#also i felt old tbh

[lockwie]

when you see too many people and just feel so damn lonely

#that convention was sensory hell so i might just be tired #but idk something about being surrounded by people I should somehow relate to except I don't #no one knew who i was supposed to be #also i felt old tbh #and like #idk #it's like i never quite fit in #maybe it's a universal human experience but like #in whatever group i feel i pretty much always stick out in some way #idk maybe i just need to sleep

[web-viewerxp]

me losing the game in 4 seconds

#MY STUFF #im really bad at this game 😭🙏 #also i took this pic months ago #felt like posting it here though #old web #windows 7 #old computers #frutiger aero #dont really know how to tag this tbh

[noxcheshire]

I’ve been kinda thinking this for a while because I know the dpxdc fandom likes thin as a bean and shouldn’t be capable of lifting Superman so easily, buff as a Viking, and as small but so much curves like his mom, Danny Fenton/Phantom.

And I love them all. For various reasons.

But I just thought about something really hard for a second.

Danny died at 14.

He died being small, and young. He became ecto-contaminated in a way so much more different from Vlad who had been blasted in the face by the smallest portion of ecto-portal that infected and corrupted into his skin.

This is in comparison to Danny who literally had a dimension rip open on top and inside of him.

To me, Vlad basically got the equivalent of a mini bomb exploding in his face and came out of it with severe third degree burns that translated into Ghost Acne.

And then we look at it again from their Ghost’s.

Danny’s ghost is that of a 14 year old boy who died in a cold portal in his parents basement.

Vlad who got blasted in college, was a twig and yet his ghost form is buff and aged just like his aged human body.

If he ‘died’ when he got hit by the mini-portal than his ghost would mimic the form he died in.

But he isn’t.

Instead we get Two different spectrums of a ghostly appearance for two halfa’s.

Ghosts who are meant to form as how they had been during the time of their death. Ghosts who will always be at their core the person they died as, the identity of those last seconds before death took them.

That’s the point of ghosts.

The only time it changes is if there are external third factors.

Such as Aragon’s Necklace. Or being able to use something of the living to ‘change shape’ as the Lunch Lady, or stretch yourself into a giant like Walker, and the greatest exception being Amorpho who HAS no identity to begin with. More than likely a thought that was made but never given anything further, and thus his jealousy with identity. Either that or he died never making a solid identity that could carry on into death, thus making him faceless because he didn’t even know who he truly was at that time of death.

Even Spectra is different! She’s more of a poltergeist-demon than an actual Ghost from the way she does things and even from how she looks in ghost form.

So with that, who is actually Human-Ghost and who just happens to be Ghost adjacent enough to get powers?

Danny is a real Halfa and Vlad is just mimicking one.

Now for the Dan, evil-phantom, of the fandom.

Dan is just BUFF.

He’s an adult. He GREW.

But it wasn’t due to Danny.

It was due to whatever he took from Vlad/Plasmius.

To me, Plasmius was just the ecto that resided in Vlad. All that anger and resentment that gave birth to itself from Vlad’s own anger at what he went through with the mini-portal. It was ecto that was residing in him, ecto from the Infinite Realms itself that was made INTO an idea and then given form.

Ecto that lived, Venom-style, in Vlad.

An idea that grew up with Vlad BECAUSE Vlad was growing up himself. He wasn’t thinking of himself as that scrawny college student anymore. He was becoming an adult so of course the ecto would mimic that idea of Vlad and make Plasmius older too.

Plasmius was a fairy tale that Vlad made up, and that’s why Dan was able to rip that part out of Vlad like it was it’s own true ghost. But it wasn’t, and so it collapsed without its person to control it. At least until Dan dove into the ecto and took the ideas that were there and intertwined himself with it.

Those YEARS of ideas isn’t so easily brushed away either, and even less so when Danny and Vlad had believed that Plasmius was Vlad’s ghost, a halfa just like Danny. So of course Dan would believe in the idea that he took/ate Vlad’s ghost. And that idea would spread because ecto is just another form of power and vitality. So of course that ecto should change Dan.

And then it did.

It changed his colors first and then eventually his physical form.

Thus we have Buff older Dan.

Now back to Danny.

With all that, this means that Phantom is never going to age.

Because Danny did die that day. He died, and only came back because the dimensional rip of ecto from the Infinite Realms tied his ghost neatly into his human body. The human body that just died.

He isn’t alive, his ghost that is tied to the body is simply puppeteering it. And as the Infinite Realms is literally all of time and space throughout every single multiverse in existence, it’s not too far of a shot to say that it could snatch that very moment, that heartbeat Danny craves restlessly, the heartbeat just before he truly died entirely.

Danny is a moment in time.

So his ghost will never age. And neither will his body.

Basically, Danny is forever an eternal 14 year old twig and he will be so very mad about it.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #danny phantom #danny fenton #thoughts on Danny and his death #vlad #vlad plasmius #twig Danny #buff Danny #curvy Danny #eternally 14 year old Danny #Dan #tbh don’t remember much of when I first watched Danny Phantom #but I’ve been rewatching it #and also reading ao3 #and then had a thought that wouldn’t leave #especially when I kept looking between Vlad and Danny #and trying to figure out how the HELL did Danny’s GHOST get buff and old #it’s a GHOST #HE DIED AT FOURTEEN it isn’t gonna suddenly shapeshifter to be an adult because he felt like it #even more so since it was heavily implied that Dan KILLED his human half #so I had to figure this out

[booasaur]

The Burial (2023)

#theburialedit #the burial 2023 #mame downes #jurnee smollett #this is one of the few things I've managed to watch since I returned #felt like a lot of old-fashioned movies where it's just a story of good people banding together to defeat some billionaire #very male-centric but also is very open about race in a way those older movies weren't always #but anyway jurnee was soooo hot #she's the only reason I watched #worth it tbh #just to see her like this #when will she play a wlw!

[skitskatdacat63]

Vettonso x Similar Helmets

SV Germany 2012 x FA Monaco 2013: Gold & Dark Red

I think a lot about Vettonso and their mutual relationship witn gold. They're both golden boys, they're both seen lit gold by the sunshine on many podiums throughout the years, both have worn golden boots, and as you can see here: both have worn golden helmets. The parallels in these particular helmets makes me feel insane. Both are: gold with dark red accents, both have their birthplace's coat of arms(Bergstraße and Asturias), both have team animal motifs, and both have symbols to represent their two championships(You by now know the signifigance of the ones on Fernando's helmet, but I think the ones on Seb's are actually a callback to his Formula BMW days when he used to put the smiley stickers on his car for every win.)

And did you know both of these helmets were designed by the same helmet design company? Yep, both of these are JMD helmets. I know JMD helmets are/were pretty popular, but still, there's something to me about Fernando commissioning the same designer that Seb has been using since he was a literal child. Parallels, am I right?

SV Japan 2010 x FA Japan 2023: White with Black & Red

Haha I remember @protocolseben and I discussing this a bit back in September when Fernando's helmet dropped. I honestly think Seb is such an innovator and trailblazer in terms of helmet design, and you can see his influence in helmet design as recently as this past season. I'm not sure if he was the first ever driver to don a matte white helmet with red accents as a representation of the Japanese flag, but it certainly envoked him in my mind when I saw Fernando's!!

I think Fernando's is pretty similar to all of Seb's 2010-2012 Japan helmets but I like this one the most so! I think if Seb wasn't restrained by the Red Bull logo, he def wouldv'e put the red circle where Nando put his so I think Fernando did a really good job, even if unintentionally, at emulating Seb's sense of design.

SV Singapore 2012 x FA Singapore 2012: Sparkly!

Like I said in the one above, it's crazy how much Seb influenced helmet design. He was pretty much the pioneer of sparkly helmets for Singapore, right? It drives me absolutely insane that there's actually pictures of them together in such similar designed helmets. It's kinda funny actually that even though they're pretty deep in the championship fight at this point, and Seb just got one up on Fernando; Fernando is wearing a helmet that is a direct influence from Seb!!! Is that not insane???

Also, Fernando trying to be camp with trying the now in vogue sparkly Singapore helmet, and Seb accidentally completely blew him out of the water with his outrageous light up LED constellation helmet. But god yeah....to have pics of them in matching helmets from this era particuarly makes me emotional ;;;

SV Hungary 2021 x FA 2022: Pink with Dark Blue

I really could've picked any of Seb's 2021 helmets, but I thought this one matched the best with Fernando's main 2021 helmet(with the color pallet.) Also one thing, it's crazy how much control BWT has as a sponsor, I don't think I've ever seen another sponsor go so hard at having a chokehold on individuality. I like that we got pink liveries and pink helmets, but I don't think they should have that much control.

I'm almost kinda sad there wasn't any Miami GP in 2021, because I think that was the only unique helmet Fernando had in 2022. But these match pretty well! Pretty in pink!! It's crazy that their parallels in the 2020s are ongoing even before Fernando actually takes over Seb's seat. Thanks BWT I guess?

SV Abu Dhabi 2022 x FA Abu Dhabi 2022: Fernando's Seb Tribute Helmet

AND HERE WE HAVE THE PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE!!! The ultimate conclusion, it literally couldn't get better than this!! This is still unbelievable, like how is this an actual thing that happened!? Fernando intentionally branding his helmet, the only symbol of individuality in F1, with his rival's flag colors, HIS FLAG!!!!! Not to mention the literal "Vettono Best Moments" collage he posted alongside it....and the hand-holding....and everything that happened with them at Abu Dhabi 2022....

But god, after years of incidentally making parallel helmet designs, Fernando decided to officially tie the knot of the red string of fate, and make a helmet directly referencing Seb's. I think it's funny because as I said with two of the previously mentioned ones, those Fernando designs are pretty much inspired by Seb's, and here he is openly making one directly inspired by Seb. I don't really have words for how this actually makes me feel because it's just. Yeah. The most open and clear declaration of love and respect and admiration one could ever make. TO ME.

#all of my posts subheading should be: 'its probably not that deep BUT-' #i can't believe ive made two deeply researched and beloved posts in a row one day after the other #posts sponsored by: 12 am red bull consumption. my all-consuming devotion and love for vettonso. and my unwillingness to do schoolwork #i mean i felt a lot of emotions and had fun making it but like. hey. could you put this effort into school? #anyways feeling deeply emotionally affected about helmets and their symbolism #i think in the entirety of f1 seb and fernando are two of the most dedicated and passionate about helmet designs and symbolism? #so this post is very special to me :] helmet fuckers unite <3 #again: they say they aren't friends and don't share any hobbies and im just staring at them like YOU IDIOTS!!! #its just that spongebob meme of him pointing out the trashcans. like guys. be fr rn. you totally share hobbies #both like helmet design. paddel and pingpong. sustainability. cars. racing. european football. THE LIST GOES ON AND ON #well im glad they swapped helmets at some point(i think nando gave seb two pretty old ones as well. now thats dedication!) #if they werent cowards i bet they couldve also had a 5+ hour long discussion about helmet design ;;;;;; #thinking also about how fernando has one of seb's in his museum >:) but if only it were one of the ones on this list. sigh. #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion #well lmk if theres any other vettonso helmets you think are similar!!! im pretty blind to seb helmets that arent rbr era tbh #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #vettonso #we do a little bit of f1

[kyurochurro]

my ponysona Googie shipping pony spirk!!! In equestria I like to think it’s called “Star Trot”

#churro art #doodles #star trek #spirk #spock #james t kirk #mlp #EHEHE BEING SILLY #i just felt like making a new ponysona tbh my last one is so old.. #and of course they’re themed after the 60s ….. #adding this to the huge pile of sonsas I have BJSBSJBSJ #ANYWAYS. does anyone know what these flat colored pony dolls are called? #they’re the ones used for the big brother best friend forever song and some fan animations #but i just couldn’t find out what they’re called!! #i had to google mlp Chi i and use a random png of someone else cos as a reference LOLOL #ANYWAYS. working on some issues crew Christmas party doodles.. #might also post my mlp winter drawing too!!

[kqluckity]

how some people can look at Zhongli and Venti's dialogue during this Lantern Rite and interpret it as beefing instead of, you know, flirting truly blows my mind? like it's not just what they're saying, but also the way they're saying it. it's flirting, they're flirting. and even if they aren't flirting, that's obviously an inside joke? look at Venti's face when Zhongli acts like they're strangers, does it look like someone who can't stand the other and isn't willing to play along with the other's dumb idea? please. I don't understand how people can still think they hate each other even tho it's established that they're friends, not only through items lore and their own character stories (I really doubt someone like Zhongli would let a guy he hates forge his sigil, let him destroy his precious vase, let him pour wine on his head, and then yearn for him for 500 years bffr), but also in the first Liyue Archon quest Zhongli talks about "a friend from Mondstadt" who used to bring him wine all the time, and Venti has a "refined gentleman friend from Liyue" he wishes he could spend more time with. a friend he still visits often, so much so that madame Ping commissioned Tubby to make a Mondstadt-inspired house for the teapot with good acoustics so he could play inside with no problem.

#oh i heard about the refined liyuean gentleman who ordered tea instead of wine and is very knowledgeable and cute #well I've heard of a bard that is truly elegant and eloquent and whose rhymes are unmatched anywhere #hope this makes sense also yes this makes no sense because it's 11pm and I can't write and and and #also sorry they are melting my brain fr I've been shipping them since 2021 but never felt like sharing here #but now I am so you better suck it up #those two are literally always talking about each other I don't blame Xiao for being a little bit homophobic during that dinner #he needed a breather because of the embarrassing old men and I respect that #xiao: right in front of my salad? what if I killed myself rn? #<- it's what he should've said anyway. it's what transpired from the way he looked at the Traveler tbh #okay I'll stop talking about them for a bit. probably. maybe. but only on here #I'll talk about them especially irl for a little bit longer probably I love them #OKAY I'M SHUTTING THE FUCK UP NOW #Zhongli #Venti #zhongven #genshin impact #gi tag

[transgendermilesprower]

i keep thinking about how they use sonic advance 3 in particular in the one flashback in sonic prime, it's because that's where 'unbreakable bond' originates from!

Sonic and Tails' unbreakable bond is so important to sonic (the character and the series)

#sonic prime spoilers #unbreakable bond #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #sonic prime #warning: i am about to ramble and the topic changes like 4 times and i am now too lazy to delete it all and make it into it's own post #i love sonic prime so so so much and i love how much it focus on sonic and tails' brotherhood #tails doesnt get much focus in the entire sonic series surprisingly #for being the literal 'luigi' of the series (little brother/player 2 to the main character) #and lots (not all) people often sideline or minimize the importance of their friendship #either for shipping reasons (invalid reason imo) or because they don't really care for tails (also invalid reason imo) #i love how much love to tails and amy prime gives. because despite how important to the series they are they get sidelined quite a bit #tbh the sidelining is worse for amy if you include fanworks too #amy is like the poster child of the main female character who gets hated on for 'getting in the way' of a fandom gay ship #and the effects of that are still felt now #people STILL act like that now and it makes me so sad!!! #i love amy so much. shes such a sweetheart. she just sometimes acts like the 12 year old girl she is and fandoms hate that #but yeah this is another reason why sonic tumblr is the best side of the fandom because i haven't seen people act like that- #- about amy here for a good 7 or so years

[rateelism]

so there was !!! a lot of avallum stuff today !!! oh my god !!!!

i only managed to watch like half of cass's omegaverse quiz taking before work lol. and after work i watched all of rosco's karaoke !!!!! AND THEN AFTER THAT I WATCHED LUCIEN'S KARAOKE VOD.

i rightfully feel a little wacky crazy silly mental SMASHES MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL

rosco singing in english, japanese, AND spanish all in one stream today was so fucking crazy liiiike THANK YOU ALMOST TRILINGUAL KING wwwwwwww he sang SO many bangers tonight it was fucking crazy listening to it all live, my god.... i sent him a supa :3

LUCIEN WHEN I GET YOU LUCIEN WHEN I GET YOU LUCIEN WHEN I GET YOU !!!!!!!!

he streamed this while i was at work so unfortunately! so live listening BUT LUCKILY it's archived !!! and I am sooooo glad for that oh my god,,,,,,,,oh my god. the ending. the crying. guys. it's so lunover.

also short thing on cassian: LMAO STOIC OMEGA TO DOMINANT ALPHA W JUST A FEW ANSWER CHANGES

#avallum #i feel compelled to fill this tag w yapping #did not watch zander n gale's vods! #not enough hours in a day :( #vtuber #rosco graves #lucien lunaris #oh my gooodddd fr tho i felt crazy listening to them all sing #fuck #when i heard lucien say 'a dear friend' just before overdose #I KNEW !!!!! I KNEEEEWWWWW !!! #CASSIAN FLOROS <3 #and rosco. man. his range #it's CRAZY he sings so well #the songs he sang also made me feel CRAZY old tbh #god. anyway enough yapping BYE !!!

[baalzebufo]

following up from my adbot redesigns, I also decided to redraw their boss, the Executive Producer!  real name Montgomery ‘Bolts’ Barker, he’s a friend of the VP’s and a former colleague who was promoted at his recommendation.

I didn’t do a proper reference of his full body so ive only got this doodle, but his lower half is the standard cog boss tank setup, only with screens around the ‘gear’ there. he can also swap the whole thing out for legs, if he wants. I think the bosses have Optional Pants

he’s got the personality of an overly-cheerful gameshow host and is all smiles and sparkle, but he’s honestly quite cruel under it. he’s used to getting his way and can’t stand having his spotlight stolen, and has the temper of a typical ego-driven celebrity.

he does chafe a little under cogs incs employ though- his more ‘imaginative’ ideas tend to get shut down by the financial department as frivolous spending, so he can’t truly be creative in this environment. part of him wants to make actual television rather than propaganda, but. well. the paycheck is good and he’s in a position of power, so he enables it all.

in general hes a huge jerk but hes MY huge jerk <3

#toonblr #toontown #toontag #cogs #toontown cogs #the adbot department #the executive producer #alloyart #hello tag readers heres some Secret Lore for you #because of his friendship with the VP i headcanon hes cathals godfather (vps son from corporate clash) #hes quite sweet on the boy tbh. he knew him since he was a freshly built cog #his name is based off bob barker one of the price is right hosts! #i was watching some old price is right episodes with a friend when i got the inspiration lol #and the 'monty' is from monty hall :) also because he just felt like a monty to me #no voicecanon comes to mind right now. but just think of old gameshow hosts and you're on the right track for the Vibes

[zhongscara]

hm.

#mine.txt #short was well animated but also felt like a whole lot of nothing #the previous harbinger being a caricature didnt help #like i could tell she was gonna be shitty immediately #and they just really hammed it up instead of implying more depth #i get its only 7 minutes but genshin has done a lot in shorter character teasers #idk... worried abt arles character w this #but at least im interested as to what her curse is #also if thats the same girl in the preview art... time shenanigans? #and was that freminet at the end? #tbh the timeline makes no sense unless arle is actually like 20 years old #or there was another head of the hearth between that woman and arle #bc freminet was in the HoH before arle took over

[shinozaki-ayumi]

the shift in popular characters in the corpse party fandom between 2014-2017 versus now still gives me whiplash

#morishige was like... a fringe fav back then lol #now he's basically the only character i see anymore #i feel like one of the last remnants of the Old Era over here in my ayushiki fort #i also just… don’t really like kiza/shige tbh… so i’ve felt sort of displaced lately lol

[hdmiports]

nostalgic

#moodcas #🔅 #idk if this translates as nostalgia to other ppl but this girl is 100000% based on one of my older cousins friends who used to come over #all the time lol #also #switched back to my old cas bg lol #i liked the triple mirror but it felt too busy tbh #ts4 cas #ts4 screenshots #show us your sims #cas challenge #Spotify

[la0hu]

man i just remembered the first time i learned in depth about transgender ppl was when in 7th grade we were asked to choose a "controversial topic" to practice writing a persuasive essay about, and i chose something i genuinely had zero opinion and prior knowledge about, which was about transgender athletes being tested for hormone levels and being allowed to compete in general. and i remember doing all this really intense research and it just seemed abundantly obvious to me that even the lines between the apparent two sexes weren't even readily provable, and on top of that, there was no evidence of a "biological advantage" being due to sex or gender, because cisgender athletes routinely had different hormone levels compared to the average person (duh). i remember the opinion pieces and news articles being vaguely biased and noting that, but the moment i actually dug into medical research and historical records and like, firsthand resources, i had to draw my own conclusion that being transgender or intersex was 1) difficult to define (and most of the time it seemed like the ppl demanding the testing didn't care about the big difference between the two), 2) intrusive to define, and 3) didn't even actually impact performance at all anyway.

and i was a straight A student and a bit of teacher's pet, and i hadn't gotten anything lower than a 90% on any major assignment my entire academic life at that point, and i got a B- on that paper. and i remember being absolutely dumbfounded and confused, bc i knew it was one of my better efforts. i had the chance to do a "revision" and submit for a higher grade, so i doubled down on my research and hammered in every single point, and i still barely got a B+ in the end, and i remember seething with anger because i knew i was RIGHT. like undoubtedly, this was a "controversial" topic but i had done all the due diligence and uncovered the incontrovertible truth at the bottom of it. literally one of the most significant moments in my life where i realized this was how the real world played the game of human rights through just sheer refusal

#p #anyway. maybe the third thing to radicalize me #or likely tenth or more tbh. i remember also these estrogen progress photo collages where a transwoman was showing her physical changes #and i thought it was interesting albeit a confusing new idea for 11 year old me #and was just appalled at the strangers' comments on the picture. how hateful ppl were and using all these slurs i'd never heard of #like that also felt super obvious to me that if i'm gonna be forced to choose a side here #i'm not gonna side with the guys insulting a complete stranger on the internet for like. transforming into a woman? #i remember it was on imgur! and i completely abandoned my account as like a personal gesture that i was rejecting that community #bc somewhere in my gut i felt like there was something rotten about how ppl there reacted to those photo collages #i used imgur like every day too... it felt like this major decision at the time lol

[there-will-be-a-way]

It's wild growing up as a socially awkward child with little friends and then becoming popular in literally every group setting as an adult

#personal posts #I literally do nothing #but I got told I have an ~~~aura~~~ of calmness that makes people feel comfortable apparantly #I just can't get over this #shy 12 years old me would be so proud #literally everything I ever wanted #a social life I'm happy with #(I think it's important to be a good listener tbh #because if you pay attention to it most people only listen to wait until it's their time to talk about themselves again #which is kinda frustrating) #also #considering how much of a mess I am it's strange how often I get told that I'm unshakably calm #like 'calm' is The word people use to describe me with #like my number one trait #anyway #I'm very much enjoying the popularity my adult years have blessed me with lol #good for the soul and the ego #especially the ego #like yes my life is a mess and I haven't met many milestones but at least I'm a decent person #can't even remember the last time I felt lonely and if you've been following me for a couple of years you may know that's a big deal

[edelorion]

#edel vents #disclaimer: really personal issues in the tags. also wishes of death upon others. this is PROBABLY too much information tbh... #so if you're not up for it scroll down fast!!!! the deluge is coming!!! #today was... eventful. bad. also very bad. grandma's birthday celebration was today #and while she... definitely has Old People Issues (racist) shes also very lonely since the death of my grandfather so i can't really not go #i'm the only one who really visits her regularly to begin with #aside from the... very serious racism issue... she's “alright”. i guess. but that's besides the point. there's family there #and among those... my parents. which i don't like to talk to #discovered they threw more of my old stuff away. typical. wanted to strangle them. as usual. #had to “talk” with my mother (read: spend approximately ten seconds reciting exactly why i *don't* talk to her anymore) #so that whole ordeal completely soured my mood. #went home tired. can't really do anything right now. #at least the food was good i guess. but i also really want to cry... which i can't. which sucks. #...i really like to think i've improved as a person. i used to be really hateful of everything and everyone #worst of all myself. still kinda do but i'm... getting better..? #i like to think i've grown past most of it but every time i see my parents i feel this gripping at my heart. as if i haven't really changed #as if instead i'm still the hateful person i “always was” deep down... bc there's this visceral joy that i feel whenever i'm mad at them. #when i looked at my mother and told her how much i despise her i felt a shiver of happiness. righteousness. #to be clear: i do NOT care for her. at all. she's the worst person on this earth #and the only person whom my philosophy of “nobody deserves to die” does NOT apply to. i'm not scared of hating her. #she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred #i don't want that. not anymore. it consumed me whole. i was a horrible person back then and i've caused so much grief for so many #i can't let go of this hatred. i can't forgive them. they don't deserve my forgiveness anyway. but i'm tired of hating. #i'm tired of letting that hatred define me. i'm tired of letting that hatred direct me. i'm tired of letting it bring me to ruin. #i'm tired of being who i was. i'm no longer “that”. i'm edel now and i'm happy for people now. if i don't like something i just walk out. #i can just leave. “if it sucks hit the bricks” right?.. but i didn't. i had to say it. i had to tell them. her. and i liked it. #and... i'm scared of that. because it tells me i haven't improved. #i'm not sure what i'm expecting out of posting this i guess. maybe help. maybe i wanna be told that this is normal or something. #maybe i just want to get my thoughts in order. i don't know. i'm gonna stop writing now. #sorry for making you read all this. thanks for doing it anyway. tags were cut off on this one btw so it may look like a mess. but. yeah.