#about kicking the crap out of anybody who disagrees with them

[tanadrin]

That is correct, I didn't think the Mosaic law would be a practical way of running a society but that's what my client wanted so that's what I wrore

I don't really get the joke here, so I'm just going to take an opportunity to add another fact I found pretty interesting:

It was common in the Ancient Near East to create codes of law for display purposes (and outside it--cf. the Twelve Tables). This wasn't so much so that the common person could know and understand the law, because literacy rates were pretty low, but served a similar function as monumental architecture, to display the power of the ruler and at least notionally their justice. But in practice, the law as it actually functioned could be pretty different from the law as these monuments proclaimed it.

I think it's interesting to consider the law-as-a-symbol. There was some incidental discourse crossing my dash recently about whether "law" as a general concept protects the weak from the strong, or whether it legitimates the rule of the elites. And I think the answer is that is obviously does neither: that a society has a system of law tells you nothing about how that system functions, and you have to dig into the nitty-gritty details to determine whether the society has "rule of law" (which is good) or "rule by law" (which is bad). The former is, hopefully, a system where the law binds everybody, attempts to be fair, and there is at least some effort to enforce it equally; the latter is where law is a justification for a system power that makes no pretense at that sort of thing.

And I think rule by law is a very common state of affairs, especially pre-French Revolution! I might be generous and say pre-Enlightenment at best. Because before you have an ideological starting point of "ok, everybody should be equal before the law and the law should be impartially enforced," one-off privileges, aristocracies, and random exemptions from various rights and duties are pretty normal, and one of the major functions of law is to codify these inequities to make sure the king or his judiciary respects them. There is a reason one of the big components of revolutionary projects historically has been administrative reform, because in redrawing internal boundaries and revising old law codes, you can do away with these inequities and legally enshrined hierarchies.

And that pattern of inequity, of legally enshrined hierarchy, is of course thoroughly present in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. As Dan McClellan points out, agency in these codes flows downhill and it flattens everything in its path. The agency of men erases that of women: the law treats what happens if a man violates the property rights of another man over the women under his dominion (his daughters or wives), but the agency of the women ("consent" in modern parlance) simply makes no difference to the law. The only place women's sexual agency shows up in the law is in the one situation where a woman is interacting with a creature lesser than her, i.e., if she lies with an animal.

Even in the European Middle Ages I think there were real disjuncts between the worldview of the people using these law codes for devotional purposes and the worldview of their authors. In the modern era, of course, those disjuncts are yawning chasms, and as a result you get some really weak apologetic attempts to try to reconcile modern ethics with (again, impractical, unworkable, entirely theoretical) Iron Age legal theory. But there are lots of places in the Bible--both in the law codes and in the narrative portions--where I think the disjunct is so great that the aftercomers can't really make heads or tails of the worldviews of their predecessors. This is where the apologists (and before them, the commentaries of the Talmud) often have to invent major details out of whole cloth to try to turn the situation into one that makes sense to them. It would be better, and easier to construct a more consistent system of ethics, to just jettison the bits that clearly aren't applicable to the concerns of your community--but then of course once you admit that what parts of your scripture you do and don't accept are contingent on their relevance to your community, it is no longer the timeless and authoritative book from God, and it ceases to be a useful way of structuring power.

And as with codes of law, holy writ is (among other things) about structuring power! Otherwise all religion would approximately resemble Unitarian Universalism, an honest, gentle, thoughtful faith that is approximately irrelevant.

#'mimetic fitness' is so often just a measure #of how enthusiastic your followers are #about kicking the crap out of anybody who disagrees with them #coercion and hierarchy are therefore great for mimetic fitness #even if they are terrible for human flourishing and happiness

[polarb2709]

How Marvel Destroys Character Arcs. Part One: Black Widow

*SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ENDGAME* 

Posting here and on my blog (link in bio).

It’s a long one. I’m getting to Cap and Romanogers later, don’t worry, ya’ll.  

____________________________________________

What is a good story?

When you sit down to open a novel or get a ticket for a movie, how do you know that what you read or what you watched was a "good" story? Examples often help. For me, THE STAND is a good story. LOTR is a good story. GONE WITH THE WIND. COWBOY BEBOP. HALLOWEEN. STAR WARS EPS 4, 5, and 6. They are all good stories (in my opinion). I could go on, but you get the picture.

Screenwriters, novelists -- they'll say that regardless of the context, there are common elements to a good story. The act structure is an example of this. An act ends when a character (usually the protagonist) makes an irreversible change. Think of Michael Corleone when he decides to shoot the mobsters in the restaurant in THE GODFATHER -- up to that point he had been the moral upright son in a family hindered with morality issues. Or in WONDER WOMAN when she leaves the island for the first time. Frodo when he chooses to take the ring to Mordor. I think you get the picture, right? Each of these decisions spark incredibly great character change. And remember: that change is irreversible. There is no going back then. The experiences that happen to the character -- and more importantly, the internal changes about who they are, how they see themselves, others, and the world -- cannot be undone.

Which brings us to the MCU....

From this point forward... MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!

...Okay?

...Okay.

I should pause here and say: "Before we get started, does anybody want to get out?"

This is going to be long. And this is going to be geared toward Captain America and Black Widow; there are other characters in Endgame that did not get their due (I'm thinking of the complete glossing over how Hulk turned into Professor Hulk), but for the purposes of this post, I will focus on the two characters who I felt were maimed throughout Endgame in terms of character arc. And why. I think that's really important to highlight. Why did the writers choose to do this? It's a question that I don't think has been asked from a writer's point of view.

To give some context: I am a published novelist. I wrote a little sci-fi novel that was picked up by EDGE Science Fiction and Fantasy Publishing. Since then, I've helmed the screenplay for an upcoming neo noir psychological thriller video game. I am the sole writer and co-creator. And since I like to think I'm a writer worth my salt, I got my hands on every screenplay book I could find to make that what I was crafting made sense from a story perspective. Why? Because how you write stories for the big screen differs greatly from crafting them in paper form. It's about dialogue. It's about structure. It's about conflict. And you guessed it, it's about arcs. I am not here to say my word is the golden rule on this. Many people -- including many writers -- will disagree with what I'm about to say -- and that's fair. But the writer in me is screaming after watching some of the decisions in the screenplay, and so I do the only thing I can do: write about it.

PART ONE

Black Widow:

"I got red in my ledger. I'd like to wipe it out."

This is the first quote (that I can think of) from Black Widow in which we as the viewers get a sense of her backstory. It occurs in a great scene between her and Loki -- the conflict in the scene couldn't be higher, which always lends to great scenes and character growth -- and ends with Black Widow "winning." But at what cost? Scarlett Johansson does a fantastic job at conveying the subtle shift when BW goes from cold assassin to letting a little part of herself through. Loki lost, but he had gotten to her. And no one gets to Black Widow right?

The problem isn't this scene. It's that it is the first scene we really get at Black Widow's capacity to solve problems her counterparts cannot, and it is the first scene we learn more about her, that we learn to empathize with her. It shouldn't have been. Her introduction was in Iron Man 2, as the seductive and sexy assistant to Pepper Potts, where she plays a character who advances the plot for the male protagonist. For most of the movie, we, the audience, wonder if she's coming onto Tony Stark or really what her purpose is in the film -- until she's side by side Nick Fury in the donut shop. She's been sent undercover to watch Tony's movements, and it's only at the end of the movie that we see her showcase her abilities. By the end of the IM2, we know two things about BW: she can kick ass and she's an assassin, madly skilled at seduction. That's it. That's not enough. Not if she's going to be part of a team which includes the God of Thunder, Captain America, Hulk, and Iron Man (Hawkeye has yet to be introduced either).

It would have been nice to see BW solve a problem her counterparts could not in IM2. That way we would have gotten an introduction to the character that allowed us to put our faith in her as having her own bonafide superhero status despite not having a robotic suit or summoning lightning from the clouds or having super serum or gamma radiation (and to show that she has more to her than advancing Tony's arc). How? Simple. Remember that scene where she and Happy infiltrated the facility, chasing after Ivan Vanko? Wonder if instead of him being gone when she busted down the door, she had to go toe to toe with him, with his armor on? The same Ivan Vanko who nearly killed Tony in his suit. We'd immediately have the impression that BW has something other superheroes don't despite any extra help. The scene would likely end with Ivan escaping, barely, and BW alerting Tony of his departure, but it would give us the lasting impression that without any armor, lightning, serum, or radiation, she can go toe to toe with the biggest baddies.

Flash forward to the "red ledger" scene. This supposedly is the arc that is completed when she sacrifices her life in endgame for her "family," the avengers. It's a good arc. We can understand it. "Hey, I have so much red the only way I can make it up to people is to give my life for others." Yeah... that arc works only if Marvel: The Avengers was followed up by Infinity War and Endgame, and did not have Winter Soldier, Ultron, and Civil War before it. It's almost as if the writers ignored the character development of those three movies for her and the rest of the OG6. Those three movies moved Natasha's arc forward and backward and forward again -- and more importantly: in a different direction.

Winter Soldier found BW paired with Cap, which centered around themes of trust and the truth. It was a perfect set up for conflict. BW fluid in truth and distrustful. Cap having an unbending moral compass and in a complete pursuit of the truth and honesty. The two have to work together, on the run. BW, however, once again becomes the character in a movie that moves the plot forward for a male protagonist. And here we still only get a fraction of her background and, of course, it centers around a description of the main villain and is used as an info dump for the viewer (the scene where Steve and her are at the candy machine).

But the "I have red in my ledger" is addressed: at the end of the movie, BW accepts that others will know the truth about her by releasing Hydra's secrets which include everything about her as well. She and Steve have an intimate moment where she says "I thought I knew whose lies I was telling..." hinting that BW wants something more than this, that she thought she was doing something more, that she was changing, only to find herself back in the same pattern. She breaks that pattern when she releases the files to the public and exposes everyone. And her and Steve move past a work relationship into something more...  

The point is, the fact that Black Widow had the emotional strength to release her secrets to the public means she had to accept them herself. The red in my ledger arc would be finished.  And we as an audience can relate to it. Everyone has dark stuff in their history, and everyone knows how hard it would be to let the world see it. It takes acceptance and strength to do that. It was brilliant. The beauty of being human is accepting our mistakes and moving past them, forgiving yourself. At the end of WS, I thought BW had.

And then came AoU. If BW's character hadn't been hit badly enough, AoU sets up the "I'm a monster" scene, in which she views herself as broken because she was sterilized. The destruction of her arc here has been beat to death by critics and feminists around so I'm not going to dig too deep into it, but I will say that we're now five or six movies in and we still have her as a foil for our male heroes. She's relegated to a prize, with a beauty and the beast metaphor crap that leaves a bad taste in our mouths. And she needed to be rescued, my goodness. How wonderful would it have been if she had fought Ultron and gotten out of there herself? See, even without her own movie, there are moments where we could have seen her be her own and not beholden to a man. Worse, we have lines like: "I'm always cleaning up after you boys..." that cement that Natasha is going to become a surrogate mother to the group. It's embarrassing for her as a character, because instead of an opportunity to come into her own, her identity will now be defined by "her boys."

Civil War finds her on this path. The only significant choice she makes is the one in which she betrays IM for Steve Rogers -- another choice to move the plot forward for a male protagonist. Good for her character arc, but still. Infinity war hits, and we are told that her and Steve have been hiding out underground. We see her take more of a leadership role, watching over Wanda and Vision, joining Steve and BP on making decisions. It's wonderful. She's not as beholden to anyone.

Which brings us to Endgame.

After the 5 year time jump we find her holding down the fort at the facility, trying to find any way to fix the snap. During that time we witness the others grieve and Hawkeye slaughter innocents. The writers firmly plant her in the motherly role, even describing them as her family. She goes out to get Hawkeye. The two are then assigned to go to Vormir to get the soul stone. We know what's going to happen: one of them has to die. Given everything I've said so far, should we really be surprised that what happened actually happened? Hawkeye, who wasn't even in infinity war and who managed to slaughter several innocent people, winds up alive at the bottom of that pool instead of Natasha. Once again, she's a foil for a male protagonist's arc. Once again, her character is depicted as LESS than the rest. And worse, she also views herself as less, citing a character regression back to the red ledger scene and the sterilization. "I'm a monster, and since I still view myself as a monster, and have red in my ledger, here's what I know I can do. I can die for my family." As if somehow Hawkeye's life is worth more than hers. Well, actually, to the writers: it is, and it always has been: BW has always been depicted as less than the other avengers -- and for no reason.

This is seen in the aftermath, after Hawkeye returns. We get the worst line ever uttered by Tony Stark: "Did she have any family?"

Seriously.

You spent years with her and you don't know that? No one knows anything about the supposed mother figure that took care of the avengers for the last 5 years, that sacrificed her life to save millions? She doesn't even get a funeral. And Steve Rogers sheds a tear but doesn't say anything else about her. This would have been a great scene for Tony and Steve to have it out. Steve who spent the last decade with her. Steve who had his butt saved by her in Civil War. Steve who was fortunate enough to have her visit him after Peggy died, saying "I didn't want you to be alone." Steve could have really let us, the audience, know how important Nat was to the avengers, instead we get an argument between Clint and Thor. The scene falls flat for a very simple reason: how can you convey to an audience how important this character is to the other characters when that said character has always played second fiddle to them?

Long story short: she was discarded, like she had been for the prior movies. And that's when you realize that BW wasn't a motherly figure at all to the rest of the avengers (and it's writers/directors): she was a glorified secretary until someone better (e.g., Captain Marvel) came along. They had six movies with BW in it. And in those six movies writers were unable to move her arc forward at all. They placed her in a motherly figure for "her boys" and like a mother, she made the sacrifice for them.

How should it have ended with Nat? Hawkeye should have died, paying for his past mistakes and a chance for his family to live again. Meanwhile, Nat should have embraced her role as a leader more (like infinity war), and viewed herself worthy enough of being alive. Picking up from Winter Soldier, it should have gone: "my secrets are out, time to live in the truth that I know who I am." And then take over SHIELD for Fury. She deserved to be at the final fight with the OG6. She deserved to see her work be paid off. She deserved so much more.  

Sigh...

You know I get it. Feige and the marvel crew were unsure of how audiences would take to Black Widow, which is why the hesitancy of giving her a standalone movie to start...well actually I don't. That argument kind of falls flat when you consider that they chose RDJ for Tony Stark and gave him an entire movie to develop his character when RDJ had been in MIA (mostly rehab and jail) for the last decade and a half. Scarlett wasn't as big as she is now, but she was still well known. With the upcoming BW movie, my only hope is they give her a movie that lets her come into her own, which is why a prequel once again would be a disservice, because it only serves a story that's already happened, and that story spent the last ten years treating her as an afterthought.

#romanogers #black widow #capwidow #captasha

[beautyinthemoonlight1124]

Do you think Ali and Ash will make the Olympic roster? ANd do you think the CONCACAF tournament is structured in a way that will make it hard for us to qualify? I’m a new USWNT fan, I became a fan before the WWC because I found woso fanfics (yours included) so I don’t know a lot about soccer but I’ve somehow become I diehard USWNT and NWSL follower

Hi there.  Welcome to woso!  That’s women’s soccer, just in case you don’t know that yet.  lol.  First of all, thank you for reading the story.  I appreciate it very much.  :)  

Now to your soccer questions… I’ll take the easier of the two first.  I think the CONCACAF tournament is as good as it’s gonna get anytime soon.  CONCACAF is probably just as corrupt as the rest of the FIFA, etc.  But, in general, I think it’s a fair tournament and the USWNT should have no problem qualifying for the Olympics.  But you never know.  I think it was before 2012 Olympics (or maybe 2011 World Cup??) when the USWNT lost to Mexico and almost didn’t qualify!  So you just never know.  But there’s absolutely no reason the team shouldn’t win the CONCACAF tournament.  They’ll certainly at least come in 2nd place and still qualify.

Whether or not Ali and Ashlyn make the Olympic roster is a much more difficult question.  I believe with all my heart that the team is better with them both on it.  They’re excellent players who could both still start (in my opinion anyway), and even more importantly, they’re experienced veterans who know what it’s like to play and win on the biggest stages.  They were also both part of the 2016 Olympic team (Ashlyn was one of the alternates and Ali made her first Olympic squad ever - she missed the 2012 squad because of her knee injury) and I think it’s important to bring many of those players back so they will give it everything they’ve got to erase the embarrassment of their worst finish ever in Rio.  I’m hoping Ashlyn will get an official spot this time around because I believe she deserves it.  I personally think she’s a better keeper than Alyssa but I know most people disagree.  I watched Alyssa when she was with the Boston Breakers and she’s a great keeper, but she’s not nearly vocal or bossy enough back there.  She never has been and I don’t think she ever will be.  It’s just not in her DNA.  Her timidity back there is why a lot of the miscommunications happen along the backline.  It’s Alyssa’s job to tell them all exactly what to do.  Anyway, I digress.  Ashlyn should make the team as the 2nd keeper because she’s the only one with any true leadership skills.  You’ll notice that most of the time Jill Ellis tried some crazy grouping of newbies on the backline over the past 2-3 years she had Ashlyn in goal.  Alyssa almost always gets the best and most experienced defenders on her backlines.  This is certainly not always the case, but it does happen more often than not.  So I think Ashlyn should make the Olympic roster.  It’ll be her first time and I’ll be super stoked for her.

I also think Ali should make the squad.  She’s certainly good enough to play on that backline.  She more than proved that at the World Cup.  All the horseshit US Soccer and Jill Ellis tried to feed everybody about how old and slow Kriegs was over the past 2-½ years was exposed as exactly that - horseshit.  I think Ali is a better outside back than Sonnett and Davidson (and Purce for that matter too).  I think Crystal Dunn did a fabulous job at LB at the WC and I think Casey Short would be a great backup for her.  I think Kelley O’Hara is the starter at RB and nobody is going to change that.  US Soccer markets her like crazy and I just don’t see anybody taking that spot from her.  I still think Ali is a better defender than KO, all day every day.  But I agree that KO is a better offensive player than Ali is.  It depends on what the coach is looking for.  It’s just that simple.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Ali was the first and only defender off the bench in the biggest games in the World Cup.  That says it all right there really.  Why would you not bring her to the Olympics with you too?  Also, on a side note, I think Kelley’s too aggressive and reckless to be a starting defender.  I feel the same way about Sonnett too.  You shouldn’t have to worry about your defenders getting yellow cards.  You want your defenders to be solid back there and tough, no doubt, but you have to be able to rely on them for the full 90.  And if a player has to change the way they’re playing the game to avoid getting a second yellow card and leaving the team down to 10 players, then that’s a problem.  That’s just my take on defense in general.  Ali plays tough, physical, aggressive defense - that’s what attracted me to her in the very first place back in 2011 at that World Cup.  But she rarely commits a foul and hardly ever gets a card.  That’s how I like my defenders.  But that’s just me.  Another good thing for Ali is that she can play Center Back too.  She’s played CB quite often for the Pride in the NWSL over the past couple of years and she does a really good job of it.  A lot of people assume it’s because she was too slow and old to play RB anymore.  But that’s simply not the case.  Tom Sermanni moved her to CB because she was easily the best defender on the team and he wanted her in a more centralized position so she could help more on defense and so she could lead and command more from that centralized position.  She’s also really fast and he wanted her to play there in CB because the other CBs on the team were kind of slow.  Zadorsky isn’t slow though, but she wasn’t there when Sermanni made the move.  We all know how dynamic Ali can be from that RB position and she still sends in some of the best crosses in the game, NWSL or USWNT.  If the Pride ever get a decent backline again, Ali might move back to RB where she truly excels.  

The point is, she can play multiple roles along the backline and that’s a big asset for her when it comes to making the Olympic roster.  Instead of taking 23 players (20 field players and 3 keepers) like we do for the World Cup, we only get to take 18 players to the Olympics.  16 field players and 2 keepers.  Nobody knows what Vlatko’s going to do because he’s too new to get a feel for yet, but making the Olympic roster is one of the hardest things to do for the USWNT players.  Theoretically, you could take the WC roster and eliminate 1 keeper and 4 field players and you’d be all set.  But that alone is a difficult task.  Add to that the players who just missed the cut for the WC, like Casey Short, and the decision gets even harder to make.  Players like Julie Ertz and Crystal Dunn and Ali Krieger who can play multiple positions become very valuable now.  

And for God’s sake, everybody has to be healthy!!  Ellis screwed up big time in 2016 by bringing Megan Rapinoe who wasn’t ready to come back after her torn ACL.  It was ridiculous.  I love Pinoe - I truly do.  But she wasn’t healthy and shouldn’t have taken up a roster spot.  I hope Vlatko doesn’t do the same thing with Alex Morgan after she has her baby.  I love Morgan too, more than most people do, and I think she makes the team better just by being on the field and keeping the defense honest so the other players have room to do their thing and score goals.  I think Morgan is one of the most selfless strikers I’ve ever seen and she gets crap for it all the time.  The stats don’t show it but she changes the game just by being out there and keeping defenders busy and opening up space and setting plays up.  She’ll never get the credit she deserves for that either.  Anyway, I love her ok?  But if she’s not 100% then I don’t want her on the team.  Period.  End of story.  I know Sydney Leroux just came back after giving birth and played in the NWSL 3 months afrer having her daughter, but ask Syd how she did after having her first baby?  Syd was able to do that because she knew what her body needed after pregnancy beause she’d done it already before.  Morgan is an amazing athlete and I’ll be thrilled for her if she can do it, but I also don’t want her to try so hard either.  You just had your first baby.  Relax and enjoy it.  You’ve already got an Olympic gold medal, you know?  Here’s another advantage for Ali Krieger - Kelley O’Hara is injury-prone and can’t stay healthy these days.  That’s a big risk to take with you into the Olympics.  We’re gonna need a really good backup for her.  Ali Krieger.

So this is a whole lot of words to say I don’t know if Ali or Ashlyn will make the Olympic roster.  They both deserve to be there.  I think the team will benefit greatly from having them both there.  But we’re just gonna have to wait and see what Vlatko does.

Here’s what I think I’d like to see for my Olympic roster:

Strikers/Wingers: Rapinoe, Heath, Press,  Lloyd, Pugh

MF: Lavelle, Ertz, Horan, Mewis, Brian

D: Dunn, Sauerbrunn, Dahlkemper, O’Hara, Krieger, Short

GK: Naeher, Harris

cut from WC roster: Franch, Sonnett, Davidson, Long, MacDonald, Morgan (I know this is 6 players, but I put Casey Short into the roster instead of Sonnett)

Morgan Brian has been playing really well lately so I think I’d take her instead of Allie Long right now.  I personally don’t like Pugh very much - I don’t think she’s improved at all since she started playing with the team in 2105/2016.  I honestly would take MacDonald over Pugh but that’ll never happen in a million years.  And I really like Tierna Davidson a lot.  I like her much better at CB and I would seriously consider taking her over Dahlkemper because I’m not a huge Dahlkemper fan to begin wtih.  But, again, that’ll never happen.  Although who knows?  Jill Ellis got rid of Ali Krieger for less reason so who the hell knows?  I like bringing 6 defenders because Crystal Dunn could slide up into MF or Forward if necessary during the Olympics.  She’s the ultimate utility player who can kick ass on any line on the pitch.  Legitimately.  And I don’t like when they move JJ back to CB because she’s so good at that holding midfield spot.  The team plays totally differently when she’s not in midfield (they play worse).  So take 6 defenders.  Keep JJ at MF and move Crystal around if injuries happen and we need another body up top for some reason.

There.  I’m done.  I’ll stop now.  Aren’t you sorry you asked?  lol

#the sea captain's house

[sidbridgecomedy]

It is Ever the Audience’s Fault?

Last night at my open mic show, a lot of comics placed blame on the audience for sets that didn’t go over well - enough that it made me want to try and sort out the age old question: It is ever the audience’s fault?

The easy answer is a resounding NO.

I’m not here to talk about the easy answer, though. Attempting to shame 25 hard-working open mic comics because they couldn’t connect with an audience won’t help anyone. Instead, I think it’s worth looking into a few scenarios where the makeup of the audience really does make it difficult to get laughs.

Let’s start with what we had last night:

1. STRANGE MIXTURE 

It comes with the territory at an established comedy club’s open mic - the audience is made up mostly of people who came to see their friend perform. Usually, it’s the first-timers who bring the people. We had a good sized group on one side of the room who came to see a comic who was going near the end of the show (Poor guy showed up late for signup, but I had mercy on him and tacked him on towards the end). 

On the other side of the room was a group of people who came for a different person. They were complete opposites. One side of the room had a Trump fan and the other side had an urban feel. Neither reacted particularly well to offensive comedy. 

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: When the audience disagrees about what’s funny, the laughs suffer. When Trump guy laughs, the rest of the room gets uncomfortable. The tension builds until nobody wants to laugh anymore.

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: Yes, but maybe not all of them at once. You may want to focus your audience read on what you perceive is the majority opinion in the room. Or do your best to find the common ground. It’ll be tough - especially at an open mic where you only have a few minutes on stage.

2. JUST THERE FOR A FRIEND

Little Joey wants to try comedy for the first time. He knows he’s gonna be HILARIOUS, so he invites mom, dad, uncle Earl, his entire high school clique and two or three girls he suspects will be so enamored of his comedy that he is definitely gonna get laid after the show.

The eagle-eyed host notices that he brought a lot of people and puts him near the end so the friends won’t walk out on the rest of the comics as soon as Little Joey leaves the stage. 

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: They came to laugh at Little Joey. They see the rest of the performers as an inconvenience they need to sit through before they can finally see their boy do his thing. 

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: Yes. Hopefully. Bring your energy and your most professional stage outlook, and you can get them to forget about Little Joey for a minute and focus on you. Unfortunately, it may mean giving up on the new material you wanted to workshop and focusing on winning the audience instead - a decision you may choose to forgo in favor of honing that new material. Sadly, when poor Little Joey bombs, they will either pity laugh through his set, or spend the rest of the show consoling him. While this audience may be hard to win over, they may be worth it - if they came for an open mic featuring their special little boy, but ended up having a hilarious night of entertainment, they may decide to come back without Little Joey next time and just plain enjoy the show.

3. THEY GOT AMBUSHED

Let’s venture outside comedy clubs for a minute. Your friend is hosting an open mic at Butt Roaster’s Bar & Grill and he wants you there because you’re funny and it’ll help kick off the show. Unfortunately, nobody told the regulars that a comedy show would be breaking out at their favorite place to get a PBR and watch that exciting Sports Ball game. When the TV’s get muted, the lights go down, and the comedy starts, THEY WILL NOT GIVE A ****.

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: These guys came to drink, watch sports and talk to their friends. No comedy show is gonna stop that. You are truly screwing up their plans for the evening and you’re kind of the bad guy as far as they are concerned.

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: Sometimes you can. It takes a few gifts. You need to be loud, aggressive, and maybe a little empathetic. Sometimes diving down to their level grabs their attention and makes them enjoy the show. Sometimes it just makes things worse and they become active hecklers.

4. THEY HATE YOUR GUTS

I know we all want peace and love to prevail, but anybody who lives in the real world knows we have a long way to go. I’ve been pretty fortunate as a comic who visibly wears a Yarmulke - a strong sign of Judaism - on stage, but I have gone up in front of audiences that included antisemitic people. They had no interest in laughing. There’s a ton of reasons an audience can decide to hate a comic - race, religion, gender, attitude, clothing, political opinions - you name it. 

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: They are making a statement. I once saw a good friend on stage use some material that - by today’s standards - a lot of people would consider culturally insensitive. This particular audience got quite offended and made a conscious decision to shut down the rest of his set. They sat, arms folded, refusing to laugh at anything. They were making a quiet but powerful statement.

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: Hopefully you can. It takes a certain level of emotional strength to overcome a prejudice or to win back a group of people you offended. If you offended the audience, you’re going to have to acknowledge it somehow and work to win them back. I’ve seen this done two ways - 1. By apologizing and switching to less offensive material and 2. By doubling down with some other kind of offensive material to show the absurdness of getting offended (this is an advanced technique. Don’t try it if you’re new). If you’re overcoming a prejudiced audience, sometimes you just need to soldier through the set until you find common ground. You may also be able to win them by poking fun at yourself a bit, but don’t overdo self-deprecation - it just confirms their biases unfortunately.

5. THERE’S NO AUDIENCE

I shouldn’t have to write this section, but let’s be thorough. For whatever reason, nobody but a few comics showed up. Maybe there’s one guy. I don’t know why you decided to still have the show, but you’re there. You’ve got material you want to use and the microphone works, so you take the stage, hoping against hope that the audience will filter in as the show wears on. They don’t.

WHY THEY DON’T LAUGH: They don’t exist. It would be more disturbing if you heard laughter. I think that’s a sign of a psychological issue. Even if one guy is there, he’s going to be scared to death to laugh to loud because he’ll look like an idiot. Maybe the other comics will laugh, but they’ve heard your material so many times it really doesn’t count. You know what their laughs sound like, so you can tell. 

CAN YOU MAKE THEM LAUGH: No. They aren’t present. This time you really did find an audience that you can blame your failure on. Damn those empty chairs and their mocking tone!!!

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

So is there really a bad audience? Yeah, maybe it seemed like it at my open mic last night. My set certainly didn’t go over as well as I hoped, but I still can’t place all the blame on the audience - especially at an open mic night where there’s a mixture of good and bad performers. They may have been difficult, but not impossible - several comics got big laughs out of them. Most of us didn’t.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

If there was one thing that left a bad taste in my mouth from last night - and I’m as much to blame as the rest of the comics - it’s how many people laid blame on the audience from the stage. When the audience is difficult, it’s really tempting to let them know how bad they are. The problem at an open mic is that once one comic does it, the others start joining in. By the end of the show, it felt like ten different comics had crapped on the audience. Whether the audience sucks or not, they will certainly start to believe what we tell them over and over again. 

Don’t get me wrong - when an audience is misbehaving, they need to be chastised. Hecklers need to be told to stop and sometimes the host needs to have a quick “time out” to remind the audience how to behave in a comedy club. If that needs to happen, it should be brief. Browbeating the audience will just lead to an adversarial relationship and it’ll make things worse. Plus, they will tell others about their comedy show experience and make life worse for the club.

In short, if you think an audience sucks, don’t blast them from the stage - do your best to win them over. Heck, tell them you are going to win them over by the end of your set - then do it. Even if you can’t win them over, do your material. Do it like a pro and accept the lack of laughter with grace. Sometimes you don’t know what their hidden problems are. If someone in the crowd is sad because of a tragic incident, they may be dragging everyone down. Even if they don’t laugh, they may appreciate your graciousness and come back again thanks to the positive (though laughter-free) experience.

And keep working!

#Comedy StandupComedy

[itzsci]

“This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. This. Isn’t. Happening!”

In a line packed full of fifty or so students a young seventeen year old named Lucy could be found, cradling her neck with both hands as she attempted to hide the prominent thirteen that could be seen on her pale white skin. 

Desperately trying (and failing) to make as much room as possible between her and the boy in front, she shuffled and squirmed in her spot in line though soon found herself under scrutiny when all that managed to do was accidentally shove into him from behind. The boy, a whole year younger than she was, muttered something underneath his breath but decided not to turn around and confront her like she supposed he would have done if she was somebody else. 

“I guess popularity does come with some benefits.” Lucy muttered as she watched somebody else being called up to the stage to be Marked.

                                                       -------------

He couldn’t believe this was happening! And he wasn’t going to stop it!

Was he really going to ruin somebody’s life?

Dave squirmed uncomfortably as he watched Lucy, who was stood a little way ahead of him, anxiously shuffle and move around for the hundredth time in a row.

This was all his fault.

It was supposed to be an harmless prank, something his best friend had dared him to do. Yes, he could have ignored it but in his defence - it hadn’t seemed such a bad idea, at the time.

The idea had come about the night before. He had been out partying with his friends when Tom, his best friend and right hand man, suggested it. Mark someone with the Unlucky number thirteen and watch them panic. Then, when they had been fully entertained, they would announce the prank and everybody would get a good laugh.

No harm, no foul..right?

Because ever since he had been marked two days ago - the number thirteen written in gold that shimmered against his pale neck - he had been dreaming about doing something ultra manic just to prove he wasn’t going soft. Sick of being ridiculed and mocked by everybody and very nearly kicked out of house and home, he needed to show his family and friends that the Mark was wrong. He was not a good person. 

Just look how many times he had gotten in trouble with the law!

“Hey, look at Lucy. Trying to hide the mark like if it’s actually real!” Tom sniggered from his place in front of Dave. 

“Yeah. Funny that.”

Tom gave him a curious glance, peering behind him as his less enthusiastic friend. He poked him curiously. “What’s with you, Dave?”

“I just.” Dave stopped. No, he couldn’t voice this, it would make him look weak.

“Nothing.” He finally muttered.

                                                     - - - - - - - - - -

“Lucy Adir.”

Oh crap. Oh no. Oh god.

Everyone turned to Lucy, looking at her expectingly as she stood there like a deer trapped in headlights. She knew she needed to go up on the stage but once she did, all hell was going to break loose. She didn’t want that to happen! Not to these innocent people.

When she still hadn’t moved, people began nudging her trying to encourage her to go. Shaking slightly, she slowly made her way up to the stage where all the teachers sat waiting, greeting her with warm smiles. She hated to think she was going to disappoint them now.

“Don’t worry, we know you’ll be Lucky.” One of them whispered, winking at her as she walked past.

Right. Yeah, of course. 

Of course everyone expected her to be - her whole life, her whole teachings was to do with being Lucky. She was was born to be one, just like her Mother and Father was before her. It was practically a sure thing at this point.

Because being Lucky made way for everything else. With it meant being rewarded as a model citizen, a highly successful high functioning part of society and her dreams could be put into action. It meant she could land her dream job, her dream house, car and hopefully soulmate.

But somehow, with one little mark on her neck, it wasn’t meant to be.

Lucy didn’t understand why. She was a model student, a good friend and she always tried to help people. She never put a toe out of line, never mean to anybody and have never - ever - got in trouble with the law. 

So why had she been Marked so wrong? 

Finally arriving to the middle of the stage she couldn’t help but let out a shaky breath before glancing out towards all of her peers. Realising she was still clutching her neck she quickly removed her hands knowing that this was it. She couldn’t hide the mark any longer. They were all going to see it.

Her time was up. 

She closed her eyes in anticipation. 

                                                    - - - - - - - - - -

It was time.

It was now or never.

He couldn’t do this.

They barely begun before suddenly and unexpectedly Dave called out, stopping the ceremony. Everybody turned, shocked anyone would do such a thing though rolled their eyes when they realised it was him. 

“What are you doing?” Tom hissed turning towards him, anger seeping through his voice.

“I can’t ruin her life!”

“You do this and you ruin the whole thing. Just let it be.”

“No.” Dave said. “She’s innocent, not one of us.”

He turned away from his best friend, opening his mouth to continue. He was going to do the right thing for once. 

                                                   - - - - - - - - - -

At first Lucy wasn’t sure why the ceremony had stopped. Wondering whether somebody had spotted the Mark, she quickly opened her eyes expectingly though was surprised when she noticed the attention was not on her but two boys - Tom and Dave. 

They were whispering angrily to each other, disagreeing over something though she couldn’t be sure what. For some reason, seeing these two stirred something inside her and she bared her teeth in anger. Something she had never done before. Because of course he would be here trying to ruin everything. It was most likely to distract them whilst another one of their crew started the pranks. Just like they always did.

Could he not see that today of all days they didn’t need it? That chaos was going to be caused anyway so they might as well take a step back? No, of course not. They always were hungry for the limelight.

But not this time.

All at once, she felt the weight and responsibility lift off her shoulders for the first time, ever. It was like a shackle that was permanently holding her, had finally snapped and now she could be whoever she wanted to be, do whatever she wanted. 

And what she wanted right now was to cause some mayhem. 

(Was she..warming up to this idea? Why did she suddenly want to hurt people?)

Without missing a beat, she sailed forward startling the crowd. 

Inside she knew this wasn’t her, wasn’t what she meant to do but the anger and power overtook her mind, releasing everything she kept inside for so long. She never experienced this anger before and it felt so good.

She didn’t know what she was doing or who she was targeting. All she knew is she wanted to cause destruction. This was all she ever wanted.

“Lucy, no!”

                                                      - - - - - - - - - -

How did this happen?

How had she turned when the mark was fake?! Did she really believe that she was bad that much that the Mark had actually worked?

“This is great!” Tom laughed, as he watched Penny wiz past and attack an innocent bystander. “She’s doing more damage than we could ever make in a week!”

Dave turned to him, angrily. “You’re okay with this?!”

“Dude. We were meant to do things like this.”

“But I’m not.” Dave said, pointing to his neck.This was the first time he had ever accepted his mark and for reasons unknown to him, he felt something stir inside of him. 

“Bro-WATCH OUT.” Before he could say anything, Tom fell to the floor. In a blink of an eye, Lucy was in front of Dave, snarling at him angrily.  Before he could even speak, she grabbed him by the shoulders, fist raised. 

“Lucy. Stop.” 

“Why should I?” She snarled back.

He didn’t respond at first, taken aback by the voice that was known around school to be kind and sweet now sounding more demonic.

“Because this isn’t you. This isn’t the person you are.” 

“How do you know what is and isn’t me. You don’t know me.”

“I don’t. But listen. I can tell, this isn’t you! That dark mark on you was hand drawn, out of anger. I’m sorry but this is all fake!”

“Lies!” She shouted.

“I’m sorry! This wasn’t meant to happen! I drew your mark on for you but this isn’t you!”

“You’ve ruined my life because of a stupid prank! Do you think they’ll accept me now? After all this? Don’t make me laugh with your apology. I know you’re not sorry.” She responded.

Briefly Lucy paused tilting her head. Her expression changed, anger turning into confusion for a second like she didn’t understand what had gotten her here. Then, something changed and letting out another snarl she said “But oh, you will be.”

Without missing a beat she grabbed him before suddenly taking off into the air with Dave in tow. 

#fantasy #My writing #just practice of my writing #writing #writing blog #writer #write #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #writeblr #freewrite #writers #writersontumblr #marked #unlucky #unlucky number thirteen #oh what could go wrong #writingblog #writerblog #writblr

[kpop-imagine-reaction]

BTS React to:

Their s/o usually being very calm other people, but as soon as someone talks shit about BTS they go from 0 to “i will fight you” really quick (Requested)

V(Taehyung) ~ V spent a good amount of time in your relationship trying to pull you out of your little shell. He loves you anyway of course, but you had a difficult time opening up to people. It’s not like you were ashamed of your personality, you were a very confident girl. You just preferred to keep to yourself. One particular day, you really threw V for a loop. You had to travel back to your hometown of LA for a family wedding, you were the maid of honor so you had been gone for two months. Taehyung was planning to come to LA at the end of the two months and bring you back to Seoul with him. You were planning to meet him at your favorite restaurant, and have a nice meal before traveling. You were seated in a little corner booth, Taehyung’s blonde hair and tan skin shone out against the surrounding Americans in the restaurant. You already saw him getting some “foreign” looks from a table of girls nearby. When it was time to order, V sat up brightly. This little cutie had been working on his English so he could speak your language while in your country. “I want… eh…” he began, “sheese? Sheese?” He looked at you for help. “Cheeseburger?” You smiled. “Sheesedurger!” He shouted with a huge smile handing the waitress his menu. Just then you and Taehyung heard giggling and chatter and turned to see the girls at the table snickering and pointing at Taehyung. One girl even copied his accent while squinting her eyes. He turned back around obviously a little deflated. He swallowed slowly trying to ignore what had happened. That was the last straw. “You racist bitch!” You halfshouted to their table. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” They turned to you with shocked faces. “Oh- we-” they stuttered. “You think because you speak English you’re so much better than him? *In Korean* Can you speak Korean?” You asked sassily. Tae gave you a little smirk and turned to face the girls too. “He’s Korean, you need to learn to respect other fucking cultures instead of staying in your little English bubble.” They turned back ignoring you, embarrassed with red faces. “Jagi, that was crazy.” Tae laughed. “I have never seen you like this before.” “I’m sorry, I know.  I just could not handle that. Sometimes my culture can be so arrogant.” “What no that was amazing!” He reached across the table and patted your arm. “I guess I don’t need to be so worried when you have to be here on your own.” He winked.

Suga(Yoongi)- You were the typical shy quiet girlfriend. You were just the one who the public always spotted walking with Suga holding onto his arm. That’s all anybody knew about you. One day when you were walking with Suga to the parking lot after a fansign like you usually do, a group of girls passed by. These girls were clearly not BTS fans and they were very vocal about it. They seemed to know who Suga was though as they uttered the foulest comment about him that threw you completely over the edge. “What the fuck did you just say about him?” You screamed as you sized up the little dongsaeng who was talking shit about your boyfriend and his band. You made your point clear because the bad mouthing little pricks were turning around like puppies with their tails between their legs. “That’s what I thought.” You said turning back around to Suga who was standing back in amazement. “I’m sorry about that. I couldn’t take that any longer. I hope I didn’t embarrass you.” You became very shy again. “Embarrass me? No, baby, you just made me so proud. And here I thought you were a softy.” He said as he put his arm around your waist pulling you into his embrace. “My baby is a fucking bad ass!” Placing his arm proudly on your shoulders as the two of you resumed your walk.

Rapmon(Namjoon)- "Oh look at this, Namjoon!" You said as you eagerly pulled him towards the shop window. He was showing you his hometown today, your first time visiting there with him. "Aww, yeah it's a cat." Rapmon said as he looked in the store window and saw the humidifier shaped like a kitten. You gazed at the little pink kitty spouting steam out its ears. He grabbed your hand and guided you past the window down the street. It was chilly, still early in the day. You cuddled in close to Rapmon and he held your waist tightly. While walking Rapmon accidentally bumped shoulders with a guy passing. "Woah, dude you need to watch where your going!" He shouted in Korean. "Ahh, sorry man." Rapmon calmly answered. You were a bit tense, you noticed a look in the stranger's eye that frightened you. "Hey, you're an idol aren't you?" He asked rudely. Rapmon stood a little taller, as if he knew what was coming. "You know, your group really sucks! Copying others songs I heard, you really don't deserve to be an artist at all. Your music is crap." He added. "I don't know you, but you know my name..." Rapmon spoke out smoothly. "What was that?" The stranger asked creeping closer to Namjoon. "Fuck off!" You found yourself answering. You were not one to go and be forceful, normally you were very chill and reserved. But this guy, was just getting to you. "Y/n, no it's not worth it." He grabbed your waist tighter and pulled you back. "Can't even control your whore I see! Haha, just like the rest of your fucked up life." You stared at Rapmon practically begging him to let you at him. He raised his eyebrows, and released you. In a flash you shoved the stranger in his chest, "Fuck off!" You yelled again. "What gives you the right to judge someone else?! What makes you better than him?!" He tried to grab your arm but you were too quick. You slapped him right across the face. Holding his cheek, he shot Rapmon a look of disgust. "Are you going to do something about her?!" He shot out. "Why should I? Scared she's going to kick your ass?" He smirked. "You said yourself, I can't even control my girl. Well now, I don't need to." The rude stranger shoved his hair out of his face and trudged off without looking back at the two of you. Smiling, you found yourself back to Namjoons arm. "That was stupid, jagi." He finally said. "I know, I just, couldn't handle him saying that." "It was so unlike you. I mean, it was fabulous, just different." He laughed a little.

Jungkook- You and Jungkook were the cutest couple around.  You loved being around each other.  You loved going to the amusement park and to the skate park anywhere you could just mess around and have fun.  On this particular day, you two decided to go to the skate park so Jungkook could teach you to do some tricks.  He had finally taught you how to ride a skateboard and now it was the next step.  He was confident that you could master a kick flip. You disagreed but went anyway. “You just jump and kick the board like this and land right over here.” Jungkook did this so easily.  You were confident you would fail, but tried anyway.  After a few dozen falls, you had confirmed your suspicion. “I can’t do this.  I really am not coordinated enough.” “Sure you are.  You just have to try again.” “Uh.  Fine.”  You got up again and failed again.  This time though, you had a little following.  A group of guys decided that your failure was somehow amusing to them. You decided to ignore the laughter and keep your boyfriend happy.  The more you tried and failed, the more your audience jeered and laughed.  You had had enough. You walked over to the group of guys. “Is this amusing you?” “Actually yeah.  You suck.”  “Well you know what. So do you. I have had enough.” Just when you lifted your arm to throw a punch, someone beat you to it.  Jungkook had followed you and decided to throw the first punch.  After a few more punches, the guys walked away. “I was handling myself you know.” “Oh I know, I just couldn’t let you have all the fun.”

~Admin Tazza & Rae

#bangtan boys #bts #rap monster #suga #taehyung #bts reactions #jungkook