#also 17K HITS?? HELLO???

[wayward-sherlock]

i decided this was a better way to announce bad idea!’s birthday.

#im Funny #also 17K HITS?? HELLO??? #🫧🪴 #💛💙 #byler #wayli writes #bad idea!

[koorminii]

COLLEGESLUTS.COM — IDEA 686 | HHJ

Part one of the CSC series. You can find this series’ masterpost here. This can be read as a stand-alone, but you may have questions that will be answered in future installations. Keep in mind this is the intro.

There are three things you hate more than anything: 1. Your english Lit. professor, 2. Frat parties, and last but most definitely not least, 3. CollegeSluts.com and their founders. There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything: 1. College, 2. Back alley blowjobs, and 3. The frustrating desire to fuck you silly.

PAIRING: hyunjin x f!reader

GENRE: enemies to lovers; smut; crack; angst; college au

WC: 17k…. fear me! (also broke my record!!)

WARNINGS: reader is going through it and will continue to go through it. there’s no development for them at all in this installment i apologize (😭) reader calls skz sex-crazed demons, she’s very confused but not irrational, there’s not many warnings besides for the smut— profanity, alcohol consumption, mentions of alcoholism, annoying characters, insanely inexperienced reader, bet making, one-sided hatred, hyunjin wants to figure you out & thank god for that otherwise this series wouldn’t exist, sexual tension bottled up as hate bc yn is stupid. virgin/corruption kink, loss of virginity, overstimulation, dirty talking, unprotected sex…, creampie, fingering, pussy eating, teasing, breast play, and i think that’s it…

A/N: hi angels, i finished this in three days somehow and even though i didn’t plan on this being my post for 400, we hit it recently so this is it! and it’s fitting since a lot of people are waiting for this series <3 I hope you enjoy the first installment, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, my ask box, or in a reblog! & lmk if you want to be added to the taglist for this fic or my permanent one which is linked below! i hate writing the introduction to a fic and if you feel like this entire one-shot is pointless i promise it’s not 😭 there’s a lot of drama to come soon but i had to establish some things first!

i managed to make a playlist for this series! please enjoy 👩🏾‍💻

mlist; taglist; navi; | ⇦ previous | next ⇨

There are three things you hate more than anything.

Your english lit. professor

Frat parties

last, but most definitely not least, collegesluts. com and it’s founders.

It’s the literal bane of your existence, the reason why it’s so hard for you to sleep at night, and the one thing that makes your skin itch even more than the fuzzy sweaters your grandma knits every winter season.

Maybe if the creator of the site wasn’t such a douchebag, and maybe if the site users weren’t even worse, you wouldn’t abhor it as much as you did. But that’s a lot of maybes— ones that create a reality much different than your own and don’t make you feel much better.

You were first introduced to the hellsite in your second year of college— only made a year before. After you found out, age twenty hanging high over your head and no longer a fresh face in the school system, you’d tried and failed to get it shut down. Multiple times.

Happy, carefree people, would just ignore its existence— get on with their life, allow people to be college sluts in peace, but you couldn’t do that. Only you saw it for what it was, right? A sex site for college-goers to ruin their lives before it even started. Everyone else was too blissed out, a hand shoved in their pants every night as they watched their classmates fuck each other without fail. Only you could really see—

“Hello, can you hear!?”

Your eyebrows furrow at the voice behind you and your shoulders tighten when a finger pokes harshly at your skin.

“What?” You groan, rubbing the section of your arm that was unjustly abused. “Can you just be nice like a normal person?”

“Well, you’re an asshole so why would I be nice to you?”

“Fuck off Seungmin. What do you want?”

The only thing that betrays the fact that he heard you at all is the laugh that echoes behind you. Your chest tightens in response, and you fold your arms over your chest.

Kim Seungmin. A close fourth on your list of things you hate more than anything else. He was one of the users on the-site-that-must-not-be-named. A platinum member actually, a fact that always made your skin burn even in the coldest of weather. He was even friends with the site creators, and you wouldn’t doubt he had a hand in making it completely. He’d never been shy in supporting his use of the site, because nowadays regular cam sites were somehow uncool. He even had shirts with the college sluts logo in big, bold, letters. He was a part of one of the things you couldn’t stand. A big part of it even, but you ignored all that so you could call him your best— and one of your only— friends.

Kim Seungmin is first on the things you love, and that automatically removes him from the list of things you hate. When an arm slings itself across your shoulders you barely react, simply steering you both in the direction of your first class. It’s too early to deal with your best friend, and especially his toothy remarks and sarcasm, but you don’t say so and simply allow him to talk your ear off while you concern yourself with more important things.

Things like Hwang Hyunjin and Christopher Bang. The admins of College Sluts and the cause of the twitch in your brow. Sometimes the amount of hatred you felt for the two amazed you. To others, they were college boys— hotter than most, smart, talented, promiscuous. They had a good personality, a future, and were people a lot of other people got along with (and their other friends but you won’t get into that lest you pop a vessel).

To you, it’s agree to disagree. In short, they’ve got everyone totally fooled. Only sex-crazed low lifes actually managed to create a porn site. It’s one thing to think of it, sprawled around their dorm rooms knocked off their ass and barely sober, but it’s another thing to actually do it— work hard on it, execute such ideas— it’s completely baffling to you. How can no one see how perverted that is? You don’t even know what to call it, but the fire that erupts in your gut is enough to tell you that it’s bad.

There’s a bunch of girls and guys crowding around them, laughing and hugging and touching. Touching as if they were in the privacy of their home and not outside where others could see. It makes your chest heat up, and makes weird maggots swallow up your stomach, leaving a tingly feeling in its wake. You hate it. They’re demons. Sex-crazed demons.

“God, I’m starting to think you’re like anti-sex or something.”

You grunt.

“Literally we’re just walking by and you look like you’re contemplating murder.”

You hum.

“Jesus,” Seungmin sighs, shaking his head before waving over at his friends. More like his sinner acquaintances. Don’t get it wrong, you’re not overly religious or particularly shameful— despite how you might seem— but it’s something about that entire group (Seungmin sometimes included) that makes you feel like breaking something. Choking something? Crying? Screaming? You’re not sure anymore.

When you catch Hyunjin’s eye he smirks and you frown. Just the sight of him is enough to make your head hurt and your knees weak. At least, that makes sense to you. The rest of the student body? Not so much.

You hoist your bag up on your shoulder and tear your gaze away from him. Your building isn’t much farther and if you squint really hard you can pretend you don’t see Hyunjin approaching from the corner of your eye. It’s a hot day and when he sidles up to you, shoulders almost touching, it gets much hotter.

“Hey,” he greets, slapping palms with Seungmin and holding one down low for you. Your hand hesitates, almost greeting him in return before you slap his arm and send a glare his way.

“Bye,” you grit, turning your head away from him and grabbing at Seungmin’s arm. “I have somewhere to be.”

“Loosen up!” He calls, his long legs easily catching up to your fast pace. “I just wanted to say hi to my favorite girl.”

Your breath stutters the tiniest bit but you ignore it, not bothering to grant that remark an answer. Hyunjin is flirty. Too flirty. Stupid flirty. The kind of flirty that gets girls like you all riled up even when you’re supposed to be hating him, even when you’re supposed to curse the very ground he walks on, and it just makes the dreadful maggots in your system start up their annoying fluttering.

Seungmin doesn’t say anything, even when your grip on his arm tightens at a painful rate. You will your heart to stop beating so damn hard and for your entire body to stop reacting so easily to him. You don’t even know him so why does he hold so much influence over you? Someone like him? Someone who spends their time and their intelligence on a haphazard college porn site? No. No way.

“What do you want, Hyunjin?”

The devil with the long brown hair, and soft cheeks, and cute dimples takes the chance to lean close to your ear, making sure you hear whatever it is he has to say.

“Don’t be too mad at me, bug. I just wanted to tell you that you look gorgeous today.” Hyunjin pats your cheek, smiling before he leans away, turning back the way he came.

“See you later.”

And that’s that. The sex demon comes to set your cheeks ablaze and leaves once he’s done, letting you deal with your muddled feelings on your own. Once you start walking again, ignoring the stare boring into your cheeks and the confusing pounding of your heart, there’s only three words on your mind.

Fuck Hwang Hyunjin.

There are three things Hyunjin hates more than anything:

1. College

2. Back alley blowjobs

3. The frustratingly clear desire he has to fuck you silly.

Hyunjin isn’t sure when he realized it exactly. He doesn’t even know why he reacts to you so strongly. If you were anyone else he probably wouldn’t give you a second glance. He’s sure of it. Maybe it’s the desire to want something you can’t have, or the fact that you aren’t groveling at his feet.

It’s not like Hyunjin has any idea of why exactly you’re so hellbent on hating his guts, nor does he really care all that much. So you don’t like College Sluts, that’s your right as is anyone else’s, but it’s not like he’s shoving the damn shit in your face. He minds his business, manages his porn site, and does it all with a smile on his face. You, though? It’s a miracle he’s seen you smile once. And that was when he wasn’t paying attention and knocked into someone carrying a full tray of food.

Chan laughs at him all the time and so does Minho, wondering if he has some weird kink for wanting people who clearly don’t want him back, but more and more he’s thinking that isn’t the case. He’s always been bold, always been a bit flirty even when he wasn’t trying, and he knows he’s easy on the eyes. It’s not a secret, but your reaction to him isn’t one of disdain or clear attraction, but rather confusion, and that confuses him.

He flips the mic in his hands, switching between cradling it and flinging it every which way. The speakers of the karaoke system effectively drag him from his thoughts as the music gets louder and Jisung spins Felix around on their makeshift stage. Whoops and hollers echo from around them, the rest of their friends cheering at the performance in front of them. Hyunjin can’t bring himself to laugh even as a smile threatens to take hold of his features.

“Yo, what’s up with you?” Jisung plops down beside him, slinging an arm around Hyunjin's shoulders as puffs of breath leave his lips. “You’ve been sitting here brooding. What’s going on?”

“I don’t brood,” Hyunjin argues, though he maneuvers his body so he can tell Jisung exactly what has him brooding. “It’s just— I’m still thinking about Y/n.”

“Bro.”

“It doesn’t seem weird to you?”

“Weird that she’s just not interested? This is a new low, Hyunjin. Not everyone is gonna be attracted to you—”

“I know, but that’s not what I’m saying. Doesn’t her whole attitude towards us seem a bit excessive? All over a website.”

“It’s not your typical website.”

“Sung, it’s probably one of the safest porn sites out there because of how exclusive it is. No one but students here can get on it.”

“Does she know that?”

“That’s my point,” Hyunjin sighs, running a hand through his hair before starting again. “If she doesn’t even know the full details of the site, how can she possibly hate it? Hate us?”

Jisung pauses, looking back towards the stage. It’s true that all eight of them have thought about this at least once. They know there’s people who hate the website, who steer clear of it in all instances, but none who have made petitions and gone to the superintendent requesting an audience about it. No one who’s actively been so hateful to them specifically, refusing to look in their direction unless it’s to send a glare their way.

“Maybe there's another reason?” Jisung offers, sending Hyunjin a sideways glance. “I mean, maybe she just hates porn.”

Hyunjin snorts at that. How can anyone hate porn?

“You’re laughing but I’m dead serious. Has she ever even had a partner?”

“How the fuck would I know?”

“You think about her 24/7. I wouldn't be surprised if you knew what she ate for breakfast.”

“Not fucking funny.”

Jisung barks out a laugh, falling over into Hyunjin’s space. “Don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon.”

Hyunjin isn’t so sure but he nods anyway, allowing Jisung to go back to the stage for the next song. Hyunjin knocks back his drink, throat constricting barely at the bitter taste. He doesn’t care. He really doesn’t, but there’s something weird about your behavior and he’s more than determined to figure it out. Maybe he needs to just mind his business but fuck that, he thinks, no one is gonna hate him for no reason. Maybe he’s a little too riled up at that, maybe Jisung is right and this is a new low. Maybe he just really can’t deal with rejection well. Maybe.

Minho’s screeching into the mic does it’s hardest to ruin Hyunjin’s night, but the way the rest of his friends tackle him and attempt to steal the mic just makes him laugh, leaving a warm feeling in his chest. This is all he needs— his friends and a good drink to put a smile on his face. And the college porn site he worked very hard on, of course.

The group only gets through a few more songs before they decide to leave, deciding to ignore the fact that some of them have classes in six hours or that they’ll be nursing a bad headache for the entirety of it. Hyunjin is one of them. He laughs along with his friends as they walk, and he watches them from where he stands in the back.

Jisung has his phone out and is making a concerned face, typing furiously on the device. Either they’re having technical issues or his girlfriend is getting on his ass once again. Minho has an arm slung around his shoulders, laughing at whatever it is he’s typing and whoever it is that’s typing back. Next to them Felix and Jeongin have joined hands and Felix swings them back and forth, giggling as he does. Jeongin pretends he doesn’t like it, like usual, but Hyunjin notices the hint of a smile on his face. He always notices.

Chan and Changbin are quiet on either side of him, walking in the tranquil quiet that’s always rare for their group. It feels incomplete— Hyunjin wishes Seungmin could’ve come. He doesn’t know how the boy manages to be friends with the creators of the CSC and also be friends with its #1 hater. Maybe he’s selling secrets, telling you everything about the site, all its loopholes and glitches. Maybe he’s working against them now, coming up with a plan to shut them down once and for all, though Hyunjin doesn’t know if that’s possible.

Right after those thoughts trickle into his mind, he thinks about Seungmin wearing the handmade “merch” for the site, and doesn’t entertain them any longer. It would be ridiculous— even for him— to think that someone who repped college sluts like it was their brand would ever work even harder to tear it away.

The knot in his throat that’s been squeezing at his airways since earlier that night relaxes just a little. He’s never actually said this to anyone, but just as much as he thinks about why you hate him, he thinks about whether Seungmin will hate him too; about if he’ll lose a friend due to reasons he’s not even sure of. As much as he thinks about why you hate him so badly, he thinks about why he doesn’t hate you right back. He wonders why he— instead of wanting nothing to do with you— wants to know everything about you. Why he wants to understand you when you’ve made no effort to understand him, or worse, made up your own mind about who he is without even attempting to entertain the idea that maybe you’re wrong.

Hyunjin has lived his whole life suffering from other people's ideas of him, from their expectations that they held with no prior consultation with him, from the perfect picture of him in their minds that didn’t correlate with the real Hyunjin. He’s had his fair share of wondering, thinking, wanting. And it’s disappointing to see how even after all this time, since childhood, nothing has changed. He’s always wanted what he’s not allowed to have, but it’s not for lack of trying.

They don’t arrive at their frat house quick enough. As soon as the door opens into the building Hyunjin feels like falling asleep on the couch. It wouldn’t be the first time, but he’s also not sure what last happened on that couch. Between spilled drinks and sex that was too rushed to even make it to a bedroom he’d rather take his chances on an actual bed. Chan doesn’t bother to turn the lights on when he comes in, and the seven of them shuffle around each other, spilling into the living room or into the kitchen to grab drinks and snacks as if they didn’t just come back from eating.

Hyunjin knows he’s been distant all night but he can’t be bothered to care as he sends a quick good night his friends’ way and makes his way upstairs. The house holds eight other boys besides them and he’s surprised none of them are downstairs or hanging around even at the late hour. Though, Hyunjin reasons, most of them have girlfriends and the few others that don’t are seniors and probably pull all-nighters in the library or some shit.

Hyunjin doesn’t want to think about that. The year only started back up again a few months ago, he doesn’t need to be thinking about work anymore than he already does. He makes a good living even without a real job, so he’s taking shit day by day. It’s not like anyone else is much different. Most of his seniors are cramming because they were so carefree. Hyunjin doesn’t think about the implications of that either.

The softness of his bed is long overdue and his body sinks into the plush bedding. He strips off his shirt and pants, not bothering to make his way to a shower or put pajamas on or do anything really. He has five hours before he needs to wake back up and this is nothing if not a power nap that won’t help him get through any lectures the next day. Or, later that day rather.

Hyunjin doesn’t concern himself with that though, because there’s only one thing that’s on his mind when he falls asleep and when he wakes up, and that’s what he’s going to say to you tomorrow morning in the first class of the day.

The first thing you manage to think of when you wake up is how best you’re going to ignore Hyunjin today. You’ve been brainstorming, wondering which response will humble him the best, maybe make him speechless for long enough that you can get away. If only those getaways could last forever, you sigh, pulling a fitted tee over your head. It’s low-cut, makes your cleavage pop just a little bit more, and you add a necklace for that exact reason.

You’re not the sex-crazed demon that the CSC most definitely are, but you do like a little attention every now and again even if you don’t get that much action. Or any, really, and you’re just fine with that. It’s one of the reasons why you don’t like the CSC. There’s no reason to sexify everything, and that’s exactly what they do. People can get by just fine without it.

Just fine? Seungmin would probably jab, but he’s not here right now and he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You are just fine, but the mention of the-site-that-must-not-be-named just fills your stomach with stones and ignites your nerves like nothing else does. To you, that’s more than enough proof that it’s the CSC’s fault— not yours.

Anyway, today is the day you have to see Hyunjin bright and early, which always manages to set your day off to a bad start. No one should have to deal with him at this time of day, or any time of day, and you pity the ones that do. Seeing Chan isn’t rare, but he doesn’t talk to you like Hyunjin does. He stares every now and again, gives you a lazy smirk, and is generally sexy as much as it pains you to admit it, but he doesn’t bother you. Though you know he probably talks about you. His stares are too knowing, way too insightful even when you don’t really know each other.

The rest of the boys you’ve talked to on a few occasions. They aren’t as insufferable, but they are associated with Hyunjin and Chan and are, in fact, involved in the upkeep of the-site-that-must-not-be-named. To you, that’s more than enough reason to at the least dislike them. You don’t hold soft spots for any of them, except maybe Felix who seems way too sweet to be a sex demon, but then again, it’s always the nice ones.

Besides, it doesn’t matter what they say to you or don’t say, or if they look at you or not, or if they even know you exist. It really doesn’t matter. You shake the thoughts from your head vigorously, ashamed at the fact that you spent the first hour of your morning on them. It’s unbecoming of you. It’s good to remind yourself not to actively concern yourself with any of them, and simply fight for the site’s demolition like you’ve been doing.

Seungmin says you have no life, but Seungmin also wears T-shirts with cartoonish, glittery pink boobs and the site’s name in glittery cursive letters. You don’t think Seungmin should have an opinion.

The last time you attempted to do anything about the site was roughly two months ago, a month after school started back. You took your time to settle in, fall into a routine, and get your work and classes in order before resuming your mission. It was arduous, brainstorming and juggling school work, but it was your responsibility since no one else would work hard enough.

A quick shuffle through any of your things would tell people you were a perfectionist— articulate in your placement of items and the way you did things. Even taking the time to plan certain outings to a T, determined to make sure everything goes well. It’s not a secret how obsessive you get over things and how uncomfortable or incomplete you feel when things don’t go your way, when you have to follow someone else’s idea of how things should work. It’s the reason why most people don’t get along with you because to them you’re too controlling, too compulsive and dominating.

When you were a child that fact had bothered you. It was confusing— that was just your nature, and you wouldn’t have survived your childhood without it based on the way your parents lived. When kids would shun you, treat you like something sticky at the bottom of their shoe, it hurt your young heart. You felt apologetic simply for acting the way you always felt like you should act, for doing the things that left you satisfied after. Now, in college, no one demands classmates to get along, no one can shun you in the cafeteria and force you to eat in the library. If they don’t like you it’s fine with you, frankly it doesn’t matter. You have one goal and one goal only, and once that’s over with you can move on.

When you step out of your dorm the sun is blinding, shining down with unforgiving rays of light. All you can do is squint, tilt your head down a little and wish you had a hat. The walk to the Art’s building is long, but feels longer with how warm it is. The heat shimmies its way under your clothes and into your skin, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes.

The scenery on the walk there is always breathtaking though, the pavement that makes up the pathway to the building is closed in by blades of grass that have been cut and trimmed to perfection. Rocks make up the border between them— large smooth stones that vary in size but are more or less the same oval shape. There’s an entire garden full of all types of flowers, Gardenias, Lilies, Irises, Tulips, and even some you can’t name. At the entrance of the building there are bright lights that illuminate at least 25 feet in front of it at night, and wide hedges that have been designed to look like swans, their necks curved in a way that if they were moved next to each other they’d be forming a heart. White flowers grow inside the hedges serving to make the entire scene look more beautiful, and as much as you hate walking there, the view is unmatched.

The Art building has always been your safe haven, Art in general being your home away from home. It took a long time for you to feel comfortable studying it— always caught up in the what if. What if you can’t make a living from it? What if you end up not liking it as you grow older? What if it’s not a sustainable career? Questions that still plague you often, and stop you from putting as much of your heart in it as you’d wish. These classes are somewhat self-indulgent. A way for you to escape from the hectic mess that is your life, away from the stress of work, from the anxiety of what comes next, and from the infuriating instances that continue without your control— away from the things you can’t control so you can run to things you can. So imagine your horror when you found out Hwang Hyunjin was in the same class as you. At the same time. Doing the same thing.

It felt like your escape wasn’t yours anymore, and that the stress from your day followed you everywhere you went. It wasn’t enough for Hyunjin to pester you often— he had to be everywhere you were too.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves, setting your shoulders and regain the poise you take pride in– carrying yourself with the confidence you wish you had. It doesn’t take long for you to make your way to the entrance of the building, as you walk, having been kissed by the scorching light of the sun and brushed against by dewy blades of grass. It feels surreal and staggering to be outside alone so early in the morning, yet peaceful, for you know that it will be long before you get this chance again.

“Bug!”

Oh no. no no no. You walk faster, hoping to make it inside before Hyunjin can catch up to you. Hyunjin is never this early. He either comes right on time or late to the frustration of your teachers and peers although no one would ever say it to his face. You can hear his feet against the pavement louder and louder as he comes closer to you, catching up just when you take the first step up the stairs to the entrance.

“You didn’t hear me, bug?”

“Stop calling me bug.”

“Sorry, bug,” Hyunjin laughs, putting a heavy arm over your shoulders and bringing you closer.

You roll your eyes so hard it feels like they’re gonna stick. Maybe they should so you don’t ever have to see Hyunjin again. Maybe he’d think you look scary like that, your eyes rolled up forever. Maybe then he’d leave you alone.

Hyunjin is annoying. He always acts like you’re his friend, but you know it’s fake because why would he want to be friends with you, someone who hates everything he works hard on and hates him as well to an extent. It seems overly fake and forced to you, so you don’t ever entertain it. The last thing you need is to fall for it and then be made out to look like an idiot when he eventually embarrasses you.

“It’s too early.”

“It’s never too early, pretty.”

“It’s always too early to be dealing with you,” You groan, wrenching his arm away from where it laid over your shoulders. “Why are you talking to me?”

“Why not?” Hyunjin asks, seemingly unaffected by your attitude towards him. He shoves his hands in his pockets, his shoulders raised up to his chin in a shrug. “I like talking to you.”

You snort, looking up at him with eyebrows raised, “You like talking to me, the one person— possibly in this world— who absolutely hates you, and barely spares you the time of day?” You ask, tilting your head in mock confusion. “I’m sure this is the longest we’ve ever had a conversation, but nice try.” You squeeze his cheeks, hard, and when he swats your hand away you can’t help the giggle that you let out. If his cheeks felt like dough under your fingers you’re choosing to ignore that, wiping a hand on your jeans with way more intensity than needed.

“But see,” Hyunjin starts again, “We’re having a conversation right now and neither of us wanna choke each other.”

“Speak for yourself. I’m barely resisting the urge to punt your head like a baseball.”

It’s silent for a moment before you both burst out into a fit of giggles. Hyunjin braces himself against his knees as he laughs, his hair falling over his face as he does, and you’re not much better— staggering where you stand to laugh with him. It only takes a few seconds for you both to calm down, and slowly the reality of what happened catches up to you.

“Do you even punt baseballs?” Hyunjin snorts, and you just laugh harder.

“I don’t know, Hyunjin, if you haven’t noticed I’m at the arts building not sports.” You wheeze, fighting through another laugh. “Now I’m just imagining your head flying over the gardens.”

Hyunjin lets out another chuckle but shivers a bit at the thought. He waits for you to calm down, your giggles turning into small huffs. A hint of a smile still remains on your cheeks, and the sun shines down so strongly on your features it feels like he’s seeing an angel— like divinity right in front of his eyes. When you straighten up, he can see every movement. The way you position your bag upright, the way a bit of your gums poke out from your lips. Your lips, soft, glossy, and look the most perfect in a smile. He can see the way your eyebrows lose the tension from your laughing fit, the way the crinkle of your eyes lessen as your face relaxes. He can see everything, so he can also see when your lips fall back into a firm line, when your eyebrows go back to that angry stance they always hold when you’re around him. The way your shoulders stiffen, and the grip on your bag tightens. He can see everything, and he reminds himself the only time you laugh is when he’s the butt of the joke.

“I’m going to class,” You murmur, walking the rest of the way up the stairs and into the building without looking back or waiting for him to respond. Though Hyunjin wonders what he would’ve even said.

I’ll come with you.

We can sit together.

No, you both can’t do anything together, and more and more Hyunjin wonders why he even wants to.

“You were laughing with Hwang Hyunjin? The sex demon??” Your friend hisses from next to you, stringing a lock of hair behind her ear. “You?”

“Yes, me, Jieun.” You huff. “I can barely believe it either. What did he do to me? I hate him, I can’t show weakness by laughing around him.”

“Honey,” Jieun laughs, leaning towards you, “You can laugh. Honestly the fact that you ran away after is hilarious.”

“I didn’t run away.”

“You ran away.”

“I didn’t run.”

Jieun settles on you with a heavy stare, face slack, and you roll your eyes. “Fine, I walked away.”

“I don’t know how either of you take each other seriously.”

“I don’t take him seriously.”

“Yeah you do, babe. You refuse to laugh around him. That’s very serious.”

You snort.

“And the fact that he gives you the time of day when this is the dumbest feud possible… I just don’t understand it.”

“It’s not dumb.” You sputter, smoothing your hand over the glossy wooden desk of the classroom. “It’s…” You trail off, staring into the large windows at the side of the room. You cock your head and lean forward, jaw slack when the sex demon himself waves outside. “Oh what a stalker.” You growl, throwing up the middle finger in his direction. “He’s got his little posse following him too.”

When Jieun makes to wave back you smack the back of her head and groan when she gives you an affronted look.

“What was that for?” Jieun exclaims, bringing a hand up to rub against the back of her head.

“Don’t fraternize with the enemy,” You hiss, folding your arms over your chest and staring back at your professor.

“Are you gonna explain the feud—”

“No.”

In your opinion, class doesn’t end quickly enough. You split with Jieun at the entrance, the both of you going in opposite directions, and attempt to reorder your frazzled mind. So you laughed. A lot of people laugh at people they hate. Plus, he laughed too— so why should you be overthinking it? You’ve laughed before, in situations you weren’t supposed to, and this is no different. Now you just need to make sure it never happens again. You nod to yourself as you walk, pulling out your phone to make sure Seungmin is already at the meeting spot.

The sun is still just as ruthless as it was earlier, but a light breeze grazes your skin and rustles the trees along the sidewalk and in the field in front of you. There’s a bunch of picnic tables, some occupied and some of them not. There’s groups of friends sitting under trees, some couples, some of them alone; reading or completing assignments in the nice weather. You spot Seungmin a few tables down, a brown sweater over a collared shirt and cute glasses perched upon his nose.

You take your time walking to the table, letting your skin soak in the warmth and tranquil peace of nature. When Seungmin spots you he shuffles over, giving you some space to sit next to him and you do, mumbling a small hey before knocking your head against the table.

“You’re going to a party with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Seungmin… Hi, how are you? How was your day? No, I’m not.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“Well, unless you’re going to drag me, no I’m not.”

“I just might,” Seungmin sighs, “Why are you so difficult?”

“Difficult? You’re the one being difficult. I don’t want to go and you’re telling me it’s not a choice.”

“Because it’s not.”

You let out a groan, a long torturous one that has people turning their head to a straight faced Seungmin and you who’s head is still knocked against the table. When people think it’s stopped it starts all over again, a guttural groan filled with displeasure and frustration that loosens your chest when it’s done.

“Are you done?”

“Leave me alone.”

“It’s on Saturday. I can pick you up.” Seungmin says instead of arguing.

“Today’s Thursday.” You whine, just stopping yourself from letting out another groan— one that wouldn’t ever stop for as long as you have to deal with Kim Seungmin and his annoying, snarky, bossy self.

“…. I’m aware.” Seungmin says, and you don’t even have to look at him to know he’s making a face like and so what?

“I can’t stand you, I hope you know that. No type of warning, no preparation… I don’t party. I need at least two weeks to mentally prepare myself and another two weeks to get an outfit.”

“Damn.” Seungmin says, but he rubs a hand against your back, lightly pushing you to lift your head from the table. “Listen, I’ll help you. And it’s being thrown by people I know so you don’t have to worry. I don’t think many people throw college parties a month in advance but I’ll keep that in mind.”

All you can do is nod, waiting patiently as Seungmin finishes whatever assignment he’s working on. You’ve already completed the ones you have, the pro of not having much else to do and being on top of things always. Everyday you both meet up here, either at a table or under one of the trees and talk. Read, finish assignments, or even eat snacks. There have been some times where you meet there and then go somewhere else together, rarely off campus but it happens, and you get something to eat or go on a mini adventure. It’s the highlight of your day and you’re sure it is for Seungmin too, but you’d never admit that to each other. You don’t have to, though, because you’re both always on the same wavelength especially when it counts the most.

Though now he’s given you something else to worry about, that being this sudden party. It’s no doubt being held by a frat house, and you have an inkling which house it is. You haven’t asked, trying not to pop the bubble of secureness that surrounds you. You can go to a party being held by the CSC. You can, and you will, and if it isn’t being held by them then that’s even better. You try to convince yourself you really don’t care at all, but the thought remains. Can you really enjoy yourself at a party being held by them? You don’t know why it bothers you so much or why you feel so uncomfortable having a good time around them, but you just keep repeating the same thing to yourself over and over. It doesn’t matter.

“Jieun told me what happened this morning.”

“Of course she did.” You sigh, staring ahead at the group of squirrels running up a tree. The people under it startle when leaves start to fall over their heads. “We just left each other, how did she find the time to text you all that?”

“She called me,” Seungmin cackles, braces on full display as he scribbles furiously into his notebook. “Every story I hear about you and Hyunjin is against my will.”

“Every interaction between me and Hyunjin is against my will,” You counter, shifting so that you face him. “What did she say?”

“That you laughed with him and it embarrassed you. That you’re confused about your feelings towards him.”

“So are you two my therapists now? I’m not confused. I don’t like the things he does— I don’t like his carefree attitude, how he has no problem talking to me like we’re friends. I don’t like- No, I hate the fact that so many people fucking praise him because he created some crude porn site.”

Your heart rate picks up, your hand gripping at your jeans as a poor attempt to conceal your growing frustration. “I don’t like the fact that no one else sees what’s wrong with it. We shouldn’t have a fucking porn site for college students? I don’t think we should know what we all look like under our clothes and I’m tired of everyone acting like I'm the crazy one. He’s the perverted one, the weird one. Who the fuck thinks of something like that? It’s not just him, it’s all of them.”

Seungmin ponders your words, the grip on his pen tightening ever so slightly. “Hyunjin is a good guy. All of them are, and if that’s how you feel then why do you talk to me? I use the site, I'm their friend, I’ve helped them out when making it. Aren’t I weird and perverted too?”

You sigh, “Seungmin…”

“Help me understand. Because if you can stand to be around me, then why can’t you be around them? Or try.”

“It isn’t the same and you know it. It’s easy to ignore it when it’s you. That’s them. They are the CSC to me. A reminder of everything I hate, what I want to get rid of.”

“But why the hell does it matter? People want to use the site and that’s why they do. No one is fucking forcing it.”

“You guys just don’t understand it. None of you do. It’s like you’re blinded by it or something.”

“We’re grown adults, Y/N,” Seungmin growls, “We don’t need you to be a guardian fucking angel.”

“Don’t make me out to be the bad guy, just because all you fucking care about is sex or some college sluts, like can you actually be that shallow?”

“Why is it so hard for you to see reason? Do you see how angry you’re getting at me for asking a simple question? You asked me what Jieun said and I told you.” Seungmin spits, shutting his book with a slam.

“Stop asking me about that site. Stop making me seem like some confused hateful person just because you’re too dense to understand where I’m coming from. I’m not confused, I know exactly how I feel. I try not to bring it up because you like the damn thing so much, and you can’t seem to hold the same courtesy for me.” You stand from the seat, settling a dark glare at Seungmin’s angered form.

“Fuck your friends, fuck that site. Stop talking about me like I need guidance.”

You’re not irrational. You’re not. You have every right to be angry. Seungmin is your friend. Jieun is your friend. They’re supposed to be there for you, not gang up on you. You feel alone, so alone in everything you fight for, in everything you aim to conquer— as if the things you stand for don’t matter. It reminds you of middle school all over again, of high school— having people look at you like you were something from another planet. Someone people had always failed to understand. It’s lonely. You’re not irrational.

You didn’t blow up. You’re not angry. You’re frustrated, yes, but you don’t blow up. You don’t get mad. You aren’t irrational. Anyone else in your position would feel the same, right? Anyone else would be upset because it feels like your friends always take the side of the people you despise more than anyone else. Why aren’t they on your side? Why don’t they believe you? Why don’t they understand? It makes you feel stupid. It makes you feel like you have no right to feel the way you do. It’s lonely.

You’ve never been irrational. You’ve always had a good grip on your feelings. Always. And when it feels like the grip loosens it’s always the cause of something relating to the CSC. It’s proof that it’s what the root of your problems is. It’s proof that the CSC needs to be gone so you can finally go back to normal. So you don’t feel like the odd one out. So you don’t have to feel so upset. Because you’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way. You don’t get mad. You’re not angry. You don’t blow up.

You control everything, you control your actions, your emotions, and you make sure to hold control over your environment— of how things play out for every second of your life. This feels like it’s running out of control. That the CSC brings havoc in your life no matter what— even when you try to ignore it, it comes running back to fuck you over even further. You’re not irrational. You’re not confused. You don’t get mad. You don’t. You don’t blow up. You control everything.

The sun hides right when you need it. You pretend tears don’t blur your vision, you pretend that the suddenly gloomy environment doesn’t affect you the way it does. You pretend that the once comforting breeze doesn’t feel sharp against your exposed skin. You pretend because when things run out of control that’s all you can do. Pretend you’ve got it handled, pretend that you still have a grip on things, pretend that you understand. You’re not irrational. You have every right to feel this way.

You never argue with Seungmin. Playful bickering from time to time or you two being rude to each other but always playfully. You’ve never cursed at him so maliciously, spoken to him like he was someone random, as if he wasn’t your best friend. You’ve never done those things— but you do when the CSC is involved. You never get pissed at Jieun, even when she’s annoying, even when she acts like the only thing important in life is the new boy she’s talking to— You don’t get mad. You’re not mad now, but you’re something. Something fiery, and everything always goes back to the CSC. You’re not irrational. You’re just the only one who understands.

Right when you see the blurry form of your dorm building it gets blocked by a large body and you slam right into its chest. You can barely see in front of you and you know your face is screwed up into the worst form imaginable, tears falling with no control. Without your control.

“Sorry, excuse me,” You laugh wetly, sidestepping whoever is blocking your way and running up the steps to your dorm. The sooner you fall into your bed and cry this out, the sooner you can forget about it. The sooner you can apologize and move past this weird limbo of feelings. It feels like purgatory, stuck in the in between, not sure which direction you’ll end up going in. It’s full of unsureness, of frustration. It feels like a loss of control. It angers you, makes you feel like nothing is going right.

But you don’t get angry. You’re not irrational. You don’t get mad. You pretend, because that’s all you can do.

Hyunjin is confused.

The last thing he expected to see this morning was you laughing, but now, he realizes the last thing he ever expected to see was you crying. Eyes glossy with tears, a nose rubbed raw, face screwed up into something pitiful.

Hyunjin doesn’t know a lot of things. He doesn’t expect a lot of things, but most of all he doesn’t know how to continue after seeing it. He doesn’t expect to care so much, not after the way you’ve regarded him. After the way you’ve both regarded each other. He doesn’t know why he can’t walk away and say nothing when he knows he should. If he brings it up you’ll get defensive, be embarrassed, be angry. He shouldn’t say anything.

He keeps walking, frowning slightly at the gloomy clouds. It was so sunny less than an hour ago. Things change so quickly, it doesn’t make any sense. He thinks back to earlier that morning, the light that shone on your face with every laugh you let out. He thinks back to just a few seconds ago. How dark shadows fell over your face as tears ran down your cheeks.

The walk is more automatic than anything else. He doesn’t take the time to stare at the scenery, he doesn’t look at the people around him. He barely sees the ground in front of him as he walks, his mind not registering what’s right in front of his face. He’s too caught up in you. Like usual, wondering why you do the things you do, why you feel the way you feel, wanting to understand. What did he do? What can he do to make you feel better? How can he make you hate him any less? He wants to understand, he wants to listen, to talk to you, to be near you. It confuses him.

His phone vibrates, pulling him from his thoughts. It’s chan, texting about the party on Saturday, and he sighs, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He’s so tired, tired of running around for parties, tired of attending to the site, tired of waking up early for classes. He just wants a second to sit down and relax, to not worry about you ruining the one thing he’s worked hard for, to not worry about what class he’s flunking, about what party he’s expected to attend, to not worry about why you were crying in the middle of the afternoon. He just wants a moment to collect his thoughts and free his mind.

HJ: I got it

BC: alr cool, put it in the cabinet with the lock, you know how Hyunjoon gets

HJ: Fuck, is it that bad?

BC: he’s an alcoholic bud, it’s that bad.

Hyunjin laughs a little, stuffing his phone back into his pocket. He wonders if Seungmin told you about the party yet and grimaces, wondering if that’s the reason why you were crying. If it is, he’s not sure who needs to get a grip. You, for hating him so bad, or him for continuing to try and get you not to. It takes a lot of effort for him to continue the power walk back to the frat, but he arrives sooner than later, stuffing the bag of drinks inside the cabinet and locking it shut. He thinks it’s a bit ridiculous that they have to lock the alcohol up as if they have small kids running around, and also wonders the effectiveness when Hyunjoon lives in a frat house and is an adult who can buy his own alcohol.

It’s Thursday afternoon but he finds that he’s not as excited for a party as he should be. Usually, he’d be bouncing on his heels, counting down the hours for it to start, and realizing he’s so caught up in everything else going around he doesn’t feel that normal excitement that he so often does. He makes sure to fix that, shaking the unnecessary thoughts from his head, pushing responsibilities to later. He has a party to prepare for and he's gonna act like it.

The rest of the boys don’t get back till later— they’d given Hyunjin the responsibility of buying cups and drinks and shitty snacks while they went off somewhere else. Hyunjin can’t keep track of what they do especially if he’s not joining, so he focuses on doing what he’s supposed to in order to make this the best party of the year so far. His frat has always held the record of best parties— has always held their winnings in high regard as well, and he’ll be damned if he gets the cold shoulder if he’s the reason the party isn’t as good as it should be. Most of all, he’s thinking about what he’s gonna do during it.

Hyunjin is not shy on having sex— never has been, never will be, and more often than not he’s having it. Sure, that may be expected since he made a literal porn site, but Jisung also had a hand in it and he has a girlfriend. Felix doesn’t have one-night stands often, nor does Seungmin. It’s different for all of them.

He knows there’s a few girls that have been actively trying to get in his pants, knows that he’s been trying to get into theirs, but he can only hope he can focus on them for long enough to do so without thinking about you. If you come, he knows that there’s no chance he’ll think of anything else, and he’ll probably spend the entire night just getting you to laugh again. To get you to explain to him why. why why why. It’s confusing, but he pretends it doesn’t matter.

Thursday comes and goes too quickly, and Friday does as well. The day isn’t over yet, it’s only the afternoon, but the implications of that make you anxious. Make your nerves ignite far more than they should.

Seungmin didn’t answer your calls for the rest of that Thursday. Didn’t read or respond to a single text until you decided to leave him alone. Jieun called, but you didn’t answer. You think the way you felt towards her is the way Seungmin felt towards you. Maybe something worse, so you gave him space and took some for yourself, a moment to really think about what made you react the way you did. You don’t think you’re in the wrong, you still don’t think you could’ve reacted any other way and you’re not sure what that says about you.

You take another bite of your sandwich as you walk down the street from the Art store, your phone cradled in your other hand and a drink poking out from the opening in your bag. It’s hard to mentally prepare for things that you don’t know anything about. You don’t know where the party is, who’s hosting it, how long you’re expected to stay. Thought that’s if you’re even still going. You want to take Seungmin’s silence as an answer that no, you aren’t, but you also don’t want to assume that and then he shows up at your door and you’re not ready.

You don’t want to go, not at all, but if it made Seungmin happy then you would. If he didn’t come to pick you up you briefly entertained finding your own way to the party and cornering him, forcing him to hear your apology before leaving and soaking your pillow with tears. But you don’t know where the party is. You also briefly entertained the idea of calling Jieun and asking her, but you’re not interested in the lecture that would come from that. You still don’t appreciate her words about you to Seungmin and the implication of them. Seungmin is your friend, you can tell him what happened all by yourself. You don't need Jieun to play messenger.

You swallow the last of your lunch and throw the wrapper in the nearest trash can. You want to start a new painting, one that can unleash the frustrations of your life as it is right now, and you can only do that by getting some new supplies. You save up constantly for this exact reason— for the ability to buy whatever your heart desires whenever it desires it. You dip your toes into whatever interests you, and all concepts of Art satisfies you more than anything. Writing whatever you desire, taking pictures of the things you find beautiful, painting whatever you want— it gives you the control that fuels you more than anything else.

The art shop by your university is quaint, always quiet and never very full, yet always filled with high quality supplies and fully stocked. You’ve made friends with the old lady who owns it and her daughter, constantly going there just to buy something in order to catch up with them on whatever has happened since your last visit. They’re like the mother and sister you never had, people who feel more like family than your own. It’s partly for that reason that you’ve made the trek there, hoping to get some advice for the things you’ve been feeling before going to the party that’s undoubtedly being held by the one group of people you despise.

The bells above the door jingle when you step in, and you let the smell of paint, chalk, crayons, pens, and faint air freshener soothe you. It’s just as cluttered as it’s always been— stacks upon stacks of sketchbooks and canvases on one side situated next to the easels and small desks. The paints have a section of their own, oil, watercolor, acrylic, matte, and more— on the opposite side there’s pens and crayons, colored pencils, oil pastels, and sharpeners of all shapes and sizes.

The walls are covered in paint as if before bringing in all the items they’d had fun splattering the walls in color. It’s messy, unruly, cluttered, and barely organized— so it doesn’t make sense to you why it comforts you so much. When you see a small form hobble out from behind a stack of books a smile forms unbiddenly on your face, and the small old lady smiles back.

“I missed you, dear,” She scolds, wrapping you up in a hug. “It’s been too long since you’ve come to visit.”

“I know, I’ve just been busy Ms. Yang. I missed you.” You sigh, rubbing your nose in the soft fabric of her sweater. She smells like paint and flowers— she smells like home.

“Sam will be here soon, she’d love to see you.”

“Yeah, that’d be nice. I need to talk to her too.”

“I can tell, child. You look stressed.” She sighs, shuffling behind the counter and sitting on one of the other seats behind it. “Get what you’re looking for,” She says waving a hand dismissively towards you.” I won’t make you explain it twice.”

You huff lightheartedly, making your way over to the canvases and picking one of medium proportions. You’re still not sure what it is you want to paint, but you know whatever you’re feeling is strong enough that you grab Oil paint, needing something rich and vibrant and something sharper to contrast the muddled and cloudy image of your mind.

It’s before long that you settle on a brand you normally buy, and the set of bells signal someone’s arrival into the shop. You turn your head, expecting to see Sam and her long curly hair, beautiful in its volume and her tawny brown skin, but instead you’re greeted with the sight of straight brown hair, swept behind the ears of a tall man, a mole under his eye and the reason for all your problems. You don’t know why you react the way you do, but with your items cradled in your hand you sprint behind a large stack of sketchbooks and hold your breath, staring with wide eyes at the cans of paint at your feet.

What the fuck is Hwang Hyunjin doing at your shop? This is your safe place— your safe haven. A part of you curses the ground he walks on, hopes that the store is too messy and cluttered for his liking, prays that he proves he’s as shallow as the company he keeps and that he leaves and doesn’t come back. Another part of you hates yourself for being so ridiculous. For letting your personal feelings about him delve so far that you’d think something like that. Sam and Mrs.Yang deserve the business, deserve the money, deserve the customers. You shouldn’t hope for anything different— but it still amazes you how he never fails to intrude on the things you hold dear. To intrude on the things you want to keep to yourself.

You don’t move from the spot you’re in. It could’ve been ten minutes, an hour, even, or maybe it was only thirty seconds, but you only peek out when you hear Sam’s voice ring through the shop. You survey the room, stepping out from your hiding spot when you confirm that Hyunjin is nowhere to be found. Though, you don’t think you could’ve hid regardless by the way Sam calls your name.

“Hi, Sammy,” You smile, coming up to pull her into a hug. She grips you tightly, her kinky hair tickling your cheek and her clothes smelling faintly of vanilla and roses. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, hun,” Sam smiles, albeit a little sadly as she looks over your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Hey, don’t leave a poor old lady out,” Mrs. Yang huffs, “Come over here and tell us both about it.”

Without even saying anything they’ve already cheered you up, your steps feeling lighter as you make your way behind the counter and sit on one of the three seats. You sit between them both, their eyes set patiently but concerningly on you.

“I don’t know, really,” You start, and then, you tell them. About your argument with Seungmin, about how lonely it is feeling like you’re the only one feeling this way, about how much the site angers you— how it makes you feel. You tell them about Hyunjin, about how he doesn’t stop bothering you no matter how much you make it obvious you don’t want his company. How much that frustrates you, as well, and about how the lack of control over the entire situation, and over the CSC’s place in your life makes you uncomfortable, and about how the CSC itself makes you feel things you’ve never felt before and how much that scares you. You can barely describe the way it does, and who else can you blame besides its creators.

When you’re done it feels like you’ve vented a lifelong event, it makes a heavy weight lift itself off your shoulders and the heavy silence that remains doesn’t feel like judging, but rather them trying to understand— soaking up the meaning of every word you said in an attempt to place themselves in your shoes.

“I think,” Sam starts, “That your cluelessness about your feelings towards the site in general turns into anger, and the fact that the boy,”

“Hyunjin”, You offer.

“Yes, I think his attempts at speaking to you only worsen it somehow, like you’re being cornered by this weird feeling that you don’t understand and it makes you even angrier.”

“You said your friend is a part of it?” Mrs.Yang interjects, a wrinkly hand kneading your shoulder.

“Yeah,” You murmur, “He’s good friends with the group and he loves the website.”

“That probably doesn’t help then,” She continues, “If you’re surrounded by people who know what they like or enjoy something you don’t like or don’t understand, of course you’re going to feel angry. You feel like the odd one out.”

“I think more than anything you need to figure out if it’s really anger you’re feeling, and if the only reason why you hate this website is not because of its purpose but because of your lack of control over it.” Sam finishes.

“I can’t say I agree with it either,” Mrs.Yang grunts, “It’s not something I think college students need to be worrying about. Things like that stick with you, but it’s their choice to indulge in it, Y/n, you can’t control that.”

You sigh. You guess so, but you still feel like you need to get rid of it. You’ve been slacking, not paying attention to it as much as you should because of all the chaos it’s creating. It’s been a while since you’ve done a petition or made a list of ideas as an attempt to shut it down, but for now it seems like enough to just hate it. They can’t change your mind. Not Seungmin, not Sam, not Jieun, not Mrs.Yang, not Chan or Changbin or Minho— not any of them, and especially not Hyunjin. You just want to be hateful in peace and you don’t know why you don’t seem to be allowed to do that.

You leave the shop feeling lighter, but also like you didn’t actually get any good advice. Sure they validated your feelings, but that’s it. You’ve been trying to figure out your feelings. You know why you’re frustrated, and even though it felt good to be validated it also felt like a waste. You hold the bag of art supplies closer to you as you walk. The sun is setting, painting the sky reds, and oranges, and purples— and you think maybe you’ll paint that. To represent the end of the turmoil that surrounds you, as something hopeful.

You relish in the soft slope of your shoulders, in the relaxation you so rarely feel nowadays, and walk briskly to your dorm so you can fall into your bed and try to forget about the fact that there’s a party you’re supposed to be at tomorrow.

And as if the thought brought it on, your phone buzzes in your pocket. You pull it out quicker than you’d ever admit and a relieved smile pulls on your lips when you see it’s from Seungmin.

pup: be ready by 9

you: ok!!!!!

you: i miss you

There’s no more responses but you don’t let that dampen your mood. He still wants you to go with him and that says enough. You do feel terrible about the way you acted— the way you’ve been acting— but you know it’s justified. You’re not irrational. Not at all.

If you collapse at the foot of your bed, art supplies sitting on the floor by your feet, and a paper by your head titled #686, no one has to know.

This Saturday has not been a day of relaxation for you. You didn’t have any plans, though instead of enjoying the peace you so rarely received, the day consisted of you running around your room with a frazzled energy following behind like a ghost. At first you contemplated showing up in a sweater and jeans; no makeup, no jewelry, just you and a lazy fit— but realized that would only bring you even more stares than if you dressed as slutily as possible.

It’s with a black leather mini skirt and a black, lacy, low cut long sleeve tucked inside that you finally allow yourself to relax. You’re probably dressed way too flashily for a college party, but you can’t entertain any thoughts like that or you’ll spend the next three hours obsessing over it— and that’s three hours that you don’t have. Knee length boots stare at you from the door and it’s with a sigh that you walk to the door and put them on.

There’s more reasons to be nervous than just the party, between the inevitable walk with Seungmin to the encounter you’re most definitely going to have with the CSC and all of its users, you’re out of your element. There’s not enough deep breaths to make you calm down, there’s no method available to help clear your mind. Your heart races much more than should be healthy. It feels like hell, even, and all you can do is let this plethora of nerves run its course.

When your phone buzzes with Seungmin’s ‘I’m outside’ text, it almost feels like your heart stops. Fuck, Seungmin’s gonna ask who you’re all dressed up for, gonna ask why you’re so nervous. Why are you all dressed up? Why are you even going? It’s too much, too much of not knowing, not understanding, not feeling right. What will it take to get you to feel right? Like in freshman year when your biggest worry was whether or not you were passing your classes, now it feels like that's a lifetime ago. Like you’ve encountered way too much to even consider anything like that— not that you need to worry about it anyway. It was supposed to be a carefree year for you. You’re always on top of your responsibilities, always prepared, and nothing ever changed that until you went on that site for the first and last time.

You stop, relax your shoulders, take a deep breath that’s otherwise pointless, and step out the door. You curse the day you ever went on that website. It’s why everything is all messed up now, but you rid those thoughts from your mind. You’re determined to have fun tonight no matter what, and no matter who’s there.

Seungmin waits at the door, A button-down hanging off his shoulders and jeans. His hair is combed back and he’s ditched the glasses.

“Hey.” It comes out meeker than you’d like, a little too timid for what your relationship with Seungmin is.

“Hey,” he smiles, the braces you love so much on full display. Your best friend is beautiful, and it’s with a pang to your chest, it’s with seeing him now— so welcoming and so normal with you— that a small part of you realizes maybe you have been being irrational. Maybe you have been acting too strongly, but then you remind yourself that you’ve never been irrational. Never.

“So I’m guessing we’re going to the CSC’s dorm?”

“You’ll fit right in,” Seungmin laughs, starting to walk. You struggle to catch up to him; it’s been so long since you last wore heels that it’s hard to get used to. You don’t grace his comment with an answer, simply relishing in the soft nightly breeze and the shine of the moon. The stars glitter from above you, light years away yet so visible. So sure of their stance in life. You don’t think stars blow up at their best friends, or feel confused, or feel lonely.

You arrive at the party all too soon. From a block away you could see people drunk, staggering in the same direction, and from down the street you could hear the bass of the music, but the warning signs weren’t nearly enough to prepare you for the actual sight of it. It’s like the typical house parties you’d see on TV, but louder and more nerve-wracking. People hang out in front, the music loud enough for them to enjoy even from outside the building. Lights flash from behind the window, an array of purples, greens, reds, and blues. You can see people's shadows from behind the curtains over the front windows, and you feel like you’re about to throw up.

“Oh god,” You mumble, taking a few shaky steps inside. You can't do this. You’re gonna freak out and embarrass yourself. You can almost feel the anxiety seeping from your pores, and the word no repeats over and over in your head like a mantra.

No no no no no.

You can’t do this, but you do it anyway. Stepping inside the party is a feat in itself, and you can’t tell if your hands are shaking from the strong bass of the music or because of pure anxiety. The music knocks into your body so strongly that your knees buckle, barely able to hold you upright. At any moment you feel like you might collapse.

You can’t do it but you do it anyway, taking one step and then another, and when the door closes behind you, you resist the urge to turn back and run away. The party is full of people— so full that it’s impossible to walk anywhere without bumping into someone, and despite your best efforts you do get stares. Whether it’s because of what you’re wearing or if it’s because it’s you at a party being held by the CSC… you’re not entirely sure. You don’t think it makes a difference. You try to ignore it, act unbothered, and it must work because after a while they look away, murmuring something or the other about what you’re doing there.

Seungmin drags you away from the door and to the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge and cabinets like it’s his home. You take in the somewhat chill vibe of the kitchen compared to everywhere else. It’s not nearly as full, but there are couples at opposite ends acting as if it isn’t a place where food is kept.

You take a few deep breaths, reassure yourself that you can do this, and even if you can’t you’ll do it anyway. Seungmin doesn’t say anything, just pours you something sweet and fruity in a red cup and hands it over with a raise of his eyebrows. You drink it way too quickly and you know you’re gonna regret it later, but you need the effect it’ll bring. The faux calmness that’ll help you get through the night. Though with how full the party is you think that you won’t be able to see the hosts anytime soon if at all, and that’s enough to bring your heart to a stuttering stop before it resumes its beating in a much more slow paced manner. You’re still not calm, but you’re doing your best.

“Try to relax,” Seungmin chides, his gaze heavy where it bores into you. “Everything will be just fine.”

You nod, taking a more calculated sip of your drink this time. You let the music relax you instead of startle you— focusing on the beats and the melody— on the lyrics, instead of the volume and how it makes your body tremble. You can do this.

When you finally feel like you’re able to relax, Seungmin parts from you, saying there’s some people he has to see. You’re an adult, so you can handle being alone for a few minutes. Eventually, though, the few minutes turn into something longer. You wonder if maybe Seungmin is still upset with you— you didn’t speak much about it on the walk like you thought you would. Honestly, it was mostly silence, and you didn’t think much of it before but you are now. You hold your drink close to your chest, dubbing it your life line for the night.

You last all of thirty minutes before you feel like you’re getting too hot— the building only gets even more stuffy as more people arrive, all of you packaged like a can of sardines. You take the fleeting burst of confidence to leave the kitchen and go to the backyard, hoping that it’ll be a bit more peaceful (as peaceful as possible considering the music blasting), and allow the fresh air to graze your skin like a soft blanket. You sit down on one of the benches in the backyard, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. What will it take to feel at peace? Maybe there’s nothing you can do. And it’s with these thoughts that you do exactly what you shouldn’t do at a party, wallowing in self pity and confusion. You’re so caught up in these thoughts that you don’t notice when someone else joins you.

“Hey, bug.”

Your head whips up faster than what’s comfortable, and you barely hide the wince that struggles to leave your lips. Hyunjin speaks again before you can respond.

“Don’t leave, alright. Please?” He asks, sitting down beside you and smoothing his hands over his pants. “Can we talk?”

“About?”

“About us? About you? I’m tired of running in circles and I want to know why you hate me— the CSC so much.”

You’re silent for a moment, contemplating, thinking. You should get up, leave the backyard and this party altogether. You should ignore whatever it is Hyunjin has to say because he’s the reason for all this, right? Why is he always pretending he doesn’t know; acting like he wants to get to know you? Acting like it really matters how you feel. Everyone wants to understand, everyone wants to know why, but you don’t even know— but you’ll never admit it outright. You’ll never say the one thing that’s been your driven principle for the past year is something you’re unsure about. All you know is that it’s bad, that it’s made you feel ways that were foreign to you, and in order to regain control you need to get rid of it. No matter how anyone else feels about it, no matter who gets upset with you along the way. You need to do it.

Your voice is soft, but not meek. For once, you’re gonna get this entire experience off your chest. “When I first went on the site in the beginning of freshman year I was curious,” You start, glancing at Hyunjin and feeling the tightness in your chest return when you realize he’s already looking at you. “At first, I was curious, and then I was confused. I clicked on a few videos— I scrolled for a while— and I started to get this weird feeling. The more I watched the videos, the more I scrolled through pictures and posts, the feeling got stronger.”

You feel so stupid, but you continue. If Hyunjin makes fun of you he’s just proving your assumptions correct. “I’d never felt that way before and honestly, it kinda scared me, and it was annoying that I didn’t understand it. I didn’t do anything after that. I ignored how fast my heart was beating, how my body was reacting, and never went on that site again. Slowly, that confusion turned into anger— it’s not normal. The way I felt wasn’t normal, and that’s why I think that site needs to get shut down.”

“Bug…” Hyunjin laughs a little and you want to be offended, but you can tell it’s more shock than amusement. “Bug have you ever had sex? Or.. touched yourself at all?”

Your mouth opens and closes comically, but Hyunjin is patient, waiting and watching carefully for you to speak. “Is that what’s important?” You finally say, your eyebrows furrowed and you’re ready to defend yourself if need be. “No, I haven’t.”

“God, bug this is…” Hyunjin squints at you, “I think you were aroused.”

You splutter, feeling your heart rate spike in embarrassment. “What!? No. No.”

“That weird feeling? That heat in your gut,” Hyunjin says, and to punctuate he lays a large, warm, hand over your stomach. “You were horny.” This time, Hyunjin’s laugh is one of amusement, but you're too distracted by how big his hand is, splayed over your stomach and so warm it feels like it’s burning through your clothes.

“Hyunjin, the feeling— no, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Bug, if you’ve never ever been aroused before somehow, of course it felt weird. Holy shit.”

You don’t say anything, but Hyunjin continues before you can get a grip on your thoughts.

“I can’t believe this is the reason why you’ve hated us for so long, I honestly can’t believe it.”

“Hyunjin… that feeling wasn’t pleasurable. Control is pleasurable. I didn’t have a grip on anything that day and barely regained it on the days following. You can’t convince me that getting rid of the CSC won’t bring back a sense of normalcy. You can’t, and even if you’re right, I think that morally, the site is still wrong, and I’m not going to stop trying to shut it down.”

“There’s so much about the CSC you don’t know about, and there’s so much more to pleasure than control.” Hyunjin sighs, clearly more at ease now that he realizes you’re just confused. You don’t know, really, why you hate them. That’s clear. You’re stubborn though, he can tell, and even if this idea he has works— he’s not sure you’ll stop until you get what you want.

Earlier that day the CSC received an email from the dean, threatening that they’ll start looking into all that their site entails because of how often you keep badgering them about it. It’s starting to create a murmur between staff, and they’re growing increasingly frustrated. All that means to Hyunjin is you’re finally breaking through their resolve, running them down enough for them to consider shutting it down or supervising more intensely. Hyunjin can’t have that. None of them can. When Hyunjin approached you tonight he expected to have to beg— to have to plead with you to stop meddling. The site is bigger than you know, more important than some college stupidity. It rakes in a lot of cash, and he can’t have such petty reasoning stop that flow.

Hyunjin’s voice is husky as he continues and his words send an undeniable shiver down your spine “I can show you that the site, and sex by association aren’t bad at all. Mentally, you’re confused and physically, you’re pent up. We can’t have that can we, pretty girl?”

“No, we can’t.”

Wait. What? Yes, we can. Yes you can. You’ve been doing just fine right? You don’t need Hyunjin’s help. He’s not gonna change your mind because your mind doesn’t need changing.

“You can try to shut us down, but at the same time let us help you.”

“Us?” You murmur, attempting to understand what exactly is happening.

“All of us, the CSC can help you figure out what you’re feeling, right? We can help you decide what to do.”

“…You can help me?”

Hyunjin hums, removing his hand from your waist and trailing his finger along the skin just above the hem of your shirt. His fingers dip over your cleavage, tug at your necklace, up and up until your chin is in his hand, and he turns you to face him as his lips brush your cheek. “I want to see who will succeed first, so let me show you that there’s more to pleasure than control.”

He can help you. Out of all the people who ask you why, who say they want to understand but don’t try, he’s the one who’s offering a solution. As annoying as he’s always been to you, as much as he’s always embodied something you hate— the person who’s embedded such foreign feelings in your mind— he wants to help you. He wants to try, and he’s not telling you to stop your goal either. He’s not telling you it’s stupid, he’s not getting angry. He doesn’t make you feel irrational. You’re not irrational. You have a goal and it’s one you’re gonna complete, but… it doesn’t hurt to try, right? And if you succeed, if you shut them down and Hyunjin fails— if the CSC fails you’ll win. You’ll win and prove that you were right all along.

“Go easy on me.”

“Of course, bug.”

You keep your eyes downcast in embarrassment as Hyunjin whispers against your skin, his fingers gently turning your chin up and over to the point of focus. His lips. Pouty, sinfully crimson, curving upwards so surely, like they themselves know their effect on people. They look so soft, so wet. You want to feel them, and it’s as if Hyunjin’s read your mind because his lips are on yours before you can even blink.

“You just kissed me,” Your voice is airy, breathless, and usually you’d be embarrassed.

“Can I do it again?”

There’s a simmering, boiling tension both of you have been ignoring but you’ve lost the will to care about hating Hyunjin or Chan or the CSC. Momentarily, you’ve lost the will to feel much at all but a burning desire to take away any negative emotion you feel. You’re sick of it, sick of feeling confused. Last night you’d dealt with it by crying your eyes out, before that you’d dealt with it by having a screaming match with your best friend, and now you’re ready to look for something to fix it. This just might be the best way to start.

“Not outside.” You whisper, your hands clutching the fabric of Hyunjin’s shirt with such an intensity you’re afraid it’ll rip off then and there.

The trip inside and upstairs is a blur. You’re sure if anyone saw you they stared, wondering what you two were doing together, wondering what you were going upstairs for. It’s a blur, nothing is clear but what you’re going to do at this moment, and with Hwang Hyunjin of all people. Of what you’re going to do in the future, with the CSC of all people, what you’re gonna do to them— what you’re gonna allow them to do to you— that’s the only thing on the forefront of your mind. Not about who’s watching, not about who wants to know. It’s about you. You’re the one in control, you’re the one who gets to decide. You’re the one who needs to know.

Warm. You feel warm all over, pressed against Hyunjin with his thighs spreading yours open, warm in his tight embrace. Your hands are clutching at his clothes, at his arms— It’s so hot, yet somehow the constant cool air of the room makes you shiver.

“W-what do I do?”

Hyunjin chuckles, his voice the softest you’ve ever heard it. “You don’t have to do anything, pretty. Let me handle it.”

Letting Hyunjin handle anything doesn’t sound like a very good idea to you in any instance, but in this case you let him. You’re otherwise clueless in this area and frankly, if you want his help you’re going to have to accept it when it’s given. His mouth lands back on yours, a certain kind of desire running through the kiss. His hands are all over you. Trying to grab at every inch he can, and you try your best to kiss him back with equal intensity— to move your lips against his with the same fervor.

Your heart kicks up an irritating notch when Hyunjin slides a warm hand up your shirt. You can feel the way his fingers ghost over your skin with an unnatural intensity, as if his touch is amplified tenfold. And if Hyunjin had imagined this during late nights, cock shamelessly fisted in his hand as he dreamt of you pushing your panties to the side for him to enter your tight hole, no one has to know.

“Look at me, pretty,” Hyunjin growls, your eyes opening at his command against your better judgement. His pupils are dilated, staring down at you with a foreign intensity. The way he looks at you is an awakening, and with a small burst of confidence, you bury your fingers into the collar of his shirt, bringing him down for another kiss. It’s a little awkward with your inexperience, all teeth and clumsy movements until he takes the lead. His lips feel like heaven and you want them everywhere, want to kiss him forever. You want to sink his soft groans into your skin, keep the taste of him on your tongue for the rest of your days as he licks into your mouth, coaxing feelings out of you you've never felt before— kissing you into blissful dizziness.

"I wonder why you're so pretty, hm? Been torturing me for months, sweet thing," Hyunjin teases, pressing your thighs farther apart, tongue pushing against yours, his lips cherry red. You want to kiss him again. "I don’t think you really hate me, bug.”

Your breath hitches when his hands move to your skirt, slipping under the hem and holding the fabric tightly. God, you feel so bare. Like Hyunjin is looking at you from the inside out. When he pulls your skirt down slowly, so slowly it feels like time stands still, all that’s on your mind is him. His breathing, his touch, his warmth. When your pink, lacy panties come into view the chuckle Hyunjin lets out is so deep it feels like a heavy blanket over your mind, soothing you yet igniting something in you that you didn’t know existed. God, you’re in the demon's bed but you feel like you’ve gotten a taste of heaven, and when those soft, cherry red lips ghost over your skin, trailing over your pelvis, leaving light kisses along your skin, all you can do is jerk in his hold. You’re so sensitive. So, so sensitive.

His hands grip your waist tightly and his lips trail upwards, the bridge of his nose pushing your shirt up until it’s so high your breasts threaten to fall, smothering Hyunjin’s face underneath them. You shiver at the thought, those sinful lips pressing kisses against the skin of your breasts; what would it feel like? Would it feel like this? This feeling that you’re still so unfamiliar with?

"Pretty girls deserve to know what it feels like to have me right here,” Hyunjin starts, leaning down to press a trail of kisses to your inner thigh. He bites and marks along the fleshiest parts, chuckling at your quiet whimpers and yelps. You didn’t know you could make sounds like that. He slides a hand up between your thighs and rubs between your folds, still covered by your lacy panties. “Did you come to impress someone tonight?” Hyunjin murmurs, before splitting them to rub your clit through the fabric. You feel like falling as he circles between your thighs, a gasp hiccupping at the base of your throat before it gets stuck— you can’t make a sound.

You faintly hear the rustle of clothing and the absence of Hyunjin’s touch, opening your eyes to see him pulling his shirt off, biceps flexing as he does. He’s so big, and fuck, his whole body could cover your own if he really wanted. He towers over you, caging you in and surrounding you from all sides. When his shirt is off and thrown somewhere to the floor, he looms over you, his hands pressing into the bedding at either side of your head, and all you can do is gasp— your eyes widening at his proximity.

“You okay?” He whispers, and you nod.

“Yes.”

It’s breathless. It’s not you. It’s not the person who wanted nothing to do with Hyunjin only a day ago, but you want answers. You want clarity. And right now, you want this.

Hyunjin wastes no time after your confirmation, his fingers slipping under your panties and ghosting over your skin. He lets out a harsh breath at the feeling where you’re otherwise silent, trusting that he knows what to do. When a rush of cool air blows over you though, your legs close instinctively, and Hyunjin hums, “Stay with me, bug.”

“I’m here,” You respond, slowly spreading your legs back wide and allowing him to pull your underwear down until they’re hanging off ur ankle, your arousal sticks to the fabric, but with a flick of his wrist they’re gone. They’re gone. Oh god. You’re really doing this. You take a deep breath, and when a warm hand comes to cradle your cheek you lean into the warmth. It’s okay. You’re okay.

Soft lips press against your skin, tainting the unmarked flesh with bites and bruises. He paints your neck purple and blue, fingers ghosting between your thighs, tracing and playing with the obvious wetness coating your arousal. His mouth travels upwards, pressing against your own as he claims your lips in a devouring kiss. Everything is on fire, hot and burning as lust begins to entirely consume you for the first time.

A small moan slips past your lips as he dips a finger into your slick, warm cunt, and you clench around the digit almost immediately as instinct. The cool air and your nerves make your thighs tremble, but it doesn’t seem to affect Hyunjin— not at all— if the way he keeps eye contact with you while he fingers you slowly is any indicator. Painfully slow. You don’t know if this is to help you or torture you, and you can’t help the way your thighs tense under his ministrations.

The man before you reaches his other hand towards the hem of your top to pinch the edge of it between an index finger and thumb, and pulls the cloth away from your skin.

His eyes bore into yours: “This okay?”

“Fuck, the more you ask me the more nervous I get.”

“Okay, okay. I don’t wanna make you nervous.”

“Just… be nice to me, Hyunjin. Okay?”

Hyunjin smiles, and you exhale, relaxing into Hyunjin’s sheets and letting his musky cologne consume your senses as his touch roams everywhere else.

And then finally— yet all too quickly— the shirt is tugged away from your breasts and they fall freely as Hyunjin eagerly leans closer. His nose presses against one of your hardened nipples, and you watch his pupils dilate quicker than you thought was possible. He’s barely holding back the urge to fuck you dumb, and the finger that still thrusts slowly into your cunt stutters in its movements.

Look at you. His eyes roam over the look on your face, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth, bright eyes glazed over and hooded in a bliss that’s otherwise foreign to you, a particular ease directed towards him. Then he shamelessly let his eyes drop down to your thighs that tremble even harsher under his gaze. The action only forces his mind to run wild. He can’t help but wonder how you do it— looking all innocent— being all innocent but acting like you’re not. Like you’re so sure. You’re confused, god, you don’t know what real pleasure is— and it’s Hyunjin’s job to teach you. Fuck, did he want to be under you, gazing up at your through half lidded eyes, hungrily eating up the sight of you bouncing on his cock like the slut you could be.

He dipped his head down, holding your breast in his large hand and rubbing over your nipples with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the hardened bud. Your hands automatically perched themselves on his shoulders, and he grins, moving the finger thrusting into your cunt harsher, faster.

“Oh, god,” You moan, loud, your grip on his bare shoulders tightening ever so slight. His skin was warm under your fingers— soft and smooth and fuck if it didn’t feel good.

He groans, cock stiffening more than it already had. At this rate he was probably going to cum in his pants untouched, but he held himself back. He wanted to do this right— show you all that pleasure could be. He moved his mouth from your nipple to slip lower, down lower and lower still until he came face to face with your arousal.

“Fuck. You’re driving me crazy.”

“Oh- oh Hyunjin help me, please,” You pleaded, his shoulders too far to grip onto; your hands instead finding his hair, running your fingers through and pulling when he nosed at your clit, groaning heartily when your wetness clinged to his skin.

It’s with a lick to your clit that you wail, your thighs threatening to close, and they would have if Hyunjin’s hands hadn’t reached out to force them down, pushing further and sticking his face into your arousal with more fervor, licking and sucking with such vigor that it felt as if he was trying to devour you. Your thighs trembled with every movement of his tongue, poking and prodding at every inch of your cunt, his nose dug against your clit and for a moment it felt like you were seeing stars. Your eyes fluttered shut, your mouth letting out uncontrollable moans.

You didn’t think it’d feel this good. But, you remind yourself, control feels better. You can’t let him change that— he won’t change that.

The obscene sounds that came from his actions should’ve embarrassed you, but nothing like that came to mind. Hyunjin was relentless, and you couldn’t even think of anything more than the feeling of his hair between your fingers and his tongue slurping at your cunt.

You tried to quiet your moans by clamping a hand over your mouth, but sitting up and watching the way he sucked and licked at your arousal made your head spin. He made the action so nasty. So filthy. He was wild yet careful. But what did you know? All you knew was that it was driving you insane and you didn’t know anything could feel this good.

Besides control, of course. And you assume, the eradication of the CSC would, also.

Suddenly, your stomach tenses, your body locking up, and you quickly cream all over his tongue, shaky moans slipping through your pretty lips. Your thighs shook from the aftershock, trying to come down from this feeling. Afterwards, Hyunjin’s actions felt too harsh. He didn’t change pace at all, but it felt like your body was going to arch its way into oblivion. Unable to ignore the sensitivity of your body any longer, you pushed against his head until he stopped, attempting to catch your breath.

“You okay?”

You hum, begging the beating of your heart to soften, though as soon as it finally did you looked back at Hyunjin and saw his pants sliding down his legs. His toned, muscular legs, and it started its harsh beating once again. That wasn’t it? Of course, that’s wasn’t it, but fuck. You don’t know if you can handle anything more.

The headboard of his bed knocks against the wall as he climbs back up on the bed, moving his body closer this time and instead of only his chest hovering over you, this time his legs cage you in, one on either side, as your heart pounds itself into oblivion.

One hand supported his weight on the pillow by your head while the other was preoccupied, curled around his cock as he stared down at you— something akin to a beast in his gaze. Tip reddened and precum oozing from the slit while he groaned. The tingly feeling in your groin was coming back, similar to the fluttering you always felt whenever Hyunjin would come bother you. It intensifies when Hyunjin wraps your legs around his waist and pulls you closer to him, your body dragging the bedding from under you and you yelp.

He rubs the tip of his cock against your twitching folds, teasing actions feeling more like torture before he finally sinks in. Slowly, deliberately, but you still tense. It’s scary, having something stick itself inside of you.

“Relax,” Hyunjin murmurs, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Stay with me.”

You do your best, forcing your body to relax, as he sinks deeper and deeper still. Hyunjin grunts softly when you clench down on him, and he sighs as you blink dazedly up at him.

Pretty eyes are locked intensely on your cunt, Hyunjin watching the slide of his cock as he thrusts inside. His hair is plastered along his sweat slicken forehead, and he sinks back into your slick walls with another languid roll of his hips.

“Fuck you’re so tight, baby.”

You moan, high and light, your eyes fluttering closed in bliss while Hyunjin’s chest expands with a shaky breath. He rolls his hips into yours— sinking his cock into your virgin cunt saying the filthiest words you’ve ever known before his words break off into a moan, his tone lower and deeper than his playful one. Tonight you’re seeing a whole new side of him— a new persona. This isn’t the annoying Hwang Hyunjin who bothers you and calls you ‘bug’, this is the Hwang Hyunjin everyone else knows. The one you hadn’t met yet.

“Oh, please don’t stop— be nice to me,” You babble, your hands grabbing at whatever you can— his shoulders, his back, his hair; and that’s all it takes before he suddenly takes up a pace that’s a little faster, rougher as your pussy squelches, wet and messy while your arousal smears along your thighs and the sheets.

Your body jolts with each thrust, pussy clenching around him as Hyunjin moans—every twitch and squeeze of your pussy leaving him breathless. “Come on, baby,” He pleads, and you don’t know what to do. You’re too lost in the haze of pleasure that’s taken over you— you can’t hear past the slap of your skin and Hyunjin’s groans in your ear. You know you’re moaning, but you can barely hear yourself. It’s all Hyunjin. Him all over you, surrounding you, making you feel good.

He grunts as you clench down on him with another roll of his hips, sinking deeper into you with each thrust. “That’s it, pretty,” he grunts, “Taking me so well, fuck. So greedy for me.” And again, you feel that strange feeling before tensing up, your body convulsing and arching up as Hyunjin’s thrusts grow more frantic— harsher and harsher as he groans gutturally in your ear with one last thrust long and deep, and when something shoots deep inside, you shiver one last time before your body sinks into the mattress and Hyunjin’s weight cases you in.

You feel boneless, lethargic with your movement. You feel when Hyunjin gets off you, when he closes your legs after slipping your underwater back on. You hear it when he sighs, something light and satisfied, and you barely manage to answer when he asks you how you feel. You can’t do much more than sigh, but it seems like enough for him— like that was the exact answer he was looking for. You succumb to blissful sleep right before the door shuts behind Hyunjin.

“Hear me out,” Hyunjin sighs, a lazy smile on his features even still. You’re no joke even if you might not know it yet. “I think it could really work.”

“You want us to convince Y/n to what? Leave us alone or..?” Jeongin says, leaning against the table in the kitchen.

The party has long been over, there’s a mess everywhere but it’s empty except for the eight boys and you knocked out in Hyunjin’s bed. Jisung sits sprawled on the couch, head twisted ever so slightly to betray that he’s listening to the conversation, Jeongin leans against the table and Chan has his arms folded where he leans against the wall serving as the entrance between the kitchen and the living room.

Minho downs a bottle of water by the sink, and Changbin leans against the fridge, leveling Hyunjin with an intense look. Felix and Seungmin sit on the couch opposite Jisung where they have a full view of everything and everyone.

“She barely even knows what porn is, so I said I could convince her the site isn’t that bad— and is something she could grow to like, if not love.” Hyunjin explains, his eyebrows raising in wait for the retaliation that’s sure to come.

“Why should we?” Minho asks, with a swallow, “If she doesn’t like it, honestly what does it matter.” Heads nod in agreement.

“Listen, they’re starting to consider whatever the fuck she’s selling them at those little meetings, and I got an email about investigation if this keeps up. If we fail to change her mind, we can at least distract her enough for the heat to lessen a little.”

Chan nods, “I don’t think it’s a bad idea.” He shrugs, looking over at everyone in the kitchen. “We change her mind, then we got one less problem to deal with.”

“And if we don't?” Changbin asks, tilting his head at both Hyunjin and Chan. “And if this is just a waste of time?”

“It isn’t,” Hyunjin assures, “Trust me.”

The rest of them don’t argue, but Hyunjin feels Seungmin’s gaze boring into him from the couch, feels his questions burning at the tip of his tongue, begging to be let out, so he leaves before they can succeed.

“We can talk about it more later, but I think it’ll work. It’s a good deed, and I know how much you guys love those.” Some scoffs and laughs fill the room, but Hyunjin is already halfway up the stairs, a plan forming in his mind and a pleasant smile growing on his face.

a note from iris: this chapter was late because of that long ass smut scene so i hope it was enjoyable and that this wasn’t 17k worth of a snoozefest 😭 i’m sorry it’s late!! so sorry but it’s still friday even if it’s 11 pm <3<3 not beta read not nothin so pls.. spare me.. and i hope you liked it !!!

not-so-mini taglist (there’s so many of y’all !!???): @chrisbahng @seonghwatoothless @bubblelixie @199719932000 @imsuchasimp00 @hyu-hl @oddinaryfelix @raspbinniecreme @fa3body @kittykatkrissa @andreaswrld @hattorihaechan @lachinitaaaaa @j-0ne25 @bangchanbabygirlx @ni-sh @green-orangeade @sincerely-skz @exclusivej3ss @elizalabs3 @lili-kims-blog @curiousgworge @midsoulz @sawadabegum @reighlee-greaves @lotus-dly @blcar @impossiblewritingrebel @yourhwngness @idek-at-this-point-lol @multihoe-net @hyun-bun @hwan-g @ughbehavior @rindomo @awesomelycoolworld @springdeity @todolyn @meowminhosblog @hyunelixies @emotionalwreckkk-blog @seungschacco @avyskai @cvfechan @jeyelleohe @vvsmydiamonds127 @chriscentric @simpforpunzngl @be-a-spacequeen @svintsandghosts @myjisung @hanjiesgf

*** if your tag didn’t work make sure your blog is visible! if i somehow missed you when tagging i offer a sincere apology <3

#hyunjin scenarios #skz smut #skz scenarios #stray kids x reader #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x female reader #hyunjin smut #hyunjin angst #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #skz x reader

[hanamgi]

Autoshop

┈➤ Summary:  He was the sun in your universe, you just wished you were a fraction of that for his.

◦ Strangers/friends to….

◦ 17k+ words 

◦ Rating: 18+

◦ Pairing: mehcanicJKxFemReader

➤ Warnings: ┃ Swearing, DomJK, face sitting/riding, lustful makeout, they have sex in the shop, seggs on the car lol, teasing, dirty talk, grinding, he spits on it, sloppy eating out, ┃Mutual pining, Jungkook is an assho*le lowkey, reader is very much naive, frustration between the two, emotionally constipated Koo, implied traumatic past relationships, Jimin is the best friend JK needs, Hoseok also a good friend, idk I wrote this during a time I was frustrated with someone, and in essence this kinda bout how she did me dirty but obviously this is 100 more dramticized for the audience hehe

HELLO: I really wanted to release it's his first time MONTHS back but literally uni has hit me like a truck I can't seem to escape exam szn at all (pls help) but the hype is dying down im in my final semster of first year (more exams yay) but ill get to have a long break after. That being said I hope you enjoy this, it was in my draft for almost 11 months now, so lmk what you think don't be shy and please like, share, reblog <3

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Finally it was time.

You were beyond ecstatic to go and visit the shop again, the oil in your car finally signalling that it needed a refill, so why not bring it to your favourite mechanic? It was last summer that your car had broken down on the highway, needing a whole new engine and it ended up getting towed into a mechanic shop just off the 406. You were tired, exhausted, just trying to get back to your apartment from spending the weekend at your parent's house.

Your parents missed you but you missed the little growly cat you had at home, -Mr. Snuggles fur- (the most fluffiest, cutest, grumpy, old, ginger cat you had waiting to welcome you home) if it wasn’t for him you probably would have ended up jumping off the bridge near the highway from embarrassment. The tow trucker guy had managed to crack in a few not subtle jabs on the old thing, but seriously it isn’t your fault that you can’t afford a 2020 mercedes benz Sue you! besides you knew jack shit about cars, it wasn't your problem. But that wasn’t even the good part, the mechanic fixing it was a very attractive, very handsome man. Pretty privilege really does exist because you let the shit he said slide, to focus on his handsome figure.

Frankly, you had bigger problems to deal with, like; your job: when the sketches for the new Facebook advertisement were due, what colours would be more appealing to people, how the advertisement should be perceived as funny rather then serious, the difference between maroon and burgundy-god you really had bigger problems. You really hadn’t thought about your engine at all, you just filled your car with gas and drove it to where you needed to throughout the years. When you look back to when you bought it, you grimace,  the whole process was really sketchy. DAMMIT!! You should have taken your dad or hired someone to help you find a suitable low-maintenance car. Yet here you were again, it’s been six months since the first night you got your car towed here and kept coming back whenever there was a slight squeak to it. Some may think you're very passionate and caring for your car, maybe well off since you keep coming in to get unnecessary shit fixed. But that's not the case at all, the secret was…..you were totally, (and delusionally) utterly, in love with the mechanic you’ve seemed to befriend over the months coming here. 

Currently sitting on the stool he pulled out for you, you watch him tweak the engine's air pump while you sigh dreamily. 

He wore denim overalls and a wife-beater underneath, the top of it tied around his tiny waist. You could see the beautiful glaze of his honey muscles, –sinewy lean, and big—skin that glimmered from his sweat. Your imagination grows fast when he squats and the muscles of his thighs bulge slightly, god you were drooling. He was so handsome, tall, muscular, and- “..... Hello?” he called for your attention, the fourth time now..apparently and you blink embarrassed. Slightly jumping at his soft voice, sitting upright, you rise from the stool. “Oh- s- sorry I didn’t hear you” you blushed lightly, feeling your face heat up. 

“Seemed like you were out there” he refers to you dozing off, you chuckle lightly. 

“Something like that” you mumbled, pushing some strands of hair behind your back. He turns to you with a charming smile, a wrench in his veiny grip and you gulp. Your gaze slowly lingers from his tight grip to his face, soft lips pulled upwards into a cute pout, such sweet eyes forming crescents from the effects of his smile, your favourite type of smile. You’ve always wondered how it would feel to poke the little moles underneath his chin, or on top of his lip, maybe stick a finger into his cute dimple. Your fantasies run faster and faster and you almost miss what he says again. 

“I changed the oil and fixed the squeaking, it’s probably gonna happen again and I don't want you to keep coming down here to pay ridiculous money to get it fixed so let me show you,” he waved you over. You frowned,- did he not want to see you anymore?

“Aren’t you supposed to advertise your business and not push away the customers?” You lightheartedly joke while he snorts.

Walking over you stop right in front of him, he was a mere 5 inches taller than you and the smell of oil and cologne wafted up your nose. It was a weird combination but it smelled so good, a little rusty but it was divinely masculine, the type of scent you would want to bury your face into, and sleep and bask in all night. The kind of scent that gives enough comfort and warmth. The scent is laced with maybe Dior perfume, metal rust, and the leftover remnants of cigarettes buds– that he smokes on his breaks.

“Okay see right here this little tube wrapped in the tin?” he asked, gesturing to the engine, you nodded. “You're going to take a wrench and twist it clockwise,” he demonstrates.

“I don't own a wrench,” you deadpan and Jungkook chuckles, he’s very amused to say the least, light airy laughter leaving his lips.

“You can have this one, I have plenty” he smiles cheekily and you almost groan. It was like he was trying to get rid of you, you swear. 

“And then you're done, if it doesn't budge, grease it with the oil you bought last week,” he says and you nod, wanting to stay near his body warmth. He looks down at your pouty lips and places a hand underneath your chin.

“ ‘.....’ this is going to save you money trust me” he reassures–it wasn’t a way of shooing you out he assures. Jungkook was just concerned with your superfluous way of spending your money. He lifts your head up and your heart races a million times faster, breath hitching inside your throat. 

“I know but you would do it for free if I came in, right?” you ask and he giggles, you swore your heart stopped at the airy- supple sound, it was adorable. 

“Yeah, but what if you come in and I'm not here? Then what….. plus coming all this way is a lot,” he reasons and you sigh nodding your head. He was right, it was a lot of time, a lot of money to spend too. Your ulterior motives were not really a subtle secret anymore either, you're sure he is aware of your crush on him. You did spend so much gas money coming here and then money for getting random shit that didn't need fixing to be repaired.

“C’mon don't sulk,” he taps your nose and you finally crack a smile. You loved it when he played with you, cradled your face for any injuries he suspects whenever you come in with a busted mirror or a dented corner of the car. His light touches on your elbow guiding you, or the hovering arm over your lower back that does not creep down in a way to respect you. You want to see him more though, see him watch you, or how your gaze shows twinkles and stars when looking at him, and you know you are not subtle, he even teases you about it from time to time. You want to feel his skin under your palms, on you, under him over him–you're getting carried away.

“Okay but you should come get some lunch with me, if you aren't busy of course, maybe during your break or when your shift is done, or another day if you really busy I don't mind honestly-” you stop rambling to check his reaction, he has a stupid bunny grin on his face, eyes on yours while you heat up from embarrassment. 

You weren't asking him out, you were only asking him to lunch. The last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable, you knew he was not interested in you with the way he approaches you’re mild confessions, or how he ignores the obvious yearning and longing in your gaze. You know he ignored the little twinkles and fairy dust shooting out of your orbs to him because you are so sure that the energy from the power of falling for this man has created this fiery light in your eyes– you can see it yourself. You can feel the weird tension, or maybe it’s just you or he just ignores it really well. Hopefully.

“I finish my shift in an hour, I have a few cars to wrap up and send off…..” He trails off, eyes shifting down to yours. 

He watches the way your face falls, and your body sulk into a frown–he doesn’t want to disappoint you after all, you were so fragile he was afraid of hurting you. “Do you wanna help me and we can go out after?” he asks with a smirk and you feel your heart tug at some strings, the light coming back into your face. You nod eagerly and he mumbles a ‘great’ under his breath.

—

An hour later after helping Jungkook with the cars, (mainly passing him tools and getting him water, when he needed it) you both sit in a little diner near your apartment. It was an 80’s themed diner that had chequered floors and race car seats, funky colours and lighting. Jeon fit right in with his mechanic outfit, but you on the other hand had basic light-washed flare jeans and a basic tube top. You both ordered and talked randomly with one another, it wasn’t your first time going out for a friendly lunch with him, at least that’s what he thought. You both were on a friendly lunch date until one of the waitresses mistakes you both for a couple and Jeon was quick to correct her. You sigh mentally, wishing you could just tell him how you feel, yet another part of you thinks that he knows and that he’s just been ignoring your shameless flirtation. You would never be able to recover from the humiliation of him rejecting you, nor would your heart be able to take the defeat so you settle with being friends, for now—

You behave yourself and eat the food you both ordered in peace, you’d never allow yourself to cross that line; because real life isn’t like the books you read, the images and dreams you have, and people aren't what you make them out to be. You knew this. 

You always looked at the people in your life as the potential they can be, and not for who they truly are. You’ve learned the hard way when you’ve been met with disappointment and a broken heart one too many times. But you couldn't help it, you couldn't help but see people for what they could be, and that in itself shows just how vulnerable you are. You were susceptible when it came to someone else’s feelings and always tried to be as thoughtful and empathic to how someone feels and why they are the way they are, thus making excuses as to their actions.

But then again, you did set up that unrealistic expectation of him long before you had even had a conversation with him. The inner hopeless romantic in you who thinks of life as the galaxy, people as balls of sunshine, and earth as a huge ball of fluff with people who have the potential to be the sun, and the stars. 

The man right in front of you….

Man

Slopingly eating away at his burger, he was the sun in your solar system. You’d like to think he has his own planet, beautiful and soft like him. Maybe on his planet lived cats like Mr. Snuggle Fur and had tulip fields every couple miles you’d walk down it. Water as clear as glass, blueish-green colour, and maybe people as cute and kind-hearted as Jungkook, that resided on that planet. Even though the way he usually dressed was the entire opposite of how he was, you hoped that at least the way you imagined him was just as beautiful as his plant

“Are you gonna finish that?” Jeon asks, pointing to the half-eaten burger you were gonna end up taking home, but with one look at his big doe-eyes you end up pushing the plate towards him. His face instantly brightens, taking a bite out of the burger with a grin on his face.

 He was your favourite planet you’ve decided.

“Thanks,” he smiles, mouth stuffed full of food, you giggle dismissing him with a hand wave. You get the waiter to bring back the check and you see Jungkook’s eyes widen when you pass the card over.

“What are you doing?” his voice is surprised, loud. You grin at him.

“You’ll get the next one,” you simply reply, paying and packing the leftovers. Jeon scoffs, giving you a pout. “I don’t mind paying when it comes to you, as you’ve noticed” you tease and he gives you a playful glare.

A stare that tells you not to go there, and your heart squeezing tightly in your ribcage.

“Let’s get you home, it’s getting late” He walks out, and you trail behind him with a soft smile. Your hearts hurting already.

—

Now back home you decide on a quick shower and to sleep in a t-shirt 4 sizes too big, courtesy of the cheap Walmart men's section. You sigh on your bed, scrolling through the contacts on your phone until you decide to stalk Jeon on Instagram. It was something that you did often, something that was a part of your nightly routine actually- before you would go to bed you would stalk his Instagram account. It was aesthetically pleasing, pictures of him on his motorcycle, or in his garage fixing cars. It was mainly black or white themed–that bad boy dark aesthetic. Occasional pictures of his Doberman running through the grass, and him kissing his mom on the cheek in what looks like a Christmas dinner, with the table set, and a tree in the background.

You smile, the warmth of bubbles brew up in the pit of your stomach, and butterflies erupt inside you tugging on the veins that pump the blood into your heart and down your body. You had such hopeless feelings, ever since he fixed your car at the mechanic shop that night back from your parent's house- you’ve always come back to him. That night he had given you food and his large grey denim jacket to keep you warm while he fixed the boot crack of an engine that you had. You felt oddly warm and safe, even though he was a complete stranger at the time. He joked and talked to you, even drove you home that night in his car because he needed to order some parts for your engine. 

Not to mention he was also completely and utterly hot, so handsome to the point that you think you would die from staring at him for too long, and oh god- oh god his smile was the most divine, heartwarming, pussy clenching, adorable thing in the world. Little bunny teeth, plump bottom lip, faint red-tinted lips stretched into an up-pull direction. God, you were down bad.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

You were back at the auto shop, much to Jungkook’s and your bank account's dismay. Only because he didn’t like you spending money on unnecessary fixes, he knows how anxious you get when your car so much as makes a squeak— scared of getting into an accident with the old junk. Jeon was always expecting you to come by the shop at least once a week, this time complaining about how the wrench he let you borrow wasn’t turning the tinned-covered canister in the engine. Helping you replace it again, he sends you off—curtly nodding his head while you wave, your wide eyes, starry.

They were two brown orbs that he has grown accustomed to, grown used to watching his every move and sometimes let it slip down his body on a hot summer day when he has his frame out of his tank top, or his legs free from the confinements of his overalls. He likes teasing you most times when he invites you to sit on a stool and talk to him while he fixes parts–manoeuvres around the car to assemble, and dismantle. Sometimes he curls his biceps slightly in front of you, tightly wrapping his hand around a wrench that did not need that much force whatsoever. You got flustered easily and he loved to see you pat down the warmth of your hue-tinted cheeks, or hum along to the song all of a sudden—all an act to calm down your beating heart he thinks.

He knows your act of coming here to the shop is to secretly ogle at him, you shamelessly letting out the crush you have on him in other forms—which is pretty obvious anyways—but Jungkook doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t want to embarrass you. Plus he loves your company, and your rambling about your co-workers, the food you bring in, and Mr snuggle Paws or whatever the name of your cat was—he appreciated it all. He valued the friendship you both have seemed to build throughout the months. You were a very wise, smart, beautiful woman—and he’d be damned to think he’s never seen you in that light. You were sexy, yes. But he’s never let his imagination broaden outside the area of this auto shop, the barricades on his heart work extra hard to block out the cute sounds of your giggles, or the way your hand comes up to part your soft curls behind your ear— and the way you ramble about random things in hopes to entertain Jungkook while he works— he found all of these things about you endearing and adorable. This is part of the reason why Jungkook had not tried to initiate a move, a hangout, or anything more than the friendly and respectful hug he parts you with whenever you leave the shop, or whatever restaurant you both choose to eat at once in a while. 

You were dangerous for his heart, he can feel the barbed wires he put on them years ago-loosen from time to time and it only happens in your presence, and the only time he felt the flutters in his stomach and the pulse in his heart quicken was with his ex. The one who has humiliated him broke him and made him barb up his heart to be a clueless fucker who has no hope, no expectation, no interest in love anymore. He didn’t believe that loving someone was enough for anyone, just love is never enough. No one in his eyes had the potential to be worthy of him, but there’s you. You who he thinks may have the potential, maybe. He doesn’t know, he doesn’t want to discover it. He doesn’t want to expect anything from you because he thinks you’ll disappoint him, he thinks that there’s no point if it’s all going to end in the grand scheme of all things. 

Jungkook only fucks, that’s what allows him to satisfy himself and protect his heart, it works for him. Clearly, you are not looking for that, you’re not looking for a quick fuck and he’d rather keep you as a friend than lose you, it is comfortable the way things are now. He knew eventually that you would crack and tell him your feelings, but he only hoped it wasn’t going to be anytime soon. Plus, you deserve better, you deserve better than Jungkook who is 1) a pessimist; he sees the negatives of life, and his thinking is cynical, very opposite from yours. You’re a better person than Jungkook, you see the good in people and think that anyone “bad” can change, and can be “fixed”. But Jungkook didn't want to change, nor did he want to be fixed. Jungkook wanted to be Jungkook…unguarded and free. He didn’t like all that vulnerability shit, he didn't want any of that soft stuff, and he did not want that level of emotional intimacy with anyone ever again. No, he didn’t want that, no one nor you or anyone else can change his mind. 

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“Oh,” you're dejected, nodding your head at Jimin, Jungkook’s coworker. He told you that Jungkook wasn’t working for the rest of the week, and you now regret not texting him first rather than showing up unannounced and as much as you claim that any amount of money that you spend on Jungkook is worth coming to see him for, you should’ve thought rationally—the gas money it took you to get here from the office was at least worth a brand new pair of work pants from Zara. Smiling softly at Jimin, you bid him a farewell, walking out feeling your embarrassment from your heated skin, almost tripping on your feet on the way out with your head hung low from disappointment. 

“…” You hear your name, the gentle voice had a slight rasp to it this time and slowly your heartbeat quickens as your eyes look up from his combat boots to his face. He was fitted in black cargo pants and a black tee, the black ink also standing out with a new print behind his elbow. You don’t comment on it yet though, your eyes swell up from smiling real hard and at him. The bag you had in your hand came into view and you saw his eyes flick down to the greasy takeout boxes from his favourite restaurant. 

“Jeon, Hi!” you chirp a little loudly, after a beat of silence he breaks into a smile. But his eyes widened again, a little look of guilt, or was it confusion you didn’t know but you broke the awkward silence by holding up the bag again. 

“I thought you were working today and brought some food, I-i’m sorry I probably should have texted you first, but I didn’t want to-” you stop, huffing at your own ramble and Jungkook’s eyes seem to puff up, his grin widening from ear to ear and that seems to calm you down, it brought some sort of comfort to your erratic heartbeat. Oh god, it was beating so hard you just wished he didn’t see it beating out from your chest. Because for one he looks extremely beautiful outside of his work outfit, and two his smile just seems to always brighten up your days. After all, he was a whole beautiful galaxy in your eyes.

“Ahh I wish you texted me I-” he stuttered, walking past you to reach the little cupboards in front of the office you just bided Jimin goodbye from. His voice was a little rushed as he grabbed his forgotten wallet from his desk and stood back in front of you. 

“I- I’m going out right now and” 

“Jungkookie” a voice interrupts him and you can see the look of horror in his eyes flashing with shame and terror. You give him a confused look, you didn’t know why you read that frenzy expression on his face, and why it was there.  Until a girl appears through the doors of the garage and you see him shut his eyes when she grabs onto his bicep, looking over at you. 

“Did you find your wallet?” she asks and you blink up, your heart clenching at the tight grip she has on his arm. You don’t let it show though, you knew that deep down Jungkook had girls lining up for him, he was just that kind of guy. You twist the bag back behind your frame and Jungkook’s eyes flick from your hands to your eyes, he’s watching you carefully as if he was concerned about you.

“Yeah, yeah I did,” he says, clearing his throat awkwardly. The woman was beautiful, she had long blonde hair, clad in a cute red sundress that showed off her well-built long legs, and her bright smile that could probably light up anyone's world, maybe it already lit up Jungkook’s world, just like his own smile did to yours.

“Oh hi, Celeste” she introduces herself, and outstretches her hand, you shake it, giving her a wide smile. You didn’t want Jungkook to know that slowly your heart was tugging apart inside, and that bile was probably rising up and had the sudden urge to vomit out your stomach's contents of breakfast and coffee. 

“…” you introduce yourself and Jungkook gives you a tight lip smile his nystagmic eyes missed nothing, but you also avoid them, avoid his being while Celeste beams about the garage and the random Corvette that’s being fixed up. Easing into some easy-going conversations, and more small talk about the party they're going to attend after, meanwhile, your heart clenched and twisted with a wicked feeling of jealousy, eyes zeroing in on her hand on Jungkook’s bicep. It looked natural like it was the millionth time she was doing this and you didn’t how much longer you could take it, seeing him with someone else. 

“I- ’m going to go now, I hope you guys have a good time at the party,” you uttered after you all chatted for a while, and Jungkook’s eyes softened at the tight expression on your face–a lacklustre smile on your lips, he can see right through you, he knows you're disappointed, upset- but not angry. 

“Wait, you should totally come, it’ll be a good time,” she suggests and you flinch slightly, looking over at Jungkook who gives you a tight smile, almost as if he was uncomfortable with the idea because his lips primed, and his brows knitted into a frown. You chuckle uneasily, waving your hand in a dismissive way before turning your head away from them a moment.

“Oh c’mon, it’ll be fun and if you know Jungkookie here im sure you’ll get along with the others at the party” You almost vomit from the nickname, the very cute and intimate nickname that falls from her mouth naturally, her hand rubbing his bicep in a soothing manner. Your face heats up from frustration and embarrassment because Jungkook clearly did not want you to accept yet you open your mouth to accept, giving Jungkook one last glance that has you nervously nipping at the bottom of your lip. 

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

You're on the sidewalk, nervous and jittery from entering the three-story home overflowing with people inside and out, bobbleheads scattered all over the top terrace to the front yard. Red cups are held in everybody’s hand, either filled with alcohol or any pop of their choice, but the way drunken bodies move and shout has you thinking of the latter option. Your bottom lip is tucked underneath your teeth, bare legs stuck to the ground as you contemplate the house, you didn't know what you were doing here, to be honest. 

Jungkook definitely did not want you there, you were absolutely terrified of entering this stranger's party, and Celeste was probably just trying to be nice by inviting you yet you had bitter feelings towards her. What were you trying to prove? Show Jungkook that you were better than her, dressed into a tight crochet dress you’ve decided to borrow from your friend, about to step into a sea of people you didn't know and the only person that did– clearly showed his disinterest in wanting you there. 

The look on his face showed his frustration and apprehension in not wanting you at the party as if he had something to hide, but that gave you all the push to come, maybe prove to him that you are as cool and as beautiful as Celeste. You wanted to mingle with his friends and converse with others to show Jungkook that you could fall in with his crowd.

Underneath all the nervousness and stress you are feeling, you feel a little brave and confident in the quite revealing, short dress, hair locks cascading down your back with glittery makeup on to emphasize your features. You hoped that if you were to approach Jungkook tonight that he would drop his mouth open, maybe discreetly look you up while you talk and enjoy yourself. You just want to show Jungkook how cool you could be, you could show him what he could have instead and in a perfect world, he would finally realize his feelings for you and come running to hug your waist and bury his boyish face into your neck, telling you how much he loves you.

 But this isn’t a perfect world, clearly when the first thing you see is a girl sitting on Jungkook’s lap on the couch when you walk in, and that girl was not Celeste but rather a brunette wearing a backless top. 

Your blink back pathetic tears, as you shift from one foot to the other. You were at a safe enough distance for them not to notice you but you also felt like throwing up, felt your heart shatter even harder than before because of one thing you never thought Of course Jungkook would turn out to be a fuck boy. A boy who flies through girls easily, bedding and dipping fast. What did you expect?

You figured that out by deciding to stay unnoticed at the party for a couple of hours, waiting for a time that he wasn’t occupied with shoving his tongue down someone’s throat. You counted at least 3, 4, maybe 5 women who had successfully approached him to share spit, your breaking point was when he decided to take the last girl upstairs, where the rooms were and you swore you could have met his eyes for a second as well, but you were quick to rush out that door and back into your car, steadying your breathing.

Pathetic of you to think that Jungkook was the soft and sweet boy you thought, you saw him smirk your way when he had the last girl on his lap, probably sensing your gaze on him finally he decided to hook her legs up to his waist and carry her up the stairs, putting a show on for you, it's as if he was mocking you. You could feel your heart detach itself from your chest, tears streaming down the face that you spent beating up the last two hours. 

A tiny scoff leaves your lips, mind replaying that stupid devilish smirk on his stupidly handsome face.

He knew what he was doing, clearly.

How naive and in your head, you were to think that maybe just maybe Jungkook would have feelings for you and surely you thought that his actions and kind-heartedness towards you were special but seeing the way he held and softly caressed other girls, playing with their hair–showed that you would never be one of those girls. You want to be more than that though. 

He was a good man, he would never intentionally hurt you and you blame yourself for your tears–if only you told him if only you sat him down and talked to him about your undying love. But then again, it’s been months of dropping hints and months of flirting with him surely he would know you had feelings for him? Would he really deliberately hurt you like this?

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

Jungkook couldn’t believe that when he woke up the next morning he was still at the party, sweat running down his back and neck making his skin sticky and gross. As he looked around he was all alone in the bed groaning when he saw the pair of panties on the nightstand with a little handwritten note beside him (Call me sometime ;)!) a phone number attached. Grudgingly he got up and threw out the note, grumbling in disgust, he managed to make it out the front door fully dressed, with his car perfectly intact and parked in the driveway. Looking back at the house small memories started coming back to him and your face flashed right through his mind, in that pretty little skimpy dress. Short that it almost flashed your ass with every step you took, catching the attention of all the boys at the party. 

He scoffed at the memory, especially when he remembered the way your face broke out into horror every time you saw him with a different girl each time that night. Honestly, he was hoping you hadn’t come to the party just so you didn’t see that side of him. That side of him that he hasn’t matured and grown out of.  You were probably hurt you weren't one of them, probably jealous of the girls he had kissed and fucked but he’s glad you weren’t one of them.

He would never disrespect you like that, if he was going to do things with you he would do it right. He would do it right as in take you out on several dates, confessing his love, and hopefully make you his girlfriend by the end of it. That’s the right way, the morally good and safe way to do things. He thinks that’s what you would have wanted, that's what you would have expected from him. But Jungkook doesn’t want that, he doesn’t like pre-planned things, he doesn’t like expectations, nor does he like the idea of being tied down. 

But above all Jungkook doesn’t want to hurt you, hurt the fragile soul of yours that preplans and expects and sees the world in all shades of rainbows and unicorns. Call him a little cynical, a pessimist, (he is) but Jungkook likes the unexpected spontaneous nature of life that randomly brang what belonged to him when he needed it. He liked for things to fall in place and although to a certain extent, he should put in some work for what he wanted he knew that he didn’t want anything romantic to do with anyone right now. Maybe he should let you know then to keep letting your hopes up, but something so gut-wrenching and heart-shattering about seeing you hurt that Jungkook didn’t like. He lived to see the colour in your face, your enthusiasm and the way you’d go hours and hours talking about everything and anything.

And since Jungkook is so convinced that you both would be better off as friends than romantic lovers, why does he have this terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach when he doesn’t see you for the next month? He doesn’t get the bubbly feeling and breath knocked out of him when he sees you walk in with one of your sundresses, only disappointment and beer bellies walking into his shop. He sighs, frustration clear on his face while he tightens the bolts on the bottom of the engine.

Jimin takes cautious notice of his mood throughout the weeks, he watched his eyes always flicker to the door whenever the bell chimes and the disappointment that settled into his eyes after, tells Jimin that maybe he’s looking out for a special chatty bird.

“What’s with you?” Jimin asks, nudging him on the shoulder.

“What’s with what?” faux disinterest laced in his tone.

“You have this sadness oozing out of you and I think it may have something to do with our favourite little customer huh?” he says with a grin and Jungkook chuckles.

“Is it that obvious?” he scoffs and Jimin shrugs.

“Yeah I mean, she hasn’t come in a while and your eyes practically jump to the door every time it chimes,” he treads, and Jungkook groans.

“She won’t answer my texts either, nothing” Jungkook sighs, wiping his oiled hands on his overalls.

“What’d you do?”

“Nothing”

“What’d you do Jungkook.”

“Seriously I don’t know, I’m confused myself,” Jungkook sighs.

“Managed to already hurt her feelings?” Jimin treads around the topic, not wanting to anger Jungkook but also get it out of him. 

He knows your little innocent crush on his friend here, he knows you come in to fix every little thing (although unnecessary really) just to see Jungkook. He knows how Jungkook rolls, he wouldn’t be into the stuff where you date and do all the sappy shit— he didn’t like expected romance, he was more into hookups and spontaneous fucks something you obviously weren’t made for.

“What you think I did something?” He scoffs and Jimin sighs. “She’s just sensitive, she probably saw me with someone at the party, and I didn’t want her to come in the first place but she did and she ended up seeing shit she didn’t like” Jungkook blurts and Jimin hums.

The truth summarised. 

“So really I did nothing, she showed up and she didn’t like what she saw” he shrugs, and Jimin scoffs.

“Why didn’t you want her there?” Jimin asks and Jungkook really wishes he didn’t ask that because he knew the answer. He knew he didn’t want you there because he had a fear of disappointing you and showing you the side of him that he secretly hates, the side where he made out with multiple women and fucked carelessly and to make matters worse he made sure it was in front of you.

Why did he care what you think of him? He doesn’t know and quite frankly he didn’t want to get into that variegated emotions and thoughts because now was not the time. He really thought that the best way of getting you away from him was to hurt you and he knows he did because he saw all the tears slip out of your eyes when you hastily wiped them away at the sight of Jungkook taking another woman upstairs to fuck, he knew by the way you hurriedly scurried out the door in the skimpy little adorable dress that you probably wore just for him. 

Jungkook knew what you felt in your heart, you were very easy to read and he wasn’t dumb. You're pretty predictable and now he regrets not walking up to you normally instead of forcing his tongue down a random woman's throat to purposely hurt you.

Why? He couldn't tell you.

You deserved more, he wanted you to know you deserved more and maybe you finally realized that Jungkook was horrible and that it wasn't worthwhile having a crush on him but why does the lack of you in his life sting his heart. Why does it leave a bitter taste on the back of his tongue, and he can’t shake you out of his mind? 

Jesus

He knew he grew accustomed to your company, he knew that much was true yet when you didn’t show up to the shop as your bubbly old self and did not answer his texts…. has him feeling like shit.

“I didn’t want her there because that wasn’t her type of thing” he answers after a long pause and Jimin gets busy with his task in hand, screwing up the tire in place.

“Uh-huh,” he said off-puttingly and Jungkook raises an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Oh nothing…it’s just that—-You’re a shitty fucking person Jungkook” Jimin chuckles.

“How?” he asks

“Because you’re not honest with yourself, so you end up hurting people for no reason” he shrugs and his shoulder slump.

“You know she likes you, she’s harboured harmless feelings for you over a course of months and she cares for you, yet you end up treating her like shit when she dresses up for you and shows up to a party only to see you deliberately shove your tongue down throats in front of her because you wanted her to ‘back off,” Jimin huffs, air quoting “back-off” with his fingers and Jungkook suddenly feels exposed. A chilling and unsettling feeling rumbled from his chest.

“You don’t even want her to back off, I know you like her back just as much but you just self-sabotage because of your past but guess what Jungkook,” Jimin pauses, hands up to show his frustration.

“ ‘...’ isn’t Sora. You don’t always have to have this facade of smugness and nonchalance. It isn't attractive anymore,” Jimin spat when he finished his job, rubbing his hands with the towel as he walked back into the break room, leaving Jungkook to simmer inside his thoughts.

Damn

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

There is a foundation; eating, sleeping, and the occasional exercise that science proves helps our quality of life. Physically, these are all fundamental elements that help us live a long and fulfilling life (mostly), yet as you grow older and older you no longer depend on your parents to tie your shoes for you and start to form your own perspective on life, and what is most important to you. You realise there is more to life than just being, you no longer want to live for the purpose of living so you go out and find it. 

You go out and seek the purpose for what you’ve been placed in this cruel world for, and somewhere along the journey, you start longing and yearning for something that is out of your reach. You create an unrealistic romanticized version of life in your subconscious mind. Outlets such as books, poetry, and movies may portray these very impractical ways of life in such beautiful and, again, (unrealistic) perspectives, which in the end can conflict with your conscious mind when you come face to face with these scenarios in reality and you’re left unsatisfied.

You expect and set life on this high pedestal to only then realize…. that life is much more complicated and disappointing. Depressing even to comprehend just how hard it is to live, just how hard it is to show vulnerability, to talk about feelings–to show them, to love, to accept, to forgive, to grieve.

It’s hard, truly.

That’s what Jungkook thinks you do, he thinks you’re so bubbly and energetic�� so hopeful because you think of life as this big cloud of unicorn dust and stars that shine brighter than the sun.

He sees the hopefulness in the roundness of your eyes, and the adoration that they carry; so much adoration. Especially for him, and it scares the absolute shit out of him. He wishes he didn’t see life from a more cynical view, call him pessimistic but Jungkook would rather already have disappointment set into him like a wired robot and expect the worst of every situation than have that hopeful naive stare you have in your shimmery eyes, expecting everything to go the way you make things out to be only to be left pained in the end.

Yeah…hurt and pained.

Jungkook was always hyper-fixated on being disappointed in the grand scheme of all things, and he only believed that he could feel this way. He could only be the one disappointed but when he sees your lone self sitting in the diner you brought him over for lunch a couple of months ago, chewing on a lame piece of fry, eyes tired and looking down into your milkshake he stiffens.

Visibly, Jimin notices and follows his line of vision, eyes landing on your form that carelessly runs through fries and the book you have on your lap. You seem tranquil, a vibe that neither Jimin nor Jungkook can wrap their heads around but when your head lifts up and your eyes scan the room you finally find his eyes. And Jungkook winces at the loss of joy and passion in them for him. It’s like the fire that kept burning in them full of love and hope was lit out. He half expects you to look back down at your book and avoid him, forgetting that you ever saw him but when you shyly wave and shoot him a smile Jungkook doesn’t think but walks towards your booth–which he now realises is the very same one you both sat in the last time.

“Hey,” you greet, voice hoarse and still soft. Jungkook was lost just staring at you, his eyes dancing across your dainty figure and locking in on the new tattoo on your forearm. It wasn’t big but it was big enough to notice right away, a cute star with a soft circle ringing around it.

“Hey babe, how’s it going?” Jimin asks concern laced in his voice as your eyes softly crinkle from smiling too hard at the pet name. Jungkook stares, heart beating faster as he hears the tired strain in your voice, you seem sunken and look smaller than before. Your eyes don't shine as bright and the glee in your voice was gone.

“Oh I got my car broken into, and my phone was stolen so sorry I didn’t see any of your messages” You blush lightly, your voice growing softer at the end. That explains why you haven’t answered any of his texts and why you didn’t return any of his calls. But he was still trying to figure out what had happened to your energy.

“You taking care of yourself?” Jungkook finally speaks up and your eyes look back and forth,` unable to hold the contact as you clear your voice and look away.

“Yeah, im doing well” You muster a smile and gesture for both of them to join you in the booth.

….

You exchanged your new number with Jimin and Jungkook, walking out of the booth after catching up. You decided to sell your car and invest in another you told them.

The cold breeze of the air kicks in as the moon farewells the sun— and darkness completely takes over the swirl of orange and pink that has painted the sky. Jimin wishes you both a good night and Jungkook lingers a bit longer by your car, looking at you.

“Let me drive you back home” he suggests with a small smile, “You’ve had some drinks” he explains and you chuckle lightly.

“Uhh it’s pretty far Jungkook, how would you get back?” you ask and Jungkook takes the keys from your hand.

“I'll bus back” He smiles and you nod, heart fluttering a million times harder inside the tight confinement of your chest.

Missing Jungkook was an understatement, you’ve done nothing but flaunter your interest in him and shower him with all your attention and love in the past. All you wanted was for him to either reject you or accept you. He was confusing, and although deep down your love for him rapidly grew like wildfire in your heart, the same love that he had shrugged off. The same love that he takes advantage of and deliberately strung along just for his own vile entertainment and pleasure, just for his ego to be nourished from time to time again is the same love…… that realized that you deserved better.

In the grand scheme of all things you had realized that Jungkook could never give you want and need, he won't ease your heart by reassuring you nor would he give you the love you deserve, the stability you deserve. 

And instead of wasting your time chasing after him, who clearly has different motives and different goals for his future, you decided to finally set him free, take a step back, and explore other options in your life.

The least you could do to guard your heart against his cruel ways.

When you’re cute coworker started taking interest in you, you decided to go on a few dates with him over the past month. You weren’t official yet but he made you happy, he truly did. He was the softest most kind-hearted boy, that’s what you used to think Jungkook was or wished he was like.

You idealized Jungkook, you’ve built such unrealistic standards of him and put him on the highest pedestal that you could possibly find. The tattoos, his body, and luscious raven hair were all a blinding vision, all romanticization.

And you feel guilty for doing that, which is why you had stopped coming to see him for a while. You had to clear your mind and stop being a delusional little 13-year-old. You’re a grown 25-year-old woman who has a career, and a promising future. You wanted to get married have children and do the unimaginable most basic cliche things in between. You realized that waiting around for Jungkook would set you back. 

This doesn’t mean you regret the past year of pinning and being whipped after him, you genuinely had a fun time but the sooner you realized the harsh reality, the softer the blow would be, and you wouldn't have to go through a traumatic heartbreak. Or you hoped.

The ride to your house is ghost quiet, only the bustling horns of cars and skyline and street lights illuminate the car, casting a beautiful shimmer onto his face. The soft tune of Sabrina Claudio playing on the radio, humming along quietly as you look out the window.

“Time will be frozen….for us” you sing lowly, and Jungkook takes a second to look at your side profile, a smile growing on his lips.

“You have a nice voice,” he compliments and you giggle shyly, staying quiet and humming along some more. 

You soon arrive at your condo, he parked your car in the garage. You invite him over for some food and made some pasta for the both of you silently eating on your kitchen island, conversation flowing slightly awkwardly with little pauses in between to rack your brain for topics. You could tell he was treading carefully, tentatively and hyperaware. You can see it in the way he speaks between pauses, and actions so timid it’s so unlike him.

“This dress is really pretty,” his hands tug lightly at the laces on the end, skimming your upper thigh lightly. You smile, patting the short piece of fabric down your thighs and Jungkook licks his lips. Eyes land on the white lace garter around your left thigh, catching a sight of it by accident when you hike it up your thigh.

He raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat as you lightly smirk. Suddenly the tensions in the air change, and you lean in closer.

“Thanks, I got it as a gift last week,” you smile, absentmindedly sighing at the way Yoongi bought you the dress to wear for their date, he was supposed to come over later tonight, so you desperately wished to get rid of Jungkook as soon as possible. 

“Are you going to bus back soon, it’s getting late,” you move your body away from his, taking the opportunity to clean the dishes while putting space between the two of you. He lingered confused, staring at you intently as if in deep thought, you can see from your peripheral vision. All of a sudden the air around the both of you got thick, and your heartbeat picked up as soon as he came around beside you, helping you dry the dishes.

“Why am I not welcome anymore?” He jokes, setting the plates down on the drying rack. He slowly trails behind you, trapping both of his arms on either side of your body, leaning his head in slowly and you anticipate the feeling of his body flushed against you but it never comes. Jungkook paused, too busy staring at the bruising mark on your neck, his heart twisting uncomfortably.

Were you seeing someone? Is that why you stopped coming to see him for the past couple of months? He feels anger rising but subdued when you turn around, face inches away from him.

“What are you doing?” You ask and Jungkook scoffs, a bitter chuckle escaping his mouth as he takes a step back.

“If you want me to leave because your little boyfriend’s coming soon, you could’ve just said so” he tuts, and your eyes widen.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you say defensively, eyebrows knitted in confusion.

Jungkook crosses his arms, mockingly mirroring your pouty lips, “You don’t have to be so coy, just tell me to leave,” he says, and your eyes widen, your patience running thin as your blood boils in anger.

Who did he think he is?

Jungkook wanted you to tell him to leave, he wanted to prove a point. Show yourself that you still like him still. But what surprised him was the little smirk on your face, your arms suddenly crossing over to mirror his own and the way you gesture to the door with a tilt of your head.

This was it? Had you truly moved on…? Isn’t this what Jungkook wanted all along though? Why was his heart shattering inside his chest and the air suddenly felt warmer and thin around him? 

Why was the new glint of realization and unhinged gleam in your eyes bothering the fuck out of him. God damn it your eyes shined so much brighter and glowed a thousand times shinier than the moon could have whenever you saw him.

That used to always put his heart at ease, feeling wanted, he loved being desired. Especially when you would stare at him for hours and trace the tattoos along his arms, buy him food and talk his ear off. 

Why was that all gone from the look in your eyes, he felt the coldness in your stare probably caught on to the arrogance his words held, and the smugness he carried himself with.

So he’s surprised when he hears what he hears next.

“Please leave Jungkook, I have someone coming over,” you smile.

You didn’t let him get what he came for, you didn’t let him shatter your self-confidence, nor did you let him fill you with self-doubt. You're a changed woman….

——

Min Yoongi was a special man, a special man that held a special part in your heart. You’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months, and ever since he asked you to be his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago you’ve been head over heels. 

Driving him crazy by drowning him in kisses, and hugs, making him food at unprecedented times of the day and taking it over to him at the university he teaches at.

He was a physics professor, at the age of 30 living in a downtown complex just half an hour away from you(depending on traffic) and although the way you met was kind of unconventional you both had hit it off quite well.

He was the kindest, sweetest man ever, always so thoughtful of you, always treating you with the utmost respect and kindness you deserve. Ever since the last night you’ve seen Jungkook a month ago, the memory of him started fading away slowly, your heart healing and filling your mind with new and fonder memories. 

Like right now, sitting on Yoongi’s lap while he inspects your broken laptop, trying to fix the crashed document for you.

Smiling at him you hear him groan and you coo, kissing his cheek multiple times while he shuts down your computer again to refresh it.

“Baby, I think you need a new computer,” he sighs, taking off his glasses and finally giving you the attention you’ve asked for all night.

You kiss his lips, holding the sides of his face gently while he giggles. “It’s okay, as long as I have you,” you smile stupidly and Yoongi feels his chest tightening with love, butterflies pooling at the bottom of his stomach.

“Plus you can just use my computer for the time being,” he suggests and you nod, burying your head in the solace that was his neck, relaxing the rest of the afternoon in his embrace.

——

“Jimin, your customer is here to pick up his Audi,” Jungkook calls in from the reception area, sharing a brief smile with the young man dressed in a sharply tailored suit, raven hair and mullet cut. He was shorter than him and scrawnier but nonetheless, you could see his biceps buff and curl into the stretched material of his dress shirt. 

Jimin wipes the grease off his hands and onto his jumper, breaking out into a big grin as he shakes his hand. “Ahh Yoongi, good to see you,” he beams and Yoongi bows politely.

“Enough is my car fixed? No more leakage diarrhea?” He jokes with a quizzed eyebrow, earning a chuckle from him. 

“Nah no more liquid shit, let me show you,” he takes him to his car and Jungkook shakes his head with a smile on his lips. He had helped fix the diarrhea problem in the Audi, almost in the shop for a month as they had to wait for a piece they ordered to come. Apparently, his girlfriend has been giving him rides to work and back for the past couple of weeks.

Jungkook washed his hands, running a hand through his now short hair, and eyes trained on his phone, checking out the new sneaker shop downtown to try and visit and get Jimin a gift for his upcoming birthday.

He’s throwing a pool party at his parent's mansion, them being gone for the next couple of weeks. He booked a dj, and bartender and Invited a shit ton of people because according to his own words:

“You only turn 25 once, that’s halfway to the 50 and wrinkly old man that I’ll be” He justified his expensive irrational blow of money.

“Yoongi!” Jungkook hears, he knows this voice way too well. Familiar with the soft rasp to it, and the kindness of every syllable, he regrets it but he looks up. Finding you clad in a beautiful yellow sundress, the one that you wore that one time you came to visit and bring  him lunch, ready to spill about the contents of your day to him.

Your eyes hold a little surprise to them when you spot him and Jungkook wished the whole world swallowed him whole while he stared at you his heart started wildly beating, a specific clench on the left side as he regards your beautiful self. 

You have a life back in your eyes, a certain light and beam in the shines of your irises and his mind switches into a hopeful thought before he sees you look behind him and wave at the young gentlemen through the glass, talking to Jimin.

You look back at him, a certain softness to your eyes as you regard him and walk up closer. “It’s been so long Jeon, Hi,” you say, and Jungkook gulps when he waits for a beat longer to respond; stunned that you are really here, standing here talking to him, especially after the last time you both spoke.

“I’m good,” he responds, eyes glancing between your eyes and lips, then at the tattoo on your forearm. The little star with the winged circle, he assesses it, never had a chance to ask you about it. You slipped through his fingers faster than he would’ve liked. 

You nod, a frown replacing your face when he looks back at his phone, trying to ignore your presence. But really his heart was beating way too fast for his liking, heart clenching in pain and longing….regret.

You disappointedly turn away, a smile right back on your face when Yoongi comes back out with his car keys, he pulls you into his embrace, lingering a kiss on the top of your head.

Jungkook notices this and blinks owlishly.

What did he fucking miss?

“‘….’” Jimin says your name, a surprised gasp leaving his lips when he sees the interaction and in a split second he sends a knowing look to Jungkook, a smirk attached to his gaze.

Jungkook rolls his eyes and continues to watch you catch up with Jimin, blabbering about life and decisions and thinking of moving into the city. He didn’t really hear much because his gaze was on the way your handheld Yoongi’s thumb, squeezing it lightly in nervousness he thinks because you used to do that with him a lot. He grows more irritated when he sees the way you subtly lean your head onto his bicep and seek warmth and comfort in his embrace. Your eyes look everywhere and when they meet him again Jungkook decides to not look away holding your gaze with a pained look on his face you decide to send him a small smile and look away, leaning into Yoongi even further which makes Jungkook furious.

“I’ll send you the address, and don’t bring gifts, it's a no-gift birthday party,” he raised a finger in a warning and you giggled with a roll of your eyes.

“Whatever you say,” you sing, and leave hand in hand with Yoongi once you all exchange goodbyes.

Silence overtakes the garage, Jungkook’s eyes stay on the door that you just left from and finally looks away when Jimin chuckles—throwing an arm over Jungkook’s shoulder.

He sighs dreamily, rather dramatically Jungkook thinks, “If only you weren’t a fucking asshole that could’ve been you, lover boy,” he slaps his shoulder and Jungkook raises his arm, pushing Jimin off but he runs away with a squeal before Jungkook could slap him.

He comes back after a fit of giggles, “But man I hope you're okay,” he says more seriously giving Jungkook a sad smile.

“I’m fine,” he shrugs, showing indifference but the beating of his heart and the croak in his voice betray his words.

——

A beer in hand and other on his phone as he mindlessly scrolls through his feed, he enjoys the bustle outside of the party and the serene calm sound of waves crashing against each other at the terrace of Jimin’s parent's room. 

The party had started a couple of hours ago, not even halfway there as people mingle and talk. He even spotted you, a cute little two-piece clad on your curves. They had little sunflowers on them, small pathetic excuses of triangles covering your nipples but he could imagine the perky pebbles in his face as they erected through the material. The bottom half had a cute see-through mini skirt as a cover-up that covered the bikini yet exposed everything at the same time. 

You looked really good, and when you found his gaze you had sent him a small smile waving a little. But he had looked away escaping out to the terrace to stop himself from thinking about you. To bask in his own misery.

He couldn’t take the sight of you lovingly sitting on Yoongi’s lap, playing with his hair while he conversed around, a beer in his hand while he sat sprawled out on one of the lawn chairs. You had those love-sick eyes that he loved seeing yet he only realized he loved them when they were on him.

You whispered and kissed him lovingly, giggling into his neck as his hands held your hips.

Was he really that fucking funny?

He watched the way he teasingly released the strings on the side of your bathing suit and you gasped and slapped his arm away, quick to tie it back up.

He wished it were him.

Fuck,

He wished he didn’t fuck up, yet here he is fucking up even the friendship you possibly could have had but he cold-shouldered you every time you try and show any kindness, or start a conversation.

He sighs laying on his back while his bicep covers his eyes from the blaring sun, trying to clear his thoughts away from you. He needed to stop thinking of you before he tried to jump off the terrace…

It was indeed an enticing idea at this moment.

Limbs barely contained himself at the mere thought of you having him wanting to torture himself in all kinds of ways. And when he feels the weight of the door to the terrace close shut, a heavy sigh escapes him ready to tell the person occupying his peace to fuck off.

But the words die inside his throat and shove back down into his esophagus when he sees you standing there with a credulous look on your face. Your dainty bikini and mesh skirt that barely covers anything flows with the wind, and your hair also blows in the direction the gust is coming from. 

You look ethereal Jungkook thinks, standing there all meek with a guilty look on your face, looking prettier than ever and that’s when he catches himself slipping, a smile almost etched himself onto his lips and he’s quick to turn away and clear his throat. 

A practiced scowl takes over and he looks back at you again. 

“What?” He asks, he even grimaces when it comes out a bit more aggressively than he intended to, and he feels his heart tug at the pained expression on your face. 

He was angered all of a sudden, it was because of your presence that he was escaping the pool and when he finds you here again it just did something to him.

All the feelings and constant regret, the doubts and fears, what if’s all clouding his mind in an array of emotions either through sadness and agony, or jealousy and anger.

He decided that he feels both when it comes to you, he feels everything when it comes to you and he hates himself for the wrong timing of his realization because Jungkook is beyond repair, and damaged the foundations of your friends so easily, what makes him think he had a chance to get to any level of a relationship with you now that he’s acted like such an asshole towards you?

Jeon Jungkook, ladies and gentlemen.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt I just wanted to get the donut floaty…” you trail off and your face suddenly starts getting warm from the embarrassment you feel from the exaggerated bored expression on his face. If a look could make you cry, it would be the one on his face right now.

“Or never mind I’ll come back for it-” You turn around and roll your eyes.

“You can grab it, I don’t care,” he says, laying back down on his back, glancing up at the clear sky.

You mutter out a weak ‘okay’ and quickly dig through the pile of junk in the corner near Jungkook’s chair. 

Fuck, Jungkook thinks taking a glance at you only to see you bent down, ass puckered out, bikini barely covering your nether region and he uses all the strength in him to look away.

“Can you find it any faster?” He grumbles, getting up to help you search for the damn floaty just so you can get out of here and he doesn’t have your presence interrupting his sulking thoughts…. of well…..you.

“I got it Jungkook you can sit back down,” you sigh, and he mutters curse words underneath his breath cursing whichever wicked person decided to let the fucking universe let this moment happen. 

Once you find the floaty Jungkook also realized he’s also grabbed a part of it, bringing it up at the same time as you, and it’s when you face him that he notices the close proximity between the both of you. You have a sharp stare aimed right at him and Jungkook moves in closer, eyes challenging yours while he slowly bends down to your level.

You breathe out a scoff when he’s near and Jungkook licks his lips, and it’s as if time freezes when he sees the same action of your tongue darting out that he has a small spark of hope lit off inside of him. The hurtful want in his heart tugging him towards you until he’s breathing you in, eyes casting down your face until the worst thing he deemed to be in the ENTIRE WORLD happens.

“Baby did you find the float!” 

Your boyfriend calls out, voice closer to the terrace and you scramble away from Jungkook, pushing at his chest gently while you manage to grasp the floaty in your hands.

“Yes Yoongi I’m coming,” you yell back, pausing at the door for a moment and Jungkook hopes with his whole heart that you turn around. Because if you do then the spark of hope in him…will ignite, it will give him the courage to try again.

But when you linger around longer than usual he sees you walk off without turning back for a single glance his way.

Damn.

———

Jungkook doesn’t see you for the next couple of months, randomly only getting updates from you on your Instagram that he stalks way too often than he should be. It was a guilty pleasure of his reality, it was his way of checking in on you without having to text you and he thought it was safer that way.

It was safer for his heart, and to save himself from embarrassment. But when Jungkook got off the clock today, showered and ready in bed to continue with his daily stalking, he noticed something different on your page. Something was missing and after staring at it for so long he realized the annoying lovesick hand-holding and disgustingly cute couple picture you had up of you and Yoongi—we’re all gone. Not even that you had taken down all your selfie picture he would stare at for hours, but that didn’t kill his mood. 

He was so beyond happy to see that maybe- just maybe you and Yoongi had broken up. Why else would you take down those photos? And every other selfie you had posted between the time period of you two dating. He wonders what’s changed, eager to know what had happened but Jungkook takes this as a sign from god and decides to send you a simple text, something not out of the ordinary. Maybe he shouldn’t consider how things went the last couple of encounters he’s had with you but what can he do?

The only girl he’s ever truly loved and cared for had finally learned her worth and moved on from him.

Ironic of him, truly

Wow he really was a shitty person.

To put things in that perspective Jungkook winces at the way he treated you, he strung you along, embarrassed you, and you took a strike to your dignity because of him.

He claimed that was because he wasn’t ready, or that his past relationship had haunted him, but really…Jungkook loved the attention. He loved it so he sometimes indulged in it, not really thinking about how it would have affected you in the long run.

You: ‘Sorry who is this?’

Had you really deleted his number?

JayKay: ‘It’s Jungkook’

You: ‘Oh uhh… sure we can meet up

His heart races in his chest, cheeks blazing as he finally gets to see you again. Maybe he’d apologize.

Hopefully.

JayKay: ‘Tomorrow I get off at noon, come by and we’ll grab some lunch :)?’

You: ‘Sure’

Jungkook can only hope that you accept the apology that he provides and hopefully his heart.

——

How Jungkook finds himself buried between your legs, your hands wrapped into his black locks while he madly eats at your cunt, he has no idea. But he sure does love the way you whine and sing soft moans out for him, head thrown back while you try and stay seated on the passenger seat of the car he was currently fixing, kneeling on the floor, legs half out the door and on his shoulders.

Shit, he didn’t know his form of apology would come in this way. 

But it just happened.

He holds your thighs open, tongue dipping out to softly lick and tease your folds, come back up to see your cunt spread open, flushed and glistening with his saliva spread so good, he groans.

“God I’ve been wanting to know what you tasted like for so long,” he groans, eyes still admiring his coat of spit on your warm cunt.

“Oh please Jungkook,” you moan, and he smiles coming up to quickly peck you as he gathers the saliva around his teeth, mouth pouting out a spike of spit and it lands straight onto your clit.

“Oh yes!” you pant, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel the spit run down your cunt and onto your ass. Jungkook dives right back in, taking both his hands to spread open your folds and nudge his tongue in, shaking his head to also nose at your clit. Your legs shake at the intense pleasure and all of a sudden you feel the sudden knot in your lower stomach form. 

“Oh fuck yes!” You moan out loud, and Jungkook takes this opportunity to come up for air and latch onto your clit, deeming you wet enough to plunge two fingers in. He moved in vampire speed, the soft moans and loud strings of his name only spurring him on, feeling your cunt gush and flutter every few seconds has him riled up in his overalls.

“Needed you for so long, now you're falling apart all over my tongue,” he moans into your cunt, indulging in your taste a little longer until he pulls his fingers out and detaches his mouth from your cunt with one last kiss to it.

“Fuck, stand up”  he says with a grin and disheaveled hair, you got up wobbling on your feet and Jungkook wraps his arms around your waist.

He tugs you closer and cups his other hand around your jaw, kissing your lips with a fierce passion that has your stomach turning and aching with want, butterflies fly throughout your bodies and onto each other clashing with the lacklustre of unsaid emotions between you two: ultimately making this moment even more passionate.

Fuck Jungkook thinks, hands now gripping your waist in an attempt to pull you flush against his pelvis and when you whimper into the kiss he detached himself with one final suck on your tongue and a slow bite on your bottom lip, eyes fiercely gazing down into your own. 

“Fuckkk you're so pretty,” he whispers, eyes skimming down your face, swollen lips, puffy cheeks and you smile coyly, shyly shoving at his chest for the compliment. 

“Come here,” he grins sitting inside the passenger seat of the car, reclining the chair all the way down before he gestures for you to come sit on him.

You throw your legs around his body, straddling him as his hands travel down and grab the flesh of your ass to scoot you closer.

“I didn’t mean my lap babe,” he smirks, and you quirk an eyebrow in confusement, when he manhandles you and drives your legs up higher his body, that’s when you understand and gasp softly.

“A-are you sure?” you ask, concern laced your voice and Jungkook grins, licking his lip as he aligns you over his face, your knees digging into the headrest space that’s available, arms grabbing the ceilings of the 4x4. When he nods in encouragement and you hesitate he delivers a slight smack to your clit making you jolt forwards but he knew you like it when a gush of arousal seeps out of you.

“Mmm okay ok, please tell me if I hurt you, I don’t wanna kill you,” you murmur the last part and Jungkook chuckles. 

“I’d die a happy man,” he smirk before spreading open your lips with his fingers, tongue darting out to lick and suck at your clit with a surprising pressure and Jungkook chuckles when you jolt forwards.

He buries his hand around the flesh of your thighs and holds you down so you don’t run away. “Ride my fucking face,” he grunts, and you don’t hesitate this time, sitting done properly on his face so that his nose aligns with your clit and your folds aim for his tongue. You breathlessly moan when you start moving up and down, and letting Jungkook bring you closer to your high.

“Feels so good,” you whine and Jungkook continues slurping up your cunt juices making sure to help you grind down on his face to get off. 

“Taste”, kiss, “So”, kiss, “Good” he says in between dipping his tongue into your cunt, feeling you pulse and flutter around him and he knows you're close.

“Gonna cum?” he asks and you whine, nodding your head eagerly. You place your fingers in between strands of his hair and slightly angle his face deeper into your clit so he can get you to your end.

Jungkook absolutely loves that you're using him, mouth open wide as he stares into your eyes, stains of tears running down your cheek at the intense pleasure, fuck.

He bucks his hip up to search for any type of release, and then suddenly he feels your legs shake in his grasp, and your head lolling back.

“Oh my god! Yes!” you moan out, riding his face faster and Jungkook braces himself for a couple of seconds to get you off, feeling himself suffocating underneath you, but he lets it happen. His arms loosen around your thighs as you bury yourself deeper into his face.

“Ahh, yes, ohhhh,” you drag out your moans and Jungkook groans against you, hand coming up to smooth over the skin of your thigh in an attempt to lift you off him.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry,” you flush from embarrassment, feeling the heat on your cheeks sore throughout your whole body. You raise yourself up for a moment, cheekily grinning down at his glistened face. You gasp, flying to gather your shirt that had flown off in the process of this, grabbing it to wipe his face meekly, softly dabbing it onto his skin.

“What are you doing?” he chuckles and you wiggle back down to straddle his thighs, softly placing a kiss on the tip of his nose.

You’ve missed him so much.

You let your eyes linger on his features, the same ones that you had imprinted into your own head for months, the same bubbly nose, thick eyebrows, and doe eyes that hadn’t been able to leave your mind for the past year. Even when you were in a committed relationship you couldn’t shake them away, even if you were happy with Yoongi you couldn’t shake him away. 

He was one of the reasons why your relationship with Yoongi didn’t work out, amongst others. The guilt was too much, committing to Yoongi when you knew that your heart yearned for another, your mind had that bunny smile plastered in every corner of your mind. 

The same pearly whites that he flashes at your curious eyes gazing down his face, and into his eyes.

“What?” he asks and you shake away from your daze, shyly grinning as you hop off his lap to adjust your skirt.

No.

You don’t want to put your heart through the torture of not knowing where you stand with Jungkook, again. You don’t want the uncertainty and all the doubt it comes with being involved with him.

So you take this time to collect yourself and ask him why he had texted you to come over, surely getting sidetracked this way wasn’t on the agenda that much you can tell by the surprised expression on his face and the initial shock on his tongue meeting your own in a fiery kiss when you first came in.

You cross your arms and smooth down your shirt and skirt, “Why did you text me last night?” you asked.

Jungkook properly wipes his mouth and sits up at the edge of the car to face you, eyes blinking cowardly while he racks his brains for a reason, you think. A reason to mask the truth of course because you know him. This is what he does, leading you into the mud until he doesn't need you.

But you want your answer now and you want it fast. You're tired of playing games with him.

After a prolonged silence, you start to sigh heavily and turn away from him making sure to hide away your broken heart and tear welding eyes from his own.

“I missed you alright, I really did” Jungkook blurts, stopping you in your tracks.

You turn around to face him, an expecting look on your face for him to continue, he blinks doe eyes absolutely lost and your brain moving 200km/hour, you can tell.

Chuckling you throw your head back and scoff, “Is it really that hard for you to tell me you like me?” you ask.

Jungkook’s face goes red, not denying or adding to your statement simply standing up to dust his overalls. You cross your arms over each other raising a brow at his silence.

He doesn’t say anything. After a beat of silence, you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief as you walk out of the garage, without a look back and Jungkook gulps back the lump in his throat. Distracting himself with the car he was working on, the car he had just eaten you out on top of, and his heart clenches repeatedly at your expression of disappointment from him. 

Forever printed into his mind.

—

“I thought you said this was a frat party, not a crack house” you complain, pulling the bottom of your short dress down with every step you take into the house. Hoseok snorts, hand reaching out for yours and you slip your fingers together.

“Do me a favour and shut up for a minute.” he rolls his eyes, eyes teasingly glaring at you. Reaching the living room, Hoseok finally lets go of your hand, calling over his shoulder that he’s getting drinks for the both of you. 

You huff, sitting down on one of the love seats, pulling your phone out. A bunch of hollers and whistles are heard throughout the house but one side of the room drives your attention, glancing at the other side of the huge living space you notice the ping pong games going on. Your eyes curiously dance over to the corner and see a familiar build, he’s shoving his tongue down a girl's throat, a circle of people surrounding them. 

You scoff, of course. When said man winks at her and tries to crane his neck, his eyes meet your own briefly, and you look away quickly. You are not surprised that Jungkook’s getting turnt at a random party with yet another woman. Unaffected anymore you look away, Hoseok finally coming back with drinks and you mumble thanks as he sits beside you, and starts conversations with the people around him. 

Your eyes lift once more and an even more shocking pair of eyes meet yours and at this, your heart leaps a little, it’s Yoongi looking even more handsome with long jet-black hair, his arms and chest looking buffer than normal. He sports a black button-up opened up with a white tank top, baggy cargo and a chain so shiny you can see your reflection.

“Oh ‘....’, Hello” he smiles, a shaky breath escaping him, you smile so wide, immediately jumping up on your feet to greet him, arms wrapping around his neck and his arms around your frame, pulling you so close to him your feet lift off the floor.

“How’s it going,” You sigh, pulling away.

“Good, calm and peaceful,” he lets you go and you smile.

“Just how you like it huh,” and he chuckles.

 “So what, you’re done your placement in New York?” you ask about his job that had stationed him there for a few months, right after your breakup.

“Yeah I finally got a permanent placement here,” he trails off, his arms itching towards you but he wraps them around his biceps instead, crossing them. The obvious instinct to reach out to each other is still fresh, muscles twitching into comfort soothing touches on each other's warm skin. You felt it too, felt your arms reach for his dark locks but had half a mind to control yourself, instead you smile so fondly that your heart squeezes so tightly. 

Two lovers who star gazed, spent hours upon hours in each other’s bed, body intertwined, souls intertwined. It’s a bittersweet moment, and you think Yoongi can feel it too, with the way his smile matches your own. 

You’ve always appreciated Yoongi, and always will. He was the first person that taught you what love meant, the first person to show you how you should be loved. Perhaps in another lifetime, you two would have been end-game, you think you’d be in love with him so hard. You don’t believe in the right person wrong time, but you sure do believe that Yoongi and you were meant to be in another universe, another era of your life…..if your heart wasn’t already struggling with the feelings of another man, you’d think that Yoongi would've been for you. 

—

Jungkook’s eyes stay glued to the way you smile and the way your hands naturally intertwine with Yoongi’s, animatedly talking. Yoongi matched the smile you sport, a gummy smile he reserved for you, otherwise, his eyes were stern, a look so means that people could think he was killing em with it. 

The dynamic between you two was weird, you guys seemed as if you have nothing in common, you are so bubbly and outgoing and Yoongi just seems so- unbothered and low energy. Jungkook guesses that you both mesh perfectly despite the differences like you both were end-game even broken up and it has him discouraged. 

You looked so happy, and Jungkook cursed under his breath, insecurity and jealousy bubbling inside of him. 

“We shouldn’t,” you say, and Jungkook’s ear perks up nicely looking at the way your gaze softly cracks its calm facade, distress clearly on your face as you turn and find his gaze. Yoongi’s head turns his way as well and he has half a brain to look away. You must have said something about him because what is the coincidence of the both of you looking his way at the same time? 

He notices Yoongi is not by your side by the end of the night. You get out at the same time as him.

“You good?” he asks, eyes watching the way your frame sways side to side, eyes slightly puffy and glossy, but you still have a smile on your face. Maybe you’re a bit tipsy.

“Yes Jungkook, im good” you sigh, and he doesn’t miss the slight irritation in your voice.

“Good….. that's, good” it falls silent between you both and Jungkook lingers around, staring at your side profile as you type away on your phone. He doesn’t know why he stays around for longer but he talks again, to get the conversation going.

“I was thinking about what you said last time…” he trails off, he wasn’t lying he was thinking about the last conversation you both had, but he didn’t mean to tell because he has no idea where he is going with this.

“Okay,” you respond, eyes trained on your phone as if you didn’t believe him.

“So…yeah” he concludes, sighing deeply when he fails you yet again.

“What did I say last time?” you ask, putting your phone back into your purse.

“I don’t remember saying much for you to think about,” you chuckle, crossing your arms, mirroring him.

“Im sorry,” he swallows and he watches your face break out into an amusing one, scoffing lightly.

“Ok” you blink, and Jungkook’s eyes almost tear up from frustration. He’s good at reading people, and he’s taking your disinterest in this conversation badly. He really knows he’s fucked up, beyond repair.

“Well if you don’t know what you want still,” you pull out your phone, “I’ll be on my way”.

“How are you getting home?” he asks in panic, he needs to have this conversation with you.

“Uber.”

“Let me take you, we can stop by and grab some burgers from-”

“Jungkook,” you sigh defeatedly. Raising an accusatory finger up at his chest you step closer.

“I don't have time for you anymore, you’ve wasted my time over and over again and Im tired of this back and forth between us. You made it very clear you don't want me like that, and I’ve learned to accept it. But you keep hanging on to me, you keep….keep– hurting me.” You whisper the last part and that has Jungkook grabbing your wrist.

“That’s not it, I do want you ‘....’” he sighs and his eyes are teary now, watching you trying to wiggle away from his grip on you.

“You never let me finish talking, there's so much I want to tell you” he sighs, you wipe your tears with your sleeve, pliant in his hold now.

“My intentions were never meant to hurt you, I never meant to make you suffer. I struggled at first, and then you got into a relationship, and now you’re single, I had and still have to respect that.” He takes in a deep breath.

“You wanna know why I broke up with Yoongi Jungkook, you want to know why I’ve left possibly one of the most loving people I’ve met in my life……hmm?” you press, jabbing your finger into his chest and Jungkook stumbles back.

“Because I was in love with a coward! a stupid fucking coward, who couldn't confess back to me all because he wanted to keep fucking around” you yell, voice breaking out at the end, and his fucking heart aches.

Aches cause it’s now that it really hits him how much he has hurt you. 

He never intended that, ever.

Fuck.

“‘…’ I-” he says your name but you scoff sharply, chuckling but no humour is found in your tone.

“I thought loving you was supposed to be the best thing ever, but all it’s done is hurt me and I guess it’s my fault for springing my feelings onto a man that doesn’t want them,” you sniff, a weakened smile on your exhausted face and Jungkook breaks.

He grabs your arms to wrap around him, hard tears falling off his own eyes when you bury your head into his chest. It’s like letting a dam go, all this time he’s been keeping you at arm's length for what? Because he’s scared? Scared of committing, scared of disappointing you.

Scared, Scared, Scared.

What a coward.

What a coward Jungkook is.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry baby I never wanted to hurt you, it was never supposed to be like this….” he says. And all of a sudden he’s angered, frustrated at you. Why did you have to love him of all people, 

And why did he have to love you back?

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

3 Years Later

Spring is such a love-hate season. You either enjoy the wildlife and plants, or resent them very, very, much. You're in between the two right now, trying to enjoy the beautiful flowers that grow in your garden, and keeping up with your plant shop that has different lilies and sunflowers sprouting, beautifully— you may add. But as you fail to control your sneezing and red eyes, you decide to pop another allergy pill that may do the trick, you think.

You're just glad that the weather isn't so wet and dull, and well on its way into the warmer season and bikini tops. Sighing lightly you manage to finish your watering and inventory for today, deciding to take your lunch around noon, you lock the shop and put up the lunch sign. There’s a cafe that has just opened down the road and you’ve been wanting to check it out for a while, it keeps coming up on your feed and Hoseok has been bugging you to try it out. 

Walking in you take a look around the beautiful shop, it was wooden and green themed, with lots of plants and high ceilings that showcase the sun beaming on the customer's faces. It smelled even more divine as you took in all of the blueberry and raspberry scones on display, chocolate croissants, and the smell of all types of coffee roasts. You are probably the biggest coffee fiend, being able to tell the difference between dark, blonde, and regular roast coffee. It was a gift, but it was also the skills that come along with being an addict.

The man in front smiles at you, “What can I get for you?” he asks and you can't help but beam, ordering every flavour of scones and a matcha latte, your heart already full of happiness from the beautiful array of desserts, making sure to snap a picture at one of the tables and sending it to Hoseok and your mom.

You enjoy your little scones and latte, getting up to grab some napkins at the register-

“Hyung it’s been a while,” you hear the barista address the man at the counter, with a mouth full of the blueberry scone and napkins midway to wiping your lips you take a glance at who he is addressing.

No-

You chuckle lightly to yourself, blinking a couple of times to confirm the face you see and it's more than enough evidence when he speaks, ordering two drinks.

Fuck

You quickly swallow the scone, moving back to your seat and accidentally make eye contact with him on the way of you rush out. You see a flash of recognition twinkle in his eyes yet you fleet fast, and far away back into your shop, basically running down the block like a mad woman.

You don't know why you reacted that way. Maybe it was because you haven't seen him in so long or maybe it was the woman that he had tucked in between him and his arms, a fond smile on his face as he regards her, ordering drinks for the two.

Your heart starts to clench uncomfortably, the night you last saw him replying in your mind.

“I think it’ll be best for the both of us to go our separate ways, Jungkook” You smiled sadly, unravelling from his embrace. You saw the stain on Jungkook’s shirt, salty tears from you seeping onto his skin.

“You should learn to love someone the right way, and when you find that person I hope you’ll treat them the way I would've liked to be treated,” You say, watching the Uber arrive. You reached up on your tiptoes to leave a kiss on his cheek, one that prolonged longer than it needed to and Jungkook can feel the depth of it in his soul, in his heart….slicing through it.

“I will, ‘...’ I will baby,” he swallowed.

That was how you both had ended things over three years ago, you finally grew the balls to  block him on all social media, his number, and his face from your mind years ago…. until today. You know you’ve moved on. You have, you have moved into the city finally, opened up your little floral shop with whatever savings you’d have left and fled your boring office job. You loved life, you loved being alone and cropping all day long. 

You had developed a new routine, new habits, new crushes, new experiences, new feelings, new friends, and most importantly a new mechanic in all those three years alone. Technically Jimin wasn’t new but you both had gotten closer, common interests and the building you both had lived in had brought you both together. He has become one of the most important people in your life today, and rather than bombarding you with everything that went down with his buddy, he has managed to successfully divert you from the pain. And it was like you didn’t know a Jeon Jungkook. 

He had disappeared from the face of the earth because you had forced yourself to forget his existence, and it worked. Until today, until you had to see him today so happy with his girlfriend. Although that makes you happy that he has found someone, that he has matured enough to develop a relationship like that, the feeling had a bittersweet taste on your tongue.

—

“Don’t bring any more pies because I currently have like five of them sitting on my kitchen counter, I beg,” Namjoon complains through the phone. 

You chuckle, carefully placing the blueberry pie onto your lap on the passenger seat, “Well that’s what happens when you host a dinner party, Jimin and I are gonna be there in 20 minutes,” you make a kissy sound into the phone before putting it down.

“I bet he doesn’t have a blueberry pie yet,” Jimin chuckles, reversing out of the parking spot and you shrug.

“He said there’s already five pies, three out of those five are probably apple, and the other two are pumpkin” You shrug and Jimin chuckles at your blurt.

“Perhaps,” he says. A frown settles deep onto his face while he drives and you notice it but don't say anything, humming along to the radio.

“I would much rather ditch this for a movie and a greasy burger,” Jimin winks and you roll your eyes.

“Hey, we can’t be rude he prepared dinner and plus I thought it would be nice for us to interact and make new friends.” You pout and Jimin chuckles, a little nervously but you brush it off.

“Okayyyy…. But if you change your mind just let me know we still got a block left” and you giggle slapping his arms playfully.

—

Well fuck….

Grabbing Jimin’s arms before he can zoom past you and into the living room, you hiss into his ear, “Why is he here?” you say interrogatively, and Jimin blushes lightly, wincing from the hold you have on his ear.

“Fuck, im sorry ‘..’ I tried to get you to bail,” he shrugs and you huff, taking your heels off as you scramble past him to greet Namjoon.

Jungkook and his partner are here and you do your absolute best to not get their attention in the huge living room Namjoon has, constantly keeping yourself ten feet away you think you're successful until Namjoon asks, “Oh have you met Jungkook and his fiance?” he pulls you towards them.

The air is knocked out of you as you hear the word fiance, but you collect yourself, your heart weirdly clenching as you make eye contact with them. Namjoon introduces you both and you shake her hand, watching as the beautiful petite woman shyly greets you and makes conversation. You have half a mind to nod and answer vaguely, eyes roaming her small face, plump lips, red hair, dress tightly fitted around her hips and waist perfectly. 

“Nice to meet you kyomo” you tightly smile, you can feel the obvious gaze of Jungkook eyes on your face so you turn and greet him as well.

“Jeon,” you nod, and he pronounces your name back.

Namjoon looks between you both, your hand sliding into his smooth one softly as he shakes it slowly. He seems to never look away and you find yourself not being able to do the same.

His hair is short now, and his lips sport a silver ring. He’s wearing a plain black shirt and slacks that make him look mature and put together. You think you can smell his signature cologne on him still, strong and musky, yet soft and gentle just like his face. He’s bigger, broader than you remember and he still has brown doe eyes that expand and sparkle, you always loved to say he wore his emotions in his eyes. You could always just tell from them.

“It’s been a while, how are you?” He asks and you slide your hand from him, taking a step back, glancing away.

“Good, I'm gonna go find Jimin Joon, enjoy your night guys,” You're quick to retreat out of the situation, heading right for the bathroom upstairs and turning on the water. Your lips tremble slightly and your eyes are welled up with tears, why? You don’t know because you have been over him for years now.

You can’t breathe, and you can’t seem to shake away the painful ache in your heart that seems to beat faster and harder just thinking about him now, him getting married, him getting mature, him moving on from you so fast.

He’s getting married, Jungkook is getting married.

“You in here,” you hear your name being called from the other side of the bathroom door, you open it immediately getting pulled into an embrace. Jimin’s arms wrap around your frame as you quietly sob into his shoulder, he knows. He doesn’t ask because he knows.

They always said distance made the heart grow fonder, but you just think that your heart likes to set you up for the worst.

—

The party goes on, roasted dinner praised by everyone and you watch as Joon blushes, telling everyone to keep their voice down. Once finished, everyone heads over to the patio for some drinks and desserts. You offer to clean up, and after much protest Namjoon lets you, and you pat his back in appreciation.

 “You already did so much tonight it’s the least I could do.”

Gathering the dishes and throwing out plastic utensils and cups you manage to clear the dining table, you look through the cabinets for a pair of gloves to get started on the dishes, rummaging through cupboards and cupboards.

“I think he keeps them above the stove,” You recognize that voice, and you muster a tight-lipped smile, reaching up to grab it but failing to do so with how high it is.

“Here,” he offers, coming up behind you to open the cupboard and grab them. You shut your eyes tightly and manage a calm facade when he hands it to you, thanking him with a mumble before you put them on.

“You gonna need help?” he asks after a moment of you gathering dishes. Help would be nice, but you wouldn't prefer it from him.

“Nah im good, thanks” you smile, getting to work.

Jungkook chuckles, grabbing a pair of gloves for himself, “Scoot over, I'm helping” he says and you momentarily meet his gaze and look away without a word as he helps you soak and put dishes into the dishwasher.

It’s quiet for a while, successfully cleaning the dishes and loading the bigger pots in the dishwasher.  

Jungkook’s staring again, a little awkward so you speak up.

“How long have you been together?” you ask, and you can see Jungkook visibly stiffen.

“Over 2 years now,” he says, and you nod. You make a move to wipe the tables and Jungkook’s coming to help you again.

“I think I’ve got this, you can go and join everyone outside” You turn around abruptly, stopping him in his tracks. 

“I thought we could catch up,” he smiles. And you almost scoff out loud, whether you're bitter because of Jungkook’s marriage announcement or the fact that he has the audacity to try and keep things natural between the two of you as if he didn’t break your heart in two….

Maybe the latter but it still hurts. And all of a sudden everything feels fresh like he just left you a day ago, broke you a day ago. 

There’s a reason why you both didn’t work out? Was it because of Jungkook incapabilities to communicate or his lack of feelings for you? You don’t know but one thing you do know is that Jungkook never really loved you like he said he did if he wasn’t able to work on his problems for you. 

Jungkook never loved you enough 

Enough enough enough 

You weren’t enough for him and the thought has bile rising up your stomach. It has your heart skipping beats and incredible hurt seizing through you. 

You were never enough.

“There’s nothing much to catch up on really, I-”

“I’m sorry for the way things ended,” he sighs, your name slipping past his tongue so tiredly.

“Look, can we just look past this and- and be friends again?” he’s hopeful, he looks hopeful. His eyes are tender and his body language screams frustration.

Perhaps

“Of course” You reach a hand out to him, he’s smiling, putting his bigger hand with yours for a handshake. You feel….okay. This feels okay now, your heart doesn’t feel like it’s ripping in two and for once you're not reminiscing about the past. 

Your content, you’ve moved on.

“Let’s work on our friendship this new year, let’s not look back anymore Jungkook,” you say and Jungkook nods eagerly. 

“I agree.” 

There was no hatred, no passive tone, no hidden anger or jealousy in your words. You truly meant it, and you hope he understands.

“Baby, are you coming?” Kyomo calls and Jungkook’s eyes leave your face to his fiancés on the patio. His beautiful wife stands, reaching a hand out for him to grab. He looks back at you, but you encourage him with one last nod and divert your attention back to the counter.

“Yeah, yeah I am….” he trails off, you think you see him send a small smile your way before he goes out but you don’t care anymore. 

You're just happy you're free now.

#jubgkook bts bts fic btsjungkook bts reactions jungkook smut jungkook fluff jungkook angst jungkook x you jungkook is a sweetheart #bts angst #bts smut #bts fluff #jeon jungguk

[sugaredrhubarb]

Reading with Ru: 2023 oct/nov/dec fic and book recs

Hello hello! Back again with some final recs from what I was reading towards the end of the year. Gonna start with cod because that's where most of my moots are, and then some from other fandoms and published romance I've been enjoying as well.

Just in case this goes outside my little circle, please check the tags of anything I rec; I'll try to mention if I think something is particularly dark, but don't read anything you won't like!

COD

landscape with honey by @ceilidho - (bear shifter!price x reader) starting with ceil because, at this rate, I can't write a list without including her. my friendship with ceil partially started from bugging her asks about bear price, so this one is always gonna be special, but I genuinely love it, ceil writes blatant dubcon really well (as we all know), but I think it's in fics like this—when the hero is just a little off, and the reader is caught between what seems too good to be true and a gut instinct that something isn't quite right—that her writing really thrives. Anyway, I'm okay with a big, burly man hibernating with me in a cozy cabin in the woods for a winter. (side note: we need to be talking about ghost x feral witch reader more)

Mind the Drop by @sprout-fics - (BDSM au, price x reader) more aftercare in fics!!! This wonderful one-shot is based in a universe where people are biologically designated as dominant or submissive. Reader is a sub who is feeling the effects of some missed aftercare, which Price takes notice of and offers his... assistance. Honestly, this is just some really well-written comfort and aftercare from a fun concept.

My daddy didn't love me, so I guess I've moved on to you by @makoodles - (price x reader) clearly, I was back in my Price era, and this fic hits on the central theme of my attraction to him in the first place: daddy issues :) So, if you may want to read 17k of Reader and Price succumbing to their attraction and mutual daddy kinks, this one is for you.

Light On by @peachesofteal - (ghost x singlemom!reader) I feel like everyone was reading it, but if you haven't checked out this lovely story yet, please do! It's nice to take a break from the darker fic, and this one is so lovely while still acknowledging Simon's trauma and obsession. Peaches is an excellent writer, and this sent me down a rabbit hole of single-parent fics and books! I could read so much of this.

Pornstar!ghost by @ghosts-cyphera - ( x reader) lo is on a little break right now, but this is another wonderful entry on the soft side of cod fic. I really enjoy Ghost's charisma and confidence on display here, and every update had me giggling and kicking my feet. (I found lo through her price wife x 141 post, which is also a must read)

okay, so @ohbo-ohno (hopefully) knows I love her, and she wrote a ton and is constantly throwing out mind-bogglingly yummy drabbles, so here are some of my favs from her kinktober and 1k celebration: price x reader breeding (surprise, surprise), soap x reader somno (drugged noncon), 141 x reader orgy, ghoap ft price deepthroating, 141 x free use reader (the dream), kingpin price x reader, ex husband price x reader, gaz x reader a/b/o, and my personal fav I think about all the time ghoap x brand new vampire reader. Maybe got a little carried away, but I adore Bo's work, and she has a unique ability to make everything hot.

And finally, @charliemwrites. When making this list, I was tempted to just rec everything Charlie has posted in the last few months, so if you aren't reading her stuff already, I'm jealous that you get to experience it for the first time. Obviously, it would be a mistake to not start with her current fics: charmed slasher simon (he's a serial killer, so violence warning) and woof woof johnny, which are both so fun and compelling, I get so excited whenever I see a new update. I almost daily think about this dark(ish) Price decides you're his wife post. Charlie also writes just wonderful fluff and lighter but emotional relationships too, and both childhood friend simon and bodyguard!gaz have a special place in my heart

other fandoms

casualties by little fools writing/tianawritesfic - (darklina) yet another person I could rec every single work by. This is a boyfriend's roommate cheating fic with the perfect amount of mean man.

You kept me like a secret (i kept you like an oath) by burninghoneyatdusk - (darklina) I genuinely think everyone should read this; it's modern setting, so no canon knowledge needed. Alina wakes up after an accident and discovers she's pregnant, but she doesn't remember the last year of her life, doesn't know who the father is, and most importantly, doesn't remember the affair that ended her relationship. I could talk about it for ages, but I'm just gonna share my comment on the last chapter: "every action, line of dialogue, description, and internal thought felt deliberate— not a single word felt wasted. you stripped both aleks and alina bare and it felt impossible to not take them in completely. i don't even know how to talk about the therapy sessions and alina's healing. the exploration of her guilt, her past, her anger, her confusion it all felt so earnest and raw. what a gift to read."

Bury Us Both by morriganmercy - (Lavinia Lucia/Nick Bruin) this is sibling incest! For the love of god, don't read it if it's not your thing. I know nothing about The Royals of Forsyth series (books?), but this was recd by someone, and I saw the tags codependency, slowburn, heavy angst, pining, and religious guilt, and now here we are.

bonus! published romance I enjoyed

links are to goodreads

Return to Monte Carlo by Cate C. Wells - set in 1982, fmc runs away from her stifling life with her rich italian husband and his snobby family before discovering that she's pregnant. fun, smutty, warning for miscommunication galore. i saw some comments about the fmc being immature but she's swept into this crazy life at like ~19 so idk enjoy your smut and stop thinking so much.

Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath - a widowed duchess must learn to get along with a notorious self made rogue when he is given guardianship of her beloved son. I'm a sucker for historical romances and for single parent stories but the combo is so hard to get right and this one did it for me! while sometimes a little ridiculous, i felt the characters actions had clear motivations. watching the mmc's relationship with the son grow was really nice and it actually made sense given his backstory rather than the sudden "guy who hates kids suddenly cares" trope other books do. (warning for discussions of childhood abuse and sa)

Luna and the Lie by Mariana Zapata - say what you will about MZ slow burns but no one else can get me to read 600 pages for one sex scene at 95% in. are most of her character's really similar? yeah. but they're never annoying and i love that they're always good people trying their best. i love all the small details and i love me an older man who is secretly down horrendously bad only to gets worse and worse at not showing it.

Icebreaker by Hanna Grace - people have things to say about this book. do the characters get together early on? yeah. do they hook up in the back of an uber filled with their friends? also yeah (i thought it was hot so). is their very little plot in a 400 page book? sure. i'm here for a good time not to be intellectually challenged. i actually enjoyed seeing their time together and really enjoyed that they just fucking communicated even if there were mistakes along the way. plus big nice hockey player who cares about consent? swoon my little canadian heart.

check the reading with ru tag for more!

#reading with ru #oh boy it's so hard to pick favs #if you read any of these lmk!! #ao3 #fic rec #fanfic recs #fanfiction #cod #darklina #book recs #romance books #romance recs #i had an aneurism trying to make sure everything was linked right

[andypantsx3]

Hello,

I wanted to ask how to keep yourself motivated to write these long series?

Hello my love!!

The answer is that I don't always!! I cannot advocate enough for the importance of taking a break from something you're getting burnt out on. I see a lot of people beating themselves up for not being able to power through things and just finish them up, but in my experience that only hurts your creative process and leads to you disliking the work!! And the most important thing about writing fic is not finishing it, it's enjoying it, because it's a hobby!

For example, I accidentally took nearly a year-long hiatus from incendiary because I find it tough to write and review due to the seriousness of some of the undertones!! And I think doing so was absolutely the right call, because I was able to keep writing by working through and completing other, easier projects like fingerprints and Deceiving the Duke, which let me build my confidence back up to return to incendiary recently!!

I think it can also help to write little drabbles or one-shots in between chapters of a longer fic, to help scratch the itch for diversity! Which leads me to another point:

You want to spend time identifying what is the appropriate length of a fic for you at this point in time. I have aspirations of writing like 160K word fics like @/ofmermaidstories, but I find that I get antsy as I get close to the 25K mark and start wanting to work on something else.

So instead, I've slowly been building up the average length of my fics over time (like, cover shot was 16K, savvy was 17K and conspire was only 13K(!!) compared to my most recently-completed fics Deceiving the Duke at 30K and fingerprints at 38K). But this is only because I started from the bottom and learned to close out fics on a smaller scale first; it makes it easier to gradually work your way up to writing a longer fic if you're doing it by adding maybe only one chapter or 1K extra at a time!!

The last point I will make is making sure you're planning your fic in the way that is most helpful to your process. For me, I can't continue to write if I don't have a full roadmap ahead of me, and don't know which points I should be hitting chapter-to-chapter. So I have to make sure I plan my fics out in advance to the appropriate level of detail in order to ensure I'm equipped to keep going. On the other side of things, some people think that planning a fic out too much is akin to already writing it, and they lose interest in completing it, as they already sort of feel it's concluded!! So I would think about what level of planning will help you stay motivated, and make sure you're sticking with that!!

Anyway I hope this helps!!!! Sending you my absolute best vibes and cheering for your success!!

#ask andie #writing advice

[setsailtomorrow]

any chance you have foxhole court fic recs?

yes, let's do this!

so, these are all au fics (because i don't remember canon well enough) and they're also all neil josten/andrew minyard - because i'm basic that way.

quicksand 89k, M, likearecord

Andrew and the Idiotic, Thirsty, Ill-advised, Very Off-Limits Crush on his College Roommate's Younger Brother.

this was just done as i started looking for fic, no wonder i continued! after reading this one i then read every single fic by the author. so do that. for example, please read catfish as well

A Different Matter 59k, E, djhedy moonix

After college, Neil is drifting and a bit lost. When Matt makes him move in with him and his housemates, Neil isn't sure what to expect. Finding a family, having casual sex, and then promptly ruining that by falling not-so-casually in love is not on his agenda, though.

you can also go ahead and read most of moonix's stuff!

Muscle Memory 20k, E, elesary

Andrew wakes in the hospital, years after the last thing he remembers, with nothing but a handful of out of date promises and a wrecked car. He is purposeless, adrift, unable to find solid ground. 

Except in the blue, blue eyes of the scarred stranger at his bed side.

amnesia trope! always a nice good one. this does have call backs to the book series, but it all makes sense.

hello world 37k, M, lolainslacksss

Everyone on the US national team knows that Andrew Minyard and Neil Josten hate each other, so of course they all think it's hilarious to force them to share a room in the name of 'team harmony' for the entirety of the Exy World Cup.

An enemies-to-lovers/professional Exy AU

i didn't really like how the author wrote about the olympics (i would like to fact check them staying at hotels, the drinking, etc) but the actual story is good.

overmorning overnight 5k, T, skullcaid

Maybe it’s because they’re eating healthier due to Allison losing a bet against Kevin. Maybe it’s because their genes are just strange. Or maybe it’s just fate being weird. 

or, the twinyards suddenly hit their Growth Spurt™

this one has a part two, read that one as well!

Too Good to be Good For Me 18k, E, orphaned

"Your next shoot is with Andrew Minyard."

Neil's a porn star who hasn't realised just how good sex was, until Andrew.

quite porny, very hot. and it's a whole series!

loving you is muscle memory 3,5k, T, Talls

Neil has temporary amnesia, and Andrew is disconcertingly attractive. This is especially disconcerting because Neil was pretty sure he didn't swing. Nicky is endlessly pleased by the entire situation.

when the main material features a violent sport, the fandom ends up with some great amnesia fic.

Fake It 'Til You Make It 17k, T, gluupor

Neil works three low paying, dead-end jobs and makes just enough money to afford a room to sleep in and to keep himself from starving. He has no prospects, no hope, no future. That all changes when a chance encounter results in a job offer that he can't ignore.

The job? Pretending to be professional exy player Andrew Minyard's boyfriend.

gluupor is another name to click!

#fic rec #fic rec andreil #i really don't like that shipname #but eh #so yeah #i've read a lot #since the 1st of march #according to my ao3 history #do yourself a favour #and read everything likearecord #the list could have been all their stuff #so many great tropes

[shyanshippingsociety]

Shyan Shipping Society Mod Fic Rec List - August 2022

hello and welcome to the august fic rec list! your mods ve, shade, cerys, juice, rowan, and nicole have gathered some of our favorite fics (and commentary) for your reading pleasure! enjoy!

Ve:

Modus Broperandi by strawberrymilano | E, 28K, complete

Shane’s never had a bro bone in his body. Except, lately… Lately, whenever he sees a bro, he falls into natural bro behavior.

It’s an out-of-body experience.

Ghost!Ryan AU.

I'll be upon you by the moonlight side by drunkkenobi | E, 22K, complete

“It’s weird, you know.”

“Weird” wasn’t the word Shane would’ve used. Terrifying, scary, awful, upsetting, grotesque, sure, but weird? Not high on his list.

“What do you mean?”

“Just that Sara would get bit by a wolf on a full moon.”

“Ryan.”

Shade:

hey boy, take a look at me by weakspots | E, 17K, complete

Ryan is 27, for Christ’s sake, and he’s not exactly hideous, so there’s really no reason to spend his money on a dude — a dude — whose face he’ll never see but whose livestreams he’s been jerking off to for roughly 4 months now. He should be going out and partying and fucking random chicks. Or a guy, whatever, just to get it out of his system and confirm to himself that he really is 100% straight.

Because he is. This is morbid curiosity, if anything.

Teacher's Pet by chapscher | E, 24K, complete

“You aren’t describing a teacher’s pet! You’re describing… I don't know the name for it. Someone who tries to seduce their teacher so they can get a better grade.” “Isn’t that a teacher’s pet?” “No!” _ Ryan is tired of losing every episode of Puppet History and asks Shane to tutor him. Shane obliges and tries to keep the tutoring session on track even as they distract each other.

Cerys:

The Hierophant by carrieonfighting | T, 94K, complete

“So kids, for the last week, we’ve been discussing the fundamentals of duelling.” Shane lounged easily against his desk, robes hanging open haphazardly. Ryan snorted to himself, sitting at the back of the huge room, and he saw Shane’s ear twitch.

“So today, now that I have a partner, it seems like a fantastic time to demonstrate!” He announced. It was Ryan’s turn to twitch. “Professor Bergara is your new Divination teacher, he’ll be starting his classes after the weekend. Please stand up, Professor.”

“E-excuse me?” Ryan said, turning terribly red.

In which Ryan sees the future and moves to Scotland, meets his hero and isn't impressed, hears strange noises in the night, and interrogates some ghosts. After all these years, the castle still keeps its secrets.

A Gentleman of Spirit by breathtaken | E, 21K, complete

Newly impoverished and grieving the loss of his father, Mr Shane Madej is only attending Lady Bergara’s ball at Walcot Hall so that he can write an anonymous report on it for one of the gossip columns. He isn’t expecting to find the Baronet of Walcot’s eldest son – as rich and handsome as he is eccentric – attempting to contact a spirit behind the coach house; he certainly isn’t expecting to fall in love.

Juice:

Do I have a crush? by Dippingmytoesindreams | T, 2K, complete

No, he does not. AKA, Buzzfeed Violet’s Crush series, but make it shyan

Oh, Ryan by VictoriaAGrey | T, 10K, complete

Ryan thinks the holiday season is going to be a predictable affair until Ned calls in a two year old debt Ryan owes him. Honoring that two year old debt sets into motion an avalanche of bad decisions and miscommunications that land Ryan at his parent's house on Christmas Day with a baby and a best friend pretending to be his boyfriend.

Did he also mention Shane's living with him?

Rowan:

tender violet blue by 2many2spirits | E, 7K, complete

“Why’d you do it this time?”

“You asked,” Shane says with a shrug, and the enormity of the statement hits Ryan in the chest with a two-second delay, almost knocking the air from his lungs. Ryan’s never prepared for the way Shane can deliver absolutely devastating blows in the most casual way. It’s one of his most charming qualities. “And you’re so small, I couldn’t let you get hit by a wave and pulled out to sea on my watch. Linda would kill me. I’d have to walk back to LA.”

or; the intricate ritual is skinny dipping

(no actual rituals happen)

Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered Am I by colazitron | E, 17K, complete

Look, just because Ryan looks good dressed as Indiana Jones, or dressed in various other things, and just because Shane maybe has a feeling or two about it, doesn't mean it's a thing, okay? Shane's got this.

Or: 5 times Shane had a feeling about Ryan's outfit, +1 time he did something about it

Nicole:

Like Wildfire by makemadej | E, 20K, complete

“Is this gonna be a thing with you?” Ryan demands. “You can’t keep committing to stuff that no one else knows about! When people online say they want you to be more open and vulnerable, this is not what they mean.”

“I know!” Shane wails. “I fucked up.”

“Again,” Ryan points out, which is true but really not necessary.

(Or: the one where Shane accidentally tells Ryan's mom they're a couple and they commit to the bit)

Nicole’s Note: The first Shyan fic I ever read, which was my intro to the ship and the reason I joined the SSS!! 

The Weird 'Verse by Little_Bunny | M, 169K, complete

It really started for a stupid reason, and that stupid reason was the Ohio State Penitentiary.

But then, things got set into motion, and before they knew it, the relationship between Ryan and Shane had changed in relatively subtle but hugely important ways. Ways that are a little weird. Ways that nobody had expected, although Sara had given her full, unwavering support.

Well... Maybe Curly had suspected something. But honestly, Curly got the gossip before God herself, so... That was nothing new.

Nicole’s Note: Queerplatonic Shyan/Shyanara with some of the best characterisation I’ve ever read!! You know a fic is good when you end up with tons of your own headcanons for the universe it’s set in 

we hope you enjoy our recs! as always, leave comments and kudos on fics you like - those mean a lot to authors! and feel free to let us know if you have any recs!

- the mod team

#mod ve #fic finds #mod fic recs #shyan #buzzfeed unclean #buzzfeed after dark #shyan shipping society

[vwritesaus]

There is a house on Curzon Street that James has taken a liking to.       An old dwelling, its design belongs easily to a bygone British era, yet it continues to stand strong. Four storeys high, it blends in with the surrounding houses of red, brown, and black brickwork, with countless windows trailing high to the sky and elaborate entryways of wrought iron railings and archways.       A completely ordinary-looking house for this part of London. There’s nothing truly exciting about it, at least by comparison.       And yet James can’t stop staring at it.       He allows himself to drink in every detail despite already knowing them: the rusty patch on the fence, the few steps leading to the dark blue front door, the number of windows, the pot plant in the corner of the top step, the grey curtains of what could be a living room, the golden glow of the ceiling light pouring through one of the top window panes…       His heart dances funnily as he roves over them all, as it usually does. This time, however, the yearning is so strong, James wants to go and knock on the front door, just to see inside.       But he can’t do that. That’s weird.       ‘What’s so special about it?’ Matthew asks.       ‘I don’t know,’ James whispers earnestly, shrugging helplessly. He places a hand on his chest, rubbing along his sternum over his shirt and adds, ‘It just… it’s like my heart knows it. Thinks it important. For whatever reason that may be.’       His throat closes off, a large lump forming, and a wave of remorse crashes over him. He doesn’t say anything else in fear of not being about to speak—but not that he needs to for Matthew links their arms together and gently pulls James into his side. James’s head falls on Matthew’s shoulder and the house wobbles dangerously in his vision.       This house.       This damn house.              Something shifts in the air and his head flies up. Matthew makes a stunned sound. James ignores him.       For the briefest of moments, like a glitch on a screen, James sees a woman in emerald green with tumbling red hair standing by the front door. She throws a radiant smile over her shoulder at him and James’s lips silently form the syllables of her name.       And then she’s gone.

why HELLO THERE and welcome to my biggest project to date that i've poured my blood, sweat and tears since august last year: a TLH modern/mundane au & reincarnation au set in 2013/14 London! i posted some of this back in october, but after much editing and reworking... it's back, new and improved >:3

but srsly like i said in the older posts, i’m so so excited about this story. it’s been my baby since i finished COI, and when i say ch1 is a whopping 17k... yeah. the size of this fic worries me but hey, when the brainworms hit, what can you do?

and it's only gonna get longer once i get my hands on my copy of chain of thorns, mark my words

to start with tho, here's an altered excerpt from chapter 1!! i'll be posting the full chapter on saturday night/early sunday morn AEDT so stay tuned~ ✨

and a huge shoutout to Mary (@ferrari-go-vroom-vroom) for betaing, thank you soooo much, you're the best 💜

~

tagging people who might be interested: @astriefer @drunkonimagination @melanielocke @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @livingformyself let me know if you’d like to be added to or removed from the tag list!!

also FYI i'm only tagging adults as the fic (currently rated M) will be heading towards rating E territory in later chapters

p.s. please keep the tags/reblogs/replies free of chain of thorns spoilers for the foreseeable future!! thank you <3

#the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #the last hours #tlh #james herondale #matthew fairchild #cordelia carstairs #the last hours fanfiction #tlh fanfiction #the last hours fanfic #tlh fanfic #fanfiction preview #fanfiction #fanfic #modern au #mundane au #reincarnation au #timeless #AHHH i can't believe im finally gonna be posting this at the end of the week!! #it seems surreal like #i've been steadily working on this for a solid 5 going on 6 months #and no joke this is my most ambitious fic to date

[twstgameplay]

Hello octo mods ☺️ I’m here right at the beginning of EN Joint Exams! I know you’re terribly busy so I wanted to give some cushion time before you can get to answering my ask!

My goal is SS this exam, and I’m hoping you can help. So far I’ve reached SSS in omni basic, water basic, and flora basic. Every other basic/defense exam, I’ve hit SS.

My lowest scores (stays at 17k) are my defense tests :( I’d really like some advice on building some good defense teams especially since this next joint exam is so defense heavy.

Halloween Silver, Dorm Leona, Dorm Riddle, Dorm Azul, and Dorm Rook are fully maxed in both spells and levels and buddies.

Dorm Vil, 6/10

Halloween Jade 2/6

Dorm Jade 2/6

Birthday Lilia, 2/5

Dorm Epel, 5/6

Dorm Floyd, 2/6

Camp Ruggie, 5/10

Dorm Trey, 10/6

FG Leona, 5/10

Birthday Silver, 6/7

Union Vil, 3/7

Halloween Vil, 1/5

Halloween Cater, Birthday Riddle 1/5

Club Lilia 5/1

Every other ssr is not leveled

All of my SRs pictured are at least 5/5, some even maxed.

My current teams for:

Fire Defense:

Dorm Trey, Lab Lilia, Lab Idia, Dorm Azul, Dorm Jade

Water defense: I genuinely forgot I don’t think I have a good water defense, barely scraped to SS

Cosmic defense: Dorm Trey, Dorm Azul, Halloween Lilia, Halloween Silver, Halloween Cater

(Exam score images are sent in a separate ask)

Joint exams allow to borrow strong supports so it'll look a little different from regular exams.

Fire Defense

Your fire defense team is good. There are a few suggestions that we have.

🐙: I use that team, except I would use two Dorm Azuls and replace Dorm Jade. This way, I have 9 water elements. The risk of killing on this team is really big, so highly suggest that you leave one of Azul's second spells for last. Assuming all cards are maxed, that team will get you at 21k+.

👑: I would replace Lab Lilia with support Dorm Trey or Silk Jamil. It depends on how much damage you are lacking to end on 5-1.

For regular Fire Defense, I would switching Lab Lilia for either Club Lilia or Silk Cater. Club Lilia has a heal and curse immunity to allies which is very useful for exams that have area curse. Silk Cater is Dorm Trey M HP buddy and has a heal as well and more HP than Lab Lilia.

Water Defense

Dorm Trey

HW Cater

Dorm Leona

Union Vil

Dorm Trey Support

Since your Leona is Lv.95 with Vil in team, be careful of potentially killing too fast. Otherwise, assuming your support is a Lv.110 Trey, this team has around 65k+ HP.

He is not in the picture but if you have Robes Ortho, I would consider raising him for his Flora heal. DW Idia too is recommended to raise if you have him.

Cosmic Defense

Cosmic defense is always a little tricky because every hit is a neutral hit and you might not have enough power to end on 5-1.

Dorm Trey

HW Cater

FG Leona

HW Silver

Dorm Trey Support

This team mainly relies on Silver and support Trey in dealing damage. It isn't guaranteed to be enough, but the amount of heals should be good enough to get you above 11k score.

Or you may also do:

Dorm Rook

Dorm Epel

Dorm Vil

HW Cater

Dorm Trey Support

Damage is at least guaranteed, with Dorm Rook in team. It would be preferable to have Dorm Cater than HW Cater, but finding a good Cater support would be pretty difficult. If you somehow find a Lv.100-110 Dorm Cater, though, by all means, use him and replace HW Cater with Dorm Trey.

~ 👑 & 🐙

#unified exam help #anemone viru #mod zuzu

[365runesoftheamalgamations]

The Not Yet Shifted Months pt.2

hello and how are you?

Another month has passed for us and we are happy to report that we are still going strong! We thought that the first Month we did this was super cool and nice to see, especially for ourselves, so we are doing it once again!

Let's Get Into Everything, Shall We? Month: September | Year: 2022

Writing Milestones:

🌱 Progress on The Not Yet Abandoned Works has been slow this month. We ended up picking up some different Projects and all, but we did manage to get some solid work done, we think!

Grayland's Shadow 02 Drafts | 37 Chapters | 17k Words | Chapter Rewriting

The Plague Begins With Me 01 Draft | 06 Scene Drafts | 4k Words | Scene Drafting

Marathon Runners 01 Draft | 15 Scene Drafts | 10k Words | Scene Drafting

Mitch's Journals 02 Volumes | 07 Stories | 13k Words | Story Writing

The Vagabond Child 01 Draft | 05 Scene Drafts | 2k Words | Scene Drafting

The Rapunzel Witch 01 Draft | 05 Scene Writes | 4k Words | Chapter Updates

🌱 We revived an older WIP from the Not Yet Diminished Masterlist, called Constellations By Orion, and plan on giving it more attention as October comes and goes.

🌱 We created an Intro Post for The Rapunzel Witch, and got out three Chapters of the Story, along with a random Ficlet just for the fun of it!

🌱 We started a Ko-fi and managed to reach over 100 Page Views and are up to 4 Followers! :D

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Tumblr Milestones:

🌱 We hit the Fifty Follower Milestone, at the beginning of the Month and we are soaring as we make our way onto the next Milestone! We also had 29 New Wanderers coming along for the ride, which is honestly amazing!

🌱 We had an absolutely AMAZING month of Seven Hundred+ Notes! Honestly, this is more than wonderful and we are so happy to be getting into Tumblr, making wonderful mutuals, and shouting ourselves into the Void for Tumblr to share throughout the Worlds!

🌱 We ended up falling off one of our Writing Challenges, but the other one held true for the rest of the Month! We will be trying to commit fully to them once again in October, in prep for NaNoWriMo!

The Great Motivation Experiment 43 Asks Answered | 8,854 Words Written

The 30 Days, 30 Lines Challenge One Attempt Made | Longest Streak: 10 Days

🌱 We joined the C.A.N.S. Discord Server - and if you want a community just in time for NaNoWriMo, or just want a good server for writers, you should too ! - and we love it. The events and soft sprints and everyone being vibrant and wonderful is just wonderful, we are more than hyped for November!

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September Shifting Into October:

🌱 We are going to be participating in different October Prompt Writing Challenges this year, in prep for NaNoWriMo! We want to get our writing habit up and going and we think the Challenges are a perfect way to do it! We will go into more detail about it in a different post, but here are a few glances at the Challenges we are doing!

100 Drabbles Challenge Will be used in tandem with the Great Motivation Experiment.

Inktober/Writing Prompts We like doing tiny drawings paired with poems or small snippets of writes for Inktober.

Whumptober The main writing Challenge and focus for the Spoopy Season.

🌱 We will be emptying out the Draft Hoard, in order to prep for NaNoWriMo and with all of the challenges we are participating in, we are more than confident in our ability to actually focus on something!

🌱 We will be introducing some more WIPs, again in preparation for NaNoWriMo, and so you will be seeing some more Works from The Not Yet Diminished Masterlist come to life before November rolls around!

🌱 We will be doing mostly new works, and will be working on our Blog and Kofi, so we will more than likely not hold any of the older works in the queue this month.

Thank you so much, if you stuck around and got to know what happened during this month! May this shift into the next month be smooth and gentle and filled with promised for everyone!

May The Odds Be Ever In Our Favor! :D

until we write again,

#background noise #long post #monthly wrap up #amwriting #writings #tumblr stuff #statistics #writingcommunity #writerscommunity #writeblr #highlights #milestones #rambles of the author #shifting months

[windblume]

i think i couldnt have gotten 33* on this abyss cycle if i didnt drastically change fischl and albedos artifacts and also gotten a better sands for xingqiu that gave him more crits and em. i think victory is always in the supports

#xingqiu still has 2pc noblesse 2pc hod. lol. but like hes doing so much good damage with it and i find that bc of the stats #hes actually outperforming my other xingqiu on the asia server. so. #<- who has 4pc emblem #albedo has mediocre stats but he has the new artifact set now rather than 2pc noblesse 2pc petra and also his weapon now too #instead of harbinger of dawn. #so now at max stacks his E hits 17k instead of 12k like before #and i got fischl a new goblet and gave her saras blackcliff bow LOL sorry to my gf kujou sara but i dont actually Use her to fight lol. #i had considered the blackcliff bow on fischl a long time ago but i kept the prototype crescent on her bc i figured the crit dmg trade off #wasnt worth it bc her crit rate was only 44 help!!!! #but with her new goblet and the blackcliff bow she now has like. 52 rate and 165 dmg #and still 2099 atk. which i think is much better ^_^ #i still wish i had the alley hunter for her -_- OR A STRINGLESS LIKE HELLO!

[wangxianficrecs]

I'm in the mood for a fic where...

I have almost 40 of these, so I broke them in half.  If your request isn’t here, just wait for the next post.  Also, I’ll need more help than usual, because I didn’t have a lot of time to find things.

***ANNOUNCEMENT***  Y’all might be interested in submitting your Mood For cravings to the @mdzs-kinkmeme​, where authors lurk with pens ready to slake your thirst.  It’s also a prompt collection on AO3: Mó Dào Zǔ Shī | The Untamed Kink Meme 2021 Q1.

~*~

1. Do you know any fics where Wei Wuxian grows up in Quinhe with the Nie sect? I just got the thought in my head that Wei Wuxians moral compass is actually very similar to that of Nie Mingjue, who believes in fairness and justice and pursues both relentlessly, even though their personalities couldn't possibly be more opposite, with Wei Wuxian being quite arrogant and eager to prove himself, and Nie Mingjue being rather down to earth and humble. Also I kind of enjoy the idea of Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang as partners in crime and I think it would be awesome if they had grown up together.

My Non-Yunmeng Wei Wuxian post has a Nie section in it.

~*~

2. gosh I love your blog so much.....you're really out here being the fandom mvp 💯💯💯 [Aw, thanks!]  so, my question is, can you recommend some fics where wwx is a teacher? preferably post-canon with baby lan juniors, but I'll also take modern au stuff; I've exhausted everything I could find with my limited searching capabilities and I am THIRSTY for this trope!! it's just what wwx is so perfectly suited for, I could go on for hours about teacher!wwx lmao (also I'm going to start my own teacher training in a couple of months' time, and as someone who projects on wwx far too much, it just really hits the spot yknow) [Good luck with the training!!!]

Here are works I’ve tagged with #teacher wei wuxian.

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 139k, wangxian, first in series, my post)

Something Good by boxoftheskyking (T, 43k, wangxian)

put our dreams through the shredder by Rinnoa (T, 125k, wangxian, WIP)

And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, wangxian)

The envy of the world by vulnerable_bead (E, 49k, wangxian, my post) -  Teacher! WWX, *and* post-canon, *and* with Lan juniors

what do you mean this goes in that by yeasting_laozu (nanthebread) (T, 10k, wangxian, WIP, my post) - sex ed teachers wangxian

Discources on Salt and Iron by dragonofeternal (T, 13k, juniors & wei wuxian)

no fear of fire by chomrafy (G, 4k, wangxian) -  WWX teaches LJY the dizi; informed by the author’s own experience as a flutist

#teacher wei wuxian tag on AO3 has 61 works!

~*~

3. Hello! Your blog has been one of the things that kept me sane in this pandemic and I am thankful to you for that! [Thank you!] I have a question if you know any fic where wwx has jyl's tenderness? Sort of like a fic where wwx swapped personalities with jyl, and he became like the supportive and gentle older brother. Thank you!

~*~

4. Hey do you know any fics in which people comment on or notice mo xuanyu wwx and lwj's age difference?

Help, My Dad Is Fucking Someone My Age!! by sweetlolixo (T, 3k, wangxian)

~*~

5. hello! can you recommend fics where wwx suffer poverty/his life is just generally miserable please, modern or canon era doesn't matter thank you!!!(↑ω↑)

May I Breathe by GammaRays (E, 75k, wangxian, WIP)

Where You Fell by Sweet_William (M, 191k, wangxian, 3zun, sangcheng, WIP)

~*~

6. Do you know any fics where Wangxian break up and the whole story is just angst until they get back together? Maybe they can't even stand being with each other because of some misunderstanding, idk, I'm in the mood for a lot of angst.

Tempo Rubato by Spodumene (E, 108, wangxian, my post)

the necromancer's fairytale by iliacquer (E, 17k, wangxian)

Life as a House by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 55k, wangxian)

estuaries by mrsronweasley (E, 34k, wangxian)

How's It Going To Be by heartsdesire456 (E, 19k, wangxian)

~*~

7. Hi !! I'm so thankful for all your hard work ~ it's so entertaining and I found some of my favorites through your blog !!  [I’m so glad!]  I was wondering if you know any fics where JYL is strong- cultivation speaking ? Like- she also fights from the beginning and is generally badass ?  Thancc u in advance ✨

Here is my #BAMF jiang yanli tag, which is primarily any work by KouriArashi

❤️Love made visible by Moominmammashandbag (M, 30k, wangxian, jyl x wzl - a pairing that was supremely perfect, my post)

❤️Here Again (Spirits Rise, Unbroken) by TheDefenestrator (T, 74k, wangxian, WIP, my post)

Jiang Rising by eebee (M, 99k, wangxian, WIP)

Sail Away Sweet Sister by sami (M, 74k, wangxian, nieli)

~*~

8. yooooo do some of you know any fics where there's a younger top!lwj? kinda liking the dynamics right now. thank youuu

Conquering the Emperor by catbrainedschemes (E, 21k, wangxian)

until i make you mine by mellowflicker (E, 6k, wangxian) 

~*~

9. Hi! I've read few interesting LZ fucks fics from your recs [hee, hee, hee]; in which either LWJ hooks up to cope with his crush on WWX, then WWX finds out, is into it and realises his feelings; or they are strangers and start to hookup as some kind of arrangement. Now I'm looking for something different and more angsty, where they've known each other but WWX is not fine when he discovers that LWJ fucks. Maybe it hurts him since he's already aware of his feelings, or it somehow makes him feel less worthy of LWJ?

(our friendship) up against the ropes by daltoneering (E, 36k, wangxian)

Dolores (the power of suffering) by lanzhanofgusu (M, 19k, wangxian, WIP) - roles reversed

show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 116k, wangxian)

So I love you because I know no other way than this by Trueredhearts (E, 21k, wangxian)

~*~

10. Hello! Do you or your followers could recommend fics where there are 2 Lan Wangjis and 1 Wei Wuxian, or the other way around 1 Lan Wangji and 2 Wei Wuxians???? Is there a tag about that in ao3? [Oooh, there should be, but I don’t know it.]  Im trying to look for fics like that but it is difficult to find!

How to Deal with the Conundrum of Your Past Self: A Case Study by anatheme (E, 17k, wangxian)

Incense Burner (Reprise) by sevenless (E, 6k, wangxian)

Beyond Your Mildest Dreams by giantomelette (E, 6k, wangxian)

Round One? by orphan_account (E, 3k, wangxian)

Everything I Hold Dear by sealdog (E, 9k, wangxian)

In all our multitudes by exmanhater (E, 6k, wangxian, 3rd of series) -  its got postcannon incense burner fem!wwx/lan zhan/transwoman!yiling matriarch

~*~

11. Are there fics in which lwj loses his golden core?

Molten Gold by jesso (M, 17k, wangxian, wip, my post)

walk away from the sun by KouriArashi (M, 104k, xiyao, wangxian, WIP)

stay, fury, your wrist wrapped in silk by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 10k, wangxian, WIP)

Wish Me Luck by Starlight1395 (not rated, 164k, wangxian, sangcheng)

~*~

12. Hey I was wondering if you knew of any fics where wwx is the youngest sibling?

For Both Of Us (And Time Is But A Paper Moon) by sami (E, 65k, wangxian, jiang cheng & wei wuxian) -  WWX and JC are the same age as in the canon, but JC is mentally older and asserts his sect seniority over WWX

the thing with feathers by RoseThorne (G, 39k, wangxian, WIP) -  technically same age but bc wwx lost his memories, jc is gege by their logic.

~*~

13. An in the mood for ask: Stories that are the opposite of Yunmeng brothers reconciliation - where wwx doesn't reconcile with jc. I just rewatched ep 34, so I am not very jc-friendly right now. Are there any fics where wwx confronts jc for not helping wq+wn, or for how he treated wwx before and after timeskip? Where wwx honors jyl's sacrifice as her choice, and jc doesn't get to blame him for it? Where wwx says, I don't owe jc anything? ~ @kitsileya​

keeping score by hauntedotamatone (T, 7k, wangxian)

of past and present by Here_For_This (This_Rocks_My_Socks) (T, 7k, jin ling & wei wuxian, wangxian)

on the importance of restraint (or lack thereof) by nixtothou (G, 4k, lan sizhui & others, background wangxian)

on restitution by Anonymous (M, 67k, wangxian, WIP)

~*~

14. Do you know any fanfics where a) everyone thinks lan zhan and wei ying hate each other but in reality they are together b) wei ying and lan zhan announce that they are together and no one believes them. Also thanks so much to you and your followers helping me find such amazing fanfics 🙏

14a.  

Let's See How Long Nobody Notices by narikanyan

14b.

Marital Claims by yeolinski (M, 6k, wangxian, my post)

happy not knowing by plonk (not rated, 16k, wangxian)

~*~

15. Hello there. First of all, I cannot thank u enough for ur hard work, it has been life-saving for me. Ure heaven sent really. [Aw, thank you!]  And if u'd be willing, for ur next "in the mood for" session, I'd like to request some fics with the plot where WWX is being badass in his own way(any way really) and face-slapping the people who always underestimated/insult him and makin then eat their words or smth. Or WWX being his genius self and breaking people (negative) expectations of him. Thank u for ur time, have a good day!

Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, wangxian)

Cultivating immortality by KizuKatana (M, 123k, wangxian, WIP)

OP First Disciple tumblr fic by @shanastoryteller [note to self:  OP = over-powered] 

WWX as BSSR’s Disciple tumblr fic by @shanastoryteller​ .... NOW ON AO3!!!   Become Tomorrow by ShanaStoryteller (not rated, 8k, wangxian, WIP) ​

The Earth Rings In Your Ears by bluerainmist (M, 60k, wangxian, WIP)

Teen Project to Change the World by animeloverhomura (not rated, 358k, wangxian, xuanli, WIP)

~*~

16. Hi :) I was wondering if you could share any fics where wwx and lwj get together early on/at the cloud recesses lectures. Thanks!

Magical Marriage Ribbons by starandrea (M, 482k, wangxian, series in progress, my bookmark)

Looking at You Always, All Ways by Keysmashed (T, 29k, wangxian, first in series, my post)

how a smiling homeless child melted jade hearts and got a home by anxiouswreck0_0 (T, 42k, wangxian)

~*~

17. do you have anything inspired by chapter 119? [Ah, Bichen-as-dildo and spanking and older wwx from the future w/young lwj]  swordplay, knifeplay, anything featuring bichen/siubian :) thank you!

~*~

18. Could you recommend me some fanfics where LZ hides WY in CL and one of the juniors or all find him

Cryptids are not Permitted in the Cloud Recesses by crossdressingdeath (E, 96k, wangxian, WIP)

where do we begin (the rubble or our sins) by KouriArashi (T, 42k, wangxian, my post) wwx is hidden, but no juniors except little a-yuan

❤️whipstitch by curiositykilled (M, 131k, wangxian, jin ling & wei wuxian, my bookmark)  JC hides WWX at lotus pier instead

Better, Greater, or Otherwise Different by ChloeBYoung (G, 23k, wangxian)

~*~

19. hi! do you know if there is an au wangxian that is based on the movie your name? or some fic where they are dancers? please, thank you!

19a.

here are some bodyswap fics, but not necessarily derived from Your Name

6 works on AO3 listed as Kimi no Na wa./Your Name fusions

19b.

does your pretty face see what he's worth by defractum (nyargles) (t, 18k, wangxian)

space, skin, muscle, bone by tombenough_and_continent (T, 24k, wangxian)

Unstrictly Ballroom by Ariaste (T, 48k, wangxian)

notes on a scene by wishingswell (M, 28k, wangxian)

~*~

20.  Hello! For your next 'in the mood for' post, I'd love some more modern AUs/ideally slow-burns where wangxian meet/bond over A-Yuan, a la The Simplest Way Forward or say it's here where our pieces fall in place ~ @ratheralark

@scifikimmi​ (scifigeek14 on AO3) says, “Tell number 20 im working on a fic for their topic rn. But it maybe be several more months til it drops as it is half scribbled in a notebook rn lol”

paint smears on sunny days by SnowshadowAO3 (E, 54k, wangxian)

so take my hand (take my whole life too) by cicer (E, 92k, wangxian, my post)

Here we go Again by Scrippio (T, 38k, wangxian, my post)

~*~

21. Any fics were LWJ has dissociative identity disorder?

~*~

22. Hiii, im looking for fics where a-yuan is lan zhan's, not wei ying's, biological son like in box your errors by mellowflicker 🥺🥺🥺 it was so cute, wwx helping lwj with baby a-yuan and falling in love in the process

here, this moment by everythingispoetry (G, 4k, wangxian)

LWJ is a single father via adoption might have similar soft energy:

Where's Your Emergency? by trippednfell (M, 65k, wangxian)

say it's here where our pieces fall in place by Lirelyn (E, 69, wangxian)

I know what my heart wants by yakuso5u (not rated, 28k, wangxian)

AO3 tag #single parent lan wangji has 53 works

~*~

23. Any fics where LWJ was banished from the Lan sect?

All Exits Look The Same by Ahlai (T, 15k, wangxian)

~*~

[My ko-fi.]

#wangxian #mdzs #the untamed #wangxian fic finder #in the mood for a fic #i haven't read these unless noted #crowd-sourcing #fic finding #fic finder

[joyofkinoko]

After hitting ten million subscribers and receiving larger supernatural requests, leader of the Budget Ghostbusters, Choi Soobin is on the lookout for a new assistant to help carry the load. Enter you, so desperate for a part-time job to pay your bills that despite your lack of paranormal interest, you lie on your resume and claim to have psychic powers - and just like that, you are hired!

.: 17k words .:. female reader .:. strangers to lovers .:. fluff, comedy, hurt/comfort, paranormal :.

.: tw: paranormal elements, mature language :.

.: masterlist .:. budget ghostbusters :.

Day after day, interview after interview, and you remained jobless.

It’s something you can’t even blame on an unimpressive resume or bad interview skills, because unfortunately, it really is just bad timing. With summer vacation approaching, many young high school student, single parents and college graduates are scrambling for summer jobs too and you just applied a tad too late.

It’s not like you needed a job either, but you were starting university in the fall at a school an entire two-hour bus ride away. Plus, a couple extra won every month for a car by the time winter comes around sounds good. You’d asked your moms about getting a car for your birthday, but now that you’re an adult, they’d suggested you take responsibility for something as important as this. Of course, they had warned you that it wouldn’t be an easy feat at eighteen, but you’ve historically been rather stubborn, cunning, and though it’s embarrassing to admit, you’re aware that you certainly land somewhere in the ‘chaotic’ column of the moral alignment chart.

Whether you’re good or evil though, you haven’t quite decided yet.

And though you certainly didn’t have the time to earn the exact amount of money you’d need, you figured that a full-time summer gig (or at least several part-time ones throughout the next few months) could at least be enough for a used car off of the Facebook Marketplace.

Unfortunately, without the gig of your dreams and without opportunities placed on a silver platter, you were left slouched on a naked mattress in your bedroom late on a July evening scrolling through Instagram while waiting for your bedsheets to finish in the wash. There’s a post from one of your mutuals, some girl you’d graduated with; a girl with blonde hair, a rich dad, and in this particular photo, she’s in a bikini with giant sparkly earrings, location-tagged in Mykonos.

Mykonos. That one place in Greece with the bluest waters and the bluest skies where every rich person goes during the summer.

The worst part was that she was also nice, if not a bit too nice if you’re honest. Her boyfriend got caught in a dramatic cheating scandal and she was none the wiser about the whole thing, forgiving him and forgiving the girl he’d been caught with. You also remember an incident when her lab partner was insulting her for not knowing what she was doing, and she just agreed and promised to do better.

Poor girl.

At least she could afford beautiful blue Mykonos for the summer.

But you don’t have the time to continue envying the brand names all over her Instagram, because your phone is buzzing from a private number.

You don’t normally answer these, but it’s ten in the evening and you’re bored. Maybe you can even make a friend out of whatever scam artist is on the other side. Maybe if they pay well, you’ll even join them.

“Hello?”

You hear a hesitant laugh from the other side, and you can’t quite pinpoint the male voice yet but it’s certainly familiar; and well, the voice knows your name. “Um, hey.” 

Putting the phone on loudspeaker and placing it on the space next to you, you reply, “Uh yeah. Who is this?”

“Aw, don’t remember me?” The voice chuckles. “It’s me, Beomgyu. Choi Beomgyu.”

Choi Beomgyu.

Choi Beomgyu, who you’d met and known once upon a time back in elementary and later in junior high. You were never best friends or anything, but you spent three years straight as seatmates and partners in every comm tech and films class. All good memories. Never did you think you would see him reaching out close to four years later, though.

“Oh my gosh, hey!” You greet happily, rolling over to lie on your stomach and resting your chin against your propped up hands. “Long time, no hear.”

“Ah, that’s the Flower Girl I remember,” Beomgyu comments endearingly from the other side of the phone in remembering your affinity to making cheesy little remarks.

You audibly scoff at the old nickname. Flower Girl. Back then, you had thought you were so cool; prettier than the other girls as you came to school every day with a flower tucked behind your ear in your hair. Not to mention that the flowers were fake too. “I’m doing alright. Nothing too special, to be honest. You?”

“Actually, I’m calling about…” Beomgyu responds, stumbling over his words in a slight hesitance you almost don’t notice. “I’m about to make the strangest offer.”

Though you know he can’t see you, you nod in inquiry. “Offer away.”

“Are you free next week?”

You smile, ready to hear whatever offer he claims is strange. “Yes?”

“Do you want a job?”

And time stops.

It’s as if God has finally taken pity on you, bringing a blessing down from heaven to you in the form of your junior high seatmate and whatever strange job offer this is. You’re not even sure why it’s you he wants to hire or how he found you after all this time, but you are grateful nonetheless.

But of course, you can’t afford to sound too desperate. “I’m not really looking for a job, but as I said, I’m free,” you start, hoping to sound nonchalant. “If it’s not hard work, then I don’t mind earning a few extra won.”

Beomgyu sighs through the phone, and you realize maybe he’s just as desperate as you are for you to take the job. “Okay, well, I don’t know if you know what I’ve been up to recently, but long story short, I’m in a… media company and our boss has been complaining about the heavy workload,” he begins to explain, though you don’t quite connect the dots yet. “Since our company has a very particular standard, we don’t just wanna put up a hiring post online, and well, I thought of you.”

Choi Beomgyu wasn’t kidding when he used the adjective ‘strange’ to describe the offer.

You feel the need to ask, so you do. “Why? I mean, why me?”

“Because you’re the only person I can think of who knows about filming and editing the way I do,” the boy admits. “It’ll be easier to work with someone I’m already familiar with.”

“But I wouldn’t be your assistant, I’d be your boss’ assistant, right?”

“But you’d still be working on production. I’m sure you’re going to some sort of post-sec school soon? It’ll be a good experience.” And that point makes you want to take the job because it’s true. You’ve chosen to major in video production and what better opportunity than to take an assistant job at some mysterious media company. But as you continue thinking about it, Beomgyu utters the words that fully convince you:

“We’ll pay over minimum wage.”

And after a few other exchanged pleasantries and answered questions, you end the call claiming to need the night to think about it some more, already knowing full well you’ll be shooting him a text in the morning accepting the job. If you play your cards right, you might even land a full-time production job with whatever company this is.

As long as it’s over minimum wage.

But now the remaining questions were “where the fuck does Choi Beomgyu work?” and “why would they pay some random teenage girl over minimum wage for unvetted work?”

When you pull up Choi Beomgyu’s Instagram, you finally connect the dots, remembering that you technically already knew what he’d been doing for the past few years; it just happened to slip your mind. And considering the few years that have passed, scrolling through his posts makes you want to wish you’d kept in touch.

Because Choi Beomgyu is a YouTube star.

Or, well, he’s the cameraman to several which has also put him into the spotlight.

He’s the cameraman to the Budget Ghostbusters, a group of boys who investigate haunted places and strive to collect paranormal evidence despite their lack of actual training or knowledge. It was a whole two years ago when they’d initially gone viral. All they did was spend a Friday the 13th at a cemetery overnight and they gained overnight success because of their humour, their unique take on the niche genre, and the boys’ naturally good looks. And with online support, a green SocialBlade, zeroes in their bank account, and their brotherly bond, their official channel was formed and so became their multi-million won company.

Damn, you really should have kept in touch with Choi Beomgyu.

You’ll admit, you weren’t subscribed to them, but you also can’t lie and say that you’d never heard of them. The five of them seemed nowhere near problematic, their videos seemed well put-together and entertaining even when they’d recycled material before just like any other influencers, and if Choi Beomgyu now is as nice as he was back then (which he definitely seems like it), then these are a group of boys who deserve their success.

The discovery that your old friend is now an internet celebrity sends you into a rabbit hole, and you find yourself spending the rest of the night (after folding your laundry and putting your blue sheets back on the mattress) binging through the group’s most popular videos. You figured that if you were gonna take the job, you’d need to familiarize yourself with their content anyway.

They’re an entertaining fivesome. You’ve never had any particular interest in the paranormal, especially due to the Ouija board incident of your childhood, but it’s clear that the personalities of the boys make the subject so much more entertaining and engrossing. Beomgyu’s fantastic with the camera; you realize too. It makes you kind of proud that he started out making silly films with you all those years ago.

It might not be so bad working for a group as seemingly wonderful as them.

When you wake up a little past ten in the morning (having slept late), you immediately confirm your interest in the job with Beomgyu and he sends you an equally enthusiastic response, scheduling you for an informal interview with his boss in the late afternoon at a cafe. His boss is Choi Soobin, and holy fuck were you nervous.

If Choi Soobin in person is anything like he is online, then he’s tall, sweet, handsome, charming, and well, you just aren’t in the position to be swooning over your potential future boss.

You spend the majority of your afternoon getting ready, showering, and making sure you didn’t look like trash but making sure you weren’t dressing like you were heading to a date. Just an ironed blouse, a pair of clean jeans, and a positive attitude - hopefully enough to hire you even if it’s just for next week.

You take a bus down to the agreed location, walking into the cafe, and scanning the room. It’s a quaint little place in the heart of the downtown, wooden furniture and golden lighting combining for a homey cabin atmosphere in the coffee shop. There are a few baristas behind the counter, a few couples, and a group of students clowning around by the couches. And of course, you spot Choi Soobin at a booth near the corner of the cafe, a leather bookbag resting on the floor by his feet.

He hasn’t noticed you yet, so you take your time to calm down and observe him from afar, and let’s just say, you are immediately taken aback. Choi Soobin looks even prettier in person, hair once dyed blue now faded and skin pale against the dark shades of his outfit of choice for the day. You notice he’s one of those people with a resting smile on their face, small dimples appearing on his cheeks despite not really smiling at anything in particular.

No wonder their initial video went viral.

His face was the thumbnail.

You walk on over to him, waving shyly when he looks up and greets you with the brightest smile. “So you’re Beomgyu’s friend?”

Nodding as you take the seat in front of him, you kindly reply. “That’s me.” You give him a practiced smile, introducing yourself as you both awkwardly shake hands over the table.

“I’ve already ordered a coffee for me, but I didn’t wanna get you a drink just in case you’re not a coffee person,” Soobin says, avoiding eye contact with a bashfulness you weren’t expecting. “They have smoothies and stuff here too, I think.”

“It’s okay!” You reassure him with a mirrored shyness. “You come here often right? Recommend me something.” Soobin looks up and you two make eye contact for the first time. There’s a gleam in his irises as if endeared by your interest in his opinion. That’s a good sign.

He points out a few of his favourite items from the menu and even makes the order for you in a gentlemanly fashion. The casual atmosphere almost allows you to forget the reason why you’d even planned to meet in the first place. Within a few minutes, you’re both sitting back at your corner booth, a black coffee in his mug and a raspberry lemonade in your tall glass. Things at least feel much more comfortable now.

“So, any questions about me?” You prompt, nervously getting on with the interview.

Delicately using a napkin to dab at his lips, Soobin thinks for a moment before answering. “I’ve honestly never held a job interview so I’m a little lost on what kind of questions to ask,” he shyly admits with eyes cast down at the table. “But it helps that Beomgyu described you a little.”

“Oh?” An eyebrow quirks in interest. “And what did Beomgyu say?”

“That he trusted you,” Soobin answers without hesitation. “Even after all these years.”

You nod, taking a sip from your drink as you let his comment sit. It’s really sweet and genuinely heartwarming to hear that your old friend still thinks so highly of you and your abilities. “And you’re willing to hire me based on a biased testimony?” It’s a bit of a forward question, but it’s testy, showing Soobin you’re a strong personality on your own.

When Soobin looks up in interest, you know you’ve made the right response. “I’m willing to hire you based on the fact that you came out here,” he carefully replies. “It implies that even after all these years, you still trust Beomgyu in return.” You smile at that. Soobin’s a smart person, and you’re glad he doesn’t disappoint at all on that front.

“I didn’t even think about it that way,” you admit in acknowledgment.

“I value loyalty,” Soobin states, and the eye contact you make only proves his conviction to you. It’s admirable.

You can’t help but smile. He’s as warm and considerate as all their videos make him out to be. “That’s beautiful.”

“What do you value the most?”

You blink. It’s a little out of place for a regular job interview, but you’re intrigued nonetheless. Choi Soobin is much more interesting than you’ve given him credit for. “Self-preservation,” you answer honestly. “I was bullied at a young age because I have two moms and it’s always stayed with me.”

Soobin nods, looking down at his drink in a deep ponder. “Every man for himself,” he mutters, more to himself than out loud to you. “Good for you.” It’s a comment that requires no reply, so you offer him a silent and grateful smile to let him know you’re grateful he isn’t judging you for it. He sighs in front of you, looking up and ready to ask you another question. “Now, since everything I know about you is only based on Gyu’s memories, tell me something about you that isn’t on your resume.”

Good question.

In fact, it’s a brilliant question. Your resume is a page long, filled with your volunteering history, the part-time retail job you had at 16, your expertise with film and video equipment, and other random skills such as your bilingualism and your proficiency with Microsoft Office programs. It’s everything that a future employer should want to know about a potential hire and yet here you are, faced with an inquiry on something about you that isn’t on paper.

Soobin wants to know something interesting, and you provide.

“I like your videos,” you say, placing the spotlight on him but Soobin’s face remains at his happy neutral. “I’ll admit, I didn’t actually watch any before.”

“Oh?” You’ve surprised him. “Did you know that Beomgyu was working with us, or were you just not interested?” Even in his voice, you can hear he’s beginning to have an attitude about your honesty; but you’re ready to turn his opinion right back around.

You nod, looking down at your drink. “Well, I had no clue what Beomgyu got up to after we went to different high schools,” you honestly explain. “But now that I have seen more than a few videos, I guess I have a few things to say.”

“Good things I hope?”

“I can always tell you.”

“Well, we have time.”

You take a sharp inhale that you wish Soobin doesn’t notice. “Well,” and it’s here that you rely on your practiced bullshitting and production expertise. “First, I noticed that you guys definitely storyboard your videos.” What a damn great start to your answer. Through your research, you noticed that Soobin is not only their CEO but also their head of production, which means it’s his job to storyboard. “There’s a rough plot every time, and with a structured narrative, although of course unscripted, your videos are more engaging than the average internet vlogger’s.”

Intrigued by your comments and compliments, Soobin nods to let you know to continue. “Secondly, Beomgyu’s much more talented than I remember. It’s honestly really nice to see how much he’s improved,” you comment, showing that you’re a team player and that you’re loyal to your friends. “Is he the only editor right now?”

“We have a go-to back-up editor for our longer pieces, but yeah, mostly Gyu and Yeonjun,” Soobin answers, and you can tell he’s impressed that your question furthers your interest in production. “Anything else?”

You smile, ready to continue. “Your videos are, overall, well-researched and informative while still remaining to be interesting and hilarious.” And with your final comment, you are over the moon in your head with Soobin’s wide smile, one that he even tried to suppress.

“Thank you.” You’ve got him. “But one last thing.”

Huh.

“One last question I guess,” Soobin corrects himself, blowing into his coffee mug before taking a sip that takes way too long. “How do you feel about the paranormal?”

Huh.

You’d assumed that, as a potential assistant, this interview would more so entail inquiries on your abilities to send emails (you’d sent him your resume a few hours ago with no issues), to communicate (you’re speaking right now), to follow instructions (relative, but you have an extensive work and volunteer history and have never been fired), and a few other assistant-y tasks. Sure, a little bit of knowledge on the paranormal would most likely be preferred for this particular field, but Soobin didn’t ask about how much you knew about the paranormal.

Soobin asked how you feel about the paranormal, and there is a fundamental difference in that word choice.

Because how you feel isn’t an easy answer.

It’s not that you have a personal history with the paranormal, aside from the aforementioned Ouija incident. Because otherwise, you didn’t have any other opinions. The Budget Ghostbusters videos were entertaining and you’ve seen a handful of horror movies, but it’s just not your personal favourite thing in the world.

But at the same time, you were not about to throw away such an amazing job opportunity just because you didn’t care about ghosts.

Leave it to Choi Soobin to leave you flustered, not only by his insanely good looks but also by his surprising intellect and cleverness. You almost wanna applaud him.

And in the panic of the moment, in the panic of your lack of preparedness, you blurt out, “It scares me?”

That’s a little true.

“Well, I don’t wanna force you into a job that’ll scare you.”

“Well, it’s just that-”

“That what?”

“Well, it’s not that I’m scared.”

Well.

“But you just said you were.”

“Well, you see-”

“I see what?”

If only you’d prepared.

“I can see ghosts.”

But you don’t.

Choi Soobin looks like he wants to call bullshit so bad and you almost want him to so that you can just go home and never speak to one another again. But then, he presses for answers. “Well, Beomgyu never mentioned that.”

“Well,” you start, obviously flustered by your unexpected claim just as much as he. “I don’t actually see ghosts; it’s more that I can… sense them.” Geez, you should’ve just taken it back right away. “It’s why I’m scared actually. I can sense their presence and they can tell that I can sense their presence so I’ve been bothered by them before. No one knows because it’s hard to tell,” you trail off, mentally punching yourself for the idiotic decision you’ve just made.

The earlier dilemma is over. You’re chaotic evil. No way you are otherwise.

Leaning his elbows on the table, Soobin’s look of confusion has transformed into one of intrigue and concern. “Then why did you share this with me?”

You sigh. “I don’t know.” That’s the truth. “When Gyu brought the job offer up, I just couldn’t refuse because, well, it’s a good opportunity.” That’s the truth. “Even if all this ghost stuff hits a little close to home.” Not the truth.

To your half-assed answer, Soobin smiles in belief, eyes forming little half-moons and you begin to feel a little bad for the guy. “You might be able to help people with this.”

Intelligent and charismatic, but nonetheless gullible, huh.

It’s the hope in his eyes that allows you to realize you really shouldn’t have lied.

Because if there’s one thing you’ve learned about Choi Soobin in all your research, it’s that he loves the paranormal because he wants to help guide lost souls home and because he wants to help those burdened by lost souls to be free again. Because he’s a genuine person with a genuine heart.

It’s the one thing about him that doesn’t take you by surprise today.

“If you learn to control whatever abilities you have, and maybe even develop them further, you could be a real asset, not only to our team but to the entire field,” Soobin’s voice shakes at a low whisper, so entranced by the possibilities he dreams up in his mind.

“I guess I can.”

Soobin’s smile grows larger. “Well, all this might be scary at first, but we’ve got you. I promise.”

You look up. “Does that mean I’m hired?”

He nods excitedly. “If you want to be!”

And you do.

For the rest of your interview together, Soobin just has you sign a few official documents, promising to take care of the rest of the financial details over email. And with that, you are officially Soobin’s new assistant. A staff member of the internet’s beloved Budget Ghostbusters.

Because of a lie.

It’s Monday at noon when you arrive at an unnecessarily glamorous house on a hill, boasting an impressive view of the Seoul skyline. It’s certainly not the place you expected to arrive at for your first day of work, but you honestly should have known. This place is the BGB mansion, a place that doubles as their residence and office.

Guess you should get used to all this. You’ll have to eventually.

You press the buzzer on the gate, just in time to help them out for their scheduled afternoon shoot. It’s a blonde boy who comes to let you in, with a jawline and cheekbones so intense you might get cut. It’s Kang Taehyun. “Welcome!”

Exchanging a few pleasantries, he lets you into the house and it is much more gorgeous from the inside. This first floor seemed to have an open concept, with fewer walls and floor-to-ceiling windows allowing the sunlight to stream into the room and allowing you a view into their wide backyard. It’s clean but decorated in a way that still accurately reflects the youth and excitement of the members of the household. Each furniture piece is a pastel shade, and the living room itself has an accent wall in a gorgeous aqua blue.

You can’t say you’re surprised at the look of the place, but it’s not exactly what you expected either. You’re just glad the place looks clean considering only teenage boys live here.

“Have you eaten lunch yet?” Taehyun asks, grabbing himself a can of soda from the kitchen.

“I had a late breakfast, so I’m alright for now,” you reply.

“It’s alright if you’re nervous, but you don’t have to be,” he smiles, drumming his fingers on their marble countertop.

You nod at his attempt to comfort you, grateful for his kindness. “I guess I am a little nervous, but I’m more excited than anything.”

“That’s good to hear,” Taehyun grins, grimacing at the sudden noise erupting from the basement. A noise that honestly sounds like a dying dolphin. “Sorry, I think that’s Kai. We’re filming downstairs if you’re ready to go down?” To that, you nod, allowing him to lead the way to where you meet a room just filled with the most endearing chaos.

Soobin and a boy with a mop of brown hair, who you remember from the videos to be Hueningkai, are in the center of the basement studio, each armed with their own makeshift weapon - Soobin, a tripod, and Kai, a styrofoam Minecraft sword. There’s a boy with unnecessarily bright pink hair and an equally bright sweater slouched in the worn-out navy couch pushed against the wall, who you recognize as Yeonjun, singing some pop song to himself while playing a phone game, seemingly oblivious to the fight. And the final boy in the room was aimlessly running around the basement with something in his hand, seemingly being chased around by the armed fighters.

It’s your old friend, Choi Beomgyu, and though you’ve seen him in your BGB marathon, seeing him in person provides further perspective into the fact that he has grown up well.

Taehyun, who seems unsurprised by the entire ordeal, opens his drink and takes a noticeably large gulp. In your research, you note that Taehyun appears to be the least chaotic of the bunch, so you’re a little glad he’s the one who welcomes you to the fray. Once he takes in his drink, he takes a deep breath before snapping in the air and yelling aloud, “New girl’s here. Give Soob his USB back, Gyu.”

You try your best not to laugh by the entrance of the basement as the boys seem to finally notice your arrival, shyly bowing and waving in your direction. As you take Yeonjun’s offer of a handshake (and his apology for the mess), you make eye contact with Soobin just as he snatches what you now recognize to be a blue USB from Beomgyu, and by the look on his face, he appears embarrassed by the fact that you’ve caught him in a not-so-professional atmosphere.

“Flower Girl!” Beomgyu exclaims once he finally notices you, running up to engulf you in an unexpected but welcome embrace. Pulling away from you, he squishes your cheeks, forcing your lips into a pout, and maneuvering your head around to look at your face from different angles. “You’re way prettier than I remember,” he says, and you have half a mind to not smack him over the head for that one.

“Was I ugly before?” you exclaim in feigned offence, barely realizing it’s the first thing you’ve said to him in over three years.

“Not ugly, but I never had a crush on you for a reason,” Beomgyu shrugs, and you just can’t help but go to hit him over the head for that. In the true nature of your relationship, despite all your years apart, he laughs naturally knowing that violence is your true demonstration of affection.

“Call me ugly again. I dare you!” You can’t even fight the bright smile on your face because it really is nice to see him again, and you share those exact sentiments aloud, almost forgetting the context of your meeting in the first place.

It doesn’t take very long for you to get quickly introduced to the two boys you haven’t met yet either: Yeonjun’s the go-to ghost-hunting expert out of the group, who Soobin warns is obnoxious (yet lovable), while Hueningkai’s the youngest, the silliest, and is essentially the face of the group, hosting and narrating most of their videos.

And just like that, Soobin immediately takes you through your roles and responsibilities for the day. It’s a very nonchalant atmosphere, which is most likely since today’s filming is simply for an interview-style Q&A. You help Beomgyu out through some of the technical things (“Finally, someone else knows how to set up a camera,” Beomgyu comments snidely towards his friends, earning an ear pinch from Taehyun) and you also help Soobin with choosing the most interesting questions to ask and answer for the video. He claims he asks for your advice since you’re an “outside perspective” but a part of you also recognizes that he spent half the conversation coming up with excuses as to why he was chasing your old friend around with a tripod.

There’s a comedic style with the way they’ve chosen to film this particular video, with your voice behind the camera reading out the questions the way a typical Cosmopolitan celebrity interview would be structured. The questions are all fan-submitted tweets ranging from favourite childhood shows to celebrity crushes to fashion advice, and with the way each boy replies to each question in their exaggerated on-camera personas, you’re amused by their familiarity with comedic timing to entertain their particular audience.

And though it’s your first time working with them, it already feels comfortable to have you right there with them.

“Which haunted place was the scariest?” You read out from the list of approved tweets.

Soobin, currently in the hot seat, pretends to think about it for a moment, staring you down behind the camera as he leans back in the chair. “That one hospital in Gyeonggi. Hands down.”

“Gonjiam Psychiatric?” Taehyun supplies, nodding vigorously from the corner where it seems he agrees with the answer and then nodding vigorously towards the camera when Beomgyu pans the secondary camera towards him in a dramatic fashion.

When you turn back to Soobin, he’s nodding vigorously, snapping and pointing furiously towards Taehyun in agreement. “What happened?” You can’t help but ask, as, after all, you haven’t gotten the chance to see that particular video yet.

Yeonjun, who’s sitting next to Taehyun and scrolling through his phone, doesn’t look up when he mumbles and shakes his head, “Fucked up stuff, Flower Girl. Fucked up stuff.”

“Wait, what’s with that nickname anyway?” Kai interrupts from his place on a barstool near the basement kitchen.

“It’s supposed to be my special one for her,” Beomgyu pouts since Taehyun, and surely the others will have picked up on using it too.

You laugh at his unnecessary possessiveness, shrugging when you explain. “I used to wear flowers in my hair in like sixth grade or whatever.”

“Aw, wait, that’s so cute,” Yeonjun looks up from his phone, sitting up from his curl into the sofa. “Is it Beomgyu-exclusive or can we use it too?”

“I’m okay if you call me that too,” you reply easily, knowing that Beomgyu would only be further irritated with having to share you as a friend now.

Speaking of, he only pouts further, huffing in feign arrogance when he says, “You can call her Flower Girl all you want but you’ll never have our history!”

“Aw, welcome to the Budget Ghostbusters, Flower Girl!” Kai exclaims with the goofiest little smile on his face. “We have a pretty Flower Girl now!”

Soobin, who you haven’t realized has been pouting this whole time from his seat under the lights in front of the camera, speaks up. “Well, since I’m your boss, I want to be extra unique.” You all turn to him with questioning looks, and for some reason, your heart beats a little faster when you suddenly make eye contact. “Just Flower.”

“Short and sweet,” Taehyun points out. “Kinda funny since you’re a damn giant Soob,” and with that little tease about his height, Soobin grimaces.

Yeonjun smirks to himself, tossing his phone onto a nearby coffee table, the first time he’s looked up in all the time since you’ve arrived. Of course, aside from when he’d shook your hand and aside from when he was in front of the camera. “‘I want to be extra unique’,” he mocks their leader under his breath, sending everyone, including Soobin himself into a fit of laughter.

“Well, I like it,” you smile to reassure him.

“You only like it because he’s paying you,” Yeonjun comments, earning yet another exasperated look from your poor boss.

But before you get to share your genuine appreciation for the little nickname, Beomgyu rolls his eyes, panning the camera back to Soobin. “Anyways,” he frowns, still clearly upset with having to share your nickname with everyone now. “Why Gonjiam?”

Filming goes on for a little while longer, and it’s actually rather convenient that your first day with them is when they need to film a Q&A since it’s become a great opportunity for you to learn more about your new coworkers without the hassle of a big location-based shoot. When the last of the boys finish their interview, Soobin looks at you with a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Hop on the hot seat, Flower,” Soobin smiles innocently, tapping the back of the chair enticingly.

Your eyes widen. “What?”

“Ooh, yeah,” Beomgyu smirks while encouraging you to get in front of the camera. “If you’re going to be around us, people are gonna want an introduction one day.”

“If you don’t want to be on camera, that’s fine too,” Soobin reassures you when he notices your hesitance to accept the offer.

You shake your head. “Oh, I’m okay with being on camera. I just don’t know if I’m entertaining,” and it’s an honest excuse that unknowingly sends Soobin’s heart soaring.

Taking your hand, and taking you by surprise, Soobin leads you towards the chair with the kindest demeanour. “You’ll be okay,” he smiles. “And if you decide you hate your answers, we can just cut it out.”

As he takes your original spot by the camera to help Beomgyu out with the filming, you clear your throat, smiling awkwardly at the camera as Soobin begins asking you some basic questions. They’re helpful, simple ones that help you become more comfortable in front of the camera and ones that could help fans get to know you.

“I’m not a budget ghostbuster by any means, but now you guys will have multiple camera angles and better management,” you explain when asked about your role in the company. “Hopefully,” you add. “If I do my job well.”

Soobin looks up from monitoring the filming and smiles. “Well, are you comfortable about talking about your ability?”

At that, Beomgyu pans his camera over to Soobin to capture the conversation. “It’s okay, Flower Girl. Soobin told us after he got home from your interview,” Yeonjun explains, looking up from his phone for once, though it doesn’t reassure you at all.

“I would’ve never known,” Beomgyu frowns. “I’m sorry you’ve felt like you needed to keep something so scary to yourself.”

“Sorry if you weren’t comfortable with that,” Soobin apologizes. “I just figured it’d be something to share since it’s a lot of why I hired you.”

And your heart stops.

Because you really have fucked up now. You’ll either have to deliver as a liar or somehow develop ghost-communicating abilities within the next few days because you don’t want to mess up and break the hearts of these boys. They’re good people, and one of them was a close friend of yours back when neither of you knew yet who you would become.

“What part do you want me to talk about?” you stutter out, too nervous to say anything more.

Looking down to the ground, Soobin looks as if he’s thinking deeply about what question he wants to ask you. Then, he makes eye contact, taking a deep breath as you continue to unconsciously hold yours. “How’d you find out?”

And well, you don’t have an answer, but you figure that the least you can do is pull from a real childhood experience with the paranormal to formulate a realistic lie. “I’m the youngest out of all my cousins so I was maybe four years old when they dragged me into using a Ouija board during a sleepover.” You take the silence and Soobin’s heartwarming nod as a sign to continue, but you already feel much more uncomfortable, if not a little faint. “Long story short, it worked and the ghost talked to me and all my cousins thought that I was just being a weird little kid. We said goodbye at the end of the session,” and that’s where the truth ends, but you continue anyways. “But then, it never stopped. I could always hear or feel all these weird things and never realized until I was around twelve what the, um, feelings were.”

“What kinds of things do they say?” Soobin can’t help but ask.

You gulp. It feels hot in here and you need a drink of water. “Um, just the normal horror movie type stuff. For help in finishing unfinished business or in communicating with their loved ones.”

“Are you okay?” It’s a question that you don’t expect but accept anyway.

You shake your head, blinking at the floor to prevent your internal panic from further rising. “Yeah, I just- These lights are super bright.”

“Oh, I guess you’re not used to them yet,” Soobin realizes, taking your hand again and helping you off the chair even though you didn’t need his help to stand. “I’m pretty sure we’ve recorded everything we need anyway.”

“You did great, Flower!” Kai applauds you excitedly.

“Hey, Flower’s my nickname for her,” Soobin jokingly scolds the younger member, tightening his grip around your hand that he still hasn’t let go of.

It’s a good first day, you realize. These boys were immediately welcoming to you and were receptive to your ideas and jokes. If these are the people you would get to work with for the next little while, then you were incredibly grateful.

If only you found a way to come back from the lie you’ve thrown in their face.

“A flower shop? Is this about my nickname?”

You don’t miss the way Soobin rolls his eyes jokingly. “Not everything’s about you, Flower,” he teases, pulling the door into the shop open and allowing you to enter first.

It’s been almost three weeks now since you were first hired, and well, working with these boys has unexpectedly been the most fun you’ve had in a long time. You’ll have to admit, but they’ve become a bit of a miracle to your summer, especially since the original plan was just to hopefully get a job, and if you didn’t, then you’d spend the summer procrastinating preparations you needed for university. These boys were an adventure in and of themselves, and you hadn’t even joined them on an out-of-city trip yet.

Firstly, having Beomgyu in your life again was wonderful and you didn’t realize that you’d filled some sort of void in one another’s lives until your reunion. You missed being able to play around with video production and he missed having a film nerd to gush over obscure production gimmicks with. And there’s the other boys, who have become some sort of a new family to you, initially welcoming you with open arms and now treating you as if you’ve always been a part of the company. In particular, Kai started calling you his ‘work mom’, which would’ve been a cute nickname had his previous work mom not been Soobin himself, who now swears to gain Kai’s favour back in the future.

Because as fun as they seemed online, they’re even more so in person; excitable and fanatic most days, but also with the maturity to choose to be responsible and focused when the situation requires it.

But what would they say if they knew you had lied?

To be fair, you haven’t had a lot of opportunities to show off your claimed ability quite yet aside from scouting around a few minor haunted places with Soobin, but you were beginning to get comfortable with your job and your new relationships. How would they react if they knew?

And today, Choi Soobin takes you to a flower shop.

It’s a small little place in the outdoor marketplace of a fairly suburban location. The floors are tiled with marble slabs and the walls are made to appear like pastel yellow bricks, flowers are hanging on planters and more are in pots on the ground, and the counter towards the back is equally as bright and inviting, especially with the large windows that allow the noon sunlight to light the room. And when the sun is gone, beautiful fairy lights are strung across the ceiling to help create the fairy-like atmosphere. There are flowers of just about every kind, including chrysanthemums, orchids, roses, just about every kind of lily, daffodils, and more.

And of course, you are particularly enamoured by the plants, almost reverting to your childhood state of mind when you were obsessed with flowers and what they represent.

“Look, cornflowers!” You point towards a pot right by the front door. “Was this what your hair color was before it faded?”

Feigning a lack of amusement from your tease, Soobin scoffs. “I get it. I need to get my hair recolored; I just haven’t had time.”

“Is running the company taking up that much time?”

He shrugs at that. “I guess so. Haven’t had a lot of time to myself recently with work, but I enjoy it and do it with the people I care about most, so,” he pauses. “It’s fine.”

And his comment, however nonchalant and short, allows you to understand Soobin in a much deeper and genuine way. For him to be this young and already the CEO of an incredibly successful media company must be so much pressure. You could only hope that with you by his side, you were able to alleviate his worries, and so, you ask just that.

“Have I helped at all? With the workload?”

Turning to face you, looking down considering the considerable height difference, Soobin smiles, faded blue bangs hanging in his eyes though you don’t need to see them directly to know they’ve formed those little half-moons again. “Of course you have. You’ve done more in two weeks than I would have to be honest.”

Well, if it’s for Soobin, you’re glad you can do this.

His eyes are pretty, you notice, holding your eye contact or much longer than necessary. It’s not uncomfortable either, as you two continue smiling at one another in mutual respect and gratefulness for one another’s company and work.

“What about this? When I do get my hair re-dyed, you can come with me,” Soobin offers, eyes glued to yours in the sun rays.

“Sounds like a plan.” Returning to the subject at hand, you clear your throat and look away, mostly in fear that you might not be able to look away had you continued staring into his eyes. “So, this place is supposed to be haunted?” You ask Soobin, looking around the place and only admiring how beautiful it is.

“You tell me,” he smirks, crossing his arms. Your heart starts beating fast as if he’s got you but he laughs at your worried reaction. “This place is allegedly haunted. I’ve heard some rumours online but apparently, it’s recently gotten worse.”

Crouching down to smell the yellow acacias, you nod in understanding. “Does the owner know we’re here or are we pretending to be customers?”

“What do you think we do?” Soobin laughs at your suggestion lightheartedly. “We’re not spies, silly. I think Jimin’s just in the back right now.”

“Do you think this could be a new ‘overnight’ video?” You ask in reference to one of their video series.

When you turn to look at Soobin, he’s smiling directly at you with the softest, kindest look in his eyes. “Yeah.” He doesn’t say anything else even if you can tell he has much more than a single affirmative word in his mind, but you decide not to press further.

There’s a shuffle from behind the counter, and out from the backroom comes who you assume to be the shop owner. He’s a fairly good-looking young man, dressed in the shop uniform of an apron with the logo printed across the front. He’s not exactly what you expect from the traditional image of a florist, but it’s nice to see the stereotype defied.

“Hey there! Jimin right?” Soobin waves, walking right up to the counter and gesturing for you to follow behind.

The men shake hands in greeting. “That’s me! Is this the girl you were talking about?” The kind florist looks to you, offering his hand to shake yours as you hesitantly take it in your confusion over his question. Soobin chuckles nervously beside you, clearing his throat before introducing you.

“So, how do these things usually start?” Jimin asks.

“Well, we usually do a quick tour of the space first if that sounds good?” Soobin answers, getting a notepad and a pen out of what you now recognize to be his signature bookbag. “Any thoughts on the process, Flower?”

Though you weren’t expecting to be put on the spot, you’re excited for your first time on the ‘field’ and can’t help but give your own opinion. “Actually, I’m particularly curious about the history of the place.”

“Sense something?” Soobin elbows you with hopes that your abilities are kicking in.

“Not sure,” you answer by default, afraid of saying the wrong thing. “But if there’s something here, I don’t think it’s evil.” And you hope that your bullshit comment is enough to get Soobin off of your false ability for now.

“Well, you’re definitely right about her being some sort of psychic,” Jimin smirks impressively towards your taller half.

And it seems both you and Soobin are confused by his statement. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Jimin smiles, moving to take his watering can and fill it in the sink behind the counter. “This entire market area was built some fifty years ago but this specific building was a local ice cream shop. The old owner was this nice old man who had a wife, no kids, but it didn’t matter since all the kids that bought for him saw him as a grandfather. One day, they found his body dead in the walk-in freezer,” and, no pun intended and all, but your blood ran cold.

Soobin, now used to the tragic backstories of haunted places such as these, simply nods quietly and marks it down to do more research on it later. “Did they ever learn what happened to him?”

The florist shakes his head. “Looked it up last night since I thought it’d be something you’d want to know but they ruled it an accident since the door was locked airtight.”

“How did you come into ownership?” You ask, figuring that a change of subject might lighten up the mood.

And Jimin smiles brightly, grateful for your question. “My mom bought the place when we moved here. I was maybe five at the time but now that I’m old enough, it’s mine.” He seems proud, and with the flowers in his shop and the success of his business, you can tell he deserves to be.

At that, Soobin pulls out his phone, mumbling a few search terms he was bound to fall into a rabbit hole on. “It’s a part of his process,” you explain to Jimin, who takes his filled watering can around the counter and begins watering a few of the hanging plants by the wall. “Your flowers are beautiful.”

“Is that a way to fill up the silence or do you mean it?” He teases with a smirk you can hear in the lull of his voice. This Jimin guy sure is a flirt.

“I mean it,” you answer truthfully. “I had a massive phase with flowers back in middle school. I used to memorize all the different types, how to care for them, their meanings,” you explain further once you notice his interest seems to have been piqued.

“Are you considering a second job?” Jimin jokes, but honestly, had you never received the call from Beomgyu, working as an assistant in a flower shop isn’t such a bad option.

“She’s already mine,” Soobin’s cold tone punctures the air, and the both of you turn to see him placing his phone back in the pocket of his jeans. “And she’s a damn good assistant,” he smiles, bringing the more comfortable atmosphere back. Soobin compliments you way too much, in your opinion, but it feels particularly meaningful in this moment.

Jimin shrugs with a knowing look, continuing to water the other plants along the wall. “Well, if you change your mind, you now know where to find me.”

You clear your throat, a little lost in the tension of whatever just happened. “Thanks for the offer but I’m happy where I am,” you respond, earning a shy smile (and what you think might be reddening cheeks) from Soobin who inches closer to you.

“So Jimin, about those ghosts…” Soobin starts on the formal interview, effectively changing the subject.

And with that, Jimin decides to take you through a little tour around the shop, which is essentially just the single room of flowers, plants, and the counter, and the backroom which consists of a small washroom and an organized mess of a personal office. His ghost stories are nothing particularly unique, but he does have recordings of his former employees providing witness testimonies to a flying pot or flickering lights.

Jimin even provides an additional recording of apparent voices heard in the office, which is where the old walk-in freezer would’ve been. And while the room is no longer the freezer it once was, a chill runs down your spine in a unique sharpness of low temperature.

If the story isn’t fake, it could potentially be credible enough to be spun into another viral video.

If you’re honest though, the entire conversation had you zoning out, and you spent most of this time nodding, smiling, and observing the flowers. Besides, Soobin had already explained to you that he could always do these initial interviews alone. He claimed that you were invited today to have the experience, but a part of you knew he just didn’t want to be alone, and well, who were you to say no to the extra hours and extra pay?

You don’t notice, but Soobin could barely concentrate on his conversation with Jimin either. He just couldn’t help but be enamoured by the look on your face when you saw the acacias.

“How do you feel, Flower?”

Now look, you don’t want to lie any more than you already have, but getting to be around these flowers again is pretty euphoric and besides, Soobin’s been complaining about needing a new hit video again. If you just… bullshit a little more about false vibes that you’re getting from the place then this whole thing can be a win-win situation.

“Well, if I’m not wrong, especially hearing the story about the ice cream man,” you start with a hint of hesitance. Soobin smiles at you, and it encourages you to keep going. “Then he’s probably some sort of lost spirit, haunting out of sorrow and desperation rather than of malice. At least, that’s what I’m sensing.”

To that, Jimin sighs, leaning his elbows against the counter. “Does that mean you’re all gonna come and stay overnight?”

Soobin chuckles, amused at the florist, who’s revealed himself to be a fan. “If you’ll let us.”

And with promotion for his flower shop guaranteed, Jimin agrees without much argument, promising the shop keys to Soobin for an agreed upon Saturday in a few weeks, which will allow for more time as the shop opens much later on Sunday morning.

You both part from the flower shop amicably soon after, and you barely even realize that Soobin made a purchase while you were dazed. He hands you a single branch of yellow acacias, tied together with a sky blue ribbon, unceremoniously, looking away and trying to act as nonchalant as possible. “What’s this for?” You look up at him, unable to prevent the grateful smile from creeping onto your face.

“I just noticed that you kept going back to them. Thought you deserved a little present for all the good work you’ve done so far,” he replies, mumbling through the words as if embarrassed by his own sincerity. After all, today’s Choi Soobin only confuses you further. He had been possessive earlier, and now he’s handing you flowers like it’s nothing.

Suddenly, you wish that flowers lasted forever after they’ve been plucked.

You’ll keep this one alive as long as you can, that’s for sure.

You don’t even know why you’re here, but somehow, Soobin has dragged you over to what is probably the sketchiest pawn shop in the basement of a department store in the heart of the downtown. He claims it’s because he wants your opinion in purchasing an allegedly haunted item that Taehyun’s had his eye on for weeks, but a part of you is starting to think he’s just dragging you around because he can.

Not like you mind, anyways. Every time that you’re out with Choi Soobin ends up being a good one.

Today is going to be particularly chaotic for you, especially in terms of keeping up your lie. You don’t know what kind of haunted piece he’s willing to purchase and keep in his house, but whatever it is, you have to confirm whether or not it’s actually haunted or if the shop owner is just a scam artist.

It’s a fairly dark shop that needs to invest in some brighter lights, especially with the dark walls and wooden floors, but to be fair, that’s the appeal of these kinds of places, isn’t it? It looks like somewhere that Soobin’s bookbag could be found in a corner on sale, but as dorky as the daily item is, it’s become an endearing piece of his whole look.

There’s barely any space to walk, with most of the floor space covered with shelves and tables and antique furniture that are still in decent condition. If it has a surface on it, it’s got products on display, with the shelves filled with trinkets and comic book collections and books ranging from hundred-year-old classics to ten-year-old ones. There’s a few racks of clothes and faux fur coats and there’s boxes of beautiful cutlery on sale but there are also jewelry boxes and gorgeous teapots and handmade quilts.

Pity you’re only here for some possessed thing.

“It’s a little dusty in here, huh,” Soobin mutters in your ear, leaning down from his height so you can hear him but also to avoid the low door frame just by the staircase that got you down there in the first place.

His breath tickles your neck and you can’t help but giggle at his comment. “A little?”

“Welcome!” The man behind the counter greets, looking up from a book you can’t recognize to welcome you. He seems upwards of thirty years old, but with an excited, almost youthful energy that you have to admit juxtaposes the atmosphere of his shop. “Anything you’re on the lookout for today?”

“I’m actually here on behalf of Kang Taehyun today,” Soobin answers, a smile at his lips as he approaches the counter.

The man nods enthusiastically, reaching out a hand as he introduces himself. “Jung Hoseok.”

“Choi Soobin, and this is my partner,” Soobin replies, allowing you to exchange your own introductions with the kind shop owner. After Hoseok excuses himself to the back to grab the merchandise, you take your time to window shop through the items on the nearby shelf. “Like anything you see?”

You turn back to him, pausing your perusal through a bucket of enamel pins. “Not yet, but I might as well look around.”

Soobin chuckles, walking up to you and pressing his front against your back in the closeness of the space. His warmth gives you the shivers. He runs his hand through the pins as well, eventually picking up one of a flower that you recognize to be a single freesia. Turning around, you face him, having to look up to account for his height and he looks right down at you. “I like this one,” he whispers.

“Then buy it,” you reply, turning right back around to keep looking for a pin that you like.

“Get a flower one too so that we can match,” Soobin suggests, walking away and back to the main counter to lean against it.

Going through the bucket, you spot one that you find cute, and immediately you hold it up to show Soobin your choice. “Look! It’s a scared ghost,” you smile and Soobin immediately feels gravitated towards your choice as well.

The moment unfortunately gets cut short with Hoseok coming back with a large rectangular package in his hand. Placing it on the counter, he dons synthetic gloves to handle the item and your interest is further piqued. What on earth could this piece be?

Soobin and you stand side by side across from Hoseok as he tugs a rectangular board out of the box, a triangular pointer sliding on the board right after, and you recognize it immediately. “An old spirit board. Not a Ouija; those ones are just the copyrighted franchised ones,” Hoseok explains, introducing the board to you. “It was sold to me by some Greek lady during her vacation a few years ago, and it looks to be at least a hundred years old, so if you’re looking for as authentic a board as possible, this is as close as you can get locally .”

“It’s gorgeous,” Soobin can’t help but mutter, his hand moving to dance across the intricate engravings across the top of the box and barely resisting his urge to touch the board itself.

“It is,” Hoseok agrees, allowing you two to take in the item.

You move your face closer to the board, examining how authentic this piece could truly be. It’s got the typical arrangement of any other spirit board - English letters in two rows with the numbers underneath in a third, a YES and a NO in each of the top concerns, and a small GOODBYE in the bottom centre. It’s not what you expected when Soobin first called you out here, but you are certainly drawn by the prospect, even without your claimed psychic powers.

“How do you feel, Flower?” Soobin turns to you, noting your increased interest.

Gulping down your nervousness, you share your initial thoughts. “It certainly is beautiful. I’ve never seen a real one in person,” you admit.

“These are hard to come by,” Hoseok agrees, leaning against his elbows on the counter. “And I know Taehyun hesitates to make the purchase because of the price, but I feel like it’d be worth it if it’s part of your career.” You can tell he’s just being a good businessman here, hoping you finally buy the damn thing after weeks of stalling, but he does make good points.

“Do you think it’ll be worth it?” Soobin asks you.

“Well, I definitely feel something from it,” you answer in a partial truth. “If nothing comes out of it, it’ll make a decent video either way.”

“And a damn good addition to any sort of paranormal collection if you have one of those,” Hoseok adds to your reasoning.

Turning to your boss, you ask something that’s been on your mind since seeing the board presented in front of you both. “Have you guys never done a spirit board session on the channel?”

“We have,” Soobin affirms. “But with the Hasbro game just for kicks.”

And though you know he trusts you with this choice, you really do agree that purchasing this, whether or not it works or is authentic, it’ll make a good video or two, if not more. And of course, a pretty addition to a collection of paranormal memorabilia. “I say we buy it.”

With your approval and a sighing Soobin pulling his wallet out, the purchase is made, and you and Soobin are about to leave when Soobin suddenly stops you right at the bottom of the stairs. “I forgot to get one last thing. Wait here.” And so you do, trusting that whatever else Soobin was gonna spend his money on (despite his previous obvious issues with the spirit board’s price) was something worth it.

And though you expected something to match his bookbag or another haunted little piece, Soobin instead comes back with two enamel pins - a single freesia and a scared ghost. You try to complain, saying you’ll pay him back for this one and that you didn’t even really need the pin, but he strongly insists that he wants to keep them as matching little things; a symbol of your bond and friendship.

After settling your mini argument over the pins, you two finally enter the real world once again, the sun shining brightly in the sky with traffic still crazy in the late afternoon. It’s as if travelling down those stairs into Hoseok’s shop teleported you into a world of darkness and mystery and spirits, and you weren’t even sure if Hoseok believed in such things.

“Man, the videos from this thing better go viral,” Soobin frowns with his thoughts still stuck on the price, walking alongside you down the sidewalk with the spirit board in its box in a bag swinging by his side.

“You’re always first on trending with every video, so I really don’t think you have to be worried,” you reply, being honest with your observations on their success. You certainly were hired by the best that YouTube had to offer.

Soobin rolls his eyes at that, but you can tell his cheeks redden with your compliment. “Did you sense anything else down there?” He asks, and you shake your head in hesitance. “I know you’d know better than me, but I doubt this was the only haunted thing in there.”

To that, you confidently agree. “That entire store had insane vibes. And you said that Taehyun visits there often?”

“Right?” Soobin agrees, pointing his head at the direction of where he was walking you towards - the very cafe where you’d met the first time. As you hold the door open for him to enter in first, he continues his response. “I would’ve thought Kai would be the weird one in the group hanging around shops like that, you know? Turns out it was Tae.”

Laughing, you follow suit into the coffee shop, allowing the cold air of the indoor air conditioners to dance across your skin after spending minutes walking out in the sun. And thus concludes another day of running around with Choi Soobin, meeting odd people and pretending to be a ghost whisperer. If only you’d owned up to your initial fumble, you wouldn’t be in this mess. Going on coffee dates with your boss who’d only hired you because of a lie.

You were fucked.

The car slows to a stop right in front of the cemetery gates, a good two hours away from the heart of the city and a good ten minutes away from the dumbest thing you will have ever done in your life. You’re sitting in the backseat of Beomgyu’s van right now with him at the wheel, and the younger ones filming your mini road trip, ready for the experimental little vlog you’ve been dragged into.

It’s around six in the evening. Late enough for there to be stronger spiritual activity without bringing out the true horrors of the cemetery at night, but it’s also early enough for the sun to still be peeking through the trees right by the horizon. The skies are colorful, but the area is gray. Just a little too dangerous and a little too perfect for the very, very dumb thing you’ve all decided to do tonight.

Soobin was unable to come because he needed to attend a family dinner and Yeonjun hates any paranormal investigations that have nothing to do with his ‘scientific’ technologies, so here you are as an extra personality, having convinced the boys that you’re a ghost whisperer. And well, the plan with tonight’s video was just to introduce the spirit board as a new element in their investigations, introducing the fans to its history and checking to see if it even works.

You’re not sure if you even believe in spirits, because aside from the one single Ouija incident, which you’re positive was just one of your older cousins pranking one another (and you, as a result), you’ve never been this close and involved with anything paranormal. And now, you were here to be their spirit guide and medium.

Fingers crossed you don’t do something stupid.

As an open cemetery, there aren’t really any limits to visiting hours here, though Kai shares you’ll have to be careful regardless. You don’t even honestly feel anything; no spirits to feel out and no energies or evilness in the air that you can pick out other than the regular eerie quality that cemeteries just have. Truthfully, you just wish Soobin could be here so that you wouldn’t have to feel so worried and out of place.

Once you’ve parked by the edge of the surrounding forest, you all climb out of the van, the spirit board box in Taehyun’s hands. “If this works, we’re gonna be so fucked,” Kai comments towards you and the filming camera in your hands, and though it’s an ominous phrase, he’s giggling giddily anyways.

“We just have to remember to say goodbye,” Taehyun replies nonchalantly, leading the way through the lines of gravestones.

“Have you been here before? You look way too familiar with this place,” you can’t help but ask, noting Taehyun’s confidence in his pace. Beside you, Beomgyu laughs to himself, the rest of his filming equipment in a large duffle bag by his side.

Ahead of you, Taehyun shrugs as he stops in front of a small wooden structure; a pavilion of sorts in the centre of the plot. “We’ve done a handful of videos here before.”

Kai laughs at his reply. “He makes it sound casual, but he does come here more often than the rest of us do.”

You pause, eyebrows furrowed in a combination of intrigue and confusion. “Why?”

“Vibes,” Taehyun replies, casually clearing the centre of the pavilion and setting the spirit board’s container down in the middle of the area. You honestly shouldn’t even be surprised with Taehyun’s insane interest in the paranormal; he has a history with loving magic tricks (many that have tricked you) and so naturally, the occult world would be of interest.

Rolling your eyes at his effort to appear as aloof as his on-screen image for the cameras, you continue pointing your camera at Taehyun as he starts getting into a spiel about the history of the spirit board and his weeks of vetting the eccentric pawn shop owner who came into ownership of it. “I’m not gonna lie, I wanted to be there when this baby was purchased, but Soobin and Flower Girl beat me to it.”

Of course he calls the spirit board ‘baby’.

“To be fair, she’s the only one who can sense if it was even a good spirit board,” Beomgyu responds, now focusing on setting up cameras on multiple tripods from several angles. “And Soobin doesn’t like sharing her even though I was your bestie first.”

To that, you can’t help but blush, especially when Kai starts doing an exaggerated “ooh” sound effect like the ones they play in the back of a 2000s sitcom whenever something scandalous happens. Trying to ease the little tease off your mind, you turn to Beomgyu and try your best to reassure him. “First of all, we weren’t besties, but I’ll give it to you. I knew you longer therefore I theoretically should treasure you more.”

Comedic bits aside, the four of you continue setting up the area for the mini session you were about to conduct. “Cameras are good now; two to capture our reactions, one overhead to get the board, and a fourth all the way over there,” Beomgyu points towards every camera he’s set up, letting you know too for future investigations. “The far one’s just in case something happens around us.”

“Well that’s ominous, but I guess we’re ready,” Kai smirks, sitting down across from you and allowing Taehyun to take the lead with the session.

“What about the one I’m holding?” You ask, handing it off to him.

“Spirits and demons can mess up our recordings sometimes, so I always like to keep an extra camera turned off just in case,” Beomgyu explains, kissing the camera on it’s buttons before turning it off and putting it away. It’s something that could be seen as odd and obsessive to anyone else, but you remember it as a habit of his back before when he’d first gotten into filmography.

And when all you have sat down around the board, you nod towards Taehyun to let him begin. “Housekeeping rules. Since you’re our resident ghost girl, you’ll be our medium which means we can all talk and suggest questions but only you will directly communicate to whatever we contact.” Pressure much. “If the planchette does figure eights, hits all four corners, or tries to go through all the numbers and all the letters, the spirit is evil and we need to either turn the planchette upside down or say goodbye real fucking quick,” Taehyun essentially raps through the rules that he remembers, continuing to go on and on about a few other things you’ll all need to keep in mind.

“Should we really be doing this at a cemetery?” You ask, already frightened by the images that the recesses of your imagination is presenting to you.

“Oh, definitely not,” Taehyun doesn’t hesitate to reply. “But other YouTubers get desperate for views by breaking the law, and we get desperate by risking our lives.”

To that, Kai nods in aggressive agreement. “At least we’re good people,” he snidely comments.

“I’ll edit this bit out,” and thankfully, Beomgyu’s little joke sends you all into laughter, helping ease the air of nervousness and tension that’s mutual in the circle.

“Last thing; we need to say goodbye,” Taehyun shares, smiling when he receives verbal confirmation from everyone. Placing the planchette down onto the board for the first time, everyone reaches their fingers onto it, officially starting your communication with the other world. “Whenever you’re ready, Flower Girl.”

You don’t know if you’ll ever be, but you take a deep breath, and begin anyway. “Hello there. We’re a group of friends hoping to speak to someone tonight,” you start trying to sound as friendly as possible. “Is there anyone here with us?”

Silence.

For a moment. A moment that feels like a million years despite probably being only a second or two in the real world.

Wow, you really wish Soobin was here.

And then, the planchette moves. It moves slowly, but it most definitely makes its way to YES. A chill runs down your spine and you are suddenly reminded of the office in the back of the flower shop.

“Who are you?” It’s the most logical follow-up question, and you just hoped you aren’t in contact with the wrong spirit, but when the planchette doesn’t move with only the wind blowing stronger for those few seconds of silence, you switch gears. “Um, are you alone with us?”

The planchette doesn’t hesitate this time, rushing over to NO and chills run down your spine. Sweat begins to form at your brows and at the back of your neck at this point, and you regret not downing a water bottle before the beginning of the session to ease the dehydration now plaguing your tongue. “Are you the only one speaking to us?” The planchette continues moving quick, though not too fast that you four are scrambling with panic, at least not yet.

“R-N-O-W. ‘For now?’ Well that’s fucking ominous,” Beomgyu reads the letters aloud, commenting on the absurdity of the situation.

“Try asking who they are again,” Taehyun prompts, and you do just as he asks. And this time, the planchette moves significantly slower over the letters, landing on the letter K and stopping there.

“Is it alright if we call you K then?” When the planchette doesn’t move at your question, you assume that the spirit isn’t so opinionated on this to move and answer NO. “Um, what else do I ask?”

From across the board, Kai clears his throat, and when Kai’s being serious, you just know that whatever’s happening right now is very, dangerously real. Not that you’re beginning to believe in ghosts or anything, but these three boys seem as terrified as you at the surprising amount of activity and responses coming from this seance. “Try asking when they died,” Kai suggests to you.

“Right,” you agree, licking your lips in your nervousness and now beginning to feel faint. “How long have you been gone?” At that, the planchette seems to hesitate, stuttering across the board instead of sliding smoothly like before, but with your breaths held in the pavilion, it eventually lands on the numbers 5 and 2.

“Fifty-two years,” Beomgyu mutters. “None of us have even been alive that long.”

To that, Taehyun rolls his eyes, deadpanning, “Yes Gyu, that’s how death works.”

Ignoring their petty argument, you feel most absorbed and enraptured by the strong communication between yourself and the spirit. You figure that sensing spirits isn’t actually a lie anymore. “That’s about as far back as when the ice cream man died from that flower shop we’re filming at next week.”

“It’s possible he was buried here if he died in the city,” Beomgyu can’t help but comment aloud again.

“It is way more cold than normal unless it’s just me,” Kai supplies and you’re glad ti isn’t just you. “Ask him if he’s the ice cream guy, Flower.”

“I don’t know if that’s a safe question to ask right now. We still don’t know if we’re talking to a good spirit,” Taehyun warns, reminding you three that you could switch communications with a new spirit at any point and not realize.

“We’re so sorry, K,” you start, hoping to appeal to the spirit with empathy. “Um, what’s it like? Being a spirit, I mean. Is it scary?” It’s a question you can’t help but ask, earning a surprised look from the other boys since they didn’t expect you to ask it. And ever so slowly, the planchette begins to dance over the letters. And as you wait for the spirit to continue communicating their response, the summer wind begins to pick up continuing to lower the temperature in the cemetery, heavily rustling the surrounding trees as well.

“-O-N-E. ‘Not alone’? That doesn’t answer the damn question,” Kai grumbles, only allowing the implications of the spirit’s response to settle after his complaint.

“It’s pretty obvious we’re not alone but-” The planchette starts frantically moving over the letters this time, interrupting whatever Taehyun was initially going to say. “‘Sorry’?”

“K, why are you apologizing?” You hurriedly ask, moving from crossed legs to kneeling down to stand your ground against all the increased phenomena around you. It’s now that the planchette begins speeding around the board in a randomized fashion, and all of you trace its movement around to make sure that the pattern isn’t alluding to the presence of an escaping spirit or a demon. “K? Are you still with us?”

“We need to say goodbye,” Taehyun warns, just as the wind grows so strong that sticks and branches begin crackling from the direction of the forest.

“K? Talk to us!” You yell, ignoring Taehyun’s warning. The increased activity has not only affected the environment and the boys’ fears, but it’s also affected you, sending you onto the line between panic with the events reminding you of your trauma and your interest, your empathy for this spirit and whatever circumstance may have taken his life.

“Flower Girl, say goodbye,” Beomgyu demands in fear of what else might start happening, nudging you with his elbow.

“’Goodbye K!’ Say it!” Kai yells when one of the streetlamps shatters and the far-away tripod falls over, and you can hear the clear shatter of the camera against the edge of a nearby headstone.

“Goodbye,” you mutter. “We’re sorry.” And though the planchette itself doesn’t move towards the GOODBYE label, still tracing randomized patterns around the board, all four of you take control and nudge it towards the now-faded letters, struggling against whatever spirits or demons are keeping the planchette from moving towards it. “Goodbye.”

The wind drops.

Almost immediately in a way so ominous and horrifying.

The cemetery is so abruptly filled with a silence you can’t understand. Perhaps ghosts are real.

“That shit was crazy,” Kai asks after the silence persists a little too strongly for any of your likings.

When Beomgyu looks up to face you, sighing amusedly with adrenaline, his eyes suddenly widen in worry and concern. “Woah, Flower Girl, are you okay?”

Hearing their voices, you gasp, letting go of a breath that you didn’t even realize you were holding. Suddenly gathering your bearings, you reach a hand up to touch your cheeks, because you didn’t realize until now that you were crying, tears still slipping out of your eyes uncontrollably. But whether or not these tears come from fear or sadness or joy, you don’t yet understand. “I don’t know,” you admit, wiping your cheeks on the cuffs of your sleeves. “Are you guys… okay?”

“Well, the board definitely works,” Taehyun snorts, catching his breath and eyeing the planchette in his hands closely. “If the spirits didn’t mess with the recordings, then this was a good investment.”

“At least we can rub that into Soobin’s face,” Kai shrugs, satisfied with their findings tonight although clearly coming back from his own internal panic.

And at that moment, you hear a shriek from your left. From Beomgyu, who hurriedly scuffles up and runs over to the camera he’d set up outside of the pavilion. “Damn demons broke my Leica!”

“Dude, it’s just a camera,” Kai laughs, getting up and dusting his pants off.

“Actually that one’s upwards of five million won,” you reply, finally beginning to catch up to your breath with Taehyun awkwardly and affectionately patting at your forearm.

As Beomgyu stomps back over to the group, you hear the most unnecessarily dramatic gasp coming from the youngest boy. “Why would you pay five million won for a camera?”

“This is nine million, actually,” Beomgyu frowns, almost spilling his own tears from the equipment damage instead of from the traumatic experience you’d just had together.

And as you four clean up the area, collecting your items, and calling out your goodbyes to the spirits who are most definitely still watching over you, your phone buzzes in your pants pocket. Fishing it out, you fall behind the other three as you make your way back towards the parking lot. Noting Soobin’s name across the screen of your phone, you greet him as calmly as you can, though your heart is still out of place. “Hello?”

“Flower, hey,” Soobin greets you, and immediately, with his voice intimately whispering into your ear though over the phone, your heart feels much calmer and the world feels so much safer. “How’d the seance go?”

You notice that he sounds hesitant, but honestly, you are too. Because all that your head is thinking about is that you owe Soobin an apology, and more than that, you owe him the truth. Taking a deep breath, you answer. “Can you meet me in a bit? At the cafe.”

And thankfully, Soobin doesn’t question it, probably sensing the seriousness in your tone. “I’m still at my parents’ but I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

And whenever ‘soon’ decides to be, it will become the moment of truth.

The moment of truth is damn near nine in the evening, so it’s convenient that the cafe is one that closes closer to midnight. It’s the one where Soobin and you had met for the first time for your impromptu job interview, and you figure it’s the best place for you to settle the inner turmoil you’ve had for well over a month now. You’ve allowed this lie to grow and accumulate over too much time, and now, you’ve lost your authenticity as a friend and you will certainly lose their trust in you too.

You’re not ready, if you’re being honest with yourself. But you have to say it anyway.

You’d asked Beomgyu to drop you off at the cafe when he was driving you all home, but before taking you there, he decided to drop Kai and Taehyun off back at their place first. When you asked why, he ended up spending the drive to the cafe alone with you making sure you were alright and interrogating you about your bond with Soobin. And when you asked why he didn’t want to have this conversation with the other boys around, he shrugs and admits he’d be embarrassed if they knew he was going to comfort you after your panic. “Empathy’s gross,” he jokes with a caring look in his eyes.

Even after all these years, you still had a mutual respect and understanding with one another. And if anything, even if you were about to break these boys’ hearts with the truth, you at least had this single month of playing with cameras with an old friend.

Soobin walks in appearing a little rushed, his old blue hair now grey and messily dishevelled in the evening wind (much less menacing in the city), with his trademark leather bookbag by his side as if he’d just come off work instead of coming back from a family dinner. And despite his hurried manner and his lack of knowledge concerning what you were about to share with him, he was still Choi Soobin, with dimples on his face and stars in his eyes when he spots you in the corner.

And though your heart aches when you see his smile, a part of you finally feels comforted and safe after your panic at the cemetery. That’s the magic of Choi Soobin, you suppose.

Taking the seat in front of you, he immediately smiles when he sees that you’re halfway through a raspberry lemonade and have also already ordered a coffee for him in the way he likes it. Because, after all, it’s something that you’ve learned now. “Evening, Flower.”

“Hey,” you greet him, forcing a smile that you can tell he realizes is fake.

“I didn’t make you wait too long, did I?” Soobin looks up with a worry in his eyes.

“No, it’s fine. You’re fine,” you smile in reassurance. “How was dinner?”

“Before that, are you alright? Kai gave me a quick rundown over the phone earlier about what happened at the cemetery,” Soobin maintains a look of concern over his face, leaning over the table to cup your cheeks with his hands and look directly in your eyes. You almost burst in tears with how overbearing your guilt has become.

You shake your head, pulling away from his hands like they were on fire. “I’m fine,” you reply curtly and your heart breaks when you see the hurt in his eyes from your reaction to his touch.

“We didn’t realize that you would panic so much in a situation like that. I’m really sorry we hurt you,” Soobin apologizes, cringing in his seat in fear of receiving a negative response from you again.

Looking back at him, you realize that he really doesn’t deserve to feel guilty, at least, not towards you. “I’m fine now. It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“It doesn’t seem like it.”

“Can you just tell me about how your dinner went?” You ask, hoping to change the subject, still fearing what the outcome of tonight could become. “I wanna know,” you add after noticing his hesitance in answering. And when you smile, just a small one, Soobin does too.

Sighing and leaning back into the back of his seat, Soobin chuckles to himself. “Well, the dinner was for us to meet my sister’s boyfriend,” he starts, and when you nod attentively, he continues, allowing himself to get into his recap. “And I don’t know if you remember but my brother got engaged last month, so being the youngest, they started pestering me about dating too and then my brother brought you up because you’re like the only girl I know and like. Well not like but, you know what I mean. Obviously I like you, I mean, I hired you for a reason-” And Soobin continues ranting, and you let him. He seems like he needs the release and you need to savour this last dinner with him while you can; while he doesn’t know yet what a liar you are.

And to lie about his greatest passion; who were you to interrupt something that he cared about?

“Flower? Are you actually okay?” You don’t realize you’ve zoned out until he’s waving his hand directly in your face.

“Um, yeah-”

“Actually, no. You’re not,” he interrupts, answering for you. “You called me out here to talk, didn’t you?” And though the tone in his voice and the look on his face still appears as classic kind Soobin, you know his words imply an annoyance with you. “You can talk to me Flower. I want you to talk to me and feel like you can trust me. I’m sorry if tonight was too much for you but I promise we’ll make sure you’ll be safe in the future.”

“That’s not why I asked you to see me,” you admit quietly, allowing the quiet bustling of the cafe to fill your silence while you make your mind up. The more you let this night continue, the more you stall revealing the truth, and you know that Soobin deserves more than that.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” Soobin whispers over the table at a volume you don’t think you would have caught if you weren’t paying attention.

“I haven’t been doing a very good job of lying anyways, so I’ll just come out and say it,” you start, leaning back against the back of your chair and just deciding once for all to just tell the truth: “I don’t actually sense ghosts. I barely even believed in them until the fucking seance, so there. The childhood ouija thing was true and it did scare me half to death, but it was also just a childhood memory and- Well, that’s the truth. I don’t know why or what was going on in my mind when I lied at the job interview. I just needed the job.” You keep your eyes locked on a few scratches on the wooden table, too afraid to look up and see whatever hope was deflating out of Soobin’s happy eyes. “I’m sorry.”

And then, the thing that you least expect happens.

In fact, you could have never predicted his reaction.

Soobin slowly reaches over, grasping the near-empty glass of raspberry lemonade by your side and gulps down the rest of the drink. “That’s really good. I get why you order it,” he comments, placing the now empty glass back down onto your coaster. And though you are indeed surprised, and a little upset that you couldn’t finish your own drink, you’re still too confused and still feel much too guilty to say anything out loud. “That’s what you get for taking so long.”

“Huh?” You ask at a volume much quieter than the last time you spoke. “For what?

“To tell me.”

And your heart drops. “Huh?”

“I knew,” Soobin chuckles, looking back at you with the most surprisingly loving eyes.

“Huh?”

“I’m not stupid, Flower.”

“Then why did you hire me?” You say this a little too loud, catching the unwanted attention of the baristas and the few other late-night patrons of the cafe. Waving them away with a sheepish smile, you turn back to Soobin and repeat your question.

Amused with your reaction, Soobin shrugs smugly. “I liked you.”

“Huh?”

“You say that a lot, don’t you?” Soobin teases, going back to his coffee now that he could no longer take your lemonade.

“Wait, explain,” you say, placing your hands flat on the table as an attempt to gather your bearings.

The boy in front of you taps his fingers against the table, thinking about how to start his response and explanation. “I could tell pretty much the moment you said that you saw ghosts that it was out of desperation. I thought it was cute,” Soobin admits, making your eyes bulge in flabbergast. “You did such a good job with the act though, I was beginning to believe you.”

Beginning to feel another panic set in, you clear your throat. “Wait, continue.”

And so he does. “Part of me just wanted to know why you felt the need to lie, but quite honestly, Beomgyu talked you up so much beforehand so I was extra curious.”

“Beomgyu?”

“Ever since we first met, Gyu’s been mentioning you as part of the reason why he loves filmography and all this technical stuff so much,” Soobin answers with a smile on his face. “I always found it interesting, you know? That, to this day, Beomgyu would still be mentioning a girl that he didn’t have a crush on; a girl he wasn’t even close with.”

You blink, his words not quite making sense in your mind. Leave it to Choi Soobin to still take you by surprise and leave you shocked even though you’ve spent the better part of the past month getting to know each other much more intimately. “Wh-what?”

And to your frustration, Soobin only laughs again, and though you’re still confused, his smile makes the world feel okay. “That’s why I felt like I needed to hire you. I wanted to see what you were about.”

“And… what am I about?” You ask carefully. “Now that you know me a little better.”

“I like you,” Soobin answers, so calmly and so casually though you honestly feel your heart tightening and yet exploding all at the same time. “Like as a friend and stuff, of course,” he corrects himself and you allow yourself to breath. “Well, maybe a little more, but in general, I do like you Flower. You’re smart, you’re a go-getter, and I can see why Beomgyu likes you so much.”

Maybe a little more, huh.

“What do you mean?”

Soobin smiles, more to himself, you notice, as he picks at a piece of lint on his perfectly ironed blue shirt. “You’ve barely been in my life for a few weeks and I really don’t think I could fire you even if I wanted to.”

“Because I do my job so well?”

“Yes, and because I just really like working with you,” he continues to explain, answering all your questions without any hint of hesitance or lies. “And so does everyone else. Kai calls you mom, Yeonjun actually looks up from his phone when you’re in the room, and Taehyun finally has someone that appreciates his magic tricks instead of just being annoyed by them.”

And so does everyone else.

They like you.

And you lied.

“Flower, I hope you don’t feel too guilty about lying. It really isn’t that big of a deal,” Soobin reassures you, reaching across the table to take your hands in his. His hands are cold from the evening wind, a little dry too from a day of running about; but his hands feel comfortable nonetheless.

“But it is,” you insist. “I lied because I wanted the job. I lied about what you care about so much.”

“I guess it is a little hurtful,” Soobin admits solemnly, looking down at your fingers, now intertwined. “Have you ever lied like this before?”

You shake your head immediately. “No, not at all. I bullshit a lot, just like anybody else, but this was a first for me too.” This is the truth, and when you see his eyes fixed back on yours, you continue with honesty and sincerity this time. “And the more that I got to know everyone better… The more I got to know you better, I just felt guiltier and guiltier because I was so scared that you would hate me if you found out.” This is very much the truth as well.

Eyes turning into those little crescents again, you feel safe. And as his thumbs circle around to massage the back of your hands, Soobin whispers to you. “At this point, I don’t think I could ever hate you.”

You spend the next few hours in the cafe, reordering your drinks when they’d finished and even sharing a slice of chocolate cake as you continued opening up to one another and building up lost trust again.

You open up about your history as a bit of a troublemaker, and he laughs at your stories amusingly. He opens up about being the youngest in his family and how things have changed as the leader of his brotherhood, and you can’t help but tease him about the prospects of marrying. You ask about how much burden he’s under as a young CEO responsible for the salary and reputations and livelihoods of his friends, and he answers honestly, admitting that he’s thankful you’re willing to share the burden of that work with him. He asks about your aspirations in the future, and you answer that you’ve never wanted to go down another road than working in the media and working with film.

Choi Soobin doesn’t fire you, but at the end of the night, just when the barista threatens to kick you both out when the cafe closes at the stroke of midnight, you ask for time apart from the company. Just a week or so to allow you to collect your thoughts and to allow the other boys to come to terms with what you’d done.

And though Choi Soobin honestly doesn’t want to not see you, even if it’s just for a little while, he respects your request and you part ways with a hug that lasts a little too long to be considered simply friendly.

Soobin [14:39]

Come to the flower shop at ten tonight

Soobin [14:40]

The one where I bought you those flowers

It’s been hours since you saw the notification on your phone, but you’re too panicked to reply back. It’s been a week and two days since you’ve last seen any of the boys and you haven’t really talked to any of them since either, though Beomgyu has sent you a few Tiktoks that he found funny. Looking at your calendar, you’ve deduced that he’s invited you to the overnight shoot you were scheduled to have at the allegedly haunted flower shop; and while this is obviously an invite, you have to admit that you’re a little worried that you might only arrive to be fired officially.

And though you are afraid of what might happen, you prepare yourself anyways, getting ready to help them film but also ensuring not to overdress in case you’re only being invited to leave. And it’s a subconscious decision but you do end up wearing blue. Everything in the world except for your feelings are blue when Choi Soobin is involved. And it’s beautiful.

When you get off your Uber, the blinds inside the flower shop are drawn but you can see that there are in fact lights on inside. It’s a little past ten now and you know that the flower shop closed at nine, so they’re calling you in late for a reason that you try your best not to think about. You take a deep breath, placing your hand on the door handle and testing to see if it was left unlocked. And when you hear a click, you realize that it has been.

Turning the knob, you open the door with a courage you muster from the bottom of your heart, and when the door swings open, the first thing you notice is the pretty music drifting in a low volume in the air. The fairy lights are all turned on, glowing dimly in the flower room with all the furniture pushed aside to allow for a set up you can’t quite see because when you look up, Choi Soobin is standing there with the goofiest shyest smile on his face and a bowtie completing his suit.

“You’re late,” is the first thing he says. “I was starting to think you weren’t gonna come.” His voice is soft, and so are his eyes, looking down at his feet with a shyness you’ve become familiar with by now.

You blink. “What?”

“Is it too much?” Soobin asks, fiddling with the buttons on his suit jacket and moving aside to present the picnic set up to you. It’s a just a simple baby blue blanket laid out on the floor, with a basket containing what you assume to be whatever food has been brought for the evening. And you can feel your heart stop when your head begins to put together why you’ve been invited here.

“Soob-” You mutter under your breath, too afraid to say anything that might change his mind, because your mind is, well, blank.

“I’m sorry. I just-” Soobin stops, still unable to make eye contact with you, getting more fidgety than you’ve ever seen him. “I like you. I already said that. I know. Like three days ago, but Flower, not seeing you for those three days, I realized how much I just wanted you around. Not just as an assistant and as an extra hand on set, even though you do a very good job and I want you to still work with us and so does everyone else,” he begins to rant, both of your hearts beating so fast that you feel like they aren’t beating at all. “I don’t just like you as a friend, and I really, I don’t know if I’ll ever like anyone this much. And I just figured that, hey, we’re already at a very weird spot in our friendship. You just confessed that you lied to me, and I didn’t confess anything back, so, here I am. Confessing.”

Confessing.

“Flower, this is kind of something I’d like a response on...”

You’re too frozen to reply, too stunned by his confession that you’re fixed in your position by the door, racking your head for the words for an answer. “Jimin,” is the first word that comes out of your mouth, and his eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Does he know you’re here?”

“Oh yeah,” Soobin answers, nodding vigorously and pointing a thumb towards the office in the back. “Actually, the other boys are coming at like 2am to film. I just really wanted to be able to see you first. And tell you, like this.”

Silence.

Soobin takes a sharp inhale when he sees that you’re still staring at him with a blank look on your face. “It’s okay if you don’t like me back. I just figured I’d-”

His lips are soft, which honestly doesn’t surprise you since you know he carries a lipbalm with him everywhere. They taste bitter, but in a deep, rich way; like the way that the coffee he takes at the cafe where you first met tastes. He feels like blue - the color; like safety, and serenity, and calmness, and unity, and inspiration.

He stumbles backwards when you first kiss him, shocked by the unexpectedness and the push. But he does kiss back, hands resting on your waist respectfully and yet still firmly as your arms encircle his neck, fingers toying with the ends of the back of his hair.

And when you pull away, he keeps you close, noses still touching though you’re both out of breath. And then, you look up and notice something new. “You re-dyed your hair,” you smile. “You told me that you would go with me.”

“But I wanted to look all pretty and clean for you,” Soobin pouts, hoping to gain your pity.

“I like the bowtie,” you whisper, looking down to toy with it.

“Do you like the blue?” Soobin chuckles at your remark, looking up at his own hair before making eye contact with you again, essentially the first one you’ve shared since your arrival. “It’s cornflower blue.”

And to that response, you can’t help but giggle. “Like the flower?”

He nods. “Mhmm. Like a flower as beautiful as you.”

#tomorrow x together #choi soobin #txt soobin #x reader #soobin x reader #soobin fluff #w: bg

[slightlymore]

my soulmate loves wine

part of the ‘soulmates collection’

doyoung x fem reader

others: jaemin, jeno 

genre: one-shot, soulmates au, enemies? to lovers, romance, smut, fluffy tones, phone chat (there are pics of the conversation) 

warnings: tarot readings, alcohol, swearing, insults, explicit sex scenes (oral f and m, penetration, protected and unprotected - seriously, have unprotected sex only with people you trust. if you will have unprotected sex with strangers, i will manifest in the room and besides it being absolutely embrarrassing for you, i will also smack your heads together and call you stupid - bondage, rough, spanking, hair pulling, spit swallowing, slight breeding kink, use of 'slut', dom doyoung,  sub doyoung, overstimulation f and m, edging f and m, dry humping, wet humping, mouth fucking, cum swallowing, slight exhibitionism, f solo, m solo, phone sex), doyoung has a big cock too lmao (in all of my own personal readings I always get that my soulmate has a big cock for no reason and I thought it was a funny detail)

words: 17K

tag list:  @seostudios @doyochii @doodlingpizza @eboyhyunjunreblogs​ @mina-is-babie @sorrywonwoo @peterrogers15 @delphiskpoporacle @waffletaeng @wownajaemin @shimyshimykoko @doyoung-onli @chxb03 @strawberrymilkandcigarettes @hyucksie​ @neonun-au​ @cumtrov3rsy​ 

_____

January 1st 2:23 am 

And if he's not my soulmate, I'd rather wander alone than touching someone else's skin, I'd rather walk this earth with no hand to hold and lift me from the ground. And if I have to heal from it and accept the universe's imposed call, I'd rather suffer from my eternally open wounds. I'll fight the stars and let them burn me, I'll let them laugh at my weakest state and I'd gladly make them erase my memory of ever existing in all of the infinite lives if I have to follow Fate. 

Doyoung felt the golden letters on the book cover in front of him and raised his eyes when he heard the crystal curtain move. 

“I wouldn’t open it if I were you.” 

A middle-aged woman was smiling at him, walking towards the table Doyoung and Jaemin were sat at. 

The room became even darker but a certain comfort engulfed Doyoung when she smiled. 

“I’ve never seen a book with a poem on the cover instead of a title.” 

“A dear friend of mine made it.” 

Her expression was calm and peaceful when she eyed the book and put her hand on it, pulling it towards herself. 

“It’s beautiful,” Doyoung looked at the worn bordeaux leather. “What’s inside?” 

“I’m glad you like it. And that’s-,” she leaned in mysteriously, “-a secret.” 

As she spoke, a little candle lit up between them and the boys both flinched. 

“Wow,” Jaemin whispered. 

Doyoung blinked at the woman then chuckled once, laughing mostly at himself for being so jumpy for no reason. That place was made to look creepy but he reminded himself that it was only a facade. 

“I’m here for a reading.” Her gaze was piercing and Doyoung realized that she hadn’t stopped looking at him since she entered the room. 

“There’s a certain resistance on your part.” Doyoung tried not to snort. “Well…” I don’t believe in these sorts of things, he wanted to say, but Jaemin suddenly laughed, slamming his palm on the table and making a decent amount of colourful stones jingle on the glass table. 

Doyoung sighed. “Sorry, my friend is very drunk.” 

“You’re also drunk as fuck,” the other pointed his finger to the first’s face, poking him in the nose as he couldn’t keep his balance. 

The woman smiled kindly as if unbothered to suddenly have two obnoxious young men trying to get a reading at two in the morning.  “This is going to be a love reading. We’ll see what the Spirit wants to tell you about your soulmate.” “Actually, I’m here for a general one? Like, I don’t know-,” Doyoung tried to find his words and looked at Jaemin. “Money and sex?” the younger one suggested before they could have another laughter fit for no apparent reason. The woman kept the corner of her lips lifted as she retrieved a beautiful tarot deck. “Would you blow on this please?” Jaemin tried to open his eyes. “Blow? Of course. Doyoung is good at blowing.” Doyoung hit him with the shoulder. “Shut the fuck up. We’ll get kicked out if you continue,” he whispered amused. Or at least he tried to whisper. The boys kept giggling for a few more moments then got serious as they eyed the spread of cards in front of them. 

The woman nodded and smiled. 

Doyoung blinked at the lady then at the cards. 

"There's mystery and magic attached to this connection. The universe wants this to be a surprise. You’ve been manifesting a lot, haven’t you?” 

The young man felt suddenly very awake. 

“Uhm, no.” 

“It’s okay if you’re not honest with me. The Spirit can see your true feelings. It’s saying that if you needed a confirmation that this is real, then here it is.”

Doyoung stared at her nail, tapping at the card and wondered how many years of training she needed to be able to read people like that since he was sure that that piece of paper could not be able to tell her anything. 

Relaxing on his chair he tried to put on the most neutral expression ever then nodded. 

Okay, it meant. Go on. 

“King of cups. Your soulmate is very in touch with their emotions. They’re going to teach you how to open up more since it’s difficult for you to express what you’re feeling.” Doyoung tightened his lips before he could wrongfully deny it. On his left, Jaemin was already sleeping with his head on the table.

_____

January 1st 2:23 pm 

"Will we know right away that we're each other's soulmate?" 

The Lady smiled and nodded at your widened and curious eyes. 

"You have an intense soul connection. Also, you’ll know right away because sex-,” You gulped. “-is going to be the best you’ve ever had in your whole life. He’s a very fiery person and is quite domineering, I can tell it from the King of swords. He wants to dominate you in bed, maybe pull your hair? You love it. And he definitely loves your body, especially legs and chest. He worships you and he will put you on a pedestal.” 

You felt your face warm up so you put your palms on your cheeks, trying hard to process all of that information. 

The woman continued after a little giggle to herself. “He can come off a little cocky. He thinks he’s very good in bed thanks to his natural attributes but that’s just because he’s a little insecure. Maybe consider reassuring him that he’s making you feel good?” 

Your mouth was dry and you automatically nodded. 

“Wait, what do you mean with- uh-- with natural attributes?”

_____

Sometime in June 

“Did you hear about the guy accused of stealing because it looked like he had something in his pocket while in reality, it was his 10 inches monster?” Jaemin asked before laughing like a supervillain, head thrown back on the couch cushions, splattering spit all over Doyoung who was sitting near him with furrowed eyebrows as he tried to find a good movie to watch. 

“Yeah, it was me,” Doyoung replied with a monotone voice. 

“Oh? Doyoung made a joke? I guess I might say that you’re-- cocky?” 

Doyoung chuckled even if he tried not to. 

“Okay, since you’re in a good mood-,” the other clapped his hands once. “No.” “You don’t even know what I wanted to ask you!” Jaemin whined. “I’m busy.” “You don’t do anything all day.” “I have to take care of my monster cock-” Jaemin slapped Doyoung’s mouth to cover it. “It hurts,” he mumbled. 

“Listen. Next Sunday you’ll accompany me at the opening of a new winery. You don’t have to do anything besides be pretty and drink wine while I try to get between one of the associates’ legs.” “I knew it had to do with pussy.” “She invited me! It’s not like I can refuse. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I met her at that work meeting.” “You mean a few days ago?” “Love has no stages.” “Why do I have to come with you?” “I have two invitations. Drinking expensive wine for free? Hello? I’m doing you a favour," he spoke quickly and dramatically, clicking his fingers. “You need three invitations, for me and my co--ahi!” Doyoung giggled after Jaemin smacked him with a cushion.

_____

You had no idea you’d be having backseat sex that day and honestly, you felt highly unprepared. 

Black ripped jeans and a leather jacket, the most basic outfit one guy could have on, yet you were salivating and for once it was not because of the pizza Jeno was handing you. 

“Uhm, Houston?” he clicked his fingers in front of your face then looked into the direction you were looking. 

“The guy on the right?” he asked without batting an eye. “How did you know?” you turned your head suddenly to face him and he put the slice of pizza inside of your open mouth. Then he rolled his eyes. 

“He’s completely your type.” "I want to fuck him."

Jeno raised one eyebrow and you suddenly realized what you've just said. 

"No. I meant-," "Hey! Guy with the rabbit mask!" Jeno suddenly yelled at the group of boys sitting on the grass in front of you. "What the fuck are you doing? Are you stupid?" you pulled his arm down. "My friend here said that she wants to f-," you slammed a hand on his mouth before he could finish. "I'm going to kill you," you whispered as Jeno started to giggle. 

The Rabbit boy looked at you for a little while, tilting his head to the side, but then turned his back to you. He probably didn't hear anything and thought that you were all drunk. 

“What the fuck was that?” you whispered. 

Jeno sighed. “Y/N. You’re too shy. If you want to fuck a guy just go and do it."

You scoffed. “I’m too shy? I am not shy. I can fuck whoever I want.” “Yeah? Then fuck the Rabbit.” 

You crossed your arms on your chest and put your tongue in your cheek. 

“Can’t do it huh?” Jeno teased you. "I can. And I will." "I bet you can't." "I bet I will."

_____

“I’ll be honest with you. I’m here because of a bet.” The Rabbit had a gulp of beer as if girls with a Moon mask approached him with bet talk every day. Then he giggled. 

“Sorry, your mask is ridiculous.” 

You rolled your eyes even if he couldn’t see it. 

Okay, he was a douche. Did you still want to fuck him though? Yes. 

“What’s the bet about?” he inquired. 

You straightened your lips in a tight line, the sound of your pulse almost audible in the silence of the parking lot. 

“MyfriendsaidthatIwouldn’tbeabletofuckyoubecauseI’mshyandIwanttoprovetohimthatI’mnot.” 

You spitted everything out thanks to the gigantic amounts of wine you had that night and found yourself panting a little when you were done. A little voice inside your head was screaming that it was dangerous and highly inappropriate for you to behave like that but you shrugged internally and hit it in the face.

“What?” the dude asked after a beat. 

You sighed. “MyfriendsaidthatIw-” “Okay, okay,” he raised his palms, “hold up. Talk slowly? Your friend what?” “Myfriendsaid-” “Can you just talk slowly, please?” 

“Nevermind,” you turned your back to him and walked away. 

“Mooney, come back here.” 

You stopped. “How did you just call me?”

The guy straightened his back and laughed under his mask. “If you want to fuck me, at least try and seduce me first.” “Aren’t you already under my spell if you’re so eager to keep going on with this conversation?” you found yourself saying. He shrugged. “I’m just bored. And don’t you want to win that bet? I guess you’re actually shy and your friend was right.” You scoffed. “I’m not gullible. You won’t make me do things only because you told me that I can’t.” “You’re here doing a thing only because your friend told you that you can’t. How is that not being gullible?” “It’s not being gullible if I’m here with that as an excuse when in reality I want to fuck you on the backseat, Rabbit.” 

You couldn’t see his face but you knew he was smiling as he opened the car’s door and with a dramatic gesture he invited you in. 

You walked in front of him slowly, asking yourself what the fuck you were actually doing, and he was quick to follow you inside. 

It was dark and warm and you decided to lie to yourself that the trembling sigh that escaped your lips was because you’ve been feeling cold before and not because you felt the Rabbit’s hands on your waist. You let him pull you in his lap and his palms slowly brushed your goosebumpy thighs first, then your torso, hovering over your breasts before they could grab your mask and take it away. You were breathing through your mouth and you desperately needed to see his expression upon seeing your face. With trembling fingers, you pulled the little white rabbit down and his eyes made an appearance first forcing you to inhale sharply. Masks slipping on the side, you both took in the view of each other. He did not speak a word and you didn’t either. 

“Do-,” you started unsurely, “do we know each other? Have we met before?” 

He blinked at you and you could tell he was as confused as you were. “I don’t think so,” he whispered and you finally realized how close he was. 

Like a switch, when you moved he moved as well and you roughly hit your mouths together, his hands cupping your ass and your fingers curling in his hair. It was so fast and almost painful the way you embraced each other that you wondered just how horny some wine could make you become. He grunted as you suddenly bit his neck and just that sound made your blood boil. You knew how and where to touch him and when his fingers got underneath your dress it seemed like he knew your weak spots as well. You let go of his neck and grabbed his head as your nipples disappeared inside his mouth. His lips were cold just like his touch and it made you shiver.

_____

Doyoung noticed you the exact moment you walked onto the lawn. 

Your legs were bare and he wondered why Jaemin dragged him to such a weird party. 

“Just buy whatever,” the younger said behind a black ominous mask while examining himself in the mirror. 

Doyoung hummed pensively and grabbed the white Rabbit. 

“I wanted that one too but since I’m going to see the associate lady tonight again, I thought that something less stupid would be better,” commented Jaemin.  

“So you think this is stupid?” 

“It goes well with your vibe. Buy it,” he wiggled his eyebrows and for once Doyoung just sighed and shrugged. 

“Ah come on, why are you not in a good mood tonight? We’ll have free food and alcohol tonight then free food and wine tomorrow.” 

“I really don’t feel like coming. It makes no sense to throw a party before a party. I can’t believe you tricked me into coming to two parties.” 

It was Jaemin’s turn to shrug. “These people have been travelling through all of Europe and shit. It’s their version of an afterparty. Like a rave. But it’s before the actual party and it’s on grass, with masks on and at 5 pm. You have to come.” "So there's going to be classical music and tea?" 

The cashier ringed their items quickly and Jaemin took out his wallet to pay.   “Why do you even get invited to all of these events?” Doyoung went on and added a pack of mints too. Jaemin smirked. “She likes me a lot, huh? Can’t wait to taste that sweet juicy pussy.” The cashier cleared her throat and was quick to dismiss them with her rightfully dry “have a good day”. “I just think she’s trying to gather customers for her wine. Don’t get your hopes up.” “She’ll want to gift me her wine after I’ll make her boun-”

Doyoung was so ready to accept an evening of him wandering around a party full of strangers talking in god knows what languages while his friend got it wet that when you pressed yourself on his crotch, nibbling at his neck and exhaling so deeply, he felt lightheaded. 

You were with another guy and Doyoung watched you sit down on the cushions behind his group of friends. Your nude legs got even nuder as your white dress shifted up exposing your thighs. A sudden urge to spread them invaded his mind and he had to do something with his hands instead. 

“Hey, guy with the rabbit mask!” 

Doyoung turned his head around right in time to see you smack the dude on the face. 

“Did that guy just tell you that his friend wants to fuck you?” Jaemin inquired with a giggle. Doyoung wondered how Jaemin could hear something like that at such a distance. 

“I guess?” he agreed though. “And I want to fuck her too,” he heard himself add.  

Jaemin’s mask looked as shocked as his expression underneath it. 

“Why are you so bold all of a sudden? No, I mean, yes! Fuck her.” 

Doyoung shook his head to get rid of the imaginary fog. “I was joking. Why are you getting so worked up?” 

But when Jaemin finally disappeared suddenly, presumably to drink some wine with his lady, Doyoung could physically feel your eyes on his back as he walked down the hill towards the parking lot. 

Your steps were light and you’d stop when he’d stop, unsuccessfully hiding behind the tall bushes of roses. 

As he unlocked his car with a high toned beep, he leaned on the side of it and waited for you to approach him. A giggle left his chest when he saw you trying to find him in the middle of all of those cars. 

“I am here,” he announced and you jolted. 

Turning around you eyed him and stopped in place then took a timid step, then another until only a few separated you from him. 

“I’ll be honest with you. I’m here because of a bet.” 

You looked airy just like the moon on your mask and he thought you were adorable swinging your body weight from one foot to another like that. 

“Sorry, your mask is-,” adorable, “-ridiculous. What’s the bet about?” 

“My friend said that I wouldn’t be able to fuck you because I’m shy and I want to prove to him that I’m not.” 

You were so bold that Doyoung felt his air miss from his lungs. 

You slurred your words on purpose and he tried hard to pretend that he didn’t understand just to hear you say that you wanted him to fuck you again. 

“What?” he asked.

You sighed. “MyfriendsaidthatIw-” “Okay, okay,” he raised his palms, “hold up. Talk slowly? Your friend what?” “Myfriendsaid-” “Can you just talk slowly, please?” “Nevermind.” 

Fuck. 

“Mooney, come back here.” 

The air rustled with energy and he completely missed everything besides “I want to fuck you on the backseat” part and he had no idea how you got into the car and how he got you on his legs. 

But now there you were, soft in his arms. 

And when you took away your mask his head got drilled by a thousand questions. Your eyes, mirroring his expression as you slid his mask down, told him that you were thinking the same thing. Like two magnets you collided in a heated kiss and your scent was so familiar that Doyoung sighed when you let his lips go to breathe.

_____

Finally, finally, finally, your mind was chanting as the Rabbit moulded your body with his hands. 

Your mind became mush so quickly that it was honestly embarrassing when you realized that you were riding his hardened cock. His lips on your neck seemed amused and after a moment he took away his fingers from your body, leaning back and watching you from under heavy lids. 

You bit your lower lip and stopped with a certain difficulty, the burning sensation between your legs already boiling inside your veins. 

"Go on." 

His voice was sultry and raspy and your body reacted to it as if under a spell. 

Your fingers on his shoulders deepened their hold and you closed your eyes for a brief moment before opening them again. 

"Come on. Go on. Doesn't it feel good?" 

He cooed, dragging one single finger across your bust, between your breasts and down on your stomach. His eyes wouldn't let a single expression of yours escape them. 

"It would feel better if you fucked me."

The light in his irises twinkled. 

"But I like to see you like this," he said before leaning in and letting his breath caressing your ear. "Desperate." 

His voice was like a hiss and your skin shivered with goosebumps. You felt his open mouth on your nude shoulder, slowly going towards your clavicle and you extended your neck up to welcome him. 

"Go on," he ordered again and your hips snapped, rolling on him, feeling the way your panties got pulled up as he slid his hands under your dress and twirled the sides around his fingers. It was frustrating as intoxicating and soon enough the windows of his car became misty from your heavy breaths. 

"I hate this," you whined and he chuckled. "I can see that."

Almost completely lost in your foggy mind you jolted at a sudden snap and you stopped your motions just to see him slide your panties from between your legs and throw them to the front. 

With a single pull, he pushed your now raw pussy on his clothed cock while his hands spread your ass, guiding your movements. 

"Fuck," you gasped, feeling the rough material on your sensitive skin and it didn't take you a lot to go over the edge with fingers curled inside his hair and mouths open against each other. He drank your shaking moans, then without giving you a second to remember where you were, his arms wrapped your torso and pushed you under his weight. Your feet stopped on the window as you yelped and you desperately wanted to call his name when you felt his tongue lap at your wetness. His fingers were tightly wrapped around your thighs and when you moaned a few times in a row, your back arching and your body squirming in his hold, he palmed your stomach and pressed you down again.

_____

You looked like every sex dream Doyoung has ever had. 

Arms thrown around your head, chest rising and falling, your sweet whimpers and soft skin, it drove him crazy. Your thighs pressing on the side of his head felt like everything he has ever wanted but wasn’t aware of. 

Mine mine mine all mine. A weird possession sentiment swept him away and when he looked up at your fucked up expression he felt like shivering. With a plop he let your clit go and kept pumping his fingers inside of you, curling them right where you wanted him to, kissing your navel, licking your under breasts, sucking the skin in until it probably hurt, then sucking on your nipples, and finally on your lower lip. He wanted to see your face when you’d cum all over his fingers and when you gasped, wrapping his torso with your arms and trying to hide your face into the crook of his neck, he grabbed your chin and made you look at him. Your eyelids fluttered as he heard you swear multiple times and as he felt you clench so deliciously that he couldn’t wait to feel it around his aching cock instead. He wanted to rest a bit, maybe put his head on your soft chest and listen to your heartbeats but you were a stranger and you were hooking up in his car. So he sat on his knees between your legs instead, panting as if he were the one who just came, and he let his eyes trail on your naked body, licking his lower lip when he reached your wet core. He would have wanted to smear all of that on himself but he reached his jacket instead and took a condom out.  

“Why do boys always carry a condom with them? You never know when you’d end up fucking?” 

“Actually, when we carry a condom we never fuck and when we don’t have it we have the opportunity to fuck.” 

“Well, today you’re lucky,” you smirked and he loved the way you tried to hide away your embarrassment with banter. 

“Do you still want to do this?” he palmed your knee.

“Yes,” you nodded. “You didn’t cum.” 

“You don’t have to worry about that. Do you want it?” 

Doyoung wondered what kind of expression he had on to make you light up so much. 

You bit your lower lip and sat up suddenly, getting on your knees as well and turning around with a certain difficulty. 

“Yes,” you said again and bent over. 

Doyoung choked at the view and wondered what country he had saved in his previous life to deserve all of that.  

_____

You dreamt about opening a winery probably since you tasted wine for the first time. 

You loved it. 

Sour, sweet, bitter, flowery, fruity, still and frizzy, you loved it all. 

People thought you were crazy and no one supported you until you met your best friend in university. 

“Are you kidding? I’d love to open a winery with you.” 

The classroom was well lit and she looked like an angel against the sunny windows. 

You looked at her with wide eyes. “Really?” 

She hit your arm playfully. “Of course! I love wine and that sounds like a very cool idea.” 

“Look, I’m actually very serious about this so if you’re saying this just to-,”

She took your hands and looked into your eyes. “Me too. We’ll do it. I promise.” 

Now, years later you were looking around at the freshly painted venue and couldn’t believe your eyes. 

You did it. 

Tall ceilings and shelves full of your blood and sweat, you walked around slowly, one finger to gently tap on the various displayed bottles. 

“Hey, hey, no touching. We’ve cleaned them up and they have to shine.” 

Your friend appeared on your side and you smiled. Her dress was sleeveless and you made a face touching her arms. 

“Have you been working out girl? What are these?” 

She snapped her head down to look at herself. “I guess… uhm, it’s all of the exercises… uhm that I do.” 

You took her sudden panic for embarrassment and cackled. “With the party guy?”

“Who?” 

“Jaemin you said?” “Oh yeah! Yeah, we’re quite active, aha.” 

“Well, to get those arms you might have done a lot of hardcore BDSM.” You laughed but your friend looked rather mortified. 

“Aw, come on,” you gently elbowed her. “I also fucked the guy from yesterday,” you added to make her feel better. And she lit up so much at the news that she almost knocked over the bottles in front of you. 

“And you tell me now? How did it go?” “Well, I guess. I don’t really want to think about it though. I don’t think I’m into hookups.”

_____

Doyoung didn't like hookups but when he stepped inside the winery's main hall and saw your legs again and the way your ass was wrapped in that short dress he desperately wanted to bury his cock in it. 

"Not bad, huh?" Jaemin smiled at the waiter welcoming them with glasses of wine, before looking up at the nicely decorated venue. 

"Yeah, not bad at all," Doyoung murmured as you turned around and he considered fucking your breasts too. 

Then he cleared his throat as he took a glass of wine as well, feeling his neck warming up. He looked around as he sipped, suddenly conscious of people as if they could read his horny mind. At that moment, with his body acting up as if possessed, he wondered if the wine didn’t have some sort of aphrodisiac in it. 

“Do you also feel a little funny?” Doyoung placed down the wine and reached for his tie to loosen it up. 

Jaemin glanced over him and promptly looked down. “Uh-oh. Do we have an emergency?” he started to laugh and Doyoung closed his eyes briefly before opening them and turning around towards the buffet. 

“Heh, did that girl do something to you? You were so upset when she left without saying anything.” 

“It was just a hookup,” Doyoung murmured trying to understand what kind of food he was staring at. 

“An amazing hookup if you get like this upon seeing her.” 

“Not for her I guess.” 

“So you are upset. Cupid worked hard last night,” he elbowed his friend. 

“Give me a break. You’re also crushing on your lady.” 

“Also? Kim Doyoung, are you crushing on the winery girl?”

He shook his head quickly putting a pastry in his mouth to have an excuse to not speak. Jaemin lightly hit him and Doyoung hit him back like kids in third grade when suddenly the lights became dimmer and you spoke into a mic.

_____

“Hey, have you seen Jeno?” you asked your friend after finishing your introductory discourse and let people finally get wasted as they wanted to. “Who?” “Jeno? The guy I’m always hanging out with? He should have been here by now but I don’t see him anywhere.” 

Your friend made a perplexed face and you sighed. “You’re right. You’ve never met him before. You’re both my best friends so I always forget that you’ve never seen each other.” 

“Well, I kinda know how he looks like, so if I see him then-,”

"So you stole my money,” a sudden voice at your back interrupted you and you turned around to lock eyes with none other than the Rabbit. 

He was so good looking that you felt the urge to kiss him, yet his mocking face made you so irrationally mad that you felt like slapping him too. 

You put your hands on your hips and raised your chin. "Proof?"

You were still panting last evening trying hard to stop shaking from your third orgasm in a row. The Rabbit did a lot of things to you and you wondered why you didn’t hook up with strangers more often if that was the outcome. His wallet was on the seat in front of you and for a split second, you smiled wondering if he carried a family photo in it. His back looked very broad as he stood outside the car and presumably tried to make himself pee with a half-hard penis but probably failing. A sudden voice startled you and Doyoung replied to it. You quickly pulled down your dress and eyed the ripped panties on the steering wheel. Shit. You tried to grab them but the dude talking to Doyoung took a few steps closer so you retreated. "Fucked her good just like you planned?" Your face scrunched in a pout and you suddenly found yourself very upset. Doyoung didn't reply anything but you weren't sure that he didn't make a face. It was a good night. You had fun and a good-looking dude made you cum. You fucked him good just like you planned too. Then why did you feel a little used? Maybe you weren’t acquainted with the hookup culture, or maybe deep down you hoped that the sudden attraction you felt for the Rabbit was magical, but suddenly you felt very weird and a wave of disgust invaded you. 

He was definitely not your soulmate and you should just get out of there. 

You opened the door slowly on your side, quietly looking over your shoulder to make sure that they wouldn’t hear you. Feet on the ground you eyed the wallet again and you opened it. Not to check his family photo as you previously wanted to, but to get all of his cash. You swallowed a chuckle and ran away up the hill back to the restaurant’s garden.

He scoffed. "You’re a terrible thief. I make you cum and you steal from me?" 

"You look like a rich guy. You deserved it. Also, you ripped my panties."

"And you liked it."

You clenched your jaw. "It wasn't even good sex."

His jaw's muscles flinched too. "You probably couldn't walk properly."

"Yeah, because of the cramped car not because of your cock." 

"I think you have a loss of memory all of a sudden. Do I have to remind you how my cock feels like?" 

"Sure. Then I will be able to say to your face that it doesn’t feel good.”

_____

"Fuck, it feels so fucking good."

Dragging you by the wrist, Doyoung shoved you in the first room he found and pressed you against the cold wall. 

"I can't believe I'm about to have sex in the rosés showroom," you spoke with a breathy voice and when Doyoung pressed his open lips on yours you realized that you didn’t even know his name. 

One thing is hooking up with a dude in his car while drunk, another thing is choosing to fuck him consciously on the opening of your new business and completely sober. 

Although, when he started to kiss your jaw and neck, his tongue slowly creeping out and tickling your nerves, your mind felt so hazy that you wondered if you somehow had something to drink already and couldn’t remember. 

Didn’t you hate the guy just a few moments ago?

“Do you really have to wear these dresses and drive me insane?” he whispered on your lips as his hands pulled up the dress in question. 

You wanted to reply with something smartass but honestly, you chose that dress with him in mind. 

Somehow, while browsing your closet for the big day, your mind could not stop thinking about the Rabbit boy. Your mixed feelings towards him confused you and you'd go on weird tangents of complete hatred and high adoration thinking about his face between your legs. 

Certain that he’d come to the opening too, you carefully wore each piece of clothing you had, looking at yourself in the mirror and imagining he was the one looking at you through your eyes. Would he like the split on your thigh? Or would he like the way the dress accentuated your breasts more? Without realizing your hands were on your bust going up slowly, gently kneading your soft skin, cupping your boobs and flicking your nipples. Then one moved on your stomach, then on your thigh and just like that you started to moan. 

And you were moaning at that moment too as the Rabbit lightly caressed your clit with the tip of his cock. You pushed your hips towards him to get more and he pushed you back into the wall, one hand reaching for your mouth and slipping the thumb on your tongue. You twirled it around his digit and sucked, lightly choking when he reached farther and choking again when you finally felt his cock fill you up too. 

“You have to be quiet, Y/N.” 

Your name on his lips made you tremble. 

He probably heard it during the welcoming discourse or read it on the pamphlets and the fact that he knew it and you didn’t know his one, made you feel vulnerable in a pleasant way. 

Or maybe it was the way his hand gripped the softness of your thigh, keeping it up on his hip, or maybe his own hips pushing inside of you that made you feel like turning into mush. 

“Will you be quiet for me or am I fucking you too good?” he took away his finger and you gasped for air, your whines getting louder. 

“As I thought,” he mocked you. “It wasn’t even good sex, she said.” 

You bit your lower lip and hid your face into the crook of his neck but he pulled you away, cupping your cheek. “You have to look at me. I want to see this pretty face when you cum.”

Your eyes fluttered as his cock basically decided to rearrange your guts and you dug your fingers into his shoulders with a teeth-gritted moan. 

“Are you close, baby?” You nodded breathlessly, the sudden pet-name just making it impossible for you to not beg to make you cum.

“You want me to make you cum?” 

You nodded again. “Gonna cum- so hard-,” 

The Rabbit thrust a few times more into you and suddenly pulled out. 

You gasped as if mortally offended but unable to move a muscle. 

"I don't think so."

His smirk made you swallow your own spit and he held your waist when he took a step back after letting your leg down. 

“Hey! Come on!” 

Dragging you away just like before he made you walk towards the party hall. His iron grip made it impossible for you to just go away and finish yourself and honestly, it would have been quite pathetic. 

You moved as if drunk, fingers visibly shaking and mind clouded in the middle of the crowd.

"Fuck, I'll make you pay for this." 

He smiled at you and intertwined his fingers with yours before lifting both of your hands and placing a kiss on your knuckles. 

"Yes darling, I've already paid last time," he replied as a few curious people looked your way and saw just a random couple chatting peacefully. 

You took a deep breath and tried to smile unbothered, imitating Doyoung's relaxed expression. 

"It was just a joke. Do you want those couple of bucks back?” 

He tilted his head to the side. “No. Let’s say I had paid you for your services.” 

You disregarded him and opened your clutch, retrieving a few dollars. With a quick hand, you shoved them halfway inside Doyoung's pants making sure others didn't stare. 

"Thank you for today’s fuck too then, slut."

_____

To say that it was easy for Doyoung to stop feeling you around his cock and pretend he wasn’t about to lose his mind when he couldn’t cum either, would be the biggest lie of the universe. But your frustrated expression, trembling limbs and glossy eyes made it all worth it. 

“Where have you been?” 

Jaemin handed him a glass of white wine and Doyoung took it absentmindedly. When he brought it to his mouth and had a sip he almost spit it back inside.

“What the fuck is this?” 

Jaemin chuckled. “The winery’s speciality.” 

“This is disgusting.” 

“I had a whole bottle of that yesterday so now I’m used to it.” 

“Why is it so sour?” 

Jaemin hit his shoulder lightly to bring his attention to something and when Doyoung raised his gaze he saw your furious aura staring at them from a few steps away. 

“Maybe the lady behind the recipe is sour as well,” he joked. “I lied when I asked you where you’ve been. Saw you together just now. Did you not fuck her good enough?” 

Doyoung smiled and took another sip of the wine, barely being able to not make a face for a second time. “I fucked her so good that now she’s mad.” 

“From her expression, she doesn’t look very pleased with the experience. And in fact,” Jaemin added quickly, grabbing Doyoung’s arm since he got distracted by the red wine, “she’s probably seeking a better one.” 

You were chuckling at some dude’s pick-up line and accepted to disappear with him out of Doyoung’s sight. 

The sweet dessert wine he tasted felt as sour as the first one.

_____

“Is the person I’m thinking about my soulmate?” “You already know the answer to that.” 

You bit your lower lip unsure. 

“What do you want me to say?” the lady smiled. “Yes or no.” “Why don’t you have faith?” 

You leaned back in your chair and let your gaze fall on the decorations on the tarot reader’s desk. The little obsidian stones reminded you of the dude’s eyes and it made you irrationally angry. 

You wanted to make him jealous. 

You wanted him to come up to you and grab your hand or something and make the boring-ass guy that approached you to leave. 

But he didn’t. 

If he really were your soulmate, wouldn’t you both feel it? Were you just going crazy? Were you lonely enough that you weighed your every desire on him?

“I saw him just twice and I don’t even know his name,” you sighed, talking almost to yourself. 

You probably unconsciously pouted because the Lady smiled kindly at you. She was no therapist but she gladly accepted to talk to you again after your first encounter. 

“Does he match the description the cards gave you?” 

“Well, he does have a very big cock, yeah,” you started. “Uhm, yes, it was that type of meeting,” you explained quickly before she could judge but the woman didn’t look unfazed. In fact, she was quite pleased to hear that. 

“You think that meeting your soulmate is just seeing them and everything falls into place. But it’s harder than that. You still have to want it and you still have to work for the union. So many people missed the opportunity to get with their soulmate because they didn’t work hard enough.” 

“Well, shouldn’t this be meant to be or something? Even if I make mistakes?” 

The Lady tilted the head to the side and for a split second you felt as if talking to a lost best friend. “We have a lot of choice in life. Everything is out there ready for you and you will get help but only if you have faith it will happen.”

_____

“You again?” he asked, fakely annoyed. 

You’ve always brushed off your mom’s words. 

“At least take your sweatpants out of your knee-high socks.” “It’s just the convenience store at the corner, mom. It’s not like I will meet my soulmate tonight at 10 pm.” 

But you actually met him and it was terrible. 

The packs of instant ramen in your hands trembled a little as the Rabbit dude passed one hand through his hair waiting for a normal human reaction from you.  

“What are you doing here?” 

“Buying groceries for dinner,” he explained then eyed your snacks. “You too, I see.” 

You tried to not let his subtle mockery get to you. “Yeah but why in this store in particular?” 

“You’re wondering if this is fate?” he giggled. 

But actually, Doyoung was the first to wonder if it was fate. 

He has never really thought of the Lady’s words in detail, nor he believed in any of it, but when he first saw you descending the hill with your moon costume as if you were the actual moon, his mind independently carved the thought of how nice it would be for you to be his soulmate.  

“I live in this neighbourhood and I assume you do too since you’re dressed like this,” he let his eyes fall and he looked at your stained pyjama pants. 

A wave of heat passed through your whole body and for the first time, it wasn’t pleasure. 

Your real soulmate would have never said that. 

Embarrassed, you cleared your throat. 

“Well, see you around then.” Turning on your heels, you didn’t wait for him to greet you back. 

“Did that guy make you cum?” 

You stopped so suddenly that the first two packs of ramen fell to your feet. You grunted and tried to bend but it was impossible to grab them without making the others fall too. With the corner of your eye, you saw the rabbit boy’s hands retrieving your stuff and when he got up again you felt his skin on the back of your hands as he pulled the remaining packs from you and let them fall in his cart. “Thank you.” 

“Answer my question.” 

You gulped but put on a brave face. 

“This is not a conversation to have in the condiments aisle.” “Then come to my apartment.” 

The intensity in his voice made your heart beat faster and then you blinked at his back as he turned around the cart and made his way towards the register. 

“Wait, my ramen!” 

He didn’t acknowledge you and greeted the cashier good evening. You awkwardly stood beside him as they beeped all of his fancy groceries. 

“Uhm-,” you extended your hands to get your ramen but they beeped that too without batting an eye and the rabbit bagged everything in a few seconds. 

“I- I could have- why-?” you followed him. “Now I have to pay you back.” “You gave me enough money last time.” 

You crossed your arms on your chest as Doyoung placed the bags inside his car's trunk.

“That was for-,” you started but stopped realizing that you were about to talk about sex on a busy street in front of your corner grocery store. 

He smiled. “Yeah?” 

“Give me my ramen now.” 

“Get inside,” he indicated with his head and without missing a beat he got behind the wheel. 

“Why do you even drive if you live in the neighbourhood?” You entered and sighed, trying to put on the seat belt. “The groceries are heavy.” “Do you even lift?” “I love lifting women but not groceries.” “You lift other women and I can’t get a guy to make me cum without you asking me questions about it?” 

Doyoung looked at you with a little smile as you stopped at the red sign. “Does the thought of me with other women make you upset or am I imagining things?” “Does the thought of guys making me cum make you upset?” you retorted. “Yes.” 

You choked on air and the movement of the car starting again made your body press back on the seat. You didn’t expect that. 

“Then why did you make me leave with him?” 

Your voice got tiny and you hoped he didn’t actually hear you because at the same moment you realized that it was a little embarrassing. But his sudden glance told you that he did. His gaze returned towards the street and his adam apple travelling up and down his throat told you that he didn’t know what to say. 

“Why did you leave with him?” he eventually asked. 

It was your turn to not speak. 

Not in a million years you’d admit to a stranger you wanted to make him jealous. A stranger that put his dick in you twice, but a stranger nevertheless. 

“We just talked a bit. I was bored.” “So I guess he didn’t make you cum.” “I don’t do hookups,” you said before realizing what you’ve just said. “I mean-,” you looked at him and he blinked back. Fuck. You told the hookups guy that you didn’t do hookups. 

“I mean, without being attracted to the person a lot. And that dude was not attractive,” you tried to explain fighting the urge to hide your face away. 

“Thank you. I’m also crazily attracted to you.” 

The car’s air became a little heavier and you thought that if you touched it with a single finger it would buzz as if made of electricity. 

The walk to the apartment complex was almost urgent. His hands didn't leave your body once when you reached the elevator as if he suddenly forgot what personal space was and when you got to his door he firstly slammed you against it, hands quick to get under your shirt. 

"Hey," you eyed the elevator's lights behind his back as he started to kiss your neck. "Someone's coming." "Let them come." The skin he sucked in made your eyes flutter and you whined feeling his fingers so close to where you needed them but so far away. "No, seriously. I think they're going to stop here." Doyoung hummed unbothered but you felt his hand press the code behind your back. Right when the elevator doors opened and you made eye contact with a cute little old lady, the door behind you opened too and you yelped falling backwards. Doyoung was quicker though and he held your waist, pulling you back into the kiss and closing the door with his heel. 

Shoes off and no time wasted, you were suddenly bent over some sort of furniture and your pants got pulled down. 

A single silent gasp left your mouth when you felt Doyoung's lips on the back of your thighs and when his fingertips grated at your sides pulling your panties down to your knees you started to pant. His hot breath tickled your pussy and you shifted in his hold. Doyoung's hands grabbed your ass to keep you in place and slapped one of your cheeks when he licked up a stripe between them. 

You whined once and put your head down and closed your eyes, fingers mindlessly grabbing whatever Doyoung kept on the cabinet. When he pushed his fingers inside, your back arched and his cologne fell to the side with the cap open. The sudden scent of it made you even wetter and Doyoung hummed appreciatively with his mouth full. 

"It feels so good," you whined again, imperceptibly grinding on him, brain not understanding when you got so horny all of a sudden. 

"Please please please make me cum this time," you begged, looking behind you and seeing his hands spreading you all out for him before his fingers could find spots inside of you that you weren't aware of having. 

"I kinda wish you'd beg some more," you heard the note of amusement in his voice.

His hands didn't stop though and before you could form any words your whole body contracted and lifted itself on the tiptoes, knees buckling and head light. Doyoung's airy breath met your spine and he held you in his arms to prevent you from slipping on the ground, kissing your back up slowly until meeting the shoulders. 

"Good girl," he brushed your ear with his lips and you remained with your eyes closed, breathing heavily and when he made you turn around, you felt your body weak as if it was made of jello. He pulled you towards himself and you heard his chuckle buzz inside of his chest. In a second he threw you on his shoulder and you let out a little cry, your limbs dangling around him. 

"I didn't know you were this strong."

He walked a few steps and turned left inside a dark corridor. You tried to look around but you barely noticed anything before he gently placed you down to sit on the bed. 

"You don't know a lot of things about me."

When you raised your head to meet his face you smiled tiredly. 

"I don't even know your name."

He tilted his head to the side amused. "Doyoung."

"Doyoung," you repeated, feeling the sounds on your tongue. 

It felt very right. 

Then his eyes fell on your naked legs and you sucked the air in, suddenly rolling in his bed, one piece of blanket to cover you up. 

Doyoung, still standing by the bed, put his hands on the hips and furrowed his eyebrows.

"I'm here with my pussy all out. That's so embarrassing,” you explained. 

"Yeah. I've just seen it up close just one minute ago." 

"I'm having post nut clarity," you added, voice muffled and only the top of your head poking out the impromptu burrito. 

"Well, I'm not having any post nut clarity since I didn't nut, so to me, it's not embarrassing."

"Oh my God you're right!" you eyed his crotch and sat up. 

"It's alright. I didn’t plan to do anything else anyway. Just wanted to cook you dinner actually since I’ve already eaten," he sat near you chuckling and took off his shoes. "My mom would hit me in the head if she knew I walked up to the bedroom with these-," but then he gasped softly as you placed a kiss to his nape. Your arms wrapped his torso in a back hug just as your legs did with his waist, draping them in his thighs. His hands automatically started to palm your knees as you made your way towards the base of his neck. 

“I don’t have any condoms,” he whispered as to stop you. 

Your fingers found the hem of his shirt very quickly and you lifted it, loving the way it ruffled his hair after you threw it somewhere on the floor. Having his bare back in front of you made you lose track for a moment and when you touched his chest you realized it was the first time that you actually saw him naked. 

“We don’t need them for what I want to do to you,” you murmured. 

He breathed in shakily. “Well, we’re responsible adults so you have to know that I also don’t do hookups so I’m completely clean but if you don’t want to--ah shit-,” he almost whined when you let your hand down his abs to palm his crotch slowly. 

He turned so cute all of sudden that your tummy did backflips as you kissed his jawline. 

“Are you saying that you want to fuck me raw?” you whispered amused. 

His cock twitched under his pants and he bit his lower lip.

“Does the thought turn you on, Doyoung? Feeling me around you, soft and wet until you can’t take it anymore? Huh?” You cooed, pouting your lips as you pronounced his name, savouring it on your tongue. 

His breathing increased and you wondered how he still kept it all together. 

“Cumming inside of me? Having your warm cum spill out-,”

He turned around suddenly and you let him push you down on the bed but only for a moment. The kisses you started to litter on his neck made his hold weaker and he threw his head into the pillow as you got on top of him. You kissed his chest slowly, then went down until you could finally pass your tongue on that single vein under his navel’s skin. 

"I'm so on edge that I might cum only with a single touch," he breathed out and you smiled on his stomach at his honest side, whining a little when he slid his fingers into your hair as if to urge you to go on quicker. 

"You should have told me," you sat on his thighs and slowly fumbled with his belt. 

He bit his lower lip and watched the little show you put on for him.  

"Well, now you know and you still want to torture me like this."

You lifted one corner of your mouth as you finally unbuttoned his pants. 

"I think you deserve it, don't you think?" 

He shook his head. "Not one bit. I've been good to you."

"Oh really? Then why don't you show me again what a good boy you can be and beg me to finally touch you?" 

"You really think you can use my ways with me?" 

You opened your mouth to reply but every word died in your throat as he reached down and pulled out his cock, pumping it up himself, a single shaking sigh of relief coming out of his mouth. "Shit-," he closed his eyes and pushed his head back, exposing his neck as his adam apple went up and down. You couldn't take your eyes off him and the sounds he started to make hit you right between the legs. His tip poked out of his fist as he fucked himself and for the first time in your life you were dying to suck a cock. 

"Doyoung-," you breathed out but his hisses made you gulp, feeling your mouth dry at the sudden spurts of cum on his lower stomach. 

"Shit," his chest rose and fell heavily and his eyes looked black underneath his heavy lids. Without being able to take it anymore you bent down and licked his tip sending shots of electricity through all of his body. 

"Ah- Y/N-," 

You sucked his cock clean and, letting it out with a lewd pop, you smirked.  

"Now you're going to take it."

And he took it well, cupping your head as it bobbed up and down, not without the most sinful sounds you've ever heard a man emit. As he placed his other hand on your cheek, you slid your own fingers down your stomach and reached your aching clit.

"Ride me?" he caressed your face with his thumbs and you looked up, basking in his fucked up expression. 

With a wet sound, you let his cock out, licking his tip once to break the string of saliva attached to it and moved upwards on his body. 

His hands were quick to grab your sides and when you started to grind on him he inhaled shakily, eyes piercing the way his shaft slid through your lips. Then he grabbed your shirt and roughly pulled it up, making you discard it in a second. 

One hand to guide your ass and one hand to grope at your breasts and you were almost cumming again. And when he reached behind you and you felt his cock poke at your entrance you lost strength in your arms and leaned down on his chest, your breasts squeezed and your skin rubbing on each other when he started to thrust into you. 

His hips' movements were deep and sharp and when you raised your bust enough for your nipples to rub on his chest he squeezed your ass and spanked it once making you moan loudly and fall back on him. So near to your orgasm, you dug your fingers into his arms not worrying about the little marks your nails left on his skin. 

And then he stopped with a grunt. 

You whined and opened your eyes to see him smirk.

"Fuck you, not again," you whispered breathlessly. "Yeah, fuck me."

And you bit your lower lip, lifting yourself up by putting your palms on his chest and started to bounce on his cock. Doyoung started to breathe with his mouth and he let his hands rest on his sides enjoying the way you were so desperately trying to chase your high. 

Your thighs were burning and your mind was clouded but you didn't stop and when you started to call his name, Doyoung finally grabbed your waist again, taking the lead and finally sending you over the edge. 

You finally cried out and pushed your face into the crook of his neck biting down on his skin as he kept going, not giving you a moment to breathe. 

And when you heard him choke against your ear too, a string of profanities lingering in his lips you felt his hot cum fill you up, but getting slowly fucked back in with his last thrusts. 

You remained like that both breathless for some time, his hands gently cupping your face to look at you. His eyebrows furrowed and he quickly dried your wet eyes. 

"Are you okay? Was that too much?" 

The concern in his voice made your heart swell and you shook your head. 

"I'm feeling very good," you smiled and his expression relaxed a bit. 

As he pulled out you felt his semen slide on your thigh and pool where your stomaches we're meeting. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, Doyoung. I was just getting frustrated as always when I’m around you.” 

His hands went up and down your back as if soothing your skin. “I love how my name sounds on your lips. It feels like I’ve somehow waited my whole life to hear it.” 

You blinked a few times, the sudden sweet words so weird in his mouth that you raised your head to look at him. 

He looked back as shocked as you. 

"Wow, I feel so sticky," he changed the subject as you opened your lips to talk. You eyed the little buds of sweat on his forehead and imagined you looked as spent as him. 

"Are you also having post nut clarity?" "Yes. Everything is clear." "What's clear?" "This was one of the best nuts of my life and I want to do it again."

_____

Unable to stand on your own legs without shaking you remained sprawled on Doyoung's bed for a while, eyes heavy with sleep. 

"The groceries are still in the car," he said while zipping his pants. 

He offered to take a shower together but your growling tummy interrupted him so now you were alone in the bathtub, lazily lathering up your skin and waiting for him to come back from the parking lot. 

Relaxed from the good fuck and the hot water, you looked around curious, checking out his toiletries as if they could tell you more about this mysterious Doyoung guy. 

Perhaps it was too soon but as you collected the soapy water to blow on it you felt like falling in love a little. 

A little smile crept on your lips when you heard the entrance door open and close with a thud and you looked in the mirror to check on yourself before Doyoung could barge in. As if he didn't fuck you while you were looking crazy just moments before that. 

"That was very quick-," you started but squealed and put your hands on your chest as a man entered the bathroom not looking like your Doyoung at all. 

"Oh my God!" the guy jumped back a little before starting to laugh. 

"Who are you?" 

"You scared the shit out of me. Why are you here in the dim light?" the young man kept going without answering. 

You blinked at him. "It's relaxing."

"I'm Jaemin. Doyoung's flatmate," he finally explained and you wondered why he looked at you as if knowing you. "And you must be the winery girl."

You tilted your head to the side. "Winery girl? Do you know me?" 

"I kinda go out with your friend? The other winery girl?" 

You widened your eyes. "You're the BDSM guy?" 

For the first time since he entered the bathroom, Jaemin looked flustered. 

"Exactly what did she tell you about us?" he scratched the back of his head. 

You giggled. "My friend has been very happy lately. I know enough to make sure you're treating her well."

Jaemin's eyes lit up and you thought he was so cute to have a crush on your friend. Your mind suddenly thought of Doyoung and wondered if he might have a crush on you too. 

"Think of the devil," you murmured as Doyoung appeared behind Jaemin with the groceries bags. 

"You were thinking of me?" he smiled then suddenly realized the whole situation. "Why the hell are you looking at my naked girl?" he tried to tackle the other. Jaemin chuckled and took a few steps back in the corridor. 

"Had no idea she was here, I swear!"

_____

My girl. 

You were sitting timidly at the dinner table, wearing Doyoung's clothes and looking at Jaemin's back as he prepared the food. The water running in the bathroom and Doyoung's faint singing voice made you chuckle. 

He said, my girl. 

You put your hands to your cheeks. 

"You really like him."

You jolted and raised your head to see Jaemin comforting eyes. 

Batting your lashes you wondered what kind of expression you had on and with a little note of panic, you wondered if it was that easy for Doyoung to see it too. 

"This is a secret between us," Jaemin started lowering his voice, "but I think he likes you too. You really look like his soulmate now that I think about it."

You were about to melt but his last words made you snap out of the dream. 

"His soulmate?" you questioned, suddenly very interested. 

Jaemin shook his head as if to not give him any importance but upon seeing your curious eyes he placed the lid on the pot and sat down in front of you. 

"So it was new years," he started and you gulped. He then stopped to giggle, remembering the scene as if it played in front of himself. "We were drunk as fuck. We went to like three different parties and I was wasted. I don't know if you're familiar with the place but there's a tarot reader downtown. We were bored so we decided to go there."

Your head felt suddenly very light. "And what happened?" you asked with a faint voice. 

"Oh, we made a fool out of ourselves for sure, but the woman was nice and did a reading for Doyoung. I don't remember much but I kinda remember the physical descriptions. And you scarily look like that a lot." 

You swallowed again and you felt your mouth dry. 

"And does Doyoung remember?" 

"Remember what?" 

You gasped when Doyoung appeared on your side, a towel around his neck as he used one end to dry the back of his head. 

"I was telling Y/N about the soulmate thing, you know? When the lady told you that they'd be coming around summer?" 

Doyoung's pupils trembled a little but then he turned around and headed towards the fridge. 

"Ah yeah. I don't believe any of that though," he said and poured himself a glass of water. 

You looked at his profile as he drank and then noticed Jaemin's pitiful expression. 

"I got a reading on new year's too in the exact same place," you confessed and the silence afterwards felt heavy. 

"And your soulmate was someone that looks like me?" Doyoung joked and Jaemin giggled awkwardly. 

Your heart stung very painfully but you let out a dry chuckle too. 

“I don’t believe in it either. But it was very fun,” you lied. 

“I should have done a reading too,” Jaemin commented. 

"I'm starving," Doyoung lifted the lid and his friend got closer to stir again. 

Their voices talking about ingredients felt muffled as you tried hard to swallow your stupid tears.

_____

You had no idea why you believed the soulmates story. 

Maybe you were lonely or just plain bored but the idea of having a designated person you could be with during your lifetime felt very comforting. Especially since the Lady told you to have faith. 

Doyoung seemed to fit every category and you were so insanely attracted to him that it did not make sense for him to not be your soulmate. But do soulmates appear then disappear from your life, leaving behind nothing besides your memories of them?

Maybe you should have given him your number after you left his apartment that night, but reflecting about it with a cold mind, you did well to not seek him out given his reaction to the whole soulmates discourse. 

He was definitely not your soulmate. It shouldn’t have been this hard. 

Looking at your desk you sighed at the amount of work you had to do for the day and you imagined Doyoung walking through your door just like soulmates in movies would do. Then you shook your head trying to get those intrusive thoughts out of your head. 

Enough. 

But it was so difficult, especially as your eyes kept falling on his cologne, partially hidden behind your pens. 

You grabbed it suddenly intending to throw it out. 

"Oh sorry, I made this fall," you eyed the bottle of perfume on the cabinet by the entrance as you put on your shoes. With quick hands you grabbed it but before placing the cap on, you brought it to your face and smelled it again. "It's very nice." Doyoung, seeing you out, was leaning on the wall. "Do you like it?" You nodded. "You can keep it." You hesitated, wondering if he was joking or not. "Think of me," his eyebrows wiggled amused and if you wouldn't have been so exhausted you would have begged him to take you against the same cabinet again. 

Now, eyes closed, you were thinking of him indeed as you smelled that cologne, a shy hand slowly creeping up your thigh. 

No. You weren't about to masturbate at work but the temptation was so big that you jolted as if awoken from a dream when your phone rang. 

You breathed in and out as if to calm down and picked it up. 

"Y/N speaking."

"Hi, soulmate."

His voice made you physically shiver and your heart started to beat so fast inside your ears that you were afraid Doyoung could hear it too. 

"How did you get my number?" 

"I don't have your number. This is the winery's one and I googled it."

You bit your lower lip feeling stupid. 

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Sorry, I'm a little tired."

"Have you been working a lot lately?" 

"Yes," you replied and it was true, but it wasn't work that clouded and exhausted your mind. 

"You need a pause then. Do you want me to help you relax?" 

His low and amused tone made your legs shift and you changed their position. 

"What do you have in mind?" 

"Are you alone?" 

"Yes," you almost whispered. 

"Then close your eyes for me."

You did timidly and the increase of your breath probably was a confirmation for him that you listened because he went on soon after. 

"Now touch your neck slowly with your fingertips. Go down to your clavicle then gently cup your breasts."

"This is making me shiver," you breathed out. 

"Good. I bet you're wearing a thin bralette and your perked nipples are poking through."

You sighed as you touched them and smiled at Doyoung's correct intuition.  

"Yes," you replied. 

"Can you play with them as I would if I were there?" 

You whined and bit your lower lip trying to resist the urge. 

"Doyoung-," this is a little inappropriate and honestly, kinda rude of you, especially since you went mia suddenly and now you want to pick up from where you left, you intended to say but didn’t manage to. 

"Do it," he commanded and your hand flew to your breasts and started to play with your nipples as if it didn't belong to you anymore. 

"Good girl. Does it feel good?" 

"Yes," you whispered. 

"Speak up love."

"I can't be loud."

"Oh really? Then, now slip one hand under your panties and rub your clit. I bet you're soaking wet and let's see if you'll be able to not be loud." 

His voice sounded like a hypnotic melody and you didn't even question it when you found yourself with the fingers gently pressing on your clit in little circles. Your breath got quicker and heavier, the grip on the phone was even stronger. 

"Doyoung-," 

"Yes, babe? Does it feel good?" he cooed. 

"It feels so fucking good-," 

"Can you slip a finger in for me too, love?" 

You nodded even if he couldn't see you and you did as he wished, the stretch so unsatisfying in comparison to Doyoung's girth to make you whine frustrated. 

"I- I wished you fucked me instead-," 

"Okay then," he replied calmly and for a split second, you wondered if the whole phone sex thing was not something you weren’t good at to make him reply so dryly when the door to your office opened and Doyoung took his tongue out at you. 

His sudden presence made you so flustered that you promptly pulled your fingers away as if he caught you doing it instead of being the one ordering you around. 

"What are you doing here?" you put your phone down with a shaking hand. 

He walked lazily towards your desk and put a paper bag on it. "Brought you your clothes."

You looked at them. "How did you get in? My secretary-," 

"Told him I was your boyfriend."

You felt the air stop inside your lungs at his words but you couldn't do much as Doyoung suddenly bent down with hands on the desk and took your still wet fingers into his mouth. 

You gasped softly as he sucked on them slowly, letting his tongue collect every single drop of your wetness, his deep eyes flickering with amusement at your visible lust. 

And you were so horny that you didn't even question it when he grabbed your wrists and made you stand. You took a step towards him but he pulled you by the waist and turned you around, pushing you towards the desk with his hips and pressing himself into your ass until you were bent over. 

"You look amazing like this, just like a little slut waiting for my cock, ain't I right?"  

You gasped for air as he pressed one palm on your spine and the other slowly raised your skirt. 

"You keep dressing like this at work. No wonder your secretary was so upset to hear that I was your boyfriend. Do you want us to put on a little show for him? So he knows his place." 

His fingers drawing lines up and down your clothed pussy prevented you from forming any words and when you felt your panties slip to the side and heard Doyoung's zip you inhaled aching to feel him inside. 

But he didn't touch you where you wanted him to. 

"Answer me," he slapped your ass and you curved your neck up with a hiss. 

"If you finally fuck me good enough perhaps I'll be loud enough for him to hear me."

Another slap. 

"Are you being a brat now? Should I not make you cum just like-," 

"Nonononono please please no please--" the string of begging erupted out of you way too easily and it was interrupted by Doyoung's dry laugh and hard cock finally slipping inside. 

You exhaled deeply and he grunted, bottoming out until you felt his hip bones on your ass. 

He remained still then he snapped. 

"Fuck fuck Doyoung--ah!" you cried out. 

"Louder."

Your voice would have increased in volume without him ordering that but it certainly added to the whole desk creaking and skin slapping symphony. 

One of his hands was palming your ass while the other pulled you towards him by the waist, but then he changed his mind and grabbed your arms by the elbows, pulling your torso up and making you curve your spine. 

You cried out his name again and stared at his reflection in the window in front of you. Eyebrows furrowed and a couple of strands of his hair fallen from the styled fringe made his gaze even deeper when you locked eyes. 

Then he smiled wickedly and a shiver shook your body knowing that nothing good will come out of that. And soon enough he let go of your arms and held your bust instead while the other wrapped your throat. You gasped for air and he attached his teeth to your shoulder sucking deeply and slowly, so different to the pace of his quick hips. 

Your desk phone rang and Doyoung held you harder as an indication to not even think about it. Not that you even cared about besides the way his cock was stretching you all out. 

The string of your choked moans just increased their tempo until you shuddered in his arms with a cry, so hard and so suddenly that his hips stopped and he let go of your throat in a second, holding your body and breathing deeply with you until you didn't whine anymore. 

A kiss on the cheek then on the neck and you turned your head around, searching for his lips. 

Your phone rang again and he smiled. 

"Answer."

"But you're still-," 

He grabbed the phone, placing it to your ear and you had nothing else to do than breathe heavily and greet with a shaking and hoarse voice. 

You understood the first three words of the person talking on the other side before Doyoung pushed you on the desk again and started to thrust into you, this time seeking his own high. 

You gritted your teeth and rotated your torso to be able to place your palm on his stomach and push your nail into his shirt. 

The look in your eyes just made him even more amused. 

“Yes, yes, no, could you please repeat that?” 

And even if the voice on the other line kindly repeated itself, your eyes rolled inside of your head and your body moved back and forth on the desk making you not understand a single thing. 

It was so highly unprofessional and inappropriate that it made your blood boil with pleasure. You hung up, making a mental note to call back and use the ‘line went dead’ excuse. 

Doyoung didn’t like that independence a single bit and he made sure to show you as you suddenly found yourself standing, no cock to stretch you out anymore and his hands on your waist turning your around. 

“On your knees.” 

You slipped down in front of him with hands on his stomach then you let them fall on his soft suit pants. 

The veins on his hand were popping when he grabbed his cock and lightly hit your lips with its tip. You let out your tongue and let it bounce on it, leaning in to be able to catch in between your lips. 

Doyoung tutted and took half a step back making your suck on air. 

“When and how I say so,” he murmured and got closer again. 

His other hand grabbed your head and kept you in place, fully controlling the way he pushed his shaft between your lips, slowly smearing his precum on them. 

“I really want to let my cum slide down your throat right now.” 

You opened your mouth eagerly and he smiled wickedly. 

It reached the back of your throat in one go and you gagged, pressing your nails into his thighs. Heavy on your tongue, you couldn’t move so it was Doyoung to slowly thrust his hips, increasing his movements until you started to drool. 

“Fuck, you’re so good-,” 

Short-breathed and fingers tightening in your hair you could feel him reaching his orgasm soon. 

You lifted your gaze up and when he pulled out to make your breath you cupped his balls with one hand and took him inside of your mouth again. 

He choked and started to grunt, meeting your movements with his erratic ones until he went suddenly still and you whined feeling his cum hit the back of your throat. 

You swallowed quickly making him hiss as he thrust a couple of times more and he pulled out slowly, a string of saliva and his seed to connect your tongue to his tip. 

“You’re amazing. You know that?” he whispered with a raspy voice. His fingers caressed your cheeks and lips as you looked up at him panting.

_____

“Do you want me to hit him with my car?” 

Knowing him, it wasn’t a joke so you lightly hit his thigh. “Jeno!”

He chuckled. 

Meeting your soulmate - it should have been electrical, like two magnets meeting each other. 

The first moment you saw his shoulders, you knew it was him. Before you even saw his face and learned his name, you sighed in relief. Finally, you’ve found him and you were at home. 

Then why was it so difficult to just be with Doyoung?

He fucked you good and kissed your lips. He made sure you were okay after fucking your throat and even massaged your feet as you tried to catch your breath on the couch inside your office. 

“Can you please bring us, like, something to drink and some snacks?” Doyoung opened the door and talked to a very mortified secretary. 

“Sure,” he suddenly got up and looked around as if not knowing which planet he was on.

“Why are you torturing that poor boy?” you rolled your eyes when Doyoung plopped back on the couch near him. “Now he’ll want to resign from the job and he was quite good at it.” 

“I think he liked it. I know a post nut face when I see one and he definitely had some fun under that desk.” 

The secretary entered the office and his lips were tight as he placed the tray with coffee on the little table in front of you. 

“Thank you,” you smiled kindly at him. 

“No sugar for you ma’am and one sugar for you sir,” he announced before leaving as quickly as he came in. 

You leaned in and took your mug, sighing when you felt it’s warmth heat your skin.

“How did he know I take my coffee with one sugar?” Doyoung furrowed his eyebrows while doing the same. 

You looked at him and shrugged. “I told you he’s good at his job.”  

And you were thankful that the boy didn’t leave because now as you talked to Jeno in your office, weeks after you’ve seen Doyoung in there, you really needed someone to do your job. 

“I’m just not even concentrating much. I think I caught feelings for him while he only saw this as-- fucking,” you threw your hands in the air once and sighed, sitting down at your desk. 

Jeno hummed pensively. “Well, he strikes me as someone too romantic for that. People who just hookup don’t behave as he does. They just fuck and leave.” 

You rubbed the bridge of your nose. “I just think he was being considerate. You can’t fuck someone’s mouth then leave them there like that.” 

Jeno hummed again. “But he did call you my girl and he called himself your boyfriend.” 

You looked up. “My girl as the girl that I fuck and my boyfriend only to make the secretary let him in.”

Your friend pursed his lips as if considering that side of events. 

“How do you even know all of these details? I don’t remember telling you any of this before,” you chuckled. 

Jeno cleared his voice. “You told me. Are you having a loss of memory too now?” 

You sighed. “Maybe.” 

The young boy cleared his voice again. “Anyway! Plan. Send him nudes.” 

“What?” you exclaimed. 

You could go around your sweet friend Jeno suggesting you to fuck Doyoung when he was the Rabbit boy but suggesting you to send the dude nudes? 

Seeing his pink cheeks Jeno must have suddenly realized what he has just said too and regretted it. 

“Trust me. He’s an air sign. They like sexting and mind fucking and all of that stuff. Now I have to go.”

You looked at him standing up. “Since when are you into astrology? Also, where are you going? We were supposed to have lunch together!” 

“Sext him and send him a good coochie pic. Bye, love you,” he left like the wind and you leaned back in your chair perplexed.

_____

"Do you trust me?" 

"Yeah," his voice was a whisper and it got engulfed by the jingle of handcuffs in your hands. 

You were so beautiful and intoxicating that Doyoung found himself having difficulties breathing when you slowly started to crawl on the bed towards him. 

“I’m glad you wore the lingerie I sent you,” he whispered, hands reaching towards you to feel the material under his fingertips. But you grabbed them with a sudden force and Doyoung groaned, finding himself pinned to the bed instead.  

“No touching,” you purred. 

The young man sighed, feeling his cock twitching on his lower stomach. 

You eyed it and smiled like a cat. “You want me to touch you, babe?” 

Doyoung nodded. “Please?” 

You licked your lips and leaned down, your lips so close to his cock to make him audible whine. A little bit. A little bit more and he would feel-

And then he woke up shaking in his bed. 

“Shit.” Doyoung closed his eyes again, rolling on his back with a certain difficulty. 

His cock was so hard that it was almost painful and he felt short-breathed. 

He looked at his ceiling again and he blinked twice when he realized by the hue of it that his phone lit up. 

With a groan he extended his arm to the side and grabbed it, narrowing his eyes at the bright screen. 

Then he choked and sat up.

“Fuck!” Doyoung exclaimed upon seeing his phone turn dark in his hands. 

With a quick roll of the body, he put his palms on the ground looking for his charger. It took him some other swears and grunts to finally charge it but the phone remained black.

“What the fuck,” he sighed, hitting his head into the pillow.

_____

It was in the way you walked, the way your feet touched the floor. 

Or maybe it was the way the air floated between your fingers when you moved your wrists as if grabbing something in Doyoung’s chest and pulling him towards you. 

The line of your back extended up until your neck, the line of your jaw, your cheeks puffing up when you laughed and your eyes closing for a second. The sound of it making his heart beat faster and a little smile creeping on his lips although he was in a very bad mood that day. 

The people you were talking to stopped looking at you and stared somewhere behind your back instead. 

Mouth still open while explaining to them that blue and red looked disgusting together, you turned around to see what caught their attention and you met Doyoung’s face. 

Your breath hitched and you had to swallow a few times before being able to speak. 

“Hey,” you straightened your back as he approached you. 

“It’s time for a lunch break,” he announced without batting an eye. 

You blinked a few times, trying to process his presence there all of a sudden. 

“You’re dismissed,” he spoke to the creative team and they obeyed him, walking away slowly and chuckling between themselves. 

You waited for them to not eavesdrop and huffed before whispering. “Who do you think you are?” 

“Your soulmate.” 

He slipped his hand in yours and started to walk towards the exit. You let yourself be dragged amused for the first steps then stopped. 

“My bag.” 

Doyoung rolled his eyes and raised his other hand that was already holding it. 

“Come on. I’m starving.” 

“Where are we going?” you asked the back of his head as you were already descending the stairs. “Why are you here?” 

“I’m annoyed,” he replied as if that was a sufficient explanation and opened the passenger seat’s door for you. "So I wanted to see you because it puts me in a good mood."

You looked at him for a few moments then sighed, trying to conceal your flustered emotions. 

“Why are you annoyed? Because you realized that leaving me on read last night was stupid?” you put on your seatbelt. 

When you raised your head Doyoung’s palms were on both sides of your face and his lips on yours. You exhaled softly, not expecting any of it so suddenly, then timidly you rested your hand on his knee. The luscious material of his suit was delicate under your fingertips so you absentmindedly started to draw little circles on it, imitating the pattern Doyoung’s tongue was making yours dance in. When he pulled away slightly you managed to look at his eyes. He placed another peck on your lips, then another. By the time he placed the third one you were giggling. The corners of his mouth raised too and you cupped his face and he flinched imperceptibly. 

“I thought you wanted to slap me.” 

“There are many reasons why I would want to slap you but not today.” 

“Not today.” 

“Be ready anytime.” 

“You too,” he kissed your knuckles before putting his hands on the wheel. “But like on the butt.”

The engire roared as Doyoung turned the keys. 

“My phone died,” he explained. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

“I swear.”

The engine roared again and you drove away from the winery's parking lot. 

You sighed, crossing your arms on your chest. 

“It’s okay. Only because you’re sweet.”  

"Am I sweet?" 

"You are." 

"You're sweet too so I can't wait to eat you out again."

You rolled your eyes playfully. "Okay, you went there." 

But he didn't do anything you'd expect him to do. Entering his apartment calmly, you both let the shoes at the entrance and you sighed to feel his soft living room rug under your bare feet. 

No bending, no pushing and no hands to knead your flesh. 

You tilted your head to the side amused as he placed your bag on the couch and ventured towards the kitchen. 

"Is Jaemin home?" you inquired. Maybe that was the reason he didn't want to rearrange your guts that day. 

Doyoung took away his jacket and slowly rolled up his sleeves. Your eyes followed his movements and although you weren't horny one bit before you saw him, now you would have been able to go on for multiple rounds with no rest in between upon seeing just his forearms. You took away your jacket too and expected him to do something already but he turned around and entered the kitchen instead. 

"I'm making spaghetti."

You blinked at his profile as he retrieved a pan and a pot, filling the latter with water. 

"Did you really bring me here for lunch?" you couldn't help but ask as you sat down at the table. 

"Yeah. Why? Is that strange?" 

You shrugged. "I don't know. You've always sought me for other things."

He faked an offended expression. "I fed you dinner last time."

You smiled. "But you also fucked me."

"You want me to fuck you after spaghetti?" 

"Not necessarily. I like just hanging out with you, but only you like it as well."

As if sensing something in your tone, his amusement wore off when he finally started to cut the onions. 

"Of course. Why wouldn't I like it?" 

"I mean, we've never really openly discussed this," you gestured between you. "Hell, I fucked you three times before knowing your name."

"You've never asked for it."

"Yeah, well, my mouth was busy doing something else." 

He smiled a little and let the onions fall into the hot pan, stirring a few times and opening the fridge to retrieve the tomato sauce. 

"How do you want to discuss it?" 

His voice got quieter and you had the hunch that he really didn't like having serious talks or emotional ones. Just like, well, just like your supposed soulmate. The thought made your stomach knot up. 

"I know this might sound a little funny, but like, what are we?" 

Doyoung added the tomato sauce and sprinkled salt, pepper and hot pepper flakes on it before stirring. His domestic look made your chest hurt in ways you've never experienced with him before and suddenly you were afraid to know what he had to say. 

"I don't know, but we can be something starting now."

You sighed a little. "Like, friends with benefits?" 

Doyoung's expression didn't change but his throat moved as he swallowed. The water started to boil and he put the spaghetti in, pushing them inside as they softened. 

"You want us to be friends with benefits?" 

No. 

Yes. 

But like no. 

You wanted the friends, you wanted the benefits, but you wanted more. 

Would you scare him away if you said that? Would he retreat just like he did when you mentioned the soulmates discourse? 

"What about you?"

Dancing around each other like two assassins about to throw the first dagger you let the silence be the witness of it. 

"I like you," he hit you first but it was no knife. It was light just like a kiss and your eyelids fluttered. 

"Really?" 

He let out a single soft chuckle. "Yeah. Why are you so surprised?" 

You gulped and looked around not knowing what to say. 

"It's just-- your whole soulmate discourse made it look like you wouldn't be romantically interested in me at all."

Doyoung didn’t speak for a moment as if trying to remember, then nodded. 

"I don't believe in soulmates." 

He placed the lid on the sauce and let it slowly cook. 

"I believe in choices. And I'm choosing you I guess."

"Don't you think that maybe you're conditioned to choose me because I'm your soulmate?" you tried to joke but Doyoung didn't smile. 

"And where would the fun be in that? My freedom? I think the universe might give you a path but you're free to follow it or not."

"Of course. But isn't it comforting to know that the universe is taking care of you that way?" 

"Maybe. Perhaps we're actually soulmates and we've met like ones but now it's our duty to do something about it. I can decide not to see you anymore. What's the universe going to do about it?" 

"Make me get into your way and annoy you?" you smiled and his lips curved too.  

"What I'm trying to say is that I think we're making our soulmates. I decide that you're my soulmate and we mould ourselves to fit each other. No one is a perfect fit."

You didn't know what to say. 

"I tried all of this time you know? I actively sought you out and maybe to you it was fate but we wouldn't be here if I didn't come to you. But you've just been waiting."

His words stung your heart and it felt like a scold. 

"I just--it's not like I don't care. I also like you. A lot. I was just--hoping for it to be soulmate like, you know? Maybe that was childish of me." 

"What did the Lady tell you? As your last words?" 

"To have faith."

"Me too. But to me, faith is putting in the effort and believing in good results. Not waiting for stuff to happen."

"I guess you're right."

"Would you have let me go if you didn't think I was the soulmate you were looking for?" 

You blinked a few times unable to speak. 

Yeah. 

You would have and the sudden realization felt so scary that your spine started to shiver. 

He has been speaking without looking at you and at your silence, he turned his head towards you. When he noticed your glossy eyes he let the pan go and walked towards you.

"Why? No. Why are you crying?" he kneeled in front of you, talking with a soft voice and he placed his hands on your shoulders. 

You shook your head shocked to see a few drops on your thighs and quickly patted your cheeks dry. Then you let out a timid laugh. 

"I don't know what happened. I got emotional all of a sudden. It's fine."

Doyoung sighed and nibbled at his lower lip. 

"What I'm trying to say is, even if someone came to me now and told me that you're not my soulmate and they are instead, I would not care. I'm still choosing whoever I want and that's you."

You felt your chin shake by itself and hated the fact that you wore your emotions on your sleeve like that. 

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" 

You shrugged. "I don't know. I feel like I fucked up something." 

Doyoung waited, his fingers gently running your arms. 

"I would have probably made the mistake of letting you go-," you sobbed, "and at first since things have been so weird and not necessarily easy I didn’t try enough-," 

His eyes softened and he pulled you into a hug. 

"You're here now. Why are you worrying about things that could have happened?" 

You wrapped his neck and hid your face into his shirt. His familiar scent culled you and you bathed in his warmth. 

"I feel like I'm very childish right now and the lady told me that my soulmate liked me for being a boss woman-," 

"I like all of our sides, you fool," he pulled you away and kissed your forehead. 

"But you’d like me more if I tied you up." "You’d also like me more if I tied you up." "I actually like it when you're subby." "See? And the lady told me that you liked me being dominant." "I do love it when you're dominant," you timidly circled his chest with your finger. "Hm, maybe I should-," 

"The pasta!" you yelled pointing your finger and Doyoung jolted turning around towards the stove. 

The pasta was completely fine and he sighed closing his eyes. 

"I thought it was on fire," he complained with a whiny tone as he turned the stove off. Quickly he drained the spaghetti and threw it in the tomato sauce stirring it afterwards. With the corner of his eye, he saw you stand. 

"Come here."

You giggled and took a few quick steps back. 

His eyes were furious and paired with his smiling expression he looked like a tornado. 

"Come here," he repeated. 

You shook your head. 

"I said-," he managed to grab you and throw you on his shoulder, "-come here."

"Fuck!" you squealed. "Yeah, fuck, that's exactly what I'm going to do to you now."

One second you were standing and the other you were lying down on the couch with the most aggressive Doyoung you’ve ever seen attached to your neck. 

The whines came quickly as he sucked your skin inside the mouth, not worrying for a second if it might become sore. As you grabbed his belt his iron fingers clasped your wrists together and you found yourself pinned with your arms above your head. Your chest rose and fell fast looking at his dark eyes under the unstyled fringe. 

“Be a good girl and perhaps I’ll think about making you cum,” he whispered through his teeth. You squirmed under him and found yourself breathless. 

“Did you hear me?” his other hand fell back the exact moment he bit down on your clothed nipple. 

“Are you not wearing a bra?” 

You giggled. “I manifested you coming to see me today. And you did.” 

His eyes were dark as they analyzed you and for an instance, you thought he’d burst into tears. 

But then he reached the hem of your blouse and lifted it up in a second, biting your nipple, letting his tongue circle it afterwards, soothing the sudden sweet pain then biting on it again, stretching it out, sucking on it, giving the same treatment to the other one. His fingers intertwined yours when he felt your wrists try to lift up from the couch and he pushed them down even harder than before. 

“Do I have to tie you all up? Huh? I bet you’d like it, right?” 

His breath was hot on your lips and so was his tongue when he took it out and slowly outlined them with his wet tip. You opened your mouth and took out your tongue too with a little moan, trying to catch him into a kiss, but he chuckled lightly and let you feel the air instead. Another whine as you lifted your head to reach him but he was quick to push you down by pressing his fingers on your throat. You choked lightly and he pouted. 

“Bad baby girls don’t get to kiss,” he murmured. "But if you really want it-" he pressed one finger on your lower lip and opened your mouth. Y

our thighs tightened their hold around his waist and you pulled him towards you even more. The trail of saliva falling on your tongue from his mouth added somehow to the wetness between your legs. 

You wanted to be a good girl. You wanted to be a good girl so badly, pleasing him and letting him whatever he wanted to you. 

Swallowing slowly, you opened your mouth for more and he finally shoved his tongue inside, kissing you deeply, grunting as he let your hands go and you were quick to let them slide under his shirt. 

His skin was hot and your fingers icy cold. He hissed when you circled his nipples and bit your lip. 

"Maybe you should warm your hands by doing something useful." He took his cock out and-

"Okay, that's enough!" Jeno threw a cloth on the crystal ball. 

"Ah! Come on! I was having so much fun," the Lady complained, jingling her earrings as she giggled. 

The boy sitting across the table made a throwing up sound. "Also, why are you still looking like that? It's creeping me out," he commented. 

The Lady looked at the mirror on her right and chuckled again. 

"I like it when Haechannie is like this," Jaemin appeared from behind him and playfully kissed his cheek. 

Jeno made another gag sound. "Gross."

Haechan shook his head and as the boys blinked he was back to his boyish looks. "I'll never get used to this," Jaemin murmured as he was not holding long hair anymore. 

"Good job guys. We did it again," Haechan stood up and yawned, lifting his arms in a satisfying stretch. "If Jaemin didn't get back home that time she was over then it might have been quicker," Jeno lifted his legs on the table and leaned down on the chair. 

“This is my first job! It was very tough for me actually,” Jaemin complained. 

“Hard for you? I had to be myself, the winery girl, the secretary-,” he counted on his fingers. 

“I had to be the cashier and I almost lost it when Jaemin said he couldn’t wait to taste your wet pussy-,” Haechan threw his head back and laughed. Jaemin imitated him soon after.

“Did you see Doyoung’s face? He wasn’t into it at all.” 

"I miss being a Gryffindor. This universe is boring as fuck,” Jeno rolled his eyes even if he was also smiling a little. 

"The next one might be as boring as this my dear friends," Haechan sat back down and brought out his book. 

Jeno groaned. "Can't we have a normal life for once? I had to pretend I was a girl. And not only. The thought of Y/N thinking I was doing BDSM stuff with that guy-," he indicated a very amused Jaemin, "-took a toll on my health." 

"I'm sorry I'm not a shapeshifter too. I would have loved to be the girl in this relationship. Also, it was you that told her we were doing BDSM stuff, not me.”

“It’s because I forgot to fully shift my arms! She thought I was-,”

"Quiet."

As Haechan spoke the guys immediately stopped talking and Jeno put his feet down. 

"The next one is going to be a hard one. We're going to a dark place."

He closed the book.

"To hell, boys."

#doyoung #doyoung smut #doyoung fluff #doyoung angst #doyoung imagines #doyoung scenarios #doyoung fanfiction #nct #nct smut #nct fluff #nct angst #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct fanfiction #my soulmate loves wine #jeno #jaemin

[lululawrence]

hello!! i was wondering if u had a werewolf tag for fics? i would search it but not sure how to use tumblr that well :)) if not do u have recs? LOVE U HAVE A NICE DAY<333

hi babes! i don't have one here... damn that's a fucking great idea. hahaha i'm HORRIBLY unorganized when it comes to tags for fics on tumblr. i mostly use ao3 for the organization of fics. so! that said, i defo DO have recs for you!

you didn't specify pairing, which makes me smile because i get to rec rare pairs in addition to larry and hope you read them hehe okay, here we go!

He Carries The Key by me (8k, NR, niall/louis) - this fic is the only one of mine i'll include, okay? promise haha but it is also one i wrote for wordplay just a week or two ago and it's werewolves and a pack fic and i just had a lot of fun. very soft. much fluff. many feels. i hope you enjoy. lol

There's Fur Everywhere by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (4k, G, Harry/Louis) - this is a 5 times fic, and it's HYSTERICAL. it feels slightly spoilery for me to even be including it on this list, but also... it's still fucking hilarious. emmu is queen of the crack fic that makes you feel all the soft and wonderful things, and she doesn't disappoint with this one.

I Hear Them Calling for You by @jaerie / jaerie (6k, E, Harry/Louis) - this fic is... not for everyone. like at all. please please please read the tags and the summary and if you don't like it or it makes you uncomfortable, then close right out of it. as for ME i loved what she explored with it, all the emotions and the story and worldbuilding of it all. i thought it was fantastic and incredibly interesting. it is A/B/O, pack fic with claiming and... yeah. it's amazing.

Campus Creatures by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything and @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld (25k, E, Harry/Louis) - werewolves! vampires! fae! university! frat houses! science research positions being vied for! enemies to lovers! like... not sure what more you could ASK for, but there's also a fuck ton of humor and nudity and sexual tension and... it's just a lot of fun. can't go wrong, really. haha

From What I've Tasted of Desire by @evilovesyou / 4ureyesonly28 (72k, T, Harry/Louis) - okay so i'm including this one even though like... harry and louis aren't werewolves. but it's a twilight au, so there ARE werewolves and i'm ASSUMING you know twilight and therefore know that means you know they're pretty involved and... that's true for this fic too. ahha for real, though, i love evi's writing and this fic was one of my first introductions to it and it was a fun read, so i wanted to include it in case it had enough of the werewolf flair to entice you haha

Compete Against the Stars by @daggerandrose / amomentoflove (31k, M, Harry/Louis) - omg okay so this one is like ANGSTY AF and i FUCKING LOVE IT because it's one of those fics that you HOPE you have figured out, and you probably do, but also there's SO many twists and turns to it all that you just have NO idea how it's all gonna work out and omg are they gonna just ruin it all for themselves by being stupid and ahhhhh the tension of just FIGURING OUT HOW THEY GET IT ALL TO WORK OUT!!! and of course it does. hahaha but HOW??? this is a RIDE and in my mind feels like a longer fic than 31k in the best of ways, they did an amazing job of packing a LOT of world building and storytelling into those 31k.

the straight for your heart (wolfpack au) series by foreverkneeld and foundfamilyvevo (96k, T/G, Multiple or No pairings including Niall/Louis, Zayn/Liam, OT5, and Shawn/Niall) - This series is the ultimate hurt/comfort and healing pack fic series omg. it was recommended to me when i was in a super hard time and my anxiety was so bad i couldn't focus on anything. These short fics that all focused so much on healing and found family were exactly what i needed. so so soft, so lovely. I still haven't read them all because i'm saving them for when i need them. they're glorious.

when the air ran out and we both started running wild by darlingjustdont (48k, M, Nick/Louis) - OMG OKAY LISTEN THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVS. a tomlinshaw werewolf pack fic?! ahhhhhhhhh i was SO happy when i discovered this one. louis is alpha of the pack and things are... shaky, shall we say. there's a lot going on that he's worried about and then he meets nick and it's kind of enemies to lovers? okay, more than kind of. but omg the FEELS. SO. MANY. FEELS. but also danger and a;lsdgkhas;ldfkja just please read this and rave with me because i don't have many i can talk about this one with and i LOVE IT.

You Smell Like by mystic_believexx (185k, M, Harry/Louis) - i had no idea this fic was so long hahahaha wow ANYWAY louis is human, but he's always been close with harry and therefore basically a part of his pack. but then one day harry leaves and louis kind of accidentally becomes the pack alpha. even though he's human. but there's SO much more to it. there's just sooooo much with the friendship and the pack bond as well as the danger and trying to figure out what the hell is going on... it's just a LOT and one of those epic fics that i still think about even though i read it...a year and a half ago i guess. but it's amazing and i highly recommend it if the word count doesn't scare you away haha

Canyon Moon by @eeveelou / delsicle (41k, E, Harry/Louis) - this is a lion king au, made a/b/o werewolves! i really enjoyed this one a lot, actually, because i could absolutely see the parallels, but also the way it was adapted made it so it wasn't always obvious how it would all play out. it was a really interesting and cool world building as well.

The Truth I Can't Explain (Smoke and Mirrors) by @fallinglikethis / FallingLikeThis (9k, M, Harry/Louis) - ohhhhh this one is SO cool cause it's by tabby so she made it incredibly fun and fascinating to try to figure out. there's magic and mages and werewolves and feuds and they're basically on the eve of battle and holy cow it's just SO cool.

One Touch Is Never Enough by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (4k, E, Harry/Louis) - once again lauren delivers and there's just so much i keep giggling about with this because it is SO fun. there's a lot that louis is dealing with in this fic hahaha and the way she writes it all is so funny. the poor man just wants a fucking massage! lololol it's lighthearted, humorous, and basically filled with fluff, crack, and smut. hahaha

Knot Safe For Work by @jaerie / jaerie (6k, E, Harry/Louis) - a;sldkgha;lfdkjas listen i forgot about this fic until i found it in my bookmarks for werewolves because jenna writes so many fucking amazing fics that when i think of werewolves, i think of at least two others first, but i could NOT do this rec without this fic because now that i remember it exists i am going to have to go and read it again! hahaha harry's a werewolf, louis is a wizard, there's knotting dildos and table sex and... just read it. lolol

Saving's What I Need by @jaerie / jaerie (17k, M, Harry/Louis) - writer louis is out for a drive one day and he hits a dog. THIS POOR DOG! he takes it to the vet and tries his best to take care of it... but things are not as they seem. because yeah, harry is defo not a dog. lollllll this fic was hilarious and sweet and omg there's just so much to love about it. there were so many more emotions in it than i expected. loooove!

Out of the Wild by @jaerie / jaerie (22k, E, Harry/Louis) - this fic has such fun world building, which is actually a huge strength of jenna's fics and you'll hear me rave about it with all 50 of her fics that will end up on this rec list (not really 50, but ya know lol). louis is a fairly wild and undomesticated wolf and harry's from the city and they end up as roommates during the x factor process. oh my word this fic is so fun because of all the challenges they're going through PLUS the wolf side of things and just... the way they work together and navigate it all as well as falling for each other is pure gold.

Out With The Old, In With The New by, you guessed it, @jaerie / jaerie (7k, E, Harry/Louis) - listen, just. this one is smutty as hell and it's gonna take you some places that some people will be uncomfortable with, which is totally valid and fair. please be sure to read the tags and make your decision on whether or not to read accordingly, but also know that its written in a super interesting way that is also pretty amazing if you do decide to give it a shot. lol

Instincts by @marastarfar / StarFar ( 100k so far - it's a WIP!, T, Harry/Louis) - omg listen. i LOVE mara's fics so much and when this first posted it was a one shot little thing that was FASCINATING. i loved it! and then i was happily surprised when i learned more was added to it. and then it was turned into a wip and omg i am so far behind now but i trust mara with my life because i love everything i've read by them and what i've read of this so far is INCREDIBLE so just. yeah. lollll

There's a Power in What You Do by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (7k, T, Harry/Louis) - i just read my comment i left on this one and it was just mainly me begging for time stamps because there wasn't any way for her to improve upon the perfection of this fic (nesting! softness! even a silly comment in her endnotes to perfectly cap it all!), but i still wanted to remain in the story just a bit longer and learn more about them. hahaha anyway, those time stamps aren't happening, but this fic is still complete perfection.

amaryllis by @hattalove / hattalove (147k, E, Harry/Louis) - for a long time this was thought of as THE werewolf fic. if anyone was talking about a werewolf fic, it was probably this one. is that still the case? probably. i'm not sure. ANYWAY. there's a REASON it was THE werewolf fic and that's because this is amazing. it sucks you in and you feel like you're truly a part of the action. it's filled with the vibe of found family and wanting to figure out what happened while also adjusting to your new life and just... so many feelings. so much angst. SO fantastically epic.

#fic rec #my fic rec #werewolves #werewolves fic rec #love me a good werewolf fic mmhmm #i think i'm missing some of my favs #at least one by jenna #cause it might be tagged shifters instead of werewolves #i guess those are slightly different huh #anyway #i'll leave it here

[akyrin]

SBI Fic Recs

You'll be Okay Kiddo by StayGoldFics Gen/Ongoing/43k - Hurt/Comfort, Selectively Mute Technoblade and Wilbur, On the run, Homeless Technoblade, Wilbur and Tommy

Summary: After Running away two years ago from yet another crappy home Wilbur, Techno and Tommy find themselves on the streets with no where to go. But hey, at least they have each other.

^ Phil finds a bunch of mute, on-the-run-from-the-foster-system-AND-the-police children in his shed and decides to adopt them. Wilbur, Techno and Tommy trust exactly none of it but Phil keeps proving himself. Basically Phil accepting and being unconditionally loving to three boys who have known nothing but pain for a long time. I love Phil's character in this. He never demands answers from any of them, just offers them a home unconditionally, even with the threat of police. And the boys want nothing more than to accept his kindness and safety but they're just too scared to do so.

One Man's Trash by SilverWing15 T/Ongoing/14k - Superheroes AU, SBI as Villains (they are soft for Tommy though), Hurt/Comfort, Homeless Tommy

Summary: The kid is glaring down at him and eating a partially moldy apple like he’s daring Wilbur to come fight him for it.

“What the fuck?” Wilbur says.

The kid takes a huge chunk out of the apple and definitely doesn't chew it enough before he swallows.

“You got a fucking problem, asshole?”

“I mean...kind of?” Wilbur says.

“There’s a child eating literal garbage in front of me so I feel like that’s a bit concerning.”

“Shouldn’t you be robbing a bank or getting your ass kicked by superheroes?”

“Shouldn’t you be in school?”

The kid snarls wordlessly and chucks an empty carton from some chinese place at him.

“Fuck off man. Forget this dump.”

“What, you know a better one to eat from?”

“I know one that doesn’t have a fucking weirdo supervillain in it!”

The kid slams the lid of the dumpster down.

Rude.

^My current obsession. Focuses on the relationship between Tommy and Wilbur and it's written extremely well. Wilbur is a supervillain who stumbles upon a homeless Tommy and decides to take him in as much as he can. Tommy has extreme trust issues but he's also starved for both touch and affection. Similarly to You'll Be Okay Kiddo, this one has so much yearning. Tommy wants nothing more than to reach out for the warmth Wilbur is offering, but he has been burned too many times. Wilbur wants nothing more than to bundle Tommy up in fluffy blankets, but he knows that one wrong move will send Tommy running (updates daily). Guitar Strings and Keyrings are What it Takes to Build a Home by Anonymous Gen/Completed/63k - Adoption AU, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with Happy Ending Summary: Techno was adopted by Phil when he was 12 years old. He'd been enjoying his morning before Phil came to him asking if he would mind them taking in another kid. Against his better judgement, Techno agrees and ends up with two new foster brothers who he was determined to not get attached to, no matter what.

^Tommy is due to be fostered by Phil and his adopted son Techno, but he refuses to leave the orphanage without his brother Wilbur. Phil decides to take them both. Tommy and Wilbur are terrified, Techno is insecure, they work it out. Love the relationship progression and how the building trust between Techno and the others is written. Responsible Forever by SilverWing15 Gen/Completed/17k - semi-adoption, Raccoon Innit, Hurt/Comfort, Feral Child TommyInnit

Summary: “You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”

“So,” Techoblade says, slow and deliberate, his face shows clearly just how unbelievable he finds all of this, “you saw a boy last night, in the middle of the night, living with raccoons and eating our garbage?”

“I know how insane it sounds,” Phil says, “but I know what I saw. We need to help him, who knows how long he’s been out here?”

“Okay,” Wilbur interrupts, ���let’s say that raccoon-boy is real. What is it you want us to do? We can’t go searching the woods for specific bunch of raccoons, I don’t know if you’ve noticed Phil but there are a lot of them out there.”

“Going out and hunting him isn’t going to get us anywhere,” Techno says, “we have to let the raccoon-boy come to us. He’s already come once, you know how tenacious raccoons are. If they came to the garbage pit once, they’ll come again. We just have to set a trap.”

“Those raccoons aren’t gonna know what fucking hit them,” Wilbur mutters.

^ Beautifully written fic about Phil and co trying to resocialise a quite literal feral raccoon child. Tommy is scared but painfully slowly learns to trust his new family. The way Tommy is so painfully hesitant but still yearns for the idea of family is both heartbreaking and incredible to read. I'd forgotten people are kind by BialyLis Gen/Ongoing/95k - Adoption AU, Foster Care, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse

Summary: "Wilbur did not look like a "difficult" child. Honestly, he looked like a child struggling to reach his next birthday on his own. In an oversized, faded sweater, with bruises on his forearms, and a still unhealed, split lip, he definitely didn't resemble the little terrorist Phil had carefully guarded all sharp objects from. More like a victim of a natural disaster. As if he had spent hours on the roof escaping a flood, only to be carried away by a tornado. But burying the knives was still a good idea. The kid seemed to trip over while making a sandwich."

^ Phil struggling through the uneasy process of becoming a dad to Wilbur and Techno, who have both been hurt too much for them to trust easily. Still updating hey, hi, hello by ph1sh T/Ongoing/13k - High School/College, Teacher Phil Watson, Students Wilbur, Techno and Tommy, Family Dynamic

Summary: Phil knows he isn't the first teacher to have hopes of changing kids' lives for the better, and he won't be the last. But Oakwood High seems to want to crush those hopes. He's a first year teacher still working on his college degree, he doesn't know how he planned on helping three students when he can barely help himself. or It's Phil's first year teaching and he gets stuck with detention duty. It just so happens that Tommy, Wilbur, and Techno can't stay out of detention. ^ Phil helping the "problem" children that lesser people have already gave up on. I love the way Phil (and the reader) slowly uncovers the backstory of Wilbur, Techno and Tommy. Still ongoing but a lovely read so far.

Change fate by being aggressively kind - or any other fic by sircantus

T/Ongoing/78k - AU - Magic, Phil Being the Best Dad Ever - The Fic, Protective Phil

Summary: “You do understand that you’re caring for the thing meant to bring destruction and chaos to our world, right?” The woman asks, Phil looking behind him fondly as Techno grabs at the ends of his wings. “He’s just a child.” Phil answers distractedly, humming as his wings get gently yanked at. “He’s the first of three to destroy life as we know it! Shouldn’t we, well, get rid of him?!” “Oh, no.” Phil raises his eyes with a sharp glare. “Believe me, I have my own way of preventing the apocalypse.” Or, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are basically chaotic forces of nature, destined from birth to end the world and bring destruction. Most who hear of the tale of them are trying their best to track them down, and to end the monsters while they’re still young, still just children. Phil has a different plan. (In which Phil raises the minecraft equivalents of the anti-christ with love and support, so much so to the point where the world ending is really just a funny thought, and Phil has three kids who casually have powers that are bit more extreme than anything else in the world) I think this one speaks for itself. Sircantus is always top notch. If you haven't read this one yet, do it.

#SBI #sleepy bois inc #SBI fic rec #SBI fics #long post #sbi fic rec