#The new COVID guidelines hit my work

[vergess]

Fuuuuuuuck the CDC

#Automatic OP tag #The new COVID guidelines hit my work #Bad enough we weren't ALLOWED to mask before this (by my employer not the CDC) #But now???? There's not even a 3 day quarantine period anymore????? #Fucking joke of a country

[tfrarepairing]

TF Rare Pairing Monthly Requests

Hello everyone! Mod eerian here, with the new format of once monthly prompts for TF Rare Pairing! For Augutst, I’m afraid I’m still skipping the fandom round up, cause I just don’t have the energy to chase the links down right now. Either I’ll recruit an assistant to do the leg work or it’ll just be hit and miss forever. (Sorry, it’s the long covid.)

The basics of the new format are the same. For monthly prompts, there’s no minimum or maximum level of contribution and ANY KIND of fanwork is allowed, from fic to art to crochet to photography. Everyone who participates will get a reblog/retweet/share and a Gold Star! (Gold Stars made by MagicBumper who is way better with graphics than I am!) We’re also making them all continuity agnostic. That means any prompt is ready to go for whatever series setting you want to use!

So, a quick run down of the guidelines for a piece and then i’ll get to the promtps!

1. Tag your entry for Continuity  (G1, IDW, etc), rating, and AO3’s big 4 if applicable. Additional tags/warnings are always welcome.

2. “Ship” can mean friendship, queerplatonic, family and more. Fills do not have to be strictly romantic or citrusy.

3. No bashing of ships or other people in the fandom. If something is not to your taste, move on. If you don’t get along with someone, pass on by. This is a place to CELEBRATE rare pairs, not spread hate.

4. If you’re on tumblr, twitter or pillowfort, tag us in your post so we can find it to share! 

And that’s it! Now for the prompts!

Inferno/Scorponok, vent

Rhinox/Optimus Primal, broken promises

Arcee/Chromia, clean break

Beachcomber/Hound, wildflowers

Elita One/Optimus Prime, in your arms

Arcee/Greenlight, meet cute

Chromia/Nautica, first date

Flamewar/Slipstream, crash

Boulder/Graham Burns, pickup lines

Bumblebee/Blades, clumsy

Megatron/Ratchet, for old times

Optimus Prime/Prowl, crush

Rattrap/Waspinator, deal

Deadlock/Hot Rod, pretty little lies

Cosmos/Skyfire, among the stars

Seaspray/Alana, beach vacation

Rung/Skids, my hero

Glyph/Nautica, fling

Slipstream/Strika, rivalry

Brainstorm/Whirl, time bomb

Blurr/Sideswipe, shenanigans

Strongarm/Arcee, celebrity crush

Cliffjumper/Longarm, after hours

Blackarachnia/Airazor, bird-eating spider

Mirage/Cliffjumper, crystal garden

Have fun, can’t wait to see what you create!

#maccadam #tf rare pairing monthly requests

[avauntus]

what it's like to catch the plague, late 2022 edition.

After nearly 2 1/2 years of avoiding it, COVID caught up with me. It's been a while since I've seen a post like this, but I wanted to share what it was like for me (as a single person, living alone), what helped, and what I'd stock in advance if I'd known that would help even more.

Some say this is "milder COVID," and I mean...compared to something that puts you in the hospital, I guess so? Still, I've been flat on my back for four days, and I'm going to go take a nap after finishing this post so-- if you're feeling like it's a LOT, or want to avoid it, you are 100% valid. This is NOT an easy sickness. The only thing I've gone through that has made me weaker was surgery, and that took over a month to recover from.

I also know 100% how I got this: My father's living facility is having a COVID outbreak, and when he tested positive last Saturday, he was already on a watch to maybe go in for emergency monitoring for heart issues and diabetic-related infection issues-- the triage nurse recommended taking him in to be examined because that was just-- a lot of complication, all-together. The only way he was going to get there was if I drove him, and he's not great about mask-wearing at the best of times (he did try- until he forgot).

So- good news for you, potential COVID avoider? I basically ignored a lot of exposure guidelines and got myself infected. It's still possible to be cautious and be reasonably safe, I think.

On to COVID itself-- I had no symptoms on the first day post-exposure, light fatigue and a cough on the second (I made dinner and made it out to a grocery pickup [contactless with me double-masked]), and by the third day I was having trouble standing.

A trick I learned from an earlier COVID-solo essay that worked for me: If you can get part of the way up, you can "walk" yourself upright using your hands and a wall. Then just-- try to get wherever you're going quickly, you know?

Some other useful things I was glad to have on hand:

Broth - I didn't want to eat anything, and when I tried a cookie anyway, I got tired of chewing halfway through. Drinkable stuff was key.

Juice

Canned drinks - convenient sizes, and a hit of caffeine from the soda when I started getting a headache from not drinking any coffee or tea that I was too tired to brew

granola bars or breakfast cookies (or protein bars might have been even better) - if I only get a few bites of something, might as well make it count

chapstick

cough syrup (!!)

tissues (!!)

a way to have the phone nearby, and a way to set it up so only key contacts can reach you when you're sleeping (pretty much: always)

dumb TV (I watched this and this)

A family member and a friend from work both checked in with me this week and asked how I was doing and if I needed anything from the store / a meal -- something I really felt touched by-- if you have a friend in your life with COVID right now, especially if they live alone or are usually the "household doer" - I'd really suggest checking with them, and it's an easy thing to drop off a carton of soup or a half-gallon of milk on a doorstep. Your COVID friend is so, so tired, and will so appreciate it.

I don't want to linger on this, but I also had reactions when I shared I'd caught COVID that were along the lines of: at least it's the milder version! or good luck, hope it is asymptomatic for you! (what?)-- and I just mention it because if you're getting that kind of reaction too-- don't let it get to you. This IS ROUGH; and you are 100% valid to feel crumby, sad, to rest and take care of yourself.

I read I was supposed to try to isolate my cat, which worked for about 30 seconds, until I fell asleep the first time, and then how am I supposed to say no to this?:

Up until last week, the US government (and state programs, mostly, too) have been shutting down. Now the White House has briefly opened a window to get more rapid tests-- so you can tell if what you have is COVID or the worst flu you've ever encountered, haha. 🙃 In any case, if you're in the US, sign up for your four free additional tests I guess!

I hope this helps somebody else out there-- stay safe everybody, and I hope you can let yourself rest if you catch this!

#covid #covid isn't over #about me #🤧

[lyreleafblog]

☽ Crystal Magic / Part Three ☾

I explored and discovered a myriad of concepts all stemming from powerful anecdotes. Jeannie Di Bon offers much information. Nikki has become a personal inspiration to me, especially with how she discusses more social elements of fitness and how they discourage hypermobile individuals and hinder our success. Dr. Jen Crane expresses a lived reality that juxtaposes the very treatment guidelines I was initially given regarding Ehlers Danlos and hypermobility.

Holy shit. My dead mother left me to inherit her disease without a single cue of guidance, nearly a thousand miles away from the genetic blood that looked and lived like she and I alone did. Suddenly, every time I unlocked my phone, I was faced with images of people who looked like me and who hurt like me and who, like me were discovering and sharing about the relief that exercise can bring to individuals with hypermobile conditions. My mom had, in her best mindset, at times in my childhood, told me stories about how when she lifted weights, she was the healthiest she’d ever been—folly, dreaming up a fantasy of doing it all over again, and imagining, maybe hopelessly, but maybe almost in genius, that weights were the real cure all along.

I took off. I’d already known a bit about fitness thanks to childhood interests and pursuits. A more psychologically sound understanding of how to appropriately maintain my intake and body image allowed me to properly nourish myself. I gained strength rapidly. Occasional classes, many work-books and an exercise mat, resistance bands, free-weights and even sometimes going to a real-life -gym—it all became just another part of my routine.

I became stronger than I could ever remember being. I became profoundly more able-bodied than I’d been in years. I walked at a theme park—and rode roller coasters—and felt good.

And then, something sinister started cooking. Finally, the last piece of the equation shuffled out from behind a curtain, and I was faced with the finale of my psycho-spiritual-medical-crisis.

In late 2022 I caught coronavirus despite being fully vaccinated. I’ve read that those of us who had an allergic reaction to the vaccines might be more prone to actual infection should the vaccines efficacy be reduced. Either way, I caught it. Miraculously, my usually-life-threatening asthma didn’t seem to flare up nearly as much as another part of my body—a part I had long thought I was quite literally divinely intimate with: my nerves.

It started with intense cold flashes and sweats. I don’t remember much besides the misery of those sensations. I recovered from Covid relatively quickly, so I thought I’d gotten away without incident. As the months past my recovery began to add up, however, I found myself facing a whole new set of symptoms. When the holidays rolled around, my partner helped me piece together that these symptoms were not, in fact, new, but instead were just now very pronounced.

Irritiability, severe insomnia, sleep disturbances, visual hallucinations and convulsions began dominating a week out of every month of my life. It quickly became so disorganizing that I found myself unable to keep up with my diet or exercising as neatly as my health generally required—which I’m certain only worsened things. I didn’t understand it—not at all—and moaned to my therapist about how my rising symptoms simply didn’t make sense.

I’m not ready to address most of what happened next because as it continues to unfold, I still struggle to process it all. What I will say, however, was that my small family was hit with a sobering realization. For a lifetime, I’d been excused away with “mental illness” as many women and people assigned female at birth are. “It’s just anxiety,” they’d say. We discovered something I never could have imagined, thanks to my background; Anxiety isn’t always the cause of something—sometimes, anxiety is a symptom.

And sometimes, meditation isn’t the most reliable treatment, despite its accessibility.

My new understanding might be new, in fact, but I’m told that everything about me has been present from the start, and instead, it’s merely the environment I interacted with that has both emboldened and extinguished various aspects of my DNA. Perhaps, with a stronger, less wobbly neck, I would have a condition with a different name, or have no condition at all. Perhaps if I’d grown up never meditating or playing videogames or sitting much too close to the tv screen or listening to binaural beats very loudly in the attempt to depersonalize from my period cramps, perhaps things would be different. Instead, this is my reality.

Something big awoke in me. It coincided with meeting a friend who herself was so fully invested in the realm of spirituality that she seemed to pull it out of whatever metaphysical box-in-the-closet I’d yet again returned it all to within myself. My crystal garden made it’s way out into the living room. White candles appeared. A pendulum gently rests on a glass end table, reflecting the image of its own crystalline structure, looking four-dimensional.  

If this entire time the very labels of my conditions were little more than unmedicated symptoms, then what else do I have to trust but that intuition that I have found for myself, by myself, and within myself, which I can carry with me everywhere?

I always knew it was real. It wasn’t the presence of ghosts, nor a sensation generated by my psychology—though certainly worsened by its illness.

My own anxiety is a symptom, an aura. My suicidality is nothing more than a temporary, illegitimate side effect. That’s why no amount of cognitive reasoning has ever touched it. It’s not a thing that exists in the realm of reason, but an impulse that exists in the same way of my need for vestibular stimulation during a temper tantrum.

These feelings are not the problem—they’re a cue that the problem is acting up again. Just like the kaleidoscope headaches. Just like the shaking in bed at night.

“Catamenial,” they go on, charting in their little documents. Treatment-resistant. More cancer-causing-hormone-pills, less kundalini-breathing.

No. No, to put it simply. No longer are my experiences merely a collection of human behaviors meant to be labeled and categorized so that I might slip through every possible crack in the system for decades like my mother had. When I learned that my anxiety itself was merely a symptom of something else that was happening inside of my brain—something that apparently, is mostly influenced by the level of estrogen circulating in my body—I felt like the world as I knew it had ended. I know, PMDD, etc., all of these other catch-all labels exist to describe what I suppose one could call hormone-related-mood-changes—but to describe this phenomenon as PMDD, an arm-chair descriptor that people are nearly encouraged to self-diagnose with, would be like describing the alphabet without phonetics. Why PMDD?

Why are the symptoms happening—not “what are they”, and “how can we put a band aid over them and ignore them until whatever underlying condition initially caused them spirals out of control, spills all over the floor and makes a big mess everywhere?”

What mechanisms in the brain are genuinely responsible for the experiences of a patient? Through the lens of psychology, despite the field vocally recommending away from Freudian roots, one human being can quite literally observe—as in, using only their core senses, and making only direct notations—the deeply rooted, totally invisible, mysterious, largely inexplicable interpersonal workings of another human’s brain. Sure, the anecdotal, self-reported status of patients improve alongside the treatment of these “immaterial” symptoms. I told myself I had PMDD, and my childhood counselor agreed with me, and my “treatment” of sticky-notes telling me I’m pretty on the mirror seemed to help. Yet it hadn’t, but to fulfill the social role of psychiatric illness, I told myself, my doctor and everyone else that it did. Meanwhile, the twisted neurological and endocrinological concoction that was actually behind my conditions, one that influenced every single fathomable aspect of my perception, decision-making, executive function and socialization continued to devolve.

It's so easy for this timeline to occur with any condition where physical proof of its very existence is lacking. I don’t mean to discredit the studies of “depressed brains” and such, which of course really do convey meaningful data, but to simply call into question the expediated pace at which someone with profound medical abnormalities might somehow find themselves rapidly re-focused on coping with their deterioration rather than taking accountability to prevent it. Why was my condition labeled as “PMDD” before a single EEG was ever done on me? I’ll answer that—because the psychologist who told me I had PMDD didn’t need to run an EEG for the insurance to pay her for my continued sessions. I don’t blame her, or any psychologist who are part of the many that I believe to be overly diagnosing mental illnesses that might be side effects of untreated physical illnesses—especially in areas where healthcare access is strained. We all just want to feel better and help each other feel better… But at some point, we must take responsibility for the enterprises we subscribe to without protest. Those enterprises may be of science or of religiosity—but in this specific example, in this chapter of my personal story—the scientific truth was delivered to me through a god-fearing scientist. How ironic.

Oh, the book of shadows—the pretty little labeled jars of quartz and things that are just quartz but with pigment, and other, actually precious stones—and the white candles laced with jasmine oil—they all found their ways right back, front-and-center in my home.  Feeling unsafe inside of one’s own mind is quite the experience. Pascal and his wager had nothing to do with it, this time, however. Instead, I was searching for a comfort that I realized no form of science could ever award me with.

At first, my neurology was all over the place, and everything felt spontaneous and pattern-less.  With the practice of my long-locked-away spiritual mindfulness, however, slowly, I have been becoming more able to recognize the semi-conscious patterns in my neurology that I’ve been mislabeling as anxiety for decades. When I meditate, I can feel my brain. I can pay attention to how it feels. I can notice little things. For most of my life, those little things were labeled as evil. Then, they were labeled as some kind of Munchausen or psychosis. Then, thanks to one single doctor, I came to learn that they were in fact my brain experiencing itself and trying to explain those experiences back to me. They are clues indeed, and those very clues will go on to help expert doctors find a long-term treatment for me that isn’t nearly as risky as some of the blanket-treatments for my conditions. Yes, to the experts, these phenomena are measurable and relatively simple to study. Perhaps not with Freudian psychotherapy—but with simple labs and imaging.

Alas, I am finally liberated to begin to take ownership of these experiences. Not a “mental illness” that I must constantly battle against to retain my artificial “I’m a good and normal person” token—not the spiritualist woo that I grew up on, balancing good versus evil—but simply put, biology. On the glass table where I’ve fabricated my little would-be alter, if I were a conventional, non-secular type, a slice of citrine glitters underneath my ceiling fan. It helps me relax during the meditative practices that have found their way back into my daily routine. Only because I, for myself, because of myself, and entirely by myself decided so—I uphold my practice. It makes me feel good, and I now know how integral and critical the sensation of “feeling good” is to my measurable neurological wellbeing. The “feel good” is the absence of severity in many of the neurological challenges I live with. It is not victim to the advice, wisdom, influence or even suggestion of others—not grifting diviners or established churches or stemming from even a single branch of modern medicine.

Instead, I am focused on the philosophy behind the creations of medicine and psychology themselves. 5,000 years ago, when humans were initially preserving information about mental and physical health, the concepts of medicine and psychology were often, if not always unified. A deviation point from this unified perspective, at least in Western thinking, might be, for example, Cartesian dualism. Contrastingly, however, certain concepts associated with early human medicine, often questioned as archaic or outdated, permeate into the everyday lives of many peoples.

Aspects of archaic medicinal cultures continue to suggest the applicability of such concepts through the day, such as in the still-popular techniques described in Ayurvedic medicine. In Ayurvedic medicine, the various more consumable treatments simultaneously affect physical and mental health. Some physical ailments are suggested to co-occur with mental ailments, or there is such a pattern where any one kind of patient complaint would immediately warrant investigation into the corresponding psychological or physiological complaints to those ascribed sorts of issues. I think this juxtaposes well against the western use of medicine that isolates and treats one specific problem, while describing the other, undesirable results of the treatment on other bodily systems, or on the mind, or on the body itself, depending on the treatments context, as simple, predictable side effects. Medicine has long had roots in a more epistemological, relational background, which many people find anecdotally superior to this day.

I, however, have realized, from this sort-of-bird’s-eye-view forcibly provided to me by chronic illness, that subscribing to any single body of thought, particularly any that is absolutist in its declaration, might be provably un-helpful. Once any concept, even a medical concept, becomes well-known enough, I believe it all becomes a bitter game of “telephone” between speakers and leaders and their audience. One can either go to heaven or to hell—one can choose to live the ultimate healthy lifestyle, or a savagely short one—one might be infinitely ethical or practically evil—black and white thinking frames the conversation. As the history, research and data is transcribed over and over across not only thousands of years but thousands of miles, too, observers can become empathetic toward the situation that has resulted in multigenerational agony in my family. Other people will find means to justify the acceptance or growth of the concept they defend. Yet it doesn’t take long for something with a tremendous capacity for healing to be turned into a way to blame an individual for their lack of medical treatment success, or the lack of success in other areas of their lives. Once a tool is being used to shame, limit or restrict other individuals, its capacity for harm has become apparent.

Am I a bad witch for being secular?

Am I bad depression-patient for turning to witchcraft?

A bad patient for not wanting pills?

Am I a bad person because I can’t eat only plants anymore?

Yes, and that is why all of those everyday-extremes warrant talking about. All of these communities might defame, exclude and otherwise seek to quiet my perspective because it breaks their systems of moral justification. Should I, even for a moment, humor any of these ethical extremes, I’ll find my fragile human brain thrown back into the make-believe cycle of spiritually condemning my sin-ridden, selfish-for-wanting-peace self to pain. Similarly, if I throw all of it away and rely on “conventions” to “make me feel better,” then I am simply crazy—as in, the only explanation for my ongoing dissatisfaction with either my state of being or the overt decay of our world—is that I must just be crazy… Until another genius comes around the corner with another test that nobody else had thought to run yet.

Now, this is where this article (err.. novelette) will become challenging as I attempt to convey my conclusion. I have personally concluded nothing besides liberty from this situation. I have come to the realization that the greatest source of “how I’m doing” quite really is myself. I can determine if a treatment, philosophy, or even a particular incident of practice is appropriate and dignifying for me. I don’t have to be vegan to eat fruit salad. I don’t have to believe in Aphrodite to practice witchcraft. I don’t have to take AEDs to control my seizures (at least yet). The liberty of removing myself from the constraints of hierarchical, social labels is unbridled.

So, my experiences have hopefully landed me enough perspective to guide other seekers into a path of their own conviction. I would recommend beginning to simply challenge or question some of the categories we have itemized our personhood into. Analyze the surrounding community of people in the group you’re reflecting on. Do those people live lives that you would like to have for yourself? Do they behave with traits that you want for yourself? Are they as authentic and genuine as you want to be? Rather than targeting an individual, identify more general sources of communication for these organizations or groups. It can be easy to fool ourselves with the help of a singular good-enough-looking role model.

I find it helpful to meditate on the color purple, the rock called amethyst, and other such subjects that express the bridging between what’s perceivable and what might be divine. If a placebo works, then it’s just as good as a drug. If a drug doesn’t work and makes you feel horrible, then regardless of what your blood tests say, is it really any better than just pretending you feel better? Humor my centering of dignity.

At the same time, one must be their own prescriber of placebos to avoid being conned into statistically supporting another capitalized ideology, which is certainly not easy. In a time where advertisements have slowly but surely replaced nearly all of the media we consume, it can be difficult to weave out what part of a persona is authentic—even within our own everyday friendships. Thus, like good little researchers, witches and scientists, we must explore, practice and test the concepts around us. Like in the way that we communicate with one another using words, pictures, gestures and metaphors—the physical world around us communicates back to us, not always in ways that appear quantified in lab work, and not always in ways that we might assume to be experiencing with our souls. Instead, we are left alone with our mindfulness and memories as our only real guides.

Faint words fall onto deaf ears in an audience of people I know are so much akin to me that I might as well be talking into a mirror. Perhaps I am, and I am okay with that. I am not rejecting either wellness or science, but rejecting the full-throttled trust and commitment to any pre-defined system, with or without checks and balances, because all of the logos and data and legends mean nothing next to ones active personhood. Do what feels genuinely, truly, authentically, and completely good.

Spend time with yourself. Check in with your body. Check in with your soul. Have a dialogue with your ethics. Acknowledge and engage with the thoughts in your head because, though it may feel otherwise, they are not happening to you—you are creating them. Justification is a psychological process that means nothing to much of the rest of the animal kingdom, who, thanks to a lack of Big Stupid Words like those I’m typing now, communicate with their natural world using only their most instinctive biology.

Your body is talking to you. Unlike you’ve been told, you might not have ever needed a translator.

   References:

 Palsson, O. S., & Whitehead, W. E. (2017). HORMONES AND IBS. IBS-and-Hormones. Retrieve d January 21, 2023, from https://www.med.unc.edu/ibs/wp-content/uploads/sites/450/2017/10/IBS-and-Hormones.pdf

[existentialmagazine]

Review: The AJM Show releases his debut indie-pop single ‘Take A Walk’, blending funky rhythm with a lyrical loneliness

Solo artist The AJM Show, or otherwise known as Alex Martin, finds himself powering through indie-pop and wholly responsible for everything from vocals to guitar to bass to synth and the production of it all - only reaching out to session musicians for what he cannot play. Perfect for lovers of artists like Arlo Parks, Joy Crookes, FINNEAS, The 1975, The AJM Show bolds bears a sound that’s creative but familiar, and his debut single ‘Take A Walk’ really shines through with all his hard work.

Breezily leading with an emphatic electric guitar riff, ‘Take A Walk’ soars into a groovy, clean soundscape that’s gripping right from pressing play. With AJM offering some soft vocal ‘ahh’s to complement the lead-in, the track takes on quite a pleasant, soothing beginning that can’t help but feel a little intimate and comforting. Drum beats chime in, hitting more of a melancholic edge for the verses introduction that seeps into lower tones, with the inescapable drum thuds capturing more of a darker sense even while you can’t help but sway along to their consistent pattering. Building into the chorus with rising beats and sparkling synth, ‘Take A Walk’ collapses into a fairly groovy central point of it all, with AJM soaring into a higher vocal range as he continues to vibrantly pluck his electric beside deep, steady beats. A bridge allows for a moment to highlight the instrumentals before a rising soundscape builds momentum to one final climactic chorus, continually showing off a flair for a sound that never stops evolving. Fusing indie-pop roots with R&B and funk rhythms throughout, there’s not a moment of ‘Take A Walk’ that doesn’t feel entirely its own, falling between genres in a combination that shines as both effortless and yet bold.

Written amidst the third COVID lockdown, ‘Take A Walk’ takes on all of AJM’s overwhelming emotions of the experience that found themselves trapped inside his head like he were trapped inside his house. With the repetitive nature of everyday life swirling around as he were locked inside of his four walls, AJM couldn’t help but find himself turning to music creation for an escape from the otherwise cyclical routine he’d fallen inside of: ‘this monotonous life is getting harder than I assumed.’ With only loneliness as a visitor inside his empty house, AJM achingly admits that ‘solitude’s knocking at my door again’, with a lack of outside interaction slowly sending him into a madness of isolation. Burdened by a declining mental health and physically incapable of doing anything other than follow the guidelines, lines like ‘it’s been going on for weeks, every night I barely sleep’ really emphasise the increasing struggles that come with feeling completely and utterly alone whilst seeing only the same scenery every single day. Through it all, though, AJM seems to lean into a comical aspect to lighten the mood with the choruses rhetorical hook alluding to humour in entering the outside world once again: ‘don’t you wanna take a walk outside with me? I’m imagining there’s something new to see.’ Relatable to most in their own experiences with lockdown, ‘Take A Walk’ manages to blend both undeniably catchy lines with others that deeply resonate some of the harder moments that we’re sure many collectively share.

Check out ‘Take A Walk’ for yourself here to feel a little less alone in your own lockdown experiences, or simply relate it to the everyday if AJM’s stirring lyricism cuts a little deeper.

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Rhona Murphy

// This coverage was created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator

#music #singlereview #theajmshow

[the-crafting-gremlin]

If the plague ever makes a comeback, I'm locking my grandmother in her bedroom. Not for her safety, but for everyone else's. How she managed to avoid contracting covid before now I will never know, but she did get it recently and ended up in the hospital because of it.

I live with her. I had to be the one to pick her up from the hospital when she was released. The moment she got into my car was the moment she began refusing to wear a mask again even though she was told she needed to wear one around other people for a few days. Because she 'couldn't breathe' and it was 'too hot' and 'too uncomfortable'. And rather than stay in her room to avoid spreading it around the house, she wanted to be in the living room because the recliner was more comfortable for her to read in.

Despite the fact that I opted to wear a mask around the house, wore one in the car with her, minimized contact with her, and was taking as many precautions as a I could (like regularly wiping surfaces down with Clorox wipes because she's terrible about washing her hands and sneezes/coughs into them, instead of her elbow) since she refused to be careful...I managed to contract covid.

Thankfully I'm vaccinated so it didn't hit me as hard as it did her, but I still had to miss a few days of work and I spent two days with a fever that hovered between 102 and 103 degrees F. My grandmother doesn't understand why I'm upset with her, either. I tried to lay it out as nicely as I could but she just acted like I was picking on her for pointing out that she dismissed her doctor's orders and got me sick because she wouldn't be careful.

Today is my first day back at work and omg I haven't been this happy to be at work in years. (I have to wear a mask at work for the rest of the week even though I have little to no contact with other people, thanks to our work areas being spaced out. Definitely gonna be running my fan all week because wearing a mask is hot, but I'm following every single guideline I'm given. Because I don't want to get anyone else sick or give anyone here a reason to send me home.)

In other news, I did finish the sweater for my coworker's daughter! I finished it right before I got covid. Ends are all woven in, but it still needs to be blocked; I didn't want to handle it while I was sick so I'll block that this weekend once I'm in the clear. (I want to be especially cautious since the little girl has had some health scares this year. I think her immune system is fine, and she wouldn't be getting the sweater for at least another month anyway, but I would so much rather be careful. Her family has dealt with enough medical stuff this year.)

I ended up starting on a knitted blanket while I was sick, once the fever broke. Because I needed another WIP. I just really wasn't feeling like crocheting--which is what my sister's blanket is--or assembling a sweater, and all of my other WIPs are on tiny needles with light-weight yarn. I was not up for handling small stitches or knitting in the round. Or anything complicated since I kept dozing off.

But I've had some super bulky alpaca/polyester blend sitting in my stash for the last six years that really needs to get used up. I had originally gotten it to make a sweater but it's just scratchy enough that it would drive me nuts to wear it, and also I do not live in a climate where a sweater that bulky makes sense. There is, however, enough to make a nice knitted blanket out of it that I can gift my eternally freezing mother for Christmas this year. (There will not be money for gift-buying this year thanks to medical bills and a long overdue holiday visit to friends and family I haven't seen in thirteen years. But I have time, excessive amounts of yarn and fabric and other craft stuff, and the skills to make those things into thoughtful gifts.)

So I now also have a bulky blanket on needles. It's looking really good so far, and the pattern isn't hard at all. There are cables, but it's thick yarn, thick needles, and just simple front or back held cables. It's going to be the perfect project for late nights when I'm exhausted but insomnia/restless leg/my brain won't let me sleep.

I've also started on the mitts again. Well, a different pattern. I was planning on making two sets of fingerless gloves and this is the other pattern since I can use the same yarn I used on the sweater and hopefully finish off the ball (or at least use up the majority of what's left; the original skein was about 1000 yards and I know the sweater only used about a third of that).

Its definitely crafting crunch time for me if I want to get something done for everyone on my list for the holidays.

#personal #knitting #cw: illness #my wips

[mikeleecarehome]

7 Reasons Residential Care Homes are Preferred Over In-Home Care

As the shortage of caregivers continues to worsen in the United States, the cost of in-home care has steadily increased beyond the point of affordability for many seniors. According to Glenworth, the national median cost in 2021 for in-home health care increased an average of 12.5 percent compared to the 2020 data. With inflation at multi-decade highs and minimum wage levels climbing, it may be time to explore residential care homes, also known as board and care, as an alternative. For decades, there has been a stigma attached to assisted living facilities, perhaps exacerbated by what we see on film and television. To make matters worse, COVID-19 hit these facilities hard in 2020, and every news cycle for weeks on end put on display the staggering number of infections and deaths that ripped through assisted living communities nationwide.

But after a couple years of battling COVID-19, residential care homes and assisted living facilities have undoubtedly become much safer places for seniors compared to pre-COVID times. Mandatory increased use of personal protective equipment, stringent visitor rules and requirements, and enhanced staff training and protocols have drastically decreased the spread of COVID-19 and even other transmissible diseases within resident populations and staff. In my experience, there are many reasons that residential care homes are preferable over in-home care. Cost: With economies of scale working in a care home’s favour, residents are able to get much more for their money. Oftentimes, a senior will no longer utilize their entire house once they are less mobile and require assistance with activities of daily living. Paying for in-home care and upkeep for an entire house that’s underutilized may not be money well spent. Instead, a care home can offer shared or private bedrooms (some with private bathrooms as well) and shared common areas that are designed specifically for its senior residents, allowing for even more usable space in a care home than in a larger private home where parts of the house are in accessible or unused but cost money to maintain. Community: Loneliness is a sad reality of living alone, and the quality of life and mental state of seniors can deteriorate quickly once loneliness sets in. Mental problems can develop faster when there is little to no interaction with others. In a care-home setting, there’s always staff and other residents to socialize with. Just having other people around, even if interaction is limited, can have a positive impact on one’s mental state. Meals: Care homes offer a varied menu of nutritious and healthy meals daily. Menus are commonly available ahead of time so that residents(and their families) know what will be served. Residents with specialized diets can request substitutions if necessary. Cooking for a single person for every meal is difficult to plan and execute, and ease of production sometimes takes priority over nutritional balance and preference of the senior. Cleanliness: All licensed care homes are under the supervision of the California Department of Social Services (CDSS), so guidelines must be followed to maintain licensure. Care homes are required to meet a minimum level of cleanliness and sanitation that oftentimes surpasses that of a private home maintained by a single caretaker who may not have anyone supervising their work. Activities: Exercise for the body and mind is one of the best ways to stay physically and mentally healthy. Care homes often have scheduled activities for their residents, including games like Bingo and card games to work-out sessions and yoga.These activities are much less entertaining or not possible by oneself. Checks and Balances: With multiple caregivers and other residents always present in care homes, the risk of elder abuse is minimized. There are always people to talk to if a resident feels like they’re being poorly treated or abused. This may be the single most important benefit, in my opinion, of living in a care home versus living alone with in-home care. These are just some of the benefits of living in a care home. For some, larger communities may offer even more benefits, and this just depends on the person, the level of care they require, and the types of activities that they like.

 If you’re interested in more information about the care homes or assisted living facilities in your city, Care Home Central - http://carehomecentral.com is a great website to start your search.

To know more bout us visit : https://carehomecentral.com/about

Email Us: [email protected]

Call Us: [phone]

#home health care in contra Costa-California #assisted living community near me #assisted living faciltiy in contra Costa-California #board and care in contra Costa-California #Senior Care Home in contra Costa-California

[scandiengbergs3]

Hello! I am trying to get an update squeezed in here because there sure is a lot to update on!

So, while the kids and I were at Skansen on Monday midday, and Eric had stayed home alone back in the Stockholm suburb where we were staying because he wasn't feeling tip-top, he texted me to say that he'd taken a Covid test ... and it came back positive! So of course this threw a real wrench in all of our plans and we were very concerned!

So the kids and I stopped for what we were doing, put on our masks, and made our way directly back to the Airbnb so we could test and see whether we came back positive too. Luckily, the weather was very mild, so Eric was able to stay outside. But we knew that it was likely that the die was already cast because we'd all been together for so many days.

But, of course, in the sort of panic mode that we were in, when the kids' and my tests came back negative, we decided that the kids and I would hit the train to Gothenburg immediately on Monday night, rather than Tuesday afternoon, so Eric could quarantine alone in the Stockholm Airbnb. We did lots of internet consultation and talking with Michelle back in the U.S. who is my go-to expert on these sorts of things. We basically could have taken two routes: we could have all stuck together and let the situation develop as it would, or we could separate and let Eric quarantine for 6 days or 5 days, depending on when you start counting. We decided on the latter route, which now, in retrospect, probably wasn't the best idea.

In talking to Michelle I came to understand that these newer variants of Covid are, for many people (of course not *all*) very mild for healthy people, like a cold, and like a cold also they work their way through households. So it was likely that the kids and I would come up with something.

Anyway, the kids and I arrived to Gothenburg close to midnight on Monday and, sure enough, the next morning I had a bit of a sore throat but nothing else bothered me. But we needed to be in Gothenburg to pick up the Volvo, the whole purpose of the trip, on Wednesday so since arriving to Gothenburg, the kids and I have been double-masking whenever we've been out but otherwise we've felt well. My sore throat has subsided & I basically feel fine ... just a little post-nasal drip.

People think we're totally weird for wearing masks at all because, I think, with Sweden's very casual approach to Covid from the get-go, they just think the virus will circulate however it will and people just need to go about their normal lives, which has been their approach for the last two years, which is in stark contrast, as we all know, to how the U.S. has gone about things.

My friend Ryley in Norway was sharing information with me about how Norway and Sweden have absolutely no quarantine requirements now after a positive test. Their only guideline is to stay home if you don't feel well.

It is so hard to know what to do in these Covid times, and some reading this will think we should've taken another course, but we're trying to be as cautious as we can and be responsible when we're out and about by wearing double masks and basically looking out for our own symptoms, which happily haven't been much of anything! We hope things with our health don't take a turn for the worse, but luckily the kids and I are doing well and Eric is getting through his fatigue and runny nose, which have almost entirely abated.

Anyway, we're trying to walk the middle ground between U.S. policy and Scandinavian policy. Eric will be at the end of day 5 of quarantine tomorrow night and the plan is, if he's feeling like his normal self, for him to rejoin us as we get back to Stockholm to load the new Volvo onto the ferry to head to Helsinki. Luckily we have two cabins in the ferry booked anyway, so he can stay in one and the kids and I can stay in another.

More soon!

[candlewitches]

i havent met the wee lad yet but apparently he’s very sweet and less of a handful than lola was but. that breed mix... fear...

#husky And pit And chow chow And beagle? demon dog #itll be interesting to see if his personality changes much as he grows up #he apparently is v smart and good w training tho #he know sit and paw and stay (even if u turn ur back when u walk away!) and twirl #but is still working on down lol #.txt #to be clear theres nothing wrong w those breeds i Luv pits #they just sound like a lot in combination (on paper) #and my parents are hitting their 60s and wanted a calmer dog for their last dog lol #my dads guidelines for getting a new dog after harry were: #1. a puppy or if not a puppy an Adult dog with a set temperment who was good w other dogs #(harry was a year so still a handful and needed a ton of training but had already missed the crucial socialization window n had bad habits) #2. a female and 3. not soon bc he wanted to wait before a new dog and wanted house reno to be done #cash is . a puppy but is decidedly a boy and was adopted 1.5 months after we put harry down #my dad has been a good sport about it he loves cash and wants to train him to jump thru hula hoops #so they can attach flame decals bc. johnny cash ring of fire #in my mums defense she hates not having a dog and w tris moving out and me n my sister already moved out #+my dad traveling for work after covid she didnt want to be lonely :(

[theonewiththefanfics]

Don’t Worry, Darling (one-shot)

Synopsis: Falling in love with a co-star is something that can hurt, especially when it seems like they’re talking to other people behind your back, but falling in love with a co-star and being unable to help when they’re sick, is even worse.

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, SMUT 

Warnings: COVID-19, sickness, swearing, SMUT (fingering, m going down on f, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it))

Word count: 11 968 (yoikes)

Please note I’m not trying to make light of the pandemic or the virus and those impacted by it. It’s a very real and serious thing, which is why I decided to use it. Please stay safe and healthy, follow the local health guidelines and if you have the ability please get vaccinated. Let’s keep ourselves and one another safe, frens :)

When Y/N got the call she’d gotten the role of Jack’s ex-wife who’d disappeared in mysterious circumstances, she was over the moon. As a Marvel alumnus, she was excited to work with Florence, as she’d loved Midsommar, and knowing she was going to be one of the new faces carrying the next Marvel chapter, she wanted to get to know her. Having played Tony Stark’s adopted daughter since the age of six, she was very protective of the franchise but was excited to see where it’d go.

      Then Shia LaBeouf, Chris Pine as well with Dakota Johnson’s announcements coming soon after, Y/N got even more stoked, and with Olivia Wilde leading all of them, she was sure the movie would be a hit.

      Shia and Dakota had to drop out due to scheduling issues (which Y/N couldn’t lie – she was kind of happy Shia couldn’t do it), and that's where Harry Styles took over the role of Jack with Kiki Layne Dakota’s Margaret.

      Now, when Y/N had seen Harry’s picture next to the re-cast e-mail the whole production had been sent out, she might’ve had a little (a massive, like a ginormous) freak-out. As much as she’d grown up listening to classic rock, due to Robert Downey Jr. and Iron Man, she’d been an avid One Direction fan. Like to the point, it might even seem a bit creepy. Y/N had sort of grown out of the obsessive phase of it all, but most definitely admired the solo albums they’d been able to produce, and when Dunkirk came out, she was excited to see Harry join the acting world, with the amount of talent he had.

      The first table read was sort of awkward, and definitely the weirdest one, given how a pandemic had started, and everyone was at their respective homes using Zoom. 

      Y/N and Florence had been the first to join the conversation about half an hour before the official beginning, and by the time everyone else did, they were crying from laughter and had to excuse themselves from their computers to collect whatever remaining composure they had. 

      “You two alright?” Oliva Wilde had raised her eyebrow, as the women re-joined, still chuckling. “Will we have to use body doubles for the scenes you two are in?”

      “No!

      “Nohooo!” both of them yelled through laughter. “We’ll be as professional as professionals are. Which is very professional.”

      Then Y/N made the mistake of glancing at Florence’s square, and the two busted out laughing again, spewing apologies in between, but no one seemed to really mind. In fact, it looked like they appreciated how casual and open everyone was being, hoping the set wouldn’t be stiff either when they moved onto filming.

      And for the two women, it wasn’t really. Actually, they grew closer than ever. The amount of time Florence spent in Y/N’s trailer was to the point that the two started to talk about just moving in together. After scouring the nearby apartments for rent, they settled on a three-bedroom apartment, as two-bedroom ones were non-existent. 

      When Harry grew closer to them as well, given how he spent quite some time with both women, they suggested he move in as well.

      “You know, what? I changed my mind. You’re taking away our closet, and I don't like that,” Y/N pouted, watching as Florence lifted a pile of her clothes and moved it to her room. “That’s not very ‘treat people with kindness’ of you.”

      All he did was flick a finger at her forehead, which Y/N swatted away with a smile. When he’d double-checked about moving in with them (which, mind you was the seventh time, and half his stuff was already there), the two women were ecstatic. They got along amazingly on set and basically having a sleepover with friends every night suited all of them quite well. 

      At that moment, Y/N was sitting on the edge of her bed, knitting while Harry painted all of their toes and Florence put on facemasks.

      “Wine!” Y/N suddenly exclaimed, almost knocking over the light blue nail polish bottle as she jumped up, throwing her needles back on the bed. “We need wine!”

      “Do not ruin my masterpiece!” Harry hollered after her, as she waddled away on her heels, toes separated by foam and hight up in the air. She even had to manoeuvre around the carpet to avoid any hairs and fibres that could get stuck inside the still wet lacquer.

      It took her a second to find a bottle all three of them could enjoy, given their tastes were so different – Y/N preferred sweet and red, and didn’t care if it was a three-dollar bottle from Target, Harry had a bit more of an expensive pallet, giving preference to something with a more of a lingering aftertaste and in the higher ranges of price point, while Florence liked rosé and white wines.  

      Taking two glasses in one hand and the bottle with a third glass between her fingers, she shuffled back to her room when she heard the two muttering something in low voices before Harry whispered harshly, “I’m not telling Y/N that!” 

      “Won’t me what?” Y/N’s question made him and Florence spring back where they’d been engaged in a heated conversation when she re-entered the room, putting the wine bottle and glasses on the nightstand.

      Florence waved her off, giving her a smile, she didn’t believe in. “Nothing. Now come on, Harry will do your fingernails now, and I think it’s about time the mask came off.”

      And that’s when Y/N’s heart dropped. She’d been in the industry long enough to know how fake people could be, how they could put on smiles so inviting and friendly while hiding their true intentions behind them. She just didn’t think two people she’d found so genuine and sweet would be like that.

      And the thing was – it wasn’t the first time she’d heard the two whispering like that and hushing up when they saw her enter the room or even come somewhere near to them. 

In the beginning, Y/N had chalked it up to the two being closer, given they had to spend more time together, so they knew one another better, but this time sort of solidified it wasn’t the fact the two were closer, it had to deal with Y/N specifically.

      So, she started to distance herself. She’d had enough users in her life to last her for the rest of it. Y/N excused herself from the movie nights they had on most Fridays, she no longer joined in on the cooking sessions and mostly spent time in her room, or on work calls.

      When she re-entered the flat, four weeks after their falling out, they watched as she nodded to them, and went inside her room, closing the door, much like she’d been doing for the past thirty days. 

      “Do you think she knows?” Harry asked, brows furrowed and bottom lip between his teeth as he hoped the doors would open, yet, obviously, they didn’t. 

      “Well, I haven’t told her, and unless you did, then I doubt it…”

      Harry stood up, running a hand through his hair. “I’m gonna talk to her.”

      “You think it’s a good idea?”

      “No, but if she’s upset maybe she needs to talk to someone.”

      “Or maybe she wants to be alone.”

      Harry bit his lip thinking over Florence’s words. When he was upset about something, he himself did like to kind of retreat and become a little bit of a recluse, to sort out his emotions before anyone else tried to jump in and help with it, but the thing was – Y/N’s distancing started the night when she’d walked in on the two of them arguing, and it’d been about the girl in question herself, so he shook his head. “I’ll just ask if she’s alright.”

      He took a deep breath and went to enter the room he hadn’t seen in almost a month. “Hey.” Harry poked his head through Y/N’s door, making her swirl around in her chair. She looked adorable to him. She’d changed into a big fluffy nightgown, the hood up, a headband pushing hair away from her face with a green facemask covering her skin. The domestic life flashed through Harry’s head like a freight train, as it was something he craved, but pushed it away. There was no daydreaming before figuring out what was in front of him in reality. “You okay?”

      “ 'M fine.” She shot him a quick smile. “Why? Did Olivia send something new for the script?”

      “Um, no, ‘s just you’ve been, I dunno – detached a bit?”

      “Look, Harry… I may be younger than you, but I’ve been in this industry longer than you or Florence.” Y/N stood and shrugged before crossing her arms. “And the thing is – I don’t care for shit like that. So, you two can gossip and whisper and talk whatever you want about me behind my back. Everyone else is doing that so, you’re not that special. But’ I’d prefer if you did it somewhere else besides my room, my space, and I’ll say this once, but very clearly – we’re not friends. I don’t need friends like you. We’ll be civil and we’ll do our jobs, but…” Harry’s heart broke at her eyes, seeing the pain in them as she nodded and made sure he understood where she stood. “We’re not friends.”

      She didn’t leave any room for argument. When Harry left, Y/N didn’t even look over her shoulder to see him exit.

      The next couple of mornings she didn’t see them leave nor come back, seeing as Y/N had the week off from filming, but the morning of the seventh day was awkward as hell, given how all of them had to go and get tested, and well, they had their allocated time slots one after the other. Usually, they’d take one car together, but this time, Y/N drove off on her own, while Harry and Florence carpooled on their own.

      The tests were always nerve-wracking. If one person went down, the whole production did for at least two weeks. And as much as she hated going in alone, she was glad no one was with her in the car, because as she stepped out, a certain notion swept over her that this would be a lot different than usual.

      A doctor dressed head to toe in protective gear motioned for her to sit down, as another processed her ID and work ID. Her leg was bouncing up and down the whole time, and he eyed her. If she could see his lips, she was sure they’d be pursed. “Anything wrong?” He handed her back the IDs before moving to the table where a set of large q-tips seemed to lay in sterile packs.

      Y/N sighed, biting her lip and nodded. “Woke up with a sore throat and a small cough appeared on my way here as well. I wiped and cleaned everything down at the apartment I’m staying at and wore gloves and a mask the whole time.”

      “Anything else?” the doctor asked, writing down each word as Y/N said. “The feeling of breaking bones, fever, muscle pain, eyes hurting when you look up, lost sense of smell or taste?”

      “No, nothing like that. Just a sore throat and a small cough.”

The doctor let out a large sigh, probably from having to wear a full-on hazmat suit. “Alright. Just for safety reasons, so we know who’s a potential contact person, who are you staying with?”

      “Florence Pugh and Harry Styles. We’re renting an apartment together.”

      “Do you know if they’ve had any symptoms?”

      “No,” Y/N shook her head honestly. “And I haven’t really interacted with them this past week, as they’ve been on set, and I didn’t have any scenes to film, and by the time they get back, I’m already asleep, and I’m still asleep when they leave so there’s been no direct contact. We have our own kitchenware, so there shouldn’t be any direct contact. I think.”

      That last bit was half-true, seeing as she hadn’t been asleep when they came back, but she might as well have been. The second Y/N heard the door click, she’d place her headphones on or leave the room, only glimpsing the two faces falling as she did that.

      The doctor clearing his throat and motioning for Y/N to open her mouth so he could take a swab and then to do the same for both her nostrils, was what brought her out of it. She was so used to it, it was like nothing at that point. “Okay. We’ll need you to stay in the car while the test is being run, and if it comes back positive, you’ll be placed in a separate flat, as to not endanger the rest.”

      Her ‘alright’ was barely audible. Fuck. It just felt like the universe was against her. First, the two people she’d gotten closest to were whispering behind her back and being fake to her face, now she might have a super contagious virus to which there was no medicine really, nor was there a vaccine, let alone the thought she’d have to miss filming for potentially more than two weeks.

      The thirty minutes of wait were agonizing, her leg bouncing up and down. Y/N’s eyes kept watching the line of cars slowly move forward through the tent and then settle behind hers. She knew Harry was about five cars away, and she was glad he wasn’t closer. They weren’t really allowed to get out of their vehicles while the tests were being run, and Y/N didn’t think she’d be able to not look back at him through her review mirror. 

      Two more minutes passed when finally, one of the med students in the full hazmat suit came up and knocked on her car window.

      “Miss Y/L/N?”

      “Yes?” 

      “ID please.” It was standard so that no med info got leaked. The only reason she had to rummage through her stuff was, because she’d bite the little plastic card in half if she didn’t throw it somewhere deep inside her bag.

      “So.” The man sighed, and he didn’t need to elaborate. Y/N understood, but still, he had to confirm it to her. “Your test came back positive for COVID-19. The production has been informed, and for safety reasons, everyone will have to self-isolate for two weeks.”

      Y/N’s head slammed against the back of the seat. “Fuck. Okay.”

      “Because so far, you’re the only positive case, you’ll be placed into quarantine. We’ll need the address you’re staying at, and if you need anything from your apartment, we can send someone over to grab a few things. You’ll have to follow the black SUV right there.” He pointed further down the lot where indeed a black SUV stood. “They’ll take you to where the quarantine apartments are. Is there anything immediate you’ll need?”

      “I – uh – I need my pills, my birth control that is. I take it every evening. Computer, chargers. That’s the most immediate I can think of. Maybe some food? I didn’t get the chance to eat breakfast.”

      Even through the mask, Y/N could see the man smile. “Well arrange that. In the meantime, here’s the number for the coordinators who’ll get you the rest of your things and deliver them to you.”

      “Thank you. I’ll call my assistant, and she’ll drive down to the apartment. She knows where everything is.”

      “Have you been in close contact with her?”

      “Just through the phone. She hasn’t been on set in almost a month, as I told her only to come when it’s an emergency… Guess this is it.” Y/N let out an awkward chuckle.

      And truly that was it. With one last motion as to where the SUV stood, she started back up the engine, reversed out of the spot and followed the car to where the ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ production had set up a few quarantine apartments, specifically for actors and crew, speed-dialling her assistant Anna and letting her know of the situation.

      “Shit, girl,” she’d cursed. “That sucks.”

      “Tell me about it.”

      “Okay,” Anna huffed. “Do you have a spare key for the apartment by any case or do I need to go down to the lot and ask Harry or Florence?”

      “Both of them will be at the apartment, given how everything’s shut down, so they should be able to open the door for you. Hopefully, if both of them are negative. If not, call me, I’ll tell you where we hide the spare. Thank you, Anna.”

      “Of course.”

      As Y/N pulled up behind the SUV, a man and a woman in face guards and masks stepped out. She ended the call and stepped out as well, pulling on a cloth face mask, an envelope in their hands, which they handed to her.

      “Your flat’s on the third floor, 367. When you have the list of things you need, forward them to us, and we’ll gather your things.”

      Y/N nodded and gave them a tight smile. “Thank you. I’ll be as quick as I can.”

      With a sigh, she took her bag and entered the complex. As much as she’d only had a small cough in the morning and a sore throat, walking up those flights of stairs made her winded more than it usually would. Maybe it was the knowledge she had a sickness, or maybe it was stress about missing work and putting everyone on lockdown, or maybe it was the combination of it all with her falling out with Harry and Florence on top.

      She placed the key in the lock and twisted, revealing a studio type apartment, and it was so bare it made her heart clench. As much as she felt awkward being around Florence and Harry, their flat was a bit messy, had little pieces of clothing thrown around, giant knitted blankets on the sofas, a candle always lit whenever someone was home. Harry’s shoes were typically all over the place while Y/N’s make up was scattered around everywhere. Literally. Florence and Harry had gotten back early one morning from a night shoot and found her looking under the sofas for one of her lash glues as she started to get ready for the day. They’d made that flat their home for the time being. This… this was nothing like that.

      She threw the keys on the small kitchen counter and shrugged off her jacket. They was going to be a long two weeks. At best.

 ***

       Back at their place, Florence and Harry were pacing around, having heard the news that someone was positive, and everything had to shut down for the time being, yet Y/N was nowhere to be seen when a knock at the door disrupted them.

      Harry was there and flinging it open in a matter of a second, only to be stopped by Anna instead of Y/N.

      “Hey.” His brows furrowed as she and two people all wearing masks and gloves entered. “What’s going on? Is Y/N alright?”

      Anna sighed, nodding her head for the two strangers to go towards the woman’s room. “She was the one who tested positive for the virus. Gave me a list of the things she’d need while in quarantine. We’re here to pick ‘em up and get them to her.”

      “And she’s not doing that here?”

      “Per the safety instructions, she’s been placed in a separate flat in self-isolation.”

      “She could’ve done that here. We’d be fine with it,” Florence butted in, arms crossed over her chest. “We’re more than willing to take care of her. She’ll need someone to help her.”

      “You both tested negative.” One of the people piped up, carrying a box of books and yarn. “I’m sorry, but she’ll have to quarantine separately until she’s no longer infected. She’s under the supervision of doctors, and she knows if an emergency happens, they’ll be there in ten minutes tops. I’m sorry, but this is how it has to be.”

      Harry sighed, nodding as the people exited their place, but before Anna could leave, he took hold of her bicep. “Hey, can you please tell her to call me? I just wanna talk.”

      “I uh – ” Anna furrowed her brows, showing Harry that Y/N hadn’t said anything to her about the falling out they’d had. “I’ll uh, yeah. I’ll do that.”

      With that he was left to close the door and just wait for… anything.

 ***

       In the two hours Y/N had spent in the apartment, she already felt like going insane, having been left alone with her thoughts, so how she was going to do another two weeks after finally getting back into the rhythm of work was beyond her. She didn’t have any of her knitting supplies, didn’t have any of her books (yet), and most likely there was no reason to look at her script anymore, as she’d made up her mind about a lot of things. 

      There was a knock at the door, and Y/N instantly had a mask on her face and gloves on her hands. She peeped through the peephole and when she saw boxes lined in the hallway, three people in masks and faceguards at least six feet away, only then did she open the door and give them a wave.

      “Everything should be here, but if you need anything else just pop me a message.” Anna then pointed at a bag that sat atop everything. “There are the most important things, so you don’t have to rummage through everything and a pizza is on the way while I do some grocery shopping for you. And umm, there’s a paper you need to sing that you know you need to be in self-isolation and that you understand what happens if you’re not.”

      Y/N hoped all of them understood she was smiling underneath the mask, grateful for having them help her out like that. “Thank you. So much.”

      She rushed inside found a pen and signed it, moving between the boxes to place the papers on the stairs so that they could be safely retrieved. With that, the two assigned people left, leaving Anna to say goodbye.

      “Call me.” She pointed at Y/N. “No matter what, even if you just wanna talk for five seconds.”

      “Will do.” Y/N nodded and gave her a thumbs up. “If I could, I’d hug you.”

      Anna sighed, cocking her head. “Same. And umm, Harry told me to ask you to call him.”

      “Yeah, uh thank you.” She knew he probably wanted to talk, so it wasn’t that big of a surprise, but it still made her stumble on her words. “Take care, Anna.”

      “You too.”

***

       The next two days Y/N spent worrying as to how to present her decisions to the cast and crew. She felt worse with every hour, and with that had come her thought process, but as much as everyone was going to be impacted by what she was going to do, Olivia would be the one dealing with it most, so later that night she hopped on a Zoom call with her director.

      “Hey, girl.” Olivia gave her a warm smile, and Y/N almost melted. God, she loved that woman. She was like the older sister she never had. “How are you doing?”

      “I’m alright. Feelin’ kind of woozy from time to time, throat’s killing me, and I’m fairly certain I’m getting abs from how much I’m coughing.” That made both of them chuckle before Y/N bit her lip and ran a hand through her hair. “Look,” she sighed, looking at Olivia. “The reason I called you is that umm… well, I think it’d be a lot more cost-effective for you to re-cast me. We’ve barely shot one scene with me. I’ll be out of commission for two weeks, as a minimum. It could get worse. And I’m definitely not going to be back before I get two negative consecutive tests.”

      Olivia shook her head, running down her hands over her face and then through her hair. “Y/N, I really don’t want to do this. There’s a reason we cast you. You’re amazing, and yours and Harry’s chemistry is off the charts. We’re all quarantining for two weeks, and I’m sure you’ll be fine in no time, back on set and killing it like you always do.”

      “You don’t know that.”

      “Of course, I do! Nothing’s gonna happen to you.”

      “All I’m saying it could take up to a month to get those two negative tests. By that point, you could’ve shot at least a fourth of my scenes. Olivia…” Y/N gave her a small, sad smile. “I know you know I’m right. I hate to pass on this, but I won’t hinder the production. If you want my input, I’ll help with the re-casting, if it takes the guilt away.”

      “I still feel like shit this is an option we even have to consider.”

      “’S not your fault. You didn’t get me sick. We should be happy it’s just me, not someone else or more than one person.”

            ***

      For two more days, it was radio silence from Y/N, and Harry and Florence were anxious messes. If they could distract themselves from the falling out while on set, then now, having to be cooped up inside the apartment with pretty much nothing to do, was so much worse, not to mention Y/N declined all of their calls and left their messages on read, leaving the only option for checking in either through Anna or what she decided to share on her social media, which wasn’t a lot. But the thing was, Harry knew his best bet was to call Y/N in the middle of the night. Disorientated and barely awake, she probably wouldn’t look at the caller ID once. And he was right.

      A bleary face appeared on his screen, eyes squinting as she tried to block out as much of the light as possible. “Hello?” Her voice was scratchy, and Harry’s heart clenched at just how much pain her throat must be in, let alone how she was feeling as a whole.

      “Hey, there, lovie.”

      It took her a second to comprehend the person who was speaking, and she’d be lying if she said hearing Harry’s voice didn’t bring her some sort of joy. “Hey, H. Are you alright? Why are you still up?”

      “I couldn’t sleep. Kept thinking about you.”

      Y/N hummed, rolling on her side, and immediately regretting it as the action elicited a coughing fit. “Yeah?” she asked hoarsely. “ ’Nd what about me?”

      ‘How shitty I feel about everything’, ‘I miss you’, ‘I’m so fucking terrified’, but instead he asked, “How are you doing?”

      “Alright,” Y/N croaked out before her body was racked with coughs once more. Harry’s own chest hurt just hearing them. “Fever’s finally down, so I’m getting some sort of sleep. Throat’s killing me though, and they’ve hooked me up to an IV. They’ll be coming in two hours or so to change the bag. How are you?” she asked quietly. “How’s Florence?”

      “She’s alright. Upset. Just like I am.”

      Y/N’s brows furrowed. “Why’re you upset?”

      “Are you kidding me? You’re sick, alone in quarantine and… and we can’t help you. I can’t help you.”

      A genuine chuckle escaped her. “Didn’t know you had a medical degree, Styles. Could be my personal nurse. Fetch me my water and shit.”

      “No, but at least I’d like to be there for you.”

      “Harry…” 

      “I like you,” he said after taking a deep breath, hoping that the break he’d heard in Y/N’s voice as she’d said his name wasn’t just because of the sickness, but because her heart thudded just as fast as his when he thought of them together, that her mind reeled with the possibilities of where their futures could take them and that whenever they touched, she could feel the electricity that ran through his fingertips, igniting his whole body. “That’s what Florence and I were whispering about all the time. Is that I’m madly crushing on you, and I couldn’t gather the courage to say it to you.”

      A strong coughing fit made her drop the phone on the bed and lean over, as she gasped for breath, and through it all, all Harry wanted was to be there. Fuck him possibly getting the virus, as long as he could make it easier for her in some way. 

      “ ’M sorry,” Y/N whispered, trying to keep her voice as low as possible as to not aggravate her throat. “Harry, I’m so sorry.”

      “Hey, there’s nothing to apologise. You’re sick, you can’t help –”

      “No,” she shook her head. “I’m sorry I assumed you and Florence were talking bad behind my back. I never should’ve done that. And this is not an excuse, I’m not trying to shift the blame from being in the wrong, but I like you too.” She gave him a shy grin that he thought was as bright as the sun. “I really like you too, Harry. I think that’s why it hurt so much to hear you two whispering ‘bout something. And thinking it was about me, and it was something bad, hurt even more, ‘cause I really connected with Flo, and I kinda, well I kind of fell for you. Hard.”

      “You did?” His tone was like he didn’t believe what his ears were hearing.

      “Yeah. A lot actually… I – I really like you, Harry.”

      He couldn’t explain how his heart expanded in his chest while simultaneously was being crushed by his inability to help, by the distance between them, while the hope that glimmered in his eyes at Y/N’s words made her heart break as much as his was, when he asked, “So you won’t resign?”

“Harry,” Y/N made her voice as tough as it could sound with her condition. “I told them to re-cast me not because of you. I’ve been on enough sets and worked with enough pricks, and still gotten the job done. Genuinely, this is not because of you or Florence. I just – I just don’t want to hold up production. You’ll all be out in what – twelve days or something? I’ll be here for at least twice that, if everything goes the way it’s going right now.”

      “I don’t want anyone else to play Larie. You are my Larie,” he muttered, which made Y/N smile, but in a true Y/N fashion she just wanted to make others feel better. 

      “You do know Jack murders Larie in the middle of the night.”

      Harry’s mouth opened like a fishes’ while Y/N’s mouth pulled up in a grin. “That’s – that’s not what I mean, and you know it!”

      Both of them were laughing now, all tension having evaporated. 

      “I know.” She bit on her lower lip. “But um… we’ve gotta be practical. I sent Olivia my resignation letter already, and she signed.”

      She saw Harry sigh and throw back his head at her words. 

      “ ’M sorry, Haz. I didn’t want to but –”

      “I know.” His smile was gentle, understanding. “You always put everyone before yourself. God, this just sucks major ass.”

      “Trust me,” Y/N started before being interrupted by another major coughing fit. “I –,” she took in a breath. “I know.”

      Her heart cracked seeing Harry’s face and his green eyes, the eyes she’d gotten lost in more times than she’d ever admitted being lined by tears. “I wish I could help you.”

      “But you are. Just by – by talking to me, by keeping my mind off things. You’re helping me more than you’ll ever know.”

      “When you get out, I’m taking you on a date.”

      Y/N couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on her face. For the first time in a while, she felt good, despite being sick. “Is that a threat, Styles?”

      “It’s a fucking promise.”

      That night she fell asleep listening to Harry talking, seeing as it became harder and harder for her to do so, so he just took over, telling her stories that lulled her to dreamland where he was there, and she could touch him. 

      The following days she also had calls with Florence and the rest of her cast to explain the situation, but she wasn’t doing much talking anymore, and one night they’d even seen her almost throw up from coughing so much, which broke everyone’s hearts. They were lucky the only Covid case before Y/N had been a light one, so witnessing just how brutal it could be, made everyone appreciate what they had, but at the same time, feel as helpless as ever.

      A week and a half in, that was when shit really hit the fan. Despite her feeling shitty the previous days, now Y/N woke up from the feeling as if she was drowning. She’d fallen asleep while talking with Harry on FaceTime, his features illuminated on her phone. At first, she thought it was just her dream still lingering and causing that effect, but when after a minute or so her lungs still remained on fire, she knew she had to dial the doctors.

      In five minutes’ time, an ambulance was at her door, and it was a miracle she’d been able to get out of bed to open it because the second she did, her whole body pretty much collapsed into the arms of one of the nurses. 

*** 

      “Come on,” Harry muttered into the phone, pulling on a pair of trousers as quickly as possible and a knitted sweater he took from the floor as he immediately tried to redial her, having heard the call drop. “Come on! Pick up, Y/N!” Her voicemail answered instead.

      “Damn it!”

      It took Harry seven minutes with the way he was driving to get to her assigned isolation place, only to be greeted by red and blue flashing lights, an ambulance right in front of the entrance, and it took Harry five seconds to feel his heart drop as a team of three doctors wheeled out a gurney on which lay Y/N, face covered in a mask, an IV stuck inside her arm while a huge plastic cover domed over her body.

      Without even thinking about himself or his safety, Harry jumped out of his car, rushing towards the ambulance.

      “Sir.” One of the doctors extended a palm towards him, keeping him back as Harry tried to get towards the inside of the car. “Sir, you can’t be here.”

      “Is that Y/N?” Harry felt like he was spinning out of control, and his mind was dizzy from not being able to take in a proper breath. “Is – is that Y/N?” 

      “Are you family?”

      “I –,” Harry so desperately wanted to say yes, to say he was her boyfriend at least, but he couldn’t lie. “No, I’m just her collegue – friend! I’m her friend. Is she alright?”

      “Okay, well is there anyone we can contact from her family?”

      Harry nodded, knowing that her mum and dad were on her emergency contact lists. “But her family is out of the country, and they won’t be able to fly out with all the restrictions in place.”

      “Alright.” The doctor sighed before looking back inside the car. In a way, Harry was happy he couldn’t see Y/N because he was sure if he did, he’d completely break down and crumble to the ground. “We’ll contact her parents, but if you could leave us your number as an emergency contact on place that’d be a lot of help.”

      “Okay, uh…” Harry took in a deep breath, held it for five seconds and then let it out before reciting the number he used while in the USA and his permanent UK number as well, so he could be reachable anywhere and at any point in day or night, no matter the time. 

      “Well keep you up to date.”

      And with that, the ambulance doors shut, and they rushed away, the vailing of sirens echoing in the dark night, leaving Harry with a hand in his hair, tears streaming down his cheeks and without a clue as to what to do.

***

      In the end, Harry had gone back to his car and cried for what felt like ages, but instead, it was just twenty minutes. He pulled himself together but was still shaking as he made his way back to the flat where Florence basically ripped open the door. Seeing his face told her everything she needed to know.

      “She’ll be alright,” the woman muttered as she soothed Harry by rubbing a palm up and down his back, letting him hide his face in her shoulder. “It’s Y/N. She’d pull through an atomic bomb.”

      They spent the rest of the night and the following day on the couch, glued to Harry’s phone waiting for any sort of updates. From time to time a text message came from the hospital letting them know what procedures were being done on Y/N, that her parents have been informed, and if necessary, they’d allowed Harry to be the main contact person because of his proximity to their daughter.

      Three days later and the quarantine for the rest of the cast and crew ended, yet when they returned to the set, everyone was in low spirits. Especially, Harry – he was miserable. Every moment spent not reciting lines or acting was occupied with the thoughts of Y/N, how she was doing, was she improving, was she still breathing, how he wanted to just ditch everything and run to her, to help in whatever way he could.

      “This sucks,” Florence grumbled, arms crossed over her chest as they took a break while re-setting already in for the fifth day of filming, eight since Y/N’d been in the hospital. “Can’t believe they won’t allow a phone in with her.”

      “It’s the same policy for everyone, but trust me,” Harry sighed and looked up at the bright blue sunny sky above. “The number of times I got out of my bed in the middle of the night and had the car keys in hand is ridiculous. And the number of times I’ve thought about breaking into that hospital is even more concerning.”     

      Florence let out a small chuckle and nudged his shoulder. “I’d cover for you if you did. As long as she doesn’t have to be there alone.” She hung her head, blond strands falling down to curtain her face. “Can’t imagine how scared she must be.”

      Harry just sighed. There really wasn’t anything he could say. 

      Something vibrated in his pocket, but he no longer furrowed his brows when unknown numbers called, knowing it was from the hospital. It was nerve-wracking though to pick up the call each time because he had to mentally prepare himself for the possibility of bad news, even though he always hoped for good ones. 

      “Yes, hi. Hello. I – oh,” he put a hand over his mouth and sagged down onto a chair. “Oh, thank god, thank you, doctor. Yeah. Yes, I’ll let her know, and someone will be there to open the flat. Thank you again. For everything.”

      He took away the phone from his ear and stared at the ground for a minute before leaping up and hugging Florence, laughter escaping his mouth.

      “What’s wrong?”

      “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong, it’s the opposite. Y/N’s out of the hospital.”

      “Oh thank god!” Her hands flew to hug him back.

      “She’ll have to stay in self-isolation until the two negative tests and will be monitored by the doctors, but she’s out.”

        Immediately he was dialling her, and Harry had never been as happy for the invention of a video call, because when he saw Y/N’s face light up the screen, as tired as she looked, it was the most beautiful sight that graced his eyes.

      “Hey, lovie.” His voice was soft and low as if anything louder would worsen her state.

      Her ‘hey’ was barely audible, but he heard it, and it made the weight of a boulder drop off his shoulders.

      “I’m so – I mean we all are so happy you’re back home.”

      Y/N smiled, shaking her head. “I’m happy too,” she whispered. “I missed you. Missed everyone, but most of all I missed you.”

      Harry was happy they were separated by a screen because if she was anywhere in a five-mile radius, he was sure she would be able to hear his heart beat out of his ribcage at her words. “How are you feeling?”

      “ ‘M alright,” Y/N tried to let him know. “Very tired.”

      “Then get back to sleep, lovie.”

      Y/N shook her head. “Wanna talk to you.”

      “I’ll keep talking,” Harry promised. “Like we did before, okay.”

      “Okay…”

      And so, he did. He kept talking as Y/N listened, and he watched as her eyes slowly closed before she drifted off to sleep. Even though Harry had to go back to filming, he didn’t dare end the call. He’d never end the call. 

***

      It took a month and a half for Y/N to get those two consecutive negative tests, to feel somewhat human again and when she did, she probably garnered at least seven speeding tickets with how fast she was driving down to the set.

      It was the most inconspicuous outfit she could scramble together, consisting of a hoodie and baseball cap, as she watched Harry as Jack lean down to peck the actress’s lips, then step into the vintage car and rev out in the driveway, while a dishevelled Florence started the scene from the side, eyes racking over Jack’s first wife, who was dressed the exact same way, hair styled like hers and even nails painted the same, her character putting all the puzzle pieces together. 

      “And cut!” Olivia yelled across the lot, nudging Y/N’s side and giving her a smirk. “He’s gonna freak. You’re all he’s been talking about on set. We almost had to put a ban on you as a topic,” she muttered that part so only the woman could hear while telling everyone to re-set, so they could do the scene from another angle, but not before asking the three actors to come and look at the monitors so they could understand how to move in order to keep the continuity.

      Y/N moved to the side, ducking her head down as Harry, Florence and Mandy, the actress that took over her role, all leaned closer to watch the monitors. Y/N had to bite on her lip to keep the grin away, as all of them analysed their movements and the scene, nodding along to what Olivia was saying.

      “Y/L/N, what do you think?” Olivia asked, grinning. 

      Y/N stepped forward a bit, seeing all of their shocked faces through her peripheral, as she pointed to the screen, lifting her head so that everyone could see her face fully. “I think it’s great, you might want to step to the side a bit more, Harry, when –” but she was unable to finish the sentence as he swooped her in his arms, lifting her basically off the ground, and burying his face in her neck.

      “Watch the hair! Daniele will have a fit if you ruin her masterpiece!” Y/N laughed, holding one of her hands on the base of his neck, the other tightly wrapped around his shoulders, but he just shook his head, and she could feel tears splash her skin.

      “Fuck the hair!” He let out a small chuckle, and she could hear the lump in his throat. “I’ve missed you so much. I was so scared.”

      “Same,” Y/N whispered. “Missed you like crazy. And your stupid, unfunny dad jokes.”

      “ ‘M hilarious, lovie, what are you talking about?”

      He finally set her down but didn’t let go of her waist, and she smiled cupping his cheeks. “A true comedian, that’s what you are.”

      “I know. Why’dya think I got that SNL slot?”

      But his eyes, as he gazed into hers once more glassed over.

      “Hey,” Y/N cooed wiping away the tears running down his cheeks. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry, cause then I’ll cry, and we’re both gonna be crying messes, and then these guys will have to deal with that.”

      Harry sighed, leaning into her touch. “Happy tears, lovie. All happy tears.”

      The two looked at one another as if there was no one else in the universe. And for the two of them, there really wasn’t. Neither had to say what was on their minds, they already knew.

      His face was inching closer to Y/N’s, and heart started to beat erratically, not that Harry minded, as his palm rested in the middle of her back. In fact, his own heart mimicked the rhythm, but it stuttered when someone behind him cleared their throat and interrupted their moment.

      Y/N hid her face in Harry’s chest as he sighed at Olivia’s raised eyebrow. 

      “You’ll be able to smooch as much as you want, but we need him in hair and make-up.”

      “Oli-“

      “Now,” she let out a small laugh. “Before Daniele removes my head from my shoulders.”

      “Go,” Y/N patted his side. “I’ll still be here.”

      “Is that a threat?”

      She grinned up at him. “A fucking promise.”

      Harry dashed away like lightning, hoping that the quicker he was done, the sooner he could have Y/N back in his arms even if it was for a second, but her attention was taken by a woman with long blond curls, a flowing green slip on her figure; her steps unsure as was the wave she gave her, but Y/N’s heart melted at the sight of her.

      “Hey, Flo,” she whispered and brought the girl in a bone-crushing hug, holding onto her, trying to convey how much she regretted her words and actions, especially because they were unwarranted.

      “I’m so sorry,” Y/N said, and she nodded.

      “Me too.”

      Y/N shook her head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry about. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

      “And I should’ve made sure Harry pulled his head out of his ass.”

      That made both of them laugh, and it was nice to do it not only without having to cough up her insides, but to do it with someone she’d connected with and had become great friends with.

      “He did that. I just hope if he wants to make another move, it won’t take me dying to push him to.”

      Florence pointed at her, a serious look on her face. “I’ll kill him with my bare hands if he does.”

      A small noise of someone clearing their throat from behind Y/N took both of their attentions for them to go onto the actress who’d been cast as her replacement, the woman coming forward and extending her hand for a handshake with a nervous smile. “Hi. I’m Mandy.”

      “ ‘S very nice to meet you.” Y/N tried to give off as open and accepting of a vibe as much as possible, because she genuinely wanted Mandy to feel respected and that she wasn’t a threat. “Before you think anything if you’re worried about me taking the role, don’t. It’s all yours, so don’t worry about that. I just stopped by ‘cause I hadn’t seen anyone in almost two months. Never thought I’d say this, but fuck did I missed people.”

      Mandy shook her head, her smile a lot lighter and brighter now. “I – uh thank you for that actually. I’m a huge fan of yours, and well, can only try and live up to what you would’ve portrayed.”

      “Well, I’m sure you’ll absolutely kill it, and I can’t wait for the movie.”

      It was great to see Mandy’s shoulders drop in relief. “Would it be too much if I asked for advice on the role?”

      “No,” Y/N laughed. “But I would say that you should make this role your own. It is yours. You are Larie now. And Harry’s Jack. Make it yours.”

      As she said that, she turned to watch Harry who was practically bouncing on his feet, green eyes flitting back to where she was standing, and when their gazes met, neither could help the smiles blooming on their faces.

       “You know he messed up a scene once and said your name?”    

      Y/N’s brows furrowed as she looked over at Mandy. “What do you mean ‘said my name’?”

      “It was a kissing scene. The wedding bit, actually. As Jack and Larie recited their vows, and he leans down to kiss her, he was supposed to say, ‘I’ll love you Larie, until the very end’. He said your name instead.”

      That hit Y/N more than a semi-truck wheeling a ton of bricks would. Yes, she knew Harry liked her, and he knew she liked him, but love was a big word, and for him to admit that, whether it was a flub or not, was even bigger.

      Harry was a private person. While he openly talked about what he felt, he guarded heart at the same time, much like Y/N did. But she had to wait until Olivia yelled cut for the day, and had to watch him make a mad dash for hair and make-up before running to the dressing trailer as he didn’t want to miss out on a second he could spend with her. Even as they walked up to their shared flat and he opened the door, his fingers stayed intertwined with hers.

      “How does it feel to be back?”

      “Kinda shitty, honestly,” Y/N laughed throwing the keys to the table and shrugging out of the jacket and taking off the cap, Harry immediately helping her and putting it on one of the racks. “I’ll have to move out, now that I’m not part of the movie.”

      “Why? ‘S not like the production is paying our rent, we’re doing it out of our own pocket.”

      “Yes, but now that I don’t have a job, I kinda need to look for one.”

      “And what says that you can’t live here while you do that?”

      “I –,” Y/N’s brows furrowed. “I mean nothing, really… I just… kinda thought because I’m not part of the movie anymore it’d be safer if I found my own place. But um… I think I have something else I’d like to talk about. Mandy,” Y/N dragged out her name a bit, a sly smirk appearing on her face, “told me you had a flub on set.”

      Harry’s heart was pounding underneath her palm where she’d grabbed onto the lapels of his dress shirt, so he couldn’t run away. 

“I’ve uh,” he let out a nervous laugh. “I’ve had a couple of flubs on set. Who hasn’t?”

      “I don’t doubt that. But she said you misspoke a name.”

      She made him look into her eyes and wouldn’t dare let their gaze break. “You said my name during the wedding scene. You said Y/N. Not Larie.”

      Harry looked like a cross between a deer in headlights and a fish out of the water, eyes wide with his mouth opening and closing, no sound coming out, which made Y/N worry a bit.

      She placed a palm against his cheek. “Harry? You alright?”

      “I – I meant it.” He let out a deep sigh and leaned down to press his forehead to hers. “And when I thought back on it, I don’t remember seeing her face or Larie’s face. It was yours. And the lips I was kissing belonged to you too. I was holding your hand, and you were holding mine. And I know it’s way too quick, for a wedding -”

      “Unless you threaten me with it –”

      “I –,” Harry stuttered before laughing, all tension evaporating from his body. “No, that I don’t want to be a threat. That will be a question asked with love and hopefully an answer given to it the same way.”

      Y/N nudged his nose with hers. “Well, we’ll see. I mean if you don’t kiss me what makes you th–,” 

      But she didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence before his lips were on hers, pressing with such gentleness, it made her weak at the knees, and she would’ve crumbled if Harry’s arms handn’t woven around her middle, fingers pressing into the sides, the pressure increasing with each second their mouths were connected. 

      Harry’s hand drifted up Y/N’s back and settled on her neck as if he could pull her any closer, her own palms slipping over his stomach, pecks and grabbing onto his jaw, fingers lightly scratching at the stubble that’d grown throughout the day. He had to shave every morning for the role of Jack, but each evening she’d see a small, darkened shadow across his skin, and Y/N would be lying that when she’d realised her attraction to him, she hadn’t thought about how delicious it would feel to have it leave small burn marks on the inside of her thighs. 

      Unconsciously, she clenched her thighs, trying to create some sort of friction which became more and more unbearable as she felt Harry moan into her mouth, tongue sweeping against her lower lip, asking for permission without words, which Y/N granted without a second to spare. 

      It was heavenly to have him so close to her. She did wonder if the sensation was intensified by the fact, she hadn’t been able to touch anyone properly for almost two months, but that thought vanished when his fingers skimmed underneath her hoodie, brushing against her heated skin. No. It was because it was Harry.

       “I –,” he was breathless as he pulled away, but Y/N didn’t let him get too far, her lips attaching themselves to his neck, making him groan in pleasure. “I don’t want to push this too far.”

      Her brows scrunched up, as she took a look at him. “What do you mean? If you think I don’t want this, then let me be perfectly clear – I do. A lot.”

      Harry chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m so fucking glad you do, but… Y/N you just got out of the hospital, where you were on a ventilator. I don’t want to make anything worse.”

      “Not your choice to make.” A devious smile appeared on her face, as she stepped a few feet away and lifted her hoodie over her head, making Harry inhale sharply. “So here are your two options.” Her hands went behind her back, unclasping her bra and letting it slowly drop to the floor, the green eyes that hadn’t left her now wide as saucers. “Number one.” She toed off her boots and popped open the button of her jeans. “We can stop this, obviously, just say the word, and I get to my room, start packing and looking for a new place. We can have some dinner and just chill. Or number two.” Y/N hooked her jeans behind her thumbs and slowly dragged them down her legs, revealing more and more of herself to Harry. “We can go inside your room and make up for the lost time. In every position imaginable, for as long as you want. But.” Y/N’s eyes glimmered with mischief as she made her way to Harry’s room. “I don’t think you wanna take the first option.”

      Harry ran a hand through his hair, turning it from the meticulously gelled hairstyle into a mop of messy strands. “You know you’re making it really hard for me to be a gentleman.”

      Y/N swayed her hips a bit more as she took another step closer to his room, the door meeting her back, and one of her hands went to the doorknob, pressing down on it. “Well, a gentleman doesn’t kiss before the first date, and definitely not like that.”

      He stood there, hands on his hips, eyes not leaving her body, as she cocked her head. “So, what’s it gonna be?”

      They were ten torturous seconds for both, hearts beating out of their chests, but it only took three steps for Harry to cross the hallway, his hand sneaking behind Y/N’s back and pressing down on the doorknob as well, revealing the inside of his room. It was messy, much like her own, but it wouldn’t take too much to rip all off the tossed around bedding leaving a whole bed to themselves. 

      “You. Are. The. Devil.”

      Her smile was nothing short of wicked. “I mean you can listen to the angel on your shoulder.”

      “I’d rather listen to you.”

      Together they stepped inside, and Y/N nodded. “Making good choices already.”

      “Can’t get on your bad side, can I now?”

      “I mean you can.” Her legs hit the back of his bed and she fell down on it, Harry leaning over, resting his elbows next to her head. “But bad boys get punished.”

      His nose skimmed over hers. Now he was the one smiling like a devil. “I’ll hold you to your word. For future reference, that is.”

      That kiss was nothing like their first. This was messy, and passionate, all tongue and teeth, hands grabbing everywhere possible to get the other unclothed. Or at least that’s what Y/N was trying to do, seeing as she was pretty much naked already, and Harry was the one still wearing too much.

      Her hands pretty much ripped open the shirt. It one of his expensive Gucci ones, she was quite certain of it, but it didn’t seem like he cared, as he shrugged it off, throwing it to land somewhere on the floor.

      Y/N sighed into his mouth as her hands were now freely allowed to run over his chest, over the ink embedded into his skin, over taut muscles that relaxed under her touch, and dig into his sides in an attempt to leave her own marks on him, much like he was going to do to her. 

      “Think you can take your pants off? It’s only fair.” Y/N muttered into his mouth and his own travelled down to her cheek, then neck and to her chest.

      “You mean my trousers?”

      Her lips quirked up and she shrugged her shoulders. “No, in this case, I meant pants the British way.”

      “And if I’m going commando?”

      Y/N pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him away from her. “You had nothing underneath all day on set?”

      “No! I wouldn’t subject the dressing department to that. But underneath this.” He looked down at his jeans and smiled at her. “I do have nothing.”

      “Well then? Get on with it!”

      Both of them were giggling, as Y/N tried to unbuckle Harry’s belt, his own fingers mixing with hers as he went for the zipper and the button. He nudged his head towards her. “Your socks and pants come off as well. Or we’ll be unevenly matched.”

      Y/N lifted her eyebrow, as she went for her own remaining pieces of clothing. “No socks during sex?”

      “No, what kind of a weirdo do you think I am?”

      “And if my feet get cold?” She threw them away somewhere.

      “We have a blanket.”

      As Harry removed his jeans and his own socks, Y/N slipped off the dampened piece of clothing that’d been on her, now both of them completely naked. 

      “Alright.” He leaned over her again, her arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling them chest to chest. “Happy now?”

      Y/N deeply kissed him. “Very. But I think we can make each other even happier.”

      “Agreed,” Harry hummed. “Wanna get a taste first.” He attached his lips to her collarbones sucking a bruise there. “Can I?”

      She groaned at the feeling, knowing there be a pleasant ache that accompanied mark. “You can. Don’t have to, if you don’t want. No need to do this for me.”

      “And if it’s for me?” Harry was moving lower and lower with each word, wet tongue flicking against a perked bud, and making Y/N gasp. “What if I wanna feel you cum on my tongue, and what if I wanna do something I’ve dreamed about for months now?”

      His hands were kneading her breasts, mouth having left a trail of kisses down the middle of her stomach as it was moving towards where an ache that’d been left untreated made itself more and more prominent. 

“Then please, please, please do something, Harry.”

      “With pleasure.”

      Luckily for Y/N, she didn’t have to beg any more, as his mouth attached itself to where she wanted him most, tongue sweeping past her lower lips and licking up a broad, steady stripe.

      One of her hands went to fist into her hair and the other into Harry’s. “Shit,” she moaned. “Fuck, that feels good.”

      “Guide me.” He licked a circle around her clit. “Tell me how you like it.”

      “Mhgm, fuck, okay,” Y/N breathed out. “I – I mean you’re doing great on your own.” Her chest was heaving as if she was running a marathon, and Harry shifted her legs so that they lay over his shoulders. “But umm, like if you lick around my clit, but like really press down li – oh, fuuuuck, just like that.”

      The coil in her stomach tightened with each pass he did, just like Y/N had instructed, small tight circles just how she did with her fingers, only what took her sometimes half an hour, Harry managed to do in less than ten minutes, to have her toes curling and hands grasping anywhere they could find purchase to just keep onto something real.

      The vibrations from Harry humming sent shivers straight to her core. “What else, lovie? What else, do you like?”

      “If – if –,” Y/N panted, “if you suck on it, but like – fuck – shit! If you kinda keep a seal around my clit, that fuck! Yes!”

      The way Harry was eating her out was almost sensational, but what made it even better wasn’t that he just decided to do something and assumed, she’d like it, he asked, he wanted to learn and discover what made her tick and turn, or in this case – cum. 

      “Harry, ‘m close,” Y/N warned him, feeling the warmth slowly start to spread all throughout her body. 

      “I’ll get you there.”

      He let his lips go for a moment before slipping two of his fingers so that they pinched her clit and moved them slowly but tightly up and down it, while his tongue went to slip inside her hole, and that did it for her.

      With a gasp of air, Y/N’s eyes rolled to be back of her head, hips lifting up as euphoria exploded through her veins. Her mind went completely dizzy, and she was quite sure some drool also dribbled down the side of her mouth because she’d lost all ability to function.

      “ -o me, love,” Y/N heard as if through a fog, and then felt two soothing palms running up and down her legs. “Come back, love. There you go.”

      A drunken smile bloomed on her face, and she ran a hand down it, the same hand that’d grabbed Harry’s hair like a vice. “Fuck. You’re good, you know what you’re doing.”

      “Well, I’m certainly glad you enjoyed yourself because I thoroughly enjoyed myself.”

      She watched as he straightened out to sit on his knees, her legs still over his shoulders, cock slapping against his stomach, and when she looked down there was a wet patch on his side of the sheets, a sly grin morphing on her face. “You liked eating me out so much you came yourself?”

      “What can I say – bringing pleasure, gives me pleasure. And your cunt’s probably the sweetest I’ve ever eaten. But… do you think you’re ready for me?” Harry asked, kissing the inside of Y/N’s thighs and watching as she vigorously nodded her head, but he just smirked. “I think I need to test it out. Just to make sure.”

       “Harry,” Y/N whined as she felt his fingers skim the apex of her thighs, teasing her. 

      “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

      With that, he used one of his hands to open up her lips, his thumb pressing down on her already sensitive clit, eliciting a gasp before he allowed two fingers to skim her entrance and then slipped in.

      “Still so tight,” he said, watching as Y/N sighed and her mouth fell open, his fingers curling in a come-hither motion. “Told you needed to check if you were ready. What kind of a gentleman would I be now, if I didn’t make sure you could take it?”

      Y/N gritted her teeth. “I can take you.”

      “Don’t doubt it.” Harry left kisses along her leg, as he continued on with his movements, noting how her hips slowly started to grind down on his palm, so he pushed his fingers in deeper so that the heel of his hand could rest against her clit, making the pleasure intensify. “But I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you when all I wanna do is give you pleasure. And you weren’t stretched out enough. Not yet at least.”

      “Oh, god, Harry,” Y/N groaned, one arm thrown over her eyes as his fingers hit just the right spot.

      “That’s it? Right there?”

      “Yes, right there,” she moaned. “Just. Fuck! Just don’t stop, please, don’t stop.”

      “Gonna cum again?”

      “Yes, just – just curl your fingers and twist them a bit more.”

      And much like the first time, a couple more times was all it took. Her orgasm was even more powerful than the previous and fully knocked her breath out of her lungs. Her legs fell open around his shoulders, stomach and chest spasming from the intensity. 

      Gentle fingers skimmed up and down Y/N’s arms and featherlight kisses fluttered over her breasts, then chest, neck and finally were peppered across her cheeks.

      “Kinda spaced out on me there. You alright? Not too much?”

      “ ’M – I’m good. But I’m pretty sure you’ve killed me.”

      Harry chuckled, and Y/N leaned her head to the side so she could press a kiss against the closest of the swallow tattoos. “Hopefully not. I still wanna take you out on that date.”

      Her eyes landed on Harry’s left hand’s ring finger, where a golden band still laid. 

      “Oh, yeah.” He lifted the digits, still covered in her cum before pushing them past his lips and licking them clean. “Forgot to remove it. Hope the prop guys don’t kill me.”

      She hated how his eyes sparkled, absolutely knowing what that sight did to her, how it made her stomach flutter and heart thunder against her ribs. Y/N was sure with the force it was pounding, they’d crack. 

      “Well, if they don’t, I will.” She pulled him down, nails raking on his skin, dragging to rest on his ass as they bit into it. “Now get inside me.”

      “Condom.”

      “No, ‘m on the pill.”

      “I’m clean, I swear, but it’s still not a hundred per cent safe.”

      Y/N shook her head. “I’ll buy the morning-after pill. Just need you inside.”

      “You sure?” Harry placed a strand of hair behind her ear. 

      “Yeah. I mean I’m clean, and uh… I just wanna feel you.”

      He’d cum once already, and Harry would be dammed if he did it again before having the chance to know how heaven feels like. As gently as possible, he took himself, giving a few strokes before nudging the tip against Y/N’s clit, her sharp inhale stalling him until she nodded. 

      Her nails dug into his biceps, as he finally slipped inside her, making both of them moan at the feeling. Even with all of the stretching out he’d done with his fingers, and the two orgasms he’d drawn from her, the slickness helping everything to be easy and smooth, Y/N still felt a little sting.

      Harry’s head dropped to Y/N’s shoulders and even from under him, she could feel his thighs and stomach shaking, as he tried to hold his composure and give her a little bit of time to adjust.

      A couple of deep breaths later, she tapped his ribs. “You can move now.”

      “ ‘ya sure?”

      “Mhm,” Y/N nodded her head and pecked his lips reassuringly. “Please.”

      His dishevelled and sweaty hair shook as he nodded and slowly drew back his hips so that just the tip of his cock remained in her before gliding back inside. The sight alone was more than enough to make both of them explode, but they wanted to last longer than thirty seconds, especially for their first time together. There’d be quickies for later, now they wanted to have a proper shag.

      Bit by bit, Harry’s pace quickened, pearls of sweat gliding down his skin and dampening the sheets below them, much like it was with Y/N. Her leg slid up to rest around his hips, giving him a better angle and more leverage for him to strike the right spot, as he pushed her knee to rest against her chest, Y/N’s head falling back to the pillow.

      Her insides were shaking from the pleasure, and it was like an invisible force was pushing down on her chest, as she struggled for a proper breath. “Harry,” she dragged out his name, the word turning into a high-pitched whine.

      “I know,” he responded in the same breathless voice. He could feel her tighten around him and wasn’t sure just how much longer he’d be able to keep up the pace. “Touch yourself ‘f me, lovie. C’mon, use those fingers.”

      Y/N did as she was told. It didn’t give her that butterfly feeling like it’d happened when they’d been Harry’s, but it did make her cum faster, and the sensation of her gushing around his cock made him lose all self-control and he spilled inside.

      It wasn’t enough for Y/N, but she guessed she needed to settle for it. She knew that nothing really ever touched in the universe, that the closest atoms ever come to touching one another is when their wave packets overlap, much like she and Harry were now overlapping, his body lying on top of hers, skin sweaty and frame trembling as he came down from his own high.

      “I uh,” Y/N cleared her throat, finger tracing the outline of one of the butterfly in the middle of Harry’s chest. “When the people came to get my stuff, I umm, asked them to take your rainbow cardigan. Wanted something that smelled like you, so I didn’t feel so alone. Was the first thing I put on when I got out of my hospital gown.”

      She felt his body rumble with laughter and a kiss being pressed to her forehead. “I know. Saw Anna stash it inside the suitcase. I uh, I was the one who also put in one of my sweaters. Know how cold you always get.”

      She hid her smile against his collarbones. “Thank you. For thinking of me.”

      “ 'M always thinking of you… Will you knit me one though?”

      Y/N raised her eyebrow. “Knit you one?”

      “Yes. I know you knit –“

      “Everyone knits nowadays.”

      Harry drew himself back a bit, and she pushed away the matted down strands from his forehead, wiping away the sweat from underneath his green eyes as well. “Yes, but the point is – there’ll be a million other Gucci shirts and sweaters and cardigans. But I’d like to have one-of-a-kind made by you. So, I have something to sleep next to when you’re not next to me.”

      Y/N ran a finger along his jawline, biting away her grin. “It’ll probably have mistakes. I’m not that good at it. ‘M not a professional.”

      “Exactly.” Harry tilted her head up with a finger and their eyes met. “Which is why it’ll be perfect.”

      “The arms will most likely be different lengths in the end.”

      “Don’t worry, darling.” He pecked her lips before hugging her and not letting go. “It’s flawless for me.”

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15​ @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64​ @supernaturalbaesduh​ @breezy1415​ @crazy--me​ @thatawkwardlittlefangirl​ @sea040561​ @staryeyedgirl​ @deathbyarabbit​ @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns​ @averyrogers83​ @in-the-end-im-still-trash​ @gallifreyansass​ @dewy-biitch​ @avxgers​ @unlikelygalaxygiver​ @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog​ @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​

A/N: My tags are always open :)

P.S. please don’t repost my work without specific written permission onto other platforms :)

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x reader smut #harry styles angst #harry styles and you #harry styles and y/n #harry styles and reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #1d fan fiction #1d #one direction #one direction imagine #eroda #harry styles eroda #Golden #fine line #florence pugh #don't worry darling

[adulthoodisokay]

Hi, anon who asked for life advice a few weeks ago. TY for the response. I just saw your recent post about therapy and remembered you'd recommended it. I know I'm having some issues, but I didn't think they were the type (trauma, abuse, etc.) that would be helped by therapy. If you don't want to answer I understand, but I was wondering generally what happens in therapy and how it helps. (If it's possible to say without revealing personal info of course)

Hey again, anon! Therapy can help with loads of things—it's helpful have a neutral sounding board to talk things over with, whether it be big or small. Therapists can help folks deal with their feelings, process their emotions, feel validated, and put things in perspective.

Everyone's therapy sessions are different, and there are MANY different approaches and kinds of therapy, but if it's helpful, here's the process I went through about a year ago with finding a new therapist:

First I asked a few friends who have mentioned going to therapy what practice they used.

I went to that practice's website and filled out a few forms indicating what I'm looking for in therapy (what issues I've dealt with in the past, and what I was currently dealing with at the time) and a bit about my medical and mental health history.

The practice emailed me back and gave me the names of 4 or 5 of their therapists that focus on some of the things I wanted to address.

I read those therapists' bios on the practice's website and picked one.

We set up an introductory session—basically a 45-minute Zoom lol. The therapist asked a bunch of questions about why I was interested in therapy, what I was currently dealing with mental health-wise, and what I've dealt with in the past.

I liked her vibe, so I began weekly sessions with her and continue to see her still! It's important to remember, though, that if you don't hit it off after a few sessions with a therapist, or don't feel like their approach is working for you, it is 100% okay to say that and to find a different therapist!

My sessions vary week to week, but they usually start with my therapist asking how I've been feeling for the past week and if there is anything in particular on my mind that I want to talk about during the session.

Sometimes something has been really bothering me and we spend the entire session talking about it—these kinds of sessions made up the bulk of the first few months of my sessions when I began seeing this therapist, cause I was Going Through A Lot. Other times we jump all over the place, talking about family and friends and work and the state of the world. Recently, for example, I've been having a lot of anxiety about COVID safety guidelines relaxing and how I still feel really anxious, like, being inside around a lot of other people not wearing a mask. During my last session, the therapist listened to me, asked about my experience during the pandemic, and reassured me that this is completely normal and I'm not alone in feeling this way, which is really validating!

As for what I get out of it? I now recognize that my emotions are valid, I better understand my motivations and my relationships, and it has truly helped me recover from the deep depression I was in. It's a safe space for me to express my emotions truly honestly, with no filter, and I'm a stronger and more self-aware person because of it.

This got really long lol. I hope this gives you some idea of what my personal experience with therapy is like. Everyone's experience is different, though!

Take care, anon! <3

#therapy #cw depression #cw anxiety #abuse mention #trauma mention #long post #personal

[garc-i-a]

Why JATP Is Taking a While to Get Officially Renewed

Thought I would put my thoughts into words on the renewal situation. We know that the show was released on Netflix on September 10, 2020. As of today, it has been 242 days (10 May 2021). Julie and the Phantoms was released under Netflix Family, marking it as a children’s show on the streaming service. It was released in the middle of the second wave of the coronavirus (in the US) that has swept the world over. The show was created by Kenny Ortega, legendary choreographer and director.

To start off, we have to acknowledge that we ARE in a pandemic. Due to that, things have been touch and go in so many industries. That includes the TV/Film industry as well. The US and Canada, the two countries involved in making the show, have to follow the rules and laws related to COVID regardless of what people in the industry want. With that, we have to pay attention to what is going on with the pandemic to know how to go about filming. 

As of right now, Canada still has closed borders from the US to nonessential travel. To get into Canada as a foreigner you have to be going for a specific reason and follow all the Covid related travel rules. To read more about this, you can go to canada.ca and type in for traveling during the pandemic. Not to mention that for a lot of areas in Canada, they are still essentially in lockdown because of the now rising numbers in the country. Charlie’s home province of New Brunswick is still pretty restricted. 

Regarding vaccinations, although the United States has been slowly getting people vaccinated, Canada has had issues with getting vaccinations and don’t nearly have as many vaccinated. It is only just a few days ago that New Brunswick started administering vaccinations in the last few days. The vaccinations are only for people who are 50+ who fall into specific medical condition guidelines. For British Columbia, where the show is filmed, vaccines started getting administered the third week of April. It is believed there is a chance of getting all* adults vaccinated by mid June. My source for this information is from a native New Brunswicker and a CTV News article.

For the cast, getting vaccinated is paramount. Owen is already vaccinated. Madison’s dad is also vaccinated so it is likely she is as well or part way there. Now for people who are NOT vaccinated yet, most vaccines are administered in two doses. The doses are done about three weeks apart (I am partially vaccinated and my first dose was already done and second is next week). This knowledge is important as people need to be aware of the timing of these things. The amount of time between vaccines and for everyone in the cast and crew is essential for everything to go smoothly with filming.

One of the big things that I have seen a lot is the outrage at other shows on Netflix being renewed before Julie and the Phantoms. There is a two fold answer to this. To start off, we have to remember that because of this pandemic, things take longer to process to be extra diligent and that more money is be used to cover for reconstructions and accommodations due to Covid. Knowing these two things, let’s delve into the renewals of other shows.

Some of the other shows that have been renewed are Fate: The Winx Saga, Bridgerton, Ginny and Georgia, and Emily in Paris. The big difference between these shows and Julie and the Phantoms is the fact they are not in the Netflix Family category. They are considered content for adults or young adults. Netflix has different rules on their shows that are put out on the regular platform versus the family section. Netflix Family rarely posts when a show is renewed so far from its premiere date for the next season. So in that respect, Julie and the Phantoms wouldn’t be given a huge announcement for the next season’s renewal if it follows the pattern of Netflix Family’s marketing.

Tying into this the matter of where the rest of the shows are filmed and the backing behind them in regards to production. The Winx show and Bridgerton are filmed in the UK, Ginny and Georgia is filmed in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, and Emily in Paris is filmed on location in France. The reason that this matters is because these places have different rules for working during this pandemic, the vaccinations levels, and the threat of getting sick from Covid. These shows are also connected to larger properties or influential individuals*. Vancouver is a popular city to film in, of course, but it has been dealing with an uptick in cases as well as in a different province than Ginny and Georgia, and as such has their own rules. We cannot take into the likes of Riverdale or other shows that are filming right now in Vancouver. Lots of these shows were renewed and set to film already when the pandemic hit. They do not factor into things.

The last part of this is the production costs for making the show. As mentioned before, Vancouver is a popular city to film in. Due to the pandemic, it costs more to film because the need to have extra precautions, regular Covid testing, and etc. We know that there were shows that were initially renewed by Netflix but then canceled after the fact. The reason for this is that Netflix likely realized the cost to produce the shows would be too much and not in the best interest of the cast, crew, and any companies involved in the middle of such a huge reaching pandemic.

Compared to other shows in the Netflix Family section, Julie and the Phantoms has a high production level. I did some research on the Netflix originals in the section and the shows on there are either very low budget or have a backing from a franchise/company (ex. Baby Boss, Fast and Furious, Jurassic Park). Julie and the Phantoms does not have that. It is not connected to an established franchise or a large company. It is simply made by the likes of Kenny Ortega who does not skimp on anything in his productions. Kenny has stated that he is not willing to let the grandness of the show suffer because of the pandemic. The show has many crowd scenes and dancing sequences that require a lot of people. The show won’t be what it is without this. Based on this, we know that Netflix wants to be absolutely sure they can go forth with filming before announcing a renewal.

And there you guys go. All the information that I looked into and checked for this piece. I hope this helps many people understand what is going on why it is taking longer for the show to get renewed. It is not that Netflix doesn’t want to renew it. It is a matter of HOW and WHEN. If that makes sense. If you have any questions about what I wrote, you can leave a comment or DM me.

all*- Some individuals may not wish to be vaccinated

influential individuals*- There are people connected to some of the shows that have a standing within the media and the finances or awards to warrant being a part of the show or it being made at all.

Amendment

I was informed by my source in New Brunswick that vaccines have been administered since January but the qualification for who is eligible for the vaccines can change from week to week.

Amendment 2

Reuters has reported that children aged 12-15 are able to start getting the vaccine today (13 May 2021). So that means that Jadah and Sonny (15 and 13, respectively) will be fully vaccinated by the middle of June.

Amendment 3

A few days ago a local upstate New York newspaper wrote about Canada starting the process of opening up borders again. The process is in the beginning stages so there is no announced date(s) on the border reopening but it is in the works.

Amendment 4

A show called Firefly Lane has been renewed for a season 2. This is important because Firefly Lane is filmed in the same area of British Columbia as Julie and the Phantoms. British Columbia is getting better in regards to vaccinations and so this proves good news of a season 2 announcement for Julie and the Phantoms.

Amendment 5

It was reported on 21 or 22 June 2021 that Canada will relax quarantine rules for vaccinated Canadian citizens, permanent residents, and foreign nationals for essential work. This new system will go into effect 5 June 2021. If you are fully vaccinated and pass rules set by the government, you will NOT have to abide by the hotel quarantine steps when entering the country. That means that the JATP cast and crew can get to filming right away instead of quarantining beforehand. To read more about this: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.lonelyplanet.com/amp/articles/canada-border-reopening

Amendment 6

On Charlie’s live yesterday (28 June 2021), Madison said that she got the second dose of the vaccine earlier in the day. In 14 days, she will be good to go on going out and such. Hopefully Jadah and Sonny have gotten at least their first dose. Gets us closer to being able to have the cast and crew together for the show.

Amendment 7

The National Law Review published an article on 2 July 2021 saying that fully vaccinated individuals will be able to travel between Canada and the US on 21 July or possibly sooner. Prime Minister Justin Trudeau says he wants 75% of Canadians to be fully vaccinated before allowing the border to be opened. With current numbers, it is believed this will be achieved in a few weeks time.

Amendment 8

The New York Times just reported that fully vaccinated Americans could be allowed into Canada by mid August and that people from other countries could be allowed to enter by September.

Amendment 9

It was just reported about two hours ago that Canada will allow vaccinated Americans in on 9 August. That is exactly 3 weeks from now on a Monday. Now all we have to focus on is protocols for safety while in Vancouver while filming.

#julie and the phantoms #julie and the fat ones #julie and the himbos #jatp #renew jatp #renewjatpfors2 #madison reyes #charlie gillespie #owen patrick joyner #jeremy shada #jadah marie #savannah lee may #sacha carlson #booboo stewart #tori caro #cheyenne jackson #kenny ortega

[iambarelysushi]

AEW Poster info dump

Okay, so, if you're reading this you've probably seen my AEW poster that I'm working on. This post is to sort of explain everything about who's in it and stuff like that.

The poster as of 3\10\21, roughly 45% complete

What is this?

It's a poster with 563 people (well, 560 people, 2 drones, and 1 dog) that have appeared on AEW in the first two years or so of it's existence.

Who is on here?

I have a Google doc of 563 people that can be found here: Spreadsheet

How did you get 563 people?

I took everyone that wrestled on an AEW pay-per-view, Dynamite, Dark, or Dark Elevation, as well as commentators, referees, notable guest appearances, and so on.

How long has this taken you?

I didn't write down which day I actually started (since I didn't realize how big the project was going to end up) but my best guess is that I started it in August of 2020 (at least, that's the earliest digital file I have saved. I know there were initially older files though.) Also, there have been breaks while I work on other things.

That must be a really big canvas you're working on.

It is, but since I'm working digitally, I've broken it down into multiple smaller files so my computer doesn't explode when I need to open it. I would make a new canvas, draw several wrestlers on it, then copy the finished inks to the full sized one. That way I can move people around, resize them if need be, and make changes relatively easily. The final piece will be 24 inches by 36 inches.

How do you keep track of all of this?

Well, I've got a spreadsheet that I linked to above. It tells me which wrestlers I need to draw, and breaks that down into inks, flat colors, and shading. It also tells me if I've placed them on the final canvas, which file the original lineart is in, and even when they first appeared for AEW.

Do you draw this or trace it?

Okay, this is difficult to explain: I use a ton of reference. In order to get the likeness right, I'll do a quick sketch over the reference to place where the eyes and nose go. Then I'll move the reference pic to the side and draw the rest. I'll draw guidelines to show where various parts of the body should be. If I'm done and it still looks wonky, I'll put the lineart over the reference and adjust lines where needed. Usually it's the eyes are crooked. Anyway, here's an example of my process:

Where's [wrestler] or [wrestler?]

When this is all done, I'll have a key to show who's who and where they are.

Why isn't [wrestler] in here?

When I started this project, I was going to draw the roster, plus the indie wrestlers they started bringing in for Dark when Covid hit. So every few weeks I'd add more people to the list. And more. And more. Until finally I decided that the limits of this drawing would be drawing anyone between AEW Double of Nothing 2019 (the first official AEW pay-per-view) and the episode of Dynamite on October 6, 2021 (the two year anniversary of Dynamite.) If they debuted after, they're not in there. Which sucks because that includes Danhausen, one of my absolute favorites.

Why is [wrestler] in here? Aren't they a horrible person?

So yeah, right when I was starting this, the Speaking Out stuff started coming out, and I was torn between leaving people out of a project who's entire point was to get "everyone," and adding known creeps to the piece. I tried to compromise by having them getting kicked in the face and\or making them quite small and obscured. It's why I know a bunch of people are going to ask why I drew one of the "four pillars of AEW" so small. It's 'cuz he's a creep.

Hey, some wrestlers change between process shots, what gives?

Since I've been working on this for two years, I'll look back at some of the older art and realized I could do it better. And sometimes gimmicks change. And sometimes the guy dead center of your original draft leaves the company and sometimes the guy you put off to the side because you didn't really care about him at the start goes on to become one of your favorites and AEW Champion. So in short, I'll redraw stuff if I think the original drawing doesn't work.

Anything else you want to say about this?

Uh . . . it's well over 1500 layers in Clip Studio as of this writing. The file is almost an entire gigabyte. That's insane.

Oh yeah, meant to ask . . . WHY are you doing this? It's insane.

Well, I like to draw large group shots. One of my favorite artists growing up was George Perez, and he drew every single Avenger on the cover of Avengers #1 in 1998 and it made an impact on me. As a kid, I would take large rolls of paper (my dad worked at a printer at the time, would bring home leftover paper rolls) and draw these ten foot tall super posters with all my favorite characters. Then as I got older, I started tabling at conventions. I didn't feel like my art stood out very much, so I drew a print with a dozen or so characters. Then one with twenty. Then fifty. Then the next thing you know, I'm drawing a "Where's Waldo?" picture where you have to find John Cena among 300 wrestlers. (The joke is, he's not actually there.) It sort of became my "thing." I may not be the best artist, but I'm certainly going to be the most artist.

The "Can U C Me?" Where's Waldo print, the biggest thing I had drawn until this AEW project.

Got any process pictures?

Of course. I can't go two years on a project and not periodically post something to try and get that sweet, sweet validation.

Drawing wrestlers in smaller chunks before copying them over to the main canvas.

Placing them together to figure out the best layout.

The first draft of the large canvas. The blue background is just so I can tell where I've got space.

I quickly started running out of room.

Around this point I realized I needed to move people around so I decided to scrap this layout and move people around. Also, Cody left so I decided to redraw the EVPs.

Redrew the EVPs and started the new layout.

The most up-to-date version as of 3\15\21. Started keeping track of percentages complete on the spreadsheet, started adding them to process shots.

#AEW #all elite wrestling #art wip #wrestling

[carotidartistry]

COVID and the Arts

The existence of algorithm-driven, non-chronological "timelines" is very bizarre right now. On my Facebook feed, I see posts from March 10 talking about starting the second week of previews or celebrating good box office returns. On March 12, my job ceased to exist, as did the jobs of hundreds upon hundreds of people as an entire industry shuttered over the course of one day.

The cancellations and closing of events and arts/entertainment venues, while important for public health, have left many people (who earn on a gig basis rather than salary) very suddenly and entirely without expected income. There is no work-from-home option, just their job disappearing entirely. Some people will be able to collect unemployment insurance, but many won't even get that, as they work as independent contractors who are paid a fee for work delivered or vend their goods directly to customers at such events.

This is a tough time for arts/events organizations and those who work them (which includes not just artists but all of the ushers, custodians, etc. whose work is tied to the event itself). I'm compiling ways to support those who have been impacted (pass-the-hats for donating to individuals, funds that are accepting donations, ways to purchase people's goods/services, etc.) and resources for those who have been impacted. The industry community is coming together in a heartening way right now, but it would mean a great deal to me if those not in the industry could take a moment to glance through and maybe even to share this information. Even if you can't make any sort of donation yourself, it means something to have this hardship be seen and acknowledged.

Additionally, if you have tickets to events that have been canceled and don't immediately need your funds returned, I encourage you to wait a bit before reaching out to the theater/venue/etc.. Box office workers have been overwhelmed. And particularly if it was a ticket for a non-profit or grassroots organization, if it's possible, I'd encourage people to consider donating the cost of their ticket rather than demanding a refund.

While I'm aware that there are many people in many sectors taking a hit right now, I am putting my focus on where I am and would like to keep that the focus here. Please share any relevant updates, additional resources, etc..

Support Those Who Have Been Impacted

A general pass-the-hat for individual theatre workers (updated daily): I Lost My Theatre Gigs

“The Indie Theater Fund is launching this fundraising campaign to provide direct support and emergency relief to independent theaters and artists in response to the COVID-19 pandemic.” https://www.facebook.com/donate/509591526599992/509604039932074/

NYC Low-Income Artist/Freelancer Relief Fund: "We seek to provide support for low-income, BIPOC, trans/GNC/NB/Queer artists and freelancers whose livelihoods are being effected by this pandemic in NYC. Whether it's from cancelled gigs, lost jobs, or a lack of business due to coronavirus scares, we hope to orchestrate an egalitarian approach to crowdsourcing." [Note: their funding applications are currently closed as they make sure that they have enough resources to cover the 500 people who have already applied.] https://www.gofundme.com/f/nyc-lowincome-artistfreelancer-relief-fund

"The Philadelphia Performing Artists' Emergency Fund was created amid the COVID-19 outbreak to assist performing artists whose income has been impacted by show cancellations, slowing ticket sales, and/or low turnout during this pandemic." https://www.gofundme.com/f/philly-performance-artist-fund

"The Boston Artist Relief Fund will award grants of $500 and $1,000 to individual artists who live in Boston whose creative practices and incomes are being adversely impacted by Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19)." https://www.boston.gov/artistrelief

Boston Music Maker Relief Fund: "Small grants of up to $200 will be paid rapidly on a first come, first served basis to affected artists and groups. Please see grant guidelines below. Donations will be accepted from individuals and corporations in order to replenish the fund and continue making payments to eligible music makers in the queue. The Record Co. is covering all admin/processing costs so 100% of every donation goes directly to music makers in the community. Please consider donating using the form below or contact [email protected] to get involved.": https://www.therecordco.org/relief

Durham Artist Relief Fund: "Funds donated here go directly to artists and arts presenters in Durham who have been financially impacted by cancellations due to COVID-19, with priority given to to BIPOC artists, transgender & nonbinary artists, and disabled artists": https://www.northstardurham.com/artistrelief

Emergency Relief Fund for Artists During COVID-19 (Minnesota): https://www.givemn.org/story/Epf3ag

Opera San José Artists and Musicians Relief Fund: “This emergency cash reserve will allow us to provide support to the musicians, singers, carpenters, stitchers, designers and other hourly company members that make our productions possible and who will be deeply affected by COVID-19.”: https://operasj.secure.force.com/donate/?dfId=a0nf400000QZ7hKAAT

A pass the hat for individual SXSW workers: "Update 3/10: We have received over 400 submissions - thank you! We are working diligently to verify each submission and get them posted. As of today, the total amount of reported income lost is $2,108,835. Your stories are heartbreaking but we know them all too well. We appreciate you, we see you, and we love you, Austin. Hang in there." https://www.ilostmygig.com/

2020 ECCC Artists Alley: An unofficial compilation of Eccc2020 artist alley online shops. Browse the goods of artists who won't have the opportunity to sell directly to their anticipated customers: https://ecccartistalley.tumblr.com/

Artists Alley Online:  A directory for some of the artists who would have been at Emerald City Comic Con (March 12-15, 2020) had it not been moved due to the corona virus.  https://artistalleyonline.com/

Shoutout to the theaters who have suspended performances but are still paying their artists in the interim. These have been reported to include: Ars Nova (https://arsnovanyc.com/), Geffen Playhouse (https://www.geffenplayhouse.org/), WP Theater (https://wptheater.org/), Soho Rep (https://sohorep.org/), Playwrights Realm (https://www.playwrightsrealm.org/), New York Theatre Workshop (https://www.nytw.org/), Rattlestick Playwrights Theater (https://www.rattlestick.org/), the McCarter Theatre (https://www.mccarter.org/), Parity Productions (https://www.parityproductions.org/), and Second Stage Theater (https://2st.com/).  (sources: https://twitter.com/diepthought/status/1238194781437734912?s=19, direct email from Second Stage)

More who have been named are the Public Theater (https://publictheater.org/), Transport Group (http://transportgroup.org/), Vineyard Theatre (https://www.vineyardtheatre.org/), and Lincoln Center Theater (https://www.lct.org/). (source: https://twitter.com/westratenick/status/1238847988262453248)

Please consider giving those organizations (and any others who are doing similarly) your support if/when you're able to.

Resources for Impacted Arts/Entertainment/Events Workers

Freelancers & Community Resources 2020: Resources centered for artists and those impacted by gigs being canceled/postponed: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xt1QZlGsyga_HrXagubV9O0rebV5dx4DuMOd2sWvWwc/edit

COVID-19 & Freelance Artist Resources: https://covid19freelanceartistresource.wordpress.com/

NYFA Emergency Resources: "Artists who experience personal hardship or who are impacted by a large-scale disaster, or who need funding for a last-minute opportunity can find critical resources in NYFA's Emergency Resources Directory.": https://www.nyfa.org/Content/Show/Emergency%20Resources

The Indie Theater Fund: "Rapid relief grants of up to $500 will be awarded to support our community, prioritizing the consortium of companies, venues, and individuals working in NYC independent theater (Off-Off-Broadway in theater houses of 99 seats or less), operating with budgets under $250,000. We will award grants on an on-going basis until our funds run out. Grants can be requested via a simple online application and will be reviewed on a first come first serve basis.”  https://forms.gle/pLm7bLhKQE8AbpDn6

Send your information to "I Lost My Theatre Gigs": https://ilostmytheatregigs.squarespace.com/

Philadelphia Performing Artists' Emergency Fund: Emergency Funds can be requested by any Cabaret, Drag, Burlesque, Theater, or performance artists facing a financial hardship caused by COVID-19. Performance artists who need aid can apply here: https://forms.gle/SwsMERPM1CTivFyc7

Boston Artist Relief Fund application: https://cityofbostonartsandculture.submittable.com/submit/af2153eb-2d87-4e9d-9ebc-5861eb135999/boston-artist-relief-fund

Boston Music Maker Relief Fund application: https://therecordco.typeform.com/to/w6wTkF

Durham Artist Relief Fund application: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdEJKTP91h5e7MuUITHj96J6eKWeZjgVLZjLG4Wp-WMhyQ4mg/viewform

SXSW workers send your information to "I Lost My Gig" here: https://www.ilostmygig.com/

#theater #theatre #off broadway #opera #sxsw #eccc #eccconline #freelance artist #freelance artists #nyc #boston #philadelphia #durham #covid-19 #coronavirus #covid 19

[gracereally]

Settling in

It's hard to believe that it's been over 4 weeks since I boarded a plane to come to Korea. I've only been free for half of that time, but I've already explored and learned so much. So far, things are going well! There are still growing pains, but I've been really enjoying my time here despite the strict covid guidelines that prevent me from being able to travel often or teach the way I would prefer.

It's crazy, but even after only two and a half weeks at work, I already feel myself settling into a routine. Routines have always helped me understand what to expect from the days and weeks ahead. This post is a quick rundown of what a typical day looks like for me in Korea.

9:00a: Wake up! I set my alarm for 9 so that I can still have a productive and full morning. Occasionally, I do wake up earlier than this. Other times, I'm so exhausted I only want to lay in bed. Luckily I have plenty of time before work for either option.

9:00a ~ 12:00p: During my mornings, I like to speak with my family and friends, since it is the evening for them. If I don't speak to anyone, I try to do something fun for myself, like read a book or play a video game. I also make myself breakfast every day. While I get ready for work, I watch TV.

Between 12:00p ~ 12:30p: I prepare to leave for work. All of my co-workers live in the same apartment building, so travel to work together. We can walk or taxi. Typically, we like to walk when it's nice out, but taxis are quick and easy (as well as cheap!) when the weather is bad or it is way too hot.

1:00p: Arrive at school

1:00p ~ 3:50p: This is my prep period. It may not seem like a ton of time, but we have a lot of resources for our lessons, so if we use our time effectively there's plenty of it for lesson planning. So far, we haven't been finding out what classes we teach that day until we get to work, which has been a huge downside. I would much prefer to be able to plan ahead or use any extra time for future lessons. However, I think this will change soon and I will get a regular schedule as I and the other new teachers settle in.

3:50p ~ 6:00p: I teach two classes to younger students, typically between the ages of first to third grade.

6:00p ~ 6:50p: Dinner break! Every day my school provides dinner for us. We order from a different restaurant each day and everyone submits their order before classes. Our order is waiting for us during our dinner break :)

6:50p ~ 9:00p: I teach two more classes, this time to the older students. The students in this block are typically between third and sixth grade.

9:00p ~ 9:30p: my co-workers and I try to finish up some grading and other loose ends before we head out. The work day technically ends at 9:10, but we often stay later to finish a few things. I really don't mind since I hate taking grading home.

I typically get home before 10:00p. We usually take the bus, but we can also walk on a nice night.

For the rest of the night, I have free time! I usually do my chores, like taking out the trash (such a hassle in Korea) or going for groceries. I try not to snack too much, but sometimes the convenience store is too tempting! I like to watch TV or do some online shopping to relax at night before I hit the hay around 1 or 2.

But there's fun stuff too I swear!

On weekends I've been exploring and shopping! Below are some more photos I took last weekend. I met up with a friend in Itaewon for lunch, and we also visited the war memorial museum. On Sunday I went to Lotte Tower, which is a mall here in Seoul that spans five huge floors and an enormous underground complex. There's an aquarium, cinema, tons of restaurants, a big department store, and so much more. I spent way too much money lmao

So that's what I've been up to! My day might not seem exciting but it's been very relaxing for me. I know my schedule might seem very different from the normal 9-5 setup, but it's honestly perfect for me. It's a stark contrast to my old job, in which I was constantly rushing to get to work in the morning and working in a stressful environment that I didn't enjoy very much at all.

So far I love teaching, despite sometimes having mixed feelings about the school itself. But that's a post for another day hahaha

Peace out ✌️

Grace

#seoul #seoultravel #seoulkorea #south korea #expatlife #expatblogger #expat in korea #itaewon #gangnam district #jamsil #lotte world tower #hagwon teacher #home & lifestyle #tefl #teflteacher #teachers of tumblr #my life in korea #american abroad #living abroad

[wikibious]

Who is Crystal Jackson Onlyfans? Wiki, Biography, Age, Husband, Children, Instagram

Crystal Jackson Onlyfans Wiki - Crystal Jackson Onlyfans Biography

Crystal Jackson and her husband have found success with their subscription-based OnlyFans erotic page. “If you had to earn half a million dollars a month for an hour of work a day, would you do it?” Asks 50-year-old OnlyFans creator Chris Jackson. "If you do". While this seems like a setting reserved for fiction stuff, Chris, along with his wife of 14 years, Crystal, say that has been the reality for them since they started their subscription-based OnlyFans erotic page two years ago. . just to have this fun marriage experience, "Crystal tells PEOPLE." And it's fun. "

Crystal Jackson Onlyfans Age

Crystal Jackson is 45 years old.

Crystal Jackson and her husband OnlyFans Team Make $500K a Month

Crystal, who calls herself "Mrs. Poindexter" on the channel, says there is no secret to her success beyond being open about what is and is not showing up on the site. What is it? Images of her in Se**xy clothes, heels and stockings, along with sensual stories from her past. It's not? "Po**rn," says Crystal, who describes herself as a "real, modest, reserved neighbor mom" on the channel, which users can access for a monthly fee of $ 15. The page has risen in popularity during the pandemic. In February, the couple raised as much as $ 150,000 a month before jumping to $ 500,000 in August, they say. Crystal and Chris have not been the only ones to have succeeded through OnlyFans, which has become a prominent platform for users looking to offer subscription content. But on Thursday, the company announced a controversial decision to ban "Se**xually explicit conduct" on its platform starting in October. The move, OnlyFans said, was to ensure "long-term sustainability." Crystal and Chris do not expect to be negatively affected by the developments, as their posts look more like modern Playboy images than anything X-rated. OnlyFans said in a statement to PEOPLE that nudity will continue to be allowed on the site at all times. that users adhere to their guidelines. The couple believe the new policies will make OnlyFans easier for customers to use in the long run. They say the platform has been hit by some X-rated accounts spamming customers with multiple notifications per day, which Chris compares to being "the worst telemarketer you've ever met." Read Also: Who is Vanessa Alfermann? Wiki, Biography, Age, Family, Lost her Baby Due to Covid "It's been bad for business," Crystal adds of the spam. "So they've been slowly squeezing that out." But many creators who rely on Se**xually explicit content for their OnlyFans channels are certainly in trouble. "A lot of the models we work with around the world are destroyed," says Chris. Online, the company's reaction to the change was heavily criticized with many pointing out that OnlyFans gained its prominence thanks to Se**xually explicit content. The company's decision has also drawn comparisons to a similar move by Tumblr, the blogging platform that was sold to Yahoo for $ 1.1 billion in 2013. In 2018, Yahoo's parent company Verizon banned the posting of adult content on the service. The site's popularity waned soon after, and Verizon sold Tumblr for less than $ 3 million in 2019. Earlier this year, Crystal made headlines when her children were expelled from their Catholic school due to her presence on OnlyFans. She decided to speak publicly about the situation, which she called "horrible" at the time. In the end, the couple say the experience turned out to be cathartic. You know why? "Explains Crystal," There were no more secrets. Chris is often asked how he feels about his wife becoming a grown star, and he says they have only benefited from the launch of the channel. "I am more than confident and confident. I have no worries. Are you telling me that men find my wife attractive?" he says. "Oh, poor me. Really? Some men feel threatened by that. And I don't understand guys like that. I don't understand what their insecurity is. Either their wife is with them or not. Either they feel safe or not. I don't really understand the angle of jealousy, but I don't know. Maybe I'm more self-conscious than other men. I'm not so sure. " Even with change on the horizon, Crystal says they won't be leaving OnlyFans any time soon. We want to stay here for a while, "she tells her about the couple's plans for the future." It's our fun little thing. " FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK Read the full article

#CrystalJackson #CrystalJacksonage #CrystalJacksonbio #CrystalJacksonbiography #CrystalJacksonfamily #CrystalJacksonhusband #CrystalJacksoninstagram #CrystalJacksonmanymorefactsyouneedtoknow #CrystalJacksononlyfans #CrystalJacksonwiki #CrystalJacksonwikipedia #whoisCrystalJackson