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chazukekani · 3 years

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My Favourite Moment in 55 Minutes

[Spoiler Present] Context

Here is the background of the scene which I am going to talk about next:

After the explosion happened, Atsushi was sent back to the past (55 minutes before the incident) by Wells so that he could alternate the pass and find the culprit. The upcoming scene happened after this time travel, where Atsushi first met Kunikida, and asked he to go find Dazai with him so that Atsushi could get some advice from his superior for searching for the culprit of the explosion.

‘You will find him very soon,’ Atsushi crossed the flagstone road straightly, then suddenly walking, sneaking softly as if just realised something important.

‘Hey?’

In response to Kunikida’s calling, Atsushi placed his index finger on his lip, signalling ‘be quiet’.

And then, they approached the grey rubbish bin at the corner of the street gently and gradually, then lifted up the bin cover all of a sudden.

‘Wow!!’

‘Woah!’

Atsushi screamed loudly all of a sudden, and the person inside the bin jumped off.

‘Dazai!?’ Kunikida’s jaw dropped ‘What the hell are you doing here, and why are you staying in such place?’

Dazai tumbled together with the bin, and his eyes could not stop blinking.

‘I am sorry, Dazai-san,’ Atsushi bowed down and apologised. ‘I know it wasn’t appropriate, but it is an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me, so I couldn’t help myself to…’

‘…Ha…’ Dazai’s eyes were still wide open, and he did not respond either.

‘Are you…mad at me?’ Atsushi asked nervously. ‘Ah, I am terribly sorry! What should I do? I couldn’t control…’

Dazai was not saying a single word, still. Not only remained in silent, but his body turned stiff without a tiny move, and his breath also looked terminated.

‘Da-Dazai-san? Dazai-san?’

Atsushi rushed towards Dazai, and tried to lift him up.

Then Atsushi suddenly jumped off.

‘So…so cold!’ Atsushi was trembling. ‘No pulse! He’s dead!’

Atsushi turned his green and panic face to Kunikida, and right at this moment—

‘BONG!’

‘AHHH!’

Atsushi fell down and flipped abruptly under such a short distant.

‘Ahaha, what a huge improvement from you to frighten me! Even that’s just a second. Atsushi, this secret trick of ‘heartbeat termination’ demonstration is my gift to you to complement you. You should feel honoured.’

‘You are less like a human’ Kunikida said disgustingly. ‘What on earth with such body formation that you can stay alive without the heart beating.’

‘It is a gimmick that I learned amid my path of pursuing the aesthetics of suicide. I can stop my pulse instantly and it will still be fine.’

‘Ridiculous.’

Atsushi, who fell on the flagstone path, was listening to their conversation while looking up to the sky. He thought

—I can’t win this man even a hundred year has passed.

What magical about this is that, Atsushi felt the fog in front of him had wiped away immediately when he thought about that.

‘Dazai-san’ Atsushi said it with he sitting on the floor. ‘I want to tell you something.’

No more hesitation.

Even once scared of deciding, it will lead to countless deaths the right decision could not be made, so what should I do by then? Alright, if I could not proceed without determining, then that’s my choice.

‘Let me know your thoughts.’ Dazai shook his shoulder delightedly. ‘But, before that, let me guess something.’

Dazai stood up, and looked down on Atsushi. The breeze from the sea flickered Dazai’s coat faintly, and its hemline was swinging altogether.

Then he said,

‘You are the man who knows the future, right?’

Atsushi smiled with his eyes closed.

This person is surely undefeatable even a hundred year has passed.

How funny it is to see three grown men messing with each other in the middle of a serious mission, especially Atsushi and Dazai.

In the beginning, I like how Kunikida was willing to accompany Atsushi despite knowing nothing (he did not know this Atsushi came from the future) because Atsushi asked him ‘Can you come with me without asking anything?’ beforehand. It shows that there was a growing confidence of Kunikida towards the boy. Unlike how he used to be less care with Atsushi (as portrayed during Atsushi’s missing due to Akutagawa in the first arc), Kunikida now seemed to have a better bonding with his junior, and trusted his action would be contributing to the team, hence accepted to go with him.

Then it comes to my favourite moment, the garbage time. If you have read the full novel, you will know that this is the second time of the Atsushi-Dazai garbage time, but the second one has been elevated to the whole next level of absurdity. I like how Atsushi had been planning to scare Dazai, or else he would not walk softly at a sudden ‘as if just realised something important’. The boy knew that it is very difficult to impress his superior because that is an omniscient man, that’s why he saw this as an ‘once-in-a-lifetime opportunity’, which also tells me that this is something in Atsushi’s bucket list that he was dying to accomplish and how much he values. As we all know, Atsushi has a shy personality, so it was quite surprising for me that he would do such big move. Perhaps he knew Dazai would not mind, who knows! What I like about this interaction is how bilateral interaction between Atsushi and Dazai, particularly Dazai. As I have emphasised countless times in my previous analysis, Dazai does not open his heart that much. The way of how Atsushi is able to surprised him, and the fact that Dazai responded, and remember he responded, is a sign telling me that Dazai is stepping outside from his inner circle, and reaching to the companions who has been working with him.

I also like the fact that Dazai responded to Atsushi’s surprise, and continued the joke with his gimmick. Now you all know that Dazai’s current communication method with Ango is originated from this moment. I just can’t believe this is the first 55 minutes referenced made into the canon manga.

Before Dazai scared Atsushi back, I also like the description of how Atsushi asked for Kunikida’s help by turning his face. It also tells me about Atsushi’s reliance on Kunikida, which he probably saw Kunikida as the only one who knows how to deal with Dazai’s mess, or actually hinted the upcoming plot (which Kunikida made a solid plan in case Dazai is dead). It definitely recalls my memory of this OG trio during the first season of anime.

The way of how Atsushi says ‘I cannot win this man even a hundred year has passed’ is adorable. At the meantime that Atsushi realised how able Dazai was, it cleared all Atsushi’s frustration away, which again reflected Atsushi’s admiration or reliance on Dazai. In addition, this line not only explained how much Atsushi respected and looked up on Dazai, but also told me that Atsushi was willing to deal with Dazai’s mess, and tolerate all his daddy jokes or troubles that he made. This sentence delivers the tolerance and acceptance of Atsushi towards Dazai, which I think is something important to Dazai too.

Atsushi is indecisive, which is shown in the last bit of the translation where he expressed that he was afraid of making decision. Yet by observing how Kunikida and Dazai cooperated smoothly, plus acknowledging that there was someone he could rely on, his worry was erased. The very last line of Dazai’s acknowledgement of Atsushi came from the future served as a final shot in Atsushi’s arm, thus he repeated ‘this person is SURELY undefinable even as hundred year has passed.’ It once again portrayed Dazai has been Atsushi’s pillar, just like how he relieved Atsushi’s nervousness before entering the Sky Casino in volume 17 omake.

To wrap this up, here is my introduction of my favourite scene in the light novel 55 minutes. Despite having zero adaptation at all, I find this novel the most entertaining out of all, and remain my all time favourite. Not only the scene above, there are also other honourable mentions which I am planning to review very soon. I hope you guys can take a read if possible ( I have included the link of partial translation in my bio) because it definitely worth it.

#bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd nakajima atsushi #bsd dazai osamu #bsd kunikida doppo #55 minutes #bsd 55 minutes #y'all better read the whole novel #best light novel of all time

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crow-writes-stuff · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Nakahara Chuuya & Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), possible Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Edogawa Ranpo is a Little Shit (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency Member Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya Is So Done (Bungou Stray Dogs), atsushi has a crush on akutagawa, Chuuya accidentally makes Atsushi realise his feelings, neither of them is happy about this, Nakahara Chuuya Swears (Bungou Stray Dogs), Protective Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fluff Series: Part 4 of Affirmation Summary:

Chuuya and Atsushi are supposed to buy snacks for Ranpo. On this very important mission they run into Akutagawa.

There is a loud, pitiful sigh. Chuuya grits his teeth and forces himself to keep working on the report he's supposed to write. Another sigh. "Ranpo-san, are you alright?" Atsushi is the first one to break. Chuuya can see Dazai hide a triumphant smirk. The bastard shouldn't be so smug about it, even Chuuya could have guessed this outcome.

"No! I'm dying," comes the overdramatic response almost immediately. Chuuya keeps writing.

"What's wrong, Ranpo-san?" Kenji is now also thoroughly distracted by the detective's antics.

"I'm out of snacks!" Chuuya fucking knew it. He's been here for barely two weeks, and he fucking knew it. "Again? Didn't we stock up just a while ago?" "They're all gone," the detective whines. "I'm gonna die." If only it was that easy.

Chuuya can feel the detective's eyes on him. He's not doing him the favour of looking up. "Hey, Mr Fancy Hat."

Chuuya is going to kill him. "What," he says, eyes still focusing on his report.

"Buy me more snacks."

What Chuuya wants to say is: "Can't you do it yourself?" or simply "Fuck off." Instead, he takes a deep breath and says: "Fine." Because they've already been through this song and dance. Twice. In two weeks. Chuuya is going to kill someone.

He can't refuse, because he's supposed to 'follow any order by the Agency members' as Edogawa and Dazai like to remind him. And the detective is completely fucking incapable of being a normal functioning person, so he can't do this shit himself.

At least he can annoy Dazai in the same vein. Chuuya stands up and lightly kicks against Dazai's leg. "Get up." Dazai stares up at him as if he has no clue why he would be dragged into this. "You're supposed to keep an eye on me, remember?" Dazai pouts at him. As if that would help either of them right now.

Suddenly his eyes light up, and Chuuya does not like that.

"Atsushi-kun," Dazai says in a cheerful voice. "No," says Chuuya. "What is it, Dazai-san?" asks Atsushi. Chuuya groans.

"I think it's safe if you go with Chuuya in my stead." At the unsure look Atsushi gives him, Dazai adds: "Don't worry, he's been very well behaved these last weeks. He won't cause any trouble." Speaking about Chuuya as if he's a dog. Once again. Chuuya is going to kill Dazai instead of Edogawa. Maybe both of them.

Atsushi is still not convinced. "Is that really okay? The president said-" Dazai interrupts: "I'm sure the president won't mind. But you see, I'm very busy at the moment, and we would all save valuable time if you would do this for me." Chuuya, who has seen how busy Dazai is, rolls his eyes. But he's tired of arguing. "One of you is going to move your ass, or there will be no snacks for anyone." At the horrified gasp of the detective, Atsushi finally gets up.

"Thank you, Atsushi-kun!" Dazai calls with a self-satisfied grin. "Oh, and Chuuya, if you're already going to the store, could you buy groceries for us?" Chuuya glares at him. "I was already planning to do that. It's not like you can be trusted with it anyway." Dazai pouts, as Chuuya heads out the door, Atsushi behind him.

"Dazai-san can't be trusted to go grocery shopping?" Chuuya shrugs. He's more relaxed now that they're no longer surrounded by people that still regard his every move with suspicion. "He always just buys what he fancies at the moment, usually canned crab or something like it. Not that I expect anything different at this point." Atsushi fidgets with his belt as they head down the street, clearly wanting to say more. "Just ask," Chuuya sighs.

"Uh, well, did you and Dazai-san live together before he... You know, left?" "Not officially," Chuuya says as they cross the street. "I mean when we were on missions obviously, but otherwise we each had our own place. But Dazai mooched off of me so much that I just started cooking for us both." "I see," Atsushi says, and that's the end of the conversation for now as they reach the store.

Chuuya grabs a shopping basket for himself and hands one to Atsushi. "Do you need to get anything besides- Atsushi?" The boy has completely frozen up, staring at something behind Chuuya. Alarmed, Chuuya spins around. It's easy to spot the reason for Atsushi's reaction. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke is standing at the end of the aisle, similarly frozen. At least he looks better than the last time Chuuya saw him. Chuuya relaxes, just before the other two get over their shock, both taking on fighting stances.

Nope. This is not happening. Chuuya takes a step forward, positioning himself between the two. "No," he says. The boys blink at him. "No fighting. I'm not putting up with that right now." "Chuuya-san-" "No arguing either." Chuuya turns towards Akutagawa. "Did Gin ask you to buy some groceries?" The boy nods, dumbfounded. "Do you need help?" After a moment of hesitation, a shrug. That's as much of a yes, as Chuuya's going to get. He nods, making a decision.

"Atsushi, you're going to pick out the snacks Edogawa likes. Ryuu and I are going to get our groceries and join back up with you at the end." He turns to see Atsushi mouth a silent "Ryuu?" before nodding, dazed.

Chuuya heads towards Akutagawa who's still staring daggers at Atsushi but follows without protest. "Do you have a list?" He gets handed one silently, quickly looking it over. "Okay, this shouldn't take too long. Come on."

Chuuya leads them through the aisles, picking out both his and the Akutagawas' groceries on the way. Ryuu stays quiet, except for the occasional answer when asked something. Chuuya doesn't mind. From time to time, he adds something to the other's basket, like Gin's favourite tea, which she doesn't deem a necessity and therefore never buys herself. Or in this case, asks her brother to buy.

Soon enough, everything on the list is in Ryuu's basket, and Chuuya has enough groceries for Dazai and him to last the week. Maybe longer, depending on how much Dazai actually is willing to eat. Chuuya really wonders sometimes how his partner managed to survive the past four years.

They pick up Atsushi who has filled his own basket to the brim with snacks and sweets, and head to the register. Atsushi keeps glancing at Akutagawa and Chuuya can almost physically feel the other's patience thinning. "Stop provoking him," he finally says, shooting Atsushi a look.

The kid looks honestly surprised. "I'm not! I'm not doing anything!" Chuuya sighs. Dazai really wants these two to work together. "Stop staring at him like that." Earning another confused look, he adds: "Actually, just stop looking at him altogether. We only need to pay, and you can go your separate ways again."

They manage to pay without causing an incident. Chuuya is silently glad when they finally leave the store. As expected, Ryuu doesn't linger long. He nods at them, "Chuuya-san, Weretiger," and is off. Chuuya almost laughs. "Does he always call you that?" Atsushi makes a face. "Yes, I can't get him to stop." "Cute." "It's not!" The bright red cheeks do nothing to make Chuuya rescind his statement. He takes the grocery bags, ignoring Atsushi's protests, and heads towards the Agency.

When they're finally back, Chuuya unceremoniously drops the bags filled with snacks on Edogawa's desk, who doesn't even say thank you. He takes the other two bags and puts them down next to Dazai who immediately starts pulling things out to inspect. "Aw, Chuuya even bought crab for me!" Chuuya rolls his eyes.

"Hey, kid, you alright?" Kunikida asks, voice already suspicious again. Chuuya turns around to see Atsushi sitting on a couch with his head in his hands. He frowns, not sure what this is about.

Atsushi nods but doesn't look up. Which is only causing more suspicion. Kunikida moves closer, very obviously keeping an eye on Chuuya. "Seriously, if something happened, you need to tell us."

Chuuya crosses his arms. "He was fine just moments ago."

Atsushi finally looks up. His cheeks are red again, and oh no. Chuuya has a horrible suspicion. "Is this because of my comment?" "What comment?" Kunikida asks, but Atsushi already, hesitantly, nods.

Oh no.

Chuuya takes a deep breath before stepping forward. "Atsushi," he starts, voice level, ignoring the people around him. Especially Dazai. "Do you have a crush on Akutagawa?" The room goes dead silent. Everyone is either staring at Chuuya or at Atsushi. Atsushi who flushes even more and avoids his eyes. Atsushi who very clearly would rather be anywhere else right now. "Maybe?"

Fuck. Fucking hell. Chuuya is actually going to kill someone today, and it is neither of the ones he expected.

Familiar arms sneak around his waist, holding him in place. Of course, it's fucking Dazai. Chuuya glares up at him. "This is your fault." Dazai doesn't even act surprised, he just smiles. "I wouldn't know how." "You set this whole thing up in the first fucking place." Dazai shrugs, still holding onto Chuuya. "I don't see the problem. It's kinda cute, isn't it?" And, oh, Chuuya knows that smile. Dazai is going to take full advantage of this situation. Something Atsushi seems to realises as well, judging by his suddenly horrified expression.

Chuuya turns back towards the boy. "Don't hurt him." Atsushi nods, face pale. Chuuya doesn't have to threaten him to get the message across. The implications are enough.

Finally, Chuuya sighs. This day took a turn he doesn't exactly appreciate. He taps on Dazai's arm. "You can let go of me. I'm not going to kill him." Dazai smirks. "What if I don't want to let go?" Chuuya rolls his eyes. "Then, no work gets done, and Kunikida will yell at us." Dazai pouts but does finally let go of him.

They return to their desks, with Dazai definitely sitting closer than necessary. Perhaps he wants to make sure Chuuya doesn't change his mind and goes after Atsushi. Perhaps he's just being annoying.

Chuuya glares at him. "Don't you fucking dare." With innocent eyes, Dazai pulls back the paperwork he just tried to sneak onto Chuuya's pile.

Chuuya suppresses a sigh. This day is already too much, and it's not even noon yet. He's not sure he's looking forward to the rest of it. He feels a tap on his arm and looks up to see Dazai smiling at him. Alright. Perhaps it's not all bad. And he's reasonably sure Atsushi isn't going to hurt Akutagawa on purpose. He's still going to keep an eye on the situation, but he can live with it. It's all going to be fine. Probably. Chuuya returns to his report, Dazai next to him. Yeah, it'll be okay.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #bsd chuuya #nakajima atsushi #bsd atsushi #akutagawa ryuunosuke #akutagawa #bsd akutagawa #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #soukoku #shin soukoku

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linkspooky · 5 years

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Chuuya and Kunikida

For characters who we have not seen interact that much in canon, Kunikida and Chuuya actually have a lot in common besides the fact that they both hate Dazai, (I kid, I kid).

What’s the similarity between an idealist striving for justice and a career crimminal for the mafia? Read more underneath the cut:

1. Inheriting Two Sides of the Conflict

Chuuya and Kunikida’s first significant interaction comes in the cannibalism arc, where both of them are the main commanding forces on opposite sides of a conflict. When the leaders of the armed detective agency and port mafia are taken out of commission at the same time, we see it is Kunikida and Chuuya who start giving orders in their place.

Both of these characters are also, primarily people you would not assume would take lead of the organization. Dazai was originally being groomed as the next boss to take over after Mori, even becoming an executive at a young age before Chuuya only to desert the mafia.

Kunikida exists in the Armed Detective Agency, which also both has Dazai, and Ranpo who are both tactical and analytical geniuses. The armed detective agency was also created specifically for Ranpo, and his relationship to Fuzukawa is similiar to Mori and Dazai’s (though far more positive, Mori and Dazai’s is almost a negative foil for the two of them). However, leadership falls to Kunikida the same way it did to Chuuya because he has something the two geniuses lack. Dazai moves pieces around on a chessboard, and Ranpo solves mysteries like a fictional detective straight out of detective novels, but first and foremost a leader must lead people.

The two of them also have opposite reactions to taking charge. Chuuya when presented with the situation, his reaction is to immediately go on the offensive. He attacks the hospital before even considering any other option or trying to align with the armed detective agency.

Kunikida’s first action was not to go on the offensive or defensive, it was to hesitate because he needed time to think of the best option. In a way it looks like they took opposite paths. Just like the Armed Detective Agency is the guardians of the Daytime and The Port Mafia are the guardians of the night, Chuuya acts quick and dirty in order to achieve results whereas Kunikida hesitates, and then eventually buys time to think of the ideal.

However while they look as opposite as night and die, both of them had the same motivation at heart. Chuuya tried to levy all the forces of the Port Mafia on the hospital at once to force the ADA into surrendering, thereby minimizing the casualties of the total war. Whereas, the reason Kunikida suddenly felt overwhelmed, and tried to seek a third option eventually is because he also did not want any blood to be shed. Chuuya minimizes casualties, Kunikida seeks the ideal path where the least amount of people will get hurt. The only difference is Kunikida does not consider attacking Mori the same way that Chuuya immediately jumps to attacking Fukuzawa, because while they have the same motivation at heart Kunikida is still an idealist while Chuuya is a fatalist.

Chuuya and Kunikida are at heart both motivated by the people around them, and wanting to protect those people. That is what makes them the ones most suited to take over leadership of both organizations. They see the human element that most of the other strategists do not. However, they both channel this deeply human urge into two different paths.

Kunikida is an idealist, he strives for a goal far above reality.

Chuuya however, makes a lot of compromises with the extremely harsh reality that life in the mafia will show you. Notice how when Fyodor describes that even knowing that they are being manipulated, people cannot stop themselves from killing each other it cuts to a panel of Chuuya knowing that they’re trapped and saying he has no choice anyway.

Chuuya is in a much less healthy environment than Kunikida, also considering that unlike Fuzukawa who has good and just intentions Mori is genuinely a bad and self serving person who uses people as tools exclusively to his benefit and their detriment. It’s a perfect way to describe Chuuya’s relationship with the mafia, paradoxically he’s presented to us as a good, loyal person who is willing to protect his comrades just like Kunikida is but because he is in the mafia he ends up killing people. He’s been manipulated for so long it’s what he’s used to, in situation where he knows he’s being manipulated, he still chooses to take the mafia and kill people in the end because it is his only home.

Kunikida does not bend, Chuuya compromises, but that does not necessarily mean one of them is better than the other because Chuuya willing to bend and lower himself means he can reach some people in the underworld that Kunikida never could.

Both of them are inheriting a world that is currently in an uneasy peace, but also constantly threatening to go out of balance again. The post-war system set up by Natsume-sensei did manage to bring some kind of peace, but considering the number of orphans in the streets, the slums, and murders that still happen in the city in broad daylight it’s still a heavily flawed system. Kunikida and Chuuya are set to inherit both of these flaws on opposite sides. Kunikida has spent his entire life trying to fight these flaws, whereas Chuuya has spent his life shaped by these flaws as he was practically raised by the mafia.

They’re also both people who originally belonged to a separate group, but had to go rogue because their original group failed them. The Sheep betrayed Chuuya which led him to question his abilities as a leader, which is why he settled for taking orders in the Port Mafia. Kunikida was a police man, a teacher, before joining a private detective agency to pursue justice that way. They both have strong senses of justice that require them to go radically outside the system in order to achieve what they want, for Chuuya its to be able to lead and protect the people under him, for Kunikida its to strive for his ideals.

They were both shaped by a broken conflict and eventually the responsibility will fall onto both of them to better both sides of the conflict, rather than maintaining a status queue that still creates many victims.

2. Relationship to Dazai

Kunikida is Dazai’s current partner, while Chuuya is his ex-partner and member of the famous Soukoku duo. Dazai’s relationships with both of them on the surface read similiarly. He goes out of his way to annoy both of them like it’s his only hobby.

While they are partners Dazai knows both of them inside and out. There are times that rather than openly trusting them with information he will instead manipulate them to come to the conclusion that he wants them to. He can even claim to know everything about them, or be able to accurately predict all of their actions, and most of the time if the two of them agree on a strategy it will be Dazai’s strategy they are following.

His behavior of annoying others, purposefully antagonizing them, treating them as enemies even when they are partners, and then trying to control them are all related behaviors for Dazai. Dazai is someone who fundamentally has trouble forming relationships with others, especially when he is required to see them as human beings. If their ability to see humanity in their comrades is their greatest quality, then Dazai’s inability is his worst quality.

Dazai’s behaviors are all ways of relating to other people without actually having to communicate or let himself be known by them. If he annoys them, and antagonizes them, pressing all their buttons is a good way to figure out all of their boundaries by watching their reactions. In a way he’s playing with them only to observe them, and Kunikida and Chuuya are both so quick tempered they fall for it every time. Another thing despite being a mafia dog, and an idealist, both Kunikida and Chuuya are incredibly true to their emotions in a way Dazai can never be, which on one level makes them easy for him to read and provoke, but on another level makes him jealous.

When dealing with both of them it’s Dazai’s natural tendency to try to take control. Which is why his main method of strategy is to predict their actions. With Kunikida he more trusts Kunikida to follow through on his predictions, whereas he will try to actively manipulate Chuuya into doing what he wants. However, both of these characters are also so true to their own emotions it adds an unknown, illogical, unpredictable element to both of them which is why Dazai cannot truly bring them under his heel. They assert their humanity at every turn, forcing Dazai to deal with that. Kunikida will care for ideals which Dazai sees as meaningless, and Chuuya acts so much on instinct he will go off on his own and take paths that Dazai would avoid because they are illogical.

They both have something which Dazai lacks. They both value the loyalty that Dazai does not have, because he is not capable of making connections in the same way they are. One of Chuuya’s biggest reasons for hating Dazai leaving the mafia is that he betrayed the Port Mafia that Chuuya himself is loyalty, leaving behind all of their own comrades. He easily walked all over what was everything to Chuuya. It’s because they have these qualities they can become leaders in a way that Dazai is not. Dazai is the demon prodigy who inherited the executive position at eighteen, but you only need to look at how Dazai treated Akutagawa to tell what kind of leader Dazai was. In comparison, Chuuya while not shown to do so in the manga, in spinoff materials is often showing watching Akutagawa, nervously approaching him and trying to pick up the pieces that Dazai left behind, because he values what Dazai doesn’t.

That is why no matter how much he antagonizes them, Dazai also has a deep respect and trust for both of them. Besides Odasaku, the two of them are the closest that Dazai comes to trusting other people as equals.

3. Chuuya Longs to Become Human, Kunikida Longs to Become and Ideal

Chuuya and Kunikida are both individuals deeply invested in protecting the lives of all those around them, especially those in immediate sight like the detective agency and the mafia. For Kunikida this is his ideal, for Chuuya it’s the reason he fights.

Chuuya has been since the days of the sheep, basically allowing himself to be used as a tool by organizations if it means he can protect the comrades around him, and have a place in that organization.

Chuuya even joined the port mafia - after the sheep betrayed him by sacrificing himself in order to protect the sheep. It’s also the primary flaw in both characters, that they are almost selfless to a fault to a point where their own self esteem plummets. This is what makes Chuuya so interesting as a character, he is generally a good, sefless guy, just... you know, working for the Mafia. Chuuya lets himself be used by the mafia, and both shapes his image and acts like he has a code of honor, like a classic ‘noble mafioso or honor-bound yakuza’ character from fiction. In a way because their own selves are so lesser to them they are both acting out ideals. However, the way they follow ideals only leads to contradictions, for example Chuuya acts like the noble criminals that the Port Mafia make themselves out to be, the lesser of two evils, the ones who fight for the peace of the city at night, however his boss is Mori one of the most unsavory characters in the series.

Despite being one of the most idealistic characters in the series, we also see Kunikida do the opposite of follow his ideals several times early in the manga. When trying to save Atsushi would be too difficult because they were also handling a high profile case at the same time, Kunikida seriously considers the risk too great to save him. Kunikida advocates against his ideal of saving everyone.

He also tells Atsushi not to save Kyouka. At which point he elaborates that while he desires to save everyone, he himself already knows that there are people he just cannot save and he’s learned this through his own failures.

He is also the first to advocate for turning Kyouka into the police, because while admitting she is sympathetic Kunikida also lectures Atsushi that he must become responsible for the person that he saves.

If Atsushi is a reckless idealist who is driven to save everyone without really thinking of the consequences, then Kunikida is an idealist who clashes with reality over and over again. Note that Dazai saves Atsushi and Kyouka pretty easily and Kunikida is hesitant to help both of them because of the burden that the agency would carry bringing both of them on board. However, this is not because Kunikida does not care, but rather he cares too much. He sees all the possible consequences human and otherwise and fears failure which is why he is reluctant to recklessly charge ahead. It’s easy to just save people like Dazai does when you don’t care, and just pick them up like pieces on a chessboard.

Caring too much isn’t always a heroic quality, it can be a burden on itself. Chuuya and Kunikida take far too much responsibility when things go on around them, which leads them to their biggest flaw they are both far too aware of their own weaknesses. Kunikida and Chuuya struggle with the idea that they are lesser than others, less important. Chuuya himself is less than human due to being Aharabaki and having no history, or place to belong except with the people who use him. He acts loyalty to the mafia, follows the mafia’s rules and ways of living, because he thinks it gave him everything.

Chuuya’s struggle is a very personal one, and he tends to take everything personal. Dazai left him behind when he left behind the mafia, which is why Chuuya wants to settle it hand to hand with him. Chuuya has close connections to Ane-san, Akutagawa, and those close connections are the ones he fights for.

Kunikida is a lot more impersonal, as he tends to see ideals over people. That is why despite how competent he can be, he has almost no personal friends, and no girlfriend. His comrades at the agency are probably his entire world at this point because they are literally the only human connections he has, even though Kunikida treats that much more like a work relationship than anything else.

Kunikida is human in a way that Chuuya is not. He’s deeply emotional. He presumably has a family, and a history, whereas Chuuya was robbed of both of those things when he fused with Aharabaki. However, Kunikida also wants to escape that. To him, his human emotions, his weaknesses always run contrary to his ideals. He wants to be an emotionless machine who does not hesitate and saves everyone.

Which is why early on in his character arc we see Kunikida advise for taking the more practical routes. Not because he does not want to save those people, but because he knows that reality is going to crush him if he tries. We see exactly what happens when Kunikida fails to save a child that he does not even know, he’s capable of caring this much for complete strangers imagine how much it would affect him if his comrades were killed in front of him. Kunikida acts cold and distant because he fears his humanity will crush him, therefore he tries to suppress that humanity and strive for the ideal instead. He longs for the ideal, and strength, to be a tool that can be useful to others, even though he’s so naturally human.

Chuuya is the opposite, in fact we see him almost let Dazai kill a child in front of him earlier in the manga. While this was a wrong action on Chuuya’s part, he also had his reasons for doing so.

For Chuuya his own subordinates and comrades are so important, that he wants to remove Kyusaku to remove the danger from them. Chuuya also, probably does not understand Q’s full situation and therefore all he sees is a walking time bomb that put his men in danger. Chuuya’s view of the world is, if you’re not useful to your comrades then you die, it’s shaped by the Port Mafia who left Akutagawa one of their greatest assets and most loyal members to die after failing just one mission and in critical condition.

It’s not the right thing to do but it is a comrpomise. Chuuya is able to compromise and adopt a fatalistic view point with reality much easier than Kunikida. Which also, means he can become a tool in a way Kunikida never can. Chuuya himself already has an inhuman quality, and an immense power inside of him that erodes away at his ego and the human parts of him. He can even flip his brain off like a switch and become a being of pure power that is almost unstoppable. He has the power that Kunikida longs for, and also the ability to not get broken by reality because he is not as human as Kunikida is. Chuuya does not trust himself, he considers himself to be the one at fault for the Sheep’s betrayal of him, he thinks he is missing something as a person as a leader which is why he lets himself be used rather than try to act for himself.

However, the things that Chuuya values the most are not power, or even ideals, but rather his comrades underneath them. In Dead Apple he’s shown to care about those same comrades years after the fact, and is broken by the loss of them. Chuuya will always choose people over ideals, which is why he’s able to form such close personal relationships with others even on the wrong side of the law.

Chuuya’s path forward is in recognizing himself. The reason he is blind to Mori’s faults is because his self image is so low he believes he needs to follow Mori’s orders. However, Chuuya is the one set up to inherit the Port Mafia, once he realizes not only does he value his comrades but he needs to stand up against Mori if he values them, because he is the better choice to lead them, he will be able to take the Port Mafia on the path of what it is supposed to be, rather than what it acts like under Mori’s self interest.

They both live in this constant struggle trying to find their own humanity, amongst the people they fight for, and the ideals they represent as they let themselves be used as tools in the conflict. However, Chuuya is much more aware of what to Kunikida is a recent revelation. That he actually cares more about his comrades than his ideals, which is why Chuuya is the one we always see compromising and taking the more fatalist path. Kunikida does not realize how much he would break and the importance of his comrades around him in maintaining his ideals until someone else points it out to him.

Which if Kunikida’s arc is to continue is something he will have to grapple with and be aware of. As much as he wants to be a selfless idealist and choose ideals over people, the person who Kunikida is naturally cares about people a lot more than his ideals. His ideals are a construction and a way to live his life, but what he lives for ultimately is the people around him. That does not mean his ideals are worthless however, but Kunikida needs to find a way to balance them so he can fight for people and ideals. Otherwise his constant choosing of ideals over people is something that will only distance him from the people he cares about the most.

Chuuya and Kunikida, on two sides struggling against each other, the same struggle, of human beings, of tools, of ideals, of harsh realities let’s hope both of them come out on top.

#chuuya nakahara #kunikida doppo #bsd meta #meta #bungou stray dogs meta #bungo stray dogs meta #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs

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leonawriter · 4 years

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Okay so there’s this thing that’s kind of... not quite “bugged” me for a long time, but has been difficult to pinpoint. As a lot of things with Dazai are.

(I still remember thinking that during the fight against Kyouka, Akutagawa was talking about Dazai - which in retrospect doesn’t make sense with the added context the anime gives, because of course he wouldn’t assume to know what Dazai was feeling or thinking. That’s not how Akutagawa works. But I needed that extra context to be sure.)

In this case, the thing is that there’s a marked difference in the way Dazai acts here, in Ango’s car and right before the collision, and the two times just before and afterwards, in the parking lot (where he outright threatened Ango, albeit with a gun he knew had a high chance of being unloaded) and later on in the hospital, when Ango asks him if he had been the one to mess with the airbags and ensure [Ango] needed medical treatment.

Also, for extra reference, the same scene, same moment, but in the manga:

So, the assumption from these faces (two, really, since it’s such a split second) is that Dazai was very concerned, very worried.

In fact, with the addition of what the narration gives us in Mayoi’s visual novel-style retelling of the episodes, I’m pretty sure that’s confirmed! “But Dazai’s eyes widen. Ango’s words don’t seem to reach him.” That suggests that even for Dazai, who is always paying attention to everything and is always having his mind track several different ideas at once, he’s unable to focus on anything other than a single thing right now - and that’s what’s coming, and that he can see and Ango can’t. The oncoming collision.

Now, the thing is? This kind of flies in the face of what happens later. Because later, we get...

This, when Ango asks about the seatbelts.

A face that screams “wouldn't you like to know” and “so what if I did?”, and it’s easy to assume that this is what’s going through his head, and the truth of the matter. That we were, just like Ango, misled. That Dazai shows one face to the ADA, and another face to the people he still sees as his enemies.

However... I feel that this is giving too much credit to Dazai’s ability to mask.

And, yeah, I do mean that in the way of “to put on a mask, to play a part.” Because that worry at the collision isn’t faked. It’s real! We see it in the narration, we sent it in his eyes - there are times when a small-yet-clear eye means just as much danger as a dark one in this series, but this ain’t it.

I’d say that it was probably far harder to decipher this before the Dark Era novel/episodes came out, and no one had any idea what Ango meant to Dazai, what he’d not forgiven him for, and so on. You’d only have their present day interactions to go by, which don’t lend to a positive slant at all.

But with the knowledge that, despite how things ended and how things still are, Ango used to be Dazai’s friend... that slight pause before Dazai turns around in that mini connecting panel above is far more important - as is the very real worry.

We don’t know what sort of face Dazai was making before he turned around. We are specifically not shown. Dazai is meant to remain partially a mystery, and one you can only decipher if you choose not to take his word for things.

My personal take is that up until the collision, Dazai had been angry enough still with Ango to honestly attempt to threaten his (former) friend’s life, to run that thought through his head. Even if he knew he wouldn't be capable of following through - more because that would damage his own standing than anything - it was a decision that he’d probably been planning for as long as it took Ango to arrive. In fact, Dazai was likely in a sour mood all the while during that car ride. Took the time to tamper with things. It wasn't as if he didn’t want Ango to suffer, after all. Ango had made him suffer, so why not turn it around?

But, as soon as the Guild’s vehicle is in sight and he knows what’s about to happen? Dazai starts... I won’t even call it “panicking.” He just goes to his unhappy place. He likely knows that there’s no getting out of this - or if there is, he’s unable to think quickly enough or to react fast enough for it. He hesitates, he stares in the face of uncertain doom for both him and Ango, who had just been telling him to take his colleagues and run, and to be honest... I think it’s one of those times when everything slows down, like you’re watching it all happen to someone else. The world probably sped back up to normal afterwards, which is when this happens-

It seems clear from this image, despite it being apparently from Ango’s point of view, that Dazai’s either shouting, or talking loudly. His mouth is open wide for louder sounds, and although we can’t see his eyes (and thus, we can’t see his state of mind) he overall seems vaguely disheveled. It’s just conjecture, but given how Ango looks - a bleeding head injury for sure isn’t a good thing, and given Dazai’s past head bandages he’d know that - Dazai was likely talking to him to keep him awake until the ambulance arrived.

I’ll also add that from here on, Dazai’s interactions with Ango are on a much more even footing, and especially in later arcs becomes closer to a friendship which has trust, rather than Dazai needing to twist Ango’s arm to get what he wants.

So, that said, I think it’s incredibly likely that it’s this very moment in the car, right from when Dazai sees the oncoming car about to crash into them to the time when he’s ensuring that Ango stays awake after the crash, that he comes to a realisation - that he, Dazai Osamu, does not actually want Ango dead. That he may not have forgiven Ango, and maybe he never will, but that Ango dying - or suffering like that - brings him no joy.

In a sense, he slipped back into his mafia ways for a while here. Twist someone’s arm. Make them suffer. Hurt them. As he says at the end of the incident with Q at the rail track, “Even I can’t afford to play nice anymore.” In this case, “playing dirty” means he likely knew he’d have to go to severe lengths to ensure the Special Ability Division’s cooperation to this level. In a way, we could say that he’s showing how, no matter how much he hates Mori, the man was right in saying that they’re similar, because this connects very closely to the Mafia Boss’ “as long as it profits the organisation, I will commit any atrocity” creed, although Dazai stops short, and therein lies the difference between them.

So Dazai has his realisation. Both about Ango, and about himself. And yet he still looks at Ango like that, because - Ango expects to see him unrepentant. He might as well live up to that expectation.

But... I think that this also plays into what he later says to Kyouka over the comm system. “What do we do when what we want to do, isn’t what we’re best at?” - what Dazai does best isn’t just “killing people,” but also manipulating people with no care to how they feel, or the pain he puts them through. By experiencing this with Ango, I’d say that’s another step he’s taking in the direction of not just redemption, which yes, is still ongoing for him, but also atonement. Because it’s impossible to attain either unless you are put in similar situations, and then you actively choose something different from what you originally would have. And this here has him recognise that he can’t just rely on dirty tactics like he used to, not just because Odasaku (someone else) tells him not to, but because he himself isn’t comfortable with those methods, or with using them on someone he still has trouble thinking of as a friend.

As much as he may try and put across a scary face that says “hate me, be disdainful of me and expect the worst, I will only live down to your expectations,” that’s just as much a mask as his super-comedic “clowning” mask he puts up when he doesn’t want to address something and laughs it off instead.

Not being able to read what is a mask and what isn’t, and the difference between one mask and another, is what makes Akutagawa see him as unreadable, and barely human.

Accepting that he does have masks, just like the real life Dazai Osamu and the protagonist of No Longer Human, Yozo, did - that’s when you start to understand that Dazai is human. Can worry and be scared and can love like one, too.

#bsd #bsd stuff #bsd dazai #cut for length #this started out about Dazai and Ango and wound up being about his growth as a character #and how he masks his emotions #go me

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musicprincess655 · 4 years

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It hurts.

Ithurtsithurtsithurts.

Atsushi can’t stop screaming through the pain. His whole body is on fire, and he can’t escape it. He barely hears Akutagawa shouting at him, asking him what’s wrong. He barely notices when his face is shoved into the bed, when Akutagawa climbs on his back and holds him down.

He knew what this was, didn’t he? Before his entire world was flames, was embers, was pain? What had he known? What does he know?

No. 6, a part of his brain offers, one that isn’t as affected by the pain, one he used to use as a detective. You saw this in No. 6.

The wasp on the back of the neck. The corpse that was too shriveled and old to match the only person it could be.

“Hold still.”

Atsushi clenches his hands into the sheets, gripping them for dear life.

“Good.”

A cold line cuts into the back of Atsushi’s neck, but he doesn’t scream again. He bites hard on the blanket, gritting his teeth as Akutagawa reaches under his skin and pulls, and when he lets go, the pain finally stops.

Atsushi’s muscles go limp, exhausted from the panic, strung out and finished. He vaguely hears Akutagawa ask once again what this is, but he doesn’t have the ability to answer. He’s just so tired.

So tired, in fact, that he doesn’t even flinch when the door bangs open and Gin returns with Dazai and Chuuya. He does, however, hear Dazai accuse Akutagawa of somehow doing this to Atsushi, and despite their differences, Atsushi will not allow Akutagawa to answer for something he didn’t do.

“Saved me,” Atsushi mumbles, trying to force it out through numb lips. “He saved me.”

Atsushi passes out so completely after that he doesn’t even feel Akutagawa climb off his back.

***

The next time Atsushi wakes, it’s to a furious burning in his throat. He needs water. He needs water, throat so dry it might tear just from swallowing. He stumbles to his feet, blanket sliding off his shoulders, and realizes that he’s still on the bed.

Gin is stretched out on the couch, fast asleep, but there’s no sign of Akutagawa anywhere. Atsushi doesn’t have much time to worry about that, though. He has to find water.

Atsushi walks on unsteady feet towards the door, rubbing at the bandages wrapping his throat, but a flash of white in the corner of his eye stops him. He slowly creeps towards the cracked mirror hung on the wall, and reels back in shock.

His hair is shocked white, only one streak in the front remaining of the color it had once been. Starting under his left eye, a pink line like a scar starts, and Atsushi can see a peak of it by his collar where it must wrap around the back of his neck before it dips under his shirt.

Exhaustion and thirst forgotten, Atsushi rips the bandages off, his shirt right behind, trying to track the line down his body. It cuts across his stomach, uncomfortably close to the scars he still carries on his ribs, the ones he can’t touch, can barely look at without feeling bile rise in his stomach, and continues under the edge of his pants. Atsushi wrenches them down, trips getting his left leg out when he realizes the scar wraps itself around his thigh once and then around and around his calf and ankle.

Finally, bare but for his underwear, Atsushi takes in his appearance and tries to convince himself this is a dream.

His hair is white now, practically glowing in the darkness. The scar – is it a scar? It doesn’t hurt, but what else could mark his skin like this? – twists down his body, doubling back on itself around his shoulder blade, coiling a death grip around his leg. The only thing that remains is his eyes, still purple and gold and just as inhuman as they’ve always been. Now the rest of him matches. Atsushi barely looks like a real person anymore. He crumples to his knees, scar resting at odd angles with itself.

Atsushi has never been vain. It’s never been something he could afford, not with the scars the orphanage left littering his body, not with his scrawny frame from years of hunger, not with eyes that had made everyone call him freak and sometimes monster growing up, but even still, to change so drastically in the blink of an eye, to have to alter the very image of himself he holds in his mind all at once…

He can’t breathe.

“This is why I can’t stand you, you know.”

Of course, of course Akutagawa is here now. Atsushi glares up at him from the floor, wrapping his arms around himself like he might be able to protect himself from Akutagawa’s harsh, cold gaze.

“You’ve got this bleeding fucking heart and nothing to back it up,” Akutagawa continues. “That’s not something you can survive with. It’s going to get you killed, and the only reason it hasn’t yet is because people have always protected you. But this is a world where only the strong survive. You’re weak. You’ll always be weak.”

The thing is, Akutagawa’s right. Atsushi isn’t brave, not really. Sometimes it’s more like he’s just too stupid for his own good, too reckless, too quick to act and too slow to think. Sometimes, he sees someone who needs his help, or a question he can’t keep on his tongue, and he pursues before he can consider all the reasons he really shouldn’t. That’s not bravery, but it is all Atsushi has, sometimes.

Atsushi is a creature of anxieties. Maybe it’s inevitable from the way he grew up, or maybe it’s something that just lives inside him regardless of his circumstances. His whole life has been a series of repressing them, a deep hole of fears bitten back and shoved down, bitten back and shoved down, stifled until it kills him. And then a tiger roars free.

“Fuck. You,” Atsushi snarls, picking himself up, standing on his own two feet to face Akutagawa down.

“You’re growing a spine now?” Akutagawa scoffs. “I’m not interested in your theatrics now, Jinko-”

He cuts off with a cough when Atsushi shoves him against the wall, and Atsushi finally realizes two things.

One, Akutagawa might be taller now by an inch, but Atsushi outweighs him, because scrawny as he is, Akutagawa is still smaller, only the leanest of muscle covering sharp bones, and even though Atsushi doesn’t know how to fight in the slightest, if there are no weapons involved, if he fights Akutagawa for real, there’s a chance he could win.

Two, even if he can’t, it’s not actually going to stop him.

Atsushi gets one good punch in before Akutagawa even sees him coming, knocking his chin back so hard his head slams against the wall. Akutagawa snaps his eyes back forward, teeth bared and feral, and goes for Atsushi for real, nails like claws reaching for his face, and…

Atsushi’s back hits the ground hard where he’s been flung. Akutagawa hasn’t moved from the wall, because Gin is suddenly in his face, furious for having been woken up. Atsushi and Akutagawa both watch her with bated breath.

“Are you two serious?” she snaps. She points at Atsushi. “You’ve been in a coma for three days, and the first thing you do is start throwing punches? And you,” she continues, rounding on Akutagawa. “Stop picking fights! You got hit and it was your fault.”

“But he-!”

“He was-!”

“I do not care,” she growls. “Since neither of you can be trusted on your own, you’re both coming with me. And put some pants on.”

Atsushi bothers to feel a little bad about disturbing her. Even if Akutagawa deserves to get punched, Gin seems to really need her sleep, and he didn’t actually mean to wake her up.

Gin hauls them both up to Dazai and Chuuya’s door. It takes a few rounds of furious knocking, but none of them want to open the door without permission. Atsushi might not understand how Dazai and Chuuya’s relationship works, but he does know there’s a good chance of getting an eyeful of something he doesn’t want to see if they just barge in.

Chuuya finally answers the door, obviously blinking sleep out of his eyes.

“Nakajima’s awake,” Gin says. Chuuya just nods, waving them all inside.

The room Dazai and Chuuya share is smaller than the one next door, but without all the clutter, it also seems reasonably spacious for two people. Atsushi plunks himself down on the couch, and Gin very pointedly sits between him and Akutagawa. Akutagawa is still rubbing at his jaw, bruise blooming purple and red, and Atsushi is still feeling vindictive enough to think good in his general direction.

Chuuya sits on the other couch, facing them across a coffee table, and Dazai joins them, blanket around his shoulders covering his hastily-applied bandages.

“So, Nakajima,” Chuuya starts. “What the hell happened?”

It’s an obvious first question, but it’s not one Atsushi has quite considered until now. It takes him a minute to even gather his thoughts enough to answer.

“There was a wasp in the back of my neck,” Atsushi says. “Akutagawa cut it out before it killed me.”

“So it would have killed you?” Chuuya asks.

“How did you know it was a wasp?” Dazai asks, curiosity evident in his voice. “We couldn’t tell from the pupa. You haven’t even seen it, have you?”

“I haven’t seen this one,” Atsushi says, and though both siblings and Chuuya suck in breath at that, Dazai doesn’t look very surprised. He probably already calculated a few steps ahead. He’s probably even farther along than Atsushi. “We had a case back in No. 6. A woman died mysteriously. Her corpse was old and shriveled, but her ID showed she was a young woman. There was a dead wasp in the back of her collar. We thought it might have been some kind of weird allergic reaction at the time, but now…maybe it actually came out of her, and it got stuck in her collar.”

“So there are killer wasps now,” Dazai muses.

“What do you think?” Chuuya asks.

“More than you,” Dazai says.

“I’ll kill you.”

“I don’t know yet,” Dazai admits. “Even I need a minute to think things through, Chuuya.”

“Fine, go scheme it out,” Chuuya sighs. He promptly ignores Dazai to focus on Atsushi again. “Is this going to happen again?”

Atsushi doesn’t know the answer to that. He hopes not. He doesn’t think he can bear that level of pain again.

“Is he possibly immune now?” Gin suggests. “He looks different.”

“To parasitic wasps?” Chuuya asks. “I guess anything’s possible, but can you be immune to that?”

“This might only be a problem inside No. 6,” Akutagawa says. “We haven’t heard of anything like this happening, and Kyouka would have told us if she had. If it’s only happening inside No. 6, maybe it’s only affecting people there.”

“Nakajima is the only one who spent a lot of time there,” Gin agrees, clearly considering.

“It does have No. 6 written all over it,” Chuuya says, face gone dark. Atsushi wants to ask. Badly. He’s just scared enough of Chuuya still that he doesn’t.

“Then for now, we can say it’s not our problem,” Akutagawa says. “If Jinko’s the only one affected, and we already cut it out of him, we’re all safe.”

“What about everyone still in No. 6?” Atsushi asks.

“What about them?”

“They don’t all deserve to die!” Atsushi protests. “My dad’s still in there! My friends! What if this gets them next?”

“No. 6 deserves to come down,” Akutagawa says. “And besides, what do you expect us to do?”

“Maybe there’s a cure,” Atsushi says. “I survived. If we could get a message inside for what to do-”

“Unnecessarily risky,” Akutagawa cuts him off. “I’m not sticking my neck out for anyone in No. 6.”

“That’s enough for now,” Chuuya says before Atsushi can snap back. “It’s late, everyone’s tired. Get some sleep, and we can deal with it tomorrow.”

Akutagawa pulls Atsushi back before they go back inside their room. Gin throws them a dangerous look, but lets them go.

“That’s two you owe me,” Akutagawa says. “I’m not saving your life a third time.”

Atsushi doesn’t understand Akutagawa at all, doesn’t understand his view of life as a zero-sum game, only helping someone because it might benefit you, this bizarre system of owing and being owed. But at least he can understand the rules Akutagawa operates by.

“One.”

“What?”

“You saved me from No. 6 because I saved you when we were kids,” Atsushi says. “I only owe you one.”

Akutagawa blinks, eyes narrowing in anger.

“Thanks for saving me, for what it’s worth,” Atsushi says.

“Jinko-”

“My name is Atsushi.”

Akutagawa looks like he swallowed a lemon.

“Jinko,” Akutagawa says more emphatically. “Never thank me for that again. Not that I’ll ever give you the chance.”

They both return to the room, Akutagawa to his couch, Atsushi to the pile of blankets he’s been slowly collecting with Kyouka’s help to make the floor more comfortable. It’s an uneasy silence they fall into, but they’re both alive, and they both have enough to think about that they don’t go for each other’s throats again that night.

#shin soukoku #sskk #akuatsu #atsuaku #soukoku #skk #bungou stray dogs #bsd #my writing #no. 6 au #systasis

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master-riku · 6 years

Text

[Bungou Stray Dogs] 55 Minutes Part 4

Disclaimer: [ In no way are my translations perfect. Far from perfect. I’m using this to help me study. Please keep in mind that future translations of this project may change previous translations in order to fit better with the story. The project’s progress depends on the translator’s time! Thank you! ]

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On the same day, 16 minutes ago.

On Standard Island, a large-scale city floating on the sea, tourists arrived on a pier.

A man wearing a black mantle over his entire body shows dislike for the sun.

Concealing his face, he wears a black cloth over his mouth. Only his eyes are exposed which are strangely sharp.

There is another person wearing glasses; a young woman with honey-colored hair that reaches her shoulders.

She seemed to be a young and very talented woman who wore a black business suit and sunglasses.

"We entered the island safely," She said.

"Of course, there isn't a place that Yokohama's sea breeze can reach that we cannot enter. We're the Port Mafia." The man cloaked in black replied. Upon entering the island, they were given the labels of "general tourists." However, the procedure was cleverly counterfeited.

Changing their careers, manipulating their photographs, and passing confirmation by dangling money or showing violence; everything is possible with the Port Mafia's strength.

The sharp-eyed male has a name: Akutagawa.

He is an ability user who is bound to the Port Mafia.

The woman with honey-colored hair goes by the name Higuchi. She is an administrative assistant to Akutagawa.

"Number of enemies." Akutagawa asked while narrowing his eyes.

"It is estimated to be four people," Higuchi responded competently. "They are traitors to the Port Mafia who tried to invade the Port Mafia's banks last night. The traitors attempted to steal money from the safety deposit box, but they were found out and escaped. One of our members was an accountant who was assigned to manage the bank; they were killed during the escape."

"Insurgents?" Akutagawa laughed a bit.

Reddish blood slowly spilled from his mouth. "Those who rise against us, whether it is from disobedience or circumstance, will not have to wait for long to become a corpse. This is who we are. This is the meaning of our existence."

"I agree," Higuchi nodded. "I don't think that the bank robbers knew they infiltrated the Port Mafia's banks, but as soon as they gained information on the murdered accountant, they ran away to the island without taking the money they robbed. They must have thought they could escape the Port Mafia's revenge by coming to this island because it is an extraterritorial jurisdiction."

"Ignorant fools," Akutagawa's smile was colder than a snake's, and the exhale he made more sinister than an evil spirit's. "But, I congratulate their idiocy. They played an important role by giving the Port Mafia a reason to demonstrate the length and intensity of our revenges. I'll scatter their organs and make their screams long and breathless."

"There's no enemy that can stand before Akutagawa-senpai!" Higuchi exclaimed passionately.

Akutagawa nodded while clenching his jaw.

"Let's go forward, Higuchi."

"Yes," Higuchi said while following Akutagawa. "Oh, by the way, Senpai."

"What?"

"There is this world class resort on this island. Is it not important to rid of mental and physical fatigue? After the mission, the two of us should go sightseeing, visit the beach, and more!"

"No."

Akutagawa started walking away.

"Senpai, in the evening, there seems to be masquerade balls that are held at the central square. Would you like to join me? Just the two of us."

"No."

Akutagawa did not turn around and continued walking.

"Senpai, before we begin our mission, we need a base. In fact, we have a room secured under a false name at the high-class hotel, but it's only one room. We could take a break there first."

"Do you not understand 'no'?"

Akutagawa continued to walk down the stone pavement without slowing down.

Higuchi stared up at the blue sky with a defeated look.

"...I know..right..."

After parting with Dazai, Atsushi headed towards an area called the "engine depot."The island was roughly divided into residential areas, experimental districts, tourist areas, and engine depots. The residential area was where the managing staff lived on the island. The experimental district was where power-generated facilities and various experimental examinations took place. The tourist area has music auditoriums, accommodations, beaches, and shopping districts. And the engine depot is a part of the island where the necessary facilities to sail the "ship" are lined up. It is said that the "Jewel Truffle" that Atsushi and the others were meant to protect is kept in a safe room located deep in the engine room.

Atsushi walked passed modern Berlin buildings to head towards the Security Gaurd section. The clock tower that can be seen beyond the townscape had a different design engraved on it from the British side. Even from a distance, the time could be read; it was 11:27.

Atsushi gazed at the surrounding cityscape from the clock tower.

"Hmm....the buildings in this neighborhood have a different atmosphere then from a while ago..." Atsushi murmured while staring. "The buildings' walls and frames are square-shaped, they look like building blocks. A-ah, that shop's sausages...they look delicious....hm?"

Atsushi stopped walking. On the other side of the large sidewalk, in a recessed part of a building, there was a group of three tourists who were sitting down and talking.

They were a strange group of three. They were not enjoying any sightseeing, nor were they looking at a map, the three people were talking to one another face to face near the wall.

Atsushi could not hear well due to the distance, but a few words were carried by the wind: "I forgot," "At an important time like this?" "What should we do?"

Atsushi tilted his head. Did the tourists leave something behind? They did not appear to be officers on this island. One of them was a bald man, the other looked like a tired office worker, and the third was a boy who looked a bit younger than Atsushi. Just by the tone, they seemed as if they were in some distress.

Did they lose a map? If they're lost, he should help them. It was on the way towards the three strangers that Atsushi realized they were in trouble for a slightly different reason than he had expected. As he got closer, he could hear their conversation clearly.

"It wasn't a difficult conversation. Weren't you the one who said that boss? You said, "At most, I only remember how to count up to 12-column digits, and all the names of every woman I slept with up till now."' It was the middle-aged man wearing a business suit that wore a tired expression that gave the troubled voice. His hair was thin and his body looked as if he had insufficient exercise. He was a man who has worked with money as a middle-level manager for twenty years.

His expression invited sorrow.

"That's what was said... That's what I definitely said. Is there something wrong?"

The complaints came from a muscular, bald-headed man with a frown on his face. He was taller than Atsushi by a head, but shorter than the Detective Agency's Kunikida.

"I'm the boss of the bandits. So, you all need to support the boss's every action with full effort! If the boss forgets the 12 digit cancellation code, then make up for it somehow, and show me how it's done!"

Atsushi stopped for a moment. It wasn't because the bald-headed man who forgot how to count to 12 digits had such a defiant attitude, but of course because he heard the word "bandits."

—— I received information from Scotland Yard that three thieves are aiming to steal an item --

He remembers when the captain spoke those words when he was talking about the treasured truffles.

"The boss is amazing! So cool! If something were to happen to me, I'd be safe with the boss!"

It was the third person who spoke in a very vibrant voice. His face was bright, but he was dressed poorly. His eyes shone with trust at the man called boss. He was probably younger than Atsushi by 2 or 3 years.

" Fuhahahaha! That's right, boy! Give me more praise! I'm the leader of the bandits; the reincarnation of Kaitou Thief: Arsene Lupin!"* (Kaitou Thief is a popular term in Japan for Magical thief. A very popular character that has kaitou thief qualities is Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon. Arsène Lupin is a fictional gentleman thief and master of disguise created by French writer Maurice Leblanc.)

The boss laughed in a way that made his pectoral muscles burst.

"Of course the boss's greatness is something to behold, yes," The middle-aged salary man lowered his head tiredly. "But, no matter how low I bow my head to the Earth and worship the boss, I can't stop the surveillance cameras unless I have the 12-digit cancellation code."

"The surveillance cameras, you say? Work together and do something about it!"

”There's nothing that we can do!　I'm going to cry!"The middle-aged man gave a sorrowful voice.

"Or, you know, it's okay to use that. You know, that roundish thing you brought. Where you do...something like...this."

"The mouse."

"Yeah, the mouse. And when you push it, it does this sort of.."

"A click."

"Yeah, a click! WELL, IF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT MUCH, HURRY UP AND DO IT!"

"Boss is amazing! Let's do it!" The boy with sparkling eyes said.

"You're already 43 years old, are you sure it's okay to cry out in public?" The middle-aged man lowered his head.

There was no doubt about it. Atsushi hid himself behind a tree located near the sidewalk and pulled out a mobile phone from his bosom.

"Kunikida-san" without waiting for a response from the other, Atsushi whispered in a loud voice, "It's Atsushi. I found the three-person bandit group."

"What?" Kunikida breathed behind the receiver. "Where are you, right now?"

"Uh..." Atsushi looked around. "I'm close to the Engine Depot, it's next to the white art museum."

"As for the bandits?"

"There is a really incompetent boss, a young boy who admires his boss a lot, and a very pathetic middle-aged man."

"....Pathetic...What?" Kunikida sounded confused.

"Uhm, well...They seem to be trying to disable the surveillance cameras or something."

"What do you mean disable the surveillance cameras?"Beyond the phone, there was a sound of Kunikida turning pages in his notebook. "There is an underground passage in the museum, and it is connected with other facilities on the island, and..."

Overlapping Kunikida's voice, the three bandits were speaking.

"Eeyy, you're sluggish!" The boss shouted at his two subordinates. "My power is amazing when reflected on surveillance cameras! For the people who want to see, I'll show them!"

"Uh, uhm, wait a minute - boss?!"

"Let's go, it's time to steal!"

All three people stood up and gradually began to advance to the darker side of the building.

"Kunikida-san, it looks like they're starting to make their move!"

"Don't lose sight of them," Kunikida ordered hastily. "Keep surveying them from afar. "Along with the number of guards we have, we will time ourselves and surround them. I'm on my way!"

Atsushi ran after the three people keeping silent.

Before long, the three people were already behind the art museum. A lawn was spread on one of the areas, and sprinklers watered the other side.

The three people then unexpectedly went off the road and took a turn towards the building's entrance gate, suddenly vanishing from Atsushi's view.

They did not see Atsushi when they turned around the corner, nor did they look back once.

You could say that Atsushi was lucky. Atsushi hurried following the crooked thieves' path.

However, Atsushi's luck ended there.

"-?!"

It was a dead end, and no one was there.

The building's outer walls created a cavity. To the left and right were just white walls. There was also a wall ahead. All the walls were flat. There weren't even windows or gutters to enter in.

Atsushi grabbed his mobile phone with trembling hands and made a call.

"Kunikida-san."

"What?"

"I lost sight of them."

"WHAT?!"

It was strange. He was only a couple of seconds away from the thieves until he lost track of them. The walls were as tall as 4 stories. Even if you boasted any physical abilities, you couldn't do tricks to rush up these walls without leaving a clue behind. However, if in the case of a special power....

"It couldn't be..."

Atsushi placed both hands on the other side of the wall. Lowering his head, he gazed at the wall closely. Footprints were easy to leave on this side where soft grass grew, and Atsushi could clearly see the footprints he himself left.

Oh, he found theirs.

There were footprints that belonged to three people. Two of them belonging to adults, and one belonging to a child. They were the footprints belonging to the thieves, and even though the foot prints were placed in front of the walls, they continued forward without any missteps, and then...

They faded into the wall.

"Kunikida-san," Atsushi spoke on his mobile phone. "The other party seems to have already invaded the museum."

"What? Did you find the people you lost sight of?"

"No, but their footprints have disappeared straight towards the deadend, although the details are unknown..." Atsushi cut off his sentence and breathed, "There might be a person with an ability."

"An ability...?" Kunikida breathed over the phone. "There's a possibility someone possesses an ability?"

"Probably," Atsushi said while thinking. "From the looks of the footprints, it must have been an ability that goes through walls."

"Thieves that can slip through walls...!" Kunikida struck his tongue. "Shit, if that's true, we have to reconsider our entire security plan! We're headed there soon, but it will take us at least 5 minutes to arrive. As it is, you are the closest! Do whatever you can, enter the building and chase after those thieves!"

".......Yes!"

Atsushi gazed at the wall.

The building's entrance was located on the main street. But he didn't have time to go back to the entrance.

The walls were the height of four stories, and he had no clue where he should start grabbing. It's impossible to climb such a place in a mathematical second. One must use a special power.

Atsushi closed his eyes and began to breath.

He envisioned a tiger.

It was a white tiger. It had a huge oral cavity that can swallow humans, and strong limbs like steel melded together.

It's forelimbs were like big tree trunks, and its leaps could jump over a valley. It was a white tiger of violence, completely opposite to his weak self.

As the night cooled the earth, the weakness stored inside him, and a violent ferocity reared itself.

There was no other tiger like this anywhere in this world. It only existed inside him. Arrogant and timid. Proud and Ashamed. The more he tried to conceal his weaknesses, the more the tiger appeared on the other side.

Atsushi's hair was standing. His skin became wavy, and his bones began to grow abnormal. The tendon of his legs started to elongate, and his growth extended into his boots and clothes. A white coat sprouted out like a living thing and covered his legs. A voice like a beast leaked from Atsushi's throat.

The gait undoubtedly belonged to a tiger.

It's position was similar to that of felines' with it's knees bent. The long lower limbs sprung like a coil.

Firmly digging it's nails into the ground, it looked like it was standing on its tiptoes.

Atsushi jumped.

In one leap, Atsushi was halfway up the wall, and in one leap he was facing the building's white walls laterally. The wall's materials broke under his nails while he jumped, and he continued to jump to the opposite walls as he went further up.

While kicking against the walls, the tiger made a zigzag while rushing up them vertically.

If it was an ordinary person watching him, their eyes could not catch up to Atsushi's high speed as he rushed up the wall, and made one last jump before making a semiturn in the air and landed on the building's rooftop.

"......hu...."

Atsushi stopped gasping for air.

He then quickly explored his surroundings after using his tiger's ability to reach the rooftop.

Apart from the wind turbines that were used for the wind power generators lined up, it was a flat and empty rooftop. He needed to find a way down to the lower floor.

And he found exactly what he needed.

There was a colonnade from a huge exhibition that extended from the first floor and continued to the atrium. From the roof's edges, numbers of banners with museum events written on them hung below one another.

Atsushi jumped over the handrails.

In an instant, gravity pulled Atsushi down. He fell through the air. Giving a scream of despair, the tourists from the first floor noticed Atsushi from his commotion.

Atsushi twisted his body in the air and grabbed onto one of the banners. Immediately after, the shape of his wrists changed into a tiger's arm. The tiger's nails created an irritating sound as it tore through the banner vertically.

Ripping through the cloth, Atsushi used his power as a brake, and then landed onto the first floor. Immediately, he rolled forward using his knees and shoulders to disperse the shock.

Raising his head, the faces of many tourists stared at him startled. "Haha....I'm causing trouble." He smiled bitterly to suppress the awkwardness.

From there, he then ran towards where the thieves were headed.

At that time, his mobile phone began to ring. It was Kunikida. "I got in touch with London." Kunikida seemed impatient. "I know the thief’s true ability."

"Really?"

"There was information in Scotland Yard's Special Ability Criminal Department. The name of the bandit is "Nemo." He is a giant with a bald head, and he's stolen from all over the world and is wanted."

Atsushi quickly recalled the thieves' faces. It must have been the unreasonably optimistic man called "boss."

"As you've guessed, he has the ability to go through walls. Furthermore, anything he happens to touch - whether it be equipment or friends - can also pass through the walls. However, he cannot go through walls that are more than 5 centimeters. From there, we should be able to narrow down the invasion route to some extent."

Atsushi replied in agreement and once again turned to look forward.

He clenched his backteeth while running.

As expected the other party had an ability.

The thief "Nemo" had a very deceivingly careless behavior, but he is a formidable person.

Rather than going down the stairs, Atsushi kicked off from one of the walls and reached the 2nd floor in 10 seconds. It was already confirmed that there was a passage leading to other facilities in the basement.

He just needed to find the thieves after that.

However, there was no need to because suddenly, the thieves jumped out before him.

Atsushi was surprised, but the thieves were even more surprised.

Suddenly, before their eyes, an ultrafast youth appeared. Everyone's mouths hung open.

There were fireworks scattering in Atsushi's field of vision.

"Oou!!" The thieves boss's voice was projected clearly. "This island is pretty interesting. Look at that, Gab. That boy came from out of nowhere."

"That was amazing, boss!" The boy called Gab said enthusiastically. "There's bound to be extraordinary things happening whenever boss is around!"

For a moment, Atsushi wasn't able to move.

Of course it was painful crashing into the wall, but it was the matter of making a sudden encounter that left him unable to react immediately.

"Hey, boy. You're pretty interesting. Are you a tourist? How did you do that? Do it again."

"No, no, boss. How ever you look at it, it's really suspicious!" The middle-aged man in a business suit interjected. "It's not a speed that an ordinary person should possess... with that, if the person belonged to the guards then..."

Atsushi stiffened. This was bad.

"Are you an idiot?! There's no such thing as an organization using impoverished children for security! He must have entered in one of the artillery's set up and by mistake he blew himself away in one of the art museum exhibits!"

"I've never known such a person to do that...." The middle-aged man weakly said.

Atsushi stood up while supporting his staggering feet with his hands.

He had to make time for Kunikida and the rest to arrive and give aid. There were no clear chances of winning in a battle, so he had to stall for time by conversing with them to prevent them from leaving.

"Uh-uhm..."

"Huh?"

Somehow, After uttering just one word, the boss reacted.

"I...." Atsushi's head was spinning at a high speed. He had to somehow draw their attention. Anything would be okay.

His head kept spinning, and his mouth kept moving.

"You....You lost something!"Atsushi shouted.

"Hah?"

The boss scratched his neck.

"I'm an ordinary tourist with no special features, and you seemed to have lost something, and you seemed to be looking for it, so I followed you!" Atsushi's head was shaking as he rocked back and forth. He didn't know what was what.

The middle-aged man seemed to smell foul play as he watched Atsushi. "Boss....please, he seems really suspicious."

"Hmm, but the amazing and great phantom thief does not judge an opponent in an unreasonably doubtful manner."

The boss then turned to face towards Atsushi with a sturdy look. "So, what's the item that I lost, boy?"

"What?" Atsushi had not thought of anything beyond his plan, and unintentionally stared in puzzlement.

"Like you said, the thing that was lost..."

"Aa...ehh?" Atsushi was weak when it came to adlib. When trying to come up with contents and act and talk at the same time, it exceeded his mental tolerance. As a result, he becomes defenseless.

"T-that is...you, you should know that the best, don't you?!"

"Ha?"

All three bandits scratched their heads at the same time.

Atsushi wanted to die a little. However, he couldn't stop anymore even if he wanted to. He had to stall for time.

"When you lost it, you....you didn't notice it, but you certainly had it once." Atsushi was embarrassed as he continued to speak, his head was spinning, and he felt like he was going to die. Even if you know that you are on the road to hell, at least you only go through that road you chose once. "What's wrong? The thing that you valued so much, you lost it!"Atsushi spoke faintly. He didn't know what it was. Please, someone stop him. He was about to die in shame. Rather, someone kill him.

However, the boss's carelessness was beyond Atsushi's.

"Ooooh!!!" Atsushi's disorder was suddenly drowned out by the boss's cry. "You're absolutely right, boy! I gave my entire life up to become the greatest phantom thief! And yet, nevertheless, even now..!"

Watching the boss's exaggerated grief, Atsushi became a little calm.

"Boss! Please, calm down, boss!" The middle-aged man panicked and began to shake him. "Boss, even now, you're enough! You are desperately thinking of nothing else, but what else to steal! Stop talking on the spur of the moment already!"

"Oh...what?" The boss's lamentation quickly stopped. "If that's what you say...I guess you could say that."

"Hey, hey, you shortie!" The youngest colleague stepped forward with excitement. "Didn't you just try to trick our great boss? We should tie you up and throw you in the middle of the ocean, you white-haired bastard!"

Atsushi began to sweat. It seemed like everyone was being cautious now, and he didn't really remember how it all became like this.

"I am the great phantom theif's pupil! I am Gab of the swift wind! If you can dodge this dagger, then dodge it!" The boy took out a blue shining steel blade from his bosom. The drawn dagger was made to be concealed in one's pocket.

Alarm bells started ringing in Atsushi's head when he saw the cutlery.

"Wait, wait," Atsushi reflexively stepped away. "Let's talk this over, again!"

"It's useless!" The boy started rushing towards the center with the dagger.

He had no choice, but to fight.

Atsushi's tiger power began to pour into his arms, and instantly his forearm muscles began to bulge explosively. The tiger's hair blew out from under his clothes, and the sound of a tree twisting could be heard as his fingers turned into huge tiger nails.

Knives or bullets could not go through the tiger's hair. If he could prvent the dagger with his arms, he had a chance of winning.

Atsushi's train of thought stopped; however, when a piercing scream cried.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, WHAT IS THAT? IT'S SCARY. I'M SCARED!"

The boy retreated and fell on his butt.

".....Uh, pardon?"

"What is with that arm! Don't get any closer, stop right there! The hair just grew out of nowhere! Ahhh, I'm scared! I'm traumatized, sorry boss, but can I go home?!"

"Ahhhh, isn't this what I've been telling you, boss?!" Said the middle-aged man with a miserable face. "We shouldn't have brought Gab along! Of course, Gab's an excellent follower....but look at him, he loses his nerves so fast! He's the best pupil only because the other ones quit!"

"Eh."

Was that so?

Atsushi's eyes became tiny dots. Should he just advance?

"Well, I guess it can't be helped. So, you go, Bilgo."

"M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-ME? That's impossible! I'm only a technician! Technical support is my job! I disable surveillance cameras and extract security codes! Fighting is not in my contract." The middle-aged man called Bilgo lowered his head like a small animal and retreated.

"This is...."

Atsushi raised both his arms and shouted. "This is different from what I imagined!" His soul was crying.

"No matter how you imagined it, it's no longer a problem, since we can complete the request." A low voice resonated in the corridor. "Well done, Atsushi."

"Kunikida-san!" Atsushi shouted.

Behind Kunikida, armed security guards from the island came along.

"The head of the serial group of thieves, Nemo." Kunikida said out loud while reading his notebook. "While having a powerful ability that allows you to go through many walls, because of excessively irresponsible and reckless plans, your robberies fail every time. You exhaust your relationship with your subordinates, where only the people remaining with you are amateurs who have barely any work experience.

While repeatedly failing at your robberies and being captured, your nature of going through prison walls has been a repeated offense. The number of times you have made a jail break has been 89 times. While it's impossible to call you a master thief, we can honor you as the jailbreak king."

"Guuu...uuunu.." The boss's face stiffened. "Oi, you bastards, do something!"

"S-sorry boss, somehow I was careless."

"I'm nothing but an engineer. For that reason, I surrender, so please consider my case."

The young boy was crawling on the floor while the middle-aged man raised both of his hands in defeat towards Kunikida.

Atsushi finally caught up with the situation. Apparently, Atsushi had thought that originally the robbers were 100 times worse than they actually were.

"Atsushi, please contact the client- the captain." Kunikida narrowed his eyes. "We can finally pull the curtains over this fun game of tag with these pleasant thieves." Kunikida took one step as the circle of security guards surrounding them also narrowed gradually. "Boss...boss! I'm sorry...I'll hold them back, so please run away!" The young boy said in a hurried voice. The boss gave no response.

He merely stood there on his thick legs while glaring at his surroundings. "Escape on my own?" There was no hint of impatience in his voice. "The great mysterious Lupin neither had an ability nor a subordinate, and he still performed thefts that, even now, are too difficult for me, and, so he remains in the hearts of people. I knew long ago that I couldn't be like him."

The boss's eyes stared quietly at a point in the air. His eyes grabbed hold of something from far away. "I'm different from Phantom Thief Lupin. Because of that, I have to hold onto something that he doesn't have, keep it in mind, and lay a foundation to ascend into becoming a great Phantom Thief.”

Atsushi noticed something suddenly. The boss was slouching just now. His face was hard, a shadow from a light fell from the ceiling's fluorescent light. "My ability is the ability to slip through objects less than 5 centimeters in thickness - in other words, if they are objects of a certain thickness, it means that they can stay in an overlapping state without interfering with my body."

Atsushi watched.

Something was coming out from the boss's thick chest. There was no sound, and something fell through the boss as if his body did not exist. It was about 5 centimeters thick. The width was as big as a book, it was a square metal plate. Something fell through the boss's body. Atsushi and the others were surprised; their reactions were delayed.

"I definitely will not abandon my subordinates!"

"Bo-!" Kunikida shouted. "Bomb! Get down!"

A flash of light filled the corridor.

Atsushi took off quickly with the tiger's reflex. Kunikida took the security guards and pushed them down; they all lay on the floor together. Fierce smoke and wind blew through the area.

"Geha....ha.." Atsushi coughed in the smoke as he got up. The strong sound of the explosion pierced Atsushi's ears and rung to the center of his brain. Because of the white smoke, he couldn't see what state the corridor was in.

The boss applied his ability of going through walls, and reversed it. He slipped and hid the bomb in his body. No physical examination or observation could find out if he had a bomb inside him with the ability. That is probably how he brought some work tools to the island as well.

Even so, there were no major bruises or pain. Atsushi quickly inspected his own body. He wasn't bleeding from anywhere. If it was detonated nearby, then this small damage shouldn't be possible.

”Damn!　It was a distraction!" Kunikida yelled from the other side of the smoke. "They probably ran to the other side of the wall!"

What Kunikida said was right. He had checked where the thieves were last, and no one was there. There was only the cold floor.

They escaped.

"I'll go after them!" Atsushi shouted back to Kuninkida. He explored the wall by hand due to his vision being blocked by the smoke. The underground walls were thick. If Nemo had escaped with his two subordinates, he should have had his eyes on the wall's thickness beforehand. Fumbling around, Atsushi immediately found something. It was an automatic side door. It's a door painted in the same color as the wall, but it seemed like the thickness was thinner than the other walls that he had touched. There was a high chance of escaping beyond this door. However, it was locked, and it would not open even if you pushed or pulled it.

"Kunikida-san! They might be beyond this door!" Atsushi cried while the smoke was fading. "Please tell me how to open the door!"

"It's probably a security door for certification ceremonies." Kunikida came running furiously. "Use the silver coin on the door's certification board."

Atsushi then remembered the silver coins that were given to them when entering the island. They had an identification transmitter built-in, and they should be able to open places where tourists couldn’t go.

Atsushi took out the silver coin from his bosom and in a hurry brought it close to the door. However, a dull electronic beep resounded, and the door did not appear to open. "Show it to me!" Kunikida approached the door. "...This is strange. I can't even open the door with my silver coin."

"Please, back away." One of the guards came close. "No one is allowed to enter that door."

"......What?" Kunikida turned around and looked back at him. "What do you mean?"

"The destination is a special confidential area, and only people with permission can go in. Please get away from it."

"Get away?" Kunikida's eyes narrowed in anger. "Hey, we were hired to catch the bandits who are running away as we speak. Are there any other secrets or things that need permission? If you're so obedient, open it and catch them!"

"We are not given the authority to enter as well." Somehow, the situation was becoming suspicious.

During the initial explanation of their duties, there was no word about the Detective Agency being unable to enter an area. Even with this situation, it was not the time when thieves were escaping now. "WE'RE MAKING NO PROGRESS. Atsushi, contact the captain! Hurry so we can have this door open and enter inside!"

"The captain also has no authority," The security guard said without expression. "If you need confirmation, you're free to call him."

Atsushi took out his mobile phone. Even though they were underground, there were radio signals. Looking through his phone, he pressed the captain's contact. "Kunikida-san," Atsushi said while listening to the phone. "I can't connect to the captain."

"What?"

No matter how long they waited, the client was not picking up the phone, however...

"Hey, do you hear something?" Kunikida said while looking around. Atsushi started to hear the sound as well. It was a strange electronic sound -- the sound of a chalmera ringing from ramen stalls.

"It's the captain's phone that's ringing..."

"From the other side of the door?" Kunikida said while touching the wall. At that time, the door opened automatically suddenly.

"Hugh!?" Kunikida said in panic.

Beyond the door, there were soldiers.

They weren't just soldiers. They had large automatic rifles with bulletproof equipment. There were more than 10 of them. One could not see their expressions because their faces were covered with bulletproof masks. "Beyond this point, you are prohibited from entering this area. Leave immediately."

"What did you say?"

"Leave, you have only one warning. If you do not obey instructions, then it will be considered appropriate to use firearms.” They hoisted their automatic rifles; their black muzzles shone dully.

More than 10 fully armed soldiers pointed at Kunikida and were ready to shoot at any time. The intimidation the soldiers emitted was the equivalent of plunging headfirst in a Lion's mouth.

However, Kunikida did not change the tone of his voice nor was he frightened. "I also have a warning, and I'll say it once. We are a detective agency who was assigned to capture thieves for a client. Even if this island is an extraterritorial property, there are extraterritorial laws for pointing a gun at a general member of the public, and don't think that I will allow you to threaten one." Kunikida's entire body emanated a murderous aura. The opportunity to capture the thieves was being blocked due to irrational reasons, and it seemed like he was considerably angry.

"Hoho, this person has a backbone." An unexpected voice came from behind the soldiers. "Everyone, rescind your weapons. There's no use trying to threaten this person with a gun." As soon as the hoarse voice ordered the soldiers, the soldiers pointed their guns down. They moved perfectly like a machine.

When the soldiers moved aside and made a clearing, an old man dressed in a military uniform appeared.

He was a small old man. When surrounded by strong soldiers, his stature stood out even more. He had a mild expression and a fluffy gray beard running down his wrinkly face. If he were not wearing military clothes, he looked like he would belong in the country side as some teacher.

"You're the head of this group of soldiers?" Kunikida asked in an angry voice. "We are pursuing thieves, and I would like you to allow us to enter this area."

"Well, if you aren't a young man with a considerable spirit. If you trained with a battalion, you would make a good soldier." The old man laughed with eyes similar to that of a teacher's. "However, I cannot approve of this entry, unfortunately-- but, if it's the case of a gold coin then..."

"You possess silver coins that are given to the general staff. Besides that, on this island, you must be in possession of a gold coin for confidential areas. If a person enters this area without a gold coin and information leaks outside, then he or she can be immediately shot to the death. This is the island's absolute code of conduct. The leaders of your country have signed a consent form."

Atsushi stared at the silver coin in his hand. Certainly, ordinary tourists received copper coins. In other words, there were many places that could be entered depending on which coins: copper, silver, and gold in order.

"However, let it be known, out of respect for your sense of justice, that the thieves have been caught."

"Is that so?" Kunikida said surprised.

"The inside of the confidential area is strictly guarded by surveillance videos, and the amount of soldiers in here is incomparable to the ones outside, so be relieved."

Kunikida glared at the man for a few seconds before slowly speaking. "If that's the case, let us confirm from the client. Would you please give me your name?"

"There is no name to be given. I am called 'Colonel' by everyone here."

"Colonel...You're certainly a military employ."

Atsushi once again looked at the old man's face. Although he had the expression of a school teacher, there were some white wounds that have faded in the old man's face if looked at closely. His shoulder width was solid, and was indicative of having been forged in the past despite his small size.

Suddenly, a wretched smell came through.

Atsushi's five senses become sharp when using his tiger ability. He is able to pick up sounds and smells that no one can usually notice. The tiger's senses must have stayed when he had transformed.

The tiger's nose caught the smell when he had sniffed. He had smelled this scent many times after entering the detective agency, but still he could never get used to it. It was an unpleasant scent, it was....

"It can't be..."

Atsushi darted quickly without thinking. He forcibly shoved himself through the confidential area blocked by the soldiers.

"Hey, what are you doing!?"

Ignoring the soldiers' shouting, Atsushi looked around the area. There was another corridor that continued from the entrance. There was little difference between the place and its interior.

"Get away from the door! Do you want to be shot dead?!" The soldiers' warnings were ignored by Atsushi.

Atsushi's eyes then caught onto a color.

There was a red color within the confidential area. The red stretched tightly in the corridor, and scattered from the wall to the ceiling. It was definitely the source of the unpleasant smell. "That is...!" Atsushi's eyes widened. It was no mistake. There was a brilliant red on a white wall, and a body lying in the center.

There was blood and a corpse.

"Get down!"

Atsushi was brought down by a soldier. Forcibly pushed by a firearm, Atsushi staggered and fell on his back.

Kunikida ran to him.

"Hey Atsushi, are you ok?"

"Kunikida-san...." Atsushi said dumbfounded. He saw it for a moment, but there was no way it was a mistake. "There was a dead body."

"What?" Kunikida widened his eyes. "It couldn't be...was it the thieves?"

When Atsushi instantly smelled the blood, he had also thought that, however...

"No..." Atsushi raised his head. The image was burned into his mind.

"Well....did you see it boy?" The old man called Colonel gave a shrewd face. "As I said earlier, the information in this area is confidential, and there is a code of conduct that we cannot abandon regardless of what the situation is. It's too bad...it won't be easy for you to go outside."

"What? Atsushi, what did you see?"

Blue clothes resembling those of a repairman. A tired face. The sound of a chalmera ringing from a ramen stand. With a faint voice, Atsushi spoke.

"It was the client....the captain is dead."

#55minutes translation #my translation:55 #bungou stray dogs #bsd #55 minutes #very dead #will always be very dead after huge projects like this

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contueor · 6 years

Note

“Dude I’m in so much pain right now.”

Fingers found a purchase around the edge of the door frame. Rashomon leaning in, supporting his weight against it. Perhaps the words had been thoughts, or maybe spoken out loud. Sometimes he wasn’t sure one way or the other, especially when his host’s back was to him like this. But truly what did it matter? Those words had come from Ryunosuke in some pathway and either way, they were true.

Whether or not the black beast was meant to hear them was immaterial as well. He had, and worst of all he had felt their meaning radiating from the male. A pain almost unknown to him. He couldn’t quite explain it. Physical pain was so familiar, hurt, fatigue, the burning and aching of muscles. That he could understand, he could solve that. This?

It was like a fire, burning in unnatural light within his love. A festering green flame that licked at his thoughts and heart. Something the demon didn’t know how to combat as there was no physical source, nothing he could touch or heal. At least not that he knew. But that sure as hell didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. Ryu was in pain, and all the words that screamed inside his head, the demon could hear.

“Ryunosuke.”

The voice came the same moment his body straightened up, pushing off into the dimly lit study. It was soft and gentle, announcing himself as well as putting a block, an anchor in the words that raced inside the man’s head. Something to seal his own place there before he continued.

Given barely a glance the demon continued in, moving over to take a delicate brush from the desk. Slipping it into his pocket. With a silent grace he moved over beside his host. Coming to rest on the floor before him, knees against the hard wood and resting back on his haunches.

A hand moved, reaching to firmly grasp the balled up fist that rest on thin legs. His own digits enveloping the delicate fingers. Wrapping around so that only his were visible. Thumb silently gliding back and forth against pale skin. He took a moment before raising his eyes, just watching the two hands that seemed to now meld into one. When the ruby gaze finally did lift, peering through the messy curtain of black, he was almost unsure if it would be met.

“I guess it’s almost unfair, having your thoughts and feelings felt so easily sometimes. Can’t say I mind it too much though. You always seem to know when I need a little help.”

He shifted his weight a little, scooting body to rest against the legs that reached the floor from the chase. Giving him the ability to rest his free elbow on the mattress.

“Only problem, I can’t actually read your mind, just how you feel. Well, save the really intense thoughts. But I guess I don’t get a hint sometimes to what caused you to be upset, only that you are. Doesn’t matter though, wont change what I do.”

Rashomon gave a little puff of air through his nose, a frustrated sigh.

“That’s a lie this time, isn’t it? I can tell you’re pissed about something I did or was involved in. Else you’d be a little more open with your thoughts. And yea, I can’t completely address it if I don’t know what it is. But hell, you make me feel better when I’m too damn stubborn to talk, so why not? I can do the same too.”

Fingers from the free hand tapped at the chase, trying to gather his thoughts. The demon wasn’t good with words, especially not like this man. But he wasn’t about to let that stop him. Ryunosuke fought through so much, with and many times without his direct help. Sure he was there, but it was the host that suffered. He was just along for the ride, aiding and giving his power, but he wasn’t the one to put himself out there time and time again. This might not be a battle, or even a training against impossible odds and cruel tactics, but mentally what really was the difference?

“Whatever hurts. It’s lying to you. Whatever the hell that thought that’s in your head. It’s just false words and ideas. I can prove it. The proof is in the pain. If it hurts, it’s not true, it’s not me. Because I would never fucking hurt you ever, Ryunosuke. And I’ll destroy anything or anyone that makes you think differently.”

His hand constricted around his love’s own. Gently squeezing it. The action was almost unconscious, happening gradually, more and more as he spoke.

“I’ve never understood how I fell in love with you, but I do. If I know anything it’s that I do love you more than anything. There’s no other possible explanation for the feeling I have. And it’s so fucking annoying that I don’t know how to act when I’m in love with someone. Hell I don’t think either of us do sometimes. So…”

Rashomon had to pause, thinking back to what he had just spoken before. The contradictory nature of some of it. He wasn’t lying, he didn’t think he could possibly lie to this man. But he was wrong about something, wasn’t he?

“Shit, I guess that means something I do could hurt you, couldn’t it? Because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”

He had glanced away, seeming clearly angry with himself. But his hand never left the one he held so tightly. His mind now just as noisy and upset as the first man’s, only this was aimed at the creature himself.

“If you feel that, if something I do ever does cause you to hurt or worry or just makes you question me in any way. It’s only because I’m not used to this.”

Whipping his head back around Rashomon pushed himself up to his knees once more. Facing the man, pressed up between his legs with both hands firmly cupping his cheeks. He wasn’t going to let either of them look away, not this time. That same anger had turned to a fierce determination, causing his eyes to crackle and spark even more than normal.

“I love you, Akutagawa Ryunosuke. Even more than that damn word can convey! There’s not a human word for the love and loyalty and total devotion I have for you. Hell, because no one has ever lived like we have, no one else could possibly have this connection or level of trust and understanding. Don’t forget that ever. You’ve trusted me this long with your life, give me the trust for your heart too. I promise I will do everything I can to make you happy. And if I hurt you, believe in me. Tell me, let me fix my stupid actions or assure you that it’s just in your head. Whatever it is…,”

“I swear it’s not for lack of loving you.”

@skullcrxsher

#long post #like really long....#*stares up from the floor*#I couldn't stop him #*dies #*dies harder*#it's almost dash commentary too #isn't it?#jfc rashomon #skullcrxsher #( & ) Waiting for the rain to end ( Ryunosuke )#( & ) Love the Little Things of Each Day ( Ryu/Rash )#( & ) Rising™ ( ic )

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izanyas · 7 years

Text

Owe No Debt (Part I)

BABY’S FIRST SOUKOKU FIC

Rating: M Words: 7,100 Warnings: referenced child abuse.

Owe No Debt Part I

Chuuya woke up alone in the middle of the forest that Corruption had leveled. The first conscious breath that he dragged in ached, and it came out around Dazai's name with no need for thought, crawling out of his cracked lips before he was aware of it.

"Fuck," he said next, louder, and that hurt as well.

He must have been asleep for a while, because the blood had caked over his hands and forearms already. Chuuya rubbed his left wrist against a patch of nearby grass, until he could see the bruises marbling his skin. Blue and black.

The tips of his fingers always hurt the most after using Corruption. He pushed himself into a sitting position with his fists rather than the flat of his hands, and then bit his tongue as he stood up, every muscles in his body sore for the first time in years.

His clothes were folded on the ground, his gloves resting gently against the black of his coat. Dazai might as well have left a thank you note.

Chuuya couldn't help but smile.

His clothes were ruined anyway, except for the coat and gloves, so he rubbed the rest of the blood off on his pants. His face had been wiped free of it by a hand not his own while he slept.

Chuuya bent down to pick up the coat. It was awkward, balancing everything in his hands while trying not to bend any knuckle, but he managed somewhat. A quick glance to the barrack where Q had been kept was enough to tell him that he would find nothing there anymore; the thing had been mostly razed in the explosion that had gotten rid of the Guild's monster.

Taking a breath in preparation, he plucked his phone out of the coat's inner pocket. It seemed to be working, despite the shocks it had taken—this coat was very good. Chuuya still winced with every press of his thumb on the screen, and again when he had to hold it against his ear.

"Nakahara-san," came Higuchi's tense voice.

"Yeah. What are the news?"

"Are you all right? We've been waiting for you to return for—"

"I'm fine, Higuchi," Chuuya cut in. He raised his free hand with the goal of running it through his hair—before thinking better of it.

He really wasn't used to dealing with the aftermath anymore.

"I'll be back within an hour. Q's with the agency by now." The thought stung, but Chuuya had been more or less ready for the possibility since Mori sent him anyway. "Tell me what's going on with us."

It was an effort, sounding self-assured rather than exhausted and in more pain than he'd felt in years, but it paid off. He practically heard Higuchi straighten up in her seat to answer him. "Yes, sir. There's been no fight outside of your own confrontation, though I can't tell about the ADA. But…"

Chuuya frowned. "But what?"

"Akutagawa-senpai is missing."

He gave up, then, and did run his fingers through the sweat-sticky hair at his nape. "Well, shit."

The rest was out of Chuuya's hands entirely.

News of the Guild's whale-like ship scheduled to fall onto Yokohama reached him quickly enough. No one knew who had given the information to them, whether it was the agency or a traitor within the Guild; Chuuya ignored the stench of Dazai all over them and didn't waste time asking Mori for orders either. Mori knew his worth in keeping their numbers tight and would have sent him down to deal with them anyway, so Chuuya went, regardless of the pain radiating through his body and his still-blackened hands. The skin of his fingers burned inside his gloves every time he moved. Chuuya hoped in spite of hope that he would have no need to fight today.

It wouldn't matter anyway, if the city burned.

Chuuya gave his orders and spent the rest of the day on the rooftop of headquarters, looking at the shimmer that Moby Dick drew against the clouds. Something this massive couldn't make itself completely invisible. Sunlight poured through it as it would broken glass; when Chuuya looked from the corner of his eyes, the whale's silhouette appeared to him in flecks of red, blue, green light.

"Are you worried?"

Chuuya turned his head sideways.

Kouyou crossed the length of the rooftop in long, easy strides, stopping right beside him. She took a glance at the thin strip of bruised skin between Chuuya's glove and his sleeve, and her lips thinned.

"Worrying doesn't change anything," Chuuya replied. "Either the thing will fall or it won't."

"You're saying we should put our trust into that fool?"

He smiled at her, brash and honest. "Akutagawa? Probably not. I doubt he's up there alone, though."

Kouyou leaned against the fence that Chuuya was sitting on. She looked over her shoulder briefly, down into the fall promised under Chuuya's feet. When she looked at him again, her face looked carved in stone.

Chuuya kept his smile in place. "Don't bother, ane-san," he said lightly. "I already know what you want to say."

"You shouldn't expect anything out of these people," she declared anyway. "Chuuya. You shouldn't expect anything out of Dazai."

"I don't fucking expect anything out of him."

She took hold of his wrist, her fingers digging into the blood stains and burst vessels. Chuuya didn't make any sound despite the pain, didn't even flinch as she drew blood with the tip of her long, painted nails. "You went out of control," she accused, venomous.

Chuuya shook her off. Let himself fall on the other side of the fence, toes beyond the edge of the roof.

He had never feared falling, for as long as he had been alive. There was no reason to.

"I did," he replied, shrugging. "It was necessary."

"Dazai told you it was necessary."

And he was right, he almost answered. "Our opponent almost made it out alive against Corruption," he said. "It was necessary, ane-san."

Kouyou was silent for a moment. The day was nearing its end, afternoon sky darkening to evening, red spilling from the west like blood over the city. In this kind of light she always looked like her whole body was an open wound.

Chuuya looked away. Up. Wishing there was a way to lower the whale's defenses so he could fly up and destroy it himself. He had the power for it.

He wouldn't mind dying while doing it.

"Dazai will not come back to us," Kouyou said, and Chuuya felt his blood turn hot and thick in his veins.

"Thank fuck for that."

"So you say. Yet after four years of acting as if you couldn't be happier that he's gone, you entrust your life to him the moment he's by your side."

Kouyou's eyes were piercing as a hawk's. She didn't have a hair out of place, not even right after coming back from being held hostage by the agency; her kimono folded around her as neatly as if she had just committed murder.

She said, "We can't afford to lose an executive, Chuuya."

Chuuya exhaled through his teeth. He jumped over the fence and back to the safer side of the rooftop, weightless over the hand he put on top of it. The contact was still enough to make pain race up his arm.

He made a show of dusting his coat once he was next to Kouyou. She watched him, eager and afraid, and he knew that her own hand must be wrapped around the handle of her blade inside those wide sleeves of hers.

"You're upset," Chuuya declared. He had the satisfaction of seeing lose her composure for the barest of seconds then, as her face tensed. "Because of that girl of yours. The one that got away."

"Kyouka," Kouyou murmured.

"That's right. Kyouka." Chuuya had only ever seen the girl in passing, locked as she always was in Kouyou's quarters or hanging in Akutagawa's shadow. He remembered how her eyes looked, however. "I'm not some little girl you need to keep a watch on," he said lowly.

"Sometimes it feels like you are."

Chuuya's foot sank into the concrete when he stepped toward her, just enough to break it around the sole of his shoe—just enough to make the building shake under them. Kouyou paled but didn't bow down, not even when Chuuya walked close enough that she could probably feel his words against her face.

"The debt I owe you is immense," Chuuya said to her. "I will always be grateful for the chance you gave me. But you will not disrespect me like this again."

He felt the tip of her blade against the crook of his wrist like a bug's bite. He raised his hand without looking down, to avoid having blood stain his clothes once more.

It took a moment, but Kouyou relented. She huffed softly, lips stretching into a distant smile, blade sheathing itself back into her sleeve with only a whisper. "I do worry about you. We always seem to lose the people we thought we wouldn't. Dazai, Kyouka… It seemed so unthinkable for them to leave."

"Are you afraid I'll leave?" Chuuya laughed as he said it. "Ane-san, where the fuck would I go?"

"I remember a time when you would blush after cursing in front of me," Kouyou replied disapprovingly. Then, somber: "I am not afraid that you will leave. I am afraid that one day you will let Corruption ravage everything around you, and Dazai will not see fit to stop it ravaging you."

Chuuya didn't reply. He watched Moby Dick's glimmer in the red sky from the corner of his eyes and tried to recall those same musings in himself. The moment of white-hot fear the night before when Dazai had looked at him and let him choose.

He couldn't, though. All that came to his mind was the feeling of Dazai's cold fingers wrapped around his skin. Dazai's voice telling him to rest. Dazai breaking him free of the taint in his blood and making relief bloom in him, so much more powerful now than when he still took Dazai's presence for granted.

Kouyou sighed. Her hand reached up, and Chuuya let her run her fingers through his hair without a word. "This might well be our last hour on this earth," she said.

"It might."

"Would you have any regrets if it were?"

Chuuya chuckled. "Are you trying to get a confession out of me?" Kouyou's smile didn't reach her eyes. It never did. Now, though, it seemed misery clung to her skin like the sun's color to her hair. So Chuuya dislodged her hand from his nape and squeezed it between his aching fingers. "I don't give a shit about regrets."

"Yes," she replied, "you always were a headstrong boy."

He let go of her hand. "Now you're the one sounding like you're saying farewell," he mocked, staring into her eyes.

"Chuuya."

He hadn't heard his own name come out of anyone's mouth so softly in years. Not since taking the executive's seat that Dazai had vacated four years ago. Kouyou had latched onto nothing after that, and then onto the demon girl who bore the same ability as herself.

Chuuya did not have time in him for regrets. His life was a story of survival, of striving forward, of not looking back; it was dealing with teenage frustration by becoming the best martial artist in the mafia and it was doing what Dazai had done a hundred times better, so the bitter looks would stop following him, so Mori would stop looking at him in furious disappointment. It was picking up the pieces that Dazai had made of Akutagawa and giving the boy a job he could lead with minimal restraint.

No, Chuuya did not have regrets. Regrets were always Dazai's thing.

He watched the whale's see-through shape fall down toward the harbor with Kouyou standing still by his side. He watched a government plane crash into it from above, destroying it. He saw the great machine's belly hit the water, too far away to cause more than a minor flooding of the shore, killing no one.

He realized that he hadn't doubted for one second that Dazai would find a way to stop it.

Mori Ougai took over the aging, insane boss a week before Chuuya's second birthday spent between the walls of the port mafia's headquarters. He held an inheritance ceremony on the twenty-eighth of April, during a cold spring evening that left the women in attendance shivering, goosebumps riding over the skin of their bare arms.

It was during that ceremony that Chuuya met the boy-prodigy.

He had seen Dazai before. They had crossed paths in hallways, running errands, carrying messages. He had seen the other in the doctor's company every time doctoring was needed. He had looked into Dazai's eyes and found them lacking, and he had never thought about him more.

Chuuya left the ballroom where the ceremony was taking place long before his time was due. He opened one of the reinforced glass panels leading to the balconies outside, crawled to his knees, and made his way unseen behind the legs of all the guests. He stood up once he was out of sight and made himself weightless, until his feet stopped touching the floor he walked on and he could feel the air caught between his back and the façade of the building. Higher, higher, so that he had all of the city spread open beneath his feet, so that the expanse of gleaming water ahead shone like fire in the sunset and burned itself into his eyes.

And then something took him by the wrist, and he fell.

Weight settled itself back into Chuuya's body with violence. He opened his mouth but couldn't even scream; his heart had risen to his throat and choked off all of his airways. In the eternity between his race downward and the sudden halt it took, Chuuya felt, more than anything, the emptiness where his ability should be. It was as if he were trying to touch something without being able to feel it, no matter how strongly his fingers pushed, no matter how much of his own skin he split open in the process.

His shoulder screamed with pain when the resistance at his wrist cut his fall short. For a long moment Chuuya could do nothing more than dangle, eyes shut close and a helpless sob pressing against his throat, spilling bitter on his tongue.

He let it out, and he looked up.

The boy was the one holding him up. Both of his hands were holding onto Chuuya's wrist, and his face was red and sweaty from the effort. Chuuya looked at him with his mouth open, unable to speak any words.

"You might want to start climbing," the boy said, voice strained. "Before I drop you."

Chuuya closed his mouth.

He grabbed the upper edge of the topmost window of headquarters, right under the roof where the boy appeared to be lying down. Every push of his muscles ripped another terrified moan out of him—only adrenaline prevented his grip from trembling and letting go altogether. Chuuya hoisted himself onto the roof, blood pumping harder through him than he had ever experienced. The shaking started as his knees found traction onto the concrete and he crawled under the barrier. He kneeled there, a few feet away from the edge, completely unable to think.

The boy wasn't so still. He crawled back toward where Chuuya was sitting—slowly, until he looked sure enough that he wouldn't accidentally fall off. Then he sat onto his behind and peered at Chuuya through his hair, curious and amused.

Chuuya gasped in a breath before speaking. "T-Thank—"

"Oh, don't thank me," the boy cut in. His smile widened. "I'm the one who made you fall."

Chuuya could only stare at him in silence.

The boy chuckled, and said, "Sorry about that. I saw you floating there and I got so envious, I just had to do it."

"What the fuck?" Chuuya didn't realize that he had spoken at all until his words drew another smile out of the boy, colder and even less inviting than the first.

"My ability," the boy continued, "is to cancel other abilities."

There was silence. Chuuya's eyes were burning, watering, with how hard he refused to blink; his body was still caught in the stupor and relief of the previous minute, sluggish, slow; but the smile on the boy's face didn't disappear, and when Chuuya tried to press onto the ground and make it crack, his fingers trembled against it uselessly.

The boy laughed.

"Give it back," Chuuya gasped. "Give it back—"

"It'll be back in a moment, don't worry."

"What the fuck," Chuuya repeated. "I could've died."

"But you didn't." There was nothing but honest glee on the other's face. No remorse and no worry. "Who knows, the drop from here is so long—you might even have been able to summon it in time to stop yourself from crashing."

"You don't know that!"

The boy rose to his feet with laughter racking through him. Red sunlight hit his face once he was up, and for the first time Chuuya noticed the stained bandages around his wrists and neck. The boy's eyes were still stuck to him—looking down on him, mirth as cold as ice shining in them. Chuuya jumped to his feet and found, regretfully, that he couldn't make the rooftop tremble under his feet yet.

"You're crazy," he declared. Annoyingly enough, the other boy was a good head taller than him. "Do you attempt to kill everyone you fucking meet?"

"Do you swear like this when in ane-san's presence?" the boy replied, and Chuuya shut his mouth, face warm. The boy chuckled again. "I've been curious as to who you are. Nakahara Chuuya… I could only find out your name." His eyes roamed over Chuuya's body quickly. "Hard to believe you're not twelve."

Chuuya saw red. "Fuck off," he replied. "Who the fuck are you? Acting so smug just because the boss changed, huh?"

"I'm supposed to find myself a partner," he replied. "To start going on missions."

"Is that how you're going about it?" Chuuya scoffed. "No thanks."

"I haven't asked anything yet, pipsqueak."

Chuuya's foot moved forward on its own, still with only his body's weight for strength. The boy watched him approach without losing his smile.

Chuuya stopped a foot away, eyes trained onto the boy's hands, remembering the feeling of falling to his own death.

"Smart," the boy murmured.

"I can tell when I'm being made fun of," Chuuya retorted. "What do you want?"

The boy watched him. It was a piercing sort of scrutiny, the kind Chuuya only ever went through when he visited Kouyou of when running errands for the Black Lizard squad leader. Chuuya held the other's looks without flinching—and the boy smiled again, eyes alight with interest. "My name is Dazai," he said. "I'd like you to become my partner, Nakahara Chuuya."

Dazai extended a bruised hand forward.

Chuuya eyed it silently.

"You want me to explain my reasoning," Dazai sighed, once he understood that Chuuya wouldn't budge. "Fishing for compliments?"

"Considering punching you in the face, more like."

"If you can reach it." Dazai still looked like he thought Chuuya was beneath him. It wasn't even because of the comments on Chuuya's height; it was all in his eyes, uncaring even through his enjoyment. It made the short hairs at Chuuya's nape rise on his skin as if someone had pressed an ice cube against his spine.

"Why should I want to partner up with you?" Chuuya asked between his teeth. "There's nothing in it for me."

"Mmh, perhaps not now. When I'm an executive, however—"

Chuuya laughed, bright and sudden. His chest deflated with it and his eyes burned with unspent tears—he had to turn away from the other so he could wipe them with the back of his hands.

"That's not very nice," Dazai commented. "I was being serious."

"An executive?" Chuuya couldn't even pretend to take him seriously.

But Dazai didn't seem fazed by it at all. If anything, his face relaxed. "Boss Mori has very high hopes for me," he said. "I anticipate that I'll be climbing the ranks very quickly."

"You're what, fifteen?"

"Fourteen."

"Fourteen," Chuuya repeated, lips stretched wide enough to show his teeth. "And I should invest my time with you for no reason but because you deluded yourself into thinking that maybe, in fifteen years, you'll be a fucking executive."

"Less than fifteen years," Dazai replied easily. "Five or six at the most."

"Right."

Dazai shook his head a little, so that his hair would stop falling into his eyes. They weren't black, Chuuya noticed then; they were brown, and the warmth in them was belied by an edge that he had only ever seen on the likes of Kouyou or Hirotsu. Staring into them for too long made his skin shiver as if wanting to jump off his bones.

He didn't dislike it. That was maybe the most surprising thing of all.

Dazai took a step forward. He was practically breathing down Chuuya's face, now, but Chuuya didn't move back. He threw back his head to stare right back at the other.

"I'm very close to Boss Mori," Dazai said. Chuuya could feel how the air moved out of his mouth—his face warmed before he could help it, but Dazai didn't comment on it, simply kept going as he was. "I really shouldn't be talking about this to anyone, let alone one of Kouyou's errand boys, but… I assure you that associating with me will only make it easier for you to make yourself known."

"Maybe I don't want to be known," Chuuya lied. "Maybe I'm fine being a messenger."

"Please"—and Dazai's voice was so dismissive, Chuuya felt it crawl over his skin unpleasantly—"this would be the most disappointing thing I've seen of you yet."

Chuuya took a step back. "You need to work on your people skills, Dazai."

Dazai laughed again. His voice broke for a second, making his face flush ever-so-slightly—Chuuya smirked in his direction once the other looked back. At least his voice hadn't cracked in more than a year.

The other cleared his throat, hand over his mouth but not hiding the blush on his cheeks. "I've been looking for someone with a good ability," he said. "Seeing you earlier, I thought, why not? Gravity manipulation seems very useful."

Chuuya hit the ground with his foot, and the concrete cracked under his sole as if made of glass. Finally. "Yeah," he replied.

"You're my age too. You have no influence. You wouldn't hinder me."

"Boy, do you tempt me."

"See?" Dazai smiled, condescending. "An adequate match. We could do great things together, Nakahara Chuuya."

"Just Chuuya's fine."

"All right. Don't call me by my first name, though."

"I don't want to."

"Still, you're a bit of a mystery, aren't you," Dazai continued thoughtfully. "The most I could gather out of Hirotsu-san was that you begged your way into the mafia. Why's that? Is Chuuya even your real name?"

Chuuya's lips thinned. The hot animosity in his veins dwindled to cool suspicion, and Dazai missed none of it, his hard eyes peering into Chuuya's as if he wanted to split open his head and look directly inside. "That's none of your business," he answered.

"Fair enough," Dazai nodded.

Chuuya looked away. The sun was almost gone now, and the bay's waters looked nearly black. Because he and Dazai were standing so high up, the light still reached them, glowing around them the way Chuuya knew he glowed with his powers.

It was as though they were the only ones awake anymore. The last ones touched by daylight. The thought kept the chill of the height and evening at bay.

"You're interested," Dazai declared. Chuuya didn't look at him and didn't bother denying it. "You know I'm right."

"You probably say this to every idiot you try to rope into following you around like a dog."

"You're right, in a way," the other replied. "Because you're the only one I've asked."

And Chuuya couldn't help the tightness in his chest and the big, empty gap in him that always looked for praise. "Fuck you," he replied, heart beating fast. "I'm not so easy that I'll fall for that."

"Are you easy in other ways?"

Chuuya's foot smashed onto the rooftop, making the ground crack open under Dazai's feet—Dazai stumbled, just for a second, only quick enough to find his footing again.

It was enough for Chuuya.

His fist connected with Dazai's cheek, weighed only by his own physical strength; but Chuuya's physical strength was more than enough for him to feel the shock to Dazai's skull and how his skin burst beneath his knuckles. Dazai fell sideways, his smart mouth gasping now; when the whole of his body connected with the ground, Chuuya's heart soared with bone-deep satisfaction.

Dazai spluttered. He spat out pink-tinged saliva onto the ground. When he looked up at Chuuya, his eyes were wide with shock.

"Next time you try to know shit about me," Chuuya said, jaw aching around his smile and teeth bared, "make sure to ask around the dojo next to ane-san's house."

"You—"

Dazai, for the first time, seemed speechless. Chuuya burned the sight of his face to memory, savored each twitch of his lips on his own silence and watched with appreciation as Dazai's cheek turned from red to purple. The friction of his gloves had made him bleed, and Chuuya followed the first red drop as it rolled down Dazai's cheekbone and got absorbed by the cotton already stuck to some previous wound on his chin.

"I'll think over your proposal," Chuuya continued. He tugged his gloves back in place and ignored the joyful tingling in his fingers. Never had punching someone felt so rewarding. He wasn't even mad anymore. "I'll be going now, if you don't mind."

Dazai laughed. He pushed himself back into a standing position and straightened his back so he could hover over Chuuya again—but one of his cursed hands was holding his cheek, and he didn't look so smug anymore. "You're an absolute pain in the ass," he said.

"That's nothing more than you deserve, ass."

"I know. It's sickening, how fitting this seems."

Chuuya smiled before he could help it, feeling warm in ways he hadn't in weeks, maybe even months.

The old boss was dead. Chuuya wouldn't have to run to and from corpse-riddled battlefields to count casualties anymore. And the new boss's pet project wanted him as a partner.

He didn't see Dazai's smile soften from amused to endeared.

"See you around," he said, turning on his heels. "Dazai."

His legs were shaking when he walked toward the stars, but only from excitement.

Chuuya had lied that day.

Abilities were a mystery to everyone as far as he knew. The mafia accepted them as unshakeable truth, but Chuuya didn't know anyone who actively researched the truth of them. They just existed. They changed things about people's appearances, sometimes. There was no genetic way for Chuuya to be born with red hair, and yet somehow he was.

Some people took years to discover theirs, and some people knew theirs inside out as soon as they were born.

Chuuya was part of the latter. For the Tainted Sorrow had sung inside him for as long as he could remember. He came into the world without the fear of falling and without the fear of heights; he thought, when he allowed himself to, that maybe his recklessness in this had led his parents to being how they were.

He made things fly. He made himself fly. He crushed the ground under his feet. He turned himself as heavy as whales or as light as feathers.

When he was eleven, Chuuya's fear won over his love. He touched his father's bloody fist between blows and made him weigh nothing—less than feathers and less than mist—made him soar toward the sky as far as he could go, and then, before his love could win again, he let him fall.

He ran until he could convince himself that he hadn't heard the sound that his father's body made as it hit the ground.

It took very little to convince the beautiful and deadly woman that his mother had told him about to let him work for her. Some groveling, some tidying up, and of course, some flying. Kouyou was as cold to him as she was to anyone else, but she took him in. She gave him enough money for him to rent a room in one of the port mafia's establishments and sleep without fear for the first time in his life.

When Chuuya told Dazai, There's nothing in it for me, he had been lying. He was interested in climbing the ranks. He was interested in proving himself worthy.

He was interested in Dazai.

Mostly, though, he was interested in what he knew he hadn't done yet. He was interested in the restless power in him that told him he could do so, so much more. That he could lose himself entirely to the fear that had made him kill his own kin—lose himself enough that he wouldn't feel bad about it.

Three weeks after meeting Dazai on the rooftop of the mafia's headquarters, Dazai broke into Chuuya's room. He tried to wrestle Chuuya, and Chuuya pinned him down onto the floor without even breaking a sweat, lips stretched wide enough to match the gleeful smile on Dazai's face.

Dazai told him that he had a plan. A non-Mori-approved plan. And Chuuya agreed to it with only the heat in his veins for a reason.

That night, he used Corruption for the first time.

That night, Dazai Osamu touched the black-bruised skin of his wrist and made him stop.

That night, Mori Ougai upgraded him to a suite inside of headquarters, his thoughtful gaze crawling over Chuuya's skin like ants, and Chuuya hung heavier to Dazai's stiff shoulder, working pride out of the pain wrecking his entire body.

It was sickening, how fitting it all seemed.

The port mafia needed Q back. Chuuya wasn't happy about it, but he swallowed down his protests in front of the other executives. He was the only one who disagreed with Mori on this.

Mori had a choice. He could send Kouyou for negotiations with the armed detective agency, as she had already proven to be able to establish non-violent contact with them, even if she had been a hostage at the time. Or he could send Chuuya.

Considering that Kouyou had flirted heavily with treason during her time as a hostage, the choice was quickly made.

Chuuya clenched his teeth on his own annoyance as he walked through Yokohama. Summer was never too hot on the city thanks to the sea-wind, but he made without his coat anyway—both because it was needless and because he was supposed to appear non-threatening.

It didn't matter how non-threatening he looked. Or that he did the polite thing and knocked before entering the agency. Yosano Akiko had a machete to his neck as soon as he stepped in, and a man he didn't know was pointing an actual gun in his direction.

"I come in peace," he drawled, annoyed. "Where's Dazai?"

The man with the gun seemed to struggle between his need to be polite and his need to be hostile. "No here," he settled on. "Why are you here?"

"Come to finish our fight?" Yosano asked, not very good at hiding the excitement she felt at the idea.

Chuuya bared his teeth at her. "Tempting, but no. I do actually come in peace."

There weren't many people in the office, now that he was looking around. The boy with blond hair that he had met a few days prior was gone, and so was Dazai, of course. Out of the reports Chuuya had heard from Akutagawa and Kajii, only the weretiger seemed to be here.

He was a frail thing. Tall for his age but very skinny, with tan skin and white hair and obviously not-human yellow eyes. Chuuya spent a moment looking into the boy's curious face and wondering what he was hiding, for Dazai to call him by name with such affection on his voice.

"I need to thank you," he told the weretiger. The boy yelped and flinched back, and Chuuya ignored it. "I heard that you and Akutagawa killed that Guild guy and saved us all from inevitable death."

"Oh." The boy lowered the hand he had raised to cover his face. "Um. You're welcome?"

"Are you asking or saying it?"

The man with yellow hair stepped further into Chuuya's personal space, almost pressing his gun into Chuuya's face. "What do you want with us, port mafia executive?" he asked hotly.

"Get that thing out of my face," Chuuya replied. He touched his fingers to the mouth of the gun quickly and tried not to laugh when the thing fell out of man's hands, now weighing just enough to break open the floorboard without outright falling through it or dislocating the man's shoulder. The other made a sound of surprised pain and stepped back immediately. He felt Yosano's machete leave the back of his neck carefully as well. "I'm here for Q," Chuuya said once that was settled. "My boss is willing to open negotiations for his retrieval from the agency, and he sent me to conduct them…"

He trailed off, because a chill ran up his spine and took hold of his breathing, halting it suddenly. Chuuya turned on his heels with one hand raised and the other hovering uselessly at his hip—his brain chose this precise moment to remind him that Dazai had never given him his knife back.

The man standing behind him and Yosano was tall and grey-haired, with lines on his face that weren't at all from smiling. He looked down at Chuuya with neither contempt nor hatred, but Chuuya didn't for one second think that he wouldn't use the katana hanging from his hip if need be.

He had never felt so vulnerable in front of an opponent before.

"Honorable of a man like Mori Ougai to attempt negotiations before attempting murder," the man said. His voice was deep and his tone was absolute. "I would go so far as to say unthinkable."

Chuuya smiled faintly. It took effort like none other to lower his guard. "Well, no one's said anything about what happens when you refuse our offer," he replied. "But Boss Mori has really taken to the idea of a ceasefire of sorts between us, and wishes to extend it now that the Guild is gone."

"Has he."

He hadn't. Chuuya didn't know what Mori was planning, exactly, but there was no way he wasn't planning something. He didn't think any of the other executives were in the know either.

Kouyou might have been, if she hadn't so openly let her support of the killer girl's defection show.

Dazai had been the only one Mori truly shared plans with. Dazai had been raised from infancy to be Mori's right hand man. For all Chuuya knew, Mori was still sharing schemes with Dazai even with Dazai on the side of the enemy.

Chuuya straightened up entirely, closing his legs once more and taking off his hat. "In exchange for that ceasefire, the mafia expects you to deliver Q to us without a fight."

The man—Fukuzawa Yukichi, obviously, stared at him silently for a moment before speaking again. "No."

Chuuya smiled. "We'll reign in Akutagawa as well." He heard the weretiger take a loud breath behind him. "Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid on his own anymore. Your employee will finally be left alone."

Fukuzawa looked over Chuuya's shoulder briefly, but his face didn't change. "Am I to expect that if I refuse, your man will be encouraged not to leave Nakajima Atsushi alone?"

"That could certainly happen," Chuuya murmured.

Atsushi. That had been the name. Now that he was hearing again, Chuuya could recall Dazai saying it through bloody lips and with a smile.

"I see." Fukuzawa shook his head. "I must refuse anyway. Kunikida, walk our enemy out."

"Yes sir," the man with yellow hair replied instantly.

A single dark look in Kunikida's direction was enough to deter him from trying to lay a hand on Chuuya, but though Chuuya led himself to the door without prompting, he still said, "Tell Dazai to give me back my damn knife," to Yosano as he went.

He walked out of the office with Kunikida hot on his heels and irritation tight in his stomach. They stayed a distance away from each other as they walked down the stairs, Kunikida because he was probably wary after the gun thing, Chuuya because he was struggling to remember what Akutagawa had said about Kunikida's ability.

Chuuya was about to reach for the front door's handle when Kunikida asked, "Why did Dazai steal your knife?"

Chuuya's hand faltered in midair, weightless and unbearably heavy at once. "Because he's a piece of shit," he replied.

He heard Kunikida shuffle on his feet. When he spoke again, his voice was unfriendly but polite. "You're Nakahara Chuuya. His old partner. From… when he was with the port mafia."

"That's right." So Dazai had ratted him out to his new group. Chuuya didn't know whether to feel annoyed or happy about it, so he turned to look at Kunikida's tense face with a smile instead. "You're Kunikida Doppo. His new partner."

At least according to Akutagawa's always mediocre reports.

Kunikida tensed but didn't lose his composure. "I hate to be associated with him like this," he muttered.

"We have so much in common already."

"I need to know if he's fraternizing with the enemy," Kunikida continued, serious as a tomb. "I don't like the two of you delivering private messages as if we're not at war with each other—"

"Hold on," Chuuya cut in. "First of all, there's no fraternizing with Dazai. Everyone's an enemy to this fucking guy, so take this as advice and never let yourself believe that he's become your friend."

Kunikida's mouth was gaping slightly. It was cute, in a way.

"Second, even if this asshole had the ability to be nice to anyone, I wouldn't want anything to do with him."

"So…" Kunikida was visibly struggling with his own thoughts. "You two didn't like each other either?"

"No," and Chuuya wasn't lying, because like was so much of a non-truth for what he felt about Dazai that even thinking it made his stomach revolt. "Dazai's only ever had one friend, and it wasn't me."

"Chuuya."

Chuuya's hands spasmed by his sides.

The most annoying thing about Dazai, possibly, was the fact that he was so good at disguising his own presence. Chuuya remembered telling him that thinking so much about dying made him feel like a dead man already, and it wasn't a lie; Chuuya had never managed to prevent Dazai from taking him by surprise when he wanted to.

The front door of the building was open from the outside, and in its frame stood Dazai, one hand over the handle and the other clutching Q's shoulder.

His eyes were unreadable.

Chuuya turned to him and channeled the pit of nervous heat in belly into tight anticipation—and a smile that he hoped looked as feral as it felt. "Dazai," he said, each vowel spreading over his tongue, warm and familiar. "Give me back my knife."

"Did you come all the way here just for this?" The smile on Dazai's lips was immediate, though insincere.

Q by his side had anxiety written all over his nightmarish face.

"I'm here for you," Chuuya told Q, and paid no mind to the small whimper that the atrocious boy let out. "The agency has kindly refused our offer for peaceful transfer, so it'll have to be war. Dazai," he barked at the other then, "give me the knife, and next time I ever agree to one of your stupid plans, remind me to punch your teeth out instead."

"If you can reach them," Dazai replied lowly.

He slipped a hand into the lapels of his beige coat without letting go of Q with the other. Chuuya's Ka-Bar emerged from the folds, the thin stripe of the blade not covered in cloth glinting icily.

Chuuya grabbed Dazai's wrist twenty centimeters away from his throat; only then did he realized that the knife's blade was turned toward Dazai. He had been so focused on stopping Dazai's movement, he hadn't seen the other hold it with the handle up front. Judging by Dazai's smirk, this had been intentional.

"Fuck you," Chuuya growled. He tore the knife out of Dazai's grip, or at least he tried to—Dazai let it go easily but hooked a finger under his glove as he did, cold against the heel of Chuuya's palm.

Chuuya couldn't help it; the skin-to-skin pressure made the bruises flare, and he winced.

Something dark went over Dazai's face, more reminiscent of year-gone times than all his bravado weeks earlier in the headquarter's underground had been. He took his finger out of Chuuya's glove carefully and stepped back.

"You're not going to be punching anyone's teeth in the near future," was all he said.

"Dazai," came Kunikida's furious voice then; Chuuya had almost forgotten that he was here. "Bring the kid upstairs, it's Atsushi's turn to keep watch."

Dazai took another long second to look away from Chuuya's eyes and over his shoulder instead. "Sure, Kunikida-kun."

"'Kid'," Chuuya sneered softly. "Is that what this is about, then?"

Kunikida made a confused noise. If Dazai understood what Chuuya meant—and he probably did—he showed no sign of it. He walked past Chuuya without another look, brushing their shoulders together, hand firmly stuck to Q's upper arm.

Chuuya adjusted his glove back in place. "You're pathetic," he said. "You're really going to end up dead, trying to live like this."

"Good," Dazai replied lightly. "You know that's all I've ever wanted."

Liar, Chuuya thought.

There was nothing more to be said. Dazai wasn't part of his life anymore, and Chuuya knew better than to want to change that. Not for anyone, and especially not for someone who was trying so very hard to wash his own hands clean of blood. He clenched his teeth on the dark, ugly shadow of nostalgia, bit into it until he tasted metal; then he pushed open the door in front of him and stepped out of the building, into the summer light, wind and seasalt on his tongue.

Chuuya's hands were already plenty tainted.

[NEXT]

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #soukoku #nakahara chuuya #dazai osamu #fic: owe no debt

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itshaykuni · 5 years

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ON HOW I FELL IN LOVE WITH READING

“Read. If you have finished reading something, read more.” This is what I used to hear when I was a little restless schoolgirl whose mind was full of vivid dreams and fantasies. For a child whose tiny brain was fully occupied by imaginary universes and characters, there was no space left for those created by someone else’s imagination. And since my eyes were always in search of something close to my imaginary worlds - colorful, engaging, breathtakingly adventurous - staring at the dull wooden white pages filled with nothing but black letters seemed to be a torture to me.

On the other hand, I was the youngest in my family and in the circle of friends, and to be taken seriously, I had to gain authority and trust among them. So I was looking to be an excellent student and reach farther than my peers to establish my authority. And I knew - reading is something that brilliant kids do, whereas the weaker ones hate, so I have to do it as well. This would be a huge additional bonus on my way of getting praise and trust.

This attitude was my first and biggest misconception about reading - doing it only to get praise and recognition, not delving into the mesmerizing new worlds yet undiscovered by me. And alongside this rather toxic attitude, I stumbled upon a serious problem in my elementary school years. Regardless of the fascinating speed, as claimed by my teachers, at which I could process any information I was given, I soon noticed a thing that started to worry me more with each passing year. I was always the last to finish reading something in my class. Reading one page took me 2 times more than my peers. My mother's first response to this was, naturally, that everything was fine, and my classmates were just too lazy to read every word of every sentence. That is why, she’d say, I could process information better than them - because I read everything thoroughly. Her explanation sounded convincing enough. It was only 15 years later that I came across the term ‘dyslexia’.

With time, I noticed that, after reading a couple of pages in a row, I was feeling physically tired, even though I was an eternal engine as a child. It felt like I had sprinted a couple of kilometers with my tiny legs. Dizziness, low levels of energy would play cruel tricks with my eyes and brain. With each passage, it was becoming harder for me to connect one word with another, sometimes I would spend a minute to see and read one word. Not that the letters jumped around as rabbits, just keeping the attention on the character deciphering was hard. And it sucked, I felt an extremely unpleasant discomfort.

Physically painful and heavy - a human will do anything to avoid a task that has these two qualities, at least for as long as that human is at middle school. And if reading takes those qualities upon itself, adding even a grain of dullness to a text can instantaneously make finishing it impossible. Whatever our teachers assigned to read were particularly uninteresting - none of the stories about simple village boys and their grandfathers related to me - a girl who had never been in a rural community and, in her fantasies, was riding a green-scaled dragon over the mountain forests and exploring the seas with Sinbad on a longship with enormous sails. And the poems about our favorite Holy Mountain would literally drive me crazy. Literature classes mostly seemed bullshit to me, and I wasn’t sure if I was right or if I just couldn’t find and see and understand the beauty in those pieces.

At high school, I gave up on pleasing the grown-ups and getting out of my own skin to be an excellent student. Instead, I started to explore my own likes and dislikes, thus not feeling too obligated to read whatever we were assigned. Even though the authors and literary pieces we studied diversified a bit over time, I admitted one simple truth - Armenian literature was not for me. So I started to give attention to stories that were able to capture my attention. Still, whatever interested me the most wasn’t translated into my native language, making reading way more difficult and even slower than usual, no matter how well I could comprehend the language. And as a top cherry, I was a dramatic teenager more interested in socializing, getting stories first-hand from real people rather than closing up in a room and staring at the pages of heavy books.

As I was graduating from high school and applying to a bachelor's degree, I had to do a ton of obligatory reading, having left no time and desire to find something that would truly relate to me. Things started to slowly change by the variety of books offered on the internet and my improved skills in foreign languages. I had the opportunity to explore online libraries as a student, but still, no matter how deep I searched, none of my findings would really come close to my heart. And my reading speed just didn’t seem to improve with time, which was truly enraging me.

With my ‘Oh well, okay’ reaction to whatever I read, soon I thought I had to accept the fact that reading simply wasn’t enjoyable for me and come to terms with that once and for all. So, I abandoned my attempts of forcing myself to like reading and allowed myself the luxury to only read whatever I really wanted, whenever I wanted it and for as much as it was light and enjoyable. Instead, visual media is what I could swim in like a fish. As I fell in the addictive loop of mindlessly checking social media pages and quickly found my way out of it, I discovered invaluable resources on the way like TED Talks, online courses in history, art, psychology, design, photography, videography, journalism, and even literature. These platforms opened new galaxies for me. As I explored so many new topics, global social problems and authors, I soon started to figure out my taste in everything, literature as well.

Due to self-reflection that had grown roots during my high-school years and gradually increased over time, I realized something incredible. My emotional intelligence and non-verbal communication (especially analyzing and understanding the latter) had grown unbelievably. I surely knew it wasn’t only due to growing up, and not the “enormous” experience from communicating to different people. It was also the reading’s doing. I glanced back upon some of the authors I had read- Weber, Hesse, Palahniuk, Akutagawa, Mayne Reid, Christie and Doyle, Fitzgerald, Phillip Dick and many others. To be honest, very often the real value and meaning of the books I read would come to me much later after certain events had taken place in my life. No matter how slow I’d read, no matter how uninterested I was in the obligatory literature, no matter that over 15 years I hadn’t been able to find a book that I would actually like, literature had a great influence on shaping my personality, empathy and perception. That brought hope back to me - perhaps I wasn’t as pitiful as a literature person as I thought I was.

Soon I stumbled upon several books from reading which I received a marvelous experience. The first one was just a 300-page self-help book I purchased in Berlin. Even though it was way far from being a literary masterpiece, I was in need of those pieces of advice and reminders, so it only made a positive influence on me. What mattered the most, though, was the speed with which I finished the book - 10 days only, during travel! That was a personal record for me that raised my hopes a level higher - hopes that I’ll be able to read a book (with normal speed) and enjoy it like normal people do.

After that, I again abandoned my attempts to commit to reading. But one fine spring day when I was browsing my YouTube recommendations, I found a stunning documentary about the most impressive bookstores in the world. In it, the author Mas Joseph shares his anxiety about reading and his endless love for books and bookstores. Nothing could relate me more than this film. In fact, it relates to me to the point where I was crying over the sights of the enormous bookstores that exist to bring us millions of new worlds, realities, fantasies, ideas and invaluable information. “I just found my church,” I thought to myself, “bookstores should be the real churches, the real centers to connect to the higher powers of the universe, not the lifeless cathedrals that have nothing to offer but a stunning architecture. Bookstores contain all the wisdom of the world, and it’s worth it to spend our lives exploring those pieces of wisdom.”

I came across another book that I enjoyed reading from the first sentence to the last. It was a super-captivating detective story that developed around Istanbul’s cultural heritage - something I’ve had a great interest in recent years. But the book was rather heavy - almost 800 pages. And since I still wasn’t getting used to a high-speed committed reading, it took me about a year to finish it. I had abandoned the book a couple of times before, not because it wasn’t engaging enough but because I wasn’t able to commit to finishing it. But it was such a joy when I did, and realizing I had guessed the killers correctly from the very beginning really excited me.

Being so inspired, I set my mind on making reading a daily habit and decided to go back to the most interesting books that I had abandoned and finish those as well. As a result, I read 30-90 minutes every day, finished 3 books in a month and even fell in love with one of them - “The Last Wish” by Andrzej Sapkowski, a collection of short stories about Geralt of Rivia, the famous Witcher that instantly captures gamers’ hearts. The obsession with the Witcher universe and my excitement of improving reading skills brought me a new challenge - to commit to reading all the books of the series. Currently, I’m on the 2nd tome, “Sword of Destiny”, and I’m totally loving it! The book is with me wherever I go, despite the heaviness of my bag.

Nothing can be compared to stare at the dull black characters written on the yellowish pages and hallucinate like you’ve swallowed a mushroom. The more I read, the faster my reading rate gets, and my imagination enhances, giving me a wider variety of colors, perspectives, patterns and settings to explore the story in. Reading is not about getting acquainted with the story and learning what happened eventually. And by no means, it is about getting recognition and appraisal. It’s an experience that fully activates my brain, and when I say fully, I mean it. I can hear each character’s voice, the subtle trembles of their speech, see the goosebumps when the wind softly runs over their skins, I can smell the stinking corpse or taste the delicious freshly-baked cheese-pie in the noisy inn where Slavic traditional music is playing. I can see the subtle mimics when characters flirt, and how they cross their legs, and how a person not related to their story is silently watching them from the corner.

Only now I can genuinely believe the famous quote by George RR Martin:

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.”

#itshaykuni #personal #reading #anxiety #books #bookworm #literature #development #words

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musicprincess655 · 4 years

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Fukuzawa shoots a police officer a disdainful look on the way home from the grocery store. The officer doesn’t pay him any attention. Because really, what can Fukuzawa Yukichi do at this point?

Hopefully, more than they think. Fukuzawa doesn’t know who this Akutagawa is, sending him messages through robots cleverly disguised as rats, but he saved Atsushi from No. 6, and that is reason enough for Fukuzawa to listen to him.

Not that Fukuzawa agrees with the idea that No. 6 should burn, but he’s within the walls, and Akutagawa isn’t. Akutagawa just sees the city, but Fukuzawa has learned the difference between the city and the people.

Maybe the city deserves to burn to ash, but there are too many people here who don’t. Easy as it would be to only hate it, the world doesn’t exist in black and white.

Fukuzawa hasn’t told the rest of the detective agency that Atsushi is alive. It’s a danger for them. He knows that Ranpo knows anyway, and if Ranpo knows, so does Poe. Yosano and Kunikida, the Tanizaki siblings, none of the rest of them suspect. Sometimes Fukuzawa feels guilty for keeping it from them, especially when he sees one of the siblings turn to look for a reaction that isn’t there anymore, or when Kunikida grumbles harder into the paperwork that used to be Atsushi’s, but he still values protecting them over telling them the truth.

“Did you see the police officer at the end of the street?” Kunikida asks as soon as Fukuzawa walks in. Fukuzawa nods. “And the one watching the building?”

That one, Fukuzawa missed. Kunikida just nods once, staring out the window in what could almost pass as brooding.

“There’s more than usual, aren’t there?” Tanizaki asks, shrinking into his desk like it’ll protect him.

“I don’t know what they think they’ll find by sniffing around here,” Kunikida says. “We’re a perfectly legitimate business. We have our permits.”

Perhaps they’re onto the way Fukuzawa has been scheming with Akutagawa, somehow. Or maybe, between Dazai and Atsushi, this detective agency has attracted just a little too much attention. Or maybe this has nothing to do with the agency. But that begs the question: what else is No. 6 looking for?

There’s been more police presence in the Lost Town for at least a month. Everyone in the agency is aware of it. No one knows why.

They’re not investigating crimes. The agency still has the same amount of work that they’ve always had. So if it’s not to crack down on crime, is it an intimidation game? Who do they think they need to intimidate?

Fukuzawa tried to point Ranpo at the problem, but Ranpo is much better suited to puzzles than games of intrigue. This kind of problem takes patience, and the ability to watch over time and learn, and Ranpo has neither of those qualities.

Tanizaki and Kunikida together have done better at watching, but neither of them knows why there are suddenly more police officers. Their only theory is that, as No. 6 prepares to celebrate the anniversary of its founding, they want to keep the streets as clean as possible. Fukuzawa supposes that it is a bigger anniversary this time, a centennial, but still, he wonders if that’s really the only reason.

The door opens, and every eye in the room turns to it. Detectives are curious people by nature, and Tanizaki is already moving to make tea for their new client when the person steps through the door and they can all see who it is.

Fukuzawa hasn’t seen Lucy Maud Montgomery in months, but he’d recognize Atsushi’s best friend anywhere.

“Lucy-chan!” Tanizaki crows. He and Lucy were reasonably good friends through Atsushi before Atsushi was lost and Lucy left to join the Guild. “Long time no see. I thought you wouldn’t be back.”

“It’s just a quick stop,” Lucy says. “They said I could leave for a few hours. I wanted to see everyone again.”

Fukuzawa doesn’t need to look to see that Poe has gone pale. This sudden reappearance of the Guild has to be the last thing he wants. Fukuzawa still doesn’t know all the details of what happened to him, what he did, but he does know that Poe has done his level best to distance himself from the Guild, hides in fear at the mention of their name.

And now the monster that haunts his nightmares is so close.

“Where’s Atsushi?” Lucy asks. “I’ve really been looking forward to seeing him again.”

Tanizaki, to his credit, doesn’t look disappointed. Lucy and Atsushi go so far back, it’s hard not to recognize that they’re special to each other.

“He’s…well…” Tanizaki waffles. Fukuzawa doesn’t think he believes for a second Atsushi is dead, but he does know Atsushi is out of reach. The Correctional Facility isn’t a place anyone comes back from.

“Your boyfriend’s unavailable,” Ranpo says. He’s got his feet propped up on the desk, the very picture of ease. “Maybe you should’ve tried harder to convince him to join the Guild.”

Poe makes a soft noise, and that stops Ranpo before Fukuzawa has to.

“Unavailable?” Lucy asks, looking between Ranpo and Tanizaki. “What does that mean?”

“It means he was taken away to the Security Bureau the day after you left,” Fukuzawa says. He already lost two people. He doesn’t want to lose Lucy, even if she’s not his to lose the way Dazai and Atsushi were.

Lucy’s face goes white. She almost looks like she might faint, but she steps closer to Fukuzawa anyway, looking for the truth of his words in his face. Fukuzawa has nothing to hide from her. The part he told her, at least, was the truth.

“But he’s not dead,” Lucy says after inspecting him carefully. “He’s still alive. You know that.”

Fukuzawa doesn’t have time to worry about who in the room is surprised by that revelation. He’s too focused on Lucy, because while she and Atsushi are very different people, they get the same look in their eyes when they’re about to do something reckless.

“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t,” Fukuzawa says. “You can’t help him.”

“Can’t I?” Lucy asks. “I have powerful friends now. Maybe the only people in the world that will stand up to No. 6. No one else will even try.”

“Wait…”

“If you won’t help him, I will,” Lucy says. She shoots Poe a look over her shoulder. “I don’t understand why you left the Guild. I’m finally free with them.”

“You haven’t seen anything that makes you question them?” Poe asks, stutter barely kept out of his voice. He wasn’t born in No. 6, and sometimes it shows in his speech. “They haven’t asked you to do anything that makes you question them?”

Lucy doesn’t say no.

“It’s still better than here,” she says instead. “I’m going to help him. You just sit here and do nothing.”

Fukuzawa wants to follow her, make sure she doesn’t get into more trouble, but he has a room full of detectives he’s hidden the truth from.

“Atsushi-kun is alive,” Kunikida says, jaw twitching. It’s not a question, but Fukuzawa nods anyway. “And you knew the whole time.”

“Not the whole time,” Fukuzawa says. “A group outside found him. They sent me a message. Atsushi is alive in the West Block.”

Kunikida visibly brings his anger back under his control. Fukuzawa knows his distaste for authority fights with his respect for Fukuzawa himself, and he’s always kind of wondered what would push Kunikida over the edge.

“Atsushi-kun isn’t in the Correctional Facility?” Tanizaki asks. Fukuzawa nods. “At least he’s free. That’s the important thing.”

Tanizaki’s forgiveness is so easy when the matter isn’t Naomi. Fukuzawa isn’t often as grateful for him as he should be.

Fukuzawa looks out the window, trying to make sure Lucy doesn’t run into trouble, but he looks too late.

The police officer that was watching the building has her by the arm, and Lucy is far too small to break away from him.

“Were they waiting for her?” Yosano asks. She’s joined Fukuzawa by the window.

“Maybe,” Fukuzawa says, but he doubts it. If the Guild made such a short stop, it’s unlikely anything was happening to make No. 6 take notice enough to try and intercept an operative.

He turns and leaves.

“Where are you going?” Ranpo asks.

“I might be able to help her,” Fukuzawa says. What he means is, he might know someone who can.

Right on schedule, one of the robotic rats is waiting for him, a message from Akutagawa, and another from Atsushi, who has started adding his own. Fukuzawa doesn’t bother to read them yet, instead writing his own message.

“Lucy was taken by the police,” he writes, small enough that he can fit more on the narrow strip. “She’s in the Correctional Facility. Help her.”

Fukuzawa attaches the message to the rat and sends it on its way.

Maybe Lucy is right, and her powerful friends will be enough to stand up to No. 6. Fukuzawa doubts it, though. They wouldn’t drift around between city-states, stealing from all of them, if they had the power to stand up to them. They’ll probably cut their losses with Lucy, move on, and she will be left here.

But Akutagawa is good enough to break into No. 6, take Atsushi from police custody, and escape back outside the wall. Pairing that with Atsushi’s skills, with how much he’ll want to save Lucy, they could probably make it work together.

Fukuzawa knows there is a very real chance he’s sacrificing Atsushi for Lucy’s sake. Even if they come up with the most brilliant plan, there’s still so much risk in saving her. But if he withheld the information, if he left Lucy to die, would that really be better? Would Atsushi forgive him for that?

Sometimes it’s still hard to forget the tiny child Atsushi was, lost and alone, and see him for the man he’s grown into. He’s still young, but he’s grown enough for Fukuzawa to trust him to make his own decisions, and maybe, someday, they’ll see each other again.

Fukuzawa thinks he’d like to tell Atsushi how proud he is of him again.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #shin soukoku #sskk #my writing #no. 6 au #systasis

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