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rollercoasterwords · 10 months

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hi! thank you for the kind words, i'm happy you're enjoying the fic. but i also want to use this message as an opportunity to talk about something/set a boundary that i haven't really known how to discuss, and i've blocked out your name because even though i'm not angry or upset with you, i want to make sure i'm not sending any hate back your way.

i know that this message is well-intentioned, and i know you likely think it's nothing but a compliment to ask me to write more--after all, you're only asking me to write more because you enjoy the story so much! shouldn't that be a nice thing for me to hear?

and like. i think that's why this is difficult for me to talk about. i don't want to come across as ungrateful or overly sensitive or like i don't appreciate the compliments, because i do. but at the same time, hearing someone say, "please write more of this fic for me, i love your writing so much!" is still hearing someone say "please write more of this fic for me!" like. 300,000 words is incredibly long. most novels are between 70k-100k words. a 300k word book usually takes years to write--years, and hundreds of hours of labor. maybe you chose that number randomly, or you're exaggerating for emphasis; but no matter how nicely you're phrasing it or how facetious you're being, ultimately this sort of message still puts pressure on me to produce a massive amount of writing in a short period of time. and even if you meant it as a compliment, it doesn't feel nice to me. being pressured to churn out hundreds of thousands of words makes me feel as though i'm being seen as a content-creation machine for the entertainment of others, and i don't like that. writing is a labor of love for me, but it is still labor--hours of time and effort that i'm putting into these works which i share for free, with no expectations of anything in return except maybe a few kind words from those who feel like reaching out. when i get messages or comments like this pushing me to write more, to write faster, it makes me feel as though my time and labor are not respected at all; as if there's absolutely no consideration for the amount of effort it takes to write the stories. which, again, makes me feel like i'm being viewed as some sort of fic-writing machine that can just pump out hundreds of thousands of words on demand for others' entertainment.

and none of this is helped by the tongue-in-cheek comment about how you're "suffering" waiting for updates. again, i understand that this was well-intended and maybe even a playful exaggeration that's supposed to be complimentary. but there are ways to tell me you enjoy my writing and eagerly wait for updates without telling me how much you dislike waiting between chapters. posting once a week is already a difficult schedule for me to maintain, and it's entirely possible that i'll need to take another break in the future or skip a week or something. i've been very clear about the fact that my update schedule is subject to change since i started writing the fic; that's just part of reading a wip. but when i get messages or comments like these with people telling me how they don't like waiting for updates, or comments directly asking me to post more than once a week, or--back when i did take a break--comments begging me not to take a break, it all adds together and builds up and creates this pressure to write more, write faster, post the new ch now now now. if you were the only person making this type of comment, it probably wouldn't bother me and i'd just respond and go "thanks lol" and move on. but the problem is that you aren't the only one--since more people have started reading the fic, i've consistently been getting comments like these, where the backhanded pressure to write more or write faster is couched in compliments. it's just so hard to wait for updates because i love your writing so much! i just want you to write more and post now and write faster because i love your writing so much! i know it's all well-intended, but none of it makes me feel good. it just makes me feel a mounting pressure to produce produce produce.

i feel like there are so many conversations happening in this fandom about how we need to treat writers better, where people go "the fandom is so shitty" and everyone goes "yeah!" but no one ever thinks they're part of the problem. and i think it's because everyone thinks the problem is like...really blatantly rude and entitled messages. and like, i get those too--people telling me they don't like a certain characterization and asking me to rewrite the fic; people repeatedly demanding that i write a certain fic for them; people just outright shitting on things i've written because they don't like it and for some reason think i want to know that. but none of that is super common. what is super common is the steady stream of comments and messages like this one, where they are so well-intended and don't see anything wrong with what they're saying because they think they're giving me a compliment. but all these "compliments" build up and create this pressure that hangs over my head to be constantly producing and writing, which is ultimately what leads to burnout and also makes me feel like i'm not being seen as a person so much as a machine.

so like. idk. i'm not gonna try to speak for every writer in the fandom; maybe there are people out there who do appreciate this kind of message, who feel like it motivates them to write. but for me, i want to make it clear: i really don't appreciate being asked to write more or write faster or to write a certain trope/ship/etc; i am not a waiter taking your order at a restaurant. writing fic is not a service i'm providing for you that you pay me for in comments or kudos or messages or any sort of attention, because i am not writing for that attention in the first place. so when it comes to interacting with me, i'd ask that you reevaluate the way you give compliments and think about what sort of pressure you're putting on me, regardless of how well-intentioned your message is. again, no hard feelings towards you--like i said, this message probably wouldn't even register as pressuring to me if not for the fact that i get so many little comments like it, all from equally well-intentioned people who think they're just giving a compliment, all of which builds up together.

anyway. all that being said. to answer your question: the fic will likely be four parts, not three as i originally intended. it will probably end up somewhere between 100-200k words based on the fact that we're already at 80k and i've only just started part iii, but i am not going to put pressure on myself to write a certain amount of words or hit a certain length. i'm just going to write what i want to write when i want to write, and share it as i want to share it. i'm happy to have you along if you want to be here, but if the cliffhangers or waiting for updates becomes too unenjoyable for you then there's no pressure for you to stay, yknow? no hard feelings on my end either way :•)

#have been talking w a few friends abt this recently and just. felt like it was getting to a point where i need 2 set a boundary lol #like again don't want to come across as ungrateful bc i DO appreciate the kind words and i love talking abt my writing w people #but those kind words and conversation are not the reason i write in the first place. i write in the first place purely for the fun + joy #of writing a story that i want to read #so as much as i appreciate the compliments etc #people being nice to me about my writing does not then entitle those people to make requests or demands about the way i write #yknow?#feel like its hard to phrase this without sounding cunty lol but like. it is simply the truth #anyway. like i said no hard feelings towards the person who sent this message truly #i just picked this as an opportunity to respond to allll the comments + messages like it #might put a note at the end of the next ch or something bc this type of thing happens in the comments moreso than tumblr messages #which is part of why i usually just ignore and move on but. it builds up guys #and it's only been increasing so. feel like i need to be firm abt setting expectations etc #ask #wfrau #ranting and raving

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public-trans-it · 2 months

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Figured I would make a post of all my various FFXIV OC's.

Warning: There are more than just these 4, those are just the big ones. Also, this is like 5 years' worth of weekly RP with my FC, and we very much leaned into the absurd over-the-top fantasy of the FF series. So, like... boy HOWDY is this gonna be a lot. Edit after finishing writing this draft: it was far more than I thought oh my god I forgot how bullshit all of this was. However I added a clear indicator of where you can skip the most bullshit parts.

(All infoblocks are how the character would describe themselves. Summaries are (mostly) my own words, unless I think its really funny to not do so.)

I also have redacted a lot of info about other people's characters cause I'm not entirely comfortable sharing all of them here. So the names of other characters, and also my FC's name, are entirely removed. I've also tweaked some of the details slightly, mostly just the timing of certain events, and combining/removing a couple of the T'alia's (yes there used to be more). Also spoilers [ARE NOT IN THIS VERSION, YOUR WELCOME MISHA].

If you don't want what is basically a summary of a four year long RP campaign, you can get the short version by just reading the entries for the four characters listed above.

Name: T'sraetn Slein Race: Miqo'te/Garlean (Mixed race) Clan: Seeker of the Sun Gender: Cis(ish) Woman (She/Her)

T'sraetn was born in the capital city of Garlemald, child of a garlean scientist, Varrick lux Slein, and a miqo'te conscript-engineer, T'alia Raio. Her father was researching the Echo, trying to find ways to replicate its effects with a garlean soul. When the Garlond Ironworks rebelled and fled for Eorzea, T'sraetn's family fled with them, though Varrick was killed in the process, [REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS].

T'sraetn became fascinated by all forms of magic in Eorzea, following the paths of the Arcanist before branching out to other fields. She continued to find stronger and stronger opponents to test her magical prowess against, eventually awakening to the Echo and being recruited to the Scions.

The events of 1.0 through Stormblood happen relatively the same as they do in the game, though T'sraetn went missing after [REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS]. She reappeared once again after the events of Shadowbringers 5.3 (sort of, see below), now sporting several cybernetic augments throughout her body, with all of her limbs being fully cybernetic.

She initially had no issues with her augments, barring a few exceptions. However, after the events of Endwalker, she grew to hate them. She believed these augments were the only thing that allowed her to survive her fight against [REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS]. She eventually underwent a dangerous procedure to remove her augments and replace her limbs with vat-grown cloned organic transplants.

T'sraetns version of the Echo manifests it in a bizarre temporal distortion. Time feels as if it passes differently for her, with her experiencing weeks or months in the span of time that others claim to only experience days. In combat, she experiences her own death over and over again until, eventually, she survives the fight. The way that [REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS] experience [REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS] makes her feel a kinship with them in this regard, and has lead to her developing an unhealthy obsession with both of them.

T'sraetn has grown disillusioned with the life of adventure, and now spend much of her time drinking and reliving [REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS], hoping at some point she will discover her life since that point was just a very long vision, and if she just did something different [REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS].

The rare times she is sober, she spends studying [THIS ENTIRE FUCKING PARAGRAPH REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS HOLY FUCK].

She funds these expeditions by selling her services to the goblins of the Wolves Den, helping them refine and test their designs for human pilots.

(Here she is, Ms. Warrior of Light herself. I do find it hilarious that 'Mech Pilot' is a lore friendly profession to have, so I had to go for it. I technically have two versions of T'sraetn! (Well... 3) One is the version I used in my Free Company's weekly roleplay for about 4 years, who is not actually the Warrior of Light, and the other is, in fact, the Warrior of Light herself. However, everything canon to the FC version is more or less canon to the WoL version. We won't be getting into the third version on a SFW blog. [REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS])

Name: Killer Kweh Race: Unknown Clan: Unknown Gender: Unknown (They/Them)

Killer Kweh is a vigilante who began to harass T'sraetn's FC around the events of late Shadowbringers, keeping tabs on the various villains and scoundrels that the FC let slip away, thinking the power of friendship would be enough to save the day. Together with their chocobo, Wark Warrior, the two would track down and kill those the FC had spared. They eventually began to confront the FC, trying to pressure them into no longer forgiving those who wronged them.

Their identity remains a mystery to this day, and will likely never be discovered, no matter how often the other FC members says things like "T'sraetn the mask doesn't even cover all your hair, and we can clearly still see your tail." or "Can you hide your chocobo's costume somewhere else? We need to clean the stables."

(I kept this glam and now use it for PLD/RDM. Originally I was actually planning to have Killer Kweh be an entirely different character, but the FC kept making jokes about the tail showing, and I decided to roll with it cause having it just be T'sraetn the whole time was FAR funnier tbh, and we needed something light hearted at the time.)

If you don't want to read a whole boatload of FC lore, you should skip all of this. (Scroll down until you see the quest complete)

Name: T'alia Raio Race: Miqo'te Clan: Seeker of the Sun Gender: Cis Woman (She/Her)

The first of the many, many, MANY faces of T'alia, who served as one of the central antagonists for much of the FC's life.

As mentioned above, T'alia was an engineer working in Garlemald before her family attempted to flee alongside the Garlond Ironworks, her husband being killed in the process. Wrought with guilt over his death, T'alia vowed to attempt to continue his research once they arrived in Eorzea, studying the soul and how various things could affect it.

Where her husband turned to the Echo, T'alia instead turned to the void, and to the tempering effect of primals. She made a pact with a voidsent, offering it not her own soul, but the soul of her research subjects, in return for studying its effects on them.

She eventually joined a Free Company, finding them to be perfect test subjects and developing an obsession with helping them grow stronger. She carefully examined and documented the effects on them and their aether after various fights with primals and voidsent, all under the guise of helping them grow stronger.

The idea of the FC needing to grow stronger became more and more compulsive, culminating in her trying to graft the soul of her voidsent into the aether of an injured FC member, an act which was the last straw and resulted in the FC turning on her.

She harbored no ill will against the adventurers, and continued her experiments from a distance, using facilities within abandoned garlean bases to construct various monsters for the free company to "train" against, frequently against their will.

(The FC I was with from 1.0 up to Stormblood Launch had a lot of drama. I originally made T'alia as a way to shop around and play with other FC's. When I joined my current FC, they mentioned not having any real dedicated antagonist for their RPs, and so I decided before the first RP I joined that T'alia was eventually going to make a heel turn, and played her as friendly but also very clearly having an ulterior motive. Also T'alia is still my MCH glam!)

Name: T'alia Raio Kime Race: Disembodied Soul Chimera Clan: Specter Yeah :) Gender: Monster (It/She/He)

T'alia's research into metempsychosis culminated in the preservation of her soul, at the cost of the willing destruction of her own body, obtaining a state not unlike those of the Ascians. She began growing multitudes of clones of herself, experimenting on them, merging them with beast men, and creating terrifying new chimerical bodies with which she continued to 'test the potential' of the FC.

However, these bodies and her soul mixed like water and oil, and she was never able to fully utilize them. While each one was quite powerful on its own, under her control they were exceedingly frail, and she would find her soul being ejected from them long before the point the body itself failed. This eventually forced her to turn back to her original field of engineering, augmenting these bodies with cybernetic enhancements.

Eventually, she invited the FC to one of her most ambitions plans to date, which she referred to as "The Merger", a combination wedding ceremony and business merger between both herself, and another rival of the FC's who also was heavily proficient in the field of engineering. This event was, in truth, an experiment where she splintered the timeline and merged it together again. During one timeline, an FC member was killed and replaced with a cybernetic replica crafted by T'alia and her new wife, while in the other timeline the FC member lived on as normal.

T'alia's plans for all of this were seemingly lost when her corpse was discovered in some ruins, impaled by a chunk of white auracite that kept her from escaping the vessel she was inhabiting. This drove her wife deeper into despair, and the widow blamed the FC for allowing this to happen, becoming a far bigger threat to them in the process.

(It was a running joke in our RPs that T'alia would keep getting called an Ascian, only to respond, "I still don't know what that is..." While she did achieve a similar form, it was elusively through her own research, and she never had any affiliation with the Ascians)

Name: Tali Race: Various Clan: Various Gender: Nonbinary (She/Her)

Shortly after T'alia's death, one of her augmented clones began interacting with the FC. She revealed she was the one who killed the 'real' T'alia, an action she had no choice in taking. Several of this clones augments allowed T'alia to control her remotely, and she had taken control of her body to kill herself. These augments still remained in place, and even with no one controlling them now, they still prevented certain actions, such as revealing what T'alia was planning.

This T'alia clone continued to work alongside the FC, eventually being welcomed with open arms as a full fledged member, with the FC renaming her 'Tali' to differentiate her from her creator.

While Tali already differed significantly from her creator, she felt a deep unease about being compared to her. She took up the gunblade and began to dabble in various shape changing magics in order to further differentiate herself from T'alia, resulting in frequent damage to her body and need for replacements of her various artificial limbs. All the while, unfamiliar memories began to surface in her mind, revealing that the memories of T'alia's own past that she had planted in Tali weren't sticking.

While she was unable to reveal T'alia's plans to the FC, she was more than able to be reckless about leaving around too many maps about where T'alia's various facilities were located, leading the FC on missions to shut them down and uncover more details about T'alia's plans, with Tali quickly piecing the details together and becoming both more distressed and more frantic to get the FC to uncover the rest.

Over the course of these expeditions the FC found T'alia's main base: a facility located in a rift in spacetime filled with a massive number of clones. Thousands of clones of T'alia, as well as hundreds of clones of every single FC member.

This facility housed enough clues for the FC to realize two things: first, that T'alia was being coerced into her actions by some other entity that she had been plotting against, and second, Tali's differences to T'alia came not from her augmentations, but from the the fact that she was never a clone of T'alia at all, but her own daughter T'sraetn, augmented and brainwashed into becoming a pawn for T'alia to use.

(Yes the DPS symbol on the blue background is intentional. It's a joke about me always off-tanking at the time, and being a 'Blue DPS'. The name Tali was actually a typo from an FC member addressing her, but everyone immediately realized it would be a great way to differentiate this other version of T'alia, and so we kept it. Also, we had a running joke in our RP's that Tali's arms just fell right off about once per RP night.)

Name: T'alia Allengray Race: Miqo'te Clan: Seeker of the Sun Gender: Cis Woman (She/Her)

Pouring over T'alia's research notes, T'sraetn and the FC eventually found the source of what T'alia had been pushing them all towards, the entity that had plagued her for her entire life: T'alia.

This other T'alia eventually made her presence known by possessing a shape changing quicksilver construct that the FC had defeated, forming a new body for herself. Taking the old T'alia's role as antagonist (though never posing anywhere near as much a direct threat), she was happy to monologue to the FC, and even gave them a linkpearl to answer any questions they might have.

This other T'alia (who the FC simply refered to by her surname, Allengray) was a copy of herself from a different timeline, who had trapped herself in a perpetual timeloop that lasted from the moment of her birth, to the moment of her death. Her original self became nothing more than a disembodied specter within the loop, forced to observe the same events play out over and over again. Over the course of the more than 5 million years she spent trapped in the loop, she slowly gained the ability to subtly influence the members of her FC, with a far bigger influence on each loops iteration of herself.

In her original timeline, Allengray and the FC had fought a devastatingly powerful primal, Lich. As they began to realize their conventional methods of killing primals would not affect it, they eventually chose to build a temporal cage, crafted from the remains of Alexander. The device would contain one aetheric being, and one mortal being, binding the two together. Lich would be trapped within it, and bound to the lifespan of whoever activated the device. While Allengray was not the one selected to bear that burden, she stole the device in the dead of night and sacrificed herself to it, rather than watch any of her friends suffer. Instead, she was left to be tortured for millions of years, watching Lich kill her friends over and over again while she could do little more than watch, and whisper to each version of herself to beg them to find a way to stop it.

(Another kept glam! Allengray is my BLU glam. I actually introduced her as a palette swapped version of another FC members 'Monster of the Week', which was the quicksilver construct that Allengray possessed. She was a bit of an amnesiac trickster for a bit, as her soul adjusted to her new body.)

Name: T'alia Allengray Lich Race: Primal Clan: Aetheric Parasite Gender: Primal (It/Its)

Eventually, Allengray revealed Lich's true nature. Unlike other primals, Lich did not exist as a body. It was more of a parasite that existed in the lifestream, devouring the souls of those who died, which is why it had been so difficult to find a way to stop. And over the course of hundreds of loops, it had grown and adapted to exist within a person's aether, feeding off of them.

Specifically, that of Allengray, where it had latched itself into and fully consumed her. While the timeloop was still connected to the lifespan of each timeline's T'alia, Lich was free to wreck whatever havoc it wanted on the FC, manipulating the timeline to ensure they would suffer over and over again to amuse itself. Even if they found a way to kill it, which the FC occasionally managed to do, the timeline would still be reset on its death, meaning the most the FC would ever be able to do to it is doom another timeline to be the victim of its wrath.

Moreover, with this timelines T'alia now trapped in white auracite, she could never truly die, allowing Lich to remain in this timeline indefinitely.

This timelines T'alia (which is T'alia Raio, in case you lost track. Very understandable if you did.) still managed to get the last laugh. Through their various interactions, the FC of this timeline had become a force of abominations. Fractured primals, artificial constructs, temporal anomalies, and voidtouched avatars, all untouchable by Lich. A fierce battle ensued, Lich toying with FC with the knowledge that killing it wouldn't stop it, even as it clearly grew frustrated.

In the final moment of the battle, the FC revealed their ace in the hole, one of their enemies who had a far bigger grudge against Lich than anyone in the FC. The wife of this timelines T'alia, holding a recreation of the device that trapped Lich and Allengray in the timeloop in one hand, and the white auracite that held her wifes soul in the other. Binding the device to herself and her wife, the two became banished from this timeline to spend eternity with one another, replacing Lich and Allengray in the loop.

Lich did not have time to make its feelings on this development known, as the FC shredded it apart and destroyed it for good.

(I've always fucking loved the concept behind Lich, because in case it wasn't clear by now, I am ABSOLUTELY FASCINATED by death and how we relate to it, and wish Lich had a bigger role in Final Fantasy (I love you Stranger of Paradise). In XIV in particular I felt it had so much potential as a primal. Plus "Killing the embodiment of death itself" is such a final fantasy ass final boss.)

(Additional fun fact: this timeline is the 72,323nd loop that Lich and Allengray were trapped in. Since I'm going with a dumb quest formatting for this, I'll say first person to correctly guess why I chose that number gets... idk... a trust banner of their character and/or a wallpaper made of them? This post contains all the information an FFXIV player would need to guess why I chose that number.)

Name: Noraliene Haillenarte Race: Elezen Clan: Wildwood Gender: Cis Woman (She/Her)

Despite all appearances, Noraliene is an elezen born to House Haillenarte in Ishgard. A member of House Dzemael dosed her drink with a fantasia during a banquet, and when she awoke the next morning as an Au Ra, she found herself the target of a horrible campaign to undermine House Haillenarte by claiming they are heretics, as well as an attempt to use her as "proof" that Au Ra are companions to dragons and must be purged from the city.

She was exiled by her family and escaped the city the next day, being pursued by several members of the Ishgardian Church seeking to kill her for her supposed heresy. Cold and exhausted, she eventually collapsed in the snow, where she claims she froze to death before being resurrected. In truth, she was rescued before that point by Ysayle, and her blue skin is a result of being tempered by Shiva.

After Ysayle's death, Noraliene took her place and helped lead her followers in reintegrating into Ishgard. She had no desire to return to the place of so many bad memories, however, and decided to join up with T'alia's FC shortly after T'alia revealed her true colors, granting them her aid as the new avatar of Shiva.

Despite her tragic past and icy aesthetic, she actually has a very warm and bubbly personality, eager to share her love of Doman Romance novels with anyone who will listen, and excitedly prying into the love life of anyone who was willing to share. She eventually grew tired of the constant stress and drama of being an adventurer and married another Ishgardian exile, choosing to move far away from Eorzea with her new wife.

(Did I make this character just as an excuse to spam the Diamond Dust emote during RP nights? You can't prove that. She was actually made so that I could join the RP easier when other people wanted to host an RP, instead of trying to bullshit together another reason why the FC was just willing to team up with T'alia again. The Diamond Dust spam was just a bonus. I also have a 26 page screenshot comic about her origin story that I've written out, and just need to actually take the screenshots for, but EFFORT...)

Name: Muddied Glory Race: Au Ra Clan: Raen/Xaela (Mixed race) Gender: Cis Woman (She/Her)

Muddied Glory is the orphan daughter of a Raen and a Xaela who were both killed touring Eorzea while she was just an infant. She was placed into the foster care of a Hellsguard woman, who gave her the name she has now.

At a very young age, Glory was adopted by the Church of Halone, where she became a devoted follower of their doctrine. As she grew, she would eventually find herself blessed by Halone with visions into the lives of those she would grant absolution (Its just the Echo), and very rarely, she will wake up in the morning with no memory of the previous night, the events of her own life falling away so her memory could instead be filled with the knowledge of a killer who must be brought to justice, delivered to her through the eyes of their victim.

Her conviction of faith is never stronger than when she faces on these killers, and from the moment they lock eyes with her, before even a single word is said, they are filled with the terrifying knowledge that she is there to bring them to justice. (This is the usual reaction people have when the woman they killed last night shows up in front of them.)

(Glory is me going "Hey remember that one Sahagin Priest in MSQ? Where we learned what a fully realized Echo was capable of? Yeah we need more of that", with the additional silliness of the character in question having no idea it's happening to her. Once again, I was very excited when [REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS])

Name: Ifrit's Bride Race: Tempered Clan: Thrall Gender: Seemingly Trans Woman (It/She)

While there has not been a cure until very recently, being tempered has never been a 'one and done' affair. A primal is fully capable of tempering a single person multiple times, corrupting them far beyond the point of recognizability, as seen most commonly in Leviathan's drowned.

Ifrit's Bride is an example of that. It is unknown what rank or purpose she served among the followers of Ifrit, only that it was far more aetherially corrupted than was the norm for the followers of Ifrit.

After plaguing them for years, she was eventually captured by the Brotherhood of Ash where they worked with the immortal flames and the new anti-tempering magics lent to them to attempt to see if the process could be combined with the Brotherhood's Sacred Ash.

(Technically, she wasn't given the name Tempered Lass until after she was cured, so I should have used a different name for the trust banner. But also fuck making another one, I'm almost done with this post. Also I can't do tribal dailies on this character anymore, because I refuse to complete 'Losing One's Tempered' so that I can always keep some Sacred Ash on hand.)

Name: Tempered Lass Race: "Prefer not to disclose" Clan: "Prefer not to disclose" Gender: So Fucking Much (She/It)

The result was... mixed. While they managed to cure the Bride of Ifrit of her tempering, she had no memory of anything prior to the point of being cured, and her body remained warped.

She was given into the care of a Hellsguard woman who gave her a very... on the nose name, and there it was discovered that without regular treatments of the Brotherhood's Sacred Ash, she would once again begin hearing the whispers of Ifrit compelling her. She is also particularly gullible, but it is unclear if that is a result of the process that cured her, or simply a natural character trait for her.

While the Brotherhood of Ash welcomes her with open arms and is happy to provide her with Sacred Ash at no cost, Temmie prefers to try to live in Ul'dah. She is frequently found among the refugees, helping them for far too little coin for what she needs to sustain herself.

(The reason she can't remember anything is cause there is nothing to remember. Despite appearances, Temmie is not an Au Ra, she is a Miqo'te. Specifically, Temmie is a clone of T'sraetn created by T'alia to test the effects of tempering. Also, if it wasn't clear, her and Muddied Glory are foster sisters.)

Name: Gyococo Gyoco Race: Namazu Lalafell Clan: Namazu Dunesfolk Gender: "Depends on how much you are paying." (She/Him)

Gyococo is a lalafell adopted and raised by namazu. Once the Far East started becoming a more popular tourist destination for Eorzeans, she began seeing more and more lalafells, eventually growing curious enough to wish to visit and explore the land her real parents hailed from. At least, that's what he told people.

In truth, Gyococo cared little for pursuing his ancestral culture and just saw what she assumed would be an ignorant and unassuming market she could swindle as a merchant. What she found when she arrived in Ul'dah, however, was a society of cut throats and swindlers worse than any namazu could ever hope to achieve.

After months of barely scraping by, he eventually turned over a new leaf. She befriended an illiterate playwright and now acts as her scribe and editor. While he is far from the rich woman he was hoping to become, she lives comfortably and is happy with where her life is at.

(I don't touch Gyococo much, mostly because the playerbase is really fucking weird about lalafells and really fucking weird about trans women, and the overlap is... not fun, honestly.)

Name: Gaeli Cat Race: Gaelicat Clan: Gaelicat Gender: Gaelicat

Gaelicat.

(Gaelicat.)

[GAELICAT FOR MISHA REASONS]

#FFXIV #ffxiv wol #ffxiv rp #People are gonna see this and then give me a sideways glance and go 'So uh... hows your relationship with your mom Ceetee?'#to which I reply 'My mother is the coolest person I know and also I am never speaking to her again after all the pain she has caused me'#'and also I'm fairly sure she was starting to suffer from dementia and beginning to lose her own identity to it.'#but I don't see how any of that is relevant to my FFXIV OC's #why do you ask?#[REDACTED FOR MISHA REASONS]#(no i didn't actually redact anything in the tags I'm just being a dork)

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tenrose · 7 months

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Do you ever think about the fact that both Rose and Donna both were sure to stay with the Doctor forever, but of course it was not possible. And for both of them, RTD said "I'm gonna show you what's real tragedy" and then he managed to make two of the saddest departures of the show without killing any one of them because that's what a real tragedy is. It doesn't need death, it just needs to show that what the characters want is impossible.

#dw #doctor who #i am fucking fine #don't ask #im on a loop #gonna set myself on fire #and you know what's hitting me???#it's that i know #this bitch is gonna do it again #he's gonna reminds me that i crave tragedies #why are all my favourite sad endings not being about death #i mean some are #but most are just #characters being trapped in different parallel universes and it's annoying dhoiefihezrezrze

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taikanyohou · 2 years

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there's an alternate reality where this vegas:

and this pete:

most definitely fuck.

#i have a scenario in my head where the bodyguard disperse to find porsche and as vegas is heading out back to main foyer area #he bumps into pete and pete just looks at him with disgust and knows vegas is Upto Some Shit and porsche disappearing is bc of him #and vegas who's already Mad does not need pete to be looking at him like that so he spits out a 'what the fuck are you staring at?'#and pete just cuts to the chase and asks vegas 'where the fuck is he i know you're upto some shit.' and vegas just smirks and says 'who?'#whilst he steps closer to him until he's trapped pete up against a wall and leans into his ear and says 'who pete?'#and pete spits back in vegas' face how 'i know you've got your eyes on him. don't think i haven't been watching your every move.'#and at first it feels like a bucket of ice water has been thrown on vegas but then he composes himself and says #'why? are you jealous?' at which pete just scoffs. and then vegas tries again and says 'or do you like what you see? the thrill of it?#eyeing me just to see what i do next?'#and pete doesnt respond. just bites the inside of his cheek. bc there is a thrill to it #but he is not gonna give vegas the satisfaction. and yet all vegas has to do is look at pete as he clenches his jaw and he gets his answer #and then vegas just rakes his eyes all over pete's body and says 'you've never looked so good'.#and pete isnt gonna get distracted by the fact that vegas of all people is telling him this. so he asks again 'where is he?'#and vegas just tuts and steps even closer and presses their bodies together and says 'fuck him. i'm talking about us.#stop being so fucking good all the time pete. doesnt it get tiring?'#and pete's trying to stay focused on the task at hand here and he knows exactly what vegas is doing as vegas carries on saying #'don't you wanna be bad sometimes pete? what if i let you be that with me? no one has to know.'#and the invitation sounds so tempting. the prospect of it. that he should be with kinn doing his job but instead he's fucking his cousin #and just being the centre of attention for once. being vegas' centre of attention .... it makes pete's toes curl.#and vegas glances down at pete's mouth that's fallen slightly open. and its so pretty. so pretty that he has to touch it. and as he does #pete opens his mouth wider and vegas runs his thumb along pete's entire bottom lip. and he can feel pete breathing hard.#'you want this.' vegas says. 'look how you open up your mouth for me so pretty to have more.'#and now vegas is calling him pretty too and pete's resolve is breaking brick by brick until he moans when vegas wraps his hand around his #throat and vegas says 'i wanna taint you so bad that you'd have to wear this to cover the bruises on your neck. and the next time i see you #i'd do it all over again.' and pete asks in a barely there voice 'next time?' and vegas smirks and leans into pete's ear and says #'if its what you want. because i do. i wanna see you be bad for me. just for me. i want you to come to me only. for me only.'#and then vegas bites down on the skin there making pete clutch onto vegas' blazer and as divine as vegas looks pete wants to rip it off.#and just as he's about to do something about it vegas steps back leaving pete's arm mid air. and pete hates that. and vegas sees it all #over his face and says 'what do you say pete? you either leave with me right now or you can go back and be the good little boy they think #you are.' and vegas holds out his hand. and no one's ever treated pete like this before. so he takes it. and lets vegas take him.

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trashlie · 6 months

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it's good to see you around again, I missed reading your long ILY posts, hope you're doing better too :) if you ever share your thoughts on the latest couple of episodes (including fp) here, I'd be super excited to read them! I'm really curious how you think the timeline is gonna go from here - especially relating to Shin-Ae and Nolan since it feels like they are the last pieces that need to fall into place so everything is ready for the post-timeskip story to go down. like you, I was so sure Nol and Shin-Ae were going to have some kind of reconciliation before he goes to jail but WELP rip 3 day extension. Poor guy though, Yui showing up in his hospital room must have been extremely triggering, it made sense that he did everything to get outta there ASAP. It's worrying me that this series of negative interactions (Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui) could've undone everything positive Shin-Ae Dieter Soushi Nana did, and now therapy during jail time could either have a positive or negative effect, so Nol is a Schroedinger's cat for now.... At least some things got cleared up and Shin-Ae is now starting to understand the root of the problem (= Yui) (and it actually really makes sense that she had to figure it out herself instead of Nol telling her - the boy obviously isn't ready to talk) so we made some progress.... But istg with this upcoming separation arc 2.0 it feels so much like we're gonna be back at ground zero after the first time skip. Fingers crossed they reconcile in whatever way before the big time skip though. we need a somewhat positive conclusion to this arc before season 1 ends, because if not then what was all this build up for, and why now? What about the realizations? the "convince me"? What about "if you won't let me have you"? If their reconciliation is only going to happen after multiple years of "conflict" between them that would be so cruel....

AND SHIN-AE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN HER BANDANA BACK and now he's stealing her lines too SDGDADSF;SDF

Waaaahhhhh thank you, friend!!! As you can probably tell, I'm still trying to get myself back here fully and figure out how to balance everything, which has always been a struggle ;~; I really may resort to telling my friends to ignore me and yell at me until I get certain posts written up so I'll stop procrastinating because there are SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT EPISODES I WANT TO RECAP AND TALK ABOUT!!!! BUT THE ORGANIZING MYSELF!!!! IS THE PART THAT'S SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!!!

One of the great things about the ILY discord server is that we have this very constant, active conversation going on at all times so it's SO easy to be very present and active, but I also find that it means it's more difficult for me to regulate myself, or I'll have that feeling that I JUST talked about something and so when I try to write about it over here, it feels like a hollow echo and I know that's just because I was just having the conversation so that's just something I need to work on dealing with lol

But I want to answer this before we move so far away from when you asked this!!!!! As expected, there are FP spoilers ahead for eps 246 through 249!!!!!

I!!!! DO NOT KNOW!!!!!!! LMAO Like. GOD. I feel like quimchee has thrown us curveball after curveball and when we sit down and think about how long this period of December 21 and the post December 21 arc has been, how much the story has weaved around?! There are so many things that have occurred that I NEVER expected and, like you, it's just everything I thought has clearly gone out the window. Part of it, I think, is the result of quimchee having to change the arrangement of her story, and god I would love to pick her brain about the things that changed, since Nol's injury was supposed to happen at the formal itself, we never would have had this extended period of hospital time, and it seems like everything about Nol and Shinae coming to realization with their feelings would have played out in a wholly different way than what we ended up getting, so on some level I think this is partly that quimchee, too, is sort of throwing herself cureveballs in that there are things she knows needs to happen and she isn't sure where or how to fit the other elements in? But that's just my guess.

On the one hand, I do feel very "WHAT WAS THE EXTENSION FOR IF NOT FOR RECONCILIATION?!" but beyond Stalkyoo, we have gotten a LOT of good stuff out of this period of time. We see Kousuke facing his cognitive dissonance for, perhaps, the first time, and the revelation that Yui has been drugging him (and likely for a long time, given the way Hansuke describe the dosage Kousuke had and that it merely knocked him out), and more than that, making those connections between Nol and Yui and tea, and wanting to face him. I'm STILL proud of him for wanting to go back and see Nol again, even after he couldn't face him, even after Hansuke found him on the floor of a public bathroom hugging a toilet from the remorse and guilt and perhaps shame of the realization of the ways he has hurt people - has hurt Nol! - who didn't deserve it. We have seen that Rand and Yujing are, in fact, working on something behind the scenes, that Rand is facing Yui as a real adversary now, not just someone who has been resigned to endure her for so many years now, but to actually fight against her. The entirety of Nol's birthday celebration could not have happened the way it did had he not been in the hospital, since he would have had to turn himself in, and while maybe the original plan was that they celebrated his birthday with Minhyuk's coming home party, I'm.... not sure if that would have been the case?

But at at any rate, I do acknowledge that despite the fact that it feels like Nol might be back at square one, that he and Shinae are back where they started in 151, such significant events HAVE taken place that I think will still affect the narrative future of ILY. I still feel strongly that part of Nol's trajectory is coming to terms with the fact that he does, indeed, belong here. That he isn't someone who wasn't meant to be, that he doesn't belong here. He belongs, and he deserves love. He is someone, not nothing. I still think one of his greater arcs will involve coming to embrace this, and while the negative events - Kousuke, Alyssa, Yui - feel like they could be setting him back, he is now equipped with knowledge and feelings he wasn't before. It can't hurt him the same. In fact, I think part of why his confrontation with Alyssa went the way it did was because he had had this experience with Shinae, Dieter, and Soushi, it illuminated everything that was so wrong with his relationship with Alyssa, how neither of them really know each other. It's that sense of foiling that allows him to put his foot down and say enough is enough. Even before it was revealed that Alyssa had come with Yui, it was clear that Nol was over the visit. Don't get me wrong - I understand why he couldn't see that Alyssa clearly was not well, that she was uncomfortable, that she had come to him with no one else to go to, much as he'd gone to Kousuke in the past when he lost his mom, and I also understand why he did the same thing Kousuke did and turned her away. But the point I'm getting at is, it feels like there was a shift. That birthday celebration illuminated something for Nol.

So it's kind of like, while it feels like this might have undone the progress Nol made, it can't undone the revelations he's had, and in that same way, it cannot cast shadow on his enlightenment. He is not the same Nol he was a week ago. Too much has changed, he's become aware of too much, and as such, he is going to respond differently to what comes his way, and while he may continue to try what he had originally intended, I think the difference is that he's now been made aware of things that impact the choices he makes.

But largely I don't really know what I expect just yet. I think it's very pointed that the lawyer reminded Shinae that she has his phone number; I don't think that would be called out if it wasn't going to be important in some way, but in terms of how are we going from here to there? Unsure lol. I think there HAS to be a resolution of some kind, whether it's a reconciliation or not, because Shinae is on this momentum swing that isn't going to stop until she crashes into something or she comes into a force of nature that stops her. Nothing, no one, has been able to reach her or get through to her, and I know it's just because of how much she's hurting, but she's lashing out at people and hurting THEM like a street cat swiping at people trying to help her. She's so terrified of losing Nol, especially now that he came back, especially now that she gave him the option to leave and he didn't and it rekindled that hope she gave him an opening to leave when it would have been easier and he didn't which just made it worse, because so much more was at stake. She can't stop fighting she can't stop trying because she cannot bear what it means to lose him for real this time, not when she finally had him back, not when that realization has come to her even if she won't admit it. She needs him, so what's going to make her give up?

Something has to transpire, whether it's a reconciliation or Nol pushing her away and really shattering her heart or something awful like that, to bring her to a halt, because I can't imagine how we would move into our mini time skip to spring/graduation with Shinae like this, right? So I think there must be some kind of resolution. My foolish, hopeless self wants so badly to hope for reconciliation but esp after 249 I am SO torn. I have two thoughts.

a. they reconcile. She can reach him, and convince him, and even though he is so afraid, he is also someone who folds in front of her, he struggles to resist her. He told her to convince him and boy she can convince him and even though he tells himself he isn't sure if these feelings are real because what if it's just because she's NICE to him I think hearing her confess her feelings would tell him how he feels and give him the answer.

b. But the alternative feels like a parallel to Nessa and Rand, because Nessa, too, was hurt over and over by someone who kept getting her hopes up and getting hurt by him. Shinae gave Nol the opportunity to leave and he didn't, he stayed and doing so sparked her hope, made her feel things, they shared these tender, intimate moments together and forced that realization to come to mind, but for him to push her away again, for her safety, to make choices on her behalf even though she's told him she hates that and she doesn't want him to. Imagine her pulling a Nessa and calling him scum lfkjajkfkjfjkfaj ;A;!!!!! Imagine her so angry and hurt and resentful and saying awful things she doesn't mean and GOD I feel like it can go only one of these ways because what ELSE is going to stop her in her tracks?!

And I really want a reconciliation because parting like this sets them up for SO. MUCH. STRIFE. Because we know one way or another Shinae is going to end up taking Yui's offer and if Nol leaves on these terms, he would end up thinking she's following in Alyssa's footsteps doing so, not understanding WHY she's doing, not understanding that this is Shinae's only way of protecting herself, learning to speak Yui's language and play her game.

and idk I know I'm a hopeful optimist reading a webtoon that proves to me over and over that I cannot be a hopeful optimist but LMAO GOD I WANT SHINAE TO CONVINCE THAT DUMBO

I've said it before that convincing him doesn't mean they have to get into a relationship. Just. Reconcile. She's so afraid of LOSING HIM, thinking that once he slips away he's out of her grasp, her sight, for good, that she will lose the best thing that happened to her and I WANT THAT RECONCILATION. I want her to convince him, for both their sakes. So that he knows he has someone he can go back to. So that she knows he's not just throwing her away. So that she doesn't have to fear losing something so precious and important.

Am I foolish and hopeful for hoping for that outcome? Maybe, but it won't stop me LMAO because as delicious and angsty as Shinae and Nol following in Ressa's footsteps with Nol hurting her again and leaving her so hurt and angry is, I want to see them on that same page. I want to see Shinae convince him - convince him why he is so important to her, and that his feelings are real. That's the thing, right, like.... you can tell yourself that your feelings aren't real, but if the person you like confesses to you, your heart will inevitably betray you and respond to the confession. Nol fears for Shinae's safety but important puzzle pieces are falling into place. She has figured what he fears the most - and if she thinks hard enough she'll realize how she can use that to her "advantage", in that Rand has told her Yui will never let her go, that it doesn't matter if Nol leaves or not. It goes back to my oft repeated sentiment of them needing to be on the same page, to be a team, because his absence will not protect her. And between what Rand told her, plus her anecdotes about Kousuke's birthday and how Yui treated her even before the formal, and what Yujing told Nol about Kousuke being drugged by Yui, maybe, just MAYBE that conclusion that wasn't only him all along will finally hit him. I know he can't change over night, that he has so many deeply ingrained fears that won't be easily assuaged, but I have to hope that a confession from Shinae can convince him that the alternative is worse. Convince him to fight along side her ;A;

I go back and forth on this thought but I think this is strongly what I feel right now. That reconciliation could still be around the corner, even if it's just an admission and a promise to not push her away. Shinae is tired of people acting on her behalf, tired of not getting a say, and especially in something that involves her heart, her feelings?

Go fight girl and maybe bite him if that's what it takes ;A;

STEALING HER BANDANA. HER LINES. HERT HEART. THIS MAN DESERVES TO BE LOCKED AWAY

ALFJLFJLFKJLAFKJLKFJALKFJ

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY Ask #ILY Spoilers #ILY FP #Shinae Yoo #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Stalkyoo #Aegi #oh you know just me wailing into the night about stalkyoo nbd alkfjjkafjkafjkajfkajfjaf lmao #I PLANNED TO ANSWER THIS AND BE CHILL BUT I DON'T HAVE CHILL and then when i was wailing about Shinae giving Nol the chance to leave and ho #part of why she is so desperate is she can't lose him again not when she almost did not when he came back not when she gave him the chance #to leave and he chose to stay and saw the parallel to Nessa and Rand and it was just ALL DOWNHILL FROM THERE LMAO #AGONY #ANGUISH #PLS PLS PLS LET ME GET WHAT I WANT #lmao #plssssssssssssssssssssss #can you imagine how awful it would be if they didn't reconcile until post time skip?!#jesus christ HOW do you even reconcile after that?!#HOWLS FOREVER

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