch happened offscreen - and Bernadetta was indeed set on fire - and on the Imperial side Edelgard is left increasingly frustrated over her losses and hurt that Byleth still refuses to listen to her and continues to fight her regime. You may notice that I’ve shuffled around the middle of Act II, necessary at this point in order to better line up with FE16’s story and Hubert and Edelgard’s separate narrative climaxes while also ensuring that those climaxes don’t overlap too much. This song is only a brief reprise, but it’s a significant one; Hubert finally realizes that Edelgard will never love him. It’s also kept gender-neutral, because Byleth.
“As Long as You’re Mine”
That segues naturally into this moment. Ferdinand sneaks into Enbarr using his unexpected stealth powers (I usually talk about Dedue having them, but Ferdinand shows he’s no slouch in his Mercedes supports) and encounters Hubert. Their UST boils over in a furor of awkward, impassioned sex and also this song. I like the idea of rewording some of Fiyero's lines to incorporate Hubert's acidic snark: “Maybe you’re brainless, / maybe you’re wise.” It’s all very desperate and sensual, ending with Ferdinand taking Elphaba’s line about feeling wicked for the first time - which will have a dark reverberation two songs from now.
“Wonderful”
Again, axe the vaudeville and it’s a solid Rhea song. There’s just the small problem of Rhea being captured at this point in the plot; I thought about moving this number toward the very end at first before reconsidering. While Hubert and Ferdinand are rolling in the sheets, a distraught Edelgard confronts Rhea in prison. Rhea responds to Edelgard’s frustrations with Byleth with her backstory in song, much more somber than the Wizard but, like him, still willing to rehabilitate her estranged listener. The bits of this song about the nature of history are especially relevant to what Edelgard falsely believes about the church and what she views as her own legacy, so I could see this as an interesting character study on what Edelgard actually wanted with her war apart from dragon genocide. There’s a lot that could be done here in the dialogue surrounding those revelations.
“No Good Deed”
However the interrogation of Rhea turns out, Edelgard takes a leaf out of SS Dimitri’s book and visits Byleth alone at the monastery, only to be as harshly rebuffed as is possible to be without the rebuffer speaking. Then comes this song, which was incidentally the one where I realized that Edelgard would need a major role in FE16-does-Wicked even with the Ferdibert focus. Hubert fully embraced his evil wickedness long ago and wouldn’t think twice about being wicked or being perceived as such, but Edelgard is a different matter. Here she breaks down, admitting that her good intentions were largely selfish and that she regrets that her war has cost her any relationship she could have had with Byleth (continuing the joke at his expense, Hubert goes unmentioned when Edelgard names the people she’s lost/failed). It ends with a foreshadowing of her Hegemon form, the sign that she’s abandoned all pretense of goodness and become truly wicked.
“March of the Witch Hunters”
Another ensemble/vignette piece, checking in with the various members of Byleth’s army as they prepare to storm Enbarr. Dimitri hopes for the chance to forgive his stepsister, Claude has big plans for the continent and wants to remove the threat Edelgard poses, Seteth is desperate to find Rhea, and Byleth…is there. As in many of the songs, the self-righteousness of the crowd here rings more sincere and less hypocritical than in Wicked given Three Houses has actual villains, but it still works.
“For Good”
The song that inspired this whole thing, now with many paragraphs of context to set it up instead of only some fluff based on the Ferdibert A+ support. Ferdinand sneaks into Enbarr (again) ahead of the battle, and their second love ballad is more somber as they resign themselves to their fates. As in the VA cover, Hubert refuses to ask forgiveness for anything and Ferdinand is fine with that.
“Finale”
Wicked reduces the final battle from The Wizard of Oz to silhouettes backed by sections of “No One Mourns the Wicked,” and that’s what comes here: Ferdinand and Hubert facing each other in battle, Edelgard becoming the Hegemon before being defeated and then dying as in AM’s final cutscene, and Dimitri taking the throne with Dedue at his side and proclaiming his intention to do all he can to restore both the Kingdom and Duscur - and that his first act as king is to announce that he and Dedue have decided to open their marriage up. This is met with much manly cheering and stripping and someone (Ashe?) saying incredulously that he didn’t even know they were married. End silhouettes.
The final scene with the Wizard and Morrible becomes Claude, Seteth, and Byleth rescuing Rhea. Rhea names Byleth her successor as leader of the church and says that she will go into quiet seclusion and do what she can to correct her mistakes. This all suits Claude just fine, who tells everyone that he’s off to take care of some other business and that Byleth will make a great archbishop - and also they can have the Alliance, no big deal. As with the King of Faerghus’s gay orgies, the King of Almyra’s grand ambitions are too large for this story to do more than allude to.
Next, Ferdibert does a version of the Elphaba/Fiyero scene, with Ferdinand revealing that he had Hubert spared on the condition that he help root out any remaining Agarthans and that he remain under house arrest at the Aegir estate. Ferdinand was also required to assume governance of the Empire, because Dimitri wasn’t getting that dumped on him as well. They can be together, but the general population can’t know that Hubert survived lest Ferdinand’s reputation and basic ethics be compromised…which in a darkly funny hypocritical twist then segues to Ferdinand pontificating before the crowd at the beginning of the show, reprising “For Good” with Hubert until they’re drowned out by “No One Mourns the Wicked.” Thus the story concludes on one of my favorite things about Ferdibert: perhaps even in this non-CF continuity Ferdinand wasn’t changed for the better by falling in love with the Most Wicked Man in Fódlan, but they’ve both been changed….
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love-geeky-fangirl · 3 years
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Ranking every Teen Drama I have ever watched
(Updated)
The Secret Life of the American Teenager
+ young Shailene Woodley and Molly Ringwald I guess
- everything else. Even Shailene Woodley's and Molly Ringwald's performances weren't that great because the writing is just oh so bad. The background music is bland and repetative and it sounds like out of some teenager's YouTube chanel. The plotlines are ridiculous and convoluted, which isn't neccessarily such a bad thing, because it is a teen drama show after all, the problem is the show seems to take itself too seriously. Other entries on this list also have ridiculously convoluted plotlines, but I'm ranking them highed because they don't take themselves too seriously and don't claim to be realistic like this show does. Seriously, from the title it suggests like this was going to be a real, uncensored look into high school but it's the furthest thing from it. Not to mention how problematic it is- God forbid someone suggests that a 14-year-old pregnant girl gets an abortion or gives the baby up for adoption without being seen as a terrible and despicable person.
Otp: Marc Molina x a job somewhere far, far away from these kids
Notps: every single pairing on this show
Best moment: literally none
Weirdest moment: "I'm such a whore!" "Well, you're my whore." What were the writers thinking??? Was this supposed to be romantic??
We Children From Zoo Station
+the aesthetic, the casting of Christiane, Detlef and Axel
-this was such a letdown. Honestly I was so hyped for it after seeing the trailer since I've read the book and didn't particularly like the movie- I feel like it's hard to fit all of Christiane's story into 90 minutes. That's why I was so excited about this show. Christiane's story covers so much, so it's easier to make it into a TV show when you don't want to ommit anything and butcher the story. But they somehow managed to do it anyway. They changed so much for no reason and completely erased Christiane's childhood trauma, which was important in the book. Now, I know you can say that it's just a loose adaptation, so it doesn't have to follow the book word for word. But I feel like if you already decided to tell her- a real person's story- you should at least do it authentically. Imo they shouldn't have tried to make the setting vague. It worked with Sex Education because the story of Sex Education is timeless. However, Christiane's story is not timeless. It's a true story set in the 1970s. If they were making a new show from scratch, I would have liked it. But this is an already existing story and they’re supposed to be just retelling it. My last issue is a nit pick but I wish the actresses playing Stella and Babsi were reversed. It just would've fit better.
Otps: all those kids x sobriety
Notp: Christiane x Detlef
Best moment: Christiane's first time in Sound was pretty true to the book
Weirdest moment: when Detlef became a gigolo because he needed money for his dog. Who tf thought of that?
Pretty Little Liars
+ makeup, style, the theme song, the drama and mystery that always kept me guessing, the cliffhangers at the end of each episode that made it so addictive, Emily's coming out story, Hanna and Spencer had some good lines
- the mishandling of some serious issues (namely eating disorders), romantization of student-teacher relationship, the timeline not making much sense, these writers seem to put more thought into the characters' outfits than the storylines
Otps: Emily x Maya, Hanna x Caleb
Notp: Ezria
Best moment: Hanna and Caleb in the shower (the sexual tension was cuttable with a knife)
Weirdest moments: Aria asking Ezra out in the middle of a make-up test (it was supposed to be cute but it was just cringy), Spencer trying to block A's text messages on a laptop, in the middle of a park (what? Spencer, you were supposed to be the smart one!)
One Tree Hill
+ Brooke, the theme song, Chad Michael Murray
- the casual drinking and driving (I mean seriously these kids play a drinking game at a party and then casually hop into a car and drive home??), too much basketball and cheerleading (that's not a bad thing per se but I just don't really care about neither of these things), it just seems too stereotypical and kinda bland?? I couldn't really get into it
Otp: Naley
Notp: Peyton x Nathan
Best moment: Naley by the dock
Weirdest moment: "I guess I'm just a riddle, wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch." It's not really a bad moment but a cringy line. I guess the writers though they were being clever but it just sounded bad.
Dawson's Creek
+ the clothes, the 90s aesthetic, the 90s soundtrack, many movie references, Pacey is a sweetheart, Jen is a feminist icon, dealing with mental health issues through Andie (it's rare to see in shows as old as this)
- the slutshaming of Jen really hasn't aged well, the storyline of Pacey being statury raped by his much older teacher was mishandled (it was either treated as scandalous, cool or in Andie’s case somehow shameful), same goes for Jen’s backstory- it was mentioned she was raped at 12 by an older man and then never brought up again, Dawson is the most unlikable protagonist ever and his friendship/relationship with Joey is codependent and possessive, the dialogue is sometimes pretentious and unrealistic, the timeline doesn't really add up- I can never tell what time of the year it's supposed to be, because it looks like it's always fall for some reason. And how did they sophomore year have two homecomings?
Otps: Pacey x Andie, Pacey x Joey (yes, both at the same time)
Notp: Dawson x Joey
Best moments: Jen helping Joey when that jerk was spreading rumours about her and then Jen and Joey locking Abby in the closet together (I love it when they stick together instead of tearing each other down), Pacey and Joey bickering
Weirdest moments: when Joey was upset because Dawson didn’t want to tell her how often he “walks his dog”, when Jen was about to have a treesome at a party and Dawson walked into the room and carried her out despite her kicking and screaming
Glee
+ funny, Sue Sylvester's iconic, great covers and a way to find new songs, the performances are aesthetically pleasing, lgbtq+ representation, tackling of serious issues, coming out story, a father who’s accepting of his son’s sexuality right away despite not really understanding it (it’s so rare to see, that’s why it’s so refreshing), the plotlines are ridiculous but at least the show doesn't take itself too seriously
-as I already said the 1st season was great but after that it just seemed like the writers made up a checklist of hard issues they should tackle and tried to tackle every single one of them while covering every single song and it just fell flat. Prime example- Quinn ending up in a wheelchair getting into a car crash to warn us from drinking and driving, singing I’m Still Standing and then suddenly being able to walk normally after. a few episodes Rachel and Finn got almost all songs, while other characters were criminally underrated and underused (Tina, Quinn, Mercedes). The teachers are questionable to put it mildly. Cringy moments- Finn singing You're Having My Baby to Quinn in front of her parents when it wasn't even his baby! Also no one except of Kurt looks like they could be in high school. And why are these cheerleaders wearing their uniforms 24/7??
Otps: Brittana, Sam x Quinn, Tina x Artie (unpopular opinion, I know), Mr Schue x unemployment
Notp: Quinn x Finn
Best moments: Quinn giving birth to Bohemian Rhapsody
Weirdest moment: Rachel's gross and painfully awkward crush on Mr Schue, Mr Schue joining the Glee club on the stage for a performance of Toxic and girls in the audience cat calling him (Ewww)
Euphoria
+ Zendaya's and Jacob Elordi's performances, tackling of serious issues such as drug addiction and overdose, anxiety and depression, abusive relationships and abortion in a better manner than most (if not all) teen dramas, the aesthetics, makeup and wardrobe, the musical number in the finale, the special episodes giving us insight into the characters' psychology, toxic relationships not being romanticized (which is sadly rare), teenagers sounding like actual real life teens (no "I reject reality" crap)
- lack of comic relief (why so serious all the time), sexualization of teen characters (I know this is something many teen dramas are guilty of but it's the most evident here), too much nudity (I know some of you are going to come at me with: "But it's realistic!" So what? It is realitic that teenagers get naked when they go into shower but does it mean we have to see it?? It seems to me like this show is trying too hard to be "boundary pushing" at times and ends up being scandalous just for the sake of being scandalous), these characters just aren't believable as high school juniors to me (they sound like high schoolers but they certainly don’t act, look or dress that way). There's no reason this show couldn't have been set in college.
Otps: Rue x sobriety, Nate x prison
Notps: Nate x Maddy, Cassie x McKay
Best moments: "You did this to me!" and the musical number in the season 1 finale
Weirdest moment: the fact that Maddy lost her virginity at 14 to a 40-year-old man being mentioned so casually because apparently she was "totally in control". Excuse me what??
Skins
+ style and makeup- each character has a signature trademark (Sid and his beanie, Effy's eyeliner, Cassie's soft eyeshadow), their British accents, I'm pretty sure this is the only teen drama that follows multiple classes, teenage characters being played by actual teen actors, the characters looking like average people you meet in high school and not as if they just walked off the runway, dealing with serious issues such as drug abuse, eating disorder, parental abandonment etc (yes, some people claim the show romanticized it, but I disagree. It's not the show that romanticized it- it's the fans. The show tried to portray the dangers of drugs as well as possible. Think about it- every time characters used drugs it ended in a disaster. In the pilot they thought that Cassie overdosed and ended up crashing a car while rushing into the hospital. In later season Effy hit her friend in the head with a rock because she was having a bad trip. That's not romanticizing drugs.), Effy is iconic and honestly the first episode was enough to get me hooked
- every single teacher being a creep and having a thing for a student at some point, the show can get too dark and unncessarily dramatic at times. Did that many people have to die? Did Chris's death really have to be this graphic? Timeline doesn't really add up- are 8 episodes supposed to cover the whole year? It would've made more sense if there were more episodes in a season.
Otps: Chris x Jal, Emily x Naomi
Notps: Sid x Michelle
Best moment: ooh baby it's a wild world
Weirdest moment: Chris's graphic death
The OC
+ more grounded in reality than many others on this list, the theme song, the love stories, Seth and Summer are funny, the friendships are believable and the whole group has great chemistry
- too many unneccessary fights, Luke is the worst, everyone is way too casual about drunk driving, these parents are WAAAY too chill (I know this can be said about many teen dramas but it's the most obvious here. How did the Roberts and the Coopers let two 16-year-old girls go to Mexico alone?? With no supervision?? What?)
Otps: Seth x Summer, Ryan x Marissa
Notp: Luke x Marissa
Best moments: the “oh no, there’s only one bed” in the Mexico episode, Seth and Summer's first kiss and that kiss at the yacht, Ryan and Marissa's first date by the pool
Weirdest moment: these parents letting their teenage kids go to Mexico alone. It's irresponsible when they're 16 but apparently they let them go there and party every year. What?
Gossip Girl
+ every episode having a clever title, the style, the makeup, the 00s soundtrack, the glamour of it all (it feels like reading a very gossipy magazine!), all the scandals, this show never pretends to portray the realitic teenage experience so it can pretty much be as far-fetched as it wants to and you can’t question it, it gives you a chance to live the fantasy of being super rich, living with a penthouse, riding a limo to school and going to parties in New York City every night
- the final reveal doesn't make any sense, just like with PLL these writers seemed to have put more thought into the outfits and makeup than into the plotlines, romantization of a toxic relationship, having every two straight characters date or hook up at some point, which just felt forced, mishandling of serious issues (Blair's eating disorder, Eric's suicide attempt and Serena and Jenny's sexual assault from the pilot being brought up when it's convenient but not really dealt with and brushed off at other times), sexualization of teen characters
Otps: Dan x Blair, Serena x Nate
Notps: Chuck x Blair
Best moments: the Thanksgiving flashbacks, Blair and Serena running around New York and taking selfies in stolen dresses, Nate and Serena’s first time (although it was better in the books) and then their kiss at the white party, the sheer scandal of "I killed someone", Dan giving Blair a plastic tiara to make her feel like a princess
Weirdest moments: Chuck's father returning from the death and then dying again, by yeeting himself off the roof
Freaks and Geeks
+ probably the most realistic teen drama there is, the characters dress the way I can see actual teens dressing, funny, but also heatbreaking at times, probably the only teen show that included an intersex character, the characters being a little stereotypical but self-aware at least, young James Franco and Jason Segel
- the bullying being a bit too much at times and it's a bit unrealistic that the teachers would do literally nothing about it, too short- I will never understand why this got cancelled
Otps: Daniel x Kim, Lindsay x Nick, Amy x Ken
Notps: Sam x Cindy
Best moments: Sam breaking down at the end of Garage Door, Daniel and Kim getting back together in the rain
Weirdest moment: Cindy doing a 180 and becoming super mean when she started dating Sam.
Gilmore Girls
+ so many movie, literary and music references, the quotable lines (what a great way to learn about new movies, books and bands! It’s so unique for a TV show to make you smarter), the witty banter, the comfort of the first few seasons (it really feels like wrapping a warm blanket around yourself while holding a hot cup of coffee, I can’t explain why, but it’s such a comfort show), the quirky small town with many unique festivals, many entertaining and snappy fights where everyone has a point, characters dealing with real world problems (seriously, how often do you see a storyline about termites? Or a teenager with zit cream on a teen drama show?), this is also one of the few shows where teenagers are shown to have rules and restrictions and curfews (finally some kids growing up with strict parents representation) and doing homework and studying and not just partying and drinking and having sex all the time and that’s so refreshing
- but while it is refreshing to see teenagers waiting to have sex and not doing it behind every corner, the show is kind of sex negative. Every single time a (female) character loses her virginity it ends in a disaster. Even when she loses it after she’s married! It doesn’t make any sense, unless the writers just really hated women. Also slutshaming (”I got the good kid!”) ewww. The money and budget doesn’t make much sense on the show either and the girls seem immune to calories. I know some people might come at me for this with: “But it’s just a show!” but I think it’s harmful to show beautiful, thin women eat nothing but tons of junkfood all the time and never excersize and then fatshame people who do excersize but aren’t fortunate enough to be blessed with amazing Gilmore genes, and then throw around tactless references to eating disorders.
Otps: Lane x Dave, Jess x Rory
Notps: Lane x Zach, Rory x Dean, Lorelai x Christopher
Best moments: Then She Appeared, Rory’s valedictorian speech, Lorelai’s graduation
Weirdest moment: Lorelai and Christopher getting married in Paris at 4am. That’s not how it works in Europe. Do Americans think every single Europian country works like Las Vegas, where you can just get married whenever you decide??
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non-sequitura · 3 years
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Non-sequitura Disney in-depth analysis (after making a tier list)
Warning: SUPER longform. If you don’t know a movie well, you should skip the summary. I tried to be light on spoilers, but they’re there.
I went chronologically from favorite to least favorite. So S tier is, in order from fave to least fave, The Incredibles, WALL-E, then Zootopia.
S tier (Something I consider high quality AND a movie I greatly enjoy. I would love more Disney movies be like this.)
The Incredibles - one of my favorite movies of all time, possibly THE favorite. Rockin social commentary, epic action scenes, memorable characters, not a minute of screentime wasted, great take on the Fantastic Four, hilarious parts for both adults and children, an interesting villain, etc. 
WALL-E - I love how social commentary was done here. Also skies above, what a beautiful love story. Really blazed a trail in non-verbal storytelling (especially given it was an animated kids film!) Robot animations are particularly delightful. 
Zootopia - another social message delivered excellently and entertainingly. I love Judy and her persistence, I love the expressiveness of the faces and the epic city setting. I love Judy and Nick's banter. This movie deserves to be remembered longer than it has been so far. Admittedly, not one of my fave villains, which makes it my least favorite of the Ss. 
A tier (either super high quality or something I greatly enjoy and deem of at least reasonably good quality)
Mulan - this movie did everything right. Truly feminist protagonist, an icon for strong Asian women, fairly culturally accurate (tho Mushu confuses me), GORGEOUS and iconic music. Lets a relatively natural romance develop. I frickin love the action scenes, I love the emporer. Sadly, this movie just didn't lodge its way in my heart as well as Pixar did. Pixar just has some magic, yo. 
Cinderella - my gosh what an underrated protagonist. Her family straight-up abuses her and she never loses sight of her goals for a better life. Iconic visuals helped bring Disney out of bankruptcy. A gorgeous alto singing voice. 
Wreck-it Ralph - alright alright ppl don’t crucify me for this. I honestly can’t think of much wrong with this movie. Vanellope and Ralph’s vitriolic best buds relationship is adorable, her forgiveness of him is heartwarming and (relatively) deserved, rockin’ Owl City song, epic visuals that mix together bc of all the different games. ALSO ONE OF THE BEST DISNEY VILLAINS NO CAP. One of the only twist villains I like. And we stan the romantic pairing. 
Tangled - I’ve talked about this a lot, but Rapunzel deserved the whole world after what she’s gone through. That being said, Gothel is not some shallow monster she needs to escape from, but an intelligent, well-defined monster with backstory. I could totally see this story happening if the world of Tangled existed. Epic love story, hilarious dialogue. Music is… good but much of it is less memorable to me. Visuals are good but not quite at the level/creativity of many other disney films. 
The Lion King - they really put Hamlet in Africa and pulled it off lol. But in all seriousness, no one took the premise of this film seriously at the time and it became sooo iconic. I love Scar and his eventual downfall, I love how Simba grows emotionally, I love the sad moments that don’t overpower the overall feeling of light goofiness. And music so memorable it was one of the first Disney musicals. 
Coco - not a super unique story premise. But an incredible culture to explore with such creativity and sensitivity. I love the themes of death not being the worst and music being so central to the story. Twist/twist villain was memorable and not expected. And yeah, it did make me cry, so props there. 
Ratatouille - the most recently watched of these films for me. This movie is soooo unique! Back when Pixar was truly super out there with their concepts. Super Parisian visuals and soundtrack. It somehow starts goofy (THE OLD LADY TRIES TO KILL REMY WITH A SHOTGUN WHILE WEARING A GAS MASK) but really drives home the message that you can truly do what you want regardless of who you are. Colette can get it. And the monologue by Ego at the end is one of my favorites in film. 
Frozen - Anna is one of my favorite Disney protagonists. She’s so resilient and loyal. Elsa ain’t bad either but she experiences… less character development. The film is a tad too pleased with its own self-awareness for my taste, but there’s no denying how iconic the music and visuals were. 
Inside Out - Alright, this movie hits home for me bc I tried to run away after moving. A super thoughtful, heartfelt depiction of (potentially depression? imo) with great moments of humor. Riley’s inner world is so creative and lovely. Also realistic depictions of Minnesota/California culture. 
Tarzan - Jane! is! smart! and! adorable! Her scientific curiosity makes her very endearing. it’s so cute to see her and Tarzan learn from each other. Also Tarzan’s “found mother” is epic. Solid score. Solid film all around. To quote Lily Orchard, “This film is what Pocahontas tried to be.” 
B tier (one of my favorites but has a few significant flaws that bring it down (or not quite as memorable to me, but consider good quality))
Peter Pan - Haven’t seen it in a hot sec, but I remember being super charmed by this as a kid. Just going out, having incredible adventures, and returning to a warm home at the end of the day. Tinker Bell is hilarious and beautifully drawn. Gets major negative points for the depiction of Native Americans tho. 
Big Hero 6 - I was super charmed by the protagonist, his family/friends, and the setting. The plot/villain’s motivations are a bit of a mess, though. 
Princess and the Frog - This movie has so much flavor to it! The visuals/music are lovely and unique. Tiana is incredible but it’s kinda annoying how EVERYONE keeps trying to shoehorn her into romance. The thing is, her goals are entirely reasonable. Focus on her restaurant, then look to settle down. But they’re like “nooo you’re ignoring the important things in life” smh. Also, epic villain, woohoo! The movie dragged significantly for me when they were in the bayou. Charlotte is delightful. 
Winnie the Pooh - don’t remember it super well, but I think it was charming and occasionally dark, which is an addictive concoction. 
The Little Mermaid - MAN ppl roast Ariel way more than she deserves. Visually, it was… fine. idk. This movie is good. I don’t have much else to say about it. 
Snow White - the one that started it all. Visually, super impressive. Musically, lovely. I find the romance a bit… off. Well, more than a bit. What is it with Disney and kissing sleeping people? 
Alice in Wonderland - a nerdy acid trip. Right up my alley! I also like films where ppl go on incredible adventures and return to the status quo, but THEY changed bc of it. Epic. SUUUUPER creative visual interpretation of Carroll’s book. Brave - gosh I loooove films where a parent and child learn to understand each other. Never got why ppl hated this movie so much. The Scottish flavor is present and fun. Merida made one mistake and made it up. The arrow scene is iconic. 
Cars - a fun ride! (hahaha puns.) We love seeing Paul Newman as a car. 
B-minus tier? (same as B, but problematic, or weaker story-wise.)
Hunchback - man… settings-wise, this film might be my favorite. I also love Esmeralda and Quasimodo as characters and as a duo (though the sexualized depiction of Romani ppl is not epic.) I also don’t find the discrimination against Esmeralda/Quasimodo jarring bc it matches the time period. Frollo is super interesting as a villain. The gargoyles are… def not necessary. Basically, this film doesn’t know what it’s doing with tone. 
Sleeping Beauty - Aurora was my favorite when I was younger because I thought she was the prettiest, and that still defines how i feel about this, basically. Visually lovely - everything is kind of elongated and gothic. Maleficent is spiteful and epic. I have no issue with the fluffier parts of the movie, like the music or the fairies. RIP for lack of consent being a plot point, though. 
Hercules - Megara is incredible. one of the only Disney “princesses” who acts like an adult and has cynicism as a major part of her personality. I love her and Herc’s progression where she learns to trust him (yes, he is genuinely that sincere, it’s not a front.) Muses are unique, whoever came up with them was high on something and I’m living for it. I just think the plot itself was somewhat unrealistic/ weirdly-paced. There are some memorable songs, some less-than-memorable songs. Art style is cool but I’m personally not a fan. EXTREMELY inaccurate depictions of the original Greek gods. 
C tier (entertaining, but I don't consider it a great movie)
Bolt - I watched this like 11 years ago. It was fun! A cool concept about those put on a pedestal learning their worth even without celebrity boosting them up. Animation was… fine I think. not super memorable to me. 
Frozen 2 - They really took any scrap of character development Elsa had in the first movie, threw it in the garbage and set it on fire. Anna deserved so much better. Songs are bombastic and impressive, have the occasional interesting lyric, but are really weirdly placed and none are quite as iconic as the first movie’s (except Aurora, she does great work here. Also the song Anna sings after she thinks Elsa died.) 
Not a big fan of the vaguely homeopathic theme. Not a big fan of Olaf’s WEIRD character development. Not a big fan of the suuuuuper awkward dialogue and the animations that imply not only that Kristoff is into his reindeer but that Elsa and Anna are into each other (if you’re questioning if they did that, yes, they did, I can find screenshots of some really weird expressions/moments. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PANDER TO YOUR WEIRD FANS, DISNEY.) 
The voice actors did great work, the animators did great work (look at the details on their clothes! Look at how Elsa’s posture changes to be more confident! look at how they're animated while they're singing!) Some weird costume/makeup choices that make Elsa look like an aging starlet, but she also has some gorgeous moments so eh. It’s a wash for me. 
They really did not know what to do with Kristoff this movie, huh. The only thing that happened to him was singing a cheesy 90s ballad and marrying Anna, both of which were admittedly epic. Also, the trolls got 0 appearances despite being literally psychic. Probably could have helped with a lot. I'm not a huge fan of lore/worldbuilding, and thee was a lot of it here. Overall neutral on it. 
Also a big theme in this movie I don’t love - **** TANGIBLE CONSEQUENCES TO OUR ACTIONS!!! The danger is Elsa’s death, the elements, colonialism, and Arendelle literally being destroyed. None of those end up playing out, so I was left at the end going “this film had literally no stakes.” 
Monsters U - same as above - entertaining at the time! Not super memorable. The ppl we were supposed to dislike kept switching. Doesn’t really match the canon of Monsters Inc (I thought they were supposed to have known each other since childhood so why did they meet in college?) 
Cars 3 - so apparently, everyone HATED this movie! Fun! I never watched Cars 2 (yes watched Cars 1 if you haven’t been paying attention to this list), but I didn’t think this movie was bad at all. Well-acted, some fun chase scenes, the scene where Lightning fails at driving in the simulation is genuinely hilarious, and some interesting perspectives on teachers getting the spotlight for their skills for once. 
Incredibles 2 - I liked this film at first, but then it was… just okay in retrospect. I love me some good family dynamics. The plot here makes not a lot of sense. THEY BUILT UP THE UNDERMINER FOR NOTHING AND THEN FORGOT ABOUT HIM. I was surprised by the villain swap, but it happened so last minute I never really understood their motivations even after they explained them. Tried to tackle waaaay too many messages. 
D tier (I didn't enjoy these or consider them mediocre)
Finding Dory - Maybe I should have put this higher? Like C tier at least. Ah well. Wasn’t a huge fan of the body/physical comedy (not my thing), but it was entertaining and awww finding family is heartwarming. 
Finding Nemo - I remember nothing about this movie. 
E tier (this film has significant problems)
Beauty and the Beast - *sigh*… I want to love this movie. The score is gorgeous. Visually, they could have made it more distinctly Rococo-era France but didn’t (why?) The voice actors did good work and I think Paige O’Hara is SUPER underrated here. 
The Beast is emotionally manipulative with an awful temper that (for MOST of the movie. He doesn’t change.) That’s the main reason this is in E tier. This movie shaped so many generations of people thinking they can change the behavior of someone who treats them badly through the power of love. But you can’t. She learns to “love” the beast under coercion. It’s not Stockholm syndrome - it’s a trashy romance novel. Big fan of Gaston as a villain. He’s an archetype ppl can recognize and it’s so satisfying to hate him.
F tier (I think this film actively harms the industry and would rather it not have been made. Both the one in E tier could be considered harmful to the industry, but I think they had significant enough artistic accomplishments to scrape above that. I'm also generally a fan of "lack of censorship bc it's better to teach what not to do.")
Pocahontas - this movie took real historical events and romanticized them AND sexualized one of the only Native princesses they’ve had. Boo. Nothing wrong with animation!Pocahontas as a character, it’s just people put her in a story that doesn’t represent history well at all (and these historical events, unlike those in say, 14th-century Germany, had super relevant effects on people alive today.) And they portrayed the Native Americans and colonial settlers as equally in the wrong. (though I like Governor Radcliffe as a potential villain and love the line “see how I glitter.” I can’t NOT laugh when I hear it.) Lovely music, though. Nice animation, but the colors are weirdly… muted? 
Bad Garbage (I don't wish this film had never been made, but I wish I never had to see it.)
Planes - this movie was ridiculous. I remember not much about it except that I kinda hated it and that it was super cheesy with tension one could see right through that immediately resolved itself via one twist or another. 
Haven’t seen tier: Recess, A Bug’s Life, A Goofy Movie, DuckTakes Movie, Lilo and Stitch, Pinocchio (actually i have seen this but I remember nothing about it), The Nightmare before Christmas, Toy Stories 1, 2, and 3, Up, 101 Dalmatians, The Great Mouse Detective, Cars 2, Moana, The Good Dinosaur, Pete’s Dragon, Fantasia, Peter Pan Return to Neverland, Fantasia 2000, The Black Cauldron (read the book, though!), Bambi (or I did and remember nothing about it), The Rescuersm, The Rescuers Down Under, Planes Fire and Rescue, Bambi 2, The Fox & the Found, Oliver and Company, Atlantis, Treasure Planet (I want to, though), Piglet’s Big Movie, The Jungle Book, the Emporer’s New Groove, The Jungle Book 2, Chicken Little, Brother Bear, The Three Caballeros, Pooh’s Heffalump Movie, Dumbo, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, Aladdin (seen parts but never the whole thing), Strange Magic, The Sword in the Stone, James and the Giant Peach, Frankenweenie, Lady and the Tramp, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Doug’s 1st Movie, Monsters Inc. (want to, though), Meet the Robinsons, Dinosaur, The Aristocats, Robin Hood, The Tigger Movie, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, that pooh movie at the end without the title on it
-11/21/20
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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years
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December 2: 1x26 Errand of Mercy
Errand of Mercy is truly a trip. I’m swiftly losing my ability to be coherent because I need to go to sleep but here are some attempts:
First of all this is, of course, a straight-up, pure, unfiltered Kirk/Spock episode with a tiny bit of unrequited Kor/Kirk on the side. Like, we’re not even going to pretend to find stuff for the rest of the crew today. I see you, Gene Coon.
This is the first Klingon ep. I just... the actual Klingon-centric episodes ARE good, but the Klingons in general are pretty boring and I legit don’t understand why they became the standard Star Trek villain. (DC Fontana apparently thought that it was because their make up was simpler v. the Romulans, acc. to Amazon trivia and....I’ll buy that.)
Is the “cultural scale” called the Richter cultural scale? I seem to recall another scale with the exact same name....
I get why there would be such a scale but they are dead wrong about where the Organians fall on it.
Anyway not to harp on this yet again but @ fanom this isn’t the military right?? Lol
Oh, no, it’s Code One! No idea what that means but the music tells me it’s a big deal and it’s bad!
“Curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want.” He’s talking about war but I can think of some other things that fall into this category.
I think it’s pretty funny that Kirk records his Captain’s logs in public.
CAPTAIN SULU.
“There’s a war happening, so Mr. Spock and I will just leave the ship... together.”
“You’ll get out of here, Sulu, and leave Spock and I... alone.”
“You’ll fall back to rendezvous with the rest of the Fleet in the Laurentian system.”
Why do these people show no interest in us beaming down into their village? Hmmm, I wonder. If the Organians really were what K and S think they are, beaming down in that way would be uh a bad idea.
Spock seems much less awkward at gesturing than Kirk does.
Finally, by the end of the season, they’ve figured out the context for the Enterprise: Starfleet, the Federation, etc.
I wish the Organians were our alien overlords and taylor.
So the Klingons are a military dictatorship.
Kirk finds them so frustrating. I feel like this ep falls into the genre “Kirk is frustrated by hippies.” All this generic peace talk and faultlessly chill attitudes are just not him.
“I’m a soldier, not a diplomat.” That’s why Spock likes him so much.
The Organians are trying to follow the Prime Directive but Kirk is making it SO HARD.
“Space vehicles.”
I know the Klingons are actually supposed to be in yellow face but you know what it looks like black face to me and I RE-ALLY wish they had not done that.
They look good in those Organian outfits. Love that they kept their command and science colors lol. I feel like this is the sort of outfit AOS Kirk wishes he had in that boring ass closet of his.
Mr. Spock does not look like an Organian.
I MUST know more about these “not uncommon” Vulcan merchants. “Dealing in kevas and trillium.”
KOR IS SO INTO KIRK. This flirting is the least subtle. “You’ll be taught to use your tongue.” “Where is your smile?” “You’re a ram among sheep.” “I need your obedience.” “You seem to be in command.” Is all of this supposed to sound sexual or...?
Right up there with “a stallion must first be broken.”
Whereas Kirk is so not into this. That expression says, “Don’t even think about talking about Spock’s tongue.”
The mind sifter is actually a crazy advanced sci fi machine and STID wanted us to think Klingons don’t have warp usdfsf go fuck yourself.
Kirk is so turned on by Spock’s mental strength.
Every spare moment of this ep is given over to K/S flirting. They legit act like an old married couple. “I thought you were going to fight that guy.” “I just might.” Or whatever.
I love that Kirk’s method of fighting is to literally launch his WHOLE BODY at enemies.
Whereas Spock’s there just running awkwardly in the background. He is Not coordinated friends.
Kirk’s speeches ARE admirable. He is lacking context here but in general if they WERE an oppressed people, this should be inspiring.
“For some reason, he feels as though he must destroy you.”
This Kor and Kirk scene... Kirk literally canNOT stop himself from flirting. His default smile is Charming. “Nothing...inconsequential [was destroyed] I hope...” Flirty smile, wink.
GO CLIMB A TREE I MEAN WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT.
We are the same species...tigers...hunters
Is this not the same cell they always use?
I feel an “and there was only one cell” fic coming on...
The Organians are actually kind of hilarious. They’ll basically let these rando aliens do whatever they want, as long as they do no violence. That’s it, that’s the one rule.”Your captors planned to do violence to you, and to that I said...naw.”
THIS is real Pacifism @ Commander Spock.
Kirk ready to go out in a blaze of fire for a bunch of annoying hippies like “I’m going to white savior you now, ungrateful Organians.”(I say this with love; I love him.)
Can you believe Kirk and Spock are about to die in an unwinnable fight of 2 against Lots of Klingons, and they’re using their last moments to FLIRT AGAIN?
Gene Coon loves writing dialogue in which Spock calculates statistics and Kirk is turned on.
Also can you BELIEVE he just pulls Spock along by the arm? Any excuse to touch him.
Okay the Organians are officially tired of your bullshit.
Too hot! Hot damn!
“We find interference in others’ affairs most disgusting.” Prime Directive! Like I said!
This is basically the plot of A Taste of Armageddon except in that ep Kirk was the Organians.
“People have the right to handle their own affairs.” Is he wrong though??
The Organians are like “okay, we all had our fun here, now get out. Seriously.”
Can you imagine how fucking weird it would be to just randomly see this alien dude materialize in the White House, or, like, Starfleet San Francisco HQ, or wherever the “home world” of the Federation is supposed to be? Just a little throwaway line in there.
By the end Kor is just straight up hilarious. He’s giving off real Ian McKellan in Vicious vibes when he says “I can handle them.”
“I guess that takes care of the war.” Yep! Very efficient!
The “it” in “It would have been glorious” is DEFINITELY not the war lol.
Good game, good game.
“I was furious with the Organians for stopping a war I didn’t want.” I’m sorry but could not THAT have been the plot of STID?
“Spock, your math was wrong the whole time.” And now Spock and Kirk can BOTH sulk lol.
Those were all of my liveblog thoughts and it’s late but.... I had so many additional thoughts on this episode... Like a lot more.
First, I love when humanoids turn out to not be humanoids, that’s one of the best things.
Second, I think this is a very gutsy episode to air at the time, and that it would still be a gutsy episode to air now. I feel like it’s one of the peanut gallery’s favorite criticisms of ST nowadays to say it’s “colonialist” but this ep makes it pretty clear it’s not--that’s the opposite of the lesson of this story.
To attempt to explain better: I completely and unironically love Kirk but I do recognize that like all 3 dimensional characters he has flaws. In this ep, I thought that while his speeches and general point of view and strategic plan were definitely right for situations a population is oppressed--that people do have the power to fight back against dictatorships, even when the odds are bad, and that it is worth it to have the courage to fight back against such oppression--he was ultimately shown to be wrong in this instance because he wasn’t actually coming into that situation. He didn’t understand as much as he thought he did. He thought he was going to be the savior here: taking control for peoples who didn't know better, saving them from oppression, and then gifting them with technology and advancement as he understood it. The Federation wouldn't have enslaved them, but the Federation did want to use them. But the Organians really truly didn't need help--the native people understood their own needs better than the outside people. That's the lesson I took from the episode. Your intentions can be good but if you're coming into a foreign situation looking to control it, without understanding the actual people involved, you’re not being a true friend or ally, and you're likely to do no more harm than good. Opposition to tyranny has to come from the source, the oppressed peoples themselves.
When he refers to “weak, innocent people” standing in the way of superpowers in the beginning--he’s not attempting to derogatory, but that is a pretty demeaning characterization.
I also thought it interesting that the Organians can take any form they want and put their society at any stage of "advancement" they want and they chose a basic agrarian aesthetic. Cottagecore rights.
Kirk really had a confirmation bias when it came to the Organians. He had an image of them--innocent, weak, oppressed--and he only took information that fit with that characterization, rather than listening to them and what they were saying.
My mom and I also discussed whether this was IC or OOC of Kirk. I’m of two minds, myself. I think Kirk at his best is much more open-minded than this. His core morality is good faith, peace, friendliness, and care for all life forms, and there are plenty of examples of this (Charlie X, Mud’s Women, and The Corbomite Maneuver all immediately come to mind.) But he does have a blind spot that I think comes up often enough to be canonically part of his character: if something is threatening or killing his crew, or his people more broadly (the Federation), then ALL he cares about is neutralizing the threat. Rare alien? Possible scientific discovery? Might not have the full details of the situation? Doesn’t matter. I’m thinking The Man Trap, The Devil in the Dark, Arena. He wants to protect aliens, but not if the alien is killing his crew. He wants to make overtures of friendship, but not if the new being has already been aggressive.
I mean like I said... a part of me is like "no he is better than this!" but another part is like... well he does have that 'soldier' side of him, he is intensely loyal to his people. The “evil” Kirk of The Enemy Within. I think he just sometimes gets these blinders in certain situations when he's just sure he's right, which is very human.
Also although he's between McCoy and Spock on the continuum of "an objective right thing exists for all people and in all situations and we should always follow that morality" and "morality itself is relative, we should be respectful of alien ways of living even when we don’t understand them" I think in general Kirk and the show is more like McCoy. There IS a right morality here. (I’m thinking of The Apple or even A Taste of Armageddon.)
I also maintain that to say in 1967 "the very personality trait of being warlike is a common denominator between enemies at war" is a dramatic statement.
My mother suggested that Kirk was “strangely appealing” in his desire to save the Organians, with or without their help, and I do agree... I think that’s the complexity of the episode. The overall thrust of the plot is that Kirk was wrong--he’s left embarrassed at the end. I stand by what I said above. And they certainly go out of their way to show that the Klingons and Federation have something in common--namely, as I said, their very capacity to wage war, and interest in waging war.
BUT, as much as I get the point that they have certain similarities with the Federation--and I think this concept of 'these war-worthy disagreements seem trivial to an advanced and neutral species' is interesting, and even more so in comparison with A Taste of Armageddon which, as I said, is this same scenario from the Organians' POV essentially--at the same time it's a bit irritating to hear the democratic Federation compared to the oppressive dictatorship of the Klingons. Like yeah, okay, none of them are light beings and they both wanted to destroy each other--point taken. But would the Federation park itself on a random planet and kill 200 people the first day? I think not. So in this sense Kirk IS right. The Klingons are an adversary worth fighting, just not over the Organians.
I don’t know what I would think of his position if the Organians were being harmed but were also just...actually sheep. Like I guess I would say "well they have to have a reason.” And in fact they did--their bodies cannot be harmed, so they really don't care if the Klingons pretend to harm them. But I just can't comprehend people being like really honestly okay with that level of oppression, as opposed to too scared or too beaten down or too brainwashed to fight it, which is different.
...And from there we went into a discussion of curative v transformative fandom and yet more on what’s wrong with AOS sdfasfjsaldf it’s past 1 am I can’t be stopped BUT I SHOULD BE STOPPED.
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Frozen II (Spoilery) Review
So I went and saw Frozen in theatres last night, and... I like it, but I was somewhat disappointed. Not sure if that was because I spoiled most of the movie for myself already before going in, but then again, most of the stuff I was disappointed with was writing issues as opposed to feeling underwhelmed, so meh. Here goes:
The Good:
- I actually really like most of the sound track. AIF, STNC, ITU, & SY were instant faves and are on repeat. TNRT isn’t really a fun song to listen to, but the lyrics are pretty powerful. 
- The premise of F2. One of my complaints about F1 was the lack of lore and explanation for any of the magic. I’m glad that this film took an origin-story approach, and dove deeper into the world of magic in Arendelle. Much-needed.
- The outfits. Elsa’s new fit at the end of the movie was absolutely gorgeous, and I really like her with her hair down. Anna’s travelling outfit (with the cape) is my favourite, and I think I’m the only one who really likes her coronation dress (at least the colours anyway). But I think I do prefer some of her coronation dress concepts from The Art of Frozen: 
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- Matthias is a treasure. Enough said. 
- Olaf’s death scene. Wow. 
- Iduna’s lullaby being a theme for the movie was awesome. It’s somewhat haunting, but also inviting.
- The animation was stunning. The color scheme for the movie worked really nicely, and Show Yourself was easily one of the prettiest animation scenes I’ve scene in a while. Especially when Ahtohallan revealed the memories in a drop of snow; absoluting breathtaking. 
- For all the bitching that everyone did prior to the film, the separation wasn’t even that bad. Everyone seemed pretty chill about the whole thing, and no one looked like they were heart broken. Y’all definitely stressed yourselves out for nothing.
The Bad:
- F2 had this weird thing going on where there was no real plot, but also, a lot was happening in every scene. I think Jen and the rest of the team overextended themselves with the backstory of Arendelle, Northuldra, the spirits, Iduna, Agnarr, Elsa, Ahtohallan, character arcs, etc. so everything felt so convoluted. They could have definitely simplified some things so it was easier to follow, tied certain aspects together, or at least get rid of the B-plots so the main story could get more attention.  
- Because of how much they had to cram in, the pacing was far too quick. They were skipping important transitions and jumping from scene to scene, and they didn’t allow enough time for some of the events and dialogue to flesh themselves out and settle into the story. Slow-down scenes are very important for a movie to feel like comfortable and evenly-paced, and F2 not only didn’t have enough of those, but when they did, they rushed through it and moved on to a new idea too quickly. It was like they were desperate to keep spoon-feeding us information. 
- Speaking of spoon-feeding info, waaaaaay too much of the dialogue was expositional. Most of the interactions only served to explain what was happening either to the audience or to other characters, and they didn’t feel like the natural and relaxed dialogues that were present in F1. The writing team really disobeyed the “show, don’t tell” rule in this movie, and it was very apparent. 
- One of my biggest complaints about F1 was Elsa’s lack of personality outside of her magic (and Elsa feeling more like a plot device), and it looks like the writers didn’t bother to fix that in F2. While I understand that depression and anxiety can be that overwhelming, it doesn’t work for Elsa as a fictional character to not have any shining aspects of her character outside of the issues she has with her magic. Is she funny? Is she sarcastic? What does she like to talk about on a regular basis? Is she really passionate about art or music? Does she practice an instrument or draw in her spare time? What does she like to crack jokes about? Who are her friends and what do they do when they hang out? It seems like Elsa’s magic defines every aspect of her and I don’t like that. She needs to have stronger characterization. I feel like no one at Disney really knows how to write her as a complex, dynamic, and fluid person outside of her powers. 
- Everybody’s character arc sucked and/or didn’t exist. Almost no one grew fundamentally, and if they did, their arc was written so poorly and better resembled a scatter-plot. Elsa started and ended the movie acting the same way. There’s no significant difference in her personality or the way she interacts with anyone or her view on the world. Olaf....???? His “some things change” arc was just weird all around. Anna did grow as far as her constantly trying to watch over Elsa, but her queenship should have had an arc too. While I like Anna as queen, it felt random, and really lacked build-up and foreshadowing. It also didn’t help that the scene where she and Elsa talked about making her queen didn’t exist. Again, skipping important transitions. And Kristoff...oh sweet Kristoff...
- I don’t ship Kristanna, but I’m not anti-Kristanna or anti-Kristoff either. I don’t mind their relationship at all. But this proposal plot was not it. Not only was it incredibly poor timing, but why did the writers think that was the best they could do with Kristoff? You have a reindeer ice man going from living in a mountain to being a part of the royal family, and proposing was the best challenge you could think of? How about the ups and downs of adjusting to royal life? Where is my Kristoff feeling out of place in the family because he’s awkward at balls, uncomfortable in stuffy clothing, getting nervous about greeting royal dignitaries, wanting to give commands to soldiers but not sure if it’s his place, wanting to contribute more to Arendelle but not knowing what to do, feeling like he’s not a good fit? Where is his sense of growth as he realizes that he doesn’t have to change who he is at heart to fit in to the royal family, and that he does have a place in Arendelle and in Anna’s life? Where is his growth in getting comfortable with royal life? This was such an easy option, come on!
- Lost in the Woods is a good stand alone song, but it should have been written differently for the film. It really kills the mood of the film and doesn’t vibe with the setting, and while the animation is hilarious, it also makes Kristoff look kind of silly. I loathe the Lopezes for always opting for poppy/rock showtunes, and not writing melodies and instrumentals that actually work for Frozen’s time setting. I don’t think they understand how much some of their songs really draw people out of the film. When I’m Older is also a pointless song. You can tell that its only in there for shits and giggles so Olaf would have something to sing.They should have had him sing while he was dying or something.
- Not enough of the supporting characters. What’s the point of adding Matthias or a whole tribe with Yelana, Honeymaren, and Ryder if you’re not going to do anything with them fundamentally? 
- Not enough Agnarr and Iduna. I actually found Iduna’s arc to be far more interesting than any of the main characters, and yet, they didn’t give enough screen time for her backstory. Ughhhhhhh. 
- Too many callbacks to F1. Some of them were cute, but the rest were super corny, completely unnecessary, and just a nod to the fandom. If you’re going to do a callback, it’s best done in a way that’s actually relevant to the story.  
- I would mind the separation even less if Elsa’s reason for staying in the forest wasn’t soooooo unclear. Why did she need to stay? Who assigned her the role of protector? What is she protecting against? Who currently cares about threatening the spirits? 
- Arendelle should have gotten destroyed period. Not only is Elsa conveniently getting unfrozen, saved by the Nokk, and arriving at Arendelle all in time to stop the flood with an ice wall so incredibly predictable and cliche, but it would have also fit into the “some things do change” theme that they kept literally stating. Also, Kristoff likely being good with carpentry could have really shined here in helping Arendellians rebuild, and if he had the arc I explained before, then this would have been his moment of finding his place. Genius, isn’t it?
- With all the lore they added, they still didn’t explain the trolls OR Kristoff’s backstory. What is their place in this story? How come Grand Pabbie knew nothing of the spirits or the dam story, or the Northuldra? Where the heck is Kristoff from? How come Runeard never tried to destroy the trolls? 
- Iduna just said “Anna who?” huh? No acknowledgement for her other daughter whatsoever. 
- This movie felt more like an expansion than a necessary story. 
- Okay, I’m done. 
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Accidental Animated Film Week, or Watch Me Continue To Know Nothing About Media Analysis While I Liberally Abuse The Semicolon In An Attempt To Sound Smart
18/1/2021: Hotel Transylvania Lots of fun but this is a weird one, varies drastically in some strange ways. The comedy takes hit and miss to extremes, simultaneously being laugh out loud hilarious and possessing moments of ungodly cringe. The pacing is unbalanced with the first half feeling awkward, taking a while to really get into; the latter much too fast and not taking the necessary time, some scenes seeming to serve their function as minimally as possible. This metronome of quality exists primarily in these respects and is quite noticeable, but doesn’t ruin the experience and I think that’s testament to just how good the rest of it can be, though there are still caveats. The animation is fantastic, incredibly expressive and creates truly hilarious physical comedy, and I feel this is to be expected of a Genndy Tartakovsky film, I grew up with and deeply appreciate his animated features. The emotional core of the story really begins to hit in the latter half and is very effective though the Zing concept I take issue with the name because it just sounds too silly without being humorous; its just a weird little gripe, the word zing annoys me. That said I was genuinely invested in this love story which is a feat, I’m not a romantic person at all. The acting is generally very good, I enjoy the expanded cast and Adam Sandler is excellent but Andy Samberg’s Johnny has an accent that gets on my nerves and feels like he’s being a bit too heavy handed with it. Again, just a little gripe. The message is clear and heartfelt, strange as it seems to make the message for the parents of the features target audience it still works and resembles in parts the “dadification” that’s been occurring in media (especially video games) over the past decade. Ultimately, it’s a good time so long as you can deal with a few groan inducing moments and a little strangeness.
19/1/2021: Princess Mononoke Holy shit, why haven’t I watched this sooner. Transcendentally good! My new favourite film, an absolutely incredible achievement. For fear of wading into sub v dub controversy the English dub is good though I’m definitely going to watch it subbed at some point. Its Studio Ghibli, everyone knows that Miyazaki runs a fantastic operation, thus the art and animation is faultless. There are moments where every single frame is a true work of art. Induces nostalgia though I’ve never seen it before, the art style and tone of the soundtrack are endemic to the late 90s and remind me of the animation from my childhood. The message is also wonderfully nuanced, focusing less on Humanity’s responsibility for the natural world but rather a reconciliation between the ambition of humanity and the life of our world through respect and veneration of that which we’re dependent on to survive. I love the world so much; I think one of this film’s pinnacle achievements is conveying the impression of a deep living world with relatively little worldbuilding. Just watch it aight, everyone needs to watch it. Fucking Incredible.
20/1/2021: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (rewatch)
Very Fun. Powerful nostalgia, I think I saw this literally hundreds of times as a child, may have had the whole thing memorised, and have always been a huge fan of the SpongeBob series. Even despite that I think there’s a lot of quality here. Pretty much every aspect of the film is enjoyable and well done, even if I think the moments featuring real people are kind of awkward. The gags and humour mostly hold up but I don’t think they have aged so well as the original run of the series, but there’s not much as can live up to that standard. Has a little to say about being a goofball, but ultimately its all about the gags for me with this one.
21/1/2021: Nausicaa: Valley of The Wind
Magnificent. Meaningfully very similar to Princess Mononoke, not quite as good, but still very worthwhile. I really like the mid-century sci fi vibe going on here and think the worldbuilding is excellent, though some of the expository dialogue is a little clumsy. I imagine there’s a little bit of nuance lost in the dub but cannot be certain as I don’t understand Japanese. That said, the voice acting is generally good. The art is magnificent, as it is wont to be in Studio Ghibli films; or in this case the proto-studio-Ghibli-film. That every culture has its distinct style is one of my favourite things, amongst which rank the Ohmu, Nausicaas glider and most of all Teto. Look at his little tongue! Most of all I love the ecosystem that arises from the polluted earth, how the earth cleans itself, it is a spectacular thought. I have an interesting thought about the soundtrack, specifically during actions sequences. The musical quality is good, especially the main theme, but there are issues with the editing of the action sequences’ music which intrigue me. Because the edit is always jarring and I don’t think the style of music necessarily fits the film; but I think it is a technical limitation, that contemporary audio systems were not necessarily able to apply the soundtrack in a less jarring manner. Just an interesting thought I had and I may look into the history of sound software etc. to see if that’s right. I think it is a beautiful work and well worth watching, I enjoyed it greatly.
23/1/2021: Howl’s Moving Castle
Good. Far and away less impactful than Mononoke and Nausicaa but still very good. Standard Ghibli points: Its beautiful, well animated and full of character. I find all the lead characters quite charming and well performed; it is set in a very interesting world with lots of interesting quirks and cool magic. Further it is powerfully meaningful, with a clear statement on confidence and empowerment. There’s just something about this one where the vibe is slightly off and I could not fully explain why. It feels disjointed, as though all the parts of the world are not fully connected. I feel like if you were to list the plot points in order some would be labelled “??????? Make it happen” as some events and conclusions are reached without purpose or motivation. Only some though and I’m not trying to seriously say it doesn’t make sense that’s just how I feel in post. I enjoyed it but I feel like I don’t fully understand this one.
24/1/2021: Spirited Away
Beautiful. This one I think is the best showcase of Ghibli’s style: the art is beautiful; the water is viscous and the spirits are fantastically grotesque. There’s a vibrant world shown here with a lot of charming characters and expressive animation which I think creates the most visually stunning of the Ghibli films that I’ve seen so far, though I fear I’m a bit basic and unsophisticated as I still prefer what I recognise as more traditional fantasy and sci-fi worlds like Mononoke and Nausicaa. I feel the story is also a well nuanced coming of age tale as it balances between relying on your friends and standing up for yourself. I also really like Yubaba or more generally how antagonism is handled throughout this movie; and to an extent in the broader Ghibli canon. Rather than create comically evil villains who exist purely to do bad these features all showcase antagonists with genuine sensible motivations driving their action and the only thing defining them as antagonists is the framing and perspective. On that point you could argue that Yubaba is the closest to a genuine villain but I think the materialist-critical aspects are more of an aside than a genuine statement, as appreciable as they are.
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