#adlerian psychology

[goblinofthesun]

"Precisely when the child becomes capable of reciprocity, when he realizes that he, too, must give, the behavior of adults change: they now want to teach the child that he has no rights and is inferior because he lacks knowledge and ability to decide what he should and should not do." - Sperber, 1974, pp. 99-100

#childism #youth liberation #Sperber #Adlerian psychology #individual psychology #youth rights #quote

[crstnjnblr]

Finally finished The Courage To Be Disliked. I must confess there were moments of frustration and grappling with the ideas and literally tossing the book away lol. Welp, it really challenged my mind's framework but coming into the last chapters, the pieces finally fell into place.

"The life that ends at the age of twenty and the life that ends at ninety are both complete lives, and lives of happiness." This is my nth self help book since my mom died. Idk, perhaps I'm looking for an affirmation or something about her life, her death, or just human life in general. And this felt like it. Every time people talk about my mom, most of the time, it goes about how untimely it was. And even within my own family, I would constantly hear my brother say "sayang, hindi ko man lang naparamdam kay mama 'to *insert typical milestone*"... I know (and it also awfully pains me tbh) that she died without experiencing a lot of things. She didn't get to see my brother finish law school, didn't get to see me in my Sablay on a stage, didn't get to see another country, didn't get to see us married or have grandchildren, etc. I totally get the guilt and regret, but there's also a strong internal debate that it isn't right to feel that her life went about just like that because she missed some "core memories." I know deep in my heart that she lived earnestly and the people saying "sayang kasi hindi *ganito*, hindi *ganyan*" - we are all wrong. She's the kind of person who actually lived the series of moments of her life (that's why she's such a sunshine even if she's just playing candy crush or watching K-drama) and that is enough. Her life wasn't unfulfilled just because she didn't get to see these milestones set by others and arrived at their expectations.

She danced and her dance ended at fifty-eight. It is a complete, fulfilled life, a life of happiness.

#jrnl #dear paeng #the courage to be disliked #adlerian psychology

[ikenagi]

The key to self-growth: What is the secret to building a happy life?

“The courage to be hated: The teachings of Adler, the source of self-development” by Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga

Based on Alfred Adler's principles, the book "The Courage to Be Disliked" offers a strategy for leading a happy life. Adlerian psychology is a branch of psychology that promotes the search for personal fulfillment and meaning in life while understanding how social interactions affect an individual's behavior and thought processes. This book explains how to approach self-development, enhancing relationships, and accomplishing goals using Adler's theories.

The narrative is told through made-up dialogue. The narrative shows the young man who is the primary character's journey toward understanding Adler's ideas. He starts to doubt his life and learns about Adlerian psychological theories. There, he picks up techniques based on Adlerian psychology to boost self-esteem, enhance interpersonal connections, and accomplish goals.

Adlerian psychology is concerned with interpersonal connections and situates each person's actions and ideas within a larger social framework. Since humans are social creatures, it is believed that a person's interactions with other people have a big influence on their thoughts and behaviors. As a result, Adlerian psychology is thought to be useful in a number of areas of life, including goal-achieving, enhancing interpersonal connections, and self-esteem.

"The Courage to Be Disliked" is a widely recognized book that offers practical strategies and an easy-to-understand explanation of Adlerian psychology theory. For many readers, it serves as a helpful introduction to psychology because of its narrative style and concise explanations. Furthermore, it is said that the method for developing oneself and enhancing relationships that is founded on Adler's ideas is applicable in everyday life.

#Adlerian Psychology #Self-development #Improving interpersonal relationships

[readersjournal]

Live in this moment !!

Live in this moment !!

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart It seems a pervasive picture, not even adequately clicked, yet it holds an untold story and an important lesson we all should learn from it. I clicked this photo last year when I visited my brother’s flat and one evening I was standing…

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#adlerian psychology #Human psychology #live in this moment #living in present #philosophy

[loveindeeair]

25 pages into this book, boy, I am not a fan of Adlerian Psychology and am ready for a fist fight with the philosopher. 😤 #1Week1book

The enso circle is kinda comforting though.

By Ichiro Kishimi & Fumitake Koga

#the courage to be disliked #ichiro kishimi #books #notes #notebook #journaling #Fumitake Koga

[ursine-sister]

I studied adlerian psychology and don’t have a praise kink anymore

[drdemonprince]

What do you know about the adlerian approach to autism, and therapists that might practice it? I have recently realized I am autistic and trying to find someone to talk to to help me work with this, and almost all of the therapists/counselors in my area who specialize in working with autistic adults seem to mention the adlerian approach. I am doing some research, but am curious if you have any opinions or information about this??

yeah, i used to teach at a for-profit PsyD school that was rooted in Adlerian psychology and it blew and they really took advantage of their students. i think it's pretty culty and unsubstantiated by research tbh

[stellasolaris]

sometimes i forget that not many people are familiar with adlerian psychology and therefore do not seem to fully (or at all) understand what 'superiority complex' truly means. nothing wrong with not knowing, of course, but it is a bit frustrating when terms like that get thrown around in the media in the most reductive way possible.

anyway. anyone up for a nerdy fun riven meta?

#it's about how riven uses his superiority complex as a coping mechanism to deal with feelings of inferiority in the first half of season one #and how it explains a lot of his behavior in canon before his superiority complex dissolves into an inferiority complex #spoiler alert: he's never been a malicious asshole or a bad boy! #and this time i have notes from an actual adlerian psychologist and philosopher #(no for real i have several highlighted passages and notes from 2022) #(and yes there are plenty of other factors to describe his behavior. i'll just be focusing on one aspect) #liv speaks #winx riven

[neurotypicallyalexis]

different types of therapies

accelerated experimental dynamic psychotherapy

acceptance and commitment therapy

Adlerian therapy

animal-assisted therapy

applied behavior analysis

art therapy

attachment-based therapy

bibliotherapy

biofeedback

brain stimulation therapy

Christian Counseling

coaching

cognitive behavioral therapy

cognitive processing therapy

cognitive stimulation therapy

compassion-focused therapy

culturally sensitive therapy

dance therapy

dialectical behavior therapy

eclectic therapy

emotionally focused therapy

equine-assisted therapy

existential therapy

experimental therapy

exposure and response prevention

expressive arts therapy

eye movement desensitzation therapy

family systems therapy

feminist therapy

forensic therapy

gestalt therapy

human givens therapy

hymanistic therapy

hypnotherapy

imago relationship therapy

integrative therapy

internal family systems therapy

interpersonal psychotherapy

jungian therapy

marriage and family therapy

mentalization-based therapy

motivational interviewing

multicultural therapy

music therapy

narrative therapy

neuro-linguistic programming therapy

neurofeedback

parent-child interaction therapy

person-centered therapy

play therapy

positive psychology

prolonged exposure therapy

psychoanalytic therapy

psychodynamic therapyy

psychological testing and evaluation

rational emotive behavior therapy

reality therapy

relational therapy

sandplay therapy

schema therapy

social recovery therapy

solution-focused brief therapy

somatic therapy

strength-based therapy

structural family therapy

the Gottman method

therapeutic intervention

transpersonal therapy

trauma-focused cognitive behavior therapy

#therapy #mental health #generalized anxiety disorder #anxiety disorder #mental health support #agoraphobia #coping #depression help #mental heath support #mentalheathawareness #mental health struggles #burnout #stress #perfectionism

[pneumaticpresence]

terminated therapy this week after 9 months bc I’m moving. hard to summarize but it was a generally positive experience with an Adlerian, psychodynamic psychologist. most professional, sensitive, and insightful therapist I’ve ever had. still left w the feeling that … psychology is a young science and my therapist himself was also maybe too young. I still feel compelled to ask, maybe flippantly, rhetorically: who knows why people do and feel the things they do, and who knows what to do about it? I do not have a clear sense of what was happening between us or what I learned or what it did for me. increased my tolerance for vulnerability, at least, and left me with a clearer sense of self. stopped crying so much. am more able to push through social anxiety in group settings. that’s not nothing

[bredforloyalty]

also she finished her thesis on this since then and got pretty nice clear results saying that people with the same adlerian lifestyle/personality priority as me have the weakest psychological immune systems and are the least satisfied with their lives 🫶

#every friend group got The Avoider #kata.txt

[coretcoretanaja]

The Courage to Be Dislike #1 deny trauma

Ada orang bersikekeh mikir life so hard and people cant change

Why People Can Change : The past actually determines the present and the cause control the effect. If we focus only on past causes and try to explain things solely through cause and effect, we end up with "determinism" (Determinisme adalah keyakinan filosofis bahwa semua peristiwa terjadi sebagai akibat dari adanya beberapa keharusan dan karenanya tak terelakkan.) because what this says is that our present and our future have already been decide by past occurrences and are unalterable. That is Adlerian Psychology, we dont think about past "causes" but rather about present "goals". There are difference between etiology ( the study of causation) and teleology ( the study of purpose of given phenomenom, rather than its cause). As long as we stay in etiology we will not take a single step foward.

Trauma Doesnt Exist : In Adlerian psychology trauma is definitively denied. This was a very new and revolutionary point. Certainly, the Freudian view of trauma is fascinating. Freuds idea is that a person's psychic wounds (trauma) cause his or her present unhappiness. When you treat a person's life as a vast narrative, there is an easily understandable causality and sense of dramatic development that creaters strong impressions and is extremely attractive. But Adler, in denial of the trauma argument, states the following "No experience is in itself cause of our success or failure. We dont suffer from the shock of our experiences- the so called trauma- but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self determining"We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those past experiences. Youre life is not something that someone give you, but something you choose yourself and you are the one who decides how you live.

People Fabricate Anger : under that gentle looking mask you wear, youre terribly nihilistic!

How to live without being controlled by the past : Life isnt just hard. If the past determined everything and couldn't be changed, we who are living today would no longer be able to take effective steps forward in our lives. What would happen as a result ? We would end up with the kind of nihilism and pessimism that loses hope in the world and give up on life. The Freudian etilogy that is typified by the trauma argument is determinism in a different form, and it is the road to nihilism.

Are you okay just what you are : Knowledge just gets piled up as knowledge until sooner or later its discarded. Its okay for you to be you. However im not saying its fine to be "just as you are" if youre unable to really feel happy then its clear that things arent right just as they are. You have got to put one foot in front of other and not stop

Unhappiness is something you choose for yourself : You are unhappy now because yourself chgose being unhappy not because you were born under an unlucky star.

People Always Choose Not to Change : lifestyle is the tendencies of thought and action in life. When we try to change our lifestyles, we put our great courage to the test. There is the anxiety generated by changing, and the disappointment attendant to not changing that you have selected the latter.Adlerian psychology is a psychology of courage. Your unhappiness can not be blame on your past your environment, and it isnot that you lack competence. You just lack courage. One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy

Your Life is decided here and now : no matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live from now on.

[formvsquality]

When I first saw About Schmidt twenty years ago, I worried about being mediocre. I was working in accounting and doing otherwise mediocre things. I have spent the last twenty years fighting against--internally at least--the idea of being mediocre, all the while making decision after decision that inevitably would lead to more mediocrity.

Adlerian psychology says I should accept myself for who I am. That being normal is an act of courage:

Self-acceptance is the vital first step. If you are able to possess the courage to be normal, your way of looking at the world will change dramatically.

What would life look life, over the next twenty years say, if I embraced being normal? How would I even go about doing that?

Well, first off, I probably ought to stop thinking of things in terms of the next twenty years. I realize I wrote it that way to correspond to what I wrote about the last twenty years above. But that’s probably part of the problem. I am living for the future and ignoring the here and now.

So if I would embrace being normal, I would get off the couch right now, make some coffee, do Wordle, send my score to the group chat, listen to some music, do my German lesson on Duolingo, go out for lunch, buy groceries, cook dinner, and go about having a nice little Sunday with my family.

#books #the courage to be disliked #psychology #ichiro kishimi #fumitake koga #alfred adler #normal #be present #about schmidt

[hiyorisarugaki]

Learning about Adlerian Psychology and she’s like. “Why does this guy know so much about me?”

#hiyori working on herself like she's never worked before- -

[businessconsiderations]

Recap of *Stay Sane in an Insane World*

The book--subtitled How to Control the Controllables and Thrive--by University of Michigan sports psychologist, Greg Harden, influencer of Tom Brady, Michael Phelps, Desmond Howard and more

It's short, easy to read, broken up into 37 chapters, interspersed with testimonials from his disciples that reinforce points Harden makes in the chapters.

I read the book in spurts over about a month or so--highlighting and dogearing along the way--stopping to reflect on its key points a few times, sharing its wisdom with my wife and kids a few times.

I then left it on the ottoman for a month or so, knowing I wanted to digitize my notes, summarize its lessons to memorialize it in my brain, but I felt like reading other things. So I did, I read two other books over the next month, but Stay Sane kept staring at me. So over the last few days, I typed up my highlights in my note-taking app and will do my best to summarize here.

A lot of its message feels obvious and trite, but like I've written earlier, I'm not living in this obvious and trite way that would substantially improve my life, which makes me think its message feels deep and profound.

In its penultimate chapter, he lists 7 things to remember, which I list below. I then attempt to pigeonhole my notes into 7 sections based on those 7 things. Most of the remainder of this post are quotes or near-quotes from the book with a few paraphrases thrown in.

Greg's key message is 7 things:

Become an expert on yourself - so you can become the best version of yourself

Control the controllables - it's right there in the subtitle, you are the only person with control on your mind, i.e. your thoughts and feelings...a combination of the "focus on what you can control" conventional wisdom with a little Adlerian psychology mixed in

Practice relentlessly - giving 100% effort, you'll outwork and wear down the average people

Commit to improving your life - make incremental improvements, maintain those incremental improvements, move on to the next one, Albert Camus in theory, James Clear in practice

Stop being afraid - courage is facing your fear

Love and accept yourself - replace your self-defeating attitudes with self-supporting attitudes

Be your own best friend

1. Become an expert on yourself

Resolve your trauma, let go of your baggage, prove it yourself that you did so by i) being able to talk about it without returning to the original emotion state you were in when traumatized, ii) clearly articulating what you did to overcome it, and iii) identify how the experience made you stronger.

Forgive your parents for not being perfect. If not for their sake, then for yours. This is one of the keys to mental health.

Expose your psychic vampires into the light, the things from the past that are holding you back. If you really want to become the person you've dreamed of becoming, you have to destroy your psychic vampires and break their hold on you mind, body and spirit. This will take bravery.

If you believe in yourself it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

2. Control the controllables

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. They can create conditions to make you more likely to feel that way, but they can't force you to feel that way. It's your choice, they can't have power over you unless you give them permission.

You are the only person with control over your own mind.

Tom Brady says focus on the positive and face your challenges with a enthusiasm.

Be assertive, value yourself, communicate with i) confidence, ii) clarity and iii) calmness.

3. Practice relentlessly

Think back to a time you went into an extra gear to accomplish something. Now imagine making that your permanent level of effort. That's what makes a champion.

Give 100% effort, 100% of the time. If you commit to this mindset, on your worst day you'll be better than an average person on their best day.

Tom Brady says obstacles are an advantage, because most people will back down in the face of obstacles. So if you keep a good attitude and push through, the obstacle actually helped you by getting your competitors out of the way.

Desmond Howard says you should always strive to get better at what you do. Never settle for good enough.

Opportunity will knock at some point. Make sure you have put yourself in the position to take advantage.

4. Commit to improving your life

Be humble and hungry to learn. Commit to the process of continuous self-improvement. Believe that you possess that special extra gear.

Your life belongs to you, and it's up to you to make the most if it. No one else can do this for you. Taking responsibility for your own life should be your highest priority.

Tom Brady say if you're not where you want to be in life, it's up to you to make it better. Your positivity and enthusiasm will help you toward your outcome.

5. Stop being afraid

If you believe in yourself, then there's only one way to change, you need to start doing everything different and stop caring about what anyone else thinks. If a coach believes in you, great. If not, don't get distracted by it. What you believe is all that matters.

It's not enough to dream big, you need to believe big.

How fun would it be to shatter everyone's expectations of you?

Desmond Howard says don't just be the best player on the field, be the most dominant. Think and behave that way, separate yourself from the rest.

Tom Brady says once apply a positive and enthusiastic mindset to all areas of your life, fear has nowhere to go.

Create your ideal self. Culture, media and politics is trying to program you, why not program yourself?

Get out of your own way. Those times when you were thinking nothing and having fun, that's when you were having the best games.

The best athletes have a short memory. When you make a mistake, give yourself permission to feel bad about it for a fraction of a second then get back to work. If you are someone that gets down on yourself after a setback, feeling sorry for yourself, how's that working out for you? Unless your objective is to be miserable, then stop beating yourself up, because the answer is it's not working for you.

Once you start to predict your self-doubt and fear, you can manage it.

6. Love and accept yourself

Your sport is not who you are, it's what you do. You will have an amazing life with our without your sport.

You can't let your self-worth be determined by the trappings of this world because those will ultimately fail you.

Ward Emanuel says it's important for young student athletes to understand at some point it could all be taken away from you.

You can't let your sport become a false god, or God will take it from you.

Love being an outlier, accept being one as a challenge, love being the person that broke the stereotype.

7. Be your own best friend

As you make these life changes, don't try to change anyone else. This project is between you and yourself.

You can rely on others for help sometimes, but you ultimately you have to rely on self-love and self-acceptance above all else. You have to be your own best friend.

To be a good teammate, you must believe in yourself first.

Summing it up

At then end of the chapter about psychic vampires, I wrote that mine is mediocrity. That I am mediocre. And if I step outside myself and take a risk, people will roll their eyes at me, I will be exposed as someone who is mediocre and in denial of my own mediocrity.

There was a worksheet in the middle of the book about what success looks like. I wrote some notes down one a separate piece of paper. Below are those notes...

My purpose is family, living long enough to see them thrive as adults, to meet my grandkids, doing interesting things along the way.

Success to me is good relationships with my wife and all three of my kids. After that, health: getting down to a better weight, more running. Then fun: travel, other. Then I wrote money with a colon too, but didn't write anything after the colon.

For measurable goals are wrote weight loss goals, running goals, money goals and family travel goals. I didn't write what those goals were. But I am already working toward a weight loss goal, 13 lb down, 8 more to go. I think it was Naval Ravikant that said the universe is good at giving you one thing, but only one. So maybe I can work on the other goals next, one at a time.

The self-defeating attitudes and behaviors holding me back from reaching my goals are i) I'm not good at networking, ii) making more money will require more/harder work and that's what killed my dad, and iii) life is boring without alcohol and unhealthy food.

Three things I will stop doing were i) drinking while weighing over 175 lb, ii) taking the easy way out at work, and iii) giving attention to things before my family, e.g. phone, computer.

Self-supporting attitudes and behaviors I want to cultivate are: people like me, I can make friends, I am fun not boring, and I can take steps to make more money.

Three things I will start doing, I wrote four: money/budgeting, weight loss/running, work development plan, family stuff. I didn't get specific

I am sort of meandering my way through a lot of that stuff. I could probably tighten a lot of this up and make my life better.

Like I wrote at the top, a lot of this is trite and obvious. The hard part is doing it.

#flexistentialism #stay sane #book recaps

[loveindeeair]

The beef I have with #Adlerian Psychology is that, it rarely touches upon the nuances of life.

In a world where duality is dancing in the grey, dwelling in the philosophies of absolutes, seem unchallenging.

Author - Fumitake Koga @fumiken (X)

#the courage to be disliked #notes #notebook #books #journaling