#We were talking about completely different shows

[ceesimz]

We're All We Need Today

Hey, long time no story! I'm back with this, something I had the idea for a long time ago but it was low on my list of favourites. Then I re-jigged it and re-worked it and now it's done! Everybody's favourite trope, or mine at least, angst to fluff. It's been a while since I last posted and I find myself riddled with nerves about posting stories again now, so (and I never do this because I cringe at myself) if you do like this story, please let me know in whatever way suits you because I'm seriously struggling with writer's anxiety right now and I don't have the foggiest idea how to get out of it😅

It should have been just a normal Tuesday. A normal evening on a random day mid-week in May. Training for you both that ended just after lunchtime, before meeting up at Alexia's apartment early evening after the pair of you attended meetings or completed other pieces of work. That all went smoothly, it was perfectly fine.

Alexia shouldn't have looked at your phone without your permission though. She shouldn't have looked at your messages in the first place, nevermind doing it behind your back.

"I cannot believe you told your friends and did not tell me first!" Alexia shouted at you as soon as you walked out of the bathroom, your phone opened onto your friend groupchat in her hand.

"What? Alexia, what are you doing? Are you looking through my phone?" You cried out, marching over to snatch it back, but she holds it in the air out of your reach like a high school bully. "What the hell do you think you're doing!?"

"You told your friends without conferring with me first. You went behind my back and you know I didn't want anyone knowing!"

"You've gone behind my back too, looking through my phone! Why did you do that?" You jumped and grabbed your phone, confirming exactly what you thought.

She had gone through your phone whilst you were out the room, had clicked onto a chat with your closest friends who you trusted more than almost everyone in your life, and she had read just one message that said 'What does your weekend look like in sunny Barcelona? Any plans with A?'

"No, no. You aren't flipping this around. You swore to me-" She jabbed her finger harshly against your chest as she spoke. "-that you would not tell anyone until I said you could."

Is she for real right now? Who are you even talking to?

This is not the woman you fell in love with almost seven months ago. This is not the woman who used her captaincy as an excuse to get your number. This is not the woman who asked to be your girlfriend in such a shy and awkward manner as she stumbled over her words whilst eating dinner with you on her sofa. This definitely isn't the woman who cares for you how no one else has, nor is this the woman who loves you infinitely and shows it in ways you never could have thought possible.

This is a selfish, egotistical, self-centred, and downright cold-hearted person you do not recognise. The version of Alexia in front of you here is one you thought you'd never, ever encounter. Yet, look at the situation now.

"So, what, I have to run everything by you? I can't tell my closest friends possibly the biggest detail in my life? I can't tell them I'm in love and happier than ever?"

"No. Not now. We promised we wouldn't tell anyone, and you have betrayed me." Alexia huffed angrily, her hands on her hips as she turned away from you.

"I wanted to share this part of my li- you, with them! And, Ale, you've told Alba and Eli, why can't I tell my friends?" You moved to stand in front of her so you're facing her again, and she fixed you a disapproving glare with a jut to her jaw.

"Friends are different to family - I've never met these people! What are their intentions? I don't know, and I don't want them knowing private facts about me. That is why I'm mad." Alexia gritted her teeth as she spoke, fury swimming through her veins as her hands gripped her own hips so tightly you were sure there'd be bruises the next time she looked.

"What are you even saying? Do you hear yourself right now?" You scoffed, your anger almost tripling when the woman in front of you chuckled.

"Trust me, I hear myself. I also hear you denying everything, denying the fact you've outed our relationship, denying the fact you've broke my trust. Betrayed the one thing I asked you to promise not to do. Maybe you're the one who needs their ears checking, remember when I said 'let's wait some time to tell people.' Maybe you misheard me and thought I said 'how about we tell every fucking person in the city?' So yes, I hear myself. Very clearly, you don't have to worry about that."

You stared, glared, at her for a few moments, gobsmacked at the turn of events whilst also trying not to burst into tears. This is a situation you never thought would occur between you both, and the vile way she spoke to you paired with her foul accusations had you slipping on your shoes and leaving her apartment. And, possibly the worst part of it all? She didn't even try to stop you.

Why was it always about her, about what she wants, always on her terms?

What about your opinion? She didn't care to hear you out, and it sounds like she doesn't give two flying fucks what you've got to say. Alexia Putellas and her dense head coming into play again, only caring about herself and her legacy and what people say about her. You'd think that as someone who, to the public, seems so very secure and content in her position as the best women's player still in the game, that she wouldn't be so worrisome and out-right vile if there was a chance something wasn't going her way.

No, she wasn't like that with you at least, not at all. You hadn't been together long, but the secrecy and, what you inferred now as shame, seeped into your mind and with each step as you walked home that day, you grew more and more, not only utterly infuriated, but overwhelmingly perturbed at the prospect of just... everything.

Perhaps your whole relationship had merely been a fluke. Something Alexia didn't take serious in the slightest, and nowhere near serious enough for you to tell people about it. Maybe, at the end of the day, you were too much for her to deal with, and the only way the Catalan could cope was by keeping you behind closed doors. The theories your mind was coming up made you sick to the pit of your stomach, and it was a miracle that you made it to the bathroom of your apartment by the time you were emptying the contents of your body.

There was some kind of higher power watching over you, because this whole fiasco had occurred when there were two days off afterwards. It was coming up to the tail end of the season, and as the latter half of the month was jam-packed with tense games, you had planned to make the most of the time off. With a few social events scattered across the two days, you had been greatly looking forward to spending time with your teammates outside of the pitch, your friends, and at the time most importantly, Alexia. That all didn't seem enticing anymore, nor did it even seem possible.

For the time being though, as you stumbled your way out of the bathroom and fell into bed, the breakfast catch-ups and evening dinners were the last things on your mind. The only way you wanted to spend your time off, was wallowing in a trench of self-pity.

And that's how you found yourself in the gym of your apartment complex some fourty hours later.

Jab, jab, hook. Jab, jab, hook. Right hook, then a left uppercut, and another right hook to follow.

Punch after punch after punch after punch. There was no stopping you in this mindset. Not with the things your head was chanting, Alexia's words circling endlessly around your mind. They were what fuelled you right now, allowing you to lay into the punching bag before you with no second thought to the consequences.

And those consequences were sure to bring you a lot of pain later, in your hands that weren't wrapped up like they should, nevermind wearing gloves.

There was music playing through the earphones you had in, but for the life of you, you couldn't even register it right now. Your vision was blurred by pure rage, failing to recognise the cuts forming with every unrestrained punch and the bruises beginning to form along the bumps of each knuckle. You had tunnel vision on one thing and one thing only, and that was trying to dispel yourself of the all-consuming anger that had plagued you for almost two days now.

"Amiga! Basta, basta, hey." A soft voice broke through your trance as your earphones were delicately tugged from your ears. "Hey, you hear me?"

As your hands were gently taken ahold of by the figure to your right, you took a deep breath and leaned forward to rest your forehead against the bag. It was now that the woman beside you realised just how poor your breathing was, and she brought one of her hands to rub caringly up and down your back.

"Más despacio, relájate. Tómatelo con calma, vale? Relájate." Her voice soothed you a little, giving you the peace of mind you needed to set your breathing back to normal. "Are you with me?"

At that, you nod and take some more breaths before leaning up and taking in the person beside you. It was Mariona, who you shared the same apartment complex with, a fact you had forgotten about. In this moment, you weren't sure if you were thankful for that fact or if you resented it.

"Yes, with you." You wiped your face on the sleeve of your shirt before properly looking at her.

"Are you okay?" Mariona knew it probably wasn't the wisest thing to say, but for the moment as she collected her thoughts and did an internal assessment of the situation, it was more of a buffer than anything.

"Um, I guess there's no point lying, is there." You state flatly, the Spaniard smiling sadly at you and shaking her head. "Things aren't great... right now, so."

"Okay. That's okay." Mariona's smile was perhaps the brightest thing you'd seen, and with her looking at you the way she was, with so much care and a major lack of judgement, it was hard to reject the help she was soon to offer.

"Will you let me take care of you? I have a first aid kit in my apartment that I can use for these." She gestured down to your bruised and battered hands that were growing more painful by the second. "We can talk if you want, or you can at least let me patch you up and I can call somebody else. It's up to you."

You thought you knew what you wanted, and it wasn't this, but now that the offer is glaringly right in your face, your inner monologue urged you to fall to your knees and beg for assistance, for someone to scoop up all the negativity in your mind and lift the weight of it from your shoulders.

Isolating yourself from everyone, as you had done in the last days, wasn't healthy in the slightest, and rationally you knew the excuses you gave for doing so were completely unwarranted. Yes, you were the newest signing, and yes, Alexia was the captain and the glue of the team. However, that did not lessen your worth, you still deserved your spot on the team and you deserved to be treated with humanity. As Mariona had shown in the span of a few moments, your teammates wouldn't pick sides depending on how long you had and hadn't known people, and they certainly wouldn't treat you any less just because you had fallen out with - foregoing her team title - your girlfriend.

You were only human after all.

"I would appreciate that, thank you, Mariona."

Once more, the forward smiled politely at you and nodded, moving to wait at the door to the gym to wait for you as you collected up your things. Each movement of your hands had you grimacing in discomfort, a fact not lost on Mariona as she took the items, like your water bottle and your jumper, from you just to take the edge off a little.

You weren't too close with Mariona, you had gravitated towards the likes of Ingrid and Fridolina and Aitana when you joined (and Alexia, of course), but at the end of the day she was still your teammate and you often found yourself in a group with her in training since you were also a forward. The 28 year old was a hard-worker, yet she was also one of the most laid-back people you'd ever met, so in her presence it was hard not to allow yourself to relax even just a tiny bit. The aura that radiated off of her was oddly settling, and as you both made your way up to her apartment in relative silence, you were offered your first slice of serenity since that day not too long ago.

"Would you like a shower first? You look like you worked yourself hard in there." Mariona offered as she closed the door of her apartment behind you.

"No, it's okay, thanks." You gave her an awkward, tight-lipped smile, feeling somewhat embarrassed at having been caught in such a vulnerable moment - a moment when you were filled with such rage and negativity, that all you could do was lay into a harmless object like a woman possessed.

"Alright. Sit down at the counter, I will get all I need and be with you in a second."

With a sheepish nod, you complied and sat at the island counter in the kitchen, taking a moment to compose yourself before you knew an emotionally charged conversation was about to take place. You were tempted to take Mariona up on her offer to call somebody else, but honestly you were already exhausted and just wanted to get this whole situation off of your chest.

You'd been lugging it around for days now, encumbered by the weight of anger that, as time went on, was bleeding into exasperation and disconcertion because, in all honesty, you just wanted your girlfriend back. That was a little difficult though, because the woman in question was still being as cold as ever and for the life of you, you couldn't get a good read on her to figure out what her stand was on it all now. Whether she'd confided in Mapi or Irene or her sister or even Mariona, you had no idea, you just hoped there was still an ounce of her that cared for you in just a sliver of the way you did for her.

Though you hadn't seen or heard from her since that evening, her actions and her words were still fresh on your mind, and no matter how much time you spent mentally going through each doing of hers, it all made zero sense. In no way shape or form had Alexia portrayed such viciousness towards you, nor had she ever been so horrible and completely unfair in the time you had known her. Maybe it was a case of only knowing her for a short-ish amount of time, but her behaviour seemed so out of character that it set a feeling of uneasiness in your chest.

Hopefully, bumping into Mariona, someone who had been good friends with Alexia for a long time, would give you some insight into why the Barcelona captain had acted in such ways.

"Here we go. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but it is unfortunately a necessary evil in this case." Mariona purses her lips forgivingly as she pulls out two alcohol wipes that already have you wincing at the thought. "Are you ready?"

"Yep, just get it done with. Please."

You hold your breath as she rips open one of the packets, then you watch on as she takes hold of your left hand first and lightly runs it over and in between each knuckle. It hurts a hell of a lot, sure it does, but with the tenderness that the Spaniard treats you with, all you can focus on is trying not to burst into tears at the kindness you're faced with. Your mind has been anything but towards you, and the last proper human interaction you had that had been longer than a few brief minutes was your intense argument with Alexia. So this moment here was overwhelming, in many more ways than one.

"That's one done, your right hand looks a bit worse. Am I okay to carry on?"

Honestly, why couldn't you have fallen for someone like Mariona, instead of the ignorant, hot-headed woman you were in love with?

"Yeah, it's fine."

The silence between you both is weirdly not unsettling or awkward at all, instead it's relatively comforting and for the first time in days, your skin isn't crawling at the fact you're left alone with nothing but the sound of your endless cycle of thoughts.

The Spaniard standing beside you was correct, your right hand was indeed slightly worse off than your left, and that was only made more clear with each brush of the wipe, clearing away the blood only to show cuts in the divots of your knuckles and bruises covering the entirety of the right end of your hand.

"You have a good punch on you, ever thought about boxing instead of football?" Mariona joked, trying to uplift the heavy atmosphere in the room.

"No, wouldn't want to mess up this face." You replied, the forward laughing quietly and nodding.

"You are right, and football is much more easy to watch."

You supplied her with an agreeing smile, trying to hide your discomfort as she moved your hands around to assess the damage and make a plan of action.

"Okay, I think I will apply some antiseptic cream for your cuts and wrap them up with bandages. Then I will give you an ice pack for each hand, does that sound alright?"

"That's perfect, Mariona, thank you." You smile gratefully at her, and thought it's not a genuine smile, you hope she understands the appreciation you hold for her.

"It is not a problem. We look after each other at Barça, sabes? Anything you need, please do not be afraid of reaching out. To any of us."

And there is her segue into striking up the conversation you'd both danced around since she saw you.

You had to give it to her, she let a few moments pass by so it could come across as a bit less obvious, but nevertheless it happened just as you had expected.

"Are you comfortable talking to me about what happened in the gym?" She took note of the hesitation you greeted that question with, so she put the tube of cream down and faced you fully. "That was a bit concerning to walk in on, and I wouldn't be at peace with myself if I let you out of here without checking in on you."

"I... I guess, yeah." You sighed.

"Thank you. How would you like to start?" Mariona wondered with her ever-present smile, pairing it with a nonchalant shrug, further evidence of her care-free nature that continued to draw you in. "You can start talking about what is on your mind, or I can ask some leading questions to help. I am fine with anything, I just want you to leave here feeling a bit better."

Mariona had asked you a few moments ago if you had ever thought about boxing. Now, you wanted to ask her if she'd ever considered being a psychologist.

"I think it would help if you asked some questions, maybe." You decided, and she nodded instantly. She grabbed the tube of cream again and started applying it at the same time she uttered her first query.

"Do you normally practice on the bag without gloves on?" It was a very light one to start off with, perhaps something to be grateful for, but despite feeling a little calmer now, your mind was still in turmoil and wasn't fully recovered yet.

"No, I always wrap them up. I didn't even plan on using the bag today, it just... I was on the treadmill and then I saw it and wanted to use it. I wasn't really thinking straight, so. Yeah. This is the result of that." You took a sharp breath as the forward smoothed over a particularly bad cut with the antiseptic.

"Mhm. And, forgive me for this one, was it your intention to hurt yourself?"

That one took your breath a little.

"No, no, not at all. It wasn't even a thought in my head, I swear, I only wanted to get my anger out." You responded hastily, trying to convince her that you were relatively okay and that this was just a blip, and you didn't need some kind of intervention.

"Okay, thank you for being honest. I'm very glad to hear that, and I'll take your word for it." After finishing with your current hand, she squeezes it comfortingly and moves onto your other one. "Are you willing to tell me what's wrong? Why you needed to get some anger out?"

"Yeah... yeah, I am. I have to give you some context though, and I'd be really grateful if you kept it between us."

Mariona wasn't a gossip by any sorts, but as a result of the months of Alexia's words drilling into you of how nobody can know about you both, it was still an anxiety you had. Yet, the woman looking after you in such a heart-warming way was quite possibly the good samaritan you needed right now, her acts of kindness a reminder to not lose all hope with the world around you. You were well within your right to freak out in the way you had - not only were you in an entirely new city, learning a language you hadn't paid any mind to since school, but rather naively you had probably depended on Alexia more than you should have.

It was a lesson to be learnt, a mistake you wouldn't make again, though in the future even if you didn't recognise it yet, you'd look back on your time so far and wouldn't even regret it that much. After all, every moment of the past ten months had led you to the love of your life, and nothing was ever completely perfect. You would take a few bumps in the road if it meant you could end the season with a few medals around your neck and the greatest woman you'd ever met on your arm. Sure, you might not think the greatest of her right now, but you would mend it. You were sure you would. Hopefully.

"Of course, I won't tell a soul. You can tell me anything and no one will ever hear a word of it." Mariona reasurred you and though you hadn't really doubted her in the first place, you were still beyond grateful to hear that.

"So, um... Alexia and I have been in a relationship for a few months."

Yet again, Mariona continued to surprise you with how marvelous she was. Or maybe it was just an after effect of how much Alexia's words had got to you, because when the islander simply raised her eyebrows for a millisecond before nodding as you revealed your news, you're shocked at how much of a low-key reaction she gave. Whether she had an incredible poker-face or she just didn't care half as much as Alexia thought people would, your body sagged in relief at that minute response. As far as human beings go, this one right here wasn't too bad at all.

"And, for reasons I still don't understand, she was adamant that we keep it a secret. Like it was some kind of war tactic we had to keep safe. She made it out to be a make or break situation for us. But she told Eli and Alba less than a week after we made it all official, which I didn't think much of. I talked to her about it back then, wondering if it was just something she wanted to keep quiet while we were only in the dating stage, but she told me I still couldn't tell anyone. I guess because I was still relatively new here, with not many close friends and still with the mindset of trying to earn my place in the team, I agreed. Then as time went on I got a bit... annoyed with what Alexia wanted, but whenever I brought it up with her she would immediately shut the conversation down. I figured I could do it slyly, without telling her and without telling anyone any kind of intricate details of our relationship. So I took matters into my own hands."

You sighed and pinched the bridge of your nose at this point, knowing it was here in the story where things got quite rocky. Mariona had finished applying the antiseptic at this point and was now getting the bandages ready, prepped with the medi-tape beside her to secure her wrapping. With each new fact you unveiled, she nodded along in understanding, completely on the same page with you. She didn't understand the actions of her friend as of yet, wondering why on earth she'd be so intensely secretive about her relationship to the point of not telling a single soul, but those were thoughts she wouldn't voice yet.

Mariona herself was in a private relationship, and she was happier than ever in it. However, it wasn't a secret. Sure, she wasn't posting photos of herself and Lia all over her social media, but if you looked close enough the facts were clearly there. Plus, pretty much everyone in her personal life and Lia's knew about the pair of them, and nobody was fussed. So why Alexia was acting in this way, she didn't have a single idea.

"I told my closest, most trusted friends that I was in a relationship, and that the name of the person I was with began with 'A'. That was genuinely all I gave. I warned them not to nag me with guesses of who it was as that would break my own personal rules, because after all I didn't want to go behind Alexia's back more than I already had. Then... Alexia went through my phone. She saw that my friends were making plans in the group chat back home, and then they wondered if I had plans with 'A' over the weekend."

"She went through your phone?" Mariona questioned, in disbelief at the invasion of privacy you'd experienced.

"Yes, she did. The text flashed up on my lock screen while I went to the bathroom, and then she just went on my phone and looked through my messages. I don't know how in depth she went, but..." You shrugged, averting your gaze to your aching hands, ultimately defeated by now; by Alexia and her stubbornness, by your own mind, and lastly by the fact you had been so suddenly caught out by one of your teammates.

It was at this point that the numbness dispelled and gave way for shame, embarrassment, and a bit of anxiety. After all, you didn't know anyone from the team in depth, you were still just getting to know them, and the first thing you had done when you arrived was dive head first into a relationship with their captain. There was an endless possibility to the vast amount of opinions each person could hold for you and how they felt about your relationship (even though there was almost no way at all they could know about it), and as the silent seconds ticked by, it started eating away at you.

Though, somehow, in some magical, god-given miraculous way, Mariona saw right through you. And from now on, you were to make it your life mission to give back to this messiah in the form of an attacking footballer from the Balearic Islands of Spain.

"Hey." She tapped on the counter in front of you to get your attention, achieving that when you look up at her. "You don't have to... to get defensive with me. I can bet what you're thinking, and you don't have to worry about all those thoughts. I am neutral here, helping a friend. I will not go and tell Alexia or anyone about this, not if you don't want me to. And trust me, I am on your side. I have never heard of her acting like this, I am shocked and slightly outraged too."

That was undeniably relieving to hear, for a number of reasons. But for the most part, you were glad to hear that because for the past few days your mind had been trying its damn hardest to manipulate you into thinking this whole commotion was your fault, that you were the fault-line in the relationship that had caused this rickety earthquake.

No, that was no longer a worry, because here was possibly the human example of sunshine saying she shared your view and was just as displeased as you when it came to the Catalan's behaviour. Now, knowing you had at least one person on your side, this obstacle felt a little easier to climb over.

"I do have one thing I'm wondering." After a curious hum from you, she explained. "Is there anything you would like me to do in this situation? Like, bring it up with Ale? Because for both of your sakes, I want this to be solved in the easiest way possible."

Was it a good idea, judging off of Alexia's already toxic reaction to the point where she refused to hear you out? Most likely, but, not only did you think Mariona could teach her a thing or two when it came to human interactions, there was a small (actually fairly large) part of you that wanted to fight back against Alexia's unfairness by showing her you simply were not one to be trampled on.

There were two people in this relationship, and in this moment you realised that rank, longevity, and status in a football team were measly things to worry about.

"I think that would be a good way to start. Having someone knock some sense into her." You answered, quietly delighted when Mariona laughed momentarily at your words.

"I will try to do exactly that, for you. Promise." For the millionth time that evening, you found yourself completely under the influence of that goddamn smile.

"You're very good at communication. Unnervingly good." The hearty laugh you got in response forced the first genuine smile out of you all evening.

"Well, when you have a very emotionally intelligent girlfriend, you have to keep up."

"If you could give Alexia some lessons, I would appreciate that a lot."

"I will talk to her. Don't worry."

You left Mariona's apartment not too long after, both hands wrapped precariously and feeling significantly better than you did during that gym incident, finding solace in the fact there was now a fairly solid plan of action.

The only thing you could do now, was wait.

That was harder said than done, because for the rest of that day you didn't hear from Mariona at all. Nor did you hear from her before training the day after, and for the first time since you arrived, you were wracked with nerves as you walked into the building.

Not once during the whole session did Alexia glance towards you. Not once did she even acknowledge your existence. It drove you crazy, her acting as if you were invisible. As if she couldn't get anymore fucking immature. It took a lot of self control to not act like a petulant child towards her, desperate to piss her off in a quarter of the way she had to you, but you were better than that.

So when she rocked up outside your apartment later that day, with freshly dyed blonde hair that was styled in a frustratingly attractive way, a bouquet of chrysanthemums in one hand and a takeaway bag in the other, it took all of your strength to not slam the door in her stupidly hot face.

"What are you doing here?" You asked flatly, followed by a sigh that clearly indicated she was the last person on earth you wanted to see right now.

Well, with that haircut, maybe not the last person...

"I have a lot of explaining to do, I know that. And a lot of grovelling too. I was hoping you didn't hate me that badly to let me in." Alexia smiled sadly down at you, a slight shrug to her shoulders when she speaks.

Your mind goes back and forth for a few moments, briefly running through pros and cons of letting her in, before you decide fuck it, worst comes to worst you can show off your new boxing skills.

Eyebrows raised, you walk away from the door back towards your sofa, leaving her to wonder what to do for a moment. Ultimately, she decides to slowly follow after you once she'd softly closed the door. A quick glance around your apartment tells her you hadn't eaten yet, and she takes that as a small win before heading towards where you were seated.

"I brought your favourite takeout. Would you like to me dish it up?" She asks, a little disheartened when you shake your head.

"If you came here to talk, we're gonna talk." You state firmly, waiting expectantly for her to come sit with you.

She should have expected this really, knowing how royally she'd screwed it up with you and how disgusting she had acted. But hearing you speak so sternly was a bit unnerving, even if Alexia did recognise she more than deserved it.

A second later, she nods and places her items down on your dining table before making her way over to you. Rightfully so, she leaves some space between you both when she sits down, and you have to stifle a laugh as to not ruin your façade with how on edge she looks.

"Uh, so, me first, or..." Staying silent, you raised a daring eyebrow at her, thoroughly enjoying putting her through this slight torture. "Sí, okay, me first."

Anxiously, she wipes her clammy palms on her thighs. Then she cleared her throat, glancing at you periodically before taking a deep breath and starting her explanation.

"I am well, well aware of how bad I have acted towards you. I want to make that clear first. I acted like an idiot, to the worst degree. I was selfish, rude, I invaded your privacy, and I completely fucked it all up."

Hm, not too bad of a start.

"Congratulations, you took responsibility!" You responded sarcastically, fighting the urge to give her a round of applause too. Then you're fighting off a bubble of laughter at the nervous chuckle she gives before speaking again.

"I will regret my actions until the day I die. I promise you, I will never behave like that ever again. I've never been more ashamed of myself in my life, and knowing it's you who I acted like that towards makes it a hundred times worth. Because, you..." She shakes her head and waves her hands in the air like she's speechless. "You're you. You're the most selfless person I know. Your heart is something I do not deserve to have, because of how pure and kind and beautiful it is. You are so caring, and you love with every fibre of your being. Not only that, but you're so open, and I really admire that, because that is something I'm not. I'm... I'm ashamed to admit that even now I'm still anxious, and being secretive is how I've lived all my life. I want to be more open and care-free, I really do, it's just... hard for me."

With each word, each compliment, and each reason she gives, your hardened exterior towards her is slowly getting chipped away. You're not a grudge holder, it's not in your nature. And no matter how much you tried to fight it, it was inexplicably hard to not get wrapped up in her.

"Mariona... Mariona said you didn't even tell your friends it was me you were with. She said you only told them my name began with A, and that was it."

Alexia trusted Mariona of course, that was something that naturally occurred having known her for so long, but she wanted to get confirmation from you.

"I did. They don't know it's you I'm with." You told her, and if it was somehow possible, Alexia's heart shattered just that bit more.

"Well, I'm sorry, amor. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions, it was really stupid and unfair of me. I really appreciate that you didn't break my trust, like I thought you had. I... that just shows how little I valued you. And I swear, that's something you'll never have to doubt again. I value you more than anyone in my life. I have a reason for why I was... more than reluctant to tell people about us. But I don't know if you want to hear it. I don't want you to think it's some flimsy excuse."

"Well, I mean, you may as well say it now." You scoffed, watching as she gulped nervously before nodding.

"My last relationship... with Jenni. That's why I'm so worried about telling people. Because even now, years after we ended our relationship that I would never ever want to go back to, people still talk about us, comment on our posts, make edits of us, and freak out about every little fucking interaction between us. It drives me crazy, even now, when I know I should not let it get under my skin, but it does and I can't stop it."

She shrugs dismissively as she talks, eyes cast down on her hands as she fidgets with the rings on her fingers. It's clearly a topic for her that's hard to discuss, and you want to reach out and take hold of one of her hands, but you don't want to distract her.

"When I was with Jenni, I was nowhere near as 'famous' as I am now. Now, I get the most vile and intrusive articles written about me, there are always cameras on me, paparazzi trying to figure out where I am at all times, and it really worries me because I don't want to involve you in that. If the media started writing things about you that were even just half as nasty as the things they've said about me, I would never be able to live with myself. It would eat me up, amor, I don't want you to go through that."

Okay, out of all the overthinking you've done in the last three days, your mind had not mustered up this point of view. This was undeniably sweet, a stark contrast to the way she'd treated you during the argument. You'd been with Alexia long enough to be more than familiar with how she acted on her anxieties in rather unhealthy ways for herself with harmful consequences for those around her as a result. Most likely, you realised, her recent behaviour was a demonstration of that very fact.

"And though those reasons shouldn't excuse my behaviour, because I should never have acted like that, I hope it gives you a tiny bit of insight into my head and allows you to recognise my actions came from a place of love, not malice. I showed it in completely the wrong way, but I swear to you from this moment on I will treat you better than I ever have, if you let me live up to that promise."

A shaky breath leaves the woman beside you, signifying the end of her ramble. And, to be honest, you'd forgiven her long before she finished speaking.

"Thank you for opening up to me. I forgive you, I do, but I won't forget how you treated me. If you ever show even a hint of that behaviour ever again, I'm out, Alexia, you must know that." You give her a clear warning, despite the fact your heart is crying out for you to just jump right back into her arms.

"I do know, I absolutely do know that." She seems to make the leap for you, as she shuffles along the sofa and gently takes ahold of both your hands. Your wounded hands. "Amor, what... what happened?"

Her voice is filled with concern, immediately overcome with nausea as a result of the worry she feels at the sight. However, that's nothing compared to the guilt she feels when you tell her what happened.

"Oh, um... an unfortunate run in with a punching bag not too long after our argument." You reveal sheepishly.

Alexia's heart drops. It drops from her chest, to the ground, through the core of the earth, and all the way down to China.

"This... this is because of me?" She whispers the question like she's terrified to utter the words. She's even more terrified of the answer.

"I guess. Yeah. I had to get my anger out some way, and I'm sure you're glad it wasn't your face." You try to joke, but it lands flatter than a pancake.

"Amor, I..." She can't find the right words within her to even attempt to apologise.

The great thing about mental health, was that 99% of the time you couldn't see it. That meant Alexia couldn't see the psychological damage she had caused you with her words.

But this, this was concrete evidence of just how much her treatment had affected you. She had done so much damage to your self-esteem, that you had no choice but to lash out to the point of injury. That, she feared, she would never get over.

"I guess Mariona failed to mention this part to you." Another pitiful attempt to lift the mood.

"She took care of you?" Alexia asked tentatively, the tiniest bit relieved when you nod.

In a split second, her arms were wound tightly around you as she tugged you into her lap. A rush of Catalan spilled from her, of which you gathered were words of apologies and sweet nothings to convey her intense regret. You didn't catch a word, not too familiar with the language despite playing for the pride of Catalunya, but you got the gist quite quickly and it didn't take you a moment longer before your arms were wrapped around her neck.

You were flooded with relief now that you were back in her hold, the embrace finally silencing the relentless voice in your head that had been going non-stop for days now. There were tears dripping onto your neck though, something that has you furrowing your brow and urging her to lift her head up.

"Ale, what's this for?" You asked, delicately wiping some of the tears that were overflowing.

"I just... I fucked it up so bad. So bad. Dios mío, you've ended up hurting yourself because of it. I'm just so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

Alexia falls apart then, breaking out into sobs that, though it's a rather a harsh thing to admit (not that you ever would, verbally) really exemplify her guilt and regret, and tie off her apology. You hate seeing her cry, hate seeing her so ruined, but all you can do now is hug her just as tight back and hope your words provide her some comfort.

"I forgive you, Ale, I do. My hands aren't your fault, it's a result of me not being sensible when letting my anger out. It's not your fault, mi corazón, not your fault at all."

You carry on spewing words of comfort for her until her cries finally subside a few minutes later. How she rubs at her eyes is something you find adorable, the way she does so reminding you of a young child. Your own hands follow her calloused ones, treating her with the same care she had complimented you on not so long ago. It warms her heart to no end, and it offers her a little reassurance of the fact you don't hate her guts.

"It's my fault a little bit." She mumbles, and there's a speckle of humour in it that you're not hesitant to jump on.

"Maybe a tiny bit." You whisper scandalously, smiling at the tearful laugh she lets out. "But I don't resent you for it. If I did, we wouldn't be in this position right now, okay?"

"Whatever you say, amor." Alexia nods, a semi-genuine smile on her face as she leans forward to rest her forehead on your shoulder.

"There's one thing I need from you for us to move past this." You state seriously a few quiet moments after.

She lifts her head up and nods vigorously, prepared to do just about anything you asked for if it meant she could love you for the rest of her life.

"I want to be able to tell people that are important to us. My family, my friends. Your family and friends. Our teammates. I'm not asking for us to go public on social media, I'm not asking for anything like that. I just want us to be more open. I want to be able to walk around Barcelona with you, like we did together when we started out dating. Because those moments with you, where you showed me your favourite restaurants and cafes and places special to you, they're some of my favourite memories with you. I just long for us to have a normal relationship, not one kept in the safety of our apartments behind closed doors. Because it's embarrassing and... and soul destroying being treated like I'm invisible. Just... treat me like a human fucking being in training, please? In public?"

It felt rather humiliating to be begging for such normal things, but that was the exact word you would use to describe this whole thing for you. Humiliating. To be treated like you had by, arguably, the sole person who shouldn't treat you like that, was something you never wished to experience again. Because, if you did? Well, there was simply no coming back.

But, you supposed, being in love was all about taking chances on people and relationships couldn't be built without a steady foundation of trust. That's all you could do now; trust in Alexia to nurture your heart like a delicate blossom where she cherishes every petal with gentle devotion.

"I will. Mi amor, I will do that and more. I will do anything you want me to, I promise that I will change my bad habits so that you never have to suffer at my hands again. I will love you like it's the last thing I'll do. You could never be invisible to me, you never were. From the first time I saw you, in your two-sizes-too-big Barça jumper on your first day, you've been everything but invisible to me."

Finally, the nail in the coffin to this whole ridiculous thing. And man, were you glad to see the back of it.

"As long as you don't embarrass me by one-upping me with your flawless free-kicks."

Despite the push to the shoulder you give her, you giggle and pull her back in for another hug. You'd been deprived of her embrace for far too long, and you planned to make up for it.

"I can't make any promises, unfortunately." You teased, grinning into the skin of her neck as her hands splayed out over your back, rubbing up and down comfortingly.

"I think I will take that." Alexia murmured, hugging you just that bit tighter before she leaned back. She moved her hands from your back to softly cradling your face, her eyes jumping from each feature to feature, trying to commit her favourite art piece in the world to her memory. Then, she met your gaze, and the sincerity and earnest present there was breathtaking. "We'll be okay?"

It was asked in such a vulnerable tone, you couldn't help but smile down at her.

"We'll be okay, Ale."

Going into training the next day, there was a spring in your step. Alexia had stayed over at yours the previous night, near enough refusing to leave. That meant she was wearing the same trousers as the day before along with one of your sweaters that, to your amusement, was evidently slightly too small for her as the cuffs ended just shy of her wrists. Call it your revenge perhaps, but as you both arrived at training together, chatting freely with content smiles on your face, it felt like a new leaf had been turned.

Alexia had made many mistakes with you, that she knew. She also knew she had no more chances, so she was going to try her absolute hardest to never act like such a fool again, even if it killed her. However, the shy smile on your face when she bounded up to you after Jona demanded the team to get into pairs for 1-on-1 practice, was enough proof for her to realise that it wouldn't be such a shame to go out of this world as a result of your love.

She almost came to regret that though when you handed her ass to her on a plate with each of your attempts to get past her. Because, quite frankly, you did embarrass her. Crossing her sides and body-checking her and out-skilling her each time was satisfying to no end, and it was exactly what you needed really. At one point, there was an ounce of worry that perhaps Alexia would be annoyed, but that dissipated immediately when she would laugh and slap her own forehead each time she was outshone.

That tiny speck of worry was completely forgotten about when, after the last attempt of the day, Alexia ran up behind you and lifted you up off the ground with her arms around your torso. Her mouth found its way to your ear as she took a few steps whilst carrying you, squeezing you tightly once.

"Never embarrass me like that again." She murmured jokingly, fighting back a grin as you laughed unabashedly in her hold. Afterwards, she put you down and moved to walk closely beside you, heading back to the main building as Jona called the end of training.

"You're the one that partnered up with me, Ale." You nudged her in the side with your elbow, gazing up at her with an adoring look that had Alexia's heart jumping in her chest.

"Maybe, but I only have one thing to say."

"What's that?" You hummed.

"Thank god for Mariona." She murmured, smiling as you giggled and nodded.

That smile was wiped off her face when an arm flung around her shoulders not a second later.

"Thank god for who?"

"I don't need your bragging right now, Mario, you're ruining a nice moment."

"I made this nice moment happen, Ale, you better thank me properly soon."

With that, the islander left just as quickly as she had arrived. When Alexia noticed the teasing grin on your face at the interaction, she shoved at your shoulder with a grumble under her breath.

"She really got through to you, then?"

"Oh yeah, absolutely. She beat my ass."

#alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #woso community #mariona caldentey #woso one shot #alexia putellas #woso imagine #alexia putellas one shot

[loumandiel]

Months of reading how Armand is the Big Bad man behind the curtain manipulating and mindcontrolling everyone with his godlike powers, and now suddenly in one day it switched to cruel Pimp Louis manipulating and enslaving Armand and Armand being his poor victim. I'm begging you to look at these characters and their relationships with some nuance. I'm not denying that Louis is trying to manipulate Armand in some moments (Jacob said it himself in the post-episode bit) but seeing that park scene as Louis intentionally evoking Armand's trauma and a pimp and slave assuming their old roles is in my opinion a stretch and i didn't read it that way. Tbh i also find it pretty offensive that some people are acting like when Louis was a pimp he was doing something similar to people who subjected Armand to literal sexual slavery because they're vastly different situations.

Arun isn't Armand's 'slave name' or 'prostitute name', it was his actual birth name before he was sold and abused, and he lost that name due to abuse. If Louis had actually wanted to push a master-slave dynamic he would've probably called Armand Amadeo, because that was the name Armand's abuser, who Armand served and in some way still loves, gave to him. When Louis was a pimp he notably also didn't actually act particularly domineering with sex workers, on the contrary he was usually friendly to them, because he felt guilty for exploiting women and tried to convince himself he was just helping and working with them and that they were equals. He made sex workers like Bricktop Williams minority owners of his business and they felt comfortable with criticizing him. If Louis had actually 'treated Armand like one of his prostitutes' in this episode he would've acted completely differently. Remember also that Armand has a remarkable mind gift and that Louis is bad at hiding his thoughts: if Louis had actually been trying to manipulate Armand in this specific way, Armand would very likely know it.

In the beginning of the episode Armand is frustrated that Louis doesn't acknowledge that they're companions, and Louis expresses that they don't really know each other. Later at the restaurant Armand gets angry and uses his powers dramatically which upsets Louis. He also talks to Louis rather harshly, saying that he and Santiago are acting like fledglings (children) and angrily tells Louis to come back when he leaves. Later Armand comes to apologize bringing flowers. All this reminds Louis of Lestat, and reveals how apprehensive he still is about Armand. Armand deciding to tell Louis his story is a conscious effort to show vulnerability and convince Louis of what he promised: that Armand isn't like Lestat and he isn't going to hurt him. Jacob said that dreamstat represents not only Lestat but Louis' doubts about Armand. In the museum scene this is particularly obvious when Louis feels deep sympathy for Armand, but at the same time dreamstat - a part of Louis - looks angry and distrustful. According to Jacob in the park scene as Louis lets go of Lestat he's also letting go of those doubts and accepting Armand as he is and for who he is.

So when Louis calls Armand by his birth name that could be considered his 'real' name even though no one has called him that for centuries, i see it as him saying 'Do we see each other now? Are we honest about things now? Can i trust that you are who you say you are?' When Armand calls Louis maitre he's trying to establish an impression of equality, because as they both know Armand is the maitre and the leader of the coven and the one with much more power. For Armand the ideal of love is the one of mutual worship and servitude. Like many things with Armand, his actions in this episode are both sincere and manipulative, and his seeming submissiveness is also certain kind of domination that helps him to get what he wants.

I just don't think their relationship is anything like Louis being a master and Armand being a slave at all. It's a very, very complicated and mercurial relationship that is not easily defined and where the dynamics are constantly shifting. As Jacob said, they're constantly flip-flopping between who's the dominant one and who's the submissive one, and who needs what out of the other. He also said that at the end of this episode their relationship takes on this almost BDSM kind of role playing where their roles switch, which implies that a) it's a play and not what their relationship is actually like and b) there was earlier a different dynamic where Armand was more dominant. Their Rashid role play in Dubai was also that, a role play.

When talking about those Louis' 'manipulative instincts' as Jacob called them, it needs to be considered they're something that Louis developed having to live in a racist society for all his life ("using his weakness to rise") and being in an abusive relationship for decades. For Louis that kind of soft power has often been the only power he has, and of course he's resorting to it when in a relationship with much older and much more powerful person he doesn't fully trust. The way i perceive Louis and Armand's relationship, it's a fragile, carefully crafted design built on contradictions, performances and illusions, where they both seek to maintain a fantasy where they both feel sufficiently in control and the relief of releasing that control at the same time

#i think others have said the same things much better than me but i've read like 800 times now #people adding tags on my posts about pimp louis being back etc. and i'm getting tired #iwtv #iwtvposting #interview with the vampire #vampterview #sa tw

[lovely-p-issues]

Fic idea - Astyanax in Ithaca

for times when my English will become acceptable because writing this in Polish feels not right sample of the story under the summary c:

Of course, I was thinking about Penelope's reaction to Odysseus showing up with a new kid (10/11 years old, give or take, Astyanax) at their doors.

I imagined it as the Game of Thrones scene when Ned Stark comes home and shows Catelyn a baby who, he claims, is his bastard. If I were her, I would lose my mind.

But I think that Odysseus explained himself chaotically, yet truly and Penelope didn't fight with the idea of raising the little prince as their own.

But Telemachus? Well, that's a hell of a different story.

He spent his childhood without his father, missing his presence and hoping to meet him one day. He lived in his shadow, as the problematic son of the absent king that everyone wanted to kill, or as a painful reminder to his mother that Odysseus wasn't around anymore and that she needed to be there for the two of them.

Now his dad is back but with a new child.

A new child who knows his father so well. Odysseus was his only parent for ten years (if we forget about 600 uncles, but they died after like 3 years? if I get it right?) and they just get themselves on an impossible level.

Odysseus knows Astyanax's nightmares (they share them).

Astyanax knows his father's past and doesn't need to ask many questions, and Telemachus does. He hates to do it because he sees Odysseus's pain, he sees Astyanax's reproachful look, like he is going to fight Telemachus if he doesn't leave their father, and-

and he sees the sad, concerned eyes of his mom.

So he doesn't ask much about those 20 years. And somehow it's even worse.

Because Telemachus doesn't know Odysseus. Because it feels weird and not home, like they are forced to be close, but they are not. Because he knew his father from songs, stories and legends, and this man is not who he heard of and he doesn't know how can he fix it.

Telemachus doesn't like to think about it but feels like he gives up on Odysseus. He spent the last 20 years of his life trying to reach that man and- Telemachus is tired.

Besides, Odysseus has another son anyway, right?

The prince of Troy, cursed boy, son of Hector, Astyanax, who also turned out to be a pain in the ass.

He knows that he can't blame the kid for his existence or even for the fact that Odysseus took him to their home.

For that Odysseus often takes Astyanax for horse rides to show him the island. The thing that Telemachus did alone.

For that, Odysseus teaches the boy how to use a sword and they laugh a lot during that. The thing that Telemachus did with strangers, got dozens of bruises, always trying to do everything he could to impress the person that wasn't there.

He doesn't blame Astyanax.

He just can't stand him.

But the boy seems to love the idea of going after him whenever Odysseus manages to pull him off for a moment. It's okay when Astyanax watches him during the trainings with eyes shining with excitement. However, it's bad when Astyanax starts to talk.

Father said I'm getting better at parrying-

When I was with father on Calypso's island-

Father does this completely differently-

Telemachus is a patient man. He waited for his father for 20 years. But sometimes he asks himself if Astyanax knows that all this talking about Odysseus, the man he missed but can't actually get to know, is such a trigger for him.

Maybe Astyanax teases him to show how much more of a son Odysseus is?

With every day Telemachus is more and more irritated. He does his best to hide it, but he can't ignore this fire burning him from the inside.

The reason for this fragile peace collapse is, relatively, very stupid.

Telemachus was tired after all day when he met Odysseus.

"The situation in the city is now calmed down,’ he informed his father, combing through his wind-tangled hair."

Odysseus nodded and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Telemachus. Well done."

Telemachus froze, not knowing what to say. He couldn't even move. Finally, he nodded, wincing slightly at the awkwardness of his every interaction with his father.

"Of course, father."

Odysseus seemed equally perplexed. However, the whole situation changed when Astyanax appeared in the courtyard where they stood.

Or, he ran into it, almost toppling over, just to get to Odysseus faster and embrace him around the waist.

"Dad, you will never believe what I found with mother in the garden!"

Telemachus watched with unhealthy interest as his father's face lit up with a smile as he listened to Astyanax's excited chatter.

A sudden anger, though senseless and petty, flared his veins. He had to avert his gaze and drive it into the ground so that no one could see his anger. His jaw was clenched tightly.

Twenty years of life based on a vague memory. An entire journey to find his father. His faith, his efforts and his devotion. All this to not be able to have one real conversation with his father. All this to watch both his parents melt down over his new, little brother. All this to stand by and watch his dreams fade away.

He no longer watched.

He walked away before he could do something stupid. Something that would distance him even further from his father.

He holed up in one of the cool and dark corridors of their palace. He concentrated on his breathing and massaged his temples.

He was an adult and knew how to deal with his feelings. Not that anyone had ever taught him that.

"Telemachus, what's wrong? You don't even know what we found in the garden, you went too fast!"

He didn't know shit about how to deal with his feelings.

"Could you, for five minutes, let me live as I lived before you came along? Five minutes without your constant footsteps and shouting behind my back. Five minutes of peace and quiet! That's all I'm asking for!"

But Astyanax took a few steps back as if frightened by Telemachus' sudden outburst. A grimace twisted his face and he squinted as if Telemachus was an extremely difficult puzzle for his quick mind.

"Why are you so angry? I don't understand."

"At this point? I'm not sure anymore. All I know is that I wasn't this angry even once before you dragged yourself home with father and decided to act as if it had all been yours forever."

Telemachus had to calm down. For bloody hell, he had just shouted at the eleven-year-old as if he was guilty of anything.

‘Are you angry about your father bringing me with him?’

Damn it.

It wasn't true. To be fair, he did not want Astyanax to die that night in Troy or be lost in the depths of the burning city.

Still, did he want him here? He let his thoughts wander before he could finally admit it to himself.

Astyanax, essentially, was not the problem. Everything else was. Telemachus was as well.

"No. There are many other things I'm angry about, but not this."

He sat down on the floor and leaned against the cool wall. He hid his face in his hands and let the anger leave him with his next breaths.

"Forgive my shouting. You got me at the wrong time, brother."

And he heard the boy slowly slide down the wall and sit down a few steps away from him.

"You should be grateful, you know?" suddenly said Astyanax. "He travelled all the world to see you and Mom."

You won't scream, Telemachus said to himself. He took a breath.

"Yeah, he didn't really know me, so. I don't know if that counts."

"That's even better. I mean, he loved you anyway. All this time, he was thinking about you"

This logic was wrong, but Telemachus doesn't find enough strength to fight over it.

They stayed silent for a few minutes.

"He didn't want me, you know? He just didn't want me dead and I reminded him of you. He was also scared of what I would become if he just left me alone. And you are so awful but he wanted you from the beginning and he loves you and he was so proud and-" Astyanax put his arms around his knees, his voice breaking as he spoke his next words: "You're a terrible idiot, you know. But he still wants you."

Telemachus needed a few seconds to see that every now and then, Astyanax would rub his wet eyes with his little fists.

He wasn't ready for this, even after months of training he wouldn't be ready. He stays silent for a moment. Slowly, he puts his arms over the crying mess and draws him to his side.

"And you think that father carried you all over the world because he doesn't like you?"

"Because he's kind and he would be ashamed to tell uncle Polites what he did."

"As far I know he wasn't so nice all this time, right? But he never turned his back on you. If you don't trust me, trust that. Odysseus came with you to Ithaca, because he wants you."

Astyanax did not reply but rested his head on his side. Telemachus let him.

Later that night, Telemachus carried a tired Astyanax straight to his parents' bedroom and knocked. When confused Odysseus finally opened it, Telemachus threw the sleepy child at him without hesitation.

"Hug your bloody kid."

And he walked away. This was his moment to avoid uncomfortable questions.

Let me know what do you think. And yes, Telemachus and Odysseus have a proper conversation about being father and son, but later.

BTW sorry for all the errors, I'm so sleepy right now I barely see my screen

#epic the musical #odysseus #the odyssey #greek mythology #epic the troy saga #telemachus #odysseus x penelope #odyssey #astyanax #daddy odysseus au #polites #greek mythology memes #fanfiction #fanfics

[ghoulishautism]

Not a lot of people talk about how 'ghost halfs' in the show are almost treated like they're entirely different people- or literal halves of the self

The first time Danny split was in Identity Crisis and he was split into "Fun Danny"- a laid back and irresponsible teenage boy, and "Super Danny"- a literal manifestation of his super hero duties

We didn't get to properly see his halves in TUE due to them fusing with Plasmius during the flashback sequence- but it didn't seem to be the same process as the Fenton Ghost Catcher- the gauntlets were more akin to literally ripping the soul out of its body rather than evenly splitting it-

Im saying there are LORE IMPLICATIONS as to how halfa's whole physical self works. I.C implies being a halfa is two sides of the same coin, but TUE also implies a ghost half is something that can be completely ripped apart with no noticeable changes-

Maybe Danny's halves were changed significantly by grief, so fun/super danny wouldnt exist anyway?

I just woke up with a headache so if I sound insane, I am

#danny phantom #rambles #this was gonna be about me speculating on vlad/plasmius but it kinda got away from me at the end

[copiouscouples]

Just an Off-Tangent Ramble

I really enjoyed season 2 especially in the first half. In my opinion, it’s better than season 1. What kept it from being a top-tier season for me was the absolute momentum killer of watching Edwina decide to crap or get off the pot. We didn’t need that. 

Then, there was also the lack of sexy times pay off. For some less thirsty than I, the garden scene hit the spot and to those people I say, congratulations for not being a thirsty hoe. But I needed all that passion and longing and pent-up frustration to culminate in a beautiful, passionate, romantic steamy scene. And it just didn’t happen.

My Theories as to Why Season 2 Had Sexy Times Slim Pickins:

The Powers That Be were trying to go a different direction and see if the audience would be ok with less sexy times. (We were not OK.)

The actors weren’t comfortable doing those type of scenes. That’s a valid reason. Just because you’re an actor doesn’t mean you should have to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

When it came to editing, the scenes didn’t look good and so were cut. I had heard that they’d filmed a lot of sexy time scenes that never made it into the show - if that’s true - not sure why. Nicola was talking about how they did the kissing scenes and what felt good didn’t always look the prettiest so maybe some of the Kanthony scenes didn’t meet the aesthetic.

When it comes to Jonathan Bailey, he is very boisterous and great at showing passion and humor. I was impressed with his physical humor in the falling in the water scene. That’s not an easy scene to do. He is the perfect pick for Anthony.

That said, he can only do roles like Anthony. I don’t think he could do a believable soft boy Colin like I don’t feel like Luke N could do an Anthony. They just bring different things to the table acting wise. And I’m glad for that diversity.

I feel like Luke has shown that you don’t have to yell to show passion and desire. You can communicate it in soft boy ways like looking longingly and following the girl you love around like a puppy dog and having a one-sided beef with another man.

And when Colin does yell, people pay attention. Eloise was so completely taken aback by his anger that she apologized like at two different points afterwards. I think that’s what is gonna make that one scene so 🔥 because he’s driven beyond his breaking point that he has to raise his voice.

Like we’re never going to get soft, earnest, endearing moments from Anthony. But we are for sure getting them from Colin. We got the “I want to tear your clothes off” (except they didn’t, BOO!) passion from Anthony and Kate. Now, we get the whole let’s be so besotted with each other that we go too far and then giggle afterwards. 

Kate and Anthony had angry, frustrated passion. Colin and Penelope have joyful passion.

The Colin and Penelope of it all just feels more real and authentic to how a lot of relationships are. I also kind of love the awkwardness of their new beginning.

And those steamy scenes! Season 3 has won hands down with just that carriage scene alone. It was so much better than anything we got in Season 2. I think a huge part of it is the willingness of the actors to be vulnerable and commit 100%. Nicola in particular especially.  Kissing and pretend humping is one thing, but boob touches/kisses. If I had a say, I would probably not let a fellow actor do those things. I’m glad she was OK with it because it made that scene HOT. 

And this is subjective, but they’re just pretty kissers. Their faces look good smooshed up next to each other. I really can’t explain why. (Please someone feel free to break down in a point by point explanation as to why their kisses look so good).

Season 2, realistically, could’ve been my favorite. I do love a brooding, angry caveman but something about the sweetness and earnestness of Polin. It’s winning me over as best season so far.

#then wait for a redaction when eloise and benedict's seasons come along lol #we'll see how loyal i'll be lol #polin #bridgerton #bridgerton season 2 #bridgerton season 3

[timeagainreviews]

Bursting Your Bubble

Liam Lynch once said- “The internet is a glimpse into how rude people will be in the future.” At the time it felt like just another funny little line from his song “Internet Killed the Video Star,” (not to be confused with the Limousines’ song of the same name) but nowadays it feels prophetic. Just this morning I made the mistake of reading the comments section and it’s thrown my day off considerably. From the comforts of our keyboards, we can write horrendous things. Treat strangers with contempt. It’s sometimes easy to forget there are actual people on the other end of our glowing screens. Insularity breeds contempt for the different. We live in our little bubbles.

It would be easy to blame the posters, the content creators, the influencers. A few bad apples spoil the bunch. But as psychologist Philip Zimbardo would say- don’t blame the apples, don’t blame the barrel, blame the barrel makers. The people who put the apples into the barrel in the first place. Despite everything Russell T Davies’ “Dot and Bubble,” is trying to say, one question hangs over it and the rest of this season- who is the barrel maker? Things in Finetime are anything but fine, but by whose design? One might assume it’s Susan Twist’s character, but who is she? This is the overarching question of season one, but is the question beginning to feel a bit drawn out?

From the outset, “Dot and Bubble,” acts as a sort of Black Mirror version of “Blink.” We’re given a young blonde woman who finds herself in a dangerous situation that requires her to look at something she would usually ignore. All the while, the Doctor and his companion are forced to talk to the young woman through a screen. The difference here is that while Sally Sparrow had gumption, Lindy Pepper-Bean is about as useful as a wicker toilet. She lives in “Finetime,” an actual bubbled world. Her “Dot,” device then creates yet another bubble around her head. It’s bubble inception. The bubble tells her when to wake up, how to walk, and even when to pee. (Shout out to my boy Dr Pee!) Because of this, Lindy lives an unobserved life where hard questions need not bother her.

Everything about Finetime is a hyper-realistic nightmare of overstimulation. It’s like “A Clockwork Orange,” meets “The Stepford Wives.” Lindy can ignore her problems when there’s always a new Ricky September video on the horizon. As Frank from Brad Neely’s “The Professor Brothers” said- “We danced like those people in the hyper-tight light of fried chicken commercials.” Lindy and her “friends,” can completely ignore the fact that their friends have slowly begun disappearing. They don’t even seem to notice when they’re the only ones in the room, how would they notice gigantic slugs eating each other?

With Ncuti Gatwa away filming season four of “Sex Education,” the show had to do a couple Doctor-lite episodes. These are usually hit-or-miss among fans, but as “Blink,” proved back in 2007, they can become fan favourites. The Doctor and Ruby’s roles are reduced, but this episode does a good job of making them feel like a recurring part of the story. Even though they spend the bulk of the episode in what looks like the intro to “The Brady Bunch,” it never feels like we’re being underserved.

Lindy’s friends float around her like talking heads in her holographic bubble. But she keeps getting interrupted by the Doctor and his bad vibes. Even though Ruby is also invading her privacy despite not being on her friend list, Lindy is willing to hear her out. We’re not told why up front, but there is a reason Lindy can believe Ruby might feasibly be tech support, but the Doctor could not. Due to Lindy’s impatience, Ruby is forced to talk to Lindy as if she were a child, but not so much that she catches on. Anyone who stops Lindy from either working or playing is a massive drag to her. She really just wants Ruby and the Doctor to go away. How do they not know how society works? Why are they asking such stupid questions when the answers have been drilled into everyone since they were children?

We learn that Lindy’s mother is Penny Pepper-Bean, but she’s actually another Susan Twist cameo, so she could be anyone. Thankfully, both the Doctor and Ruby recognise her this time, and it’s not in an aborted timeline. I saw someone mention on Facebook today that they felt the Doctor recognising her felt rushed, and I couldn’t disagree more. It was high time we got something from this storyline. While it has been nice to genuinely be curious about Doctor Who’s mysteries again, this one has felt like a lot of the same. With the Doctor and Ruby now clued in, we have somewhere else to go in the future. Maybe now Susan Twist will come out from behind the mask and we can learn something more about her. Maybe now the Doctor will start looking into her involvement.

I’m usually not interested in fan theories as they’re often filler content when YouTubers and bloggers don’t have anything else to talk about. But here I believe we’ve been given quite a lot to work with to formulate a theory or two. I know I said “It’s probably not the Rani because it’s never the Rani,” but at this point, if she’s not the Rani, they’ve wasted their biggest opportunity to reintroduce audiences to her that the show has ever had. At this point, it would be weird if she wasn’t the Rani. The things she’s been involved with have all of her usual hallmarks. We have genetic manipulation in “Space Babies,” humans are being treated like lab rats in “Dot and Bubble,” and then there’s the whole disguising yourself in plain sight aspect. At this point, the bigger question isn’t whether or not she’s the Rani. The bigger question is why wouldn’t she be? Why would the show come so close to revealing her and then pull back?

Ruby finally convinces Lindy to look beyond her bubble where she witnesses her co-worker being eaten by one of the Man-Traps. Usually Lindy could just ask her Dot to guide her to safety, but for some reason, it feels more than ready to direct her right into the open mouth of a Man-Trap. Lindy must walk without the aid of her Dot, and man does she suck at it. She quite literally cannot walk talk and chew bubblegum at the same time. Part of me was worried the episode was going to spend all of its time making fun of young people and their phones. It’s cliched and honestly, I’m tired of it. But within the context of the episode, Davies isn’t attempting a technophobic condescension toward the youth of today. Instead, the episode endeavours to highlight the danger of relinquishing your thoughts and actions to outside entities. If we let others tell us what to like, who to like, or how to live, you may as well become worm food.

Having narrowly escaped death by slug, Lindy is forced to bumble about outside while the Doctor and Ruby direct her like the most exasperated form of Google Maps ever. An interesting aspect of this scene that I’ve not heard anyone talk about is the greenish-blue blood seen from a body being dragged away. You may not know what I’m talking about, but I’ll post a picture below. You may look at that and say “That’s not blood, that’s slug goo.” But where else in the episode do we actually see the Man-Traps leave behind any kind of snail trail? I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think the people of Finetime are blue-blooded, and considering what we learn about them, it makes sense. Blue blood is often a symbol for aristocracy, but it can also be used as a way to imply an inbred nature. In this case, we could infer that the citizens have blue blood because they don’t “dilute,” it with the blood of non-white people. Oh did I not mention the Finetimers are racists? More on that in a bit.

Throughout most of this episode, only one of Lindy’s friends seems to be concerned with the fact that people are going missing, and that’s Gothic Paul. Gothic Paul was a nice little addition to the episode because a trans man plays him and they didn’t make a big deal about it. He wasn’t even killed for being trans. He was killed for being delicious and too dumb to notice. A diversity win! Compare this to Chibnall’s gay representation where a character says “By the way, I’m gay,” and then spiders eat her face. LGBTQ+ people are allowed to exist in such a manner that it doesn’t feel like “kill your gays,” when they kill our gays. Representation has been so good that it’s not even problematic that a drag queen made a child disappear. You know, the thing all of those conservatives are worried about with drag story hour? That’s just the Maestro’s schtick. 

After the battery in Lindy’s Dot goes dead, she’s basically a sitting duck. That is until she hears a familiar voice call out. A voice belonging to none other than the dreamy Ricky September. Maybe it’s the insular nature of being a pop star, but Ricky isn’t bogged down by his Dot. Instead, he’s learned to appreciate existing offline. Because of this, Ricky reads things about their people’s history. And even luckier for Lindy, Ricky can actually walk and move about in the world. After a bit of starstruck awe, Lindy takes his hand as he leads her away from danger. It’s almost sweet if you don’t suspect what’s coming.

Ricky leads Lindy to Plaza 55 where a door leading to the river flowing beneath the bubble can lead them out into the Wild Woods. Knowing a bit about coding, Ricky simply needs to type in two digits every five seconds and the door will come open eventually. With no Man-Traps about, Lindy needs only to sit tight and let Ricky work his magic. While she waits, Lindy is able to charge her Dot which enables the Doctor and Ruby to contact her again. The Doctor infers that the Dots can see the Man-Traps, but willfully encourage people to walk directly into their mouths. As it turns out, the Dot hates Lindy and her friends about as much as the audience does. The AI has gone rogue and it’s taking these airheads with it. Sadly, this is also when the episode starts to get bogged down by the season's overarching plot.

The Doctor deduces that the Man-Traps are eating the people in alphabetical order. This leads him to believe that the AI must have created the Man-Traps, otherwise they would eat whoever, whenever. The reason I feel this feels bogged down by the overarching plot is that I can’t imagine these golfball-sized Dots being capable of growing creatures in a laboratory. The most they can do against Ricky and Lindy is act as a projectile. They don’t even have thumbs. Because of this, it’s logical to imagine that there is a third party involved. It’s not hard to imagine who that third party is, considering Susan Twist’s cameo. But in the meantime, we as an audience are left in a state of limbo where this is either part of some greater plan, or an unsatisfying plothole. Albeit, not an incredibly episode-breaking one. After all, the Daleks manage quite a bit with only a plunger.

With Lindy’s Dot trying to bash their brains in and Lindy being next in line, alphabetically speaking, we are finally introduced to who Lindy actually is as person. Using her mega fan knowledge about Ricky September, she informs the Dot that Ricky’s name is a stage name and his real name is Coombes. Ricky can barely believe the betrayal from the woman he’s tried so very hard to save. But her gamble pays off as the Dot refocuses its attention on Ricky, giving Lindy enough time to escape to the river while the Dot strikes down poor Ricky. As face turns go, this is one of the worst in Doctor Who history. However, it’s not entirely without warning. Certain lines of dialogue have clued us in to Lindy’s true nature throughout the episode.

Before we leave him behind like Lindy so callously does, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Ricky September, as I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him. It was hard to tell what the Dot does to Ricky because the camera looks away, but he could have survived. Why I think this is because they spend a lot of time building Ricky up as a character. Both the Doctor and Ruby have shown a romantic interest in him. There have even been rumours that there would be a sort of love triangle between the Doctor, Ruby, and Ruby’s boyfriend. On top of that, we’ve got another blonde-haired blue-eyed person with RS for initials. Even further, the S in both names indicates a point in time- September and Sunday. And just because Ricky comes from a community of racists doesn’t mean he is one. Like he said, he does a lot of reading. Perhaps he’s learned better. Or I’m wrong and he has a Dot-sized hole in his head.

Finally, we get to see the Doctor and Ruby in the flesh. Even more finally, we get to see them both in the costumes they wore in their first costume reveal! Lindy gives the Doctor and Ruby some shitty excuse about Ricky turning back to save more people. She even gives a begrudging thank you to them, but ultimately can’t bring herself to let the Doctor help her or her friends. Lindy and her fellow survivors can’t bring themselves to interact with the Doctor because he’s black. It’s as heartbreaking for the Doctor as it is infuriating to Ruby who can only stand there and watch her friend experience this ugliness. But the Doctor is still the Doctor and he’s a bigger man than their small minds. He continues holding out a lifeline to some of the most undeserving group of spoiled narcissists to ever grace the screen of Doctor Who.

I’ve seen people complain that the Doctor does this. That it doesn’t mesh with the same character who once punched a man who was racist toward Bill. But that was the Doctor drawing a line and defending his friend’s honour. The Doctor’s compassion is so great that he’s willing to forego his sense of self-respect to save lives. This is the same man who tries to reason with racist genocidal aliens, he doesn’t stop just because they look human. I know I would have let them die, but the Doctor is a better person than me. That’s not to say any of this is easy for him. It very clearly cuts him to his core. Ncuti Gatwa gives an earth-shattering performance here, and when you consider this is the first scene he filmed after the Giggle, it’s fucking astounding. This is the exact type of range I was hoping they would bring to his character.

As a white member of the audience, I am left with a lot of uncomfortable realisations. Like, I barely batted an eye at the fact that Lindy’s friends were all white. I’m also left wondering how many people the Doctor has saved in the past who might have also treated a black Doctor differently. But I also feel like this ending took me by surprise for a different reason than my own ignorance. I simply never expected Doctor Who to go there. The topic of racism is not new to Doctor Who. Martha experiences quite a bit of it, especially in “Human Nature.” But even their more recent attempt with “Rosa,” fell short by implying that in 3000 years, no other black person would stand up for their rights. It was an oversimplification of the civil rights movement that left me wondering if Doctor Who was capable of tackling such heavy issues. I never felt like the show properly addressed the Doctor being a woman, so believe me when I say how much I appreciate them addressing the Doctor’s race. Even further, I loved that it ultimately isn’t the Doctor who will suffer from their racism. Their prejudice has doomed them without anyone else’s help.

It’s weird to look at this episode on the TARDIS wiki and see the Dots and Man-Traps listed as the main enemy. Because really, it’s Lindy who is the real monster. It’s Hoochy Pie and her wack-ass trumpet. Also, can we not come up with a better name than Man-Trap? What about Erascists? They erase e-racists. Just some good little sluggy bois taking out the trash. I stan a king. The Dots hate those evil trust fund dickweeds, and honestly, same. Evidently, the name Man-Trap was introduced in Doctor Who Unleashed, which for the 4th week in a row, I’ve forgotten to watch. One of the side-effects of Doctor Who’s screwy release schedule is that now I completely forget Doctor Who Unleashed even exists. One benefit, however, is that I often get to rewatch the episodes the next day with my partners who didn’t want to stay up late. The benefit is that I’ll notice things I missed the first time. It also allows me to experience the stories for what they are, as opposed to what I expected them to be.

Being able to watch “Dot and Bubble,” with hindsight has given me an even greater appreciation for this story. Over time, I feel people will eventually regard it as one of Davies’ best. Its tone and themes remind me of something you would find in the Seventh Doctor era, which is high praise coming from me. Ricky feels like the promise of a character like Pex from “Paradise Towers,” properly realised. Hopefully, like the graffiti says- “Pex lives.” Dylan Holmes Williams does a fabulous job directing as the episode wastes nothing. It’s a Doctor-lite episode that manages not to waste a moment of screen time with the Doctor. In less than five minutes, Gatwa manages to be the command performance in an episode of solid performances. But much like “The Fugitive of the Judoon,” this strong episode remains feeling unresolved due to the plotline still hanging over its head. Once we have the hindsight of knowing how it fits into the greater storyline, it could appreciate in value. One can only hope.

#doctor who #Dot and Bubble #Ncuti Gatwa #Fifteenth Doctor #Millie Gibson #Ruby Sunday #Susan Twist #Callie Cooke #Lindy Pepper-Bean #Tom Rhys Harries #Ricky September #Man-Traps #Finetime #TARDIS #Dylan Holmes Williams #Russell T Davies #Gothic Paul #timeagainreviews

[bltngames]

A Better Late Than Never Look at "Knuckles"

Note: I get pretty casual with spoilers as I go.

So after consuming 5 out of 6 episodes of the Knuckles show when it was new, and then waiting two weeks (I was busy with other things!) to watch the finale, I think I'm finally in a place where I can talk about how I felt about it.

From the earliest adopters, I'd heard that this show was trash. Some went so far as to call it one of the worst things in the Sonic franchise, period. 

It's not the worst thing in the Sonic franchise. I don't even necessarily think it's bad. But I would also struggle to call it good. It's... a little more nuanced than that.

The story brings us back to Knuckles the Echidna in the weeks following the end of the second Sonic the Hedgehog movie. Having helped in the defeat of Doctor Robotnik, Knuckles finds himself restless. He's a big mish-mash of different barbarian, viking, and warrior stereotypes, and he can no longer quench his thirst for combat, something that's starting to drive his friends crazy.

Knuckles convenes with the spirits of his ancestors (Pachacamac, played by Christopher Lloyd) and learns he must take on an understudy and train them in the ways of the warrior, much like his father did with him. However, we also learn that Knuckles is now the last of his kind (something the movies never elaborated on, I don't think) and thus his understudy has to be someone from outside his species. 

Pachacamac tells Knuckles to seek out Wade Whipple, the dopey deputy of Green Hills, Montana, and educate him in the ways of the ancient Echidna warriors. Wade recently lost a bowling tournament to a particularly snarky 8 year old girl scout, and so Knuckles and Wade go on a road trip to the National Bowling Stadium in Reno, Nevada so that Wade can reclaim his title, conquer his battleground, and become a true warrior.

Right away, there's a lot wrong with the Knuckles series, and most of it happens in the first three episodes.

Though we should be used to it by now, how fast and loose the movies play with Sonic game lore is pretty annoying. In the years since that second Sonic movie, we've seen the release of the Super Mario Bros. movie, and while that's not exactly a perfect movie in itself, it is maybe one of the most faithful and respectful game adaptations ever released. 

The Knuckles series building a twisted Frankenstein of Sonic game lore now feels increasingly frustrating by comparison, especially as it rewrites the movie's own history in order to borrow from the more story-heavy games. The first Sonic movie shows us a whole tribe of Echidna warriors trying to capture a young toddler Sonic for unknown reasons. Though it's been almost two years since the last time I saw it, when Knuckles is introduced in the second movie, I don't think it's ever mentioned he's the last of his kind. We just know he's looking for Sonic for the same nebulous reasons the rest of his tribe were hunting him down in the first movie. The "Last Echidna" stuff comes from the games, and now it eventually gets mentioned in this series.

As a sidebar: I'm aware there's an off-hand piece of dialog in the Sonic 2 Movie Prequel comic that mentions Knuckles is the last Echidna, but that's a flimsy promo comic and none of it feels canon to me. That comic also has a cameo by the Chaotix and features way more Sonic environments than the movies ever will, making it feel disconnected to the actual movies.

Like it's fun, don't get me wrong, but it's also like when the Spider-man games based on the Sam Raimi movies would bring in characters from the comics, like Shocker or Mysterio. You KNEW if the movies ever dealt with those characters for real, they'd be completely different from what was in the games. The promo comic casually mentioning Knuckles is the last Echidna may as well have been nothing more than fluff for all anyone knew. 

In fact, it gets mentioned in the Knuckles series that The Owl Tribe -- the same creatures who we saw protecting Sonic in the first movie -- have apparently exterminated the entire Echidna race. It's only been, what, seven years? Eight years? So what's going on there? Who are the good guys? Who are the bad guys?  The Echidnas apparently wanted to kill Sonic, and the Owls were willing to commit genocide to protect him, and this all seems like some pretty heavy stuff for a series that still refuses to define what this "power" everybody has actually is.

It feels extra obnoxious considering the proximity to the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog 3 movie, which is openly an adaptation of Sonic Adventure 2. There's more than a little Echidna lore that needs to be set up in order for parts of that game to make sense (if it ever did), and it's obvious they have little interest in carrying that forward in the movies, content instead to make up their own lore. And what we've seen of that so far doesn't necessarily seem to be better, it just seems to be different. Like they dug themselves into a hole and now have to dig back out in a different direction -- more damage control to cover for that first movie twisting up the source material.

Ultimately it ties back around to the fact that I don't think this is what Sonic fans were hoping for. There were a lot of directions to take a Knuckles solo project, and they made it into a road trip buddy comedy between two of the weakest characters. Movie Knuckles is a one-note Klingon stereotype and it feels like Idris Elba is sleepwalking through a lot of this chest thumping "heart of the warrior" stuff.

And Adam Pally as Wade Whipple was okay in small doses, but he wasn't exactly breaking new ground as the bumbling small town deputy. Putting these two guys in a box together is kind of a bad idea.

And for the first three episodes, it is. Wade and Knuckles have absolutely zero chemistry together. Most shows would have a little hint that these two guys like each other, but it's more that Knuckles wants to train Wade for selfish reasons (satisfying his ancestors) and Wade is kind of a dumb puppy who does what everyone else tells him to, sight unseen. 

We also get new B-tier villains for our B-tier show, who swagger in like they missed the audition for their gig on Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (no shade meant towards my sentai fans in the audience). They're GUN Agents, either current or former, and have apparently been selling weapons tech to a genuinely dangerous killer only known as "The Buyer."

Actually, another small sidebar: it was kind of strange to see Knuckles rated "PG" (for some mild swearing), but Paramount+ constantly inundate me with advertisements for Dora the Explorer, Minecraft, and The Loud House. This is actually my first, real, honest exposure to The Loud House, both in its cartoon and live action form. It feels like a show made for the whitest children on earth and if I have to see that little girl with the shrimp bowl fart again I'm going to throw my TV into the street.

Anyway, Knuckles: for the most part, the villains only really exist to remind us that this ties to the Sonic the Hedgehog movie universe while also providing goons for our heroes to fight. 

If I'm being real, I was actually a little confused by the presence of the GUN Agents. The Knuckles show is kind of bad at establishing whether they still work for GUN or not. We do get a scene where they go rogue, but it's never clear if they're just overachievers who get results, or if they are actual card-carrying bad guys who are breaking off for a solo career. I just figured they were here as a flimsy setup for the third Sonic movie.

Mostly, though, it's a lot of fluff. Knuckles or Wade gets into trouble, and they accidentally stumble out of one bad situation into another, over and over, for a good 90 minutes. Very few jokes land, it doesn't feel very funny, it's a confusing mixture of new lore and stuff borrowed from the games, and it feels like the show is a mess that's constantly spinning its wheels. 

Wade, now branded as a fugitive for being seen fighting GUN Agents (again: current or former?), accidentally and conveniently finds himself at his mother's doorstep seeking asylum. On the jewish holiday of Shabbat. Now, I'm not jewish, but it seems like Shabbat can happen on literally any Friday, yet the Knuckles series treats it like an annual holiday like Christmas or Halloween. Regardless, it seems like Wade happens to catch his mother on a Shabbat where she's already preparing a big meal, since Wade's older sister, an FBI agent, also happens to be in town. Which is also weirdly convenient. Wade, feeling like he can't disappoint his mom, sits down and they have a meal together, only to be assaulted by bounty hunters looking to claim the price on Wade's head.

This episode starts a kind of turning point for the Knuckles series. Over an hour into this three hour ordeal, and it finally provides some threads of character development for Wade Whipple. We learn his estranged father is a legendary bowling champion, who will also just so happen to be at the big bowling tournament Knuckles is ushering him towards. Knuckles has a cozy moment with Wade's mother, and we learn more about how much she hates Wade's father for breaking up their family.

The fourth episode finds Wade facing down yet another bounty hunter. Earlier I mentioned Wade lost a bowling tournament to an 8 year old girl -- specifically, he lost a placement match for a bowling team known as The Renegades. The captain of The Renegades is a man known as Jack Sinclair, and when he rejects Wade's entry into the team, he casually mentions a bounty hunter gig he runs on the side. Now, Jack's back to claim the $100k bounty, and Knuckles has decided that it's time for Wade to solve this problem on his own.

Ultimately, this means Wade is forced to convene with Knuckles' ancient ancestors for himself, leading to, of all things, a rock opera in a spectral bowling alley where we learn more of Knuckles' origin. If the Shabbat dinner episode finally budged the needle a little bit, this rock opera episode is the kick in the pants this series should have opened with.

We get Wade in a Knuckles costume, a puppet of Knuckles' dying father that's definitely a reference to Archie's controversial Sonic writer Ken Penders, dancers in owl costumes, and a genuinely impressive prop of a "Fire Demon" (Iblis from Sonic 2006) operated by an entire squad of bodysuit actors. It's a lot of fun and I even found myself starting to laugh at the jokes! It only took, what, two hours?

As the rock opera explains, after Knuckles watched all of his friends and family get slaughtered by the owl tribe, Knuckles wandered the galaxy, hopeless. Knowing he was the only one who could protect the master emerald, he challenged this fire demon to claim the power of The Flames of Disaster. The demon nearly killed Knuckles, but by keeping the warrior's spirit in his heart, he summoned the strength to defeat Iblis once and for all and claim The Flames of Disaster as his own. Thus, Wade learns that a warrior's true strength comes from within, giving him the push needed to have a final showdown with Jack Sinclair. 

And then something else weird happens: the final two episodes of the show turn into something completely different. 

In my opinion, the more the Knuckles show gets away from Knuckles himself, the better it gets. Even though I thought the rock opera origin story was great, the less we have to worry about their jumbled up lore, the better. And these last two episodes of Knuckles get about as far away from the Echidna as they can get, turning into a late 2000's sports comedy in the vein of something like "Balls of Fury", "Hot Rod" or "Blades of Glory." Except here, the stand-in sport of choice is bowling.  

It's actually pretty funny how much the previous four episodes just stop mattering entirely. Like, the bounty on Wade vanishes. Being a wanted criminal (former or current) has no bearing on his ability to attend the bowling tournament despite apparently being national news not even 48 hours earlier. It's never mentioned or brought up again. 

Knuckles almost exits the show entirely. He spends most of the final two episodes relaxing in a hotel room, leaving Wade to carry almost literally everything else by himself. We get introduced to Cary Elwes as Wade's father Pistol Pete, who summons the same level of ham and cheese we last got from him in Robin Hood: Men in Tights. 

And... It works. It's not the greatest thing on earth, but compared to where this show started, once the bowling tournament kicks off, it's literally the best part of the whole series. The jokes get even funnier. We get all these different themed bowling teams, everybody in special costumes, with dumb names like "Ball Busters" and "Split for Brains." The editing gets really energetic and creative, too, with lots of flashy split screen cuts set to music. 

It feels like somebody had been sitting on a decade-old bowling comedy script and dusted it off for these last two episodes. It stops being the Knuckles show and starts being the Wade Whipple show, and is surprisingly better for it. 

But then, that's not entirely true. It's still the Knuckles show, and almost begrudgingly, they have to make up a reason for Knuckles to have a big fight at the end. It's almost funny how blatant it is -- there's so much focus on Wade's showdown with his Dad that when they cut back to Knuckles it feels kind of forced. Like they realized Wade is getting all of the pathos and character development but they still needed to show Knuckles doing something, anything, so here's a big robot that needs punching. 

It's not terrible, and Wade eventually joins him, tying into his overall journey of believing in himself and becoming "a warrior", but it does feel kind of tacked on regardless. There's this general vibe of the show getting lost in the bowling tournament and then going "Oh, right. That guy."

Listen, I'm not here to evangelize this show. It's kind of an inconsistent mess. It's jammed full of obnoxious needle drop musical interludes, there's tons of REALLY blatant product placement, and just like with the previous two Sonic movies, whenever it makes direct references to game lore, it feels more pandering (and increasingly sloppy) than anything else. It takes its sweet time expanding on both its title character and his poorly chosen side kick. A lot of it made me cringe more than laugh. 

But it does eventually hit a stride and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the back half of it. You can really see the show start to find its footing once you hit that Shabbat episode, and by the end of the rock opera, Knuckles had finally won me over... by getting further and further away from Knuckles himself. 

And... that's not really a great endorsement, now is it. 

#writing #paramount+ #knuckles series #knuckles show #knuckles the echidna #review #thoughts #idris elba #sonic the hedgehog #sega #sonic team

[thechosenthree]

Thanks to this post I am in my Kendra Young is such a freak <3 feels. Thank you @finalgirl1984 <3

[This went in a completely different direction that I expected, I do love to ramble.]

We talk so much about how by the book Kendra is and how she never got to be a kid or be a teenage girl. She was The Slayer before she was anyone else and before she was ever even actually called as the slayer.

We definitely don’t talk enough about how maybe compared to Buffy, Kendra was a stickler for the rules, but she definitely wasn’t completely by the book!

I saw a comment once about how leaving a vampire locked up to wait for the sun to burn him to ash is definitely not in the slayer handbook. And that’s so true!! She was enjoying it, she was laughing at his attempts at threatening her!! Literally not scared of him for a second. #1 Angel hater who also thinks he’s a loser. And she could have just staked him, she should have staked him, she was the vampire slayer and that is literally her job. But she played with him like a cat hunting a mouse instead and I love her for that.

Like I generally tend to think that Buffy was to Kendra what Faith was to Buffy, but that’s not entirely true?

Both Kendra and Faith were completely accepting of their slayer sides, proud of being slayers and able to enjoy the hunt and the kill in a way that Buffy really struggled with.

I think Kendra and Faith are a lot more alike than I’ve given them credit for? They both try to kill Angel when they first meet him, they are both confused why Buffy wants to protect him and not just stake him. That goes against what they have been taught.

We obviously don’t know much about Faith’s slaying life before coming to Sunnydale, what her watcher was like, or what her training was like. But it’s possible it was a lot more by the book than Buffy’s. Faith watched her watcher be killed in front of her and then shows up in Sunnydale with serious issues with authority.

But the way she is with Gwendolyn Post paints a picture of the way she may have taken to her first watcher. She wanted someone to look out for her and give her guidance. So if she had a watcher she liked and respected, her doing what she was told and being by the book seems likely. She did what Gwendolyn told her to do over listening to Buffy, so we even have evidence in the show for that.

Faith’s training may have been a lot more like Kendra’s than Buffy’s. Of course she didn’t have that watcher training her for very long, just the summer. So she wouldn’t have learned near as much as Kendra, who spent her whole life training for this did.

And whereas Kendra never had a life apart from slaying, Faith didn’t have one worth missing once she was called. There was nothing holding Faith back from full on accepting her destiny and giving her all to it, unlike Buffy.

Buffy had a life before slaying. She got to be a kid, she got to be a girl. She got to live her life without worrying about much. She got to just be. And being the slayer did not mesh with that, her fighting to make both sides of herself fit is a huge part of the show.

Faith is very heavily implied to have been abused by her mother, and who knows what else she went through. She didn’t get to just be a kid, she was dealing with stuff no child should ever have to go through. Being called as a slayer gave her the physical power to fight back. And she embraced that with open arms and did not look back.

The circumstances that preceded Kendra and Faith being called as slayers is obviously very different. But it’s also similar is some ways I hadn’t previously thought about.

Kendra was forged as a weapon, her life was lived in training to be the slayer. Faith was living a life she couldn’t escape from, couldn’t fight back against.

Kendra being called brought everything she’d been taught, everything she’d worked towards into focus. That is what she had always been told she was meant to do. It was her purpose.

Faith being called gave her an out from her old life, gave her the strength and the power to defend herself and fight back. We know she’s never had anyone looking out for her, that she had to take care of herself. In a way, being the slayer gave her a purpose she didn’t know she was looking for.

Neither Kendra or Faith got to just be a kid. They didn’t necessarily know what they were missing when they embraced being a slayer. Kendra literally did not know anything else. And the life Faith knew was definitely nothing worth holding on to.

I think this makes their attitudes towards being slayers compared to Buffy’s make so much sense.

And if we go with the slayerhood as a metaphor for queerness…

Buffy was just living her life and was blindsided figuring something out about herself that she hadn’t been looking for. She didn’t want to be that person, it made her life more difficult. She wanted to go back to a time before she knew this about herself. She was so focused on how much she didn’t want to be the slayer [read: queer] that it took her a long time to acknowledge that she enjoyed it. That it was a part of who she is. And that she liked that about herself. It took her a long time to be proud to call herself the slayer.

We also see that Buffy’s parents were not immediately accepting, and before she actually “came out” they talked to and about her like she was a different person now and like they just wanted her to be who she used to be. And then of course Joyce literally kicks her out of the house when she can’t accept who Buffy is and Buffy refuses to go “back in the closet” to please her. Buffy having internalized slayerphobia makes a lot of sense.

Kendra always knew who she was. She was raised by someone who knew who she was, and who wanted her to be that person. She is proud of who she is, of being a freak. She is so happy to connect with Buffy and not be alone being a freak.

But also looking at how the council is scared of the slayers, and wants to be in control of them, it’s a conditional sort of acceptance. Kendra can be herself as long as she’s useful to the council. Also looking at it this way, her parents knowing who she is and sending her away because of it is an interesting thing to think about.

Faith did not always know who she was. But she likely knew she was different or at least felt like she was. Having an abusive parent will make that clear to you. On top of that the things she implies about her high school experience make it clear she did not have friends or fit in. She was a loner, an outcast, a freak.

Then she found out who she was and everything made sense to her. Faith embraced being a slayer [read: queer] and she was proud of who she is. She enjoyed it, she liked it. And she met Buffy and loved that someone else was a freak with her.

Kendra and Faith genuinely enjoying being slayers and being proud to call themselves freaks in juxtaposition to Buffy who definitely loved not being alone, and finding kindred spirits in the two of them but was also having a hard time liking that part of herself is so interesting.

Makes me wish we’d gotten to see Kendra and Faith meet even more. I used to think they would clash and take a long time to warm up to each other. But now I’m wondering if they wouldn’t be off tying up vamps and enjoying the kill together.

#this was supposed to be a fun post about kendra and faith matching each other’s freak #wish i could be concise to save my life #this is a monster of a post #i think i repeated myself a fair number of times but i don’t have the energy to edit this welp #long post #kendra young #faith lehane #buffy summers #the chosen three #leyoung #kendra x faith #faith x kendra #btvs #btvs meta #mine

[mytalemyworld]

This episode felt more like an old-school episode of Yabani than the last episodes of the season have thus far but I am still angry at some writing choices. For example I refuse to talk about the su*cide matter, because it was the worst thing Yabani writers have ever written and no, it was never acceptable. In no way. I know this show has dark undertones since the beginning like Poyraz Karayel but this doesn't change the fact that they screwed up badly this time.

But all dialogues…oh my, grieving part wasn't unserious and not for the sake of drama. Everyone dealt with the pain differently which looked so in character.

And of course Alaz's pain what the show chose to focus on.

Because damn, everybody knows Alaz centered episodes always hit right in the feels.

First with his mom.

Then with Asi.

Then with Yaman.

All these scenes showed painfully what he thought and gave some insight into what would possibly happen.

1-The episode ended with the mystery about who shot Serhan and we knew Neslihan was afraid that Alaz might do something to Serhan. Mind you Serhan was trying to strangle Yaman and this episode was mostly about the pain of losing a sibling.

2-Not even Asi could pull Alaz away from the misery he was in. She wanted to give a reason for him to move on but he clearly stated that this torment caused by his own family would never end. But some hesitation on his part was leaked even though he was strongly arguing with her.

He definitely showed some reaction… not in his usual angry bitter way…which made all of these moments even sadder.

When she chose to walk away he got worried for the first time -finally.

There was an obivous attempt coming from the writers. They tried to justify Alaz's comment about Asi's parents. It was like they were saying that he might have preferred being an orphan, not having a family might be a better option if one has been through the most unbearable pain because of them. However, this doesn't justify anything for me. Yeah, he might not be the most thoughtful person but they just chose to write these lines so Asi would feel worse about this pregnancy thing.

When she held the baby he looked at her in a way that made me want to scream. He still saw what was happening around him, he wasn't completely unaware of everything. He never saw this side of her. How she's with younger, little people who need her protection and compassion.

And when you know she is already pregnant with his child, it made you feel like you were punched.

(Btw the baby is so cute. Look at how his little fingers were grasping her curls. *sigh*)

3-The confrontation between Yaman and Alaz.

More reasons to worry about his future with his dad and his unborn baby.

The writers dropped a bomb but didn't give them a quick dead. This is going to be a long, torturing process.

#yabani #asi x alaz #thoughts

[widevibratobitch]

something about being told im 'the leading person at this whole academy when it comes to interpretation and stage intelligence' by the husband of the woman im trying (not really. but i mean. who knows) to seduce... ok boy you got me. lets make it a polycule.

#im playing it all cool and funny now but atm i legit burst into tears lol #like he said i have a 'good voice too of course' but i know realistically that is not my strongest asset #and even if i were technically perfect. which im NOT lol. the voice itself is just nothing special. it's there ig but that's about it #but its nice to know i may not be 100% useless after all #(just 90%) #also apparently the most feared and respected professor who came to the concert said. again. that he likes me the most. #which again. crying real actual tears about this all rn this means literally the world to me this is everything i have #and i have no one to share this with because im not gonna say it to my uni friend cause i dont want her to feel like im boasting or sth #(even tho she has no such qualms herself but probably because i know how. not great. it feels when someone keeps talking about themselves #and about how great they are and how easy everything is for them. i dont wanna do it back at her. #well there's also the fact that i dont think im great and this is not fucking easy to me at all lol #but idk i think the difference between us is that she actually admitted she sees no point in singing if she cant show off (thus she hates #the duet we're singing because she sings the lower part and cant show off her high notes or coloratura. #which is like. an insane take to me. i mean it i get it. kinda. if i had a voice like hers maybe id be like that too fuck knows. #but that just feels so. idk. sad to me. so self obsessed and empty. like you dont care about the music itself? about you being a part of it? #also immediately made singing with her not fun anymore. i thought we were creating something TOGETHER. but thanks for the confirmation #that you only really care about being 'better than'. yikes. #like idk this behaviour is funny and iconic in old school opera legends like yes go bite each others dicks off. #but it hits completely different when it's your own colleague let alone your friend. like damn girl. damn) #) anyway. the husband is kinda hot too now that i think of it. i really should seduce them both. #except its realistically not possible since they've both seen me cry now (she saw it like a hundred times lol) #so ive lost the hot and mysterious card alas. no uni professors romance for me

[nateserenas]

literally to present the world with a better version of you which could mean facing your future and and forgetting past mistakes or finally settling on a brand new path while they both stare at ticket stubs from a film they saw together (literally they both kept the tickets...) and then they promptly throw away the ticket stubs as though they've just been burnt because they catch themselves doing something terrible - thinking about each other. (literally they both kept the tickets but then absolutely did not think about why they'd kept the tickets, because as if they've reached a point where they'll allow themselves to realise that maybe it's possible for them to enjoy each other's company yet. and then them throwing away the tickets is them being like nope refusing to think about why I kept this it never happened i definitely did not willingly engage in recreational activity with dan humphrey/blair waldorf and then i definitely definitely definitely did not keep the evidence it just didn't happen none of it happened i will not think about it ticket gone means no more thoughts on the matter okay case closed moving on time to go visit serena...)

#AND THEN THEY BOTH LITERALLY GO VISIT SERENA #gg voice while dan is walking out the door to see serena “ and forgetting past mistakes” blair looking at her resume blair walks into seren #but a new year doesn' #sn't wipe away old problems #dan&serena proceed to lock themselves into the same dance they've been doing since high school and it's #blair's words that are a significant part of breaking dan specifically out of it #and then blair with her resume trying to figure out where she belongs in the world and her terror at the thought of becoming her mother lea #s to her plotting and scheming for something she doesn't actually want that much #and it's in talking to dan that she starts to let herself make plans for her life based on who she is and what she actually wants to be #rather than planning her future to run from the fears that have haunted her her whole life #it's about how they've always seen each other the mistakes theyve made what they're afraid of #but also the beauty they're forced to admit exists in their enemy/frenemy (depending on the day) #so it's like now they're talking and they're showing each other how they see each other and it's so very different from how anybody else se #es them and it's these pictures that are completely different but completely accurate that help them break the patterns of their pasts #in that the newness the difference allows for the realisation of “youre not what you were” and the accuracy is like i know you we'll show e #ch other what we actually are we see each other #okay now i'm #just rambling but it's them running away from the fact that they enjoyed each other's company and then proceeding to spend the episode trap #ped in patterns they've been trapped in forever until they help each other realise that they don't have to be trapped forever and then they #end the episode beginning to actually face the future and settle on a new path when they go see another movie together #okay done now so sorry this is insanely long help

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

It makes me a bit upset knowing that so many people just abhor the second game and there is now an opportunity to change that sentiment with a new and compelling story and it just won’t happen.

#payton watches: the last of us #payton watches tv #the last of us #the last of us spoilers #like yes I understand that it’s showing the darker side of love but we’ve already gotten a bit of that in the first game/show #there’s a way to tell a story with Abby and Lev that’s not straight from the second game #there’s a reason why people hate the second game so much and part of it is because it takes away from what the message of the first one was #I don’t know I think it could be a neat story to see all of these different communities trying to come together to re-establish order #I was in the dhall the other day talking to a friend about the left behind ep and some guy overheard #and he asked if the show was good and we were like yeah and he talked about how he fucking hated the second game #there’s a chance to tell compelling stories without completely losing your audience #because is it worth it to tell that story again if no one is going to listen/if you’re going to lose your audience? #it’s also a question of is this the most effective way to tell this story?

[fingertipsmp3]

Last night’s dream was the first one I’ve had in a long time where I wanted to fall back asleep and stay in it/experience it again

#so i’d moved back to the states under false pretences (student visa whilst having zero plan to do another degree) #and was living with my favourite of the three roommates i had last time i was there. they had however given up weed completely and become #a full blown alcoholic. our apartment was messy as fuck and i was the only person who was cleaning it #at one point a couple of our friends were helping me and they were criticising all the mess and i was like ‘it’s literally not me’ #i was taking classes to maintain the ruse that i was doing something to deserve my student visa and every class i showed up to everyone was #wearing surgical masks for covid. i also had this weird thing going on where i could see everyone irl #but if i wanted to i could see everyone in video game sprite form and i could see whether i’d met them yet and how many hearts i had #with them. and there was this guy i realllly wanted to flirt with so i tried sitting in what i was pretty sure was the seat next to his #but this other guy sat next to me instead and kind of looked at me funny #then he started talking to me unprompted about covid rates on campus and then started flirting with me and then was like ‘btw did you know #who i am?’ and i was like ‘no lol. i mean i know your name because you introduced yourself but other than that’ #and he’s like ‘oh that’s such a relief’. turns out he’s the famous lead singer of a kpop band. he’s like ‘if i took off this surgical mask #and styled my hair a bit differently i would get mobbed immediately’ i was like ‘yeah i don’t listen to kpop. i have kpop mutuals but the #whole thing is a mystery to me’ anyway he told me his name but i just called him kim to help him maintain anonymity #we made a date to hang out and study together and i went back to my horrible apartment to discover that my roommate had broken their #sobriety from weed and there was a drug dealer in my flat trying to sign me up for ‘a weed raffle’ #i was like ‘i’m not interested but what can i get for $20’ she lists off two incomprehensible measurements and weed strains and then says #‘i can give you weed hot chocolate’ i was like ‘that sounds fucking delicious sign me up’ she’s like ‘this is a good deal darling’ #i’m just like ‘okay’. i woke up still waiting for my weed hot chocolate to arrive and also waiting for my date with kpop boy #overall a really nice dream. like yeah the covid stuff and the mess was bad but honestly… honestly that’s just life atm #personal

[silverislander]

have discovered a new enemy while doing research for the honours essay. why are you pretending to understand psychology and BLATANTLY misinterpreting actual terms and concepts in order to tear down a movie aimed at teenage girls, my good bitch. i'm going to start biting

#you got the WRONG BITCH bc you just hit on two of my biggest interests (zombie movies and psychology) at once #FIRST of all. you dont have the credentials to be talking abt this and it shows bc why dont you know what psychotic means!! #simple shit!! you want to pretend you know psychology dont fuck up psychopathology psychopathy and psychosis! all different things! #you can BARELY conceive of narcissism. a one off joke about how a character recognizes his flaws and wishes he was respected more #is NOT proof to label someone as a fucking narcissist oh my god. id actually argue the complete opposite #you are accusing A Zombie of being abusive based on (checks notes) being scary looking eating brains and /protecting a girl/ #bc uhhhhhhh smth smth dark triad smth smth twi/ight #last time i checked thats literally just fucking normal ass zombie shit + him being NICE!! #its not male gaze 'ocular aggression' bestie he cant blink. hes dead. #talking about how the zombie is unrepentantly creepy when he Literally worries about coming off as creepy In The Movie out loud #SECONDLY to circle back why are you so stressed about twilight. thats not even the subject of the chapter #(there are good critiques of those movies but this is not that) #your book came out in 2015 why were you still shitting your pants and crying that girls were having fun 3yrs ago at the EARLIEST #reaching so fucking hard to 'um ackshewally [thing that teenage girls like] bad' im shocked you didnt throw your fuckin back out #your arguments are nonsensical your positions reveal an alarming level of sexism and you should be ashamed #levi.txt #believe it or not im having fun rn. im funny complaining not angry complaining #w@rm b0dies isnt a Good movie but i will go to bat for it actually. let teenage girls have fun garbage #god knows adult men have enough of their own to choose from ESP in this genre #and its a movie that has a lot of interesting shit someone could analyze!! im focusing on it as a representation of changing feminism #but id love to see a reading of its portrayal of zombiehood as disability + its cure narrative #or critiquing how it writes its female characters bc admittedly theyre bad ngl #or on how survival is represented in comparison to films like zomb!e/and (which i also love) where you 'earn' survival with competence! #genuinely there is even smth to be said for the problematic nature of the brain eating element. id be intrigued by that paper #i dont think its much worse than the play the movie is based on? but its not nothing #it Is ultimately a little bit fucked up and i dont think the movie explores it enough #but noooooo we gotta talk about how the zombie is a narcissistic abuser bc of the brain eating. ok

[icharchivist]

"Cecil isn't a tumblr sexyman" whom the fuck is Cecil? An herb??

ANON.

ANON??????????????

IS THAT A JOKE 😭😭😭

I guess only the 2013 tumblrinas (gn) know properly who Cecil is.

Cecil is the protagonist and narrator of Welcome To Night Vale, a surreal horror podcast (perhaps THE surreal horror podcast that kickstarted the trend you see those days like tma and stuff). (go listen to the Pilot, though huge warning for unreality stuff if that's a problem with you)

The show is set up to be a radio show set in Night Vale, a city where weird things happen all the time except that for the narrator, all of this is normal. Yeah of course a 5 headed dragon is running for mayor against the faceless woman who secretly lives in your house. Of course no one is supposed to go to the Dog Park. Of course everyone must give their offering to the Mighty Glow Cloud. Of course there's a ghost cat in the bathroom floating and having kittens, isn't she adorable.

One of the extremely refreshing thing about this podcast, especially in 2013, where tumblr was mostly obsessed with queerbaiting shows, is the fact that in the very first episode, Cecil meets Carlos the scientist, and immediately falls in love with him. Meaning there's a lot of episodes going "the eldritch monster camping on the highway once again committed some new incidents and people died. but that's not important. DID YOU SEE CARLOS'S HAIR? ISNT HE DREAMY?" (and they went on dates and eventually got married).

And the thing with Cecil, outside from his dreamy voice, his gay crush, and the beautiful existential sentences he could spur sometimes (“The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present” is one of my fav quotes), is that he was just a voice. There never was a single canon design about him.

So everyone could make their own Cecil. Everyone had their own version of him in mind, though we all somehow agreed on him wearing Night Vale's purple, and you would often see tattoos of eyes and tentacles on him (or that pushed with literally showing them off outside of his skin).

in the early 2010s on this website you couldn't go ANYWHERE without knowing about Cecil. Everyone was talking about him. Anyone who has been on this website for about ten years would talk to you fondly about their friend Cecil Palmer from the radio show.

We're discussing Tumblr sexymen. if you think tumblr sexymen just means a man tumblr finds sexy (even though it's weird), you're dead wrong. And Cecil had earned his place because HE was THE Blorbo.

On another note for you to understand exactly what it means on tumblr, you heard of Dashcon? Everyone's heard of Dashcon. Many people weren't here when Dashcon happened. I was here. One of the scam the people of Dashcon ran in order to get people from tumblr to come was to invite the wtnv's cast. However, last minute, they didn't pay them, and the condition of hosting were deplorable (the nearby hotel was stacked, and the organizator of the con didn't even pay the con's site at all, which means they locked all the teenagers who had came into the lobby to ask them to pay for the fees of the con's rent. Do you even realize how insane that is). So the wtnv crew didn't come.

But it was literally THE thing that represented tumblr enough that it ended up wrapped in this horrible scam. It was the moment. The thing that truly defined the early 10s on this website.

Of course you might think he's not a proper sexyman for tumblr (tbh i think Sans and the Once-ler are the real sexymen of this website) but Cecil has been the embodiment of the early 10s culture of this website. (and personally i think it'd be somewhat very vindicative of the website to have him become the sexyman this time).

Somehow... the way history gets lost in here i swear.

#tbh i think people are just. completely unaware of how the early 10s were on this website #it was widely different in term of how we interreacted with one another #i don't mean it in like 'it was better before' it just was different #i always get a grip when i see ppl talk about 'the new once-ler' or 'the new superwholock' #and everytime all they mean is 'this chara is popular' or 'those three saga are popular at the same time' #this is not what those were. god the early 10s were weird. #anyway. we put respect to Cecil's name in this house thank you. #ichareply #anonymous #unreality #unreality cw #sorry making sure but this show might be extremely unreality indulcing so be careful

[badolmen]

There was a murder and I accidentally solved it by a) being an easy/fun/oblivious target for a mean girl and b) being a completionist who knew we weren’t making headway in murder a but was too damn nosy about murder b (which was murder a but I’m face blind so I straight up didn’t realize)

#ra speaks #personal #dreams #going to go drive for a few hours now bueee #byeeee* #it was at an eating disorder camp ??? I wasn’t going there but I was there as like. idk a diversity hire? to talk about trees? #anyways mean girl murderer straight up orchestrated this other girls killing ace attorney villain style #and had like half the other girls in camp in on it but blackmailed/etc. to keep quiet. #and I was involved bc I think??? I knew damn well one of the girls was straight up lying bc I knew where she was bc we were tree talking #but she said she was somewhere else and wouldn’t budge on her testimony #anyways mean girl a pretended to be my ‘friend’ and wanted to ‘help me prove her innocence’ #anyways we ended up finding a (supposedly different and much older) body somewhere else #idk why she showed me maybe she was like. bragging??? #and my dumbass completely trusted mean girl bc idk dream logic so it seemed irrelevant to the case #until my nosiness brought it up in court and someone smarter than me started putting the pieces together #like hey we know this other kid is dead bc of blood/whatever but we don’t have a body. what do you MEAN you found a body??? #me: idk man it seemed way to old and didn’t look relevant to this case and I didn’t know if it was something to bring up w an archeologist #anyways mean girl got got. other girls were color coded fairy folk??? whose parents were pissed but bound by law to not intervene??? #and then my alarm went off