#This is not a dig I love him 100% unironically

[sarcastic-sketches]

Tristamp Wolfwood is like one of those stunt wolves, baring his teeth and snarling on camera, but behind the scenes the tail had to be done in CGI because it couldn't stop wagging at all the people telling him he did such a good job

#tristamp #trigun #nicholas d. wolfwood #trigun stampede #This is not a dig I love him 100% unironically #Tristamp Wolfwood is a hissing snarling mess that would crumple like wet cardboard if given a pat on the head

[b-rainlet]

Aegon would initially encourage Helaemond affair but then silently seethe in jealousy because he cannot believe Aemond does a better job at being a better lover (ffs, not in this too). Unironically, Helaemond would improve Helaegon relationship simply because Aegon would start a competition (solely existing in his head) of who can make Helaena cum more and harden which would indirectly bring Aegon and Helaena closer. And although I love an OT3 ending, Aegon would never want to share Helaena - he would be okay with extramarital sex, but Helaena loving Aemond more or even on the same level as him would never not trigger “omg mommy pls love ME” reflex in him. So he will taunt Aemond with their sister’s pussy but always remind him that she can never be truly Aemond’s. Ofc Helaena’s pussy is too addictive so he accepts and suffers in silence :) and Helaena is just a happy little bug in the middle getting extra dick every night :) :) :) Everyone suffers but her (as it should be)

This is so spot on, it may as well be what we would get if they made Helaegon vs. Helaemond canon lmao.

(This is gonna be looong so my rambles under the cut:)

Aegon absolutely cannot stand not being the center of attention and if he won't get any relief from his sexual obsession with his mother, then his sister has to be the next best thing.

At first it's like 'Why should I spent any time with Helaena, courting her or whatever, we're gonna marry anyway.' because Helaena was supposed to be his from the start so why even bother? Aegon is so used to Helaena being his mother's gift to him, he definitely takes her for granted. And there's no jealousy anywhere because nobody wants to associate with Helaena!

She's weird and she's a bit creepy with her bugs and her prophecies and any noble who ever was bewitched by her gentle nature and entertained the thought of courting her would've had second thoughts the moment Helaena would use a walk in the garden to start climbing into the bushes or digging in the dirt.

(I think Helaena would be very aware of how she's supposed to act in company of others but since Otto only ever really came back into the picture when the kids were already 10-14 and Viserys didn't really care, the greens most likely had some freedom in regards to behaving like total weirdos.

I don't know how much sense that makes since Alicent is all about duty and sacrifice but the first time we saw Aegon getting scolded it's by Otto, so I am personally believing that Alicent let her kids get away with a lot. And that aside from Aemond, both Aegon and Helaena used that to just. Be the weirdos they are.

Until Otto came along of course and started grooming Helaena to behave like a proper lady of the court).

And that's 100% the only reason Aegon (and Aemond) haven't been in any fights over Helaena's 'virtue'. If Helaena would've been more like Alicent or Sansa or Margaery, there would've been a bigger line up of people looking for the princesses favour - potentially even after Alicent announced her children's betrothal because betrothed isn't married yet and a Targaryen princess bonded to a Dragon? Always a big plus.

(There probably have been suitors - I can't believe the Lannisters wouldn't have tried - but as opposed to GoT, HotD feels...smaller? Like, I don't see any other kids at court aside from Aemond, Aegon and Helaena and that absolutely cannot be, but I guess they wanted the show to be more of a family drama. But maybe the books mention that there was no other potential suitor for Helaena and idk that because I haven't read the books, who knows).

I mean, the moment Jace dances with Helaena (which he btw only does to spite Aegon, I don't know why people seem to think he did it to make Helaena happy? He doesn't really care about her, they didn't even seem to have any kind of relationship - positive or negative - as kids, so why would his motivation lie with her and not with the Uncle he used to obviously be fond of and who now keeps belittling him in front of his betrothed) Aegon looks stunned. Like he never thought of the possibility of another man even looking at Helaena twice.

I mean, why should he? Helaena is his by all means and her being unfaithful? Will never happen. She was raised by Alicent after all and all of them now that the things Aegon does and the freedom he has hinge solely on the fact that he's a man.

Aegon and Aemond even share a look like 'Are you seeing this? Are we collectively hallucinating? What is going on??'

And to just think about this scene a little more and view it through a shippy lense: Aemond is probably also stunned and even more angry because there he is, the second son, the younger brother, the one who is so used to wanting yet never receiving unless he takes things by force - and pays for it in blood - there he is, resigning himself to a life without Helaena at his side because she was born not for him, but for his brother, swearing to himself to protect them both as best as he can (and their children) because that's the only way he can show love to either of them without it being inappropriate and what does Jace do?

The bastard who's waiting for his turn to sit the throne once again takes something he isn't privy to, yet feels entitled to possess, dancing with a married woman in front of her husband and his own betrothed (and even if he just wanted to annoy Aegon, I think not dancing with Baela first is seen as a slight within Westerosi society) without any thought of repercussions or honour.

So yeah, it's actually surprising that neither Aemond nor Aegon started a fight sooner lmao.

But I am completely going off the rails here, my point was that Aegon isn't used to sharing Helaena and that he would absolutely hate it.

And the only way I can see Aemond being a part of the Helaegon relationship is definitely if it's clear that Aegon is the favoured one. He's the one Helaena calls Husband, he's the one who is allowed to be tender with her in public (which he would be more and more the moment Aemond would be involved with Helaena because Aegon is nothing if not mean and he likes to see the way Aemond tries so very hard not to look at them, failing spectacularly each time).

Helaena can 'indulge herself' but only if Aegon is present/informed, I would even go as far as saying that Aemond has to ask Aegon for permission before making Helaena come, because a wife's pleasure is her Husband's business.

It's also clear that all the children Helaena will carry will be Aegon's and in turn, Aegon makes sure that Aemond doesn't get married off (if it's a situation where Aegon is King anyway).

That way, Aemond can forever remain by his siblings' side, just like he wants to, and his loyalties will forever lie with his family, but it also means that he will have no children of his own and that he will view his niece and nephews as his, even if he can't be as affectionate as he may want to, so not to stir up any rumours.

(It would also be fun if Aegon kept dangling the possibility of Helaena carrying Aemond's child over Aemond's head, promising him that if he is good and if he pleases Aegon, he may be allowed to sire a bastard - and Aegon would definitely make it a point to call said potential child a bastard, only to make Aemond hate himself a little more, because he doesn't want to 'defile' Helaena like that, but he already lost any honour he may have had when he followed Aegon's invitation to join them in their chambers all those years ago and the thought of getting Helaena pregnant gets him off harder than he wants to admit to himself.

And if said possibility ends up being true - if Aegon decides he has enough male heirs which would sit the throne way before Aemond's kid would have the chance - then there's the added pain of finally having a daughter (because Aemond would definitely have a daughter and spoil her to death, I don't take criticism on that), yet having to watch her call Aegon 'Daddy' and giggle as Aegon bounces her in his lap.

Aemond would definitely be the most distant with the kid he sired because he would feel constantly watched whenever he interacts with his daughter, whereas he feels a little safer being affectionate with his niece and nephews and his child would definitely grow up thinking her uncle can't stand her while Aemond is absolutely dying to be tender with her).

Anyway all this to say that you are spot on anon, I love any and all interpretations of the greens and their incest obsession (for example Aegon offering Helaena up to Aemond as a way of apologizing for not protecting him from Luke all those years ago), but based on their canon characterization, if there was the potential of Helaegond (which I don't think would ever actually happen, Aemond is too much of a good catholic boy to even think about his sister while masturbating) then it would be similar to what you described.

Maybe Aegon would approach Aemond after the dinner - after he worked through his own feelings of jealousy and realized, hey, there's very much the possibility of somebody realizing how neglected Helaena is and just. courting her behind Aegon's back - especially if Otto somehow has his hands in it.

I don't know why I am so obsessed with this premise, but Otto actively looking for and intrducing noblemen to Helaena as a way of enticing them to pledge alliance to Aegon? Stunning. At first it's the possibility of claiming a Tagaryen princess for themselves, later on it's being in the Queen's favour - and there's definitely some underlying hope there to be the one to ease the Queen's loneliness👀👀

And Aegon would have none of that. So, maybe it's actually thanks to Jace and opening Aegon's eyes that he would approach Aemond and ask him to 'entertain our dear sister so her thoughts won't stray'.

And Aemond is definitely affronted on Helaena's behalf because their sister would never. But at the same time, he's only just a man and the flesh is weak and I mean, at first it's just things like, spending time with her and the kids and keeping Helaena busy enough, she doesn't have any time for noblemen and their sharp tongues and wandering eyes.

Which quickly morphes into him staying the night in Helaena's chambers - just to make sure she's safe and sound of course, watching over her like a good brother, making sure she's actually in her and Aegon's bed while is who knows where, doing things Aemond would never dare think about.

But of course the closer the proximity, the bigger the temptation and the more Aemond sees how dismissive Aegon is of Helaena, the more he feels like their Mother made the wrong choice not marrying Helaena to him instead. He would've been a good husband, he would've made time for his children, he wouldn't be out there siring bastards and fucking whores while slurring out their Mother's name!

So the inevitable happens.

Little does Aemond know that Aegon was counting on Aemond to succumb to his desires one way or another. Aegon isn't stupid. He knows that Aemond has wanted their sister ever since they were children and he has allowed Aemond's quiet longing because he knows that Aemond is too much like their Mother to ever act on it.

Not without a little push at least.

So now Aegon has seemingly solved his little problem, because he has somebody to keep Helaena satisfied so she won't do anything unbecoming of a lady with somebody else (because if anybody would get to touch his wife in Aegon's opinion it would be their brother. He is the only one Aegon wouldn't kill for it and that's only because Aemond came from their Mother too and Aemond came after him and Helaena and if Helaena was made for Aegon, than Aemond can only be made for Aegon and Helaena.

Just like Daeron was made for Aemond).

Plus, Aemond is so torn up about it, Aegon has complete control of him. Aemond would kiss Helaena for the first time and immediately report it to Aegon, on his knees like he's confessing the gravest sin. And Aegon would get to play the benevolent god, forgiving and Aemond and even encouraging him to keep sinning, but only the way Aegon allows him too.

And it's a perfect arrangement.

Until Aegon starts feeling left out.

#can you tell I was tempted to write a fic with the premise?? #I am so sorry that this turned out so long and is such a jumbled mess but I couldn't help myself #Helaegond #Helaegon #ask tag #Helaemond #although idk if Helaemonds will be happy with my interpretation

[writefulclown]

asmo with an s/o who is way too much like him

asmo x gn reader (2nd person pov) established relationship; no nsfw, just cute headcanons this isn't about appearance or talking/acting the exact same way, but rather like... being on the exact same brainwave i just,, directly translated a phrase from my mother tongue, sorry

first off, this only works if you like genuinely love yourself to the point where you're concerned you might unironically be attracted to yourself. like you'd date your clone.

cause this is it.

asmo most definitely would. he has reached that point and probably gone past it

which is why this relationship was inevitable

good god.

everyone around you two better hold on to their pipe and glasses.

you're a couple of menaces right from the moment you first meet

he's immediately drawn to you in a way that he can only describe as "really weird"

everyone, including the two of you, find it crazy how your brains operate in exactly the same way, no matter how different you are on the outside

definitely too much of... having each other's backs and supporting each other.

he'll chew someone out and you'll be gasping dramatically to drive the proverbial knife even deeper

you're oddly in sync and can read each other like open books

it creeps everyone else out and they'll think there's magic or something involved. they get used to it eventually, but the doubt is eternal

you're very much the couple that will never ever be seen apart, especially with how clingy both of you are

you also have a dynamic where others can ask you about him (and vice versa) and you'll know the exact answer with 100% accuracy every single time. "where is he?" he went out to get presents. he should be back in about 10 minutes. and exactly 10 minutes later he'll step through the door. "why has asmo been ignoring us today?" someone threw out his face cream and a group of you were too loud last night so he couldn't fall asleep. until the culprits confess and give him a heartfelt apology, his highness will be ignoring everyone in this house. and all the while he'll be pouting behind your back, arms crossed, nodding along

if bodies ever get swapped (cause apparently that's a frequent occurrence) you'll be the absolute first to know where asmo is. it is absolutely impossible to fool you

you just get him. and he gets you

he knows exactly how to comfort you in every single situation and he knows how to show his love

he knows exactly what you need, what you want, what's pissing you off, when you need an exit from a place or situation, why you're sad, everything about you is so apparent to him

and it goes both ways. he's blown away every single time.

it's like the scene in the good place where eleanor gives chidi a tissue cause she knew he was gonna sneeze before he did, but every day, every interaction is like that.

he'll very quickly catch on to your sense of fashion as well. he understands it better than you do, even if it's the exact opposite of him. he needs to know because he needs to spoil you.

but it's deeper.

it feels like the more he finds out about you the more he realizes about himself

he feels really compelled to dig around in your mind. he wants to know the reason behind every single one of your thoughts and actions, but, unfortunately, that just reveals more of how insanely similar you two are

anything about you that makes him feel sad, like feeling like your worth is based entirely on how much people desire you, just boomerangs back into him

you're like a mirror that exposes parts of him that are so vulnerable that he feels... terrified.

because it's so scary to him, he feels the need to withdraw from you. just to stop himself from breaking down. he's asmodeus. he's flawless, everyone loves him, every single part of him is so perfect that he doesn't seem real. he's spent so long building this façade, he can't let it crumble.

but how can he not be around you? you just... get him. and he loves how safe he feels around you. he can get rid of all his walls and you'll still love him. you know the worst parts of him because you have the exact same baggage.

he lets his guard down incredibly fast because he's not stupid enough to waste precious time hiding away when he could be spending it with someone who is absolutely perfect for him in every single way.

you know things about him that even he doesn't. he's never had this level of connection with anyone and you bet your ass this man is glued to you for the rest of your life. it's a good thing you're just as clingy as him.

#obey me #omswd x reader #obey me shall we date #asmodeus x reader #asmo x reader #asmo obey me

[fyodorloveclub]

Waking up to that matchup really made my day ngl cuz not only did I get the loml fedya but the things you wrote made me feel like you understood me and that made me so happy🥺💞 "if there's one thing i know about u, is that you are a researcher" like this made me so happy, I still can't believe my rabbit hole digging can be considered research🥺 but yeah I really do enjoy researching random things until I learn everything about them, I agree so much with what you said

"he would gladly listen to you ramble all day long about what ever new rabbit hole you fell down that week" GOD this is literally what I want in life, someone who will listen to me ramble and that I can listen to as well😩 someone who will have deep philosophical convos with me but that also likes games and fun things

"you match, if not exceed, his intelligence level" fedya baby I may seem intelligent but I'm also a huge idiot and you'll definitely see me struggling to push open a door that says 'pull' on it (but me??? intelligent??? equal to him??? thank you???🥺🥺💞)

I didn't include it in my likes cuz I didn't want to be too biased about it but I also genuinely unironically love and regularly listen to classical music so I feel like this is another thing we could bond over fksxksne also it took all the willpower I had inside of me to stay serious and not write "I am very submissive and breedable" but I guess that was already obvious at this point skcksin

This is the second matchup I've ever joined and both times I wrote the same things and got the characters I already simped for, guess me and them were meant to be. I can't comment every single point otherwise this would turn into a whole essay but I basically 100% agree with everything you said and am still so happy you seemed to understand me🥺 sorry if this got long oops, to make you forgive me later I'll send you another fic idea I got (ps: breeding kink is involved) tysm again for the matchup, me very happy, ily <3

- 💍

AAAAAAAAHHHH it makes me so happy you liked and agree with it i always get so nervous that the person is gonna read it and be like …that’s not me at all 😭 i also didn’t want to seem like i was psychoanalyzing you too much hgdsjhfxh and ur so welcome i truly believe you two would work so well together

also it killed me that you somehow knew i was thinking abt fukuzawa 💀💀

#voices in my head #💍 demon

[gabi4u]

random aot hcs that i made

modern au????

* connie is prolly really good at the jersey dance trend on tt

* jean was the kid in middle school who said he had a girlfriend but she goes to another school

* jean ALSO posts those tt's with tweets that make NO SENSE & he's awkwardly standing there

* idky but i think moblit has the worst attitude,,,, especially after putting up with hange's antics

* miche has a straight up dad sneeze. it comes out of nowhere & its loud asf. he prolly has sneeze attacks too

* annie will 100% beat you in any fighting game. street fighters? mk11? you're done for

* armin cusses people out in gta servers with eren

* mikasa is a literal god in cod,,, her aim is so good ppl think she uses aim bot

* connie, sasha, & jean play roblox & troll kids at night while on ft

* levi watches comedy shows when he can't sleep at night bc they remind him of hange & bring him some type of comfort

* erwin & hange gossip ALL the time

* armin is surprisingly good at minecraft bed wars

* hange has a dungeon in the sims 4,,, they kidnap and kill their friends

* eren SUCKS at roblox obbies and rage quits as soon as he dies

* reiner likes to dig holes around bert's island in animal crossing

* connie is absolutely terrified of the movie caroline,, he HATES the button eyes

*erwin’s fav game is candy crush & he’s like on level 1943

* hange kicks ass in just dance,, dont go against them

* eren is a da hood tryhard in roblox,, dont @ me

* mikasa, annie, & sasha go on late night drives together

* connie does the lightskin face 24/7 ironically

* jean & marco have 3am ft calls

* armin kidnaps pigs in minecraft

* mikasa has REALLY long nails. they never break & are perfectly manicured

* eren unironically plays fortnite

* hange watches those reddit reading posts

* bertoldt stands in the doorway to scare reiner in the middle of the night

* armin rolls his eyes at literally everything,,, like damn we know you're a scorpio but geez

* mikasa has the best taste in music idc

* levi likes baked mac & cheese. he does NOT like that kraft stuff

* whenever sasha goes to a fast food place they already know her order,,, the employees love her

* connie works at foot locker

* hange has a HUGE vans collection

* erwin has those busted ass dad sandals he wears EVERYWHERE

* levi has a pair of unicorn slipper in the back of his closet hange bought for him

* armin, sasha, and mikasa are REALLY into astrology and will judge you based off of your birth chart

* sasha spams those edited facebook memes on her ig story

* erwin takes really blurry photos

* hange forces levi to make tiktoks with them

#attack on titan #eren jeager #mikasa ackerman #armin arlert #jean kirschstein #sasha blouse #connie springer #erwin smith #hange zoe #levi ackerman #miche zacharias #bertoldt hoover #reiner braun #annie leonhardt #shingeki no kyojin

[spyrkle4]

Ark hcs I have about the survivors: Scorched Earth

this post the sequel lets go

---

-The other great city (not Nosti) was from the first survivors who came to Scorched Earth, some of the survivors ended up becoming the first few settlers in Nosti tho

-That city wasn’t destroyed by the obelisks there was a civil war that happened during a rly nasty heat wave 

-One of the things ppl did in Nosti was do all sorts of contests with their pet Jerboas, like sand digging, finding treasure, racing, etc, it’s part of why Raia was very close to Radar, who reminded her of the good times n.n

-John didn’t have any Jerboa’s but sometimes he would spoil some of the bby ones with treats and extra pets, he denies any claims that he does this bc he has a reputation or something

-John is also a cat person, he spoils his sabertooth rotten, he’s one of those ppl that go “psppspspsps” @ cats

-He also unironically enjoys mantis meat, John enjoys it out of spite tbh bc those bugs gave him grey hairs  

-Raia on the other hand enjoys meat from terror birds or argentavis’ (she likes bird meat) 

-When Helena was living with her she didn’t eat the arggies as much bc Helena loved them (and she had Athena) and got upset at the idea of eating meat from the same bird species that was her travelling companion back on the Island 

-There were some citizens of Nosti that were visiting another town/on an expedition when the Incident happened

-After Nosti fell a few other towns split into caravans, thinking the Obelisk was angry at them for too many people sticking together

-Raia actually knows abt other ppl of Nosti that weren’t in town when it got destroyed, but she never reached out to them because she couldn’t help them like she used to : (

(more notes under the cut)

-Timur wasn’t rly afraid of Anything in the desert ark, but he was Slightly Intimidated by Wali Al Aswad and her wyvern squad, since the Burning Phoenix clan didn’t know how to tame wyverns

-Raia didn’t know about the Burning Phoenix clan but if she did... she’d throw hands

-Burning Phoenix clan has their name because Timur managed to tame a phoenix and united a group of survivor’s under it’s banner

-Helana got her info about phoenix’s from a lone survivor she saw with one who used to be a Burning Phoenix clan member, they never told her where they learned how to tame a Phoenix from

Helena: So how’d you learn how to tame one of these buggers?

Former Burning Phoenix: uhhhhhhhh... internet?

Helena, internally: we have no internet tho... wut...

(She didn’t push it, Helena might be a curious cat but she knows when to not push someone) 

-Nasrin was one of the few Burning Phoenix members that didn’t die from the poisoned feast (she was taking care of her kid), she knew it was Edmund that did it but by the time she buried the rest of the clan, the tribe’s prisoners were released, Edmund had already escaped the Ark

-Idk what I’d think happened to Timur’s kid, but maybe the rest of the clan Ascended and ended up on the Island or something, that’d be funny bc Nasrin is just Full of Anger @ the old man that killed her husband and most of the tribe and found out he was well respected on this ark

-It would make her so mad and she would be “>:C”

-If she ended up on the island I think she and Isabelle would be great friends (now back to Scorched Earth, I already did a post on the Island)

-Raia 100% knew Edmund was up to something and was hiding his true colors, but didn’t axe him bc Helena still trusted him, she did try to subtly warn Helena by saying that her friend might be different from his time in the desert

-Helena assumed she meant that Edmund was going thru a Hard Time and then decided she’d do her best to be there for her friend!! (Raia, internally: you are too kind for this cruel word,,,)

-Radar, Helena’s Jerboa would hiss @ Edmund if he got too close, Helena was very confused abt her pet’s behavior and usually told Radar not to hiss at her friend

-Raia 100% saw no problem bc she saw Radar having good instincts

-This is based off of the Ark videos from NeddyTheNoodle but I like the idea of Radar following Helena while she does her notes on the Scorched Earth creatures 

-Okay so the Ark wiki describes Helana and Raia’s relationship as Raia seeing Helena as the kid she never had with John and now I imagine at one point when Raia was telling Helena to be careful esp in Wyvern Trench Territory Helena in deadpan tone went “yes Mom” 

-She felt bad when Raia started tearing up a lil’ thinking she upsetted her but actually Raia reassured her she was fine

-Raia I think would occasionally cut down the wyvern population in the Wyvern Trenches because she hates those flying creatures and if she saw any of them away from the trench ohhhhh it was On Sight 

-Helena’s notes while on Scorched Earth seem to mention Raia has killed the Manticore, I imagine she’s done it a few times so people can get out of the desert ark 

-I think Helena found some of the notes John wrote, she never mentioned it to Raia but internally lost her mind when realizing that when John was saying the name Raia, he was referring to Wali (cue her having an “omg omg omg” moment while her and Edmund were getting off of Scorched Earth)

-Helena at some point found the caravan group she got separated from and managed to reassure them she did not get crushed to death by an angry rock golem

-Speaking of rock golem I bet they’re Helena’s least favorite creature bc I hc she died from a rockslide, she doesn’t remember but gets this Super Uncomfortable feeling when around them

-Raia agrees with her bc she also gets that feeling around rock golems too (she didn’t die from a rockslide, but there was this earthquake in her old home and a falling roof hit her on the head and she got knocked out and didn’t wake up :C)

-And yeah... she def was having some PTSD flashbacks when Nosti got destroyed by a sandstorm earthquake

-Speaking of that, the earthquake that pulled Nosti into the sands also formed the Wyvern Trenches 

-Okay I wanna end this on a wholesome note so I like to think that after Helena left the desert, Raia kept her dossiers and even made copies so she wouldn’t lose them, Radar sometimes hid a few copies in weird places which explains some of the spots you find the dossiers in

#ark survival evolved #ark raia #wali al aswad #john dahkeya #helena walker #sir edmund rockwell #edmund rockwell #ark survivors #scorched earth #i rly love making these #I've got SO many ideas for ab

[littleholyterrors]

seeing your fleabagposting on your main and it’s got me thinking,,, do you think when jessica grows up there might be some parallels with how she navigates love and relationships? NOT FOCUSING ON THE SEX STUFF BECAUSE THATS ALWAYS WEIRD TO DO WITH CHILD CHARACTERS but i mean like the intentional isolation, the false bravado, the self sabotage, the conflicts with religion, the doomed romance of it all, the fear etc etc

A CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT FLEABAG AND OLDER JESSICA IN THE CONTEXT OF ANALYZING PARALLELS BETWEEN THE TWO???? anon you SPOIL ME

so yes. Yes yes yes i 100% agree with all of this

if jessica were to continue down the path she’s on now (while looking at her through a slightly sympathetic but still accountable lens), then i think she’d grow up being a lonely bitter person once she fully grasps the weight of her actions. i don’t think she’d ever experience the depths of the guilt and fear that fleabag does — even when she’s more self-aware, i think she’ll always be concerned about her own wellbeing first and foremost, thinking more about how her actions cost her before thinking about how they cost others. however, years of manipulating people, forging shallow relationships for superficial reasons, and vying for attention that she keeps losing bc she can’t control herself have probably caused her to be unable to trust anyone but still wanting someone. she has daddy issues up the wazoo if you’re to take her interactions with tim at the end of “bart’s girlfriend” and in the tapped out mobile game as genuine. her ego makes her hard to deal with among her peers. and sure, jessica can scoff and roll her eyes and act like she doesn’t need them, but it’s easy for that shit to get under your skin when you’ve grown up with some degree of emotional neglect. it’s like a bad cycle on both ends: she acts out bc her dad doesn’t give her attention, and her dad doesn’t give her attention bc she acts out / her ego is too big for people, so she copes with it by further inflating her ego and acting like she’s better than them anyway. it’s that false bravado and intentional isolation you mentioned at play here!! and if she doesn’t have a good guide to ground her, then she’s gonna keep digging her own social grave

and oh my god the conflict with religion... now you know that i’m very attached to the idea of the lovejoys sending jessica to a christian camp as a last-ditch effort to reform her, and i think it’s a good representation of how i imagine her relationship with religion is in general. i feel like religion is nothing more than theatrics and excuses for jessica, something people do to make themselves look better than they actually are. this is why she’s so good at playing up the “sweet minister’s daughter” role to get out of sticky situations. i’m sure that when she was younger she was devout bc children will believe anything, but as she gets older she sees the hypocrisy of her parents — especially her mother, ever the catty vindictive contradictory woman — and realizes that their christianity is only skin-deep but their ways of reasoning still skew heavily theistic bc it’s what they’re so used to. maybe there was a sense of disillusionment that came with that realization. her parents knowingly engage in sinful behavior without so much as batting an eye so long as they don’t get caught. religion is a “get out of jail” card for them, their answer to problems that they don’t have the energy to solve themselves. half-hearted reasonings of “god’ll take care of it eventually”, “the bible will get through to you at some point”, “just pray and it’ll be fine”, etc. this is the blueprint on which jessica was raised. very clearly, religion did nothing but probably exacerbate her need to break rules bc if there’s one thing christianity loves, it’s telling you what to do. she knows how to talk the talk of the bible-thumpers and ned flanders of the world, but she doesn’t buy it any more than she buys into her own performative personality. i think the most she feels is a nagging sense of annoyance or the feeling of christian resentment (not trauma but definitely a dislike of going to sunday school and being in the church unironically).

now finally, let’s talk about the self sabotage and the doomed romance of it all..... the self-sabotage is evident in the aforementioned tapped out interactions where jessica promises tim she’ll be good so he’ll pay attention to her (her honesty is always up for debate but i’ll buy into this for narrative’s sake), but then turns around and causes more trouble. you can also see it in her relationship with bart, who she genuinely liked bc he was a troublemaker like her. i could see that she really did want to stay with him, but she couldn’t resist the temptation of stealing even though it ended up being a dealbreaker in the end. her own impulsive whims end up winning over any sort of meaningful relationship she tries to keep, and it’s an interesting facet of her behavior to explore and extrapolate... how much does she resent her wicked ways and how much does she blame others (parents, school, boys, etc) for how she is? how much does she blame herself? is there anything TO blame if she never becomes self-aware and just assumes that it’s the world that has a problem, not her? or will her underlying need for attention and affection embitter her to a point that she can’t get satisfaction from trouble alone anymore, and tentatively tries to genuinely reach out to find someone who can keep up with her in any capacity? either way, she’s probably convinced she’ll never change or be enough of a good girl for others once they get to know her, so she embraces being cruel and that includes embracing the temporary nature of the company that comes her way.

#asks #also ofc i want bart to be the one she reaches out to bc he’s the only one we see who still likes her and actually adjusts to her level #BUT YA KNO #anyway i think i have more thoughts and i didn’t draw many points back to fleabag BUT #if u know fleabag then u get where the connections are #if u don’t then watch fleabag #but either way this is the most coherent i can get #i hope u like it!!!!

[sirsparklepants]

Sometimes your next project isn’t what you thought. Sometimes your friends bring up an idea so golden you cackle laughing and there’s no way you can leave it alone.

@tentacledix ​: hot take: modern mundane au geralt is an inveterate couch surfer who does odd jobs and barter system as a way of moving around the world because the only way he knows how ot deal with personal problems is leaving a city for five years and hoping that the problem solves itself 

@sirsparklepants ​: lmao I love it

@ivoryandwines ​: that's why ciri is The Witcher in the end, because they finally manage to get shit right with her and she ends up somewhat well adjusted

also god..... you're so right pr

sirsparklepants: Modern AU Geralt is the guy you get when you hire someone off Craigslist to bring a truck to move the couch you also got off Craigslist

He's worked at every state fair in the lower 48

tentacledix: geralt always knows a guy who knows a guy

sometimes the guy he knows is him

sirsparklepants: He has a truck shell and an air mattress and he sleeps in the bed of his 80s Ford

tentacledix: now i can't decide if i want jaskier to be a genuinely famous pop star that disappears for months on end and gives his PR team nightmares before the track down geralt and find him again, or if i want him to be like. soundcload famous. 

ivoryandwines: also i'd lean soundcloud famous but recently blew up in the charts and now people are digging up his past scandals on twitter 

sirsparklepants: SoundCloud famous but has one song creeping up yeah 

Anyway modern Geralt has a membership to anytime fitness that he's had for like twelve years and he only used it for the showers when he was a reedy teenager first out but started working out so people would leave him alone while he was sleeping in his car

And that's just the tea

TD can Yennefer be an Instagram influencer peddling bullshit "natural" remedies 

tentacledix: YES

ABSOLUTELY

AND SHE GETS INTO SUCH FUCKING DRAMA WITH OTHER INFLUENCERS HOLY SHIT

sirsparklepants: she so does

Look I need a storyline that both keeps in mind her outcast status and her extremely fraught relationship with her appearance

tentacledix: you know, this makes rising soundcloud star jaskier ift even better

sirsparklepants: (Jaskier hatefollows her and when he points her out when he's sick when she has a photoshoot Geralt thinks he's asking for her help)

tentacledix: i'm picturing jaskier making mean remixes of her insta videos and i'm honestly loving it

sirsparklepants: yesssss

tentacledix: yenn exclusively talks to him in DMs because she's not going to give him the benefit of public clout 

sirsparklepants: yessss

tentacledix: stares at all the ao3 "how to use workskins to look like social media" help posts that i have bookmarked 

sirsparklepants: Meanwhile Yennefer hires Geralt whenever he's in town for whatever she needs, mostly schlepping her equipment, and he has very little idea that they have a relationship outside of him

Hey hey so

What if Jaskier hires Geralt off Craigslist to help with gig setup and then, like a disaster bi, tries to pay him in sex and that's how they meet

tentacledix: GOD

slams hands on the table

sirsparklepants: (Geralt refuses because he needs the gas money and then they do shenanigans to try and get it because Jaskier absolutely does not have it) 

tentacledix: unironically 100%, i would draw the fucking social media pictures for this, i would do it

i may do it

i may be doign it righ tnow

sirsparklepants: YESSSS 

tentacledix: also jaskier you're a fucking mess i love you

the worst part is that this has absolutely worked for him before and that's why he persists

sirsparklepants: EXACTLY

That's literally exactly what I was about to say

ivoryandwines: ...... does this

make the lodge of sorceresses like one of those influencer private dm channels where they unapologetically coordinate trend pumping schemes

tentacledix:...........yes

sirsparklepants: OMG

delighted cackling

tentacledix: yennefer one-upped fringilla way back when by posting a particular fashion shoot that was SUPPOSED to be fringillas to debut before everyone else hopped ont eh trend

and she's never been forgiven

ivoryandwines: "Okay so triss is going to collab with yenna this month because she and sile have a manufactured feud scheduled this month and then at the height of that we'll have phillipa do a callout over this to swerve into the next scheduled trend of content"

tentacledix: jesus christ i just realized how easily the toxic beauty blogger callout nonsense maps onto petty sorceress slapfights

ivoryandwines: “Can I have a Gal Pal scandal" "Can you stop being a lesbian on main for five seconds phillipa you already had one this year"

tentacledix: digs up social media templates

SOMEONE needs to write this and it surely cannot be me

And lo! It will probably be me.

#the witcher #yennefer of vengerberg #geralt of rivia #jaskier #gig economy au

[friendly-peep]

Which Homestuck characters would read Homestuck and their opinion

idk i’m bored. What’s Homestuck^2? What’s epilogues? We’re strictly Homestuck in this house. Also only doing main characters, I’m not going to dive into the Felt or caparacians, I want this to be done today.

Beta kids:

June: Avid reader. Got in early and read the whole thing. Got shirts, unironically liked it.

Rose: Got in late, but got into it. Loved the tarot deck, uses it to pretend she’s reading while she just tells people their truths. Noticed some narrative issues but overall liked it.

Dave: Got in shortly after June did, read for a while, but his irony poisoning led to him sassing the HECK out of it. Made a diss blog. Kept reading it “ironically” and cannot tell if he actually likes it or not. Got a god tier hoodie he wears at home. Sampled some of the soundtracks for his raps.

Jade: Loved it. LOVED IT. Got the full soundtrack. Made remixes. Got all the shirts. One of the blogs that posted “UPD8!” whenever an update happened. Big fanartist during the Gigapauses.

Beta Guardians:

June’s Dad: Tried to get into it to connect to his daughter’s interest, but the memes were too much, so he became the “Are ya winning, daughter?” dad. Very supportive but would need fifty slow paced “Homestuck explained” videos.

Mom Lalonde: Read it, but was too intoxicated to remember most. She holds obscure knowledge and will remember minute trivia, but don’t ask her about any of the large plot points.

Bro Strider: Too busy being A Mess Of A Human Being to sit down and read.

Poppop Harley: Too busy being A Dang Explorer to sit down and read.

Alpha kids:

Jane: Takes time to read it slowly. Has a blog of theories she constantly updates. Was upset about how some plot points got dropped and underdeveloped.

Roxy: Much like Jade, loved it. While Jade made remixes, Roxy cosplays. She has killer cosplays of most characters. Screamed about updates on twitter. No filter, accidentally drops spoilers left right and center.

Dirk: Deep, DEEP character examinations. Draws diagrams, writes essays. Unironically liked the potential of Paradox Space, may have even submit his own stories to be a guest artist.

Jake: Read the whole thing, liked it, missed many connections and plot points, was satisfied with the ending. Got some merch, can say “I read Homestuck” in public and be blissfully unaware of any positive and negative baggage that comes with saying so.

Alpha Guardians:

Jane’s Dad: Much like June’s Dad, tried to get into it. Unlike June’s Dad, watched and read his daughter’s theories (and Dirk’s explanations when Jane linked them to him) and became A Walking Homestuck Encyclopedia. Jane is unsure how to feel about this. He, however, does not reference it.

Roxy’s Rosemom: Too busy fighting the good fight to read. It’s in her radar but didn’t get the time to read it.

Dirk’s Davedad: Read it as a novelty. Sent Hussie a gold-plated Bad Dragon dildo. Put offhand references to it on his movies, but they were so oblique that even readers didn’t get it.

Jade English: Too busy running her own baking good company to read Homestuck. Not even in her radar.

Alternia Trolls:

Aradia: Much like Dirk, got REAL DEEP into it. Makes youtube vids explaining classpects and narrative points. Actually wrote a dissertation on Homestuck.

Tavros: Tried to get into it, but the first few acts were not to his taste so he never got to the trolls ironically enough. Likes the character designs though.

Sollux: Next level Dave. Critiques the FUQUE out of it on every platform he can. If Hatedom is a thing, he made it. He’s the founder. It’s him. But he read it to the end.

Karkat: Read it, loves it, does some interesting character relationship examinations. Predicted who would end up with who with 100% accuracy. Wasn’t a vocal fan, didn’t get merch, but still liked it.

Nepeta: The shipper who launched a thousand ships. She writes crackfic but with deep care, making sure it makes sense that characters would end up together. Got one of every homestuck shirt. Very into it.

Kanaya: Got into it only because her friends got into it. If Karkat hadn’t talked about it she would not have gotten into it but she did because she wants to be able to carry a conversation with her friends. Not a huge fan.

Terezi: She can and WILL correct you if you get trivia wrong. She did not sit through hours of text-to-speech pesterlogs for some scrub to get it wrong. Defiant Homestuck defender. She’ll cut you if you say you don’t like Homestuck (she won’t, but she’s judging you from the other side of the room)

Vriska: Skipped the first acts and jumped right into Alternia. Little context, little care. Pretends she didn’t, gets facts hilariously wrong which Terezi takes as an invitation to tease her. Fanartist.

Equius: Another fanartist. He made physical media as opposed to drawings. Slow reader, got into it late and didn’t finish until way after the comic had ended. Did not get to experience the comic without Random Paradox Arms all over the place. Loved by the community for his short reaction posts about what happened at the point he’s at.

Gamzee: Either first person to post “Update” when comic updated, or doesn’t read for months and then catches up in two days. Skips many chat logs, but still gets most of the plot no problem. Remembers exact phrasing of the posts he does read though.

Eridan: Another Character Analysis blogger. He dives into (pun unintended) why some characters are The Absolute Worst and writes fanfic of how they would be if they had a chance to be in a different circumstances. The Problematique fan, but only because people assume the worst of him. He’s actually pretty chill.

Feferi: Superfan, and Super Content Creator. Started making plushies and charms and eventually started selling them. Her stuff became a badge of honor and people posted themselves hugging their plushies during the gigapause.

Ancestors:

Too busy caught up in their personal turmoils to read any of it. Except the Condesce. She sent Hussie a diamond-studded Bad Dragon dildo.

Beforus trolls:

Damara: Big fan, but doesn’t express it because of the crowd she’s with. But she has a blog where she tries to get in touch with new readers and is always open to answer questions others might have. Not a Big Name fan, but she’s much more vocal online than in person, and even then it’s through an alt account.

Rufioh: Got people into it, but he himself didn’t finish reading after the Scratch. Said he would but he just never got to doing so.

Mituna: Prone to ranting when updates happened. Very emotionally invested, nearly died when Game Over happened.

Kankri: The nitpicker to end all nitpicks. He critiqued everything, and hated that there were hero mode, simplified and silly drawings. Genuinely disliked all characters for faults that he himself has, yet never self-examined. Got a following that  consisted three-quarters of people who made fun of his rants and one-quarter of people who were as intense as he is.

Meulin: Big, BIG fan. Prolific fanfic writer, if a character pairing exists, rarepair or not, she wrote a fic about them. Likes all characters and as such thinks she must devote roughly the same wordcount for everyone she can. Disappears for months then reemerges with twenty new fics.

Porrim: Moderate fan, great cosplayer. The more complex the outfit, the more she wanted to make it. Routinely goes out in Jade’s Dead Shuffle and Three in the Morning dresses because she is incredibly proud of them.

Latula: Not a big fan. Knows most of what she knows through cultural osmosis because her friends got into it, but she’s not likely to ever read it herself. Likes how into it her friends are though.

Aranea: Much like Jane’s Dad, she’s the walking encyclopedia, except she memorized the content of almost every page, and if she doubts her knowledge, will immediately go to her computer and look up what she is unsure of. Tries not to talk people’s ears off and will only talk about Homestuck when asked about it.

Horuss: Super into it. To a maybe creepy degree. Doesn’t show in public but if you get access to his secret blogs it’s more like character shrines. Don’t dig too deep into it.

Kurloz: Read it, kinda into it, but not that big of a fan. He will talk about it but he’s pretty lukewarm about the whole thing.

Cronus: Read it to impress a crush, got genuinely into it, but isn’t a vocal fan.

Meenah: Didn’t read it, much like Latula learned about it because everyone around her talked about it. Unlike Latula, she mocks everyone for liking something she says is “for nerds”. Still kinda wants to read it to be part of the conversation but her pride of Not Knowing About Homestuck is too great to overcome that hurdle.

#homestuck #john #june #dave #rose #bro #dad egbert #mom lalonde #grandpa harley #jane #dirk #jake #roxy #lalonde #strider #aradia #tavros #sollux #karkat #nepeta #kanaya #terezi #vriska #equius #gamzee #eridan #feferi #damara #rufioh #mituna

[ajora]

I never played ff5 but ngl I kind of want you to answer ALL the questions on that meme because I like hearing your thoughts about it. (and faris for the character part, because hm. yes. butch lesbian pirate. I can dig this. and your otp for the ship part, obviously.)

Oh boy, settle in because this’ll be looong.

So, for everyone else: warning: this talks about being nb/butch, a taboo ship, and spoilers for FF5.

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Toss-up between Faris and Lenna.

Least Favorite character: I don’t actually hate him because his recurring crossover character status is hilarious and he’s got great theme music, but, Gilgamesh. His final words to Faris ( 恋でもして　ちったあ　女らしくなりな | essentially: go fall in love, then you’ll become more feminine) always rubbed me wrong. The love that defines her is the love she has for Lenna, even if you don’t interpret it as romantic love, and her love should never force her to become what she’s not. 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Honestly, just Faris/Lenna. I’m chill with other people shipping other ships, but farilenna is my forever ship.

Character I find most attractive: I overrelate to Faris and Lenna is exactly my type. Gosh, but her squeak in DFFOO is adorable.

Character I would marry: I mean, I have a girlfriend I intend to marry, but Lenna would be a nice second option.

Character I would be best friends with: I’d probably get along with all of them, but realistically Butz is just the kind of no-commitment, independent friend I get along best with

a random thought: After the DFFOO event with Butz giving everything that makes him him to his dark world clone, I unironically want to redraw a SUF screenshot with someone taking Connie’s place to say that the only one who hasn’t had Steven Butz is Steven Butz. Largely because Butz shunts his personal feelings to the side to be the supportive friend and teen girl escort everyone needs.

An unpopular opinion: The GBA localization is great, but it’s not an accurate translation and sacrifices accuracy for the lulz. Which is fine!

My Canon OTP: I’mma reach and say Amano drew my otp holding each other on official art that got plastered everywhere in Japanese GBA-release media, so that totes counts as official, right? It’s the same argument the Butz/Lenna shippers used back in the day. (I even have this art in poster form)

My Non-canon OTP: Because FF5 has no actual endgame ships, obviously my otp. 

Most Badass Character: Look, Faris dove into a dragon-generated whirlpool that could have killed her to save her crew when she was 15. She fell off a cliff and crawled back up for Lenna. Faris, hands down.

Most Epic Villain: tbh the most epic villain was one who wasn’t in the game until he became an optional boss added in the GBA revamp: Enuo. He might not have been in the game’s present, but his shadow loomed large 1000 years after his death/sealing away.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Not personally a fan of shipping Butz with any of the girls, largely because he’s shaped like a friend and has been a fantastic friend to all of them, and FF5 really isn’t a romance. I’m absolutely happy to ship him with Squall in the Dissidias though. Butz/Squall is my otp for him. 

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Eh, I feel like the ending sequence for Faris could have focused less on her being a woman and more on her actual acts of courage. Courage being her whole damn thing and defining trait and all.

Favourite Friendship: Faris and Syldra. Gosh, but all the Japanese texts on them makes me mourn Syldra’s death even harder.

Character I most identify with: Faris bc butch/nonbinary reasons and huge issues with being shoehorned into one gender (male) but not really feeling it (Faris does, in Japanese at least, identify as a woman; direct translation by me: “don’t treat me like a fool because I’m a woman”) and also not wanting to 100% be compliant with femininity.

Character I wish I could be: Look, who doesn’t want to be a pirate.

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: 1997 baby. It’s been years and while I flitted out of FF5 fandom in the 2000s up til I returned now, I never stopped loving my ship

My thoughts: Yeah, the sibling incest complicates things, but also? They were separated very young, didn’t grow up together, and didn’t meet again until adulthood. There’s no actual power imbalance there. Even with respect to social status. Like, yes Lenna’s in line to be queen, but does anyone really think she’d abuse her position for anything? She adores Faris. Faris will destroy everyone in this room and then herself if anything happened to Lenna. 

What makes me happy about them: Oh, gosh, they are so good together. Also? I adore how muddled up they are together. Lenna is the Light Warrior of Water, her defining trait being conscientious kindness. Faris is the Light Warrior of Fire, her defining trait being courage. But Lenna will absolutely kill that dragon if she has to. She’ll hare off into the unknown with only a knife to find her father. She’ll trudge through poison to save that dragon she was gonna kill. Her sky dragon turns into a phoenix. She’s the spirit of Water, but everything about her screams Fire. Conversely, Faris is bonded to a sea dragon, nearly drowned twice that we know of, and over the course of the game she does become a kinder person than she was. She’s the spirit of Fire, and yeah she does have courage aplenty, but she’s so inextricably bound to water that her skills in DFFOO are water-related. 

What makes me sad about them: That they could never be together openly. Also? That modern/post-GBA fandom will absolutely shit on the ship’s fans. You’ve seen me talk in Discord about the hate I run across often enough. And it’s absolutely wild to me because I’ve been here since 1997, I’ve heard all the jokes about Faris/Lenna back then, and no one threw a fit about it like they do now. Nevar 4get the off-color FWAKs that were common back in the day. 

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Mostly just... treating the girls as Butz’s personal harem. And this is a small thing, at least. 

Things I look for in fanfic: Anything with my ship. Alternatively, anything where at least Faris isn’t straight. 

My wishlist: God I just want to talk to fellow Faris/Lenna shippers! And if I have to improve my translating-to-Japanese skills for it, I will. Also, I wanna get involved in a Faris/Lenna doujinshi someday. Or an anthology!

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: their dragons

My happily ever after for them: A cottage by the sea, all regal responsibilities forgotten, with new dragon companions because theirs died over the course of the game and Highwinds must have dragons.

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character: Superb. Fantastic. When I was a young butch in the closet with only Oscar to look up to, Faris stormed onto the scene with all her flaws and character development and a dragon friend! and yes, I dig this. Still favorite, though Lenna unseats her ever so often. 

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Lenna. That’s it, really. World of Final Fantasy floated the idea of Quistis/Faris, but didn’t provide a lot to go on. 

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Syldra! Although I have been known to ship her with Syldra too, back in the day. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: Faris is a very, very Asian trope character, her roots being in Oscar of Rose of Versailles, Takarazuka, and East Asian legends and histories of crossdressing women. I just feel really uncomfortable when white people, especially white cis people, ignore that, ignore that she herself says that she’s a woman, and insist that she’s a trans man. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I do wish the epilogue slideshow focused more on her deeds than on her feeling uncomfortable complying with traditional femininity.

Favorite friendship for this character: Syldra!

My crossover ship: Faris and Quistis becoming friends in WoFF after Quistis challenged her to a fistfight is just so Faris that I’d love to see fics exploring that. 

#replies #jaspurr

[phdna]

*arriving a month late with Starbucks and an uninteresting Endgame review*

This took me forever to write because work has been very intense lately, but I have thoughts I want to write down, for my own future reference when I’m an old woman looking back on my life, if for nothing else.

SPOILERS AHEAD, of course!

From whatever little I’ve been online since Endgame came out, it seems like the internet has been on fire swearing undying love, eternal hate and everything in between. I’m used to that because the MCU fandom has a tendency to be like that, but it feels like this time is more intense, which puzzled me a little bit, as it mostly adheres to the Marvel rules of storytelling, and people tend to not fuss over movies that do that as much as they do over movies that break the established MCU patterns. And then I did some reading and watching and talking and it just hit me that people aren’t reacting to Endgame itself, they’re reacting to the MCU. Both people who think it’s the best movie ever and people who think it’s absolute trash aren’t talking a lot about the movie, they’re talking about how the movie handled the end of this long journey that was the MCU. (Exception: time travel. I’ll get back to it in a moment!) I know I’m having a Captain Obvious moment here, but bear with me for a moment, I’m going somewhere with this.

Here’s the thing: as long as there are more movies coming, we can all overlook things we dislike about the MCU really well – “they’ll just fix it later,” right? Or we can fix it ourselves, even if we don’t write/read fics – the endless theories about what the next movies are gonna be about are in large part wish-fulfillment. Maybe next time Marvel will have more representation of all kinds, maybe next time Marvel will develop their female characters as much as their male counterparts, maybe next time Marvel will focus on this particular relationship that is either underdeveloped or so developed that it should get more attention, maybe next time Marvel will direct a character arc towards where I think it should go. But when the end arrives, we have to face that we aren’t in charge of the MCU and have sometimes wildly different expectations that what the Powers That Be have in mind. We have been emotionally invested in this universe for a long time – we bring the MCU with us in our lives even away from screens – and it sucks a little to realize that, ultimately, we are powerless to impact it. If Endgame was 100% everything you’ve always wanted for every single character and for the universe as whole, great! You’re still gonna mourn the end a little bit, but it’s cool! But if you feel like even one character of the dozens in the cast got the short end of the stick, you’re gonna be upset because don’t we all wish we could sit down with Marvel and teach them Why They Are Wrong About This Character?

I hope I’m not sounding holier-than-thou, like I’m being absolutely cool and adult about the whole thing. Hell no. I’d fight Kevin Feige in a parking lot any time, and have been ready to do that since huh… the MCU started. (Especially because the MCU has taken over the comics and I like 616 more than I like the MCU, so I’ve got beef with Marvel for that.)

So yeah, I have plenty of “What? No! Whose idea was that, that’s terrible!” moments, but I always try to focus on what I enjoyed more than on what I hated. Sometimes it doesn’t work and I get forever bitter, but most of the time, I make an active effort to 1) be grateful that WE EVEN HAVE GOOD SUPERHERO MOVIES AT ALL and 2) watch the movies I’m actually watching instead of watching the movies I think I should watch. For instance, I want to set myself on fire whenever I think about how un-family-like the Avengers are in the MCU, but since being a family isn’t a story the MCU is trying to tell, I consciously try to find something I enjoy about the constant conflicts, such as what they tell us about what each character believes, and how they keep coming back together to do the right thing despite their differences.

Arguably, that’s too much effort, and I get why some people want to be entertained and get upset if the MCU doesn’t deliver that entertainment – I mean, movies are supposed to be fun. But since I was a kid, I’ve always been a fan of imperfect things I have no control over, and I muddle through what I don’t enjoy to get to the shiny bits that give me goosebumps and keep me up at night feeling giddy over how good something was. It’s part of how I react to stuff I like by now. I don’t know, maybe it’s my History degree talking, but I don’t see what the big deal is with saying “Some of it sucks, some of it is brilliant, some of it has to be challenged on the ground of human rights, but overall I’m interested in learning more about it.”

Why the essay on how to engage with the MCU?

Because no matter how I think about it, my primary opinion about Endgame isn’t “I think it’s good” or “I think it’s bad” but just “I’m thankful.” That’s it. I can’t look at Endgame and see it as an isolated movie. I look at it and think “God, I was just out of school when Tony said I am Iron Man and now I’m a teacher and the MCU has always been there helping me keep track of the passage of time all these years.” Here, have a bad analogy: Endgame is when you finish a long travel and there’s nothing home to eat and you have to unpack and you’re exhausted and normal life is depressing and you have a headache and you’re frustrated that holidays are over and you didn’t do everything you wanted…. but that doesn’t make the entire travel a waste of time, does it? It’s actually the opposite. If the travel sucks, getting home is great. And very, very, very few people walk out of Endgame saying “Thank god this MCU saga is over, ugh, I was following it just out of obligation and I’m glad I’m free now” – I mean, there are people like that, and I can see why, but I also never finish things just out of obligation so I can’t relate. Anyway, mostly, people either expected more because the MCU is good enough to do better or thought this was the perfect ending. I’m both. Some things I loved, some things I really wish would be different, but mostly, I’m, like I said, grateful that the journey was so good that no ending would’ve fully satisfied me.

My biggest problem is with time travel. I’ve never liked the trope (not huge on alternate universes, either!), so I knew this would be a pet peeve even before I watched Endgame. I’m also surprised that apparently nobody involved in the movie can agree on how aforementioned time travel works. Fans certainly can’t. And I don’t think it’s a good thing if your audience is confused by a major part of your movie, even if there is a perfectly good explanation and the audience just didn’t get it. (Which isn’t the case, as apparently there isn’t a perfect explanation.) But you know what? I’m hand-waving it. It’s a convoluted plot device but it made a good movie, so like, whatever. Let it work in ABC way unless XYZ needs to happen, in which case, XYZ is how it’s always worked regardless of how ABC was used before. I don’t care. I’m taking what they say happened and saying “Okay, that’s how it happened” and ignoring the hows and the whys. It’s just bad comic book logic on the big screen, I’ve been rolling with this kind of thing since I was a literal child. Having said that, I don’t know what year it is in the MCU, I don’t know how Spider-Man will work, I’m not touching Cap’s time paradox with a ten-foot pole, and I’m not even gonna try to understand any of the timeline charts going around online.

My other major problems have to do with real life more than with the movie. The only original female Avenger dies in the same way the only original female Guardian of the Galaxy died, and neither of them get funerals but we do get the men in their lives suffering over it (which switches the focus from mourning the women to the men’s journeys.) Not sure if the joke was that Thor was clinically depressed or if the joke was that Thor was fat, but haha hilarious. The first openly queer character is omg a nameless cameo talking about someone we never see, isn’t the MCU so progressive? (The bar was so low that Marvel had to dig a ditch so they could somehow get lower than that.) Not loving the idea of “Thanos treated Gamora like shit but the Soul Stone recognizes he loved her” and “Tony’s dad was awful but Tony can Forgive Him” being presented as touching – it’s creepy af and makes me wonder if the MCU will end up saying Alexander Pierce actually cared about Bucky somewhat or something of that sort. Female hero team up: unironically loved it and want it projected on my tombstone (it was one of my favorite part), but it’s a little disturbing that almost none of them had much of a storyline in the movie because they don’t have much of a storyline in the MCU – it really highlights that Marvel has a boy’s club problem still. Now, none of these things make for a bad movie, it just reminds me that Marvel has a long way to go with they want to become inclusive.

Okay, now on to storylines…

Tony. Loved it. I love how the Russos direct Tony (I do have a problem with how M&M write Tony, sometimes, though, and always have) because they love to highlight how soft Tony’s heart is. Part of what makes the character interesting in any universe is that he’s willing to do morally shady stuff when he thinks he’s justified and he tends to think he’s justified because he knows exactly how smart he is, but if you explore this borderline antihero behavior without a deep commitment to reminding the audience that Tony is emotional and gentle, you end up with Reed Richards. 616!Tony will always be sweeter than MCU!Tony (even though 616!Tony’s dad literally tried to beat emotions out of him, while MCU!Tony’s dad more ignored him than actively tried to make him colder, but that’s besides the point) but Tony was so openly loving in this movie, and it helps make his death hit home, why so many people will miss Iron Man and Tony I pity Morgan a lot because she won’t remember her dad, but the only way to feel like the torch has truly been passed to other heroes was to kill Tony – keep him alive in any way and characters are gonna want his advice even if he stops fighting. I want to see how other heroes will protect a world without Iron Man. It’s exciting and brand new and feels a bit like when Fury said in 2008 that Tony isn’t the only superhero.

Steve. Let’s take the time paradox at face value and say everything goes well in every possible timeline and nobody suffers more than they would if he hadn’t done his time-heist thing, because I think that’s what the movie wanted to imply. I’m actually happy he got to be with Peggy. It’s not how I’d write him, mind you, but I always knew MCU Steve was being written as someone who is inherently out of place in the modern world. In the comics, Steve has a culture shock and he mourns people, but he finds a new family in the Avengers and truly becomes part of this century. MCU Steve was never that guy. And that’s okay, it’s a valid take! Not what I’d do, but given his storyline throughout the other movies, I think it’s a very satisfying ending that feels very organic. Saying “screw everything, I’ll do what I think it’s important” has been Steve’s constant in all movies, and it’s nice that he learned that he is important too, not just everybody else. Handing the shield was also very important – no “I think he’d want you to have it” to fuel conspiracy theories in the future: Steve made a good decision and that’s fine. (And I’ll cut a bitch if y’all keep saying “maybe Bucky had the shield before” because Sam can be a first choice fgs!!!)

Professor Hulk is a thing and I liked it more than I thought I would. Hopefully we’ll see more of him. I liked Bruce and I liked the Hulk, but somehow this version of him made me go from “Yeah, they’re nice” to “PLEASE TELL ME HE’LL HAVE A SOLO MOVIE” so good job in redeeming the Hulk franchise, Marvel! It only took you 10 years to get the right tone, but hey, what matters is that you did it!

Thor…….. Um. Hard. I liked his character arc but hated how it was handled. I’m not even a huge fan of Ragnarok because comedy isn’t my thing, but watching Ragnarok, I could see why the movie worked and the humor didn’t come at the expense of being fair to the character. Endgame felt more like the movie itself was bullying him. They’re laughing at his pain, basically, and it’s just not funny. It bothers me for the same reason it bothers me when people say pre-serum Steve should never leave home – just… no. But then, we got Thor and Frigga and I’d sell a kidney for more Frigga, so, it wasn’t completely awful. Just like, 90%?

Natasha!!! I hope everybody who said Scarjo can’t act paid attention to this movie, because she gave Nat a depth that we haven’t seen since CATWS, and even then, because it was Steve’s story, she was sidelined. That’s the Nat I’ve always wanted in the MCU. …and of course, she’s dead. Luckily, we don’t know anything about MCU!Nat, so we can still get prequels even if they don’t want to bring her back to life. It’s a little shady that she dies (why is it that the randomly decided death always seem to be randomly assigned to whatever the minority in a team is, huh?) but I love that she sacrificed herself for the greater good. It’s a heroic end to a woman who thought she was gonna be a villain her entire life. Oh, oh, oh, I have to say this: Natasha leading the remaining Avengers? Godtier. I’m not much of a fic person but I desperately want fics of that off-screen period where she’s being a boss.

Clint. MCU!Clint never did much for me, so I was impressed that I was rooting so much for him during the movie. I don’t know if he’ll just retire completely, but I’m hoping he doesn’t so we can see more of him in the MCU.

Okay, that’s the original Avengers and I’ve already written……. Too much. So I’ll stop – sort of – here.

But first, other random comments.

Fight choreography? On point, 10/10, would let Marvel beat me up to experience these sequences myself

“I am inevitable.” “I am Iron Man.” I cried so much the screen got blurry and I almost missed the snap. Thank you for this exchange.

I love and support Morgan, but I’m dreading the idea that in a near future, the MCU will get Riri’s entire story and give it to Morgan. Please, MCU, I’m counting on you, have Morgan grow up to befriend Riri, not to steal her role.

Nebula needs a solo movie. Nebula needs a whole cinematic universe, actually. What a character.

Speaking of which, GotG 3 is shaping up to be very cool

Sam being the one to say “On your left” in the movie where he becomes Captain America? Poetic cinema. Also! Sam Wilson is Captain America and both the human being who wants children to grow up in a better world and the geek who wants to see flying Cap in me are equally over the moon with joy

Bucky, my darling, the MCU hasn’t known what to make of you since 2011. It’s okay, Sebastian Stan will always do his magic and make you be Bucky even when Marvel doesn’t fully understand anything about your character

Pepper’s character development in 10 years is protagonist-worthy, I can’t believe how she always only has a couple of scenes every movie

Tom Holland should not be allowed to have crying scenes, they make my heart hurt

The movie feels a lot shorter than it is

There’s a lot more I could say, but I’m writing it on Word (tumblr sometimes eat my text posts as I’m writing them) and the wordcount is nearing 3k, so I better shut up. If you’ve read all of this, please treat yourself to a milkshake, you’re awesome. If there’s anything you want to talk about that I didn’t address (or just… you know, about Marvel in general), my ask and my direct messages are always open. I’ll probably take forever to get back to you (I NEED A VACATION ASAP) but I will eventually answer you and I don’t bite, so please go ahead if you’re curious about my not-so-very-interesting thoughts :)

TL;DR: Endgame isn’t my favorite movie (IM, IM3, CATFA, CATWS and BP all come first, sorry) but it’s up there in the “I can watch this movie a thousand times and I won’t get tired of it” list, and I think it does a fairly good job in ending the Infinity Saga, so I’m basically pleased!

#avengers endgame spoilers

[myra-the-magician]

The Arcana music preferences headcanon (sort of modern au)

Asra

Drama Free- Deadmau5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gn-gHjT3dFs

Everything to me - Lips (Adventure Club remix) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKBb0O2NIvc I couldn’t decide between the two songs— both could be applicable depending on his mood soft asra vs daddy asra

lofi/edm/house/softcore dubstep

Subscriber to the lofi hip hop radio- beats to relax/study to youtube channel

Imagine lofi music in the background of the incense paid scene omg

Low-key I think he’s a synesthete?

Can see colors from music and shows them to you with his magic

Anything he can vibe to is def asra’s speed

Having quiet music in the background of his readings helps him drown out everything else to hear the cards better

Loves a good light show— the upstairs windows have stained glass over them so the sunset casts amazing colors over the room

Will close the shop to lay with you and watch the colors climb over the walls with softcore dubstep playing in the back

Sex to this music is mind blowing

Julian

Caraphernelia (acoustic) - Pierce the Veil https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJC6Lw08ynw

In My Life/ A Heart Full of Love - Les Miserables https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C2oPyjoy8g his favorite song to duet with you

Pop punk and sad bitch hours music

ALSO MUSICAL THEATER?!

Les Miserables is his favorite musical because how could it not be

He’s dramatic what can we say

Will put music on quietly while he works in the lab

After the apprentice got sick he blasted music instead so the place didn’t seem so quiet without them

Basically loves anything you’d listen to when you’re sad to make yourself sadder (everyone’s done it, you know what I’m talking about)

Wants to feel his feelings— its not a phase

Is the best at putting on air concerts for you— you’ve spent hours singing with him (musicals especially)

Will do karaoke if he’s drunk enough

You’ve sung him to sleep on multiple occasions

Lucio

Killin’ It - Krewella https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uJfQbbijHo

Hefner - Tana Mongeau https://www.youtube.co/watch?v=HvGur0cF414

Likes hype/party music

If it’s got a good beat and is loud he can dig it

Any genre but if he gets attached to a song he’ll play it on repeat throughout the entire castle— doesn’t care if everyone else hates it

LIVES for a concert and concert energy— especially if he’s in the VIP section

Likes raves because of the outfits

Also unironically likes Taylor swift

Muriel

Charon - Keaton Henson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frm_L59Keh0    

Classy Girls - The Lumineers https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvsHioOYIYE  you sing him this when he wakes up from a nightmare to cheer him up and soothe him

Originally only likes classical music (he’s a calm guy, prefers quieter stuff) but after you show him some acoustic artists you catch him humming to himself

I feel like he’d get overwhelmed with music that’s too upbeat or is high stim— but he loves acoustic and calmer music

especially likes bird sounds and nature sounds in music

Loves when you sing to him, asks you to sing to him if he wakes up from nightmares

(I imagine he has some sort of PTSD from fighting as a gladiator so you have to be careful showing him songs that have to do with violence— you stick to love ballads for him, The Lumineers is great for this)

Nadia

APESHIT- The Carters https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbMqWXnpXcA (also jeez can we talk about the aesthetic and Beyonce in this video PLEASE it embodies Nadia 100% imo)

Spirit Animal - Jessi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvIQlfNzSxo

RAP

She can spit a verse like no other

Also really likes Beyonce because please how could she not

Originally she used music to get out her frustrations with lucio but after she woke up she found comfort in the muscle memory of knowing long/fast verses by heart

You can tell how over the court she is by which artist she puts on

The angrier she is, the more aggressive the song is

Portia

Anna Sun - Walk the Moon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDVW81bXo0s

Coloring Outside the Lines - Misterwives https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onO-nB7UOmk

HAPPY MUSIC

Upbeat anything— she wants to DANCE

On multiple occasions you have burned breakfast because you cant stop dancing with her instead of watching the eggs

She comes up behind you and sings verses in your ears

Definitely hums to herself while gardening

Also dances with Pepi

Pepi loves this

#the arcana #the arcana game #the arcana headcanon #myra's headcanons #julian devorak #dr devorak #asra the magician #count lucio #countess nadia #nadia satrinava #portia devorak #the arcana muriel #muriel arcana

[kincringeemporium]

So I promised y’all a high school kinnie storytime. Suffer/enjoy.

First off, for some context, I was generally a dick in high school. Nobody has to be a social butterfly, and if you’re more focused on your education than having lots of friends at that age, hey, good on you. I’m not dragging that. I’m saying that I was -- again -- a pretentious little piece of shit. 

Now, being a pretentious little piece of shit, I sought people who didn’t follow the usual crowds and didn’t agree with the most common points of view in my school. These people were, in my mind, smarter. Better. More worth my time.  

However, being rather bored and lonely and wanting at least one friend, I kind of shrugged off some red flags that showed up among the people who did meet my stupid fucking high standards. I didn’t ignore these red flags, but shrugged and went, “Well, if I don’t hang out with them, I won’t be hanging out with anyone.” 

So, here are the key players in this magical tale of bullshit. 

If, by some fucking miracle, either of them manage to find this (because they are most definitely on tumblr), I don’t want some shitsplosion out of my laptop screen -- so, fake names.  

Marc, who claimed to be an aroace trans boy. (I say “claimed” because... you’ll see.) 

Z, who was apparently nonbinary, also I can’t remember anything about their name other than that it had a Z in it. 

Alright... So I decided to start a writing club. Marc, Z, and some others showed up because I’d been polite to them in classes and such. We also shared some interests. Mainly Steven Universe and Tumblr. (The others aren’t really important, so I won’t mention them beyond that.) 

In the first meeting, we shared our names, pronouns, hobbies, and years of writing experience. Marc and Z didn’t come up with any hobbies aside from “Internet”, “anime”, and the dreaded “social activism”. At this point, the logical bit of my brain was like, yikes. 

But it gets way, way worse. We also shared our Tumblr urls (my high school Tumblr is still out there, btw). I will now list some of the shit that I encountered on their blogs. 

“Soft confused transboy, they/them or he/him” on Marc’s about 

Undertale Sans in front of green/yellow/black flag as Marc’s icon 

Some edgy, fake-deep line in Z’s about (I don’t remember what) 

“They/them, xe/xem” in Z’s about 

A whole fuck ton of SU Peridot posts from Z 

Posts on both blogs @’ing each other, tagged with “qpp”, “pda”, and related shit

“lol Big Gay!” and “ewww straights!” jokes all over both blogs 

Yeah. Yikes. But still, I was pretty desperate for something to do. 

So I kept talking to them. I thought Marc was alright, so tried to find out more about him. Eventually we got round to talking about crushes, orientations, etc. I asked Marc what qpp meant. 

He gave me some long winded explanation that didn’t actually explain much. What I understood from it was that a qpp is a friend who you love, but aren’t in love with. (Which is... just a best friend.) 

Z gave a similar explanation. And I thought... alright. I guess that’s that. Weird, but eh. 

Until one day, a ‘tag something about your crush/s.o.’ post appeared on my dash from Marc tagged “I kissed my qpp today!! I’m so happy!!!” And I was... confused. Didn’t Marc, as an aromantic person, not fall in love? Didn’t kissing someone and getting those warm fuzzy feelings mean you were in love with them?  

I decided to do some digging. An initial scroll through Z’s blog revealed surprisingly little of interest... but then I found, buried somewhere in their links, a “me” button. So I clicked it. Selfies. I was about to click off before I reached the very bottom and, being in public, had to do a double take to ensure no one was behind me. A bikini selfie, yay! And Z was 16. Butt out, tits out, all of it. Tagged with, you guessed it, “body positivity”.  

Now... I’m not insulting overweight people (Z was a little overweight) for liking themselves, feeling confident, etc. I’m not even insulting them in particular wearing bikinis, even if I don’t like bikinis in general. I’m saying that at 16, Z should not have been posting sexy selfies under the guise of a movement that claims to be built on self acceptance and confidence. 

So, I pulled away from Z some. 

That left me more time to talk with Marc. I didn’t say a word about his relationship (bc that’s what it was) with Z. Looking back, I find it odd that throughout our entire friendship, Marc didn’t mention dysphoria. Of course nobody has to tell all their friends all about their dysphoria. There was just no “Ugh, I got misgendered earlier” or anything about “pre-transition, I...”  But anyway. 

I started looking through Marc’s blog again. There were a hell of a lot of Sans posts and it didn’t click with me back then that Marc may have been a fictionkin. I don’t recall if he tagged the Sans posts with anything kinnie-ish, but holy fuck, there were a lot. It was weird. 

Also weird was that as the year went on, Marc stopped showing up to writing club as often. I asked him what was up, and said that if he didn’t want to be in the club anymore, he should just let me know - because that’d be okay. But no, he made some excuse and walked away from the conversation. 

The next day, I got a text from Marc saying (not verbatim, but still): “Hey, my anxiety has been really bad lately, and my doctors are saying not to participate in social clubs like this. I’m too tired. Really sorry!” 

 I said it was fine and didn’t think much of it. He and Z still spent a lot of time together in the halls and such; I didn’t put a ton of thought into that, either. 

Sometime the next week, a writer friend of mine (who was also in the club, and not annoying or shitty or anything), invited me to a GSA meeting. I was bored and decided to try it out. 

When I walked in, guess who the fuck I saw? 

Marc and Z.  

He could not even meet my eyes. I’ve never seen a person look that fucking guilty. My writer friend could tell something was up, smartly wanted no part of it, and excused herself. 

Marc had been attending GSA meetings the entire damn time, while claiming that he was following doctor’s orders by leaving writing club. 

Fucker. 

That’s the last I saw of Marc and Z.  

And all the things that add up to suspiciously kinnie-like behavior... 

Z’s neopronouns 

Marc’s weird mogai-ish version of aromanticism 

Marc’s Sans icon and Sans posts

Z’s fuck ton of Peridot posts 

Both Z and Marc encouraging each other’s behavior 

Marc’s lying and fake anxiety claims 

“soft transboi” 

So... that’s that. 

I’ve got more cringe-inducing stories, too. I can tell y’all about: 

A girl in bio class who was a complete ballsack

she was obnoxiously, overly sweet 

she used her mental disabilities as an excuse to act ignorant 

she thought being gay was a choice 

she clearly had no respect for transgender people (with legitimate gender dysphoria) 

was a complete pain in the ass to my favorite teacher 

I did something passive aggressive to her because I was done with her shit 

Two girls in anime club who were also huge ballsacks 

appeared to hate each other 

one was very small, quiet, and a loner 

other was loud, edgy, and unironically said “we’re here and we’re queer!” 

quiet one 100% lead me on  

loud one was a fucking dick to me

there’s a plot twist 

bonus: loud dickish one tried to be my friend and I was not falling for it

-K 

#long post #cringe #kinnie cringe #high school

[goron-king-darunia]

Tagged (by vague gesture of “if you wanna do it, TAG!”) by @biophilie like, 2 years ago, so I’m finally doing it. Rules: Choose any three fandoms and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

My Three Fandoms: Legend of Zelda, Tales of Symphonia DotNW, and One Piece since those 3 have taken up big chunks of my attention over the years. Would do Darkwood since it’s a current interest but since there are so few characters, it would make the meme here harder so... Darkwood will have to wait.

The first character you loved: LoZ: I was a slut for Link as a kid, TBF I liked most protagonists, but I liked Link a LOT. DotNW: I actually liked Ratatosk a lot at first because he was cool and mysterious and tough! My first impulse was really liking Richter’s design but the first character I loved/really liked based on gameplay and actual characterization was Ratatosk. One Piece: I really liked Red Haired Shanks and was sad when he didn’t really show up again for a LONG time.

The character you never expected to love so much: Loz: There’s a few so I’m gonna cheat a bit. In OoT and MM, Ruto and Skull Kid were just kind of characters that existed but I didn’t like much. Didn’t actively dislike them but didn’t really bother taking an interest in them. But I like them a lot more now, especially with how they’re characterized in “non-canon” material like the Manga and Hyrule Warriors. The only other character I can recall from the game series that I was surprised that I liked was Peatrice from Skyward Sword. At first it was just like “Oh, yeah, she’s just the girl who stores your items, whatever. She’s neat I guess.” But then she started changing. She got more cheerful when Link came around more and showed an interest in him and when she asked if he liked her I just couldn’t say no! And then she just became so obnoxiously bubbly and happy about it and I LOVED THAT SO MUCH. Unironically I ship Peatrice and SS Link because, like, Link and Zelda are great friends but they don’t interact much since Link has to try to save her and Zelda has goddess things to worry about. Peatrice is just always there and unlike Zelda who already has a good rapport with Link at the start of the game, you get to SEE Peatrice warming up to him and I am SO soft for that! SO SOFT! Actually, one more also from SS. Groose. He’s an obnoxious, selfish, gloating bastard man, but by the end of the game with all the changes he went through, he totally grew on me as a cool dude. Especially with how he and Impa got along.  DotNW: Slight cheat here too since the character didn’t debut in the game but... Colette. I honestly didn’t like her that much in Symphonia. I just kind of viewed her as an object that motivated Lloyd for a while and the impetus for everything happening in the game and it wasn’t until the end of Symphonia that I really started thinking of her as more than just a ditz that Lloyd happens to like. I’m not really sure when it happened but I started really appreciating her after DotNW, and not really because of anything she did. I guess I just eventually noticed a lot of her finer points and all the ways she contributed and how her kindness is actually super refreshing and hopeful and how soft that is considering what she’d gone through. See also my next point on Nami because hooo boy I was kind of a shitlord kid and needed to get through some things... One Piece: Nami. I HAAAATED her when I was young. Partially because of internalized sexism (probably shit I learned from sexist media, my dad, and just the lack of trust I had for any girl that wasn’t my friend because of massive bullying as a kid, but I digress.) and partially because one of the biggest parts of Nami’s arc early on was her utter betrayal of the crew. Like, we find out WHY later, and obviously I TOTALLY get where she was coming from now and all but as a kid that was just UNCALLED FOR. I also HEAVILY viewed her as the “no fun allowed” type that was actively impeding my new fave, Luffy, from having all the fun he could want because that shit costs money and the money is HERS. As a broke Millenial, I now 10000000% get where Nami is coming from and her financial responsibility is honestly hella impressive because she absolutely DOES NOT withhold the treasure from the rest of the crew, she fucking BUDGETS it. In general, I tended to dislike a lot of leading females for being catty or killjoys or a lot of other things when honestly, they were just being completely normal humans. Glad I grew out of that shit because while Nami still isn’t my fave, she’s fucking amazing.

The character you relate to the most: Loz: It’s changed over the years. I relate to Ruto a lot more now because yo, I would also just fuck off into the gut of my people’s patron Deity if my dad was being a pain and trying to marry me off (okay, so this is Manga exclusive, sue me) and 10/10 would give a precious family heirloom to a cute boy that rescued me. But more than that, IDK, she’s just... a lil’ spoiled but in a cute way, a lil’ tomboyish, but overall, for a Princess, she’s just kind of doing her thing, she’s responsible when it matters. But for OoT, y’all KNOW Darunia is my patronus because DAYUM. Chunky but strong (I’m a wuss but shut up), Grumpy butt but cares about his people, actually totes a fun dude when he’s not stressed about a food crisis, says “fuck you” directly to a fucking evil asshole despite the consequences, treats a fucking 11 year old kid like a full human being (I do not agree with leveraging a kid to fucking fight a dragon but... Link could handle it so...) names his own kid after Link because why the fuck not, befriends anyone that does him a favor and treats them like family. Dude’s just got chill old man vibes and I dig that shit. 10/10 relate to just being a fat dude that is grumpy but also wants to befriend everyone. HOWEVER, I think my top tier relatable character is Midna from Twilight Princess because that bitch is just me. Cursed to be a hot bitch trapped in a cute chunky body (I am working on myself. XD) 10/10 spoiled and bitchy as fuck, cheeky lil’ asshole who’s actually very sweet, think’s Link is dumb but also cute, cares about her world but ALSO cares about Link’s world, a lil’ selfish but also HELLA selfless because she cared more about Link and Zelda than her own life and cared more about her people than her own safety because she just fucking WENT TO FIX THAT SHIT when Zant started causing trouble, even though she didn’t have to. She’s everything I am or aspire to be. 10/10 one of the best Zelda characters. DotNW: Hard to say. I identify a lot with aspects of Richter, Aster, and Emil. I don’t have a lot of self confidence and am a bit of a shy bean, lil’ grumpy, but also a complete goober and an idealist, 10/10 would walk into hell for someone I love without thinking twice and would make deals with demons to try to save someone I care about because I am a dumbass. I love the DotNW boys because the DotNW boys are me. One Piece: Chopper. I just really fucking vibe with the whole “nobody likes me EXCEPT HOLY SHIT SOME PEOPLE SOMEHOW LIKE ME, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT?” thing he has going on, as well as the whole glutton for praise but telling people to shut up when they praise me thing he has. I for real wanted to be a doctor when I was younger BECAUSE of Chopper. I’m just a weird little bean that doesn’t fit in anywhere very well while also being a slut for praise and wanting to take care of others and help them because other people have cared for me. Low key also vibe with Usopp because dude absolutely gels with kids, is a huge fucking wuss but deals with it anyway, will literally fight someone over petty shit and then come back and fight side by side with his bud’s again.

The character you’d slap: LoZ: Mmmmm. Hard to say. Like, obvs the villains but IDK who else I’d really want to slap? Does it count if I want to slap Anjuu/the Cucco Lady but, like... gentle and on the butt and in a sexy way? IDK, man. I’d feel bad but maybe Slap Mido? He looks like a kid so I’d feel REALLY bad for it, but aren’t Kokiri literally just kids forever? Asshole could be 100 years old, man... Either way he’s kinda a brat. 10/10 would slap early-game Groose from Skyward Sword also, but I’d feel bad about it because he ends up being a decen guy later. Also would slap Ghirahim for being both sexy and evil. DotNW: Alice for deciding that “never being weak again” means treating everyone else like garbage, even though I 1000% get where she’s coming from. Richter for being a fucking dumbass and not asking for help and deciding that demons were a good option and manipulating a child older dude with a magic core was a great idea even though I would do the exact same thing in his shoes. Ratatosk for being a murderous prick and starting the whole thing even though I absolutely understand where he’s coming from and I would also probably accidentally smite someone if I was a fucking spirit and in a shit mood because the only thing I really cared about was fucking ripped away from me. Honestly, mostly just me slapping people that remind me of me for doing exactly what I would do. Sensible me slapping actual me because actual me is a fucking dumbass emotional bitch with violent tendencies. One Piece: The fucking villains, obviously, Dr. Hililuck/Hiriluck for being a fucking bastard in the manga, holy shit was he an asshole! And also FUCKING SANJI. Jesus fuck, I am not over the pervy shit he does, what a creep.

Three favourite characters (in order of preference): LoZ: This is gonna be REAL hard because I love a lot of characters so... Midna, Link, and Darunia? It’s hard man. I love a lot of characters SO MUCH and it’s really hard to pick faves! DotNW: Richter, Emil, Aster. Emil and Aster share the same level of favoritism, but Richter is my number one. One Piece: Chopper, Zoro, Luffy. I used to like Luffy way more than I do now, but he’s still a fucking dork and I still like him tons.

A character you liked at first but don’t anymore: LoZ: I can’t really think of any, but I guess the character I waffle on a bit is Malon. Sometimes she’s like “Heck yeah! FAVE!” and sometimes I’m like “Eh, she exists...” IDK, I really like most of the characters. DotNW: I used to like Zelos a lot, but not anymore. Yeah this is kinda cheating since he ALSO didn’t debut in DotNW, but he’s in it so... TBF I like him in DotNW BETTER than in the first Symphonia, but not as much as I used to like him overall. One Piece: Fucking Sanji. I used to like him before the creepy factor set in. What really hit home for me was the Thriller Bark arc where he outright says he wanted the power of invisibility to creep on girls. Fucking nasty. The womanizing thing was just a quirk before that. I don’t think I’m ever gonna be over it. So gross and creepy now knowing he actively thought about creeping on girls using a special power. I know guys say this is a common thing and just how dudes are but no. That’s fucking sick. It’s one thing to say “yeah, I want to oggle women because tiddies are sexy” or whatever. It’s another thing to say “I WANT TO SPY ON WOMEN WITHOUT THEM KNOWING SO I CAN SEE TIDDY.” and it’s a third thing to say that IN A WORLD WHERE IT IS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE TO BE INVISIBLE that you WOULD USE THAT POWER TO STARE AT WOMEN WITHOUT THEM KNOWING.

Three otps: LoZ: Link and basically everyone, but let’s narrow that. Link and Zelda is a classic, Link and Ruto is a guilty pleasure, Link and Peatrice is the underdog ship that I dig a lot. DotNW: Every combo of Richter, Emil, and Aster, enough said. One Piece: Luffy and food because he’s Ace, just let him fucking eat. Zoro and whoever he ends up liking. Tashigi maybe. Chopper and Milky.

Tagging: Anyone that wants to do it~

#ask meme #fandom meme #about me #kinda

[hypnoticharlequin]

Hypnotist Posters (Again!)

I’ve done this once before, but there are so many interesting old hypnotist posters around I couldn’t resist showing off some more I’ve come across.

I covered the Flints in my previous post but I wanted to show this one off. I actually unironically love this poster as it reminds me of Dante Gabriel Rossetti’s works due to the floral pattern and the lush skin tone used on Miss Flint. 

What I have found out since the last installment was that Miss Flint was heavily advertised as a solo performer, getting her own posters and other things. According to one source I found, she was famed for her dress collection and women would attend her shows, just to see what dress she was wearing that night!

Also, she had the cutest nickname a hypnotist has ever had. Seriously, “The Little Hypnotic Subeam” is just fantastic and would actually make her stand out amongst her contemporaries who went for much more formal and authoritarian titles.

I think this poster is from the 1890s. At least that is the date I see linked to this poster when it is mentioned and the art style sort of fits that date.

Obviously, the first thing that draws your attention is Kennedy and his pose. Where a lot of hypnotists went for a more intimidating or solid pose, Kennedy seems rather fancy-free.

Also, it’s nice to see the moon from Majora’s Mask getting work. This was one of it’s earlier appearances while it was still young and fresh faced. The people on the moon are pretty cute, I like the woman in the middle, I mean it takes a lot of effort to be having so much fun you almost fall off the moon. This poster seems to fit in with a tradition that saw magicians hanging out with various magical beings on their posters. Seriously, the sheer number of posters that feature magicians just chilling with Satan is pretty mind blowing.

If I could sum this poster up in one sound, it would be never ending screams. 

Now, I can’t find much about “The Amazing Ormond” but I do wonder if this is Ormond McGill, better known as Dr. Zomb. He wrote the book “Encyclopedia of Genuine Stage Hypnotism” which is still considered to be the bible of stage hypnosis. 

This poster is honestly terrifying. I’m not sure if it’s partially due to the reproduction, old paper stock with a black background is notorious for its inability to scan well. But the black eyes mixed with the uplighting give this a seriously creepy vibe, Ormond’s face having an almost uncanny valley look to it.  

But, I can’t deny it worked, I’m not able to go through my folder of hypnosis posters without this one catching my eye. In fact, one of the main reasons I am writing this post is so I can delete this image from my hard drive. 

I don’t know why, but this poster reminds me of a perfume ad. I’m not sure if it’s the color palette or Miss Brandon’s slightly wistful look. 

Joan Brandon is pretty famous in magic circles for being the first televised female magician. She was famous for combing her magic with orchestra music (played by her own orchestra) and was very well known for her signature trick, a magic cocktail bar (a variation on the Think-A-Drink trick.) 

In hypnosis circles, she is most known for her books, The Art of Hypnotism, Successful Hypnotism, The Science of Self-Hypnosis and Help Yourself Thru Hypnotism and Self Hypnosis which are all still good reads even to this day. 

The Art Of Hypnotism is also known for its rather amusing photographic illustrations. It’s easy to find online but quite often turns up for a few dollars on eBay or in second-hand bookstores and I thoroughly recommend it. 

This poster is one of those I see around a lot and only recently bothered to look into the history of. It’s from 1966 and I always thought it was from later on. This poster looks just so very 60s I really had it down as a later parody of the style as opposed to actually just being of that era. 

It actually took me a long time to find out even the most basic things about this guy but Merlin (real name William Joseph Rawle) was from Australia and was Australia’s oldest performing hypnotist.

I want to zoom into the text under Merlin for a moment, as it is rather glorious. 

It really is a throwback to older posters to have a description of the acts performed front and center, but compared to some of the older hypnosis posters (which promised utterly insane things) this seems rather restrained. In fact, these are now considered stock hypnotist tricks.  

What makes me chuckle is the onion eating trick. It’s done all the time but it always interests me to see which fruit is used as the replacement taste. In the UK it always tended to be an apple, and I’ve seen orange used a bit in the US. I wonder if you could do a chart of “onion taste replacement fruits” arranged by geography. 

Being the oldest performing hypnotist, Merlin has several other posters over the years. 

This one focuses more on his mind reading as opposed to his hypnotism, but I utterly love the design. It has this almost 3D effect which makes it look like the poster has a few actual physical layers, but I do suspect it might be the issue with scanning black ink rearing it’s ugly head once more.  

While the last one was pretty joyous this one is practically metal, with its skulls and very industrial images in the crystal ball.

 This poster seems very old school compared to the other two, mostly due to how text-heavy it is. But unlike some posters, the claims all seem pretty normal by today’s standards. The only one that sticks out to me is the one about treating children for nervous complaints while they sleep. All the methods I have seen for this involve just standing and whispering to your child while they sleep because nothing helps the nerves more than an adult looming over your bed whispering at you in the deepest, darkest night. 

Virgil and Julie were a big magic act in the 1950s and 1960s taking shows containing a few hundred illusions around the world. 

Hypnotism played a part but it was nowhere near the focus of the show, but this poster is something to behold, it really is a mish-mash of everything that was hip in the era. The B-movie Esq UFO and the almost eerie-cutie spacewoman flying around it. 

Julie’s costume is very similar to that of the Jeannie from the Tv series I Dream Of Jeannie which debuted in 1965 and went a long way to putting the “harem” costume we know today into the public consciousness.

I want to end on this poster which became quite the rabbit hole for me and I’m frankly not 100% sure I’m correct on all of it. 

I had a real good laugh when I saw the Reveer because he looks like every stereotype of a magician and hero cowboy got thrown into a blender. The turban and the Lone Ranger mask just look so silly together. 

I also found it funny that his name was close to that of Reveen, the hypnotist famous for his performances in Canada who would have been performing at around this time.

Then I got to digging and found I could find hardly anything on Reveer, apart from some poster seller listing him as Tony Cole, a magician who apparently worked sharpshooting into his magic act which does explain the Lone Ranger mask.

Tony Cole also apparently had posters of his own, but all I can find of them is the following: 

And no, Tumblr isn’t going weird, that is the only image I can find of one of his posters. I did, however, turn up a news article on him from 1977 from “The Independent Record from Helena, Montana” advertising a show he was going to do. 

As you can see the resembelence is there so I presume this is the same guy.

As an aside, you might realize this picture is totally and utterly unreadable. The place I found it had the plain text of the article, unfortunately, it was made by OCR copying the document and the results are an utter mess.

Some highlights include: 

To be able to make someone do what another person desires carl brln^a gleam .into the eyes of ambitious people. 

This impression oF hypnotism's power is one of the mast fallacious and dangerous, according to Cole, who when pressed will admit bis lull name is Tony Colo, a hypnotist, magician ami entertainer.

In between all the weird OCR errors, we can see a recurring theme that Tony Cole doesn’t like to use his first name, which means he is the Cole from the latter poster and would explain why he would make a stage character.

M PEOPLE L'NDEH HYPNOSIS won t do anything they wouldn't do normally, " ttie Canadian-born entertainer said In an Interview In Helena. 

Cole recalled ihnl a Groat Falls A A W manager had been hypnotized and was told he was Elvis Presley. The man began gyrating and singing, dulng spills and performing in the late-lfloOs style (bat endeared Presley lo the teen set. Cole said. He added that the shy A & W manager would not normally rarry 1 don't think a person has to put someone in an embarrassing situation or use anything smutty or not in clean family fun in order to entertain. 

I’m sure we can all agree that Elvis’ late-LfloOs style was by far his best style and one that really became his signature. And all of the teen girls were into Elvis for his pet bat. 

He tries, to Tony Cole, a hypnotist, magician and all-around entertainer correct any misconceptions about hypnotism, anri he hypnotizes willing members of the audience. 

He tries to himself? Is that some artsy way of saying he tries to be himself?

On his stage, people might shiver In Ihc arctic temperatures he has described or away In Lhc breeze like palm trees. 

And his chauffeur and helper, Wayne Adolph, emphatically added In his gravelly voice. "It's real."

I don’t know why that bit made me laugh so hard, but it really did. I’m not sure if it’s the fact the guy is called his “helper” or just the fact he decided to just randomly join the interview. 

MORE AND MORE PEOPLE are believing in Ihr authenticity of hypnosis, contends Cole, who has certificates from at least three schools of hypnotism and who has been licensed to leach hypnotism Physicians, dentists, psychiatrists, pollliuUnH, ministers, entertainers, teachers, lawyers, salesmen, atnletes and pilots are among those, who are studying or using hypnosis, Cole said. 

Some beneficial uses for which hypnosis Is being sLudled include easing childbirth, treating alcoholism, slopping smokers from Indulging and treating empbysemn and asthma victims to breathe properly. 

All of these arc medical uses or hypnosis and "the practitioner must by certified as a hypnolechuician and receive a doctor's prescribed order before he hypnotizes someone. Cole said. 

Yes, everyone remember to become certified as a hypnolechuician, that is a very important qualification to have. 

But ask him about himself and the answers dissolve in shrugs and evasiveness. He doesn't like to use his first name. 

Again, some more information that works with the idea that Cole had a few side characters he played sometimes. 

 He makes good money at hypnotism and his oilier entertainments as he travels across the country and into Canada. 

However, I do not wish to see Mr. Cole’s oilier entertainments.

"I know I have a talent but that talent should he scared. ]f pc0pte |,ave a latent and don't share it they re ripping it elf." 

And your guess is as good as mine on this last one. 

So there we have it, The Great Reveer, hypnotist and fiction all rolled into one oddly costumed package. I wish I could find more on this as there seems to be an interesting story in here, but unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any records I can find.

However, if this taught us anything, it’s that if I get bored of hypnosis, I can just turn this into a bad OCR blog. 

#hypnosis #hypnotism #stage hypnosis #posters #design #hypnotists #ocr

[softambrollins]

Recently I've been in the habit of checking Dean and Seth's horoscopes and going, wow. yes. this is totally them??? Now I can see Dean unironically digging horoscopes, and telling Seth, "Nah man, can't do that today. Sagittarius need to be careful today." And Seth just rolls his eyes, but he soon finds himself scrolling through Twitter Astrology accounts and thinking, "Oh... wow. That is so me. I need to stop being so *insert Gemini shenanigans*." And of course, Dean just watches him smugly.

i honestly don’t know anything about astrology.....unless it concerns shippy stuff and then i am shamelessly ALL ABOUT IT. dean would totally be into it too; he’s 100% willing to believe in pretty much anything. and seth is such a gemini, it’s almost too perfect?? and sooner or later he always gets caught up in dean’s weird idiosyncrasies. 

i also love reading those astrological compatibility website thingies when it concerns my otps and freaking out when shit just fits them so perfectly. i’ve totally already done this with them lol

#Anonymous #ask