#adapted from an x slasher post i made

[uglypastels]

Stranger Things Masterlist

R oneshots means requested -  Send Requests/Feedback/Questions here - guidelines

❤ my favs | 💋 SMUT (18+) | ☔ ANGST

Disclaimer: the smut is intended for readers of ages of 18 or older. I do not want to expose anyone to anything that they do not want to be exposed to. 

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SERIES

Not Wholly Evil (dark!pirate!Eddie x reader) summary: as the daughter of the Governor, there is quite a heavy prize set on your safe return home, and the captain will not let anything come between him and his bounty.

Ridlington Park (regency!Eddie x reader) summary: A lady from one of the most fortunate families of the ton is in search of a suitor—much to her own dismay—and so she does everything in her power to ruin her family’s attempts at an engagement. But what happens when the one who truly charms her turns out to be the one person she can never marry?

ONE SHOTS

R Heaven And Hell (Eddie x Reader x Steve) 💋 summary: Steve is getting a bit jealous of how close you are with your best friend and the two only have one way of setting the record straight between you.

Painless Endeavour (tattoo artist!Eddie x Reader) summary: an AU in which, after his first failed attempt to graduate, Eddie drops out of school to follow an apprenticeship at a tattoo parlour. 3 years go by and you stumble into that same studio, unlocking some lost memories.

The Greatest Avendure (Eddie x Reader) summary: Eddie is thinking of what to do after graduation

That's a Strong Word (Eddie x Reader) 💋 summary: dating the undateable could be quite the challenge... so you make it one for both of you.

Moments (Rockstar!Eddie x groupie!Reader) 💋 ❤ summary: Eddie has been taking advantage of the perks that come with having years of success in the business.

Following The Herd (dark!cult!Eddie x Reader) 💋(☔) summary: Eddie Munson has never been anything but sweet and caring to you. He had always made sure you were alright and safe and always helped you with anything you asked for. So now, that he needed you, how could you possibly refuse?

(Im)perfect Day (Eddie x Reader) summary: Eddie can get in his head sometimes, and when that happens... well... the point is, he really really tried.

Twitterpated (modern!Eddie Munson x reader) summary: You keep on encountering the same stranger while waiting in line for the Disneyland rides. It's almost too much of a coincidence, in fact. You find each other in the crowds time after time and eventually, as the day progresses, sneaky glances evolve into more.

Caught Me Slippin' (modern!escort!Eddie x reader) 💋 summary: feeling insecure about your skills in bed, you decide to find someone who could help you learn. Except, when the guy actually shows up, a mistake seems to have occurred. Fortunately, you're both quite adaptable (or, at least, you try to be), and the night quickly takes off into unexpected territories. [extra blurbs based on au, 1☔, 2, 3 ☔, 4, 5...]

Headlights (Eddie)☔ summary: Hawkins has seen it all; communist conspiracies, government cover-ups, fires, pests... but can it deal with a slasher killer on the loose?

Diary of Potential College Dropouts (College!Steddie) summary: Neither of them expects to make it through a full semester, though for different reasons. Is that perhaps why they were given a dorm to share?

The Boy Is Mine summary: [blurb challenge] A romantic night in at the trailer.

EDDIE ask requests

Blurbs

Sub!Eddie 💋

Making New Friends (incl. jealous!boyfriend!steve)

Eddie asks you out for a date

Star Gazing Date

Hell Diver - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6❤ (continued mini series)

Thigh Riding 💋

Post-Gig Sex 💋

Guitar Lessons

Late Night Talking

Shower Sex (goes wrong) 💋

Scars (☔)

Pool Party

Eddie Finds Out About Your Tattoo (Cheer Cap!reader)

Daddy Kink 💋

Not-so-innocent!reader Meets Hellfire

Concert

Eddie Gives You a Reality Check (☔)

Overcoming the Nerves 💋

Wearing His Shirt

Eddie Teaches You to Stand Up Against Bullies

Eddie Punches Your Asshole Boyfriend - 2

Devil!Rockstar!Eddie

Corroded Coffin Origin Stories (ft. the-haiku-bot)

Eddie is Lost for Words

Carrie Stunt

Eddie Comforting You

Voice Kink💋

Librarian!Reader 💋

Bartender!Eddie

Tutorial 💋

Headcanons

Eddie and Your Time of the Month

Crushing on Your Best friend Eddie

Eddie Trying to Make You Feel Better

Twilight AU + other asks: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Random Eddie Headcanons

Eddie's CV

Rockstar!Eddie and DnD

Trucker!Eddie

Spending your Birthday with Eddie

Centerfold Jealousy

STEVE ask requests

Blurbs

First Time 💋

The Corroded Coffin Archive

Corrosion (1989)

Cryptic (1991)

The Game of Lost Souls (1993)

Spotify Playlists

The Un-Eddiest Eddie Songs (songs that give off Eddie vibes, despite beings ones he probably wouldn't listen to out of himself)

Tuesdays @ the Hideout (covers I think Corroded Coffin would play - mostly time accurate + some random ones for fun)

Caught Me Slippin' (Taylor's Version) - the fic as told through Taylor Swift songs

Spotify Wrapped Blurbs

2022

Grapejuice (Robin x reader)

Summer of '69 (Eddie x Reader (☔)

Footloose (Eddie x Reader)

Edge of Seventeen (Eddie x Reader) (☔)

Random Headcanons

Goonies

Random #1

#Stranger Things a Graphic Novel (fanart)

1 (s4e1 - ´86, Baby)

2 (s4e7 - For Your Modesty, Dude)

Phone Backgrounds

Eddie

Joseph Quinn

#stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #fanfiction #fanfic #smut #fluff

[ajokeformur-ray]

A light-hearted but also serious call out post.

Please please please stop telling yourself that your favourite character wouldn't look at you twice, wouldn't like you, wouldn't love you. Because they would. They would. I don't care what your excuses or reasons are, stop it.

Stop saying those things about yourself, even as a joke. Actually, especially as a joke. Shit like that gets in your head - it's hard to feel good about yourself or even okay about yourself if someone is always being mean to you.

I'm willing to listen to myself on this one thing, and so should you.

Let yourself have this one thing, okay? You deserve it.

Your favourite character loves you. Yes, even if they kill everything and everyone. Yes, even if they're awful and deserve what happened to them. Yes, even if they're an irredeemable villain. Yes, even for whatever reason or excuse you're thinking of as you read this.

They. Love. You.

No questions, no hesitations.

Just love, and a great big squishy cuddle for the love of their life.

You.

#self-shipping #self-depreciation is very unsexy and there are so many reasons to stop doing it #adapted from an x slasher post i made

[jademight]

Alright Nerdy’s Shotgun Style Stream of Consciousness Thoughts(tm) on MoM under the cut

Firstly, shoutout to the girl I sat next to in the cinema. I never got to see her face bc of the lights but our elbows touched and we both laughed at the Bruce Campbell post credits scene. We connected. (for this Friends to Lovers arc I need her to be present at the second showing I booked at a different cinema I need that cosmic connection)

Genuinely shocked at how HARD they committed to Evil Milf Wanda. They made her a full on slasher villain and I fucking RESPECT it. (I have no idea how the fuck they’ll walk it back in the future movies but we’ll see. That Children’s Crusade movie rumor seems more likely now)

That moment where she crawled out of the gong like fucking Sadako??? GOOD SHIT. 

Wanda Stans(tm) are going to be fucking INSUFFERABLE though. ‘omg she just wanted to see her kids uwu’ SHE MASS MURDERED INNOCENTS HELEN. SHE SNAPPED AN ELDERLY MAN’S NECK LIKE IT WAS A PRETZEL.

Speaking of, YO HOLY FUCK THEM USING THE X MEN: TAS THEME SONG?!?!?! DOING THE ‘To me, my X-Men!’ MIND WAVES???? Love the touch of putting Charles in his classic black turtleneck and walking when he’s in the Mind Place. 

I SHOCKIGNLY enjoyed Anson Mount’s Black Bolt. Incredible costume adaption, would NOT mind if they retconned him into the MCU post Secret Wars. Dude’s a good actor and brings a certain weight to proceedings. Icb they got me praising Inhumans (not the show) in the year of our lord 2022. 

Oh yeah they are 1000 percent doing 2015 Secret Wars. Get ready to be SICK of hearing the word ‘Incursion’ in the next few years. It’s gonna be the new ‘variant’.

Absolutely convinced they’re gonna use Secret Wars to retcon inhumans and mutants into the history of the MCU once its all said and done. They might fix Kamala yet lmfao. 

Also Krasinski!Reed. Listen, I NEVER liked the fan-casting, they legit just fancast him bc he’s a white dude with hair and a blonde wife. ALL THAT BEING SAID.....I didn’t hate him??? He had a certain Stillness to him that I really dug. Nowhere near enough of a screentime to make any hard calls but seeing a dude in a blue jumpsuit with the number 4 on it does give me an emotion. If he ends up being the Main!Reed....I??? wouldn’t mind it???? Also LOVE the oblique Valeria and Franklin reference uwu. His suit is disgustingly overdesigned though, remove the black parts and its a good suit. 

ALSO THE BRUTALITY???? WANDA POPPED HIS HEAD LIKE A FUCKING BALLOON??? BLACKAGAR BOLTAGON’S HEAD FUCKING CAVED IN?!??!! GOD DAMN THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!

LOVE the depiction of magic and sorcery. It really enriched the language of magic, I loved how Strange could conjure up arms and weapons and stuff. Love his updated costume with the sleeker lines and outline. 

America was fine. Its her intro movie. I know people are upset that she’s not the Strong Willed Badass but MCU LOVES a ‘Hero finds their inner strength and will’ arc so I’m sure she’ll get there. Loved that moment of her doing The Pose.  

Score was pretty good. Everyone is praising the Musical Note Fight and as they should honestly that was a GORGEOUS moment, ADORE the creativity of fights in this. Bummed that they don’t use the Giacchino theme enough but I’m glad it wasn’t entirety discarded. Also bummed about the lack of ‘mystical’ instrumentation, its just classic Elfman orchestra. Do love the main leitmotif that recurs through the movie though.

OK BUT THE RAIMI-ISMS??? They really Raimi get weird with it. The crossfades, the ‘monster cams’, the keyhole fade (is that the word idk). Bruce Campbell full on breaking the 4th wall. Nobody films New York like he does. It’s so warm, so lovely, so full of life. (also special shoutout to that shot of Amerca and Strange going through the portal from the roof to the street in one camera move).

CLEAAAA. GOOD MILF TO RIVAL THE EVIL MILF LETS GOOOO. 

#mom spoilers #doctor strange spoilers #;ooc tag

[travel-hopefully]

A collective post of everything I watched on Netflix in 2020

I finally found the watch history function on Netflix which I wanted in order to reminisce over the TV/film I watched over the last year, including the good and the bad. I’ve included a little round-up of my thoughts for each, as lockdown has got me with plenty of time on my hands. If anyone has watched any of the below feel free to give me a message- happy to discuss anything!

Travelers (season 3) - this was an unforgettable show with some great characters and definitely put me through hell (in a good way), I am a David x Marcy shipper for sure!

IT Crowd (season 4 & 5) - my favourite comedy show ever, and I mean the UK version

Explained (random episodes) - interesting bite-sized episodes on a variety of topics

Sherlock (season 3 & 4) - it kinda went downhill from season 4...and doesn’t help that there is no season 5 in sight

Unforgettable - must be pretty forgettable cause I couldn’t remember watching, a typical revenge plot romp I think

The Mind, Explained - same as for Explained above, except more pyshcological

You (season 2) - binge-worthy! I love to hate Joe Goldberg.

Don’t F**k with Cats - wow, this was disturbing but so gripping.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle - geniunely a good remake and rather amusing

Sex, Explained - as for Explained but a little more intriguing ;)

The Stranger (season 1) - full of suspense and a good binge watch but ultimately full of plot holes with an unsatisfying conclusion

Gavin & Stacey (season 3) - a classic which I only started watching in 2019

Sex Education (all of it) - comedy gold!

Unbelievable (limited series) - very harrowing, an emotional rollercoaster based on a real-life rape case

Atypical (all of it) - light-hearted and fun to binge

The Sinner (season 1) - it was okay... wasn’t spectacular compared to other similar dramas I’ve seen

Love Is Blind (season 1) - cringey but satisfying

In the Shadow of the Moon - I hardly remember this one :)

Dunkirk - a stand-out historical movie

The Stepfather - typical killer stepfather plot but rather enjoyable

The Super - an interesting premise, but not that super

Saw VI - all gore not much plot

Doctor Who (random episodes) - no words needed :D

Louis Theroux and Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends (random episodes) - I love his style of interviewing - what a man!

The Revenant - a lot of... well, not much

Nightcrawler - it was decent, but something was missing which I couldn’t put my finger on

How To Get Away With Murder (seasons 1-5) - probably my biggest new watch of the year, a rollercoaster of suspense, drama and murder, another season to go...

Ocean’s Eleven - fun but cheesey

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare - creepy faces and an interesting ending

Eli - it started one way then went another, I wasn’t convinced

Star Trek (2009) - I couldn’t really get into this one...

In the Tall Grass - a lot of running around in grass

Bloodride (season 1) - i loved this, a quirky idea, i binged it

Apostle - intense, a satisfying religious cult horror

The Platform - great idea, not sure on the ending

What Keeps You Alive - what happened in this one again?

History 101 - didn’t watch many episodes :P

The Prodigy - a decent child possession horror

Into the Night (season 1) - really enjoyed this, a highlight of the year for me, hoping for a season 2

It - pretty chilling and creepy, but a tad cheesey

Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - the first one has a brilliant dinosaur fight scene, the second one has too many plot holes and inconsistencies to take seriously

Knowing - a Nicholas Cage sci-fi/apocalpytic classic, pretty decent

Stranger Things (random episodes) - i tried to get my bf into the show but sadly he still isn’t much of a TV fan

Miranda (random episodes) - such fun!

Black Mirror (seasons 1 & 2) - another one i introduced the bf to, i got a bit further with him on this one, the very first episode being the highlight

The Last House on the Left - a decent remake, but nothing outstanding

Dark (season 3) - this, my friends, is one of the greatest shows of all time. want a timey-wimey story where everything is connected and has an amazingly satisfying conclusion? this is the show for you!

The Silence - a bad ‘A Quiet Place’

Geostorm - i’m a fan of disaster movies but this one wasn’t in the same league as some of the greats

Panic Room - a mum and kid hides in the panic room when a group of thugs break into the house, it was enjoyable but not all that memorable

Prisoners - a very long film with some enjoyable parts but overall unsatisfying

Girl on the Third Floor - it was okay, i can’t remember much of it

The Woods (season 1) - another Harlan Coben adaptation- not as good as ‘Safe’ or ‘The Stranger’ but still a gripping thriller

Time Trap - a fun time-travel film with some interesting turns of events

72 Dangerous/Cutest Animals (random episodes) - just ‘cause i love animals

Slasher (all of it) - some very gory deaths, especially in season 3. quite disturbing but keeps the suspense up throughout.

2012 - a guilty pleasure of mine, realistic or not

Kingsman: The Secret Service - a fun spy film, will be looking to watch the second one soon

Blackfish - this was harrowing, it really made me think, but overall i’m on the side of tilikum

Unsolved Mysteries (season 1 & 2) - watching some of these my jaw dropped, love theorising on this kind of stuff

Down to Earth with Zac Efron (season 1) - Zac is great in this, he seems so chill and literally ‘down to earth’

The Call - I love this film, seen it 3 times now

Contagion - very relatable right now, interesting to see the parallels with todays situation

Next in Fashion (season 1) - i didn’t get too far with this, i found it a little superficial

Searching - another of those internet web-cam based films. decent but not memorable.

Non-stop - another Nicholas Cage classic, this time a suspense thriller

Freaks - as the title suggests this one was rather weird, i didn’t quite gel with it

The Perfection - wow, that was an experience. definitely memorable, even if some characters make questionable decisions...

Extraction - not usually a fan of action-type thrillers, but i actually enjoyed this one, plus it has Chris Hemsworth in it!

Line of Duty (season 2) - full of suspense, a great build-up in the first 5 episodes, but the way they tied it up really grated on me 

Insidious - watched this one with my sister. a genuinely good horror film on rewatch with an amazing cliff-hanger

A Quiet Place - another one watched with my sister. labelled a horror but its more sci-fi, either way its a classic. bring on the second film!

The Dark Tower - disappointing mostly.

Gladiator - i’d never seen this before and now i understand the hype- what an epic movie!

Criminal UK (season 2) - didn’t disappoint following the exceptional first season

Venom - a fun comedic marvel film, definitely need to watch more from Marvel in the next year- i need an order to watch them in as don’t know where to start

Our Planet (season 1) - chill David Attenborough to put on in the background

The Equalizer - a great action revenge thriller plot with a badass Denzel

Merlin (random episodes) - who doesn’t love a trip down memory lane with some nostalgic bbc merlin?

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) - pretty scary remake

The Witcher (season 1) - rewatched in order to familiarise myself again before season 2 - i didn’t realise how funny the show was until this time round, gotta love Jaskier!

American Murder: The Family Next Door - this was haunting

The Haunting of Bly Manor - phenomenal, emotional, creepy, heartbreaking - i much preferred it to Hill House

Abducted in Plain Sight - seriously, how naive are the parents in this? i could have a rant for hours about this!

The End of the F***ing World (seasons 1 & 2) - very bingeable, Alyssa makes me laugh too much, i love how relatable the show is

Fractured - didn’t expect much from this consipiracy-type film but it kept me guessing right till the end

The Ripper (limited series) - very intriguing, but the mysogyny in this was shocking

Inconceivable - a typical mother looking for her baby revenge plot but still entertaining

The Midnight Sky - i’d heard rave reviews for this but was disappointed by a lacklustre plot which was sacrificed for award-winning cinematography

Killer Women with Piers Morgan (season 2) - a pyschological interview series which looks into the mind of murderers, rather interesting

May the Devil Take You - scarier and jumpier than i thought it would be!

So 2020 obviously gave me a lot of time to watch a s**t load of stuff and looking back at it i feel like i got a decent amount of my watch-list ticked off! And obviously this is not including shows watched on other media so there’s that too (a special shout-out to the William Hartnell era of Doctor Who which I watched this year on BritBox). In all, 2020 has definitely introduced me to a few new fandoms and progressed my love for others. 

#personal #mine #netflix #watchlist #potential spoilers #spoilers #travelers #it crowd #sherlock #unforgettable #you #jumanji #gavin and stacey #atypical #saw #doctor who #the revenant #louis theroux #how to get away with murder #star trek #bloodride #apostle #oceans eleven #the platform #it #jurassic world #miranda #black mirror #dark #slasher

[chey1x1]

i’ve decided to do a 1x1 search for potential partners!

the shortlist of it is that i’d like to only play f/f ships; i prefer using original characters, and i would like my partner to be over 18 (not for any smutty reasons; i’m 22 and i want to rp with people of similar maturity level.)

fun stuff under the cut! 

first: i don’t have any pre-made characters, but would prefer to start fresh with each rp and each new partner. that said, i don’t mind if you use a well-loved muse of your own. if you have preferences for FCs to play opposite, i’ll take them into consideration, but no promises!

some plots have suggested personality traits for different characters; feel free to take these and run with them, or adjust accordingly.

preference scale: * - i want; ** - i really want; *** - i’ll marry you if you play this with me, seriously. 

*** gothic romance (historical period): character a arrives, for some reason (perhaps for work, at the request of a family member, etc,) at an old manor, only to find that the place has an eerie air to it. floorboards squeak, windows fling themselves open, and she swears she can hear footsteps and voices coming from empty rooms. she has a feeling that character b, a young heiress and lady of the house, knows more than she lets on. character a is youthful, brave, bright, stubborn, and perhaps somewhat naive; character b is quiet and reserved, somewhat austere, lonely, and brooding yet gentle. the two women find themselves drawn to one another and together will grapple with a deep secret and a family mystery. (plot specifics aren’t filled in; i would love to have someone plot it out with me! i would prefer to play character b, but could be willing to change my mind!)

** f/f take on robin hood: characters can be character a as robin hood and character b as maid marian, or can shake it up and have character b as a knight/bounty hunter/etc. this one could have great opportunity for comedy of mistaken identities (ie, marian not realizing character a and robin hood are the same person; character a/robin hood not realizing that the girl she has taken a shine to is actually a bounty hunter out to get her, etc.) as well as some angst later on.

** fantasy: of any sort; i’m a huge fantasy fan; let’s plot something together! high fantasy centered on a relationship between two women, but with other plot elements. so many possibilities; queen x queen, queen x knight, knight x knight, rogue x thief, etc. also open to fairytale adaptations & modern/urban fantasy.

slasher parody: something that, along the lines of scream squeens + slasher films, parody the conventions of the horror genre. characters a and b are the last two girls left standing when a night of college shenanigans turns into a terrifying nightmare. i’d like the tone of this one to blend some humor with some drama-- it is, after all, a parody. no character specifications; i was thinking perhaps characters could be opposites, but who knows. (tw blood/violence, probably. not a huge gore fan myself, but.... it is slasher genre.)

* science fiction: i am a huge fan of sci-fi, but be warned - it’s probably going to be ‘soft scifi’ and i will probably definitely fudge some scientific concepts. concepts include: good ol’ space opera, with characters gallivanting off through space; something testing the limits of artificial intelligence, alien life, etc.

apocalypse/post-apocalypse: two characters trying to navigate survival during or after the end of the world. please no zombie apocalypse stories. 

honestly if you come to me with any concept and you go “okay this...... but with TWO GIRLS,” I’ll probably love it. 

#1x1 #rp search #1x1 rp #wlw rp #1x1 search #plots #wishlist

[notoriousgrd]

Shocktober Days 1-28

Ok, it’s Sunday and I’m not at the folks’ as usual because my brother’s working today, so taking the time to update my Shocktober log post. This is a long one so fasten your seatbelts,

The Devil Rides Out (1968) - been meaning to watch this for over twenty years, finally did and loved it. Christopher Lee and Charles Gray are excellent and I can see how the whole chalk circle bit influenced me at of Doctor Who:Battlefield.

Hotel Transylvania (2012) - I’d planned on another movie but with real world being so horrific that day, changed plans and watched this really fun animated movie.

Dr. Terror’s House Of Horrors (1965) - not the first portmanteau movie I ever saw (that’d be Twilight Zone:The Movie) but the first Amicus one and definitely my favourite. Cushing and Lee, DJ Alan “Fluff” Freeman Vs plants, Roy Castle and his voodoo trumpet, Michael Gough and Donald Sutherland as a doctor. Cushing and Castleford reunite later that year for a certain movie involving Daleks.

Quatermass And The Pit (1967) - last Quatermass I saw, having seen all the television versions and other movies over the years. Much like the Doctor Who/Daleks movies nicely compresses three hours of black and white telly into an hour-and-a-half of glorious colour. I hadn’t seen this when I saw Doctor Who:The Daemons so the parallels were not apparent to me. Andrew Kier is an excellent Quatermass, just behind John Mills in the 1979 telly story.

Christine (1983) - I hadn’t seen this in a long, long time, enough that I completely forgot Harry Dean Stanton and Robert Prosky were in it. Been even longer since I read the book, so can’t say if it’s a good adaptation, certainly a good movie though, the non-cgi car repairing effects still look awesome.

Deep Red / Profondo Rosso (1975) - the only Dario Argento movie I’ve seen and decided to rewatch after Mr Ash mentioned it. Looks lovely, an awesome soundtrack,

Deep Star Six (1989) - One of a few horror films rushed ahead to try and cash in on all the hype for James Cameron’s The Abyss. This one sees many of the people behind Friday The 13th doing an underwater m onter movie. It’s daft fun, I like the monster and it’s got one of my favourite actors, Miguel Ferrer in it.

Ghosts Of Mars.(2001) - One of the three John Carpenter movies I’d not seen, seems to get a lot of stick, but again, a fun action horror movie, with a really good cast (Natasha Henstridge, Pam Grier and Jason Statham) and a nice way of telling the story.

AvP:Requiem (2007) - we were kind of on a trash train for a bit, as this is another movie decried as the worst thing ever when it’s a perferctly competent horror movie with some really nice deaths and a nice basic concept. Take eighties slasher movie environment, add alien death machines.

Life (2017) = This was really, really good. a relatively realistic sci-fi horror that starts off a bit Andromeda Strain but end up Alien. Another great cast, and kudos for a certain point for having a disabled character who’s treated the same as any other crew member right until the moment they fall into the tired trap of his disability leading to his death. Other than that though, really enjoyed this, some really nasty deaths and nothing really set off my “SPace doesn’t work like that!” sense.

Leviathan (1989) = The other movie trying to cash in on The Abyss hype. Another good, fun underwater monster movie with a great cast (Peter Weller, Amanda Pays, Daniel Stern, Richard Crenna, Ernie Husson, Meg Foster), a great Jerry Goldsmith soundtrack and some nice effects work.

The Rezort (2016) - recommended to me by Mr Ash of the Hammered Horror podcast, low budget zombie movie with a great premise, that being that they got the zombie plague under control and have actually set up an island where people can pay to go and shoot zombies on a kind of undead safari. This is also used to try to help people who were traumatised by the zombie event. Of course, this being a horror movie, things rapidly go sideways. Barring a couple of moments, the small budget doesn’t show and the premise is a nice change from most zombie movies.

Waxwork (1988) - I’d seen the sequel to this years ago, when in 1994, my then local Blockbuster was having a massive sell-off of ex-rental tapes wuth no covers for a couple of quid each. Me and my flatmate at the time bought a pile of them, probably fifty tapes between us and this was one of them, a very silly hoor movie with a premise that lets them do little horror vignettes as part of a bigger story. This does that too, it’s another fun romp, with some lovely distinguisdhed actors (David warner, Patrick Macnee and John Rhys Davis) havnig fun with the material.

Friday The 13th Part IX:Jason Goes To Hell (1993) - I’d made my way through the first eight movies a while back, but as always got distracted and forgot to go back and finish off. So with it actually being Friday The 13th, I decided that day to fix that. This is…not great. Jason is killed and becomes a body surfing demon. Really only notable things are Kane Hodder;s wee cameo as an FBI agent, the Book Of The Dead form Evil Dead being being found in the Vorhees house (and thus being what brough Jason back from the dead at some point) and Erin Grey.

Friday The 13th Part X:Jason X (2001) = This one however, is a huge amount of fun, Jason is captured and the plan is to put him in cryogenic status to stop him from killing again as it’s obvious at this point, he can’t actuaslly be killed. Of course, things go sideways and him and the doctor responsible for freezing him are found hundreds of years later when Earth’s a wastland and taken back to a spaceship. Yes, this is Jason Goes To Space and takes a lot of cues form other sci-fi things, space marines, holodecks, evil corporations etc and uses them to make a fun action horror romp that never takes itself too seriously.

Mr Vampire (1985) - One of my all time favourites. Saw it in the mid-nineties when Channel 4 had a seasib if Hong Kong action movies, many with a spooky side to them. This movie introduced me to the Jiangshi, Chinese hopping vampires and this movie is a fun, action comedy with plenty f great action scenes, slapstick and scares.

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage (1970) - As mentioned above, I’d only ever sene the one Dario Argento movie, so decided to fix that. His directorial debut is a mirder thriller where the main character witnesses an attempted murder and soon finds himself in danger with plenty of twists and turns along the way. Great stuff.

Until Dawn (2015) - this is a game for PS4 rather than a movie and with the length it could easily count as between four to six horror movies. It’s an interactive adventure game with excellent motion captured performances, a great plot, great setpieces and with the choices you can make, anywhere between everyone and no-one can survive. I made it out with only two deaths and I know how those can be avoided. One of the best horror games I’ve ever played and highly recommended. Virtual Peter Stormare in particular veeres into the uncanny valley on several occasions. Great stuff.

The Raven (1935) - on the title cazrd it says “suggested by” Poe’s poem, but all that amounts ot is the name and a character who’s a bit Poe obsessed with nods to a couple of his other works in there. Has Lugosi and Karloff, is okay as these things go.

The Car (1978) - was surprised to find most review sites think this is a load of bollocks. I enjoyed it as a kid and still enjoy it now. It’s basically Jaws with a car that appears to be possessed by the devil. Been so long since I saw it, forgot James Brolin and Ronny Cox were in it. there’s some nice direction at points and it’s definitely not as bad as its reputation would have you think.

The Raven (1963) - Another part of my plan is to watch the ROger Corman Poe adaptations, I picked this first because it has the trio of Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and boris Karloff in it and the last movie I watched with them all was Comedy Of terrors which was a blast. I could happily watch Price and Lorre mucking about for hours, the first half-hour is mostly the two of them sparking off each other. It’s a tale of warring wizards, everyone looks like they’re having so much fun and I had a grin on my face throughout. Lovely and highly recommended.  Also has a young Jack Nicholson in it.

The Fall Of The House Of Usher (1960) - Corman, Price and Poe again, a far more sombre affair but again really good. Vincent Price is one of those actors I can watch in anything.

Suspiria (1977) - Back to Argento with weird goings on in a prestigious ballet school. The plot is not really important, you watch Argento mivues for the visuals and amazing soundtracks. Really enjoyed it.

Phenomena (1985) - Argento once more, with Donald Pleasance (with a lovely Scottish accent), JJennifer Conolly in her movie debut and a chimp with a razor. The usual sumptuous visuals, great soundtrack (with Iron Maiden and Motorhead showing up at points) and the usual twisted plot. Had one of those rare monets I really go “Ooooh!” and curl up a bit when someone gets stabbed in the hand with scissors.

The World’s End (2013) - probabl;y the worst of the Cornetto Trilogy (Shaun Of THe Dead and Hot Fuzz being thew others) but still a brilliant movie. It starts off as a middle aged man trying to recapture his youth by getting his childhood friends to finish a pub crawl they never managed as teens, then turns into Incasion Of The Body Snatchers/ Great all-star cast and two of my favourite fight scenes in horror movies, the one in the gents toilets because of the wrestling moves and thew one in the pub a combination of Nick Frost (I love big lads kicking arse) and the remix of Silver Bullet’s Twenty Seconds To Comply backing it.

Attack The Block (2011) - I had difficulty with this first itme I watched it, I live on a council estate and the main characters weere a bit too true to life for me to begin with. This time though, no problem. Premise is a load of big gorilla wolf motherfuckers crash land in a council estate in London and a bunch of ASBO kids and a nurse take them on. It’s notable for having John Boyega and Jodie Whittaker who would both go onto much bigger sci-fi things with Star Wars and Doctor Who. It looks great, sounds great, the creature design is unique and this time round I spotted little references like the tower block being Wyndham Towers and it being near a Ballard Street.

#halloween #shocktober #horror #movies

[cookinguptales]

okay, so late ‘90s, early ‘00s badfic 101

A lot of fic was either on fanfiction.net or private archives. People would also post things to fic communities or private journals on LJ. (Which was a whole...thing, with some people friends-locking their work because they were afraid of sporking/flames or they were just pretentious.) ff.net had a whole HOST of problems, like a variety of terrible ways your formatting could get borked (like you couldn’t use repeating characters, which made line breaks hard; that’s why you’d get increasingly “arty” line breaks that could be...cringey), policies against allowing any fic of media created by people who didn’t like fic (see: Anne McCaffery, Anne Rice, other crazy Annes, etc.), puritan anti-smut policies which often got applied to slash fic more than het fic, and just...in general, terrible fic. Private archives were often manually curated by their owners, which could be fine or it could lead to cliques and circlejerks. The Harry Potter archives seemed to get especially crazy with this and some truly epic wanks came out of that. You’d also see people hosting fic on their own sites (usually angelfire or something) with big slash warnings and IF YOU’RE UNDER 18 GET OUT warnings. A lot of fic archives wouldn’t host slash or porn, and you were liable to get in trouble in fandom or otherwise if you didn’t strongly label LGBT/18+ themes. Especially if the fic in question contained both. Like. I don’t like the OTW for many reasons, but I have to admit that AO3 is basically a godsend. We lost a lot of fic to purged LJs/deleted websites.

SUPER purple prose. Older fic in general tended to be a bit more “literary” and purple and it sometimes read like J.R.R. Tolkein was having a stroke. By the time the ‘90s/’00s rolled around, you’d just get this sort of halfway point where people would have generally unornamented text except for things being thrown in like this character’s cerulean/azure/periwinkle eyes. The shade would change by scene, and you’d always know because there’d be a lot of stuff like “the cerulean-eyed man shook his head”. EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS SCENE KNOWS HIS NAME, USE HIS NAME. Or they’d refer to a character’s glimmering green orbs or something. It was painful.

In anime fandom especially, you’d get a lot of these epithets that referred to their abnormal hair colors. People saw “brunette” and were like “shit, I can adapt that” so you get ravenette and bluenette and silverette and pinkette and kill me now. Some people got pissy about like -et/-ette endings re: gender, but after you’ve gone to the bluenette place, it doesn’t even fucking matter anymore. Grammar is dead.

Anime fic also tended to have a lot of so-called “fangirl Japanese”. Writers would just sprinkle in any Japanese words they knew for no goddamn reason, which would usually end in glossaries at the end like *kakkoi means cool! *aoi means blue! and goddamn guys, these are all words than have legit English translations.

Script fic. Just... script fic. More on that at the bottom bc I had to use some special formatting.

“Crack” fic. This would be fic that was purposefully OOC (out of character) for comedic effect. Tended to utilize “omg so random!!” humor. It usually was pretty much only comedic to caffeinated 13-year-olds. This was literally all Invader Zim’s fault and you know I’m right.

The “disposal” of female love interests in slash fic. Used to be much more of a problem than it is now. Now, I’m not talking about fics that just don’t talk about female characters or retcon a relationship or are like “they broke up!!! moving on!” I’m talking about fics that turn all female characters into shrieking homophobic harpies that would probably rather their canon love interests be dead than fuck a dude. This was applied even to like the nicest characters in the world, or even to characters who weren’t in canon romances with the male characters but were deemed to be threats. They often got smacked around or died or whatever. Things were a lot more sexist in fandom back then. There was a yenta trope that kind of arose as backlash to this but was really just as annoying in a different way. That usually involved a canon love interest going full yaoi fangirl (for some reason) and shipping her love interest with another guy, then involving herself in their love lives to a truly creepy extent so she could hook her boyfriend up with another guy. These were also sexist. Both situations tended to make the female characters incredibly OOC and prevented them from having any real human reactions/emotions.

Mary Sues. Now, the term has lost a lot of its effect in recent years. Mary Sues (or Gary Stus) used to have a really specific meaning. They were OCs (original characters) that were the prettiest, smartest, most powerful, popular characters in the whole world that had glittering orbs for eyes and usually had some kind of special magical power that made them better than all the canon characters. These were self-insert characters -- in other words, even if they didn’t have the same name as the author, they were wish-fulfillment characters wherein the character was used as a stand-in for the author, who could then write all the canon characters loving them. Now people just use the term for any female character that’s powerful and central to the plot, so...it’s not a useful word anymore. As for the old school Sues, well... I don’t necessarily think they were bad, but I will say it’s a hell of a lot more fun to write a Suefic than to read one. That really goes for most fanfics with OCs that have been elevated to a prominent status. People generally read fanfic because they want to read about the canon characters they love, not shallowly-written OCs that take over the fic. I don’t think OC-driven fic is bad to write... But again, yeah, it’s usually much more fun to write than to read. I think it’s helpful to be cognizant of that.

Reviewer participation fic. Mostly an issue on ff.net. It used to be that there was no way to reply to comments on ff.net, and as I’ve said before, there was a strong comment culture back then. Just not replying to reviews could be interpreted as very rude. (It would be unfathomably rude on LJ, which was more community-driven.) So to get around this, people would include a section to reply to reviewers at the beginning of the next chapter or their next one-shot or whatever. So you’d get long interminably long fics on ff.net with like 40 chapters in which nothing happened, and to get ideas, they’d ask reviewers. Worse, sometimes people would try to incentivize readers to review by offering to put their loyal reviewers in the fic. So you’d have this long section at the top of the chapter which might have a conversation that’s been going on between them and a reviewer for the past 8 chapters (and hell, they might’ve made a new chapter just to reply to them) except multiplied by however many reviewers there are, and then the reviewers worm their way into the fics, too! Oh my god.

Passive-aggressive fic. This was especially an issue on LJ as a personal response, but would show up on ff.net as response to wider fandom tropes. These would be fics where a character is like “WOW I WOULD NEVER DO X, THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING I’D NEVER EVEN CONSIDER DOING. WHAT KIND OF IDIOT WOULD THINK I’D DO THAT?” And X is usually (a.) something a reviewer told them would be more IC than what was in their previous fic, (b.) something another writer just put in their fic, or (c.) a ship they don’t like. (This would also extend to fics where characters would be like I’M NOT GAY, I’D NEVER FUCK A DUDE, EWWW!! as anti-slasher rhetoric.) Back then, you could reasonably expect that people in your fandom would at least see, if not read, your new fic. On LJ, you saw basically all the fics because they were posted in wider communities, and fandom was, as a whole, more community-driven back then. If you insulted another member of the community via fic, they’d know in about ten minutes. It was throwing down a gauntlet. lol

The crack fic genre also extended to crack pairings. It wasn’t unusual for people to dare each other to write weird pairings (often characters who’d never met), the more bizarre the better. This was the era of Hogwarts/Lake Squid. These fics were often sporked, but in a more delighted way than usual. There really was more of a sense that people could and would write anything. Some people came to actually ship these pairings like legit and ship wars would ensue. And sometimes some cracky pairings just became really popular for assorted reasons and that made other fans really mad. This still happens, honestly.

Ship wars now are often dressed up in social justice terms, which is a trend that I find frustrating bc I feel like it denigrates important issues. Ship wars in the ‘90s/’00s, on the other hand, were just balls to the wall insane. I still refuse to engage in ship wars because damn, man, the shit I’ve seen. People were much more open about the fact that they hated people who shipped other pairings because they just shipped something else or were squicked by the pairing or whatever. The Harry Potter shipwars got particularly fucking weird. So it wasn’t generally a slash vs. het thing, like some people will have you think. Some of the worst ship wars I have ever seen were het shippers at war. Never again the harmonian times.

Frankly a lot of other things that my mind is rebelling against remembering.

Script fic (often with author interludes) was eventually banned from FF.net, which kind of killed it in fic because that was the main posting venue back then (unless you wrote slash or porn, which could be taken off if people reported it; technically slash wasn’t against the rules unless it was explicit, but they didn’t often check the reports carefully). What I mean by script fic is like

Karamatsu: wow I sure like these sparkly pants Chibita: I don’t (A/N: I do!!!!111 I have a pair like them at home!) Karamatsu: let’s fuck now Chibita: but offscreen because we want to preserve our soft M rating!

The A/Ns (author’s notes) could get really in-depth sometimes, with an author often RPing the characters OOC or using them as their “muses”. So sometimes you’d get a mess like

Karamatsu: gosh it sure does suck that everyone treats me like dog shit Chibita: true (A/N: serenaxkittyx755: That’s not true, Karaboy! Choromatsu: Yeah, we like you less than dog shit. Ichimatsu: Way less.)

Except my example was honestly more IC than most of these tended to be. You’d often get “muses” saying “ewww” or “that’s hot” during romance scenes, even when this made no sense whatsover. Or offering commentary on some random non-karamatsu character’s fashion choices or something. Purposeful “crack” was considered not just okay but in fact desirable back then.

basically, badfic was hell.

#replies #file all this under shit I don't miss

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

Demented Discs: Physical Horror Releases for February

I work in a bookstore. Therefore, my mortgage, groceries, and crippling addiction to vintage Vanilla Ice merchandise all depend on the sale of physical media. Thankfully for me (and for the guy on eBay selling me the 35mm print of Cool as Ice), physical media has turned the corner and has begun to outsell digital media for the first time this decade. People have finally realized that the greatest quality a human can possess is the ability to light up the stage and wax a chump like a candle. Coming in a close second is the will to read Demented Discs and collect horror films on physical media!

We are your one-stop shop for all of the best horror home releases for the upcoming month. February may be the shortest month of the year, but that doesn’t mean that it is devoid of great home horror releases! These next 28 days are jam-packed with incredible offerings, from some of the all-time greats to highly anticipated new films. So, without further ado, here is your shopping list for the month of February:

February 2nd

Tragedy Girls

This dark horror-comedy took the Toronto After Dark by storm and has been on the minds of horror fans ever since. The film stars Alexandra Shipp (X-Men: Apocalypse) and Brianna Hildebrand (Deadpool, The Exorcist) as true-crime bloggers that will stop at nothing to become internet famous. What does a true-crime blogger do in a town that doesn’t see much actual crime? Why, you murder and maim, that’s what! This black comedy should be on any horror fan’s list of must-watch films for the month. We have covered this film pretty extensively here at Nightmare on Film Street, so check out Jon’s review of the film HERE and our exclusive interview with the director, Tyler MacIntyre, HERE.

February 6th

Victor Crowley

Adam Green’s horrific swamp creation is back and better than ever! Filmed in secret and first shown at FrightFest, this sequel is set ten years after the events of Hatchet. All horror fans needs to support this film as it is an homage to the physical effects, blood, guts and gore that made us fall in love with the slasher sub-genre in the first place. Victor Crowley will be available on both Blu-Ray and DVD and it is one horror sequel that you need to check out.

Day of the Dead: Bloodline

What do you do when you remake a classic film to overwhelmingly negative reviews? If you’re director Hèctor Hernández Vicens and writers Mark Tonderai and Lars Jacobson, you remake the remake ten years later in an attempt to garner even worse reviews. Obviously they wanted to make a faithful adaptation of the George A. Romero classic, but it looks like they missed that mark. What this film does look like, however, is a gory bloodbath that could have probably stood on its own without the DOTD title. Rent this film and give it a chance, without any preconceived notions about it being a remake.

February 13th

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage

Arrow Films is at it again with yet another beautiful release of a classic horror film. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage was the directorial debut of Dario Argento, who also happened to write the film. It follows an American named Sam (Tony Musante) who witnesses an attempted murder and stays behind to help the police investigate the crime. He then begins to be stalked by a serial killer, out to silence him for good. This debut has all of the beautiful Italians, long knives and bright red blood that we have come to expect in an Argento film. This is a definite must-own for all fans of giallo film.

Night of the Living Dead- Criterion

We all know the story behind George A. Romero’s classic film and how it made its way into the public domain. Because of this status, we all have two or three copies of the film that are either colorized, dubbed or (for some stupid reason) include added scenes not shot by Romero and company. What we have always needed is one version of the film to rule all the rest. Thanks to the masters at Criterion, we finally do. This Blu-Ray edition includes the never-before-seen work print edit of the film, which they called Night of Anubis. It will also include a 4k digital restoration of the film, 16mm dailies and interviews with Guillermo del Toro, Frank Darabont and Robert Rodriguez. I hope they created a lot of copies of this one, because every single horror fan in the world needs to own this special edition.

The Silence of the Lambs- Criterion

Criterion is killing my ability to buy multiple copies of Ninja Rap on vinyl this month. Here they are, releasing yet another all-time great horror film with a beautiful 4k digital restoration. This Blu-Ray of The Silence of the Lambs will also feature thirty-eight minutes of deleted scenes, four documentaries with interviews from Jonathan Demme and the cast, and an audio commentary from 1994 featuring Demme, Anthony Hopkins, Jodie Foster and real-life FBI agent John Douglas. Again, this is a must-have for not only horror fans, but fans of film in general.

Friday the 13th: The Ultimate Collection

It’s been five years since we’ve had the opportunity to get our hands on Blu-Ray copies of these films. That box set has gone out of print, so we have had to purchase each film in the classic Friday the 13th series individually to get them in HD. Thanks to Diabolik, we now have the opportunity to pick up the first 8 films in the series (It all has to do with licensing, ladies and gents, so nothing post-Manhattan) all on glorious Blu-Ray. These films will include most of the awesome special features included in the other versions, like behind-the-scenes footage and commentary tracks. Don’t let the terrible box art fool you, this is a set that you must pick up!

Hellraiser: Judgement

With there already being a ton of really bad sequels in the Hellraiser series, where else could Lionsgate and Dimension go but up? It looks like this installment, Hellraiser: Judgement, borrowed heavily from the Saw franchise and tried to turn this into a mystery of sorts. It looks like one of the better sequels in the franchise, and it doesn’t have Dad-Bod Pinhead, which is a plus!

Also:

Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)- The third installment to the Chainsaw franchise was a tough sell to audiences and critics alike in the early 90’s. Give this one another try with a beautiful Blu-Ray upgrade.

February 20th

Mom and Dad

I seriously doubt that, after February 13th, any of us will have any disposable income left. If you do, however, give me some of it so I can go pick up a copy of Mom and Dad starring Nicolas Cage and Selma Blair. This black comedy currently has a 74% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and it has horror fans across the world buzzing. The only way to describe it is for you to watch the trailer. So, check that out above then go pick up your copy of Mom and Dad on the 20th.

The Night Walker

William Castle is the greatest showman that has ever lived (apologies to Hugh Jackman and the elephant torturer he portrayed). Castle could take the simplest of premises and turned them into must-see events for the entire community. The Night Walker, starring Robert Taylor and Barbara Stanwyck, is about a woman who is haunted by recurring nightmares, which seem to be instigated by her late husband who supposedly was killed in a fire. As Mr. Castle says in the trailer, “Nightmares can kill you!” (Just ask Freddy!)

Also:

Scalpel (1977)- HE LOST THE FACE OF THE WOMAN HE LOVED… SO HE GAVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE. What else do you need to know?

February 27th

78/52

Guillermo del Toro. Peter Bogdanovich. Eli Roth. Danny Elfman. Jamie Lee Curtis. Bret Easton Ellis. That is an All-Star Team of horror creators and fans, all analyzing and discussing one of the most famous scenes in horror history. This documentary takes you through the 78 shots and 52 cuts made in the shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho. Not only does it examine the technical genius it took to make that scene work in that day and age, but it also will take a look at the historical impact that scene had on cinema. Where would movies be without that film and that scene? Check out this amazing documentary from IFC Midnight and find out.

So, there you have it! These are the top physical-media releases for the month of January. Join our official Facebook Group today and let us know when you pick up these amazing titles. Also, be sure to keep an eye on Nightmare on Film Street for next month’s list of titles.

  The post Demented Discs: Physical Horror Releases for February appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street.

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