#Zhao would have been beyond disappointed

[ask-ozai]

Why do you hate Ty Lee so much?

Who is Ty Lee?

If you mean Azula's traitorous team mate (who I'm pretty sure is named Ty Lemon) maybe betraying Azula and helping Zuko in his coup has something to do with it.

#And unlike Michi's daughter I'm pretty certain she did it on her own free will #That girl always had issues #Who runs away to join the circus when your family is one of the most prestigious in the nation and closer to the throne? #Zhao would have been beyond disappointed #Azula should have just replaced her with one of the other 6 and pretended nothing happened #ask ozai #Ozai #Ty Lee #Azula #atla #Avatar the last airbender

[georgealias]

i just finished watching the new netflix avatar the last airbender series immediately after binging the orginal show. i went into the live action with an open mind and still found myself to be profoundly disappointed. the first 2 episode are easily the highlights in terms or writing, directions, action, and changes (both new and subtracted material). it because very clear that the writing is the worst part of the show and it suffers drastically because of it. the characters are flat and 2 dimensional, barely reminiscent of the original show. sokka and zuko are, in my opinion, handled the best and still fall short. their actors have clearly been directed to tone down their performances for the sake of realism. i would argue that suki, a character we see only once in the first season of the original, is made better in the live action. she is provided a backstory and minor conflict with her mother that adds to her character’s motivations without taking away the reasons audiences liked her in the first place. something the show attempts, and fails, at doing with multiple characters. azula, zhao and yue are all expanded upon with mixed results.

azula is introduced a season early with the purpose of balancing out the relationship between zuko and ozai. the show wants the audience to understand the abuse, stress and self loathing that comes from being the golden child of a monster. but fails in capturing her ruthlessness and intelligence that makes her a formidable antagonist. the writing fails to let the audience figure out her character themselves, instead opting for bland dialogue that openly states how she feels about zuko and her father. the result is a well acted cosplay that leaves you lacking interest in seeing her arch playout.

zhao is a similar problem. the show has retconned his backstory, making it so azula is responisble for his promotions and his conflict with zuko is no longer a battle of strategy and intelligence. his alliance with azula sees her planing his moves out and leave the character with little to do on screen. add to the fact that the actor thought he was joining james cameron’s avatar and its obvious know one on set knew what to do with his character. by introducing azula early zhao is robbed of any potential as the seasons antagonist. his determination and lust for victory is forgotten and makes his plan to kill the moon spirit beyond suspension of disbelief. zhao’s arrogant, confidence is replaced with a overly ambitions fool that lucks his way into short lived victories. the invasion at the north pole is an exceptional example of this when he tells iroh we wouldnt kill the ocean spirit and subsequently all the water benders in the world because he isnt a monster. something the orginal zhao would not have hesitated to do if given the opportunity.

this bring us to yue. amber midthunder is the only redeemable quality of the character. she provides and warmth and believability to the character that makes it a joy to watch. however the writers have seen it fit to change most of her story as well as her relationship with sokka. her betrothal is no longer a issue in this show as she apparently broke it off a year early to become a priestess. not an unwelcome change but it eliminates any example of her being dedicated to her duty over self happiness. the very same thing that has her giving her life back to the moon spirit. without this perviously established character trait her sacrifice is left feeling hollow. the audience isnt alllowed to mourn her because we dont know her.

i could probably go on forever on how the show has failed almost every character, and in time i probably will. but i will end by saying that sometimes beloved pieces of media do not need to be adapted. they can just be remastered, simple as that.

#netflix avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender #atla #natla #netflix #how did they fumbled this twice

[thatdarnblogagain]

The Eternals: Let’s Talk about Phastos (Spoilers)

I am disappointed. Not in the movie. No, Chloe Zhao should hold her head up for crafting a flawed but still highly enjoyable movie. No, what I am disappointed in, is people. Much like Phastos played by Brian Tyree Henry, I sometimes feel myself losing faith in people. But we will get to him in a second. Let me explain why I feel the way I do.

Call me a SJW or Woke, fine, I think those terms are tossed around and misused anytime someone tries to do something different. This film has been reviewed so poorly by critics that I was shocked. 48% on Rotten Tomatoes? That is the worst any MCU film has been rated. That means it is worse than Captain Marvel! Worse than Captain “I have no personality” Marvel. But I still got my money and paid to watch it at the Drive-In with a friend. I remember saying to him, “How is this rated badly?” and he said, “People.”. People, that’s it. People see the need to push back against any and everything without having an unbiased view.

(Another review bomb huh?)

Phastos in the film is a gay man with a family. A black, gay man with a family who shares a brief kiss with his husband before going to try and save the world he gave up on, to ensure the people he loves are safe. The backlash for a gay superhero on screen is something to behold and people stated they would boycott the film over that kiss or an openly gay man on screen.

People are blaming the film’s poor score on that and are proud to see it failing because of it, if that is the case. “Take that LGBT...” wait no, “Take that alphabet community! Ha you will never learn!”. How dare a filmmaker in a movie show anything that is outside our norm? It is almost like films are supposed to just be what we want and nothing else.

So let’s go to reality. Now imagine this; a gay man enlists to fight in a war to keep his family safe. Someone says, “You’re gay? Get out of here!”. No question about his motivations, skill set, beliefs and what he can bring to the fight. No LGBT people allowed, is all there is to it,is what it seems.

(Phastos is by far the most inventive and intelligent Eternal...who’s gay.)

The reality of this is that, it is not woke, not sjw, not a propaganda piece. It is instead a REAL and TRUE message, that LGBT people do go to war, much like Phastos to protect people they care for. What is even more fascinating is that his sexuality is not his entire character. Far from. Phastos is not a stereotype or caricature.

It is not a crutch that he is balanced upon. As a black man I was happy to see another black man being the intelligent, inventive and nurturing type who could still fight when needed.  And when I say he can fight, he can fight, it may not be like Thena or Ikaris but he holds his own quite well when that time comes.

(”A happy child and a gay father!!! Impossible!!!” - Some critic)

For some reason we live in a world that thinks that you should only show the traditional nuclear family or at least make sure any romance on screen is one between a biological man and biological woman. Anything else is forcing a message down our throat and it’s an effect of going woke. It’s pandering! So much so that a brief kiss and an exchange of words has people up in arms.

Now for those who take umbrage with the character because he is not comic book accurate, I understand and can see where that would tick anyone off. To that I have no rebuttal beyond it being an adaptation and that comics have multiple variations of characters such as a gay wolverine in one timeline. That is not an excuse on my part to quell, any rage you feel just an example of interpretations of a one character differing.

(Bryan Tyree Henry did a fantastic job in the adaptation.)

I have seen the Phastos in the comics and he is very much the genius as well as inventor but unlike the one in the film he is much more physically imposing. He is also very much straight in the comics. There are other differences such as the comic version having access to far more powers such as flight but the film version seemed to attempt to make each Eternal seem unique in their skillsets.

But the core differences to Comic and Film Phastos is that one is more muscular and straight and the other is not muscular and is gay. Both are still intelligent, inventive individuals intent in their pursuit for creating something amazing for those around them.

(Looking at some of the comments in disbelief.)

Phastos in the film is by far the smartest Eternal which if I was a black parent I would be proud to show my child. He is a clearly a good father with no example of abuse to his partner or his child, having them in what seems like a middle to upper middle class neighborhood.

He is simply, gay. Gay people exist. Not thanks to the media, not thanks to a hollywood agenda. Gay people have existed for centuries. One critic stated, “They already got you but now they are coming for us!” as if Wesley Snipes did not portray a Drag Queen in a movie when I was but a wee baby.

(This scene cut so deeply.)

So my question is then, is it that people are angered by the inclusion of a gay man or having to contend with confronting that inclusion? Having to see something they have been fed is negative can in fact be positive. Are they angered that it is a reserved portrayal so that he appears as a gay man who is not characterized by that.

Do such people want only straight people on tv, especially when it is a black man? Then my question is who is in the fantasy world? The characters or the people living in the bubble that says any representation of LGBT is bad?

#phastos #marvel #Marvel Comics #marvel cinematic universe #the eternals #honest #ikaris #bryan tyree henry #chloe zhao

[avatraang]

2021 Year End Fic in Review

I haven’t seen this going around, so I’m starting it myself :))

How many stories did you complete?

7! they are as follows: worship the flame (azula x aang), a better companion (mai x aang), time is not a friend to them (kuzon x aang), intimacies only night air can bring (suki x aang), newness and change (sokka x toph), standing here, sharing (finnick x katniss), and the man on the moon (yue and zhao). pretty cool how many aang ship fics i wrote! love my king.

What is your total word count for the year?

32,082. Not that much in the grand scheme of things, but considering how busy and mentally overwhelmed i felt the majority of the time, I’m pretty proud of that!

What fandoms did you write in this year?

lmao, i deviated from last year and wrote one (1) fic that wasnt in the atla fandom. yay me! so, six atla fics and one thg fic. 😎

Did you write more, less, or roughly about what you expected?

More! I kept feeling like I couldn’t make one fic possible, but then I’d suddenly be overwhelmed by a surge of creative energy or my partner and friends would motivate me beyond belief and boom, the fic would be complete and I’d have started a new one. So yeah, definitely more, which is awesome 🥰

What’s your own favorite story of this year?

worship the flame. this fic took me the longest out of them all to write (the second one being my sukaang fic), and it’s because i had all these azulaang thoughts ruminating until i finally said “fuck it” and wrote it all. literally took me like, five months of thinking before i finally did it! but i’m so glad i did, because it’s definitely this year’s fave and a fave overall.

What is your most under appreciated story of the year?

standing here, sharing and the man on the moon have the least amount of kudos, but i attribute that to them both being new fics and being very rare pieces in their respective fandoms. honestly, it’s my tokka fic that is the most under appreciated this year imho. newness and change was published November 11th, but the stats are really off compared to the usual amount for tokka fics. In comparison to the sukaang fic I published a month prior, that fic has one more ku do than the tokka fic, and one more comment. Which isn’t a lot, but when you think about how sukaang is very much a rarepair while tokka isn’t, it is a big jump in stats. It kinda disappointed me that not many people are enjoying newness and change, because i worked super hard on that fic and it’s probably the fic i’m proudest of, second only to worship the flame. ultimately though, even though i perceive it as being under appreciated because of how much i love the fic, it’s alright. I’ll read it and enjoy it myself 🤣

What’s your most appreciated story of 2021?

worship the flame. it’s got the most kudos, bookmarks, comments, and hits. granted, it has been published longer, but i also think the success is deserved and warranted regardless of how long the world has had with it. definitely deserved, imho!

Biggest fanfic related disappointment of 2021?

That I couldn’t find that many everdair fics!! I thought for sure that finnick and katniss would’ve been popular in the thg fanfic world, at least as friends, but I was mistaken. That’s partly why I wrote my own everdair fic: standing here, sharing —it broke my heart that there aren’t many out there and i sorely want to help fix that.

Biggest fanfic related surprise of 2021?

the response on my kuzaang fic. I did not expect it to be as popular as it is! when i published time is not a friend to them, i thought for sure it would pass by the fandom like a ship in the night and be the quietest of the fics in the aang x everyone series that it belongs to. but no, it’s got pretty good stats and was very well received. super surprising but very happy it is so well liked!

Something you are looking forward to working on in 2022?

I’ve got some stuff that didn’t make the cut to getting published this year. Things that have yet to make it on paper and things that have yet to be completed. I’m looking forward to completing them in 2022, or at least getting more of it done, and of having fun discussing the process with my friends while i do so. That’s probably one of my favorite parts of writing in general, not just fic, and also one of the most motivating parts —talking about each other’s work with your friends or partner. I cannot wait to do this and more in the coming year. Cheers to ao3 2021 🥂, and greetings to ao3 2022 🤟🏼!

Tagging: @cats-and-metersticks @shifuaang @thetpot @twinkle-toph @azulaang-chakras

#ao3 #ao3 year in review #my fics #love y’all! thank u for all the love and support #fanfiction #tag meme #writer tag

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: episode 10

The tone of this recap is going to be the crackiest so far. The production quality plummets dramatically here, in a way which is as unintentionally hilarious as it is endearing. I have very little of import to say on events of this episode, and there is nothing much for me to hyper focus on, so a lot of this write-up are snark and bad jokes. Apologies in advance. I would not be getting annoyed at a show I did not care about. 

Day two of the Road Trip starts with Zhao Yunlan waking up with a splitting headache and his own jacket draped carefully over him. I choose to believe Shen Wei left it there. 

Zhao Yunlan wakes up - and discovers that Wang Zheng had slipped a sedative into the party’s water, effectively knocking them all out. He even discovers that she left her doll-body behind as a decoy; thankfully, it’s still Li Siqi and not the blow-up doll from the previous episode. 

With the daunting realisation that he’s been betrayed, Zhao Yunlan instantly spirals into hurt and anger, and this is the moment Shen Wei chooses to appear out to nowhere. He enters offering comfort, his entire focus on making Zhao Yunlan feel better by assuring the man that his subordinate is not one of the bad guys, but rather one of the self-sacrificing ones. How SID manages to function when it’s full of people with non-existent sense of self-preservation is beyond me. 

“Professor Shen, why are you okay?”

Zhu Hong narrows her eyes. Zhao Yunlan’s look is the one of vulnerability, not suspicion, almost as if he is silently asking to please not be betrayed by his newest partner.

“I didn’t drink the water she gave me.”

Another thing I would like to question here is the reasoning behind Shen Wei waiting until the morning with this. He knew that Wang Zheng was about to do something, since he refrained from drinking the water she offered. Everyone else being unconscious would be a perfect opportunity for him to go full Hei Pao Shi on her, or follow her quietly, or do literally anything but wait for the morning. 

“What is your purpose of coming here?” Shen Wei asks because he needs to know how much Zhao Yunlan knows. He does so with a perfect set of puppy eyes. 

We cut to Wang Zheng entering the chamber which houses the pillar/totem, and witness the absolute devastation of her hearing her love’s voice for the first time in a century, as he mistakes her for the enemy and calls her a rat.

I should say that while I’m not always on board with Li Siqi in this show, props to her for acting her heart out opposite a literal pillar. Her reunion with Sang Zan is incredibly touching; she really is wonderful here.

Flashback 1. The execution of Ge Lan. 

This method of execution seems so inefficient, I actually tried to find if it has any legs in history. As my research yielded exactly no results, I am guessing this is the producers showing hanging without actually showing hanging. They kind of accidentally made the whole affair infinitely worse. People are weaker than gravity, the angle offers no possibility of the neck being broken, so this would be a very slow, and very painful death. Yikes, is all I can say. 

Flashback 2. The montage. 

Sigh.

This imagery is so carelessly contemporary it’s killing me. I’m not saying it’s completely impossible for the heart shape to have been known to represent love in this fictional tribe on a fictional planet. I’m just saying it’s a boring shorthand for romance, made worse by the fact that so much of the show’s imagery is otherwise fairly intelligent. I am not angry, I’m just disappointed.

Wang Zheng and Sang Zan’s reunion triggers another earthquake, which is felt all the way back in the village, and shortly thereafter Zhu Jiu interrupts the couple, knocking Wang Zheng out. This - her being knocked unconscious - cuts to Zhao Yunlan wincing while clutching at his temples, which almost implies that he can feel it when his people are in danger. Which would be very cool if true. 

Shen Wei, in the meanwhile is remarkably good at keeping his Professor’s mask on the whole time, offering enough information without betraying his own knowledge or motives, but it is clear by now that Zhao Yunlan starts to see right through it. 

The chief sprints into action when Chu Shuzhi and Guo Changcheng arrive, instructing the two to join him in investigation. Shen Wei opens his mouth to volunteer to come with, but ends up hesitating before saying anything out loud. 

Zhu Hong, too, makes a move to go after the three men, but is firmly instructed to say behind and look after Shen Wei. She proceeds to loudly explain that this is the wrong time and place to be fussing over this guy. 

Shen Wei looks like he has no idea what to do with this display of emotion. 

Zhao Yunaln whispers to Zhu Hong to watch the professor for him: which could equally be him manipulating the Yashou into staying, or a sinking realisation that Shen Wei will actually try to join them either way, or genuine desire to find out what the professor will do next. Or, indeed, a combination of the above. Zhu Hong will attack her task with conviction. 

Sure enough, Shen Wei finally voices his desire to go with the group. Zhu Hong reminds him that he has his own people to look after and instructs him to return to the house with barely contained resentment. 

Shen Wei will predictably try to sneak out very shortly afterwards, and will be, equally predictably, caught by Zhu Hong. Why the man who can teleport would not just teleport out of the house before proceeding on foot is anyone’s guess. 

“He surprisingly views you as a good friend”, says Zhu Hong when she stops Shen Wei from leaving. “You surely noticed it, right?”

He certainly did, although he will always have trouble realising that he is actually cared about in a way which is anything but casual. 

Shen Wei obediently sits down and follows Zhu Hong’s instructions as she attempts to hypnotise him. Those instructions are anything but subtle. 

“Professor Shen, look at the flame closely”.

Meanwhile, the other party has successfully deduced the location of the Hanga tribe cave/shrine, and heads there, only to find no visible entrance. Thankfully, gaining access to the mountain is not particularly hard for the party. Mostly because this part of the mountain is made of foam.

This is where I want to metaphorically pat Guardian on its non-existent head, cooing, “Oh, Guardian. Baby. What have you done.”

On the bright side, this is also where Guo Changcheng accidentally shocks Zhao Yunlan with the Fear Stick, and Chu Shuzhi literally gives him a thumbs up. Those two are a duo for the ages. 

Youchu appear to fight our heroes, and after the first wave is eliminated, Zhao Yunlan decides to go inside, leaving the other two fend them off near the entrance. Considering that the beasts are all hiding inside the cave, rushing in without backup seems incredibly ill advised. Zhao Yunlan instructs Chu Shuzhi and Guo Changcheng to run away if the danger becomes too great. Which he must know surely that they would never do: his department does not leave people behind, and his subordinates will never abandon him. 

To no one’s surprise, the cave is crawling with Youchu. Zhao Yunlan goes on the offensive, kicking the feet out of the monster, but failing to incapacitate it. I am going to do my best to ignore how the scale of the beast fluctuates as it falls down, and focus on Bai Yu’s excellent reaction when his character realises that he is about to very much die.

Luckily for our protagonist, Hei Pao Shi sends a ward his way with a note, warning him of the danger ahead and ordering him to return. Zhao Yunlan makes no move to do as instructed and uses the upper hand he’s gained on the Youchu to get out his gun. Before he can fire however, he once more experiences the painful flashback of the devastation this gun carries, and freezes.

This is when Shen Wei shows up in person, jumping in front of the gun and gutting the beast.

The jumping in front of the gun part of the action is sweet, because it indicates, albeit indirectly, the absolute trust Shen Wei must have in Zhao Yunlan’s instincts, knowing that the man will not accidentally shoot him in the back. 

The gutting itself happens in reverse grip, with Shen Wei being easily within reach of the beast’s long stabby claws, and as such really questionable to me in terms of logic. I would have not minded it if he had been moving through the space in front of the beast, slicing it while passing through. That would be at least an indicator of both speed and dexterity enough to make me believe Shen Wei made a clever avoidance of the claws. But he doesn’t: he just materialises dead-on in front of the monster and the later just.. lets itself be killed. 

Let’s just say that maybe the beast is supposed to be deliberately slow here, and park the long essay in regards to the bladework until the next episode. 

“Chief Zhao, are you alright?”

Everything about Hei Pao Shi in this moment screams of Shen Wei-ness. Well, maybe not the sword. But the obvious concern, the tone of voice, the general air: it’s all Shen Wei. It’s remarkable that Zhao Yunlan does not see it. Or maybe, I suppose, he does, without even realising it. His cheeky grin suddenly appears; the corners of his eyes crinkle, as he goes into a very long-winded, almost flirtatious away about thanking Hei Pao Shi, teasing him for not always arriving on time. 

Unperturbed, Shen Wei chides Zhao Yunlan for not listening to his warning, and Zhao Yunlan defends himself in a very playful kind of manner, adding that he’s not leaving his people behind. To Shen Wei, this is to be expected, so instead of arguing he goes into a lot of detail on how the road ahead is dangerous, as if he is not really expecting Zhao Yunlan to accept help. 

He is wrong of course: proud though he may be, Chief Zhao knows when he is outgunned and outnumbered, and only grins, happy for the Envoy to join him on his mission. 

Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan exploring the cave is interspersed with pretty damn harrowing scenes of Zhu Jiu torturing Wang Zheng as her trapped lover screams for mercy. It’s a lot; in fact it’s so much even the cave ghosts attempt to intervene, because while they may be very much pro-murder, they are evidently anti-torture. 

As the two keep exploring, they bump into another three of the beasts, which Shen Wei slays in three slick moves. It’s actually pretty cool, despite slightly sketchy teleportation effects.

“Wow!”

(Apparently, this “wow” made Zhu Yilong corpse so much he nearly laughed his mask off. Which sounds adorable)

Shen Wei proceeds to inquire Zhao Yunlan about the gun, party to confirm that it is indeed the dark energy weapon he knows, and partly having noticed that the other man failed to fire it. I wonder how many times Zhao Yunlan froze in the past, considering how easily he once again slips into his mask of playful deflection, claiming that he never planned to fire the gun at all. It’s almost tragic how this person keeps feeling like he needs to prove his own capabilities over and over again. 

Interestingly enough, in this particular case Hei Pao Shi actually does own up to a weakness. It’s calculated: he knows this is something Zhao Yunlan must already be aware of, but still, “full disclosure” is not something Shen Wei usually does when it comes to his own capacities. 

What he admits to, on the other hand, does not seem very consistent with the rest of the show. He says that he can only use half of his power above ground, which - okay. But he also states that he can’t spend a lot of time here, and I am a little bit… confused? He lives above ground. He spends absolute majority of his time here. I really don’t want to think of this as a writing inconsistency, so please let me know what I have missed; I’ll appreciate it. 

Hearing the admission, Zhao Yunlan grows serious for once, asking which they they should be going next. Shen Wei barely smothers a smug smirk seconds before he scries the surroundings with unbelievable panache.

Show off

Unfortunately, his search does not yield any result, as whatever readings he is getting are muddled by the Hallow. Luckily for them, and to Shen Wei’s great dismay, Zhao Yunlan has the Dial on him which he is uses as a compass. 

Shen Wei’s wordless reaction conveys a million questions from “what the hell?” to “are you completely stupid?”

Instead of asking any of those things, he settles for a more neutral “I’ve told you not to use the Hallows.”

“You are very much like a friend of mine”, remarks Zhao Yunlan. 

Which is, incidentally, also the title of this episode. 

Even behind the mask it’s clear to see Shen Wei’s blind panic as he realises he may have just blown his cover sky high. Fortunately, Zhao Yunlan reads the reaction as bashfulness rather than existential despair, and laughs it off. 

Now that they know which way to go, they finally make it to the chamber which houses the pillar/totem, which now has Wang Zheng tied to it. 

This show sure does like tying their characters to totems containing souls of people significant to them, huh?

In all seriousness though, as parallels go, this one is… uh… unparalleled. 

(I am so very sorry.)

Zhao Yunlan makes a move towards his trapped subordinate, but Hei Pao Shi, again in a way which is extremely Shen Wei-like, grabs at his arm, stopping him in his tracks. 

Zhao Yunlan obediently halts, and calls Zhu Jiu out, correctly guessing that the Undergrounder lured them here deliberately. Shen Wei, on the other hand, relays in a hushed tone information what he had observed so far: namely, that the Hallow stored here is the Dire Awl, and that something is incredibly fishy about Wang Zheng.

As he does so, he is staring at Zhao Yunlan’s lips. It is neither the time, nor the place, but hey, I’m not complaining.

They have a brief discussion about the next moves, in which Shen Wei just says he would like to try something, and Zhao Yunlan nods, letting him do it without asking for any details. 

Flashback 3: the Backstory. 

We hear the full tragic tale of Ge Lan and Sang Zan: how they met, representatives of the warring sides of the conflict, two people from two different worlds; how their love did not stop the awful bloodshed; how it could not be enough to overpower the politics; how it lead to Ge Lan’s death, and, finally, how Sang Zan could not bring her back to him. They hear how the man changed once he lost the only person he cared about. 

Zhao Yunlan is visibly moved by this story, recognising echoes of it in himself. 

“The most basic dignity of a man is to ensure that the person in his heart stays safe. If the person I love gets destroyed in my own hands ruined under the system I established myself, it’s very likely I’ll hate these people more than I hated the former tribe leader.”

How much did he harden after his mother was taken away from him? How much of his initial hatred of all those from the Underground stems from that day? And, of course, how much will it break him when he will not be gifted this dignity in his own future? 

Shen Wei is near vibrating with how much his very soul resonates with the tale he has just heard. He, who has met someone from the other world, who was lost that person, is visibly weighed down by his own memories.

“That’s right. Even if they’re cut into a myriad of pieces, the hatred would be hard to dissolve.”

Zhao Yunlan stares at the other man, astounded, wondering what hardships and losses the Envoy endured in his long and eventful life, as the episode draws to a close.

And I am left here trying to soothe my aching heart, bruised once more by this show’s relentless fatalism. 

Next up, episode 11: Oh Boy Do I Have Sword Opinions 

---

Notes. 

Look. It’s been a long week okay. Besides, I am basically marathoning my way through Zhu Yilong’s entire filmography. 

The normal service in terms of analysis will hopefully resume next week. 

#guardian #shen wei #zhao yunlan #recap #rewatch #sometimes my brain is like this

[goldencored]

@prismaris​ said, “anything  you  want .” ( xw & mxy )

“Does A-Wei promise?”

There’s a tone of hope in his voice that he tries to hide— Jinse has the nagging feeling that he’s very used to being disappointed. Perhaps it stems from whatever his life was like before Madam Zhao found him. Regardless, this tiny seed of doubt is ridiculous; he knows well enough how good Xiangwei is to him, has been to him this entire time. The snake has no doubt spent a small fortune to see him nearly every night. Jinse is beyond flattered, he’s endeared.

“Well then...” Jinse takes a deep breath, lashes lowering. “One day, I would like to spend more than just a night with A-Wei. I’d like to spend all of my days with you, without you having to pay to make it so.”

#「ᵛ」— lanling's pearl: the golden oriole #「ᵀᴸ」— arc i. sweet as honeysuckle #「ᵀ」— flower in adversity ( mo xuanyu ) #prismaris

[casebasket]

Legend of Korra thoughts, bit long, just finished it after 8 years

I finally finished Legend of Korra after watching a few episodes all the way back when it first came out, but then losing track of it for... 8 years, and while I get why people critique it all the time, I also don’t think it deserves all the hate it typically gets. I read somewhere that the first season was written as a standalone, where the creators didn’t expect anymore after, and it definitely shows in the isolated plot structure subsequent seasons take, but as it developed you got to see how Korra’s growth is affected by every new experience. 

Season 2 was a bit jarring as they tried to regain footing and expand on the world beyond what they originally imagined, but season 3 and 4 I think did a good job getting the show’s voice back and building on lore. Season 2 honestly didn’t even feel very avatar-esque to me at first, but with hindsight I see how it tied in with the later seasons. In some ways I felt season 2 did a small reset on some aspects of Korra’s character, and the whole back and forth between Mako-Asami-Korra was just, retreading old ground. I’m glad that was over with by S3 and they began nudging in just the barest hint of korrasami endgame. Like. The barest whisper of korrasami. They tried. Nickelodeon just wasn’t ready for the full thing. 

The last 2 seasons were definitely my favourite, and I found that the parts I was frustrated at, I wasn’t frustrated at the plot, but the character, which I couldn’t fault for being nonsensical, but for being realistically, true to character stubborn. Korra had her own hurdles to overcome, and while some paralleled Aang’s, it was also so wholly her own. The new Avatar had new problems, that were intrinsically connected, built on, as all things usually are, the past. Just like Kyoshi’s Dai Lis became shady secret agents, Aang’s Republic City became a breeding ground for much political underhandedness. Even all the way in the Beginning, the reason Wan became Avatar was because of his mistake in severing the ties between Vaatu and Raava. Every Avatar exists to deal with the past Avatar’s mistakes, and create new ones, as life is an endless cycle of destruction and reconstruction, mistakes and reparation, life and death on every scale. 

Finally, the slow season by season reveal of the original characters, first Katara, then Zuko, and Toph, gave each chapter a bit of excitement. The little call backs to Last Airbender (what comes to mind is Professor Zei, Zhao, and Cabbage Corp??? Cabbage man really did well for himself) seemed genuinely appropriate and not just ham-fisted fanfare intertextuality look-what-we-did-there moments. It’s a bit of a shame how little Aang really appears, but it’s understandable - what with the connection to past lives lost, and the establishment of Korra as her own avatar not to be compared to the original very popular ATLA. Though I would love to know Aang’s thoughts and advice on all that Korra experiences (and Kyoshi’s, because of course), hearing him through his loved ones, old and young, was its own bittersweet experience. It showed the impact he left on people, long after he’s gone, and emphasized that though Korra may have lost her connection to her past lives, they are still there, real, connected to everyone who loves and remembers them, like the love of the monks still living in Aang channeled into his love for others. My favourite part of season 2 was actually the B-plot following Tenzin, Bumi, and Kya, as they discuss how Aang was as a father. As disappointing as it may have been, it’s also fascinating to know Aang - and Toph - weren’t the best parents, and it stems from things we can track back to the Last Airbender. Of course, no one is delighted to know Aang showed blatant favouritism to Tenzin, but it’s also, of course he did, the Air Nomads’ culture was so important to him. It sucks Toph was a bit too free handed with her kids, but that comes from not wanting to suffocate them like her parents did. Legend of Korra is about going to extremes for good intentions. Every villain embodies that warning adage of going too far, even for a good cause. And so it makes sense, in a realistic story whose guiding philosophy includes yin and yang (a bit of good in the bad, a bit of bad in the good), that the our ‘heroes’ mirror the same. In this way everyone is a little bit like the Avatar, trying to fix a past mistake, and overcompensating for the next generation to struggle with. It’s very human. 

Korra’s story is not Aang’s, though his shadow lingers on like Roku’s did on Aang. Legend of Korra had genuinely touching moments, both masterfully built on from last show’s memories, like all the airbenders working together for the first time in hundreds of years, and crafted by itself, like Asami’s father’s sacrifice. This isn’t to say the show is not without problems - I, for one, would love to have seen more of Sokka, Suki, Mai and Ty Lee; and again season 2 felt wholly unfamiliar as an ATLA universe (though I understand given the means they had they were really trying), but Korra’s story is worth telling. The stories are similar - to become an Avatar that maintains peace, and finds balance between their duty to the world and to one another. They just reached that equilibrium from opposite ends. Two kids trying to save the world, one ran and returned, one charged and recoiled, but they find their place in the end somewhere close to each other.  

#atla #legend of korra #last airbender #korra #aang #avatar #text #i have a lot of thoughts and feelings #lok isn't like atla at all and that can be a good thing #hey if you made it this long thanks for reading

[zahra-kha]

Dear Diary 10

I got word back from the goldsmith’s guild. It’s uh, gonna take some time to get those charms made. Mostly because I can’t afford them all right away! I’m definitely going to have to take on more missions, I’m a lot more broke than I thought! I can at least get Tamala and Jasper’s made. Maybe Tala’s but then I’d be stretching my funds a little thin. I’ll do it in sets. I still haven’t gone to hunt for Cecilia’s - but I was gonna wait for Starlight anyway. Maybe I can save up and do all three of theirs for a Starlight gift. It’s getting close to that time. Only a few moons away.

It’s not like I couldn’t contact my parents and ask for the funds but...then it wouldn’t really be from me now would it? I want this to be something that’s from the heart as much as possible. I’d craft the pieces myself if I could! But better to leave that to the professionals.

Anyroad, Plume was amazing last night! There were so many amazing fights. I forgot to ask Conor about his lass he’s been courting! I wonder if he’s taken that wonderful lady on another date? He’s so adorable when he talks about her - people who have a special someone always have that glow to them. If it’s not the way their face lights up, it’s in their eyes or their demeanor. They just change and it’s nice to see. I love romance (obviously, look at my romance novel collection)!

Jasper and Tamala fought and that was...wet. Tamala escaped again but Miss Leih was pissed and that’s the second time she’s drenched the place so...I don’t think Tamala is gonna escape her wrath so easily this time. Jasper definitely not. I can’t tell if she likes Jasper or likes to make him suffer. Maybe both? He’s good for shedding blood so maybe it’s both.

They both fought well but...if I ever went against Jasper I’m definitely going to use my chakrams. It’s not that Tamala wouldn’t be a hard fight - because she would be. We have similar attributes, we both fight ranged (which would get annoying), and she’s nimble. I’d probably switch up my fighting style to deal with her and her rune magic.

I think with Jasper - I’d absolutely not want to hold back with him. Sahrin’s always drilled certain principles into me and trained me a certain way - but I’ve learned so much since coming here that I wonder if maybe Fitaan didn’t have a point before we left for Eorzea. The two get along great for the most part, but they’d sometimes argue about the direction of the troupe when it came to how we function regarding combat.

Fun fact: Our troupe was a lot larger and different before Sahrin took over! We were more focused on helping nobility via infiltration, subterfuge, and political intrigue with our performances and events. We weren’t the only troupe that was involved with the darker side of Radz-at-Han, but we were one of the few that pulled away from it completely after a long and bloody history. According to Fitaan, Sai, and a few others, Sahrin taking over caused a huge rift and many members left.

His huge shift to wanting to focus more on genuine performances and using combat to straight kill instead of remaining in the shadows went against a lot of what many of the members stood for. Sahrin wanted to face enemies head on, he didn’t see the need or necessity of playing games. The argument that doing that could possibly breed more need to cleanse people possessed by the totentanz. The subterfuge and deception were necessary to keep the negative emotions at bay. Death was inevitable, but the difference between a slaughter and a scene that looked like an unfortunate accident could change perspectives and outlooks, breeding less anger and fear.

I have no idea how strong or accurate their argument actually was, but it was enough for there to be an actual divide.

Regardless, I’m starting to wonder if maybe Sahrin’s hard handed approach isn’t the best one. He took me in and trained me, but since then I’ve been able to fight others and test my skills against them. I’ve been so scared to fight them, to hurt them, but I feel now if I hold back I’m the one in the wrong.

Besides that, I think it’s arrogant to think that way, too. There are people better than me, it’s vain to think just because I’ve been trained a certain way that they won’t be able to defend against my attacks.

Like in my fight with Zhao tonight. Oh...well that was...

Hm.

Disappointing.

She’s a good fighter, I’m not going to discredit that. But from what I’ve noticed of her she’s got a mouth and well. Yeah. It’s about the sharpest thing about her. 

Imagine this: If the neighborhood dog barks at anyone when they come close, are you really gonna be all that phased when they bark at you when you come around?

That was my fight with Zhao.

She just...spits venom. It’s not even accurate venom - she called me a steppe barbarian just because I was using my fists. So I played the role and tried to make it entertaining because that’s what I do but really - it was hard to take her seriously after that. Girl, you have approximately 0 home training and manners and you’re going around calling people barbarians based solely off of their appearance and where you think they come from? I couldn’t even get mad, she sounded so ridiculous I decided to bully her.

She was boring with all that blah blah blah. The only good point she made was that my defense isn’t very good. I need to practice more. I’m still a novice when it comes to hand-to-hand. At least I won, I suppose, but it felt hollow when my opponent was so...ugh. But that’s a part of fighting too, I guess. Dealing with people like her who suck the fun out of fighting.

I bet if someone ends up reading this they’ll ask ‘why didn’t you try to be the bigger person and make her see you weren’t a barbarian’?

Why should I have? Is my counter. If she’s older than me and hasn’t figured out something as basic as ‘don’t judge people by appearances’ she’s beyond help. A five year old can grasp that.

#zahra's diary #ic

[zutaras-where-its-at]

21: “He’s a bad kisser”

I’ve been busy the last week with moving to a new place and trying to get everything set up, so I apologize for the lateness of these requests, but don’t worry, I’m still attempting to get through as many as possible!

Every prompt is ending up longer and longer than I had originally intended, but I’m not mad about it lol. This one is definitely my cheesy shipper heart talking, so it’s mostly fluff and dialogue, and wholly indulging my shameless wishful thinking.

[Set during “The Ember Island Players.” The conversation we all wish had happened.]

xxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXX

He doesn’t really know why he edged Aang out to sit next to her. He doesn’t really wanna think about it. Call him a coward, but the realization waiting for him at the end of that particular rabbit trail isn’t one he’s necessarily prepared to confront.

What he does know, however, is that he possesses incredible hearing, even with his scorched ear. And when the two actors on stage portraying Jet and Katara begin to incessantly flirt with one another, Zuko almost chokes on his spit when he hears Katara mutter under her breath beside him.

“He’s a bad kisser.”

Zuko shoots her a bewildered look and hisses, “What?”

She startles, apparently not realizing she had spoken aloud. “I—uh, what?”

Zuko whips his head back to stare at the actors, who are now grossly entwined with one another, and he can’t unsee the image of the real Jet and Katara locked in an embrace.

“You and—“

“Shut up!” She cuts him off with a harsh whisper, her cheeks flushing a light shade of pink. Her eyes flick to the others behind them, but they’re too busy watching the entrance of their own characters. “Just shut up.”

“But he was insane!”

She blinks, then leans closer, dark brows scrunching together. “Wait. How do you know Jet?”

Before he can answer, Toph punches Katara in the shoulder and tells them to quit gossiping.

Zuko crosses his arms and tries not to glare through the rest of the play. His foul mood only worsens as the night wears on. Intermission comes and goes. The cringeworthy moment between his actor and Katara’s passes with discomfort from both parties and light teasing from the others. The traumatic end goes up in literal flames, and finally, they’re free to leave.

The night air is cool and dry against his skin, and Zuko takes a deep breath, attempting to calm the convulsing fire within him. Sokka and Toph attempt to cheer up the group, and even succeed in bringing out a few laughs from the others, but the mood refuses to shift beyond that.

The moment they step foot in the beach house, everyone disperses to their respective rooms. No one seems up to any games or conversation anymore.

Zuko lays in bed, eyes staring blankly at the wood panels above him. His mind is still racing and his head feels like it might explode, so once the noise of people moving around in the house finally dies down, he throws on a shirt and makes his way to the kitchen. If he’s lucky, he’ll be able to scrounge up some of his family’s old alcohol in one of the cupboards.

Zuko is in the midst of cursing at all the empty bottles of wine and whiskey he finds in the pantry when she walks in.

“What are you doing?”

He jerks up on reflex, smacking his head against the shelf he’s leaning over and curses again. Apparently, his incredible hearing only picks up on disturbing and uncomfortable information from his enemy-turned-friend, but is useless when that aforementioned friend actually sneaks up on him.

Zuko throws a look over his shoulder to see Katara standing in the doorway looking mildly amused.

“I’m trying to get drunk, but it looks like I’m shit out of luck.”

She snorts and walks to the wicker basket sitting on the counter. Her nimble fingers glide over the assortment of fruit before she picks up a ripe looking mango. Her other hand grabs the small knife beside the basket before she’s walking out the way she came.

“Well, I’m going to get some fresh air. Have fun.”

He stares after her for a moment, rubbing at the bump that’s beginning to form on the back of his head. Making up his mind, he finally ditches the disappointing liquor cabinet, grabs an ash banana, and follows her to the porch.

She’s already slicing the mango into halves when he joins her. She doesn’t look up when he sits down next to her, but she does tip her head up in acknowledgment.

He watches her shave off a piece of the mango and stick it in her mouth, watches the pale juice slip down her fingers and over her wrist. He blinks hard and focuses on peeling his banana. They eat their fruit like that, just sitting on the front steps in a mutually maintained silence.

Zuko would even go so far as to call it peaceful. That is, until she takes it upon herself to violate the quiet mood.

“Did you really dump Mai in a letter?”

It’s so far from what he expected her to say that a sharp laugh manages to escape him. “Yeah. I mean, I wasn’t exactly trying to dump her, but she took it that way anyways.”

“What were you trying to do?”

Zuko sighs and throws his banana peel into the shadowed bushes at the bottom of the steps with a little more force than necessary. “I don’t know. I—I guess I just didn’t want to drag her into my mess. Things were already complicated between us, even after I returned to the Fire Nation. In a way, I thought I was doing her a favor by leaving without saying goodbye. She doesn’t deserve to suffer from my choices.”

“Well, it sounds like she’s suffering anyways.”

He bristles at that, voice growing cold. “Don’t act like you know her or our relationship. Everything I did was—“

“Zuko, relax.” Her eyes are wide, caught off guard by his biting tone. “I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything. I just...I can imagine how she feels—knowing that you’re doing what you think is best, but she can’t help you. That’s probably a tough spot to be in.”

Slowly, Zuko let’s the tension seep out from his shoulders, resuming his previously relaxed state. “Yeah.”

An apologetic smile tilts her lips. “In hindsight, that probably wasn’t the best time to sympathize with her side. I’m sorry.”

He shrugs and fiddles with the hem of his tunic. “You’re right though. Even when I try to do the right thing, I end up hurting someone.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees her shift a little, her body turning just the slightest bit more towards him.

“Look, Zuko. If the right thing was always the easiest thing to do, then nobody would struggle to make the right choices.” She hesitates for just a second before continuing. “Do you regret leaving her and coming to join us?”

He feels his heart beating slow and steady against his rib cage, and before he can really process the question, his answer is slipping out with a confidence he hadn’t realized he possessed. “No, I don’t. If I had stayed, a part of me would have hated myself for ignoring my destiny, and I know that I eventually would have hated her for it too.”

She reaches over and briefly squeezes his arm before letting go again. The skin there tingles in the seconds after her hand withdraws. “Then you’re okay. You can’t control anyone else’s feelings, only your own. Mai is strong. She’ll be alright.”

Uncle would love you, Zuko thinks.

He doesn’t realize he’s said this out loud until she laughs and shakes her head.

Suddenly, he remembers a part of the play that had him puzzled.

“Were you really the Painted Lady?”

Her laughter abruptly cuts off and she sheepishly tugs on a lock of hair. “Only for a little bit. The part about healing the people and cleaning the river is true, but the playwright added about twelve more explosions than there actually were. Plus, I had Aang, Sokka, and Toph to help me out.”

“But did you actually destroy a Fire Nation factory?”

A defensive look shutters her face, a blush rising to her cheeks. “Yes, but the factory was polluting their water! And the soldiers from the factory were—“

“Do you wanna be my partner sometime?”

“—taking all the medicine from—what?”

He tries valiantly not to laugh at her incredulous stare.

“Do you want to be my partner sometime?” He leans back on his hands, legs straightening out in front of him. “The playwright got a lot of things wrong. That time Aang got captured—Zhao was the one who caught him. I was the Blue Spirit that broke him out.”

She gapes at him, lips struggling to form words.

He grins. “I just think that the Blue Spirit and the Painted Lady might make a good team.”

Her mouth opens and shuts a few times before she lets out a soft “huh” and squints her eyes at him.

“So...Between chasing after us and commanding a squad of soldiers, you somehow found the time to be a street vigilante?”

“Between running away from me and helping the Avatar save the world, you somehow found the time to make out with a teenage terrorist?”

It slips out before he can stop it, and a pang of guilt sweeps through him. He winces, afraid that he’s just ruined a perfectly civil conversation because of his irrational jealousy curiosity.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just—I wasn’t—“

His rambling cuts off when she starts to laugh. It’s a little brittle and a lot loud, but it’s laughter all the same.

She stops, smiling ruefully up at the night sky. “Yeah, I guess it does sound pretty stupid when you put it that way.”

“It’s not stupid.”

She lets out a long sigh and flops onto her back, arms splayed haphazardly above her head. “No, it is. I mean, in my defense, he was one of the first boys my age that I’d pretty much ever met, and he did happen to be extremely charming. That was also back when life didn’t feel like it was always on the cusp of the end of the world. But all of that...I mean, the kissing and stuff...it’s all just a waste of time right now.”

Zuko doesn’t quite know what to say to that, an odd mix of sympathy and disappointment swirling his stomach.

“Surprisingly, he kisses better than Jet. But only by a little.”

“Who?”

“Aang.”

Zuko’s eyes almost bug out of their sockets for what feels like the millionth time tonight. He scrambles to twist around and look at her. “You’ve kissed Aang?”

She hardly moves, eyes trained on the stars stretching above them. “Well, he kissed me. Twice, actually.”

There’s a beat, and then Zuko is bending over his knees with his head in his hands, half-groaning, half-chuckling.

“Of course he did.”

“Don’t laugh at me!”

“No, no! I’m not laughing at you, I swear.”

She covers her face with her hands and Zuko leans back on one elbow, stifling his chuckles.

“I’m not laughing at you. I just find the situation kind of ironic.”

One droll eye peeks out at him from between her fingers. “Ironic how?”

He blanches, realizing too late that this conversation has taken a rapid turn for a topic that he has shoved (guiltily, shamefully) deep into the recesses of his mind. Stuttering, Zuko gestures emptily with one hand.

“I just meant—well it’s—,” a half-grunt, half-squeak escapes his throat and Zuko would very much like to die right about now, “I’m just saying that—“

She isn’t covering her face anymore, so he can see the delicate lift of her left eyebrow in all its judgmental glory. He looks away.

“I just think your taste in men is interesting.”

He continues to avoid her eyes, but he can still feel her searching gaze on the side of his face.

“That’s not what you were going to say.”

“What? Yes it was.”

She rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Zuko, you’re a terrible liar. What were you really going to say? Why do you think it’s so ironic that Aang and I have kissed?”

The logical part of his brain warns him that telling her the truth would be a very large mistake, strictly cautions him that it would only complicate their hard-earned friendship. But the other part of his brain—the part that fully soaks in her un-ruffled, overly-composed appearance and longs to just smudge it with a streak of his own insecurity and embarrassment—that part quickly bashes the logical part in the face with a tsungi horn and leaves it to bleed out in a ditch.

“I find it so ironic, Katara, because a genocidal homeless kid and a twelve year old monk have managed to accomplish what I’ve been wanting to do for ages now.”

She blinks, and Zuko feels the sharp sting of a blush crawling up his neck, but the damage is already done and he refuses to be the first to look away.

A string of emotions shifts like shadows over her face—confusion surprise embarrassment. Realization.

Her lashes flutter, her lips part, and her eyelids lower to half-mast. Zuko has to clench his teeth to hold back a groan.

“You,” her breath skates across his face (when did they get so close?), “want to kiss me?”

He doesn’t trust his voice at the moment, giving her a jerky nod instead and then immediately wanting to sink into the floor.

But she hardly seems to notice his jittery body language. Rather, a slow grin curls at her mouth, and a cheeky glint makes her eyes sparkle up at him in a way that warns of danger. He doesn’t know why, but it turns him on a little.

“Well, clearly, you have quite the challenge waiting for you in the kissing department. How do I know you won’t be just as terrible of a kisser as Jet and Aang? Really, I don’t know if this is worth the risk for me.”

His nervousness begins to fade with her teasing, and he lets out a huff of laughter before doing what he does best. He rises to her bait.

“I might just be the best goddamn kisser in the whole Fire Nation, and you would never have the privilege of experiencing that unless you kiss me.”

Katara guffaws and levels him with an appraising look, her face tilting just the slightest bit up.

“Oh, so now it’s me who’s kissing you?”

He gives her a sage look, hair falling across his brow and tangling with his dark lashes. “That’s right. You better seize this rare opportunity before it slips right through your fingers. I have plenty of other suitors waiting for me, you know.”

Her snort nearly pulls a chuckle out of him, but he manages to maintain some semblance of a straight face.

“Plenty of other suitors, huh?”

“Plenty. Appa is the next on my list.”

One of his long fingers lightly coils around one of her dark, thin ones. With their faces mere inches apart, Zuko can see the mirth bubbling in the blue of her eyes mixing with something even brighter, something he can’t put into words but he can feel in his bones.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be shown up by Appa, now would I?”

When she finally presses her lips to his, Zuko swears that a Katara-shaped hole has just been carved into the puzzle that is his fate.

#im not totally sold on the ending but eh it’s fine #a lil out of character but you know what i want to see my bbys be playful and cute and fun #so what the hell #zutara #katara #zuko #the ember island players #my zutara stuff #fic #thecarminewanker

[icedanceupstarts]

Cup of China 2019 Preview

We’re officially halfway through the Grand Prix and no closer to knowing what any of these numbers mean. There are some rather interesting head to heads this week, including the Grand Prix debut of the reigning World Silver Medalists, so maybe it will all finally make sense this week!

Laurence FOURNIER BEAUDRY / Nikolaj SORENSEN CAN

Age: 27/30

Started Skating Together: 2012

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 201.00

Rhythm Dance: Bonnie and Clyde

Free Dance: Cry Me A River

The Canadanes have been having a wonderful season so far, winning Nebelhorn and following it up with their first ever GP medal, all while posting scores high enough to make some top teams a little nervous. Their Bonnie and Clyde rhythm dance especially has been a hit with the fans, with their commitment to the performance and characters as well as that distinctive twizzle sequence. They bring all the drama in their FD with more strong tech and well placed elements. They look good to turn their first season medaling on the Grand Prix into their first season medaling at both of their Grand Prixs, with their biggest competition for the bronze being Hawayek/Baker who they already defeated at Nebelhorn. They have the higher scores thus far, but with the unpredictable scoring trends thus far, that might not mean as much as it has in the past. The flipside of that is that if they bring the levels and the performance, they just might be able to aim higher than bronze, particularly if the top teams here have an off day. Regardless of the outcome here, they have put themselves in an excellent position looking ahead to Canadian nationals high placements at championship events.

 Hong CHEN / Zhuoming SUN CHN

Age: 25/24

Started Skating Together: 2018

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 159.94

Rhythm Dance: It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Swing

Free Dance: It's All Coming Back to Me Now

YouTube has failed us, I'm sorry. Tracking down videos that don’t get pulled from existence almost immediately remains a dire struggle, but we can say these two had a solid Grand Prix debut a few weeks ago at Skate America. Particularly in the free dance, they showed off the immense progress they've made as a fairly new team. They still have a lot to learn, but they have a certain appeal to them that make them a team to keep an eye out for after a few more years of high level coaching and competitions. Plus her dresses are already gorgeous, so there's that to look forward to as well.

Yuzhu GUO / Pengkun ZHAO CHN

Age: 20/22

Started Skating Together: 2013

Coach: Hongyan Xi, Xun Zheng

Personal Best: 114.41

Rhythm Dance: Quickstep

Free Dance: A Thousand Years

Fresh off the junior circuit, the opportunity the host spot brings is invaluable to any young up and comer, and this team is no different. They’ve had some international competitive experience at both the junior and senior levels already, and now they're getting the chance to compete with some of the best teams in the world. They're probably going to be last, but there are things more important than results, especially for such a young team from a country still developing it's dance program. They actually have a really nice chemistry and emotional connection that is shown off in their lyrical, emotional free dance, as well as a good feel for the music. With more opportunities to grow their technical abilities, they may become another step forward for China's ice dance program.  

Shiyue WANG / Xinyu LIU CHN

Age: 25/25

Started Skating Together: 2010

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 184.72

Rhythm Dance: Charlie Chaplin

Free Dance: Swan Lake

Following their silver medal at Finlandia, Wang/Liu will be starting of their Grand Prix season at home. Their Charlie Chaplin selection for the rhythm dance is honestly super cute. Just a really fun and funny concept that these two and their massive height difference pull off amazingly well. For their free dance - love both Swan Lake and a drama program, do not so much love the structuring of this Swan Lake drama program, but they skate their hearts out. While undoubtedly one of the most warhorse-y warhorses, this type of program is a departure from what Wang/Liu have done with their free dances the past few seasons. We might quibble with the placement of their twizzles but it's a rather charming touch that they're placed them to the part of the music where Odile famously does her 32 fouettes. They’ve had a number of sixth place finishes at Grand Prix events over the years, but this could be their year to break into the top five.

 Misato KOMATSUBARA / Tim KOLETO JPN

Age: 27/28

Started Skating Together: 2016

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 142.09

Rhythm Dance: Dreamgirls

Free Dance: Lord of the Dance

Komatsubara/Koleto have had a rough few months, to say the least. In July Misato got a concussion so bad she couldn't move the lower half of her body, had issues speaking, and her life was in danger, but is competing here now for reasons beyond us?? It's hard to hype a team when all we want to do is shriek at them to GO TAKE A NAP IN THE HOSPITAL but we'll try our best. They competed at Asian Open Trophy last weekend, and while they were far from their best, they're still appealing performers. The biggest problem at the moment is that both programs were choreographed with the intention that they be skated with a certain amount of energy and sharpness that is currently beyond them, particularly in the steps which, understandably, look a little under trained at the moment. Even if it's a while before they're at full strength, it's always a delight to see them skate, even if this week that delight is undercut with concern.

 Sofia EVDOKIMOVA / Egor BAZIN RUS

Age: 22/24

Started Skating Together: 2007

Coach: Oleg Sudakov, Valentin Kuziaev, Artem Kudashev

Season's Best: 167.39

Rhythm Dance: 42nd Street

Free Dance: Schindler's List

Following a bit of a disappointing start to their Grand Prix season, Evdokimova/Bazin will be looking to improve on their results. They had decent levels at their first event but low GOEs kept them at the bottom of the field finishing ninth overall. 42nd Street is one of the more popular choices for the RD, and you can see why. It's perfect for a Finnstep and would carry the program even if their performance ever faltered. Their free dance isn't quite there for us yet-- it's fine, but the program doesn't carry itself the way their rhythm dance does, and it's very easy for this kind of program to dissolve into aimless angst. Their interpretation is evolving, though, and maybe if they hit the right notes this time the judges will see fit to reward them. Their experience together helped carry them to Europeans last season, but they’ll need to keep growing their performance and minimizing errors to try and maintain this advantage over the newer and younger teams they’ll once again be up against at Russian nationals next month.  

Victoria SINITSINA / Nikita KATSALAPOV RUS

Age: 24/28

Started Skating Together: 2014

Coach: Alexander Zhulin

Season's Best: 198.14

Rhythm Dance: Singing in the Rain

Free Dance: I Giorni/Songs My Mother Taught Me

The reigning Russian National Champions and World Silver Medalists are looking to cement their reign as Russian #1 as well as close the gap to the top of the world podium. They competed at one Challenger event this pre-season, which they won, though their seasons best from that event sits quite a bit lower than the other top world competitors. We expect to see that increase to a much more competitive number this weekend. While most of their competitors are increasingly going for more modern looks, Sinitsina/Katsalapov have thus far preferred to keep it classic. Their rhythm dance, while perhaps not quite as astoundingly perfect for them as their tango from last season, is still an excellent program and vehicle for their talents. They've excelled at dramatic programs more recently, so they surprised many fans with how light and charming they can be in this program. Their free dance plays on their classically Russian skating, elegant and stately, making great use of their long lines to hit striking positions. When they last performed it several weeks ago, their free dance lacked some narrative cohesion but they've had time to tighten up the program and rework their interpretation. Given that unlike Chock/Bates, they aren't just coming off a competition, one might tentatively declare them the favorites if they can keep their twizzles under control, often their nemesis in the past.

 Anastasia SKOPTCOVA / Kirill ALESHIN RUS

Age: 19/22

Started Skating Together: 2013

Coach: Svetlana Alexeeva, Elena Kustarova, Olga Riabinina

Personal Best: 179.78

Rhythm Dance: Bonnie and Clyde

Free Dance: Never Tear Us Apart/ Earned It

Happy Birthday Anastasia! These second year seniors have once again gotten off to a bit of a slow start this season, missing the free dance at test skates and only competing at one small domestic event prior to the Grand Prix. But fortunately their GP assignments are on the later side of things so we are excited to finally see them at a major event! It will never fail to astonish that a musical as little loved as Bonnie and Clyde has found so much traction in the figure skating community. It works pretty well for them, and we especially like the opening step sequence. Their new free dance kind of builds off last season's while still being different and feeling fresh. They already have a mature feel to them as a team, and have surprisingly acrobatic lifts for a team with a fairly small height difference. Having a good placement here could be essential to staying afloat in the crowded Russian dance field.  

Madison CHOCK / Evan BATES USA

Age: 27/30

Started Skating Together: 2011

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 204.84

Rhythm Dance: Too Darn Hot

Free Dance: Snake Charmer

After last week Chock/Bates will be looking to clinch their place at GPF with at least a silver medal, if not the gold. Their technical display was not as strong as it was at the beginning of the season or performances they've had in the past, but they've made up for it in other ways. They have a lot of showy highlights in both programs that help keep their marks high even when their levels are low. Their lifts and performance quality especially have always been a strong point for these two. You can say a lot of things about their free dance, but it's a program that easily allows the judges to separate them from other teams and displays their growth in several areas. They're going to be fighting jetlag but they'll want to give stronger performances than last week if they want to make GPF, and especially if they want to win. More lackluster levels could even put them in danger of slipping out of the top two if they make a mistake, but Chock/Bates have been skating with more passion and confidence ever after their coaching change, and the judges seem to be responding accordingly. A strong result here and ideally doing enough to punch their ticket to the GPF would set them up very well to battle for the US national title this season.  

Kaitlin HAWAYEK / Jean-Luc BAKER USA 

Age: 23/25

Started Skating Together: 2012

Coach: Marie-France Dubreuil, Patrice Lauzon, Romain Haguenauer

Season's Best: 194.77

Rhythm Dance: Disco

Free Dance: Beethoven Flamenco

The reigning US National bronze medalists have had a bit of a bumpy road this season, and they've only had two competitions. They barely hung onto the silver medal in their season opener at Nebelhorn where they were not as competitive as they no doubt would have liked. They posted much higher scores at Skate Canada a few weeks later, but ended up slipping off the podium. They've got another shot at the bronze here, but they'll have to fight their training mates Fournier-Beaudry/Sorensen for it. Hawayek/Baker have made a noticeable effort this season to imbue both programs with their offbeat, irreverent personality that hadn't been shown off in their more lyrical programs they became so known for over the past few years. The slow section in their disco RD could use a little more sparkle, but it's a fun program even so. Their weird flamenco with Kaitlin as Marie Antoinette stands out nicely from the rest of the field, but might be a little too weird for the judges? Honestly hard to say, because what is score. If they can convince the judges of their program concept and get another GP medal, it'll put them in a better position to hang onto the National bronze and maybe even move up, especially if the top teams here falter.

#ice dance #season: 2019 2020 #gp 2019 #preview

[loopy777]

‘Traitor’s Face’ Planning Doc 4

Outline for Act 2, developed after Act 1 was completed.

UPDATED: A reference to a major event in Act 5, originally REDACTED, has been restored.

PLOTLINES

GAANG Aang is trying to find a way to do something about the state of the world. There's no war to win, and he doesn't think simply assassinating the Fire Lord will help, because the Fire Nation will still be in control. He focuses on learning Waterbending and solving the Spirit problems, and slowly reconciles with Mai.

Mai is in the dumps after all the junk. She doesn't want to think of herself as a bad person, so she's focusing on fixing the world and the Fire Nation. Katara gets her to see that she's truly fond of Aang and Sokka, and so becomes more human. Also, Mai eventually learns how to use a sword, since she's running low on both knives and money. She also starts dressing in crummy clothes that aren't red. Her hands shake due to stress.

Sokka is happy that he has his sister back, but can't understand that he's putting too much pressure on her when she starts suffering from panic attacks and needs mental healing. After she stays at the Healing House, Sokka has to get over the disappointment. He also slowly reconciles with Mai.

Katara helps heal the rift between Mai and the others, but slowly succumbs to stress and panic attacks at journeying a world after being locked in a room for a decade. http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/panic-attack-symptoms

TEAM FIRE Zuko realizes that he lost Mai's loyalty, and has to come to understand that it was partially his own fault that she was driven away. He tracks Aang using the Air Nomad staff, and gets to know Suki during the hunt. He also discovers that Zhao is working for Iroh, and stumbles across the Platinum initiative and the fact that shipments are being stolen.

Azula is still loyal to her 'father' and still working to get Zuko back home as per orders. She is suspicious of Suki but sees an opportunity to uncover more about Zhao's crimes.

Suki makes a deal to get her sister out of harm's way, but also doesn't want to hurt Aang or Sokka. She is scandalized by the news that Mai was a traitor, and more ambiguous when she finds out that Mai is a double-traitor. Suki slowly falls in love with Zuko.

JET (BLUE SPIRITS) Jet lost everything to the Fire Nation, and wants to hurt them as much as possible. This could possibly go in a self-destructive direction, but friendships and opportunity have mitigated that for now. He was recruited by Iroh's agents as a Blue Spirit, thinking that he's acting as a rebel against the Fire Nation. He was under orders to kill Mai and do whatever he could to get Aang to his bosses, which led to the events on The Tub.

Jet has now lost another friend- making him angry- but still has his mission. Maybe he's a bit more self-destructive now. He's also Azula's prisoner, and all she knows is that he was defending the Water Tribe prisoners.

Azula interrogated Jet, but he was trained that saying almost anything could be a giveaway, so he kept his mouth shut. That's given him time. When Zuko gets back, he finds out that Zuko and Azula are hunting the Avatar, and figures that he could complete his mission by getting back to Aang and also shielding him from the Fire sibs. So Jet spins a story about being recruited by Mai, or being a plant to watch Mai, or something, and offers to help. Azula wants Mai badly, so she accepts Jet, but she doesn't trust him. Perhaps Azula keeps Suki around as a piece to use against Jet.

SETTING ELEMENTS

Covert Fire Nation squads armed with platinum weapons are attacking spirit problems as Ghostbusters in classified missions, but there are too few supplies to handle all the spirit problems.

Long Feng and the Dai Li survived the destruction of Ba Sing Se and are acting as Ghostbusters as well, using ancient rituals and charms. They use the money and goodwill they earn to maintain a vast underground library/museum of Ba Sing Se's culture.

There is a Neo Air Nomad movement that includes some real Airbenders. They, too, are working on the Spirit problem, but they're more focused on healing people than fighting ghosts. Ty Lee is an acolyte who is seen as having potential, but has not been able to Airbend yet.

There is an Earth Kingdom rebellion helped by the White Lotus (with Iroh's full knowledge). The rebellion is helping hidden villages such as Tyro and Haru's, and undermining Fire Nation efforts with small raids and harassment. The remnants of various EK militarys make up a good portion of it, but the leader is a mysterious "Seer" who supposedly knows things far beyond human ken. In truth, the Seer is Toph, who uses her Earth Sense to make people think she's magic and applies her Wait'n'Listen approach to building up slowly towards fighting back against the Fire Nation again. (Toph was separated from her parents when Gaoling was burned down, but she holds out hope that they're alive, even if she can't find them.)

Spirit Matters: Things are getting worse. The Fire Nation has platinum and is desperate to find a way to use it to solve the spirit problems plaguing their colonies, but for now they only have enough to make spears and swords and some light armor for a few ghostbuster units. The Dai Li don't know anything about platinum, yet, but they know the Fire Nation is doing something to fight spirits, and are generally staying out of their way while they do their own ghostbusting for money and self-preservation (limited to a single area). Iroh wants the platinum for his own goals, but in the meantime he sees hope that he may not need it if the Avatar can save Lu Ten. Meanwhile, Azulon sees no worthy heir to take over when he dies, so he's looking into ways to steal other people's life force to lengthen his own lifes, and is eyeing the Avatar.

MOTIVATIONS

Zuko: Wants to go home Azula: Wants Ozai to be Fire Lord Suki: Wants to get her sister out of the Fire Military and to safety Ozai/Ursa: Wants to get Zuko home and take over the Fire Nation to "fix" it

Suki throws in with Zuko and Azula in exchange for promise to help her sister. Zuko and Azula need to capture the Avatar, can use Aang's staff to track them with June.

They don't know where the Avatar is headed

They're aware Mai is a turncoat, and so the Avatar is probably a step ahead of them.

Suki's info about the gAang is spotty, since she only knew them for a month

Perhaps Azula plans to use Suki as a hostage?

Or is she a bodyguard for Zuko? There's an interesting idea. But would Azula trust that?

Or is she evidence of some kind against Zhao?

Technically, Suki is a wanted murderer, thanks to Zhao. She also knows he killed Yon Rha.

Zhao is left disgraced with no leads and unsubstantiated slander against Zuko

He's approached by Jeong-Jeong to throw in with Iroh

His task is to hunt the Avatar and deliver him to Iroh

Zhao gets to be a task force outside the chain of command and rampage across EK

He knows the Avatar is looking for the Seer, thanks to a tipoff from Iroh

Iroh also knows where the Seer is, thanks to his White Lotus contacts, and gives Zhao the locations

So Zhao follows reports of the Avatar, but also watching the Seer to see if Aang shows up

EPISODES

Everything is Connected

The gAang has been hanging out in Haru's village for a month (or more). The Waterbenders are recovering, living and working in the village. Katara especially has gotten stronger. Mai's betrayal hasn't been revealed to the village, but the gAang and Haru are cool to her, so she's pretty much ignored, except for Katara who is getting swimming lessons from Mai (where she sees Mai's hands shaking). During one such lesson, Katara asks Mai about her motivations, and notes that impersonally claiming Fire Reformation as her cause doesn't reveal the truth of her friendship with Aang.

Being low on knives and sure that Azula will kill her, Mai buys a sword and some green robes with the last of her personal money (she chooses between soap and the robes). Sokka is hanging out with Katara and enjoying his status as a hero. Aang has been relaxing and telling himself that things are great even though he's still hurt about Mai, and when pressed by Haru and Tyro he admits he doesn't know what his next steps should be.

Meanwhile, Zhao decides that he's lost Aang's trail (reminder of Suki's existance and that Zuko brought Aang's staff), and figures that his best move at this point is to blame Zuko, accuse the prince of treason, and makes accusations about the Ozai faction's (imagined) alliance with platinum-stealing pirates and water tribe rebels. He drops Zuko off in a secure black-ops prison with Suki and goes to the Fire Nation to make the accusation.

Tyro passes on news that a Fire Nation squad is nearby, looking for something. (The Guru, who was looking for the Earth Temple because he had a vision of meeting the Avatar there.) The gAang finds out that the squad is a Platinum squad, and Mai reveals her platinum knife's effect on the Air Nomad zombies to Aang. (Sokka recalls how Mai gave him a weapon when they first discussed the platinum.)

They save the Guru from the squad, and he does connections-reading for the various gAang members: he reassures Mai that her family is alive and safe for now; he tells Sokka and Katara where Gran-Gran is, but Katara doesn't want to see them yet (because she feels damaged and doesn't want to see her Gran-Gran until she's "right" again); he teaches Aang spiritbending, and maybe also hints at the existance of air nomads?

Meanwhile, Azula and Jet, and Jet is freed by Bangfei?

Captives of the Fire Nation Piandao finds out about Zhao's play and reports to Ozai (who is relieved to hear confirmation that Zuko is alive), and Piandao goes on to determine where Zuko is and send word to Azula. Ozai confides to Piandao that he worries that he puts too much on Azula.

Zuko and Suki are talking in their cell, bonding. Zuko is complaining about Mai's betrayal, and Suki notes that people can betray their friends for what they think are good reasons. The Blue Spirit breaks into the base and starts doing an Azula infiltration to get to Zuko. She gets to his cage and frees him, showing her face so that he'll go with her. Zuko insists that Suki go with them, and then notes that they need Aang's staff as well.

The Blue Spirit (Azula) arrives on the prison island and sets about freeing them.

Zhao is left holding the bag when Azulon's royal investigators arrive.

The Fortuneteller The group (in disguise) encounters a Fortuneteller at a festival, who gives them romantic predictions. Aang and Katara are led to believe that they're destined for each other, but it should be ambiguous (since I know Aang dies); Sokka is predicted that he will love the enemy; Mai is predicted that she will give herself as a bride to death itself. The festival is a 'Day of Dead' where homage is done to the dead and families honor their ancestors, in an effort to appease whatever spirits are rampaging in the wilds outside the village. (The gAang wonder why the Fire Nation is not having these problems.) While sorting their love predictions, the gAang observe a proclaimed Ghostbuster decrying the Fortuneteller as a witch and the cause of the local ghost problems. The gAang helps her, in the process coming into conflict with a Fire Nation Platinum division, and eventually expose the Ghostbuster as a huckster.

At the end, the Fortuneteller turns out to be a spy for The Seer, and passes on info on how to meet up with the Earth Resistance.

Zhao is left humiliated and now blacklisted by everyone with power, but then Jeong-Jeong shows up, says, "There is an expression often said to people in your position. It goes, 'You have really stepped in it this time.' Or something like that," and offers Zhao the job of hunting the Avatar for *unharmed capture* for Iroh on a special task force. Zhao accepts, and is given Bangfei as a Weapon who can take Aang down unharmed; Bangfei serves as Zhao's dialogue partner in their scenes. The plan they're given is to capture the new Airbenders and use them as bait for Aang.

Sisters of Kyoshi Island or Two Faced The Fire Teens find June, and can now act on having Aang's staff; they give chase, with June in the lead and everyone else on Ostrich Birds. Hi ho, Nyla, away!

Meanwhile, Piandao rescues Suki's sister, interspersed with flashbacks to the girls' childhood, where they grew up as orphans and joined Oyagi's Unagi gang before they both got discipline on different paths.

Kirai joined the Fire Navy, looking to throw in with the real power.

Suki discovers her grandmother's legacy and trains herself as a Kyoshi Warrior.

Kirai is eventually pressed to reveal the secrets of the Unagi gang, which are mostly destroyed by the military police.

Suki leads the rest into becoming local rebels and condemns her sister, but long after Kirai is shipped out on a tour of duty, Suki goes to the local police and uses Kirai's reputation to become a double agent, having learned that against a foe with no honor, one's own honor is a liability

Kirai learns about honor from Piandao, which of course is ironic considering that he's a double-agent for Iroh.

A New Wind * Zhao uses captive Airbenders as bait for Aang. * Ty Lee escaped from him and is saved by the gAang, and then she sees Mai she executes a full tacklehug * "I sense Zhao." "I sense a trap." "Next move?" "Spring the trap." * Sokka is hot for Ty Lee, despite his anti-Fireness * Airbenders are freed * Katara is convinced to go home, despite not being "healed" * It's decided that the Airbenders will be safe with the Water Tribe.

The Seer * The gAang and the Airbenders go in search of the Water Tribe and the Seer, but find only a blind girl living in the wilderness outside Ba Sing Se. It turns out to be Toph, the Seer, and her rebels surround the gAang. * She has a guard of Blue Spirits, led by Jet. He lobbies for Toph to capture them for Iroh, and Toph isn't sure who to throw in with, her mysterious patron or the wimpy Avatar. * Aang wins, somehow. Thanks to Mai? Toph takes them to Full Moon Bay. * The bay is a giant grotto where the Southern Water Tribe has joined with Toph's rebels to form a great village, living mostly off of fish but also trying to set up some farming. * The Ba Sing Se ashland is on the horizon, and Aang can sense that the Dark Side is very strong there. He and Mai go to have a look, and they encounter Long Feng.

The Spirit Hunters * Long Feng introduces himself and his Spirit-hunting Dai Li, introducing themselves as Ghostbusters, but noting that they have aspirations to fix the whole world of the spirit problems. * The two stupid Dai Li agents Zhuang and Laotao are Long Feng's sidekicks. * Aang is all over this, and so wants to know how he can help. * Long Feng secretly tags Mai with a tracking spirit. * Long Feng claims to need platinum, and points to a Fire Nation shipment about which he has intelligence (how?) that he needs Aang to rob for him, since he doesn't have the manpower to strike at the Southern Seas. Aang agrees. * The Fire Teens have tracked Aang to Full Moon Bay, and prepare to strike.

The White Gold * The gAang hits the platinum shipmen in the Southern Seas, and then (Iroh's subcontracted) pirates attack to steal the same platinum * Meanwhile, the Fire Teens (and June) infiltrate Full Moon Bay, and get into a skirmish with Jet, Toph, and Katara.

Resurrection * Long Feng has been looking for a way to bring Ba Sing Se back, inspired by visions he had walking through the former city's ashland, and thinks that Aang can making the visions reality, using a ceremony that will 'pin' the etheral Ba Sing Se in place using platinum spires. * Things start to go wrong: Spirit Godzilla? * The Fire Teens mess things up, and Jet retreats to get Iroh's help. * Zhao is drawn by the spectacle, attacking Full Moon Bay * Aang uses the technique that The Guru taught him in order to defeat Godzilla. * Long Feng seems to die, but he's captured by Zhao and saved by Bangfei to be presented (with his records and spirit research) to Iroh. * Aang kisses Mai * Zuko forgives Mai * Ty Lee kisses Sokka, but he rejects her * Jet shows up at the end to herald reinforcements from the Northern Water Tribe, and reveals that he helped kidnap/save Mai's family. The help defeats Zhao's forces, and Pakku meets with Aang and passes on Iroh's offer to win the war.

#writing #traitor's face

[stainedglassgardens]

Watched in January:

Like Father

Upgrade

Skate Kitchen

Never Been Kissed

Anomalisa

Dick 

The Black Balloon

Under the Silver Lake

6 Balloons

Rosy

The Party’s Just Beginning 

The Rider

Snowpiercer

Touch of Evil 

Thirteen 

Sadie

The Miseducation of Cameron Post

Frida

Fyre: The Greatest Pary That Never Happened

Time Share (Tiempo Compartido)

The Stranger 

Abducted in Plain Sight

King of Thieves

Malevolent

Serena

Baise-moi 

And Breathe Normally (Andið Eðlilega)

Catwalk: Tales from the Cat Show Circuit 

Santoalla

Jane Fonda in Five Acts

Mademoiselle Paradis (Licht)

The B-Side: Elsa Dorfman's Portrait Photography

Did not finish

Inception (Christopher Nolan, 2010)

Tau (Federico D'Alessandro, 2018)

Laerte-se (Eliane Brum, Lygia Barbosa da Silva, 2017)

Struggle: The Life and Lost Art of Szukalski (Ireneusz Dobrowolski, 2018)

Never Goin’ Back (Augustine Frizzell, 2018)

Did not like

Like Father (Lauren Miller Rogen, 2018)

Never Been Kissed (Raja Gosnell, 1999)

Anomalisa (Charlie Kaufman and Duke Johnson, 2015)

Snowpiercer (Bong Joon-ho, 2013)

Malevolent (Olaf de Fleur, 2018)

Sort of okay, maybe

The Black Balloon (Elissa Down, 2008)

Under the Silver Lake (David Robert Mitchell, 2018)

Rosy (Jess Bond, 2018)

Fyre: The Greatest Pary That Never Happened (Chris Smith, 2019)

Time Share (Tiempo Compartido, Sebastián Hofmann, 2018)

King of Thieves (James Marsh, 2018): Fantastic actors, great dialogue... The second half of the film is really muddled though. Only recommended if you’re really into heist films (which I am, but like... sadly, it’s not that good)

Serena (Susanne Bier, 2014): I disagree with the people who didn’t understand Serena’s so-called change in character (she fuckin [spoiler spoiler spoiler], how the fuck isn’t that enough to change a person’s entire life???), also didn’t agree that the national park thing was a bad idea (in fact I thought it was one of the best things about the film). However, I also thought the killer guy character fell flat, the story had potential but was half-baked, and it didn’t make half as much of its setting as it could have. So. Watch Bird Box instead.

And Breathe Normally (Andið Eðlilega, Ísold Uggadóttir, 2018)

Catwalk: Tales from the Cat Show Circuit (Aaron Hancox and Michael McNamara, 2018)

The B-Side: Elsa Dorfman's Portrait Photography (Errol Morris, 2016)

Mademoiselle Paradis (Licht, Barbara Albert, 2017)

Fine fine films

Sadie (Megan Griffiths, 2018): Okay I did watch it because Melanie Lynskey is in it but it was pretty good, although it did feel like a first feature film a lot of the time, and I was a bit disappointed in Megan Griffiths when I learnt it wasn’t

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (Desiree Akhavan, 2018): Just a... good companion to the book, a great film for gay teenagers to have, but I did not think it was anything special in and of itself

Frida (Julie Taymor, 2002): Really puzzled at the choice of making an English-language film where everyone speaks with “Mexican accents,” whatever that means... It was fine though, and would make as good an introduction as any to Frida Kahlo’s life

Really enjoyed

Upgrade (Leigh Whannell, 2018): Like a cyberpunk Ex Machina

Skate Kitchen (Crystal Moselle, 2018): Great visuals, great setting, great acting... the only thing that makes it not an absolute favourite is the weak plot (I’m a plot person)

6 Balloons (Marja-Lewis Ryan, 2018): Just a very solid film about addiction and sibling love

The Rider (Chloé Zhao, 2017): It’s beautiful. It’s not trying to be any more than it is, not romanticising its subject, just showing matter-of-fact beauty (and heartbreaking drama)

Touch of Evil and The Stranger (Orson Welles, 1958 and 1946): I saw so many not-so-good old films last year that I almost forgot what I love about them. These were my second and third Orson Welles films, and I liked them a lot more than The Lady from Shanghai -- The Stranger particularly. What can I say? It’s Orson Welles

Thirteen (Catherine Hardwicke, 2003): Basically I feel that this should be the standard and the goal for everyone making a film about thirteen-year-olds

Abducted in Plain Sight (Skye Borgman, 2017): This month’s film that fucked me up. And it’s a documentary. And the new Ted Bundy Netflix series is like, nothing compared to how fucked up this is

Baise-moi (Virginie Despentes and Coralie Trinh Thi, 2000): It’s hard for me to dissociate the film from the book (which I love dearly). Mainly though, like a lot of Virginie Despentes’s early work (Trois Etoiles comes to mind), I thought it was slightly more laudable than enjoyable. I do wish there were more films like this, just... better ones, if that makes sense. Still very good though, and recommended

Santoalla (Andrew Becker and Daniel Mehrer, 2016): Jesus... just watch it without knowing anything about it if you want to be thoroughly spooked

Jane Fonda in Five Acts (Susan Lacy, 2018): I love Jane Fonda ten times as much as I did before I saw this. She is so incredibly self-aware, and the documentary is so well-researched and to the point. What a fantastic woman

Favourites of the month

Dick (Andrew Fleming, 1999): Why everyone still isn’t talking about a comedy in which teen-aged Kirsten Dunst and Michell Williams are responsible for the Watergate scandal is honestly beyond me

The Party’s Just Beginning (Karen Gillan, 2018): You ever see one of these films that make you think, wow, this is really what life is like? Not in a Debra-Granik, Kelly-Reichardt, giving-a-voice-to-those-etc. sort of way, just in a sort of... like, you nod along really hard because you feel like you get it and it gets you... you know? I’ve been trying to pinpoint what takes it from “very good” to “wow” and I think the soundtrack, the title, the assault scene and its aftermath are some elements, but mostly it really feels like Gillan decided to talk about what she knew with great tact and empathy... This is probably going into my favourites-of-the-year list, and it’s also one of those rare films I really want to rewatch again and again

#watched in 2019 #films

[lightshielded]

meta / on jarvan’s family

king jarvan lightshield iii is the current reigning monarch of demacia and is the third of his family to be elected to the position of demacia’s ruler. jarvan iv stands a striking resemblance to his father, sharing many structural similarities and those of his complexion, eye colour and hair colour. jarvan iii, like his son, was an only child and was deeply pressured to continue the succession by his own parents. so, when he ascended to king, only just in his twenties, and after an appropriate period of private courtship, he declared his intent to marry his then betrothed -- lady catherine spiritmight, a tall, proud woman with light auburn hair, well - defined features and a renown political and militaristic lineage and personal history which made her much loved amongst the people. 

jarvan iii’s marriage was born of both a strong political need and a deep affection, him seeing that he could not rule alone and that his love would make a fine queen the people would rally behind.  their ‘ private ’ courtship and affections towards each other had been rumoured about the court for some time, however were only open about it after jarvan iii took to the throne. very early into their union ( after just one year ) they conceived their one and only child, prince jarvan iv. however, tragedy befell the couple as complications during the birth of their son took catherine’s life, ending her rule as queen shy of two years. now widowed for over twenty - five years, jarvan iii still remains exceedingly faithful to his wife -- choosing not to remarry -- and continues to ignore the courtships of other members of the court. 

despite the mix of sorrow around his son’s birth, jarvan iii cares very deeply about his son, though his busy schedules and work requirements do not always permit him the time to show it. in the wake of his loss, he decided the best thing for jarvan iv was to be prepared for the life he would inevitably have, to protect him from any dangers which might befall him with ruthless efficiency, and to raise him to be the king he himself had lost the drive to be, though this decision had its own draw back and faults through the amount of pressure it would put on the prince and the isolation for those his own age he experienced in his early years. in memory of his wide, he also decided that he would give their son a chance to court a partner of his own volition before broaching the topic of an arranged marriage -- a reason for his unusually mature age for an unmarried noble -- and that he would still provide him the chance of the final say for if he was happy or displeased with any possible suggested spouses. 

jarvan dearly loves his father, though, due to being raise more by his tutors and minders, his relationship with him is not as close as either of them would wish. also, as result of never having met his mother, his emotions to her are mixed. he loves her undoubtedly, but he knows that truly he can only love the memories people speak of than her herself. so, while he cares for both his parents, his next strongest emotions towards them are that of loyalty and anxiety, in equal amounts. for just as much as he loves them, he feels a strong duty towards his family and a great fear that he might fail in those duties, and thus to his country. the thought of disappointing his father, or dirtying the memory of his mother by his short comings, often drives his streak of over perfectionism and zealot - like dedication to his work.

however, one such tutor would become family. at five summers old, the young prince would watch his father proclaim a stranger from a foreign land as to be a defender of their house. and if would be that same year that he would proclaim xin zhao his uncle. while he dearly loved and respected his father, if he had to admit it then he would say xin raised him most. from the ways of weapons to stories about the world beyond, xin was jarvan’s favourite tutor and he thought of him like a second father. now with his father and mother both gone, jarvan finds the only familial support he truly has in xin and sees him as someone he can be open with as well as vulnrable -- something he has largely trained not to be so those under his direction have a strong figure to rely on. 

in addition to his immediate family, he has a somewhat larger expanded family. jarvan’s uncle, and elder - brother to his mother catherine, is lord henry spiritmight. henry is a tall, athletic man with dark auburn hair and fair complexion. like his younger - sister, henry is exceedingly politically minded and has an extensive educational background in business, politics and weapons - mastery and military strategy. during his own military career, he numbered among the ranks of the elite ranger - knights and is well known for the great draw strength of his favoured bow. while ever - loyal and always prepared to don his armour again should demacia need it, his long - bow is now mostly only drawn for hunting.   

similarly to his sister, henry was also arranged to marry for political advancements. his wife, now lady yvette spiritmight, was the youngest daughter of a wealthy mercantile and artisan family. her slighter frame, shorter stature and innate elegance makes for quite a stark difference between the pair. despite their courtship being arranged, the pair found themselves to be a rather well - suited couple; she taken by his rugged charm and quick wit, and he by her endless compassion and keen - insight. the two make a very strong business minded couple and find they compliment each other well, balancing each others short coming and bolstering each others strengths.

as part of his extended family and henry and yvette’s union, jarvan has two cousins, madeleine spiritmight and frederick spiritmight. like their royal cousin and, as required by their family and positions, both frederick and madeleine have studied deeply into the fields of politics, economics and weapons - mastery, as well as both the arts and trades. at present, madeleine is bethrothed to be married and frederick is noticeably unreceptive to courtship. due to distance in family and his continually busy schedule, jarvan is not especially close to either of his extended family members and generally only sees them at formal or family events, but he does have a few fond memories with them from when he was younger. though, he finds talking with frederick especially hard for he is an exceedingly reserved man, even for jarvan’s standards.

#so here is a meta on jarvan's parents #plus some of his closer extended family #this is why jarvan has his opinions and ideas on arranged marriage #as discussed in a previous meta #sorry if this got rambly and choppy at times #i was trying to stop it from getting too long #— meta ` #on: relationships #long post /

[delphicoraclecatss]

Mid Year Book Tag

I wasn't tagged but i saw this and wanted to do it

Best book you’ve read so far in 2020:

Rivers of London - Ben Aaronovitch A fantasy crime novel, my first crime focused book actually, set in London (obviously). I grew up in England so this book brought back a lot of childhood memories. I loved the characters and the plot was engaging even if the ending seemed a bit rushed to me.

Best sequel you've read so far in 2020.

The Subtle Knife - Philip Pullman The second book in the His Dark Materials Trilogy and all around a great book. I loved the first which I read last year and look forward to getting into the tv show. Definitely something I would recommend.

New release you haven't read yet but want to.

Ariadne - Jennifer Saint As an avid reader of mythology as a child, when I found out about this book through discord i was immediately intrigued. I haven't seen the book instores here and I'm not the biggest fan of ordering but will I if I don't find it.

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year.

Iron Widow - Xiran Jay Zhao

Under siege by monsters beyond the Great Wall like that shitty Matt Damon movie, except the monsters are Cybertronian-like sentient machines, a society that has the fashion, social customs, and beliefs of Ancient China but futuristic tech fights back by pulling a Neon Genesis Evangelion and rebuilding their very invaders into giant mecha.

I found Zhao on youtube and when I saw this and read her (non-serious) summary what could I do except preorder

Biggest disappointment.

The Fellowship of the Ring - J.R.R. Tolkien If anyone sees this someone is going to get mad but I really don't like Tolkiens writing style and found this, and the hobbit, really hard to get through despite wanting to enjoy it. I've been told the next one is better so I will try it.

Biggest surprise.

Throne of Glass - Sarah J. Maas I only read these books because a family member brought me a bunch of them. I was expecting to hate it for a variety of reasons but I found myself enjoying it. Far from my favourite book this year but still decent.

Favourite new author. (Debut or new to you)

Ben Aaronovitch He wrote my favourite book and I loved his writing. (also I had already read something by most of the other authors)

Newest fictional crush.

I'm not one for getting crushes on fictional characters so don't have one

Newest favourite character.

Mina Harker - Dracula The first book read this year. She was a really well-written character, had a lot of agency and was very smart. I can only imagine how great she could have been written as the main character or without the occasional 'women are too emotionally weak for this.'

Book that made you cry

Illuminae - Jay Kristoff, Amie Kaufman I started off disliking the book and given the length, was prepared to dnf. By the halfway mark I started getting really invested in the characters and by the end as the plot kept hitting I was in tears.

Book that made you happy

Good Omens - Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman Wasn't as good as I was hoping but still, a fun read.

Most beautiful book you've bought so far this year (or received)

The Grandest Bookshop in the World - Amelia Mellor I haven't brought many books this year as I'm trying to get through my unreads but this book's cover was what initially drew me in. it's not the prettiest book I own (those I believe are my Chiltern Classics) but the cover is beautiful and eye catching.

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

Artemis Fowl

The Grandest Bookshop in the World

The Fever Code

Whisper Duology

The Lightning Thief

The Diabolic

The Picture of Dorian Grey

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

The Testaments

A Game of Thrones

I didn't read many books last year so this is a very ambitious list but with how this month has gone so far I think I can make it. If anyone has any book recommendations I am always open.

#mid year book tag #2021 #book tag #bookblr #muse reads

[paraclete0407]

When I was at Governor’s School after the ‘Oh! Are you a Retardican?’ thing and getting volleyball-smashed in my finger for implying something about male-female differences (I did not say ‘traditional’ since I am pro-renovation / Pope Saint John Paul II) - started practicing the piano again, ‘Claire de Lune’ and two of Chopin’s waltzes. I didn’t know any ‘sweet’ music for girls.  As a kid I liked ‘Swans on the Lake.’  One of my other favorites is Liszt’s transcription of the ‘Shepherd’s Song’ or last movement of Beethoven’s fourth symphony.  Weavings and ‘declamations(?’).  But to some the weavings are flower-garlands or vine-stems or sth and to some they are chains; I wonder how Arturo Benedetti Michelangeli would interpret the weavings given his ‘bulletization’ of Chopin elsewhere how his fioritura are like a figure-skater using gravity-boots and wires from the ceiling. 

Watched a bit of the Int. Chop. Comp just now and realized - IMO - they’re just using the wrong pianos and have for a long time.  Chopin started out IIRC with sth called a fortepiano and throughout his life preferred uprights to grands; his favorite brand was Pleyel, perhaps ‘rosewood.’  Some of these heavier grands not only obviate the possibility of the miraculous or intuitive or non-personal(?) in the fioritura (chains of gracenotes), but can cause lasting nerve-damage and even dystonia(?)(a kind of paralysis).  NYT of course loves to use STEM and call everything ‘small muscle athletes.’  To achieve certain ‘pellucid(?),’ singing effect the triceps sth sth I think.  To me perhaps the most totally realized pianist of 20C was Uchida Mitsuko but honesty I don’t have the money to know or the time to listen to hundreds of records.  I just felt as though she never threw a note away - she had no ‘personality cult’ as a pianist.  The other I admire from an ethical standpoint Wilhelm Kempff.  Kempff could’ve been a ‘gr8′ Headmaster.  

Milstein, Furtwaengler.  Heifetz as obviously gifted but IDK if I ever felt ‘wow’ or ‘oh’ listening to him.  Milstein’s ‘Chaconne’ starts to rip the chains and weavings both apart; like Bach is attacking his math or rebelling against God.  

I never studied conducting but surely one of the problem has to be giving the violins a ‘true voice’ which Furtwaengler is able to do in ‘Shepherd’s Song’ along with the flutes.  Orchestras need many violins and only a few trumpets ad trombones and on, but even with many the violin section can lack a ‘will to live(?),’ ‘identity,’ ‘face?’  There is a ‘bright’ at the end of his ‘Shepherd’s Song’ - literal ecstasy which IDK how he was able to inspire either the violinists or to get the other sections to back off.  In America there are all these jokes and during choir break they’re playing Mario-songs on the piano.

If you lose everything that was special about you at the end of your life were you ever truly doing what you enacted or acted out?  What was my most specific trait?  Was it ultimately snobbery?  

Lately I want to punch through doors and stuff.  Maybe I ought to go back to the night at the department store with person and person; downtown Milwaukee used to have a ‘certain shade of blue’ to their Christmas-lights in 2008 but today the whole city that I can tell drank warm Burger King milk before singing ‘Deck the Halls’ and it shows.  Like everyone I love ‘The Carol’ and sometimes tell myself 3-gen’s ‘Hail Mary(?)’ moment was ‘Wish Tree.’

At the hagwon I was known for leaving the side-office at the right moment ater telling a joke but it’s really easy to be like that and in the land of lemmings and Ewoks that’s all some people want like 55-year-old male nurse when I criticize him for railroading me - not giving me 1 minute to make a life-crucial decision -he comes at me with my own ‘executive style’ like, ‘How you like me now oppa?’  Like DROP FUCKING DEAD.  I try to make them crisp and considerate but they don’t get that procedure and style have human consequences - that they belong to an organization that impacts lives.  Just banging on their drum... no ‘chain of care,’ no ‘ownership.’  Lt’s just Thatcherize all of Wisconsin!  They actually kill people this way and Biden says social media is killing people.  I wasn’t asking you for peanuts or a glass of OJ I am asking to be allowed to consider my own body, psyche, soul.

And it’s like all of America or the world, Jiang Zemin.  TS 1989 they ask for democracy and not only can CCP not say ‘no’ but they have no process or plan; I don’t even know.  It’s like your pussy bitch father finally tried to an up - a bit like ‘Anna Karenina’ where the husband starts quoting the Bible but who knows what is in his heart or whether he has any [nunchi?]; whether say he LIKES Christianity or would feel sad or disappointed if he lost it? 

CCP ccream at each other in a closed session for days.  I just tell myself again, ‘Oh XJP can’t quite control his own country and Mao was a blunt-force instrument and the remains of his heyday are being mitigated even still’ but in America and Europe they’ve never seen full-blown Maoism even in the times of Hitler and Stalin, that I know of.  Maybe in China after TS1989 they still let the pro-youth cadre live for decades under house-arrest, Zhao Ziyang, and maybe ‘e-flowers’ on the occasion of his passing for ‘a vanished world of love’ - ‘I am thinking of my old friend, ‘zi(?).’  I was fond of Tu Fu’s ‘Thinking of Li Bai Beyond the Sky,’ ‘Demons exult in human failure’ - but I mean literal demons not fairy-tale characters from Amy Tan stories that Chinese use to seem loveable.  And that too there again feeds in to ‘Op. White Summer’ / nuke Milwaukee / uke America.  

David  has a sense of evil like when driving to DC with TW-1 we got lost in Fredericksburg at night - never again.  Outside Madison 08.  Maybe bairen didn’t manage the environment here well, there is no real wilderness, everything is ’revolving in crystal’ or ‘the glass man, without external reference.’

I would look around for n/Nature more but the pervasive disbelief-engine or anti-belief-engine or whatever is happening t me with debates over the past has made it hard to drive and I lose energy quickly except with typing.  I miss my gifted student whom I tried to push to write her sci-fi novel about caste societies enabled by biotechnology but she was already pulling a Catherine Chung(?) talking about children and the coming generation instead of accomplishing the proximate mission or purpose or objective.  My uncle is /was really devout and resembles Saint Paul in my mind’s eye, kept his muscles in to his 90′s, and yet the transmission of his best values encountered massive interference - kids divorced, Spice Girls(?!), cultural Christianity / Christian nationalism(?), CS Lewis and Martin Luther saying it’s cool to tell sick jokes and fart, the jocular contempt of the Gingrich-era GOP for the poor and perhaps women.  And how most of my family’s money seemed to come from the arms-industry like the Sidewinder missile and eve after walking away from the mil-ind complex the mentality of massive retaliation or lethal and punitive solutions to all problems - but that is a a big intuitive leap and maybe self-serving.

One of the ‘split’ moments in my life was being offered a job at Catholic University of Daegu ad I requested 3 days to decide but was woken up in the morning at UncleHammer’s house told to leave immediately and forgot to reply b/c I had like 1hr sleep.  Just shouldn’t’ve been there.

This again why I say if I don’t die from coronavirus and ever work a good job again I should just talk out any problem all night or bear any burden; 10 billion people all wanna good job and ever 36-y/o male has stories and observations.  

‘Heaven and Earth.’  People tried so hard to make this world a little better, some theory of r/Revolution as bringing Heaven down to Earth and maybe now Man will go  out to the stars as well.

[seyaryminamoto]

May I ask, why does Azula make you passionate? Not a lot of people has the capability to empathize (NOT sympathize) with the antagonists, or a lot don't have the power to share or sense clearly their thoughts and feelings (for many reasons) as they do with the protagonists. Most people are mersiless toward them, even if they were understandable.

Uh, well, if you want the very honest answer? I saw myself in her. But if you want an in-depth answer, click the Read More.

I didn’t mean to, no. I didn’t go looking for myself in her character, I was uneasy about her, even somewhat worried, in her first episodes. She had been characterized very deliberately as colder, more scheming, more efficient than her brother or Zhao, the only Fire Nation villains we knew so far. She hadn’t quite succeeded at anything yet, but there was no tantrum after her failures, no self-pitying act: she simply kept going relentlessly. 

She wouldn’t stop at anything, and after watching her convince Mai so easily that her brother wasn’t worth trading over a king, it’s kind of natural to wonder if she’s really devoid of a conscience… No lie, though, it also reflects heavily on Mai that she agreed so easily. It especially looks like Mai has less of a conscience than Azula, since it’s her brother we’re talking about, and it doesn’t really look like she was scared of contradicting Azula: she had only ever complained about her family ever since she showed up on-screen. In short, I thought they were all weird and mean and morally incorrect! :’D

But I have had a penchant to grow interested in characters who are strong, who are driven to the ends of the earth. I used to think I favored tsundere-types of female characters back when I was in my anime-heavy phase, but soon enough I realized that wasn’t quite right: I was interested in female leaders instead, characters who were often tsundere because they bury their feelings deep down, because their main interests are professional, or academic… basically, they were ambitious people who sometimes went too far in dragging others into stuff they hadn’t signed up for (Ritsu Tainaka, Haruhi Suzumiya, Misaki Ayuzawa, Kyoko Mogami, Natsumi Tsujimoto, and so on…).

Basically, I’ve been appealed by characters who share Azula’s reckless determination, but when I approached Avatar I had also moved on mostly from anime, and I found myself, instead, writing an original story where my protagonist was a princess, hailing from a western nation she was supposed to rule one day. This princess was very determined, physically powerful to the point of being beyond human (then again, she was a literal descendant from gods :’D), with a terrible relationship with her family (in particular fighting with an older half-brother who wants to prove he’s more suitable for the throne than her). Said girl’s priority, first and foremost, is her nation, and she’s willing to go to whatever means she must in order to protect it (even resort to magic, which is frowned upon in her nation of warriors).

Now, after I exposed that character’s main traits to you, don’t you think there’s a few too many similarities with Azula? :’D yep, I thought so too as I continued watching ATLA. Tbh it freaked me out how similar they actually were, since I hadn’t watched the show or been influenced by it at all. I didn’t even know Azula existed!

Anyways! I’ve gone off the rails a bit, but back on track: why did I identify with Azula?

First off, I did start getting the feeling she was similar to those characters I loved, despite she was, obviously, meant to be a villain. But what REALLY did it for me?

It was the scene in Zuko Alone, when Iroh’s gifts arrive. Azula’s dear brother gets something mind-blowing while she gets something pathetic, generic, that someone assumed was going to please her because she’s a girl. Because girls like dolls, right?

Well, in my case, I got play make-up instead. I had a trauma with make-up since age 4, and if people had bothered knowing me, or even talking with my mom about me, they would have known that. They didn’t. It didn’t matter to them either way. Meanwhile, my brother’s gifts were incredible! :’D all sorts of action toys, new Hot Wheels, even remote-controlled cars. And when I wanted to play with them? I got a big ole’ NO from him, along with my parents telling me, often, that the toys were his and that I should let him play instead.

Heck, there was this one time he got this ship-in-a-bottle crafts as a present for his birthday from someone who worked at MY school. When I asked where was mine? Oh, there wasn’t one. My birthday was the day before my brother’s, the guy who made it worked at MY SCHOOL, but he would make a gift of the sort for my brother and not for me. I don’t remember if he even lied saying he’d make one, but fact of the matter is, I never got a handcrafted, special boat-in-a-bottle with my name on it. He did.

Let’s just say… when I saw Azula getting that disappointing doll while Zuko got the incredible knife, my jaw dropped. I literally dropped all my defenses against her along with my jaw, too. I saw that and damn, it put her character in a completely different perspective for me: it made her REAL, her experience with her brother resembled mine so much that I was in genuine shock. The salty “You’re not even good!” comment when he was playing with the knife, spoken with the intent to mask her interest in the weapon and her jealousy? The way she takes the knife later too, smirking and teasing her brother, yet letting him have it back because she knows it’s not supposed to be hers? Anon, I swear that was 100% the way I acted in countless similar situations. And I know, it may make me sound like a very bad sister (in Azula’s defense she’s actually a better sister than I am, in my brother’s defense he’s a better brother than Zuko could ever hope to be), but it’s still how it was.

From there onwards, a lot of my interest in Azula came from seeing how she suddenly stepped out of her “supreme villain overlord” role to prove she was really just a teenager like the rest of the cast. We’re talking about a girl who imitated her brother for shits and giggles, just to amuse herself at the expenses of a completely confused Aang. A girl who made a pun about the Avatar’s fangirls. Her sense of humor, no doubt, is kinda weird and not the sweetest? But she has one! It’s there, and no lie, I laughed my ass off with those two occasions at least.

Eventually, I just found myself more interested in her to the point of recklessly supporting her in the show. Yes, I knew the Gaang would win, and I didn’t mind, I liked them too! But I was slowly and surely loving Azula more with every passing episode, as she proved she was the one villain worth respecting in this entire franchise. And she was a fourteen-year-old girl with zero social skills, self-esteem issues to the ends of the earth, a turbulent relationship with her parents and her brother, and the frankly adorable wish to know if people might like her if they didn’t know she was a princess.

Another big selling point for me, as already stated, was her relationship with her brother. While my brother is a little less of a drag than Zuko can be (meaning, my brother can be happy once in a while :’D he even makes jokes… though seriously bad ones .__. maybe he shouldn’t make them...), their relationship was so similar to ours that it freaked me out. I’ve been competing with my siblings since forever, but when it came to outdoing my oldest sisters I seriously just couldn’t do it (honestly, no 3yo can expect to compete in regards of anything with a 10yo, or can she? :’D and yet I was such a pig-headed brat that I did it all the same). Meanwhile, my brother, only two years older than me, was an easier target to surpass, and I set myself on the task of doing that. Whenever he was better than me at anything, I ridiculed him (remember the knife scene?). Whenever I was better than him at anything, he would try to outdo me again and usually fail, then get annoyed and say it was a stupid thing anyways.

As we grew older, the conflict in our relationship grew a lot uglier in the sense that we didn’t really just snap at each other about toys now. I seriously got so pissed off by how entitled he was acting once that I locked myself up in the bathroom, punched a wall out of sheer frustration and damn near broke my hand in the process. No lie, that helped me vent my frustration real easily :’D

Basically, I’ve experienced the sibling relationship Azula did. My brother is far more popular than I am (well, in regards of people who live in our environment, at least), so everyone flocks to him, and when Azula’s friends betrayed her for Zuko, well… you can imagine how that stung for me :’D I’ve had friends who haven’t quite betrayed me for him or so, but they’ve stopped being my friends and become his, instead. How about that?

Anyways, Azula most likely wasn’t built up to be relatable, she was built to be a rounded character instead. There are more obviously relatable characters in the show, Katara is relatable for most the fandom, Toph is relatable for natural tomboys, and so on. But even then, none of these characters were built to be relatable. They were built to be real and believable, and in being built that way, they became relatable. And that’s what happened to me with Azula.

Honestly, I think I can’t really relate or empathize with Zuko a lot because of my own experiences too. I will judge him harder because yep, I’m biased :’D but I’m not trying to say he’s all bad and Azula is all good or anything. Truth be told, secret I’ve kept to myself for a long time… The finale depressed me for a day or two because I kept wondering if that was the only outcome for someone like Azula. Because in a sense, it looked like the show was saying that was kind of the outcome for someone like me. It felt like it was saying the world would judge me as impossible to save, while my brother got every success I could only dream of. 

And... who knows? Maybe that’s what’s happening indeed. He’s certainly doing better than me these days. All I can safely say is I’m glad he is. Despite things were bad between us, they’re not so bad anymore. So if I’m to be left unsuccessful and he’s off to shoot for the stars, I’ll congratulate him instead of holding grudges about why he gets that and I don’t.

Anyways, the finale freaked me out, but I distanced myself from the character to a degree so I wouldn’t project on her so much. Still, the way her ending wrapped up bothered me, and I was very much unwilling to see her life end that way. As the comics have been building her up either for a very bad downfall or for a very long redemption that still is barely beginning, I lose my patience often as I keep wanting something better for her ASAP. Not a lot of positive stuff has happened yet to her… but that’s what fanfiction is for, for me. Ever since I opened FF.net’s ATLA archive, the first thing I did was search for Azula getting happy endings xD

And thus, that’s why I write her as I do and connect with her as I have. Azula seems to gather most the traits of characters I loved, but on top of that, she had an eerily similar sibling relationship to mine with my brother. A lot of my own eternal chase towards polishing and developing my talents came from a rather toxic place of thinking that having lots of skills was the only way I could be valid, somehow. I’m not exempt from self-esteem issues myself, see :’D

Anyways, I realize the majority of people won’t find Azula relatable, acceptable, likeable in any way. I don’t mind, I don’t really think it’s that odd, the show very obviously featured her as a problem that needed to be dealt with. But I’m not one to stick with supporting only the heroes in stories. Very often I’ve liked villains better, whether because they’re complex and worth exploring, as Azula is, or because they’re simply more interesting than their heroic counterparts. I guess I could have said this from the start and spared you the insanely lengthy insight into how my mind works, right? :’D

#anon #boy that got long #sorry about that @_@