#after I've calmed down

[kolwyntjie]

w.what happened to tumblr dash. i feel like I just woke up from a coma and all the contacts in my phone were deleted. where are the icons. who are these people. who am i

#what #what happened to the dash #I just came on here to post for Feysand week what #text post #will probably delete later #after I've calmed down

[royalarchivist]

I love the QSMP. Not only has it introduced me to many amazing international creators, it's also introduced me to the French and Brazilian community, who are so sweet, funny, and chaotic in their own unique ways. I love seeing fans sharing their culture and learning from one another, and I myself have learned a lot this past year. I think it's incredible how QSMP brings so many different people together – all of us united in our love and passion for this project and its goals.

But passion can often evoke strong emotions, and these strong emotions aren't always positive.

The past few months, I have seen multiple waves of hate, bad-faith generalizations of communities, and racist remarks directed at fellow fans – especially those who are part of the French / Brazilian community. This kind of behavior is inexcusable, and is in direct conflict with the mission of QSMP, which is to break language barriers and unite communities.

We are a global community with a variety of people from different backgrounds. Miscommunications may occasionally occur because of cultural differences and/or language barriers, but we should use these moments as opportunities to learn and engage with other people rather than assuming the worst about them and starting fights.

Although certain issues can be resolved with communication, sometimes it’s better to block and move on. Avoid spreading negativity or hate, and save yourself the headache of interacting with people who are just looking for someone to argue with.

No matter what community we're a part of or what languages we speak, we're all here to have fun. Please remember to be kind to each other. We have more in common than we have in conflict.

#QSMP #mod talk #Additionally: we should avoid stereotyping entire communities for reasons I hope are obvious. #I think everything will work out in the end #I don't typically see this kind of stuff on here but I figured I'd post this anyways since I'm posting it to Twitter too #It's understandable that emotions are high because of everything that's happened to the QSMP community the past few months #but it's very sad to see fans attacking each other #everyone's a bit on edge it seems. I rarely use my personal Twitter but I opened it today and saw some close mutuals snapping at people #then after stepping away and calming down coming back to a conversation and apologizing #it's sad to see everyone in this state #So... comments from the peanut gallery I suppose. I do hope this helps someone though #I don't usually post things like this because frankly- #I don't think every single drama / controversy / whatever necessitates a public statement from every single member of the fandom #but I've been thinking a lot about this #Anyhoo. Hopefully I can start sharing clips again tomorrow. I've been moving the past week and life was hellish #hopefully things ease up a bit now

[orionsangel86]

Suddenly remembering the best and funniest Good Omens fanfiction I ever read which was set at a mutual Heaven and Hell "work party" and all the demons had bets to see who could bed an angel by the end of the night. It was hilarious and of course you read it presuming that Crowley will win but be gentlemanly enough to not claim the prize - which of course is what happens, but at the last minute it hits you around the face by revealling that Beelzebub hooked up with Gabriel

and well.

I think I'm gonna go reread that fic...

#true story this fic was the first time i even considered ineffable beurocracy #i dont think i even knew the ship name until after i read that fic #I hope the writer is having a great day today #once my emotions have calmed down and I've stopped spiralling over the last 10 mins of GOS2 #I think its really gonna hit me that they made a former crack ship canon #BEFORE CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE #unbelievable #Neil Gaiman I do wonder if maybe you've spent too long on tumblr #you clearly think like one of us #lmao #good omens #good omens season 2 spoilers

[here-there-were-dragons]

just read the new hatchling skin rules and am having Some Type Of Initial Emotional Reaction and am now writing down said Initial Emotional Reaction uncensored as i currently Strongly Feel A Type Of Way and Require Venting. i cannot word this more politely. i do not have the capability to render this rage into polite borderline corporate-speak for the sake of the damn rules that act like anything short of apologizing for being alive to make up for having even the most constructive understanding friendly criticism or even personal mild non-critical dislike of something like a color or a breed is tantamount to personal targeted hatemail. i cannot wait until i cool into calm bitterness later because if i think about this enough to write about it again i will just go right back to being furious and the fact that everyone ielse who's complaining is focusing entirely on the lolita fashion thing and not on in my opinion the far more significant and offensive part is pissing me off even more. extremely angry unedited ranting ahead

fr having it's own "female presenting nipples" moment right now, not that i'm particularly surprised, they've been a prime example of "conservative protestantism in a lefty-language veneer" for a long while now.

"don't adultify" is such a fucking vague and easily selectively interpreted rule, not to mention insulting for a number of reasons,

but putting that part aside the whole idea of "nothing that suggests that the dragon is an adult in a young body" is. look, i'm not exactly fond of the "adult who looks like an anime schoolgirl" trope myself, but i fail to see how in the absolute FUCK having it be canon in-universe that it is both possible and legal for someone to be forced to stay as a child permanently, is somehow LESS creepy than just saying eternal youth dragons have dwarfism. also, fuck you to anyone with dwarfism apparently i guess?

and "no zombie baby dragons" is just stupid. even fucking minecraft has baby zombies, and microsoft has steadily butchered that game into one of the most t for toddler babymode things on earth this side of cocomelon.

and "no scars on hatchlings" so fuck you to any kids with scars too apparently, even though that's way more common than anyone seems to realize. you hear that, kids? if you're under 18 and have scars your very existence is too obscene for public view. 13+ year olds will be irreparably traumatized if they have to know you exist at all! fuck you disabled kids and fuck you amputee kids and fuck you any kids that have suffered anything ever at all for not appearing as a perfect unspoiled image of conservative christian child-doll innocent purity. flight rising staff says your body and existence is inherently too nsfw to even be acknowledged as existing much less visually seen. everyone knows REAL children don't get damaged at all, and if they do then they're too horrifying and defective at their job of Being A Child Properly to exist in public spaces! how dare ugly things that might make us uncomfortable with their existence by contradicting out ideals about aesthetic moral purity be allowed where good respectable normal people can see them!

i don't say any of these words lightly, and i'm very much not the type to go around calling people whatever-ists and in fact find that kind of thing extremely annoying, useless, reductive, and more or less only ever see it used as a blunt cudgel to shame people into line so they don't question you, and have historically found it especially annoying when people pull out the accusations-of-ism card on fr staff over things that are far more likely just completely understandable (if dubiously competent) issues of certain things simply not occurring to someone on code and design level due to lack of sufficient exposure to the idea, and have always been of the belief of giving them the benefit of doubt (even if often that just means i think they either most likely made an understandable mistake that i would likely also make, or, when i'm feeling less kind, that they're simply not particularly competent rather than actively hostile) so understand how much it means coming from me when i say- flight rising staff, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you, you ableist batch of pricks, so far up your own asses with your performative veneer of vaguely lefty-flavored language that you don't realize how fundamentally extremely conservative all of your actual beliefs underlying them are. for every update you make that i approve of there's another that does twice as much damage as the good update fixed (and i'm starting to wonder if you maybe know what you're doing with that too-always batching the fucked up shit on the tail end of some big thing you know people will be excited about, always hiding these controversial moderation changes under something shiny and new, to the point that now i dread any new good update that genuinely seems a step in the right direction and/or is something we've been wanting for awhile because i'm just constantly expecting the knife hidden behind the footnotes afterwards, the fucking "ban tiktok/gay marriage/strip rights from this population/end net neutrality/whatever/ect" clause stapled onto the end of a bill about something entirely unrelated functionally holding a change people want hostage until they allow the fucked up part through. i've been here most of the site's 10+ years and i've seen this sort of thing happen far, far too often.) and every year the shit that gets pulled on the management and moderation end of things makes me more and more almost glad i've never had an income to spend on this, and the fact that apparently the moderation behind every single other petsite in existence is somehow significantly worse fucking astounds me. the only reason i stay around here is because It's Free Dragon Pictures, because it's literally the only actually good petsite game i've ever played and not gotten sick of within a week or so (and really the only good low-energy game i've ever played in general, which i'm increasingly convinced is in spite of it's management), and because somehow, despite all of this shit, i still genuinely love the game itself, because unfortunately by some accident of creation it seems they apparently stumbled purely by coincidence into making an actually good game idea no one else quite has. and after all the fuckery that gets constantly pulled, i refuse to believe the game being good is anything other than, much like many of the of the incidents i think they're unfairly accused of malice and -ism over, an accident.

Disabled children too obscene to fucking exist. fuck you. good to know half the child population's existence requires a trigger warning to even be allowed to be acknowledged as existing to you. good to know if the heart surgery i had when i was 11 had left any visible external scars i would be considered inherently too obscene to exist to you. good to know if the overhealed and benignly potentially cancerous scar on my back from whatever actually happened when i was a toddler (i don't trust either of my parents to ever be accurate about something like that) was in a more visible spot you would demand i have a trigger warning to post selfies online. good to know if any of the shit that's broken me emotionally left visible physical marks you would think it was good and right for me to be forcibly hidden from good normal people's view and considered too taboo for even the slightest discussion without hiding it with makeup and lies, just so i don't make good, lucky, undamaged, normal people uncomfortable, god fucking forbid. should we hide the gays too, since they also make so many people uncomfy? i imagine it won't be long before disabled adults are too obscene for your polite societytm sensibilities too. i've had the feeling for a long time that amputee and disabled skins were living on borrowed time with your rules, kept technically not explicitly dissalowed where all other forms of injury and ""body horror"" are banned simply out of fear of the backlash it would cause to include them, and well. the doomsday clock on that one just got a little bit closer to midnight, huh?

the only reason i wasn't a (physically, visibly, externally) scarred kid was pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you weren't a physically scarred kid too is pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you're not some type of disfigured or ugly or amputated or visibly injured or whatnot is pure sheer fucking luck. you're lucky. nothing more. if having to contend with that fact-the fact of how easily it could have gone a different way and there is nothing they would be able to do about it- makes good normal tm people uncomfortable, then well, get the fuck used to it, other people children very much fucking included don't exist to cater to the aesthetic sensibilities of a lucky perfect few. the only thing that separates you from the damaged ones you find too obscene is a bad day and an unlucky hand. and one day, even if you were lucky enough to escape being damaged when you were young, you and i will both be just like them too.

more festival skin winners slots is good. elemental swords sound fun.

#flight rising #how do i always and only end up in fandoms where either the fans or the creators or the fans and the creators #are downright insufferable crypto-conservative nutjobs of the type who tend to think justifying suicide baiting is ever okay #i'm sure i'll cool down to a more calm bitterness on this eventually but for right now i've just read the post and my initial reaction #is still Burning Hot #you have touched upon a trigger subject and I Am Very Angry #the stupid school dress code-ass clothing rules is dumb but wouldn't have gotten much out of me other than an eye roll on it's own #but no scars? no sign of past injury? no implication of disability? no uggos basically? #everyone else who is angry is focusing on the dumb dress code rules when this bullshit is right fucking there #the experience of being an fr player all these years has been a slow building of papercut after papercut #with everyone telling you it's not that bad #until you're the unreasonable one for being so angry over 'just a papercut' #and you have no good way to tell them that it's been 'just a papercut' over and over and over again for *years* #and you would very much like if the chill thing that's supposed to be a low-investment de-stressor would STOP GIVING YOU PAPERCUTS #i don't know how much i can give the benefit of doubt anymore

[genericpuff]

lmfaooo pressed as hell because an actual indigenous person is standing up to your cracker ass nonsense girl stfuuuuuu

bruh you're the one in my inbox getting mad at me for talking about being indigenous on my own blog, go outside 😂 like damn with that amount of internalized racism, what country are you indigenous to ?? England??

#'standing up to my cracker ass nonsense' #i gotta say i gotta give you credit #this is the first time i've experienced the kind of racism that my siblings usually experience #i've NEVER gotten bullied for being 'too white' #and by someone who's also indigenous ?? that colonization got to you fam because you're sounding awfully white #“yOu'Re sO oFFeNdEd aFtEr i aNtAgOniZeD yOu” #“cALm dOwN”

[trans-xianxian]

*holding my little wei wuxian plush in my hands* please mr yiling laozu help me pass my drivers test

#do you guys think wei wuxian would be a good driver. I feel like I've made a poll abt that before #I think teen wwx would be a really reckless driver but adult wwx would be safer #wen ning would be too 'nice' of a driver #jc would be a good driver if not for the road rage #I think jyl would be an Excellent driver esp since she def spent her teen years driving her little brothers around #lwj straight up does not know how to drive. on account of the baby brother but also on account of the rich kid #lxc is a good driver no notes #wen qing... hm #she probably spent a lot of time driving wn around and is a medical doctor who probably sees the consequences of bad drivers often #but I can't imagine she'd Enjoy driving. probably prefers public transit honestly #back to wwx as always I'm on my motorcycle rider wwx agenda #but I think after having kids he'd be a hashtag truck dad #anyway this is how I'm calming down for my drivers test #what if I put all of my little guys in cars. smiles. #ghost posts #text #wwx

[da-proti-toku-grem]

how do you know the difference between a huge anxiety attack and a panic attack?

#i think i had a panic attack yesterday but idk...... #god it felt so awful and it went on for like 3 hours #but i also had like a hundred things going on so idk if it was like the accumulation of everything or if it was really a panic attack yk #i was at the fair with my family waiting for my best friend to arrive bc i was going to hang out with her #and yk it's a place full of people and we were standing right next to a huge speaker hearing a man talk #and also each place in the fair has different music playing super loud and you can hear all of them at the same time (+ the flashing lights #all that causes me anxiety every since i was little (even if i didn't know it was anxiety back then) #so i *knew* i was going to have the greatest time and i didn't really want to go there in the first place #but even with that i wasn't really haven't a bad time (yet) #we were just stading there and i was waiting for my friend to call me so we could go somewhere else #she called me to tell me she was coming and right when i hung up the phone i felt a really strong pang on my belly #and idk at first i thought it was period cramps but it was weird bc my period had actually stopped that same morning #also i had taken a painkiller right before going there bc all that i mentioned earlier also gives me migraines so there's that too #so yeah the pangs kept getting stronger and it hurt so fucking bad to the point my legs started trembeling #my vision blured and every sound around me seemed to almost fade away #there wasn't any place i could sit down so i gad to cling to my dad and he had to hold me so i didn't fall to the ground #i think i almost (?) fainted in his arms too #after a while the dizzines went away and my dad went to get me smth to drink and i mostly got my hearing and vision back to normal #all that was like 10 minutes max but then the pangs kept hitting every minute or so for the next 3 hours #we found a place to sit and find smth to eat but i couldn't eat anything without wanting to throw up #my legs wouldn't stop shaking like fucking crazy and i kept going from feeling like i was freezing to sweating from how hot i felt #idk i've had smth like this (w/o the pangs) happen to me before a bunch of times but never That strong and it usually lasted 5-10min max #we ended up having to go home and i had to take some more painkillers and my sleeping pills to be able to calm down a little #i'm pretty sure i fell asleep from exhaustion after everything and i'm still feeling a bit weird after almost 24 hours since it happened #anyways. the thing is idk if all that was caused bc of my anxiety #or if it was smth completely unrelated and i just had such a bad tummy ache that it made me feel bad enough to cause All That yknow #i think it felt pretty much like how i've heard people describe a panic attack but again i'm not sure #yeah......... #maca speaks

[appalachianapologies]

[random drabble to get you through the day]

“I was able to hack her stuff pretty easily.”

“That didn’t take long.” 

Riley sends Mac a look. “I’m sorry, have we met? Riley Davis, hacker extraordinaire.”

Rolling his eyes, Mac replies, “You know what I mean. What’d you find?”

“The usual. For a double or triple or quadruple—or whatever type of agent she is—Nikki doesn’t encrypt her files as much as she should. I’ve already sent the juicy stuff to Patty.”

“Nice.” Giving a nod, Mac pulls a spare wheeled chair toward Riley’s desk and sits down. “What’re you doing now, then?”

“Oh, just having some fun.”

“Should I ask?”

“Probably not, but I’ll tell you anyway.”

With a poorly contained smile, Mac says, “Go for it.”

“After getting the goods out of her laptop, I hacked into her phone. Weakest wifi password in the history of ever, by the way.”

“Noted.”

“And she’s been listening to Spotify for the past three or so hours, so if I were to guess, she’s probably doing some other task while listening to music in the background.”

Mac gives another nod, still not exactly sure where this is going.

“So, like I said, I decided to have a little fun, and I wrote up some quick code this morning before you and Jack got here.”

“Code for what?”

“Basically,” Riley starts, “I made it so randomly in the middle of her songs, Spotify will pause itself.”

“Is that… it?”

“Yep.”

“Riley, what the fuck?”

Turning her head away from the monitor, she looks at Mac. “What, I can’t have some fun? When I wasn’t doing hacktivist stuff, this is basically all I’d do.”

A stuttered laugh escapes Mac before he can stop it. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this side of you.”

“She’s been dormant for a while,” Riley confirms, “but I think it’s time I bring that part of me back.”

#i have no idea where this came from btw. it just kinda. happened. #i should absolutely 100% be working on homework but have this instead. and NOW i'll go work on homework #in which vi actually writes #macgyver #macgyver 2016 #angus macgyver #riley davis #drabbles #spy siblings #if anyone tags this with a ship i'm gonna fucking come for you and i don't mean that in a joking manner #anyway. bone apple tea #i just needed to write something before homework mode because i've been lowkey highkey anxious this morning for literally zero reason #and i think it's getting better. still frustrating though. literally no reason for this #me @ my brain: you are in a libRARY NOT A WARZONE CALM TF DOWN #anyway. spy siblings content my beloved <3 #i have many MANY riley thoughts about her not feeling like herself after prison because you know. prison. #and her slowly gaining confidence and being more like the person before prison (not that she can ever be that same person again because tha #t's not how people work and the inherent changing of a person throughout their lifetime is beautiful but you know what i mean #right? #also unrelated but why the FUCK is there a creepy pirate #i hate it

[shikai-the-storyteller]

TBH the best case scenarios in my mind for Fit's lore ending on Thursday are either:

Madagio has mercy. They know what it's like to lose everyone they love, and seeing what's happening on Quesadilla Island is just a reminder of everything they loved and lost. Madagio releases Fit, and he reunites with Pac e Mike and Richarlyson, and they're all able to leave Quesadilla Island.

Or:

Madagio and Fit destroy the Federation together. Fit goes full 2B2T mode and there's nothing left of the Federation once they're finished. Madagio and Fit finally have their revenge. (And then maybe Fit can reunite with Pac + all his loved ones and they escape the Island, or reclaim the island for their own since the Federation no longer has any power over them).

Bonus: A very unlikely but "Wouldn't it be fun?" scenario would be Pac and Mike flying down on a fully-grown dragon Richas and rescuing Fit from Vacuus Island and they fly away and live happily ever after.

#i talk #qsmp talk #Genuinely need a vacation after the past two weeks (or however long it's been) #I keep seeing people say ''the best case scenario is Fit dying lol'' and I clearly care WAY too much because seeing that made me legit mad #Did my whole ''lmao ok let's calm down and take a walk'' and went out for a few hours only to come back and be like #''no actually I'm still mad. This entire situation sucks.'' #I think this will probably be the last mcyt type series I let myself get invested in. I'm so exhausted of being disappointed #and the constant angst the fandom churns out #I wanna be able to love things without getting burned #I've got enough things to be sad over irl I don't want my escapism series making me sad too #Worst case scenario for me is Fit dying or him getting trapped in 2b2t again #and/or him saying q!Pac is dead #I'll be honest: CCs killing off their character feels like a betrayal to the people who have spent so much time loving them #and like yeah there probably ARE ways to do it well #but it's like. why would you choose that option there are so many better options #negative #idk man I'm just frustrated by this whole thing #all the untagged suicide jokes are making me frustrated too

[giolovesyousm]

the dead poets society fandom really need to calm down, midnights came out only yesterday CHILL OUT EVERYBODY WITH THESE EDITS

#i've seen like already ten different edits #CALM. DOWN. #no one is running after you #dead poets society #dps fandom #dead poets headcanons #neil perry #todd anderson #anderperry #charlie dalton #stephen meeks #richard cameron #gerard pitts

[lenievi]

Jean Valjean had only two thoughts: to hide his name and sanctify his life & escape from men and return to God

but he would sacrifice the first for the second, his safety for his virtue

he could not fire Javert because he would sacrifice his virtue if he fired Javert in that moment. Because Javert was actually right (despite being completely fooled at that time), and Javert was dangerous, and Valjean could make him go, but he couldn't because it wouldn't be right.

and that's literally it imho. Valjean as Madeleine acts with and around Javert (or anyone, really, Javert isn't special, Madeleine doesn't treat him any different than others) in a way that doesn't sacrifice his virtue. He will sacrifice his safety (i.e. Fauchelevent) but not his virtue

You can also see it in this imho:

“Javert, you are a man of honor, and I esteem you. You exaggerate your fault. Moreover, this is [another] offence which concerns me. Javert, you deserve promotion instead of degradation. I wish you to retain your post.” [Hapgood, but I added "another" since it's missing]

He can't punish Javert for being right. He alludes back to Fantine spitting on him. "Madeleine", not anyone or anything else, was wronged and he chose not to punish in both cases.

He might not like Javert; Javert has been troubling him, following him, he's been a danger to him (for almost 5 years), but he wouldn't sacrifice his virtue for Javert, and firing Javert would do that imho (and at that time, it would "soil Madeleine")

Javert, you deserve promotion instead of degradation. = is such a good irony, but it probably went over Javert's head completely. But moreover, that line literally makes no sense in context unless you consider "you are actually right" (and you don't know it; ironic, isn't it?)

---

That's why I like Javert's line from LM 2000 (which might just be taken from somewhere from the book anyway) that goes: [Valjean] goes against order, against law, and against his own interests.

#leni reads les miserables #idk if this makes sense but i wanted to write it down #after reading valjean's struggling my opinion about jean = champ chapter didn't actually change #i think it was pretty clear that he was disturbed at the beginning and then he calmed down and became 'madeleine' #before reading this chapter i've seen 'javert has been annoying me' floating around and i really don't like the choice of 'annoy' #it has connotations that aren't supposed to be there imho #since the verb used in french is 'troubler' #but what do i know as esl #but none of the three translations in my native language translated it with anything resembling my understanding of 'annoy' #and wilbour doesn't either #javert #jean valjean

[infizero]

ok after listening to the english version of the death note musical....... unpopular opinion i think but i actually prefer the japanese version? dont get me wrong, with some of the songs i do think i might like the eng version more but..... idk i like the lyrics of the japanese version a lot more? and obviously i only know them via a translation but i know for a fact that the entire focus of certain songs are different between versions.

like in the english version of the game begins, L is talking about his strategy to track down kira. but in the japanese version, he's more so talking TO kira directly and saying that he's going to take him down from his "god" status to hell. or mortals and fools, which had a wholeee different vibe in the japanese version being called like a cruel dream. and uhhhh am i insane or was rem's song before she dies an entirely different song? cause in english it was like a sort of generic love song that was pretty chill considering the context, while in the japanese version it was this superrr melancholic and striking ballad she sang while floating around misa.

idk but i really do think i prefer the japanese version. but the og english version is good too!!! i really liked hurricane and the way it ends in particular

#in ''the way it ends'' btw light saying to L ''i've always stayed a step ahead; but you were with me all the way'' almost made me cry WHATTT #WHO MADE HIM FUCKING SAY THATTTTT THATS SUCH AN INSANE LYRIC #but anyway yeah i think i prefer the jp version a good amount #another thing was um. and this might be a stupid thing to be weird about but. L's actor was too passionate for my tastes #<- that sounds insane but if you know anime L you know what i mean right. like hes pretty reserved #and i felt in the japanese production i watched L's actor there was still a great performer and singer like putting work into those songs #while still keeping that air of L being more reserved and like. flat almost? i feel like the guy playing L in the eng version was too much #like ''im BELTTTINGGGGGG HOW IM GONNA FUCKING CATCCHHHH KIRA!!!!!!!!!!'' like bro calm down...... #ITS A GOOD PERFORMANCE it just doesnt read as L to me. and like thats fine whatever its an adaptation #but also in the japanese version they still did that adaptation while making L feel more like himself. so idk man #but anyway I WANNA SEE THIS NEW LONDON PRODUCTION SOOOOOOOO BAD #IVE SEEN PHOTOS AND IT LOOKS SO GOOD THE SET IS SOOOOOO COOL LOOKING OML #i need to see this musical live at SOME point in my life. pleaseeee can we get a north america production after this #serena.txt #death note posting

[hiding-under-the-willow]

I'm half asleep and running basically entirely on hyperfixation fumes so this thought process might be literally nothing but I'm thinking about how we as the viewer don't get to start making decisions in the Markiplier Cinematic Universe Canon until after the DA's death in WKM. We experience the entire series through their point of view and it's presumed we continue to inhabit their character throughout the canon (at least through date and heist, I'm ignoring space for my purposes bc my grasp on how that fits into the story is fuzzy at best on a good day lmao) but it isn't until after the events of wkm have played out that we start making decisions on their behalf

But anyways something something at the end of wkm they die at the hands of Wil, and they give up their body to Damien and Celine, and their story to Mark, and their autonomy to the viewer. Someone who isn't eepy as hell turn this into a more coherent line of thought for me

#atlas speaks #realizing that this is also very similar to the ways in which ut and dr fans tend to interpret the relationship of the player to the pcs #so that's fun #anyways i can tell my brain is in like creative hyperfocus looking for a new idea to latch onto mode #because I've been bouncing off of different project and story and art ideas all day #woke up this morning incredibly invested in the idea of a full recreation of the wkm house in minecraft #which somehow led to a brief reunion between me and my middle school wkm marble hornets au #honestly still tempted by that one might come back to that when my brain calms down #ended up on some sonic movie fanart bullshit by earlier this afternoon so that might be something y'all get in the next few days #and then i went to lay down and go to bed and somehow landed on this line of thought #so anyways if i come back online to post more random bullshit again after this yell at me to go tf to sleep it's 11pm lmao #I'm so eepy i should not be posting

[cinewhore]

I really wish I could explain this brain fog and general numbness I've been experiencing for the last month.

I can't do anything for pleasure anymore lol it's just come home, look at the wall and pretend to sleep for eight hours.

#I'm sure after things calm down at work I can slowly start to enjoy stuff #but I am sooooo fucking fatigued my god #its a struggle to make dinner and shower sometimes #I've been taking sleep aids and would yall believe me when I say they don't work anymore #I just wanna see a movie :(

[chiropteracupola]

the wind and sea do follow thee /

and all the ledges calling thee...

#em draws stuff #treasure island #squire trelawney #doctor livesey #selkie au #it's been long and long but I've had these two on the brain lately #and because my current fic is un-illustratable for several reasons I decided to pop back over to an old favorite #'peter kagan and the wind' has been my song for calming down lately and it's a very similar vibe to what I want out of the selkie au #it has actually been eight months since I've drawn trelawney and I've decided to change up his design after years and years #liking the new shapes (which I can actually draw well I think) #specifically right where his neck and shoulder meet - it's closer to how he's built in my head than I've ever captured before #and I've been liking the more defined pockmarks that I do on alan so I've decided to bring those over #I'd always intended for some similar stuff texture-wise on trelawney but I wasn't being very confident in it so it was difficult to see #but in the end this is just me splashing all manner of things that I like for these two into one drawing #good saturated purples and my best attempt at those mignola-esque gravestones and a try at capturing how tom harpernovakaine writes them... #this whole thing went through many moments of looking unsalvageable but in the end it is probably one of my best drawings of them #I have a very early livesey drawing stuck to the back of the ol' ipad so it's really cool to hold that up and compare how far I've come #it's been an interesting three years and I think I'm a much more confident artist now!

[transxfiles]

got 19 hours of sleep yesterday and apparently my parents + sister genuinely worried i was dead for a little bit. no i just needed to hibernate a little. it happens.

#when i finally woke up i was like [all chipper and everything too] ''WOW i feel so well rested! i needed that :)'' #and my mom started flipping out like ARE YOU OKAY?? and i was like ?? ye #apparently they were trying to wake me up but they couldn't (i've always been a deep sleeper) #i was like mom remember how i graduated high school and immediately fell asleep and then basically hibernated on and off for the next week #and half after. and she was like oh you did do that. and i was like [gestures vaguely at situation] same thing #that calmed her down. #im just sleepy!! it's the work and the colelge getting to me bro! #cricket.chatterbox