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sophsicle · 10 months

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Dial Drunk

He's drunk.

"James--"

Sober enough to know he's drunk. But drunk enough not to care.

"James please--"

Sober enough to hear the crack in Remus's voice. But drunk enough not to stop.

"I want to call him," he says, defiant. Childish. It feels good to say those words. He doesn't know why he didn't do this before. It seems so simple now. "I want to call him."

Sirius is across the room. A few seconds ago he'd been on James's other side, holding his arm, helping Remus pull him to his feet. He isn't touching James anymore.

"Where's my phone?" his words are a little thick. A little slurred. The world around him blurry in a way that makes his stomach squirm.

"I don't know," Remus mutters, struggling to support James all on his own. "Here, will you just sit down please? Sirius, maybe get him some water?"

"Sirius where's my fucking phone?" because he knows Sirius knows. Because he wants Sirius to look at him. Because he wants Sirius to feel this too.

Predictably, Sirius doesn't answer either of them. All James can see is his best friend's back, his vision splitting him in two. Sirius has always been good at blocking out the things he doesn't want to hear. Which might be the most unkind thing James has ever thought about him.

"James please sit down," Remus tries to guide him towards the nearest chair but he's not going. They found him on the floor, and he'd been happy to stay there. But now. Now he has a mission.

"I want to call him, get me my phone!"

"Christ James," Remus hisses under his breath, pleading. He wants James to stop. But the whiskey in his blood has other plans. "What's going on with you tonight? I mean, should we be--should we be worried? Were you trying to hurt yourself or--"

"Oh fuck off!"

He sees the surprise on Remus's face, thinks about apologizing, but his thoughts are watery and hard to hold.

"I want to call him," he repeats instead. It's the one thing keeping him standing.

"Yeah we heard you," Sirius says finally, his voice is thin, cold. It's enough to get James's attention, even in his current state. "But you can't call him."

Something pointy and sharp pricksJames's chest but he shakes his head, ignoring it. "I know the number by heart," his drunken mind supplies helpfully.

"James," his name sounds so sad in Remus's voice.

"I'm sure you do," he thinks Sirius laughs. It's not a pleasant noise.

"Just give--give me my phone? He'll pick up. He always picks up when it's me. I want to call him. Let me c-call. I want--"

"You. Can't."

Sirius finally turns back around, he is so still and so stiff and James is so wobbly. He stumbles even though he's standing still, Remus fumbling to keep him upright.

"He'll pick up Sirius, he will. If it's me--"

"No."

"--he always--always--I need him. I need to tell him. I need to ta-talk. Please? Please I need--"

"You know why you can't call him."

"Sirius," Remus says warningly, but James doesn't think either of them are paying him any attention.

"I--don't have my phone." That makes Sirius frown harder but James doesn't care right now. "Just give me a phone. Any phone. I know his number. I--"

"You know why you can't call," Sirius repeats.

The pricking in his chest is getting worse. A stab. A slice. A tear. The sensation burns right through the alcohol. It demands to be felt. Demands to be heard.

"No," James repeats. "No I--no. No. no."

"He's--"

"Sirius!"

"--dead. He died."

"No!" James's voice is a terror. "I--no. I just need to call. Just let me have--the--cause I--and he'll pick up--he always--for me," he can't get them out, the words, the thoughts, his breath. He's choking on his own memories. His own grief. Shaking so bad he's surprised Remus is able to keep a hold of him.

"Regulus is dead. You can't call him. He won't pick up," Sirius sounds cold and distant. But then, he's always been like that about Regulus. James is on the ground again. The world in front of him blurry as Remus wraps his arms around him.

"You're a sloppy drunk James," is the last thing Sirius says before James hears the door closing.

The pain is deep and all consuming. It's been months. It's been years. It never stops. It never gets better. The minute the world gets still or quiet the grief is there. He feels like he spends every second of his life trying to outrun it. He's so tired. So fucking tired.

"I need to t-talk to him," he sobs, as Remus holds him tighter. "I can't never talk to him again. I can't. I have so much to say. I have so much--what am I supposed to do with this? What am I supposed to do with all this? I need to call him. Please. Please. I need him. I can't sleep. I can't eat. They're taking up all the space in me Remus. All these fucking--these fucking words. I need to call him. I need to. I need to. I can't bear this. I don't understand how I'm supposed to bear this?"

Remus kisses the top of his head. "Just breathe okay?" James doesn't think he's imagining the tremor in Remus's voice. "I just need you to breathe okay?"

But he can't.

He hasn't.

Not in months.

Not in years.

I'd die for you, he'd told Regulus once. And oh god did he mean it.

#welcome to another edition of #idk wtf this is #a scribble #pls enjoy #soph rambles #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #tw alcohol

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kbluebirdart · 2 years

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A snippet of something I’m working on lately

Take note : Horse can dislike a riding crop!

#wip #yup #I like to learn new things along with the stuff I wanted to draw #princess zelda #a scribble #this is silly thing I ever made once again #botw zelda

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epicsauce · 7 months

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text conversation from my dream that i desperately wish was real

#its 4m this is just scribbles but i hadddd to jot it down before i forgot #0600 #i cant get he's vagina? out of my head

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edgy-senju · 3 months

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Episode 8 was so fun!

Also angel Pentious would absolutely complain that he misses his Eggs at least 10 times a day.

[Commissions open!]

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #sir pentious #hazbin hotel sir pentious #Niffty #Hazbin hotel niffty #Emily #hazbin hotel emily #my art #doodles #angel pentious #hazbin hotel season 1 #shitpost #edge's scribbles

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krembruleed · 3 months

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astarion is cheating

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #wyll ravengard #karlach #astarion #shadowheart #lae'zel #halsin #half these fools cant lie worth fuck. terrible at cards smh #krem scribbles

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tildexart · 11 months

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them.

based on one tumblr post THAT I CAN’T FINDDDD if anyone knows what I’m talking about pls send it thank you thank you

#tildexart #hobie brown #spider punk #atsv hobie #pavitr prabhakar #spiderman india #miles morales #spider gwen #gwen stacy #across the spiderverse #spiderman atsv #astv #astv fanart #spiderman into the spiderverse #spiderverse #this was a scribble #my actual art is better I swear

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eggsdoodz · 10 months

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i love love <333

#illustrators on tumblr #doodle #sketchbook #scribbles #pencil drawing #eggsdoodz #love is real #you are here #you are loved #i love love #love poetry #doodles #artists on tumblr #pink art #cute art #art #painting #drawing #traditional art

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brawltogethernow · 26 days

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Waking up and opening my activity page on 4/1/24.

#boop #april fool's #april fools #scribbles by the proprietor

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humanmaybe · 3 months

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Some person in a plague mask handed me this… very professional business card. Idk guys think this is legit?

#ajxgsjzg ignore #this is a joke it’s fine 😂#I scribbled this at work it’s for a joke it’s ok hold on-#unreality #just in case

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scribbledghost · 8 days

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You're out walking yours and Simon's dog, Riley, one afternoon when some guy you've never met all but saunters up to you.

He tries to chat you up, laying the flirtation on so thick it congeals into sleaze. You shut him down bluntly at every turn, but unfortunately, he's... determined.

Riley growls as he takes a step closer, the retired military dog pushing himself in front of you with hackles raised and teeth bared.

And still, the stranger doesn't get the hint. He merely huffs out an amused laugh as he looks from Riley to you.

"Didn't realize you had a guard dog -"

Suddenly, his gaze wanders past you. The cocky grin on his face drains away in an instant as he pales.

Like he's seen a Ghost.

"She's got two, mate."

#guard dog simon my beloved #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost scribbles

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acatpiestuff · 6 months

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