#all these posts abt this are genuinely making me so anxious like what if it does happen and its awful | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

freckliedan · 5 months

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Hi!!! I just wanted to talk about how Dan and Phil as a brand is so relatable to neurodivergents in the way that they've been treated recently. So DnP built their careers off of being "weird" and "quirky" and socially awkward. That was Their Thing. Dan spoke for years about being violently bullied (quotes such as "being punched in the head by dickheads" stand out as a pre-BIG example of just how violent it got at times), Phil had the Why I Was a Weird Kid series, they both were frequently talked about as being "weird" and "awkward" by other YouTubers - they WERE the "weird" ones of the vlog group. The ones that awkward teens could relate to. Unfortunately, this got the attention of the #imsoquirky crowd who talks like they're experiencing all of these things while also being the same people who would mock me for my autism.

And that's the crowd now saying Dan is too old to be posting catboy photos or saying that the two of them "give the ick now, idk why." And I just can't help but notice how much I relate to that as an autistic and ADHD person. So many times over the years, I've made "friends" who were slightly into my interests, but then got weirded out by how hard I went into them. I think what we're seeing is the same thing happening to Dan and Phil. Drawing cat whiskers on your face to answer questions? Well that's "so cute and quirky"!! (/s). But actually playing as Catboys in JRPGs, dressing up in cat ears, making animal noises (which the two of them always did but ig this group overlooked), etc? Well that's "too far" and "so weird."

I think Dan especially got hit with this because he has more subscribers. When he talks about being bullied, most people can relate to that. But then when he goes and honks a horn in a game repeatedly (which tbh I've done before myself, very ADHD coded of him) or talks about hiding behind vending machines to avoid talking to people, that is suddenly "too annoying/weird" for some of the audience that got into him for his "relatably weird" content.

Sorry this is such a long ramble, but basically Dan and Phil have accidentally become the perfect examples of how kids with autism/ADHD/social pragmatic disorder/nvld/dyspraxia *insert other neurodivergencies that can cause atypical socialization* are treated. People might find your initial "quirkiness" relatable because everyone feels awkward or socially anxious at times, but it's when they see that you are Actually Just Like That and it's not to be #relatable that they turn on you and start saying that you're "too much" and "too weird."

Dan and Phil were the "weird" ones of the British vlog scene, and those of us who tuned into the younows or watched their older videos knew this, but someone who only subbed after watching a meme review or the two of them playing undertale might have assumed that they were the "right" kind of quirky/weird.

This is probably incoherent, but I hope you get what I mean.

this isn't incoherent! just such a well thought out ask i don't have anything to add. there's really specific ways i'm comfortable talking abour dnp + neurodivergence & neurodivergence in general so it's not something i've ever done super in depth posts abt!

i've actually gotten a few really lengthy asks like this over the last few weeks, so this is to you and to my other askers: i really appreciate that folks want to share their ideas with me but sometimes i genuinely don't have enough to contribute in response to add on to what's being said! and that makes it pretty impossible to answer asks like this.

so this is to everyone: feel free to @ me in the replies on your posts! (doing that leaves things cleaner than @ ing in the body of a post, which in my experience means folks are more likely to engage, if that's what you're looking for). especially loop me in about dnp + neurodivergene or dnp + gender!

this isn't a promise i'll rb or even see things, this website's functionality is shit, but like. it's actually way easier for me to see and support than if yall are sending me essay length anons, and this way i + others can find more people who share the same opinions as us! make ur own posts & ppl will follow u i prommy

#jam replies #anon #very unrelated response to ur ask but like. yours is a complete thought i agree with in meaning if not 100% in your phrasing but i know whe #not to be a pedantic asshole so like! @ me in yall's posts. it will work out better for you than sending me asks like this that i can't #answer

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a-s-levynn · 3 months

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honestly, from the heart, thank you so much for the compliments and reblogs. It makes me so happy to see a bunch of notifs from you and you’re epic gang liking and stuff!! You’re so cool and awesome as well as your art. I love the way you draw vessel sm and the fact that you draw so teeny tiny is very impressive!!! I’m happy for you if you got tickets to any future rituals (saw you talking abt it and respectfully don’t want to stalk your blog for confirmation [yup, I’m still waiting for California dates]). I’ll stop rambling and say I genuinely appreciate your everything you do 💖💕

(i present photo of vessel rapidly approaching from a ritual back in October I went to)

Okay okay okay look. What you do is both really fun and super good looking. No way i'm not going to be excited about it. There is something in the way you draw Vessel (and the rest but expecially Ves) that is just.. at least in my eyes just so perfectly captures his energy. And i love the style you have a lot. Also your humour. And all of it combined is just something special. And it's never not going to be immensley lovely in my eyes. So please never stop sharing your creations! 🙏🏻🫶🏻

BUT please NEVER ever for a second think that i'm cool. I'm the one who started to draw Tiny Token because i was too anxious to say happy birthday to someone after all. Half the time i feel too awkward to talk to people even when i have talked with them before. I could not be further from being cool, trust me on that one.

And on the note of "the group" it's an open one btw and you are part of it as well. The fellowship of Sleep welcomes all into the ranks. I don't want to speak in the stead of the others but in general we are just an awkward excited bunch of people who love seeing all the things in the fandom. And basically consider everyone around this ever growing ST community on tumblr to be a part of the friendgroup, regardless of the amount of interactions we had. Which obviously includes you as well; we are just too shy to engage more half the time. The bane of being terrified of being even mildly annoying.

And you can't really stalk much for it, i don't think i made a post yet on which dates i'll be at, because there is still some calculations to do, especially with the two new dates. But i will be at at least a couple of the UK shows in november (so if anyone is going and want's to see my stupid ass and we yet to have discussed it, please feel free to hit me up and we'll coordinate a meetup somehow).

And please by all means ramble on as long as you want to about anything and everything because it is good for your soul. Also I don't know why but for some reason this photo has such a funny energy. It makes me smile so hard, so thank you for sharing! 💖

#levynn answers

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dani-ya-dig · 5 months

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Okay I’m finally gonna do it.

I’m watching all three of the summit audios and posting just an absolute clusterfuck of my thoughts about it

So thought’s beneath the cut I guess

The Monarchial Summit

No but I’m actually with Milo on this one who the fuck only owns one belt?? I don’t even go to formal things but I still own multiple belts

Also Ash accusing Aggro of stealing his shoes… like the cat of MILO GREER would touch anything Asher would wear anyways. The fucking audacity of that statement.

Makayla existing might be one of the juiciest princes of information my brain soaked up from this anthology. I need to know more about this woman. I don’t even know why

Yeah… welcome to monarchy lovely… it’s great I swear

SAMMMMM!!!

Also like if y’all have idea for things that Sam wore to the summit share them with me bc I genuinely can not imagine anyone being able to get that man into anything more than a black and white tux

Sam and Darling better have got that fucking ice cream, I don’t give two FUCKS who died for them to get it. They deserve it. I love them in case you couldn’t tell. I’m pretty lowkey abt it.

GOD Porter is such a fucking asshole I love him so bad

Also this is probably gonna be something I bring up multiple times throughout this post but I love seeing the dynamic that the Solaire kiddos have going on. Like they interact pretty similarly to me and my siblings (except… you know… way more toxic) and I think it’s a fun dynamic that I genuinely want to see more of. I know the clan probably doesn’t hang out as a unit as often as like the Shaw Pack does but I really wanna see more of them together.

God I know the Shaw Solstice parties must be so fun

Also do you guys actually think anyone is like dancing at the Summit? Because I genuinely can’t imagine it. I would love to imagine vampires waltzing but it feels like it’s more of a socialization stand around and talk to people event… which is far less fun

“It’s a party not a funeral” it is actually so silly that you would say that you old fuck

SHUT THE YOUR UGLY ASS UP CHRISTOPHER!! I KNOW VINCENT IS SLAYING AT THIS FUCKING PARTY

Also what does “there’s mud in your eye” mean? Is that what Christopher says? I’ve never heard that expression in my life.

OHHH ITS ALEXIS!! I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ANT THIS PART!!!

Also GOD props to Alexis’s voice actor because every single line was delivered so fucking perfectly that it actually makes me wanna scream. ITS SO GOOD

I know her saying “mates” condescendingly must have already had Darlin wanting to whoop her

SHE SAID THE THING!!! SHE SAID THE THING THAT NO ONE HS BROUGHT UP UNTIL THIS POINT!!!

Seriously I hope that’s a topic we get to touch on more in later audios, is whether Darlin wants to be turned or not, because there is so much potential there and I LIVE FOR IT!!! And then like a Sam comfort audio where Darlin is all anxious that he isn’t gonna like them if they age even if they know that’s not the case in their heart GOD I FLDNSKDNDJDNHDJDHDZHJDHDHD

Sorry I got too excited

UGH OLDER DARLIN!! MWAH MWAH MWAH!

I may consistently talk abt how much I love Sam but Darlin is the character I actually have a crush on guys

Alexis does make a point though. I don’t remember exactly how old she is but I seriously doubt that Darlin would stand a chance against her in a fight based on her age alone.

“Pettiness isn’t childish at all. It’s what we GROWNUPS use to express our distaste when we grow up from our adolescent power fantasies and learn how the real world works” So we are just lying now? Also, okay meemaw sorry didn’t mean to disrespect my elders. Old ass.

The fact that she knew if Sam came over when she was talking to Darlin that it would start a fight

Also this part is something I saw a few Alexis fans complaining about. Saying stuff like “oh so Alexis is just a villain and doesn’t actually get any dimension as character great 🙄” but like??? Are you guys not seeing what I’m seeing about this?? One, Alexis is talking out of her ass, she is saying anything she can to make Darlin angry or feel like shit. That doesn’t mean anything she is saying holds any merit. She could 100% be lying, and there could have been good intentions behind her turning him, even if it was a stupid decision. Like Porter said Alexis is a delightful blend of self assured and insecure. Do you really think if she held regret for what she did she would let other people see that?? Sam actively says that the shit she has gone through has made her hardened but there is still a person underneath all of it.

I’m not even an Alexis fan but it baffles me that you guys don’t still see the possibility for her to have depth, even just within headcanon if it’s never talked about again.

DARLIN TAP ME IN PLS I COULD TAKE HER IN A VERBAL SPAR PLS PLS PLS PLS PLS

Porter to the rescue!

DRAG HER ASS PORTER!! SICK EM!!

Also Porter is strangely kind to Darlin?? Like in this audio sure he says he only helped them so he didn’t have to deal with the aftermath of a fight between them and Alexis, but also in the audio with him and Vincent the first thing he does when he meets them I compliment them. Potential for begrudging besties?? Or Porter trails Darlin around and they can’t shake him no matter how hard they try??

DARLINS FOOTSTEPS AS THEY RUN AFTER SAM <33

“You should >:(“ actually who the fuck do you think you are???

QUINN FORESHADOWING??? PLS PLS PLS??? I genuinely don’t see any reason to have this interaction if it isn’t foreshadowing to something happening with Quinn

“I needn’t mention Porter” PLS WHAT HAS PORTER DONE THAT IS SO AWFUL THAT PPL OUTSIDE OF THE HOUSE KNOW IT???

“Invocation’s from maker to progeny, not the other way around Sam 🙄” SHE IS SO SASSY I CANT! EVERY LINE SHE HAS I SWEAR

“But playing is what I do best <3” STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN HOMEWRECKERRRRRR /ref

SEE GUYS THIS IS WHAT IM TALKING ABT!! IM NOT A FAN OF ALEXIS BY ANY MEANS BUT JUST BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE TURNED SAM FOR SELFISH REASONS DOESNT MEAN YOU CANT STILL VIEW HER AS A MULTI-FACETED CHARACTER

NOT THE NIGHT OLD CUP OF NOODLES

Porter quoting Sam. I love to imagine that this is something that Vampire have to explain often so they just all end up explaining the same way eventually.

“What’s it to you” MILO BEING PROTECTIVE OVER SWEETHEART!! IM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH.

Wait how did Porter know that Sweetheart was investigating Closeknit?? Does that actually matter? Am I thinking too much?

“I don’t expect you to get it” as if every piece of media with a masquerade or large ball type event doesn’t have some kind of murder mystery undertones Porter. This truly shouldn’t have surprised anyone.

Super sleuth sweetheart <33

ASHER YOU DONT NEED TO TURN TO EVERYONE ELSE FOR THE ANSWERS ALL THE TIME!! U R SMART!! YOU CAN MAKE DECISIONS!!

Like even when it wasn’t him saying that he needed to go to David he still turned to Babe as if asking them what to do

Darlin is stronger than I. this shit would have made me cry so hard so fast I would have lost it

I love that even with all of the chaos happening inside Sam and Darlin still just get to have their sweet little moment alone

ANGEL SITTING IN ON THE MEETING WITH DAVID!!!

Food for thought, during the meeting David was holding Angel’s hand under the table and messing with their engagement ring???

“Ash… look at me” WHY SO YOU TWO CAN KISS??? STOP BEING SO IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND DAVID THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS

I genuinely thought they were gonna kiss goodbye at the end of that

Closeknit’s mission?? To what?? enable Blake’s obsession with his best friend??? To kidnap people and hold the hostage???

“Ow Porter what the hell! 😢”

“We are all sick of being your babysitter” (babysitter Sam enters stage right ready to drag both of them away by their ears)

THE MUSIC PICKING UP AT THE END IS SO KCNDKSBDJXHDBDBD I LUB IT

Vampire Justice

Alexis’s little “yeeeesss” is so silly of her. Someone has literally been murdered and she is just in a goofster mood

VINCENT’S LITTLE “lex :(“ AND THEN SHE FINALLY STOPS TEASING HIM!!! THEY ARE SIBLINGS UR HONOR!!!

ANGRY PROTECTIVE ASHER!!! GOD I CANT EVEN!!!

Also damn does sass just run in the family Alexis and Porter are so sassy

FAMILY!! HE SAID THE THING!!! THE WORD THAT MAKES ME CRY!!

hehehehe Mr. Shaw

Everyone is all shocked by the fact that they hold their own hearing instead of going to the department as if that’s the craziest thing about their legal system and not the fact that they literally are going to hold a public execution for Quinn

Also Sam seems just as much in the dark on a lot of this as the Shaw Pack does and I think that’s so funny. He has been a vampire for 15 years but just never have enough of a fuck to want to learn about vampiric court.

Monarch Baz really does not give a singular fuck.

“A pile of bones obviously” I could hear the eye roll in her voice

A LONG WALK IN THE SUN HAHAHAHAHAA

I know that he is innocent… but I really don’t like Christopher anyways

“I forgot to turn of the oven four years ago” PORTER!!

Dr. Samuel Collins knowing more about demon blood and its effects on vamps while being clueless about vampiric law

PLS CLOSEKNIT HAD TO MAKE A NOTES APP APOLOGY SAYING THAT THEY DONT KIDNAP DEMONS!! AND THEY WERE LYING TOO!! AND EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS IT???

BITE HIS ASS MILO!!! SICK EM!!

Again I know he is innocent but Christopher was a little too comfortable saying “my former king” so quickly…

WITHOUT A FUCKING SECOND OF HESITATION JUST DROP DEAD IMMEDIATELY

THE CRUNCH

ICKY

Also I know the entire Shaw Pack jumped back

STONE COLD DAVID LOVE TO SEE IT

Monarch Baz is so unimpressed I love her

The Game

AYEEE RIOT ACT!! HE SAID THE REDACTED AUDIO THING!!

Yeah that was grimy of William. Not that the king and prince of the Bennett house didn’t deserve it mind you. But taking their assets was kind of adding salt to the injury. (I gotta respect it tho! Gotta respect it!)

Also it raises the question does the house of Bennett still exist if both of their leaders are dead? Do they have someone who falls next in the line of succession?

Also I get that Vincent is like going through his world kind of crumbling down a little bit… but also… like I expected he would be a little more angry learning about the hand the house of Bennett had in helping Closeknit and basically sponsoring the Inversion?? Like that’s the event that killed your partner and gave you no choices other than turn them into a vampire forever and strip them of their powers or let them die. I thought we would see a little more relief that they are dead.

Also Vincent being all like “it was different with Adam” IN WHAT WAY BRO??? IN WHAT WAY??? Adam tortured your partner and I must restate the Bennetts pretty much sponsored the death of A THOUSANDS PEOPLE!! ONE OF WHICH WAS YOUR PARTNER!!! ITS THE SAME???

Wait… Porter was turned by a year old vamp? I HAVE EVEN MORE QUESTIONS ABUT WHY HE IS SO POWERFUL WITH MAGIC THEN!! WHAT IS THIS DUDES SECRET??

I hope that after hearing each other’s perspectives that this can bring Porter and Vincent closer together. Or at least make them hate each other less. I’m pretty sure it will, and I’m excited to see it.

Okay I genuinely don’t have too much to say about this video but one thing I will say is that it hits very close to home, in a very odd way. I could just be projecting and taking this the wrong way. However, I was the youngest child in my family, and I was too young to understand some of the stuff that happened around me or people tried to shelter me from it. Then when I was outright told the truth it kind of broke the way I viewed my life and the people in it, in a way that can’t really be fixed. So I feel that a lot through Vincent’s situation. Obviously not the same thing because my family isn’t centuries old vampires who have killed before and will kill again lmao. But that feeling of not knowing what to trust anymore, or what was real or what you just made up to make things fit the narrative that you were told. It hits pretty fucking deep.

(Am I over sharing on the internet? Possibly. But also it’s my blog so I can do whatever I want!)

Overall my thoughts areeee… While the summit wasn’t what I was expecting it was going to be I enjoyed it! It was refreshing to get some… possible moves on other storylines, some foreshadowing for ones that are going, and new information on characters!

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted monarchal summit

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aranarumei · 1 year

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I’m losing my mind over mitsukou. together and separately all the time honestly…

anyways my point that I was ruminating over this time is that I think it is genuinely evil (in a good way) how we’ve been seeing mitsuba like. while he hasn’t been here. like, in the red house, kou sees a bunch of temptations / wishes, right? and he starts off by cheerfully ignoring them, saying he’ll ignore everything, only for the red house’s mitsuba to go “who are you going to ignore?” and appear right in front of it.

which. considering the last time kou and mitsuba were actually spending time together, kou was stressed out over what he should be prioritizing and worrying that he wasn’t actually doing anything of value… I imagine that question is especially hurtful. and of course considering mitsuba’s own hang ups and what he’d been through, of course it would hurt more. but kou’s reaction to that entire scene with mitsuba in the red house is really interesting, because it’s like… comforting in this twisted way, right? mitsuba depends on only him and asks him to please die. he believes in kou and kou never thinks that people are capable of believing in him (he thinks he’s making mitsuba anxious!) and that’s sort of what snaps him out of it. we see snippets of other things, too—hanako being unrepentantly evil so kou can exorcise him without remorse, teru changing his attitude towards supernaturals… and those are kind of the same, right? kou like. likes hanako as a person. it’s not good to think that’s he’s 100% evil.

but even though kou will confront all of that and say yes it would be easier if things are like that, but they’re not, when he gets the mitsuba the manga has him go “and mitsuba…” AND THEN HE NEVER FINISHES THE SENTENCE. listen it’s wonderful character writing. it’s the same way that kou tell everyone he’s coming along with their expedition to save aoi to protect nene, and then adds “and I have something to take care of…” while we’re visually shown mitsuba. the way he speaks about becoming a supernatural to nene and thinks of mitsuba during the severance but doesn’t say things about it. the way that during his fight with no.6 he talks about solving peoples problems and bringing them happiness and calls mitsuba “that guy.” hell nene doesn’t even know about the entire mitsuba thing until she meets mitsuba herself and even then kou is really casual about the whole thing, not even revealing much about the situation.

I think there’s just so much there. and ultimately I think it’s a lot of like. wow. kou is confused about how he’s feeling! what should he be doing! and I think while kou does see what’s good about hanako in his introduction chapter, and that supernaturals r not necessarily monolithic evil, mitsuba’s also a huge facet in determining kou’s views towards supernaturals—he wants to exorcise this ghost and then through that trip ends up wanting to be friends with him and feeling so so so joyful when he sees him again. god. don’t even make me talk abt the moment where kou grabs mitsuba’s hand. that’s another post. but yeah I feel like he’s very careful and secretive about how he feels towards mitsuba because it’s very complicated for him and maybe hard to understand or express

so yeah. and now we have like, mitsuba showing up again (and I still have trust issues bc of the red house), right when kou’s been told to exorcise a low grade spirit, and he’s doing it in an effort to prove himself… man do things feel circular as hell. (side note why is mitsuba registered as a low grade spirit? only time will tell)

#kiri.txt #mitsukou #tbhk spoilers #jshk spoilers #in this essay I will #liveblog

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stardustdiiving · 7 months

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From the ship ask! What's a pairing most people seem to like in Genshin that you don't?

(ship asks prompt)

MAN OKAY I honestly could answer this with a good third of popular Genshin ships…but none of these are really solid dislikes, it’s just me feeling specific about how I like to see it executed & finding the way the fandom handles it is either unsatisfying, or generates an environment that kinda stresses me out NJDNCNC

To narrow it down to one I feel matches the question best I think I’m gonna go with Kokomi/Sara. It’s not really an active dislike or anything I promise I’m genuinely chilling. *insane person voice* but see I am just very stressed out with the in universe geo-politics happening in the background of this Genshin impact ship

I MEAN THAT IN A VERY SILLY WAY. but also I do have a genuine elaboration on what i mean which is like…how do I say this.

I really like Watasumi Island and find their existence + circumstances as a nation really interesting, especially regarding their dynamic with the Shogunate—it’s like the one part of inazuman politics that really catches my interest. But see the way I took the way the Shogunate + Watasumi dynamic was being written was specifically that Watasumi is/was suffering from colonization/imperialism at the hands of the Shogunate. I don’t see them as equal enemies on opposing sides of a conflict I’m just kind of like. Oh my god the Shogunate tries to control their primary food sources + military and after the war u see like, Gorou helping smuggle medicine and food supplies to treat their wounded war veterans bc the Shogunate is imposing high taxes on them they can’t afford to pay. The Raiden Shogun slaughtered their deity who was kind of backed into a corner on trying to secure vital resources for his people and to this day his corpse is just sitting on her territory getting ravaged and mined for weapons !! That’s crazy! I like thinking Abt that!

While I think Inazuma suffered from the writers dropping the ball with a lot of things I am generally happy this dynamic is explored/acknowledged repeatedly and Watasumi at least to me doesn’t feel like it’s constantly written in a really meanspirited and shitty way you know. Like, in the medicine supply smuggling thing i mentioned — that’s a route in Heizhou’s hangout that ends in a conclusion that something may have severely hurt the vitality of Watasumi’s land and it’s ability to provide, but that doesn’t mean they won’t survive or all hope is lost, because theres people within Watasumi who care and embody that hope and vitality within themselves and are working hard to build stability and provide for everyone. Like idk that’s really cool and I genuinely found it a really nice narrative that really makes me root for Watasumi

But then we get to Sara & Kokomi and ppl just do not talk about this dynamic between both nations at all from what I see, despite it being really relevant to the characters and in theory the appeal of the ship? And I jusurjfucn I guess it confuses me a lot bc I remember, most recently for example on the TCG event, I was so confused seeing everyone post about their interactions for days about how it was cute they were engaging in card matches together and Sara wanted to be friends…and then I played the event myself and we get this scene where Kokomi is standing off starring out at sea alone, and she talks about how she doesn’t like how she can’t see Watasumi from here, and how that was especially agonizing to experience during the war, and then gets caught up in her memories of the war and talks about how a lot of her people are still recovering from the trauma of it, and how she’s participating in this event bc she’s anxious about wanting to build good relations between the Shogunate and Watasumi so her nation doesn’t suffer more in the future AND IM JUST…MAN

Like I do think I can see Sara & Kokomi being friends, Sara’s character feels like it’s the concept of “individual with genuinely good morals working in an oppressive system doesnt stop the damage the system causes” kind of deal BUT IDK…I get fandom experiences can very anecdotal and I’m sure there are shippers who handle this aspect of the ship but when at large it just feels like it’s filed down to a vague enemies to lovers + contrasting aesthetic girlfriends ship I guess it def leans more towards being one I’m not really into. I think it doesn’t help it strikes the specific fandom pet peeve I have where I sometimes feel ppl water down a lot of wlw ships down to just being surface level cute and I am a lesbian who likes very nuanced and complicated character dynamic exploration so I’m personally just like. Yeah idk I guess this seems rlly widely accepted fanon wise but I don’t rlly click with it at all djjcnfj while I could be interested in this dynamic being explored, just if I were doing my own take on it ik adding romantic tones wouldnt feel super necessary to make it feel more interesting to me personally yk x__x

I just feel very excitable about a lot of genshin things and Watasumi vs Shogunate related things hits that mark of interest for me…definitely not implying the shippers r doing something wrong by making silly lighthearted posts and being less interested in types of analysis I enjoy but I guess that’s the most popular ship I feel the least interested in I can think of?

#fern.txt #asks #ask game #I tried to pick a more specific ship to discuss vs smthng I feel is more standard or expected #in terms of ‘popular ship u habe unpopular opinion Abt’ for genshin #ppl rag on ships like xv and zc a lot in these kinds of contexts n while I get what ppl mean when #they gripe about mischaracterizations but that happens with every ship and I don’t get ppl being hostile Abt either pairings #bc there’s plenty of cases I feel they can be fun and am down/open to interpretations of it….everyone has their own take on their Guys you k #maybe that’s bc anyone ik who likes it on my feed is just rlly nice and chill n I like their posts Abt it #like I 110% know how polarizing fandom can be and how u can get sour Abt things if u run into the wrong ppl enough #but sometimes ppl r so mean #Abt the ppl who like popular Genshin ships in general when i think like all of them r generally fine n maybe it’s me being very #specific in how I think of fandom but all their popularities make sense even with the one I talked Abt here #this one is just the one I guess I would feel i get the least but that doesn’t mean I don’t get it st all JDJNCNC

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jazzythursday · 8 months

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Snippet from my post-s2 eventual reveal fic, since it’s so so close to being completely finished and I’m sort of losing my mind looking at it after four monthes—ahhh

“You know,” Wylan whispers, in the time between night and day where you can’t tell if it’s late or early. He’s stretched lazily across Jesper’s side, in the bed they now share, apparently, “the moon doesn’t actually have its own light source.”

“No?”

“No, not on its own,” Wylan continues. His chin is tucked into Jesper’s chest, ear pressed over the steady beat of his heart. Wylan feels warm and kept and wanted, and it’s so strange. It’s so strange to be anything other than anxious or lonely. “It reflects the light of the sun back at us. Our perceived brightness of it from here just depends on where the moon is in its orbit around the planet, and our position relative to the sun, but it’s…not. Not really…” he trails off, fiddling with the duvet.

Privately, he thinks it’s an apt metaphor. That he makes a pale moon next to the light of Jesper’s sun. That if you took Jesper and put him somewhere where his smile didn’t reach or Wylan couldn’t hear his laugh, that he’d be just as hateful and unremarkable as always.

Jesper hums against Waylan’s hair. Presses his nose into it. “What else do you have cooking in that big brain of yours, hm?”

Wylan stops himself from cringing, but it’s a near thing. Jesper’s tone is genuine, he knows. Jesper isn’t mocking him. He wouldn’t.

He’s finally starting to accept that Jesper actually likes hearing about all the things Wylan finds interesting. He treats all of Wylan’s facts like precious metal: rare, valuable, desired. It makes Wylan feel emotions he doesn’t know how to name, so he doesn’t.

“Guess.”

“Hmm, something like”—Jesper pitches his voice up and does a crude impression of a posh accent—“My boyfriend is amazing in bed and looks fabulous in a kilt, he’s also unbelievably good with his—”

“Stop!” he snorts, laughs into Jesper’s collarbone. “I don’t sound like that!”

“Maybe not, but does that mean it’s not true?”

“You did look amazing in the kilt,” Wylan concedes. Then, “Boyfriend?”

No idea when I’ll have this posted—hopefully the first chapter will go up in the next few weeks, but until then feel free to yell at me abt it in my ask box if you like

#I’m at this point where I love this fic more than anything but also I’m deathly afraid that I’m too close to it to tell #like I have never spent so long on something and now I’m terrified it’s not something other people will resonate with #jazzy writes #jazzy writes fanfic #wylan van eck #wesper #six of crows #shadow and bone #jesper fahey #wesper fic #wesper fanfiction #soc fanfic #sab fanfiction

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girlwithfish · 6 months

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hii hope this isn't weird but i saw all your posts about your partial hospitalization program and i might actually start going to one soon so i wanted to ask what an average day is like and what to expect ! hope your treatment is going well!!

hii! thank u ^-^ i know its scary i was vrery anxious to start but my first 3 days have been going pretty well!! it was overwhelming for me at first esp if ur not used to being in a group setting but the ppl in my group r pretty nice! and i really like most of the therapists on staff, i think this is important bc if u dont like them maybe itd be not as bearable or like a pleasant experience 😭 ofc everything im saying is specific to my program nd stuff so urs could be run different! but my php has around 6-7? ish therapists on staff and a different member leads group sessions thru out the day and they rotate, sometimes 2 therapists at once. and its a diff therapist on the schedule and not rly consistent idk how they determine that lol. but i rly get a lot out of each therapists insights and find the sessions to b pretty helpful. i treat it like school honestly where i try to be very active in listening the whole day and take in what theyre saying and take notes from discussions and anything that resonates with me. they give us a binder bc there r a lot of handouts and also give a journal so i use both a lot and treat it like a class. it can be comforting to be around other people who are in a similar place as u where they also had to go to a 6 hour a day program, makes u feel a little less lonely. my program is very dbt and cbt centered, w an emphasis on skills. we have a different topic each week, like last week was emotions and this week is connection & communication. they break up sessions into an hour each and we have an hour for lunch at 12. since its not a super long term thing, w a lot packed into the short term as they prepare u for IOP (intensive outpatient) its def overwhelming at times cuz ur at therapy for six hours a day for five days a week so im rly trying to try to find relaxation outside of therapy nd ways to unwind. theres around 12ish ppl in my group who ur with every day. everyone ur has a different care plan and schedule, w ppl moving down to IOP and usually at least one new person to a couple new ppl a day since ive been here. so the group ur w does change every day a little just bc everyones on a different track. we're assigned a therapist who u meet with once a week for 50min and also a psychiatrist who u also meet w once a week. therapists will pull u out of session to talk w u or go over safety plan n stuff. every morning they have u fill out a check in sheet with u assessing ur SUD (subjective units of distress) score, if ur having any thoughts of sh suicide or intents. asks u of an achievement ur proud of in the past 24 hrs, any notes for ur therapist, what skills uve used in the past day. we also have music therapist who comes in a couple days a week and yoga once a week. good luck!!! its a lot but uve got this! remember to take time for urself and unwind after therapy. if u have any other questions lmk i hope this helped!! genuinely the ppl on staff here r very nice so it definitely makes this place more pleasant for me and the content is very insightful. i like how things r run here and dont have many complaints. if ur looking into diff programs definitely check the reviews for the place on google or smth bc the place i go to i had a positive outlook toward when i was anticipating starting bc there were a lot of good reviews and ppl talking abt their positive experiences so i felt good abt it! wishing u the best ❤️🎀

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gaym3bo1 · 3 months

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15 people, 15 questions

(if this means i'm gonna have to tag 15 ppl i'm gonna cry @non-binarypal7 @xagan @airenyah but thank u anyways hfhfh)

1. Are you named after anyone?

I'm named after two different political activists who share the same name lmao one marxist and one anti-segregation, ur allowed to guess

2. When was the last time you cried?

just before NYE bc i was completely overwhelmed and just wanted my peace and quiet (that i didnt get for like 3 weeks bc of the holidays)

3. Do you have kids?

lol no, i couldn't even raise a dog if i wanted to

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

i don't do any and i rlly should, but i was on a volleyball team for like 2 years in high school

5. Do you use sarcasm?

frequently, but apparently i've gotten worse at it and ppl can't hear it from my tone anymore, maybe i'm too deadpan with it

6. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

depends, but height is an obvious one

7. What’s your eye color?

Green? ish?

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

as long as it's not psychological horror/thriller i like both to a certain extent but i guess i'd choose happy endings (though i'm a strong fighter for 'not every story needs a happy end pls stop')

9. Any talents?

i'm self-depricating and feel like i'm failing at life so i'd like to say "None lol" but my friends would beat my ass so i'll say i'm quite good at picking up new hobbies/basic skills? And i'm a good cook!

10. Where were you born?

gemrany (yea i'll leave that typo, censor the place)

11. What are your hobbies?

making video edits of gay ass shows

reading fanfics abt gay ass shows

crocheting

drawing [hasn't drawn anything as a hobby in months]

eating delicious food (genuinely)

12. Do you have any pets?

3 snails <333 they are lovely and adorable and poop all day every day!

15. What is your dream job?

being the private chef for a friend that's suddenly rich for some reason. more realistically i would love working on tv shows or movies but also i know i'm not good enough AND i know how horrible the jobs are so i actually don't really. at least not as a long-term prospect but i'd love to try

tagging following 15 people:

....... tagging ppl in the last post already took all my social anxiety for the day, so i'll leave this for anyone who sees bc i am nosy but anxious (tag me i wanna see)

#rambles #tag game

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flutteringfable · 10 months

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finally found the time to watch generation loss and oh??? my gosh!????? i love ranboo’s stuff and i already had high expectations from hearing all the buzz about it but this totally blew me out of the park in a way i didn’t expect at all.

go watch it, even if you aren’t into ranboo it’s a great thing on its own. it starts a little slow but that’s on purpose!! just trust the process, as they say <3 (i’m using that in the wrong context i know but shhhhh)

anyway time to scream about it in an essay long post because i’m so incredibly normal about this series and not being a horror/arg nerd about it at all nope no way why would you think that ahaha.

[spoilers ahead! there’s only three episodes, all up on their vod channel and about an hour each! it’s so worth a watch!!]

okay, so, episode one was nothing like what i was expecting right off the bat.

i’ve seen the stuff on the actual genloss channel, and i figured it would all be sort of that vibe. imagine my surprise upon seeing ranboo sneeg and charlie being a little bit silly in a cabin in the woods (and also christian hell? for some reason?). i stuck through it, though, no matter how taken aback i was. it was so worth it in the end, but i’ll get to that later teehee <3

the cyoa aspect was cool! i wish i had been there to see it live, because i’m the biggest sucker for choice based stories and arg-style games.

not much more to say abt ep1, to be honest. just know that it’s definitely a completely different vibe than what you’ll probably expect (ranboo said this was on purpose!!). oh also i love squiggles he is everything to me. a little guy. a blorbo even. even if he uh, did turn out to be evil like i originally suspected.

ep 2! this one was almost equally silly in nature, but you can see the “cracks” begin to show a lot more in this one. (“why is cracks in quotes?” you may ask. well, iykyk, and if you don’t, watch episode three.)

the puzzler was great, i think it was hilarious that the mask was basically just how he looked anyway. the beginning was a good hook, i genuinely thought we were getting into the juicy stuff when ranboo was locked in the chair.

when he found charlie, i’m ashamed to admit that i didn’t expect charlie’s guts to be slime. that’s his thing. he’s a goopy gushy guy. i should’ve known. anyway. the part where the “illusion” starts to break and the slime turns to blood for a moment?? DELICIOUS. SO GOOD. MWAH.

NIKKI’S SUDDEN SWITCH IN HER INTRO ON THE CAROUSEL????? so good. everyone’s acting was incredible tbh especially in ep 3, i’m so happy. the silly death dialogue from ethan was great (until it wasn’t. iykyk, i’ll get to it), too. THE HAT BIT??? WHERE THEY REPROGRAMMED SNEEG??? AAA?????? so in love with this episode, it was the perfect transition to the hell that is ep 3.

okay so. ep 3. where do i start omg. i guess at the beginning, that makes sense.

i was really excited to finally have a name for hatch! honestly, even though my villain-senses were sounding off all sorts of alarms in my head, i was fooled for a short while as he was guiding ranboo. learning about the drones was interesting, too. lots of good lore built around the company and those guys! very cool ^^

WHEN RANBOO WENT AGAINST THE AUDIENCE AND CHOSE THE YELLOW CODE. IM RUNNING OUT OF WAYS TO EXPRESS MY EXCITEMENT AND AWE,,,,, UHHHH YIPPEEE???? I GUESS????? that was the thing that really set me off about hatch being maybe not so great. good stuff!!!!

ranboo finding the streamers pretty much locked in those mall restaurants!! AND CHARLIE DOING AN ACTUAL STREAM DURING IT!!!!!! gah, this series is so cool!!!!!! them constantly on the run from the drones and security (TERRIFYING monster, btw, i love when evil dystopian corporations have monsters as security <3) was so wild to watch. i don’t think i’ve been that anxious for the main characters of a series for quite some time.

them seeing the cabin set. ohhhhh my gosh. and then charlie dying (? presumably) at the hands of security before ranboo hits the button to stop everything. graaagh i ate that UP. again i’m running out of ways to express my love for this series lmaoo.

the “ending.” oh my goodness the fakeout “ending.” i was so thrilled, so happy for ranboo i let my guard down and was like “yes!!!! evil bad guys stopped woohoo!!! get this guy some rest and therapy!!!”

and then they bowed.

when i tell you i GASPED. like it was my fault for not checking the time on the video and having my guard down but i GASPED.

hatch letting the audience choose if ranboo lived or died. hearing ranboo scream and beg to be set free, and then beg to die…. i genuinely teared up. despite the rather grim choice to have them die, i think it was for the best. though i do wonder what would have happened if the votes stayed 50/50….. if anyone knows if ranboo has talked about that anywhere, do let me know! if not, i’ll shoot them an ask about it, because i’m sure it would’ve been interesting.

anyway, this series was so much cooler than i ever could’ve imagined. i was already invested in the stuff on the genloss channel, like i mentioned, but seeing the project for myself and getting to watch this incredible series was breathtaking. i’m a huge nerd for dystopias and horror, and ranboo somehow nailed combining them both with great comedy and a great story.

and i’ve heard it’s been nominated for an emmy? or something???? that’s literally so cool!!!! i wish ranboo the best of luck in future projects, genloss was a fantastic watch and i can’t recommend it enough <3

#fable talks 💫#generation loss #genloss #genloss spoilers #ranboo #ranboolive

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the-one-who-lambs · 4 months

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🐑🐑🐑 (3) (for the fic ask thingy in case this confuses u lmao)

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

This is... a long one. TL;DR: It took me a while but I finally, actually internalized that I don't need to set goalposts for myself and consistently move them.

Story's gonna get vulnerable and involve a few other people too. Many of y'all probably saw me go through a whole character arc but I've never really talked about how I felt about this (aside from a couple close friends).

Around July/August, I noticed my readership going down because I had just finished a big writing project and I was moving on to other stuff/trying to figure out what my next big thing was gonna be. I have always always written for myself but ngl, getting lots of consistent engagement and then suddenly not as much anymore made me wonder if I was doing something wrong, if the quality of my works were going down. I vented to a group of friends (including you lmao sorry Juliet) about it and they were like "chill it's the beginning of the semester and people are getting rly busy it's ok" and I was like "yeah makes sense" but nope, I had just plateaued and was dropping off a little for a couple months.

Around the same time, I posted about reaching some sort of milestone and got an anon (maybe well intentioned but it seemed kinda backhanded) that basically said "oh if you ACTUALLY have that many reads that makes you the most popular writer in the cotl fandom. I'm gonna place u above everyone else due to this metric I just kinda invented." And once I noticed my readership had stopped growing and just kinda leveled off/dropped a little bit it made me anxious. Sadly, "keeping others interested" with my writing wasn't really a concern of mine until this started bothering me

I did know that recognition was not the same thing as talent but silly perfectionist brain thought "oough you're the exception btw. you're just not interesting anymore and therefore you're probably not as good anymore lol"

Anyway. October rolls around. I start getting some asks comparing my writing to bamsara's, starting with them mentioning little details that sound very similar but realistically are coincidences because sometimes multiple writers see a theme/motif and we all start chewing it. Anyway, it's obvious that anon is just trying to start shit. Maybe they saw how I'd been kinda beating myself up abt my writing for a little while and tried to make me jealous of them. I don't know. It's probably not worth trying to understand tbh. I just delete the asks. I keep anons on just in case there's a genuine concern.

at this point I'm gonna interrupt to say EVERYTHING TURNS OUT OK I PROMISE and I'm not tagging you in case it's a sore spot but Sara if you're reading this I'm literally so sorry that me learning the lesson I got out of this involved you getting these nasty messages too.

Bam posts something kinda vague about how they get compared to some writers they've never read before. I hope this is a coincidence but alarm bells are going off and I keep this to myself.

Anon keeps doing this every once in a while for a few weeks; at first it looks like anon is accusing bamsara of copying me (???? like i said, we're just exploiting similar themes) and then it starts turning into basically "they're doing everything you're doing but better." Bam obviously hadn't done anything wrong, so I keep supporting them as I do the other writers in the fandom. Eventually the anon gets kinda pissy that I'm not envious or trying to tear someone else down or whatever. I've kept this mostly to myself and they don't like that.

So when they send an ask in mid-November and this had been going on for a few weeks I finally answer an ask to tell them to shut the hell up (gracefully) and then I forget about it and go to sleep. Wake up the next morning and uhhh. See Bam feels like shit because they got a really scathing message. Comments say it happened during a stream and I check it to see if it's the same anon and it is. Fuck on a stick. I literally burn myself out with anger over the next two days until I donate to their kofi as a peace agreement. They reach out and apologize for something they didn't do and it takes me until now to realize that literally nothing I have worried about over the past few months matters at all.

Anyway. It all turns out fine because we become mutuals and hype each other up. Kicker is, whoever it was forgot to turn off anon in Bam's askbox so we got to block them and I'm pretty sure they deactivated too lmao. I reached out to a bunch of writer friends and checked in with them to violently spread positivity and I've been trying to violently spread positivity as much ever since. Yay. Happy ending but sucks that this had to happen for me to crush my anxiety. Bam and I are buddies now and I've also befriended many more writers since, too. cotl writers we are unionizing.

#hannah's rambles #Well.

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frecklystars · 1 year

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Hey keri!! I don't want you to worry about people thinking you're faking anything and stuff like that - what you're doing and how you're approaching it is completely normal and healthy, everything you've said about the shades of pink in that post makes a lot of sense! people know that recovery isn't a straight line, but more wiggly with ups and downs, and you're such a sincere and nice person that I really don't think anyone is going to be whisper whisper about you making it up for attention or stuff like that - especially when the way you present and talk and vent about it is so different to how someone "doing it for views/attention" would be - but honestly I think a lot of people and I really understand the fear of this and the worry, but I think you should feel reassured that nohody is going to be thinking that. Recovery is complex and multifaceted and we understand, and we're all so proud of how well you're doing!! Sorry if this is a bit rambly or doesn't make sense, I find it hard to get thoughts into words sometimes. We're all rooting for you ✨💕🌻

HI YELLOW THANK YOU!!!! 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

I appreciate you writing this all out for me! And dw it all makes PERFECT sense to me, you are wonderful at phrasing things and also I love you <3

I want to believe it's true, that people can use their braincells if they see me posting a picture of my self insert wearing my favorite pink shirt, and think to themselves "oh wow look, Keri is working on healing, good for her!!!" but I've gotten some confused messages where people are like "why would you make your S/I wear a pink shirt if pink is a trigger? why are you reblogging pictures of Starscream if looking at him is a trigger?" and it's just so hard to have to explain myself over and over and over, that I'm 5 months into the healing process, that Starscream isn't a trigger anymore so much as he is someone I am heavily grieving now, that damn I love pink sooo much and I don't want it to be a trigger anymore, I genuinely want to heal and that means I'm going to have to put in the work!!! I am going to have to look at these things and allow these feelings to wash over me, to reassure myself that I am in control. I do this in my therapy appointments, I do this when I know I'm feeling stable enough to look at these things, and on my horrible days when I can't look at them whatsoever then I just simply don't.

But nowadays when I'm starting to feel myself improve even just the smallest bit, I start to get scared that ppl aren't going to try to understand me no matter how many times I explain how healing from PTSD works. I've been through a lot the last 9 months, I was completely alone with ppl who were convincing me that my feelings weren't valid, so naturally when I come back online I assume ppl are going to think my feelings on reclaiming my own triggers at my own pace won't be valid either...

...and me saying that,,, might be silly, considering all the support I've gotten in such a short amount of time,,,,, I shouldn't stress about an incredibly miniscule amount of people who could potentially tell me that I'm "faking it". but I still get so so anxious, it's been SO LONG since I've talked to people again, people who are actually healthy for me to be around, I'm not used to people understanding me or hearing me out, I'm still so scared that I'll turn around and somebody I trust is going to stab me in the back. Nobody has reason to do this, I just,,, I'm so used to it, I endured it for almost a year, so I'm always on guard now ready for someone to plunge that knife into my back when I least expect it. I never used to get anxious abt things like this but I am such a different person now than I was before I left, I feel like my biggest parts of me are missing :( but I am hoping that healing from my trauma little by little by reclaiming the things that were lost to me are going to help me find myself again.

Thank you for telling me that this is a normal part of healing, bc I feel kind of out of my mind and going thru this process is so rough. It's so hard waking up and immediately getting flashbacks, and having other days where I wake up and I'm immediately super cautious, so tense that my chest will hurt, because I know the flashbacks could start at any point and I have to be "ready" for it. Having anxiety 24/7 is!! wild!!! and I keep going up and down when I'm healing and it makes me feel weird, it makes me feel like I am going crazy and that I'm "doing this wrong". I know healing isn't linear, like rationally I think deep down I am aware of it at least, but omg I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster over here. I've never had PTSD with multiple triggers and I've never actually had to experiment with reclaiming said triggers. I'm scared of people perceiving me when I'm in such a bad state, judging my every move and deciding whether or not my healing is valid or if I'm doing this "correctly". It's probably silly for me to think these things but it's been really eating at me for the past few days.

But I'm rereading your message a few more times rn and trying to really let it sink in, especially when you say I'm a nice/sincere person ;-; thank you. Most people know me by now, I have been online for a longass time, I truly hope people know I'm genuine and I would never "fake something for attention", especially when it involves my comfort characters, like... this is literally the worst thing to ever happen to me, I couldn't fake this if I tried lmao;;;

Thank you for sending me a reassuring message, I appreciate it <3

#yellowpoet #asks #keepsake #also im so glad that you thought my post made sense 😭🙏💛#i rly rly rly hope that most ppl have the same mindset that you do #i just know the reading comprehension on this hellsite is like... nonexistent fjhgfdksfhg #and ive already gotten some confused messages. and theyre innocently confused #but it just scares me bc theres so many Evil People out there who might try to put me down for all of this #and I am just. I'm doing so bad. I want to heal but I don't know if I'm 'allowed' to #bc people expect me to heal at a certain pace #like. I do not want to spend years being scared of these 10 or 20 things #especially a color that is so!! love-coded!!! one of my main fave colors!!#me trying to reclaim it is something I couldn't have done 5 months ago #but nobody saw me 5 months ago bc I was offline for so long. nobody has seen me at my Worst #so I'm scared that ppl will assume I'm 'healing too fast'#I've only been back for one week but my healing process is reaching 6 months very soon #idk if anything i said just made sense bc i jumped everywhere lmao???#anyway. ANYWAY. yellow i love you SO MUCH you cannot fathom how much I love you #I thought about you a few times when I was gone I thought about a lot of mutuals #and like you're one of my favorite blogs/mutuals and I care abt you so much. so thank you for sending me this

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tittyblade · 1 year

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hello op do tell me what is the wangxian fic you mentioned in the tags of this post https://www.tumblr.com/tittyblade/711997184926711808?source=share i am very much interested in a fic with lots of gender

thank you so much and hv a great day <3

(x) HELLO IM SOOOO GLAD YOU ASKED BC IT MIGHT BE MY ALL TIME FAVORITE WANGXIAN FIC SERIES <3333

See all this and more for just ten dollars a month! by ScarlettStorm

its a modern setting OF au. wangxian met in college and theyve been friends for 10 years, obviously pining like hell and cant do anything abt it for the fear of it messing w their friendship LOL. then things change and they change.

the first book focuses on how their relationship comes to be. its got good conflict n even better conflict resolution <33 if you’re specifically asking for what the post says that doesn’t come until the second book i think? there are still QUITE gender parts in the first book too tho. especially if youre into fuckin around w gender presentation <3 there are certain scenes where reading it gave me so much secondhand gender euphoria. reading this series (n im not even done yet!) made experimenting w my gender both identity and expression wise so much more fun. its definitely a comfort series for me <3

some of my favorite bits abt this series:

lan zhan is autistic and his autism is written rlly nicely. making me reconsider trying to get a diagnosis bc of how relatable he is to me LOL

same with wei ying and adhd

they both fuck up but work thru it together. theyve got really good communication and honestly its so refreshing to read people in a genuinely healthy relationship (it gets worse before it gets better)

^i should add to that. its written from lan zhans pov and quite a few of the first chapters are. anxious. the narration reflects the mental state of the characters so reading those first chapters were a bit uncomf for me but TRUST me. it gets so much better. its still definitely worth to push thru it and keep reading it.

the gang goes to therapy bass boosted! not getting into more details bc spoilers. just read it. its written very realistically which i adore.

nie huisang is nonbinary n goes by they/them <333 incorporating it into my belief system. they’re also a. sort of indie fashion designer WHICH??? I LOVE???? they work w burlesque performers so you can get a sense for their creations <3333

ScarlettStorm, the author, is a burlesque performer herself!! she know what shes writing. which shes Good at. (shes also on tumblr so if youre seeing this HI. i adore your fics)

in the second book, you get social commentary thru the characters’ dialogues abt things like being queer, being a sex worker, etc. which to me felt INCREDIBLY satisfying to read. even just writing queer characters living a good life is a form of resistance.

the smut is like. really really good LOL. thats all im gon say abt it find it out for yourself

#mdzs #wangxian #wangxian fic rec #nsft #suggestive #THIS SERIESSSSSSSS oh my GOD this series #its on the longer side i think but. its got you wishing it was wven longer. trust me #im near the end of the second book i havent read it in some while bc once i start again its impossible to stop reading for me LOL #you KNOW a story is good when it makes you completely reconsider your identity and genuinely change you #thank u for asking me abt it given the chance this is one of those fics ill never shut up abt <333333 #asks #owlfindmydream

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velvetineblue · 1 year

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3, 6, 13, 34, & 35!! ( gibs u both salty AND sweet :D )

( in which i was supposed to be salty @ roleplayers but instead i just yell at tumblr staff incoherently / accepting ! )

3. what’s your favorite thing about your mutuals ?

aah, there's so many things i could say !! first of all, they're all very inspiring. whenever i see you guys on my dash, killin' it with your writing and ideas, it inspires me to be more creative. and active. i don't check my dash that often because i try to minimize my distractions during the day; but i bet if i checked it more, the inspiration would make me more active JASJAJJ. another thing i love to see is how the mutuals i have are all very supportive of each other !! liking posts, commenting, and being very warm and welcoming to each other. ; u ; i'm picky about who i follow, so i only follow the best. ;)) wink wonk

6. what’s one thing the rpc has to realize ?

most of us are over-thinkers. that thing that you are assuming about that other rp'er ( e.g. they must not like me because they didn't respond to my ask; OR they don't want to write with me because if they had they would have reached out; OR they probably think they're 2 cool for me because i don't use fancy aesthetics . . . all the thoughts we have like THAT ) are most likely not true. most things have simple explanations, and are not that deep. our anxious brains just like to overcomplicate things. : D I know that for me, if I did not want to write with someone, or if I did not like them . . . I would just unfollow them or not follow them in the first place !! it's dat simple asjjaja. so if you're mutuals, try not to worry so much about little things and overanalyze them !! if you come here & focus on having fun and exercising your creativity, and focus on that, and your friends, instead of rejections ( real or perceived ) and worrying over what you can't do and can't control . . . you will have a WAY better time! : )

13. what’s underrated in the rpc ?

touching grass. jk jk but actually only half jk. but all of the partners i have rn are people with lives outside of rp and other hobbies and stuff to do, and yes, that means we tend to be slower with our replies & all, but . .. it's so much better, ngl. it sounds stupid but fr, having a life is IMPORTANT, okay; people are less likely to get over-sensitive abt rp stuff, less likely to become overly invested to the point that replying to your threads becomes an obligation / burden instead of good fun, and it also helps lessen the over-thinking mentioned above...

when it comes to what the rpc writes tho ? hMMmm... i think continuity and single-verse stuff is kind of underrated !! like, having verses ( or even entire characters/blogs ) where everything is under ONE single timeline. so if you have a thread with Bob and in that thread, Bob chops off your characters' arm, from then on, your character has ONE ARM. periODT !! unless they get a cybernetic arm or magically regrow it, etc. . . this comes with it's own set of challenges & is PRETTY FREAKING hard to do in rp, but I think it is REALLY fun & rewarding when it works !!! i love all the twists and turns and the spontaneity of it. and if too much happens, there's no reason you can't just... reset back to the beginning!

34. what’s the best part about being in the rpc on tumblr ?

ooh for me, the best thing has been meeting a community of like-minded, similar writers : D bc yes, I’ve met plenty of other writers irl and online places besides tumblr, but… they don’t GET ME like my tumblr mutuals do ajdjsj. I rly thought I was a crazed weirdo because of how passionate I was about my characters, and how I can think about them all day & relate every little thing back to them … until I joined tumblr :’) tumblr turns a solitary, isolate hobby into something community-based, where we all collaborate and expand each other's universes, and i just genuinely think that's a really cool writer-y thing. very niche, very hard to explain to people outside our community ... but i think it's rly fun n uNIQUE. and I think I would have gone crazy if I didn’t have tumblr to scream to about character things svfdd

35. what’s the biggest problem in the rpc ?

that's a good question ... there's a lot of flaws in the rpc, but there's a lot of good things, too. there are a lot of problems that could use improving, but i don't know how to rank one as the 'WORST'. i do think that what i talked about in #6 is a possible contender for the biggest problem, because if we're all avoiding each other and too scared to talk to each other, that kills rp. but it's hard to change that and i feel like the rpc has talked about it enough. 🤷 i don't really have anything else to add or any other solutions. meh. i don't care that much either. i don't think the rpc will ever really die, so it's whatever asjjaj. ( correction: it may die on TUMBLR, but there's plenty of other places to rp if it does. roleplayers are like cockroaches; WE NEVER DIE. ) so instead, i'm going to say: THIS SHITTY ASS BETA EDITOR. I HATE THIS THING. WHAT THE FUCK. the biggest problem in the tumblr rpc is definitely that tumblr staff tries to 'fix' things that were never broken. they hate us and want us all to suffer. we are in hell, being punished for the crime of being tumblristas. i'm not one of those people who hate anytime a website has a minor ui change or whatever-- i didn't care about twitter adding 50 buttons. i'm not opposed to change if it's for innovation or a new feature or look or whatever, even if i don't personally want that feature........ but tumblr doesn't even fix anything: they replace what was there with something of inferior quality every time. how the fuck do you run a website worse than elon musk. not even muskrat has ruined the basic functionality of a text editor, tumblr....... honestly mind-boggling. > : [

#* OLD MAN SHAKEES FIST AT TUMBLR STAFF *

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shinraapologist · 1 year

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time to ante up to the promised essay in your shinra post on which characters in drrr are autistic. NOW

short answer they all are. long answer with receipts under the cut (sources: my autistic ass)

mikado- has trouble navigating social situations and responding "appropriately" to them, and his vocal inflection that doesn't necessarily "match" feelings,. his special interest is the dollars and watching the interactions between them and studying what impact his actions have on them. hes just like izaya fr. i feel like the paralels between them dont get talked abt enough. mikado is izaya if he got scared straight at the end of his middle school homoromantic friendship that resulted in him being stabbed instead of going hm. this will have long term consequences on me actually

masaomi- has trouble understanding the motivations and feelings of others. he masks strongly with his confident "ladies man" persona.

anri- she has a lack of vocal inflection, doesnt make eye contact, has trouble navigating social situations, her vocal inflection doesnt necessarily "match" her feelings. she has sensory issues (wears her her hoodie dress because she likes the sensory input, not to little and not too much.) relies on a routine (nothing ever happens nothing ever changes).

celty- uses strong body language yet struggles to read the body language of others. mirrors extensively. she mirrors everyone to a degree but especially shinra and shizuo. this should not be news to anyone just LOOK at them. i love them.

her dramatic body language is 100% mirrored from shinra. since she spends a lot of time with him and he emotes so strongly she's memorized his body language in association with certain emotions and performs them when shes feeling that emotion. (in SH she's even depicted as rolling around on the floor when shes upset, which is something shinra does 18436 times.) is shown to occaisonally wear regular clothes (mostly pajamas) when shes capable of making anything with her shadow which to ME implies she's seeking the sensory input from the soft fabric. she also tends to think in extremes, everything is very black and white for her.

shinra- has trouble regulating his emotions and helps himself regulate by stimming (dancing/wiggling when hes happy, rolling on the ground when hes upset, getting very still when hes concentrating or anxious.) over emotes to match the intensity of his emotions regardless of the situation. his neutral expression and tone of voice are hyper and excitable. has trouble understanding social cues and social norms. wears the lab coat ALL the time to the point that other characters comment on it. not something a neurotypical man does. his special interests are surgery and human anatomy. he genuinely loves his job in part because even though there's an anatomy "standard" no human body ever actually looks like the illustrations. he loves to study the variances he notices in his work and loves to perfect surgical techniques.

shizuo- has trouble regulating his emotions. his neutral expression and tone is said to be flat and without affect. struggles with overstimulation (wears the blue lens sunglasses to avoid the bright sunlight, wears his vest fitted at the chest for the slight compression) (because hes TRANSGENDER and really liked how his binder felt. brought to u by me who had a phase where i was binding unsafely purely for the stim of it. dont do that btw i can no longer bind at all 🤪) he has meltdowns when he gets too overstimulated. he enjoys uneventfullness and routine but from a combination of powers that be and his tendency to escalate situations when hes upset, he doesnt get much of that. escalates situations due to losing his emotional regulation. he also has trouble reading situations as well as trauma that leads him to constantly feel on edge and anxious.

izaya- somehow the only canonically autistic character. he has a strong mask in his usual calm vaugely smug demeanor that slips when he feels strongly about something. (stomping on the cell phone, laughing when he's delighted by human behavior, punching the telephone pole.) he has very black and white thinking that often gets interpreted as being morally grey. (he is btw. literally everyone in drrr is. its the morally grey fucked up characters media idk what you want) he would describe his special interest as humanity (and does, in canon) but its more sociology and human behavior. just like shinra, hes always in that damn coat. autism behavior.

walker and erika- they are autistic in the same font. twins. besties. wear comfortable clothes for sensory reasons (although erika's interest in fashion is enough incentive for her to sometimes dress up despite the sensory issues it causes. me too tho.) both have a special interest their light novels. both dont understand social norms and theyre both aware of that and neither of them care. legends.

saburo- struggles with social interactions. special interests in his van (possibly cars in general) and ruri hijiribe. had no idea he was autistic until he met walker and erika who assumed he already knew. looked at one (1) website and suddenly his whole life made sense.

seiji- his usual speaking voice is very monotone and his facial expressions are typically pretty reserved. like izaya and celty he thinks a lot in black and white.

mairu- her speaking voice is very monotone and she doesnt tend to express her emotions outwardly. she's selectively verbal also. likes her gym clothes for sensory reasons.

kururi- autism/adhd combo platter legend and we love that for her. special interest in martial arts. she doesnt quite get social norms nor does she care.

manami- i dont have solid evidence for this one i just know that is the hairstyle of an autism hero.

kasuka- speaks in a monotone, has one facial expression, doesnt outwardly show his emotions (altho ppl close to him can still read them). doesnt comprehend neurotypical socialization but gets along really really well with other autistic people.

ruri- she is just like kasuka fr. walker and erika moment with these two.

saki- masks really heavily but is bad at it. me too girl. when shes comfortable and not masking she somehow seems less stiff.

akane- really struggles with figures of speech. hates eye contact. special interest in art and drawing and i hope she starts making art again. i love akane thats my child and the entire awakusus child and shizuos child also.

vorona- she speaks in a monotone and HATES eye contact. she gets away with not making any by always looking at her book instead. reading as a special interest. she has an amazing memory.

slon- struggles with figures of speech and emotional regulation.

kasane- also speaks in a monotone. takes everything very literally. another strong black and white thinker. special interest in cats and cat behavior. cats LOVE her. cats always love autistic legends. also the yellow pantsuit? a slay. no nt person would ever pick that up.

dokusonmaru- got it genetically from his father kasuka. also all cats are autistic inherently.

characters that arent autistic but definitely have adhd: KADOTA. aoba. mika. tom. chikage.

#drrr #suggestions welcome #commentary welcome #discussion welcome #(discussion always welcome on any drrr post i make and any post i make in general)

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