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ninetwelves · 8 months

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my mom is bit unsocialized when it comes to some world problems and DEF when it comes to pop culture (the social problems has it pros and cons and all pros to the pop culture stuff) and she unfortunately encountered some strong black conservative viewpoints from a coworker of hers (i say black specific bc shes doing the whole “white people are trying ti make black people gay just pure out of touch bs” which im not fully equipped to go THATTT deep into that topics and only something i can understand just surface level upon being edgucated on it but to explain it theres right wing views in every community and its jusr really sad and hypocritical when minorities are right wingers bc they really do themselves disservices and leave out ppl who intersect in idenity from their acrivism and anyone who leaves out any minority group isnt left wing and minorities who are right wing just range from derranged and selfish if intentional and self aware, to out of touch if not

bc she was venting about this problematic worker at her workplace she has (shes on sick leave and im helping her out bc she physically cant keep up w her life rn) and i was hnnggg god im so sorry u have to listen to that

and i use problematic in a correct way here bc shes really shitty to the patients they help ugh :/

ALSO EXTRA IMPORTANT POINT

theres no need to dive that deep into like black community discourse if ur not black so many nonblack ppl and esp white ppl go so overboard and misunderstand it bc of their lack of experience and really poison the in community discourse by being racist jdbjdndnd just up this is a specific incident my unsocialized mom had to witness and was very confused about and thankfully ppl edgcuated me on it n talked to me about it but in so many cases theres no need to dive deep into it

like for example as a white person saying “BLACK PEOPLE!!!! STOP BEING HOMOPHOBIC!!!!!!!!!” ur genuinely gonna mess up the discourse bc in this world singling out black ppl to be the sole oppressors w out context n shit towards queer people is just cknfkd dangerous as fuck its so fucking dangerous it gives white conservarives an excuse to demonize black people, it makes black conservatives go OH LOOK BEING GAY IS RACIST THE GAYS R RACIST (which white gays this proves part of the big racism problem, u still are white before ur gay in this white supremecist world we live in its context we live in a white supremecist racist anti black world that is the context) but that feeds into some homophobic black conersertive points that HURT QUEER BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! u are not the sole victim of the within black community discourse, actually ur likely just not the victim at all!!! esp when u do this shit online for these movements to fucking black it’s irresponsible and stupid at best and racist at worst or maybe its all of the above always idk ive seen this happen hear from one white queer person to other white queer people stop fucking doing this its creating so many problems u think ur “fixing”

also similar to why slurs get reclaimed who says it…truely can make a fucking difference that pov is so important idk why yall just…cant think sometimes….

and this goes towards any white person w some minority status but its absolutely huge w white queer people like god….

#and ik theres absolutely a racism problem among white leftists but im exclusionary if youre racist or anythign bigoted fully u are #absolutely not leftwing!!!!!!!!!#and just keep reevlauting and edgucating urself on social problems systemtic problems and how ur interactions w the world affect that #BINGO

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seemeafterschool0000 · 8 months

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So theres this thing thats been hanging in the bacl of my mind that the general members on Gen z especially the teen z refuse to recognize is the repitition of the habits that gen x and the boomers have. What is it? the deep rooted need to be the same as everyone and the bullying and entitlement. I dont mean like the down right bigotry of the old gens but i mean the absolute lack of empathy and thinking of the feelings of others. Gen z is noutorious for our nihlistic thinking due to the reprocutions of 9/11 and the economic crises of the last decade, that started with the milenials and spread to gen z: but that way of acting and going about things is starting and has been really fucking up other gen zers' lives. This happens especially with centrist thinking and rightwing leaning individuals that have no knowledge of what real political, ethic debate is. Instead, they latch on to their ideas and use things that are very much opinions with no real fact based narratives to shame and inferiorize and oppress other gen zers that to them are cringey or weird neurodivergent or even just leftwing leaning. I'm going to make a post about some things that have been happening which is the reason im even writing about this; it'll be in a few hours probably.

#antifascism #eat the rich #corrupt school system #leftwing gen z #politics #fuck the rich #i absolutely hate rightwing genz

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femsolid · 5 months

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The documentary showed footage of Depardieu on a trip to North Korea in 2018 to mark the secretive state’s 70th anniversary. The actor, who had travelled to Pyongyang with a TV crew and knew he was being filmed, made obscene comments to women, and about women, repeatedly sexually harassed a female translator and made sexual comments about a child at an equestrian centre whom he saw riding a horse. On Friday, the footage was described by the leftwing member of the European parliament Manon Aubry as “vile”.

So to be more precise since I've seen the footage and I speak french, big trigger warning, Depardieu is looking at a 10 years old korean girl riding a horse and explains that "women love riding horses because they rub their clitoris on it, they cum a lot, the women who ride horses are big whores". Talking about the girl he says "if the horse starts running she'll cum" and the young girl turns towards him and he laughs "yeah, that's right my little girl, keep it up, see how she's rubbing it?". He tells another korean woman (I think she's his interpretor) 'why aren't you riding? It feels good!" before looking her up and down making grunting noises. He later tells her "I want to become a horse to rub against your pussy, you'll scream "my pussy!"". Obviously the north korean people around him can't understand what he's saying and the interpretor is very uncomfortable and confused. Then he's sitting to take pictures with some people, including a korean woman, and he says "go ahead, take the picture while I touch your ass, and your little mussel that must be very hairy and already smelling like a mare." At the hospital a nurse is next to him and he makes grunting noises again. He gives his weight to the interpretor before grabbing her shoulder, she steps back but he presses on and says "that's because I don't have an erection, I weigh more with an erection". Then he's at the airport with the interpretor and he tells her in french "you're gonna go take your shower and you'll be thinking of me", she doesn't understand so he mimicks taking a shower singing and she laughs. He looks at the documentary crew and starts laughing at her and says "her little pussy" before leaving and she's left confused as to what happened. Then his interpretor tries to explain to him the architecture and tells him in french that it's all made of wood, he responds "yes, wood, like my cock" but she doesn't understand, he adds "I've got a wooden plank in my boxers right now, but..." then he looks at the documentary crew and laughs at the fact that she didn't understand again. I mean it's endless, literally any time a woman is around he talks about her genitals and what he wants to do to her using absolutely revolting language that's hard to translate in english. And the poor interpretor, she's so sweet and polite, she took the time to learn french only to be confused by a litany of misogynistic slurs and degradation by a man who tries to humiliate her on purpose.

Depardieu is currently under investigations for multiple rapes, so he wrote an open letter stating that he had never abused a woman in his life, that it would be "like kicking my mother in the stomach", yes again the "I'm not sexist I love my mom" mantra. Yet we have here several instances of sexual harassement that took place in a matter of weeks and on camera without any shame.

Yann Moix, the author of the documentary was happy with it and wanted to do another one, but in the end the documentary never came out and the footage we're seeing has been published without his consent, which made him angry. But hey, you might remember Yann Moix because he made headlines too in 2019:

Moix, the author of several prize-winning novels, added that women in their 50s were “invisible” to him. “I prefer younger women’s bodies, that’s all. End of. The body of a 25-year-old woman is extraordinary. The body of a woman of 50 is not extraordinary at all,” he said, adding that he preferred to date Asian women, particularly Koreans, Chinese and Japanese. “It’s perhaps sad and reductive for the women I go out with but the Asian type is sufficiently rich, large and infinite for me not to be ashamed.”

So, a man who has a fetish on asian girls, probably a user of prostitution, went to an asian dictatorship with a fellow rapist where they sexually harassed women and girls. I also remember Yann Moix saying on TV that Michael Jackson could not possibly have raped a kid because he was a kid himself (in his head or something).

Back to Depardieu:

The documentary also interviewed the actress Charlotte Arnould, who went to the police five years ago, accusing Depardieu of rape and sexual assault on two occasions at his home in Paris in 2018, when she was 22 and Depardieu, a friend of her father, was 70. Depardieu was placed under formal investigation for alleged rape and sexual assault in the case in December 2020. Depardieu’s lawyers have denied all allegations against him. Arnould told the documentary that she had been anorexic at the time of the alleged attack and it had been “absolute horror”. In Thursday’s documentary, the actress Sarah Brooks, who appeared in a TV series with Depardieu in 2015, alleged that one day, while the actors were standing for a photo, he had repeatedly forced his hand into her shorts, despite her repeatedly pushing him off. When she protested to those TV crew around her that Depardieu had put his hands in her shorts, she claims the star replied: “I thought you wanted to succeed in cinema,” and everyone laughed.

And let's remind ourselves that Depardieu admitted to raping girls during his youth. Yes he literally said so to a TIME reporter in 1978 "I had plenty of rapes, too many to count." Asked if he had participated in rapes, Depardieu said yes. "But it was absolutely normal in those circumstances," he added. Depardieu later denied making the statements and threatened a libel suit against TIME and any news organization that reprinted them. "It is perhaps accurate to say that I had sexual experiences at an early age," the actor said in a statement. "But rape -- never. I respect women too much." The statements were on tape so he definitely said that and that's why his threats were ignored. And in any case, he said the same thing to french men's magazine Lui: he said he participated in gang rapes: "we raped a lot of girls with my buddies, but I would always go last because I was the youngest. The girl would say "go on, let's end this I can't take this any longer."" This has all been known since the 70s. While in the USA they tried to boycott him after that, nothing happened in France. He was born in 1948 so he's been raping women and girls for around 60 years and is only now being investigated for a couple of them.

#Depardieu #rape #media #tw rape #france

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imaginedrago-ss · 24 days

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most insane things ive heard my favourite leftwing professor say 2 a class full of americoids

5. the word caste comes from the portuguese casta, there is no word in indian languages that directly translates to caste. "hindu law" was written by sir william jones w the help of local brahmins, and many scholars say that that is when caste discrimination was established in south asia

4. now the belgians are enjoying everything they plundered from congo, and like to think of themselves as a civilized nation that supports human rights, and so they are making the chinese run the child labour mines in the drc for them

3. ukraine and russia have a shared history being part of the ussr, the strong bond between the 2 nations, can be seen in the existence of many russian speakers in ukraine. in many ways, the west is responsible for fall of the ussr, and for this violent invasion taht came as a result of that

2. the united states calls itself a beacon of diversity, but hundreds of trans people are killed every year. meanwhile, in other societies like india and iran transgender people are widely accepted

1. the separation of church & state has historically always been a european problem, it is not a problem for the muslim world, not really

once again these absolute pearls of ideas come from my favourite left wing humanities professor, i rlly dont want 2 know what right wing academics r saying jesus christ

#tge fjucked up thing is when i argue w him afterwards hes like well yeag dragos u r right but these r americans theyve been taught 2 see #america as good szo i have 2 teach them 2 question taht #ok? sory for believing taht evry1 can b trusted w tge truth ig #after tge ukraine thing specifically he cld tell i was still very angry even after talking 2 him abt it szo he wrote me an email 2 reassure #me taht he actually agrees w me 💀

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ikram1909 · 7 months

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i feel like xavi really has a soft spot for gavi like that's his son fr 🥺❤ and he won't allow anyone to doubt his talent and importance for the team! whilst he didn't really use gavi the best way possible in the second half of last season (and that also annoyed me) he def values gavi a lot and wants him to become the best possible version of himself. the way he always calls him up to pass on his instructions and calls him the soul and heart of the team 😭💞 he already sees him as a leader on the pitch despite his age and probably also sees himself in gavi in a way 🥲 dad and son fr fr ❤

I've said it before but Gavi is literally his mini me 😭😭😭 they're so similar so it makes sense that he clearly loves and dotes on him. Also imagine being a manager in charge of the club he loved his entire life and you find a player so young yet so passionate and dedicated to said club. A kid willing to literally bleed for his club and on top of it he's super talented and plays in the position you used to play and were the very fucking best at it. And as if all that wasn't enough, he also quickly became the glue that brings all the players together and is the dressing room's darling because he's just so easy to love. And on top of it, you can put him anywhere on the field and he'd never complain about it he'll just get out there and give his all. He's literally every manager's dream player and I'm not even exaggerating. But I'm so glad he's under Xavi out of all of them because Xavi seems to also care about him beyond being his player. He speaks about him so fondly like that's literally his son. The way he teased Gavi about his laces still brings a smile to my face they're very father son coded.

I know a lot of people say he stunted Gavi's growth with the leftwing slave shifts and maybe he did in a way because that's six months lost where he could've been developing in his actual position but him playing him there is just more proof of how much he trusts Gavi. He had other players he could've played there but he only trusted Gavi to give him what he needed in that position. So even that is a testament of how much he believes in Gavi and he defended him when everyone decided to turn their backs on him. He absolutely loves Gavi and appreciates him both as a player and as a person. The fact that he's Xavi's designated instructions transporter in games at nineteen and he's basically the one Xavi talks to the most in games says enough. When asked about it, Xavi said that he talks to most players but he talks to Gavi a lot because he has so much confidence in him, so much faith and because he's the soul of the team. Do you know how amazing it is to have Xavi fucking Hernandez talk like this about you? That's insane. So yeah he definitely has a soft spot for Gavi and he has every right to. I'll never forget how proud he was of him during and after the supercup final 😭😭

#both of their smiles in this video make smile like an idiot #just a proud father and his talented son #and now I'm emotional over a coach and his bond with his player 😭#anon what did you do 😭😭#pablo gavi #baby waby #xavi hernandez

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acti-veg · 5 months

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do you think it's better to vote tactically for Labour if you don't live in Brighton? (only place Green are likely to win)

I think that people should vote for the party who best represents their values. The unfortunate reality is that our system of first past the post necessarily produces a two party system, and we're constantly in a state of 'vote X even if you don't believe in X, because if you don't then Y will win.'

If labour had offered proporational representation as part of their manifesto I'd vote for them despite labour making it pretty clear they don't want people like me in the party. The Tories would never get in again. But they haven't done that, so it'll be more of the same, and the same onus on us to vote for them again the next time no matter how they shaft us - because at least they aren't the Tories, right?

The Greens will not get anywhere near power, but that doesn't mean that voting for them is throwing your vote away. UKIP were a fringe party whose candidates didn't stand a chance, but people voted for them, and they have managed to dictate public policy for years - including the biggest political and economic calamity of our generation in Brexit. Both Labour and the Tories saw the popularity of their xenophobia and decided to co-opt it to win the UKIP vote. Imagine if Labour actually had to work to get the left-wing vote, imagine what we could do if both parties knew they had to adopt green policies to secure our votes.

Starmer absolutely eviscerated the left of the party, and prevented leftwing candidates from even standing for the party. He has thrown his support behind the Israeli genocide despite significant rebellion from his own party. If they win an overwhelming majority, they'll take that as a nod that pulling to the center and abandoning their connection to their traditional values, the unions and the very principles of the labour movement itself is a real vote winner.

I hope they get in over the tories, but I also hope that they see the threat that the Greens pose, and how important green, socialist policies are to their voter base. You should vote in the way that makes the most sense to you, but for me personally, it doesn't make sense to vote for a party who doesn't seem to stand for anything that I do.

#ask #politics #uk politics

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yourturntofnaf · 7 months

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fuck it. yttd politics headcanons.

sara- progressive values on social issues, not active in economic theories and doesn't really label her politics.

joe- democratic socialist. the kind of guy to watch hasanabi clips every now and then.

reko- maoist. possibly mlm.

nao- social democrat, progressive feminist and strong stances on lgbtq rights.

alice- anarcho-communist.

mishima- social democrat. overall progressive, prefers pacifism. talks about politics with nao.

keiji- "socially liberal, fiscally conservative" kind of guy. calls everyone to the left of him extremists. big horseshoe theory believer. cites animal farm in debates.

qtaro- doesn't care about politics at all. accepting of everyone. despite not knowing much about politics, he will argue heavily with people if they bring up a political opinion he disagrees with.

shin- finds politics too confusing and is self-proclaimed apolitical. easily influenced, probably had a right-wing phase as a teen without even realizing it. big on worker's rights for obvious reasons.

kugie- very much a leftist, not sure which exact ideology.

kanna- only knows politics from what she hears from kugie and her parents debating. she tends to agree with her sister.

kai- doesn't know much about politics, however I think would be a marxist leninst if given the chance to read about it.

gin- annoyed by politics and finds them stupid.

real hinako- doesn't know much about politics, thinks anarchy is cool.

ranmaru- either a tiktok-brained liberal or an anarcho-nihilist (sorry).

anzu- this can go many ways. possible anarchist, possible demsoc, who knows. I'm going to say left wing with no current strand of thought.

kurumada- doesn't label his politics but is certainly a leftist. doesn't really read theory or keep up with news, moreso does real life applications of his morals.

mai- she was raised in a conservative family. very accepting on social issues, takes a semi social democrat approach to the economy.

hayasaka- this is a hard one, probably liberal though? for sure an economics kind of guy.

imposter hinako- genuinely no clue. I'm going to go with uninterested in politics for now.

emiri- advocates for nordic style social democracy.

michiru - progressive, especially on accessible healthcare and housing. I like to think she's a marxist feminist. she would like alexandra kollontai I believe. absolutely adores "who needs the war?" by her.

ranger- ......anarchist.

maple- knows little to nothing about politics. doesn't care about specifics and has no ideology, just wants everyone to be happy.

hiyori- whatever benefits him most at the time being.

gashu- this guy fucking loves capitalism.

megumi- right leaning, also very pro capitalism.

mr policeman- just a regular liberal.

mr and mrs chidouin- both are liberals.

jin- this man is a marxist-leninist-maoist if there's ever been one. organizes. reads so much theory. does community work.

touko- definitely a feminist, not necessarily bourgeois feminism but I don't think she's necessarily a marxist either. maybe I'm wrong and she's a luxemburgist.

ursheen- socialist.

stronghold- leftwing to some degree, not sure which ideology.

#yttd #politics #oh lord this took so long #sara chidouin #joe tazuna #reko yabusame #alice yabusame #kai satou #the rest of the cast im too lazy to tag

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rataccatak · 2 years

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major grom/plague doctor pages that made me feel big emotions (pt 2/3)

1. Sergey's Childhood Flashback (Major Grom issue 10)

Issue 10 of Major Grom (specifically Sergey's Metamorphosis chapter) is possibly one of my favorites in the entire series, and it's what got me into Major Grom/Plague Doctor in the first place. Aside from the art being absolutely gorgeous, it's one of the most important chapters in the series because it's the first time Phobs is in charge of the writing in a very dominating and significant way. Before this chapter, the OG Major Grom series was a completely different story with a conventional "off-the-grid cop vs leftwing revolutionary terrorist" plot with a traditional detective comic aesthetic and more focus on big action and world building than character-driven drama. This chapter, by comparison, is COVERED in Phob's influence, and it's from this point forward that her writing style lays the foundation for the rest of the series, and it starts with THIS PAGE RIGHT HERE.

Before this chapter, we frankly don't know anything about Sergey that makes him meaningfully redeemable or likeable (aside from his revolutionary rhetoric, but that was later deflated and replaced with a ridiculously criminal motivation specifically designed to deter sympathizers). Phobs essentially rewrites Sergey's character to take a less ideological and more personalized tone that focuses on humanizing him (which also inspires the creation of Bird as essentially a scapegoat for Sergey's past terrorism). This glimpse into his backstory, laden with vibrant yet soft dreamlike colors, communicates things we have already known about Sergey but in a more empathetic package. We see his love for fine art, his ostracization, his peers' early assumptions of his criminality and deviancy, all with the tragedy of that lost innocence coupled with his adult indignation. Ugh, I just love it. Sergey also looks so ridiculously gorgeous in this chapter.

Hands down, my single favorite page and moment in the entire series. Nothing can compete in my eyes.

2. Lera Post-Massacre Scene (Plague Doctor Issue 5)

Long story short, this page fucks cuz it's Lera's TURNING POINT as a character and what later inspires her assumption of the Plague Doctor as an ideological identity rather than a (forced) occupation. Her pacifism, sense of responsibility, and her adoption of a broken world are all communicated in this scene. Her isolation is also made extremely potent; she's now an "outlaw" and cannot reenter normal society where her parents & everyone else occupy, but she's not entirely off-the-grid like Sergey and Oleg are. She's between both worlds with either side unable to fully accommodate her.

Natalia Zaidova (the artist of this page) perfectly captures the dread and self-blame of this page in a way that reflects Lera's overwhelming feeling of responsibility coupled with the crushing inability to CONFIDE in anyone about it. The stomach-sinking feeling is palpable. It rings like a point of no return, and it reminds me of a previous page from chapter 2:

I could ramble on for so much longer about this but this is the jist of it. I love Lera. I love this page. UGH 💕❤️❤️❤️

#major grom #plague doctor #sergey razumovsky #oleg volkov #lera makarova #bubble comics

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philosophicalconservatism · 1 year

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Handling A Major Big City Problem.

A directive by New York mayor Eric Adams to begin forcibly hospitalizing the severely mentally ill who inhabit the streets, train and bus stations of the city has been halted by a federal judge after legal challenges over the orders constitutionality. Critics complain that it is violation of the civil rights of the mentally ill. Now mayor Eric Adams has accurately concluded that the situation in New York's streets and public spaces is absolutely unsustainable over the long term. But critics are correct to question the constitutionality of forcibly removing individuals for either lacking permanent residence or appearing to be mentally ill, with no further provocation. So how should the mayor move forward?

Adams should simply use the violation of existing nuisance laws as a trigger for state intervention. Existing regulations which, for example, prohibit individuals from inhabiting trains and bus stations without actually taking trains or buses, and laws which prohibit passengers from using the bench seats on train-cars as beds could be employed. So when any of these rules are violated, it will trigger intervention. Rather than taking punative action, responders can deal with it as a medical/social problem based on an assessment of the individual's general condition. The law should not be stupid or blind. If we see that their general condition makes it highly likely that such offenses will be repeated indefinitely, we are to respond accordingly. Many Leftwing critics will obviously howl over this policy as well, but it rests on much more solid legal grounding than just snatching people off the streets willy nilly based on "the looks of them".

If we cast a smaller net as this policy does, we will get fewer people but it will be enough to significantly impact the scope of the problem.

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female-malice · 1 year

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every day there is 100 leftwing homophobic straight people. 100 rightwing homophobic straight people. 100 annoying pickme lgb people desperate for positive validation from straight people. 100 regressive edgelord lgb people desperate for negative validation from straight people. 100 absolutely batshit insane posts.

and i just have to ignore it all and reblog animal pictures

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faroreswinds · 1 year

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I find it laughable people still claim meritocracy and Edelgard are leftwing. The most basic aspects of the left-right political spectrum is that the left is for equality while the right is for hierarchy. Edelgard says people will rise and fall, that's not possible when everyone is equal, it is possible in a hierarchy.

I think there is some misunderstanding about meritocracy among fans as well.

Meritocracy, at its core, is honestly what I would consider good. The best people for the job SHOULD get the job, regardless of their social status, wealth, sexual orientation, or religious beliefs. It's about the person's abilities. I would want the best person to become a doctor to actually BECOME a doctor!

But meritocracy on its own cannot work in a imperfect world. It needs proper support, and just declaring society as a meritocracy will not magically open up doors to people.

First of all, those with resources will always win out against those without resources. Every once in a while a less-blessed individual will sneak past, but for the most part, elite breeds elite. And it is not because the elite are inheritably superior at everything they touch, but because they have the resources to pour into their children to ensure they get the best of the best.

As an example, lets take two young men. One man is arguably more intelligent than the other, but the other man comes from a place of wealth. The first man grew up with a simple education. It was a free education offered by the state, the same one everyone gets. The second man grew up with the best tutors and classes money could offer. They both have a mother who becomes sickly around 18.

Meritocracy would dictate that the first man should go on to greater things thanks to his vastly greater intelligence. But he doesn't have the money nor the education, and needs to stay home to care for his mother. The second man has the money to hire nurses to care for his mother, and is able to use his amazing education to go farther than the first man ever could.

Secondly, as we see from the example above, that means you need to have resources available to the less fortunate in order to maximize their potential. The middle class did not emerge because education was suddenly available to farmers. It was mostly because technology advanced enough to give them the time to become educated. People could go to school in the 1800s, but many of them dropped out early because someone needed to work on the farm. The labor was absolutely necessary. But as the need for labor decreased as the improved farming technologies increased, this gave farmers more free time to pursue other possibilities.

A perfect meritocracy is basically impossible. Although, I don't think that it therefore should not be a dream we try not to pursue. It it still better for society, in my opinion, that anyone could become leaders or plumbers, which is not dictated by your family name but by your own wits and talents.

Also, a meritocracy does not mean a democratic society. I see this mistake... a lot. It just means that your talents matter more. It doesn't mean that your society is actually a democratic one.

#anon asks

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thesickpanda · 2 years

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The Ableds are At it Again

Story time!

Years ago, when I was running a feminist non-profit and getting increasingly immersed in leftwing spaces and rhetoric, I came across what I then thought of as a peculiar phenomenon. I’d entered feminist activism *totally* naive, and had no clue about the different approaches, ideologies and sects within it (it was a harsh and steep learning curve). The phenomenon I observed was how certain minority groups stuck to themselves. For example, most of the feminist groups I found myself attending were blindingly white, and I knew my city to be very multicultural, so I dumbly thought, “where are all the women of colour?” My little white noggin’ still had the rainbows and unicorns notion that “We Are All Women Who Share the Same Struggle! Therefore We Should Stick Together!”, completely ignorant of the history of feminism, particularly white feminism, in doing the exact opposite of that (a trend that persists to this day). I had the audacity to feel miffed that black women made their own feminist groups and often termed them by other names. How could we Win the Fight Against Patriarchy if we stood divided, I thought?

Ha. Ha ha. Haaaaaa.

It took me quite a while to understand why minority groups did this. It’s because dealing with privilege, particularly white and abled privilege, is unbelievably exhausting, annoying and frustrating. It also gets in the way of any progress you might actually make in your activism. The people who spearhead such groups are tone-deaf to criticism and don’t make time or space for issues that don't directly affect them and them alone. They’ll pay flimsy lip service to black, indigenous, disabled and transwomen from time to time, but that is about it. For the record, I was never part of any TERF groups, just groups that oozed middle class white privilege. In time, I started joining groups that were more diverse, and I was *always* welcomed into spaces run by people of colour (which, when I look back on it, was an honour and not an entitlement). I learned a lot from the multicultural women’s groups I joined and how different their struggle actually looked. (I am myself a migrant from a developing country). I listened a lot, spoke little and realized how small the scope of most white feminist led organisations were. And I decided to make my own group a different sort of space. Years later, I feel I mostly achieved that, but I did so by platforming more than just white women, and collaborating with diverse groups on issues that were important to them. I made strong ties with those groups and made sure to check in. I absolutely still had my blind spots and I got it wrong a lot, but I was determined to try.

The point is, I understand why minority groups stick together, because dealing with privileged groups is painful, difficult and annoying as fuck.

I am disabled and my number one complaint (and the chief reason I quit activism after a near decade) is how relentlessly ableist I found activist spaces. Venues were often inaccessible, and few if any accommodations were made to people who were blind, deaf or used a wheelchair. I had real difficulty getting to some of the locations of events and meetings, almost all of which were city based (as in the CBD) and never out in the “poorer” parts of the wider city (where I lived). The distance of a venue to public transport was almost never factored in. Abled bodied volunteers would ghost me after committing to projects or events, leaving me, the chronically ill person, to pick up the slack over and over again, pushing myself into crash after crash (their excuses for not turning up ranged from, “I felt tired” to “I forgot” to no reason at all.) Hosting events in the city was often prohibitively expensive, and there were no grants to help small community groups pay for such expenses as venues and AUSLAN interpreters. Chairs in public venues were hideously uncomfortable and I was always in agony. If there was food, intolerances and allergies were rarely catered for. People used to ditch me at train stations where they said they’d pick me up and help me with my bags, so I was in a flare by the time I reached the location of the event. It was, frankly, hellish. Whenever I dared to call out ableism in my so-called allies, they took enormous offense and either demanded I apologize to them, or they quit on me. (I am trauma-trained to be polite and conflict-averse, so it took courage for me to say anything at all). Such experiences eventually wore me down until I left activism with a great deal of bitterness.

After that, I spent more time in spaces for the chronically ill and disabled and my goodness, what a difference that made. I went to local groups and found a welcoming, understanding space where I didn't need to JADE (justify, argue, defend and explain) my position all the time; where accommodations were made for my disability without fuss; where people just *got* it. I really enjoyed being in those support groups. I started befriending other people with chronic illnesses and just found myself a great deal more at ease in their company. I enjoyed this for such a brief time, because then Covid hit and made going to those places in person impossible for me. Thankfully, I have my wonderful Tumblr mutuals, my international friends, and my local support group still does meetings via Zoom, and I have managed to keep up with some of my chronically ill and disabled friends, both locally and in the city. I am glad I had the opportunity to meet them all before things went pandemic shaped.

Now for rub:

I write all this, because I am in the midst of what feels like yet another fall out with able-bodied friends. These friends promised me they cared for me and I could tell them anything; that they’d be open to hearing my views and learning more about my disability. They took no initiative to do this in their own time, mind you, and at the time they met me (just as I was leaving feminist activism behind) I was in no mood to be their tutor. I just wanted local buds to hang out with, play games, go for walks etc. I wanted to feel, and be treated like, a human being. I’d been an activist educator for 9 years and I was tired of it. I just wanted to live my life at that point. I also got a vibe that they were saying those things without actually understanding what honesty might look like from a disabled person. I don’t think they actually expected me to ever call out ableist behaviour. I got the impression that if I ever did, it would not go over well. So I bit my tongue on a number of things, and made a whole heap of allowances for less-than-ideal statements and behaviours. I was in the midst of cutting ties with my abusive family, and desperately in need of a tribe nearby me, so I swallowed down my discomfort and chose to focus on their good sides and the nice things they had to offer.

This worked fairly well up until recently, when we started going into discussions around class, race, human rights and so on. They are white vegans with, let me just say, a very White Vegan headspace (ya’ll know what I am referring to here) and so have a nihilist and reductionist “anti-human” view. Now, to be fair to them, when they met me, I kinda had the same view (albeit from a totally different angle and from different experiences). I was over Humans et large, due to the appalling treatment my disabled ass received for years in leftwing spaces. If the very people who were supposed to care about issues pertaining to disability weren’t even bothering to do that, then what the hell was the point of doing anything, I thought? I was thoroughly jaded and let down by people, so it was easy to fall into step with their negative views on people in general. Theirs was a “humans are terrible because they kill animals and torture each other and pollute” mindset and mine was a “people are lazy, selfish, narrow-minded and ego-driven and I am DONE” mindset.

Then I got therapy.

Therapy changed everything.

Therapy helped me find myself. I identified the problems in my own behavior and the causes of those maladaptive copes (losing myself in activism as a substitute for grieving my dead activist father being one of them). Through EMDR I probed my dark depths, reckoned with the chronic and terrible emotional abuse I had endured growing up, grieved the family I deserved but never had, reconciled with my work addiction and, most importantly, rediscovered my inner child and her beautiful propensity towards hope. I was so broken when I met my psych, having given up my career in activism (which destroyed what was left of my fragile health) and in the midst of breaking up with my family. I was in a very dark place and suicidal. But bit by bit, she has been restoring the light within me, and helping me to love myself and make peace with my past and its mistakes.

I am changing.

So when my friends started on one of their nihilist anti-human rants a few weeks ago (see this post), I started to counter it with nuance, hope and optimism. And….

They didn't like that. Not one bit.

I tried to address it with them in a follow up meeting. I explained that my mental health was fragile but that I was trying to recover it, and that hope in the world, hope in the process, was important for me to get through this phase in my life. Initially they said they understood and would respect that, and then not 10 minutes later I was dealing with an absurd defence of why mass omnicide was the only way to fix the universe’s evil ways (i.e. “blow up the universe to end all suffering”). It was preachy, it was ignorant, it was genocidal language (which for disabled people, along with most other minority groups, is really offensive) and then the more I probed it the more they doubled down. The two of them bullied me in their defense of an indefensible (and philosophically lazy) world view, which is that suffering negates all other aspects of life, and as long as suffering exists, life shouldn’t.

We ended that meeting with quiet hurt and the next day I got a text from my white abled bodied friend accusing me of hurting her feeling by calling out some of the things she said as racist (they were - viewing the survival of brown babies thanks to improved healthcare in Sierra Leone as a net negative for the world because “more humans” is outrageously racist) and ableist (devaluing life because of any form of suffering is massively devaluing the lives of people with chronic pain and illness, or other forms of disability). I called these things out gently, but no matter how much padding you give a call-out, The Ableds Get Weird.

I had invited those friends over because I was having a difficult few weeks for a variety of reasons, and I needed to be cheered up. I made that need clear at the beginning.. I had also hoped I could explain to them why I needed them to uplift and support me with positivity at the moment, as doing the trauma therapy was hard work and draining, and I needed wind put into my sails, not taken out of it. So to come away from that gathering feeling disrespected, stressed out and deeply hurt, did a real number on my health. As they had always told me I could be vulnerable with them, this hurt twice as badly, because when (after years) I finally tested that theory and *was* vulnerable enough to say “Hey, I don’t appreciate it when you say that problematic thing”, I got a faceful of white fragility, outrage and defensiveness.

Oh, the precious little ego of the self-appointed white savior.

My partner pointed out something interesting. He said, “they are left leaning in theory, but the only actions they take are in the defense of animal rights, and animals cannot talk back to them. Animals are “under their care” and have no voice. Animals are beings to be saved, playing into that savior complex. Animals cannot call out problematic behaviours or narrow-minded views. They are not used to having to support or uplift a group that can talk back.”

I thought that was quite astute.

Anyway, after the event, I went into my third flare in as many weeks, and I have been physically sick from the stress and anxiety of the situation every day since it happened. My pain has gotten worse; my nightmares (which were just starting to abate due to therapy) returned with a vengeance; I lost all the weight I’d tried so hard to regain due to chronic IBS; I cannot hold my food down and I can hardly sleep. My partner tried to talk to them, at first in person (they were in such denial about their part in this fiasco he came back crestfallen) and then again through an olive-branch email that basically said, “let’s just let it go but proceed in future with some boundaries, namely, let’s not talk about pessimist world views and politics and instead focus on the things we bond over, like board games and nature walks). He knew they weren’t up to the challenge of understanding the complexity of this situation, and so he'd tried to give everyone an easy out. Forgive and forget, move past it, avoid thorny topics in future. They sat on that for days, apparently deliberating whether or not the friendship they had framed with terms like “forever” and “found family” and “we love you” was actually worth a dime to them.

I got angry. And despite my illness, I sat down and wrote a letter explaining my past, who I was, who I am now and who I intend to become. I explained in more academic terms why their views were problematic, but also went to great pains to say that I don't write people off for having problematic views because everyone does (myself included) and told them the same story I have told you, dear reader at the beginning of this post. I hoped if I explained myself (the old JADE again) they’d understand, but deep down inside, I knew that, judging from their behavior at even the modest call out, this would likely end the friendship for good.

They completely ignored that email. As in, they acknowledge its receipt, but literally none of its content. In fact, they framed my writing it as “taking things too far”. Funny how when the injured party speaks up, it’s all getting too much for them to bear. Gotta love the further silencing of the disabled victim here. Instead they deflected, made petty comebacks and basically wanted to handwave the whole thing away without giving anything due consideration or making clear that they understood the situation at all.

My partner and I crafted another reply to them to address this. We await their response.

If at the end of all this they discard me for being my honest self, then I will discard the notion of even being friends with ableds again. I am so over them and their fragility and egotistical defenses.

People who won’t support your growth in a better direction are not worth keeping around.

I’m just gonna hang out with my fellow spoonies, and all of you beautiful peeps here in my carefully curated and wonderful Tumblr community.

Seriously. Ables ARE weird. And not the good kind.

And I am so DONE with it.

[Addendum: for the record, I am not against vegans or anything; just a very particular type of poorly reasoned and highly privileged white vegan headspace that often comes into conflict with disabled and indigenous peoples and their lives]

#white vegans #ableists #ableism #abledsareweird #the ableds are at it again #white fragility #white priveledge #abled priveledge #dealing with ignorance #mental health #oh god not this again #long post

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