#all kinds of fucked up

[egophiliac]

bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word

I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.

(I'm sorry)

#art #twisted wonderland #(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?) #(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay) #long post #tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then #anyway once again i'm sorry #i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone #i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks. #hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper #because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[theonewhowails]

cult trait: good die young

#my art #cotl #cotl lamb #as you can tell. my lamb is SO normal #i wanted to do a thing that showed what kind of a cult leader they were without being like. 25 pages long sakjhfsdg #surprisingly hard???? what can i say i love dramatic spacing and plotlines that slowly build over time. its my curse #this lamb btw is largely based off of the way i played cotl in my first full playthrough. i call this one the Collector #because they do all the fucked up shit you need to in order to collect all the follower forms etc

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 226

"Mother. Mother. Mom. Mum. Mother. Mom-"

Danny sighed as Dan did his best to annoy him, no doubt revenge for the child leash. Which wouldn't have been needed if not for his continued attempts to go off on his own.

As a five year old.

Which wasn't going to happen, no thanks. They had to deal with people trying to kidnap them as "elf people" or something in this dimension already. Ancients, can't people let him travel with his kids for vacation in peace?!

#Prompts #Dcxdp #Dpxdc #dp x marvel #De aged dan #Mom danny #Dad danny #He's just tryin to vibe with his suped up camper with his 6 kids and hellhound #People are concerned about this group of elves or whatever the fuck this family is #Why yes Danny has all of his clones as kids #Jordan calls him mom & Ellie calls him dad #Space core danny #No he's not ghost king #He did get adopted by clockwork tho #There could be some misunderstandings #Either the Kronus kind OR the Time stone kind #Actually it'd be hilarious if Danny gives off similar energy to the space stone thx to being new ancient of space

[uncanny-tranny]

Tall trans girl reading this: you aren't too tall for heels. If you want to wear them, wear them proud. There is nothing more spectacular than a tall woman in heels, and nobody can ever take that away from you, not even yourself 🩷🪻

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #mtf #nonbinary #trans positivity #honestly my favourite kind of woman is somebody who's told 'arent you too tall for those?' when she wears heels... #...and the next day she shows up in even TALLER heels #sometimes womanhood is a huge 'fuck you' to people who don't get who you are i think #I LOVE YOU WOMEN... 💐💐💐💐🫶 #(also this includes all type of heeled shoe. heeled boots are a great choice to start out ime) #(if you want to practoce wearing heels without Wearing Heels get platform boots imo) #(i think a big reason i can wear actual heels is that i wear heeled platform boots daily) #(and it really helped me get used to how heels feel without the fear of heels that are really thin)

[twistcmyk]

#THEY ALL MADE FUN OF ME!!! #i looked up every kind of egg after this #so i'd never be the fucking fool again #who's laughing now

[whosectype]

I watched the new Spider-Man across the spiderverse

#spider man across the spider verse #miles morales #my art #spiderman #peter Parker #i do not remember thr other guys names #spider punk #Spider Gwen #Shitpost #it was late when I drew this ok #And now it’s early morning :( #Omg it’s freaking funny that this post kind blew up a lil bit #Well blew up in terms of the attention my blog usually gets #I Imagine ppl have come to my blog for more spiderverse content #And then all they see is Cddwtd shipping and au crap and they’re like #What the fuck #That’s so funny to me for some reason ALSKDNJD #WHAT #THIS IS MY FIRST POST TO REACH 1K NOTES? #great #1k

[psqqa]

yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.

phoenix wright

phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright

phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright

phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright

phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright

phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright

phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright

phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright

phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright

phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright

just

phoenix wright

crunchiest man in the world

and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him

#ace attorney #where are all the people gnawing on phoenix's bones so white?? #i need to find the phoenix bone-gnawing corner of this fandom PLEASE #this is me asking for the Phoenix Fic btw #where is the fic meditating on phoenix's whole mental state in general? #where is the fic about how it's phoenix's cageyness and poker face and flat affect under stress that is the hurdle? #the relationship ramifications of being actually really fucking hard to read when it comes down to it? #where is the fic about the week of his disbarment? #the one detailing the panicked blow by blow of it rippling through his social circle while he stands in the eye of the storm? #the one that ends messy and anxious and unresolved because it's week 1 of 7 years? #where is the birth of phoenix wright: poker legend fic? #where is the art school/theatre major phoenix fic? #no not the able to art/act phoenix fic but the kind of person who chooses to go to art school/study theatre phoenix fic #where is the supremely disinterested in pop culture phoenix fic? #where is the actually incredibly meticulous and competent phoenix fic? #capcom can tell me all they want that he's essentially an adhd disaster flying by the seat of his pants making it all up as he goes #but that's not what they're actually showing me #they're the ones who created an in-fiction legal system that functionally necessitates that #and the nature of the game is that phoenix is almost always proven right so rather than him coming off as hare-brained #his opponents rather just come off as short-sighted. either negligently or maliciously so #and the choices the writing makes in service of retaining mystery and audience suspense in fact function to make phoenix a person #who is astute and puts the pieces together but is cautious in his conclusions #i will grant them that phoenix does tend to lose sight of his overarching goal in getting drawn into proving or disproving minor points #the fact that edgeworth on the other hand never loses sight of this or where the various arguments stand in relation to it #is his sexiest trait as a character by far #but those minor points are actually functionally critical to the ultimate argument phoenix makes #so even though i do read that trait through the game mechanics i do also judge the other characters for being dicks about it #my point is phoenix wright does in fact have the character of a lawyer and is conventionally good at his job fucking fight me #my point is that you all have had 20 goddamn years to Rotate this man #my POINT is that there should be Intricate Fucked Up Meditations On Phoenix that rewire my fucking brain and i NEED to know where they are!

[bevirspnsblmnt]

when you just finished fkng on top of a grave, but you have feelings you gotta sort out (they're just nekkie, but since I dont know the state of tmblr cens0rship - and I had drawings flagged where people were fully dressed before) you get the white halo of doom - but you can see the full pages on my twitter!! I drew some nice butts so pls check them out :3c)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #bg3 spoilers #khael tav #disegna e bevi #khael was this close to let astarion ascend because he was in a Not So Good Place at that point #the shadowlands fucked him up then orin killed yenna and at that point he couldve just let it all go #he only dnd bc he got scared of the kind of person that would made him #I have so many feelings about my baby boy and I cant put them all in these tags I realize jdsjfjsd #I just wanted to play a silly himbo barbarian #otp: Warding Bond

[your-local-granny]

fall from grace

#I actually did this for inktober like a year ago whoops #Thinking about her again 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 did you know she makes me ill #hey wasn’t it kind of fucked up she literally got shot #wasn’t it fucked up how she lived with this phantom pain carrying around her father’s greatest failure the mark of a killer #and then. She was also shot. In the same shoulder. Wasn’t that fucked up a bit #Oh also this was gauche on like a 4x6 sketchbook so there’s a lot of patchiness but that was kind of the point srry #all about unlearning imperfection and trying something new yknow #franziska von karma #ace attorney #ace attorney fanart #portal art 💕🌸🌤️

[heartorbit]

revstar emu save me

#please watch revue starlight #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #proseka #Im so mad i wrote 8 million tags stream of consciousness style and then aposted this to the weong account #im not rewriting all that. you get NOTHING. #actually i will say again i have no idea why this kind of blee up on twit please WATCH TEVUE STAKRIGHTBTNGL #i KNOW 4 thiusand of you did not watch it Watch revue starlight Do not speak of yuri unless you partske in the revue #sorry. anyways #the jist of it was ahh the assignments -> making cosplay -> might post it here if i can take a bice photo for once in my life #because im proud of it. as mortifying as it is. #my best friend is cosplaying an im the clown Two lesbians walk into the metro convention centre(is that where toronto comicon is????) #Oh right i was thinking of making little drswings of pjsk charas or at least exs and printing them out in bulk on a dheet of paper #and coloring them in w markers and giving them to people at the pjsk meetup or vendors i get merch from.. #i thought itd be fun. Also i swear to god i have a sheet of like MAGNET paper somewhere i want to make people emu magnets #Ok i fucking for real have to go to sleep i have to get up for class in 5 hours. wuit your college join my emo(daily affirmations)

[alien-bluez]

Lark can't handle nice things, and as he says "always fucks it up."

Drew a scene from this fic here, please please go read it right now!

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dungeons and daddies fanart #dndads fanart #fanfic #dndads fanfic #lark oak #nick close #nicky foster #i'm not tagging all his names #lark oak garcia #dndads s1 #nark #baby's first ever comic yippee #nark got me so fucked that i learned how to make a comic for them #this fic has me real fucked up i love it so much #and everything by this author is rlly good #if u like nark angst or lark angst or both ur gonna have a good time then #kind of obsessed with this they've been rotting my brain so hard i drew lark so much here i have him down pat

[sleepysnk]

me, @tsukidrama , and @marsbutterfly are just shitting bricks rn

#summer speaks #mars <3 #tsuki <3 #NAG #this movie is #ALL KINDS OF FUCKED UP

[cloud-ya]

big win for butch lesbian community

#i got bamboozled by her deep voice i thought mihoyo ended up making her a man anyway 😭 #trans butch? peak. absolute peak in gacha female design #mihoyo launched star rail and was like 'let's see how much we can fuck around in this one' #gods of all kinds protect siobhan from fanarts with large breasts. ive already seen one i hate it here #honkai star rail #siobhan #we lost argenti but got siobhan in compensation

[thefirstpaleontologist]

Anatomy of Alastors demonic forms

#Alastor #hazbin hotel #we know he got shot in the head by a hunter and that’s how he died #and that that’s prob tied to why he’s a deer demon #and radio dial eyes is obv because of his ties to being a radio host in life and now in death #but do we know anything about the stitches and broken neck #in a lot of scenes we see him twist his neck violently #and in his demons forms it’s always crooked #did his neck get snapped during or after he was shot? #I guarantee you that if we ever get a scene where Alston’s neck is bare it will have a fucked up scar or something #I’ve heard theories that the stitches on his mouth could be tied to his constant smile #either that his smile is such an important feature that it became permanent in death #or that whoever he made a deal with made it so he’s not able to actually talk about it #could be both even because in some scenes there’s only stitches in the corner of his mouth and in the deal scene they’re all the way across #personally the stitches in combo with the deer form and the fact he was killed by a hunter makes my mind go to taxidermy #it kind of looks like he was stuffed and stitched up #I’ve also seen people compare his stiches to those voodoo dolls #but I dont know enough about them to make any kind of comparison