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sandradoodles · 2 years

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Hi! i just started reading your confessions comic and i am OBSESSED!! and i didnt want to spam you by rbing all of your posts so i am going to write my Thoughts here :3

First of all i just wanted to say how much youve improved over the course of making this comic!! the lineart is so much Smoother and neater, the shading is so PRETTY, i love how youve done the backgrounds, whether you actually draw them or put flowers or something else behind the characters, and the layout looks so much more proffesional and puts the focus on the right things!! ALSO your anatomy has improved sm and i love all the wild expressions!!

Also i LOVE the teal colouring with pink accents, its such a pretty combo and its kinda like your trademark now!!

And obviously the whole story is so GOOD. i love how you cranked up the Idiot Meter to 1000000 bc YEAH theyre IDIOTS!! I loved the whole Clownbug part with ladybug discovering chats in love with marinette and being ANGRY abt it, its one of my favourite flavours of love square, and pt 6 of the comic was also SO entertaining!! miscommunication my beloved <3

I also love the first panel of pt nine, its just so pretty!! and ofc the shenanigans with the design contest, it feels v realistic and you absolutely NAILED mari's character!!

And the bee miraculous akuma is GORGEOUS!! it looks v menacing but also rlly cool and i would KILL to see the full design

i also love the way you showed marinettes progress with the jacket!! the montage of them bonding and working on the jacket is so cool <3 (and the shoulder gag is rlly funny lksdjhghjkgfdkjh)

FINALLY the jacket itself is just. BEAUTIFUL. the design on the back is absolutely stunning, and i love how you incorporated the miracle box and roses (did mari draw inspiration from chat? 👀👀) and the pink inside is so cute!! and the paw mark w marinette's signature!! (also i see you have a weakness for bomber jackets and you are RIGHT they ARE the pinnacle of fashion)

and buttercup reveal my beloved!! the blush!! the awkwardness!! the wild expressions and gestures!! i LOVE IT!!

also, i love all the small details!! like how you shaded marinettes palms as hearts, its so cute! <3

Anyways im just REALLY exited to see where youre going with this comic!! <3

omg omg omg okay I woke up to this, immediately read it FIVE TIMES IN A ROW, and have spent all day trying to figure out how to reply to so many lovely compliments 😭😭😭

THANK YOU SO MUCH OBVIOUSLY it means the world that you read every part and then took the time to type this up! This comic is such a labor of love for me and I'm always trying to work in a lot of fun and cute little details/moments so when people notice and point out those things it makes my heart SWELL WITH JOY. (If you like the hearts on her palms, part ten has some hidden hearts as well heehee)

When I started this my only goals were to scratch my lovesquare itch and get comfortable drawing again after being out of the habit for years. I had, idk maybe ten followers and did not expect anyone to read it or that I would actually manage to draw more than five parts or so AND NOW HERE WE ARE lol. I am so happy that you can see an improvement in the art, not just in how the characters are drawn but stuff like backgrounds and the visual storytelling as well. I hope to get better and better with each part!

Reading your comments about the characterization makes me wanna screech with happiness because I LOVE. THESE. IDIOTS. SO MUCH it is ridiculous!! RIDICULOUS! And as much as I adore leaning into them being incredibly stupid, it is important to me to show how much tenderness lies at the heart of their interactions. They are so, so stupid because they’re so, so sweet. Confessions is very much “journey over destination” because I just want to indulge in as much insanity, humor, awkwardness, confusion, affection, devotion, and partnership I can manage to tease out of their relationship in one story.

The color palette btw was a complete and total happy accident! Sometimes a thing works because you put lots of thought and effort into it, and sometimes a thing works because you fell on it. The color palette is an example of the latter but THE JACKET is an example of the former, haha. The amount of time it took to develop not just the meaning of it but literally the physical design (gotta look like something Marinette might actually make, gotta be something that I can draw a bunch of times, gotta be something that [spoilers redacted], gotta be something that fits over Chat’s shoulders, gotta be something that actually looks good, omg.) I have a whole post about it already but still more to say because I always have more to say! this is so much rambling I’m sorry

One of the big challenges I’ve had in trying to make a comic is figuring out how to balance what to say, what to show, and what to imply. The jacket is first and foremost exactly how Marinette presents it, a means to hopefully reach Adrien and deliver the card from his classmates. The specifics behind the design are more implied. Marinette pours a week of blood sweat and tears into creating this jacket, and as far as Chat Noir sees, she is single-mindedly focused on that task. But we all know she’s ALSO carrying the responsibilities and concerns of being Ladybug. Losing the Miraculous is obviously like... the biggest thing, a terrible and invisible weight that she carries alone!

Except not, because Chat Noir is there. He’s there for Ladybug, he’s there for Marinette, he’s a constant presence in her life and his support allows her to move beyond the shame and horror of losing the Miraculous. Marinette embroiders the symbols of the stolen Miraculous centered around the ladybug and surrounded by irises (sorry they aren’t roses!), and it looks like a topical show of support for her local superheroes; Ladybug embroiders the symbols of the stolen Miraculous centered on the ladybug and surrounded by irises and it’s a promise to her city that she’s going to get them back. (That she stitches the symbol of the cat in the left-hand side of the lining so that it zips over the wearer’s heart might mean something too but that was... more subconscious.)

ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYY I hope that my long-winded rambling comes across appropriately as a sign of JUST HOW THRILLED I am to have received this beautiful thoughtful ask. Hopefully the behind the scenes talk was fun to read haha. I am so honored and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!!

#sandra talks #confessions rambling #ask #bugaboooooooooo #someday I might actually finish designing the bee akuma #dsjaklf;#NO PROMISES BUT IT MIGHT HAPPEN

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adoranoia · 1 year

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y’know how i put a tl;dr of my general hcs for yuri in one big hc dump to expand on later? well, i’m doing it again, this time with miss sayori–let’s do this, yall!

*her parents are actually lovely ppl, (unlike yuri’s rip), it’s just their situation sucks, you know? i’ll make a more fleshed out post abt this later, but. well, tl;dr ???– *her dad is. very sick, he’d been in-and-out of hospitals for varying periods of time, eventually settling with home visits/care instead. which leaves her mom, often out working til the late at night and generally stressed out as she tries to keep a roof over her families heads, and pay medical bills in the same breath. *and that’s probably a big reason why sayori is. the way she is, bc she’s used to putting on that happy/brave face around her family, considering their situation. both to try and help them, and also to not stress any of them out further tbh?

*her love of literature surprisingly started young–telling scary stories at sleepovers, reading fairytales, playing pretend, making silly ocs, etc etc. she’s rlly good at improv + quickly brainstorming ideas, and. nowadays, she’s really into dnd and similar things. *she has a dnd group that has sessions online, since that was easier on her w/ her depression. but even that’s too much for her sometimes, she tries, though.

*since her room is on the second floor, when she wants to relax/be alone with her thoughts, she’ll climb out her window and sit on the bit of the roof underneath. *when her and MC were kids, they’d sit out there together and stargaze, but they haven’t done that in… years. but sayori still remembers it, and thinks of it fondly. *collects a lot of little enamel pins, stickers, action figures, and comic books! probably has a ita schoolbag and a flip phone with a cutesy charm attached.

*has a goldfish named ‘kerria’, her and MC rescued (by which i mean stole) them from a kingyo sukui booth at a festival when they were kids, around ten or so. *it was getting late, so the booth was getting taken down for the day, and there was only one (1) fish left, and. sayori was worried abt what would happen to them, so! she scooped them into a fish bag, while MC kept the stall keeper distracted. *let’s be real if they had just asked the guy about it, they most likely would’ve gotten the fish with a lot less fuss, but. hey, it’s a fun memory at least, ok…

*sayori was on the track team throughout junior high, but backed out before entering senior high, both bc of a low point in her depression + being stressed out in general. she spent the next few years hopping from club 2 club, trying 2 find somewhere she belonged once again. *but, well. she’d always end up getting kicked out after a few days, if she wasn’t outright turned away because of that unlucky reputation. *almost setting the cooking club on fire, trying to act out a scene and accidentally hitting s/b while gesturing in the drama club, tripping and falling into some of the newly finished pieces in the art club, etc etc. *she was. tbh, ready to just give up and attend the go home club instead, when monika suddenly approached her about the newly forming literature club! 👀👀👀

*sayori has a habit of doodling on anything she can get her hands on, her desk, her schoolwork, her skin, etc etc. she finds the action of scribbling away v relaxing. *it’s a good way 2 keep her mind off whatever might be bothering her, and it keeps her fidgety hands busy, y'know? her art is pretty decent too, round, cartoony and colorful, wouldn’t look out of a place in a kid’s book or something, to be honest! *being a comic book fan, she also draws her own sometimes, short ones mostly starring herself and her clubmates, about any misadventures they might have! *there’s def one abt the ‘wine incident’……………………………………………..

*sayori taught herself how 2 play ukulele as a tween, but her interest and will to practice slowly fizzled out as she got older. until recently that is, she’s started playing again w/ support from a certain club president! *sometimes, when one of them is having a particularly bad day, sayori and monika will skip class and hang out in the school’s music room, play s/t together, and talk about whatever comes to mind.

*sayori’s feelings on monika post-game (in the good ending) are… complicated, esp after becoming club president and dealing w/ all the self-aware stuff first hand. like, she understands it, in a way? *is she still mad/upset? obviously, they were friends, or at least sayori thought they were, but monika still… y'know. but after becoming club president herself? she gets it! because it kinda sucks! like a lot! so, cool motive, still shitty, but sayori does forgive monika in the end. *but, also: she isn’t sure if her forgiveness would even mean anything to monika, bc. does she still see them as ‘just code’, or what? i mean she brought them back for a reason, but… who knows. sayori hopes it’d make her feel a little better, at least. she misses her sometimes.

*she likes video games, even if she doesn’t play them as often as MC, she WILL kick ur ass in super smash bros + mario kart, and likes animal crossing. also, there’s an arcade in town, she’s the highest score on a lot of their games. *learning to bake from natsuki, but still can’t cook worth a damn–can and will eat breakfast stuff 4 every meal if u let her. (also rlly likes cheap gas station slushies) *has lots of little rituals, like not stepping on sidewalk cracks, sorting candy by colors before eating them, making wishes @ 11:11, etc etc. it might seem silly to others, but it rlly does bother her when she can’t complete them for w/e reason. *likes making braided bracelets bc she finds the repetitive task calming, has most def made the rest of the club + MC ofc friendship bracelets, all in their 'main color’. (blue for her, green for monika, pink for natsuki, purple for yuri, and red for MC.)

*sayori is a earring bisexual, has lots of funky ones she switches them out everyday or so, having special pairs for holidays and such.she often makes a lot of them herself, with her crafty skillz™.

#* && OOC #* && SAYORI /// ALOOF; KOOKY !#my fave gorl..................#illness tw #long post tw

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clubmates-a · 2 years

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y’know how i put a tl;dr of my general hcs for yuri in one big hc dump to expand on later? well, i’m doing it again, this time with miss sayori–let’s do this, yall! <3

>her parents are actually lovely ppl, (unlike yuri’s rip), it’s just their situation sucks, you know? i’ll make a more fleshed out post abt this later, but. well, tl;dr ???– >her dad is. very sick, he’d been in-and-out of hospitals for varying periods of time, eventually settling with home visits/care instead. which leaves her mom, often out working til the late at night and generally stressed out as she tries to keep a roof over her families heads, and pay medical bills in the same breath. >and that’s probably a big reason why sayori is. the way she is, bc she’s used to putting on that happy/brave face around her family, considering their situation. both to try and help them, and also to not stress any of them out further tbh?

>her love of literature surprisingly started young–telling scary stories at sleepovers, reading fairytales, playing pretend, making silly ocs, etc etc. she’s rlly good at improv + quickly brainstorming ideas, and. nowadays, she’s really into dnd and similar things. >she has a dnd group that has sessions online, since that was easier on her w/ her depression. but even that’s too much for her sometimes, she tries, though.

>since her room is on the second floor, when she wants to relax/be alone with her thoughts, she’ll climb out her window and sit on the bit of the roof underneath. >when her and MC were kids, they’d sit out there together and stargaze, but they haven’t done that in… years. but sayori still remembers it, and thinks of it fondly. >collects a lot of little enamel pins, stickers, action figures, and comic books! probably has a ita schoolbag and a flip phone with a cutesy charm attached.

>has a goldfish named ‘kerria’, her and MC rescued (by which i mean stole) them from a kingyo sukui booth at a festival when they were kids, around ten or so. >it was getting late, so the booth was getting taken down for the day, and there was only one (1) fish left, and. sayori was worried abt what would happen to them, so! she scooped them into a fish bag, while MC kept the stall keeper distracted. >let’s be real if they had just asked the guy about it, they most likely would’ve gotten the fish with a lot less fuss, but. hey, it’s a fun memory at least, ok…

>sayori was on the track team throughout junior high, but backed out before entering senior high, both bc of a low point in her depression + being stressed out in general. she spent the next few years hopping from club 2 club, trying 2 find somewhere she belonged once again. >but, well. she’d always end up getting kicked out after a few days, if she wasn’t outright turned away because of that unlucky reputation. >almost setting the cooking club on fire, trying to act out a scene and accidentally hitting s/b while gesturing in the drama club, tripping and falling into some of the newly finished pieces in the art club, etc etc. >she was. tbh, ready to just give up and attend the go home club instead, when monika suddenly approached her about the newly forming literature club! 👀👀👀

>sayori has a habit of doodling on anything she can get her hands on, her desk, her schoolwork, her skin, etc etc. she finds the action of scribbling away v relaxing. >it’s a good way 2 keep her mind off whatever might be bothering her, and it keeps her fidgety hands busy, y'know? her art is pretty decent too, round, cartoony and colorful, wouldn’t look out of a place in a kid’s book or something, to be honest! >being a comic book fan, she also draws her own sometimes, short ones mostly starring herself and her clubmates, about any misadventures they might have! >there’s def one abt the 'wine incident’……………………………....................

>sayori taught herself how 2 play ukulele as a tween, but her interest and will to practice slowly fizzled out as she got older. until recently that is, she’s started playing again w/ support from a certain club president! >sometimes, when one of them is having a particularly bad day, sayori and monika will skip class and hang out in the school’s music room, play s/t together, and talk about whatever comes to mind.

>sayori’s feelings on monika post-game (in the good ending) are… complicated, esp after becoming club president and dealing w/ all the self-aware stuff first hand. like, she understands it, in a way? >is she still mad/upset? obviously, they were friends, or at least sayori thought they were, but monika still… y'know. but after becoming club president herself? she gets it! because it kinda sucks! like a lot! so, cool motive, still shitty, but sayori does forgive monika in the end. >but, also: she isn’t sure if her forgiveness would even mean anything to monika, bc. does she still see them as ‘just code’, or what? i mean she brought them back for a reason, but… who knows. sayori hopes it’d make her feel a little better, at least. she misses her sometimes.

>she likes video games, even if she doesn’t play them as often as MC, she WILL kick ur ass in super smash bros + mario kart, and likes animal crossing. also, there’s an arcade in town, she’s the highest score on a lot of their games. >learning to bake from natsuki, but still can’t cook worth a damn–can and will eat breakfast stuff 4 every meal if u let her. (also rlly likes cheap gas station slushies) >has lots of little rituals, like not stepping on sidewalk cracks, sorting candy by colors before eating them, making wishes @ 11:11, etc etc. it might seem silly to others, but it rlly does bother her when she can’t complete them for w/e reason. >likes making braided bracelets bc she finds the repetitive task calming, has most def made the rest of the club + MC ofc friendship bracelets, all in their 'main color’. (blue for sayori, green for monika, pink for natsuki, purple for yuri, and red for MC.)

>sayori is a earring gay, she has lots of funky ones she switches out everyday or so, having special pairs for holidays and such. she often makes a lot of them herself, with her crafty skillz(tm).

#* && OOC #* && SAYORI /// ALOOF; KOOKY !#my fave gorl..................#illness tw #long post tw

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mobtism · 2 years

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thinking abt my ocd again... smth i am rlly proud of myself for is keeping this tumblr account for so long without moving... ive had it for i think two years now? and that is a really huge deal for me.

d.nt r/b... mutuals i implore you to read on

i struggled heavily with mental/emotional contamination growing up. i never necessarily knew it was a thing, never had the words for it. but i very often found myself feeling Wrong over things that realistically had nothing actually wrong with them.

if i had drama between a friend and me, i needed to move accounts because it was unbearable. the bad experience i had while on the account made me feel disgusting. the account was now contaminated with a horrible memory. and the feeling only festered until i moved accounts and gave myself a clean, blank slate, untouched by the icky experience.

this intense feeling of contamination wasnt only triggered by dramatically bad events. there were times i would need to move accounts because it felt like it was contaminated by an old interest i no longer liked. there were times it felt like the "memory bank" on that account was full - that i experienced and spent "too much" time on that account, and i no longer had room for new memories. sometimes i simply felt the need to move because it felt like my life was improving, and i wanted to put sadder times behind me and start anew. there were even times where nothing happened, but i still felt the need to move.

like a horrible itch you cant scratch, itd sit in my mind and make me feel highly anxious, uncomfortable, and wrong. and there is this intense stress and fear that, if i were to keep that contaminated thing in my life any longer, i would become contaminated too. these feelings would fester endlessly, until i'd finally move accounts. and then that overwhelming, devastating, nagging feeling would disappear almost immediately. i'd finally have a sense of clarity, like i could finally breathe freely again.

its damaging. its debilitating. this intense feeling of dread and fear. this inherent Wrongness. it takes control over me, it becomes my most present thought, and it is extremely stressful to deal with. and it can not be shaken off easily. my brain tells me that it has to be dealt with in the Exact Right Way - otherwise, the awful feeling and the thoughts will not go away, and it will worsen with every passing moment. its something i have to fight against constantly. ocd is a constant battle against yourself, against your own brain and what it tells you. and hopefully, hopefully, you'll eventually win against it... but only enough for it to then manifest in some other way. this process never stops. it is a constant cycle of this, present in so many different ways, tons of them, always, all at once. and all you can do is just keep fighting at every chance you get.

i still struggle with mental/emotional contamination, it still manifests in other ways. i am still ocd.

but with this? i have made progress. ive had this account for two whole years... and i am culminating memories, both good and bad on here, and im staying put. there have been so many times over the last 2years where ive wanted to delete my account and start all over again, erase every memory i could - good and bad. but i havent. and im still here, on this account, after two whole years. and that is something i am so proud of myself for.

#ask to tag #extremely nervous about posting this... but i think its something i need to talk about.#because i am proud of myself. ive grown a lot as a person and certain things have gotten better because ive worked toward them.#and i really think its important to talk about my experience with ocd.#this is a really vulnerable thing for me. i do not like talking about my actual struggles.#but i think its really important. to maybe give insight into what its like.#contamination #contamination cw #ocd tag #✨

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spinobsessed · 8 months

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Writing

I remember when I gave up on writing, I didn’t literally give up bc I had assignments to do and I was a fanfic writer at the time, but mentally I just stopped believing my work was good. I don’t think I’m a good writer anymore.

I was in 8th grade in Geography class. We were slowly working our way as a class through writing an essay and my teacher told me she was going to put my introduction paragraph on the board. I was so proud, but when she put the paragraph up she started talking abt how (this was over a year ago so bare with me) basically bad it was and was calling on ppl to make corrections or criticisms. It was anonymous but I still teared up and felt so embarrassed, that was the only way I knew how to write introduction paragraphs. Nobody taught me how to improve on what I learnt in 4th grade, how was I supposed to know that she would want something different? Or what that something was? Anyways afterwards she came over to me and kneeled down next to me and whispered if I was okay, among other things I can’t remember, then patted me on the back and went to her desk. I felt the most safe/open with her at the time and most of that “safeness” went down the drain after that.

This was only reinforced when I started 9th grade last year and never got over a B+ on any writing assignment I had, it rlly upset me how my ENGLISH teacher never taught us anything abt how to write. How are you going to give us essays, grade them poorly, but not even give any feedback? My history teacher gave feedback but it was always that I either wasn’t being specific enough (I made it a point to be specific yet I still wasn’t), or I didn’t understand the question and answered the wrong thing. I tried so hard with all my writing assignments and I never got over a B+, and that B+ was only bc of a revision assignment we do after the initial SAQ/DBQ in history.

I just don’t know what happened, I used to love writing in 4th/5th grade. There were no right or wrong ways to write (supposedly 🙄) unlike in math; it was just abt expressing yourself and your creativity. I wanted to be a teacher but get a degree in writing aswell, in 6th grade I considered being a judge or a journalist as well as a teacher. My dad says he’s quite upset that his best/favorite subject is something I suck at (not his words, just basically what he said)

#Ugh #what do they want from me?#Why is writing just so hard now #Why won’t they tell me how to write better #Idek what’s going on with my history work #But 9th grade English was just annoying #autism #actually autistic

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linkspooky · 3 years

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idk if ur taking asks abt jjk but i was curious on ur thoughts abt gojo i haven’t rlly heard this around but i’ve been thinking abt the fact that gojo desire to basically indoctrinate children to fit his ideal sorcerer society is a bit strange and i saw this on your meta on how the schools only see these kids as tools but doesn’t gojo do the same idk my thoughts are everywhere and i get that gojo was raised in this system so it’s normalised in his eyes but idk gojo’s ideology is lowkey fucked imo and i was curious what u thought

I think Gojo is a product of the same society that raises up kids to be used as tools, and he unintentionally passes that lesson onto his students.Gojo knows that the system is wrong for using kids that way, but he’s such a fundamental part of the system, he doesn’t really know how to overcome it works inside of it instead. I think what he said to Megumi is pretty telling of how he treats these kids in general, he tells him you better get strong or else you’ll get left behind.” He thinks he’s teaching them what’s best, because that’s how Gojo understands the world works, but at the same time he’s telling a five year old kid if he fails to protect his sister it’s all his fault.

Gojo teaches his students to “get stronger, get stronger” as a response for all of their problems. He takes responsibility for their development as sorcerers, but nothing else really, and especially not their well-being as individuals. Gojo basically treats his students like mini-adults, friends he can pal around with, and that makes sense if you think about it, he’s raising them all to be political allies. He’s not really trying to raise a bunch of healthy adults. I think Gojo genuinely does care for these kids and stick out his neck to protect them, and his goal is entirely an altruistic one to prevent the childhoods of other children from getting destroyed like his did. However, Gojo is fatally a selfish person just like Geto is fatally selfless, he doesn’t offer help out of the goodness of his heart, he barters. He always expects something in return from these children.

So, on one level I believe Gojo yes is intentionally using these children. He only extends help when he gets something in return from them, his helps is always conditional on the fact that he’ll gain another ally. However, at the same time I think the problem more lies in the fact that Gojo doesn’t see individual people as individuals, and therefore doesn’t want to pay attention to the indivdual emotions of his students that he ends up using his students this way. He thinks it’s fine. This is how he was used growing up, but this time, Gojo is using them for good ends instead of a bad one.

I think Gojo’s inability to take care of their needs as individuals, especially attending to their emotional needs is why Tokyo Students are so strong indivudally, but weak as a group. Gojo’s only interesting in fostering their strength as sorcerers, not their emotional health, or their interpersonal relationships, because he doesn’t view those things as necessary. I mean he’s only had one best friend his whole life, and look at him, he’s fine.

To give evidence to my argument though, here’s a comparison between the Tokyo Kids and the Kyoto Kids.

1. Tokyo vs Kyoto

Gojo can be a fantastic teacher when he wants to be, but it requires him paying attention to a student’s individual needs, which he almost never does. When he designs a lesson plan raound Yuji, he does two things that make him better than most Jujutsu Sorcerers already. First, most traditional teachers teach that cursed technique is everything, and would have rejected Yuji outright. Whereas Gojo sees Yuji’s strength as a brawler. He’s willing to go outside the box, and buck tradition to focus on a student’s individual strength and emphasize those rather than telling Yuji he’ll never be a strong sorcerer without strong techniques. The second is he comes up with a method extremely suited to Yuji’s learning style.

However, I think it’s important to note that Yuji and Gojo are actually really similiar. He’s a really receptive student who hangs off of Gojo’s every word. For Gojo it’s like him teaching a younger version of himself, someone who believes that strength is everything, and wants to become the strongeste to be a pillar of support to others. You don’t really get good teacher points for spending the most time with someone who’s easy to teach.

And even with Yuji whose really really receptive to Gojo’s highly individual focused learning style, there are several things that Gojo just neglects to teach or even mention. Basic, fundamental things, that every sorcerer should know.

Nanami has to go out of his way to give Yuji the 101, because Gojo neglected to tell him all the basics. Children are smart of course, especially adolescents who are capable of thinking for themselves, but they also generally know what they’ve been taught up to this point. Yuji is a complete newcomer to the sorcerery world, it makes sense he’d basically be a blank slate having to learn all of this from scratch, but Gojo himself either doesn’t know this, or doesn’t bother with it because it’s too troublesome. He thinks of the kids as miniature adults so, it would make sense that he just assumes they know everything he knows already.

That’s the entire point of introducing Nanami into the story. Gojo teaches Yuji to be a better sorcerer, but not to be an adult, and it’s because he doesn’t really see him as a child to begin with. Gojo thinks becoming a strong sorcerer is the way to teach these kids to be good adults, but he neglects the emotional half of having to teach because Gojo doesn’t deal with emotions well. I mean, even in his training of Yuji, he designs a training method where Gojo doesn’t actually have to be there, and present with him most of the time. He can lock him in a room, and go run off to do Gojo things while Yuji teaches himself. As opposed to a mentor like Nanami who constantly watches and monitors his development.

This is where we start to get to the comparison with the Kyoto students. Because even in the creaive way Gojo taught Yuji, there were some things that Yuji just learned wrong, and internalized wrong from Gojo’s lesson.

Gojo explained the theory behind Yuji’s divergent fist, but Yuji learned it wrong, because he didn’t understand the way cursed energy flowed through the body. If Gojo was paying attention, he would have caught it and corrected it, but Gojo’s teaching style is sink or swim, let students learn or fall entirely on their own. Whereas, when Todo actually sees Yuji’s flawed divertgent fist, he’s able to point out the problem.

Todo actually acknowledges that there’s a difference between beginners and elite sorcerers, that their’s a learning curve to these things, and rather than leaving Yuji to learn it on his own he guides him through these things. While at the same time, expecting Yuji to figure out some things naturally. Todo never once goes easy on Yuji, I’d say his standards for people are as harsh as Gojo’s. You either learn it or you don’t. You’re either strong or you’re not. However, there’s a distinct difference between Todo and Gojo’s teaching styles, and it’s that Todo is emotionally intelligent, and Gojo is not.

Todo pays attention to people, he notices when they’re off, when they’re going through something, and rather than just ignore it, he almost immediately addresses it and tries to talk them thorugh it. It’s not perfect of course, but having his emotions paid attention to, helps Yuji develop as a person moreso than a sorcerer.

The Kyoto students have a teacher who pays attention to their individual needs. A teacher who actually teaches. While we may not know much about Utahime as a character yet, you can see the direct impact she has on her students compared to Gojo.

Gojo’s students are individually strong, but weak as a team,. Utahime’s students are much weaker individually, but can come together.

It shows both in the Kyoto Battle Event, but also the Shibuya arc. The Kyoto kids are all unstable it’s true, they’re all prone to lashing out, but because they’ve dealt with such dark emotions rather than repressing them they’re also way more capable of talking about their feelings to others.

Yes, the Kyoto kids don’t deserve to lash out at whoever they want. Yes, lashing out is a bad way to attempt communication. However, it’s also true that the Tokyo kids respond with what basically amounts to self-righteousness. The Kyoto kids are lashing out because they are going through something, because they’re suffering, yet the Tokyo kids don’t really try to understand those feelings.

Kamo was seperated from his mother at a young age. Maki left Mai behind in an abusive household. Nobara has never experienced the same abuse that Mai has so she’s not really in a position to judge which twin she thinks is the good twin, and which is the bad one. Mechamaru is chronically ill and in constant agony, and then instead of getting him medical help he’s just being used as a toy soldier.

So. The problem is. Gojo’s style of teaching. He wants these kids to be political allies. He wants them to try to make a better world than the one he experienced growing up. However, Gojo doesn’t really teach them to think for themselves. He doesn’t teach them to look at the situation, and the way the Jujutsu World is designed to manipulate and use these children.

Individual responsibiltiy is a good lesson to teach. Individual responssibility can help someone get over themselves and their issues and work towards self improvement, but it’s also, not the only solution. It’s also, impossible to overcome these circumstances all on their own.

Mai can’t be strong like Maki. She’s not weak for folding under the pressure of being in an abusive household. You could even argue that Maki isn’t stronger than her abuse, because emotionally she’s weak, she can’t even maintain a relationship with her own sister she has to cut herself off from everyone.

Kamo has to follow the clan’s orders, he’s terrified they’ll hurt his mother and he’ll never see her again. She’s actively being used as a tool to manipulate them.

Mechamaru is already strong as a sorcerer, that’s not going to stop the fact that he’s chronically ill.

Basically, in this regard Gojo’s students repeat what Gojo himself always says. “Have you tried getting stronger?” We can see why this approach doesn’t work with Kokichi, because he did do what Gojo would always reccomend. He didn’t want to burden others with his emotions so he tried to be strong and solve everything on his own, and that resulted in his death.

Think if Mechamaru had been supported. If he thought it was okay to confide his problems with others, if it was okay for him to be weak, and ask for help when he didn’t know what to do on his own.

However, when he tried to do that with panda he just got slapped with a “Your behavior is wrong.” It’s why even when telling people, especially children their behavior is wrong you also need to be sure to take care of their emotional needs as well. Especially teenagers, because teenagers are literally all emotions, they’re not minitature, fully-developed adults. Kokichi was wrong to lash out, but his emotions were right. He has every right to be in pain. When he’s told off, he also takes that as a message that he’s weak for trying to confide anything in others, that him complaining about his victimhood made him weak in the first place, so what does Kokichi do. He retreates into himself, he quiets down about his problems, he tries to solve everything on his own and he fails at doing that because you can’t. You cannot solve all your problems by simply being stronger than them.

Gojo’s students aren’t raised as emotionally healthy individuals, and because of that they also can’t really relate to the emotions of other people, especially the negative one. They are, strong willed individuals yes, strong sorcerers, yes, but they’re not really a team.

I think that’s illustrated in how they all fall apart in Shibuya. All of Gojo’s students basically make the same mistake, they don’t listen to the adults, they charge into battle because “I’m strong enough.”

Nobara, the adults literally all told you not to fight. Nobara: Nah it’s fine I’m strong.

Look at how Nobara loses. The second she starts fighting with Yuji as a team, she makes a sloppy mistake because she 1) underestimated her opponent and 2) was never taught how to fight in a team.

It’s not just Nobara though it’s every single one of them.

Yuji runs off on his own, fights on his own, and loses to Choso. Megumi suicide attacks to take down one (1) opponent whose just a regular curse user when he reaches his limit.

This is what they are all taught. They all have to fight on their own, be strong on their own, and if they’re strong enough they’ll win, if they’re not strong enough oh well. The Tokyo Kids genuinely like each other as a team but they’re always running away from each other. They all overestimate themselves and what they’re capable of handling and get in over their heads.

And it does go back to the Kyoto Battle arc, because the Tokyo kids are just as emotionally disturbed as the Kyoto kids, they just are repressed about it. Take Megumi for example, Megumi has been abandoned and neglected all of his life, and Gojo never really offered him any support or healing for that abandonment.

There’s no canon indication that Gojo ever raised Megumi or did anything with him other than provide for housing, and protect him from the Zenin clan on the condition that Megumi STILL BECOME A SORCERER, JUST ONE POLITICALLY ALLIGNED FOR HIM AND NOT THE ZENIN.

He didn’t offer Megumi a chance at a normal life, or even help him grow up as an individual because Gojo’s not interested in these things. Gojo’s help is conditional on the fact that Megumi work hard to pay him back, and reach his full potential as a sorcerer. As a result, Megumi is walking around with completely unaddressed abandonment issues as a result of never having a stable adult in his life, and this goes, completely unnoticed, which leads to him constantly risking his own life, endangering and harming himself. Megumi’s just as unstable as the Kyoto kids, he’s going to do something dangerous someday soon. It’s just Megumi’s been taught from a young age, he has to be the responsible one in his household, and he has to take responsibility for everything on his own by working to become stronger, and look like where that has led him.

Hmm, I wonder why Megumi always feels like it’s his responsibility to sacrifice, what could have possibly led him ot that conclusion? Why does he feel so responsible for the actions of other people around him? It’s a geuine mystery.

However, the Kyoto kids are capable of doing something the Tokyo kids can’t do. They can cry and be weak in front of other people. They can support each other as a group. Not only did they help Miwa at her lowest point, but Yuji would have given up, had Todo not shown up when he did.

Yuji actually wasn’t capable of handling it all on his own. He couldn’t defeat Mahito just by being stronger than him, or having a strong will.

Individualism like Gojo teaches is important, but it’s also incomplete. It’s only half the solution. The Tokyo kids need the camraderie of the Kyoto kids, the same way the Kyoto kids need to learn to take responsibility for themselves.

That’s why the Shibuya arc ends the way it does. The Tokyo kids failing as individuals, and the Kyoto kids coming together as team. However, since both sides only have half the answer, neither side is able to defeat Kamo Sr. totally.

However, Gojo’s mistakes are shown even more clearly after the arc resolves. Gojo doesn’t actually teach people to think for themselves, because he’s raising them up to follow his politics. Now, look at what his students are doing in his absence. Gojo wants to fix the broken world, but Yuji’s conclusion he comes too after suffering is that he doesn’t want to think about fixing the world. He just wants to become another cog in the machine.

What was the greatest mistake the previous generation made?

Geto. Not only in exposing him to the trauma of Riko dying in front of him. But also, offering him no support a year afterwards. Yaga completely neglecting him and failing to see what was going wrong. Then, when Geto finally did break, sending another student to kill him.

Yaga really can’t understand why this eighteen year old would hestiate to kill this other eighteen year old, that’s been his best and only friend for three years. Why is this child not comfortable with an execution mission? It baffles the mind.

Gojo, by failing to raise his students as emotionally healthy individuals repeats the same mistake.

Yuta and Yuji both don’t really care about the world around them, or politics. They don’t pay attention to those things, they weren’t raised to do that. However, now because of that, because both are willing to become cogs in the machine they’re both letting themselves beused right now.

They refused to think for themselves, so now the elders are manipulating them into a conflict against each other. Yuta because he doesn’t see the situation at large, he only wants to protect his friends. Yuji, because the only way he thinks he has value is by killing curses, he’s just going to keep blindly executing them until Yuta comes to kill him. Gojo’s students are divided specially because of that reason. They’re not together as a group, they’re just a group of particularly strong individuals, and Gojo never even thought that these strong individuals with no particular connection to each other might turn against each other. They might lie to each other. They might keep secrets from each other. They might fail to communicate. Because, Gojo doesn’t really pay attention to complex relaitonships like that. He’s only had his one friend his whole life.

Even though that’s also exactly what happened to his one and only friend, his emotional needs were neglected by the system around him until he completely fell apart. Geto and Gojo’s problem wasn’t that they weren’t “the strongest” when they were together. It’s that they were never “together” again after a certain point.

#Anonymous #gojo satoru #suguru geto #okkotsu yuta #itadori yuji #metasks #jjk meta

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sugrx · 3 years

Note

1, 16 and 24

1. what did you learn about yourself this year?

i’ve obv changed a little bit and definitely have COMPLETELY different interests this year,,,, like if my last year self saw me now they would be like ‘wtf is dream smp oh my god you got into minecraft again didn’t you i thought i had finally moved past this phase when i was 9 YEARS OLD WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUT DOWN THE PEN STOP MAKING MINECRAFT FANAR--”

also i think i’ve gotten a bit better grasp on my sexuality/gender?? (that's explained more in the next question) and i feel like my art has DARASTICALLY improved like look at my last year art look at it i didn’t even know how to make .png files if i saw my current art style last year i would CRY OF JOY

but my artistic eye has rlly developed since then tho and even though if i could draw as well as i could this year last year i would be over the moon now i just,,,, i see things i really want to change?? and my inspiration artists are so much beTTER THEN mE?? how do i be as good as thEM??? MY ART BELONGS IN TR ASH??

i was rlly anxious this year about my writing bc i haven’t been doing it as often and i feel like i SHOULD bc art is just a hobby and my main aspiration is writing and literally i feel like i haven’t improved at all since last year literally i looked at a piece i wrote last year and i haven’t improved at all,,, i feel like in general my stories have gotten better but not my general writing abilities?? like,,, last year i had this one story i planned to write that i really liked but i’ve basically scrapped it now and i have like 3 different stories i have going that im in love with but haven’t touched in weeks bc i’ve been so distrACTED

my self-image has also become a little,,, less?? this year?? i think??? idk if its just been the general mood of this year bc it sucked for everybody but im definitely not as excited and confident as i was last year

16. did you learn anything about your sexuality this year?

yeS?? NO?? MAYBE??? YES???

i mean i was questioning last year and im still questioning this year but,,, i’ve kinda thought about it more?? last year i was like completely clueless but i think now i have a vague sense of direction?? somewhat??

ive only had one crush ever when i was in kindergarten and that's not a lot of information to go off but it was a boy so i know i like boys,,, but also at the same time?? i could imagine liking a girl?? but I've never actually had any romantic feelings towards a girl yet so im not going to officially label myself bisexual or pansexual or anything so im sticking to questioning until i've had more romantic experience bUT that’s still something

i’ve also thought about my gender a lil bit?? it’s not something i’ve been super concerned with up until now but idk i haven’t been,,, feeling good abt it?? bc im growing up and my body is getting more “feminine” and it’s been making me uncomfortable??? like not to the point where i absolutely despise my body but like,,, a vague sense of uncomfortableness whenever i look at myself without like 4565492834589 sweaters blocking the shape of my body LOL

like,,, i could imagine being a boy and sometimes i want to be a boy but at the same time,,, there’s some things i rlly like abt being a girl that i wouldn’t want to get rid of entirely?? is there a sexuality for being both a boy and girl???????? idk,,, i’ve been debating if im gender fluid, since sometimes i would prefer if i was a boy and other times i like being a girl,,, but i haven’t done enough research into it so im sticking to she/her pronouns for now, plus this is all kinda vague speculation

so basically nothing’s changed with my gender/sexuality other then i’ve thought abt it more and have more of a vague concept of it

24. who has made the biggest impact in your life this year?

i feel like there hasn't rlly been a single person in particular who has affected my life this year? this year has definitely not been my best (probably one of my worst actually) not just bc of the pandemic but idk i felt like i was drifting away from my friends but couldn’t muster up the courage to do anything abt it??? but nearing the end of the year things have been getting somewhat better with that

i got tumblr this year and managed to become more active with some friends who i felt like i was loosing touch with (like luvu and dan!) and that definitely had a positive impact!! but i feel like if anything shows/fandoms/fictional universes made more impact on me this year then anything?? idk whenever i’m stressed i usually fallback on fictional media bc i love consuming storytelling content,,,, i probably focus more on other’s fictional worlds then my own LMAO

my interests have shifted a lot this year but i feel like my comfort fictional characters and current favorite shows rlly helped me get through this year!

namely a few fandoms that have really made an impact were sander sides, dream smp, the owl house, etc..! i RLLY got into sander sides near the beginning of the year and rn near the end of the year im RLLY into dream smp (as you can tell) but even if i don’t post as obsessively about one fandom doesn’t mean i still don’t love it and it made a significant impact on my life!! i feel like every fictional universe i’ve been into has affected me just as a whole in some way and i’ve definitely subconsciously weaven aspects of them into my own stories! not to mention i’ve been rlly getting into some of my friend’s fictional universes lately and i have been DYING over them and they’re so underrated and inspire me so much!! namely the 4 queens story (@luvuwite‘s), a NUMBER of @raventherobot‘s stories (im simp for vin’s story and also kayne and also EVERYBODYAJKSJKSJKADJK) and also i love @hypnoticcdan‘s oc viper and i dont know a lot about their story yet but i am LEARNING also horizon is baby we stan,,,,

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

Text

Broken arm

A/N: This was requested by anon, I hope you enjoy! please let me know what you think! Also this is like my worst fear, like that sounds dumb but breaking something sounds absolutely disgusting to me. In movies if they do like sound effects of bones breaking and I know it’s coming, I mute the sound.

summary: i was wondering if you could write a reddie x daughter where the losers club all go out and the daughter gets hurt (maybe breaks an arm) so they all freak out and take her to the hospital, and it’s just rlly cute at the end. i just feel like i could image richie and eddie just freaking out abt what to do and not actually doing anything so the rest of the losers have to step in

warnings: mentions of a broken arm and surgories (not graphic), mentions of throwing up (but also not graphic) and some curse words and your mom joke

At least once a month, all the losers have a reunion that usually either takes place in Ben and Bev’s lake house, or in their boat. The reason it does, is because Ben and Bev combined have enough money to restore any damages that may or may not occur during these times, more often than not Richie fault.

This time however, by some unlucky draw of the hat, everyone agrees to meet up in Richie and Eddie’s home, because their daughter Alexa isn’t feeling too great, and Richie not Eddie felt comfortable relocating with her for a few days.

She had nothing major, just a stomach bug that causes her to throw up from time to time, but Both Eddie and Richie were more than ready to postponed the losers’ meeting. Alexa insisted that all the plans continued on as normal despite her feeling unwell, since she loved spending time with her uncles and aunt any time she could, and when she showed signs of her health improving, nobody cancelled anything.

With the first knock on the door, Alexa jumps up, rushing to welcome whoever has made it to their house first, ignoring how her stomach was protesting the flash movement, and she’s greeted by the sight of her best-loved aunt, which happened to be Aunty Bev. Six months into the pregnancy made Bev look bloated and tired, but her eyes lit up as soon as Alexa opened the door, bending down as best as she could to hug her back twice as hard. She’s alone, Ben had had a meeting over in Portland, and agreed to meet Bev here.

‘How’s my favorite girl doing?’ Bev asks with a huge smile on her face, her hand resting on the top of her belly softly rubbing up and down.

‘I’m okay’, Alexa insists, even though her face still looks a little pale. Eddie, who had joined the two of them at the front door, rolled his eyes begrudgingly. Insisting that she’s fine even though she isn’t must be a trait she picked up from Richie.

Staying silent however, he brings Bev into an embrace, an; ‘hey Bev’ falling from his lips in the process.

‘Richie’s out back, come in, I’ll go get him.’ Before Eddie has the chance, the next guests arrive, in the form of Patty and Stan. Stan was holding a stuffed animal, a bunny in his hands, smirking as if he already knew that he was going to be the ‘chosen’ one today.

Eddie laughs out loud, watching as his daughter’s eyes grow bigger and wide, and she excitedly begins the bounce up and down, seemingly forgetting about the sickness for a little while. In his mind, Eddie is already praising Stan, for the few moments of rest this allows his daughter to have. Sleep is nothing something that has come in large doses to her in the last two days, every single waking minute of the day being consumed with sitting next to a toilet bowl, and brushing her teeth afterwards.

Eddie also praises Stan for basically knocking down the competition before the rest of them even have a chance.

At two years old, Alexa figured out how to play her family like the harp she later maintained she wanted to practice, giving up after only two lessons. She used to go around the room and beg her uncles and aunt to play a game with her, any kind, and when they relented, the first person who did would be her go to person for the rest of the evening.

Endearing everyone’s heart, but also resulting in a rivalry, where many presents were tossed around, and Alexa was in danger of becoming a bit spoiled. Now at twelve, she’s stopped crowning anyone as her winner, yet the losers still arranges bets on her, as if their daughter is something to bet on.

It’s all in good fun of course, and Richie himself joins in on the gamble from time to time, but for whatever reason he never guesses correctly, but Eddie has a burning suspicion it has something to do with manipulating Stan to lose. Not that his schemes work, Stan is much too smart for that.

In rapid succession, Ben follows Stan and Patty, and after him Mike emerges, and finally Bill and Audra appear from the end of the streets. A loud and ugly snort forces its way out of Eddie, when he sees the exact some bear clutched to Bill’s chests, the annoying, cocky smirk on his face he mirrored from Stan, the same one that vanishes as soon as he steps through the door, and lays his eyes upon Alexa, clasping Stan’s gift.

Richie, who had since joined the rest of the group, could not contain his laughter, finding in Bill the perfect victim to tease throughout the entire night.

Rice and chicken were on the menu tonight, a light meal that was decided in light of Alexa, but nobody complained. Despite popular belief, Richie was a very good cook, and when he prepared any meal, it was guaranteed that it would taste delicious.

Alexa ate a bit, more than she had eaten in the last few days, and Eddie sighed a breath of relief. Years of conditioning that any sickness was going to get him killed did not disappear off the bat, so he was immensely glad his daughter was starting to feel better, even if he knew her ailment was not that serious to begin with.

After dinner, the group resides to the living room, watching a movie that Alexa had her mind set on viewing, and secretive adult talk concealed in a child appropriate package so she wouldn’t notice, making a way across each other. A normal reunion like any other.

At nine pm, unsurprisingly, Alexa got up from her seat. ‘I’m going to bed dad,’ she explains, her hand stroking Bev’s baby bump one last time, and then waving at everyone. The spot next to Beverly, the one that Alexa had claimed, so she could discuss her new best friend as she lovingly called the new baby that was yet to be burn, remains achingly open. A weird feeling creeps up the back of Eddie’s neck, ridiculously.

The losers club just doesn’t seem complete without her, even if she has only been there for twelve years. Her bedtime was around eight, but when they go on a trip, she is allowed to stay up as long she want, the fact that she turns in for the night so early, is a testimony to how bad she suffers.

Richie started to make his way up from the sofa too, ready to tuck her in, as he did every night, but she shook her head. ‘I can go to bed alone, Pops, don’t worry.’

She gave him a kiss on his cheek, and then scampered off to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Bill chocked on his drink in laughter when he saw the fallen look on Richie’s face, disappointment coating his expressions in a grey attire.

When he dejectedly resumed his place next to Eddie, the latter patted him on the arm in sympathy. ‘It’s just because there are others here Rich. You know how ashamed she gets of you.’ The smirk cannot be contained when the words leave his mouth, even though he means nothing but lies with them.

‘And they say my jokes suck? Spaghetti, come up with new and innovated humor, like mine. Thank god she’s got some of my qualities-‘

‘she’s adopted.’

‘- don’t interrupt me Eds that’s just bad manners. I’m so sorry your mom was to busy teaching me the way around her body to teach you how to be polite but-‘

‘Beep beep asshole.’ A murmur of agreement rose up from the group, Richie flipping them the bird.

‘Whatever, you losers have no taste at all.’

Deciding to check up on her after about fifteen minutes, Eddie settles back in his seat, joining in on the conversation to his right, where Ben and Stan discuss the different plants they have in their garden, listing a bunch of flowers Eddie will never know the meaning off.

The movie clutters on in the background, almost like a lullaby, and Eddie yawns significantly. Richie’s hand presses in the small of his back, a grounding warm signal that he was safe, even though he doesn’t mean too, he zones out, not asleep, but also not as awake as he should be.

That happens to be a mistake when he hears something slam on the floor above them, the sound of the toilet being flushed a second after. He makes eye contact with Richie, both of them realizing that that is probably the result of Alexa throwing up again.

‘Dad, Pops’, and then a loud bang, proceeded by a few thuds that can be relocated to their stairs, and a pained yell.

Richie and Eddie scramble up faster than they have ever done before, even more hurried than when Pennywise was chasing them in Neibolt. Stan, Bill and Bev scurry alongside them, to the place of the accident, every single one of them in a panicked haze.

It only takes a second to get there, in their haste, and no other sounds emerge anymore, until They run into the hallway.

Alexa is spread out across the bottom of the stairs, her arm bend in a weird position, her legs propped up as she looks around the space dazedly, as if she’s not sure what just happened.

Her faces goes through a couple of emotions, intensifying when she takes a look at her arm, but not yet crying.

Eddie is the first to reach her, and when she sees him, her lips open slightly and a wail falls out. It proves to him that she is in real, and agonizing pain. Back when she learned how to ride her bike for the first time, she had fallen many times, as kids do, but if she cried, Eddie refused to indulge her. He wouldn’t let leave or abandon her, but he would tell her that everything was fine, and that it only stung a little, and there was no need to cry.

He mostly did this to stop himself from becoming like his mother, and to allow Alexa to discover her own boundaries and which one hurt enough to actually ask help for. He never shamed her for crying either, he just tried to teach her the difference between actual pain, and being shocked from a fall. Ever since, is she saw Eddie walk towards her, her tears stopped if it barely stung, or begin to cry if help was needed.

Now she sobs, heavy and with snot, hiccuping to catch her breaths. It only takes a look to tell Eddie everything he needs to know, she is suffering from an open fracture. The bone is not stuck outside the skin, but the bump is visible from the outside, in the same way that his bone was when he broke his arm.

All previous training flies out the window when it’s his daughter that is the one who is harmed, nothing of the medical terms he surrounded himself with in his childhood sticking, like liquid dropping from his head.

He stands there, blankly as he gazes upon his daughters still laying form, until he gets pushed back by Bill. Richie too stands frozen, trembling from head to toe, but Bev and Stan launch into action, dropping down next to Alexa, each on opposites sides.

‘What do we do, what do we do?’ Richie inquires frantically, pushing against Bills hands, to get to her, trusting Eddie for guidement. Eddie subconsciously reaches for his inhaler, and curses once he remembers that he threw his placebo away.

‘Fuck, fuck, Eddie should we snap the bone back in? It worked last time right?’ Richie reflects Eddie’s frantic, ignoring Bill’s pleas to calm down, the cries of Alexa deafening their ears, and making their heartstrings cave in.

‘What? What the fuck asshole no. That was a terrible thing to do, and you were lucky that my arm got back to normal, are you fucking kidding me you absolute moron?’

He doesn’t mean to snap at his husband the way he does, but the mantra of; this is your fault, she’s going to die, get her to a hospital now, more careful, you should force her to be more safe, in a voice that sounds an awful lot likes his mother hisses in his mind. The panic is very nearly all consuming.

‘What the fuck was I supposed to do then huh Eds? I was fucking twelve.’ Their panic-stricken words grow louder and louder, until even Alexa’s cries of agony sound quieter than theirs, they’re so consumed with worry, being oblivious to notice what Beverly and Stan are so desperately trying to convey.

‘I don’t know, not that. And you’re 43 years old, by now you should now better dickwad.’

‘Stop it’, Bill yells in the same determined leader voice that lured them into the house on Neibolt street, effectively silencing them and focusing their attention on him.

‘Your daughter needs you right now, so shut up, and do what we ask you too okay. Richie get her cloths, Eddie retrieve anything she has that helps calm her down. Alright? Okay go.’

Richie hurries to get the car as fast he can, but Eddie hesitates when he gapes at Alexa. He doesn’t want to leave her without her parents. ‘Hey’, Bill places on of his hands on Eddie shoulder, ‘we’ll take care of her for a minute okay?’

Her cries have turned into loud whimpers, her face hidden behind Stan’s body, which stops her from seeing Eddie anyway. Bev is calmly shushing her, on the phone with what must be the hospital, carefully checking her arm. Stan is trying to distract her, his cardigan being discarded towards Bev, who uses is to carefully cover the injured arm.

It looks painful, and Eddie can’t stand to think of her in pain, so he too complies with Bill’s demands, searching for the plush toy she got as a gift, and her soft blanket that she sleeps with during the winter.

When he comes back, he hears the blaring sirens of the ambulance stop outside their door, and his stomach falls when he realizes that a few hours ago, Alexa was standing in that exact spot, excited for the night.

Audra and Patty lead the paramedics into the home, apparently they had been waiting outside to help, Patty grabbing Eddie’s arm to steady herself, and maybe even Eddie, who is swaying dangerously from side to side.

He’s been through all of this before, in a way, but that seemed somehow less scary than it is now. Back then, Eddie had been glad none of his friends got hurt, so it didn’t matter that he did. Now, it’s different, but if he could somehow switch places with Alexa, he would do so in a heartbeat.

They insert an IV line and administer pain relief, Eddie assumes, since his ears seem like they’ve been stuffed full of cotton. He vaguely registers Richie’s hand in his own, all his attention pointed to watching Alexa’s face for any discomfort.

She’s placed upon a trauma board, Stan and Ben aiding to help her jolts as minimal as possible, before they carry her to the ambulance as fast as humanly possible. Eddie hopes to god, something he hasn’t believed in since he started dating Richie, that the medicine she has received knock her out, just so she’s painless the rest of the ride.

‘Dad, pops’, she wails, extending her uninjured arm to reach for the both of them. Next to him, Richie cries too.

Eddie speed walks to be by her side, grabbing her hand and pressing a kiss to it. ‘It’s okay, sweetheart, you’re going to be fine.’ He can’t help the way his voice cracks as he tries to keep his own tears at bay.

Richie also hast himself to get to her, brushing away her tears as best he can, but new ones continue to leave wet rivers on her cheeks.

After consideration, Eddie says to Richie; ‘You need to go with her,’ his words lacking any really conviction.

Richie gazes up to him in surprise. ‘Eddie?’

‘I can’t be in there, in a hospital or ambulance, but I would feel so much better if you were with her.’ The trauma lingers around Eddie like a bad stench, and he hates himself for the fact that he can’t be with his daughter. He knows Richie will keep her safe though, so if he were to go with her, maybe the grip guilt has on him will loosen.

Richie says nothing and stares for just a split second, before one of the EMT’s says they need to hurry. Then he nods, climbing on board with Alexa, but pressing his lips against Eddie’s quickly before his does.

He’s trying to convey Eddie into believing everything will be okay, but Richie isn’t sure if he believes it himself.

They have to leave then, and Eddie stares as the ambulance disappears into the distance. When he can’t see it no longer, he allows himself five seconds, and he uses those five seconds to cry upon Mike’s sturdy statues the waterfalls flowing from his eyes like they’re a rives. He can sense the others coming closer, each laying a hand on a part of his body, their silent way of telling him they’re here for them.

He feels bad for making Richie having to be the one to hold it all together, since he can’t break down in front of Alexa, but Eddie honestly didn’t have any resolution left to sit in an ambulance.

When his five seconds are up, he begs someone to drive him to the hospital, ignoring his next door neighbor who comes to check up on the commotion that was happening.

He ends up driving with Stan and Patty, in the middle backseat, where he can feel their worried gazes on him. In his mind, he is trying to recall any information about what he had to go through with his arm, but all he really remembers is that he had to have surgery.

As predicted, that is the first thing Richie tells Eddie when he finally gets to the emergency room, Richie waiting near the entrance, his hands trembling when he reaches forward to pull Eddie against him in a tight hug.

‘She needs to have surgery Eds, you have to come quick. They’re about to put her under.’ Richie informs him when he pulls back, this time reaching for his hands and pulling him in the direction of the room Alexa is in. Eddie wants to say something to his friends, but he’s already whisked away, and he just figures he’ll tell them later.

Upon entering the room, Eddie can smell the disinfected in the room, the whole room is drenched in it, but he refuses to let it deter him, so he pulls through, pulling a chair to the side of the hospital bed, resting his hand on Alexa’s shoulder. Richie goes for her hand on her good arm, his thumb sweeping the back of her hand back and forth.

‘hey, honey, how are you?’

Alexa lets her head fall sideways, her eyes dropped with exhaustion, she hasn’t received any anesthetic, so Eddie assumes that it’s the adrenaline that has worked off.

‘I’m scared dad,’ she tells him truthfully, squeezing Richie’s hand tight while not looking him in the eyes.

‘It’s okay to be scared baby,’ Eddie soothes her, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead. ‘I had to same thing happen to me when I was little.’

Her lips tug upwards in a faint smile. ‘I know, pops told me.’

‘It wasn’t that scary anymore. Not when getting into the hospital. I just fell right asleep, and when I woke up, the pain was dulled.’

‘I’m not in so much pain right now though, can I not avoid the surgery?’ Eddie’s heart breaks once again, and he wishes so bad he could heed his daughter from this, but it has to happen, there’s no other option.

‘That’s cause you’re on a lot op pain medication kiddo, but as soon as they’re worn off, you’ll feel it again.’ Richie heavily admits, the lines on his face have turned more prominent, the night taking ten years of their lives away from them.

‘Like I said, you’ll just go to sleep, and when you wake up, we’ll be here.’ Eddie tries to convince her one last time, and with a heaved sigh, she relents.

Just in time, for the nurse sticks her head through the door, her smile apologetic.

‘Alexa Tozier-Kaspbrak? I’m sorry, but we really have to get her upstairs now.

‘You’ll be fine bucko, We won’t be fare okay?’

‘And remember we love you okay?’

‘I know dad, Pops, I love you too.’

When they wheel Alexa away in her hospital bag, the other losers wave at her from behind the glass door, sticking their thumbs up in good luck, while Alexa waves at them as best she can.

‘She’ll be okay’, Richie insists as he pulls Eddie close to him by the waist, pressing his nose in his hair to comfort himself.

‘I really hope so Rich, I’m scared.’

‘Don’t be Eds, she’s your kid, she’s so strong, this is just a minor setback. I love okay, we’ll get through this together.’

‘I love you too.’

Later, when Alexa is back in her room, falling asleep on her own this time, and Eddie watches Richie’s lanky from twist in half to rest his head on the bed, the rest of his body in an uncomfortable hospital chair just to be close to their daughter, he thanks whoever is listening that he got this family; He would never trade them for anything in the world.

He’s mumbling to the both of them, a stupid story about Richie and his childhood, because Alexa had once told him she slept best with some background noise. Twirling the same piece of hair over and over again, he presses another kiss to her head, thankful that’s okay.

He nearly thinks of his mother, and how much he would have loved to see her face if she ever saw him like this. Gay, married, with a child and in a hospital. But then he banishes her to the back of his mind. She is not worth any ounce of his thoughts.

Alexa shifts in her sleep, relaxing into the movements, and Eddie can’t do anything but mumble out in pure adoration; ‘I promise, I’ll never be like my mom, I love you and your pops too much for that.’

#reddie #reddie fluff #reddie with daughter #eddie with daughter #Richie with daughter #richie x daughter #reddie x daughter #My writing #it chapter two imagine #the loser club imagines

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sparklecarehospital · 4 years

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could you maybe ramble off some fun facts about the characters? i rlly love learning abt them and it calmz me down a lot 4 some reason.. if u dont have the energy its ok!!

You have NO IDEA how excited this ask makes me because I LOVE talking about everyone so here's some stuff about Uni and Barry!!! (Also don't worry about me not having energy this is like all I can talk about sometimes)!!!!!!

Barry:

Reads and writes fan fiction about Bingo Bongo Theory, has a crush on Shelldon (a tortoise) and gets mad if you call him a turtle. He actually likes writing a lot, but he's honestly TERRIBLE at it, using overly complex words and bad sentence structure. He thinks he's great and has fun though which is honestly really valid and good

His favorite flower is lavender

His favorite color is orange

Has vivid dreams, usually about situations he's in (like the hospital). He also dreams about people obsessively when he has feelings for them and it makes him really mad. He's had prophetic dreams and they make him really paranoid and it feeds into the fact he thinks he knows everything.

Actually very affectionate if you're close with him, he will give hugs to people if he trusts them but he struggles immensely with touching hands directly unless he trusts you more than anyone on the planet (so if he wants to hold hands with you he's probably deeply in love with you)

He likes 5980's music (which is 80s music on Earth) and is embarrassed about it because he feels it's not good for his Intellectual and Sophisticated Image.

He actually feels a lot of anxiety over some of his interests because he's worried about people thinking less of him.

Has a unicorn stuffed animal named Corny that he was given as a baby

Vegan!!! He doesn't like products that come from orbs.

LOVES when people actually listen to him infodump because it doesn't happen very often!!! He loves talking about science and different kinds of it, especially stuff like outer space and stars and constellations. It fascinates him endlessly and he wants to learn more about the universe

Favorite subject in school was science, still is

He doesn't like saying swear words and this means he won't call the Bitch Sea by its name. He calls it the Dog Sea instead

Uni:

His favorite colors are pink and green

Has a really specific nervous stim which is clenching his upper arm (either one, but usually the left). If he does this he's really nervous or anxious or upset, and it helps him feel better to kinda shield himself like that. (I draw him doing this a lot)

His favorite vegetable and food in general is carrots and anything of the carrot variety. But he doesn't liked canned carrots at all

Favorite flower is roses

Has an OC universe called the Glooneeverse that focuses on his OC named Gloo Mee and one named Sue Nee. Gloo is a cat who lives in a raincloud and cries constantly, and Sue is a dog that is happy and lives in a cloud house with sunshine constantly radiating from her. Gloo and Sue are OCs that Uni has had since elementary school that he used to make comic strips about. He has a lot of little comic books he's made over the years at the hospital about the two of them. He doesn't like sharing them though because he doubts his art a lot.

Always technically crying blood but when he ACTUALLY cries he gets it literally everywhere. He needs to wash things a lot because of getting blood on them (sometimes including Bearry). It's usually his pillow case or gown

He makes puppets of his friends and practices conversations with them whenever he's lonely or needs someone to talk to but doesn't wanna leave his room- which is actually most of the time, he only leaves to eat or go to club or OT. He doesn't loiter around like Carrie does because he's kinda introverted and gets anxious if he's out of his hospital room for too long.

Has really bad insomnia and sometimes passes out from lack of sleep. He takes meds for it but they don't really help. When he does sleep he usually has nightmares

He doesn't need his glasses to get around the hospital because he's memorized the layout, he only uses them when he's making art or gaming or something. He actually doesn't even know what some new patients look like outside of color because what little vision he has is blurry and dim. If he were to leave he'd be REALLY lost and need guidance by someone with good vision

Develops feelings for people really easily. If someone's nice to him he will probably get a crush on them (in the event that they are also a guy) but sometimes he just likes guys randomly. He's had a crush on most guys in the hospital at some point but most of them have faded or become less prominent/irrelevant. The feelings he gets are never very serious and he's actually never been genuinely in love with anybody before!!!!!!

Likes music that is upbeat and poppy and dancey, because it gets him inspired to make art. But he doesn't actually like to dance, just sit there and listen to the music

(almost forgot this really specific one) HAS A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE FEAR OF ALIENS. Literally horrible. Talk of aliens or UFO sightings makes him REALLY scared, and he hates sci-fi things that have aliens in them. He actually has nightmares about aliens a lot.

HATES horror movies and anything violent, like violent video games. He struggles with playing games where you have to kill enemies because he gets super sad about hurting them. He can play Orbemon though (Spinch Pokemon)

Regarding each other:

Uni is baby spoon when they cuddle

They like looking at the stars together

Barry likes to watch Uni draw and make art

Uni encourages and tries to help Barry improve his writing even if he struggles to comprehend what it says sometimes

They sometimes listen to music together

Uni likes watching top 10 list videos and will put on sciencey ones for Barry to watch with him. Barry really enjoys that!!!

When either of them have a nightmare they go to the other's bed and talk about it and hug it out and sometimes will sleep in the others bed if they're too scared to be alone even after talking about it

They actually like being together a lot. Uni felt really lonely before Barry came, and Barry didn't have a roommate at school either. Even when they're not talking they just enjoy knowing somebody is there if they need to talk

Sorry this took so long for me to write, I'm pretty sure I spent over an hour on it and it's not even everything I could say about them!!! Sorry if this fills anyone's dash idk how to do read more on mobile

#answers #long post #very long post #fun facts #aliens #aliens //#ufos #ufos //

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larryatendoftheday · 5 years

Text

Let’s correct some misinformation about Taylor Swift

a lot of people are blocked by this user so here’s a version of my response that you can reblog

rosesau ORIGINAL POST

not to rant but i will. when louis put out a song where he was making a point that was close to his heart, he did it thru just like you and he didnt fucking use that song to pander to anyone. he didnt have countless headlines abt it he didnt even have a music video for it he didnt release it as a single he just.. gave that song to us bc he wanted to say that to us. every fuckin time taylor saint swift has made a song abt smth ~important to her.. she’s always capitalized off of it in the most obnoxious way. she’s always just whining abt ppl not liking her. look what you made me do was abt her problems with literally Everyone who criticized her ever and she used her feud with kim and kanye to make that song get big. she even mockey kim k’s robbery in her music video. the song wasnt rlly abt her it wasnt her being genuine it was her finding smth to exploit and now with this new one if this is her “coming out” she’s exploiting pride and capitalizing off of something that is so important to so many of us. so many ppl say jly was a throwaway song bc “lol it wasnt even a single” but thats exactly the point lmao he wasnt trying to make money off of that song he wasnt trying to gain attention from that song he fought to have it out for us which is the exact opposite of what taylor does. bitchass white feminist who stayed silent during one of the most critical election seasons in a while, attemped to sue a woc who wrote on her own personal blog that taylor’s reputation era was feuling the altright fans and she should denounce white supremacy, and only encouraged ppl to vote for the “right” person when it was time for her to release more music. choke sweetie.

tswiftisgay aka MY RESPONSE from my other blog

Ok so you have misrepresented some stuff. I’m tired of Taylor bashing. Critique I get. But let’s get some facts straight.

Her first major political statement was not when she was releasing new music. It was in October last year before the November election. That’s when Trump said he liked her music 25% less. She had nothing coming out anytime soon when she did that.

Louis has a consistently terrible team that has only just started to improve. Do you really think he wouldn’t have marketed Just Like You more if he could have? It’s a good song, and it has important content that the general public should hear too. Don’t make his team’s failure into something honorable.

I used to be critical of Taylor for not speaking up sooner about politics, but I realized that being political when you are quite as big as Taylor is extremely risky, especially coming from a country fan foundation. Plus she was “cancelled” anyway. What would her voice have done for the mess of the 2016 election? And after that during the Rep era, she gave LOUD pride speeches early on in her tour. She did a lot that pretty clearly demonstrated she was NOT supportive of the alt right. Anyone who really wanted to know could have seen that. So of course she sued the woman saying she was alt right. I’m not saying I like it, but if you are not a nazi and someone called you one, wouldn’t you want them to stop? I wish she had used different methods, but again, what would have worked? I’m not sure there is something that would have convinced this woman to change her tune.

When she did speak up last October, she explained that the absolutely horrible political events of the past few years had made her want to speak up. “In the past I’ve been reluctant to publicly voice my political opinions, but due to several events in my life and in the world in the past two years, I feel very differently about that now.” Think of how you have changed over the past few years. We have all become more aware of our role and responsibility. We have all grown louder and more aware. Why can’t Taylor also have grown and learned?

In an essay in Elle earlier this year she elaborated on that. “Only as someone approaching 30 did I feel informed enough to speak about it to my 114 million followers. Invoking racism and provoking fear through thinly veiled messaging is not what I want from our leaders, and I realized that it actually is my responsibility to use my influence against that disgusting rhetoric.” Waiting to find your voice when you have this big a platform seems pretty solid to me.

Taylor isn’t a white feminist. In her October post she said, “I believe that the systemic racism we still see in this country towards people of color is terrifying, sickening and prevalent.” She also made a point of protesting a lack of laws about domestic abuse which unfortunately disproportionately effects women of color and trans women of color. She has pointedly included and celebrated women of color in her tours. On Rep tour the women dancers–many of color–all were introduced and given a moment just for them as part of the song Gorgeous. She has spoken about racism and I expect to see her continue to do so during this next election cycle.

Taylor did not mock Kim K’s robbery in the music video. I see how you could interpret it that way, because there was a robbing scene and a ring prominently displayed but that was in reference to a lot of Swiftie fan theories that she was engaged and the larger feeling of being attacked and dragged aka robbed. There were references to Kim but that was not one. Taylor is a women with stalkers who has her house broken into regularly. She of all people wouldn’t joke about that.

Last but not least, Taylor is pairing her new music with advocacy DESPITE the fact that it has turned away many of her old country fans or older Republican fans. She is also on her way out of the closet, which would make it much easier for others in the music industry to come out. Ahem. Harry and Louis.

So I have to ask that you stop spreading misinformation and stop hating on a woman who is changing the music industry by forcing streaming services to pay artists fairly and now–on her coming out journey. She donates to charity. She advocates for politicians and policies that could improve or even save lives. She is using her platform for good. Stop hating.

Or I guess I should just say… don’t step on her gown. You need to calm down.

TLDR: Larries are often so uninformed and nasty about Taylor. She didn’t speak up about politics for a long time, but when she started it was not near any new content from her. She is queer anyway. She's been very misunderstood by her own community.

Please reach out to me with questions. I would love to help rectify this unfortunate sentiment in the fandom.

#haylor #taylor swift #mine #larry stylinson #discourse

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spacequokka · 4 years

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hah.. my exams are next week and i just wanted someone to talk to... i was wondering what should one do if they lose motivation in school? i’ve never liked the courses i took this sem and it’s come to a point where i don’t rlly care about my grades anymore... it scares me cos it makes me think “am i really that weak to give up on something mandatory?” or “will i always act like this when i’m not passionate abt something?” i just want to get it over with :( sorry for ranting :(

You don’t have to apologize. In fact, I’m honored you felt comfortable enough to open up. *hugs*

Losing motivation to do something really sucks (I go through it regularly) but the trick is realizing that more often than not you never really feel like doing stressful, difficult, or seemingly pointless tasks. Ever. Unless there’s something in it for you. So how do you make yourself want to do these things? You got two choices. You can either trick yourself into caring or rely on a coping tactic that spurs you into action.

By tricking yourself, I mean coming up with reasoning that’s sound and makes whatever you’re doing relevant to your future, short- or long-term. For example, I’m taking Television Writing this month. As a novelist, I have no interest in writing scripts, but I have to do it to graduate this year. I tell myself that it isn’t about the scripts. It’s about learning the writing techniques to improve my storytelling, make my stories stronger. It helps to see what’s in it for you, especially when you don’t like the subject or task.

Otherwise, be a rocket ship. Seriously. If you have trouble starting important tasks related to the difficult thing, like studying for the exam, count down to blast off. 5-4-3-2-1, go! I learned this neat trick from Mel Robbins that works from the simplest things like getting out of bed to planning and outlining a full fanfic. Instead of relying on being motivated to do the thing, you control your mind and the situation by setting off the spark. 5-4-3-2-1, pull out the textbook. 5-4-3-2-1, pull out your notes. Set a timer for 25 minutes and study the first section of your notes. Then take a 5-minute break. You can use that same trick to eat a good breakfast and shower, get there on time. You know, the things you can’t bring yourself to do because you don’t care for the courses.

But, I have good news. When you get through these exams, you’ll be closer (if not done) to the finish line. You’ll be closer to getting this crappy part of school over with and onto the next thing that you may find easier to care about.

The most important thing I have to say is it’s okay to not feel like caring about things you normally find important. In school, it’s called burn out. School and work applies near-constant pressure and stress. It’s a constant demand and your brain is wired to protect you from excessive stress because that state of mind hurts the body. When you find yourself burned out, you have to reset yourself. Kinda like turning something off and holding the power button for 30 seconds. You take a step back and do something to take your mind off the thing for a set period of time. I usually go for 30 minutes to an hour of something like gaming, reading, or drawing. Something unrelated that lets your brain do a quick reset so you can get a fresh perspective and can come up with a new game plan. In fact, there’s a whole video on resetting your mind.

TL;DR--If you lose motivation, try different tactics to push yourself to keep going. You only need 15 minutes to get into a task and stick to it. School boils down to time: everything you do will take a certain length of time to do it and then it's over. Losing the ability to care about your grades directly relates with the lost of interest in your work and performance, so use those tactics to get through it as quickly as possible while reminding yourself that while these classes--this semester--sucks, it won’t last forever. I pinky promise. You’re not weak because you haven’t given up. Proof of that is reaching out to talk about it. You still care, just not as much as you think you should. Chances are you might react this way to other things that disinterest you, and that’s okay. It’s a human reaction. All you have to do is tweak the way you look at it. Maybe it isn’t a boring, irrelevant class that impedes your goals but more of a side quest to get a weapon you’ll need for the main story. Imagine getting through this semester and being able to curb-stomp a future class because of some seemingly small bit of info you learned now.

Stop. Pause. Breathe. Cry if you must.

But keep going.

#asks #i can go on forever #mental health is my thing #self care is important #you can come to me any time about anything #let me know how it goes <3

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anarcho-decepticonism · 4 years

Text

we fixed hsm

here are our 3 page fanfic plans

Troy & gabriella break up after like a month in college. Gabriella is around people smarter than her for the first time in her life & she’s really struggling & he doesn’t understand what she’s going thru & she realizes that he’s not that empathetic & bad at communicating. She’s single for like a year just adjusting to college & making new friends & figuring out who she is after hs & also not putting her entire identity in her intelligence. She tries out for theater & they’re like “you’re not that good at singing” & she’s like “never mind” bc she liked it because it was with her friends in the first place. She finds community elsewhere & eventually is in a more fulfilling & communicative & mature relationship

Troy is having a lot of trouble bc being a student athlete isn’t enough at FUCKING BERKELEY!!! And he’s having trouble at school. He also isn’t getting lead roles in the theater program bc it’s like. A hobby as opposed to his major/career path. He has to learn to like things without being the best at them & also communicate w people better. He’s no longer super special and the focal point of everything. He immediately tries to rebound by getting a new gf & she realizes right away that he just wants her to love him and pay attention to him and solve his problems and is like “fuck that dude go to therapy”. He goes to the school therapist which sucks but he finds a good therapist & like. Improves as a person lol. He has to think more abt the experiences of others and not need to have everyone love him all the time. He gets a dog -- good for him bc he has to be responsible for the life of something else but also dogs are very affectionate

Sharpay goes to UA & at first loves it bc she’s the star but then is super underwhelmed & depressed. She talks to Ryan and he’s like “you know you can just transfer” and she’s like “wow i’m so smart i’ll just transfer”. After like a semester she transfers to a different school with a good theater program (not Juliard tho). She has a good mentor figure who’s a prof who’s like “your ambition and drive are good things actually especially bc ur a woman and will be told that ur awful & bossy for standing up for yourself.” she makes her first real friend other than her brother (i am So sad) in a theater class-- not someone who worships her but like an actual human connection. Specifically a girl who she respects & doesn’t feel she has to compete with. She has a learning moment when her friend gets the lead role and Sharpay is genuinely proud of her and she realizes she wouldn’t have been suited to that part and that she doesn’t have to be the center of attention all the time. She learns to derive self worth from her love of theater instead of from everyone validating her. Also her friend is goth & tells her that all the pink she wears is bad. They both initially loved the theater bc they wanted to be accepted but learn together that they can just find worth in each other and themselves and their work. Also at one point Sharpay starts dating someone and gets really annoying and her friend is like “you’re being annoying” and they get in a fight and Sharpay is like “i don’t even like him that much but i feel like i have to be in a huge romance relationship (bc of troy and gabriella but also Society)” and this eventually leads to her realizing that she’s a lesbian and also that she has an unhealthy view of relatioships. She goes to therapy (it takes her a really long time to go but once she realizes she gets to talk abt herself she is more willing). Important that she does not date her friend (her emotional support system) but she does eventually get a gf. It takes her a long time to figure out how to be a good girlfriend and that her professional ambitions are different than her personal ambitions (she’s used to treating her relationships like a business instead of a two-sided thing where there needs to be emotional connection and both people being like vulnerable w each other)

Her and Ryan having space from each other where he can shine by himself and she feels like she doesn’t have to upstage him all the time. He feels for a long time that he can’t rely on her bc she’s a mess but eventually he texts her like 16 times in a row abt a person in his program he’s really annoyed at and she’s like “oh my god he’s ruining your show you Have to talk to the director!!!!” and it’s really helpful to just talk it out w her even if he doesn’t take her advice. It’s helpful for him to realize that it is a problem and he’s not overreacting but also that he should not take things to the extremes that Sharpay does lol. He should not poison this person. They eventually fall into a good & more balanced sibling relationship where they can rely on each other for a certain subset of things but they aren’t the only people in each others’ lives

Ryan meets other gay guys at Juliard who tell him that his hats are bad and show him how to dress not like an idiot. They’re like “it’s ok buddy. I know you were the only out guy at your high school but you don’t need to do that”. He’ll like. Do fine in college! He’s like fairly confident in his abilities and identity & good at like. Balancing career & personal life. He’s fine enough at school and doing well in his theater things. He’s charismatic and makes more good friends. He “formally comes out” to his parents in like a big thing. He choreographs it and makes Kelsey write him a song to sing. His parents are like “well we knew that but did you have to make it this much of a thing” and he’s like “yes”. His mom is generally more accepting than his dad and his dad is like “please don’t talk about this to the people at the country club” and he’s like “i… wasn’t? I don’t know these people. They’re your friends”

After college Ryan gets famous before Sharpay does and generally has a good thing going wrt doing choreography for “really important things” (he isn’t public facing)-- he’s good at choreo and also good at working with divas (thanks Sharpay i love u). He gets Sharpay a good role in a thing but he makes a big deal like “I got you an audition i didn’t get u the part u did it all yourself :)” but he totally got her the part lol in that he recommended her. She does a rlly good job tho (obvs) and does well in the spotlight bc she;s actually like. Hardworking and driven and good at musical theater. Her Big Break is in like a movie adaptation of a musical. She’s Glinda when they finally make a Wicked movie. The choreography is really good bc Ryan does it

Taylor tries to become a politician but slowly realizes that her passion for being an activist doesn’t super align with that and figures out that she wants to enact social change without like. Being a part of the system. She has a youtube channel where she talks about social issues and wears her stupid sweater vests & ties. Also she dates someone who likes women. Before she was invested in the public-facing aspect of the relationship and she learns what it means to actually have private moments of caring & how to not follow a stereotypical relationship and instead to do like. What she actually wants to. She’s bi and she dates a woman and enjoys not having societal expectations wrt how relationships are supposed to go. She dates a guy and realizes that a m/f relationship also doesn’t have to conform to societal expectations. Both are super important experiences for her even if neither are “endgame” (i love u matty)

Chad is heartbroken after Troy goes to a different school but tries to hide it/is in denial. He kind of lashes out at people who want to make friends with him and goes into a depression spiral. He eventually snaps out of it when Sharpay (who is still going to UA at this point) is like “what’s your problem?? Anyway i started going to therapy and it helped actually. Toodles!” and he’s like “what the fuck just happened” but he makes an appointment. The first session he’s like “hwatever this is stupid idk why i’m here. Whatever” and the therapist is like “yeah. Okay.” but he eventually opens up and then like. Learns to see himself as not part of a friendship or group/team and see himself as an individual. He gets over Troy, which takes him a while but he does it & we’re proud of him <3 it also takes a while to make friends who he can be emotionally vulnerable around bc he’s never really had that type of relationship before (bc he and troy are very guys being dudes & he like. Wasn’t super close w Taylor as they were p much just a relationship for show). He makes friends w both some guys and girls who aren’t all on the basketball team and has friends from lots of different places. This process takes him like. All of college.

Chad doesn’t date anyone in college and afterwards it’s super awkward bc it’s like the first time he’s actually dating someone. He ran into Ryan and they have a talk where Ryan’s like “you could’ve been my first love but you were never really emotionally available bc u were in love w a straight guy and also not confident in the fact that u are gay. Like that summer was fun but it wasn’t real” and chad is like “oh”. Ryan was like in a serious relationship at that point but didn’t mention it bc he didn’t want to feel like he was rubbing it in lol. And then Chad thinks about things. This is like during a Thanksgiving break while still in college. Chad eventually dates a guy who understands how it’s like. Hard to be gay and figuring out relationships and stuff at different life stages.

Kelsey gets negative feedback for the first time and freaks out but eventually learns that a prof who only gives positive feedback when she deserves it is good actually. She incorporates criticism and starts to write songs that don’t suck. She continues to wear awful outfits. She has a nice girlfriend who also wears awful outfits. They are an awful annoying couple but they’re happy. They do annoying theater kid things

Ms Darbus realizes that it’s bad to force her students to completely write & choreograph their own shows and stops pouring her entire life into high school theater and fixes her problems with her “legal domestic partner” whom she was feuding with

Zeke realizes that he likes Sharpay in the same way he likes celebrities and that isn’t a crush. He makes plenty of friends in college bc everyone loves a guy who brings baked goods to places. He continues doing basketball & baking as hobbies but neither is a career & he finds passion elsewhere. He loves doing whatever he’s currently doing but doesn’t have like a Thing he wants to do forever and it takes him a while to find a forever career. He ends up teaching a variety of classes at community college and is happy doing that but also he might not do that forever. He comes to terms with his “contentment w the transience of life” and is like “if i’m happy doing what i’m doing now then that’s good enough for now”. He serves as a good contrast to all of the super driven people who know exactly where they want to be (gabriella, sharpay, ryan)

We did it. we fixed high school musical

#when things are quoted it's bc matty said them out loud :)#txt #hsm

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mirajcnks · 5 years

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ah hello everyone !!! i’m jules and wowow i am so excite 2 meet u all and interact w all of ur dope charas :’) this is my Messy intro where im gonn a scream abt mira!! ok thank u for reading if u got this far jsdjfh

[ & ; * - cindy kimberly / pansexual / she/her ] isn’t it weird how close { amira 'mira' jenkins } resembles {cindy kimberly }? damn, i heard they are a { twenty } year old { undergraduate } and a member of { delta psi delta } studying { nursing }. outside of class { mira } participates in { soccer, photography & art} and their party anthem is { good as hell } by { lizzo }.

amira was born on January 1, 1999 in Kona, Hawaii. she is actually the first baby born in the new year in Hawaii. her parents, dane and stella jenkins, were high school sweethearts & only 20-year-olds at the time of the birth of their daughter.

her younger years were great, her parents spoiled her by taking her on trips and buying her whatever she would want. they treated her like a princess and soon anought she sorta turned into one.

but unfortunately when mira was 10 years old, her parents had filed for divorce and were currently fighting over who would she would live with. ultimately, amira’s father got custody of her during the week and she would visit her mother on weekends.

dane jenkins, her father, is the co-owner of jenkin bros industries, which is a construction company. dane & his brother inherited it from their father and now run the business together. after the divorce, dane turned into quite the workaholic but still made time for his daughter

stella jenkins was a college student at the time, in which she decided she would drop out of school to become a full-time mother. during her time with dane she remained a stay at home mother but once they got divorced she started taking to online classes to finish getting her degree in social work.

she prefers to go by ‘mira’ instead of amira & will def give you the evil eye and a lil attitude if you call her by that. amira only allows close friends & family to call her that!

amira is daddy’s little girl & she wouldn’t have it any other way. her father treats her with everything she wants & give her all the money she wants to make up for not being home as much as he should. obvi one she will stop taking advantage of it but she is going to enjoy it while it last.

amira’s relationship didn’t really get much better after the divorce. sometimes she wouldn’t even go to her mom’s house on the weekend bc she was “busy.” eventually amira found out the truth, her mother had cheated on her father and was seeing some other guy instead of hanging out with her. what made it worse was she found out that he had a son, it made her feel as if her own mother would rather spend time with her son. amira never let her mother know that and still holds it against her till this day.

growing up with a decent amount of money had it pros and cons on mira as she grew up. she has grown to have a very luxurious taste. always has to the best of everything lol

ever since amira was younger she was always very bubbly and outgoing. she was actually vry into school bc she would get to see her friends.

she wasn’t a bad student, getting some A’s but mostly B’s but she really didn’t mind. she knew she couldn’t be the best at everything but at least she tried her hardest.

when amira started high school, her grades did improve but she herself got wilder. she was the biggest partier & pothead in the high school she attended. but no matter how wild she was, she kept up her grades & eventually made it to the honor roll.

also during high school, amira got really into creating art, whether it be painting, drawing or taking photographs. she also joined the soccer team to keep her busy but mostly to look good on her college application lmao

in her senior year of high school, amira decided to take a risk and apply to college she dreamed of going to, yale, doubting they would every accept her. but quite to her surprise, she was issued a half a scholarship at yale. she also turned out to be the valedictorian of her graduating class.

it broke her heart to leave her family. mostly her dad, in Hawaii but she wanted to pursue her dreams and she knew that they have her back no matter what happens

in her freshman year amira didn’t know what she wanted to do until she took some biology & anatomy classes & realized that she wanted to be in the medical field, ultimately deciding on nursing as her major

amira also continued to play soccer in her college career & joined the photography & art club to help her mind stay focused throughout the year.

amira also rushed the delta psi delta sorority & decided to join when they offered it her. at the beginning she thought it would be a waste of time but she fell in love with her sisters & couldn’t imagine not being in the house with them.

ANyways i’m totally rambling rn so i shall stop her and move on to the next thing !!

PERSONALITY

she paints liKE ALOT !!; usually having something to do with the landscapes or people or flowers bc those are all her fav things. she does draw as well but prefers to paint. amira also has a passion for photography & often paints some of her own photographs

she’s vry protective of her friends and of herself

even though she is protective af she is very open to new people in her life! never wants ANYONE to feel left out when they around her.

she def puts up a front when sharing stuff about herself and her emotions unless she rlly trusts you

she likes to think she is badass as fuck but in reality, she is loser lmao!! ( laughs at her own joke)

speaking of jokes lbr, she pretty funny and sarcastic so she isn’t the only one laughing

however sweet she seems, she can also be very manipulative when she wants to be. knowing she can bat her eyelashes and get the world.!!

she tends to try to avoid most direct confrontation even though she’s really good in social situations and appealing to people uwu

always thinking, always learning, always caring

an actual flower

loves tattoos but only has like two!!

she looks at life in terms of opportunities and has lots of wishes and goals !!

she wants to live a vry luxurious life when older even though she is now. but she wants to be able to say she earned it herself

vry romantically compulsive which can be a problem lol!!

she constantly longs for partnership; whether it’s romantic or not

when it comes to money, she can be frivolous in her spending habits one day, and frugal the next

she is a problem-solver and will spend a lot of time helping others solve problems if needed

v good at talking and well-liked

while her spirit’s lively, it is also cunning & she often acts without thinking, throwing herself into things

loves to party obvs !!! tries to go out every single night bc why tf not lmaoo

honestly she is the life of the party. whenever the party is dying down or just getting started she is the first one on the dance floor. or she is walking around making people take shots with her

she is also very open about smoking pot and is def down to try other shit even though she hasnt been offered it yet

she doesn’t have a good sense of organization but she loves life and all it has to offer <3

but some cool ass plot i’d like to see is GIRL SQUAAAD, best friend, high school friends, exes, rommie, enemies, fwbs!! , party buddies or literally ANYTHING THAT SMELLS LIKE DRAMA and just anything bc i’m plot trash!!!

#yale:intro #just drippy droppin this here before i knock tf out #i shall be on mobile during the day tomrrow #so like or slide into the dms to plot #:~) <3 #this is so long im srry omf

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