#also doubles as nonbinary i guess!

[ouppi]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥  💜 🍳 🔮 ┃ ☁️ 🎶 ☁️ ┃ 🔮 🍳 💜 

#mine #demisexual moment #happy pride month #also eggs #black stim #purple stim #white stim #stimboard #pride stim #this is for @gruelingtonic <3 #also doubles as nonbinary i guess!

[surrender-souls]

just saw a letterboxd list of films directed by women, nonbinary people, and trans people. like. come on now i dont wanna jump to a suspicious conclusion here but. perhaps. think why you decided to include nonbinary and trans people in that title instead of just women, since these are two very large groups that overlap. like you’d have better luck making a list of films directed by everyone ever, all cis people and all trans people and everyone else, cause youre already mostly there. i have three questions here: 1. are you treating nonbinary people as ”woman lite” here?, 2. who is included in your basis of woman? do you include trans women? 3. would you also have a trans man director on this list, despite specifying woman in the title, while also including trans? it just sets off alarms for me, having such overlapping categories while also having a category overlap with something excluded, feels like a shove in.

#also for the love of god i may be a woman but im also a man stop treating all nonbinary people as basically women #it also makes me suspicious about what they think a woman and a man are? who are you including and excluding #besides there could be a whole list for simply trans filmmakers like. why also include cis women? #and what trans people do you keep on your list? is it only the afab ones? the ones you deem more woman? #its like a double edged sword of transphobia lets just drag women AND men #this sorta thing always makes me suspicious. things take on different meanings when you know how they feel about trans #number one thing i always bring up when gender comes up i guess in irl conversations with a friend #ALWAYS ask yourself: who does this person include when they say women? who does this person include when they say men? #cause really do they include trans people in those roles? or do they dismiss their gender to put them in the role they deem fit. #always changes the context #i speak

[antedeluvianbreedingtwink]

So, sometimes I'm hesitant to share things about my dysphoria, since I think a lot of people will glance past the Plurality and try to frame this as some kind of detransition. No hate towards people who do end up detransitioning for any reason, but that's a very different thing to my weird-ass deal, and I'm sure as fuck not reversing any surgeries when the most functional Alter and the earliest one we know of are both transfem still. Hell, we're even still planning to go forward with bottom surgery, and I'm not really even against the idea?

The issue I run into most is, well... boobs. We have D cups, with 420cc (seriously) implants, which makes it a hard to properly go dude mode now? I can bind, and I do it basically the moment I'm fronting, but it's really only flat when I double up on binders, and, uh... yeah, that's a quick way to remember which rib got dislocated once? I'm trying to be smarter about it- one binder and a denim vest to try and hide the extra oomph... but I have to unbind eventually, and it feels awful every time because our body is very, very feminine now.

I did have a peculiar dream last night, though. I was dating a guy (an OC from a story we were going to write) as myself in it, but the time to go to bed together came and I... still had breasts. Then, when I got uncomfortable, Dreamguy just kept referring to them as boytits, which led to me waking up briefly euphoric and confused.

I guess I was just feeling really dysphoric and someone acknowledging the boyness of my hongalongamogongas helped relieve it a bit? Maybe the idea that I could be in a relationship and still be acknowledged as a separate person was also weighing on me, since me and Kay (maybe even Alice?) have very conflicting sexualities and identities, and I worry things will either be too complicated, or I'll have to take a back seat.

I think my biggest worry, though, is... what fucking community do I belong to? Kay's obviously transfem, and even though I'm masc and AMAB, I'm not Cis? I'm still very much nonbinary, just heavy on the masculine side, but the people I connect with and get tips from are transmasc, and it just feels disrespectful for me to attach too much to that community?

I guess collectively we're genderfluid, but even that feels strange when we're different people, and I can't even recognize Kay's thought process most of the time?

I guess I'm just rambling because there isn't a short way to accept being plural and having to deal with conflicting gender identities on top of that. It makes everything way, way harder, but I do know things will work out in the end. I'm taking a crash course to make sure I know enough about Kay's major to hold down a job properly (without fronting and immediately crying because I have no idea how to do anything.)

Plus, y'know... there's always the option of being poly, or just dating someone with a gender ambiguous enough to appeal to a lesbian and a gay boy at the same time. Just as long as they know these are (at least when I'm fronting) he/him chesticles and they prefer to be called sir, damnit.

#enby #did osdd #osdd system #osdd #osddid #did #did system #genderfluid #gender stuff #transgender #nonbinary #genderqueer #lgbtqia #trans #demiboy #achillean #mlm #nblm #nblm thoughts #I even need a strap because of shrinkage already #maybe I should write “he/him” on my chest as a reminder

[autistichalsin]

(Plastering an obligatory I AM A LESBIAN here.) (also, in retrospect this feels like soapboxing and if you feel uncomfortable in any way with me ranting about petty drama related to the harassment that you went through feel free to delete this ask)

Calling you lesbiphobic for not liking Minthara made me do a huge double take??

YES lesbiphobia is a problem, and people assigning lesbiphobia to not liking a character on the grounds that a lot of their friends who like her are lesbians only takes away from the actual severity of the word.

You can’t just wave words around. Is Minthara, as a character, a symbolization or statement about lesbianism in a way that critique or dislike of her character would imply some kind of inextricable problem with it?

Or has the way she’s seen or adopted in the fandom lead to her being inseparable from such subtext? And I don’t mean being liked by many lesbians simply because we think she’s neat or a cool character-

Is she known to be liked because we feel she represents something significant about lesbianism? Does the fact that many lesbians like her mean or present something notable about the lesbian experience, to the point where it’s a dialogue that can’t in good faith be ignored in discussions about her?

No. She’s openly sapphic, but she’s one of the many bisexual women companions, and while her queerness is an important facet of her character, the writing doesn’t linger on it- That is to say, it’s not a central theme to her character and story. She’s not seen as some grand statement or character symbolizing something about lesbianism in the fandom, either. A lot of us simply.. like her. (And that’s completely fine!!)

On top of that, she’s explicitly (EXPLICITLY) a EVIL character to boot. She’s a horrible person- she was THE evil route companion. (And, again, her evilness has nothing to do with her being a sapphic woman.) And that’s great! I like her because she’s an apologetically horrible woman who’s allowed to be unapologetically horrible And a woman without being punished specifically for that.

But somebody disliking her- as a character- as a fictional, made of pixels, not real character- BECAUSE of the numerous horrible evil things she does- isn’t lesbiphobia. And even if it was, that wouldn’t be grounds the harass them for it.

Thank you anon- and don't worry. I'm going to start taking things as discourse so those who don't want to see anymore don't have to because I feel like I've put enough sadness on their pages, but I definitely wanted to respond to this.

(The irony here is that I ALSO am a [nonbinary] lesbian, but they've made really gross implications that because of my thirsty posts about Halsin, I'm just lying...)

Yeah, it really is wild that not liking HER of all characters got me called that. But I guess, like... thanks for being so transparent, I guess??? Like it literally was never about any issue they pretended it was, it was literally that I didn't like their Drow Dommy Mommy.

Your point is totally correct, but I do have the feeling that if you asked them, they WOULD say that Minthara represents something "inherently lesbian" (I guess the lesbian quality of... being a terrible person who supports slavery? It's lesbiphobic to not support slavery I guess) such that rejecting her is rejecting lesbianism itself. And it's worth noting that this group of people are INCREDIBLY biphobic- they hate when you say Minthara is bi, as well as Shadowheart, and they say shipping SH with men is "icky." Which tells you all you need to know really.

They deny she's evil. Straight up. They literally ask what she did that was evil, feigning ignorance, or say it was sweet and romantic etc. The way they accuse others of not being able to tell fantasy from reality is because they themselves can't do it.

#discourse

[sanityshorror]

Can we get some random facts about the more underrated hellcrew characters?👉👈💖(Like Octavian, Kelly, Sullivan, Cian and such)

Yes yes yes!!! (& Make sure to also ask @scarfaxia about Devlin 👀👀)

ALSO I'M SO SORRY THIS IS SHIT BUT I'M SICK AF RN💔💔

Octavian

him and Devlin are definitely double trouble (put that at x3 if Julius is also unfortunately there...) but at least they definitely mostly get along and are rather close so..? Unfortunate for the rest of humanity but good for them, I guess 😭

I feel like I need to say this every time we talk about Vivi but this mf sounds like Alex Jones with a Boston accent, I can't overstress the accuracy.

Octavian is in a relationship with Sullivan and they've been together an awfully long time now. Tendency to bicker but they don't actually argue, and are pretty cute together.

This isn't a secret but Vivi used to be a prostitute, including when he was underage. Oof.

He. He killed Emily. His mom. Rip Emily.

I don't want to give too much away cuz 👀 info coming soon!

Kelly

They/He

Nonbinary royalty. Ur honor they're hot. I'm sorry for doing that.

ADHD up the wahzoo.

Definitely was the one who first introduced Julius to Meth and taught him how to cook it.

... They do a lot of meth.

They really only talk in a sentence at a time unless there's a reason for him to talk more, but that's very rare. Not to say Kelly is a quiet person because they Are Not Quiet™ they just don't talk much.

Sullivan

1/4 Chinese and 3/4 Irish, his mother is half Chinese.

They/them or they/he. Nonbinary and masc-fem fluid.

Very bisexual.

6'2 they're rather tall.

Most sarcastic fuck you'll meet.

Julius's apprentice & also owns their own salon next to the dress shop in the pocket dimension

They scalp people alive in their salon and bring the hair to Julius for his 'work'

We all know Julius.

Cian

IT'S GIVING BROKE, IT'S GIVING MIDDLE SCHOOL DROP OUT, IT'S GIVING FATHERLESS BEHAVIOR!

... He did drop out of school at 13. 😭

idk he used to be Killian's mini me but now Cian is the same height and age locked at 31 so...

There's A LOT to say about Cian idek where to start. Just good Lord. He's an entire mess and a half.

HE'S IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH DEVLIN AND THEYRE VERY CUTE TOGETHER 😭 (Devlin © @scarfaxia )

#hellcrew #Octavian Doherty #kelly duffy #Sullivan Sweeney #Cian Lynch

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

If I recall correctly you are on the 'trans/nonbinary identities are mental illness' wagon, and I wanted to know your perspective on why claims like that cause extremely negative reaction. I remember I used to react very negatively myself a year ago or so until I analysed that actually there is nothing wrong with mental illnesses to BEGIN with, so claims like that should not be hurtful? A thing I can think of is that term 'mental illness' automatically suggests need to 'heal' it, but that's also not true. For example autism and ADHD are also mental illnesses, but they are not supposed to be "healed", nor CAN be healed, it is just a different way of brain to work. Saying that about genders is also not supposed to automatically invite misgendering; again, mentally ill people often need accommodations and some of their requests and boundaries respected, and if someone refuses - THEY are kind of mean (if not straight up ableist), so many people would try to adapt just to be kind and accepting. So, respecting pronouns and name can also count as accommodating in this case, and if you don't do that then YOU are the bad guy here. Same as ignoring boundaries a mentally ill person vocalised makes YOU kinda mean. (of course utopia of everyone respecting everyone will never happen, but we always aspire to be kind and condemn the cynical individualists that refuse simply because)

I am just not sure why as soon as it is suggested for gender, all respect and validation for mental illnesses goes out the window. From what I've seen personally, the "opposition" is rarely ableist beyond using a single slur you know which one (and when they TRY to be, they get destroyed by their cis+het political associates that are autists or people on schizo spectrum. source: check 4Chan demographic). My only guess is crimes that have to do with trying to "fix" it and religious fanatics treating it as being possessed by a demon or something (happens to gays and lesbians too), but it seems like 1) this sort of people will be awful to others regardless of whether they think it is mental illness or not and 2) there is always a percentage that WILL go after more vulnerable ones - if not queer people then other demographics, and it is inherent flaw of humanity that cannot be a problem of only a concrete group. It is not 'society vs trans' issue, it is 'a percentage of society destined to be destructive and people who are weaker or different are the first targets' issue.

Again, not here to debate, and not asking you why you think these identities are mental illness, just questioning a logical error (if not a double standard) that I've been noticing regarding this claim and wonder what's your stance on why suggesting this is considered atrocious after all the (correct) claims that mentally ill people DO deserve love and respect. Like, why this claim is always seen as derogatory and never as value-neutral?

The thing is, I don't actually have any hard and fast rule or belief or explanation for the explosion of people identifying as transgender the past decade or two: it seems obvious a large proportion of the people - particularly teenage girls - are under the influence of social contagion, and another subsection of older males are autogynephiliacs who have found a way to come out of the closet and have their kink applauded instead of mocked by society for the first time.

But then there still remains the much smaller group of people within all that who really do have some sort of genuine gender dysphoria, and we still don't have any conclusive explanation for why that is: is it the brain misfiring and receiving conflicting information because of being exposed to too many of the opposite sex's hormones in the womb? Does it correlate to the introduction of the birth control pill? Would it be better treated the way we treat body dysmorphia, like anorexia or xenomelia, and try to help people find ways to come to terms with the body they see in the mirror, rather than encouraging them to hack bits off it?

I really don't know. Whatever is going on, it's clearly something that needs to be treated seriously, as a genuine medical issue, not a fetish or sexuality, which is why it is so odd it so quickly got bundled in with the LGB movement, where it clearly doesn't fit. I would say one of the reasons even discussing the phenomenon has become such a minefield is that it got wrongly included under that umbrella, which made questioning it as an 'identity' some kind of assault on sexual preference. Which is pretty twisted in itself, when you think about it; like treating bulimia as nothing more than an optional sexual fantasy.

The "ism" part of transgenderism is also a big problem, in that the arguments we are hearing "for" it every day emerged out of idiotic and short-sighted feminist theories back in the 1970s: the teaching that "gender is a social construct". This is not true - the basic gendered division of labor is universal across all societies and all periods of history - but it infiltrated academia, and from there got adopted by the far left as another one of the "identities" they could claim were being oppressed by western civilization, which they sought to destroy.

This is, of course, entirely the wrong way to approach a medical condition people are actively suffering with, but by politicizing transgenderism, it made questioning the narrative surrounding it a political act, and anyone doing so fair game for political attacks, which has had a hugely chilling effect on any open debate over how best to treat the people affected. Again: the worst possible way to treat vulnerable, real-life flesh and blood people seeking help.

Whether gender dysphoria is mental or biological or both in origin, I think that the people suffering from it deserve compassion and help and attempts at understanding. It must be an unimaginable nightmare to wake up each morning and see someone in the mirror you feel is not you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, and neither would anyone genuinely living with it.

[mundanememorize]

my long gender post lol

idk how long it’ll actually be but like. god i’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of “knowing since you were a kid” recently and for the longest time i thought i didn’t really know but recently i’ve remembered and realized to an extent i did know but in the vein of “who cares” and i guess i just always assumed everyone else felt the same. like i just thought everyone was like who cares, but ill just wear this thing because everyone else does.

and i used to be really nervous and somewhat afraid of bringing up my autism and other things in relation to my gender because so many people use it to discount and discredit your experience, especially when it’s brought up as a cause of you being trans. i’ve always been afraid of someone coming up to me and saying “you’re not trans you’re just autistic and confused” which would be a double punch for me.

but i’ve started realizing thinking that way as a kid, before i knew any words to describe myself other than “weird”, was me knowing i just thought everyone also felt like that. and i have that issue often. that i just assume everyone sees the same thing as me, and then thinking we all process that information the same because i just think that’s how brains work.

what makes me sad is you can’t even be “odd” anymore. if people just saw me as some really weird off the deep end “girl” still i wouldn’t really care. i really try not to care what others perceive me as in terms of gender because to me it’s “not their business”. but even just having really weird or unique clothes at this point can get you clocked or treated weird. and i mean this to point out how awful it is that if you just dress kind of “weird” there is a larger chance of you being hurt or turned away or ostracized.

now when you dress “odd” you immediately have an agenda. you have some sick disease or people roll your eyes when you’re around. and i’ve never understood this hateful lens of obsession people have with clothes. i love clothes i definitely have a clothes obsession but they have always been some form of a costume to me. because that’s what they are. you dress up how you’d like to look like in them. so if i have the ability to dress how i desire why wouldn’t i? and if i was a “girl” you would still look at me funny. if i was a “guy” you definitely would. and because i lie inbetween ill never be taken seriously and ill always have this large neon sign above my head that flashes “NONBINARY” which people hate. people get so mad.

over the years i’ve tried to become “tougher” through saying i’m more “reasonable” than other nonbinary people. i just wear t shirt and jeans and im just like you! im more masculine and im nonbinary but i will only use he him! but oh my god it’s wearing down on my soul. it’s grating. and i’m so upset that i made myself do this. for myself for others and im mad that it’s something i felt like i had to perpetuate to be “taken seriously”. being a person is the most unserious thing in the world.

i’m so tired of “gender roles” and i have been since i was 12 and saw others sharing this sentiment and im tired because its confusing. it doesn’t make sense even historically. when boys wore pink because its closer to red. but suddenly now it’s some omen that an “agenda got you”. i have never understood any of this so i’ve never participated but by doing that i was punished. and when i participated i was hurt worse. there’s no point in playing this made up game so why should i have to care im sorry i really don’t. i dont at all.

i’m not trying to make a big point or anything. i mean this as when i was a kid i had absolutely no concept of gender. and when i tried to it hurt me awfully bad. my parents themselves were not that strict with gender roles besides telling me what the world would expect but i could always do “boy” and “girl” things. i mean this as when i was a child i genuinely thought i was a boy because i would sex myself by counting my ribs to make sure i had 13 (…) and i “always did” (i was like 7 lol). i had no concept because lionesses do all the work and big blue peacocks are male. this shit is all stupid and it never made sense to me since i was a kid. and i don’t think it will ever be “because” of anything. people will always try to put a cause but i felt like this when my life was perfect and happy when i was 6 years old and i had no hardships. it felt like this when it got harder it felt like this when it got worse it feels like this now. there’s no point to this.

this is very very long but i have been nonstop thinking about it. i have always felt stuck in my gender identity because of the rules put on this stuff and im sooooo so so tired about it. i feel like ive come out 5000 times because i dont know what im supposed to be. i’ve tried hard to find labels and do them right over and over but god. and it’s not that i don’t identify or feel connected to being queer, i very much do, but to me (and especially at this point) i don’t feel connected to being the “alternative” because it doesn’t make any sense. but being queer and especially trans you get painted as the undesirable alternative. you become “what happens sometimes” and then they’ll try to explain it. give it reason. their parents weren’t the best. they have a gene or a mental disorder or illness. they’re autistic and confused. they have identity issues. they’ll grow out of it. but i’m soooo tired of having to have an explanation. oh my god. because no one else does and when you point it out they get mad and turn it on you.

i don’t really have a nice way to wrap this up. and this is not the 5001 coming out post. i’ve known i’m gender fluid for the past 2ish years. i know what i am. i’m queer. as in odd as in gay as in “alternative” as in shapeless as in confusing. i know who exactly i am by being an ever changing thing but that’s seen as being unstable and lost in yourself instead of curious or intrigued by others explorations. i am just sick of having to explain myself to cis people and having to be seen as a “good example” in every facet of my life, related and unrelated to this.

#i am very nervous to visit my family this weekend can you tell #it’s fine sorry this it’s so long i jsuy have nonstop been thinking about this stuff bc ive been getting more comfortable with how i feel #but now i’m just like kind of pissed off. lol

[surpriserose]

So like i get that adaptations are hard especially from a video game thats got a history and fanbase like fallouts i get it i do that said i hated pretty much everything about episode one and im just putting some stray thoughts (including perhaps things i like) under the cut in a list and im not even trying to come at this from a lore guy perspective but ummmm....for some of these things i have to but its okay because im a lesbian and not a redditor

-> nonbinary character 😁👍 in the brotherhood of steel???? 😰 THE BROTHERHOOD OF STEEL???? THE FASCISTS???? and also 90% chance theyre not fucking relevant passed episode one so like why....why not have nonbinary ghoul cowboy gender neutral dilf?

-> hey why does the brotherhood brand people now hey why did we do that to the major black character hey i really didnt like that guys hey what the fuck

-> so our protagonists are ghoul cowboy dilf whos a ghoul and a dilf if not for me than for someone because hes walter goggins, brotherhood squire having an awful time in the brotherhood but its okay because they were just testing him, and vault lady who is...getting married and has to find her dad hey didnt we do this one without the arranged marriage bit?

-> also vaults arent linked to each other that doesnt make any sense why arent they just all vault 33? Also theyre all control vaults with no experiments thats lame as fuck

-> didnt mind the arranged marriage between vaults logically it makes some sense i guess? But why does our EXCUSE ME THE ENCLAVE? WE'RE DOING THE ENCLAVE AGAIN? if you cant tell im still watching as im writing anyways...why is this our introduction to our female protagonist? And we have to see her in a wedding dress and fuck and get strangled twice and treated as a bargaining chip and also shes fucking annoying as fuck im sorry i hate her im sorry women

-> also sorry everyone in the vault has a geiger counter on their arms that only goes off when its convenient i guess not when you know you have a huge group of surface dwellers in one place clumped together....like when they first got in the vault and were obvious raiders???????

-> if you saw a fallout 1 ghoul you would piss yourselves

-> whats the final licensed song count i swear its in the double digits it pissed me off

-> dungeon meshi was good this week btw watched that too

[scoutpologist]

i think one thing about living in a gendered world is that identifying as genderless is one of the most lonely and isolating things you can be.

i've had periods of time where i thought i was a man and periods of time where i thought i was a woman. admittedly, the brief blips of thinking i was a man were a lot shorter than the decade and some change i thought i was a woman. each time it felt murderous and constraining, but some part of me loved the community, and that's what kept drawing me back.

this isn't to say being a man or being a woman is easy. being any binary gender experience other than a cis man opens you up to heaps of oppression i wish people didn't have to experience. even being a cis man sucks. i don't want to discount that. binary people probably have it worse than i do. but my pain is real too and i have never seen anyone talk about it.

i struggle to extract myself from gender. it's one of the most emotionally difficult things in the world, because if i leave behind all the things i thought i was, all the things everyone else is, i'm left staring at a pure void. out self concepts are built on the conception of others, or at least mine is; i'm this because i'm like this person. when i take that away, take away the foundation of gender, i often don't feel like i have anything left. so i turn back to gender, despite the dysphoria and horror and wrongness i feel.

femininity and masculinity taught me different things, and they are both constraining to me. i prefer to dress in a more "masculine" fashion, if only because i have bad dysphoria when i dress in anything overtly "girly", but when it comes to everything else, i ache for both. i ache to embody feminine joy and care and companionship just as much as i ache to embody masculine intensity and practicality and laughter.

i know these things should not be gendered. to me, as a matter of principle, gendering basic human traits is just nonsensical. but the fact is, unfortunately, that they are gendered, and feel like i will never be able to fully embody the masculine traits i have without abandoning my feminine ones and vice versa. i know i can, but it feels like i can't. and sometimes i can fool myself into thinking that one of them is enough, but it never is. i want to be free.

i'm not bigender, to be clear. i am not a man and i am not a woman. i don't have a gender. it hurts me to say that. i wish i had pride in it, but it hurts me.

i feel like i'm in a double bind. i almost always reflexively think of myself as a girl. i ache to be a girl. i miss being a girl. it gave me a sense of purpose, a sense of camaraderie, a sense of having a place in the world. there's no place in the world for nonbinary people. there's no place in the world for people like me who's souls ache to not be constrained but who's hearts are so caught up in how things are "supposed" to be. but i'm not a girl. i know i'm not a girl. it hurts.

everywhere i turn i find other people outside the binary who are not like me. i don't think a single other person has the same gender experience that i have. no one experiences genderless nonbinaryness like i do. this is liberating. this is also crushing, and that's the thing that's killing me about it.

i get excited at the idea i might not be nonbinary, that i might have a gender, but at the end of the day, i always come back around to this. this is who i am. i'm deluding myself to think otherwise, and i'm sad about it.

i guess i have a lot of internalized enbyphobia, or exorsexism, or whatever you call it. i'm a very black and white person. my mind is stuck in binary even though my soul doesn't even know there's a dichotomy at all. i feel like every day i'm killing some part of me who just wants to be free.

i don't know if anyone else feels like this. if you do, you aren't alone, obviously. i just wanted to get this out. i guess. feel free to reblog and do whatever you want with it. i hope we can all find peace in our genders (or lack thereof) one day.

#op #long post #nonbinary #agender #<-- so i can find it on my blog #that was a lot longer than i though it would be

[elder-dragon-93]

Headcanon Review: Trans Vergil

Hello everybody. Welcome to the Hoard.

Today marks a new segment to my blog, Headcanon Review, which is sort of like Headcanon Theatre, but instead of me going over my own headcanons I’m giving my thoughts on popular headcanons in my various fandoms. And we’re starting off with a bang.

So, Vergil being transmasc. What do I think of it? Beautiful! Five Stars! Peak! But. I don’t think very many people think about the full implications of Vergil being transmasc. Ahem.

Implication #1: Dante is also transmasc. (Or else fem or afab nonbinary, but for the sake of the poor hamster running the brain hamster wheel I will only refer to Transmasc Dante for the rest of the post. You my put your own thoughts on Fem and NB Dante in the tags.) Well, I guess you could change it so they’re fraternal rather than identical, but where’s the fun in that? We can have more than one Transmasc boy in the Sparda Clan! (Sneakily slides in Transmasc Nero for peak Family Bonding.)

Implication #2 (tied into Implication #1): Depending on how old they were when they had their Trans realization, These two dorks named themselves as a literary reference! Come on, that is twin wholesomeness and comedy gold right there.

Implication #3 (again tied into #1): These two idiots most likely did their own top surgeries. Double most likely with their own swords. Bonus points for Vergil judging Dante for it only to have Dante immediately turn it back around on him and tease him relentlessly for the hypocrisy.

Implication #4 (and likely the biggest one here from a fic writing standpoint): Vergil would have been the one pregnant with Nero (a popular headcanon on it’s own and thus will also be getting my thoughts on it here). Guys, from what I’ve observed of Vergil’s reaction to finding out Nero is his son, I don’t think most of what went down in the series would have gone down the same way if Vergil knew about Nero from the start, and he definitely would if he was the one carrying Nero. Temen-ni-gru might have happened, but I don’t think Vergil would have fallen into hell, at least not without telling Dante where Nero was. And Vergil sure as hell wouldn’t have willingly left Nero in Fortuna. So yeah, more Momgil staying in the human world to raise Nero with Uncle Dante please.

#devil may cry #dmc vergil #dmc dante #dmc nero #trans #headcanon #headcanon review

[system-processing-12]

Quick introduction post I guess.

Hello from the Nebula system! Please use they/them. We have both trans mascs and femmes in the system and our host is nonbinary so it's a good average.

Like it says in the bio we don't tolerate bigotry. We don't participate in syscourse much but endos are fucking exhausting. We tend to think that many are just those who are actually traumatized or most attributing other symptoms or perhaps just needed a friend.

With the exception of endos, we generally we think that judging the way systems work is rude. Even if a traumagenic system uses neopronouns, is "cringy," has nonhuman entities, has a lot of alters or very few, they are all welcome here.

We stay anonymous for safety and also because a lot of the time it's hard to tell who's fronting.

We don't have any alternate blogs yet and we mostly use mobile so we're putting off making our blog ✨aesthetic✨. We'll try to tag triggers but there will be regular mentions of transphobia and general hate to the lgbtq community, as well as nfsw jokes and talk of mental health. When a certain alter is fronting things will go in tagged cuz they kind of forget how tumblr works/don't have the energy. Sorry about that!

Also, there will be an occasional use of reclaimed slurs (t and f usually). Oh and sometimes we double reblog if we like something extra or think it's important so sorry for spam.

Asks are open if you have questions!

#pinned post #introduction #actually traumagenic #actually did #did #mention of homophobia and mental health shit #anti endo #trans #nonbinary

[galactiquest]

heya, do u think youll be posting the results of the trigun self ship survey anytime soon? i was genuinely curious what the results were like so id love to see what u got 0v0

I'm glad to see someone remembered--i sort of forgot my "one month" cutoff, so then I was like "well, maybe everyone forgot about it"--guess not!

But, you know what? Since you asked, I'll post the results here.

I got a total of 39 responses (which is a lot smaller than I'd hoped, but that's OK).

First off, Demographics!

Most people taking the survey are 21-26, with 17-20 coming in second, 27-33 coming in third, and a small part of people in the 13-16 range.

Gender identity was both surprising and unsurprising. I had to use the genderfluid/genderqueer/nonbinary option as a "catchall" because there would have been too many identities to list off overall. But that and "cisgender female" were both tied at 38.5%.

Sexuality had a big variety of responses! Most people voted bisexual, but a lot of people also filled in their own answers (to varying degrees of ace/aro spectrum).

In terms of terms, most people liked self-insert and self-shipper.

Media consumption wasn't surprising, with most people watching both the original Trigun and the newest Trigun Stampede.

Most people self insert or self ship with Vash the Stampede and Nicholas D. Wolfwood, with the third place dropping severely with Millions Knives. It drops even more severely to Milly Thompson and Livio the Double-Fang, tied at 15 votes. I respect whoever filled in a response just to say "if Vash breathes the wrong way I will rearrange his guts."

And the most important character ends up pretty similarly, I'd say--Vash is the king crown at 46.2%. He's pretty important to us.

Since there's a lot of dynamics questions, I'll put them below the cut.

Most people find themselves liking all parts of a character.

Most people noted their relationship being in the 2-6 month range. Though four responders said theirs was longer than 8 years! That's dedication!

This question was honestly hard for me to parse, but this is just about how people craft the relationship in an imagine/fantasy/art/writing/etc.

Most people felt towards a more long-term relationship style. (I should have included an "it's complicated" answer, because I feel like it would have made sense for some.)

Now, for the true/false portion! Less people responded to this.

...And that's it! The images might get compressed, so click them for better quality.

Overall, I think I got the answers I was expecting--there's a lot of skew towards a cisgender female reader insert, which can be kind of sad or almost feel unfair to those who don't fall into that category. I think if more people were encouraged to write about a different scope, or if we really hammered home that gender neutral doesn't just mean lady-lite, maybe there could be some more content for all of us.

#love mail #Anonymous #trigun self ship survey #text

[queen-rainy-love]

HellHound's Secret Part 0

I promised this and I'm ready to deliver! A big thanks to @cherryartemis0 for helping with some of the reactions!

So, ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary friends, welcome to the mini-arc HellHound's Secret.

*Our story begins after the break of dawn in the Cookie Kingdom. Red Velvet hobbled through the Vanilla District while holding a duffle bag and a box of milk bottles. As he walked up the steps to his family's house, he could hear the Cake Hounds start to bark and scratch the door. Before he could pull out his keys, the door opened up to Lilybell and Clover smiling.*

Lilybell: Good morning big brother! How was night patrol?

Red Velvet:...Great...Just great. After doing an all-night patrol, you have the nerve to ask me to get you, not a bottle of milk, but a whole box of milk bottles. *Angrily lifts the box* This took thirty minutes to get! Why couldn't you do it yourself?!

Clover: *takes the box* Because I needed to double-check if I have enough ingredients for the whole week. After all, this is the last week before Cream Puff and Capsaicin head back to school and I want to make sure they are fed well before they head off. *heads inside with Lilybell following him.*

Red Velvet: *follows them* Right...and you could have made something that didn't need milk?

Clover: Then deal with the lines later today? No thanks. *disappears into the kitchen with Lilybell.*

*Red Velvet huffs before flopping down onto the couch and closing his eyes. Two minutes later, Cream Puff, Capsaicin, Pastry, and Pond Dino came downstairs. They all noticed Red Velvet on the couch.*

Capsaicin: Hey dad! When did you get back?

Red Velvet: Just now.

Cream Puff: How was the night patrol?

Red Velvet: Long.

Pastry: Are you going to rest or pull an Espresso today?

Red Velvet: Yes.

Capsaicin: You need to rest Dad. Didn't you say you have another mission to do later today?

Red Velvet: Do I?

Capsaicin: Yeah. That's why you couldn't come with us to the End of Summer Concert today. You know, the concert that has Shining Glitter, Rockstar, Parfait, and B.A.D. 4 performing in them.

Red Velvet: *eyes fly open* Right...that's why. Is it really today?

Cream Puff: Yeah! You told us four weeks ago after Madeleine and Espresso's wedding that you had a big mission that day.

Capsaicin: Which is a shame since you really like Rockstar and I'm pretty sure you would really like B.A.D. 4. You even look like HellHound.

Clover: *from the kitchen* Yeah! Such a shame! You really need to listen to them!

Red Velvet: (Absolute traitor!) *sits up* Right...Guess it slipped my mind.

Capsaicin: You'll still be back for the rest of the week...right?

Red Velvet: Of course. I'll be back after you come back from the concert.

Cream Puff: And you'll spend time with us this week?

Red Velvet: *slightly chuckles* Yeah. I will.

Pastry: Wonderful, now. *hands Pond Dino to Capsaicin* Now get ready for breakfast. We have a long day ahead of us. *The two nodded before heading to the kitchen. Pastry looks over at Red Velvet and crosses her arms.*

Red Velvet: *nervously looks away* What?

Pastry: You need to tell him the truth.

Red Velvet: How I don't like one of his closest friends who's also my older brother's adopted sister?

Pastry: You know what I'm talking about.

Red Velvet: ...I mean...

Pastry: You can't hide it from him forever.

Red Velvet: I can try...*sees Pastry staring at him* But I promise that I will tell him eventually.

Pastry: This winter break?

Red Velvet: ...*smirks* the earliest.

*Pastry smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead before heading to the next room. After she left, Red Velvet's smirk fell and was replaced with worry.*

Red Velvet: (How am I going to get through this?)

#cookie run kingdom #crk headcanons #red velvet cookie #clover cookie #cream puff cookie #lilybell cookie #pastry cookie #capsaicin cookie

[old-school-butch]

just wanted to say that following a butch older than 40 on here is SOOOO amazing like it blows my mind as a baby butch, it makes me feel like there actually is a future for me embracing being female AND being masculine. bc usually it's one or the other in today's "queer" circles. ppl have acted threatened of me being comfortable as a woman honestly?? like i can tell they just don't understand. a friend of mine even told me they (transmasc) just can't see me as a woman. i was like what do you mean? and they said idk i just can't, you just don't have the vibes. you feel so genderless. later i told them it hurt my feelings bc coming to terms with my womanhood meant a lot to me since i'm detrans, and they apologized and blamed it on their ex-girlfriend having had a looooot of internalized misogyny, and them needing to unlearn it. and now my brain is like... wondering if maybe that affected them identifying as nonbinary. idk. i still try to use they/them if ppl prefer it bc i try to be kind and i myself don't use my birthname and would be weirded out if ppl tried to use it for me. and from my history of dysphoria i know how painful (yet irrational) it can be. i'm just so aware that some ppl out there are identifying as nonbinary not bc they enjoy the identity but bc they're repressed and/or traumatized and have a lot of internalized bs. it makes me so, so sad. i want to help but if i say anything i'm a bigot, and i'm extremely scared of being seen as bigoted, it's a big source of anxiety for me. i'm living a double life right now, most of my friends irl are nonbinary but i have a radfem blog and i'm becoming very critical of gender. it feels like you just can't have a neutral conversation with someone about this. i tried with my nonbinary ex and they visibly started freaking out, and... not to be shitty but it really reminded me of how they acted when i saw them during cptsd episodes. it was like they were full of anxious energy, i couldn't say anything even slightly gender critical. there was a moment where i tried to pry a bit into their internalized sexism and they got this really harsh tone they had neverrrr taken with me in the 5 years we were together. they also regretted going on hrt and they had a moment of regretting top surgery too, but they pretended it never happened afterwards. anyways. it's just wild these days, and i worry about ppl who identify as nonbinary for the wrong reasons, for reasons that actually harm them. i hope there will be more resources for them over the years :/

Pretty interesting that your ex can keep a grip on control over you by ‘acting out.’ That’s not an irrational action, it’s effective. Which sadly describes the grip gender orthodoxy has on our community.

I completely hear you, I never told people I was trans and, if anyone asked had critiques of gender just kind of bubbling inside, but the reality was that other people told me I ‘must be’ trans. One said I was ‘a gay man trapped in the body of a lesbian’, so… I guess when I did something feminine I did it in a masculine way? Or, ya know, how I act is labeled in different ways because of reasons that have nothing to do with me and my existence as a woman.

Don’t beat yourself up about this - all the language and concepts were shoved down our throats. If women are people who identify as women, and if we accept that as true, what are the implications for our own existence and identities? The people creating this language didn’t care about us, and our silence trapped our doubts inside us.

Women won’t be free until we learn to care for ourselves as much as we care for others.

[woodsfae]

I genuinely feel like Housemate is doing strange, fucked-up things to Partner and I on purpose, but the extent to which I second-guess myself and go back-and-forth on it also sorta makes me feel like they are? It's just. So much.

From the beginning, sigh.

I met Partner in 2016, met Partner's best friend (hereafter "Tas," fake name, obvs) shortly thereafter. Tas is nonbinary, and I have always felt like they and their friend group put me in the "straight girl" mental box. They have always been standoffish and cold to me. I am also nonbinary, but I'm not superduper open about it? Like if we're friends, we've talked about my relationship to gender. And whenever I'm in a meet-n-greet circle that people are sharing their pronouns, I do say "they/she/he are all ok for me," (including Tas, because we've been in community organizing initiatives several times together) but hardly anyone ever uses anything other than "she" for me. I'm short and extremely busty and frequently wear dresses so I often think people -especially queer ppl, sadly- consider me to be a trendchasing "theyfab," and Tas's coldness to me has always indicated that to me, too.

Tas repeatedly hit on my sister and for literally two years straight the only time they initiated conversation with me was to ask if my sister got their texts. My sister told me she always responded to their texts and usually TAS was the one who didn't text HER back. My sister also never flirted back, because she doesn't like how Tas treats me.

Partner and I were openly polyamorous until the pandemic when we closed for health purposes. We were both dating other people when we met. Partner had a very brief relationship shortly after we started dating that went really badly. That person suddenly indicated they felt unsafe in their living situation and Partner drove more than 24 hours to pick them up and give them a safe landing spot. That person immediately freaked out whenever Partner even texted me. And did a lot of really weird passive-aggressive stuff to me whenever we saw each other. And was really controlling to Partner. Partner had just barely gotten them out of his apartment when Tas FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. And was like "I dated them so you should have known to check with me," and Partner was like...."you did? Oh...I dimly recollect like...years ago? Briefly?" and Tas was like "yeah, it was a few months and went badly and now you've broken my trust and will have to rebuild it. :| :|"

I thought this was bs but whatever, their friendship. They rebuilt it or whatever. but after that I cared a fuckload less about what Tas thought about me. But it was still stressful and upsetting that they were SO cold to me.

In 2020 I moved in with Partner and we locked down together. Until his apartment building was sold and the new owners DOUBLED HIS RENT with thirty days' notice. And then we were SOL because our city's cost of living was literally the highest in the country, adjusted for population, and vacancy was 0.2%. At the same time, Tas' house was sold and they were in basically the same boat. However. Tas and Partner both made enough and had just enough savings and parental help that they realized they could probably afford to buy a house together. And I was invited to live in the house, too, only I pay a little less because I'm not building equity as I'm not an owner. It was all very optimistic. Tas wanted to have a close, warm housemate relationship. We all planned game nights, shared dinners, shared grocery staples etc etc. We had multiple meetings about it and I was very optimistic about it all. Tas was more friendly and open to me during those few months than ever before or since.

We moved in and Tas immediately was standoffish and cold again, but not only to me, but also to Partner, their supposed best friend of over a decade. This hurt Partner tremendously. They would go to another room whenever either of us entered it, then text us random house things from the other room. They went back on all the dinners/game nights/etc we had agreed on. Partner and I extended invitations for MONTHS. It wore on Partner considerably, and me too. But Partner was losing his best friend with NO explanation.

Tas started texting Partner requests for "house meetings," except I wasn't invited. And then Tas would postpone the meetings with only a few hours' notice, or sometimes wouldn't show up, and then would postpone belatedly. And when the meetings did happen it would be like "I feel like the vibe is off in the house and it hurts me."

like wtf.

Partner would be like "Tas had a bad childhood and their parents basically waged psychological warfare on them and it's hard for them," and I'd be like….. "BABE YOU AND ME HAD THAT HAPPEN TOO." And Partner would be like "they had [medical thing] that caused a traumatic brain injury and their memory is really bad because of it…" and I'd be like "me and my five concussions and literal Post-Concussion Syndrome would like a word." He's just trying to find his peace, because it has been seriously hard on him. He's cried on me so many times about Tas since we moved in together. And there's really no justification for being a relentless asshole, imho.

Tas and I had a shared goal of transforming our lawn into a garden/natural plants pollinator space. Tas and I spent hours and hours working on this. Their back is objectively more fucked up than mine so I did more of the super-hard labor, but we both worked really hard on it. We talked about sharing the garden beds and what the division would look like….and then I came home and Tas had planted all the garden beds with the things they wanted and left me no room for anything.

Last year I decided to take a little corner of the yard that was only weeds and plant some sweetgrass. I checked with Tas multiple times they didn't want that corner for anything. I mentioned it multiple times. then I planted my sweetgrass with a little berm I built. And I mean it's LITTLE. If I made a circle with my arms, it would fit in that circle with my fingers touching.

A few weeks ago I went out and Tas had been clearing out the dead leaves/stems from the yard and garden and piled all the compost waste right on top of my sweetgrass patch. my tiny little patch that is only about 2 feet by 2 feet at most.

That hurt my feelings more than I thought possible. I was so so hurt. My only little patch of garden. I cleared it off, pulled some of the weeds I had left in to help enrich the soil, so it would look more tidy and visually distinct, and went and told Tas their compost pile had ended up on my sweetgrass so I had moved the compost over a little. Then I painted a bunch of rocks and ringed my sweetgrass space with the colorful rocks so it would be even more visually distinct and obvious.

I feel so defeated and sad. I don't know why Tas is being like this. I hate living here, and Partner and I both wish we had moved into a van or something instead.

We are nice to Tas. We still offer up game nights and dinners. We watch their special needs dog ALL THE TIME. Tas pays their friends to watch the dog when we can't, but never offers us a cent. Tas refuses to speak to us about almost anything. They insisted on a mask-inside and checking with housemates about guests rule in lockdown, then broke it immediately and never checked with us about any guests. The mutual friends we do have mostly started being even weirder and colder to me after we moved in together, and I genuinely think they're trashtalking me to our mutual acquaintaince group. I go out of my way to be friendly and ask about their plans and things, but they actively hide their plans from both of us. They will just suddenly be gone for 2-3 days, or have dinner parties, or out of town people over.

A few years ago they had a dinner party on Partner's birthday, with many of Partner's friends invited, and didn't tell Partner they were having people over or anything. It wasn't for Partner's bday, it was just a totally unrelated dinner party ON his bday, in his house, with his friends, that he wasn't invited to. It was so cruel I honestly have trouble believing my own memory that it happened.

They went on a long vacation and brought me a "present" for watching their dog. The worst and least-functional butter dish with no lid that I've ever seen and doesn't even sit flat. Oh, and it matches the utensil-rest they got themself??

They are always civil to my face, but I always always feel like they dislike me. It's exhausting. I wish we could move, but housing prices are still incredibly high, loan rates are terrible, and Partner feels trapped into this house ownership. We both wish we had done literally anything else in 2020 than moving in with Tas.

right this minute Partner is being yanked around by Tas with another house meeting. can't wait to find out what bad vibes are our fault, now.

#and there's so much more ugh #i don't know what to do i just want it to stop #woodsfae #rant #housemates

[glassandmetalwings]

The nonbinary bag is here!

This post was actually almost a double-feature, bc guess what? I'm nearly done with the bisexual bag, too! So look forward to that tomorrow or Thursday.

The varigation is very busy on this one, especially compared to the last one (the trans bag, which barely had any white), which I think distracts from the beads quite a bit, but it still looks pretty nice. What do you all think?

Also! Bonus bag!

I ordered some transparent iridescent purple beads from Michael's online, and while they won't be here until Friday, I could help thinking how perfect they would look on the cream color of a specific line of yarn I've been eyeballing for months. They were sold out off the cream when I went to the store, but I have clear iridescent beads, and I figured they would go well with pastels, so I picked up this mint and a pink. Do you like it?

#wings arts #undescribed