#This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude Don’t Touch It!

[inthefallofasparrow]

If you have read more than one of these, choose the option that you think is most uncommon

#poll #literature

[bekah-reading]

69/75

5/5

A book I’ve been looking forward to all year came out on the 18th and since it was the fourth in a series I wanted to refresh my mind by rereading the 3rd.

I loved John Dies @ th End, and when I read its sequel This Book is Full of Spiders, Seriously Dude Don’t Touch It came out it was not a surprise that I loved that as well.

What the Hell Did I Just Read, when it came out it was said to be the book of the series. It was a bittersweet read for me, I loved it, it’s funny and weird and just perfect to me. So when I found out that it was getting a fourth I was excited.

I am happy that I was able to re-read and experience this again. The dark humour, the stupid juvenile humour, and the weird bits blend seamlessly together. John Cheese is forever my all time favourite guy in a book. I recommend this whole series to everyone.

#booklr #booktok #reading #2022 reading #horrorbooks #2022 reading challenge #reading challenge #what the hell did i just read #david wong #jason pargin #2022 books

[heisen-shrine]

So I thought of something fun yesterday while I was playing Magic with my best friend. I haven't played the game in a long time but the single match I played with him seriously sparked the idea:

What if the Lords of Resident Evil Village geeked out one night and played Magic the gathering? What would their decks be like? Why would they choose the colors they do and what sort of strategies would they use? Keep in mind this is all fan speculation and just done for fun. That being said, let's check this out!

Alcina

Colors: green, blue, and white

Pretty much to everyone's surprise she doesn't use vampires in her deck. However she has a shit load of low cost elves, just to hold you over until she can get her big stuff out. She uses green for the effects of trample, reach, and some lifelink. Enchantments are mostly for their power ups, add more mana, or to turn mana into temporary creatures.

Blue is the color of no, you're actually not gonna do that and Alcina exploits the ever loving fuck out of this. This woman has counters for days and will not hesitate to use them. She does it partly for trolling and partly to keep her opponent from attacking while she's getting her bigger monsters out on the field. She actually has a wall that if she blocks with it your creature is more or less frozen and you can't use it as long as it's on the field. As far as creatures go in blue she really likes drakes and Nagas.

As far as white, she has three uses for it: healing her points, making tokens, and power ups for her monsters. As far as monsters go in this regard, she loves flying creatures because unless you have reach or another flyer, you cant block them. This annoys ans frustrates the hell out of players.

Downside: snowballing effect. You'll see this a lot with the lords, actually with the exception of maybe one. If you can get her points down early in the game before she gets her bigger green monsters out, you should be all set. Flyers and reachers are are must have if you're gonna take her on, also don't be afraid to counter her counters to ensure victory. Good luck!

2. Donna

Colors: green and black

Donna is a little more humble of a player. Relatively new to the game, she likes her decks to be simple and effective. Of the lords she's probably the easiest to beat...but...if she let's Angie play, you better bend over and pray to whatever deity you believe in because this doll may thrash you into oblivion if you're not ready. We'll talk about her in a minute.

Black is the color of high risk and high reward. It's a color that surprised the others when she started using it, as she doesn't seem to be the ballsy type. As far effects go, she enjoys the abilities of death touch and lifelink. She'll also take any chance on trying to bring one of her precious creatures back from the dead. She is not afraid to sacrifice her own life points in order to do this, which may work in your favor.

As far green goes, she also likes elves but any creature with forest walk or swamp walk is also a good thing in her books. So if you're a fellow Green or black player, good luck with blocking. As far as enchantments go for green, power ups and square up cards for days. Donna will power up her beasts and make them fight one of your own just to reduce your numbers and will do so gladly.

Downside: it's not a necessarily powerful deck. While it can be hard to be block, her monsters tend to be on the weaker side of don't really hit hard...however...

*Angie

Colors: every. Single. One. Even colorless.

That's right: this doll is not afraid to use fucking eldrazis and will do so with the biggest smile on her face. She also collects slivers...for fun. Of course she does. Angie's deck is an absolute chaotic mess from the outside looking in. To her opponents it looks like a mess and sheer nonsense, but through sheer power of absolute will, Angie usually pulls through with a win and on top of that will take your best card for wasting her time. She has stolen cards from the other lords and will keep doing so because deep down she's a card hoarder and her switchboard is actually as big her deck. It's terrifying. She's able to change the color of most of her creatures to colorless and of course the creatures of her opponents. She also uses some artifact creatures just for flavor.

Downside: this is an absolute nightmare deck to go up against, however she's made one serious mistake: her mana. Angie has surprisingly low mana and will either mana screw or mana flood herself. As scary as it is, the deck is a snowballer and it will take a while to come to its full power.

3. Salvatore

Colors: blue, black, green

Is anyone really surprised that this dude is a blue player primarily? If you thought Alcina was a master troll when it comes to counters, oh hell no. Sal will happily give her a run for her money. Lots of counters, lots of freezing effects, and at least one card that gives him the ability to take two turns. He also likes the cards that allow him to see some cards in his deck and then allow him to shuffle if things aren't going favorably. As for creatures, he adores leviathans and krakens, but also loves the tough as nails merfolk.

Black, as we established before, is a high risk high reward color, but Sal primarily uses it for the creatures with death touch, lifelink, and flying thrown in for flavor. As for enchantments, expect a lot of life points lost and a lot of exiles/discarding. He will use these abilities without hesitation or remorse.

Green is the color of enormous and numerous and Sal lives up to that expectation. He has a few smaller animal creatures to hold his opponent off while he gets his bigger stuff out. Some of his creatures have lifelink and forest walk, and some others have reach. He powers up his creatures and floods his side of the field with token creatures. If you're not careful or fast working enough, you could be staring down a big army of beast tokens very quickly.

Downside: snowballing effect...by a long shot. This deck is big and it has big creatures in it. Sal tends to either mana screw or mana flood himself. In times like these, time is of the essence. If you have creatures with haste, you're actually at an advantage, good job. If you're gonna take a shot at Sal, make it count. Strike fast and strike hard before he gets the leviathans out.

4. Karl

Colors: all of them (used to be red primarily, then red blue and green)

I'm a little biased here admittedly because I love Karl and I want him to be great at something besides being a weapon for Miranda. That being said, he will not hesitate to wipe the floor with your ass if you come off as a snotty cock sucker. If you're new to the game he won't annihilate you as hard, but he'll still beat you. You just won't wind up in the negatives.

Karl took a look at Angie's deck and was like, well I'm gonna take this idea and tame it. And holy shit did it work.

Red is the color of aggression. It's a strike fast and strike hard color. It's the color of burn, and burn you shall indeed. All of his red creatures have haste, meaning he can hit you with them when they come out. While the other colors have summoning sickness, red for Karl absolutely does not. He doesn't have time for that mess. Enchantments will basically allow him to destroy your mana, steal it, or go after your points directly. He won't hesitate to do this. At all.

Blue is the no! Color. And damn does Karl say no a lot. He likes the sort of enchantments that allow him to see into his deck or his opponents hand so that way he knows what to do next. As far as creatures go, he exploits the ever loving fuck out of island walk, since almost everyone uses blue. This makes it very hard to block him. If you're a primary blue player good luck.

Green- green is for reachers and lifelink. It's also really good for getting mana out very quickly. He has a couple spiders with death touch and at least one huge basilisk. Enchantments are for getting more lands out, and strengthening his creatures.

White- White is the color of spam for Karl. He'll make an army of token creatures just to throw them at you until your deck no longer functions. He also has at least two flyers, and one really big wall for blocking. Enchantments are usually power ups, or healing his life points.

Black: black is mostly for death touch, and swamp walk. There's also some lifelink thrown in for flavor. He loves nightmare creatures, and even has some vampires to throw at lady super sized bitch (hey at least he's not above using them!). He's also the only lord to use a planeswalker: vraska, the scheming gorgon. And yes all the lords hate him for it.

Downside: mana. Getting mana on the field for him is actually pretty hard. If he starts with anything besides red, you may have a chance to take him down early. If you have any haste creatures or enchantments that offer haste, for God's sake use it. If you have any creatures with any of the mana walks, you're in luck, in that case he can't block you at all. It's a major weakness he didn't think of. Do not let his vraska get to ten or you're a dead man, quite literally.

So I hope you guys enjoyed that because I seriously thought that was fun. I may do one of these for Miranda or even for the Dimitrescu sisters if you really want me to. Have fun yall, and happy gaming!

#magic the gathering #resident evil 8 #the four lords #alcina dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #karl heisenberg

[ot3]

HEY I SENT THE ANON ABOU JDATE AND BRO. THERE ARE SEQUELS???????? ITS A SERIES?????????????????????? we have no option but to go read them i guess 😳😳😳

YES!!!! right now there are three books - the second one is ‘this book is full of spiders (seriously dude don’t touch it)’ and it’s definitely the best in the series. the post i reblogged was talking about a very touching john and dave moment from near the finale. the third book is ‘what the hell did i just read: a novel of cosmic horror’ and is the weakest in my opinion but its still fun and worth a read!

they all suffer from the same writing follies as the original jdate where he has trouble sticking a landing and sometimes shit’s just confusing, but the characters and jokes are still really good and fun! i’ve been meaning to reread when i get the chance.

#Anonymous

[thisblogisalsoboundforglory]

WHAT I HAVE BEEN READING LATELY

Kage Baker’s Company Series

In the Garden of Iden

Sky Coyote

Mendoza in Hollywood

The Graveyard Game

The Life of the World to Come

The Children of the Company

The Machine's Child

The Sons of Heaven

The Empress of Mars

Not Less than Gods

Nell Gwynne's On Land and At Sea

Black Projects, White Knights: The Company Dossiers

Gods and Pawns

In the Company of Thieves

Ø  Science Fiction written by a woman with Asperger’s. Wildly uneven. Main protagonist is female, but there are lots of POV characters, male and female.

Ø  Big ideas.

Ø  Lots of adventure, some action.

Ø   Small doses of humor.

 Neil Gaiman

Good Omens (with Sir Terry Pratchett)

Neverwhere

Stardust

American Gods

Anansi Boys

The Graveyard Book

The Ocean at the End of the Lane

Ø  Neil’s books are a road trip with Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell and a baggie full of sativa.

Ø  Ideas are incidental. The Milieu’s in charge.

Ø  Adventure happens whether you like it or not.

Ø   Cosmic humor. The joke’s on us.

 Connie Willis’s Oxford Time Travel Series

Firewatch

Doomsday Book

To Say Nothing of the Dog (and the novel that inspired it – Jerome K. Jerome’s Three Men in a Boat)

Blackout/All Clear

Assorted:

The Last of the Winnebagos

Ø  Connie loves her historical research. Blackout/All Clear actually lasts as long as the Blitz, but anything in the Oxford Time Travel series is worth reading. Doomsday Book reads like prophecy in retrospect.

Ø  One idea: Hi! This is the human condition! How fucking amazing is that?!?

Ø  Gut-punch adventure with extra consequences. Background action.

Ø   I’d have to say that Doomsday Book is the funniest book about the black death I’ve ever read, which isn’t saying much. To Say Nothing of the Dog is classic farce, though. Girl’s got range.

Neal Stephenson

Snow Crash (After the apocalypse, the world will be ruled by Home-Owners Associations. Be afraid.)

Cryptonomicon

Anathem

Seveneves

Ø  Neal writes big, undisciplined, unfocused books that keep unfolding in your mind for months after you’ve read them. He’s a very guy-type writer, in spite of a female protagonist or two. Seveneves, be warned, starts out brilliant and devolves into extreme meh.

Ø  Big. Fucking. Ideas.

Ø  Battles, crashes, fistfights, parachute jumps, nuclear powered motorcycles and extreme gardening action. Is there an MPAA acronym for that?

Ø   Humor dry enough to be garnished with two green olives on a stick.

  Christopher Moore

Pine Cove Series:

Practical Demonkeeping

The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror (Okay, yeah, Christmas. But Christmas with zombies, so that’s all right.)

Fluke (Not strictly Pine Cove, but in the same universe. Ever wonder why whales sing? They’re ordering Pastrami sandwiches. I’m not kidding.)

Death Merchant Chronicles:

A Dirty Job

Secondhand Souls (Best literary dogs this side of Jack London)

Coyote Blue (Kind of an outlier. Overlapping characters)

Shakespeare Series:

Fool

The Serpent of Venice

Shakespeare for Squirrels

Assorted:

Island of the Sequined Love Nun (Cargo cults with Pine Cove crossovers. I have a theory that the characters in this book are direct descendants of certain characters in Stephenson’s Cryptonomicon.)

Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal (So I have a favorite first-century wonder rabbi. Who doesn’t?)

Sacre Bleu

Noir

Ø  Not for the squeamish, the easily offended, or those who can’t lovingly embrace the fact that the human species is pretty much a bunch of idiots snatching at moments of grace.

Ø  No big ideas whatever. Barely any half-baked notions.

Ø  Enthusiastic geek adventure. Action as a last resort.

Ø   Nonstop funny from beginning to end.

 Ben Aaronovitch’s Rivers of London Series

Rivers of London

Moon Over Soho

Whispers Under Ground

Broken Homes

Foxglove Summer

The Hanging Tree

The Furthest Station

Lies Sleeping

The October Man

False Value

Tales From the Folly

Ø  Lean, self-deprecating police procedurals disguised as fantasy novels. Excellent writing.

Ø  These will not expand your mind. They might expand your Latin vocabulary.

Ø  Crisply described action, judiciously used. Whodunnit adventure. It’s all about good storytelling.

Ø  Generous servings of sly humor. Aaronovitch is a geek culture blueblood who drops so many inside jokes, there are websites devoted to indexing them.

  John Scalzi

Old Man’s War Series:

Old Man’s War

Questions for a Soldier

The Ghost Brigades

The Sagan Diary

The Last Colony

Zoe’s Tale

After the Coup

The Human Division

The End of All Things

Ø  Star Trek with realpolitik instead of optimism.

Ø  The Big Idea is that there’s nothing new under the sun. Nor over it.

Ø  Action-adventure final frontier saga with high stakes.

Ø  It’s funny when the characters are being funny, and precisely to the same degree that the character is funny.

Assorted:

The Dispatcher

Murder by Other Means

Redshirts (Star Trek, sideways, with occasional optimism)

Ø  Scalzi abandons (or skewers) his space-opera tendencies with these three little gems of speculative fiction. Scalzi’s gift is patience. He lets the scenario unfold like a striptease.

Ø  What-if thought experiments that jolt the brain like espresso shots.

Ø  Action/misadventure as necessary to accomplish the psychological special effects.

Ø  Redshirts is satire, so the humor is built-in, but it’s buried in the mix.

  David Wong/Jason Pargin

John Dies at the End

This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don’t Touch It

What the Hell Did I Just Read?

Ø  Pargin clearly starts his novels with a handful of arresting scenes and images, then looses the characters on an unsuspecting world to wander wither they will.

Ø  Ideas aren’t as big or obvious as Heinlein, but they are there to challenge all your assumptions in the same way that Heinlein’s were.

Ø  Classic action/adventure for anyone raised on Scooby-Doo.

Ø  Occasional gusts of humor in a climate that’s predominantly tongue-in-cheek.

 Jodi Taylor’s Chronicles of St. Mary’s Series

Just One Damned Thing After Another

The Very First Damned Thing

A Symphony of Echoes

When a Child is Born*

A Second Chance

Roman Holiday*

A Trail Through Time

Christmas Present*

No Time Like the Past

What Could Possible Go Wrong?

Ships and Stings and Wedding Rings*

Lies, Damned Lies and History

The Great St Mary’s Day Out*

My Name is Markham*

And the Rest is History

A Perfect Storm*

Christmas Past*

An Argumentation of Historians

The Battersea Barricades*

The Steam Pump Jump*

And Now for Something Completely Different*

Hope for the Best

When Did You Last See Your Father?*

Why Is Nothing Ever Simple*

Plan For The Worst

The Ordeal of the Haunted Room

Ø  The * denotes a short story or novella. Okay, try to imagine Indiana Jones as a smartassed redheaded woman with a time machine and a merry band of full contact historians. I love history, and I especially love history narrated by a woman who can kick T. Rex ass.

Ø  The ideas are toys, not themes. Soapy in spots.

Ø  Action! Adventure! More action! More adventure! Tea break. Action again!

Ø  Big, squishy dollops of snort-worthy stuff.

 Laurie R. King’s Mary Russell Series

The Beekeeper's Apprentice

A Monstrous Regiment of Women

A Letter of Mary

The Moor

Jerusalem

Justice Hall

The Game

Locked Rooms

The Language of Bees

The God of the Hive

Beekeeping for Beginners

Pirate King

Garment of Shadows

Dreaming Spies

The Marriage of Mary Russell

The Murder of Mary Russell

Mary Russell's War And Other Stories of Suspense

Island of the Mad

Riviera Gold

The Art of Detection (Strictly speaking, this is in the action!lesbian Detective Kate Martinelli series, but it crosses over to the Sherlock Holmes genre. If you’ve ever wondered how Holmes would deal with the transgendered, this is the book.)

Ø  Sherlock Holmes retires to Sussex, keeps bees, marries a nice Jewish girl who is smarter than he is and less than half his age and he’s mentored since she was fifteen in an extremely problematic power dynamic relationship that should repulse me but doesn’t, somehow, because this is the best Sherlock Holmes pastiche out there. Mary should have been a rabbi, but it is 1920, so she learns martial arts and becomes an international detective instead. Guest appearances by Conan Doyle, Kimball O’Hara, T.E. Lawrence, Cole Porter, and the Oxford Comma.

Ø  Nothing mind-expanding here, unless the levels of meta present in a fictional world that is about how the fictional world might not be as fictional as you thought come as a surprise to anyone in the era of tie-in books, films, tv, interactive social media and RPGs.

Ø  If these two geniuses can’t catch the bad guys with their dazzling brilliance, they will happily kick some ass. Adventure takes center stage and the action sequences are especially creative.

Ø  Amusement is afoot.

 Jasper Fforde’s Thursday Next Series

The Eyre Affair

Lost in a Good Book

The Well of Lost Plots

Something Rotten

First Among Sequels

One of Our Thursdays is Missing

The Woman Who Died a Lot

Ø  In a world where Librarians are revered and Shakespeare is more popular than the Beatles, someone has to facilitate the weekly anger-management sessions for the characters of Wuthering Heights, if only to keep them from killing each other before the novel actually ends. That someone is Thursday Next – Literature Cop.

Ø  Mind-bending enough to give Noam Chomsky material for another hundred years.

Ø  Adventure aplenty. Action? Even the punctuation will try to kill you.

Ø  This is a frolicsome look at humorous situations filled with funny people. Pretty much a full house in the laugh department.

 Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld Series/City Watch Arc

Guards! Guards!

Men at Arms

Feet of Clay

Jingo

The Fifth Elephant

Night Watch

Thud!

Snuff

Raising Steam

Ø  If this were a game of CLUE, the answer would be Niccolo Machiavelli in Narnia with a Monty Python. Everything you think you know about books with dragons and trolls and dwarves and wizards is expertly ripped to shreds and reassembled as social satire that can save your soul, even if it turns out you don’t really have one. Do not be fooled by the Tolkien chassis – there’s a Vonnegut-class engine at work.

Ø  Caution: Ideas in the Mirror Universe May be Larger Than They Appear

Ø  The City Watch arc has plenty of thrilling action sequences. Some other of the fifty-million Discworld novels have less. Every one of them is nonstop adventure. Most of the adventure, however, takes the form of characters desperately trying to avoid thrilling action sequences.

Ø  Funny? Even though I’ve read every book in the series at least ten times, I still have to make sure I have cold packs on hand in case I laugh so hard I rupture something.

[regeneratingdegenerate]

PEOPLE I’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER

ONE ( ALIAS / NAME ). Luke

TWO ( BIRTHDAY ).  June 28th

THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ). Cancer 

FOUR ( HEIGHT ). 5′10″

FIVE ( HOBBIES ). Writing, Gaming (Dead by Daylight & Predator Hunting Grounds mainly), Reading, Watching Movies

SIX ( FAVORITE COLOR ). Blue

SEVEN ( FAVORITE BOOKS ). ‘John Dies at the End’ & ‘This Book is Full of Spiders (Seriously Dude, Don’t Touch It)’ by Jason Pargin, under the pseudonym of David Wong. I have yet to read the third installment ‘What The Hell Did I Just Read: A Novel of Cosmic Horror’ but I’m sure it’ll be up there.

EIGHT ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ). Stabbing In The Dark by Ice Nine Kills

NINE ( LAST SHOW WATCHED ). Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, I’ve never seen past season 2 so I’ve been doing a rewatch. I’m currently 5 episodes into season 2.

TEN ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ). Spite. I hated the Deadpool run from 2008 - 2012 by D*niel W*y so much that I decided to write Deadpool better than him. 

ELEVEN ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ). One of Deadpool’s many monikers is the Regenerating Degenerate so voila. Canon url, baby.

Tagged By: @radishflower

Tagging: You, the one reading this.

#Recap Page (OOC) #I Don't Even Like Chimichangas All That Much (MEME)

[mysharona1987]

Falling in love with a house or a car or a pair of shoes, it was a dead end. You save your love for the things that can love you back.

David Wong, This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude. Don’t Touch it.

#books #literature #david wong #reading

[riderdrauggrim]

Day Tues Oct 20, 2020.

So! On uh. ... Other day... (they blur together, what is time, hrgnn) I made use of Toad Rock's repair shelter and put the bike up on the stand (with some help because Am Smol) to try and get the horrible slack out of the chain.

I'd known it was getting time for a new one before I left, but I'd always assumed the occasional clattering as the sprockets spun the chain around was my eternal foes; negligence and rust.

Hence me installing the CameleonOiler automatic chain oil dripper prior to departure: It meant I didn't need to risk lugging around a pressurized spray can, and the dripper would keep the chain tended for me.

Or so I thought.

That reads wrong. The CameleonOiler does exactly as advertised, drips a sticky spider web like dot of oil every three minutes and change, which keeps the chain happy. It wasn't until the reservoir ran out of the custom goop that the noise returned. I had only brought one jug of the oil for backup, and I was due those new tires, so I decided not to refill it and get everything gunky gross slimed for the poor shop guys at Riverside.

Once the tires were done, I refilled the tube; noise went away.

Friday night the noise came back with a vengeance, and the bike seemed to jerk and stutter when I accelerated. I was shifting through lower gears than I normally do, as I was both in the rain, at dusk, and on a twisty mountain pass I was unfamiliar with.

My natural instinct was "reservoir must be empty again, and all the rain washed whatever was on the chain away."

So. The other day I went to check the slack and it was so bad it was easily over 3". NOT good. Poking around a bit and the left swingarm end cap plate was loose. Okay, new theory, they'd cleaned and greased things when they replaced the tire... Perhaps the axle had jostled out of place when I hit a pothole or a rut or nearly wiped out on thay icy bridge. That would explain the loose plate, and the chain sag.

So it's on the center stand and I wrench things around and that's when I realize it ISN'T just stiff and rusty links. The Master Link and the two links beside it are outright LOOSE. Like, get them on the rear sprocket and then lift them off it a quarter inch LOOSE.

Which created a new problem.

If I tightened the chain slack while those links were on the sprocket, once they were off the sprocket they would relax, and that's where all the horrible sag was coming from. It also probably was what made the cringe worthy snapping sound, as they were suddenly drawn taut with tension from the opposing sprocket.

However, if I tightened the chain while the loose links were -between- the sprockets, it would cinch everything TOO tight once they revolved back onto the teeth.

Well. Shit.

On a whim, I decide, maybe if I can get a new chain, I can swap it myself.

Problem 1) The current chain has a rivet style master link, after a freak failure of a newly installed clip link years ago, we'd swapped to rivet style for security.

I do not have the tools to grind rivet heads off with me.

Problem 2) The place a half hour up the road DOES have a chain that fits. Except it had more links than I need.

And I do not have a chain breaker with me.

Solution 1) Said Honda place up the road, Main Jet Motorsports in Nelson, B.C. DOES have time this afternoon to pop the chain on for me. On one hand, saves me buying tools I don't need. And saves me from getting overwhelmed if I mess up. Let's do it.

And it's a good thing we did.

Service fellah comes to find me with an odd expression. I know what this means.

"What have I messed up and broken now," I sigh, because that's generally the case.

"No, it's just. Your wheel bearings are worn. Like. Badly worn. Like letting you leave with them in is a health and safety concern."

Wheeeeeeeeeee.

At the very least, it's not something that I would have known to look for, and it's apparently impossible to "tell" with weight on the wheel. They took me down and showed me how the wheel slightly wiggled side to side if you grabbed it and applied lateral pressure.

"And that's bad," I presumed. "What would happen if I kept going like that?"

Well, the wheel could straight up seize and stop spinning.

Okay! How do we fix it!

It became a good news/bad news afternoon.

Good news! We have replacement bearings in stock!

Bad news! We only have two of three.

Good news! The carrier bearing generally takes less wear than the other two, so we can probably leave that one in, just replace it asap when you get back.

Bad news! Your bearing seal is also shot, and we don't have any in stock.

Good news! It's not THAT horrible, we'll just grease it to heck and you get a new one when you get that third bearing swapped.

-sigh-

SO.

New chain, two out of three new bearings, and I'm good to go. Super thanks to Main Jet Motorsports!

-----

I also feel horrible because a woman came in who had bought a KTM 390 two years ago and had only put 500km on it because the damn KTMs are TOO FUCKING TALL and she wasn't confident when she had to stop and put a foot down.

That is the STORY OF MY LIFE, so of course I perked up. She'd done dirt bikes a bunch when she was younger. She liked riding. She just needed something she fit on.

So the... Six foot + sales guy and her are looking at the... Rebels?

What?

I'm like. Does he even understand her issue?

Sure, she can touch ground on the Rebels, but.

That's a totally different ride style?

Not AS Lazy-Boy recliner as a cruiser, but still. Nothing like the "feet pegs in line with body" of a dual sport, adventure, or sport.

If she has a dirt background, and wants to build up more confidence off road. You don't put her on a retro cruiser thingy.

I swear. All shops should have a sales person UNDER 5'4".

So I basically hijacked his sale.

And I feel bad for it.

But I talked up the CB500X, or even the CB500F like I used to have. I showed her how her posture on the Rebel would impact her spine if she wanted to off-road it, which she hadn't considered. Sure, it feels great in the show room, with both your feet on the floor. But go a few hours down a fire road, unable to stand and see what's ahead, the rake and trail all sluggish for quick corner input.

And it was one of those moments where I was ::aware I should just shut up:: but also felt like...

Responsibly motivated to make sure the lady got what she was actually looking for by pointing out pros and cons she maybe hadn't considered? As one short rider to another?

She seemed to REALLY be grateful for the advice and input.

The sales guy seemed annoyed as he glared at me and then growled he was gonna go photo copy something until I "was done talking".

I mean. Yah. I was all for Honda, and like, "these are both great machines, I recomend either, get what you feel comfortable on!" Like I wasn't at all like "no lady, what you want is to go somewhere else and buy a different brand".

But the dude didn't even get her copies of the full colour glossy product books, and I was kinda like...

Maybe he didn't take her seriously.

I mean most motorcycle makers and gear manufactures don't seem to give a shit about people under 5'4", there's barely any clothes that aren't too long or too tall. I've got to soften suspensions or put lowering links on my rides. I've got my pant cuffs rolled up three times like I borrowed my big brother's space suit.

Plus she's a GIRLLLL. Oh yah, companies make riding gear FOR GIRLSSS. It's pink, and shows off your hourglass figure, and has silver sequined butterflies. Or the Klim Jacket that had the cell phone pocket DIRECTLY over the left breast, so the device would get painfully mashed into the tissue if you tried to zip up. Almost as if they didn't actually have any girls on hand to trouble shoot the product.

HHHGGNNN.

Anyways. I hope that lady finds a nice Honda she likes and has fun on it.

I'm sorry to the sales dude for stepping on your toes.

And I love the heck out of the service guys for looking after me and catching that huge safety concern and getting me back on the road super quick.

Now I just need it to STOP RAINING.

[errorpaige]

14, 15, 21 & 30 for the asks thanks! 💜

14. Favourite book?

My favourite author is Sir Terry Pratchett and he wrote some of my absolute favourite books, including Thud! and Thief of Time both in the Discworld series. I also really enjoyed American Gods by Neil Gaiman and This Book is Full of Spiders (Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It) by David Wong.

15. Invisibility or ability to fly?

Oh, Invisibility, easy. I think being able to fly would be pretty sweet, especially since I'm a Can't Drive Lesbian, but I don't know how practical it would be in a city like Los Angeles. Probably wouldn't be long before I drew the attention of unsavory government types. Invisibility on the other hand would be super good and useful for me since I hate being observed. I'm not worried about the temptation of using it for evil since I would mostly use it for my own safety. The real question is if whether or not it's the lame kind of Invisibility that only makes you unseeable and not your clothes or equipment.

21. Tea or coffee?

Tea, usually, though I'm not against coffee. It just gives me the jitters if I drink too much of it.

30. Thoughts on second chances.

I think you should consider these on a case by case basis; I know lots of abusers and other toxic people manage to stick around their victims exploiting their grace and willingness to give second chances. That being said, lots of people mess up and deserve a little understanding and forgiveness when they recognize the error and are contrite. I certainly manage to gronk up a great deal of things, so I try to be gracious to others, even if I don't forget.

This was fun, I like these questions! Thanks for asking, friend!

#asks #antego-the-fool

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

[graffiti]

Day 12: Unrequited Love #twdgdrabblechallenge

Note: I know I’m writing about Mitch a lot but like... I can’t stop. 

AO3

---

“Dude, think you could get off your ass and help me for once?”

Mitch glances up from his comic, thumb marking his place, saying, “Nope.”

That gets him a middle finger. 

“This is your room, too, asshole.”

“My side is clean.”

“Bullshit,” Justin scoffs, eyeing the absolute mess occupying the floor, bed, and desk on Mitch’s side. “I’m not picking up your shit.”

“Then don’t,” Mitch rolls his eyes, returning to finish the page of his comic only for it to be ripped from his grip. “Hey!”

Justin tosses the comic on to the desk where it proceeds to slide off and onto the floor all while he begins scooping up a pile of Mitch’s dirty laundry. 

He then dumps that load right on top of him.

“Seriously?!” Mitch balls up a pair of jeans and chucks it as hard as he can at Justin’s head, smacking him in the side of his face. 

“I’m not fucking around, Mitch! Pick up your shit!”

Something’s off about him today. Usually, he’s just as messy as Mitch is, leaving dirty laundry on the floor, piling books up on his desk, leaving trinkets and weapons anywhere they land. Now he’s zigzagging around the room like a maniac trying to tidy up the place. 

Shit, maybe Ruby cornered him and threatened to break in and clean their room herself again. She’s a brave one to even consider that again, given that she stumbled across some dirty stuff last time. 

Justin better hide his nasty ass porn better this time because Mitch isn’t taking the fall for that one again. One lecture from a flustered Ruby would’ve been whatever, but now he’s got Marlon and some of the other guys asking for his “secret stash” and it’s fucking annoying. 

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Mitch watches Justin pull a box out from under his bed and dump the contents out. Yep, there’s the porn and some other books and boxes that he begins to sort through. 

“You want any of this?” Justin asks. “If not, I’m gonna toss it.”

“You’re gonna toss your mags?” 

“Well, not those,” Justin replies, snatching up the disgusting material and tucking them back in the box, “but these I will.” 

He hands him some books; two that are apart of some sci-fi series that looks pretty killer, one all about different insects, a bible, and a book on birds. 

“The bug one’s pretty cool,” Justin says. “There’s a whole chapter on spiders that can catch birds out of trees and eat them.”

Mitch wasn’t ever one for bugs. They’re gross and terrifying.

Birds, however, he does like. 

He keeps the two sci-fi novels and the bird book, tossing the bible and bug book back over. He pretends to flip through the bird book and admire the colored photos occupying the page, but his focus is mostly on the determination in Justin’s eyes. 

The more he stares, the more he realizes how clean he looks, which is weird. Ever since the walkers came and shit really went downhill, they were forced to bathe in the cold river and after a while, most of them said fuck it to being squeaky clean all the time. 

There is not a single speck of dirt on his sun-kissed face and the dark mess of curls covering his forehead and neck are shiny and fresh. He’s wearing new clothes, too, ones that he doesn’t recognize. 

It’s a good look for him. 

“So, why the sudden freakout?” Mitch tries to ask casually. “Ruby get a hold of you?”

Justing laughs, shaking his head. “Nah, not Ruby. Hey, uh-” he perks up, an almost timid look crossing over his features. “I got a question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“Okay,” Justin grins. “If you could make out with any of the girls here, who would you do?”

Mitch stiffens, nearly dropping the bird book.

“Uh, what?” 

“Any of the girls!” Justin says. “You can choose one to kiss and they have to kiss you back.”

“None of them,” he shrugs, answering honestly. 

“Dude, it’s the end of the fucking world. Now’s not the time to be picky.”

It’s not that he’s picky- well, maybe he is. Thinking about every girl that lives here at Ericson, not a single one jumps out to him as one he wants to kiss. 

“I’d rather fuck a walker.”

Laughter erupts from Justin, and through his chortle, he asks, “Mitch, dude, are you fucking serious? You’d rather fuck an actual dead, decaying walker than any of the girls?”

Yes, because he doesn’t want to kiss any of the girls. At all. 

“No, shithead, it’s gross.”

“Oh, but fucking a walker wouldn’t be?”

“No, that’d be gross, too.”

“C’mon, you can tell me,” Justin pries. “What about Brody? Or Erin, or Violet, or uh, Minnie?”

“Nope.”

“Dude.”

Shit, maybe he’s being too honest. 

That- fuck.

“Uhm, y’know what? Fine,” Mitch adds quickly, causing Justin to smirk. “Any girl?”

“Any girl.” 

The first name that comes to him is Minnie, but he can’t say that, so he says the second. 

“Brody.” 

Justin visibly relaxes, relieved by Mitch's answer. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, she’s hot.”

God fucking- he couldn’t have sounded any less enthusiastic. 

“Why are you even asking, anyway?” Mitch frowns, scratching nervously at his neck until a patch of redness blooms on the skin. 

Justin smiles excitedly, hopping up on the bed with him, far closer than Mitch would’ve liked. 

“What are you doing tonight?”

The question is simple but it still makes Mitch’s stomach churn in a bizarre way. 

“Uh, I don’t know. Nothing, I guess.”

“You don’t have any plans?”

Mitch’s pulse quickens. 

“Am I supposed to?” 

“No, I just- are you gonna be here?”

“Uh, yeah? Where else would I go to sleep?”

Justin considers this, stuttering out, “Right, no- yeah, right. That was a stupid question.” 

What the fuck is he saying? What is he asking? Why does he look so nervous? Why are Mitch’s palms beginning to sweat? 

“Do you think maybe you could... Uhm-”

Do you think I could maybe what?

“-go sleep somewhere else tonight?”

...What?

“What? Why?” 

“I need the room to myself tonight.”

“Why?” Mitch asks again. 

“I’m having company, okay? So, can you go sleep in Willy’s room tonight? I know he said he wanted to try being alone at night with his own room, which has been great for us not having to deal with him so much, but-”

“Wait, wait-” Mitch interrupts, having not really listened to Justin’s ramblings. “Who the fuck are you bringing here?”

A smile spreads across his full lips and in a sing-song voice, he answers, “Minnie.” 

Minnie? What the fuck- why the fuck is Minnie spending the night in their room? There’s no way in hell she agreed to something like that!

“Why?”

“I’m finally going for it, asshole! God, do I need to explain everything to you?” 

He’s going for it? A lump of panicked dread falls from his throat and soars down into his stomach. 

“I asked her to come here tonight to help me with a ‘secret project,’ right? So, when she gets here, the room’s gonna be super clean and I’m gonna light some candles and then- and then I’m gonna ask her to teach me to dance. Romantic, right?”

Mitch’s mouth goes dry.

"And we’ll be dancing and laughing and shit, and then I’ll go in for the kill and kiss her.”

“Kiss her?”

“Yeah, idiot, listen.” 

“You’re just gonna kiss her? Don’t you have to, like, ask?”

Justin snorts. “Dude, asking isn’t romantic.”

It’s not? 

Well, fuck, not that he knows anything about romance. It’s the one subject Mitch actively refuses to explore. 

Justin continues, “Then, after I give her the kiss of her life, I’ll ask her to be my girlfriend.”

He... he’s really thought this whole thing out. 

He’s had this infatuation with Minnie for weeks now, so he’s had plenty of time to think about. Justin makes it his number one priority to spend as much time with Minnie as he can, always shoving Sophie or Violet out of the way to hog all her attention, or ditching Mitch to do whatever she wanted him to, or constantly making fun of Louis so that Minnie would stop hanging around him. 

He actually went as far as to carve a bunch of nasty shit into Louis’ piano.

Yeah, because that’s the way to get someone’s attention and affection: be an asshole. Mitch may not know shit about this stuff, but somehow, he knows that’s not the right approach.

And Louis was so devastated about that, too...

"And for me to do all that,” Justin points at him, “you need to be gone tonight.” 

No.

No, no, no. 

No. 

It’s out before Mitch can even think, “Dumbass, she doesn’t even like you.” 

Fuck. 

Justin’s taken back by the harshness but returns it what a deep glare. 

“Fuck you, she does like me! She laughs at my jokes and she’s always touching my arm!”

That’s because Minnie’s a touchy person. She touches everyone. Mitch once had to snap at her for constantly trying to touch and fix his hair. 

“Uh-” Mitch panics. “Yeah, but everyone knows that she likes Louis.” 

It’s such a huge ass lie, holy shit, but it’s the first one to come across his mind. 

“Oh, fuck off,” Justin spits. “She does not!”

“Yes, she does, why do you think they’re always hanging out in the music room? Hell, they’re probably making out in there right now.” 

“Louis is the worst, though!”

“Apparently not since Minnie’s sucking face with him instead of you.” 

“Why are you being such an asshole?” Justin snaps, standing from the bed to glare down at him. “They aren’t together! We’d know if they were because Louis is an obnoxious idiot who can’t keep anything to himself.” 

“Y’know what? You’re right!” Mitch stands too, voice growing louder with every word, “we would know if they were together because Minnie’s also an attention whore and wouldn’t miss an opportunity-”

Justin shoves him, Mitch’s back hitting the top bunk of the bed, his head bouncing off the bar. Justin’s fists remain tangled in the collar, and he’s close, right up in Mitch’s face. 

"What’s your problem?” 

His problem? 

Fuck, he... he doesn’t even know! 

All he can focus on is how Justin’s nose is almost touching his. 

Mitch pushes him back hard enough for him to trip over a book and crash against the ground. 

“Ow! Fuck!” 

Mitch still, staring down at the wincing boy with wide eyes where he’s met with a glare. 

They don’t say anything, so Mitch bends down to grab the bird book and his bag. Without a word, Mitch quickly shoves some clothes into it and leaves, clutching the book against his chest, the pounding of his heart hot, rapid and deafening.  

Some of the others are walking around, and when he passes by the music room, he can hear Minnie singing and Louis’ playing. Someone- Violet, he thinks- makes a comment about the song, but Mitch doesn’t pay much attention. He considers joining them and warning Minnie about what she’s walking into tonight, but doesn’t. 

Let Justin make a fucking fool of himself. 

Fuck him, anyway. 

He’s...

Mitch turns down the hall right outside the music room and drops his bag. 

With his trusty pocket knife in hand, Mitch begins to carve.

JUSTIN FUCKED A WALKER

 He spends the rest of the afternoon making sure that no matter what hallway you’re in, this information is known. 

#twdgdrabblechallenge #twdg mitch #twdg justin #twdg willy #twdg louis #twdg brody #twdg violet #twdg minerva #twdg ruby

[smallmediumproblems]

Sic Transit

Summary: Jon wants to take a shortcut.

The excitement of the night’s activities was doing a decent job of keeping Jon awake. It also involved a lot more walking than he was used to. It occurred to him that he didn’t remember the last time he’d slept. He wasn’t even considering a full night’s sleep, that was well out of the realm of possibility. He’d struck an uneasy truce with the process, timing his work around when it might be most convenient for him to pass out at his desk for an indeterminate amount of time. His instinct was not to say anything now that sleep was catching up with him. When he found the tailors over an hour away, though, something broke inside him.

“We’re taking a detour,” he told the group. An odd look was passed around, but no one argued when he led them just a couple intersections away and started squinting around for what he’d been looking for. They should have been right on top of it, but were instead sandwiched between a closed segway rental shop and store pronouncing itself as ACME Water Slides. “There's sort of a tram system in this section. There should be cars somewhere? I don’t think it’s on a rail.”

“Like a funicular,” Nick suggested.

“Yes, exactly,” said Jon.

“Would this funicular happen to be ferret-based,” Nick asked very seriously.

“I literally cannot imagine how or why that w-” Jon started to say, stopping himself short with a sigh when Nick pointed towards the ceiling.

Two thick metal cables ran the length of the Arcade parallel to the hallway, criss-crossing at each junction like an enormous loom. As if on cue, something four-legged and furry and approximately the length of a VW bus bounded down one of the cables away from them, moving quickly but surprisingly quietly. Jon could just barely make out a vehicle cabin harnessed to its back.

“Of course,” said Jon, who was about ready to take his rock and go home right then and there. “At least it’s not spiders. What now?”

“We could try to lure one down,” said Morgan. She inspected the contents of her Joann’s bag thoughtfully. “Ferrets eat meat right?”

“Awww, come on,” said Static Man, leaping immediately to whatever conclusion she had reached. “I liked those ones.”

“I told you, they’re already going stale,” said Morgan. She pulled out what looked at first like a very large chew toy, but which Jon realized with horror was a human tibia covered in blunt, decorative spikes. As she did so, she jogged over to the nearest intersection to wave it at something she spotted in the distance. A massive ferret slowed to a stop in front of her, arching its back to sniff at the offering. After a brief appraisal, it slunk to the floor and wiggled expectantly.

“Thank you, Morgan,” Static Man commented with mock sincerity as they piled into the cabin. “Hey, we should get one of these.”

“I’ll look into it,” said Nick, and sounded like he meant it. “The food wouldn’t be cheap, but imagine the cuddles.”

The cabin was, not surprisingly at this point, bigger on the inside. They had to duck past the door, but the ceiling extended up several feet into the space the ferret should have been occupying. There was a booth with six cushy seats across from a screen of scrolling pink text.

“Uhh,” Nick hovered by the screen, poking it experimentally. The text was packed so incomprehensibly tightly that it was impossible to read while it was in motion. “You guys might want to get comfortable.”

“Here,” said Jon. He touched something that looked like a scroll bar on the side of the display, dragged it to a very precise point, and selected one of the items. The screen darkened to make way for an animation of some cartoon leaves, revealing a minimalist logo that read Birch & Co. Jon gave Nick a supportive pat on the shoulder before settling himself into the booth.

“Hey,” Static Man whispered loudly to Nick, “We should get one of those, too.”

Jon stifled a laugh as he relaxed back into his seat. “You’ve already got the food budget sorted. But I’d prefer we stay clear of any snuggle-related services.”

"You're not even in the same ballpark of how cuddly a giant ferret would be," Static Man reassured him.

The interior was cozy, in a touristy sort of way. It looked like someone had transplanted a pub booth into a ferris wheel compartment. There was a dizzying moment when the ferret wriggled back up onto its cables, inexplicably not rotating the cabin at all, but soon enough they were headed at a swift pace towards their final stop in the Arcade.

“I thought we were in for another rest stop,” said Morgan, peering out of the window. “Maybe hang out in a bookstore for a while. This is way better.”

Jon shuddered. “I really don’t want to see what kind of books this place has to offer.”

“Really?” Nick said, not hiding his surprise. “I figured you’d be kind of a bookworm.”

“In a general sense,” said Jon. “I’m not fond of titles with special effects. Have you heard of Jurgen Leitner?”

Nick tilted his head thoughtfully. “It sounds familiar. I’ve probably seen some of his stuff, but I wouldn’t recognize it.”

“Like the band Kiss,” Static Man added helpfully.

“He had a book collection,” said Jon, deciding to ignore this comparison. “It got loose several years ago, and its constituents have been making themselves a nuisance ever since.”

“Again, like Kiss,” said Static Man.

“You’ve-” Jon was about to say to Morgan, when he realized that she hadn’t actually told him about her encounter with a Leitner. Judging by the panicked look on her face, she also hadn’t told Nick or Static Man. “You’ve not heard of him, either, I take it.”

Morgan relaxed. “Doesn’t ring a bell,” she shrugged.

“Count yourselves lucky, then,” said Jon.

“I’m not so sure,” said Nick. That recognition on his face was resolving into a suspicious look that made Jon’s hair stand on end. Nick unsaddled his bag and started to rifle through it. “Could you identify something for me? I know we’re behind a statement, but I’m sure we could work out some-”

“Nicholas, what I want most in this world right now is a nap and a granola bar,” Jon said tersely. “Show me the book.”

Nick retrieved a slim brown paper bag closed at the top with painter's tape. It looked for all the world like he'd gotten a postcard from a gift shop. Inside was a travel brochure decorated with badly photoshopped pictures of planes and buses, with text that asked boldly "WHERE WILL YOU GO?" It took Jon a second to notice that the text was in Arabic. Judging by the lurid colors and the way the vehicles seemed to judder and shift, Jon guessed it was something to do with the Spiral. The side of the brochure was also taped shut. Nick made no motion to remove the restraints.

"Where did you get this?" asked Jon.

"The same place I got you," Nick said reluctantly. "I found it right next to the ritual that summoned you. I haven’t tried it yet, it’s… sort of a beta tester. Any good vendor has a few in the back. Most will cut you a deal if you’re willing to take a chance on one. They’re more dangerous, since what comes out the other end is purely theoretical, but potentially very valuable.”

The supposed Leitner seemed well secured, so Jon decided to stop and address this new detail of his situation.

“Are you saying you found me in a discount bin?” he asked.

Nick opened and closed his mouth, trying to find a way not to answer the question. “Technically, they are paying me.”

“Good lord,” Jon muttered.

“Wait, this wasn’t tested?” asked Morgan, “Nick, you said it was safe.”

“It is. He is,” Nick insisted tiredly. “The guy’s scared of spiders, for Christ’s sake.”

“You had no way of knowing,” Morgan exclaimed.

“Were you, like, not there when he lobotomized half a dozen swamp monsters?” said Static Man. He made an apologetic gesture to Jon. “No offense, dude.”

“No, that’s exactly what I mean,” said Jon. “You’re only putting yourself in danger dealing with these powers. Some of the others would have hurt you quite badly by now.”

“What’s this ‘others’? Are you dangerous, or not?” Nick drawled. He gave Morgan and Static Man a dissatisfied look. “I did plan for that. You two at least should know better.”

“This isn’t about me,” Jon started to argue.

“Then we’re having two different conversations,” Nick said sharply, cutting him off. “I trust the untested rituals exactly as much as I trust the tested ones, which is not at all. That works both ways. I can’t trust things like you until I’ve stared down their throat and gotten a good, long look at what makes them tick. I’m sure you think you’ve been very gracious this whole time. But you’re not the only one who’s pulling punches to get through this a little more comfortably. I can assure you, Archivist, that this would have been a very different experience for you if I’d wanted it to be.”

Jon caught the edge of the thoughts Nick was dancing around, and was in no mood to respect that privacy anymore. Nick’s very first statement had risen to the front of his mind again, the one he thought he’d had the decency not to touch. He unfolded a memory of heartbreak, of trust and hope that had been broken beyond all reason or repair. He could have pulled the whole thing from him like a stray thread from the hem of a jacket.

Instead, he awoke several minutes later in a darkened room.

“Heyyyy, discount bin,” said a shifting assortment of shapes at the edge of his vision. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Gbvfhnh,” said Jon. While this wasn’t what he’d intended to say, it conveyed vital information about how the inside of his skull was melting all over his brain.

“Cool, cool,” said the shapes. “FYI, we’re at the place. Doing the thing. And now we’re in the waiting room, cause it has niiiice comfy couches.”

“I was not aware that you had fingers,” Jon told the shapes, which sounded an awful lot like Static Man.

“Yeah, ‘fingers’ is kind of a strong word,” Static Man agreed. “What’s like, appendages, but for your appendages? Appendageages.”

“Digits,” Jon whimpered. The noise - any noise - made his blood pound distressingly, forcing his skull up against the other, more tender parts of his head. There was a distinct gray ache in his stomach that told him it was well past time he asked after that statement he was owed. He managed to move a hand up to his temples and started poking around to see if he could massage the pain away. “Wh… What happened?”

“Beats me, man. You guys had a psychic fight or something and you passed the fuck out,” Static Man failed to explain. “Nick said you were poking around in his head. That true?”

Jon let his hand settle over his eyes. “Yes. That was… An extremely poor decision.”

“...yeahhhh.”

Even if he’d been able to see Static Man’s face, it wasn’t likely that Jon could have read his expression. Judging from the length of the silence that followed, it was not a favorable one.

“Morgan was pissed,” Static Man spoke up again. “She thought you were dead for a second.”

“That’s kind of her to be concerned,” Jon muttered. “Where are they now?”

“Inside. They left me out here to guard the door, and our ride home.” A certain energy had drained from Static Man’s voice, as well as a good amount of volume.

Beyond him, Jon could hear faint sounds of nature. Water flowed over rocks, and something small rustled through foliage. Jon painstakingly adjusted to a sitting position and got a good look at their final stop. It didn’t look like a forest had invaded an expensive spa, so much as the two environments had grown up in tandem and arranged a business partnership along the way. Hardwood flooring snaked a path through beds of dark, loamy earth. Plants of varying size but uniformly good health spilled out over the dirt. It was hard to see the walls or the ceiling through the tree canopy, a problem that was not helped by the tastefully dimmed lighting.

Jon looked up to see Static Man lounging against a tree by the end of the bench (which was in fact very comfy) that had housed his head. He attempted an excruciatingly awkward smile.

“I hope you’re not still worried that I’ll run off,” said Jon.

“Honestly, dude, I don’t know what to worry about you,” Static Man commented. “You just attacked my best friend.”

“I am sorry about that, and I intend to tell him as much when he comes back,” said Jon. There was a tight sort of helplessness in his chest, and it trickled down into his gut as a deep, queasy feeling of disappointment. He’d had all the means in the world to get this right, and he had still managed to make himself hated and feared. Perhaps that was really all the Archivist was good for.

“Hey, you know what happens when I apologize?” Static Man replied, “After I attack someone?”

Jon stared at him hopefully.

“Usually, they’re still dead,” Static Man told him.

Jon glanced down again. Someone had laid his tape recorder discreetly on the floor, next to where the group’s belongings were piled at the head of the bench. A very small corn snake was observing him from atop it. It declined to skitter into the underbrush when they made eye contact. It also declined to put a good word in on his behalf.

“Would you believe I was scared?” he asked very quietly.

Static Man laughed. “That’s what you’re going for? You’re the scary one. That’s literally your whole thing.”

“Not really,” said Jon. “If anything, it’s my job to be scared. A passive observer to things that frighten and disturb. Everything else is rather ornamental.”

“That’s… Yeah, okay, that sucks,” Static Man said, shifting uncomfortably, “Still not getting why the hell you think it’s okay for you to act like this.”

“Because you’re good people, and it scared me to think of you getting hurt,” said Jon. “I’ve seen so many people die because of things like me, and the powers that made me what I am. Hearing him talk about it like it’s some kind of tool, another magic trick to add to his collection, I just… I panicked. No one encounters these forces without a price. The kind of people who go after them voluntarily tend to get someone else to pay on their behalf.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Static Man spat. “You don’t know a goddamn thing about Nick.”

“I know he’s not like that,” Jon shot back, “Which leaves the alternative: he has no idea what he���s getting into. There’s no coming back if he finds out the hard way.”

They both looked away sharply at the sound of the front door opening. Jon’s heart sank to see a familiar woman with a brown hemp apron and a face full of piercings taking in the interior with a polite, disinterested smile. She wandered to the empty front desk, and made a show of pretending to notice Jon and Static Man only as soon as she neared the benches.

“Am I interrupting something?” she asked, “Please. Don’t stop on my account.”

“What do you want?” Jon snapped at her. The pierced woman looked surprised, almost offended.

“Just taking a walk,” she said breezily. “I needed some time to think about our conversation. I thought maybe you did too. You’re about done here, right? Do you have a minute to circle back, rethink my offer?”

“I think I made it very clear that I’m not interested,” said Jon.

“I don’t think that’s what you said,” she told him. “You said, you made a deal with these people. And you implied pretty heavily that, when they’re gone, you’ll be free to go.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” said Jon. He leaned down to pick up the tape recorder before standing beside Static Man.

“I definitely wouldn’t warn you ahead of time,” said the pierced woman. “What I would do is wait for a dramatically appropriate moment to drop in and let you know that all hope is lost, and your friends are surely dead by now.”

An extremely sad mechanical noise came from the other end of the room. Morgan stood in the doorway to the rest of the store, clutching a bloody hunk of fabric to her shoulder with one hand, and her weaponized instrument in the other. The bottom half of the instrument was a splintered mess. She looked between the three of them. Her eyes settled on Static Man.

“Go,” she said hoarsely, “Get Nick.”

Static Man barreled past her into the room beyond with a roar like a passing semi truck. Morgan limped over to Jon, who reached out quickly to steady her.

“Guess he decided not to eat you,” she said.

“I am your ride home,” Jon pointed out. Morgan smiled.

“He’s pulled worse stunts,” she said. “I’m glad you’re not dead.”

“So I heard,” said Jon. He helped her onto the sofa to secure her makeshift bandage, and tried not to look too closely at the messy gouge that it was covering. “That’s better than I usually get.”

“Are you two finished yet?” said the pierced woman irritably. “I’ve got some murders to commit, and I’d like to get started.”

Morgan glanced over at her with an almost palpable disdain before returning her gaze to Jon. She stretched to hook a shopping bag with her foot from the pile next to the bench. “Think you can get this one? Just need to catch my breath.”

“You want his help?” said the pierced woman with a laugh. “Sorry to break it to you, but the only thing he’s well-equipped to hurt is himself.”

“That’s a bit harsh,” said Jon. “Speaking of hurting yourself, why don’t you tell me about some of your jewelry?”

The pierced woman winced, and gave him an annoyed look. “We both know that’s not going to work on me, Archivist.”

“Perhaps not in your own little nest,” Jon argued. He stretched the limits of his focus on her, drawing on the growing, insistent hunger that was tying his insides to knots. “You said yourself that this is neutral territory, Ms… Daria, that was it. You wanted to talk, Daria. Let’s talk. Let’s hear about your last love, before the spiders. The sweet taste of poison on your lips. The holes driven through your body, your mind, your very being, by small and loathsome creatures you called friends. Tell me, Daria, did the spiders ever fill that space inside you after they collected what was left? Or is metal all you have to show for it?”

“You’re only slowing the inevitable, Archivist,” Daria said quickly. She shook very slightly, as though trying and failing to get away.

“How dare you threaten me with longing for my home,” Jon continued, “When you still dream of the hive? A love fermented into acid so sharp and vile that you’ll never taste anything so strong again. Not til the day your own corpse begins to rot around your tongue.”

“Ugh, Jesus,” Morgan exclaimed quietly next to him, but the words weren’t coming from inside Jon anymore, and he could not turn to look at her face. Every part of him was enraptured by drawing out whatever dark memories would keep Daria at bay. A noise like a tuning fork began to ring out from somewhere near Morgan’s voice. He wouldn’t have to hold her much longer.

“Mine will come for me,” said Daria. Tears were streaming down her face, leaving deep, steaming gouges in her skin. “And they’ll come for you, too. You’ve lost already. It doesn’t matter what you do to me.”

“Oh, I didn’t think it would,” Jon agreed, “But I’m pretty sure it’ll make me feel better to watch.”

Unfortunately, when Morgan cleaved Daria’s head from her shoulders with a red-hot violin bow, Jon felt no such thing.

#tma #the magnus archives #fanfiction #hiiiii guuuuuys #if anyone's still following this I promise you won't have to wait a year for the next update #work has calmed down #@thestudyofbasements #*eyes emoji* #I heard that comment #and I very much appreciated it

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #263

laptop is still broken, nvm. :’)

Do you have a favorite song by The Cure? "Sweet Soul Sister." (': Are there things you've never told for fear that others would judge you? Yep. Can sex ever be casual? I personally don't support it, but ultimately, so long it's consensual, protected, and both parties understand what's going on, you do you. Would you like to go on television to receive a make-over? Not on TV, no. It'd be awesome to see myself after a professional makeup, but I ain't going on TV to show my ugly face. What will no one ever see you do? Smoking. Are you quick to anger? Rarely. Are you slow to forgive? Not really. Usually. What do you need help with? Being an adult, lmao. Do you take the easy way out of things? More often than I'd like... What is your favorite fabric to wear? *shrugs* I don't pay attention to the fabric I wear, really. Do you still make a wish when you blow out your birthday candles? C'mon dude, you've got to! I don't believe in wishes increasing your odds of anything, but it's a must anyway! Do you look for four leaf clovers? Just casually when I'm walking or sitting outside. What are you the guardian of? My pets! Are you for or against censoring child pornography? I've seen many stupid questions in surveys. But this is the absolute dumbest. What the fuck is wrong with you. Are naked child images in paintings more acceptable than photographs of naked children? GENERALLY, yes, but it really depends on the artistic portrayal. None should be sexualized. Now that we can create such lifelike digital images, do you think it should be allowed for digital child pornography to exist (as in there were no children involved in the porn, it is all digitally made, the kids aren't real, they just look real)? Absofuckinglutely not. The concept is absolutely repulsive. Enough with these fucking questions. Do you like Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy better? Wheel of Fortune, ig. Jeopardy is pretty boring to me. What is your favorite tarot deck? I don’t know enough about tarots to comment. How do you feel about Wicca and Paganism? IT'S SUPER SUPER INTERESTING AND COOL AND I LOVE LEARNING ABOUT IT!!!! I relate most to Neo-Paganism anyway, so I obviously don't mind them. Wicca especially is a very, very misconstrued religion that has just been horribly abused by the media. Do you believe that people who practise the above religions are able to accomplish magic? No, I don't. If you were given the opportunity to lead a creative writing program for a small group of students in a high school with a low budget in generally poor neighborhood, would you do it? No, but only because I could never been a teacher. Sounds fun otherwise. Should high school cafeterias stop serving twinkies and other fatty foods? BIIIIITCH whose HS sells Twinkies????? I need to know?????? Anyway, no, but I believe there must be mostly actually nutritional options. Let kids have the chance to have a little snack during a boring 'ole school day. What band is so romantic that anyone who listens to them must be romantic at heart? BOY Josh Groban. Have your gods and idols let you down? The Christian god did. What do you waste? Whew... time... time. When was the last time that you were neither going to school or working for a month or more? Currently. Ugh. What is your light at the end of the tunnel? The potential of a beautiful future. Speaking of the light, is the light that people see when they die the random firing of electrons or is it something more? Good question. I lean towards it being a natural phenomenon as everything shuts down, BUT I find the reincarnation/birth canal theory to be quite interesting. I don't really believe it, but hey, who the hell am I to decide if it is or not. If you were going to have a mural painted in your bed room what would you want it to be of? A scene of meerkats probably. Is sex more about fulfilling a need or giving yourself? Giving yourself. Do you like your belly? FUCK NO. Do you think more or act more? Think, sadly. Should there be a mandatory retirement age? Of course not. You work all you want boo. What's the craziest thing you've ever done on impulse that worked out well? This is gonna sound... very bad, but my suicide attempt. It made things abundantly clear I needed serious help. It led to my partial hospitalization program. Do you have any exercise tapes or DVDs? No but OH MY GOD this made me remember my lil sister used to a Barbie one that we followed lmaoooo. Does the sound of crickets bother you? No, I quite enjoy it actually. Is the sound of a fan on at night soothing? Yessss. How do you feel you will likely die? I really don't know, but probably cancer-related. Recent events have made it abundantly clear it does in fact run in our family, and genetic testing because of Mom's cancer revealed that at least through her, my sisters and I are susceptible to pancreatic, breast, and ovarian cancer. Once this virus passes over, we're all getting tested for free to get an understanding of what hell Dad gave us lmao. Have you ever been slapped in the face? No. How about punched? Yeesh, no. That was something unique about you as a child? I was CRAZY about dinos for the average little girl. Have you ever come up with a memorable quote? Not really. What is something interesting about where you live? The town is like, really, really old. Downtown looks right out of an old movie. Were you breastfed as a baby? Yeah. If you’ve lost your virginity, what was your first time like? I don't remember it because it didn't really register what we were doing was sex. I still don't know today if you could call it sex since it was really dry humping through thin clothes, but it sounds close enough. What do you think about masturbation? You do you boo. Is it sometimes better than the real thing? I don't think so, though I only had a brief episode where I did it when I was put on a new birth control that made my hormones like so, so far beyond control. I stopped that shit sooo fast. I got almost nothing out of it, honestly. Intimacy is a two-person job for me. Who do you think about most? Jason, whether I want to or not. Favorite way to pamper yourself? Go to bed early lol. What's your most expensive piece of clothing? I don't have a clue. I don't really have expensive stuff. What was your last big achievement? Ugh... I'm not the person to ask. I haven't made any big ones even semi-recently. Have you ever had a "false alarm" moment, what was it about? Oh sure. The first time that comes to mind was when I thought Venus was dying once when she had a series of horrible coughing/gagging fits a long time ago. We took her to the vet with the risk of a respiratory infection, but she was clear, thankfully. I think she had early signs, though. Do you know how to ride a bike? Ye. If you were in the hospital who are the two people you'd want by your side? Mom of course, and it'd be nice if Sara was there if she was at all capable of that, but I'm fine w/ just Mom. If you could ever take a street sign, what sign do you want? Well, I wouldn't, but probably "stop" bc that applies to a lot in my life, lmao. Have you ever not returned something you borrowed and if so what was it? I don't think so? When you pack your lunch, what's your favorite packed lunch? Usually just a good 'ole pb&j. :') What was the one most important thing you learned from your parents? Take care of your goddamn relationship. Talk shit out instead of yelling. Work together. Never neglect the reason you're with each other. Have you done something you worry could come back to haunt you, what? No, because I don't believe in karma. If you had to build a small ark, what 7 animals would you save? Those with the biggest ecological impact, like bees and spiders, for example. I wouldn't be very happy with all my choices while all other animals perished, but you've gotta think of what comes next. Out of just selfishness I'd obviously have to spare a spot for meerkats, aha. They'd help with the bug control, though! I don't know about the other four, though; I'd have to think real hard on 'em. What is something your parents love that you actually love too? Classic rock and metal. Has anyone ever said "I love you" and you couldn't say it back? I firmly remember this is how I ended that childish shit with Joel. He said it and I couldn't. Have you ever ridden a camel? No. What's been the hardest loss you've had to take? Jason. What emotion is your least favorite and the one you are not in touch with? Fear, of course. No one likes being afraid. I'm not all that in touch with greed at all. Do you think facial moles or freckles are cute? I don’t mind 'em. Sometimes they're super-duper cute. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don't trust strangers for shit. If you're searching for a relationship, where is your go-to place to look? I don't really "look" anywhere. What book have you read multiple times? I lost count of how many times I've read Meerkat Manor: Flower of the Kalahari. Granted, in subsequent reads, I would skip over the HUGE tangent chunks that were entirely unrelated to meerkats. I seriously remember one long-ass section was like a goddamn essay on why smaller animals tend to have unnaturally large testicles like I don't fucking care talk about Flower again. I think I only decided to read it in full two times, but maybe not even that. Do you keep a budget? I don't have the income to do so. Have you ever test driven a car you knew you weren't going to buy? No, never test-drove anything. What do you have a hard time visualizing? There's a number of things, but this one thing is weird shit: I can't picture my old therapist. Even when I saw her every month, I could almost NEVER visualize her in my head. She's a fucking cryptid or something, paranormal shenanigans is going on here. She's the only person I know where I have that problem. What makes you feel uncomfortable in group settings? I worry I'll make myself look stupid in front of everyone. What was your worst date ever? I don't feel like I've really had a bad one. I've had one that did nooooot go according to plan and I know the average girl would've been annoyed, but I'm actually an understanding human being who found the adventure fun in the end. Basically a flat tire, a sketchy tire place, and a lot of walking happened lmao. Tyler felt fucking awful, felt bad for him. Have you ever gotten in a bidding war on Ebay, if so for what item? HAHA yeah, though it was technically Mom, but she had me keep an eye on it. I remember Parasite Eve took some battling to get. I think maybe a Legend of Spyro game, too? Are you supportive of your friends even if you don't agree with them? So long it's not literally insane or stupid, usually. It really does depend. What did you think was stupid until you tried it? Hm. I'm not sure. What subject do you and your parents never see eye to eye on? Religion. I keep most of my beliefs to myself now. Where do you see yourself in 1 year's time? Honestly, I don't want to ponder and picture this. What is your favorite type of seafood? I only like shrimp. What triggers your inner shopaholic? HA, do tattoos count? See cool ones, and then I'm planning (more than only always...) tons of new ones I want and will just be DYING (ALSO more than always lakdjfwe) to go to the parlor. What public figure do you disagree with the most? I really can't say considering I'm just not educated enough here. What is your opinion on rats as pets? They are absolutely wonderful! Smart, sweet, and very clean despite their stigma. I've had quite a few. What is something you're afraid to try? Sky diving, the Tower of Terror ride. ;___; That kinda stuff. What song makes you dance uncontrollably? None. Do you like nachos, if so what topping is a MUST have? Cheese is all I really need for nachos. Do you have any subscriptions? Yes, to Adobe Creative Cloud. Which is better, Mario or Sonic? Mario games are cute, Sonic's make me cringe - I've watched enough Game Grumps to know lmao. I hate hate hate cringe culture, like let people enjoy whatever, but I absolutely cannot stop my cringe reaction to some shit. I don't judge the people that enjoy whatever it is, though. THAT pisses me off. Who is the most creative person you know? I've known Sara and Connie much too long to not say them. They have such vast imaginations. Besides a pickle, what is your favorite thing pickled? I've actually never tried anything pickled, I think... no wait. Aren't jalapenos? Well there, jalapenos. What did you do for your 21st birthday? If not, 21 what are your plans? I had my normal therapy sessions in the mental hospital lmfao. It's unfortunate, but I do have fond memories of the day. Everyone was so damn sweet, and the friend I made there even got in touch with one of the lunch ladies, who literally went to go buy me a slice of cake. She and the other employees in the kitchen brought it out at dinner, and everyone sang happy birthday. I think I remember tearing up just because it was so goddamn sweet, but also bittersweet in that I was in a fucking mental institution for my BIGGEST birthday. When I got out, Colleen bought me a red velvet cake to "make up for it," ha ha. I miss her every now and then alsdkjf;wae. Are you a role model for anyone in your life? Oh, I doubt it. Do you think you need to slow down and enjoy life more? I don't need to go any fucking slower in my life. Can you impersonate anyone famous? I don't believe so. Never really tried anyone. What is your favorite salty snack? Spicy Cheetos mmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What is your favorite restaurant? Olive Garden for sit-down, Sonic for fast food. Have you ever been in a play for school? In elementary school. I never had a big roll, though. Do you wish you had more friends? Very much. What is the main character’s name in the book you’re reading? Aunt Lydia. Which famous author would you like to meet? I'm not particularly interested in any. Which artist would you like to meet? Hey hey hey. Mark's brother is a comic artist. Meet him, one step closer to meeting God Himself. (ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง Which singer would you like to meet? OZZY sobs What celebrity do you have a crush on? Anyone who's even heard about a hint of my Markiplier obsession knows I would fuck him into oblivion. When you were in middle school, were you in love with someone you never talked to? No, I didn't romantically love anyone. Do you believe that there is an unseen spirit realm? I do. Martini, margarita, or sangria? YO STOP I'm weak with these things. I can't pick. Do you feel you are extremely gifted but no one appreciates you? No. I honestly feel like people have more faith in what I'm capable of than deserved. What Lisa Frank character is your favourite? The angel cat, probably. Or tiger. Do you know how to use Braille? No. When you use stairs, do you usually hold the rail? Currently, I have to because of my muscle atrophy. I need help to stay steady. Have you ever worn a veil? No. Have you ever planted a tree? We actually did plant an apple tree in our front yard at my childhood home. Never grew much. Have you ever made anything with clay? A number of things from art classes. Has today been a good day? No, honestly. Have you ever fed a horse hay? Yes. Are you more likely to text "Okay", "OK" or just "K"? "'Okay.' The other two are restricted for when I am in a mood and want someone to know I am in a mood." <<<< HA HA SAME. Do you like the taste of lime? Sure. Have you ever seen a mime (in real life)? Not to my recollection. Have you ever seen a deer (in real life)? Plenty of times; whitetails are common here. Right now, what can you hear? "Game Over" by Falling In Reverse. Have you ever seen a bear (in real life)? In the zoo, yes. I think there's a possibility I have in the wild, but only from a distance? Have you ever eaten glue? No. Do you tend to buy clothes used or new? New. If you have Netflix, how many items are in your queue? N/A

#survey #quiz #questions

[sortofanobsession]

Charles Darwin nodded and smiled a knowing smile (9-1-1 Buddie)

Author’s Note: Unbeta'd, A chapter 2 is planned. Title from: “John, possessing a genetic defect that makes him walk toward danger, strode down toward where it looked like some cops were trying to set up a perimeter around the chaos. Somewhere, Charles Darwin nodded and smiled a knowing smile.” ― David Wong, This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don’t Touch It Because that is just so Buck...

Sequel to ‘Now when do I start feel again?’ but can be read as a standalone/oneshot

Tag Requests & Prompts are Open

Tag list: diazbuckleysworld

AO3

Word count: 3k

Summary:  An explosion on a call lands both Buck and Eddie in the hospital. Everyone is worried about everyone.

Chapter 1: A genetic defect that makes him walk towards danger

Evan Buckley finally felt his life was getting back to some semblance of normalcy. He’d been back with the 118 for some time. He was back on calls for most of it, but more importantly he had his family back. He honestly had thought it would take longer than it did, but his team was talking to him and he felt like someone had his back again. He wasn’t alone. Buck could finally breathe again.

As Buck walked up the stairs at the start of his shift he couldn’t help but smile. He was home. Every single day he got to walk into the station after everything that had happened felt more and more like home than his actual apartment did. His first full shift back and on calls had been tough, a literal bruise to the face, but it had led into some of the best days of his life. He’d spent most of his time off with Eddie and Christopher. If he wasn’t with one, or both of them, he was with Maddie and Chim, the latter pair loving to give him a hard time about the former. So as Buck moved into the common area, smiling at his family, he felt a calm wash over him. He would never take this place for granted again. He wouldn’t let himself. He’d nearly lost it all too many times to let that happen. He was snapped out of his thoughts by a warm hand on his shoulder. A touch he’d come to appreciate beyond almost anything he knew possible. He leaned into the touch.

“Morning Bobby,” Buck smiled at his father figure.

“Morning Buck,” Bobby nodded, giving Buck’s shoulder a squeeze before letting go. “You hungry?”

“Always.” Buck nodded.

Bobby chuckled, not surprised by the younger man’s response. “Then lets get cooking.” They both headed towards the kitchen. Buck said hi to Hen and Chim as he went and started prepping the veggies for omelets. Bobby finished prepping the pan and eggs, all while keeping an eye on Buck. He couldn’t stop glancing at Buck. Bobby was glad to have the youngest firefighter’s help, but he knew the knife was sharp enough to do a lot of damage with a single slip. His concern lessened somewhat, at the seer level of concentration the younger man seemed to put into the task. Buck was clearly trying to be careful to not knick his fingers with the blade as he chopped peppers. Bobby wanted Buck to know he had faith in him, especially after what happened with the lawsuit. He was grateful to get the chance to put it all behind them. He was proud of the kid and he’d do everything he could to keep an eye on him, to keep him safe and make sure he made it home at the end of the day. Bobby knew there were no guarantees in life, especially in their line of work, but he’d damn well try. Buck had been there through some of the worst days in Bobby’s life since either of them started at the 118. He’d seen Buck go through life changing and nearly lost him more times than Bobby thought his heart could handle, but the kid had walked in with a smile. The fact Evan Buckley had survived a bombing that nearly took his leg, a pulmonary embolism, and a tsunami, yet somehow still managed to smile was beyond Bobby’s comprehension. Buck managed to drag himself through hell, most of which Bobby will always feel guilty about. Bobby would easily admit that he was beyond grateful to have Buck back with them. He would never stop worrying about Buck, but having the chance to stand shoulder to shoulder with the kid again, be it in the kitchen or in the field, was something Bobby wouldn’t trade for anything. Bobby was determined to be there for the kid. Bobby grinned as he watched the younger man survey the work he’d just finished, a variety of finely chopped vegetable ready to be added to the pan. “Nicely done,” Bobby nodded when Buck looked over at him. The smile his words received was bright enough to light up the room. Bobby set to work making the first omelet. Buck watching closely and handing Bobby whatever he needed. They didn’t notice they’d gained an audience as they worked quietly side by side.

Eddie Diaz smiled as he crossed the space and leaned against the kitchen island. He took a moment at first to just appreciate the figure that was his boyfriend as the younger man focused on helping his father figure make breakfast for the crew. He didn’t want to interrupt the quiet focus the two seemed to have. He watched as Buck held a plate out for Bobby to slide a freshly made omelet on. The smile on the young firefighter’s face as he turned to set the plate on the counter warmed Eddie to the core. The smile grew when he noticed Eddie.  “Morning,” Eddie smiled back at him.

“Morning,” Buck nodded before leaning as far as he could over the island to catch Eddie’s lips in a quick kiss, cheeks tinting red at the wolf whistles and teasing from the rest of the crew. Eddie shook his head and laughed as Buck turned back to helping Bobby.

“Morning lover boy,” Hen grinned as she walked over and swiped the plated omelet, nudging Eddie’s shoulder as she did. Eddie ducked his head slightly, the tips of his ears pink.

“Morning Hen, how’s the family?” Eddie asked when he had finally managed to collect himself.

“Doing fine,” Hen nodded. “How’s the kid?”

“Chris is good.” Eddie smiled as he mentioned his son.

“Still having nightmares?” Hen asked.

“Not nearly as much.” Eddie answered, glancing up at Buck as he did. He could see the muscles in the younger man’s shoulders tense slightly at the question. Eddie knew both Chris and Buck still had nightmares about the tsunami. Being able to check on each other was helping them both, but Buck and Eddie both knew healing from what happened was a marathon, not a sprint. It would take however long it needed. Bobby must have noticed the change in the man next to him.

“You alright, kid?” Bobby asked as he plated another omelet. He took the plate from Buck and set it on the counter. Buck nodded but didn’t say anything.

Hen gave Eddie an apologetic smile, nudged his shoulders, and grabbed the second omelet to bring to Chim at the table. Eddie nodded, a sad smile on his face. He moved around the counter and wrapped his arms around Buck. He didn’t care if the rest of the crew gave him a hard time. He knew Buck needed it, and that was what mattered.

Buck helped Bobby finish the rest of the omelets, Eddie lending a hand when needed. Eddie felt the knot in his stomach loosen as a smile slowly returned to Buck’s face. Having Bobby and Eddie so close helped calm the memories brought up by Hen’s question. Buck knew Hen hadn’t meant to upset him. She was worried about Christopher. He knew Hen loved the boy as much as the entire team did. The boy was part of the 118 family. Knowing why she asked helped calm him. They managed to keep the conversation light during breakfast, Buck slowly joining in. Eddie gave Buck’s knee an encouraging squeeze.

Breakfast dishes were partially cleaned when the alarms went off to signify the first call for the Buck’s shift. The first call was assistance with a welfare check that went shockingly smooth. The rest of the morning seemed quiet, until just before lunch. The alarms went off and the team sprung into action. Bobby briefed the team about a fire that started in the utility room of a shop that was being remodeled. The fire had spread into a storage facility next door. They were the second crew on scene, and jumped right into the fray. The main goal was to make sure everyone was out of the storage facility and then save as much of the facility as possible.

Eddie and Buck went in to sweep the facility, starting at the top. The fire suppression system made their jobs relatively easy. Most of the people had fled when the fire doors started to swing closed and the sprinklers came on. They moved to the second floor and found the same thing, closed fire doors and active sprinklers. The ground floor proved to be an issue. For some reason the sprinkler system wasn’t working, only half the fire doors seemed to work, and the people were just plain stubborn. There weren’t many people around but three individuals decided their belongings were more important than their lives. Buck radio’d it in and was told to do the best they can. Eddie went to see about manually closing the fire doors. Buck tried to negotiate with the people refusing to leave. One man left when Eddie managed to free the blocked fire door near the man’s storage unit. That left one man for each firefighter to deal with, seemed easy enough. They’d drag them out of there kicking and screaming if they needed to. Or at least that was the plan, they were very wrong.

Turns out the two men had taken the storage facilities rules as more of suggestions, especially the rule about no flammable chemicals were to be  kept in the facility. By the time the two firefighters discovered it and radio’d it in they had just enough time to drag the men behind the nearest fire door and hope for the best. The best turned out to be pretty damn shitty. The resulting blast mangled the doors and engulfed several units. The rest of the call was pure chaos.

The first thing Buck noticed when he came to was beeping. It took him a second to realize the beeping was from his own PASS unit. He ignored the pain in his body as he reached up to shake the damn thing and stop the beeping. He heard the radio next, Bobby shouting for them to check in, to say anything. Buck grit his teeth, ignored the pain in his arm and ribs as he reached for his radio. Gripping the button was agony but he managed.

“We got two civilians down.” Buck coughed out, the smoke burning his lungs, eyes and throat.

“Buck!” Bobby shouted through the radio. “Just hang on we’re working on getting to you. Any sign of Eddie?”

“I-“ Buck swiped at his eyes and struggled to get to his feet, cradling his injured arm and tried to look through the smoke. He scrambled forward when he saw Eddie half pinned under one of the fire doors. “Eddie!” Buck ignored the screaming pain in his side and put all he had into moving the door. When the door finally moved, he made a quick check of Eddie and his gear. Eddie still had a pulse. Buck thanked every power that was possibly out there that his gear still seemed to be working. His helmet was askew and his mask twisted. He righted Eddie’s mask before checking on the civilians. His lungs burning as he tied off one man’s bleeding arm. “Eddie has-,” Buck coughed. “Has a pulse, - unresponsive.” Buck dropped to his knees coughing, his chest burning. “Just-hang-on.” Then the world went black.

Eddie woke up to the sound of beeping. He hurt like hell, but he knew that was a good thing. Pain meant he was alive. He struggled to open his eyes. He hadn’t expected Bobby to be the first person he sees.

“Cap?” Eddie’s voice felt like gravel in his throat.

Bobby’s head shot up and he leaned forward. “Eddie, you’re awake.” Bobby reached over to page the nurse, telling her Eddie was awake.

“What-,” Eddie cleared his throat. Thankful when Bobby held out a glass of water for him.

“What happened?” Bobby finished for him. Eddie nodded. “What is the last thing you remember?” Bobby asked.

“Buck and I, we cleared the top floors, there were a few idiots.” Eddie struggled to remember. “They put up a fight.”

“So you don’t remember the explosion?” Bobby asked.

“N-no,” Eddie shook his head before looking around. “Buck. Where’s Buck?” The heart monitor started beeping faster.

“Eddie, you need to calm down.” Bobby grabbed Eddie’s shoulders, as a nurse came in.

“Mr. Diaz, you need to calm down. You need to breathe,” The nurse spoke, “If you don’t we will have to sedate you.”

“Eddie,” Bobby spoke, using his Captain tone. “Calm down. I will tell you everything, but you wont remember anything if they have to sedate you. Take a breath.”

Eddie nodded and forced himself to breathe. He called on all the training he could remember to try and calm his breathing.

“Thank you, Captain Nash.” The nurse smiled. Once Eddie seemed to calm some, she recorded his vitals. “The doctor should be in soon.” She checked the IV drip before leaving.

“Bobby, where’s Buck?” Eddie asked, trying to remain calm.

“Buck is recovering.” Bobby tried to start by reassuring Eddie that Buck was alive. “He came to at the scene while we were trying to get to you guys. He found you pinned under a door. I don’t know how he managed to get it off of you, but he managed to buy you some time by making sure your mask was on right and still working. Unfortunately he didn’t have his own.” Bobby squeezed Eddie’s shoulder gently as Eddie’s heart monitor sped up. “Eddie, he’s alive. He woke up a few hours ago.” Bobby eyed the monitor until the beeping slowed a bit. “He’ll be okay. Christopher is with him. Your grandmother needed a break so Hen took her to the cafeteria. Maddie is keeping an eye on Buck and Christopher.”

Eddie let out a sob that made his whole body hurt, but he didn’t care. He was so relieved that Buck was okay.

“One of the civilians lost an arm,” Bobby sighed, “but considering they caused the explosion, well lets just say a lot of people have mixed feelings about what happened, but they’ll live to see how it all plays out.” Eddie shook his head. At this point he didn’t care about that. He did his job, all he wanted to do was check on his boyfriend, but before he could respond to Bobby the doctor came in.

“Good evening, Mr. Diaz. I’m Dr. Jameson. How about we take a quick look at you and then I’ll let you know what is happening.” The doctor looked Eddie over, checking his lungs and heart.

“You have a few broken ribs, a broken wrist, and your leg is severely bruised but luckily not broken. Your helmet and mask protected your head but you may still have some pain from the hit you took. It could have been much worse, Mr. Diaz.”

Not long after the doctor left there was a knock at the door. Bobby grinned and asked, “You awake?”

“Mmhmm.” Eddie mumbled.

“Good because someone missed you.” Bobby went over and opened the door. Eddie did his best to follow his movement.

“ Dad!” Christopher shouts before making his way over as fast as his crutches could manage. Maddie gives Bobby a quick hug and closes the door.

“Hey buddy,” Eddie smiles at his son. Bobby lifts Christopher onto the bed before the boy can hurt himself trying to climb up on his own.

“Be careful, Chris,” Maddie reminded him.

“I know,” the little boy smiled as he snuggled into his dad’s side.

“Thanks for looking after him, Maddie.” Eddie smiled at his boyfriend’s sister.

“Anytime,” Maddie smiled back. “Besides, Buck did most of the work, I just supplied the snacks.”

“How is he?” Eddie asked. He hated not having Buck there with him.

“Unbelievably glad you’re awake.” Maddie sat down in the chair Bobby had been sitting in. “Which means he’ll finally let himself relax, and actually sleep.”

Eddie buried his face in his son’s hair to give himself a chance to breathe and stay calm. Of course his boyfriend would force himself to the edge while trying to comfort Christopher and worry about Eddie more than he cares for himself, again.

“But he’s going to be okay, right Chris?” Maddie smiled at the little boy.

“Yup,” Chris smiled. “They said I did a good job taking care of him.”

“You did, did you?” Eddie looked between his son and Maddie.

“He did.” Maddie nodded. “They watched cartoons and talked about anything and everything possible, including debating the best colors and flavors of jello. You know, the most important of topics.”

Eddie laughed, he did his best to hide how it made his injured body hurt.

Christopher frowned. “You can’t laugh either?”

“What? No. I can, I’m just sore. It’s okay.” Eddie hugged his son close, but gave a confused look to Maddie and Bobby.

Maddie sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear as she leaned forward. “Buck had breathing issues as a kid and I guess it has flared up from the smoke inhalation.” Maddie hadn’t gone in to see Eddie with the intention to tell him that. Buck had asked her not to share that fact. Buck didn’t want Eddie to worry about it, but Christopher had essentially broached the topic.

“How bad is it?” Eddie asked, carding the fingers of his uninjured hand through his son’s curls to ground himself and stay calm. He needs to know Buck is alright. He couldn’t lose another person he loved.

“The doctors are handling it, oxygen and medication. It’s just a matter of clearing out his lungs and avoiding a secondary infection, but it could be worse. He can actually make it through a sentence without coughing.” Maddie forced a smile. “He had a few cuts from the blast, and having his mask and helmet knocked off, but he got lucky. His gear took the brunt of it. He’d been blocking the one –“ She wanted to call the men that caused the explosion all sort of terrible things, but she looked at Christopher, took a deep breath and continued, “Guy, the civilian, so he didn’t hit the ground too hard initially. His shoulder must have hit something. It was dislocated when they found him. He has some bruising on his side, bruised ribs, and bump on the head from when he passed out. But no internal bleeding thankfully, so the blood thinners didn’t factor in as much as they could have. He’ll be back on his feet annoyingly fast. I can pretty much guarantee it.” Maddie shook her head but smiled. She looked at the clock on the wall. “I should go. Can’t have him waking up alone.” She patted Eddie’s less bruised leg. “He’ll be okay, Eddie.” She turned to Bobby. “I’ll message you if anything changes.”

“Thanks, Maddie.” Bobby nods.

“Bye Chris. Take as good of care of your dad as you did Buck.” Maddie waved at the boy.

“I will, bye Maddie.” Christopher waved back.

“Tell him I’ll see him as soon as they’ll let me.” Eddie told her.

“Assuming he doesn’t beat you to it.” Maddie laughed. “But I’ll let him know.”

 “How’d he look?” Buck asked as soon as Maddie was in the room.

“You are supposed to be sleeping.” Maddie lightly scolded her brother. He waved it off with the arm that wasn’t in a sling. Maddie shook her head. “He looked tired and sore, but he was happy to see Christopher. He was awake and alert. He was asking about you. So you need to sleep or you both are going to just keep worrying until the nurses sedate you and then you’ll have to wait even longer.”

Buck tried to ask more questions but all that came out was a coughing fit.

“See, you need to rest, your lungs need to heal. Don’t make me get the nurse.” Maddie ignored the glare her brother sent her as she helped him lay back against the pillows. She took his hand in hers.

“So he really is okay?” Buck finally managed to ask.

“Yes, he told me to tell you that he’ll see you when they let him.” Maddie grinned.

“Not if I see him first.” Buck stated.  

“Told him you’d say that.” Maddie laughed, causing Buck to smile. “Now sleep, little brother. Eddie and Bobby have Christopher. So you have nothing stopping you. I’ll wake you if anything changes, okay?”

Buck nodded and gave her hand a tight squeeze before letting his eyes close. Maddie sent a few one handed texts before she settled in so her brother could sleep.

 Bobby checked his phone when it buzzed. He shook his head and sighed.

“What’s up?” Eddie whispered, turning away from the cartoon his son had been mostly sleeping through.

“Just Buck being Buck.” Bobby smiled fondly.

“He okay?” Eddie asked, the stupid monitor speeding up slightly.

“He’s fine, he was just waiting to ask Maddie about how you were doing when she got back. She’s starting to doubt he was ever sleeping in the first place.”

Eddie’s brows furrowed, he knew Buck often put off his own basic needs, but while they were both in the hospital? That was a new level of stubborn, even for Buck.

“He’ll be fine, Maddie threatened to have him sedated so he finally agreed to sleep. So he should be out for a few hours.”

“Good he needs it.” Eddie shook his head.

“He’s not the only one.” Bobby pointed out.

“I know, I know. No need to sedate me.” Eddie grinned.

#Buddie Fic #Buck x Eddie #Eddie x Buck #Evan Buckley #Eddie Diaz #Eddie/Buck #Buck/Eddie #diazbuckleysworld #tw: injury #tw: explosion #my writing #unprompted #unbeta'd #now back to our scheduled Buddie programming #Buck and Eddie can’t catch a break Series

[deniigi]

I heard you that you were taking prompts and I thought that maybe seeing Brett or Foggy interact with Daredevil and Miles-Spidey from your ITSV verse would be pretty cool. Feel free to throw this away if it’s not what you’re looking for!

OH

I actually have something similar-ish to this in my drafts.

I’m putting this one under the cut since it’s a little longer.

Lol, so the premise of the larger piece this is from is that Technicolor Peter’s mutation reacts violently to the appearance of other spideys and kind of puts him into a berserk mode so all he wants to do is tear them limb from limb. Doesn’t show up much in this bit, but that’s the working idea here.

———–

“Put your hands up,” Brett called, full-voice.

Surprisingly, the four masks did this without question.

“Get on your knees.”

It was almost like they could sense the guns. Brett didn’tlike to aim one at anyone, but this shit was going too far. And Peter wasspeechless with fury this time. He’d tangled with a few of these characters onthe way to this particular alley and, to Brett’s surprise, had come out onbottom. Scrambling off from beneath one after the other.

Brett wasn’t sure if it was the quality of the costumes or thedesigns that pissed him off, or if it was the challenge to his territory, but anywayaround, little Pete was not havingthese cosplayers that night. He stayed crouched low against a nearby wall, morespiderlike than Brett had seen him.

Unhappy.

This was one unhappy Spidey.

He realized belatedly that his suspects were chatteringamong themselves and repeated the command for them to kneel.

“Dude, we gotta kneel,” one of them—the smallest one—hissedat the others.

“We don’t have time for this,” the one in the white suitsnapped.

“We don’t have timeto get shot either,” the small one insisted.

Boy had some sense in his head, then. That was a relief.

“He won’t shoot, he’s got no reason to—”

“Now. He’s got noreason to now.”

Brett really liked the small one. He glanced over to Peter,still sunken into the wall, and jerked his head a little. Asking him if he hadanything to say to these guys before they got to the hand-cuffing part of theevening. He didn’t respond.

Well, alright then.

“This is the last time I’m gonna say it, y’all. Get on yourknees,” Brett called.

“Hey, can you take a bullet?” the second tallest of thegroup asked the tallest over his shoulder.

“Take a—do I look like Superman to you???”

The second tallest Spidey turned his head to the side justbarely and shrugged lightly.

“Well, I mean. You dowork for a newspaper.”

“Is that seriously your baseline for bulletproof right now?”

“Yes?”

“Hey,” Brett called to get their attention. All four wentrigid and then eased up.

“Okay, alright, everyone shut up,” the tallest guy said tothe others. “This might be a good thing. We can make this work.”

Make what work? And why the fuck were they still blabberingon?

“This is it,” the smallest one moaned, “This is it. My dadis gonna kill me.”

“Same,” the white spidey sighed.

“No one’s dad is killing anyone,” The tallest guy said. “Weare just going to explain to this very nice officer and his very nice,marginally feral Spidey what’s goingon and through exuberance and charm, we will find the chain and then be righton our way—right, officer?”

Oh. That had been for his benefit, then, had it?

Ha.

Nice try.

 ****

“Name?”

“Parker.”

“Given name?”

“Peter.”

“Listen, sir. This is not a funny joke.”

“No, you listen, my friend. I am hilarious, but also 100% not trying to be funny right now. Name:Peter B. Parker. That one’s just Peter Parker.”

“So he’s your nephew, sir?”

This made the blond kid scream into his cuffed hands andsent the other two kids—kids becauseof fucking course they were—into peals of muffled giggling. The big uncle wasbeyond unimpressed.

“Yes,” he said, totally deadpan.

“Oh my god, no,”the blond kid burst out, “No, no, no.”

“He’s my nephew,” the uncle said tightly.

“I’m not. We’re cousins at most—”

“They named him after me ‘cause I’m so fucking handsome.”

“Oh my GOD, B. Shut the fuck up right—”

“They saw greatness and knew exactly what to do.”

This guy was. Well. He actually was kind of a riot. Half thestation was pretending like they weren’t giggling.

Funny, they were. Yes. But that did not make the situationone iota less unbelievable. Peter B. Parker had a state ID which literally,actually read ‘Peter Benjamin Parker’ and, for all that Brett could tell, itwas not a fake. He snuck it off to forensics to see if they thought it was afake, and while he and Steph held it, it fucking buzzed and zipped andshattered into color before resuming its normal corporeal form.

“Well, this is interesting,” Steph said.

Interesting, on the forensics team, was code for ‘bad.’

Steph and Kev came with Brett back into the bullpen wherethe blond kid was firmly renouncing any relation to his uncle. He was kind of ariot too.

“I’ve never met this man in my life,” he kept insisting. “Ionly know these guys. They were all, hey let’s do Halloween early—let’s allpretend to be Spiderman which is just silly,right?”

“Sir, do you have an ID?”

“And I said, like an idiot, no, yeah. That’s sounds likeit’ll be a great time, and really,it’s only karma that we’d end up getting arrested.”

“Sir,” Isabel said slowly, with immense patience.

“It’s a onesie, ma’am, not a whole lot of room for pockets.”

“Sir. It will be easier for all of us if you have an ID.”

“Yeah, Peter,” theuncle said nastily, “You heard the lady. The cheek of you, talking back likethat.”

“Oh my—he’s not myuncle. I swear.”

Isabel looked between the two of them and like. Even Brettcould see the resemblance there. From a distance even. Nah, man. Nice try.

“He’s not. This isjust a biological accident—”

“That’s what his mama calls him,” the uncle stage-whisperedto Isabel. He had absolutely charmed Isabel. They needed to get him a differentofficer for booking ASAP.

“Oh my god,” Blondie moaned into his hands. “This was amistake.”

Isabel could not keep her face straight. She asked for theID again and this time Blondie dug through his suit and shoved it at herwithout eye contact.

“Peter Parker,” she read.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You know, we’re familiar with a kid with this same name.”

“I am not even a little surprised, ma’am.”

“Are you guys all related?”

“Biologically and theoretically speaking—”

“Yep.” Uncle had this shit on lockdown. Blondie glared athim and pursed his lips. Kid looked like a model. Also a little homicidal. Heand Uncle probably ought to be placed in different holding cells.

Steph and Kev were entranced by these people. Even more sowhen Blondie’s ID did the same buzzing-zapping thing that Uncle’s had inIsabel’s hand. She nearly dropped it.

“What was that?” she asked.

“Well, most likely,it was the misalignment of particles from—”

“Act of god.”

Thanks, Uncle B. Blondie mugged at him with every bit of hisjaw he could weaponize. The kids were just about in tears. The girl looked kindof familiar, actually, now that Brett got a good look at her.

“How old are you?” he asked.

Silence among the children.

“Sixteen,” she said.

“Name?”

“Uuuuuh.”

Yeah, that’s what he thought.

“Need your name, honey,” he said. “Ain’t no use in making upone now.”

“Gwen.”

Now, was that so hard?

“And you?” he asked the young black boy next to her. Hedropped his eyes immediately.

“Miles.”

“How old are you, son?”

“Uh.”

Gwen elbowed him right in the ribs and gave him a Look.

“F-fifteen?”

Ummmm, no. Try again.

“Fourteen, sir.”

That was better. Someone had disciplined the ever-lovingshit out of this boy. He was good and respectful.

“What were you two doing out in the middle of the night withthe dream team over here?” Brett asked. “You guys forming a cosplaying club orsomething?”

“Uh.”

“We aren’t cosplaying,” Blondie snapped. “That guy’s thereal Spiderman.” He pointed at his uncle, who was offended as hell at theaccusation. “He got bit by a radioactive spider and then I got bit by a radioactive spider and then Gwen got bit by a—”

Okay, Brett got the idea. He looked at Uncle B.

“You’re Spiderman, then,” he said flatly. Uncle B thoughtabout it like a guy trying to remember where his damn keys were.

“Mmmmm, sure why not?”

What.

Who the fuck was he?

“Peter B. Parker,” Brett repeated. “Spiderman.”

“Pretty much.”

“Peter Parker,” Brett started.

“No, no. Peter B. Parker. The B’s important.”

This was ridiculous. Steph and Kev poked at the guy from theside and he lit up like he’d touched a live wire. His body jerked and burstinto colors like his ID had.

What.

The fuck.

“I’m—okay, you. You seem like some kinda scientist,” Brettsaid to Blondie who went stiff as a board and started stammering. “What thefuck is happening?,” Brett demanded. “I already got the night crew to dealwith, I don’t need any more crazy in my life right now.”

“Uuuuh. Can I? Have counsel?”

#fic #into the multiverse #dreamcoats verse #that person who sent me a message about getting Miles and Brett to interact a million years ago is responsible for this #I haven't stopped thinking about it since #ficlet

[theelliottsmiths]

Can you please suggest any good and comforting shows, books or films please? This virus is really affecting my anxiety.

Absolutely.

Whether or not the books will be comforting is a Question because a lot of what I read is kind of dark. Most of them ended up being SFF because it's usually more fun than literary fiction etc.

Books:

The Cybernetic Tea Shop by Meredith Katz. It's so fucking soft. It's about an android who owns a tea shop and an engineer and they're lesbians and I don't want to spoil it but basically? It feels like a cozy blanket and a mug of hot chocolate.

The Leviathan Trilogy by Scott Westerfeld. Honestly in general middle grade is a good idea because it's so cozy and less stressful (though often dark, kids are weird). This may sound more more dramatic and stressful than it is. Leviathan is set in WWI but it's a fight between Darwinists (people who splice up DNA to make things like living ships and hydrogen-sniffing dogs with two noses) and the clankers (people who think that's weird and prefer machines) and there's this kid called Deryn/Dylan who works on an airship and another kid called Alek who is kind of a prince, it's tied to the whole archduke Ferdinand assassination thing. I promise it's very fun and good, here's a sample of the illustrations

Barbary Station by RE Stearns. It's one of my favourite books, I describe it as comfy and extremely worrying because a lot of shit happens but it feels very... Nailed down? Like there are certain things you know won't be fucked up?

A Place Called Perfect by Helen Duggan. Another middle grade. A kid moves to a seemingly perfect town but things are not what they appear.

John Dies at the End by David Wong. Only if you're into cosmic horror and other weirdness. The sequels get better and better, but This Book Is Full Of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is a bit pandemicy (mind controlling spiders take over). The first one is about. Uh. A drug but it's not actually?

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers. Almost nothing happens but in a good way. It's just interesting aliens and found family and very minor stress in the middle.

Most Neil Gaiman books besides American Gods, really.

Shows:

A Series of Unfortunate Events. I've watched it so many times my dude. I rarely rewatch things, I get bored, but it's Delightful, it just has such a specific feeling and humour to it.

Bones. Yes, it's murdery, but like. In a cosy way.

Warehouse 13. Cannot explain how much I love it. A team of people whomst I adore have to go around collecting artefacts that are Wreaking Havoc.

Star Trek TOS even though William Shatner is a cuntbag who harasses teenagers and also me on the internet. At one point there's this alien that. I'll just show you.

Good Omens. I'm sure you've either seen it or seen people shouting about it for about a year straight on Tumblr.

The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell. Just a fun baking programme with Addams Family vibes.

Films. I do not watch many films but:

A Series of Unfortunate Events. Yes, both adaptions are good.

Repo! The Genetic Opera. It's so much fun you guys I cannot explain how fun it is it's one of my favourite films ever

The Addams Family (1991). You know why, I'm sure.

Possibly I'm the only one who thinks it's comfy but Annihilation

#me rambling #non-rammstein

[werewolfbneimitzvah]

what the fuck is Never Sleep Again! the Most Dangerous Facts about This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It by Johnathan Root