#also REALLY love that you can Tell when it;s steven because of the Dear Boy. one of my favorite longtime vocal quirks of his | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mirkwoodshewolf · 3 years

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You’ll always be my brother mine; Queen x reader

*Author's note*

Okay get the tissues out my fellow readers because this one WILL make you cry. For this is the LAST chapter with John Deacon in the Rock Angel's life. After this, Deacy will only be lovingly mentioned but will not have another physical appearance. I also want ALL of you to listen to the music choices down below as well as watch the music video above (cause it will REALLY pull your heartstrings and set the mood for this chapter). Up next we're gonna make quite a huge time leap cause next chapter were gonna get into some current events that has happened with Queen/Rock Angel. So be prepared for the next chapter(s).

MUSIC VIDEO HERE

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@simonedk

@ixchel-9275

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queensdivas

@queen-paladin

@queendeakyy

@wormzteef

@bohemiansweede

@labessieisallama

@naturalswifty89

@starswin

@isabella-bby

@5sos-wdw

@geek-and-proud

@onebigfangirlworld

@ssa-sadboi

_________________________________________________________

*Nov. 28th, 1997. Deacy's POV*

I had only agreed to come here to do this one last thing. My last music video that I would ever do with Queen, I had already completed my last live performance with Brian and Roger along with Elton back in Paris but without Freddie it just wasn't the same. Now we were making the music video for a song that Brian had written years ago just shortly after Freddie died.

I was sitting by myself along Roger's bar area (we had assembled at his place to do a mock rehearsal of the song before recording tomorrow) with my bass guitar resting on my lap when Roger came in and said.

"You doing okay?"

"Define okay." I told him.

"You're right. Dumb question. But—in all seriousness John, it really means a lot to us that you agreed to do this video."

"All I keep hearing is Freddie telling me 'darling if you don't get in front of that camera, I'll kick your arse from here to Glasgow'." The two of us chuckled softly.

"Well the team's already to go for tomorrow guys, we'll start filming at 9am sharp. We feel good about this?" Brian came up to us and asked.

"Actually, we can't do this video just yet." I told them.

"Why not?" asked Brian. "It's not much like any of our previous videos have been. We're in the perfect location and we're willing to perform this live instead of going through playback."

"It's not about missing something Brian, it's—someone."

"Look Deacy. We all miss him, but he'd still want—"

"I'm not talking about Freddie, Brian." I snapped before taking a deep breath and calming myself down.

"John I don't even know if she'd be interested in wanting to return to work. After the trail she's been—" Roger said softly before exhaling deeply. "But I can give Jack a call and see."

"No need. I booked a flight to Montreux, if I can convince her, we should be back tonight. Late." The two of them looked at each other and Brian said.

"Alright Deacy, we'll let you go get her. But don't get your hopes too high if she says no."

"Believe me, I know what she's going through. I almost didn't want to do this either. It feels wrong even continuing without Freddie, but—with this being the very last time I'll ever perform for Queen. I need at least one more performance with the Rock Angel. You guys need to give me this."

"We are. Bring our angel home." Roger said as he clasped his hand on my shoulder. I nodded before packing my bass up and headed off for the airport.

After a 2 hour flight, I arrived in Montreux airport and got a cab to take me to the Kline vacation home. It was another hour, hour and a half drive but finally the driver pulled up along the driveway. It was completely silence in the front yard, almost like a graveyard.

I got out of the car and walked up the gravel road, up onto the sidewalk and finally up the few stairs before finally standing before the door. Taking a deep breath I knocked on the door and waited for a couple of minutes. Soon enough a young girl opened the door, she had long (h/c) and familiar (e/c) that she inherited from her mother.

"Uncle Deacy?"

"Hello Kelly." I greeted with a warm smile. She smiled at me and hugged me.

God she had gotten so big since I last saw her. She was really starting to look more and more like her mother each and every day.

"My dear Kelly, look at you." she looked up at me and said.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was wondering if I could speak to your mum?"

"Yeah, of course. She's down in the basement with the boys." Kelly allowed me to enter inside and the first thing I see as I walk through the door was old Sammy, the Kline family's golden retriever. Already he was showing signs of aging around his nose and eyes. But when he saw me, he raised his head up and I saw his tail wag.

"Hello Sammy. Long time ehh boy?" he stood up and walked towards me and nuzzled against my hand. I stroked down his head when Kelly said.

"That's the first time I've seen him move so much since Bucky died." I turned to her in shock. "Brain tumor. We had to put him down last month and it was hard for all of us, Sammy especially." I looked down at Sammy and he looked up at me with those sad brown eyes of his as he let out a sad, soft whimper.

I scratched through his head as I walked over toward the basement stairs. I opened the door and walked down the U-shaped half-pace staircase. All the while I could hear some orchestra music playing and the sound of some creature bellowing before finally hearing someone say.

"How fast are they?"

"Well we clocked the T-Rex at 32 mph." As I came down to the bottom of the stairs, there at a desk surrounded by books and wearing prescription glasses was my sister dear while on the leather couch playing on the big TV was a movie that I wasn't quite too familiar with.

"T-T-Rex? You said you got a T-Rex?" Georgie quoted alone with the woman on screen while the old man nodded.

"Say again?" Jackson quoted along with the actor on screen.

"We have a T-Rex." The old man repeated. The actor on screen then started acting faint while the woman tried to get him steady and that's when the old man said.

"Dr. Grant, my dear Dr. Sattler."

"Welcome—to Jurassic Park." The twins quoted along with the old man on screen. Then soon enough dinosaurs were shown on the screen and I'll admit it was quite a sight to behold.

Never have I seen practical effects like that when it came to dinosaur films. Whatever film this is, I'll have to check it out for myself.

When I turned towards (y/n) I noticed that she turned her head away from her books and paper just to watch the television. I shook my head at her. Some things never change. I even saw her mouth out the next quote that was spoken on screen.

"Some things never change with you sister dear." She turned around to face me, as did the boys and they raced towards me exclaiming.

"Uncle John! Uncle John!" soon I was tackled down to the ground by these big boys. I smiled down at them as the two of them talked over each other trying to speak to me.

"Well, well, well. Look what the cat threw up. And I see you finally cut that raggedy mullet of yours." My sister teased.

"Haha, very funny." I mocked up at her.

"What brings you around here?" she asked me.

"A brother figure can't see his surrogate sister anymore?" I asked as I stood back up with the twins still clinging onto my sides.

"Not that I'm complaining but, you haven't really came around since......" she looked away before grabbing the remote and turning the movie off.

"Awww mum! We wanted to keep watching the film!" the twins whined.

"Georgie, Jackson you both have seen the film over a million times. Besides you two got chores to do that you both forgot to do yesterday."

"But, but, but....."

"Now boys. You mind your mother and don't argue back with her." I lectured them giving them my father eye.

"Yes Uncle John." They both said glumly before they walked up the stairs.

"I swear they both got their father's handsome looks but their uncle Jensen's laziness." (y/n) complained which made me softly chuckle.

"They're little boys. And believe me it'll get worse, cause they're what seven now?" she nodded. "So yeah get ready. Ten is probably the age they'll really push your buttons."

"Well thanks for the heads up."

*My POV*

Now don't get me wrong, I love Deacy and I'm always happy to see him (on the rare occasions that he does come around) but this visit has something else written all over it.

"What film was that exactly?" he asked me.

"A Steven Spielberg masterpiece, Jurassic Park. Since it gets scary at around the middle part I don't allow the boys to watch this film alone without either me or Jack in the room."

"And what's with all the books? I haven't seen you this swamped since your first days as Miami's intern."

"Well—believe it or not. I'm finishing college."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. You see since I left college once I became the Rock Angel, and with me taking a step back from the spotlight for a while. I enrolled at a University here about to graduate with an English degree."

"I'm proud of you (y/n). Really I am. And—I know he would be too if he heard that." See there it was. The reason behind his sadness. Sometimes Deacy couldn't even say his name without feeling such agonizing heartache. His eyes that were once filled with light had diminished and rarely sparked up anymore.

"What about you? How are you and the other two aging Queens getting along?" I asked as I took off my reading glasses.

"We're getting by. Day by day. We're—actually about to do a video for a song Brian's made." Okay, I think I know where this is going.

"Deacy—I appreciate the offer but I just.....don't think I'm ready to get back into the limelight just yet. Plus I got school to finish up. And then there are the kids and Jack. The press made my life hell throughout the trial and I refuse to go through that again. So you can tell Roger that I'm not interested."

"Actually it wasn't Roger's idea for me to come down here and have you work with us again. Nor was it Brian's." I looked at him in shock.

"You mean you want me to be a part of this video you're doing?"

"Yes. They told me you might not want to but please, sister dear, for old time's sake. You wouldn't want to break an old man's heart now would you?" he proceeded with the puppy dog eyes and with that greying hair on his head it just made him look like a sad old puppy dog.

"Why must you always get your way?"

"Because I'm your brother and you fall for it every time." I sighed heavily and said.

"Let me get a hold of Jack at the hospital and see what he says." I stood up as Deacy came behind me and said in an alarmed tone.

"Wait? What happened to Jack? Is he alright? He didn't do anything stupid did he?"

"Deacy, Deacy relax. Jack's fine he's with our son."

"Wait you're....." it was then he finally noticed my body shape. The post-pregnant belly and weight gain.

"Was. Yeah. Just 2 weeks ago we had our new baby boy."

"Oh (y/n). Congratulations. But—then why is he......"

"The thing is, he wasn't supposed to come till next January. I gave birth to him prematurely by 2 months." I said sadly as I finally arrived at the phone and touched it.

"I'm so sorry poppet. Had I known I would've never—"

"No need for apologizes or sympathy Deacy. Like I told you once a long time ago about my parents. I didn't tell you so you have no reason to feel sorry for me. Besides our boy's strong. He's shown great improvement. Doctor says we could possibly bring him home come this weekend."

"That's good. But knowing Roger and Brian, they'll be wanting pictures of him shortly."

"And what about you? Don't you want to see a picture of your new nephew?"

"Of course I do." There was a bit of hesitation to the way he responded but I set it aside for now as he asked me, "What's the lad's name?" After he said that, it was my turn to hesitate cause I didn't want Deacy to grow sad again.

"You promise me you won't get too heartbroken when I tell you?"

"So long as you didn't name him Adam, Paul or Steve I think we'll be good." I turned to face my brother and I said.

"It was no difficult decision, Jack and I agreed that this name just suited him perfectly and we—we knew he would've loved it too. Our last and newborn baby's name is Freddie Mercury Kline." I immediately picked up the phone and rang the hospital for Jack.

After awhile of Jack and I talking back and forth between one another, he agreed that he could handle the kids for a couple of days, man down the house, and even look over my final paper that I have to turn in in a couple of weeks for a class.

"Thanks babe. How's our boy doing?"

'Ahh (y/n) you should see him, he's glowing like the sun right now. Maybe when we do get to take him home, we can even get the rest of the Queen family to see him.'

"We don't want to overwhelm him so much." I lectured.

'I know. But I think it's time we told the rest of Queen didn't we? Especially after who we named him after.'

"Well half the job is done. Only Brian and Roger need to know."

'Yeah. Hey can you give me regards to Deacy?'

"Sure thing love. We'll stay here till you get home."

'Baby you know Kelly's old enough to keep the boys under control till I come back.'

"I don't know Jack, I mean yeah she's a pre-teen but I don't....."

'Trust me (y/n). She's clever just like her mom. She knows right from wrong. The kids will be fine. But if it makes you feel any better, I'll head home right now so that way she won't have to be responsible for too long.' I rolled my eyes and said.

"Thank you Jack. I'll be back on Monday, I promise."

'Take as much time as you need. Besides, you need to catch up with the guys.'

"You're right love. I love you Jack, give my baby a kiss for me before you leave."

'Will do mama lion. Give the guys my love for me when you see them.'

"I will." We then said bye to each other before I hung up the phone. "Alright, Jack's on his way from the hospital, he said Kelly can watch the twins until he comes back."

"She's responsible that girl of yours. Reminds me of you when we first met. You made sure everything got organized and planned out accordingly. Hell you managed to keep the four of us in line." I smiled and gathered up my school stuff to take into the study room.

After turning the TV, off and putting my books away I called the kids into the master bedroom while I packed a weekend night bag.

"Okay now listen you three, mum's going away for the weekend with your uncle Deacy to see your other uncle as well as your godfather to do some work. Your father is on his way home from seeing your brother, and until he gets back you're in charge Kelly."

"What!?" the twins proclaimed.

"You heard her." Kelly sassed down at her younger brothers.

"Now you all know the rules, stay inside, no trashing the house, no answering the phone for any reason at all unless the caller ID says its your father or another family member. And absolutely; No one. Sets. Foot. In my study or studio or else." I firmly stated to them, especially the last part.

"We promise mum." They all choired out.

"Good. Now stay safe, and listen to your sister boys. I'll be back on Monday. Now come on kisses and cuddles." I knelt down and got a hug from my three big kids.

I even told them to give their uncle Deacy cuddles and kisses, which he happily accepted, before the two of us headed out back for the taxi car to take us back to the airport.

After a few hours in the air, Deacy and I arrived into London by about 7pm and this time I paid a cabbie to take us over to Roger's place. God all this traveling is really making me jet lagged right now. I only hope I have enough energy to record tomorrow.

The next day we were all in the recording studio to film the music video of Brian's song. I was sitting at the piano with Brian who was giving me the rundown on how to play the tune when it came for my appearance in the video.

"So—how have things been for you lately?" asked Brian. I looked up at him, "I mean it's just—you went underground after the trail and we—got worried."

"I'm sorry I worried you guys. I just......needed some time to myself and my family, that's all."

"No, no we understand. God what—what happened that day was extremely traumatic for you and—"

"Brian. Can.....can we not discuss anything regarding him. Please?"

"Sure, sure, absolutely." God sometimes I hate it when Brian wakes eggshells around me.

"I'm finishing up school."

"Really?" I nodded.

"I'm studying Creative writing. By next spring I'll graduate from college and finally get my diploma."

"That's wonderful news (y/n). I'm so proud of you." he wrapped an arm around me and gave me a one armed hug and kissed the top of my head.

"Also—there's.....a new Kline in the household." He looked down at me surprised.

"You mean—"

"Had him two weeks ago. Prematurely though." His brows knitted in that familiar sympathetic way.

"Oh (y/n), I'm so sorry. Are they....."

"He is doing just fine. Even for being born 2 months early, he's already got the Kline lion strength."

"I'm sure he does. What's the lads name?" I took out my wallet from my inner coat pocket and took out a picture of him from his incubator.

"Jack and I both agreed on the name together. Bri, meet your newest nephew. Freddie Mercury Kline." His eyes looked right at mine, with awe but also a hint of sadness. But a wide smile spread across his face as he softly laughed out.

"God what he would've said knowing that he got one of us to finally name our next kid after him."

"Probably something like 'about fucking time darling. I was beginning to think I'd been neglected.'" We both chuckled softly.

"That is something he would say. Oh and I bet he would've doted on this little chap, just as he had with all of your other kids." I nodded solemnly.

"God I wish he were still here." He placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and lay his head down on top of mine, his curls gingerly stroking my forehead and nose.

"We all do poppet. We all do." I sniffled softly but pushed back the tears.

"Alright, enough of this chatter. Now for this part of the song it goes like this right?" I said shrugging him off before playing the chords he had taught me at the butt-crack of dawn before we even came to the studio.

Finally we were ready to film the video. First Brian, Rog and Deacy got into position with Bri at the piano, Deacy on a stool with a bass guitar, and Roger in the back with his drumkit.

I couldn't help but be touched at the reminder of cups full of beer and a champagne glass sitting right along the piano's edge. It was—a nice little touch that Freddie would've appreciated.

This music video......I'll admit that this is probably my favorite out of all the Queen music videos. Because now people will get to see what it was like on a daily basis with us. Almost like they are a familiar face stepping into the recording studio.

The director called for quiet on the set and I stayed back for awhile until it would be my time to go up there and soon the director called out action! The camera's rolled and I watched as a camera crane came down from the ceiling at a slow pace.

I then saw at men on the mobile camera slowly moved closer across the studio to really give that first person POV as Brian sang the first verse and played the piano. Already hearing him sing this song made my heart .

*Brian*

A hand above the water An angel reaching for the sky Is it raining in heaven Do you want us to cry?

And everywhere the broken-hearted On every lonely avenue No one could reach them No one but you

One by one Only the good die young They're only flyin' too close to the sun And life goes on Without you

Next up was Roger. The cameras slowly came towards him as he played the simple drumbeat and he took over the vocals of the second verse. By that time, Brian had switched over to his Red Special and stood a few feet away from Deacy while I took over at the piano.

But to surprise the fans; I had a hoodie to cover my entire face as I now took over playing the piano.

*Roger*

Another tricky situation I get to drownin' in the blues And I find myself thinkin' Well, what would you do?

Yes, it was such an operation Forever paying every due Hell, you made a sensation (sensation) You found a way through (found a way through)

*All*

One by one Only the good die young They're only flyin' too close to the sun *Roger*

We'll remember Forever

When it was finally my turn, I took the hoodie off and proceeded to play the piano as I sung the third voice. My heart was heavy and my throat felt like clenching up but I kept my sorrow at bay in order to get this done in one take.

Cause I knew if I didn't, then there's probably no way I could keep my composure after three takes of singing this verse. Because all that came through my mind were the good memories of Freddie, and how I couldn't even believe that he was really gone. Even though almost 6 years have passed.

*Me*

And now the party must be over I guess we'll never understand The sense of your leaving Was it the way it was planned?

And so we grace another table And raise our glasses one more time There's a face at the window And I ain't never, never sayin' goodbye

By the end of it all, the video would show Queen and the Rock Angel singing the song with such sorrow but passion as we sung it in honor of our beloved Freddie.

Soon all four of us were gathered around the piano, Deacy still sitting on his stool, but Brian, Roger and I were gathered close together with music sheets in our hands. I stood by Roger and would sing the first line before finding myself unconsciously leaning against him for support.

Thankfully he didn't see anything wrong with it as he wrapped an arm around me and took the next part before Brian would be the one to finish it since he was the one to start it.

*All*

One by one Only the good die young They're only flyin' too close to the sun *Me*

Cryin' for nothing *Roger*

Cryin' for no one *Brian*

No one but you

The video would then close off as the camera would rise up over the four of us gathered around the piano. The lights shutting off and us acting like we were now leaving the studio after a hard day's work.

"Cut! Okay Brian, come and see what you like and what we need to reshoot." The director called out and both he and Brian began speaking to each other as Bri reviewed the footage.

As I watched Bri talk to the director, I felt a slight nudge at my shoulder and I looked up to see Deacy. His eyes were sad but the smile across his face held some warmth to it. I leaned my head against his chest and I felt his hand rest on top of my head, gently scratching my scalp.

"You still got it poppet."

"Singing to the kids still keeps my pipes in check." I felt him gently kiss the top of my head when the director called out.

"Alright Mrs. Kline. We're gonna runback from your verse, your hair got in the way of your face too much." I nodded and soon someone from the hair department came and brushed my hair back out of my face. As well as take a couple of hairpins to make sure the strands didn't get in my face again.

Deacy walked back towards his stool and Brian went to grab his guitar once again while Rog twirled his sticks.

"Okay playback from the third verse." The music picked back up and the cameras rolled and I sung the third verse once again, this time I could feel myself choking up as I sang the verse again.

This continued to go on with reshoots, trying to make this video even better. By the fifth time singing it, I needed to step out and take a breather because at this point I was just about to breakdown crying. Luckily for me, Deacy was right there for me the whole time till I calmed down and was ready to go back to recording.

Four hours later, the video was complete. Once the director as well as the boys were satisfied with the results, it was time to head home. Roger insisted that I stay with him the next couple of days (because he wanted to know more about his new godson) as well as catch up with one another. As I placed my coat back on over me, I heard Deacy's voice say my name softly.

"What is it Deacy?"

"Can I—can I talk to you for a moment? Privately." The look in his eyes were full of regret, almost like he didn't even want to tell me whatever it was he wanted to say.

"Sure Deacy, let me just tell dad to wait up for me." He nodded while I raced off towards Roger and told him that I needed to talk with Deacy.

From behind his new circular prescription shades (kinda similar to what ole Ozzy has), I could see that he must've known what Deacy wanted to tell me.

I walked back towards Deacy who took my hand and led me out of the studio and out into the abandoned hallways. No one was there but us two.

"Alright John Deacon, what's really going on?" he refused to look me in the eye.

"I—the reason why I wanted you to be a part of this music video was because I......I wanted to work with you. One last time." My heart slowly sunk. "Freddie he—he was what made Queen the way it was from the beginning. Without him there......th-there just isn't any need for Queen to continue on."

I remained silent as John confessed his heartbreaking news. I could see the redness of tears at the corner of his eyes.

"I just can't continue with all this. Not without him. This—was my last contribution to Queen. And—I wanted it to also be the last time I worked alongside the Rock Angel as well." He went silent again. "I'm sorry love." He sniffled.

I reached out and softly took his hands in mine. When he felt my touch, his eyes finally looked right at me. I looked at him with pure empathy before walking closer to him till I finally embraced him.

Play video

Oh my poor brother, I felt him tense up underneath my touch. It was almost like he was expecting me to go full on hysterical about him retiring from music forever.

"I was a fan before I met you guys. I've read every interview you guys ever did, seen all the concerts. And never have I seen a band be so involved with each other as Queen has. Like me, Freddie took you under his wing and allowed you to soar. You never just became the 'bass player', or the 'quiet guy in the corner'. No you, John Richard Deacon, are the most vital and important piece that was needed for Queen to finally rise to the top. And Fred saw that in you."

I cupped his face in my hands as I continued,

"If this is what will bring you peace, I'll understand."

"You knew my reason all along, didn't you?" he said. I only gave him a soft smile before I embraced him.

"You will always be my brother mine." He slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around my back and he whispered his last words to me.

"And you'll forever be my sister dear." We remained there in each other's arms. Embracing each other as tightly as we could, inhaling each other's scents, remembering each other's touch.

Because I knew that once we let go, this would be the last time we would ever see each other again.

Finally I forced myself to release him from my embrace. I looked down sadly trying not to cry in front of him. I felt his hand cup the side of my face and his forehead press up against mine.

Our noses softly grazing one another's until I finally felt him give me one final kiss on the cheek.

When I opened my eyes, I only saw his back and heard as his shoes clicked along the hallway. That image would forever be imprinted into my brain for as long as I live.

"Goodbye......my sweet, sweet John Deacon." I whispered softly. The tears then softly fell down my face as he finally turned left and disappeared from my sights, leaving me all alone in the hallway.

After a while I finally left the studio and met Roger at his car. The hidden tearstains still glistening on my face and the occasional sniffle coming out. He didn't say a word as he looked at me knowingly, I looked up at him and ran into his chest and softly wept into his shoulder.

His father instincts toward me immediately kicked in as he wrapped his arms around me and tried his best to comfort me. God I tried so badly to not let this affect me. I knew where Deacy was coming from and I do respect his decision, I truly do, but—I just can't believe that even after this I'll never get to see my brother mine again.

It was like losing my parents all over again, except this was much, much worse. This time he'll be so close yet so far away.

*FF to May 14th, 1998*

I had done it. I was a college graduate at last. Earlier today I had finally done the famed college graduation walk that all my previous friends in college got to do all those years ago, and I was an official college graduate.

(Y/n) Kline, Bachelor's degree in English with a concentration in Creative Writing.

It was late afternoon and I was sitting up along the balcony of the vacation home with a glass of wine in hand. We all had just gotten back from a family dinner in celebration of my graduation, now I wanted to be at peace and watch the sunset.

Because starting tomorrow, I decided that it was time to head back to our home in London and I wanted to get back to work.

"Thought I'd find you up here." I heard Jack's voice say. I smiled as I turned towards him.

"I was wondering if you'd be joining me."

"Well you know as well as I do that if those twins of ours are left unattended during their bath, they'll drown the entire bathroom in soap again."

"God that was such a nightmare to clean up." I laughed as he came up and sat down close beside me on my lawn chair. I noticed in his hands he held some mail. "What all did we get?"

"Well some bills, junk mail, some congratulation cards from the family back home in America, as well as from Brian and Roger, and.....that's it." I extended my hand out and he handed me the mail and I began sorting out the business mail from the personal one.

It was then I came across an interesting letter. One I never though I'd expect to see.

"What's this?" I turned the letter towards him and that's when Jack's face went pale. For you see the letter was addressed to Jack but the place it was from is what had me curious. The letter was from the London Police Academy.

"Oh shit." He muttered.

"C'mon Jack spill it, what is this?"

"I really didn't want to make a big deal out of this, especially since these past few months were all about you."

"Jack." I warned him since he was getting off the subject. He sighed heavily before he took the letter from my hands and said.

"Okay. Do you remember when I had gone up to London, and I told you that I was just going up there to check on the house?" I nodded. "Well, I lied. The truth is—I went to apply for the London Police Academy because—I want to become a police officer, and eventually a criminal detective."

"Jack."

"I know I must sound crazy but, this was my decision. After what happened to us with—you know. For the past year and a half and then....dealing with the trail. It put all of us through hell. And I—I don't want us or for anyone else to go through the pain that we went through. That bastard nearly tore this family apart, and it was because of the law that he got away with it every time. Creeps like him shouldn't get off scot-free."

I hugged my husband as tightly as I could and I said with a wide smile.

"I'm so proud of you."

"Really?" I separated from him and continued.

"You're my husband and you've been so supportive of me for years. It's about time I was supportive of you in your dream career."

"Well I don't even know if I even got in, that's probably what this letter is."

"Then what are you waiting for? Open it!" I chuckled and opened up the envelope and soon took out the folded letter and read it to himself.

"I—I got in."

"Oh my darling that's fantastic! Congrats!" I hugged and kissed him.

"Well hold on, this just means that I'm a potential candidate for a chance at working for the London Police force. There's still like a six month process when it comes to actually getting in. Right now I'm just joining the academy for some training."

"Still, that's something to be proud of. Oh Jack, you're gonna be a fantastic officer. And soon a world-class detective. A regular Sherlock Holmes if you will." I teased the last part as I bopped his nose.

"I don't think I can be that good. But—I'll try my best. For you, for our kids, and for every other stalking victims out there. The law may have failed us, but I won't let it fail for those in the future." I smiled at my loving husband and cupped his face and kissed him. "Oh and there's something for you inside."

"Really? Another surprise?"

"Well it's more like a small package. And sadly it's not from me." I looked at him confused.

"Then who is it from?" he shrugged but led me inside back into our bedroom where the small package lay at the foot of our bed. I opened it up and inside there was a single videotape. It had no marking or writing on it to indicate what it was.

The two of us looked at each other perplexed before I went towards our VHS player and insert the tape into it. I turned the TV on and the screen was blue as the tape finally began to play.

Coming up on the screen sitting right on a couch was none other than John.

"Hello (y/n), Jack. And the young Kline cubs, if they are there." He softly chuckled with a slight smile. Jack sat down beside me on the foot of our bed as we continued to watch Deacy's tape. "(Y/n), my darling sister dear. I know that—my leaving from Queen may seem like another abandonment but I swear to you it's not."

"Seems like this is just for you both, I'll just—"

"And Jack you stay right there with her because this is for you too." Jack looked at the telly surprised.

"Holy shit that was creepy."

"Our Deacy knows all." I wrapped my arms around my husband's arm as Deacy continued.

"Now—I have known you both for a long time. And both of you have equally been such an important part of my life. So it breaks my heart to know that this—might be the last time we meet face to face. But there is no doubt in my mind that you both are going to change the world. (Y/n), my lovely Rock Angel, you continue to spread your wings and fly. I know that you're going to continue to be the brightest and biggest solo female rockstar this world will ever know. And Jack, my pupil, my dearest American friend. You continue to protect your family, because if there's one final piece of advice that I can give you, it's that family is forever. Friends may come and go, but family is forever. And I know that whatever you choose to do with your life, your wife is gonna be there to support you. You both were meant for each other. I love you both so much. Continue to love, to give, to inspire, and......be happy. Bye."

The screen went black for a moment before he came back on screen and he began to say.

"Kelly, Jackson, Georgie and—little baby Freddie." At that point I stopped the tape and I turned to face Jack. I could already see the faint tears in his eyes.

Play video

"So this is really it huh?" Jack asked. I nodded. "I—can't believe we'll never get to actually talk to Deacy again." I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"This is just his way of grieving. Deacy's very fragile right now. You know how his childhood was, and losing Freddie at three years his father's age. It's like—losing two father figures to him."

"I know. It's just that....." Jack looked at me with tears in his eyes.

Jack really did look up to Deacy for everything. After all they've been through for over 10 years together, to Jack it was like he was losing a very good friend.

"I know my love, I know. But this is what Deacy needs. To be with just his family now, and not be reminded of the pain of losing Freddie. And who knows—maybe, and this is a slight maybe, we might see him again. But until then we need to respect his wishes." Jack nodded and the two of us cuddled close together as we were both thinking the same thing.

We hope that you're happy at home John Richard Deacon.

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littlelambdrgnfly · 4 years

Note

Would you ever do the ultimate beatlemaniac tag? I would LOVE to see your answers!!

Thanks for asking!

How long have you been a fan? Until I was 17, I thought they were good but just not my style, I was much more into punk music!

Favorite Beatle: John, but I adore Paul and George too. John’s just my boy, you know?

Favorite era for music: I’d have to pick mid-to-late Beatles even though I love their early stuff too! In terms of personality, I prefer the early stuff; for the music, the later stuff.

Favorite era for lewks: Teddy boy Beatles, for sure! But I’m a big fan of the moptops and basically 1966 as a whole.

Favorite song: Hey Jude just puts me on another spiritual plane, honestly. But Dear Prudence is a very close second!

Favorite album: Abbey Road. One of my old teachers used to say that Hamlet is as close as you can come to the “perfect” play, I feel that way about albums and Abbey Road. White Album and Rubber Soul are two and three!

Unpopular/Controversial Beatles opinion: They were all bastards! I love them but there’s not a single one of them without a story that makes me cringe.

A song everyone loves but you dislike: I don’t care for The Long and Winding Road, at least the Spector mix. It’s way too sentimental! The stripped version is a lot better. I also don’t really like Imagine.

A song everyone dislikes but you love: Why does everyone hate Wild Honey Pie?? I think it’s such a cute, funny little filler piece.

Your fantasy involving The Beatles: I own a bookstore in Hamburg and become friends with all the Beatles and the Exis. They think I’m super smart and cool, and I get to help them come to terms with their sexual identities, treat women and marginalized communities better, and turn them onto weed before Dylan does, lol.

Tell us about the moment you knew you were a fan: When I heard the Anthology version of “And Your Bird Can Sing” (I don’t know, lmao)

Did you ever have a genuine ‘The Beatles suck!’ phase before becoming a fan? Not really, but the first time I listened to the White Album, the vibes coming from it freaked me out so much that I didn’t listen to it all the way through for years afterward.

Favorite Beatles book: Probably Pete Shotton’s book! I love Mike’s books too, he’s such a funny guy... In terms of more academic titles, I really loved Steven Stark’s book and “You Never Give Me Your Money” by Peter Doggett.

Thoughts on the old generation of fans: I haven’t had much interaction with the older gen(s) but I find the men mostly insufferable. There was this older dude who came into the record store all the time (he bought EVERY single edition of Paul’s last album), and he actively made every Beatles fan who worked there like the band a little less.

If Hollywood were to make a high budget Beatles biopic, what is one thing you desperately hope they include? I don’t like biopics, I hope they don’t make one! If they do, it better just be about John and Paul boning for 90 minutes.

Do you read/write fanfic?: You’re on this blog, so you know this!

Are you the only one in your family/friend group to enjoy them?: My family and a number of my friends like them, but yeah, I like them the most.

Are you a shipper?: Tragically

Favorite movie starring/made by them?: AHDN! I love Yellow Submarine too and I just wish it starred them! It’s very distracting to me that it’s not their voices, lol.

Do you believe in McLennon?: I’m like 98% positive it’s real

General opinions on McLennon?: I think they were a couple, and if they weren’t, then I think it was because of the general opinion of same-sex couples at the time and fear for their reputation. I hope it was real, but I think I could keep myself together if it wasn’t. It just makes me want to die when shippers ask these kinds of questions to their families though! God, please do NOT.

If you got to change ONE thing about their history, what would it be and why?: Brian shouldn’t have died... But if I had to chose something smaller, then there should have been more of George’s songs on the White Album.

What song has the best vocals?: Christ, I can’t even choose a top 10...

What song do you feel had no effort put into it?: More of their earlier stuff, particularly on Beatles for Sale, but Eight Days a Week really sticks out to me, even though I like that one a lot. It makes me think of that quote, “Let’s sit down and write ourselves a swimming pool!”

What is a well talked about moment in Beatles history you genuinely believe to be false?: When John met Yoko at that art show... We know that’s not real, lol.

What is something you KNOW to be true, but often gets erased in their history?: John and Paul’s whole dynamic, I feel like a lot of people just don’t get it

Least favorite look from a Beatle(s): I hate the collarless suits! I also don’t like John’s mustache.

Favorite look from a Beatle(s): Just all of 1966!!!

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ashtray-girl · 5 years

Text

Songs that are about Johnny Marr (probably)

THE SMITHS

The Smiths

Hand In Glove → the lyrics are about a deep friendship and Johnny himself said he thinks it’s about his relationship with Morrissey because they were “only hanging out with each other at the time”.

Meat Is Murder

I Want The One I Can’t Have → all about unrequited love. A possible reference in the title to Elizabeth Smart’s novella By Grand Central Station I Sat Down And Wept – “I want the one I want.” Also: “Meet me in the Alley” is a 1972 song by John Mars.

Well I Wonder → a desperate plea by Morrissey for someone to keep him in mind. There are several loans from By Grand Central Station... (which by the way is about a deeply emotional, doomed and unrequited love), namely: “Well I wonder, do you hear me when you sleep?” / “Is it possible he can not hear me when he lies so close, so lightly asleep?” , “My dear, my darling, do you hear me when you sleep?” “This is the fierce last stand of what I am.” This song was never performed live and Johnny said it was because they were afraid they wouldn’t be able to capture its full magic, which makes sense, but I also get the feeling that this song was particularly special to both Morrissey and Johnny, for reasons which went beyond its lyricism and music.

The Queen Is Dead

I Know It’s Over → conceived just a few months after Johnny married his girlfriend Angie while The Smiths were on tour in the US. Morrissey was Johnny’s witness. The lyrics mention a wedding and a failed relationship that “never really began” because “love is natural and real, but not for such as you and I, my love” (where “natural and real” could easily be interpreted as “straight”.)

The Boy With The Thorn In His Side → even though Morrissey said that this was a song about his tormented relationship with the music industry (that being the “thorn” in his side), in my opinion there’s also another interpretation. Just as in Well I Wonder, there are a few loans from By Grand Central Station… namely: “How can they see the love in our eyes and still they don’t believe us?” / “They intercepted our glances because of what was in our eyes.” “And if they don’t believe us now, will they ever believe us?” / “Did they see such flagrant proof and still not believe?”. These are especially relevant because they come from a point in the book in which the author is specifically talking about her love for a married man (poet George Barker) and about how they were attempting to see each other in spite of that, which caused them to get arrested while together in Arizona for “moral turpitude”.

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out → references being driven around in someone’s car. Morrissey and Johnny apparently used to go on long car rides together, Morrissey talked about how he found cars to be “erotic” and there are multiple examples of that in his lyrics (see This Charming Man, That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore etc.). Also, the lyrics are, once again, about unrequited love.

Strangeways Here We Come (the pining here was at its finest imo)

A Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours → the title is a reference to a traditional Irish rallying call which Oscar Wilde’s mother, who wrote Irish nationalist prose and poetry, used to urge the Irish to rise up against the British army. “Some eighteen months ago” could be a reference to Oscar Wilde being sentenced to hard labor for soliciting male prostitutes. The lyrics are about the “pain and strain” of being in love despite not wanting to. Also, the way he sings “so phone me, phone me” sounds like he’s saying “f*ck me”. (I thought I was the only one who thought that, but apparently not.)

I Started Something I Couldn’t Finish → the lyrics are about going too far with someone who can’t/doesn’t want to be pushed. Another reference to “eighteen months’ hard labor”. The “Okay Stephen, do that again” at the end is aimed at producer Stephen Street, but Morrissey is also called Steven. Why was that left in the recording? Was it fully intentional? Who wants Stephen to do what again? Maybe the other person mentioned in the song doesn’t actually mind being pushed out of their comfort zone by Morrissey, they just lack the courage to seal the whole deal for whatever reason.

Girlfriend In A Coma → according to the lyrics, Morrissey doesn’t seem to like this woman, yet he feels guilty about it and doesn’t wish her ill. Could this be a reference to Angie Marr, who he sees as an obstacle between him and Johnny, despite having a good opinion of her as a person?

Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before → by now, Morrissey may have realized that he has written an awful lot about being in love with someone who doesn’t reciprocate. Also, his love for this other person must be so obvious by now, he’s said almost everything on the subject and yet he still wants to make clear that: “Nothing’s changed, I still love you, only slightly less than I used to, my love.” By now, his working relationship with Johnny was starting to deteriorate. Another interesting note is: “Oh, who said I’d lied to her because I never? I never!”. While this is grammatically incorrect, it’s also a common way of speaking in most Northern cities, so this reads like a quote that someone may have uttered at some point and this may be why, when called out on it, Morrissey said it was meant to be written that way. It’s worth pointing out how Morrissey liked to correct Johnny’s grammar in interviews and he even mentioned in his Autobiography how Johnny’s way of speaking was “shockingly bad”.

Death At One’s Elbow → the song’s title was taken from the diaries of 60s playwright Joe Orton, beaten to death with a hammer by his lover Kenneth Halliwell. Johnny’s opinion on the song was ambivalent. He stated that: “It was good sometimes to have a track that wasn’t trying to win the war like There Is A Light That Never Goes Out,” he said. "It was almost like, ‘We have the right to be slightly less intense.’ I liked Morrissey’s singing and I liked my own backing vocals” and yet, when asked by Johnny Rogan about it for his book Morrissey & Marr: The Severed Alliance, he sounded much less pleased with it, saying: “Oh God, did we really write that?”.

I Won’t Share You → widely believed by everyone to be about Morrissey’s possessive feelings towards Johnny (who not only didn’t mind, but seemed actually quite pleased about it).

Others

Wonderful Woman → It was originally titled “What Do You See In Him?” and included lyrics such as: “Cheat the Life out of me as you walk hand in hand / And I try, and I try, but I will never understand / What do you see in her?” “That she will plague you / And I will be glad / Yes, she will leave you / And I will be glad.” The final version, albeit quite different, is still about a woman who seems quite unpleasant but to whom the protagonist feels irresistibly drawn to. With the final: “When she calls me I do not walk, I run” there’s an acknowledgment of co-dependence in the relationship but, even though the first person is used, this could have been a way to write from someone else’s point of view. Specifically, the boyfriend of someone with a very domineering personality. (Basically, he’s writing from Johnny’s perspective).

Ask → the lyrics are about being too shy to make a move on someone, yet Morrissey seems to be eager to take on board whatever the other person has in mind. There’s pining and there’s the possibility of a relationship which looks promising but never amounts to anything substantial because the people involved don’t have the courage to take it any further, despite wanting to.

These Things Take Time → mentions of a relationship which is impeded by the fact that the other person is engaged to someone else (“I’m spellbound, but a woman divides”). Johnny was already with Angie at the time. “And the hills are alive with celibate cries”. Morrissey had been talking to the press about being celibate and not really interested in romantic/sexual relationships, but the fact that the object of his desire was someone he knew he couldn’t have could have been part of the reason why he felt he had to take that stance. Also, it seems like he already felt like this relationship wouldn’t last, with the other person “leaving him behind” in the end.

Is It Really So Strange? → I’m not so sure about this one, but I’m including it because the lyrics are about traveling from North to South and about loving someone in spite of unfavorable circumstances. Also, according to Johnny (from Mozipedia): “Road trips were a big part of the group. We opted to live in Manchester most of the time but were always traveling back and forth to London. It was in cars on the motorway where myself and Morrissey did a lot of our profound talking and thinking and listening. We loved it, because we’d take off at half three in the morning back to Manchester or down to London, just razzing about. That came out in ‘Is It Really So Strange?’”. As a matter of fact, Morrissey included the track on Rank, which he compiled alone a year after the band’s demise, and I feel like every song on that record was put in that particular order for a particular reason (if you look at the tracklist it basically tells the whole story of The Smiths, from start to finish… he even included The Draize Train which he claimed he didn’t like, which is why he refused to put lyrics on it, so I can only assume he did that as a conciliatory gesture towards Johnny).

I Keep Mine Hidden → the last song The Smiths ever recorded, it is, like “I Won’t Share You”, widely believed to be a direct message from Morrissey to Johnny, who was about to leave the band. A plea for understanding, he seems to imply that for Johnny is much easier to lie (about what?) while hiding in plain sight (“But it’s so easy for you, because you let yours flail into public view”), while Morrissey is forced to keep HIS hidden. IT could be his emotions and the fact that he feels the need to repress them because of some trauma in his past (“I’m a twenty-eight digit combination to unlock, with a past where to be touched meant to be mental.”), but IT could also be a relationship. Johnny was married, while at the time Morrissey showed no public signs of being involved with anyone and had yet to relinquish his celibate image, which may have been frustrating if he was actually interested in someone but couldn’t voice it.

MORRISSEY

Viva Hate

Alsatian Cousin → literally the first sentence on the first record Morrissey released post-Smiths is: “Were you and he lovers? And would you say so if you were?”. While the rest of the song is pretty ambiguous is interesting to note that, according to Mozipedia, Johnny was, at the time, the proud owner of two Alsatian dogs.

Angel Angel Down We Go Together → Morrissey himself admitted that this song was about Johnny. He also said it’s the only song he’d written with him in mind, post-Smiths, and that it was about how sorry he felt to see him being taken advantage of by the music industry. While the full truth of this statement may be debatable, it’s still worth noting how the lyrics end with the repeated: “I love you more than life”.

Late Night, Maudlin Street → While Morrissey said that this song was about his isolating childhood during the 70s, I think the lyrics go much deeper than that. Apparently, when Johnny wanted to leave the band, Morrissey took it badly enough for people to start worrying about the fact that he might take his own life. Both Stephen Street and Grant Showbiz admitted to this, with Showbiz even spending the night at Morrissey’s house to keep an eye on him. There’s also a rumor about the fact that Morrissey actually did attempt to kill himself by baking a cake with loads of sleeping pills in it, eating it and then phoning Johnny, admitting that he loved him and asking him to come seeing him before he died, with Johnny calling an ambulance instead. (“I came home late one night, everyone had gone to bed, nobody stays up for you, I had sixteen stitches all around my head / The last bus I missed to Maudlin Street so, he drove me home in the van...”) This would also explain the lyrics: “And I know I took strange pills, but I never meant to hurt you”. If this story was true, then I feel like moving away from Maudlin Street could actually be a metaphor for committing suicide. (“Good-bye house, forever! I never stole a happy hour around here”, “I am moving house, a half-life disappears today / Every hag waves me on, secretly wishing me gone / Well, I will be soon / Oh, I will be soon.”) There are also more loans from Elizabeth Smart’s By Grand Central Station… namely: “They took you away in a police car / Dear Inspector, don’t you know? Don’t you care? Don’t you know about love?”. This part comes from the same chapter which probably inspired part of the lyrics for The Boy With The Thorn In His Side and which is about people putting themselves between a loving couple. Also, according to Mozipedia, during the making of Viva Hate, Morrissey prepared the artwork for the final Smiths single, Last Night I Dreamt… which was originally going to include an inscription on the back sleeve saying: “When I sleep with that picture beside me… I really think it’s you.”, which would explain the lyrics: “When I sleep with that framed picture of you beside my bed / Oh, it’s childish and it’s silly, but I think it’s you in my room, by the bed.” The single’s inner sleeve was also going to feature a lyric from Well I Wonder, “Please keep me in mind”, so these may very well have been messages for Johnny. Worthy of interest are also the parts about love at first sight and seeing each other with no clothes on.

Suedehead → the lyrics are about someone sticking around Morrissey even though they know it hurts him. Suedeheads were a subculture in early 1970’s England that split off from the skinheads and came to popular notice in a book by Richard Allen. Morrissey apparently read the book, but according to Len Brown’s Meetings with Morrissey interviews, the title has little to do with the subject matter of the song: M: I did happen to read the book when it came out and I was quite interested in the whole Richard Allen cult. But really I just like the word ‘suedehead’." LB: “So it’s not even based on an episode from Suedehead?” M: “No, not really.” LB: “And it’s not about anyone in particular?” M: “Yes, it is, but I’d rather not give any addresses and phone numbers at this stage. But the most interesting nugget of information comes once again from Mozipedia, which says it may be worth taking into consideration a recollection from Johnny about a period during the latter half of The Smiths’ career when he decided to ‘get a motorbike and get a suedehead’. ‘That was my mantra for a while. Gotta get a suedehead! Gotta get a suedehead!’ […] ‘I think I may have brought that word into the vernacular, I might be wrong. But that’s what I did, got myself a motorbike and a suedehead haircut. To cloud further autobiographical analysis, Morrissey also said that he has never kept a diary, even though “I make so many records that in a peculiar way that becomes like a personal diary”. And as far as the repeated “It was a good lay” at the end, he said he just made it up (which I personally doubt, but I guess we’ll never know for sure).

Break Up The Family → I feel like the title is a metaphor for The Smiths splitting up. “You say break up the family and let’s begin to live our lives”. It was Johnny who wanted to ‘take a break’ from the band, which Morrissey didn’t approve of, so this may very well be about that particular moment when Johnny told him he’d had enough. There’s yet another reference to being driven home by someone: “Hailstones, driven home in his car- no breaks? I don’t mind.” Which reminds me of There Is A Light… “And if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side it’s such a heavenly way to die.”

I Don’t Mind If You Forget Me → when Morrissey started working on Viva Hate, one of the earliest songs he was working on was called I Don’t Want Us To Finish, with Us probably being him and Johnny. It’s said the song was later scrapped, but I feel like it may actually have been turned into this one instead. In the lyrics, Morrissey is trying to convince himself that he doesn’t mind if the person he cares about the most ends up forgetting him, but clearly he does care, otherwise he wouldn’t have written an entire song about it. “The pressure to change, to move on / Was strange and very strong / So this is why I tell you / I really do understand / Bye bye”. I feel like this is another reference to Johnny’s departure, because it was him who wanted a change of direction for the band’s future, while Morrissey seemed to be happy for them to stay as they were.

Treat Me Like A Human Being → this was a demo which was abandoned and later released in 2012 on a Viva Hate reissue, taking the place as track 9 instead of The Ordinary Boys. The lyrics are a plea by Morrissey for someone to acknowledge his feelings and have some compassion for him. The reason I’m including it in this list is because of the lyric: “Leave all your hate behind you”, which could be interpreted as a reference to the fact that, after The Smiths split up, Johnny had started bad-mouthing him in the press. Worthy of interest is also: “Three words could change my life / Yet you treat me like you never care”. I wonder what those three words might be… “Stop being racist”, maybe?

Oh Well, I’ll Never Learn → Suedehead b-side, there’s not much to say about this one but I do find the lyrics “I found a fountain of youth / And I fell in / How could I ever win?” interesting, if anything because they make me think of the fact that Johnny, being four years younger than Morrissey, was the one who put The Smiths together. It’s also been mentioned how energetic he was, fully in contrast with Morrissey’s coy personality, and yet Johnny’s energy would prove infectious, providing him with an unexpected source of drive and creativity and making him feel rejuvenated, much like a fountain of youth. Also, right at the beginning it says: “Looking up at the sign / It said: PLEASE KEEP AWAY / And so in I ran” which can be read in many ways, but would make perfect sense in the context of falling in love with someone you can’t have.

Bona Drag

He Knows I’d Love To See Him → the lyrics are about Morrissey wanting to rekindle his relationship with someone he hasn’t seen for quite some time. Even though he’s never admitted to it, I feel like this has to be about Johnny because of the line: “’Cause when I lived in the arse of the world”. It’s common knowledge that Johnny was the one who first reached out to Morrissey about forming a band by showing up to his house and later, in an interview, he said that Johnny’s initiative probably saved his life. Also, the lyric: “My name still conjures up deadly deeds / And a bad taste in the mouth” could be yet another reference to the fact that The Smiths’ split-up hadn’t been exactly amicable and Johnny was talking badly about him in the press. Still, even though Morrissey makes his feelings known right from the title (he wish he could see him and still wishes him happiness), the final: “He doesn’t know” suggests that the other person is not aware of Morrissey’s magnanimity. Also, in an interview of the same period (1990), he was asked: “If Johnny phoned and asked to work with you again, what would you say?” to which he replied: “It’s no secret I would be on the next bus to his house”. So, it seems like the song might have reflected his actual feelings.

Yes, I Am Blind → the reason I’m including this is because of the lyric: “Yes, I am blind / But I do see / Evil people prosper / Over the likes of you and me, always”. Which reminds me a lot of: “And people who are weaker than you and I / they take what they want from life” from A Rush And A Push… which I think was directed to Johnny as well. Pretty interesting are also the lyrics: “Love’s young dream / I’m the one who shopped you / I’m the one who stopped you / ‘Cause in my sorry ways I love you” and: “Love’s young dream / Are you sorry for what you’re done? / Well, you’re not the only one / And in my sorry ways I love you”. This sounds like ‘Love’s young dream’ was the one who made the first move towards Morrissey but was then pushed away by the man himself, maybe because he realized this person didn’t actually love him as much as he thought. Also, that repeated: “And in my sorry ways I love you” reminds me a lot of that line in Speedway, “In my own strange way / I’ve always been true to you / In my own sick way / I’ll always stay true to you” (more on that later). This is one of those songs that has no explicit references to Johnny or to events surrounding him, but it has such a feeling of longing to it, I can’t help but think it may have been written with him in mind.

Happy Lovers At Last United → Johnny and Angie split up for a brief period back in 1983, just before The Smiths were to go on tour in the USA for the first time, but got back together once the band were back in the UK. This song talks about Morrissey helping a couple of friends reuniting and then feeling sad because he feels like they don’t want him nor need him anymore. Obviously I don’t know why or how Johnny and Angie actually got back together… according to The Severed Alliance, they had split up in the first place because Johnny had gotten closer to an ex of his and it was actually Joe Moss, the band’s first manager and Johnny’s friend, who suggested he and Angie should get married. Morrissey’s role in this whole thing, on the other hand, is never mentioned, so the only thing we can rely on are these lyrics.

Kill Uncle

Tony The Pony → This song is a pretty harsh condemnation of someone who lets himself being repeatedly taken advantage of by anyone and personally, I see it as the flipside of Angel Angel Down We Go Together. The reason being, they both deal with a similar theme, but in two completely different ways. While Angel Angel is sad but compassionate, this one is resentful and dripping with exasperation. “Just don’t say I didn’t warn you / Always nagging big brother / He’s only looking out for you”. Being older than Johnny, Morrissey was the one who tried to refrain him from doing stuff he didn’t approve of (like working with anyone who wasn’t him). “Tony the pony / So, that’s what they call you now? / When you’re free outside / So cold and hard and in control / And… there’s a free ride on Tony the pony”. Again, Johnny was the one who left the band, who wanted a change of direction and who, right after The Smiths split up, started playing with loads of different people (Bryan Ferry, Talking Heads, The Pretenders, Bernard Sumner…) and that would make any control freak (such as Morrissey undoubtedly is) very bitter very quickly. He’s basically calling Johnny a (music) slut, who anyone can try and hire for a while. “Oh, why do you always want to stop me / From doing the things in life that make me happy? / And when I’m outside with friends, laughing loudly / Why do you always want to stop me?” and immediately after: “Oh, I would never / I would never”. This reads like a dialogue, with Tony the pony first asking Morrissey why he always has to spoil his fun and Morrissey replying that he would never dream of doing such a thing. Right at the end though, the bitterness comes right through with: “I will never say I told you so / or how I knew that something bad would happen to you / I don’t want to say I told you so / oh, but Tony, I told you so!”. I wish there were more specific references (like… what did happen to Tony that was so bad?), but I feel like my initial point still stands.

The Loop → Sing Your Life b-side, the lyrics are a plea for someone to call him if he needs him. “So one day, when you’re bored / By all means call / Because you can do / But you might not get through”. I find the last line particularly interesting because it reveals that Morrissey’s professed availability has an expire date after all. As for the identity of this plea’s addressee, I’m just gonna quote Mozipedia: “The singer’s short message to an old friend telling them ‘by all means call me’ and inevitably interpreted by Smiths romantics as being directed towards Marr.” Apparently, Morrissey was especially proud of this song, even calling it his favourite at the time.

Your Arsenal

You’re Gonna Need Someone On Your Side → This is another one which I have doubts on (the lyrics are so vague they could be about anyone, really), but Verse 2 is the one I find the most interesting: “Someone kindly told me that you’d wasted eight of nine lives / Oh, give yourself a break before you break down / You’re gonna need someone on your side”. Johnny was known to be a workaholic, even compromising his own health by devoting all of his time to any project he was working on. He also mentioned how alcohol and drugs became a problem for him in the 90s, how he used them to cope with stress, and by this time he was working with Bernard Sumner on Electronic, so my guess is that they were leading quite a hectic lifestyle. Considering him and Morrissey were still not talking to each other, it would make sense for Morrissey to know what he was up to through friends they had in common and if they had told him Johnny was still working himself to the point of exhaustion, it would make sense for him to get worried about him, hence this song, which is about being supportive through concern for someone. The other interesting part is the ending: “And here I am! / Well, you don’t need to look so pleased”. It feels like Morrissey knows the other person wouldn’t necessarily want his support, even though that doesn’t stop him from providing it, hoping the other person might come around eventually.

Tomorrow → The reason I’m including it on this list is this part: “All I ask of you is one thing that you’ll never do / Would you put your arms around me? / I won’t tell anybody.” which, even though the connection is tenuous, reminds me of this bit from by Grand Central Station… “I am lonely. I cannot be a female saint. I want the one I want. He is the one I picked out from the world. I picked him out in cold deliberation. But the passion was not cold. It kindled me. It kindled the world. Love, love, give my heart ease, put your arms round me, give my heart ease. Feel the little bastard.” It could be about Johnny or it could be about someone else entirely. At this point, some time had passed since The Smiths’ demise and who knows what Morrissey had been exactly up to (and with whom)? The one thing I’m quite sure of is that, considering how much he took from it, Morrissey used By Grand Central Station… as a way to express and sublimate his conflicting feelings towards Johnny (I might make a separate, more in-depth analysis on that in the future).

Vauxhall and I (Vauxhall is both an area of London noted for its gay clubs AND a British car manufacturer, so it looks like Morrissey’s car kink is still alive and well).

Billy Budd → from Mozipedia: “Taking its title from the 1960 film Billy Budd, based upon the posthumously published novella of Moby Dick author Herman Melville, Morrissey uses the term as a playful nickname for a long-standing and long-suffering companion. As he describes, their relationship provokes public ridicule and discrimination, so much so that Morrissey comically volunteers to have his legs amputated as a sacrifice for Billy’s freedom. The elusive nature of the lyrics offers few clues as to the identity of ‘Billy Budd’ beyond the mention of ‘12 years on’. Since the song was released in 1994 (though recorded in 1993) the line was interpreted by many as a reference to Johnny Marr whom he ‘took up with’ 12 years earlier in 1982. This theory is somewhat compounded by the outrageously spooky coincidence that in 1888 Melville published a collection of poetry titled John Marr and Other Sailors. The song also includes what appears to be another fleeting citation from one of Morrissey’s favourite sources, Elizabeth Smart’s By Grand Central Station… ([‘they intercepted our glances because of] what was in our eyes’)”. There’s also an audio floating around in which Morrissey changes the lyrics from “but now it’s 12 years on” to “now it’s 15 years on” in 1997, 15 years after he met Johnny. As for the Melville references, I highly recommend you go and read his ‘John Marr’ poem in its entirety, but this is my favourite part: - I yearn as ye. But rafts that strain, Parted, shall they lock again? Twined we were, entwined, then riven, Ever to new embracements driven, Shifting gulf-weed of the main! And how if one here shift no more, Lodged by the flinging surge ashore? Nor less, as now, in eve's decline, Your shadowy fellowship is mine. Ye float around me, form and feature:-- Tattooings, ear-rings, love-locks curled;

Speedway → from Mozipedia: “The detail that Johnny Marr once worked at a speedway in his teens is enough to satisfy some theorists that the song is a coded address to the ex-Smiths guitarist, ignoring the fact that at the time of recording Morrissey and Marr were on cordial terms”. Personally, I don’t agree with this (partial) dismissal. The fact that they were on good terms at the time doesn’t mean that everything between them had necessarily been solved. I’d like to focus on this part, specifically: “I could have mentioned your name / I could have dragged you in / Guilt by implication, by association / I’ve always been true to you / In my own strange way / I’ve always been true to you / In my own sick way / I’ll always stay true to you”. Let’s go back to Billy Budd for a moment: “I said, Billy Budd / I would happily lose both of my legs / Oh, if it meant you could be free”. Free from what, exactly? From expectations? From life itself? Looks like Johnny/Billy Budd had a secret burden weighing down on him, and now onto Speedway: “I could have mentioned your name” in regards to what? “Guilt by implication, by association” so, the burden Johnny/Billy Budd carried was also shared by Morrissey? And what could be so heinous, so scandalous as to require this eternal silent loyalty? Could it be that the relationship between Johnny and Morrissey went deeper than everyone thought or liked to admit? Could it be that they shared a bond which wasn’t just professional or even friendly, but that bordered instead on all-consuming, romantic obsession? He then says that, in his own “strange way”, he’s always been loyal to him. The way he sings it though, putting quite a bit of emphasis on these two specific words, makes me think he’s hinting to Strangeways Here We Come, which both him and Johnny claimed was their best album and also the last one they recorded together. Talking about the song, he said: “I believe in my loyalty which is as developed as possible.” So at the end, when he goes: “In my own sick way / I’ll always stay true to you” it looks like whatever happens, the secret they share is so big and important it has to stay hidden no matter what. Morrissey is reassuring him that, if it ever gets out, it won’t be because of him. “All of the rumours keeping me grounded / I never said, I never said / That they were completely unfounded.” “And all those lies, written lies, twisted lies / Well, they weren’t lies, they weren’t lies, they weren’t lies.” According to Mozipedia: “It was only a decade later that Morrissey ended all further debate by admitting, somewhat flippantly, that the lyrics were ‘probably’ just his way of winding up his detractors at the time.” We all know that Morrissey has been at the center of many a storm throughout his career, but what’s the oldest one, the one that has been the most recurring, the one most journalists seem to always come back to, in the end? His sexuality. His sexual and romantic relationships (or lack thereof). His self-admitted celibacy, right at the beginning of his career, which immediately set him apart from the rest of his colleagues and sparked instant curiosity. The vagueness, the hints, the lack of evidence. Is he gay? Bisexual? Asexual? Or really just hopeless when it comes to human connection? When they don’t have a definite answer, some people invent it, even if it’s just to make things more interesting. So, there you have it. Journalists creating rumours out of thin air just to sell a few more papers. Journalists who encourage endless speculations on the most private aspects of an individual’s life. His lyrics are dissected, his friendships scrutinised just to find that final puzzle piece, the one which will make everyone go: “Ah, finally, there it is! I knew he was!”. But more often than not, Morrissey ends up beating them at their same game. He muddies the waters, he hides his tracks. Many of the songs which people could argue are about Johnny are released as b-sides. Is this really a coincidence? To me, this song represents closure. It’s Morrissey’s way of saying: ‘Look, I know we’ve been through a lot but, no matter what, I will protect you. I won’t rat you out’. At the time, it looked like Morrissey had finally found love with Jake Walters, his driver, and I think most of this record and the stuff he wrote after is about him. But if Johnny was his first real love, then this sounds like the final vent, the definite acknowledgment of what has been, before leaving the past behind for greener pastures.

You Are The Quarry

Never Played Symphonies → B-side of Irish Blood, English Heart, the lyrics are about Morrissey laying on his metaphorical deathbed and looking at all the people who cared about him, but he’s not able to see them because he’s focused on the Never Played Symphonies of the title, which are the people he didn’t get to be with. “You were one, you meant to be one / And you jumped into my face and laughed / And kissed me on the cheek and then were gone forever… not quite”. This is a bit of a reach, but there’s a gif floating around from an old movie of The Smiths backstage in Sheffield in 1984 where Johnny and Morrissey are looking at the camera, then Johnny leans into Morrissey as if he’s about to kiss him on the cheek, but Morrissey raises his hands and points at him, stopping him. I don’t know for sure if he wrote this whole song with Johnny in mind, but that was the first thing I thought upon reading that line. Also, that final “… not quite” becomes significant if you think about their relationship post-Smiths. They spent years not talking to each other, then they made up and were on good terms for a while, then there was the whole Joyce trial and they grew distant once again. But even if Johnny has been gone from Morrissey’s life for quite some time, he has never really gone, if you know what I mean. And he probably never will be, because their shared history is impossible to ignore. The final part: “You were one, you knew you were one / And you slipped right through my fingers / No not literally but metaphorically / And now you’re all I see as the light fades.” makes me think that whatever happened between them, even if it was physical, was mostly felt on Morrissey’s part (it reminds me of that quote in his Autobiography, “It was probably nothing, but it felt like the world”). The reason I think this is about Johnny is that “you’re all I see as the light fades”, as if to say: the light has finally gone out, and now it’s just you.

World Peace Is None Of Your Business

Forgive Someone → a bonus track on the deluxe edition, it sounds like Morrissey’s been reminiscing on past grievances. “Betray you with a sword / I would slit my own throat first of all, I will”. This reminds me of Speedway’s repeated declarations of eternal loyalty. “The black peat of the hills / When I was still ill”. This has to be a reference to The Smiths’ song Still Ill, even though “the black peat of the hills” also reminds me of These Things Take Time: “… and the hills are alive with celibate cries”. It’s like he’s thinking about his late adolescence, when he was lonely and depressed, before Johnny came to save him. “And then recall if you can / How all this even began / Forgive someone”. This looks like Morrissey is asking Johnny to think about how their legacy came to be and to forgive him for any mistakes he made. “Shorts and supports and faulty shower heads / At track and field we dreamt of our beds / In the bleachers you sit with your legs spread, smiling / ‘Here’s one thing you’ll never have’”. I feel like Morrissey’s past car kink has been replaced by a runner kink, especially considering the fact he later wrote List of the Lost, in which the main characters are track runners. The final, repeated “Our truth will die with me” reminds me once again of Speedway’s ending: “In my own sick way, I’ll always stay true to you”. In conclusion, whatever happened between Johnny and him will remain between the two of them, at least until Morrissey is alive.

#the smiths #morrissey #johnny marr #marrissey #this has been quite a ride my dudes #good luck to anyone who decides to read this

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spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia · 5 years

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The Milo Murphy’s Law Wiki Guy AU: Balthazar Cavendish Vs The World: Chapter 1: Prologue: The First Domino Falls

Darkness.

The stage is set.

Lights!

Music!

CURTAIN!

The curtain parts and we are greeted with a big ass title card that states in what can almost be described as a whisper that the year is

2141 The place? Marlborough Lines, Andover, Hampshire, in the United Kingdom. 51° 12′ 32.72″ N, 1° 31′ 17.65″ W.

As we cross non league football grounds, a railway station and a flour mill, we can see a mostly industrial town, in which the clouds are grey, yet cool.

Not your stereotypical English weather here, folks!

In this sort of lifeless small town, rooted in traditional thinking, we approach the very basis of this old timey tree of a town: Marlbourough Lines, the official Army Headquarters of The United Kingdom.

At first glance, the building would seem unimportant to most: Beige walls, multiple green doors, surprisingly miniscule.

In fact, its most striking external feature would be its oddly shaped roof.

Ah, but you see…

It is what inside that is important.

And it is definitely true with Marlborough Lines, and as we enter the doors, the hustle and bustle of Behind The Scenes army management is shown to our curious eyes.

Here you will not see men and women in green practice their shooting, however.

Here, my dear friends, is where we find the minds behind the operations.

Men in dark blue high neck tunics and elaborate headwear shuffle along importantly, discussing matters with a dry, formal air.

Everything, even the most trivial of conversations is gravely important.

Bushy beards and wrinkled faces nod and harrumph, and sounds of hurried typing and fax machine dials reverberate in a light room.

One of these bearded men, a Sergeant Arthur Wilson, former bank clerk from Thetford, Norfolk, currently twiddling his thumbs and pacing agitatedly near a big, wooden brown door, made of the oldest and finest yew, is tasked with a most unenviable errand: Deliver the Chief of the General Staff bad news.

The polished wall clock tick tocked the seconds away, causing more and more sweat to glisten on Sergeant Wilson’s forehead, as he took out a hankerchief to wipe the droplets away.

“Just get it over with, Arthur old boy…”, he told himself, trying to ignore his heart’s desire to leap out and travel the world as a minstrel.

Or a dog show judge. He hadn’t chosen yet.

“You may come in, Sergeant Wilson.”, the gruff yet deathly serious commanding tone of the Chief of the General Staff sounded from within the office out to poor Arthur’s ears.

Arthur gulped, his throat almost croaking like a toad as he edged nervously towards the shiny brass metal door knob.

As he wiped his brow once more, he tried to settle his irate nerves.

“Take it easy, old chap. It’s just routine. Yes, routine.”

He nervously turned the handle.

“Why, you’ve told him this a million times.”

Of course, a small voice inside him couldn’t help but retort “Well, he’s also massacred you every single time you’ve said that.”

But there was no time to dilly dally.

Otherwise Arthur would get massacred twice.

And there were only so many times that could happen in a day.

Arousing last bits of blind courage, Arthur swung the door open wide, entering the office with a frenzy.

“Sir, I have bad news to report!”, he shouted out in attention, saluting the currently turned with his back to him chief.

The office was quite a sight to see: Swarms of medals decorated the walls, maps and diagrams of key hot spots and defensive positions hung on every spot that wasn’t filled with pictures of important people meeting the Chief, and shelves upon shelves of thick, detailed books on military history stood proudly, knowledge practically oozing from their yellowing pages.

However, that was not what caught Arthur’s eyes, and certainly your eyes would agree.

All eyes would and should dart towards the Chief himself, his imposing and towering stature present even when seated.

His back was hunched in thought, but since no one could see his eyes, no one could tell whether said thoughts were stormy or cordial.

One thing for sure: He would not like the news.

And that was immediately apparent in his dark, turquoise eyes that almost cut Arthur to ribbons without a single word.

The rest of the slaughter would be done with his piercing and sharp voice, one that could slice through air like it was… Well, air.

“What… Bad news, Sergeant?”, The Chief asked with a decidedly displeased tone.

Sergeant Wilson took a moment to breath as his voice trembled.

“Well… You see… It’s about… Um… Oh, you know…”

“This never gets easier, does it?”, he thought to himself.

The Chief, his rifle green high neck tunic and monocle now present, stood up, his large form now even more apparent as he strode towards Arthur, each step echoing in the halls of Arthur’s mind.

“In actual fact, Sergeant Wilson, I don’t know. If I did know… The matter would have been resolved long ago.”

His hands crossed behind his back, his head now lowering to meet the meek man below him, The Chief stared him straight in the eyes. The whites of his eyes to be specific.

“Refusing to report under order could lead to serious trouble for you.”, He said with way more than a hint of a threat in his words.

He tugged at the cross adorning Arthur’s chest.

“Would be a real pity if someone as essential as you lost their privilege to serve the Queen’s army over something as trivial as… Bad news.”

His words were loud and clear, and as Arthur gulped one last time, he choked out the message he so feared.

“Understood sir. It’s… It’s about your son, sir.”

The Chief’s composure died alongside Arthur’s words, his monocled eye twitching and his dulcet tones now replaced with rage and frustration.

“You don’t mean…”

He seethed and huffed, slamming the door aside, knocking Arthur down to the ground with a loud thud.

“Back to your duties, Sergeant Wilson!”, The Chief barked as he marched down the hall towards the entrance doors with great intensity.

“I will deal with Balthazar personally!”

As the doors swung wide and the sun invaded the premises, a doozy Arthur weakly saluted from the ground.

“As you wish, Chief Cavendish…”

1. Just seeing that there’s a title and a tagline and that this story is finally happening is magical to me. A friend of mine and I came up with this back in October 2018, and I’ve been adding more and more to it ever since!

2. Believe it or not, back when I was consistently making stories for the wiki, the plan was to post this on December 2018 (preferably Christmas). There would be a sequel (which I hadn’t chosen yet, and would end up becoming WaffleTail’s requested “Is This A Crossover Fanfic?”) and the threequel, “The Question”, was scheduled for Serend’s birthday. As you all know, the reverse happened.

3. Only a few things were clear to me from the start: The title, the plot (at least, parts of it), the villains and the ending. The musical parts were only thought of back in September 2019 after a first viewing of Steven Universe: The Movie left quite the impression!

4. The purple font that stops after Cavendish is on purpose: Purple is the official BI-Sexual color on the LGBTQ+ Flag. It represents his denial. The World is black because most of it (outside of a few close friends) want him to be someone else.

5. I like the intro! The story is written as a movie, a musical and a play, so the whole curtain shebang was fun to add!

6. I must say that another inspiration comes from MelissaFan’s musical about Milolissa! It sparked something in me, so thanks, Colleen!

7. 2141’s green font (that you can't see) is because of Cavendish, and because it felt kind of soft and homely, before everything goes to the shit.

8. Every detail in this one, from the military uniforms to the longitude and latitude to the locations are accurate. Lot’s of research for this one!

9. It was fun writing this chapter! This story HAD to be different to my usual stories, so I spend a lot of time on locations. It feels slower than most of my work, and it was fun to try doing that!

10. It is what inside that is important isn’t very subtle, true.

11. Arthur Wilson is one big “Dad’s Army” reference, and I love him for that!

12. In general, writing this scene was so different! It really feels like nothing we’ve seen before in the AU, which is most of this story. It’s easily the most mature, adult and sad story yet, and it takes us to places we’ve never seen!

13. And we finally see Cavendish’s Dad! He did appear as a ghost in “This Date Must Work” but it is here that is his true debut! He doesn’t feature that much (in fact, once this prologue ends, you won’t see him again until the end), but he is important! His presence is the reason Cavendish is the way he is, and he is arguably the biggest figure in Cavendish’s life!

I’m sure some of you may find this chapter a tad disappointing: Only 1k words? And it’s not even about Cavendish? Yes, I get you. But don’t worry! Not only is this chapter important, it will be continued on Monday, where some REALLY big things happen!

In short: Lil’ Cavendish. Nuff said.

Please share your thoughts on this one! I’d be more than happy to answer all maner of praise, critique and questions you may have! Here, on FF.Net, Ao3 or Tumblr, I’ll take anything!

See ya then!

The Milo Murphy’s Law Wiki Guy.

#milo murphy's law #milo murphy's law fanfic #The Milo Murphy's Law Wiki Guy AU #balthazar cavendish #balthazar cavendish vs the world #spongeguy

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bookdragonlibrary · 5 years

Text

Fourth Friday YJ appreciation

1-3 ; 4-6 ; 7-9 ; 10-13 ; 14-16 ; 17 ; 18 ; 19 ; 20 ; 21 ; 22 ; 23 ; 24-26

—————————— Exceptional Human Beings

- Is this... Batman works with Oracle. It’s the same tech than Nightwing!

- Yes! These is Katana and Metamorpho! I already love Metamorpho facial expressions! The scene from the trailer! Santa Prisca, Bane’s island! They’re so efficient! (Yeah, I have in mind the first time of the Team on the Island...)

- Is it thanks to Jade’s intel? So they will save Tara? :D

- Victor Stone? So this is Dr Silas Stone! I saw the movie, I know Dr Stone wont have time to go... Oh! The Reach tech is back!

- And it’s Steel or John Irons. (Why every person choosing a English name comes with John?)

- Did... did Metamorpho just turn himself into a fart? Seriously? Katana in the background and the indignated face of Metamorpho xD

- Sex implied, definitely mature content... Is it really the time to talk about Dick? You know what I mean... Wait, was that a joke? Like a subtext joke?

- Training Time! Forager’s sounds are so funny!

- Violet fell because she was blushing and Brion uses his powers because he was blushing. They’re cute! :3

- Nightwing definitely knows Batman is on Santa Prisca already and knows Brion will likely get himself killed with his actual combat skills...

- Deathstroke in the place. Oh she’s Cassandra, Savage’s daughter (yeah a lot of Cassandra this season!)

- She knows Tara! Now she’s is used by Granny Goodness... And Cassandra seems to... like her? She is a different character than Scandal (who is lesbian) right? Because I don’t want our first rep to be a pedophilic rapist, thank you very much... We already had Slade for that in Judas Contract...

- “I have observed that.” Definitely thinking about her sister Olympia :(

- Victor’s team! “I would ask Wonder Woman out!” “Me Black Canary” *Vctor rolls his eyes* Are we wasting screentime for straight idiots? (and I mean it in both ways) Just a question: do you think Victor could be gay with his reactions to the “straights comments”?

- “Cisco, a superhero?!” Well, Francisco Ramon will be a superhero one day (but I don’t know his powers yet.) Don’t worry my dear, a lot of people love Zatanna! He’s a Spanish speaker, from where?

- Victor don’t appreciate the bullying but not interfere :( But he’s so above their shit!

- Boo-yah is back! I can’t believe they also gave this easter egg!

- Batman or how burn someone with only words! xD

- “I always hated that name too!” Why don’t you change for you mother name, Arty? :(

- Violet Harper, I love how the writers connect the dots between the comics and what happens on the show!

- JADE! I love how she’s smiling, like she considerates it. We know she would love that. Why could hold her back? How could she think they don’t need her? Because of her father? Football... er I mean soccer is just a lame excuse! She’s crying! She definitely loves them! :’(

- Katana VS Lady Shiva! OMG Katana also uses a wakizashi (a short saber) with her katana like a samouraï :o

- “Bulletproof. That’s annoying” We already know that line but still funny xD So Metamorpho isn’t fireproof? That’s his true form!

- Oracle time!

- “No, no my guns!” Seriously Bane? Metamorpho just blows them a kiss xD

- Booyah! Someone is still using the goggles... Poor Vic :( “I see great things in your future” while showing a FatherBox. I don’t like it... I know the story but still don’t like it...

- Brucely! (Or Bruce Lee?) Such a good boy!

By the way, Katana never talks. She took a vow of silence after her sensei dies.

—————————— Another Freak

- First, I don’t like the title. I dislike even more the wiring from the Reach tech...

- There’s a bad father/son relationship (I mean with fights) each season, isn’t there? “Scene/seen. Now you’re boying me?” I love the dialogue! I know I could hate the wiring... The “dad” at the end broke my heart :’(

- “But Brion Markov’s attitude will soon change! :D” Forager knows what’s going on between those two. Forager is a Haloforce shipper! Human Forager is so cute!! “Be careful on the boys! They only have one thing on their mind!” “What one thing?” *embarassed Brion* “If we arrive with the councelor and the principal, all the other kids will love us!” My poor summer child... “No flying at school!” xD

- After gory Halo, here’s gory Victor :( And here comes the Fatherbox so bad news?

- “I’m so happy to be here it makes me sick” Violet is still dealing with human emotions. Stay whelmed! Or could it be the Fatherbox?

- Is that Terra with blue hair?? And... freckles? (she has the same character design that in the animated movie) Oh she’s Harper Row. My bad. The whole conversation was hilarious and cute!

- Victor’s still alive!

- Of course, access denied. Nightwing knows he would do it. He did it as Robin first! And of course Nightwing appears! And now they’re fighting...but with it Brion could speak his heart out.

- “How they could know us if they don’t interact with us?” I know Forager. Most human are most judgmental at first sight...

- “Are Violet and Fred freaks?” Oh no sweetie don’t think that :( “But Fred must look like a freak...” He refers to his human form. It’s logical. Would you feel like yourself in an alien form? “Freak is cool.” Exactly! “Two hands only” xD

- Victor is freaking out. Naturally. So... he goes... violet when the fatherbox takes control? Like he calls to be heal. So the violet color has a reverse meaning for a fatherbow than for a motherbox, logical as they are the two faces of the same coin.

- Harper is so sweet!

- Whoa new aura: indigo (between blue and violet). So we still don’t know what blue aura does (and black aura, but I’m not sure it exists). What does it do? She opened a Boom tube?

- “I’m not an abomination. I’m a freak.” That’s the spirit. That’s my girl!

- Pleasedon’tmurderhalo! pleasedon’tmurderhalo! Yes! She’s okay!

- She’s healing him! Poor Vic, he’s so confused. “My work here is done.” Violet is so cute!

- Silas trying to find a common thing with Vic is sweet but yeah.. Vic would feel like a rat lab, ask Ed. “Can I go with you?” His voice was so heartbreaking :( Victor prefers to leave to not hurt his father again :( Yeah he’s angry, it’s understanding. At least, he’s alive right?

- Kind of ironic they boomed tube in a football field...

- Brion is finally moving forward! :D

- Lobo’s finger begins to morph. Slobo on the way!

—————————— Nightmare Monkeys

- Tork from Mars, seriously? xD M’Comm should be so pissed...

Was that the Wilhelm scream?

- “I have practice” My heart :(

- it’s Paul who played Conner in Hello Megan! What time had done to you? Gar’s look when they talked about Marie :( Paul is his godfather! And Rita his godmother. Steven is his stepfather? That means he was with Rita, right? He’s Mento? “Thanks God.” I think they both don’t like the situation but still try to play their part...

- I don’t know if this seashell alien is real or just a costume...

- We were right! Halo IS a Motherbox! What happen to the script? Now we can predict things :( She’s... the reincarnation of the dead Motherbox Doctor X and Psimon studied. So Queen Bee works with Vertigo, since Psimon works for Quee Bee. So Gabrielle Daou consciousness died, murdered by Bedlam’s minions and the Motherbox soul regenerates/resurected in her body because she needed a vessel. But Violet still has some of Gabrielle’s memories via the brain, but maybe not her thoughts or emotions?

- I love the Emerald Crown teasing! Was Gar talking about his mother(s) when he said queen? That needle doesn’t seem good...

- “And now he tells you to be patient...” xD

Sphere, stay whelmed! And... the Fatherbow is awake again... And... Conner is shirtless again... Halo has clearly no idea what she’s doing. So cute she calms Sphere down :)

- So that doesn”t sound good... Encino, what/where that could be?

- “He’s dead, Tom.” What that the voice of... WALLY??? And all the dead heroes in the grotto... I mean Watchtower garden.

- Great! Supermartian know how to communicate now :) “Alone time” Weren’t you have a “intimate” time in a bathroom two episodes ago? “Date night/Secret base” Yeah Wolf me too. They got the communication, not the understanding...

- “The Reach... I mean the Klamulons” seriously?

- Tula, Ted Kord, Jason, was that the chronological order? I thought Ted was the last one. That’s why in season Tim went to Jason’s hologramme. Ted Kord died during the Summer break and they were in February. So Tim was a really young Robin!

- Wally speaks to casually about their death. “Who’s next? Guess it’s me.” Does that mean he’s not dead yet? But could soon be? Wally’s death scene reminds me how good the previous style was... RIP too! “Cancel the show already?” I heard the 4th wall break down.

- DOOM PATROL GO! WHAT’S THE HECK?The 4th wall is collapsing in a firy explosion.

- Garfield also collapsed. AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Rita Aka Elasticgirl with Starfire’s voice. Chief with Robin’s voice. Robotman with Cyborg’s voice (more like Cyborg’s father xD), Negative Woman with Raven’s voice.

- Steve Dayton is indeed Rita’s husband; So Rita adopted Garfield when Marie died? She did!

- “Sorry your mom(s?) died!” The song. “Just say goodbye to your second mom!” Rita and Marie were together? Was Rita bi/pan? “Let’s die!”

- Of course M’gann save the day, back with her season 1 appearance. The whole Mento’s speech is how Gar sees the situation right? Not the truth right? “I was 14.” Wait, all of this (except Marie’s death) only happen last year?

- M’gann is there to save her brother!

“Sure you’re even born yet?” This joke could also work with Bart. Man, if Bart was in that episode...

- “Queen Bee wants her honey back!” That was a lesbian joke right? The first rep of this season would be Queen Bee? Being Bi? (Why in English bi is pronounced like by and not bee? Do you see the missed joke here?)

- “Let’s watch the episode you were in.” Season 2. The pieces of the 4th wall break again.

- “Shut it down.” “I can’t hear a heartbeat.” He meant the channel, not the heart, Wally. Wait, was it a death wish because Gar can’t handle with all the mourning happening in a few minutes?

- Reminder: Beast Boy’s metagene was activated by Martian transfusion and a bite from a green monkey.

- Mass conservation? Is it a clue for Wally’s return? Like his mass was conserved somewhere when he was desintegrated? A place where he can save Garfield from the Goggles? How can Gar remember Wally’s death if he wasn’t even there?! But he appears as the green monkey to show a parallel? Between the monkey and blood transfusion saving him and Wally saving him now?

- Come back as a hero my boy!

- “Are you real or is this all in my head?” Ask Dumbledore, kid.

- M’gann is in the place! White but with a green aura.

- Yes, I think it was a distraction to cope with all the trauma.

- “Ready to get back to reality. Ready to get back to the life.” hero life? It was both litteral and metaphorical.

- Perdita who don’t understand the Team’s slang :) Gar, did you teach anything to her?

- Garfield finally understand that Gretchen is a bad guy. But it feels off as we already know it. The Evolution episode should have happen after this I think?

- Emerald Crown is so cute! Their kiss was ok, but why M’gann are you doing the same in front of your brother?

- Haloforce kiss! After we finally understand who Violet is! But I would like to see the moment which brings to the kiss :(

- Sphere!

- Of course Wally won’t come back until part b or even the end of the season, will he?

—————————— True Heroes

- It’s Halloween! Halo and Forager are adorable as usual.

- Poor Vic :( Halloween cancel and Violet can’t come :( Forager drives bioship xD (Such a weird sentence...)

- Tara is 15, same age than Bart and Gar.

- Dr Jace had a little girl. who was taken from her. Was she meta? It’s thay why she started to work with Bedlam? To have intel to find her? Or did Bedlam blackmail her to make her work for him? That’s why she’s is so overprotecting with the kids?

- “You’re be my little girl for tonight.” That sounds creepy, right?

- “I know I said pretend I’m not here but I’m.” Yeah, Dr Jace, maybe not the best way to explain where the teenager hormones lead to...

- “Vulnerable” weaks the Fatherbox up. Great. And it’s because she is vulnerable, Dr Jace tries to be closer?

- Cameron (Icycle Jr) and the Terror Twins grew up so much... And not in a good way. I miss the Twins’ design in season 1. They get uglier each season, bad guy cliche. But Tommy could be the Bad Blue Beetle from Bart’s future, they have quite the same morphology and Queen Bee sold Chimmer to the Reach, why not him too?

- Holocaust?

- Wolf attacking the Fatherrbox.

Dr Jace just took a violet ray and if they’re like Halo’s yellow one she should be badly injured... Not just inconscious.

- Emotions turn off Halo’s powers? They just activated them!

- Earth VS FIre. Terra lost :(

- Stay Whelmed, Brion!

- Psimon out! Wait, did just Devastation called him baby?

- Tara is free!

- And Holocaust is with a Queen Bee’s minions.

- Family reunion!

- YJ is now a scary movie. Maybe it’s just panic which shut down Halo’s powers? Fight Vic! “The problem is I had too much.” So it was panic. Now save him!

- Yeah, go save the other kids!

- The conversation between Junior and SB is so chill (no pun intended) and funny. “She was my girl.” “But I was into her.” Dudes, it’s not a competition or a race, just let the girl decide maybe?

- “Maybe that means there’s hope for me too!” Redeem arc foreshadowing?

- “Ow.” Junior plays dead.

- Can we appreciate SB’s combat style?

- Princess speech!

- The Black girl speaks French? Who they could be? Anita?

- League and Team squads were successful” I wish we could have seen them :(

- Dr Jace activated Tara’s metagene on the blackmailing to kill her :o

- Princess speech! :D

- Violet cry of joy is so cute! :)

- “M’gann’s gonna kill me.” xD

- Wait, why is Dr Jace taking Violet’s, hair?

- “They’re ready for the Team!” We’re gonna go our children back! But maybe give Tara some rest?

- “I’m in.” So we go for the Judas Contract storyline? Or that is a mislead?

- Wolf in the Bioship!

5 months to wait now :(

#young justice #YJ reviews #watch young justice outsiders #watch young justice

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finding-jericho-blog · 6 years

Note

6, 10, 15, 16, 17, 30, 35 (u already know which good bean :’) ), 54 ❤️

THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE YOU

6. Favorite character you ever created.I have a lot of characters that are dear to my heart; I have a soft spot for them, especially because I created them when I was young and I’ve had them all these years, but they aren’t… GOOD characters by my (or anyone’s really) standards, so I don’t use them. I love by DBH oc Aurora, she’s a good little android babbu, feel free to ask me about her sometime, I love my other DBH oc Grace, though I had a falling out with the writer I was role playing her with so.. I kind of have a bad taste in my mouth about her at the moment. I love my Boku No Hero Academia oc Mitsuko!! She’s freakin rad??? But I THINK my favorite… has to be Bree.

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.Um, I PICK YOU! Let’s write a DBH sequel! >:D

15. Where does your inspiration come from?Pretty much all of my inspiration comes from the various movies, shows, games, etc. that I’m into. It’s just so inspiring to see these fleshed out worlds and the characters that live there and that’s what aspire to do, to tell interesting stories with wonderful, life-like characters that people can REALLY get behind!

16. Where do you take your motivation from?I mostly take it from my own enjoyment! That’s kind of obvious though, because this is what I enjoy doing, and if I didn’t, I.. wouldn’t do it? XD But knowing other people enjoy what I do FOR FUN is really motivating, so that’s a big part of it!

17. On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?Depends on what I’m writing! If I’m working on d e v i a n t s (Lauren’s and I’s role play), then upwards of 3,000! For Empathy or Same Difference, it really depends, but.. I’d say around 2,000 before I quit for the day.

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.What a terribly cruel way to catch deviants, she thought, to lure them into a false sense of security with such a kind and sincere looking face. She wanted to trust him; that was the worst part.

This was so hard to pick but… this line is from a role play with my character Aurora; she’s a WE900, designed to keep the company of high school and college students, so she’s kind of… just a kid, and Connor and the DPD has her cornered her; if she makes a run for it, they will definitely shoot her down and kill her right on the spot, and Connor, who is beginning to show signs of deviancy himself, holds his hand out and begs her to just go with him quietly and he’ll make sure they don’t kill her; not here, anyway. He begs her to trust him, and she wants to, so badly.

Unfortunately, this role play went nowhere and the partner stopped logging in, otherwise it would have been fun to explore a sort of.. brotherly/sisterly relationship between Connor and Aurora!

35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story BREE.Hoh boy okay, hopefully people don’t mind me talking about Bree since she’s kind of a “cliche” and there are some minor changes to canon you and I decided on to make this work. Aubree Kamski is the daughter of Elijah, she was born at a time where Elijah was at his busiest, right on the verge of discovering Thirium 310; he wasn’t even there for her birth, and afterwards her mother just kind of fucked off to who knows where. Some of his associates at CyberLife actually took care of her until he finally successfully created Chloe, who then not only became his personal assistant, but became Bree’s surrogate mother. They made sure Bree made no mistake in thinking Chloe was her mother, though, and from an early age she realized that Chloe didn’t (couldn’t) actually LOVE her; she was just a machine. Despite the general lack of affection in her life, Bree always did what she was told, and a friend of Elijah’s, Carl Manfred, once said that she was the saddest, most lifeless child he’d ever seen and berated his friend for treating her like one of his creations. The only time Bree can remember Elijah actively trying to be part of her life was when he was teaching her things about his androids and his company (he assumed she would take his place one day), and studying her behavior for the purpose of creating the ‘perfect child’ android; for that reason, Bree has a soft spot for the children models, as if they are little siblings. The day she turned 18, Bree pretty much said fuck this shit I’m out and left, and hasn’t spoken to Elijah since, despite Chloe’s continual attempts to make contact. Basically, she was tired of being his show pony and got fed up with being the perfect daughter, but she didn’t go buck wild or anything; Bree just lived quietly on her own and spent most of her days sitting in a local cafe reading whatever book she could get her hands on. Due to her general mistrust of people, who were (in her eyes) only ever nice to her to get to her father, Bree never really made 'friends’ with anyone except the barista at this cafe, an android named Ross. One day, however, a certain violent WR400 thought it would be a wonderful idea to try and use her as leverage to make Elijah admit to the masses that androids are awake and aware…

50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.Okay, bear with me on this one, because I saved this in my notes when I’d gone 24 hours without sleep and it might not make any sense! X’D

When especially cruel people die, they turn into dragons for a second chance; it’s a curse, they are turned into the worst, most fearsome creatures, they cannot speak, and can only do their best to make up for whatever wrong they did. These dragons have a gemstone imbedded in their chest and their color scheme is based around that gem?? Kind of like steven universe I guess fuck me anyway the more acts of genuine kindness, the smaller a dragon is. So in other words, a HUGE dragon is incredibly cruel. But the bigger they are, the easier they are to kill, and the smaller they are, the more hardy they are.

When the dragon is very small, one more act of genuine kindness reduces them to only their gemstone thing, which depends on the returned act of kindness of people around them the take it to some temple or whatever for it to be concentrated. They can either chose to move on and release their spirits, or return to their previous human forms. If the human who finds their gem and is not kind, the gem can be crafted into a necklace/other jewlery and that person can USE that necklace to turn into a dragon, themselves?? idk

Also if a dragon is killed, they leave behind their gemstone as well and their spirits cannot move on, these gems can also be used to create necklaces, BUT. the spirit of the dragon can possess the wearer and turn THEM into a dragon???

#asks #deviantramblings #friends #<3 #this was so much writing omg #was still fun tho #xD

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pencopanko · 6 years

Text

I was tagged by my dear friend who sadly lives way too far for me to send a whole box of mineral water (HAVE YOU DRUNK SOME TODAY) @fedecolombo to answer this questionnaire/interview thingy.

Now, I'm not so sure whether those who are tagged previously can tag anyone but as for today let's not tag anyone directly. I think a lot of us have gotten too full thanks to the God-forsaken 11-question hell (；・∀・)

Anyways, let's do this!

Let’s start easy. Favourite colour?

Definitely soft shades of pink! I actually love all colours but soft pink is my favourite.

Describe yourself?

I am a 20-year-old human being who is basically just BS-ing their way through life but is still trying their best because the thing is none of us know when Death will come knocking on one's door so yeah. I'm currently majoring in Japanese Studies and it's been fun for the most part! I also go with both "she/her" and "they/them" so pick whichever you feel rolls better off your tongue.

I also draw sometimes and I am in need of a nap. I also think instant mac and cheese is gross.

Ok, here’s another round with a slighlty different take on the previous question, what would your bio say? You can copy-paste it here if you already have one ready.

I am a 20-year-old person who draws things sometimes. I still need a nap.

Nickname/s? Explain the story behind it/them.

Here I go with Penco. But in real life I go with either Pen/P.N. or my actual first name, Putri. My nickname is based on my initials (P.N.) because if you say it fast enough it becomes "pen". Back in high school there was a girl who also went with that name (Putri is a very basic Indonesian name for girls) so in order for us to not get switched around I decided to use my initials as a nickname. It has stuck ever since.

I just added -co and the Japanese suffix -kun because I like the sound of them. Also because I think the suffix -chan is overrated.

What are your favourite films/shows? Do tell why.

Films: Coco (obviously), Mulan (she's a total badass and the soundtrack is awesome), Sherina's Adventure (a classic Indonesian musical starring Sherina Munaf and it's an absolute treat), Cinderella (my favourite classic Disney Princess movie because the colours are just so beautiful), Bambi (the character design and the music hooked me in), Lady & The Tramp (the movie has what I consider as the most realistic romance in any Disney movie), Sunny Boy & Dewdrop Girl (a very cute Japanese animated short-movie with amazing visuals), and In This Corner Of The World (it's rather slow-paced but the music, the story, and the characters are wonderful).

Shows: Steven Universe (the character design may not be consistent but it's still really good, the music is wonderful, and the characters are really interesting), Love Live! Sunshine!! (I prefer this over the previous series as the characters are more developed and the music is great too), Shouwa and Genroku-era Lover's Suicide Through Rakugo (easily my all-time favourite josei anime, this show got me hooked by the first episode with its voice-acting, super complex characters, music, and the rakugo performances), We Bare Bears (simple but very heartfelt and funny with great music to boot, these things are what make me feel happy whenever I watch it), Class of 3000 (THE MUSIC IS EXCELLENT PLEASE WATCH IT IF YOU LIKE FUNK), and so much more!

Since you’re obviously into Coco, tell me something about it.

How about a story?

Okay so mY FRIEND AND I WERE WATCHING IT AND WHEN THE TWIST CAME ON SCREEN SHE GRABBED MY LEFT ARM ＨＡＲＤ AND SHOOK IT AND IT HURT

Also because of that scene I legit had a nightmare where ERNESTO KIDNAPPED ME AND MY FAMILY ALONG WITH THE KIDS FROM STRANGER THINGS

The latter group escaped without helping us. I woke up in cold sweat because Ernesto found out that my mom and I were planning our escape. It felt like Iblis was watching me.

Anyway, the movie is an absolutely beautiful movie and I dare say it's Pixar's magnum opus so far. Although I am by no means Hispanic, I feel so happy to have Mexican culture to be represented so beautifully. I am definitely going to share my love for it to my future family.

Favourite me these too: musical instrument/sport/country/person/historical figure/animal.

Musical instruments: piano, melodica aka pianica aka blow-organ, recorder (if played right), violin, saxophone, trumpet, and guitar.

Sport: I'm pretty bad at sports but I do like playing badminton. I also like aikido but I have yet to go back to the dojo sooo

Person: Secret~ :3c Nah joke, I love my mom the most

Historical figure(s): Abu Hurairah (one of Prophet Muhammad's (pbuh) companions), Umar bin Khattab (the second Caliphate), Socrates, and Hasanuddin of Gowa. I forgot to add these: Anne Frank, Malala Yousafzai, and Cut Nyak Dien.

Do you prefer paper or digital books? Say why.

Easily physical books, especially for school books. It just feels nice to hold and it's always good to be able to write important notes and doodle on it. But digital books are convenient too!

What’s your dream job/life/more dreams?

I would like to have a job that allows me to stay at home to do my work so basically being a freelance illustrator. I don't think I would survive working an office job unless it's something I actually am interested in. It'd be nice to be a researcher of some sort too.

Let’s get down to business. How’s your type? If you want a type, that is.

A man who is kind and good with children, bonus props if he can cook and appreciate art and corny jokes. I already have someone in mind but I don't have the courage to tell since it might ruin both our reputations.

What’s your ideal first date scenario? And if you’d marry, what’s your ideal marriage proposal? And while we’re at it, would you want children from/in this marriage?

An ideal date will be just us having fun anywhere we go, really. Ideally at an amusement park but even a department store will do (we can grab cheap snacks along the way). A picnic is nice too! A movie date is also great, as long as the movie is interesting and is not a romance movie. Maybe trying new foods?

I prefer simple marriage proposals but if my future husband has something planned I won't mind as long as it doesn't hurts his wallet too much. But it'd be great if it later becomes a funny memory to look back on. That way we can joke about it too. And yes, I'd love to have children. But at the same time I'm scared of hurting them in any way. But you never know, right?

Let’s get deep. What are you looking for?

Some peace and quiet.

Do you believe in God/are you religious/have any beliefs? You might have noticed that I’m not sure how to put this question at all.

Yes, actually! I'm a Muslim and proud of it!

Given that I’m not even sure what people mean with “aesthetic”, what’s yours?

Everyday stuff: Soft bed with extra fluffy white pillows, non-alcoholic drinks whether they're hot or not, music of any genre (except loud EDM and metal), snacks, books and comics and stationeries scattered on the bed, white walls, paint stains on clothing, simple makeup, long hijab, a mix of pastel, natural, and dark/cool colours.

Outside: A green meadow, dandelions and coat buttons, clear blue skies, birds tweeting from a distance, and a camera filled with pictures of flowers and other things in nature.

What makes you happy/sad/angry/guilty/be over the moon?

Happy: A lot of things, really. They include things like a butterfly fluttering to and fro, a cat I see on the street, people being nice to each other, good music, good food, and genuine laughter.

Sad: A lot of things but I prefer not to talk about them.

Angry: Not much but usually bullies, people who ignore their families for the sake of work, and people who give up way too easily without even trying.

Over the moon: Finals being over, a surprise trip to Disneyland, being in a really fancy museum/art gallery/library, having time for myself, a perfect batch of cookies, and seeing people liking what I create.

What do you like the most and what do you hate the most about yourself?

I like that I can draw and like a good variety of music without sticking to one genre only.

I hate that I tend to fall in love with people easily at the most inconvenient of times, regardless of gender (but since I'm still a Muslim, I would rather marry a man so). It's extremely inconvenient to be having a crush on someone, especially if you have other more important things to worry about like school and a con you're supposed to attend.

What are you most grateful for?

Being alive, to be honest.

What’s your biggest fear?

I fear of hurting people in any way. I'm a person who forgives at the drop of a hat but whenever I get angry at somebody I suddenly have very violent thoughts and say extremely mean things. This is another reason why I don't have too many friends; the less people I know, the less people I hurt.

I also have a fear of sewer rats.

What’s the biggest achievement of your life so far?

Making it past twenty.

Are there people you’d like to meet?

Lots! I really want to meet the people I've gotten to know in the Coco fandom and I also want to meet my closest friends too!

Do you have a bucket list? Please elaborate.

The most important thing for me is to go to Mecca for Pilgrimage before I die.

To see a ballet recital/a (Broadway) musical at least once.

To finally become an illustrator.

To grow old enough to at least see my (great) grandchildren enter college.

What’s the biggest learning experience of your life?

Living in Hong Kong and seeing different cultures and knowing different people from different countries. That and also joining a national-level Muslim organization for two years.

What are you most excited about your life right now?

I don't know, really. I'm just excited to live, i guess.

Give me a secret? Or something funny, I don’t know. Give me something.

What do you call a fake musician who killed his friend and later travelled around the world by boat?

Ernesto de la Cruise

And lastly, what’s your spirit animal?

Definitely a cat. Just like cats I like taking naps.

Whew, we're done! This is a long post, indeed. But it's still fun nonetheless!

#fun facts about yours truly #penco rambles #yupyupyup

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punk-rock-pixie · 6 years

Note

1-100

I need to be careful what I ask for lmao

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify

is your room messy or clean?

It’s messy rn just cuz I was looking for something

what color are your eyes?

Hazel

do you like your name? why?

Yeah. Picked it myself.

what is your relationship status?

single

describe your personality in 3 words or less

Really McFuckin Gay

what color hair do you have?

Black and blue

what kind of car do you drive? color?

Grey chevy cruz

where do you shop?

I’m a slut for Barns and Noble lately. Dropped $60 on classic ghost stories, Norse Mythology, and a Deathly Hallows journal. I’ve dropped over $100 literally in the last two months on books. I don’t work anymore though so that won’t be a thing anymore

how would you describe your style?

Sad college kid chic

favorite social media account

Youtube

what size bed do you have?

Queen

any siblings?

One older sister.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

The Nordic region. They’ve been doing so much right in terms of education and gender equality.

favorite snapchat filter?

The anime one

favorite makeup brand(s)

NYX, E.L.F. and Bare Essentials

how many times a week do you shower?

I shower every other day, but I wash my hair like every 3-4 days to keep the color in.

favorite tv show?

Currently, really love trollhunters.

shoe size?

Like a 7 in mens or something

how tall are you?

5′6.5″ The half is so important to me because I’ve hardly grown since 2012

sandals or sneakers?

Trick question- no shoes at all. Our feet get hurt like men.

do you go to the gym?

Rarely, but yes.

describe your dream date

Dear god. Almost any date I’d be okay with. Coffee? Sign me the fuck up. Hang around a park/go on a walk? Lemme get my heckin sneakers. Cryptid hunting in the wee hours of the night? You just won my heckin heart buddy.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

Like $30-$40 I think????

what color socks are you wearing?

None sock

how many pillows do you sleep with?

Too many for my own good.

do you have a job? what do you do?

Not anymore :)))) There weren’t enough hours.

how many friends do you have?

How many friends? Many. How many close ones? Like 3-4

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

Something I’d rather not say.

whats your favorite candle scent?

Lavender always but peppercorn and pumpkin are the ones I’ve been using lately.

3 favorite boy names

Marshal

Ethan (NOT BECAUSE OF NESTOR)

Quinn

3 favorite girl names

Rose

Sadona

Rickie

favorite actor?

Always and forever Chris Evans, but also Hugh Jackman found his way back to my heart recently. The Rock, Ramin Karimloo, Sean Gunn, Michael Rooker

favorite actress?

Zoe Saldana, Zendaya, Melissa McCarthy, Allison Janney, Julie Andrews, Maryl Streep.

who is your celebrity crush?

See above two questions, but mainly Hugh Jackman, Chris Evans, and Zendaya

favorite movie?

If you couldn’t tell, I’m hyperfixating on Greatest Showman, but also Book of Life, Monster in Paris, 1937 Phantom of the Opera

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

My favorite book is Dracula currently, but I also love Dodie Clark’s “secrets for the mad”, most of Shakespeare’s plays and Edgar Alan Poe’s works

money or brains?

Brains.

do you have a nickname? what is it?

I have way to many dude.

how many times have you been to the hospital?

Like 7-8 I think???

top 10 favorite songs

In no order:

-I’m counting all of greatest showman as one

-Cat Stevens: Father and Son

-Raspberries: Go all the way

-Silver: Wham Bam Shang a Lang

-Babeo Baggins: Thunder Bird

-Dodie Clark: You

-Beatles: Wanna Hold Your Hand

-Vanessa Paradis and Sean Lennon: La Seine

-Dear Evan Hansen: For Forever

-Karen O: Moon Song

do you take any medications daily?

No but I should probably get back on them.

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

Normal to oily

what is your biggest fear?

Abandonment :) Also I have claustrophobia

how many kids do you want?

I mean if we’re talking baby goats, as many as I can afford.

whats your go to hair style?

I kinda just brush my hair back and hope for the best

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

It’s not a mansion, but it’s pretty big

who is your role model?

@thatsthat24

what was the last compliment you received?

From @mild-soapog something about how I deserve a wholesome life and honestly I just love Elle???

what was the last text you sent?

“Hey, how are you feeling?” to a former coworker

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

I grew up Jewish so I never really thought it.

what is your dream car?

I don’t really care tbh. I’m pretty happy with the one I have.

opinion on smoking?

You do you just not around me cuz I will cough like a mad man.

do you go to college?

Soon

what is your dream job?

Professional film or stage actor or singer/guitarist in a band

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

suburbs

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Nope. I’m a good noodle.

do you have freckles?

Several

do you smile for pictures?

Yes, but only after make a bunch of stupid faces

how many pictures do you have on your phone?

659

have you ever peed in the woods?

Yes and uh 4/5 would not recommend

do you still watch cartoons?

Yup

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Neither.

Favorite dipping sauce?

hek dude idk

what do you wear to bed?

Usually like a tank top and underwear. if it’s super cold I’ll wear sweats too

have you ever won a spelling bee?

Have I ever even competed in one????

what are your hobbies?

Guitar, singing, ukulele, drawing, writing poetry

can you draw?

I’d say so

do you play an instrument?

Check hobbies with the addition of bass guitar

what was the last concert you saw?

I think it was a Beatles tribute band???

tea or coffee?

Both

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Starbucks

do you want to get married?

Honestly, first let me find someone local that will love me for more than 4 months

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

HJ, EJ, EN.

are you going to change your last name when you get married?

You mean… IF I get married

what color looks best on you?

Blacks and purples

do you miss anyone right now?

Several people

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

usually closed

do you believe in ghosts?

Yes and no???

what is your biggest pet peeve?

chewing with your mouth open, snoring, pen clicking, leg jiggling (if it’s in my peripheral vision)

last person you called

My crush actually. He and I are friends and I asked if we wanted me to hang with him after school since he had to stay up until I had my callback scheduled

favorite ice cream flavor?

Chocolate chip cookie dough and cookies and cream

regular oreos or golden oreos?

What the shit are golden oreos

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

Rainbow cuz I’m queer

what shirt are you wearing?

A black tank top

what is your phone background?

a greatest showman wallpaper

are you outgoing or shy?

it depends on the situation

do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yes but ONLY IF THEY ASK BEFORE HAND.

do you like your neighbors?

I don’t even know my neighbors

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Both

have you ever been high?

nope

have you ever been

Nope

last thing you ate?

Like half a pizza

favorite lyrics right now?

Idk my favorite currently, but these are the ones that keep circling my head

“When the world becomes a fantasyAnd you’re more than you could ever be‘Cause you’re dreaming with your eyes wide openAnd you know you can’t go back againTo the world that you were living in'Cause you’re dreaming with your eyes wide open

So Come alive”

summer or winter?

Winter

day or night?

Night

dark, milk, or white chocolate?

All????

favorite month?

October-November

what is your zodiac sign

Scorpio

who was the last person you cried in front of?

Honestly, I have no fuckin clue lmaooooo

#pixie interrogation #punkrockpixie #anonymous

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deadcactuswalking · 4 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: SEASON THREE (29th December 2019)

There are ten songs in this top 40 that are not Christmas songs. There are 30 holiday singles in one chart, for the first time ever. That is one quarter of the chart left that isn’t festive in some capacity. I know I said last week was the Christmas episode, Christmas chart, Christmas special, or whatever, but the post-Christmas week, the first week of the next year, in this case 2020 (The end-of-year chart will soon be released in full), will always include Christmas tracking and hence have more songs. Therefore, you could argue that last week’s #1 isn’t the true Christmas #1. I’d disagree because out of the two #1s, it is the only one that made an evident campaign for the spot, although the campaign for the second #1 is only not evident out of sheer falsity, so it really is an open question. Despite that, I’ll say that for the sake of REVIEWING THE CHARTS, “I Love Sausage Rolls” by LadBaby is the Christmas #1 for 2019. In an awful twist of fate, however, that song is now at #57. Not even LadBaby’s last #1 dropped that far on its second week. I apologise for the third season’s first episode being complete shambles, but the events kind of called for a switch of the format. We have one non-Christmas song in the top 10. It would be unwise to talk about the rest of the top 10 as it’s overwhelmingly more relevant to the Christmas section, hence I present to you 2019’s final edition of:

IT’S CHRISTMAS INNIT

Top 10 (9?)

The #1 is Ellie Goulding’s “River”, up 10 spaces, with its only festive justification other than its vague Wintry content being the fact that it’s #1 on Christmas. It’s her third #1 and first since 2015, and the last #1 of the decade – or the first #1 of the 2020s decade. You decide. Goulding’s Joni Mitchell cover was an Amazon exclusive existing purely to push UK sales for a cheap #1, as Goulding’s increasingly irrelevant music would not get to #1 that easily, especially a fluke Christmas single that I have never heard, and don’t care to. I wouldn’t like to believe this is the true #1 but unfortunately it is, narrowly beating Mariah Carey, who has been steadily at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 for three weeks now, as her more deserving classic, “All I Want for Christmas is You”, is at #2 after a six-spot boost. Why isn’t it #1 in the UK, you ask? Greedy record labels vying for worthless chart spots that mean frankly nothing other than to boost the visibility of irrelevant acts that they want to cling onto for dear life so they can get a check, that’s why. Sorry, I’m way too passionate about this, I’ll just move on. Um, “Last Christmas” by WHAM! is up two to #5, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl is up 10 to #4, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens is also up 10 to #6, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid is up 10 to #7, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John is up 10 to #8. Now for our second bloody Amazon exclusive, arguably the more egregious, “Happy Christmas (War is Over)” by John Legend, up 23 to #9. Seemingly this song was made for not only false chart points but also because of the novelty of John Legend covering a song by John Lennon. Well, I can’t find a reason to cover this song other than that, as making it an Amazon exclusive goes directly against Lennon’s thoughts on commercialism, and surely making a protest song about the Vietnam war meant to raise awareness about the destruction war causes to innocent civilians a cheap cash-grab would kind of soil the reputation of Mr. John Legend over here... and I don’t even like “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”. It’s a pretentious slog on its own and it certainly did not need a rendition from one of the duller R&B singers to come out of the 2000s. Curiously both Goulding and Legend have ties to Universal Music Group. Sigh, well at #10, we have “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard, up 19 spaces. That’s a better song.

Climbers

Let’s blast through this with no room for anger or dilly-dallying: “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé is up 13 to #11, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande is up 15 to #13, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis is up 10 to #15, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia is up 19 to #17, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee is up 14 to #18, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade is up 12 to #19, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson is up 12 to #21, and that’s all. That doesn’t sound like 30 Christmas songs at all, right? That’s just 16. Well...

Returning Entries & New Arrivals

These kind of blend together at Christmas; I’m never sure if the song already peaked years or decades ago, and I’m just none the wiser towards any of it, or it’s never gotten this high into the top 40 before. I had to check the Christmas specials for 2018-2019 to see what songs I’ve covered before. I actually found out I’ve already covered “Underneath the Tree”, so I didn’t actually need to talk about that one a week or two ago, but my opinion had changed so I think it’s time well spent. If I accidentally cover a song twice, I honestly don’t care, but here are the returning entries I’ve already talked about: “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney is back at #37, “Stay Another Day” by East 17 is at #35, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love is at #33, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby is at #31, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Boys Choir or something to that effect is at #28, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber is at #27, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams is at #25, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea is at #24 and “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry is at #22. I know I technically didn’t “review” that last song per se since it wasn’t on streaming services at the time but it’s utter plastic garbage so there’s no benefit in doing so. Here are the songs I do have to review.

#39 – “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” – Dean Martin

Produced by Lee Gillette – Peaked at #12 in Canada and #15 in the US

This really could have just been called “Let it Snow”, right? Regardless, this is actually one of my favourite more traditional Christmas songs, although this is still pretty recent, being a 1959 rendition of a song written by Sammy Cahn in 1945, simply because it was a heat wave in July that year so he teamed up with composer Jule Styne in Hollywood to make a song imagining, in fact almost begging, for colder weather. Despite how controversial Martin’s cover of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” has become, he really still is a talented singer who couldn’t get that song’s framing just right. Here, he seems more in his element and despite no reference to the holiday season, since it’s snow, people just kind of lump it in with more festive hits, especially on radio. I think I generally prefer this sweet, orchestral tint Martin’s producer gave to the composition, and the strings here sound really great, despite that vague drum beat not needing to be there, as it’s honestly quite stiff. I would have preferred this without much percussion at all actually. It’s less than two minutes, so it doesn’t overstay its welcome, which is one issue I have with Frank Sinatra’s decidedly un-Christmassy version, which just sounds really ugly to me today, with its squealing brass section and twee backing singers. The bridge is especially awkward. So, yeah, I prefer Martin’s version here, although I’d like to shout out Rod Stewart’s version as well while I’m on the topic. It was actually a pretty big adult contemporary hit in 2012. Go figure. It’s actually pretty sweet albeit simplistic and I don’t even like Rod Stewart, so check that one out too.

#34 – “Sleigh Ride” – The Ronettes

Produced by Phil Spector – Peaked at #17 in Hungary and #21 in the US

I swear I’ve covered this one before, but I couldn’t find it, so uh, I like the horse neighing. “Sleigh Ride” was also composed by Leroy Anderson during a heat wave in 1948, which is an interesting coincidence. The Ronettes sound okay, but the focus was never their voice. It was Phil Spector’s Wall of Sound production, as this appeared on his Christmas album. His production is maximalist and has a massive, vibrant, colourful sound to it... supposedly. I see it in some of his other work, but this song just sounds garbage. Everything feels concentrated to the centre of the mix and it renders as sludge to me, especially when the freaking strings come in. Does this have to be three minutes also? It’s just immensely boring and goes in one ear, out the other, unlike those second-degree murder convictions... you sick, sick man. Merry Christmas, everyone!

#32 – “Holly Jolly Christmas” – Michael Bublé

Nah, screw the production and chart info. I don’t care. It’s Michael Bublé, what do you expect me to say? It’s bland radio fluff white man capitalism whatever. Here are the lyrics to “Re-Rewind (The Crowd Say Bo Selecta)” by Artful Dodger and Craig David.

[Intro: Craig David]

Re-rewind

Enter, selecta

Ehh, yeah

Ehh, eh yeah

Ehh, yeah

Ehh

Enter, selecta

[Verse: Craig David]

Making moves, yeah, on the dance floor

Got our groove on dancing yeah, real hard core

From the front to the back that's where I was at

You know, you know, the Artful Dodger do it like that

With Craig David all over your (boing)

DJ it's all up to you

When the crowd go wild

Tell me, whatcha gonna do

[Chorus: Craig David]

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Bo Bo

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind

This goes out to all the DJ's

[Interlude]

Ehh, yeah

Ehh, eh yeah

Ehh, yeah

Ehh

Ehh, yeah

[Verse: Craig David]

Making moves, yeah, on the dance floor

Got our groove on dancing yeah, real hard core

From the front to the back that's where I was at

You know, you know, the Artful Dodger do it like that

With Craig David all over your (boing)

DJ it's all up to you

When the crowd go wild

Tell me, whatcha gonna do

[Chorus: Craig David]

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Bo Bo

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind

This goes out to all the DJ's

[Verse: Craig David]

Making moves, yeah, on the dance floor

Got our groove on dancing yeah, real hard core

From the front to the back that's where I was at

You know, you know, the Artful Dodger do it like that

With Craig David all over your (boing)

DJ it's all up to you

When the crowd go wild

Tell me, whatcha gonna do

Making moves, yeah, on the dance floor

Got our groove on dancing yeah, real hard core

From the front to the back that's where I was at

You know, you know, the Artful Dodger do it like that

With Craig David all over your (boing)

DJ it's all up to you

When the crowd go wild

Tell me, whatcha gonna do

[Chorus: Craig David]

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind (Ehh, eh yeah), Sel-lecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind (Ehh, eh yeah), Sel-lecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

Re-rewind (Ehh, eh yeah), Sel-lecta

Re-rewind, when the crowd say Bo Selecta

#30 –“Jingle Bell Rock” – Bobby Helms

Produced by Joe Beal and Jim Boothe – Peaked at #3 in the US and Latvia

I don’t know what to tell you guys, I really have next to nothing to say for these Christmas classics. They’re simple, catchy compositions with dated and/or cliché production but make up for it by just being infectious and jolly. This applies to nearly all of these Christmas songs. The whole genre is based on these fundamentals and it’s not like they often take a detour – well, that’s coming up. I’m just so excited to talk about the last song here, so I really have no patience for this or “Sleigh Ride” or “Holly Jolly Christmas”. I have no idea how the hell this peaked at #3 in Latvia. I guess that’s something vaguely interesting about this song. I mean, it’s tolerable but I feel no pressure to write an essay about it or anything.

#29 – “Christmas Lights” – Coldplay

Produced by Coldplay, Rik Simpson and Brian Eno – Peaked at #2 in Italy and the Netherlands, and #25 in the US

In December 2008, Chris Martin wrote “Christmas Lights”, and even performed a segment of the draft on live television. Little did he know, that in my opinion, he wrote the best Christmas song of all time! So what’s “Christmas Lights” about? Well, it paints a very vivid picture of an aggravated relationship that brutally shattered on Christmas Eve, mentioned to be one of many but the date making it especially saddening. You could see it as a family breaking up and having an argument on Christmas, which is an especially common happening; 68% of families have a row over the Christmas break. You could also see it as a simple break-up song that just happens to take place over late December, but really it can be construed as both; Chris Martin plays it vague enough to apply to different situations but doesn’t allow for any wishy-washy lyricism, with some poetic specifics that really resonate. The first verse has almost a semantic field of liquid, all of which are somewhat acidic and all of which are overwhelmingly dangerous: “flood”, “poison”, “blood”. The line “Got all kinds of poison in—poison in my blood” reveals the reliance on alcohol as well as the sheer vitriol our narrator has built up for this person during this break-up, although much like alcohol and much like poison, once you take it, it’s quick and you won’t feel anything the next morning, if you feel anything at all, but the long-term consequences will be dire. This is a lovely metaphor that is illustrated throughout the song, and our narrator’s drunken stupor is even represented in the stammering and messy, incorrect structure of his sentences. The second half of the first verse details our narrator’s solution: he can confound into the Christmas lights, which are artificial, neon decorations lacking any meaning but in his dazed and confused state, he will have to rely on the exceptional displays of Oxford Street, which is directly name-dropped in the song, to guide him to some kind of home, literally or figuratively. One narrative would be that he simply cannot see his way home, but the other would be that he finds warmth in the lights that register memories of nostalgia, so much so that he’s able to reminisce on perhaps better Christmas Eves of his youth. The refrain in the first half of the song isn’t exactly referring to global warming when Martin talks about the snow falling; rather, he could be referring to waiting for the lights to come on and the dust to settle, or for the tensions to rise or even fall. It doesn’t feel like Christmas without family, and those violent arguments are the snow. He’s waiting for them to either stop or just come to a climax as the pain leading up to it is unbearable.

In the second verse, our narrator mentions candles flickering and floating; it’s iconic Christian imagery that symbolises Jesus Christ finding light in darkness. It links our narrator’s story to religion but also stars and destiny, implying fate has led him to this dark path. He seems to disregard the candles, though, instead focusing on the chandelier of hope that he hangs onto, once again abandoning tradition for the artificial, commercialised “Christmas light”, which is fascinating but something I’ve never truly been able to piece together with the rest of the narrative here. Our narrator undermines his panicked cries for help as “like” a drunken Elvis impersonator singing out of tune about how he always loved a “darling”, but this story rings true – karaoke is a staple at Christmas, and he might have very well been an Elvis impersonator singing out of tune one Christmas evening, but he now finds himself yelling in a drunken state whilst desperately attempting to calm himself down by remembering a more fun, simple time. After one refrain, we have our song, and I figure I should talk about the actual music now. The instrumentation starts simple, with a piano melody that sounds sombre and flat, especially when Martin’s dejected delivery, full of despair and hopelessness, drowns out all remnants of the composition as he has a stronghold on the mix. The strings are still somewhat decipherable, amongst awkward, ticking percussion, but they’re barely audible at this point, so the nostalgia is gone... until that refrain, where the atmosphere rises with the strings picking up in intensity and we have our first drop, which still feels slightly restrained, until that second verse comes in, and the drums kick in to represent the stupor our narrator is in, as they’re almost hypnotising in their unchanging pattern. Martin sounds chaotic as well, with his uncontrolled falsetto singing what might quite literally be out of tune. In the second refrain, ugly, plastic guitar loops play and I would usually criticise this but if anything this shows the two sides of the “Christmas light” concept better than I can word it: sure, it’s perfect and convenient for mass audiences, but does it really mean anything? It’s also pushed back into the mix and sounds kind of like “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders, so I’m okay with it being there, especially since it assists the narrative. So we have our second drop and that’s the end; they swell gorgeously in a way I can only describe as perfect... perfect for a transition, as we are now entering the second half of “Christmas Lights”.

The “beat switch”, for lack of a better term, is mostly just an upbeat piano since the strings’ echo is slowly fading out, and it sounds like it’ll finish right there, but the moment when it doesn’t is pure catharsis. The second half of the song is much more anthemic in tone but the lyrics are even more desperate, reaching back to personal memories of the band, even mentioning where they formed: a mile away from Oxford Street, where the sea (River Thames) and city meet. This doesn’t take away from our narrative though, as the chorus is almost a prayer for these Christmas lights to strip him of all his worries, but it’s obvious from the start that his hope is dwindling, especially in the drunken panic state he’s still in. At this point, you can almost render our narrator delusional, especially due to the imagery being so mundane in modern British society. Everyone has Christmas lights, but his attachment is never fully explained, leaving an aura of mystery around our narrator, separating him from Chris Martin, and letting him become this figure that is relatable to most of the country over the Christmas break, which is supposed to be a time for joy, delight and most importantly, togetherness. That extra degree of separation isolates our narrator further, and in the second chorus, he says the oddest and least likely thing to happen: the Christmas lights bring her back to him. Who’s her? Well, we don’t know, but what we do know is that our narrator seems silly now, so we can’t take him seriously. The audience doesn’t exactly turn on the narrator, but we can take everything this drunken shell of a practically homeless man says with a pinch of salt now. He’s insane, or at least in a state that drains him of his mental capacity, and we’re forced to watch this man celebrate Christmas. It’s depressing, and he knows it’s depressing. In the final chorus, he takes a stance that is rather selfless, despite everything else we’ve come to believe about our narrator: he wishes “her” the same good will he wished the Christmas lights would bring him, and that his emotions are livened by the lights, in a great metaphor about bringing up the fireworks in him, almost as if he’s fit to burst... and he might have; “May all your troubles soon be gone” could represent the narrator, referred to here as her troubles, and our troubles at this point, being gone – dead, missing or just out of her life, whilst the lights just keep shining on, oblivious to this man’s delirious reliance on them for a guiding light. The composition here is just as sweet, with more actual rock instrumentation here that gives it a kick and a sense of stability, although the transitions between choruses are basically nonexistent, almost as if they’re another step towards his fate. The instrumental break is a short moment of realisation, and the chorus of “oh”’s, whilst acting as what is basically a millennial whoop, are the voices in his head coming to an agreement: to stop. The song ends abruptly after Chris Martin stops singing, with a dejected piano phrase stopping midway through and a loud, reverb-heavy thud. This is up to interpretation but I truly think that thud is the death of our narrator, falling to the floor, never to come back up.

This is a brilliantly-written song, and combined with the orchestration courtesy of freaking Brian Eno... This is Coldplay’s magnum opus, and an overall beautiful piece of music. It’s one of my favourite songs of all time, I’m so glad it charted, and Yellowcard’s cover misses the point entirely. Thank you for reading.

The Christmas Songs That Didn’t Make It

I am terrified by the creeping overflow of Christmas songs every year, and that I have to cover each and every one to some capacity, but since last year, there’s obviously been less to cover since I’ve talked about a lot of it already, and after 30 holiday songs, you’d think there’s no other songs that could possibly creep into the Top 40 and become part of the canon, right?

...

“Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End)” by the Darkness is at #42, “The Christmas Song (A Merry Christmas to You)” by Nat King Cole is at #51, “Somewhere Only We Know” by Lily Allen is at #52, “Like it’s Christmas” by the Jonas Brothers is at #53, “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano is at #54, “Santa Baby” by Eartha Kitt is at #55, “Stop the Cavalry” by Jona Lewie is at #56, “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders is at #61, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Perry Como and the Fontaine Sisters with Mitchell Ayres and His Orchestra is at #63 (Thank God I don’t have to review that mouthful), “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Frank Sinatra is at #65, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith is at #67, “Blue Christmas” by Elvis Presley is at #68, “Man with the Bag” by Jessie J is at #70 (I’m assuming that’s a song about Santa), “Christmas Wrapping” by the Waitresses is at #71, “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” by Bruce Springsteen is at #72, “All I Want (for Christmas)” by Liam Payne is at #73, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue is at #74 and that’s just all the songs in the top 75. There’s probably a bunch more in the other 25 spots. I’ll see these guys next year, I guess, although there is some hope as a couple more Christmas songs I covered last year (Or even just last month) couldn’t make it in 2020. These are “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson 5 at #46, “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord” by Boney M. at #47, the aforementioned “I Love Sausage Rolls” by LadBaby at #57, “Into the Unknown” by Idina Menzel and AURORA at #62 and “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud is at #69. Yes, I’m counting the Frozen II song as a Christmas single because firstly, if that song isn’t, what’s “Stay Another Day”? And secondly, if we’re going to strictly limit our musical festivities, the only true Christmas song here is by Boney M... because it’s a literal re-telling of Jesus’ birth, even though he wasn’t actually born on Christmas apparently, or at least there’s no direct reference to such event happening on December 25th in the Bible. I don’t think I’m going to dig myself a hole with that one. I don’t know if there will be a chart rule stopping 30 Christmas songs from entering next year, and I’m not sure if I actually want that to happen, but it’ll be interesting to see how the Official Charts Company reacts to this, if at all.

Dropouts

Oh, it was a bloodbath. I’m not going to go in numerical order but I will start by saying that the album bombs from last week fared pretty okay, Harry Styles less so than Stormzy of course, but regardless, “Lessons” by Stormzy is out off of the debut at #9, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles is out from #18 and “Falling” by Harry Styles is out off of the debut at #39. The rest of the songs from both albums mostly survived, in fact “Lights Up” returned to #48. Otherwise, “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi is out from #15, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd is out from #20, “hot girl summer” by blackbear is out from #21, “Lose You to Love Me” by Selena Gomez is out from #22, “Falling” by Trevor Daniel is out from #26, “Lucid Dreams” by Juice WRLD is out off of the return from #27, “This is Real” by Jax Jones featuring Ella Henderson is out from #30, “Heartless” by the Weeknd is out from #35, “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One is out from #37, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is out from #38, and “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo is out from #40. I might as well note whilst in this section that there are now at least two versions of each of these four songs within the UK top 75 right now: “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” and “Santa Baby”, which is also sampled in “Santa Tell Me”. That factoid was pretty useless, but kind of interesting. I guess I get it now when rockists say they think all pop music sounds the same, because there are nine in the chart that literally are the same.

What Survived

What little of the UK Top 40 chart prior has remained is not exactly hard to guess. All of the biggest and most consistent songs streaming-wise have stayed, barely. “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi is down nine spots to #12, “Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa is down 10 to #14, “ROXANNE” by Arizona Zervas is down nine to #16, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is down 10 to #20, “everything i wanted” by Billie Eilish also down 10 to #23 (I’m starting to notice a trend here), “Adore You” by Harry Styles is down 14 to #26, “Pump it Up” by Endor is down 13 to #36, and that’s all of the pop songs out of the way, because Stormzy has three songs on the chart still even in the true climax of Christmas music, which is kind of commendable. “Own It” featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy is down three to number-five, making it the only non-holiday song in the top 10, “Audacity” featuring Headie One is down 22 off of the debut to #38 and finally “Vossi Bop” is returning at #40, for whatever reason. I’m not sure why or how but it’s here and it fills our quota for non-holiday songs. And now, I have mentioned all but two songs that are currently charting in the top 75, and for the sake of completion, “Memories” by Maroon 5 is at #60 and “My Oh My” by Camila Cabello featuring DaBaby is at #49. If you’re wondering how many total Christmas songs there are in the top 75, there are about 52. That’s 70%. I know that doesn’t seem too bad, but to put that into perspective, an album bomb is never allowed more than three songs at the same time. Surely Christmas songs are just as monotonous as an Ed Sheeran album, so why should they be under different regulation? I have a couple qualms relating to Christmas music, especially the charting of said music, but I’m nearly 2,300 words in and I haven’t even written the song reviews yet so I think I better shut up. I know this has been a long and somewhat messy episode, but I really had no option. Welcome to season three, everybody. Next week won’t be pretty, either, as all of those 52 songs will have completely and utterly disappeared.

...

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sayonaralullaby-a · 7 years

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Okay, here’s a list of my reactions to the Woods because I love it so much and I Gotta™, plus an Anon was wondering about my thoughts on it, so it’s there at the end. Warning for spoilers, of course.

MY REACTIONS TO THE WOODS:

Someone be hurt ( killed? ) already in the film, what a great start

Though can I just say that the very first severals shots of the sceneries were absolutely stunning?? W o w

AND THAT INTRO MUSIC, FUCK YEAH, I’M LOVING IT

AND MY THREE BOIS LOOKING NICE AF, ESPECIALLY JAMES

Dammit Cib, smh, ya gonna kill everyone with your smoking shenanigans

Cib’s soft “sorry” though after Steven told him not to smoke in his dad’s car, awe

The shots in the grocery stories and the boys entering and going across???? My Aesthetic™

Cib’s????? laugh??????? What was that??????? lmfao

Who dat cashier man??????????

James’ enthusiasm for marshmallows and throwing the bag of it at Steven is honestly Me As Fuck. Plus I can honestly imagine I’d be like that to Casey if we ever go shopping together. Just fucking throw food at him that I want to buy.

wAit wasn’t that janitor the guy from the beginning of the film???????

Also rip bottles

DEVIN MY BOI, AND DAMN, WHAT AN AESTHETIC LOOK™

To be honest, this whole film is an Aesthetic™

Mhm, poor Devin

As I hope Mimi and Elliott’s relationship would be fixed soon,,,,,, I’m so gay for Mimi,,, by e,,,,

Man, the cabin looks really coolio, lemme comment on that

Steven standing and looking out at the porch?? Good stuff

W E L P THAT’S GROSS

BUT ANYWAY,,,, THE COLOURING OF THE NEXT SCENE IS SO NICE???????

GET SLAMMED DEVIN

Cib giving a surprise peak kiss to Mimi and being a dumb dork asdfasdfasdf

Where ya going, James?

,,, OOF,,,, STEVEN BBY

I don’t care how cheesy scenarios like that is, but I absolutely fucking love when there would be a scene when Character A would be distant with everyone else who were having fun and such, and Character B notices A wasn’t around and decided to hang out with them before they just have this moment together that is a mixture of silliness and seriousness, but even if the characters laughs and pokes on each other, there is still something behind that particular part that just makes your chest get that feeling of butterflies fluttering regardless.

“Love you, man.” Awe

Cops…. Uh oh.

Oh God, I hate when a music that’s like funky switches over with a scary and mystery vibe to it, I don’t trust it

I also don’t trust when there are shots taken behind the cop’s back when he approaches by the cabin’s door, n o p e

“Steve Steven” Was that meant to be a dad joke @ Officer

And we’re back to the funky music with nothing too bad happening during that scene, good ( I mean, shits gotta strike soon, so… )

AND DEAR POOR CAE WAS WRONG

BIT C H WHAT THEFUCK THIS SOON ALREADY???

Smh teenagers

O sh I t what the fuck was that and Steven be spooked

Steven pouring alcohol on Cib’s head??? That would be Casey at me, tbh

“Steven waterboarded me” asdfasdfasdfasdf

Someone should really need to help Mimi and Eliot with their mess of a relationship, oof

Aa a a a. Aa. Aa a a a a a a aaaaaaa I’m so shook the cop be d e a d

OH MY GOD IT’S THE D E M O N

ELLIOTTTT N O

THE SHOT WITH MIMI AND STEVEN TOGETHER ASDFDASDGAGS

CHRIST, EVERYONE’S EXPRESSIONS DURING THAT SCENE WERE DONE AT SUCH PERFECT POINT THAT CAN MY HEART AC H E

OH NO,,,,, DEVIN,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

OH MY GOD CIB FUCK NO NOT YOU TOO

IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

YES DEVIN SHOOT THE BITCH

AWE CHRI S T DE VI NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

NECK TRAUMAS ARE ALWAYS THE WORSE FUCKING THING TO GO THROUGH AND I HATE NECK TRAUMAS SO DAMN MUCH ASDFSASDFDAASD FUC KKKKK CIB NO MY BOI

MIMI’S ACTING IN THIS PART THOUGH I WANT TO CR YYYYY ASDFASDFASDF

ALSO WHEN JAMES LOOKED AT HIS HANDS AND SEE THERE WERE BLOOD ( CIB’S BLOOD ) BEFORE HE YELLED, “FUCK NO” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

STEVEN’S EXPRESSION, I WANNA HUG HIM,,,,,,

I WANNA HUG THE THREE OF THEM SO MUCH, NOOOOO………..

James’ small speech about Cib with what he thought on the stars, fUC k me U P

Mimi asking if they’re going out asdfgsgagshd m e

Go d I’m so scared, I’m clinging on to my Eevee plushie so hard pffffffttttttttttttt

When Steven turned on the car engine and the music blasted out, that’s honestly Iconic

W H O M S T

HEY, IT’S THE CASHIER MAN WITH THE JANITOR

Steven’s expression when Mimi asked him if he knew the cashier man omggg I love him so much

Holy shit

HOLY SHIT

J A M E S F U C K I N D E A N G E L I S

OH MY GOD, WHAT A FUCKING BADASS, JAMES I LOV YOU SO MUCH

THE MUSIC ASDFASDFASDF HELLLLL YEAHHHHHHH HHH H

MY OVERALL THOUGHTS ON THE WOODS:

It’s indeed a good short film, I’ll tell ya that! Though because the film was done in 23 minutes, I assume due to time constraints with the budgets and such, I won’t touch too much upon the main and sub plots and characters, as making connections with the characters or not. I personally feel like with the Woods being filmed for only 23 minutes, one shouldn’t be too harsh on how the plotline wouldn’t make a lot of sense as it was needed to be fleshed out more or how the characters are bland, something along the line.

The acting was wonderful, though kudos to Mimi and James for making the certain scenes more emotional than it should’ve asdasdfasf ( which isn’t much of a surprise because James’ known to do acting, though I’m not too familiar with Mimi so I don’t know about her, but despite the shoutouts, everyone did awesome regardless ).

Makeups are mmmm 👌👌👌 — also that demon though, omg, I’m just grateful its’ appearance design didn’t give me any nightmares when I went back to sleep after watching the film, but I really like the design to it.

They did a pretty good job on making the scenes not being too short or long.

Good music choices. Definitely fits along with where the scenes goes.

I don’t really hold a lot of expectations from plotlines of the films ( an hour/two hour or less ) that holds horror elements to it since it’s pretty predictable what would happen ( also the Woods sort of gives me that Until Dawn vibe, oooo ), BUT when Steven, James and Mimi were escaping from the woods, it still got me tensed anyway as bOI where the Hell was that fucking demon and I don’t want Steven, James and/or Mimi to die as well, y’know???? Also the ending????????? I seriously didn’t expect that. At all.

Do I even need to comment on the visuals/choreography? God, does it deserve an award for having an amazing choreography.

I’ll most likely add more into this post as I probably forget a bunch, but final thoughts??? I’m extremely proud of the Pine Crew. Really, I personally don’t care that much of how good the film was done as in the plotlines, characters, pacing, etc, and all of that professional stuff. I just love how they’re experiencing something different and new than what they usually do in their channel, and the fact they filmed all of this with such passion and love into it for three days only and it’s their first film is phenomenal. I extremely hope they’ll be able to do a next film, maybe even for Christmas, but!!! Despite the cliche plots and bland characters, the Woods is a good film that was created with a lovely amount of enthusiasm and effort into it nevertheless, and I love it so much. It definitely made this year’s October more meaningful to me.

#( Cae speaking )#*do not reblog

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solnyshko-moyo · 7 years

Text

Liability

Prompt: Based off of Lorde’s Liability.

Pairing(s): Steve x reader

Warnings: angst, language, mentions of death

WC: 5636

A/N: I’m not too familiar with the X-Men storyline, so bear with me if there are a lot of inaccuracies.

The team is gathered in the conference room going over an upcoming mission. The mission involved infiltrating a nightclub rumored to be run by hydra. Steve is debating with Tony who should be going in and who would be the lookouts.

Tony wants to go inside, mainly because the nightclub has exotic dancers. Steve thinks Tony should be air support outside of the club. “Tony you have little to no training in hand to hand combat. You can’t wear your suit inside or change into it quick enough if needed.” Tony slumps in his chair knowing Steve has a point.

“Me, Bucky, Nat will go inside, Wanda and Scott will watch the door. Tony and Sam will provide air support, Clint is going to watch the side streets from the roof. Bruce is down the street with the van running intel.” Steve shuts his folder and moves to stand up.

“What about me?” You ask wondering why you are being left out. Peter you understand, he’s a kid and you are going to a glorified strip club but you? You can help.

“You are staying behind.” Steve says firmly, setting his jaw when he sees the bewildered expressions of the team.

“Why? I can fight, I can help.” You might not have a power that would contribute to the mission, but you aren’t useless. You know how to fight, and damn well too.

Steve doesn’t hesitate when he says, “You’re a liability.” The room is silent. Natasha’s eyes go wide, Bucky closes his eyes and shakes his head, and Tony for once is speechless.

You stand there staring back at an unwavering Steve. You nod your head a few times, taking in the fact Steve has so little respect for you and your capabilities. You never knew he thought so little of you. “I understand, I’m a liability,” You say back to him, impressed your voice doesn’t waver. “Sorry for the inconvenience then.” You turn on your heel and walk calmly out of the conference room.

You’re angry and hurt. You’ve given everything to this team since the day you joined. You’ve done everything that’s been asked for you, you put your teammates before yourself, and you’ve saved all their asses more times than you care to admit. But the kicker is that Steve Rogers, the man who somehow stole your heart sees you as a burden, or how he put it, a liability. You set your jaw as the elevator door slides shut and begins to ascend to your floor. You are a strong woman, and you'll make him regret those words by showing him exactly what you give to the team by not giving any more. You’ll go somewhere where you’re appreciated and wanted.

You throw some clothes into a backpack, not worried too much about what you’re grabbing. You fill your backpack with the things you can’t live without. Pictures, a book, and your grandma’s necklace you keep safe on your dresser. You shoot a text to your buddy Scott Summers that you are coming back to X Mansion for awhile.

“FRIDAY no one is to enter the elevator until I get off.” You tell the IA as the elevator begins to descend to the main lobby. You don’t bother answering the receptionist as you exit the tower through the lobby. They're gonna watch me disappear into the sun.

You know the team will be notified immediately, so you waste no time in hailing a taxi and telling the driver to take you to Time Square. You know how to disappear, you aren’t an idiot. You don’t have much money since most of it is on a credit card or in the bank. So you’ll steal a car and drive it halfway to the mansion and have someone come pick you up.

It’s Bobby who comes to pick you up in Eastchester. You haven’t seen him in years. You were a few years older than Bobby when you were last at the mansion. “Y/N! Scott sent me to come pick you up.” Bobby calls out his car window. You smile and jog over to where he’s parked.

“Bobby! Or should I call you Iceman now?” You tease as you pull him into a hug across the center console.

His laugh rumbled in your ear, and he shakes his head. “Bobby will do just fine, Shadow Lotus.”

“Ugh, no one’s called me that in years… I don’t think I’ve missed it.” Shadow Lotus is your ‘superhero’ name, given to you since you manipulate plants. You thought Poison Ivy was cool, even if she’s a villain in the comics. You get where she’s coming from, wanting to be left alone with her plants in an untouched place, not all the killing. You hate how people are destroying the earth.

It’s late when you finally get to the mansion, the sunset long ago and you’re exhausted. Bobby almost turned the car around to refreeze Steve when you told him what happened. If this is how Bobby reacted, then you really don’t want to see how Scott reacts.

The team watches in disbelief as you walk out of the room. For one, they can’t believe Steve said that and for two you didn’t even stand up for yourself. Natasha knows damn well you could have kicked Steve’s ass right then and there and no one would stop you. She could tell you were hurt, everyone could.

“Steven Grant Rogers, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Natasha yells, the first one to break the silence. Steve doesn’t even try and tell her to watch her language because he’s still staring at the door.

“I did what I had to do.” Steve sighs, your face had been carefully guarded after the second of shock after he called you a liability. But the hurt in your eyes wasn’t as easily masked.

“Not sure that’s the best way to win over the girl,” Bucky mutters leaning back into his chair, looking at Steve disappointedly.

“You’re telling me you’ve had feelings for Y/N and you call her useless?” Natasha clenches her fists together and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath before continuing, “You’re more of an idiot than I thought.”

“I had to keep her safe. I can’t risk something happening to her, and this is a dangerous mission.” Steve holds his hand up before anyone can cut in to defend you. “I know she can handle herself, but she’s not on Hydra's radar. She’s powerful. She could cover a city in plants in less than a day if she wanted. You’ve seen her room, she did that in a matter of minutes.” Steve remembers when you first got to the tower. He showed you your room, and in minutes you had all but covered it in ivy and flowers. He had watched mesmerized as you set a small potted plant next to your window, and without moving a muscle, you had made the plant grow. Vines of ivy snaked along the walls and wrapped around the ceiling fixtures and framed the doors. It was beautiful to watch.

“She’s anything but a liability, but I can’t let anything happen to her.” Steve rubs his hand over his face, he messed up, and he knows it.

“Y/N is the best thing that happened to this team. No one would let anything happen to her Steve.” Wanda crosses her arms and glares at Steve with the intensity of a thousand suns.

“You should apologize before this gets too out of hand,” Clint suggests, he loves Y/N. She’s always asking about his kids and wife.

“Fuck,” Steve whispers and runs his hand through his hair.

“Sorry to interrupt but Susan at reception has asked me to inform you that Ms. Y/L/N has left.” FRIDAY’s voice chimes through the ceiling.

“What do you mean left?” Several voices ask at once.

“Ms. Y/L/N has taken a bag of belongings with her. She requested no one enter the elevator while she rode to the lobby and walked out the door.” FRIDAY responds dutifully. “Surveillance cameras in the front last saw her getting into a taxi.”

“Well done Steve. I hope you're happy.” Natasha gets out of her seat and stalks to the door.

“Y/N has many friends in New York alone. She could have gone anywhere.” Wanda sighs, finding you would be hard.

“FRIDAY pull up her phone, see if it can be tracked,” Tony asks pulling out a tablet.

“I’m sorry Mr. Stark, but GPS is turned off on Mr. Y/L/N’s cellphone. Last known location was Avenger’s Tower.” FRIDAY responds earning a groan from Tony.

“Watch her credit cards and if her GPS turns back on let me know right away,” Tony instructs. Finding you would take more than a miracle.

“How many friends does she have in the area?” Tony asks Wanda, hoping you would choose one close which would be the most convenient for you.

“She has a friend that lives in the Bronx, Wade. She’s also friends with one of his buddies, but I don’t know where he lives. And she’s got some friends in midtown I think.” Wanda racks her brain trying to think of where you would go. She only hears about people from your stories of before your time with the Avengers.

“She said she doesn’t want her friends on shield's radar if they aren’t already,” Clint interjects. He understands and respects her for it. He tried for so long to keep his family hidden and if Y/N wanted to do the same he wouldn’t pry.

“This is all my fault,” Steve whispers and hangs his head. If he hadn’t been so selfish and trusted his team to protect each other, Y/N wouldn’t have left. He vows to himself that when he finds you, he will make this right.

“Y/N! I didn’t know you were back, when did you get here?” Storm pulls you into a hug when you wander into the kitchen the next morning.

“Late last night, Bobby came and picked me up.” You hold on to the white haired woman for dear life and try to hold back the tears. You are stronger than crying over a boy. You didn’t want what Steve said to affect how you live your life.

Storm pulls back to take your appearance in, and her smile fades as she notices the dark circles under your eyes and the tears threatening to spill. “Honey, what happened?”

“It’s nothing. It isn’t important.” You smile, trying to brush off the impending conversation. She doesn’t believe you, and you know it.

“If it’s nothing then why do you look so sad?” Storm smoothes down your hair, she hates seeing you like this.

“I kind of quit being an Avenger.” You give her a sheepish smile when her eyebrows shoot up and disappear into her fringe. “Well, I left without telling anyone, and I don’t really intend to go back anytime soon.”

“Why? What happened?” Confusion laces Storm’s voice. She doesn’t understand why you would leave.

“They are getting ready for a mission, and Steve sat me out but when I asked why he told me I’m a liability. I’m a little much for everyone. I get it. Sometimes I let my powers get the best of me. So instead of arguing, I left and came back to the people who understand.”

“You’re so much better than any of them. If they can’t appreciate you, then they don’t deserve you.”

“It just,” you choke back a sob, “it hurts so much. I loved Steve. I thought he liked me enough to consider me his friend. I love him so much, and apparently, I mean nothing to him.” You can’t hold back the tears any longer. Your vision blurs, and you feel the hot liquid running down your cheeks.

Storm pulls you back into a hug and holds you tightly. Scott, who had heard from Bobby what happened, races into the room. He sees you and Storm embraced tightly and sandwiched you between them. It breaks his heart to see you like this. He and Storm share a look, both silently vowing to show you how much you mean to everyone at the mansion.

After your tears are dry and you’ve calmed down Scott leads you outside. You wonder where he’s taking you, but you don’t fight him. As the greenhouse comes into view, you smile remembering how much you loved spending time in there when you lived here. As you get closer, you notice it’s different than how you left it. Well of course it is, it’s been years since you’ve lived in the mansion.

“We tried our best to take care of it, but we weren’t as good with it as you were.” Scott smiles sheepishly as you take in the state of the plants. Most of them are alive still, they just aren’t as vibrant or perky as you left them. A lot of them need a good pruning and bigger pots, but for the most part, they are alright.

“You did well. At least they aren’t all dead.” You punch Scott’s arm lightly earning a chuckle from him. You walk through the rows, assessing the damage and making mental notes of what you’ll need to pick up from the store. Mostly bigger pots, the rest you could do yourself.

You spend the day in the greenhouse taking care of the plants. Talking to them as you prune, coaxing them to stand up taller as you water, resurrecting the dead plants with soft strokes. Even though you could have done all this without so much effort, you liked taking the time to give each plant the attention it needs. You could have easily manipulated the plants to be exactly how you wanted, but taking the slower route because it gives you something to do.

You’ve been at the mansion for a week before a mission is getting organized. It’s like deja vu as you look through the file you are handed: infiltrating a Hydra base. This time though it’s a warehouse that is supposedly holding a mutant hostage.

“Alright, we are planning on going in with the element of surprise. Storm and Colossus will take the back, Warren, Jean, and Bobby the roof then work your way down. Hank, Y/N and I will take the front.” Scott points at the blueprints of the warehouse as he assigns partners and bases. “There are two floors above ground but, underground is unknown. Bobby, Warren, and Jean go for information on their computers as soon as you can. Y/N and I will find the girl they are holding. Storm, Colossus, and Hank keep the building clear and if you need backup Bobby will help.”

“Do we know where they are keeping the information and girl?” Jean asks not taking her eyes off the blueprints.

“First floor is likely a cover floor. Probably going to store a few vehicles and crates. The second floor is probably going to be where the information is kept based off of other hydra buildings. The testing labs and cells will be underground.” You chime in, this isn’t your first rodeo in Hydra bases.

“We leave in twenty. Get changed and meet in the garage.” Scott stands from his chair and talks with Jane over the blueprints.

You realize you don’t have a field suit with you, only street clothes. So instead of going to your room, you head to Storm’s. She lets you borrow one of her suits, even if it’s a little tight. You are shorter than her by a couple of inches but more muscular from your time with the Avengers. The suit is a lot tighter than you normally wear, but it doesn’t hinder your ability to move around.

The warehouse looks abandoned from where the team is hiding in the bushes. The windows are blacked with dirt, and the paint on the walls is peeling off in layers. If it weren’t for the tire tracks leading up to some garage looking doors, you would have believed no one’s been here in years. Thick vines of ivy creeping up the sides of the building congregating near the windows. You watch as your vines cover the windows in thick layers, sealing away all the possible exits. The only ones that don’t get covered are the front entrance, back entrance, and the roof. The Hydra agents would be trapped inside.

The group splits into three, each subteam moving closer to where they will enter the building. At exactly 7 o'clock sharp, each team enters the warehouse. The element of surprise is on your side. The Hydra agents are milling around playing cards. Before they can open their mouths to yell about the intruders, you shoot vines of ivy at them, pinning them to the ground and strangling them with the vines. Scott and Hank stand next to you in shock, they had no idea you were even able to do something like that. The vines had shot from the dirt ground, but there was a basement under them, they had always thought a plant had to be present for you to manipulate it, but here you are conjuring up plants out of nowhere.

Footsteps scuffle in the dirt approaching where you are standing. Two more agents are coming to see what the noise is, stop in their tracks at the sight of their buddies on the ground covered in vines and dead. They begin to pull their guns out, but before they can do so, you slam them against the wall with more ivy vines. You walk past them with Scott and Hank following close behind you leaving the two men struggling to pull the tightening vines away from their necks before they end up like their friends on the ground. You walk into the main room at the same time as Storm and Colossus. Sharing a brief nod when they alarms start blaring alerting the Hydra agents of your presence.

The room floods with agents as you and your teammates spread out. Electricity cracks in the air, and you can hear Scott’s laser zapping somewhere to your left. You summon thick blades of grass from the ground, catching agents feet and pulling them to the ground. You pin them by their arms and legs to the ground with the grass, they grunt and trash around trying to free themselves. The grass begins to creep up their neck lightly choking them. You can see the fear in their eyes as they feel the grass begin to tighten around their necks. Their thrashing gets more violent as you move past the dozen or so men on the ground to keep fighting the next wave of agents.

Scott jogs over to you amidst the melee and pulls you toward the basement stairwell. Most of the agents are upstairs fighting the rest of the team. You and Scott take out the stragglers quick and easy as you make your way through the tunnels. You pass the testing labs and kill the ‘doctor’ in charge before you make it to the cells. A lot of them are empty and unused. There was a guard hiding in one, and Scott rolled his eyes and slammed it shut. You left it locked, not caring if it was cruel. You didn’t come to sympathize with Hydra agents. You came to rescue the mutant they are holding captive.

The last cell in the block has agents guarding it. You and Scott do a round of rock, paper, scissors jokingly. You throw paper, but Scott throws scissors. You roll your eyes and don’t bother moving around the corner to be in sight of the cell door. The floor and walls are concrete, so it takes a little more concentration, but you manage to squeeze a few vines of ivy through the cracks of the concrete. You surprise yourself, you thought you were summoning normal ivy, but to your surprise when you and Scott walk around the corner it’s poison ivy.

If Scott noticed or has an opinion he doesn’t voice it, instead, he heads toward the cell door. Beaming the lock off, he pulls the metal door open and hesitates before stepping across the threshold. “We aren’t going to hurt you. We came to help.” He calls into the room. “We came to get you out of here.”

There’s shuffling in the room, but the prisoner doesn’t say anything. “I’m gonna come in, so you can see me.” You call into the room. You pause, waiting for her not say no, but when she doesn’t say anything you take a step into the room. “My name’s Y/N, and my buddy out there is Scott. We are like you.” You crouch down, mostly for show, and stroke the ground coaxing some daisies to break through the concrete. You shift to the side, so the light hits the flowers for the girl to see.

You hear light footsteps approaching you from the left and focus on keeping your muscles relaxed. A young girl no more than eleven crouches at the edge of the darkness. You can see the outlines of her features and wonder how long she’s been here.

“Are these real?” She asks lowly, reaching out a dirty arm to touch the petals.

“Yes, I can control plants. And Scott wears cool glasses over his eyes.” You don’t tell her why he does because you don’t want to scare her. “We came to take you away from here and these bad people.” You hold out your hand and give her a soft smile.

“I’m Kennedy. I can disappear.” Her arm reaches out to take yours. Once she’s holding your hand, she slowly steps into the light and practically glues herself to your side.

You and Scott make your way back up to the main area where the rest of your teammates are waiting for you. Warren and Storm are nowhere to be found. Bobby informs you they are getting the cars since they are the fastest. Apparently, Warren airlifted them and used the extra speed Storm gave him with the wind.

“Kennedy these are the rest of my friends. Jean, Bobby, Dr. Hank, and Colossus. They are all super cool.” You whisper the last part after you introduce everyone. She nods slowly and waves back at everyone, but doesn’t say anything. She’ll warm up, you’re sure of it.

“The Hydra base is supposed to be housing something powerful. We aren’t sure what, but we think it’s a prisoner.” Tony hands everyone their files as the quinjet lifts off.

No one’s head is really in the game, they are all thinking about Y/N. She seemingly disappeared once she got into that cab. Tony tried tracking it through cameras, but it’s like she got in but never got out. Steve though has been up to during all hours of the night trying to figure out where you went. Trying and failing.

The quinjet lands a couple of miles from the Hydra base, and the team begins the trek through the woods. The warehouse used to be used for lumber storage. The processing mill is about a mile from the warehouse. Neither has been used since the 80’s.

Nearing the building, the team ducks into the cover of the trees and bushes. The team takes a good look at the building, assessing it for weak points and possible inhibition. It truly does look abandoned. From the peeling paint to the ivy scaling the walls.

Tilting her head Natasha looks at the ivy more critically, it just doesn’t seem right. “Does the ivy look weird to you?” The team murmurs their agreements, but they let it go, nature is weird.

The team splits off Tony, Clint and Wanda make their way around the building. Natasha, Bruce, Steve, and Bucky stay crouched in their spot behind the bushes. Bruce hasn’t taken his eyes off the ivy. It looks thicker in certain spots and hardly any vines in others.

“Ready.” Clint’s voice crackles through the comms, “One, two, three. GO!” The teams slip through the doors ready for a fight.

But what they meet are dead bodies. Steve stops in his tracks causing Bucky to slam into his back. “Steve what-” Bucky’s words die out when he sees what Steve is staring at. Natasha and Bruce slip around the super soldiers wanting to see what’s going on.

“Y/N… she was here.” Steve whispers. He takes in sight before him in shock. Dead agents are laying on the ground with vines tethered around their necks. The looks of fear still etched on their faces and their hands are clutching the vines. A little further into the building there are two agents pinned to the wall with more vines.

“It doesn’t even look like a fair fight.” Bruce inspects the vines and gives an experimental tug to one. Even though Y/N is gone, the vines are still holding on strong.

“Let’s keep moving.” Steve doesn’t wait for the others to say anything before he’s moving through the room to get to the next. The room is silent, bodies littering the ground. A dozen or so agents are laying on the ground being restricted by long blades of grass wrapping around their limbs like thin ropes. Like the agents in the other room, they were strangled by the plants.

“It looks like she wasn’t alone. These are claw marks. Over here it looks like someone was electrocuted. Who was Y/N with?” Bruce examines the body he’s leaning over. The one next to this body appears to have frostbite.

Clint’s team walks into the room casually, weapons down and not appearing to be ready to fight. “The back is clear. Someone did our job for us.” Clint shrugs, the missions a bust.

“Yeah, Y/N did it for us.” Steve sighs, “She’s already been here.” Clint raises his eyebrows at the grass tied agents.

“Let's split up then and clear the building? We can go upstairs and see if they left the computers intact and you go downstairs and see if there’s anything good.” Tony suggests taking the face part of his mask off. Steve nods and begins to make his way to the stairs.

There aren’t as many bodies down here, and only some of them look like you killed them. Their light footsteps echo the halls, stopping only to peer into empty cells. Steve approaches the agents who are slumped against the ground with poison ivy wrapped around their bodies. Blood is splattered on the wall where it looks like each agent was slammed against before sliding down the wall. Whether they died of strangulation or blunt force is unknown.

“Y/N did this?” Steve whispers, he can’t believe you were capable of something like this. He never thought your powers could do this. He knows your powerful, but you summoned a poisonous plant through concrete. It’s left him reeling.

“Her powers are manifesting stronger than before likely due to a stressor. I’d have to look at her DNA and run some tests, but that’s likely the cause.” Bruce looks over the bodies as well as he can while staying clear of the poisoned leaves. No one says anything, but they all know what stressor Bruce is referring to. Steve hangs his head in shame, it’s his fault all this happened.

“Hey, guys we found the surveillance. Come take a look.” Tony says through the comms from upstairs. Steve, Bucky, Natasha, and Bruce make their way back through the building and up to the second floor where the others are.

The team watches you approach the building with some men, a furry blue beast looking man and a man wearing weird glasses. They watch as you make your way through the building killing Hydra agents with minimal effort. The Hydra agents didn’t stand a chance against you let alone the team you were with.

“I don’t recognize any of the people she’s with, but all their suits have matching X logos on them. It’s not hard to guess she went back to the X-Men.” Tony leans back in the chair letting the video continue to play. The team continues to follow you as you move through the building. Eyebrows raise as you will the ivy vines to kill the last two guards. Tony was right earlier when he said he thought it might be a prisoner being kept here.

“Why didn’t I think she would go back to the X-Men. She grew up with them at the mansion.” Steve groans, the answer had been in front of him the whole time. How could he be so stupid?

“Because it was obvious. She’s hiding in plain sight, she knows we know where the mansion is but we don’t know where any of her other friends live. We focused on them instead of following up on the obvious lead.” Natasha’s impressed, she hadn’t thought of looking at the mansion either. Y/N probably hadn’t even thought that far into it, she probably just wanted to go home to her family.

You sit in the grass with your eyes closed, face tilted toward the sun like a sunflower. You’d been doing some thinking during your meditation. First why you had summoned poison plants back at the Hydra base. You figured it was just heat of the moment at the time, but the more you thought about it, the more you are unsure. Sure, you have a deep rooted hatred for hydra and what it stands for but is that the only reason for the poison? Ultimately they were going to die anyways, but it still bothers you. It was a fluke, you convince yourself, it won’t happen again.

You wonder if the Avengers are even looking for you. Probably not. You’re a liability to them. The truth is I’m a toy that they enjoyed 'til all of the tricks didn't work anymore, and then they are bored of me. You survived my usefulness to them, and they didn’t need me after that.

You push them from your mind. Instead, you think back to yesterday when you were in the greenhouse looking tending to your plants. Kennedy had followed you in, she had been sticking close to you as she settled in. You showed her how to take care of the plants and told her how you wanted to depot all the plants and put them into the ground. You explained the rotations you were thinking and how it benefitted the plants. She listened like you were speaking the gospel truth. It was endearing, and you were glad someone else appreciated plantlife.

You didn’t hear someone approaching until they sit down next to you. You don’t bother to open your eyes, you can smell his shampoo. “What are you doing here Steve?” You ask quietly and stay basking in the sun’s warmth.

“I came to apologize. I’ve been looking for you since you left. I’m so sorry Y/N.” Steve begins, he can’t put into words how sorry he is. “I never should have said that to you.”

“So why did you? How did you even find me? And how did you even make it through the mansion without someone trying to kill you?” You open your eyes and cast them down, you thumb one of the flowers that have popped up near you during your meditation.

“You guys didn’t erase the surveillance footage at the Hydra base. We came in a couple of days after you.” Steve trails off, his mind flashes back to the bodies you left in the clutches of your vines. You don’t say anything and continue to toy with the flowers. Steve continues, “I’ve been beating myself up about what I said.”

“You shouldn’t. You spoke your mind and said your opinion. If you wanted me out of the tower there were easier ways, but hey, what are ya gonna do?” You shrug, there’s no use in yelling at him anymore. That was never you, yelling didn’t solve anything. Talking it out sure, but saying hurtful things back to make yourself feel better isn’t your thing.

“I never wanted you out of the tower Y/N,” Steve says softly though he understands why you would think so.

“Then why Steve?” You don’t understand his game.

“Because I love you dammit!” Steve says louder than he intends to. This finally gets you to look at him. You’re eyebrows raised farther than humanly possible. Steve’s got a funny way of showing his love. He sighs, he’s going to have to tell you now. “I didn’t want you to go on the mission because I didn’t want to see you hurt. I care too much about you. I have feelings for you, and I know you probably hate me now. And that’s okay, I deserve it. I just- I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. For everything.”

You continue to stare at Steve in shock. He looks away, his cheeks burning and his heart in his throat. He hadn’t planned on telling you everything. “I love you too, you know. Even if you are an idiot.”

Steve jolts his eyes back to you, he looks like a puppy all full of hope. “You do?” He whispers not believing his ears. You roll your eyes and drag him down by his shirt collar. You place a soft, chaste kiss on his lips. Steve places his hand on your cheek, thanking just about every god he can think of.

He pulls back and rests his forehead against yours. “I love you Y/N, and I will spend forever trying to make it up to you.”

“I love you too Steve.”

#steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #reader insert #marvel #marvel imagine

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awesome-donut-me · 5 years

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HOOK

Director;Steven Spielberg

Starring:Dustin Hoffman , Julia Roberts , Robin Williams

Summary : When Captain Hook kidnaps his children, an adult Peter Pan must return to Neverland and reclaim his youthful spirit in order to challenge his old enemy.

Critics;

Roger Ebert

The ads for Steven Spielberg’s “Hook” ask the question, “What if Peter Pan grew up?” but the answer, alas, is that then he would probably star in a lugubrious retread of a once-magical idea.

Robin Williams plays the harassed businessman, and Maggie Smith is the old granny who’s able to suggest the most wonderful possibilities when she whispers, “Peter, dear - don’t you know who you are?” Actually, he can’t remember a thing that happened before he was 12, but Hook can and kidnaps Banning’s two children because he wants to lure Peter back to Neverland for a rematch.

The sad thing about the screenplay for “Hook” is that it’s so correctly titled: This whole construction is really nothing more than a hook on which to hang a new version of the Peter Pan story. No effort is made to involve Peter’s magic in the changed world he now inhabits, and little thought has been given to Captain Hook’s extraordinary persistence in wanting to revisit the events of the past.

The opening of the film promises more. Spielberg sets the scene in modern-day America, where the executive lifestyle leaves no time for fathers to spend with children. Then Robin Williams takes his wife and children back to London to visit Granny Wendy, who adopted him as an orphan, and as the kids sleep in the very same bedroom where the original story began, we get the Spielberg visual trademark of the blinding light on the other side of the rattling window: The promise of magic, just outside.

After the children disappear and Peter finds Hook’s kidnap note and is told by Granny Wendy who he really is and why he must follow, I was poised for a breathtaking first view of Neverland , but what I got was a dreary disappointment. The long, long, long Neverland sequences take place in a cluttered rag-and-bone shop of art direction; there are too many characters, too many props, too many signs, too many costumes, bad traffic direction, and no sense of place or space. The whole thing looks like what it is, a movie set, right down to the unconvincing backdrops, and for some reason there’s a shift to red and brown in the color spectrum, so Neverland (which in my imagination, at least, is on a lush green island) looks as if it’s in the midst of a drought.The other key characters appear: Hook, played by Dustin Hoffman as if he were doing an imitation instead of a performance, and Tinker Bell, played by Julia Roberts more as a duty than a pleasure. There’s not much wit here. What exists is supplied by Robin Williams, who does the best he can to be amazed and enchanted by his shabby surroundings, and by Smee (Bob Hoskins), who is sort of Hook’s official sidekick.There’s also a large group of orphans in Neverland who are massed as if for group photographs and shunted here and there as if waiting for auditions for “Oliver!” The crucial failure in “Hook” is its inability to re-imagine the material, to find something new, fresh or urgent to do with the Peter Pan myth. Lacking that, Spielberg should simply have remade the original story, straight, for this generation. The lack of creativity in the screenplay is dramatized in the sword fighting sequences between Hook and Peter, which are endless and not particularly well-choreographed. They do not convince me that either Williams or Hoffman is much of a fencer. Has any Hollywood director ever given thought to bringing in a Hong Kong expert like King Hu to do second-unit work on the swordfights? The cheapest Asian martial arts movie has infinitely more excitement in its sword sequences than the repetitive lunge-and-shuffle that goes on here. Then comes the ending of the movie. Or the endings. One after another. Farewells.

Poignancy. Lessons to be learned. Speeches to be made. Lost marbles to be rediscovered. Tears to be shed. The conclusion of “Hook” would be embarrassingly excessive even for a movie in which something of substance had gone before. Here we get the uncanny suspicion that “Hook” was written and directed according to the famous recipe of the country preacher who told the folks what he was going to tell them, told them, and then told them what he had told them.

Entertainment Weekly

Peter Pan, who is now a 40-year-old attorney named Peter Banning (Robin Williams), has returned to Neverland, flying there on a cloud of fairy dust to rescue his two children, whom Hook has kidnapped. Hook is eager for a showdown, but Peter, who has no memory of his life as a puckish sprite, isn’t up to it. He’s flabby, anxious — the sort of careless, selfish father who has one ear glued to his cellular phone and who never shows up at his son’s Little League games. Hook has granted him three days’ grace, so that the Lost Boys can whip him back into shape. Can Peter regain touch with the wild child he once was?

It’s hard not to bring great expectations to Hook — Spielberg’s attempt, after nearly a decade of hyperkinetic roller-coaster rides (the Indiana Jones series) and misguided forays into the Real World (The Color Purple, Empire of the Sun, Always), to return to the pure-hearted fantasy material he has brought off with more excitement and magic than any other filmmaker. Hook is jam-packed with ”entertainment value,” enough to give you your money’s worth, and to guarantee (in all probability) that Spielberg earns his. Yet something has clouded this director’s vision. Except for Hoffman’s performance, the movie is so frenetic, so bursting with movement and rowdiness and special effects, so drenched in gooey, mythic sentiment about the child within, that nothing in it quite gels. The problem isn’t that Spielberg has lost his gift for fantasy. It’s that he no longer seems to know (or care) about anything else.

When Peter arrives in Neverland, it looks like the set for some over-budgeted, cast-of-thousands musical from the late ’60s. Hook’s fantastically huge galleon dominates the local dock, and the whole place is teeming with grinning pirates and bathed in overly bright fake sunshine. Spielberg must have wanted everything to look cheesy on purpose, and as long as Hoffman is strutting up and down the deck of his ship, making juicy threats, it works. Peter and his two children (Charlie Korsmo and Amber Scott) seem to have entered a surreal Hollywood-backlot nightmare.

Peter goes off with the Lost Boys, which is when the movie should sweep us up into the wonder of Neverland. Instead, it turns into a fairy-tale aerobics workout, with Peter getting pummeled into shape at the Boys’ woodland hangout (which feels every bit as stagy and enclosed as the set for Hook’s galleon). Spielberg’s idea of childhood turns out to be a lot of noisy, macho roughhousing, which the movie inflates into junior — Robert Bly bonding. In one scene, Peter and his chief rival try to top each other with gross-out insults — a funny bit, until one of the boys smiles at Peter and says, ”You’re doing it, using your imagination!” Peter, in addition, has to discover his ”happy thought,” the equivalent of Billy Crystal getting in touch with the ”one thing” he loves in City Slickers. Except that the happy-thought business is repeated ad nauseam. Instead of letting his themes emerge naturally, Spielberg keeps punching up the mystical undertones. By the time Peter is reborn as Peter Pan, complete with green tights, a fawnlike stare, and what looks like an Elizabeth Arden perm, it’s borderline embarrassing, because this Peter has too little connection to the adult he once was. He’s so ”pure” he’s an airbrushed fantasy of born-again boyhood.

There is, of course, lots of flying, and young kids will love this stuff. You’re always aware of the effects, though, because Spielberg hasn’t integrated the matte shots, storybook backgrounds, and other technical devices into the story; they’re held up for the audience to ooh and aah over. Julia Roberts, in particular, suffers from his obsession with technical bravado. Wearing a Lulu-style pixie hairdo that doesn’t flatter her (why does everything in this movie seem left over from the kitschy ’60s?), she tries hard to make Tinkerbell into a sharp-tongued, tomboy spunkette, but she keeps getting zapped in and out of the picture. The whole movie zaps you. Spielberg piles on flashbacks, sword fights, baseball games. It’s Peter Pan redone with a channel selector.

Spielberg once made us respond to the fantastic by revealing the hidden wonder in the world around us.What’s missing from Hook is any sense that Spielberg, as an artist, remains in touch with the essential current of everyday experience. His whole vision of what it means to return to childhood seems like some whiz-bang concept derived from the media. Like Michael Jackson, he has spent too many years cloistered with his gizmos, his empire, his blockbuster dreams. The loss is everybody’s.

#hook #cinema #steven spielberg #critic

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