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#That dream just went off on me in the worst way like
strniohoeee · 2 days
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Labyrinth
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female reader
Synopsis: A numb and addicted y/n can’t seem to understand why her life suddenly feels different. She’s done nothing but move around in her adult years, so why is it now that she feels she can’t pack up and leave anytime soon?
Warnings⚠️: I haven’t written in over a month, so I’m super rusty this might be shitty! Cigarette smoking and mentions, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol. I don’t condone smoking or drinking (underage).🖤
Song for imagine: Cigarettes and Coffee- Otis Redding
Its early in the morning
About a quarter ‘til three
I’m sittin here talking with my baby
Over cigarettes and coffee
I was never one to deal with stress easily which led me to deal with it in the worst ways possible. Drinking, smoking, quitting jobs on the spot and even packing up and leaving places…..I know stupid and risky, but I never had that anchor in my life to tell me everything was going to be okay.
If I felt stressed and useless my things were packed and I was on the road to a new state. I think I was on state number 7 in about a year and a half. Who the fuck in their right mind handles stress this way? That was the million dollar question, and I had the answer…. I wasn’t in my right mind…not in the past, not in the present and undoubtedly not in the future.
After my last breakdown I landed in California precisely in Los Angeles, the city of angels. Where all your dreams and aspirations could come true. It just felt like lost paradise to me, but it’s the longest state I’ve ever stood in. For some reason I couldn’t find the power in me to leave when I got stressed. It was as if I had some unforeseen future here….a future of happiness and hope?
But the stress still gnawed at me. Will I ever have a career, will I ever be truly happy, will my parents be proud of me?How am I going to pay for next month's rent?How am I going to pay for next week's groceries?
It was a constant battle and I never severely suffered because I always found a way, but once all that was taken care of the immediate panic started again about how will I be able to do it all in the following weeks.
I started smoking constantly and it was weird because I wasn’t a smoker but I knew I should drink a little less. I only lit a cigarette when the stress was so bad I refused to drink anymore. Not like smoking was any better ruining my lungs rather than my liver….
But the problem was it went from one to two a day to five and on really bad days even up to eight. It was a bad crutch I simply couldn’t pull away from. They were my training wheels and I was so scared that once I let go I’d crash and burn.
I had an addiction and I had no one around me to slap me out of it. Of course I still spoke to my parents, but I just lied about it. I mean there’s truly no one to blame but myself, however all that regret left my mind once a lighter was in my hand and I took a long drag while the cool night breeze brushed against my skin.
I was lucky enough to have found a job almost instantly. It was a cute little coffee shop that had a small selection of books. It was a peaceful and slow paced job. We only really needed two to three people working. So I’d open at 8am and waited for the next girl to clock in at about 11am.
It was a fun job that paid the bills and my horrendous cigarette addiction. I had found a decent studio apartment nearby. But I was always convinced that this would be snatched from under my feet and I should never get comfortable. As you can expect this led to my extreme stress and anxiety.
I didn’t necessarily have friends here, I mean yes I was cool with my coworkers and boss; but we weren’t friends. It was more of a hi, bye situation. It didn’t bother me much. I was always a loner. I never really found people who got me, so I stayed with the only person who did…me.
On my days off I spent a lot of time walking around flea markets, heading into other cafes and even writing. I’d always hoped that one day I’d be a writer. My mind was always running and I figured someone out there might actually relate to and enjoy the words I’d write on a piece of paper.
Today I was actually working a small shift from 8am to 1pm. I was staring blankly at my reflection in the bathroom. Scruffing my hands and gargling mouthwash. It was 11am and I was coming back from my break.
Spitting the mouthwash into the sink I closed the cap and stuffed the travel size bottle into my purse. Inhaling deeply I looked at myself once again.
“You have got to stop smoking” I replied in a mumble
Slipping my hand blindly into my purse I pulled out my perfume; spritzing myself before shutting the light and heading into the break room to place my purse back.
Slipping my apron on my coworker walked in, clocking in the back as she offered me a smile
“Good morning Y/N” she said as she walked towards me to place her things down
“Good morning K” I stated as I offered a smile back and began to make my way to clock back in
I wasn’t sure why her name was K, it was all over her employee paperwork. She was here before me, so I felt I had no right to ask her for her real name. But it was interesting for someone to just drop the rest of their name and solely go by a singular letter.
After punching back in I walked to the front, not a surprise it was dead. The only people lingering around were the 8am-9am crew. Sighing deeply I decided to clean up a bit.
It was about 12pm now and I was watching the clock anxiously waiting to clock out and run free. Usually I worked 8-4 and sometimes even 8-6. I had a whole day ahead of me and two days off might I add. I felt pretty invincible
Drinking from my water cup the door chimed signaling a customer. Placing the cup down I began to turn around.
“Hi welcome to Mugs” I stated as I turned around
Immediately I was intrigued. I have never seen someone as interesting before. I mean it is LA, so I have seen some interesting stuff; but no he looked different…. And for some reason I couldn’t really look away
Placing his vision glasses on top of his head he squinted his eyes to read the menu. My eyebrow raising.
“You know glasses are meant for you to see things” I said logging into the register as I looked up at him
“I’m sorry?” He said looking at me
“You um…. You put your glasses on your head and then squinted to read” I said pointing above me at the board
“Oh… well these are just blue light glasses. I genuinely can’t really see” he said in an awkward way
“Ohhh well uhh want me to read the menu to you?” I asked laughing a bit
“Oh no it’s fine, I’m not really a coffee drinker” he stated looking at our pastry display
“You do realize you’re in a Coffee shop?” I said jokingly
His both opened a bit and then he squinted his eyes
“I am now seeing how ridiculous I look” he said chuckling and shaking his head
“No judgment here” I said sticking my hands up in defense
“I won’t waste your time any more! Can I have a chocolate chip cookie and that bottle of Pepsi” he said pointing behind me at the small fridge
“One Pepsi and one cookie, coming right up” I said checking him out on the screen
Grabbing the cookie and bottle of soda I placed it on the counter and slid it towards him.
“You can tap or insert your card whenever you’re ready” I stated clicking some buttons on my screen
“I’m uhh actually paying cash” he said fishing in his wallet
“Woahhh cash in this century?” I said giggling and fixing the system
“Yeahh I carry a little bit of cash and little bit of card” he said shrugging his shoulders
“A little bit of card….hmm…that’s funny” I said giggling a bit at him
“Well you know what I mean” he says playfully rolling his eyes
“I’m just messing with you” I said shaking my head
Smiling he handed the cash over and grabbed his items
“Keep the change” he said waving with his hand and nodding his head
Walking out the door I couldn’t seem to understand why I had a stupid smile on my face. Putting the cash in the till and placing the change in our tip jar.
Turning around I was met with my two coworkers staring at me with a smirk on their face. I’d never been the spotlight of attention and I’ve never gotten anything other than a good morning from either of them. So my face dropped and I got self conscious
“What?” I said a bit scared as I straightened my posture
“He was totally into you” K stated as she placed the rack of cookies down
“Was not! We were just making friendly conversations” I said opening the pastry shelf and putting some cookies in
“No no I agree with K we’ve had a lot of guys come in here, but this is the first time I’ve seen a guy like utter more than two words to you and he was totally geeking out” Delilah stated
“Totally! That kid was blushing like crazyyy” K stated as she grabbed the now empty tray and began to walk back towards the kitchen
“Guys come on! It was just friendly banter” I said shutting the pastry door
“Delilah knows her shit too, that’s how Danny and I got together” K stated from the kitchen
“Shut up! No way” I said rolling my eyes
“Sure did! As soon as we had an interaction K told me he’d be back for my number, and that was three years ago” K replied
“You just got lucky this was nothing but mere coincidence” I replied back to them
“You’ll see girl” Delilah stated as she began to make herself a coffee
Playfully rolling my eyes I checked the clock, I had about 10 minutes till my shift was over. I decided to make myself a drink.
As I made my iced latte I began to wonder. I didn’t really have many interactions with guys, but I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.
It just felt like a friendly banter with an awkwardly shy….nerdy guy. Laughing to myself I finished making my drink.
“Alright girls I’m going to clock out now” I stated as I walked to the back
Punching out and grabbing my things I slid my apron off and grabbed my drink. Heading towards the front of the cafe
I waved bye to the girls as I took a sip.
“Have a good day girls” I said as I walked out
I had the whole day ahead of me and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. My job was near a pier where I could always sit down and watch people.
Before heading to the pier I decided to stop for some food. Heading into a small restaurant I sat down. Taking my book out of my purse I began to write. I hadn’t written in two weeks and it felt wrong.
Ghosting my hand over the paper, my mind just kept going blank. I couldn’t form a proper sentence and my mind began to race again. Thinking back on that boy I began to think about my love life.
Honestly I didn’t really have one, I was more of a hopeless romantic. Often watching rom coms and rolling my eyes at how unrealistic that love was. I’m sure it was tangible, but I was just a sour puss.
I longed for a relationship like that to always know you’ll have someone there for you loving you unconditionally. To be with someone through sickness and in health. I was only 22, but it seemed to me that everyone around me already had that amazing soulmate. I was very clearly late to the game and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find someone to love. I wasn’t even sure I was lovable myself.
Then again I never put myself out there, but times have changed. It's not that easy. Guys have become so shitty and all they care about it sex. But it’s like what about getting to know the person deep down.
Not once has a guy ever asked me my dreams and aspirations, where do I see myself in five years? What are my biggest goals in life? What’s my biggest fear….. I lost all hope for love by the time I was 18.
Reading romantic stories and watching these shows and movies definitely added salt to the wound.
I hadn’t realized how much I was writing till my hand began to cramp. Looking up I realized it was no longer daytime.
“Shit” I muttered under my breath
Slamming my book shut I paid my bill and began to gather my things. Walking out of the restaurant I stepped out onto the golden street. It was about 5:45 and I really couldn’t understand how that much time had passed.
I think that’s why I enjoy writing the most, I’m so far gone in my own world it’s like I’m frozen and the world around me continues to move.
Walking towards the pier it was surprisingly empty at this time. Breathing in the salty air I sat down on a bench. Watching the ocean I let the breeze blow through my hair.
Digging in my purse I pulled out my pack of American Spirits. Sighing deeply I pulled a cigarette out. As soon as I grabbed my lighter all the regret washed away from me.
Placing the white object in between my lips I flicked the lighter a few times before a glowing flame appeared before me. Guarding the flame from the wind I brought it closer.
Inhaling as I lit the cigarette all my worries washed away. This was only my second cigarette of the day and I somehow felt accomplished.
Kicking the gravel underneath me I took a long drag, exhaling I got up. Walking over to the edge of the pier I decided to sit down allowing my legs to hang off the edge.
I wasn’t 100% sure I could do this, but it’s worth a shot I thought to myself. Leaning my chin in the railing I took another drag as I stared into the sunset.
Life was so beautiful and I wasn’t sure why I was so sad and numb all the time. I took a lot for granted and I hated it.
I really needed to stop smoking.
“You know those things will kill you” I heard from behind me
My brows began to furrow as I took a drag
“I’m sorry?” I said annoyed as I looked behind me, blowing the smoke out through my nose as my face dropped
“You shouldn’t smoke” he said again with a cheeky smile on his face
Meeting eyes with the same guy from the cafe made my heart skip a beat and my throat go dry.
“Squinting your eyes is also bad for you” I said putting the cigarette out
“Won’t kill me though” he said shrugging his shoulders
“You never know” I said shrugging my shoulders and standing up
His eyes followed me as I got up and it was only then did I feel super self conscious about this whole situation. My embarrassment turned a bit into anger.
“Anyways you drink Pepsi, so that for sure will kill you” I said as I dusted my pants off
“Guess we’ll both be dead then” he replied
“Wow you’re super blunt” I said scoffing
“Sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off rude. I was just playfully teasing” he said looking nervous
Looking at him for a split second and I sniffed and then rolled my eyes
“It’s fine. It’s a bad habit anyways” I replied shrugging my shoulders
“We all have bad habits we’re not proud of” he said in a whisper
“Are you uhh following me?” I asked him cocking an eyebrow
“What? No oh my god no! I was just walking and I thought you looked super familiar” he replied putting his hands out in defense
“I’m just teasing you” I said giggling
“I’m Matt” he replied placing his hand out for me to shake
“I’m Y/N” I stated as I shook his hand
“It’s nice to formally meet you” he said awkwardly
“Yeah” I replied awkwardly
“I’ll uh… ill let you go on about your business. Maybe I’ll see you around” He said
“Well you know where to find me” I said smiling at him
Opening my bag I was digging around for my phone before successfully pulling it out.
“Right, we’ll have a good evening” he said and waved shyly
“I’ll see you round Matt” I replied
Going our separate ways I looked down at my phone, 6:55pm…. Sighing, I walked back to my car close to the cafe and drove home.
Shuffling up the stairs I pushed my apartment door open after unlocking it. Making note that I must call the maintenance guy because that door needs some WD40 badly.
Locking the door I turned my lights on. Today just felt strange like I couldn’t put my finger in exactly what the fuck was going on.
Walking over to my patio I opened the sliding door and stepped out. Taking in the evening breeze my mind just went blank.
Stepping back inside I grabbed my purse, grabbing my lighter I shuffled my hand around my purse to feel for my pack of cigarettes. But my brows furrowed when I didn’t feel the square container.
Walking over towards the light I opened my bag more and looked inside. An annoyed feeling washed over me as I couldn’t find the box. I mean honestly good because I did not need anymore.
Still searching as if the box was going to magically appear. I groaned soon realizing I must’ve left them on the bench and they are for a fact long gone by now.
Throwing my lighter back into my purse I groaned and sat on my couch. The one time I desperately need a cigarette I fucking left it on the pier.
I cut that night short with a 80s movie marathon and left over pizza as a midnight snack.
remembering that tomorrow I had to stop into the cafe to pick up my paycheck. We’re living in a very digital world right now and my job still does paper checks….
Groaning at that I decided to call it a night….
The End
Okayyy IVE BEEN GONE FOR SOOO FUCKING LONG. And I’m sooo sorry it’s just life has been so crazy since March! However this was the end of part 1….stay tuned for more🥺🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
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shady-swan-jones · 3 days
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Captain Swan Fic Recs are back, baby! - April Edition
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Hello, cs friends! It's been like, what, seven years since I last did this? Who's counting. Enjoy the fruits of y'all's labour and some amazing stories. Keep writing, we need you
-Sophie
when Emma falls in love [from the vault] by @spartanguard
Inspired by "When Emma Falls In Love" by Taylor Swift, part of series based on songs from the vault
everyone's wondering why Emma doesn't screw the hot bartender already, it's not like he hasn't given signs. but with emma's romantic past it's not like she's throwing chances to anyone, scruffily attractive as they may be. yet, it's not her past that's worrisome. will they break the curse?
rated T | 6.2k words | AO3
Untie Me | captain swan fic | office romance | mature | 3/5 | 5.9k | in progress, by me
“Didn’t you pay attention to trigonometry, Jones?” she balances her weight on the stick, languidly, in a way that ticks something into his already drowsy brain.  “Is this the part where you offer to teach me, Swan?” he says, advancing to her. 
Read on Ao3 or ff.net
I, lost, was passing by - by @dykelilypage
Five years ago, Emma's father had given her a necklace for her birthday. It was a beautiful ruby encased in a golden chain, that sat heavy on her chest. It was safe to say then, that Emma was more than a little bit pissed off to discover that it had been stolen from right around her neck. The one stroke of luck to the whole ordeal was that she knew exactly who had taken it. Killian Jones. rated E | 6267 words
love scare by @exhaustedpirate
it's a little canon-compliant one-shot that i place during the six weeks of peace, more specifically, like a day or so before 4B rated G | 922 words | ao3
Expecting a Secret [3/3] by @walviemort
Summary: After the events of 3x19, Killian is at his lowest after being rejected by Emma. When Snow’s labor turns out to be a false alarm, Zelena offers Killian a deal: she’ll leave the Charmings alone…if he gives her the baby she needs for her spell instead. There’s just one hitch: he has to keep it a secret. At least it will only take 10 days, right?
The Heart of a Villan (5/5) by @beckettj
There are only two people that can make me care about football: Ted Lasso and this. Words: 6181 ~ AO3
Perilous Harbor by @veryverynotgoodwrites
Emma Swan is heir apparent to her parents' kingdom in the Enchanted Forest, and a powerful wielder of light magic. This makes her the most wanted woman in the realm, not only for marriage, but for leverage against the king and queen. While her parents have been able to keep her safe so far, an attack is launched on Princess Emma that leaves her no choice but to seek the protection of her worst enemy - Killian Jones, infamous captain of the Jolly Roger and his pirate crew. ao3 in progress 19/23
a work of art by @sotangledupinit
“I always have to clean up your messes,” she mutters to herself angrily, eyes glaring down at the red liquid on the floor.
Between Waking Life and Our Dreams (12/?) by @nachocheese-itsmycheese
Season 3b canon divergence: Storybrooke is still missing when Emma, Killian, and Henry reach the town line. AO3 T
The Fluffy Problem by @ineffablecolors
"Oh, I'm going to have fun paying you back, Captain."
ff.net
The Cure for Loneliness (4/?) by @laianely
Killian went to the world without magic to finally kill Crocodile, but instead he met Emma in Gold's shop. And his whole life turned upside down overnight.
E 16k words in progress AO3
Pan Says... (8/?) by @hollyethecurious
After waking up in a strange room with a naked stranger, Emma and Killian must endure the twisted game their kidnapper insists they play in order to gain provisions and avoid punishments.
To Cleave Destiny by @iamstartraveller776
She was going to pass the night the same way she did every year in adulthood: by getting drunk enough to forget that the world was incredibly unfair. Ao3, in progress, T, 4k
Note:
Don't forget to comment and show some love. To me too. Come on. Anyone else who wants to be tagged can request it.
If you have more fic recs or more links, drop them in the comments and I'll include them. You creative mermaids, love ya.
@kmomof4 @caught-in-the-filter @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 @the-darkdragonfly @teamhook @justanother-unluckysoul @karlyfr13s  @snowbellewells @xarandomdreamx @klynn-stormz @omninerdgirl  @facesiousbutton82 @finmnsoh56​ @followbatb @killianxswan @booksteaandtoomuchtv @exhaustedpirate @anmylica @hollyethecurious @winterbaby89 @undercaffinatednightmare @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @stahlords @lfh1226-linda @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite @captainswan-kellie @motherkatereloyshipper @soniccat @jrob64 @beckettj @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jonesfandomfanatic @zaharadessert @bluewildcatfanatic @once-upon-a-happy-end @ultraluckycatnd​
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Kdj and yjh swap au where WOS is a game that only yjh could grind and inside of the Fourth Wall is like. Stardew Valley
#just to be clear kdj still knows way too much in this one#he’s actually one of those tutorial characters. except he makes fun of u#no one else could finish wos cause they couldn’t grind it out#took yjh 1863 tries to finish it only for kdj to show up and laugh at him and tell him he got the worst ending#yjh immediately tries to harm kdj when he sees him after the first scenario still#kdj like. a god so he can’t do jackshit#he’s ancient dream in the sense that he can separate timelines at will at the cost of his age and he can’t actually do anything except offer#info. also hsy is there writing the whole thing out for when kdj inevitably forgets again#also kdj knows abt wos from the beginning cause it’s funnier that way and I think he should still get to know everything#and the reason yjh gets pissed at him on incarnation island is cause kdj keeps making new timelines of him and he finds out cause someone#actually bothers to tell him abt kdj (mass producer)#except he can’t do jackshit to kdj so kdj’s just like if I give u a mini me to either kill or take care of will u feel better? and yjh says#yes then immediately kills it only for kdj to repeatedly replace it until yjh stops killing it#relationship goals ig#look this is a really in depth thought I’ve been having since I’ve found out abt secretive plotter and went. hmm#secretive plotter still exists btw he’s literally just yjh’s avatar from wos#kdj doesn’t know at first but figured it out pretty quick#Anna Croft’s a programmer who made a rip off of wos lmao#except it’s actually a rip off cause I hate Anna croft#look there’s more but it’s four am and I’m tired#night!#kdj#kim dokja#yjh#yoo junghyeok#orv#orv novel spoilers#kinda?? the tags definitely but-#omniscient readers viewpoint
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jyoongim · 2 months
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Hey I love your work so much! Could you please write about alastor with a wife who’s just like Jessica rabbit and ended up in heaven because she didn’t know about him killing but came down to visit him after meeting Charlie when she went up there. I just think I’d be wild for someone like Al to have a wife like that
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AAAAOOOOGGGGAAAAA!!!! I could have written this in soooo many ways but i think its a bit like one i already wrote but I hope you enjoy nevertheless!!! @alientee
I highly recommend you listen to The Night We Met, Copacabana, and Why don’t You Do Right!!!! That’s what I envisioned for this one request!!!!
The meeting between the Princess of Hell and the Angelic council was a mess.
The Princess had a look of defeat, so you took it upon yourself to let her show you her hotel.
You prompted that you will be the one to go down and see if it were possible that demons could be redeemed.
I mean everyone deserves a second chance right?
You were talk even the worst sinner still possessed some sort of decency.
So you followed the Princess to her hotel to show you around.
Charlie was elated that you didn’t think her dream was just some fluck.
She asked you all sorts of questions. How you ended up in heaven and how was your life before you died.
”Believe it or not I was a singer at a gentlemen’s lounge. Oh darlin you should have seen me in my prime! Jazz, booze, and oh I had the sweetest husband.”
Charlie was shocked. I mean, yes you were breathtaking, but you really didn’t seem like the type to be tied down to some guy.
You giggled at her expression.  It was often the look men gave you when you refused their advances, happily boasting you were a taken woman and not some hussy that could warm their beds.
”Oh you’ll really find that the hotel has character. Our hotel manager might be a little…hmmm creepy but don’t pay him any mind” she said opening the door to the hotel to lead you through the lobby.
And character it did.
The interior was old-fashion but it had charm. A bit masculine for a young woman to run it,  but if the manager was a man, you could see why it looked the way it did.
You took a seat on a couch and waited as Charlie went to gather the residents so you would meet them.
You were slightly nervous. You were in Hell and hadn’t the slightest clue what demons even looked like.
You fiddled with your ring, how you wished to see your husband.
”Everyone we have a special guest so pleeeeaasssee be on your best behavior” you heard Charlie say.
You caught sight of a gnarly bar and the bartender, you smiled
”shot of whiskey on the rock love” Husker turned around and his eyes widened, yours did too “Why i never thought…Husker?!” You squealed happily, lunging across the bar to hug the demon. He smiled and patted your back, pulling away “Husker what ya doing down here?” He gave you a deadpan look, making you laugh. You then thought about it..
If Husker was down here then that…
”Charlie you should have said such beauty in our circle i would have cleaned up a lot better” a voice purred, making your head turn.
A tall spider smiled at you, giving you a flirtatious wink, which you sent back with a wave.
A little cyclone, a snake, and a seemingly human woman entered the room.
Charlie smiled “This lovely angel has decided to have a look around to prove Heaven wrong”
You introduced yourself.
”Now i know you’re not here long so Ill give you a quick-”
Charlie was interrupted by a radio-like voice.
”Don’t tell me you’re going to give a tour without me Charlie? You know we work as a team-” his words trailed off as he caught sight of you.
You stood, a happy smile on your face “Alastor baby!” You practically ran into his arms.
”Ain’t no way…”
”Noooo”
”oh welll that do make ssssennssseee”
”Pretty lady!”
everyone watched in shock as Alastor twirled you around, peppering your face in kisses.
”oooohhh my dear what a surprise this is!” He said hugging you. You heard a throat clear and broke your hold on him, turning to see everyone confused.
You gave a sheepish smile. Alastor beamed and hooked a arm around your waist
”Everyone this doll here is my wife! The prettiest thing that ever graced the earth!” You playfully slapped his chest.
Everyone's mouths dropped.
”WHAT!?”
You sat in Alastor’s lap as you told how you knew the red demon. Rambling on about how you two met and how your lives were like.
They just couldn’t process it.
YOU were married to Alastor. 
Married to the most feared Overlord in Hell. 
Wife to the Radio Demon.
How the fuck?
You were an angel? Literally and figuratively!
”How the hell did Mr. Creepy face fancy talk here get a broad like you?” Angel asked.
Alastor’s chest puffed with pride. His smile almost broke his face “with charm and wit my deluded friend” He said as he leaned his chin on your shoulder.
You giggled, it was always entertaining to see people's reactions to who your husband was.
You turned to Alastor,  lips pouty with a feigned upset look
”Now i been dead forever and not once have I seen you. Why? Why weren’t you in Heaven?”
Alastor stiffened, how was he to tell you that during your time alive he had killed many people just for the fun of it?
“Weeelll my dear I might have killed a few people” 
You blinked and then thought about it.
It kind of made sense, he used to be out ‘hunting’ at weird times of day, be gone at night saying he was working.
 You had a hard time getting stains out of his clothing.
That do explains some things.
”So do you regret anything?” He let out a laugh
nope. Not a single thing.
You shook your head “well since I’m heeeerrrrreee…why don’t we swing by juke joint, if you’re here, I’m sure Mimzy is here. I could use a good time. Its stuffy up there in Heaven. No fun at all”
Charlie perked “Ahh yes you must see how the sinners here are really like and what better than enagaging with them?”
Angel smirked “I know a place waaaayy better than some old booze lounge”
A club. You were at a club.
Your eyes honed in on a mic on the stage and it just happened to be open night.
You batted your eyes and just like that you were on stage.
The lights dimmed and you flipped through some songs to pick.
You might have been a bit old-fashioned but you were caught up on some of the modern singers that came through heaven.
The band nodded at your choice and you took hold of the mic.
With a twirl of your hand, you dawned on a 1920s theme look.
The gang mouths were jaw dropped as you started to sing, the audience was captivated. Catcalls and whistles filled the air.
Alastor felt static run through him as he sighed lovingly as you came down the stage and sat on his lap, mock fixing his bow tie as you sang. You teasingly nipped at his lips, causing his ears to twitch as you smiled going back to waltzing around the stage.
You smiled as bowed as the crowd exploded with cheers and applause as the lights came back on.
Ain’t no way Alastor had a bad broad like you, but the way you happily giggled as he whispered in your ear, pulling you into his chest…
There wasn’t denying it.
You held the Radio Demon’s dark heart.
His sweet, alluring wife
who would have thought?
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theemporium · 2 months
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[5k] luke hughes swore he would never tell another soul and take his confession to the grave. that ends as an epic fail as he tells a really pretty girl his most embarrassing secret. luckily for him, she seems pretty eager to help him out.
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It shouldn’t be embarrassing, but it was. It really fucking was.
It wasn’t always a big deal. When he was in high school, everybody was just like him. Or at least, most people were. HIs friend group were. And they would always talk about how fun college would be, how everything would change, how everyone grew up and just did it. 
And then he went to college and nothing really changed. It was a bit embarrassing, it made his cheeks burn bright red whenever he spoke about it. But it also wasn’t the most unbelievable thing. Between keeping his GPA up, his training regime and the countless games during the season, it wasn’t shocking to anyone that he didn’t have as much free time as movies liked to make it seem like. 
But then he moved up. He went from being a kid with a dream to actually living that dream and beyond. A joke from his childhood became a reality when he found himself on the ice with his older brother, wearing the same jersey as his older brother. Suddenly, it was all real and intense and he was in it properly. 
But, fuck, it was embarrassing that he was in the National Hockey League and he was a fucking virgin.
In theory, he knew it wasn’t a big deal. It didn’t change the way he played or his performance on the ice. It didn’t affect his professional life in any way, shape or form. But it still made him want to curl up in a corner and shrivel his existence away whenever he thought about it too long.
And it wasn’t like it was obvious. He wasn’t announcing it to the world and rambling on about it in interviews. But the amount of jokes people made about women throwing themselves at his feet or having a turnstile of people in his bed felt like he might as well be. 
The awkward laughs and strained smiles would only take him so far before someone caught on. 
And that might have been the worst part—the fact that nobody knew. Not his friends in high school nor the ones he made in college. None of his teammates. Not even his brothers (though, the idea of him even telling them whether or not he was a virgin was an experience he would like to avoid all together). 
Nobody in the fucking world knew Luke Hughes was a virgin except him and, in a weird way, it was kind of fucking lonely.
Or at least, nobody else knew until he met you.
The night he met you had been a few days after the Devils had been kicked out of the playoffs. 
Despite the loss, Nico wanted one last team celebration to sign off a good season. Because yes, it fucking sucked that they were knocked out and it sucked they wouldn’t be the ones to lift the Stanley Cup this year. But they still played well, they deserved to appreciate that, to appreciate each other. 
And, on a more personal level, it was a chance to celebrate with the NHL team he could now call his home.
He was in the big leagues now. He was in the NHL and he was a professional hockey player and, by the power of some fucking superior being he did not know, he was lucky enough to share a team with at least one of his brothers. 
It still felt like a dream.
And with that dream came the joys and perks of being a New Jersey Devil—like not being ID’d in the bar the team commonly visited. 
“Takin’ it all in?” 
He tore his eyes away from the surrounding bar to look at his brother, perched on the edge of the pool table Nathan and Kevin were currently competing on. He had been happy to just watch, observe—for lack of better terms—take it all in, like Jack assumed. 
Instead, he just retorted with, “it’s a bar. Not much to take in that I haven’t seen before.”
“Okay, college boy,” Jack snorted, his cheeks flushed the same shade of red as the vodka cranberries he had been drinking all night. “I meant the big leagues.”
Luke resisted the urge to snort. “Ask me again in a year when it’s actually sunk in.”
Something in Jack’s face softened. “I’m glad you’re here, Moose.”
His throat felt a little tight but he still smiled. “Me too.”
He had assumed that was the end of the conversation, but that was Luke’s first mistake. He hadn’t paid much attention to the way Jack’s eyes roamed around the bar, narrowed like he was looking for something or, in this case, someone.
“What do ya think about her?”
Luke blinked, looking at his brother with a confused glance before he followed his line of vision to some blonde settled against the wall on the other side of the bar. 
“What about her?”
Jack shot him a look. “Do you think she’s pretty?”
Luke hesitated, almost as though it was a trick question. “Yes?”
Jack’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t sound convinced,” he commented. “So, blonde isn’t your type. What is then? Brunettes? Redheads? Miscellaneous?”
“No, I—” Luke frowned. “I’m surprised you even know what miscellaneous means.”
Jack punched his arm in response. 
“Why are you asking about my type?” Luke questioned, something that felt a lot like uncertainty bubbling in his stomach.
Jack let out a deep sigh, prolonging it to properly encapture his annoyance. “I’m trying to help you get laid, bud.”
Luke froze. 
There was no way Jack could know. He knew that. He did. Logically, it was impossible for his brother to know he was a virgin when Luke had genuinely never admitted as much beyond the age of seventeen. But here he is, seemingly trying to find him someone to sleep with. There was no way he could know, there was no way Jack knew—
“I mean, you’re in the fucking league now, bud. Milk it a little, have some fun!” Jack continued, lost in his own rambles to even notice the way Luke’s shoulders sagged with relief. “I’m sure college was fun and all, but this is better!” 
Luke tried to let out a laugh. “I think I’m alright for tonight.” 
Jack huffed out in annoyance. “Don’t be a bore! Luke, you’re in the NHL. You just fucking played in the playoffs! Enjoy yourself, man.” 
“I am enjoying myself,” Luke countered. 
“You’ve been drinking the same beer since we got here,” Jack snapped back with a knowing look. “And I know it tastes like shit because I did the exact same thing when I first ordered a drink here. I’m trying to be your guru, help you avoid the mistakes I made.”
“My guru,” Luke repeated with a snort. “More like an unwanted Cupid.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “C’mon—”
“Focus on yourself.”
“It’s my duty as a brother—”
“I am not staying to listen to this,” Luke grumbled, batting away his brother’s hands as he began to make his way to the bar. As much as he hated to admit it, Jack was right—this beer tasted horrible and not even the tiny sips he had been taking were going to save it. 
He settled himself on a free spot at the bar, his elbows placed on the slightly sticky countertop as he peered over to try find a bartender. He saw a few on the other side of the bar finishing off a few drinks and accepted the small wait, a little lost in his own thoughts and whether he wanted to try another drink instead of just settling for something non-alcoholic when a hand settled on his back. 
“There you are, babe!”
Luke frowned, turning around to find you staring right back at him with a grin on your face. Honestly, he was expecting to turn around and let the person realise they had made a mistake. But your smile remained on your face, though the wide eyes staring back at him were a little distressing. 
“Uh, I think you—” But he was cut off by another voice, a much deeper one this time.
“This is your boyfriend?” 
The man was average height and fairly built, but that was all he had going for him. His shirt was definitely a size too small to make him look bigger and the chunky chain looked nothing short of tacky. And Luke may have been in his presence for less than thirty seconds, but the body spray was overwhelming and pungent and made him want to plug his nose. 
Now, Luke may be a little slow but he isn’t dumb.
He may be deeply confused by the sudden promotion to boyfriend from a stranger but it didn’t take long for Luke to realise the wide, distressing eyes were a cry for help and the walking embodiment of Axe body spray in a tight shirt was the reason. 
“Uh, yeah!” Luke cleared his throat a little, his arm moving to wrap around your shoulders in the least awkward way he could possibly achieve. “She’s my girl! Uh, girlfriend! She’s my—” His cheeks burned but he couldn’t stop his mouth from moving. “She’s my babe!” 
The man glanced between you and Luke for a few moments before rolling his eyes, muttering something under his breath about wasting his time before he disappeared into the throng of people crowded by the bar. 
“What a dick,” you murmured and it almost made Luke jump when he remembered you were still beside him, that his arm was still around your shoulders. You turned around to look at him once you knew the other guy was gone, and your smile seemed softer now. “Thank you for that, really. You’re a lifesaver.”
“It’s no biggie,” Luke replied, cringing a little before he quickly continued. “Thanks for giving me the honour of being your fake boyfriend.”
You snorted. “Yeah, well, you have a friendly face. You looked like you would go along with it.”
His cheeks burned warmer. “Thanks?”
“You’re welcome,” you grinned before turning to settle in the spot next to him, fingers tapping on the bar counter. “Let me buy you a drink to thank you for your services?” 
Luke began shaking his head. “That really isn’t necessary—”
“Please,” you insisted, a softer expression on your face. “It would make me feel better for dragging you into my scheme.”
“I—” He cleared his throat, hoping to some superior being that his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “O-Okay.”
Your grin widened. “Brilliant. What do you want?” 
“A Coke.”
“Really?”
“Yes?”
“Okay, no judgement, just surprised,” you said, leaning over the bar to place your drink order along with his before you turned back to the boy. “So, do I at least get to know my fake boyfriend’s name?”
HIs lips twitched upwards. “Luke.”
“Luke,” you repeated before telling him your name, something gleaming in your eyes when you did. “So, Luke, what brings you to a bar on a Monday night to drink Coke?” 
“I’m here with some work friends,” he lied easily, not really one to play the professional hockey player card (despite Trevor’s insistence that it was expected to be used for this reason exactly). “Just enjoying the night before we all head off for the summer.”
“Hm, here with your work buddies but staying sober and standing alone at a bar,” you mused. “You’re quite intriguing, Luke.”
“I think that’s a compliment,” he murmured with a frown. 
“It is,” you assured him with a smile.
Luke opened his mouth to say something before the familiar voice of his brother reached him. 
“LUKEY BOY IS GETTING SOME!”
He shut his eyes, muttering a list of curses under his breath before he finally looked at you with a sheepish expression. “I’m so sorry about him. Just ignore him, he’s a little drunk and—”
“Hey, it’s fine,” you assured him with a laugh. “Work buddy?”
“Mhm,” Luke confirmed with a nod. “And my older brother.”
“That sounds like an intense work environment,” you commented.
“Tell me about it,” he grumbled, but there was still a smile on his face. “I wouldn’t blame you for making a run for it now while you have the chance. Jack will only get worse.”
You waved him off, smiling. “Your brother isn’t scaring me off,” you assured him. “Plus, I said I was intrigued and I’m enjoying talking to you. Makes it seem a lot more believable that you’re my boyfriend if that other dude is lingering around.” 
“Yeah, totally,” Luke agreed, something warm bursting in his stomach at the fact you wanted to keep talking to him. 
And despite what Jack and the others assume, nothing more happened between the two of you than just talking. It was bittersweet, in a way. Because Luke really enjoyed talking to you that night, even if he knew he would probably never see you again. 
But it was nice and it replayed in his head a lot more than he cared to admit that summer.
He assumed it was guaranteed that he would never see you again. 
So, it was pretty shocking when he did, in fact, see you again at a house party held by one of the boys of all fucking places in the pre-season.
As the new season approached and the overwhelming realisation that he was about to enter his rookie season of the NHL hit him, Luke didn’t even hesitate to accept the invitation for the ‘small get together’ with the boys. These were his teammates, these were the people he was going to have to trust and navigate on the ice with. It seemed like a nice idea to have a few chilled hangouts whilst training dragged everyone back to New Jersey.
What Jack and everyone else had failed to mention was the fact a ‘small get together’ did not just mean the team like he assumed. It meant a house full of people that Luke certainly didn’t know or recognise, but seemed to know exactly who he was. 
He was only slightly ashamed to admit that he clung onto Jack’s side as long as he could. But his brother was a social butterfly who liked to jump between different crowds and it was too much for Luke. Instead, he had settled near a couch where John and Kevin had been rambling away to each other when Jack suddenly appeared—out of thin air—with a huge grin on his face. 
“Hey, Rusty, is that not your girl from the bar?”
Luke’s brows furrowed together in confusion. “Huh?”
But Jack didn’t say much, just nudging his little brother to look over his shoulder. His lips parted again, prepared to tell Jack that he was drunker than he expected him to be after a few beers, only to find the words stuck in the back of his throat when he turned around and saw you.
He had thought about you more than he cared to admit over the summer. Just random little flashes of the conversations you shared. It was stupid, and a little pathetic, but you just felt…different—in the least cliche way possible.
It was almost embarrassing how quickly his cheeks just heated at the sight of you. 
No, correction: it was really fucking embarrassing. 
“Aw, did Lukey invite his lil’ crush?” Jack teased, reaching out to mockingly pinch his cheeks but Luke batted his hand away just in time.
“Shut up,” he grumbled before clearing his throat, turning to faze his brother again. “I didn’t. I–I don’t even know why she is here.”
Jack shot him a look. “Go on, then.”
Luke frowned. “What?”
“You are actually clueless,” Jack grumbled under his breath before giving him a hearty shove. “Go talk to her!”
His eyes widened. “What?!”
“Go talk to her,” Jack repeated, not understanding the panic in his younger brother. “You guys were hitting it off at the bar, what’s the big deal? Maybe you can hook up with her again.”
“I—” He started before realising this was not the time to delve into the same argument they had had since the night at the bar. “It’s fine, she probably doesn’t even remember me.”
His brother scoffed. “You’re shitting me, right?”
Luke blinked. “No?” 
“Dude, she was all over you!” Jack insisted, giving him another shove that had him stumbling slightly. “Go!”
Luke could feel his cheeks heating up. “Jack—”
“It’s my big brother duty to help you!”
Shove.
“Jack, fuck off. It’s not gonna happen.”
Shove.
“Yes, it will. Stop being a coward.”
Shove.
“Can you stop? I am not—”
Shove.
“Go talk to her!”
Shove.
“No—”
Except, the little shoves and lack of balance with the drinks he had been nursing through the night seemed to catch up on Luke. He stumbled back, his footing gone and his free hand reaching out to grasp Jack or something to stop him from falling. But it was too late. He was stumbling and his drink was sloshing and it went all over—
You. 
It went all over you because now you were right there, right in front of him, having just walked across the room to come and see him.
“Oh shit,” Jack muttered from behind him.
You looked down at your shirt—your very white shirt that now had some atrocious red stain splattered across the front from the cocktail John had made him—and stared in shock. 
Luke felt his whole body curl in on itself, his face burning and his chest feeling oddly tight. “I am so sorry—”
But, to his fucking shock (because you seemed to shock him a lot, if he was honest), you looked up at him and laughed. 
“Unlucky timing, huh?” You joked but Luke didn’t feel like laughing. 
“I can—” But he paused, not even sure what he was going to say. 
“Liking the colour red a little too much there, Cherry!” A voice from somewhere in the crowd—Luke genuinely wasn’t sure where—called out and your face brightened. 
“It’s a good thing I can pull it off!” You retorted, unfazed by the name. 
Cherry. 
Usually, Luke would chalk it up to his memory being fairly shit and the months that had passed since that night in the bar making him confuse your name for something else. Except, the boy had practically relived that night in his head on a constant loop. Every word. Every sentence. Every second of it. 
Pathetic? Yes.
Helpful? Probably not in any way, shape or fucking form except for the fact he was certain your name was not Cherry. He was more than certain. At least, he was certain that wasn’t the name you had told him. 
There were so many logical and simple reasons, he knew that deep down. But right now, Luke was embarrassed and flustered and he had this horrible inkling that you told him a fake name in case you thought he was a creep at the bar like the guy he saved you from and—
Yeah, Luke really didn’t like the idea of that. He didn’t like the idea of being paired in a category with that man. And he certainly didn’t like the idea that he made you uncomfortable enough to give him a fake name, even if he had given you no real reason to do otherwise. 
Someone pushed through the crowd as Luke continued to spiral in his own thoughts, unable to even get a coherent sentence out when Nico glanced between you and him. He let out a sigh, shaking his head as he offered you an apology before he turned to Luke.
“You can show her where the bathroom is, right?” 
And, fuck, he really thought this was the closest he could reach to ever feeling something close to hatred towards his captain.
Luke nodded his head, unable to get a word out and nodded towards the stairs. 
You seemed to catch his hint well enough as you turned to head towards the stairs. Until your hand was reaching back, taking his in your grasp and intertwining your fingers together and Luke’s brain short circuited all over again.
“Get it, Moose!”
Jack was pretty high on that almost-hate list too.
Luke felt like his body was on autopilot as he moved towards the stairs, letting you lead him up with your hands still connected until you reached the top. You looked at him expectantly and he led you towards the bathroom—one of the larger ones because he thought he would die if he was trapped in a small, enclosed space with you after he just spilled his drink all over you.
He opened the door, flicking the light on before stepping aside and letting you head inside. Except, the world seemed to have something against him, you dragged him into the bathroom behind you, your hands still connected, and grinned at him.
“Help a girl out?” 
Luke cleared his throat but nodded. 
He tried not to think too hard when you eventually dropped his hand. He tried not to think too hard when you locked the bathroom door. He tried not to think too hard as you glanced at him through the mirror. 
And he was doing well until you went and pulled your shirt over your head. 
His eyes widened, a spluttered noise of surprise leaving his lips as his eyes instantly snapped to the ceiling. But it was useless, he could already feel his blush crawling down his neck and burning hot.
“Relax,” you laughed. “I’m not giving you the full show. Just need to get this stain out.” 
“Mhm,” he hummed but his eyes remained on the ceiling. 
“Luke?”
“Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
“Uh huh.”
You let out a hum, like you didn’t quite believe him but you didn’t seem to push further. Instead, he heard the tap turn on and the water started running and suddenly, the bigger bathroom didn’t feel big enough.
“I’m not a creep!” He blurted out.
You paused. “Is that why you are staring at the ceiling? To prove you aren’t a creep?”
“No, well—” He cut himself off and let out a deep breath. “No, I just…your friend called you Cherry down there. You gave me a different name. I just…didn’t want you to think you had to give me a fake name because I was a creep. Granted, you don’t owe me anything but I just wanted to assure you—”
“Luke?”
He swallowed hard. “Yeah?” 
“I don’t think you’re a creep. And I didn’t lie about my name either,” you said, your voice a little softer this time. “People just call me Cherry.” 
And for a boy who ate, lived and breathed a sport that classically gave stupid nicknames to everyone and everything, he had never felt quite this dumb.
“Oh.” 
“Are you going to look at me now?” 
He waited for a moment. And then another. And then, before he chickened out of it, he lowered his gaze until he met yours—and didn’t let his eyes wander any further. 
“You’re an interesting boy,” you mused, tilting your head to the side.
His brows furrowed together. “Thank you?”
You grinned at his response before you turned back to the sink, seamlessly continuing to scrub your shirt under the running tap. 
Luke watched you for a few moments, trying to just stew in the silence and let you do your work. But the seconds kept ticking by and the silence was becoming more stifling and there was only so much he could handle before he wanted to rip his eyes out. 
“I’m sorry about my brother, by the way,” he said when he couldn’t think of anything else to say. “He’s a lil’ enthusiastic but he means no harm.” 
“He seems quite desperate to get you laid,” you noted, your eyes briefly finding him in the mirror again. “A lot of your friends do.”
His cheeks burned again. “They do that with everyone. They just like to be wingmen, you know?” 
Your eyes narrowed slightly on him. “But it makes you uncomfortable.” 
You say it like a fact, not a question. 
Luke choked a little. “Well—”
“Why not just tell them to back off?” You questioned and Luke welcomed the fresh, bitter twinge of embarrassment that washed over him.
“Because they would ask questions,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “It’s just easier to let them mess about.” 
You looked intrigued now. “Why?”
Luke shifted under the intensity of your gaze. “Because then they would ask why I didn’t want to hook up with anyone.” 
You raised your brows. “Not a one-night stand kind of man?”
And honestly, he should have just cut the conversation there. He should have deflected the topic onto something else or gave some vague answer. Hell, even telling you to mind your own business was a better answer. But the alcohol made him feel buzzed, your presence was overwhelming and—for the first time in his life—Luke found himself blurting out the words he swore he would take to the grave.
“Because I’m a virgin.” 
You blinked. And he fucking waited for it. 
He waited for you to laugh. He waited for you to laugh and howl and cackle at his pathetic admission. To mock him, to tease him, to make him feel worse than he already felt. He waited and waited and waited. 
And it never came.
“And you can’t tell them that?” You questioned.
“I, uh,” Luke shook his head, his stomach somersaulting inside him in the worst ways possible. “No, it’s a little…taboo in my line of work.” 
You turned to actually look at him instead of gazing at him in the mirror. “Are you a sex worker?”
Luke spluttered, shaking his head. “What? No! No, I…I’m a hockey player.” 
You frowned a little. “Hockey players can’t be virgins?” 
“Well, it’s not like a set rule but like,” he paused, waving his hands around like that explained everything. But you still looked confused and Luke knew he had to keep talking. “Everyone just kinda expects hockey players to be some kind of…sex god. Or something. I don’t know. All I know is that it’s not really common to be a virgin in the league.” 
“Okay,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest—where you still stood in only a bra covering yourself. “So, like, are you a virgin…by choice?”
“Oh my god,” Luke groaned, bringing his hands to cover his face before it got even more red.
“I don’t mean it in a bad way!” You assured him. “I was just curious.”
“Nobody was supposed to know,” Luke grumbled into his hands, but you seemed to understand him well enough.
“I won’t tell a soul,” you promised.
But the damage was done and Luke wanted nothing more than for the floor to open up and drag him into the depths of the Earth.
He needed to get out of this bathroom. He needed to get out and go downstairs, rush through a flurry of goodbyes to the team before he quickly escaped and headed home where he could hide his embarrassment in a large tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream that certainly wasn’t in his meal plan. 
He just needed to turn around, unlock the door and slip out before you had the chance to—
“What if I helped you?”
Yeah, that was not what he expected.
His hands dropped from his face as he stared at you, his expression almost blank except for the confusion shining in his eyes. “Huh?”
“What if I helped you?” You repeated.
“Helped me with what?” 
“Being a virgin,” you said with a shrug. “It seems like it’s really important to you, or something. And I think you are bigging it up in your head a little more than necessary. Maybe you just need someone to give you a helping hand, you know? Guide you through it, help you learn. No pressure, yeah?”
He blinked. “And…you would do that?”
“Yeah, why not,” you answered honestly with a shrug of your shoulders. “You intrigue me, Luke.”
“I intrigue you,” he repeated slowly, and he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“It’s not a bad thing to be intriguing.”
“It is when you make it sound like I’m some kind of experiment.”
You flashed him a softer smile and something in his chest eased a little. “You don’t have to say yes, it was just a suggestion. Just…a new friend helping her new friend out.”
New friend. 
Luke swallowed. “And…what would you gain from this?”
You sighed, shrugging your shoulders again. “Honestly? I’ve had my fair share of disappointing experiences in bed by guys who think they are sex gods. Call it a gift to womankind if I help at least one guy be competent and capable in bed.” 
He blinked. “Right. Gift to womankind. That’s me.’
You snorted. “Just think about it, yeah? Obviously, you can go about with whatever you are doing. Just a suggestion to make a casual thing out of it, to help take the stress away. It’s your choice, Luke.” 
It was his choice. 
He knew it was his choice and, despite knowing little about you, some stupid part of him trusted that you were being genuine. You were odd but you were sincere, and he knew your offer was sincere too. If he took you up on it, you would help him out. If he declined, you wouldn’t push the matter any further and just move on in your life. 
No more words were exchanged after that, the offer lingering and the tap still running as the red stain showed no signs of budging under the soap and cold water. He knew he didn’t have to give you an answer there and then. 
But the worst part was that Luke was pretty fucking sure he knew what his answer was the first time the offer left your lips.
And he pretty sure the remaining stain on your shirt was some sort of bad omen from the universe that already liked to tease him, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
He was fucking done being a twenty year old virgin and you were his solution to the problem.
.
922 notes · View notes
Note
Can you write hcs for Luke and a daughter of Hypnos (😴)
PLEASE
🥰
(If possible?)
⋆⭒˚.⋆ luke castellan x daughter of hypno! reader hcs
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content: luke castellan x daughter of hypno! reader hcs warning: so soft you'll puke tho tbh minor mentions of luke's angst author's note: why do i love this more than life itself???? i dunno, you tell me. i kinda wish it was longer but yo girl outta ideas. also, i think im so fucking funny for that last line like hello guys where is my oscar for funniest teen girl to exist????
lukey pookie and his sleepy girl frrrrr
you guys were, like, aware of each other but not like friends, ya know???
until his quest - well, failed quest
he kept having nightmares, horrors of the shame on his father's face, visions of his mother hearing the news had he actually died, terrible dreams of demented dragons and enough golden apples to drown in
chris noticed and suggest luke go see you, hypno's best daughter
chris knew you following a head injury that had him scared he was going to fall into a coma, but the apollo cabin had called you over to sooth his nerves.
you were also often called in when new, younger campers were struggling to sleep, which made the a common but distant face in the hermes cabin
and chris just knew you could do wonders for luke's recent sleep problems
after a little bit of resistance, luke finally went to you
he'd had the worst nightmare yet, leaving him with huge bags under his eyes and a tension in his shoulders that he couldn't seem to loose
he figured it quite literally couldn't get any worse, so he knocked on the door of cabin fifteen, already feeling slightly more at peace from just standing outside it
then a pretty girl opened the door, a cute yawn hidden behind her hand
"h-hey! luke, right? what can i do for ya?" you muttered, rubbing the sleep from your eyes before beaming a soft smile at the boy
luke choked on nothing, attempting to get words out but his tongue kept getting in the way and all that came out was chortled noises
you giggled softly, unable to keep them in despite the boys growing blush
"i-i- chris, he said- er, something about you being able to help me sleep with you- sorry! no, sleep, just, you know, in general," luke finally managed to spit out, his brain working overtime and the words coming out all wrong
you giggled at the boy once more before leaning forwards and grasping his wrist, tugging him into your cabin
you gestured towards one of the free, fluffy beds, disappearing off to somewhere, though you kept talking to the boy
"chris is really worried about you, ya know. i almost had to visit you, which we don't do very often. here, you want some tea?? lavender or chamomile? i prefer the chamomile but i think you'd like the lavender," you rambled, sitting beside him in the bed criss cross and presenting him with a mug and holding up two separate tea bags
"chamomile's fine," luke replied, taking the teabag from you, not wanting to mention that it reminded him of his mom but it reminded him of his mom
"chamomile's great!" you joked, bumping your shoulder with his
a few minutes passed of just luke drinking the tea and yawning before you mentioned that he should lie down, removing the mug from his hands
he was resistant, admittedly, not wanting to risk seeing more horrible things in his head
but you took his hand into yours, gently running your fingers along the veins and bones that you could just feel through his skin
"you think i'm just here for shits and giggles?? nah, i'm here to fistfight the boogie man. and lemme tell ya, these fists are lethal," you joke, winking at the boy, who laughed, settling into the soft pillows and blanket
but most importantly, he was settling into your presence, the hold you had on his hand, the soothing that your voice did to his brain and heart
and luke fell asleep, peacefully drifting off to the sounds of your hums and the feeling of your soft fingers ghosting over his skin
for the first time in a long while, luke castellan slept like a baby, warm and coddled and trusting that nothing bad could happen to him
not with the defender of REM cycle there
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ponderingmoonlight · 6 months
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Sukuna coming for Megumi's little sister at Shibuya (pt. ll)
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Part l can be found here
Pairing: Sukuna x Megumi's little sister; Yuji x Megumi's little sister
Word Count: 2,5k
Synopsis: After the incident of Yuji almost losing his life and Megumi's little sister confessing her feelings to him, they finally live in peace. But then Shibuya comes around as well as suppressed Sukuna who takes interest in you...
Warnings: language, injury, self harm, mostly Sukuna
Tags: @sanicsmut (yk why my lovely), @sunshine7queen
It’s been months. Months since you finally confessed your feelings to none other than Yuji Itadori in pouring rain, months since finally having the relationship you always dreamed of, months in which everything went just right.
Yes, ups and downs were and will always be part of the job, but you stood on each other’s side till the very end.
“Hey, are you alright?”
Your fingers gently caressed his back, other hand combing through his pink hair.
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. After all you’re by my side, right?”
Your heart melted like chocolate in the sun, arms embracing him tightly before you could help yourself. Oh that boy. That beautiful boy who swept you off your feet, the boy you’ve been in love with since stepping a foot into Jujutsu High. In that moment you laid beside him, eyes staring at the ceiling while holding his hand and breathing against his chest.
“I’ll always be by your side, Yuji.”
 Yes, everything went just fine. But at Shibuya, everything changed.
“Where’s Yuji?” you huff into your big brothers face, completely out of breath.
“And what happened to Ino?”
“(y/n), what happened to your face?”
You can’t explain right now. In fact, all that’s on your mind is Yuji after fighting your way through the whole city.
“We’ll meet again as soon as possible, okay?”
Why? Why were you assigned to follow Nanami and that old fart instead of Mei and Yuji? Why weren’t you able to support your brother and your boyfriend? You had a bad feeling in your guts right from the start, but when seeing Ino’s unconscious figure you suspect nothing but the worst.
“Where’s Yuji?”
The evasive look in Megumi’s tells you everything before he even opens his mouth.
“He went into the train station in order to find Gojo-sensei…”
Your world stops, head spinning in thick fear. He went into the train station.
All alone.
“Why would you let him go there alone?”
Roughly, you grab your big brother’s collar, fisting the fabric so tightly that it gets hard for Megumi to breathe.
“Why would you let him leave when even Gojo got sealed? Why did you let him go?”, you hiss through gritted teeth, tears veiling your sight.
This is bad. Very very bad. He wasn’t replying to any of your messages for over an hour now. An hour in which he could have get killed already.
Or even worse.
The thought of Sukuna inside him taking over runs shivers down your spine. After that fateful day when you thought you lost the love of your life forever, you encountered him last. The cruelest of the cruel, the king of curses.
You feel like throwing up. No, you need to focus. Right now, there’s only one thing you can do.
“Where do you thing you’re going, (y/n)?”, Megumi barks at you while grabbing your hand and yanking you over.
“What do you think? I’m looking after Yuji!”
“There’s nothing you can do-“
“What do you know about it?”, you interrupt him immediately.
“I love him, Megumi. And I won’t let him die at Shibuya alone or even worse, let Sukuna take over his body. I’ll keep you updated.”
And with that, you turn on your heels and run as fast as your feet carry towards the center of Shibuya. Please. Please let everything be alright. Your heart almost hammers out of your chest, vision foggy with thick fear.
Please hold on, Yuji.
-Sukuna-
“How could you lose against such a weakling?”
He smiles to himself, sunning in the scorching pain that echoes through his vessel’s body.
Until you appear on his mind again.
Oh god, you. The girl that brat fell head over heels for, the girl that confessed to him in pouring rain after encountering himself. You have some nerves, laying inside of this loser’s arms each and every night while Sukuna himself can’t help but wonder what your body feels like, sensing how he kisses your lips while Sukuna desires a taste of his own. No, Sukuna was never jealous about anything that brat has.
But you.
He leans forward, a wave of Yuji’s memories washing over him. Your soft hair and glistening eyes, your oh so kind smile, the way you lay against his chest.
“Why this loser?” he mumbles to himself.
“Why are you even attracted to a brat like him when you can do so much better?”
With him, maybe. Sukuna was never a man of feelings, after all he is the king of curses, the cruelest creature walking on this earth. But there’s just something about you that keeps him entertained, something that begs him to have a taste.
Maybe today, here at Shibuya, his time has come.
(y/n)’s POV
It’s like living in a nightmare you can’t wake up to, seeing two girls bending over the lifeless body of your boyfriend.
“What did you do to him?”, you scream out.
Until you gaze at the finger in their hands.
Until your mind begins to realize what is going on here.
“How many fingers did you feed him already?”
You feel like a ghost in a shell, as if all of this is only a dream. This isn’t Yuji Itadori laying right in front of you, right? These aren’t Sukuna’s fingers, correct?
“How many fingers!?”, you scream on top of your lungs.
You hinge forwards, ready to rip their hands off when suddenly, a sheer force stops you in your tracks and slams your body against a nearby wall. You feel like dying, organs pressed so harshly against the hard concrete that you can swear you were able to feel every single one burst. All you are capable to do is stare at the volcano in front of you setting the two girl in flames and casually pulling out more of these cursed fingers, more of his fingers.
“N-no”, you croak out.
No, you need to do something, you need to get out of this wall, you need to stop him from feeding all of Sukuna’s fingers to Yuji.
With a violent scream you break away, landing knees first on the cold floor. Damn, you feel like bleeding out, whole vision going black just by the thought of standing up. But you have to do this, one step at a time.
For him, for Yuji.
“Get. Your. Dirty. Hands. Off. Him.”, you hiss through gritted teeth, snapping the volcano head’s hand away just in time before he is able to force the last finger down Yuji’s throat.
“I thought you are dead already. Leave me alone, stupid girl.”
It happens so fast that you aren’t even able to comprehend what is going on. In the split of a second his hand darts towards you, fire bursting out of his palms. But it doesn’t reach you. No, instead both of his arms get cut off, coloring everything around you in deep purple.
“You have some nerves, trying to touch her so casually. Who do you think you are, you worm?”
That voice, that presence. Your whole body shivers in nothing but thick fear, head slowly turning around. Please let it be a nightmare, a misunderstanding. This can’t be reality.
“Hello sweetheart, did you miss me?”
“Sukuna…”, you breathe out.
You stare right into his red eyes, tattoos all over his face revealing his true identity without any doubt. The man sitting next to you isn’t Yuji Itadori anymore. No, this is the king of curses himself, none other than Sukuna.
“Long time no see. I’ve been waiting for this moment long enough”, he purrs, a cheeky grin plastered on his face while he brushes through Yuji’s hair.
“Where’s Yuji?”
Your voice isn’t more than a fade whisper in the darkness, his sheer presence clouded by so much power and strength that you feel like fainting. Yes, the man in front of you could kill you without even twitching.
“Why is everything about this brat? He’s in the background where he belongs. Oh, not so fast.”
Just when the volcano man next to you is about to stand up, Sukuna cuts off his feet without ease. You stare at him through glossy eyes, the flawless appearance of your boyfriend looking so distressed by his occurrence. A quiet laughter escapes his lips and sends another wave of shivers down your spine. How can a creature walking on this earth be so evil?
“Now kneel.”
He stands in front of you staring down at you with amusement sparkling in his eyes. He’s talking to you, there’s no doubt. Your limbs feel like burning alive, whole body exhausted by all the fights and tactical thinking. You would love to kneel on the floor at least for a while, finally some rest.
But instead, you lift your trembling figure off the floor, straightening your shoulders with your head up.
“I would rather die than kneeling in front of someone as disgusting as you”, you reply with firm voice.
Is this how you’ll die? Through the deformed hands of your very own boyfriend, through the king of curses himself?
Suddenly he bursts out laughing, grabbing your chin roughly.
“It would have truly disappointed me if you lost your spark. But for your braveness, everyone at Shibuya will lose their lives this night”, he hisses into your ear, yanking your head to the side so violently that it feels like he’s breaking your neck.
“Please don’t.”
You force yourself to look into the black hole of his eyes, to resist the fear he tries to cause in your heart.
“These people are innocent. They don’t deserve to die. But you do.”
He tilts his head to the side, grinning down at you with so much cruelness glistening in his red orbs that it simply takes your breath away. How many fingers did they feed him when you weren’t here? Way too many. After all, Yuji was always able to overpower him, to take control over his own body. But not now.
With the snip of his finger, both girls get sliced into a thousand tiny pieces, their blood and intensities discoloring everything around you crimson.
Red.
Everything red.
He ended their lives without thinking twice.
“Why the hell did you do that?” you spit into his face.
Out of instinct, your flat palm rushes towards his face, just inches away from hitting him when he catches your hand mid-air.
“Because I can. Obey me or I’ll kill every human being at Shibuya. Especially your brother.”
Your eyes widen in horror, pictures of Megumi flooding your mind. Despite you seem to be two different people with nothing in common, you love your brother dearly. If something happens to him because of you, if Sukuna hurts a single hair on his body…
“Don’t you dare to touch him or I’ll kill myself.”
His red orbs widen in surprise. Oh, that’s new. The look in your eyes tells him that you’re serious about your words.
“What makes you believe I’d care about that?”
He would never admit it out loud, but the thought of your precious life ending distresses him. No, not until he is finished with you, not until he got a taste of what belongs to Yuji Itadori.
“Because I know you care about me”, you reply confidently.
You know it’s dumb, that you might die right here on the spot through your own hands. But you can’t help it. Your own life is your only leverage against Sukuna. Without hesitation you press your own knife against your throat until blood spills. Maybe this will show you what Sukuna’s real intentions are. Or even better, you’ll be able to set Yuji free again.
“Go on, I couldn’t care less.”
Why does your hand fight so desperately against your mind, refusing to cut your own flesh open? Ice cold sweat runs down your forehead, fingertips trembling underneath the force of the blade in your own hand. You just have to press harder, slicing open your throat…
It shouldn’t be hard for him to watch you fighting against your own will. But oh how much Sukuna despises the way you press that knife against your throat, a little trail of blood spilling. What are you trying to achieve?
“Are you out of your goddamn mind?”
“I want to make a contract with you”, you press out.
“I’m not dealing with a stupid human.”
You dig the blade into your screaming flesh deeper, a warm trail of blood soaking your uniform.
“Promise me you’ll leave my friends alone. Promise me you’ll set Yuji free.”
“And why would I do that?”, he remarks dryly.
“I will allow you to do everything you want with me during that time.”
Sukuna pricks up his ears, absolutely mesmerized by the way you fight against your own will to survive and stare at him so boldly.
“Give me an answer”, you demand.
The pain seems to become unbearable, knife cutting through your tender flesh so deep that your whole upper body is now discolored in crimson. One more brush. One more brush of the blade will be enough to cut your own throat. You close your tearing eyes.
Oh Yuji, how much you wish he’d be here right now. You weren’t even able to say goodbye to him, to talk everything through. It should have never come this far, they shouldn’t be able to have the upper hand. Hopefully he doesn’t see any of this, the way you take your own life.
A rough hand snatches the knife out of your grasp before pressing against your open wound.
“Everything I want, huh? Selling yourself for your friends and that brat, how pathetic”, he hisses against your outer ear.
You gasp for air like a fish on land, the pain radiating from your whole body almost swallowing you whole.
“What happened to that little ray of sunshine of yours, the smile you always wear?”
“I would kill myself if it means that the others are safe”, you reply.
He stares into your eyes, the orbs that captivating him since first catching a glimpse of them. Now it makes sense to him what that brat sees in you, why he tried so desperately to keep you out of his grip.
“Precious little thing, I know exactly what I’ll do to you.”
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deltaharrington · 10 months
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NEVER AGAIN
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PAIRING: JJ Maybank x Fem!Routledge!Reader
SUMMARY: JJ nearly gets himself killed, and you aren’t the normal sunshine everyone knows you as.
WARNINGS: A little angsty, short, fluffy ending.
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HOW DID YOU GET HERE? You weren’t even sure. The last thing you thought you’d be doing was hopping off of JJ’s bike and into Topper Thorntons truck.
“What is he doing?” Sarah asked and you shrugged, anger beginning to bubble inside of you.
He had been so different. So different since you got back home to the OBX. He was more distant than before.
You and JJ had always been close. He was drawn to you because of your nice nature. He didn’t think you had a mean bone in your body. None of the Pogues did.
John B, your brother, had lived with you your whole life and he knew you wouldn’t hurt a fly. Even in the stressful situations the Pogues put themselves through, you remained positive.
That was about to change.
You looked up and watched as a crash occurred on the overhead pass above you. Right where JJ had just been.
His bike flew off the side of the overpass and you scrambled to get out of the car, it not even being stopped yet.
“Oh my god!” You exclaimed and backed away as you watched the cops from above.
You fell to your knees and began to cry, Sarah moving up behind you to comfort you.
“I wish— I could say I did that on purpose” You heard from behind you. Your neck nearly broke with how fast you turned around.
It was JJ. He was alive.
“But…” He began “That was the gnarliest power slide I’ve ever done” He said and laughed a bit.
That’s when your anger boiled over.
“What the fuck, JJ?” You exclaimed, catching everyone off guard. They had never seen you angry before.
“You fucking asshole! You could have gotten hurt! Not to mention the fact that you’ve been practically ignoring me since we got back!” You said and rushed towards him, shoving him aggressively.
JJ stumbled a bit, his eyes wide in shock. He never knew you were feeling this way. He thought pushing you away would save himself from hurt.
“Sweetheart-“ He began, but you shook your head, tears falling from your eyes.
“Don’t you ‘sweetheart’ me, JJ” You said and moved as far away from him as possible. “I can’t believe you right now”
“M’not riding in the same car as him, Topper” You said and the kook nodded.
“I-uh, can he sit in the bed?” He asked and you nodded.
JJ didn’t say anything, he just rode in the back.
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After the disappointment of not finding the cross. The Pogues and Topper all went their separate ways. However, JJ followed you.
“Y/n, you’re gonna walk home alone?” He asked and you didn’t answer, assuming he’d follow.
“Hey- you got to talk, now let me” He said and you continued to walk.
“Dammit, Y/n! Stop!” He screamed and you froze, not expecting him to yell at you.
He caught up to you and stood directly in front so you couldn’t continue walking.
“I pushed myself away because I was scared” He admitted “Your brother- he noticed the way we had gotten close and he told me to stay away, so I listened” He explained.
“It was the worst mistake I’ve ever made” He added “I thought that pushing you away would save me the huff of losing you and my best friend”
“I love you, Y/n, and I’m sorry I scared you back there.” He finished and met your teary eyes.
“JJ…” You trailed off and rushed to him, pulling him into a hug. “I love you too- I didn’t mean to get that angry”
“Sweetheart, you had every right to be mad, I fucked up.” He said and pulled back.
“Can I kiss you?” He whispered and you nodded, ghosting your lips over his before connecting them.
Your lips moved in sync before you needed air, pulling away. “Please don’t scare me like that again” You said and he nodded his head.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
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A/N: YAY! This was short, but sweet!!
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noxxchive · 1 month
Note
mwah what up dawg can i requests dazai with a s/o whos very immature like laughs at the wrong time, whos laughs at inapporiate jokes and pranks kunikida. :33
YAHOOO hello hi hey anon!! TY for the request ehhehe MUA also dazai is so silly i wanna put him in a microwave *having a near death stroke*
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✦ Dazai with an immature S/O ✦
♫ Walking On A Dream - Empire Of The Sun
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✧ warnings : gn reader・ bad writing・slight hint at suggestive jokes・dazai being dazai (what else is new)・crack?・fluff??? (what the fuck is this help…)
✧ summary : some headcanons (my brain is fried) + you and zaza Dazai are a tad bit silly together at the agency instead of workin
w/c : 1K-ish
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Youuuu two are pretty much the cause of Kunikida's daily headaches…
…though it's not just Kunikida losing his mind at this point, with both you and Dazai matching each other's energy, the whole agency is praying for peace every day.
Dazai feels prideful when he gets to get a little laugh out of you, it's easy for you to laugh at things and he finds it adorable
Your laughs and giggles feed his ego TRUST
His favorite moments are when you both seem to read each other's mind, later going back and forth between your ideas of how to annoy Kunikida
Both end up getting scolded and lectured by him, and in a worst-case scenario, he forces the two of you to sit as far apart from each other as possible while dumping piles of paper on your desks.
Your laughs also make him burst out laughing as well no matter how unfunny or serious the situation can be
With his way of wording things and your humor combined, it’s impossible for you to not snicker when he says the most normal things
“Dazai can you over real quick—” “I’m coming!” “…….that’s what she said LMFAOOOO”
A hundred percent made you laugh so much once that your stomach AND jaw were hurting
Dazai is silly, so it’s only fair he gets an ALSO silly s/o
…Today was unexpectedly boring. No special cases, no special encounters with the infamous port mafia… no special anything. Just paperwork. The only way to entertain yourself—and slack off from dealing with the paperwork and reporting on earlier cases—was to cause a little bit of chaos. The awkward silence throughout the agency’s office was killing you anyways…
You took a quick glance at Dazai who was sitting across the room and laying his chin on his desk, half asleep and bored out of his mind. He was quick to notice you looking at him and returned your gaze with his shit eating grin. The one that meant ‘nothing but trouble™’.
Your lips parted slightly to mouth the words ‘I’m bored’ to him, but Dazai was already spinning around in his office chair and wheeling his way closer to Kunikida’s desk.
“Heeeeey Kunikida~ So, you see, me and y/n are a teensy bit bored and I was wo-”
“Get the hell back to work, Dazai.”
The blond grumbled in frustration, not even raising his head from the monitor screen in front of him. His hands typed into the computer with speed, making a continuous clicking sound. Kunikida then paused, fixed his glasses and turned his head to you.
“…You too, y/n.”
He added, speaking in a much less annoyed tone than when he talked to Dazai. He immediately went back to working. The brunette sighed, getting back to his desk with a pout. Though, you knew that he was way too bored to have mercy on Kunikida today—or literally any other day.
Yanking one of the forms put aside on his desk in a swift motion, Dazai carefully turned it into a paper plane. He continued doing so until nearly half the pile of papers was gone and paper plane-ified. You raised your head from your own work and watched in amusement.
“Oh? You knew origami and didn’t tell me? Wow, ‘samu, can’t believe you’ve been keeping such great talent a secret from me!” You giggled, clutching your chest to add onto your dramatic act while spinning your office chairs’ way closer to Dazai. He grinned, busy adding the finishing touches to his 30th paper plane, “Oh I can do much more than some silly origami stuff, trust me on that.”
A chuckle escaped from your lips, loud enough for Dazai’s ears to catch it and smile with pride. He was so focused that he had even piqued Atsushi and Kyouka’s interest—along with Ranpo stealing glances from time to time.
You had long begun to help him with whatever he was scheming, making a few paper planes of your own and dropping the 45th? 54th? Whatever number paper plane onto his desk. While both of you were busy with your paper plane making, Kunikida’s laptop slammed shut; though neither you nor Dazai heard it or the sound of him stomping his way to the two of you. Dazai snickered while you counted the paper planes he’d made, going back and forth with the numbers as you kept losing count.
“Goddammit Dazai, stop distracting me! Unless you want to count all this yourself…” You grumbled and playfully smacked him in the head with the plane you were holding. He chuckled and opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when Kunikida cleared his throat.
It made you both sink into your seats, slowly turning to face him—arms crossed and impatiently tapping his foot.
“Dazai. Y/n. May I ask what you’re doing? It’s not work as far as I’m concerned.”
Kunikida’s tone was surprisingly calm… the calm before the storm, you thought. Dazai, completely nonchalant about Kunikida’s presence, held one of the paper planes up and above his own head and grinned.
“Entertaining ourselves since boredom is ought to kill us~ Why do you ask?”
Out of curiosity, you decided to unfold one of the planes to take a look at it’s contents. Your vision blurred for a second once you realized what all that paperwork that you had turned into planes actually was… While Dazai was busy showing off the paper plane he had in hand to Kunikida, you desperately tugged on his sleeve, tapped his shoulder, shook his hand, anything to get him to stop talking.
“Dazai… have you even taken a look at what those papers were about?” Kunikida cut Dazai off, brows furrowed.
“Hmm? Oh, no not really! What’re they fo—”
“They’re all boss’ notes and reports…”
You whispered to him in a shaky voice, eyes still glued to Fukuzawa’s signature at the bottom of the crumpled piece of paper.
“Handwritten notes and reports.”
All three of you turned your head to Ranpo, who was fiddling around with a bag of chips, struggling to get it open.
“Those are all handwritten by him. He left them on Dazai’s desk not expecting anyone to touch them, knowing that he barely—almost never works… Just thought I’d let you know.”
A long pause. Ranpo then turned his chair around and aside from his faint chewing, the silence in the office had become deafening…
“…Wow, nice work, detective Dazai Osamu…” You mocked, eyebrows knitted together.
“Hey! Don’t throw me under the bus like thaaaaat, you helped too! So cruel of you, bella…”
Dazai gave you a dramatic ‘hmph!’ and awkwardly turned to Kunikida—who was practically shaking in fury—with a sheepish smile, throwing the paper plane at his head followed by a nervous laughter.
“Nowwww before you do or say anything, Kunikida-kun~ In my defens-”
“…DazaaAAAIIII—!!!”
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p.s : its been awhile since ive written and actually posted it so this is a bit wonky I KNOW im not this ass at writing please spare my life i have a wife and kids…
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wondeurwall · 2 months
Note
Idk if u've seen rafayel's new oracle story BUT IT HAS BEEN PLAGUING MY MIND
"What if i make it up to you like this yeah?"
MAKE UP SEX WITH RAFAYEL.
TELL ME DO YOU THINK THEY'LL HAVE IT OFTEN?? But ones in a more playful sort of way not really full on arguments if you get what i mean 😩💗💗
oh my god please, nonnie, rafayel's oracle story is literally the only thing on my mind. i've been so unwell
i went in with one dream and spent everything i had because my luck is abysmal. and, the worst part?? I CAN'T EVEN BE UPSET ABOUT IT 😭🫵🏻 it wasn't what i expected. it's kind of funny ASKDDJKD!! i thought it'd be myth related. instead, i was blessed with rafayel.... kisses... 🥰
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itty bitty nsfw 🔞 mdni.
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rafayel would 100% down for playful makeup sex 😵‍💫💕 honestly, he'd pull any kind of excuse just to get you undressed and fucked out in bliss. he loves how pretty you look when you cum 💕 even more when he and you can get a good laugh in between because he'd appreciate lightheartedness in intimacy. after all, he wouldn't have sex with anyone else! he needs trust to do those sweet, silly things too, and he can only ever do that with you.
because i think he'd find a lot of fun with it, he'd do it often, but the sex doesn't necessarily need to be absolutely mind-blowing once initiated. banter is fun, even better when it leads to sex, but he just loves being close like that: naked and a tangled mess of limbs with the warmth coming from your body to his.
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he's a night owl, so he's unintentionally ignoring your texts. maybe, even misses a few phone calls or immediately ends an incoming one, thinking it's an alarm he set up before. part of the day goes by and you're coming into his home to make sure he's doing alright. there's no use in pretending that you aren't upset. because you are upset! you didn't hear from him 💔 but, you find that he's just now out of bed after finishing a new piece of art.
"were you asleep this whole time?" you ask.
he rambles on about a sudden inspiration he had and that, "it'd be wrong to rest when the idea was too good."
you listen, nod, but truthfully some of his words go in and out the other ear. you frown at him. and, when he asks why you have that look on your face, you're quick to say, "i'm sure you can figure out why."
he knows. of course, he knows. he reads you well, just like you do him. then, his shoulders are a little hunched over, and he's laughing!
"i've really spoiled you," he says softly. his hands are on your hips the next second, pulling you close. "mm, why not let me make it up to you? i'm awake now, and we have the rest of the day to ourselves."
he lifts you and lays you on the couch. kisses you while he thinks about how many times he can get you gushing on his fingers and tongue before his cock.
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OR, if you're the one making it up to him 🥹
accidentally spilling paint on a good shirt of his? you're panicking as soon as it happens. your hands move faster than your mouth, and you're halfway with unbuttoning his shirt before telling him he needs to take it off.
his laughter is what stops you. it dawns on you! but, to be fair, your thoughts don't have anything else besides: the shirt must be washed before it really stains.
"someone's being bold," he chuckles as your eyes meet. "did you plan this?"
"what?" and, the fabric drops from between your fingers. rafayel doesn't miss the way your gaze falls briefly, catching the sight of his bare chest, last 2 or 3 buttons barely laying over his abdomen. "me, ruining a piece of clothing that's probably over three times my budget? i don't think that's planning. it's called being clumsy."
your face feels warm. you take a deep breath, reach out to him, "c'mon. i'll wash it. take it off before the paint makes it unsalvageable."
rafayel clasps your wrist with his hand, steps into your space, voice deepening with a tinge of playfulness, "no, i can think of a better idea. how about me and you have matching clothes?"
he embraces you, gets you wearing blotches of paint too, and you want to argue. but, you can't find the energy to when one hand is guiding your head back and the other is tugging on your neckline. rafayel's lips move to your throat first. then, trails open-mouthed kisses along the rest of your neck, jaw, the base of your shoulder, before whispering, "it's a good idea, yeah?"
since you're the one to make a mess of his shirt first, he wants you riding him as compensation. to make him feel good? yes, sure, he loves that. though, the reason for it, most of all: he wants you using his cock like you own it. wants you aching and desperate for him. cum all over him, feel good because of him. nothing gets him going more than watching you bounce on top and moan his name so sweetly 🥰
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© 2024 wondeurwall ☆ all rights reserved. please don't repost as your own, modify or translate on here or on other platforms. reblogs & likes are appreciated! ♡
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What did Andrew Lloyd Webber do to make Patti Lupone upset? Sorry, saw your tags and i was curious
Oh.
Oh honey.
You sweet child.
Anyway, get ready for one of the most infamous showdowns in all musical theatre history, with the guy who writes the straightest musicals on Broadway (derogatory) and the one and only, the matriarch, the queen, two three-time Tony award winner Patti LuPone.
So, Andrew Lloyd Webber was basically kind of a boy genius in his prime - he met his future collaborator Tim Rice when they were 17 and 20 respectively, he wrote his first big hit, Jesus Christ Superstar, at 22, with Tim Rice writing the lyrics. And it was kind of a big deal at the time because the topic was controversial (you know, the Passion with rock music), but also because Broadway wasn't that far off from its golden age and let's just say the music and style were very different from, say, My Fair Lady. Or The Sound of Music. Or Funny Girl. It was basically the Rent/Hamilton of its time. (Yeah, Stephen Sondheim was around at that time, he worked on West Side Story which was revolutionary in of itself, but he's kind of an oddball in this case. You'll understand why later.)
Their real follow up (I'm not counting Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for a variety of reasons) was a little musical called Evita, which you might know mainly because of a song called Don't Cry For Me Argentina. Or at least, your mom has probably heard it once at the very least. It's that song that's oversung from a musical while being out of context along with I Dreamed a Dream for Les Misérables. Or Memory from Cats.
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Evita tells the story of Eva Peron, the wife of an Argentinian dictator, who basically screws her way to the top and ends up becoming the mistress of Juan Peron and the most beloved woman in her country through guile and deceit. Yes, I know the historical accuracy is very much debated but I know jackshit about Argentina's history except the bare basics so don't come at me. It was first produced in the West End in London, with Elaine Paige in the role, but because of Equity issues, she couldn't reprise her role for the Broadway production. So a Julliard graduate who was mostly starring in David Mamet plays got the part instead, and that was Patti LuPone.
Patti... did not have a good time during Evita, because the part is basically the kind of score where you can tell the composer is used to writing male parts, but most female singers have a two-octave range (yes, you got Julie Andrews who used to have a three-octave range, and many others, but they're exceptions), so she struggled a lot. That being said, if you listen to live recordings of her, you wouldn't be able to tell, and it got a lot easier later on. But she had this to say:
"Evita was the worst experience of my life. I was screaming my way through a part that could only have been written by a man who hates women. And I had no support from the producers, who wanted a star performance onstage but treated me as an unknown backstage. It was like Beirut, and I fought like a banshee."
This is from Patti's autobiography, which she wrote in 2007 - 8 years after shit with ALW went down. With all that said, she won a Tony Award for Evita, and she pretty much became a musical theatre household name from then on. She played Fantine in Les Misérables, Nancy in Oliver!, Reno Sweeney in Anything Goes. Meanwhile, ALW's next big hits were Cats (I'm not even kidding, Cats was a hit), and, you guessed it, The Phantom of the Opera, which he wrote in part to showcase his then wife Sarah Brightman's triple threat talents.
So, you need to understand before I continue that ALW, from my perspective, has always had a bit of an inferiority complex. He's basically associated to writing these commercially successful musicals that show a big spectacle but aren't ultimately substantial. I'm not sure I entirely agree with that, but I do think that if he didn't have Hal Prince, Maria Bjornson, Charles Hart and Gillian Lynne backing him up for Phantom, it would have probably been a Rocky Horror Picture Show knockoff people would have forgotten about pretty quickly. This is what I mean:
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Yep, that was Phantom before any of the people I mentioned above (and Michael Crawford) were really involved.
Remember how I said Stephen Sondheim was an oddball? The thing with him is that his musicals weren't always commercially successful, but in general, in part thanks to being Leonard Bernstein's protégé, he was generally pretty well-respected and it was considered that his work was bringing musicals to a whole other level. Without Sondheim, you wouldn't have Jonathan Larson, and you wouldn't have Lin-Manuel Miranda. I am convinced ALW is resentful of that, and when you stop and think about it for more than 10 seconds, it's so obvious he REALLY wants to be Sondheim or at least command the same level of respect, but that's a story for another day.
So, after Phantom, ALW had other musicals that followed that either got a meh reception or outright flopped. Then there was Sunset Boulevard, which is based on the movie of the same name with Gloria Swanson. Despite all of her griefs for Evita, Patti LuPone agreed to partake in the musical as Norma Desmond, for its production in London, with the promise that she would transfer to Broadway once that production would open. And overall, after a string of flops, Sunset was actually doing pretty well.
HOWEVER. One day, while reading the gossip column of a newspaper, Patti found out that contrary to what she was promised, Glenn Close, who was meanwhile starring as Norma in the Los Angeles production, was to play Norma on Broadway. That was a complete surprise for her since no one on the production team had bothered to tell her it was happening - and keep in mind that for the news to come up the way it did in a gossip column, it probably would have necessitated a delay of a few weeks between the producers and the newspaper, which would have given them plenty of time to break the news to Patti. And Patti kind of needed the leg up because she was pretty bitter that a) Madonna was cast in the Evita adaptation instead of her; b) they actually lowered the key to fit Madonna's voice range, and she still had to expand her own to be able to sing the (lowered) score. And trust me, Patti is mad about it to this day.
So of course, she trashed her dressing room, the cast and crew weren't even mad about it because they were as shocked and angered as she was by the news. Patti sued Andrew Lloyd Webber for breach of contract, namely for 1 MILLION DOLLARS (yup, those are the real numbers), won, used the money she got from the lawsuit to get a swimming pool, which she called (and I SHIT YOU NOT) the Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool. Since then, Webber is dead to her, to the point rumor has it she had part of a building blocked during an event so she could get out of it without coming across Webber, because she hates him so flipping much she doesn't even want to be in the same building as the guy.
(There's also drama that happened with Faye Dunaway who was supposed to replace Glenn Close after she went from Los Angeles to Broadway, except they abruptly closed the show down after Close left, but that's a story for another day)
So with all the bad press, and with ALW forced to pay 1 million dollars for Patti's lawsuit, that led Sunset's productions to close earlier than expected. ALW has stayed around since, with... mitigated output, so to say. The lowest point for a lot of people is Love Never Dies, the sequel to Phantom, which some people love, and that's fine, but it didn't do well with either critics nor fans of the original show, which ALW is EXTREMELY BUTTHURT ABOUT. And like, there are so many stories I could tell about LND alone, but I will share my own crack theory about it, since it does relate to the ask.
Anyway, buckle up.
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So. There have been jokes going around for years that the Phantom in LND is basically ALW's self-insert, where he displays to the world that he's totally not over Sarah Brightman leaving him (in part because making Phantom kinda ruined their marriage lmao), despite, you know, having married since. (Aaaaaakward.) So LND basically becomes this really uncomfortable therapy session where a man writes a self-insert musical about how his ex-wife made a big mistake of leaving a sensitive artistic soul such as himself. The characters from Phantom who appear in LND are all more or less unrecognizable as a result, and one who gets it worse (in my humble opinion) is Meg Giry, who was basically Christine's sweet and loyal ballerina friend who basically went into the Phantom's lair on her own to save her friend despite the danger. In LND, she's basically a bitter hag (because ALW hates women, guess Patti was right about that), who really likes the swim and even has a stripping vaudeville number about it, written in universe by the Phantom, no less.
For comparison, here's Don Juan Triumphant (the Phantom's opera in the original):
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And here's Bathing Beauty (the vaudeville number):
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Yeah, so... do you see why people hate LND already?
And that's not the only thing with Meg! She's also pining for the Phantom to pay attention to her and threatens to drown the Phantom and Christine's secret love child when he makes it clear that he's gonna love Christine for EVA AND EVA.
So, with everything we learned today about ALW, would someone like him view someone like Patti LuPone as some sort of crazy, bitter diva who's obsessed with him for whatever reason? Absolutely. Would he be petty enough to insert Patti LuPone into his self-insert musical, which gave us the version of Meg Giry we got in LND? Of course. Why does Meg love to swim so much and why does she drag Gustave out ostensibly for a swim? Is it a dig at Patti's Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool? Maybe.
I kind of hope we find out one day if that theory is true. And maybe start a kickstarter so Patti can add this painting from the 2004 movie in her collection.
Fun fact: during the process of casting for the 2004 movie adaptation of POTO, ALW allegedly suggested Patti LuPone to play Carlotta... only for Joel Schumacher to have to awkwardly remind him that they were not on speaking terms. The idea was therefore promptly dropped.
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angels-sins0 · 6 months
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i beg you to continue with this fic of ghost, i want reader to gain some strength and make something 😭
Ghost x f!reader
Cw: I apologize in advance, emotionally (un)available Simon, age gap relationship (Simon is depicted in his late 30’s and the reader is around 21), older man!Ghost, young & naive!reader, slight spoilers for MWIII, brief mention of a developing alcohol addiction, hurt/no comfort, angst, screaming and crying, please don’t kill me for this.
Six months had passed since you last saw Simon. Truth be told, you’ve never felt better than you do right now.
You had moved out of your apartment three months ago after getting a promotion at your job, earning more money than you ever thought of having.
Life was good without him. You didn’t have to worry about getting your feelings hurt anymore.
Simon on the other hand, had been going through the worst months of his life.
He lost a good friend of his while on a mission which resulted in him frequenting the bar close to his house more than he’d like to admit.
Work was hard then and it was even harder knowing he couldn’t see you or hear your soft voice again.
He hated whatever it is he felt when he thought about you and the last time you were together. He despised himself for the way he treated you.
He missed your sweet laugh and the way your eyes lit up each time you saw him even if he proceeded to ruin you moments later.
What was it about you that made him feel weird inside whenever he thought of you? If only he felt that way when you were still with him.
Simon felt like he saw you everywhere around him, like you were with him no matter what he did. It was a strange feeling at first but he had learned to succumb to the comfort it brought him.
It didn’t help that you were the main star in his dreams more often than not. Whether it be dreams where he fought harder to have you back in his life or him fucking you in your bed, a guilty part of him enjoyed the latter.
He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to see you, had to look at your face one more time, hold you in his arms and never let you go again.
Simon stood in his apartment and contemplated if he actually wanted to do this.
What if you didn’t want to see him?
What if he was too late and you had found someone who treated you the way you deserved?
He had to try, right? Sure he would be hurt if you didn’t want him anymore but at least he would have some kind of closure.
And so, he made his way to your new place. He had gotten the address from Laswell but not before she made some snarky comment about him finally “getting laid”.
Simon knocked on your door and stood looking down at his feet.
Then you opened the door and he swore his heart could’ve popped out of him at that moment.
“Hey,” he breathed out, but you just stood there, rendered completely speechless by the fact that he was actually in front of you.
“H-how did you find me?” You said after a few moments of silence.
“I’ve got my ways.” He said plainly. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do.
Should you let him in?
All the while, you both just stared at each other.
“Do you want to…?” What the hell do people even say in these situations?
“Only if you want me to.”
And so, you moved to let him in, closing the door behind you and leading him to sit on the couch.
It was awkward. You didn’t even look at each other, just sat there in silence.
“Why are you here, Simon?” You asked. Why the hell would he show up now?
“I’ve been…thinking a lot about where we left things off.” He looked at you and you nodded slowly at his words.
“And?”
“And I think— I know I was an asshole to you and you didn’t deserve the way I treated you.” He sighed, and you stared at him, dumbfounded.
“It took you six months to figure that out?” You didn’t know what it was exactly that made you so angry. Was it his audacity to show up after all that time and think you’d be okay with it?
Simon went quiet again.
You stood up from the couch. “Do you have any idea what it’s been like for me the entire time you were away? How long I spent crying over something that wasn’t real? We had nothing! And i still felt like you were everything to me…even when I knew you’d never feel that way about me. Did you really think that—I would…let you in again after all this time?”
You couldn’t help the sob that escaped you, covering your face with your hands to wipe away your tears so he couldn’t see them.
He got up as well, slowly approaching you and he gently pulled you into his arms. You reluctantly relaxed into him, the tears still falling from you.
“I’m sorry for making you feel like this…I wish I was better—i want to be better…” Simon cupped your face with one hand, the other still wrapped around you and placed his forehead on yours.
With your eyes still closed, you hadn’t realized he’d lifted his mask up above his mouth. Your faces were impossibly close and he leaned in to connect your lips together in a kiss.
You felt like you were being controlled by something and it made you kiss him back, even when part of you wanted to push him away.
It went on for a couple of seconds before you eventually pulled back and stared at him.
“Is this what you’re really here for?” You said, voice laced with a hint of anger.
“No! Fuck, no! I wanted to calm y’down and it just happened.”
“I wanna be better and i wanna make you happy but most of all I want you to forgive me for how things were between us.” He was almost pleading, his eyes searching yours for any emotion.
You couldn’t help but scoff.
“All these words…and you still kissed me with your mask on, what does that tell you, Simon?”
He stayed silent. “It tells you that no matter what we have, you’ll never be able to feel like you can let your guard down around me.”
“But i-“
“And if we really decide to do this, what happens when you think i’m not enough or when you feel like you don’t want me anymore? How the hell am I supposed to be okay with that?! It took me six months to start feeling better even though what we had was nothing!”
“You are enough! For fuck’s sakes, you are all I’ve ever wanted!”
“Then show me who you are! I’m never gonna be able to love you if I don’t fucking know you, Simon!”
“You know I can’t do that…”
“Well, then you have your answer…” You looked down, not wanting to see his face anymore.
But he couldn’t look away from you, part of him knowing this was the last time he’d ever see you so he wanted to memorize everything about you.
“I think you should go.” You said, breaking the silence between you. “Please don’t try to come here again.”
You looked up at him and for the first time since you’ve known him, Simon looked hurt. You couldn’t help but feel a pang in your heart at the sight of him standing there, trying to salvage whatever this was but ultimately failing.
“Right…”
“I’m sorry for everything I did to you.” Were the last words he spoke before leaving.
On his way home, he had this weird feeling in his chest that he couldn’t explain, it made him realize why he was always so closed off and why he never tried to have something with someone.
Simon has always had this unexplainable fear of being rejected and left alone, and tonight, you invoked that fear further into him.
He had two thoughts that kept circling through his head.
He was never going to love again.
And the second one that pained him every time he would think about it.
You were gone and there was nothing he could do about it.
@ghost-is-my-bbg , @evehasdied , @darlingvinny , @dragonstoneshortcake , @dest-nai , @imhereforthespice , @graciewacey , @annoyinglysweetobject , @7thsthings , @kaa212 , @rorylover71 , @deareststhings , @dxrak , @ghostslillady , @kazuhyahs , @spookyboogyuniverse , @dangelus , @kenz-ee , @goodkittyspost , @puppybittingotherpuppy , @skulfan1 , @prttylilkittn , @emmalandry , @justgivingupsblog , @simpforfic , @ciggsaftersex , @massiveduckkidcookie , @c3r3al-k1ll3r887 , @riverbutghost , @spxctorslxxt , @marriedtoeddie , @delightfulwolflawyerfreak-blog , @sixxslut , @ghostslittlegf , @tf141glory , @ghostswife141 , @prazinos , @toastedkjeks , @naio-kummer , @sunsetsimon , @livingdead-g1rl , @chimochai , @yo1mamma , @loving-azerath , @lanadelreygirly777
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i-am-baechu · 5 months
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・Title: Bad Boy
・Paring: Playboy! Yoongi x Namjoon’s little sister! Reader
・ Summary: Yoongi has been best friends with Namjoon since he was seven. He knew his little sister was always off limits but Yoongi never followed the rules.
・ Rating: Explicit (18+) 
・ Genre: Playboy! Yoongi, bad boy! Yoongi, best friend's little sister! reader, college! au, music major! Yoongi, Biology major! reader, fluff, romance, smut, and angst
・Playlist - Dandelions - Ruth B. and Heart like yours - Willamette Stone
・Authors Note: I worked so late yesterday that I didn't have time to post this or even finalize it. I really like how this turned out and it's kinda different for me. I hope you guys like it : )
“I guess sometimes you have to lie to find the truth...” – Scott Westerfeld....
She gasped breathlessly and gripped the black sheets in pleasure, “Yoongi! Please-Oh!” He plunged a finger deep inside of her after teasing her clit with his tongue for what seemed like hours. 
“Whiney little slut.” He spat as he smacked her thigh roughly and made his way back to her clit. 
“Another one!~” Her pleading echoed through the dark room and her fingers were tangled in his long dark locks. He chuckled softly and added another finger, pulling his tongue off of her clit to replace it with his thumb. He glanced outside of his window for a quick second to see the moon shining so bright against his pale skin. He should be used to the brightness of the moon but he isn’t. 
“Come for me. Hurry up, slut.” 
She glanced down at Yoongi and couldn’t stop herself from moaning when she saw his smirk. She arched her back and he felt her clenching around his fingers. Yoongi kept pumping his fingers and leaned down to lick at her clit. Before they could continue, Yoongi’s phone started ringing. He rolled his eyes and got off the bed leaving his hook up in a daze. He picked up his phone in annoyance, “What?” 
“Dude, where are you? We have that project due at midnight.”
Yoongi cursed under his breath and glanced at the girl on his bed. She was still in a daze and glanced back down at the floor, “Alright, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” 
“You fucking better be.” 
Yoongi picked up his shirt off the floor and put it on. He picked up the girl's dress and tossed it to her causing her to snap out of her daze, “Are you leaving?”
“What does it look like?” 
The girl scoffed and shook her head, “After fucking me, you're just going to leave me?” 
“That was the plan. You can have water from the fridge and make sure you lock the door when you leave.” 
Yoongi picked up his motorcycle keys and waved at the girl who was looking at him with a shocked expression. He was down the hallway when he heard the girl yell, “Min Yoongi! You are the worst man on this planet and I hope you get what's coming to you!” 
Yoongi chuckled at that and put his boots on, “Not the first time I heard that one.” 
Yoongi left his apartment, well it wasn’t really his apartment. It was his dad’s property that he used once in a while. That was the benefit of having a rich dad who felt bad for neglecting you. He always wanted to try with him and Yoongi wasn’t going to ignore the gifts or benefits. He put his helmet on and drove to Namjoon’s apartment. 
Yoongi met Namjoon by accident during grade school. They were partnered up for a poetry project and since then the two have been together. Namjoon had always understood Yoongi, regardless of how rough around the edges he was. Namjoon understood him. Namjoon was the first person he came to when his parents were getting divorced and he was the first person he went to when he got accepted to his dream college. Best friends forever they said. 
The drive there was quick and he was welcomed with the familiar smell of lavender when he closed the door. Namjoon always liked the smell of lavender. He said it calmed him down and it had benefits. Some shit like that. Yoongi placed his helmet on the table towards the front as he took off his jacket. He cracked his neck when he felt a presence.
He turned his head and saw Y/N standing there holding a tray of sweets. Y/N was three years younger than Namjoon and four years his junior. He saw her as a piece of glass. She was so sharp but one push and boom shattered. They didn’t really talk that much because she was always busy with her friends or school. He also didn’t know what to say to her. Like at this moment. 
She gave him a small smile and glanced down at the tray, “I got some pastries for your study session. I also started the coffee machine, you should have some soon. Hopefully.”  
Yoongi nodded his head and put his hair in a small ponytail, “Thanks Y/N.” 
He glanced at her and saw that she was in a simple white loungewear set with matching slippers. Her hair was braided and out of her face giving him the perfect view of her eyes. When they were younger, her eyes were like a doe. So wide and filled with hope. Now that she was older they matured with the sparkle of hope that never truly left her. Hoping that life wouldn’t hurt her and everything would turn out right for her. She had all the tools to make that happen and Yoongi knew this. 
Y/N glanced over her shoulder and then back at him, “Namjoon is waiting. He’s grumpy today, be patient with him.”
“Is it because of his girl?” 
“Heejin-unnie? Did they get into a fight?”
Yoongi let out a small chuckle and realized that Y/N had no idea about her brother’s love life, “I guess you can say that.” 
Y/N tilted her head at him, “Should I be worried? I just want to make sure he’s alright.”
Yoongi shook his head at this and put his hands in his pants pocket, “He’s alright. He’s a big boy.” 
Y/N nodded her head and smiled at him, “Plus, he has you in his life. Come in before Namjoon gets angrier.” 
Yoongi wanted to ask her what she meant by that but she walked away from him. There were moments where Yoongi found himself wanting to talk to her but he always stopped himself. She was always there but instead of being a wallflower, he saw her as the charming painting that could brighten up any house. Only a few can understand art and he was glad he could. 
He sighed to himself and walked into the living room to see Namjoon with his papers all over the place. His laptop shines bright against his face and the multiple energy drink cans can cause any doctor to write a note. Yoongi sighed and shook his head at his friend, “Dude, are you good?”
Namjoon looked up from his laptop and glared at him, “I told you to be here an hour ago! You were just sleeping with some random chick again, right?” 
“I lost track of time.” He glanced up and saw Y/N standing by the doorway with a frown on her face. A frown on her face didn’t look right, he wanted to see her smiling with her eyes sparkling. He bit his lip and looked away from her, again what would he say to her? 
“Of course, you lost track...sorry, I’m just stressed with this project and-”
“Heejin.”
Namjoon sighed and nodded his head, “Yeah, let’s just focus on the project.” 
Yoongi nodded his head and sat on the ground next to Namjoon. He glanced into the kitchen to see Y/N pouring coffee into a mug. He watched her push some hair back and he smiled to himself when he saw her pearl earring shining away. It matched her perfectly. She brought two mugs out and placed them on the table. She smiled at Yoongi and pushed the mug towards him, “Just like how you like it.” 
“Americano?”
“Of course, well...I added something to it. It’s my favorite sweetener. I hope you like it.”
Yoongi picked up the cup and brought it up to his lips. The dark liquid went down his throat and the taste of brown sugar became the main focus. It was good, it wasn’t too sweet. It was perfect. Of course, she liked brown sugar, it made sense for her. He put the mug down and saw her looking at him in anticipation. He held back a chuckle and nodded his head, “It’s good.” 
She smiled and looked at her brother, “Make sure you drink your coffee. Don’t stay up too late.”  
“I won’t Y/N. Go get some sleep, you have that test in the morning.” 
She nodded her head and she looked at Yoongi, “Goodnight.” 
Yoongi took another sip and nodded his head at her, “Goodnight.” 
He watched her leave the living room and before she went up the stairs, she glanced at him. She waved at him but he didn’t return it. He just smiled at her and he hoped that was enough for her. He listened to her footsteps until he heard her door closed. He could easily map out her room, he's always at Namjoon’s apartment. 
He turned towards Namjoon who was typing away and he sighed, “Dude, we just needed one more part. Why are you so stressed?” 
“I wanted to add more things.”
Yoongi raised his eyebrow at this and shook his head, “Professor Lee said it was perfect, what more can you do?”
“Make it more perfect, start reading.”
Yoongi rolled his eyes at this, It’s going to be a long night.
His eyes fluttered open when the smell of cinnamon hit his nose. He let out a low groan and rubbed his eyes. He sat up and realized he fell asleep on the floor. He glanced at the couch to see Namjoon snoring with the book covering his face. He took his phone off the charger and saw it was seven in the morning. He let out another groan but his eyes landed on the kitchen. 
Y/N had her hair up in a ponytail pouring oatmeal into a bowl. He saw the soft cotton cream sweater dress that made her look so small. He slowly got up and walked towards the kitchen. He leaned against the door frame and saw her washing the dishes she used. He couldn’t help but look her up and down. This was different though. He wasn’t looking at her as a quick hook-up, he was admiring the beautiful person that he had known his whole life. 
“Good morning Yoongi. I made you a bowl of oatmeal.” 
He quickly snapped out of his stare and gave her an awkward smile, “Thanks.” He walked into the kitchen to see the bowl of oatmeal with berries and cinnamon on top. He glanced next to the bow to see a tangerine and let out a small laugh, “Is that for you?”
“No, it’s for you. I know it's your favorite.” 
“Thanks, Y/N.”
“No problem...I’m sorry I woke you up.”
He turned towards her to see her leaning against the sink with a frown. He shook his head as he started to peel the tangerine, “No, I woke up because my ass was hurting from the floor.”
She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “Did you guys finish the project?” 
“Yeah, but Namjoon wanted to do extra credit.” This is the most I’ve spoken to her in a while...
“Of course he did.”
Yoongi took a slice of the tangerine and handed it towards her, “Here.” 
She glanced at the slice and then back at him, “Thank you...I have to go to class.”
He nodded his head and placed the tangerine in her hand. He felt the softness of her palm and the faint lines. It was a feeling he wasn’t used to but he liked it. Y/N took the tangerine and placed it in her mouth. She let out a small laugh and smiled, “It’s kinda sour. Bye, Yoongi.”
She waved at Yoongi and headed towards the door with Yoongi watching her. He saw the way her hair bounced with each step she took and saw a big white scrunchie holding her hair. He continued to watch her until the wall made her disappear and he heard the door closed. He sighed and leaned against the counter staring at the ceiling, Fuck. 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“Happy birthday, Y/N.”
She smiled at Yoongi and accepted the present. It was Y/N’s birthday party and she invited all her friends over (which wasn’t a lot). Yoongi was kind of shocked that he was invited but then he remembered he was her brother’s best friend. It made sense for him to be there. Every year Namjoon tried making Y/N’s birthday bigger, it was the least he could do since it was just them. Ever since their parents passed away, Namjoon tried his best to make everything perfect for her. 
She glanced down at the present and then back at him, “Thank you. Can I have a guess?” 
“No, that’s why you open it.” 
She rolled her eyes at him and set the box on the table with the other ones, “Thank you, do you want some cake or-”
“Y/N, it’s your birthday. You don’t have to serve me anything.” 
“But I want to...especially if it's you.” 
They stared at each other until she broke it. Glancing down at the floor and he was glad she broke it. He didn’t know what he would do if she continued to look at him like that. She looked back at him and went to say something but Namjoon entered the room.
“Neh, Y/N. Your friends want to do shots.”
Y/N nodded her head but she didn’t break her gaze. Yoongi let out a small cough and glanced down at his shoes, “Namjoon, you got beer?”
“Of course I do. Y/N likes those fruity drinks.”
Y/N scoffed and turned towards her brother, “You know, you drink them too.”
“Rarely.”
She rolled her eyes and went towards the kitchen while Namjoon laughed at her. Namjoon gave a bro hug to Yoongi and gave him a smile, “Thanks for coming over.”
“No problem. It’s wild that she’s twenty-four.”
Namjoon glanced over his shoulder and smiled seeing his sister laughing loudly with her friends, “Don’t remind me. What did you get her?” 
“It’s not for you. Why would I tell you?”
“So fucking annoying. Let’s get some beer.” 
They walked into the backyard and picked some beer out of the cooler. They sat in the chairs and stared at the sky together. Namjoon took a sip and sighed, “It’s been six years since our parents passed.” 
Yoongi nodded his head and watched the stars twinkling, “They’re always here. They would be proud of you.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, studying to become a doctor and taking care of his little sister. Who wouldn’t be proud?”
Namjoon let out a small chuckle and shrugged his shoulders. He placed the beer next to him and looked at the sky, “Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decisions…but then I see Y/N smiling..and it makes the questions fade away.”
Yoongi smiled at this and glanced at Namjoon, “She loves you. You're her everything.”
“I wouldn’t say everything…”
The back door opened and they turned around to see Y/N with a wide smile. She walked towards Yoongi and leaned down, placing a kiss on his cheek, “I love it…thank you.”
“Yeah…”
She ran back in and he watched with a smile on his face. Namjoon raised his eyebrow and glanced at Yoongi, “What did you get her?”
“A mini vinyl player with her favorite songs.”
“Damn, that's a good gift. I just got her that biology book she wanted.” 
“I knew she liked music...I didn’t want to get her something that was school-related so...yeah.”  
It was later that night and everyone went home while Yoongi was crashing on the couch. He went up the stairs to go to the bathroom but before he entered he heard a soft melody. He glanced at Y/N’s door to see the door cracked open. He slowly walked towards the door and smiled at the sight before him. Y/N fell asleep with the mini vinyl playing the familiar melody. He quietly walked into her room and glanced down at her face. 
The moon was highlighting her features and her hair framed her face perfectly. Sure, she had drool on her chin but Yoongi didn’t care. It was Y/N, that's what matters. He pulled the blanket up to cover her but he felt a hand on his wrist. He slowly looked up to see Y/N giving him a sleepy smile, “Hey...”
He let out a small cough and nodded his head, “Hey...”
“I really liked your gift, it was my favorite...thank you.”
“I’m glad you liked it. Did you have a good birthday?” 
She snuggled closer to her pillow and let out a small groan, “I did...You made it better you know.”
He raised his eyebrow and looked at her, “How?” 
“Secret.”
He chuckled and carefully picked up the mini vinyl player. He placed it on her desk and turned back to see her eyes closed. He smiled to himself and pushed some hair back, “Happy birthday, Y/N.” 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Yoongi sat in the club with all his friends around him. Namjoon just recently went on a break from his girl and Jungkook just wanted to go out. It was a great excuse to go out. It’s been a week since he spoke to Y/N. Sure he’s seen her around campus but he didn’t speak to her. He wanted to, but it was awkward for him to do so. 
He smashed his cigarette in the ashtray and leaned back against the dark purple couch. He cracked his neck and watched Jungkook flirt with a senior girl and Taehyung doing shots with a group of people. This is how the night usually goes. Yoongi stood up and leaned towards Hoseok, “I’m going to the bathroom, watch Namjoon real quick.” 
“He’ll be fine-”
“He’s getting drunk. Watch him.” 
“Okay.”
Yoongi walked away with his hands in his pockets. He looked around and saw everyone getting drunk. He was sure someone was fucking on the dance floor. He went into the hallway to the bathroom but stopped when he heard a familiar voice. The need to go to the bathroom left him and pure anger took over.
“Jun, leave me alone.” 
“I want you, Y/N. If we fucked once we can fucked again.” 
Yoongi’s eyebrows furrowed and walked towards the exit to see Y/N hugging herself. Clearly looking uncomfortable. Yoongi glared and walked towards them with anger in each step. He pushed Jun and stood in front of Y/N, “She said leave. You better leave.”
Jun looked at Yoongi with wide eyes, “Yo-Yoongi!?”
“Yeah, you know my name. Now get the fuck out before I force you. Leave.”
Jun glanced at Y/N and then back at Yoongi, “Fine, this isn’t over yet, Y/N.” 
Yoongi watched him leave and he sighed. He turned around to see Y/N avoiding his eyes, “Are you alright, Y/N?” She nodded her head and rubbed her arm in a nervous manner. Yoongi sighed and brought her into a tight hug as he rubbed her back, “It’s okay. I’ll protect you.”
“I’m sorry...”
“Don’t be sorry, it's his fault. What are you doing here?”
Yoongi let her go and Y/N leaned against the wall with a frown, “Isabella broke up with her boyfriend...we decided to come here to cheer her up.” 
Yoongi nodded his head and looked around, “Do you want to go home or stay?”
“I would like to go home...I was going to call a-”
“I’m taking you home. I want to make sure you get home safely.”
Y/N looked up and gave him a small smile, “Thank you Yoongi...let me get my things real quick.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” 
“No, I’ll be fine. It’s literally right there, it won’t be long.”
“I’ll be waiting here for you.” 
He watched her walk away and he noticed the simple short black dress she was in. It showed off her figure perfectly and he couldn’t help himself from biting his lip. He quickly looked away and shook his head, disappointed in himself that he looked at Y/N like that. Especially what just happened. He wasn’t better than that guy. 
“Yoongi are you alright?”
He looked back to see Y/N with worry in her eyes, “I was just thinking...”
“Thinking is dangerous.” 
“I should know. Are you ready?”
She nodded her head and walked towards him with this soft aura around her, “Thank you for doing this.” 
“No problem.” 
The two walked in the night with stars and street lights guiding their way. The leaves underneath them remember their footwear and the wind pushing them forward. He glanced to his side to see her shivering a bit. He quickly took off his jacket and tapped her arm, “Take it.” 
She glanced at the leather jacket and then at his face, “You’ll get cold though.”
“I’ll be fine. You won’t though.” 
She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “Very confident, Yoongi.” 
“Have to be.” Especially around you.
He gently draped his jacket around her shoulders and he watched her snuggle into it, “It’s very warm. A good contrast from this cold.” 
“It’s fall. What did you expect?” 
“Touchee.” 
The two continued to walk on the sidewalk and the winds kept pushing him towards her. He stood his ground against it but that didn’t stop him from glancing at her. They stopped when he was in front of his car and he opened the door for her, “Here.”
“Yoongi, thank you again for this.” 
“Stop saying thank you, it's weird.” 
She shrugged her shoulders and entered his car but Yoongi placed his hand on top of her head to make sure she didn’t hit it. She glanced at him but he ignored it. He closed the door and let out a deep sigh with his eyes closed before he headed to his side. He started the car and the drive was filled with stolen glances. 
During the halfway point, curiosity killed the cat, “So...why was that Jun dude bothering you?” 
She glanced away from the window to give him her full attention, “I slept with him once and I said never again.”
“Was he that bad?”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head, “No, I just felt lonely and it wasn’t right to do that to someone. Even if they're horrible like Jun.”
“You're too nice.” 
“You’re not the first person that told me that. Why were you at the club?” 
He wasn’t sure if he should outed Namjoon so he just shrugged his shoulders, “It was a Saturday. Nothing else to do.” 
She nodded her head and glanced back out the window, “You go to the club often?” 
“Eh...it depends.” 
“That doesn’t sound fun...then again that’s just me.” 
It’s not fun but I do it because I’m lonely too...
He stopped the car in front of the familiar yellow paint and unlocked the doors, “There you are.”
She smiled and handed him back his jacket, “I appreciate this...don’t tell Namjoon what happened tonight?” 
“Sure.”
She got out of the car and he followed. He leaned against his door and watched her go up to the door. She glanced over her shoulder and he thought it was funny to see her confused, “Why are you still here?” 
“I want to make sure you get in.”
She stared at him for a second longer and it made him feel warm but he pushed it down. She unlocked the door and turned towards him. He waved at him and they didn't break eye contact until she closed the door. He ran his fingers through his hair and took out a cigarette. He watched the smoke go up into the dark sky to touch the stars. He wondered if the stars understood his feelings at this moment. He watched one of the stars twinkle and he shook his head looking down at the pavement. That would be a yes. The next step was just going home and that’s when the sky decided to cry. 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“Yoongi, why did you do it?” 
Yoongi didn’t say anything and continued to watch Y/N patching his hands as he sat on the nurse's bed. Y/N was annoyed with Yoongi and it was clear to him. Yoongi hated that she was annoyed with him but this was different. Yoongi hissed in pain and he watched her roll her eyes, “Y/N-”
“No, Yoongi. Why do you put yourself in harm's way all the time?” 
An hour ago 
Yoongi and Namjoon were walking to their class. It was a simple day, art and music. Yoongi’s favorite classes. Seokjin came out of nowhere and was out of breath looking at them with wide eyes. Yoongi glanced at him and then at Namjoon with a confused face, “Dude are you good?” 
“Y/N needs help.” 
Yoongi’s eyes widened at this and he dropped his bag in a rush, “Where?” 
“Lunch-”
Yoongi didn’t let him finish his sentence and he ran towards the lunch court. He felt eyes on him but they didn’t matter. He slammed open the door and ran towards the group of people in the middle of the room. He pushed people out of the way to see Jun yelling at Y/N who was frightened. He didn’t even know why Jun was yelling at her but he didn’t care. Y/N was scared. That’s all he saw. 
He pushed Jun to the floor and he started to punch Jun with all his strength. All his anger came forward and Jun was going to regret it, “I told you to stay away from her!” He kept at it until he felt a soft touch on his shoulder. He stopped and slowly turned around to see Y/N with tears going down her face. He shot up and went straight towards her, “Y/N are you okay?” 
She didn’t say anything and slowly picked his hand up to analyze them. She frowned, “You’re hurt...let me fix you up.” 
She grabbed his wrist and walked out of the lunch court with pure silence following them. The silence was killing Yoongi. He was so used to hearing her voice lately that the silence was hurting him now. He would do anything to hear her voice, mad or happy. 
“Yoongi, why did you do it?” 
Yoongi didn’t say anything and continued to watch Y/N patching his hands as he sat on the nurse's bed. Y/N was annoyed with Yoongi and it was clear to him. Yoongi hated that she was annoyed with him but this was different. Yoongi hissed in pain and he watched her roll her eyes, “Y/N-”
“No, Yoongi. Why do you put yourself in harm's way all the time?”
Yoongi shrugged his shoulders and looked away from her gaze. She shook her head at this and put the final bandage on his finger, “People care about you-”
“I don’t care about what others think.”
She looked up and stared into his eyes (it felt like he could melt from the intensity), “Fine. I care about you Yoongi. Every time I hear you got into a fight, I worry for you. You have to know I care about you.”
“Y/N-”
“Yoongi, I care about you so much...can’t you believe me? I care about you.” Yoongi had heard his father say he cared about him shit, he heard Namjoon say it to him but this right here was different. The way that she was looking at him was something he had never experienced before. She reached over to cup his face and he flinched a little at the sudden touch. He glanced at her hands and then at her face with a confused look. She licked her lips and took a deep breath. She leaned forward to take his face into her hands and she closed her eyes, gently kissing him. 
His mind went blank at her lips. He stood there unresponsive staring at her face now that she was so close. It was clear that she wasn’t giving up because she stayed kissing his lips. After a moment to comprehend, he closed his eyes and started kissing back. 
Her hands brushed along his biceps and she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer. He groaned at the feeling and of having her pressed against him. He slowly brought her down on her back with the soft white cotton giving her comfort. He rolled on top of her and he didn’t want this moment to end. Without thinking he brushed his tongue against her lips and he felt her smile. She opened her mouth to let him roam around her mouth as she brought her hands against his chest and he started to kiss his neck, “Yoongi...” 
He loved this feeling but deep down he knew this was wrong. This was Namjoon’s little sister. His everything and he was clear that she was off limits. He couldn’t love her. How could a heart like hers like him? This couldn’t happen...she deserved better. 
“Shit.” He pulled away, getting off of her. As he sat on the edge of the bed with his jaw tense. She frowned at this and sat up with a worried expression, “Yoongi? Are you okay?”
The door opened and Y/N stood up quickly to see Namjoon coming in with a cold soda in his hand. He glanced at Yoongi and frowned, “Dude, you alright? I heard you were fighting Jun...he deserved it.” 
Yoongi looked up at Namjoon and stayed silent. He didn’t know what to say to him. He was just kissing his little sister. How could he do that? He felt his hand being pried open and felt two small objects in his palm. He glanced down to see two motrin. He looked up to see Y/N giving him a small smile, “That should help. I’m going to the library, get better.”  
He watches her give him a final smile and gives Namjoon a small rub of a shoulder. He looked away and listened to the door closing. Namjoon looked down at his hands and shook his head, “Did Y/N patch you up?”
“Yeah...”
“Thank you for beating the crap out of him. No one messes with my sister and gets away from it.” 
“Yeah...” 
That night Yoongi found himself at the club alone with a whiskey in his hand. His mind kept going back to the kiss. That kiss made his heart beat so fast and his pale skin turned red. It made him feel and he knew having feelings, especially these ones are only trouble. He chugged his whiskey and ran his fingers through his hair roughly. The dim lights of the club helped his hazed out mind but he knew it wasn’t enough. 
He felt a touch on his arm and he glanced to see a girl looking at him. It was a look he was used to and he knew it would help him right now, “Hey Yoongi.”
“Hey....” 
She leaned towards him and the smell of alcohol made him want to get sick. She gave him a smile with a head tilt, “I’m Sarah. We have music class together.”
“That’s cool.” 
She placed her hand on top of his and winked at him, “Do you want to leave here?” 
“Sure.” 
She stood up from the chair and Yoongi followed her out of the club. She kept talking about something but Yoongi wasn’t really paying attention to her. His mind kept going back to how Y/N looked at him. They went inside her car and they started to kiss. The kiss couldn’t even come close to the kiss he had with Y/N. This kiss was filled with loneliness and with Y/N it was liquid fire. 
He watched her take off her top and he was thankful the light from outside was covering her. The feeling of guilt was eating at him but he had to let Y/N go. This was Namjoon’s little sister. She didn’t deserve him. Why did this hurt so much? 
He grabs a tit and a moan echoes through the empty car. He felt her fingers going through his hair and his mind kept flashing back to Y/N. He shook his head at this and lifted up her thigh making it easier for him to sneak between her legs. When his cock entered, she couldn’t help but moan out loud. He groaned when he felt her clenching and he felt how wet she was. She arched her back and he ran his hand against her stomach to her chest. He pinched her nipple and she couldn’t help but quiver. She felt her orgasm coming and the clenching made Yoongi ready to burst. The faster this is done, the faster he can drink away the guilt.
“Gonna cum, get off.”
She nodded her head and got off him. She leaned towards him to suck him off and Yoongi didn’t stop her. He grabbed a fist full of hair and started to push her down causing her to gag at his cock. He leaned his head back and let out a moan but his mind couldn’t stop him, “Y-Y/N.”
When she licked her lips she glanced at him, “Do you want to go back to my place?” 
“No...”
He tucked himself back in his pants and got out of the car without another word. He didn’t even care if she was hurt at the moment. He didn’t care about much. 
The next morning, he sat in his room as his mind nagged him. He had to talk to Y/N and he had no idea how he was going to address things. That kiss that happened was the greatest thing that happened to him but it could never be repeated. She was already changing him and he hated that. 
He walked towards the library knowing she was going to be there. He walked up to the fifth floor to see Y/N studying biology with her classmate. She was dressed in a light pink cardigan and simple dark blue skinny jeans. Her pink cardigan and his leather jacket were a clear indication of how opposite they were. It was cliche but it was true. She could never love him. He wouldn’t let her. 
“Can we talk?”
Y/N turned around and he watched a wide smile appear on her face, “Yeah, I’ll be right back, Joy.” 
The pair walked away and he glanced over his shoulder to see her looking down at the ground with shyness. They walked until they were at the end of the room and they were hidden by the bookshelves. They were silent and she glanced at his face and then towards the ground, “Are you mad at me?” 
“No...I just wanted to talk.” 
“Was it about yesterday?” 
He sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, “What happened yesterday can’t happen again.”
“What?”
“I said it can’t happen again.” 
She glared at him and she placed her hands on her hips, “What made you decide?”
Yoongi felt his jaw tense and stared at the books behind her, “This shit, it’s not going to work.”
She raised her eyebrow at this and shook her head, “You kissed back...I want you to be honest with me right now, Yoongi.”
“You think I’m lying!” 
“I know you are. You’re scared-”
“I’m not scared!” He knew that was bullshit but she couldn’t know the truth. He watched her look away from him and he was nervous that she was going to cry. One tear and it was over for him. He would do anything to keep that tear away. 
“Yoongi, I want you,” she whispered a shout in his face causing his face to flush. That’s what he always wanted to hear from her but he couldn’t do it. It just couldn’t happen. 
“I’m Namjoon’s best friend-”
“I don’t give a damn. He can get over it...can’t you just give me a chance?”
He looked back at her and saw the determination on her face. This was the most honest he has ever seen Y/N. He couldn’t help but glance down at her lips and then back at her eyes. She shook her head and then she closed the gap between them. He was taken back but her lips against his felt right. His mind was telling him to push her off but his heart couldn’t agree with him. He started to kiss back and he ignored his thoughts for a minute. 
She let out a small gasp when she felt his tongue but quickly granted access. He pulled her body closer (if that was possible). He felt her arms around his neck and he pushed her against the bookshelves. He moved down to her neck and started nipping at the soft skin. She brushed her hands through his hair and she kissed the top of his head. His hands started to travel and when he reached her ass, he couldn’t help himself to give it a squeeze. She gasped out loud and seeing this, he brought his lips back to hers. He reached underneath the back of her cardigan but quickly set her down gently when he heard voices.
“Fuck.”
She looked up at him with that same dazed expression she had yesterday, “I won’t back down.”
He looked into her eyes and realized he had matched his match with stubbornness. He looked away from her gaze, “Fine. Do what you want.” He narrowed his eyes at her while he placed his hands against the shelves, trapping her. 
She bit her lower lip and wrapped her arms around his neck while they stared at each other. She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, “I will.” 
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
“Yoongi, are you sure you should be doing this?”
“My dad wants it. He said it's urgent.” 
Namjoon sighed and leaned against his couch, “It’s raining though-”
“I won’t take my motorcycle. I have my car.”
“What’s going on?”
Yoongi turned his head and saw Y/N looking at him with a worried look. She was in her pajamas and she was leaning against the wall staring at Yoongi. He sighed and glanced down at the floor, “Nothing-”
“His dad wants him to deliver this box to him but it's pouring rain. I told him he shouldn’t go but his dad needs it.” 
She glanced at her brother and then back at Yoongi, “Are you sure it’s all right to go alone?” 
“Y/N, I’ll be fine okay? Don’t worry.”
She sighed at this and looked away from him, “Just be careful...”
Namjoon sighed and stood up from the couch, “I gotta call Heejin. She keeps texting me, Yoongi, just be careful. Text me when you get there.” 
Yoongi nodded his head and watched Namjoon walk away in disappointment. He knew Namjoon was angry at his decision but Namjoon knew he couldn’t control him. Yoongi was also the type of man that if he said he was going to do something, he was going to do it. Regardless of what it was. 
Yoongi listened for the door to close and he turned towards Y/N looking at him with softness, “I’ll be going.”
“Come back safe. It’s raining really hard.”
He nodded his head at this and the way she cared for him was making him feel safe. His instincts were telling him to act on his feelings. He walked up towards her to see her eyes looking at him with confusion but he leaned in and kissed her. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer. He wrapped his arms around her waist and let his heart do the talking. It was clear she was nervous about this trip and he hoped the kiss would make her feel better. 
When they pulled away he looked into her eyes and smiled, “It will be okay.”
“Okay...make sure you text Namjoon.”
He gave her a teasing smile, “You don’t want me to text you?”
“If you want. I don’t want to force you.” 
“I’ll text you too. Bye.”
“Bye.” 
He opened the door and turned around to give her a small wave. She returned it with a smile. He closed the door and let out a small sigh. He glanced forward and saw the rain was causing small flooding but his dad needed the package. He would help him especially since he was paying for his college. 
The drive there was slow and the rain wasn’t stopping at any time. He took a sip of his coffee as he stopped at the stop light. It wasn’t busy out which makes sense because of the weather. He was thankful for that. The light turned green and he pulled up to go. Out of nowhere, a person came on the other side and with the rain, they couldn’t stop. He saw the headlights and then darkness. 
“Namjoon, let me see him!” 
“Y/N he’s-”
“Let me see him. Now.”
Yoongi groaned at the sound and slowly sat up. Under his palms, he felt softness and he realized he was in a bed. He turned his head to see that he was in a hospital. He was confused but he didn’t care, he heard how distressed Y/N sounded, “Y-Y/N?”
The curtains were ripped open and he saw Y/N’s eyes red, “Yoongi? Oh my god, you made me so worried.” 
She walked towards his bedside table and went to pour water into a cup for him. Yoongi glanced at her and noticed that her hands were shaking. He reached over and grabbed her wrist, “I’m okay...”
He watched her stand there until tears started to fall down her cheeks. He knew had to do something. He carefully pulled her towards him on the bed as she cried into his gown. He looked up to see Namjoon talking to his dad, he had some time with her, “Don’t cry.” He started to rub her back gently.
“I can’t help it. I told you before, I care about you, Yoongi.” Y/N suddenly took his hand into hers, placing a kiss on his knuckle, “I care so much.” 
The curtains opened and Y/N slowly got up from the bed to see the doctor come in. He smiled at Yoongi and glanced at his clipboard, “You were lucky Mr. Min. Your previous shoulder injury wasn’t affected by this accident. Minor bruises and soreness. You can leave in the morning.” 
“Thank you, doctor.” 
He gave one final smile and left the room. Yoongi turned his head towards Y/N to see her already looking at him. He gave her a smile and nodded his head, “Told you I was fine.”
She let out a laugh and shook her head, “shut up.”
Namjoon and Yoongi’s dad entered looking at him with worry. Yoongi’s dad sat down on the bed and frowned, “I’m sorry Yoongi. I made my own son risk his life for a package.”
“Dad, it’s fine. I was the one that said I would do it. It’s my fault. I ignored Namjoon and Y/N.”
Namjoon sighed and shook his head, “At least your shoulder didn’t fucked up again.” 
“I know, I'm grateful. I can leave tomorrow morning.”
Y/N smiled and took a step forward, “I’ll help you around your apartment.” 
He glanced at her with a raised eyebrow, “What about school?” 
“Most of my assignments can be sent online. It’s fine.”
He looked at Namjoon who shrugged his shoulders, “Are you okay with that Yoongi?”
“Yeah, I am.” 
He watched her gather the dishes and head out of his bedroom. It’s been a couple of hours since he’s been home and Y/N didn’t want to leave his side. Yoongi’s dad drove them home with Y/N sitting in the back with Yoongi. As they drove, Y/N placed her hand on his thigh and she placed her head on his shoulder. It was very domestic and he didn’t want to fight her anymore. 
He was lying down in his bed as he waited for her to come back up. He was falling asleep due to the painkillers but he wanted to stay awake for her to come back. She quietly made her way over and sat on the bed, “You can go to sleep. I’ll be downstairs.”
“No, I want you here with me.”
She carefully leaned down, giving him a gentle kiss on his lips, “Go to sleep.”
“Stay with me.” 
They were staring into each other’s eyes with soft smiles on their faces. They both leaned in and closed the gap between them. He slowly brushed his hand through her hair as she glided her tongue over his bottom lip. She trailed her fingers against his chest as his free hand brushed along her knee. He leaned forward to press his lips a bit harder but had to pull back, “Damn.”
“Are you alright?” 
“Wrong movement.” 
She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “Go to sleep, Yoon.” 
“Stay with me.”
“Okay.” 
Three days of Y/N being by his side and everything has been perfect. Today, he asked Y/N to get some fast food because he wanted to talk to Namjoon. This was going to change the course of their friendship, it can go good or bad. He heard footsteps coming up and he took a deep breath. Namjoon opened the door and smiled at him, “How are you doing?” 
“I’m feeling better...it’s all thanks to Y/N.”
“Yeah, she’s a good nurse.” Namjoon sat on the bed carefully and noticed Yoongi was nervous. He turned his body towards him and gave him a worried look, “Are you good?” 
“Can I talk to you about something?”
Namjoon raised his eyebrow and nodded his head, “Sure.”
Yoongi took a deep breath and rubbed his neck nervously, “Y/N-”
“You like my sister, right?” 
Yoongi’s eyes widened at this and he wanted to leave the room, “W-What?”
Namjoon let out a small laugh and looked away from Yoongi, “I saw the way she looked at you...it was clear she had a crush but I don’t think it's just a crush anymore. I didn’t know you liked her until her birthday...I heard you in her bedroom that night. I saw the way you looked at her too. It wasn’t hard to figure out.”
Yoongi glanced down at his lap and sighed, “I’m sorry. I know she’s your sister and I didn’t want-”
“Yoongi, that would be lying to yourself. I wouldn’t want her with anybody else.”
“But she’s your little sister and I'm your best friend.” 
Namjoon sighed and turned back to Yoongi, “I want her to be happy and I also want you to be happy. If you two want to be together, then go for it.”
“Are you sure?” 
“Yeah, I’m sure. Don’t hurt her or I will kill you.”
“I expected that.” 
Yoongi entered the bedroom and she smiled when she saw Namjoon, “Oppa, why are you here?”
Namjoon smiled at her, “I was visiting Yoongi.” 
“He looks better, doesn’t he?”
“He does. Are you coming back home tomorrow or the next day?”
She placed the food next to Yoongi and smiled at him, “The next day, is that okay?”
“It’s fine. I do miss you though.” 
She let out a small laugh and sat on the bed next to Yoongi, “I miss you too but Yoongi needs me.” 
Namjoon smirked at this and glanced at Yoongi with a teasing smile, “Yeah he does.”
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Nighttime came by fast and Y/N was brushing her hair in Yoongi’s mirror. He watched from his bed with a smile, “You know, only Namjoon has been in my apartment.” 
She raised her eyebrow and turned around in the chair to look at him, “Really? You haven’t brought your hookups here?” 
He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “I would never bring them here.”
“I guess I’m special.” 
“You are special, especially to me.” 
Her eyes widened at this and she smiled at this, “Am I?” 
He watched her put her brush back on the table and make her way to him. She climbed onto the bed with that teasing smile he loved, “You are special to me. You're my girl.” 
He pulled her onto his lap and she raised her eyebrow, “I’m your girl?”
“If you want?” 
She leaned down and kissed him. He deepened the kiss sliding his hands to her waist to her thighs. His fingertips were enjoying her soft skin and she gasped at the touch. He wanted her. Ever since he told her that he was not in pain anymore, his mind started to wander. She moved her hands up his pajama shirt and started to unbutton it. He pulled back a little and raised his eyebrow. She didn’t say anything but she leaned forward to meet his lips again. 
After finishing his shirt, he pushed it down his shoulder letting her fingertips touch his pale skin. She moved her hands upwards and gently rubbed his shoulder. He held onto her waist and moved her shirt up to touch her skin. He moved to the hem of her top, slowly pulling the fabric upwards. Once he saw her in her bra, his heart stopped. She cupped his face and placed her lips on his. Their tongues twirling around each other. 
His hands moved towards the back of her bra, unclasping the white lace. She tossed the bra to the sound and she looked at him with readiness. His hands replaced the fabric and she moaned, as she arched her back towards him. He smiled to himself when he saw that her breasts fit perfectly into his large hands. He rubbed his thumb over her right nipple, “Oh, Yoon.”
She felt his tongue on her sensitive numb while feeling his hands were feeling her up. He held back a groan hearing her say his name like that. It made him feel hard. He switched over to her other breast, giving it the same treatment. She held him close to her chest as if he was going to disappear.  Their naked chests fully touched each other and they stared at each other. She smiled at him and he returned it. Kissing each other was the greatest discovery they both made. 
He trailed his tongue between her breasts until he reached the top of her bottoms. His hand brushed her bare sides and he watched the bumps appear on her skin. He removed the piece of clothing and was met with her white lace. It’s amazing how white lace was the perfect thing to describe her. So innocent and gentle, that’s his Y/N. 
“Yoon...” 
He took off the underwear and he leaned down kissing her neck. She suddenly bucked against his hand when she felt him cupping her, “I want to take my time with you.” 
She couldn’t respond when she felt his middle finger along her wet silt. She placed her hands on his shoulders, “Yoon, please.” 
They slowly kissed but a gasp escaped when she felt a finger getting inserted, “Yoongi, I want you now, please.” 
“Is that what you want?” 
“Yes...but we need protection.”
He nodded his head and leaned forward to his nightstand to grab a condom. He took off his pants and placed the condom on as Y/N watched. She wrapped her legs around him and nodded her head at him. He looked into her eyes before entering and she gasped at the new feeling. His thrusts were slow and she noticed how tense he was. She leaned forward kissing the tip of his nose, “Don’t hold back, I want you Yoongi.” 
He nodded his head and he started to quicken his pace. She had her eyes closed with her mouth parted due to the pleasure. Her moans echoed through the room and it created a song with the rain hitting the window. He moved his hand down and started to rub at her clit causing a loud moan to escape. He leaned down and kissed her lips as she moaned into his mouth. When their orgasms hit them both, time stopped. It was only them and the rain. She trailed her fingers down his back and kissed his shoulder. 
“What are you smiling for?” 
She smiled and cuddled into his chest, “I finally got my bad boy...”
Taglist:
@hoseokteardrop
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jgracie · 9 days
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LOVE GROWS (WHERE MY ROSEMARY GOES) — PERCY + CHILD OF DEMETER
masterlist | rules
❝ Hiya,can i request if you have time,Percy dating a Demeter kid?Thank you💕 ❞ — anon
in which percy dates a child of demeter
pairing percy jackson x demeter!reader
warnings me projecting as a child of demeter LOL, one swear word
on the radio . . . love grows (where my rosemary goes) (edison lighthouse)
an never stop requesting demeter!reader guys (i live vicariously through her) also this features another travis cameo LOL him and percy are bffs in my head ALSO the watering can thing is inspired by stardew valley i cannot wait for the day i get to upgrade to sprinklers
Percy’s never been a morning person. However, he has been forced awake at ungodly times due to nightmares
This was one of those times. He could barely remember what the dream was about, all he knew was that it was bad enough for him to wake with a start, his body drenched in sweat as he tried to recollect himself
Looking over at the clock on his bedside table, Percy could barely make out the time: 5:35AM. Well, there was no point going back to sleep now. Even if he did, he’d probably just be visited by nightmares again
So, Percy slipped the nearest t-shirt on and left his cabin, unsure of where he was heading - maybe the beach to cool off? Who knows, he was in disarray. The worst dreams were always the ones you couldn’t remember, the fear of them possibly being important haunting your day
Suddenly, Percy smelt a comforting scent waft through the air. He’d never smelt anything like that before. It couldn’t be ambrosia or nectar - while they both had good scents, they weren’t half as strong as this one. What could it be?
He decided to follow his instinct and find where the smell was coming from. Which led him to cabin 4
Despite it being right across from his own, Percy never paid cabin 4 much attention. Not until now
He continued following the scent and ended up at the back of the cabin, where there was a huge garden filled with what Percy believed to be the most appetising fruits and vegetables he’s ever seen. To the side, there was a greenhouse, where he could see the silhouette of a person
Curious, Percy made his way over to the greenhouse. He’d never spoken to a Demeter kid before, but he’d heard of your nurturing nature and kind hearts in passing
“It’s okay, Cassie, you can go back to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up, I promise,” Percy heard a voice say, stopping in his tracks. Deciding to take a peek, he found himself facing an angel
You were rocking a young girl who seemed to be six years old at most back to sleep in your arms. Wherever you went, the flowers in the greenhouse bloomed brighter, gravitating towards you and wrapping their stems around your arms, almost as if they were vying for your attention
The girl’s face was tear-streaked, but she nodded, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You smiled and ran your fingers through her hair, praying to your mother that she wouldn’t have another nightmare
You hated when the younger kids got nightmares - they could barely understand the fact that one of their parents is a God, let alone comprehend the strange demigod nightmares
Then, you noticed him. When you locked eyes, Percy felt as if the last puzzle piece of his life was finally put in place. Was it too early to say you were made for him?
“Hello! Welcome to Flowers and Vines (shoutout to Stella for naming it!), how may I help you today?” You said, your cheery tone snapping Percy out of the trance you put him in. Walking inside (he’d been simply listening next to the door), Percy sheepishly rubbed his neck, hoping you didn’t think he was some weird stalker
Percy looked around, now fully being able to see everything your greenhouse had to offer. His mom would love this place
“Oh, I’m good, thanks… I didn’t know you guys had a flower shop here! That’s really cool…” Percy said, trailing off at the end once he realised he didn’t know your name. He was a little embarrassed, but luckily, you didn’t seem to mind
Giggling, you continued for him, “Y/N, my name’s Y/N. And Flowers and Vines is more than just a flower shop, we sell produce too! Mr D’s kids help us with the grapes.” As you told him all of this, you were going around with a pretty pink watering can and watering every single plant in the whole greenhouse. Surely, there must be a more efficient way to water them all?
That morning, Percy decided he would buy a flower from you. When you’d asked which one he wanted, he simply told you to surprise him
“These are some of my favourites,” you said while wrapping your flowers of choice - to Percy, they looked like every other pink, round flower out there, but he’d learn the difference for you. These were now special
Handing him the little bouquet, you continued, “Rhododendron - ‘I shall never look upon your like again’, that’s what they mean. I don’t see them around much anymore, which is why I planted them here!”
It was almost like you knew Percy would never look upon your like again. When he’d asked you how much they were for, you insisted on giving them to him on the house. After much arguing, Percy accepted, keeping them right next to his bed. Something about them made the nightmares a little better
After that day, Percy couldn’t stop thinking about you. Everything he saw around him reminded him of you - from the flowers in the forest to the smell of mangoes in the air as their season arrived
He’d see you occasionally, too, and would shyly wave whilst hoping you didn’t notice the way his face turned a bright red when you waved back
You thought Percy was really cute, too, and were a little disappointed when he didn’t show up a second time after your original rendezvous. You began taking on so many shifts you might as well have been working at Flowers and Vines full time. Your siblings (as well as Dionysus’ kids) teased you relentlessly for this, but you didn’t care. You just wanted to see him again
And then you did
Percy’s idea was one that was suggested by none other than Travis Stoll. He was simply catching up with the son of Hermes when he’d brought up the fact that everyone working at Flowers and Vines watered the plants using watering cans (something which had been really bothering Katie)
When Percy had asked why they did that, Travis explained that they used to have sprinklers but after the Ares cabin tinkered with them once (they were bitter over a game of Capture the Flag), causing the water to go all over the place and killing a lot of the flowers, the sprinklers were unusable and currently being fixed by the Hephaestus cabin
That’s when Percy came up with it. Since he was a son of Poseidon, he could spread water from a source as far as he wanted to. Therefore, he could help with your issue and have an excuse to talk to you
Immediately, Percy ran to the flower shop/fruit market he’d grown to love so dearly
“Hi! Is Y/N here?” He asked one of your siblings, breathless. They nodded and pointed behind them, smirking as they snuck knowing glances to your other siblings
There you were, in all your glory. You seemed to sparkle under the Sun, watering the flowers with your little pink pot. When the water ran out, you sighed. You really needed to invest in a bigger one
Just as you were about to go fill it, Percy proudly announced, “you won’t have to do that anymore!”
You couldn’t believe your ears. As you turned around, you fought the urge to hug the boy. Despite only speaking with him once, you really did miss Percy
Intrigued, you followed Percy to the fountain in the middle of the greenhouse. Before, it used to just be for decoration (since you had sprinklers), but now it came very handy for refilling your watering cans
Extending his arm towards the fountain, Percy willed droplets of water to hover in the air, then, with one motion, threw them all over the greenhouse, watering your plants perfectly
“Oh my Gods, Percy, this is amazing! Thank you so much!” You exclaimed, running over to him and giving him a peck on the cheek. It was a spontaneous decision mainly done because you were getting quite tired of manually watering all your plants
After that, Percy began working at Flowers and Vines as your temporary plant-waterer. You, your siblings and Dionysus’ kids would all cheer when he’d appear, and he’d play into it, making a big show out of getting the water out of the fountain and sprinkling it over the plants, winking at you as he did so
The plants seemed to flourish even more than usual, too. You told yourself it was probably because water from a son of Poseidon was more powerful than normal water (or something along those lines), but you knew the truth
As a child of Demeter, much like your mother, your emotions influenced nature around you. When you were sad, plants would wilt and wither, mimicking the winter Demeter creates whenever Persephone is in the Underworld
The opposite was true. Whenever you were happy, plants would blossom and bloom all around - and you were really happy when Percy was around. Which is why you needed to tell him before the Hephaestus cabin fixed your sprinklers
However, fear got the best of you every time you tried to get the words out of your mouth. Despite practising several times with your siblings (and even once with the Aphrodite cabin), whenever you tried telling Percy, you’d get shy and vines would grow out of your head, tangling with your hair and acting as a shield
Unfortunately for you, Percy couldn’t tell from that that you liked him, so you simply had to get over your fears and say it
Your confession happened on Percy’s last day as your plant waterer. That morning, Katie had pulled you to the side, telling you to hurry up your confession to Percy as she and Travis couldn’t delay the Hephaestus cabin any more (they were getting quite annoyed, having worked on the sprinklers for so long. What did those Ares kids do to them?)
So, you spent the whole day bracing yourself for Percy’s arrival. All you had to do was say it, get his response and move on with your life. It wasn’t that big of a deal!
After Percy watered the plants, everyone watched in silence, waiting for you to say something
“Hey… Percy, can we talk?” You asked, ignoring the hushed cheers of your siblings as you approached the boy. He nodded, smiling at you and letting you lead him to the back, where you kept all the extra supplies
Sitting on a stool, Percy looked up at you, just noticing your nervousness, “is everything okay?” He asked, concern laced in his voice
You nodded, taking a deep breath. You practically had this memorised. You just had to get the words out. You couldn’t get the words out
The vines grew from your head again and you wanted nothing more than to cocoon yourself in them. You’d faced terrifying monsters with a calm smile and eliminated them like you were pulling weeds out of your gardens, but you couldn’t tell a boy you liked him?
At this point, the vines were wrapping around the stool Percy was sat on, and he stood up, confused
Slowly, he made his way over to you and brushed the vines away from your face. As he looked into your wide eyes, he finally understood. Cupping your face with his hands, Percy placed a tender kiss on your lips
“I like you too, Y/N. Like, a lot”
Ok dating hcs 🥳
First of all I just wanna say PICNIC DATES!!! Sometimes you have them on the beach and it’s like you combined both your worlds <3
As a child of Demeter I can confidently say we know how to cook. Percy’s so in love with your cooking. He never thought any cooking could rival his mother’s until you came along
Somehow, you knew how to make meals that make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. If you asked him to taste ambrosia and one of your meals blindfolded and then choose one, he’d choose yours in a heartbeat
He’s also so obsessed with the fresh produce you bring from Flowers and Vines. I said this in my Percy x Persephone!Reader headcanons but I don’t think Percy’s much of a fruits/vegetables guy so the fact that you have him hooked on them says a lot
Swears he’s addicted. You think he’s just saying that to flatter you but he means it. If someone asked him if he had an addiction he’d look them dead in the eye and go, “yes, my partner’s bell peppers.”
He’s actually right though! Demeter + Dionysus kid powers make the produce taste a little fresher and last for way longer
Percy also decides to learn the language of flowers. He borrows a book about it from the Athena cabin and makes little notes and everything
Once, you came to his cabin and found the book full of scrawled annotations and sticky notes in it and you had to fight the urge to bawl your eyes out because he’s just so adorable
Will literally buy you flowers from your own flower shop though LMAO he doesn’t even try to do the transaction with anyone else. He’ll buy them and you’ll give them to him and he’ll be like “oh thanks I’m gonna go give this to the light of my life now” and he just hands them back to you
Percy’s also def the type of guy to keep one with him so he can get you new ones as soon as they start to wilt. Except his timing is always off because flowers tend to last a little longer when they’re around you
Lowkey still works at Flowers and Vines except he just follows you around and has no salary (he says his salary are kisses from you but knows he’d get them regardless LOL)
Brings Sally and Paul to Flowers and Vines and they’re immediately hooked because flowers in the mortal world aren’t half as beautiful as these hello??
Also, as a child of Demeter, you are naturally very motherly and caring. He loves seeing you interact with Estelle so much!!!
His half-sister warmed up to you extremely quickly and now refuses to be babysat by anyone who isn’t you. Like it can’t even be Percy alone you have to be there!!
Percy ALSO loves it when you dote on him. This leads to him being a little dramatic at times
Looking up, you saw a pouty Percy make his way over to you, his brows furrowed as he looked down at his finger
“Y/N! You won’t believe what happened!” He said. The first couple times he pulled this stunt, he’d scared you shitless, but you now knew all about your boyfriend’s antics and simply gave him a knowing smile
Feigning worry, you asked, “oh no, what is it?” Percy revealed his finger to you, which had a barely noticeable cut at the tip of it
“I was talking to Clarisse when all of a sudden she swung at me!” He told you, looking over to the side. In reality, he’d asked Clarisse to cut him, knowing only a child of Ares could have such precision with a weapon
Sporting a pout of your own, you took Percy’s finger and peppered it with kisses, “I’ll speak to Clarisse, don’t worry.” You said
“Uhh.. Y/N.. she also punched me in the lips… My lips really hurt.”
Let’s just say you didn’t get much work done that day (SAFE FOR WORK!)
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mafiadad5 · 2 months
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Try, try not to think about us in that way.
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part 1// Genre- smut/ kinda plot?
Warnings/ au- best friends to lovers, 18+, unprotected (wrap it up), degrading, hint of mutual masturbation (bad at balancing attention tho so mostly y/n…), auralism, blindfold/ touch deprivation, y/n’s a little desperate…, may have forgotten things
Bestfriend!Chenle × fem!reader
Word Count- 3.5k+
a/n- I’m afraid part 1 is better plz go read, no proof read lolz… anyways hope u like xoxo🩷 tags- @sunnybutcloudy @marvelahsobx
Summary- You and Chenle has been friends for years now, since freshman year of Highschool, you finally graduate and go on a summer trip that you guys have been fantasizing to go on since sophomore year. You've always had a crush on him, but stopped trying after he rejected you freshman year. Not wanting to ruin the friendship, you ignore your feelings. That's until you're standing on the hotel balcony, listening to the waves crash on the shore as the sky lit up due to the sparkling stars, a cool breeze sending goosebumps to your skin, well that and also Chenle grabbing your waist, pulling you closer to him. "Your lips look so tasty when the stars reflect off of them." He looked at you. “Then what are you waiting for Chenle, kiss me then.” 
Plz continue on…🎀
"Y/n, wake up." You heard your mom's voice from your door.
It's been the first time you could sleep in since you started college in August, in your comfy childhood bed at that, but of course, you couldn't enjoy it. It seems like you could never get a good rest actually, your dreams are always filled with fantasies about Chenle. It seems like ever since the beach trip you two took together, your dreams has gotten even worst—graphic, and you couldn't stand it. It's been months since you and him talked— well, since he talked to you.
After the trip he pretty much started to avoid you. Finding excuses to miss hang outs the rest of summer, responding dryly to your text, not calling, or even bother answering your calls, just acting strange— and you knew why. There was nothing you could do at this point, he wouldn't let you. Besides, you started college in a different state, so I guess it was best to cut ties or whatever it was in the first place. You just wished it never happened if this is how it would end. You made it out of your room, meeting your mom downstairs.
"You forgot your bag in your car again," She smiled. "and guess who I ran into this morning at the store?" She looked up at you from the kitchen as you sat at the table.
"Who?
"Chenle! He's doing well too, got his own place and everything." You forcefully smiled, taking a sip from your glass of water. "He asked about you too, what ever happened between you? Went on the trip and it seems like everything fell apart." "We just got into it on the trip and decided that we didn't work as friends." You didn't want it to, but your mind instantly geared to that night— the taste of him on your lips, the feeling of him in you, you could never forget it.
"Plus, if he's so worried about me he can just text my phone-" You stopped in your tracks from your phone buzzing on the table, your heart stopping for a moment as you glanced down at the phone, his name popping up on your notification center. 
You swear that you could hear his voice as you read the message: "Hey. Kinda weird but I heard you were back in town. I understand if you say no, but do you think you can come over my place later for dinner, so we can... you know... talk." You thought maybe you were just seeing something, shit maybe you were even dreaming again. It's been months, why now? You sat there staring at your phone for a second, the room silent, your mind forming millions of thoughts. You sat for so long your phone went dark again, but it instantly lit up again, another message stacked above the one he sent, a mere: "please."
You looked up at your mom, a smirk painting your face disguising the butterflies and shocked pit forming at the bottom of your stomach. "Speaking of the devil. He just asked me to come over to dinner to talk." Your mom smiled in response, glazing at you as she wiped the counter. "You should, so you can reconcile. Plus, I miss my babies hanging out together.”
"I'll think about it." You said sarcastically, rolling your eyes as your mom grinned.
You knew you had no thinking to do— you sat in the mirror, making sure you looked perfect, even better than the last time he's seen you. You knew that you were gonna go no matter what, and there you were, driving down the road that led to his house.
You stood at his front door, nervous to ring the doorbell, nervous of what you would even say when he opened the door, nervous of if he would even open the door. The way you felt about seeing him, you would've thought he was never your best friend. You finally gathered the courage to just ring it and you stood there for a minute, thinking he was just ignoring it, but then the door opened.
You wanted to be the one who looked better than the last time you spoke, but it looks like he beat you to that. His dark eyes held so much expression, and his plumped pink lips that met your gaze drove you insane— it hadn't even been 30 seconds and you already want another taste.
"Y/n?" He spoke exasperated. 
"Chenle." You said in response, an awkward smile appearing on your face.
"Come inside, it's cold and rainy." His eyes were wide as he grabbed your hand, pulling you inside. "I didn't think you would come, you ignored my message. How'd you even find my address?" He stood in front of you, a black t-shirt hugging those familiar abs, black loose pants hanging on his legs.
"Even though you stopped talking to me, you never stopped sharing your location." You flashed him a sarcastic smile, his expression instantly shifting to regret as he stepped closer to you.
"I'm so so sorry Y/n,  I was just afraid that things would change."
"You decided to start it, you did it, so if anything changed it's because of you. I didn't deserve that." He stepped even closer, a little too close for comfort, grabbing your hands. "I know, and I'm actually so sorry. I'm such a dick for ignoring you after we did that. Please, please forgive me." His eyes twinkled and his voice was weirdly desperate as he held your hands tighter.
"Chenle, we've been friends for years, I could never not forgive you. He didn't even wait for you to finish the sentence, pulling you into a hug by your hands, grabbing your waist. "I'm so sorry Y/n, I love you." He broke the hug, looking at you with sparkling eyes. "I love you too Chenle." You smiled.
"Well, I didn't make dinner because I didn't think you would come over, but I can order take out and we can watch a movie?" He said, walking you to the living room, grabbing his phone as you nodded in response.
1 hour later the food finally got there, another hour passed as you two sat eating, talking each others heads off like nothing ever happened. You glanced at your phone, 10:07 pm. You didn't even notice the time passing by, and was ready to break the news that you had to go, but he spoke before you could even get the words put together. "It's pretty late, and it's raining super hard now, you should just stay the night." You looked up him, a smile sitting on his face as you looked down at your phone, thinking about how your luggage is literally in your car so you had everything you needed.
You haven't stayed the night with him since the beach trip and you saw how that turned out so you were hesitant about going, but he was you best friend and you trusted him— plus, you both learned your lesson so what's the worst that could happen? "Yea ok, but I need to get my bag out the car."
"You brought a bag?" He smiled, looking at you with questioning eyes.
"Yes I brought a bag, I just got back from school yesterday."  You said in a mocking voice, getting up from the table and grabbing yours keys. "Oh yeah I forgot you just got back home. I'll go get your bag." 
You two sat in his bed, watching a movie, his hand resting on your knee. You already changed into more comfortable clothes. Everything had gone back to normal and that's what's eating you up inside. You can't stop thinking about that night— his scent, the way his finger twirled on your knee, it was all making it so hard to forget.
"So how did you get this house so fast?" You asked, trying to distract yourself as his fingers trailed up your skin, going higher to your thigh.
"Well, I have roommates, but they're not here." He said. His voice sounded more sensual, and his hand trailed up even higher, pushing the fabric to your shorts off your skin as he rubbed your upper thigh. You turned to look at him, his dark eyes already on you. You remembered this exact look and what it meant, and god did it drive you crazy for him to give you that look again, but you couldn't.
"Chenle, you saw what happened last time we did this. Let's just keep this strictly friends and that's all."
"I understand." He smiled in response, taking his hand off your thigh and nodding. The atmosphere was a little awkward, but died down as the movie ended. You look beside you and he was out like a light so you decided to just turn off the tv and slip on your eye mask. Typically you don't sleep with it on, but he has this obnoxious lamp in his room that makes you unable to sleep. You tucked yourself in under his cover and fell asleep soon after.
Chenle always had a habit of waking up in the middle of the night during his sleep, typically he just scrolled on his phone till he could sleep again, and it was no different this time around, even if you were laying beside him.
He couldn’t help to keep glancing down at your body though, the covers hugging your curves, your chest moving up and down as you breathed softly. Your hand rested on his torso unknowingly, but he tried to not think about it, gearing his attention back to his phone.
“chen- chenle.” you moaned out quietly.
“…Y/n?” He glanced at you, whispering quietly, but you didn’t say anything so he thought he was just hearing things— well, he wanted to think he was just hearing things. He couldn’t help but to get a little riled up though, even just hearing your voice drove him a little insane, so you know how much a moan could have an effect on him.
“chenle…please don’t stop.” You moaned out again, a little louder than the first time. He couldn’t help turning off his phone and looking at you. He couldn’t see if you were awake due to your eye mask, but he thought you were maybe trying to play a joke on him, maybe even trying to tease on purpose, but your body said differently.
Your mouth was slightly parted as you gripped the cover with one of your hands, your thighs were rubbing against themselves trying to find a hint of pleasure. He couldn’t control himself, not seeing you like this in front of him, hearing you moan his name again, all needy just for him. He needed you, and he had to face that— and obviously you weren’t thinking any differently, even if your mind told you that you were.
“Y/n.” He shook your body.
You lifted up your head, pulling the eye mask off your face to be met with Chenle’s eyes on yours, and there it was, that look. “You were sleep talking.” His eyes never left yours as he spoke, his voice was raspy and deeper than usual. You started to panic, hoping you didn’t say anything about him, you just tried to pretend nothing happened, but it was clear he heard something.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” You smiled, slipping your mask back on— honestly, you just wanted to avoid this as much as possible, but he didn’t let you. Before you could turn around fully he grabbed your face, cupping it with one of his hands making you face towards him. You tried to take off your eye mask again, but he grabbed your hand, pinning it to the bed. You couldn’t see anything, but you felt his lips softly trailing over your skin.
“What were you dreaming about?” 
you
“I- I don’t remember.” You felt his breath on your neck, trailing further down to your collar bone, making you shiver.
You tried to sound calm and genuine as possible, but his lips brushed against your neck ever so slightly as he moved back up to your face and it almost made you fall apart. His hand that was once cupping your face found its way around your throat. “Stop lying.” He squeezed lightly, causing a light, breathy moan to escape your lips accidentally. “I’m not lying.” The hand that was holding down your wrist was now roaming around your body, slipping under your pajamas pants into your underwear, sliding a finger in between your folds.
“So wet, just for me.” You could feel him smile into your cheek, before he kissed it. “Chenle.” You moaned out, melting into his embrace. “But wait,” he removed his hands and lips from your body, a smirk panting his face as he watched your lip tremble with desire.
“Strictly friends and that’s all, right?” He said in a teasing tone, obviously trying to get in your head, but you did say that so there was nothing you could do, well nothing he could do.
You laid on your back, feeling so desperate that you were willing to do anything to release— plus, you two already have done things so who cares anymore. Your hand slipped lower and lower, sliding into your underwear. You toyed with your clit causing you to let out a small moan as you felt a relief from wanting to feel any kind of pleasure.
“Are you touching yourself?” His voice rung in your ears, making you even more needy. You just ignored him as you started to circle your sensitive bud with your finger.
“You’re that desperate huh? That much of a desperate slut?”
Even though it was only once, it turned you on so much when he talked to you like that, and now was no different, and you didn’t try to hide that. You slipped a finger in your aching hole that was begging for attention, letting out a loud cry as you went in and out slowly.
He couldn’t help but to be turned on by you too, slipping his pants down exposing his hard on.
“I bet you wished it was my fingers don’t you.” He sighed out, pumping his length slowly as he looked at what unfolded in front of him. “Mhm.” You moaned out, his words only making you go faster.
“God you look so pretty, all desperate for me.” You couldn’t see what he was doing, but your moans weren’t the only ones filling the room, so you assumed that he was getting off to you as well.
“Take off your pants, I want to see you finger yourself, fuck.” You took no time, removing your pants with your free hand, throwing them to the side. You could feel him move closer to you, gripping the sheets beside you as he slid your underwear down to your knees.
“Can you go faster for me?” He let out a breathless moan as you started to go faster, your arousal coating your fingers making him go even more crazy. “Want to be inside you again so bad— all I can think about.” His voice was becoming needier and needier by the second as he slowly reached his high, pumping faster as your moans seeped into your brain, filling it with dirty thoughts.
“Fuck I can’t take it.” You threw your head back, biting your bottom lip as you almost reached your high. “You look so pretty when you finish, keep going for me, wanna see you cum so bad.” He said in a tired moan. You let out a loud whimper, legs shaking as you fingered yourself faster to his words. No matter how overwhelming it felt, you just couldn’t stop, you needed more.
“Chenle.” You said, your chest heaving up and down from the intense pleasure that washed over your body.
“Yes Y/n.”
“Please, just fuck me.” He drove you insane, no matter what you did, how much you tried to fight it, you couldn’t and he couldn’t either. “I want to, I really do, but you said strictly friends— I don’t want you to regret this.” He turned to look at you.
“Chenle… we’ll never be strictly friends, fuck me.” He took no time getting on top of you. You tried to remove the mask off your eyes once again, but failed when he pinned your hands down beside your head.
He planted kisses on your cheek again, leaving your lips bare as you hungrily wanted to taste him. He slowly kissed down your jawline to your neck, teasing you as your legs brushed against his. He flipped your hands over, interlocking his fingers with yours as he kissed up your face again, going to your ear.
“Gonna make you feel so good, you want it, yeah?” He whispered softly causing you to almost turn him over and just ride him yourself.
“Yes. Please, I want it bad.” He smiled on your skin, releasing one of your hands to adjust his tip at your hole, pushing himself into you. “Fuck.” You whined out, your skin flushing with pleasure. “You take me so well.” He moaned out as he slowly thrusted in and out of you. The thrust were so much more passionate than the last time, so much more loving, it made you see stars.
“Does it feel good baby?” You felt his breath on your cheek, his fingers intertwined with yours, pushing your hands deeper into the pillows. “So good.” You moaned out as the thrust got faster and filled with more anticipation. You couldn’t even see him, and he was still making every inch of your body feel good.
“Fuck, you’re such a dirty girl— having dreams about me. Is this what you dream about huh? Me using you like this?” It was something about the way he spoke to you like this that made you yearn for more, that made you go numb. “Mhm.” You moaned out, causing him to go at a speed that you thought was impossible, hitting your g-spot at a perfect angle, his hands now wrapped around your wrist pinning them down.
“You’re such a slut for me.” He smiled into your skin, giving your cheek another messy kiss. “Only for you.” You clenched around him, almost reaching you high, making him whimper out in desperation as his thrust started to get sloppier. “I’m almost there Chenle.” You cried out, throwing your head back as your moans grew louder. “Fuck, take this off, I want to look at you when you cum.” He snatched the eye mask off your face, looking at your glossy eyes with a smirk on his face, soon turning into a gasp.
Your eyes rolled back as your legs started to shake under his. Your lip quivered from overwhelming pleasure as he hit more thrust after you reached your high. “Fuck.” He whimpered out, hitting a few more quick thrust, emptying himself inside of you, burrowing his head in your neck as he came. He stayed inside of you for a second as you two caught your breaths.
“I want you so bad Y/n. I want to be yours.” He looked at you, everything still and quiet for a moment.
You’ve wanted to hear those words since freshman year, you didn’t even know what to say and he could tell. He leaned down, kissing your lips passionately, like he wanted to do all night, smiling before laying beside you.
“We can talk about this tomorrow, ok?” 
You thought it was honestly a dream, it had to be, but there you sat, in front of your crush of 5 years, finally dating, at the very beach where it all started.
It took 2 rejections, 2 hookups, and one break, but here you are, with him.
You look up at him, he's already looking at you and grabs your hand. "You look beautiful, has anybody told you that?" His face now in a smile. "Thank you." You said as you turned towards him, the deep blue ocean in front of you, suffocating on your breath as you feel his fingers leave your hand and slowly drag up your arm. "You're welcome", he says as he grabs your waist pulling you towards him. "What are you doing Chenle?" You laugh as he pulls you closer to his body. “Just kiss me.” He smiles, but this time— it’s not a dream. 
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queers-gambit · 2 months
Text
Midsummer Night(mare)'s Dream
prompt: ( requested ) when Oliver's obsession reaches new heights, you fear Felix might return the affection - resulting in bloody flower petals suffocating you.
pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader
fandom masterlist: Saltburn
word count: 12.9k+
note: favorite trope here to stay
⚠️ you are responsible for the media you consume ⚠️
warnings: Hanahaki Disease AU: depiction of physical illness, medical phenomenon, blood, self-destruction; alcohol consumption, brief illicit material use and brief depiction of physical aggression, Lord's name in vain, cursing, angst, hurt and comfort, spoilers, AU timeline (obviously), "friends to 'strangers' to lovers", fix it Felix, "best friends" trope too, dead parents / family angst. requires maturity and caution.
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When the first semester at Oxford started, something in your gut twisted with an unknown anxiety. Something in the air churned, a tide was turning, and there was something deeply amiss that you just couldn't put your finger on.
Your roommate was kind, your grades average with those that took education seriously, and your professors were decently challenging but in a good way. You didn't know what was wrong, why you suddenly felt anxious, but then, after asking your best mate why he was late to class the day of his first tutorial, Felix answered, "Had a flat tire."
You nodded, handing him the joint as you sucked in a sharp breath to hold the smoke in your lungs, "So you booked it?"
"No, actually," he chuckled. "Nice bloke named Ollie stopped t'help, offered me his bike."
You laughed, smoke billowing out, "Yeah? Tellin' me he just stopped and gave you his bike? Come off it - nobody's that nice. You flirt with him or something, Fi?"
"No, no, I'm serious! That's literally what happened!" He nestled his arm around your waist, "No, seriously, listen, right, I was on my way t'class, on time and all, yeah? Got a flat tire on my way. This lad, Ollie - Oliver - comes down the path, stops, asks what's goin' on, said he was in my college, so, he offered his bike 'cause he'd get it later, said he'd wheel mine back and all."
"Fuck off!" You shoved your elbow into his ribs.
"You only think people are out to do the worst, darling," Felix chuckled, flashing you a blinding smile. Neither of you could anticipate the series of events that this interaction would kick off. "Besides, he saved my fuckin' arse, I got t'class with enough time, didn't I?"
"Hmm," you agreed, a knot forming in your stomach as he handed you the joint back; both stretched out in your dorm bed as the thunder storm raged just shortly after you got back from class.
Perhaps you were too much of a cynic. Perhaps you grew up in a rougher part of the city with considerably less money, being skeptical of gestures of kindness. Perhaps you only knew people to be disingenuous.
Maybe you were just used to hearing these incredible stories from Felix Catton - certified spoilt best friend.
You grew up together; meeting as young children because your parents worked for one of the Catton's companies, your fathers having been childhood best friends, joining you two at the hip. You and Felix were two halves of one whole, a single functioning organism; becoming inseparable. You were meant to be soulmates, you were so sure of it, but in reality, it felt reassuring to have such a strong friendship that you never entertained the idea of romance.
Felix's friendship was genuine. It was built-on everyday, growing, evolving, forever changing to accommodate both your changing personalities. He accepted you for who you are, and it felt like he chose you everyday. Where others came and went, you remained. Where others abandoned you, there he was. There was no you without Felix and no Felix without you, and when the time came, you chose to attend Oxford together.
You knew how easy life was for him. You knew the silver spoon he was fed from. You knew he was the flame moths were drawn to.
Knowing Felix Catton was power-by-association, and you watched an endless slew of people come and go with the snuffed-out dream of being in his inner circle. You protected Felix (and the Cattons) from leeches and Felix protected you from, well, everything else. You were meant to be soulmates, you were so sure of it, and then everything changed the summer before senior year of secondary school when you moved in with him permanently.
Summer had just started, you were only two months away from turning 18, and then, a drunk driver drove your mother and father into a tree on the side of a road. There was nothing to be done when your parents were finally found, the EMTs assuring you they were dead on impact and did not suffer. You had been at home with Felix, who let you paint his toenails, the house phone ringing shrilly.
"Hello?" He answered for you, reporting your family's surname's residence. He hummed, then paused, looking at you. "It's St. Luke's Hospital, love?" Felix handed you the phone with curiosity.
When you reached for the landline, the nurse reported you were needed and asked if you had the means to get to them. You begged to know what happened, but all she said was, "There was an accident."
Felix drove you to the hospital.
Felix held your hand when you were lead to a private room, meeting a set of police officers.
Felix held you when you stumbled in shock upon being shown your parent's demise and Felix held your hair when you threw up after identifying bodies.
And the Cattons stood with you when the man responsible was sentenced to life in prison. They stood in the rain when you tossed two stones in the stream.
You lived with him from that moment on and sometime after, you accepted how in-love with him you were. He had always taken care of you, but that summer, he took care of you; being the glue that kept you together, the binding force that brought you into being, the reason you didn't waste away, give up, or lose yourself entirely.
When your final year before university began, you had to stomach the idea of loving him at a distance. He'd always been popular, charismatic, the sun at the center of everyone's galaxy that pulled all towards his warmth and light. But after losing his virginity at age 15, Felix was constantly running through partners and you didn't want to interrupt his "sexual awakening" despite the knife to the gut each girl stabbed. So, you kept your feelings to yourself and tried your hardest to be a staple in his life, and when you chose to attend Oxford, you made peace with the idea that you'd go another 4 years in silent denial.
Something about Oliver's little act of kindness just made you uneasy.
And then, the following night, Felix spotted his new little friend when you were out at the local pub and invited Ollie to sit at the table with you lot. You sat between Felix and Farleigh, India on your friend's other side - his cousin something akin to your own flesh and blood. After all, you had known them all for two nearly decades; marking you as one of the very, very few who could put Farleigh in his place. Eerily, you both shared a look of mild distain, but for very different reasons.
You didn't think yourself a jealous woman, but after meeting Oliver Quick in person, hearing him speak, watching him watch Felix, and witnessing how he interacted with everyone else, you grew uneasy in his presence. The night you met him officially, there was a funny tickle in your chest, and after a few too many coughs escaped, Felix whipped around at you instantly. "You gettin' sick, darlin'?" He asked, words drenched in genuine concern.
Oliver thought it was curious to use a pet name for a pretty girl while a different one was sat on his lap.
"I'm good," you assured, thinking the rain caused this reaction.
But as the night wore on, you coughed more and more. When Oliver got up to get the next round of shots, Felix, ever the sweetheart who had money at his disposal, scolded Farleigh for instigating the poor boy and stood with a note in his hand. Only you saw the real interaction of Felix subtly paying for the drinks, and when he returned, he set a glass of water in front of you.
He made sure you didn't drink the rest of the night, but you didn't want to - starting to feel unwell. "Fi, I'm gonna go - "
"Oh, no, love, c'mon, an hour longer," he pleaded as you stood. But he paused, examined your face, then standing without another word and tossed his arm around you, announcing to the table, "Right, we're off."
He ignored the jeers and complaints because he was swiftly escorting you away, and only when Farleigh clocked this did he scold the table to shut the fuck up. When you stepped outside, Felix was turning to you instantly, holding your cheeks in hand and using his thumb to wipe at the corner of your mouth.
"You're bleedin', love," he muttered, showing you his hand. You frowned and wiped the area yourself, seeing the crimson stain on the pads of your fingers. "Fuck. All right. C'mon, we can get you to the infirmary - "
"No, I don't think it's - "
"You've been coughin' all night and now you're bleedin'," he snapped, shushing you, "we're goin'!" When you just stared at him for a moment, he sighed, "I-I'm sorry, that was a bit more aggressive than needed. I'm just worried, love, you shouldn't be coughing blood."
"Might've just been smoking too much, yeah?"
Felix spoke your name with a hardened edge, staring at you for a long moment as neither of you wanted to back down. Finally, he cracked, "You're not gonna go, are you?"
"Nope. C'mon, I'm tired."
"Well, I'm stayin' the night incase you throw up," he declared, giving in and leading you towards your dorm.
"No, go back - "
"Not leavin' yah, love," he refused. "So, c'mon, tell me," he changed the subject, "what'd you think of Ollie?"
You sighed, "Nice enough lad, I guess."
"Told you," he grinned, weighing your heart to your feet.
For nearly every instance there after, you dreaded hearing Ollie's name or seeing him pop up at events. But that first night, as Felix dozed off in your bed, you were set on your knees, dry heaving in vain to free your throat from whatever suffocated you internally. When you managed to trigger your gag reflex, a stream of alcohol came spewing out - dotted with long, pretty, bright yellow petals.
You stared into the toilet, blinking in shock.
You always thought Felix was the human equivalent to a golden retriever with the disposition of a sunflower. In fact, there grew a small patch of sunflowers at Saltburn just for you; you and Felix planting them one summer together, kept alive after your parents died to bring you a little sunshine when you felt overwhelmed with storm clouds. After all, they were your favorite flower... Now being hacked out of your lungs in a ghastly, tacky mixture of blood, clots, and mucus.
As the year went, you didn't have another episode, but still did any and all research you could on your current phenomenon, wanting to avoid the hospital if you could.
The year flew by without much of a hitch, outside of Felix snapping on Ollie and distancing the lad from the group. However, just before exams, Felix came to you in need of help; saying Ollie's dad died, and being as he had both parents, he wasn't sure how to comfort the lad. It struck a nerve deep within you, going with Felix to talk to Ollie, and by the end, your arm had slung around the scholarship boy in pity, trying to talk him through part of his grief.
You didn't know the lad did his research on you and discovered you lived with Felix in his grand fucking castle because you were orphaned just before turning 18. It was the perfect "in", in Ollie's mind; a way to weasel close to you, solidifying himself to Felix.
You didn't like Ollie, he still made you feel uneasy, but you did pity him enough that you tolerated him. Now more than ever. He was back in the group before the day was done.
However, when exams concluded, Ollie was acutely aware that Felix attended the celebration to your exams - dressing you, pinning you for your accomplishments. You dressed and pinned Felix after his. And you both showed up for Ollie's exams, though, you dressed and pinned Farleigh as Felix did Ollie. He supposed it counted, still having the object of his desire back in sight; within his reach; staring at him with pride and a hint of pity.
It was exactly what Oliver wanted.
"Well, aren't you gorgeous?" Felix complimented when you arrived in the courtyard, dressing for the end-of-year ball. He stooped down to wrap you in a hug, giving a spin, and setting you on your feet as you laughed at his usual antics. "Absolutely a vision, love, seriously," he praised. "And I have a li'l something for us, hey?" He held up the champagne bottle.
"Christ," you mused, "what's the occasion? They'll supply cocktails there, Fi - "
"We're going to a funeral."
"I'm sorry?"
He sighed, handing you the bottle to dig in his trouser pocket and revealed a stone painted with the word, 'Dad'. Felix looked sheepish, "I thought we could do it for Ollie, yeah? Lad's had a real rough go of it all - "
"I think that's a nice idea, Fi," you cut him off, smiling in assurance, opening the wire on the bottle. "But first, a toast," you proposed, "to the start of summer."
"And end of exams," he agreed, taking the bottle back when you handed it over and popping the cork. He cheered as you drank first, taking his own, wrapping you in a tight hug. "We survived," he laughed, sighing after. "Really glad you were here with me through it, love."
"Yeah, me, too," you whispered, holding back creeping bile when your heart began to pound with harrowing tension. "All right, pretty boy, c'mon, sun's setting."
"Right," he pulled back, "I told Ollie to meet us in the courtyard."
"Which one?"
"C'mon," he laughed, taking your hand and leading you after him. You danced after him on your tip-toes, avoiding using your whole shoe and the high heel that elevated you off the ground several inches. "Easy, watch it, careful now," he teased.
"Hey," Farleigh greeted, watching you two go with a smile.
He bet Venetia that this was the summer you two got together. Felix had confided in him that he was considering the idea of settling down, having sowed his wild oats and being tired of running through girls like he had this past year. Farleigh never thought he'd hear such words from Felix Catton, but after seeing you and his cousin running off, he knew, it was only a matter of time before confessions were made.
"There he is," You pointed.
"Ollie!" Felix called, both of you jogging up to him. "Hiya, mate."
"Hey," He greeted you both as Felix didn't stop.
"C'mon, then! Follow us!"
Upon arriving at a stone bridge that passed over a thin stream, you let Felix explain what you were doing and why you were there. "So, in my family, we have this tradition, right? When somebody dies, we write their name on a, er, on a stone," he showed Ollie the stone he made, "and we chuck it in the river. My great-grandfather started it when his son died in the war. We've only done it for Y/N's parents and my dog so far, but... You know, I don't know, I just..."
"It helped, a bit," you filled in when Felix looked at you. You took the stone from Fi's hand and handed it to Ollie, offering, "Felt like our own private goodbye."
When Oliver took the stone and looked it over, Felix anxiously excused, "This feels a bit fucking stupid now."
"No. It's not stupid," Ollie insisted sincerely - only looking at Felix, like the whole world did. "Thank you."
"It's something, right?"
This lead into Felix explaining "what to do", Ollie taking a moment after. When he looked over, he saw Felix had positioned you in front of him, arms wrapped around your neck to keep you close, both screwing your eyes shut in prayer. It would've been endearing had this been an honest memorial...
When the stone was throw, it clattering into the mud on the embankment... A foreshadow you should've paid more attention to. This lead into you three sitting on the stone bannister, skipping the ball, sharing the champagne, and after learning about Ollie's poor living arrangements, for Felix to invite him home with you two. To Saltburn, setting in motion a series of unfortunate events.
That night, you stayed in Felix's dorm, asking, "Are you sure about this?"
"Hmm?"
"Ollie - coming home with us?"
"Oh, yeah, love, it'll be fine," he promised. "Gives us one more person in the house, that's never bad, is it?"
You couldn't answer, you didn't know.
Your first night home was memorable in the sense that Venetia, Felix's older sister, insisted on 'girls night' and locked you both in her room. "So? Did you tell him yet?" She rushed with an excited grin, pouring you both a glass of wine. "Farleigh and I have a bet goin' - "
"Tell who, what?"
She glared, "Don't play coy. You're in love with Felix!"
"Venetia!"
"Oh, shove off, I won't tell him - but does that mean you haven't either?"
"If I did, you honestly think I'd be here?"
"Well, yes - "
"He doesn't feel the same," you insisted, "and if I tell him, he wouldn't want me here anymore, it'd be awkward."
"You're absolutely insane if you think any of that is true!"
"Ven."
"He's mad for you."
"He say that?"
"Well, no, but I can tell."
"It's not gonna happen," you sighed, shaking your head. "Not with all his interests, and those interested in him," you explained bitterly.
"I think you should tell him," she nodded. "It wouldn't hurt to tell the truth, but it might give you both some relief. I promise, he doesn't want you out of his life, so, even by the off chance he doesn't feel the same, he'd still want you around. Oh, know what would be romantic? Writing him a note! You've always been a talented writer."
By the end of the bottle, you and Venetia had started drafting a letter; confessing your feelings and coming up with the grand idea to ask him to meet you in the maze if he felt the same. It was where you both went when wanting solidarity, being a place of worship for you both. The center of the maze was remote, private, being where your tears could be shed and secrets shared.
It felt fitting to meet there.
Your letter wasn't perfected to your standards until Ollie arrived. His first night, you began to feel that tickle in your chest again, and for some reason, you mistook this for 'butterflies' and decided tonight was the night. So, you snuck into Felix's room before dinner, knowing he was already out, and left your note on his bed; unaware that Oliver was watching through the crack in the bathroom door.
He slithered in when you were done, slowly approaching the bed, and fingering the letter. He plucked it in hand, opened the unsealed envelope, and read your confessional; requesting, that if he even had an inkling of returned affection, he'd meet you after dinner, in the maze. At the center, beneath the Minotaur statue.
Ollie stared at your flourish of a signature and instantly crumpled the letter, surging back into his room and shredding it into bits. He swept them away into the waste bin and adjusted his jacket.
"There you are!" Felix smiled, finding you in the hall. "Don't you look nice, darlin'."
"You always say that."
"I always mean it," he grinned, escorting you to the dining room.
Dinner was... Interesting, to say the least.
You were distracted by nerves only Oliver clocked, Venetia giggling and Felix the center of attention - as usual. He reached out a few times to grab your thigh, asking muttered questions in your ear, making sure you were all right after he noticed you had barely eaten. Oliver had to hide his amusement as you just seemed anxious, and when dinner was ended, he watched you scurry from the room as if the Devil was at your heels.
"Oh, is my darling girl all right?" Elspeth asked in concern.
"She had a lot of wine," Farleigh smirked.
"Ah, yes," Mrs. Catton waved off, and Felix stood from the table shortly after.
Oliver stalked by the windows that evening, catching sight of you, still in your evening gown, cutting through the mist to head into the maze. He smirked, hearing Felix in his room - but then catching sight of Venetia through a different window. A different part of his plan roared to life that night; meeting the sultry sister under the moon, both knowing you were waiting in the dark for Felix.
You paced in the cold. Your dress drug through the grass, bare feet tickled.
The hour drug by slowly. You lit another cigarette, watching the mouth of the maze.
The second hour rushed by. Your stomach knotted.
Three, four hours ticked by. And you were left standing alone, in the middle of the maze, coughing and wheezing.
You dropped to your knees when your ailment turned physically violent; fingernails digging into the mud as you choked and heaved, trying in vain to clear your throat. When you stuck your fingers down your throat, you threw up bile, dirt, acid, wine, and long, bright yellow sunflower petals - sobs soon wracking your entire being.
He didn't come... He didn't come. He didn't come.
You threw up twice more, blood staining your chest and dress; teeth outlined in red, the dewy taste of pollen left on your tongue. You sobbed until your head hurt, and sobbed some more; confusion and heartache taking over. When you managed to find your feet, you felt lighter, thinner, smaller, less of yourself than you have ever before.
A piece of you had officially cracked away, being spewed into the mud and grass at the base of the Minotaur statue.
When venturing back to your room, you gasped when you nearly smacked into Duncan. You stared at one another in mild shock, his eyes taking in your state and you quietly begged, "Please... Don't say anything to Sir and Mrs. Catton. I don't want them t'worry until I know what's wrong. I-I'm going to the doctors, Duncan, please, give me time to figure this out."
He nodded sadly, shocked by the blood left behind. The following morning, he didn't wake you... He let you sleep, demanding you be left alone to the waitstaff. When Elspeth questioned your absence at breakfast as Ollie entered the dining room, Duncan was heard, "Miss L/N was up early this morning, went for a run. She went back to bed, said she didn't sleep well."
"Oh, the poor darling," Sir James Catton tutted.
"Morning," Ollie greeted, careful not to let his excitement show over your empty chair beside Felix. Venetia was staring at her brother in near anger, confusing him, but distracted instantly by Oliver's arrival. Sir James greeted him first, Venetia followed, and Felix invited the lad to help himself to a meal.
You had sobbed the whole night, puking bits of blood as the flower petals tightened your windpipe; the tackiness making them stick like glue. You didn't know what to do - there was no way you could face the Cattons now, not after Felix surely told them that you would leave Saltburn (for good) soon.
But sometime after breakfast, there was a knock at your door.
"Come in," you bid quietly, debating if you should start packing or not. When Felix entered, he was holding a bouquet of sunflowers, smiling softly.
"All right, love?"
"What?"
He chuckled, "I'm asking if you're all right, we missed you at breakfast."
You just blinked stupidly, "Uh, y-yeah, guess I am."
"Good," he chirped, approaching you and handing over the flowers. "Got these for you, thought maybe you could use a bit cheering up?"
"Why would I...? Felix, is there - is there anything you want to say to me?"
"Uh, no? Not really, I mean, I was gonna see if you fancied coming with us to the field?"
You stared at him in confusion. "You... Don't want me to go?"
"Go? Go where?" He laughed, "Cause yes, I'd like you to go with us... To the field? I just asked you - you sure you're feeling all right?"
"Um, y-yeah," you swallowed thickly, petals peeling back down your throat. "Thank you, for these," you accepted the flowers.
"Figured, with your parent's anniversary comin' up, should keep you close, you know?"
You shook your head, "Wasn't even on my mind, Fi..."
"And I just put it there, Christ, Felix, fantastic job," he cursed himself, hand through his hair in stress. "I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean - "
"You didn't, it's fine - I-I mean, I'm fine," you assured, trying to stave off tears. "Actually, Fi, I'm feeling a bit tired, think I'll nap."
"Duncan said you were?"
"No, no, I didn't get back t'sleep," you nearly whispered, needing to clear your throat again. "You lot have fun, I'll find you later."
"Sure? 'S Ollie's first time," he taunted. "Don't wanna miss that, do yah, love? And we're reading The Half-Blood Prince together, can't miss that."
"I'll catch up tonight, promise," you nodded, "just tell me what chapter you get through."
Felix stared at you, reaching to pinch your jaw and pet his thumb down your cheek. He whispered, "Sure you're all right?"
You nodded, shaking off his touch, hating how easy it was to fall in love with him. "Just tired, pretty boy. Promise."
"All right, well... Find us later, yeah?"
"'Course."
But you didn't leave your room for three days, unable to control the vomiting spells, the blood, the pain, the petals... The gutwrenching heartache. Venetia checked on you damn near every other hour, sitting, resting your head in her lap, stroking your locks in comfort as you sobbed.
"Tell me what's happening?" She begged, unable to get it out of you yet. But you felt another wave, jumping from her embrace to rush into the restroom; sliding on your bruised knees in front of the toilet. She followed, and like her brother's done many times, gathered your hair to hold back. "Jesus fucking Christ!" She gaped, seeing the blood and long, bright yellow petals. "Are those - what the fuck is that!?"
You heaved greatly, throat shredding as blooms and stubby stems cut up your esophagus. When you stared at the devastatingly beautiful blooms coated in your blood, floating atop of the water, you looked up at your friend and confessed, "I'm in love with your brother."
"I know, babe - "
"And he doesn't feel the same," you sobbed; breaking down, panting for breath, Venetia dropping to your level to pull you into her chest. "I-I-I left him the letter, Ven, I-I-I asked him to meet me..."
"He didn't show?"
"I waited hours!" You wailed, finally breaking down after the past couple of years caught up to you. "He never came! An-And then, he shows up with flowers - with fucking sunflowers! - acting as if he never saw my letter! Acting as if he didn't know! Like - Like it's easier to ignore than confront!"
"Oh, sweet girl," she whispered, gently rocking you both as you couldn't catch your breath.
Neither of you attended dinner that evening. Felix showed up again, like he had everyday, asking if you were hungry while holding a plate of toast and mug of tea. But you had passed out in Venetia's arms, the fake blonde waving her brother away, doing her best not to snap at him - remembering she made you a promise that she wouldn't interfere. You feared if she got involved, you really would be asked to leave Saltburn and you had nowhere else to go.
The following morning, you were up before Venetia.
"Hey," she grunted, stretching in your bed after spending the night. "You all right? What're you doing?"
"Goin' for a run," you answered, lacing your trainers.
"How do you feel?"
"Well," you sighed, "pretty fucking foolish, but it's summer. Yeah? Best not to dwell on what I can't have..."
"But it's killing you, love," she sat up.
"I'll get over it," you assured, not believing yourself. "If he can act as if nothing's happened, so can I. Do me a favor, though, love?"
"Anything."
"Sit between us?"
She frowned, watching you head out of the room. When she peered from the window, she saw you setting off around the ground and flopped back into bed for another hour.
"Oh, there you are!" Elspeth gasped when you entered the dining room that morning - jetting out of her chair. "Oh, darling, are you all right? Gave us a fright - thought you were sick or something!"
"Just a wee stomach bug, I promise," you accepted her embrace.
"I'm glad you've joined us," she whispered. "Felix has been dreadfully annoying."
"I can hear you, Mum," Felix groaned when you two pulled back. "Ven, hop down one," He told his sister.
"No, no, stay put, love, I can sit here," you assured the siblings, taking the seat on the other side of the sister.
Felix frowned instantly. "Don't think I've ever seen you two sit apart all these years," Sir James teased, reaching to pat your hand. "Good to have you join us, darling."
"Thank you," you whispered, Duncan placing a plate before you.
"How come she's served?" Ollie wondered without thinking.
"Miss Y/N has been unwell," Duncan replied stiffly.
"Oh, tell the truth, Duncan," you smirked, "I'm just your favorite."
It spurred the family on, Farleigh offering you a look of confusion from across the table. You waved him off, not once looking to your left at Felix - only ever answering Venetia by looking directly at her, avoiding her brother.
Felix felt something in his gut shift as you avoided him more and more. Venetia all but moved into your room, or you into hers - not wanting you alone in this time of duress. Meaning, each time Felix tried to get you alone for questioning, his sister was driving him away. When hanging out as a group, you no longer were at Felix's side, but opted for Venetia and Farleigh's.
It left a gaping hole for Ollie to fill - happily.
"Did I do something, you think?" He asked Oliver one day, floating in the lake, watching you braid Ven's hair as she read from her copy of The Half-Blood Prince.
"No, just maybe," Ollie shrugged, "it's, I don't know, girl stuff?"
"I'm her best mate, she never avoids me like this," Felix frowned. Oliver hated how genuinely hurt Felix sounded. "Seriously, what did I do?"
"I couldn't say, mate. Maybe just let her cool off, come to you when ready," he advised, watching Felix nod sadly and stare at you from behind his sunnies. He craved Felix's attention that you so effortlessly warranted.
You didn't sit with Felix during movie nights anymore, opting for the furthest seat on the floor at Sir James' feet. You didn't spend the night in his room once, nor let him into yours. You weren't on his tennis team. You didn't share sunbeds.
You no longer met for midnight swims, something that made Felix explicitly sad. He waited with his feet in the water, but this time, you were the one who never showed up.
You didn't sit with him at meals, making his family acutely suspicious. Yet neither of you seemed at odds - so, what were the truly worried over? You acted as if there wasn't a thing wrong, but they all noticed the sickly state you took on.
You thinned out, you barely ate a fourth of your meals, you went on runs as often as you could - even in the sweltering heat. You barely slept, creating bags under your eyes, dull, lifeless hair, and a concerning docile attitude. It was as if you were haunting the castle, barely visible, making yourself into a shell of who you once were.
You simply weren't yourself and the Cattons had no idea how to help. Elspeth sent tea to your room. Sir James let you pick movies for family movie nights, but you never seemed interested. Farleigh tried to engage you on the daily, but nothing seemed to register. Even Oliver put on a show by approaching you at the lake, sitting beside you, trying to strike a conversation.
"Sorry, Ollie, I was about t'go for a run," you eased.
"Been goin' on a lot of those. Want company?"
"No," you refused.
"Sure it's a good idea?" He asked. "Been throwing up a lot, might make it worse."
This made you freeze from where you had stood, slowly turning to look down at him. "Excuse me?" You seethed. "You spying on me?"
"I can hear yah sometimes," he nodded. "You're hiding it from the others, aren't yah? The blood, the tears... The way you're wasting away?"
From a short distance, Felix recognized the angry look and body language you wore. Slowly lowering yourself, you hissed to Ollie, "You keep your fucking mouth shut or I'll make sure you're on the first train back to fucking nowhere tomorrow morning. Hear me? You don't know shit about a Goddamn thing, you don't fucking know me, and if you're smart, you'll shut the fuck up, Oliver."
He watched you with a small smirk; standing over him before vacating the lake's shore.
That night, Oliver heard moaning from the adjoining bathroom. Upon his 'investigation', he spied Felix in the clawed-foot bathtub; steam wafting from the water, sweat beading down his skin, and bicep pumping vigorously as he pleasured himself. But what infuriated Oliver was the subtle, nearly slurred and unintelligible moan of your name from Felix's mouth. It seems, despite his best effort to drive a wedge between you two, there was lingering emotion that neither knew what to do with.
You were withering away, and Felix was self pleasuring to you.
Oliver had to up the ante, but how? You avoided the Cattons on a rotating basis - not letting any of them too close to figure out you were devastatingly ill, except Venetia. And the sister wasn't about to spill this darkening secret of yours, she was loyal to a fault.
Only Oliver seemed to know this dark little tale, figuring Felix hadn't even admitted his feelings for you to himself. Perhaps why he found relief in the tub, releasing into the water with a tear falling from his eye over the idea that you no longer wanted to sustain a friendship. It was all terribly confusing for the summer residents at Saltburn. And yet, in an effort to feel closer to Felix than you ever had, Oliver climbed into the draining bathtub and slurped Felix's cum as if it were water from The Holy Grail.
It made him feel superior. It made him feel as if he were winning an endless race. Made him feel like he was validated in pushing you out in favor of himself - no matter the history between you and the Cattons. Made him feel like he was solidifying himself amongst the distant royalty and you were giving reason to be thrown out of Saltburn.
But he would underestimate the power of family.
He got a little too cocky the night he met Venetia outside, in the moonlight, with Farleigh watching from his window.
The following morning, there was a pounding at your door - a rare night Ven didn't sleep with you. When you opened the door, Felix came pushing in, looking purely distraught.
"Look, I know you're pissed at me for whatever reason - but I fucking need to talk to you, okay? Please - I-I feel like I'm about to lose my mind, Y/N, love, please - "
"What's happened?" You asked, shutting the door. "I was about to head out - "
"Please, love! Please!"
"Christ Almighty, all right, the fuck's goin' on with you? Hey? Looks like you're gonna give yourself a stroke," you approached him, caressing his bicep. "What happened?"
"He kissed her."
"Come again?"
"Fucking Ollie - Oliver! He fucking kissed Venetia!"
"When?"
"Last night, Farleigh saw them."
"Oh, love, c'mon, you know Farleigh doesn't like Ollie."
"So, he's lying? You think he's lying?"
"I didn't say that, but you're all worked up. C'mon, just breathe for a minute, gonna pass out from the way you're huffin' and puffin'."
"Please, be serious! This is serious!"
"I know it is, I'm just trying to be rational."
"So, Farleigh's lying."
"Well, I don't think so - kinda a huge lie t'tell, innit?"
"I thought so," he snapped, hand through his hair in anxiety. "I-I mean, how could he? How could Ollie do this - I-I mean, my sister? My fucking sister?"
"Love, if you're this worked up, just go talk to him," you tried. "Ask Ollie point-blank what happened."
"Would you ask Venetia?"
"No, darling, that's not how this works."
"Well, how will we know who's lying? Farleigh or Ollie?"
"I don't know - is this even something to lie about? What did Farleigh say?"
"He saw them - tonguing - practically eating each other!"
You sighed, "Love? You're not gonna want t'hear this."
"God, what?"
"Venetia's a big girl, she can tongue and eat who she pleases."
"It's bad form, though, innit? I mean - he's my friend, my guest, here under my invitation, and he gets with my sister?"
You shrugged slightly, "I don't know, Fi, but she's allowed to do as she pleases; Ollie, too. It's not like either are dating someone, hey? What? You jealous? Of your sister?"
"Fuck off with that, know that's not it," he snapped again.
"What is it, then?"
"It's another Eddie situation!"
You sighed, "Fi... You can't horde people, right? Ollie bein' here, he's free game to you, Farleigh, Ven."
"And you?"
"Fuck no, lad gives me the creeps," you blanched.
"Still?"
"Yeah, fuckin' still. Call it intuition, but there's something off, Felix. I know you don't want to hear it, but when I have ever been wrong? Huh? Tell me."
"You've not been."
"Exactly - I know a leech when I see one. So, you draw your assumptions, but perhaps what Farleigh saw is true, perhaps not - but you'll get more answers by confronting the truth than ignoring it."
He sighed, dropping to your bed, shaking his head. "Well..." He mumbled, "What do you think?"
You paused, "Doesn't matter."
"Does to me. Please, love, it's Eddie again and I don't - "
"All right," you relented, sitting beside him. "My money's on... Something happened, it's just a matter of what, exactly. How about we go to breakfast, see what the energy is there."
"Feels like I can't stomach anything."
"Your mother and father will be upset if we don't go down, c'mon," you whispered, standing, offering your hand. "I'll sit with you, and if you get upset, you can just lean into me, yeah?"
He took your hand, but didn't get up. He just stared at where you were conjoined, rubbing your hand with his thumb. "Does this mean we're fine? That things are... Are things okay between us?"
"Never not been fine, Fi."
"You've avoided me since we got here."
"I've been dealing with shit - "
"That you won't tell me about," he scoffed.
"Yeah," you agreed, his eyes shooting up to meet yours, "you're right, I won't tell you 'cause I can't yet. I want answers first... Then we can talk. I've gotta figure this out for myself, Fi."
"Well, I can help, you know?"
"No, you've helped plenty," you alluded. "C'mon, breakfast."
"Fuck's sake," he grumbled, finally standing, but tightening his grip on your hand. You lead the way to the terrace the Cattons decided to dine at that morning, being the last two to arrive.
There were two seats side-by-side.
"Good morning," you greeted the family that took you in, Felix silent and angry as he took his seat - but still pulled yours out.
"Morning."
"Good morning, darlings," Elspeth breathed from the head of the table.
"You sleep well?" Ollie asked as Felix whipped his cloth napkin to his lap.
"No, not really, mate," he grit, not looking at the boy and instead, reached for your hand. You handed him a cigarette, placing your own between your lips - both forgoing morning meals.
"We're 30 for dinner tomorrow night," Sir James informed the table. "Stopford Sackville has cried off."
"Oh, dear, that's a shame," Elspeth feigned sympathy.
"God, I forgot about fucking dinner," Felix tilted his head back, speaking between his stick as you lit the end of yours - then reaching for his after nudging his bulging bicep to warrant his immediate attention.
"Wait, who is coming to dinner, again?" Farleigh asked.
"The Henrys," Ven reminded.
"No, please!" Farleigh whined quietly.
"Who are the Henrys?" Ollie asked.
"Dad's friends," Ven filled in, Felix glaring at you as you laced your hand with his and squeezed in warning. "They're all called Henry."
"Not all of them," James corrected. "Just most."
"It'll be fun," Elspeth assured.
"It'll be being molested by Henry," Ven continued, swallowing a bite of croissant. "You know which one."
"Oh, I'll put you next to Oliver, then, he can molest you instead," Elspeth quipped, Felix strangling your hand.
"Don't," you whispered, Ollie's head cocking at Ven in an unspoken conversation. She hummed an amused chuckle. Felix glared at them both before looking back at you, silently begging you to let him snap. "Not right now, please, just breathe," you whispered in his ear, ensuring none others heard you.
"Oh, Oliver, I was going to say, we should do something fun for your birthday. Y/N's is at the end of the summer, we can combine efforts! A proper party! No Henrys, something actually fun. What do you think, darling?"
"Mum, you know Y/N doesn't celebrate anymore," Felix seethed with offense.
"Oh, I know, but it might be fun - a combination party?" She offered. "Darling?"
"If Oliver and Y/N would like it, I think it's a splendid idea," James agreed with his wife.
"I think Oliver looks like he'd rather throw himself out of a window," Farleigh chimed, everyone knowing to avoid asking you your thoughts since you couldn't celebrate without your parents - it just felt wrong. Like a betrayal. So, you no longer celebrated the day of your birth, but the Cattons looked for any reason to throw a party.
"What kind of party?" Oliver asked Elspeth.
"I don't know, whatever you want!" She insisted. "What do you think? About 100 people?"
"A hundred?"
"Or two! It invariably ends up being two, doesn't it, with this sort of thing?" She asked her husband, who hummed in amusement. She told Ollie, "Invite whoever you want. All your friends."
"What friends?" Farleigh leered.
"Oh! Oh!" James folded his paper messily in excitement, jumping to attention, "How about fancy dress?"
Ollie reached over and nudged Felix in curiosity, picking up on his angry demeanor. Your best mate looked down at you, making you lean your chin on his shoulder. "Oh, yes!" Mrs. Catton agreed.
"I can wear my suit of armor, Elspeth!" James giddily exclaimed with a childlike grin that made your heart weep gently.
"Good idea, darling," she agreed as Venetia stood hastily from the table; all knowing where she was going, and what she was going to do. "We could have a theme!" She distracted, you watching Venetia and knowing you needed to follow. She'd been caring for you in your illness, you could at least hold her hair back, too. "What about Midsummer Night's Dream?" Elspeth looked around for opinions.
"Lovely," James prasied.
"Bring on the slutty fairies," Farleigh mused.
"Awh, lovie, you'll still be the sluttiest fairy, don't worry," you teased, glancing back again and seeing Venetia escape inside.
"You wanna match my sluttiness?" He asked you.
"As if that was ever in question," you shot back, Felix offering you a small look. "I'll be right back," you excused yourself, standing from your seat but bending at the waist. You whispered in Felix's ear, "I've gotta go, 'M sorry, just keep calm, love. You're all right."
"Find me later," he requested, holding your hand a moment longer before letting you escape.
"So," James grinned as you walked away, leaning in towards his son, "how are things with you two?"
"Yes, darling, you two seem better! Did you finally tell her how you feel?" Elspeth asked.
If Felix was surprised by his parents knowledge, he didn't show; instead scoffing lightly, "Yeah, right..."
"Oh, darling - "
"She doesn't feel the same, Mum," he refused, sighing deeply - making Oliver's stomach coil. "Just leave it, all right? We're just friends, only ever gonna be just friends - she's part of the family. No need to mess all that up."
Farleigh smirked subtly and took a drag from his cigarette.
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While hosting the Henrys for dinner, you felt another tide turn while sitting amongst the rich and fabulous. You knew them all, of course, grew up knowing them and attending these dinners with your parents. But something was amiss, something churned your stomach and clenched your heart.
You felt your chest tickle and tighten, the desperate need to cough nearly strangling you; Oliver paying close attention to your struggle from beside Felix. You coughed unexpectedly, seeing blood splatter onto your plate and without a single person noticing, you got up, excused yourself, and rushed from the dinner table with a hand over your mouth. Duncan swiftly cleared your place setting.
"Hear that, love?" Felix turned to look at you, only finding an empty seat. He looked around in case you were mingling, not spying you, and slowly got to his feet.
"Where are you going, darling?" James asked, "Sit, sit - "
"I'm only going to check on Y/N," he explained.
"No, no, sit, sit, sit, we know she's been fighting her stomach all summer," James waved off, and slowly, Felix went against his instinct and sat down. Venetia felt her heart steel in annoyance, wishing her brother would just wake up and realize what was happening.
When Oliver caught Venetia's eye, she questioned, "Felix warned you off, then?"
"Well, maybe we just need to be a bit more careful," he hushed.
"No, thanks," Ven refused, not one to sneak around her own home to satisfy her brother's jealously and possessiveness. "It's just sooooo disappointing," she snipped. "You're just another one of his toys."
"Like Y/N?"
"Y/N's not a toy," she barked.
"You're upset," Oliver noted.
"Oh, don't worry, I'm used to it - honestly. I mean, he never liked sharing his toys. Even the ones he doesn't want to play with anymore."
Oliver cocked his head, wondering, "Well, he's kept Y/N around this long."
"Y/N isn't a toy, Oliver, not to Felix, not to this family," she sneered in anger. "And he won't ever grow tired of her, she doesn't hold a temporary position in his life - unlike most." She chuckled dryly, "Honestly, do you not get it by now? She's the gatekeeper, and you're just a passing interest. You won't ever truly be his because she already is, and there's no replacing Y/N L/N - not to Felix, not in this lifetime." She offered a fake smile and turned from him to face her left, distracted by one of the Henrys.
Oliver knew all that, and he was working on removing you from the portrait - but it seemed, maybe he didn't have to work too hard. A rare disease had infected you the moment Oliver Quick laid eyes on Felix Catton - eating away at you internally, making you lose interest in yourself, plaguing you with self doubt to the point you couldn't look in a mirror without seeing a stranger. When Oliver decided to act against the pretty, rich boy, he started a chain of events that lead here: him, in a tux, at a dinner party, and you, shattering the frail skin on your knees from how hard you dropped to them - spewing blood, wine, and sunflower blossoms.
You choked harshly, make up ruined from your blood, sweat, and tears; hacking out most of a put-together flower. Your throat was shredded, dripping blood down into your lungs to slowly fill them again - floral growth breaking the barrier of your organs, sending unimaginable pain through your body.
You heard the karaoke begin, heaving over the sounds of drunken antics. You slowly crawled out of the bathroom, sniffling as you used your bed to lift your fragile body to your feet only to strip from your gown and crash into bed. Weakness invaded your muscles, exhaustion coated your bones, and your eyes stung with the endless supply of tears that would stain your cheeks.
Morning came far too quickly, and with it, Farleigh's forced departure from Saltburn. You were all dreadfully confused, Venetia explaining he'd been caught nicking items from around the house to sell for a profit - perhaps feeling desperate, wanting to help his mother without needing to ask for the help.
You weren't sure what to say to the situation, so you said nothing, but felt desperate to scream for your own help at the top of your lungs. The closer Ollie's birthday drew, the more you bent over the toilet, the more blooms that tore from your lungs and esophagus. You were at a loss over what to do, fearing you were too late for a doctor, and on the hottest day of the year, while everyone was outside by the water, you were inside, scouring the vast and random library.
"Miss," Duncan leered from behind you, no longer causing fright. "Is there something I can help you locate?"
"No, I'm just doin' some more research, Duncan, thank you, though."
"On what's wrong, Miss?"
"Yeah," you frowned, storing another book. "Nothing answers my questions, nothing explains this condition."
"Hm," he considered, "may I?"
"Please," you gestured him forward, watching in mild curiosity as he moved the ladder, ascended, looked over the spines of the many books and then made his selection.
"I've read every book in this library, and think this might help," He explained, handing you the dark green book about Japanese lore and watching you instantly finger through it.
You eyed him for a moment, asking, "You haven't told them, have you?"
"I found your request for privacy reasonable," he nodded, "and have not told the masters of the house."
You nodded, breathing in relief. "I promise, I'll tell them soon - when I figure this out."
"I think you already have," he mentioned, glancing at the open book in your hands. When you looked down, you had paused on a page titled: Hanahaki Disease.
The chapter was filled with detailed accounts of previous patients and sufferers; all giving a recollection of their battle with the unknown illness. You looked up at Duncan in shock, rereading the passage that told you what you needed to know:
"Hanahaki Disease can be fatal by making the infected vomit flora; either just petals or full blooms. There are three known variations of the disease, but all are caused by unrequited love - making the process often long, drawn out, and incredibly painful. The first variation involves the infected confessing their love to their desired, and that love being returned. This is the cleanest way to cure Hanahaki Disease. The second variation includes the desired not returning the known affection, leaving the infected to undergo surgery, a viable but messy recovery. The operation removes the plants growing in the lungs, but in turn, also removes all known traces and memory of the desired - but it does result in the infected being cured. The third and final variation is the worst, where the infected confesses, the desired does not return any affection or want, and leaves them to suffer until the bitter, bloody end. Without care or caution, this disease can become unmanageable with common side effects including but not limited to: blood loss, weight loss, avoidance, isolation, fear of food, fear of living, fear of affection, miscommunication, blood from other bodily orifices, and uncontrollable depression, anxiety, and other mental afflictions. Most infected never fully recover from the aftermath of this disease, and even when their love is returned, they are often haunted by the damaging effects of unrequited love."
You stared at the passage in shock, looking up slowly to spy Duncan staring at you in pity.
"I had a companion like you are to Mr. Felix, once," he confessed. "I was dedicated to my job, loyal to the Cattons, and in turn, he suffered greatly because I couldn't love him how he deserved." Duncan blinked at you twice in the silence that stretched between you. "My advice, Miss? Do not wait - you should come clean to Mr. Felix, let him decide how he feels, and should he not return your affection, I will take you personally to the hospital, where you might choose to undergo the procedure."
"And lose all memory of Felix? Of the Cattons? Of Saltburn?" You asked in desperation, tears swelling in your sunken eyes. "Not likely, Duncan, they're my family. I couldn't bear to forget them, even if it means I should live - I wouldn't be alive anymore. Not without him, not without this family that took me in without a moment's hesitation. I'd lose myself."
"But you'd have the chance to discover something new," he argued gently. "You have your own decisions to make, Miss, but I can only tell you my deepest regret was being so far up Sir James' arse that I missed the life that passed me by. And now," he sighed, "I live with the fact that I condemned my beautiful Roger."
"I'm sorry for your loss, Duncan..."
"I do not wish to see you suffer more than you have been," he frowned. "But I understand the fear you have, emotions are terrifying, especially for the young. But love is not conditional, Miss... Remember that. And having only a part of Mr. Felix would result in losing yourself entirely, whereas losing a part of him would result in you rediscovering all you are. Just... Just something to think about."
"How did you find this?" You asked softly.
"After Roger, I had no reason to care for much else other than the written accounts of those who passed before me. It felt like I was given a life to live, if only vicariously. I've read them all," he reminded, gesturing to the grand library, "and when I found this, I knew I had my answers. That being afraid costs us more than being brave."
You read the book in its entirety. You soaked in every recorded account.
Duncan's words weighed on your heart, and the last few nights leading up to Oliver's party were spent on bruised knees. Venetia still slept in your room a few nights a week, begging you to seek medical attention, and you promised her, after the party, you'd take action. She didn't need to know you were lying just yet.
But as it seemed, your lies were minuscule in comparison to others.
The day of the party arrived, Felix taking Ollie out for a drive as a birthday present. Where their destination was, you didn't know, you couldn't care, because watching them drive off the property dropped you to the ground as your heart felt as if it were physically shattered. You couldn't breath, the sunflowers strangling you from the inside, and after watching the love of your life drive off with another lad, you felt as if your fate was sealed.
That was it.
He didn't love you, he had Ollie. There was only so much love to be given at a time, and Ollie soaked it all up. You didn't stand a chance, you knew Felix's infatuation was out of control with Ollie's pitiful background piquing his interest. You felt like old news, you felt abandoned, alone, cold, heartless...
"What're you wearing tonight?" Venetia asked, tossing pieces of clothing around. "Felix is wearing these sort of golden wings, want to match?"
"What are you wearing, love? Maybe I'll match with you?"
"No, no," she grinned, "I've just found the perfect outfit for you!"
She squealed in excitement, turning to show you the dress seemingly made out of strips of fabric and a corset; creating an ethereal look and design. The color was pale, moss green with shimmering pale golds and nudes paired amongst the fabric. It created an illusion that the mini dress moved and swished around your thighs, and when she handed you golden gladiator sandals, you were sold.
Venetia spent more time helping you get ready than she did herself. She ensured your hair was pinned off your neck, that your make-up was mystical and covered in glitter, corset cinched at the waist to show your figure, and that you had a smaller pair of golden wings to top off your slutty fairy look.
Farleigh would've been proud.
The dress showed off your back, only thin straps keeping it in place as the wings were small enough that you weren't hidden under them. You showed more skin in that dress than you had all summer, your thinning frame tailored under Venetia's talented fingers.
Her hands clapped when you showed her the final look.
"Love the spider web chain," you complimented, clipped her in.
"Sure?"
"It's a look, Ven, you're stunning," you complimented, smiling at your friend with genuine kindness. "C'mon, I think I can hear people arriving."
Once more, Venetia squealed and snatched your hand, racing from her room and leading you into the party on the grounds as the sun was beginning to set. After greeting Elspeth and Sir James, complimenting their chosen costumes, you were sucked into a night of young debauchery; Venetia pinned to your side.
And thankfully, she was there to witness the moment you gave up. Moving through one of the darkened rooms, you were mingling with old classmates, happy to see familiar, friendly faces, and just as you turned, your glass shattered to the floor with the last bit of your heart and composure.
You saw Felix, clear as day, dancing with none other then fucking India - the girl you felt most in competition with, besides Annabel. He was so close to her, they were practically fucking; seemingly distracted by one another, they didn't even notice the party.
"Oh, love," Ven turned to you, but you just gave her a pained look.
"I'm gonna go," you rushed.
"No, wait - "
"I need to be alone, Ven," you insisted, the tears starting as your chest felt too tight in the crowded room. "I told you, I fucking told you, he doesn't feel the same," you sniffled, her eyes widening as you felt a familiar metallic taste in your mouth.
When your hand lifted, you smeared blood from your lips and nostrils, blinking in recognition - knowing what was to come next.
"I-I-I have to go, 'M sorry," you rushed, blood oozing and dripping down your neck in artistic scribbles. You didn't bother hiding this time, turning from your fellow drunkards to escape outside - heading for the maze, like you always did when needing to be alone.
Your room wasn't safe, anyone could find you there. The entire home was overrun with party-goers. The grounds surrounding Saltburn unsafe for your breakdown, as well.
So, you raced to the one place you felt safe anymore: the maze.
Your blood stained the shrubbery as you stumbled through it, trying to hold together, but the moment you reached the Minotaur statue, your legs gave up, mud squishing to your knees, and instantly coughing, hacking, and heaving blood from your lungs.
Long, pretty bright yellow sunflower petals came out in an abundance, the most it's ever been, before you were vomiting full blooms again.
You felt woozy, dizzy... Less than human.
You just wanted it to stop.
When you left Venetia's side, she noted you beelining outside and knew immediately where you had run off to. In unfiltered anger, she turned and shoved through the crowd up to her brother, grabbed him by the strap of his wife beater, and yanked him after her.
"Oi! Hey, hey, hey, Venetia! What the fuck are you doing!?"
"You've fucked up!" She raged, ignoring the looks from others and lead him outside so they could hear each other.
"Are you out of your mind?" He demanded.
"Are you!?" She sneered. "The fuck are you doing!?"
"What?" He scoffed, "What am I doing wrong, dancing at our party? Hmm?"
"With that skank!?"
"Hey!" India barked, having followed them outside.
"This doesn't concern you!" Ven barked, Felix feeling on-edge with his sister so enraged.
"You're talkin' about me, I think it does!"
"Ven, what the hell's gotten into you - "
"It's about Y/N!"
Felix froze for a moment, then looked at India, "Go inside."
"What!?"
"Piss off, India! She's right, this doesn't concern you!" He snapped, the girl scurrying away with her tail tucked firmly between her legs. When Felix looked at his sister, he demanded in a rush, "What about Y/N? Where even is she - "
"I promised her I wouldn't intervene, I swore I wouldn't say anything - especially to you, but you're such a fucking idiot, if you're not fed anything, you don't get it!"
"Is this really the time to insult me?"
She glared, steeling her jaw and gritting, "Y/N's in the maze."
"Okay? She goes there - "
"No, listen to me," Ven sneered. "She's been in love with you, Farleigh and I both figured it out - but it was really fucking obvious."
Felix blanched in shock, "What?"
"She's in love with you, you fucking idiot! She's been sick the whole summer because you can't love her back!"
"How - what are you on about!?"
"She's been throwing up blood, you're honestly killing her by doing what you're doing with all these girls! By ignoring whatever you feel - by denying it repeatedly! It's not fair! All she's done is love and support you, care for you, protect you, and you're fucking killing her!"
He blinked, "She loves me?"
"Yes, you fucking imbecile! And tonight was her last straw, I fucking saw it! She lives here, you jagoff, and you're dancing with India - right in front of Y/N? In her own home? Where she's supposed to be safe!?"
"I-I didn't - I didn't know!"
"No shit, because you're both fucking idiots who talk about everything except your feelings! Do better, Felix! Now, go! She needs you to be a fucking man - go! She needs you, Felix, she's in the maze, don't fuck this up more than you have!"
He didn't hesitate to shoot off in the direction of the maze, Farleigh catching sight and pushing his brows together before realizing he was sprinting after you - I mean, who else would Felix move that fast for? Into the maze Felix went, and Farleigh knew, everything was about to change. Elspeth and Sir James didn't notice a thing, too distracted by their party, but there was another watching; a set of dead, ghostly blue eyes nearly glowing in the night as they locked onto their prey fleeing the party.
Felix sprinted his way through the maze, an expert at navigating, and when he made it to the center, his own heart constricted to a suffocating depth.
"Oh, my girl," he rushed to your side, getting on his knees and holding your weakening body as crimson dribbled from your mouth. The pool of blood was grand enough that he worried how you'd make it through the night; floating sunflowers a hauntingly beautiful sight in the dead of night. "Hey, hey, you're okay, you're all right, I got you - I'm here," he whispered, smoothing hair from your face. "It's me, it's your Felix, love, just focus on me, yeah?"
And finally, with a sniffle that did little to nothing, you looked into his eyes with yours rimmed in red. "Fi..."
"Don't talk, save your energy, I'm gonna get you somewhere safe - "
"I've gotta tell you something."
"Tell me after we get to your room, yeah?"
Your head shook, "If I wait longer, it'll get worse."
"Sweetheart, please - "
"I'm in love with you," you finally confessed to him, unable to look him in the eyes for a second longer. You stared at your demise, blood soaking into both your knees. "Have been, I think, since I moved in here," you whimpered, "and after my parents died, I fell so fucking in love with you that it hurt. But out of fear of losing this friendship, I couldn't - I couldn't tell you. And now, it's killing me, but you deserve to know: I'm so fucking in love with you, makes me physically ill. I-I can't do this anymore, Fi, I just can't - the pain is too much and I've already lost so much - "
"Felix?" Ollie called in a drunken whine, entering the center.
"Oh, Jesus Christ, man!" Felix snapped, whipping around to glare at Ollie as you folded into his chest out of sheer pain. Of course, in the midst of your confession, nobody but Oliver fucking Quick would show up. "Get out of here! Now, Ollie, I'm not fucking joking!"
"Is she all right?" He asked, stumbling a bit.
"What the fuck are you still doing here!? Get out, fucking go, this doesn't concern you!"
"We need to talk, I need to talk to you!"
"It's fine, talk t'him," you wheezed, trying to get to your feet, but failing out of sheer weakness.
"No, you need to fucking go, Ollie! Now! Y/N and I need to talk a helluva lot more than we do!"
You used his shoulders to stand, "Talk t'him, Fi, don't let this shit happen t'someone else." He glanced to your blood as you let go of him, stumbling just out of reach, towards one of the maze exits.
"We need to talk, Felix!" Ollie demanded as you slipped out of sight.
"No, you know what? Fuck you!" He barked. "You're not what's important right now, Ollie! For fuck's sake!"
"Don't go after her," Ollie sneered, stepping in Felix's way when he climbed to his feet and meant to go after you.
"Fuck is wrong with you, mate!?" Felix raged, shoving Ollie back several steps. "Hey? So fucked in the head, you think you take precedence over my girl?"
"Y-Your girl?"
"Fucking Y/N!" He shouted. "Yes! My fucking girl, that I was so blinded by you to fucking see what was wrong! Now fuck off!"
"She's nothing - "
"SHE'S FUCKING EVERYTHING!" Felix shouted, you pausing in the maze when you heard it. "You and I can talk later, if I even fucking want to, but right now, my girl needs me - not fucking you!"
"I see she's got you so blinded - "
"You think Y/N's the problem here?" Felix sneered, getting in Ollie's face; fisting the lapels of his blazer. "Huh? You blaming her?"
"No, just saying - "
"All the wrong fucking things," Felix shoved him back again. "She's all that fucking matters to me!" He shouted again, you slowly nearing the entrance into the center of the maze, remaining hidden behind a shrub. "Not you, not all your lies - but her! It's always been her, but you fucking knew that, didn't you!? You saw what we were, what we had, what we could've been, what we were dancing around, and just had to wedge yourself between us, yeah? I didn't see it before, but your fucking lies - all your fucking lies, you were trying to ruin the best thing in my life! And you might've just succeeded!"
"She doesn't deserve you! None of them do!"
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Oliver!?" Felix cried, "Leave me the fuck alone! Leave us the fuck alone! Leave my family the fuck alone! Christ! Please, stop!"
"We need to talk!" Ollie now approached Felix, making him back up into the statue.
"We can't - we can't, are you fucking crazy? Haven't you ruined enough!?"
"Me!?" He snarled. "I didn't ruin shit, it was her! It was all her, don't you see? You pitied us against each other, I had to do this! For you! You can't just throw me away!"
Felix lost his temper, shoving Oliver again, "Get the fuck away from me! I can! I can and I will throw you away - for her! I'd do anything for her, don't you fucking get that!? I didn't see before, but now I do, the slimy, scum you are - and I'd throw you away a hundred times if it meant being with her! Fuck out of here, leave us alone!"
Oliver shouted as he grabbed Felix's shirt, "Look, I just gave you what you wanted!" His voice lowered to a quiver, "Like everyone else does. Everyone puts on a show for Felix! So, I'm sorry that my - m-m-my performance wasn't good enough, like Y/N's always is."
You crept from the shadows, neither lad noticing; intrigued by the words being slurred, shouted, and weaponized.
"I think... I think you need to see somebody," Felix whispered, not willing to admit aloud that Oliver was scaring him. "You need help, okay? Seriously."
"No. No, I don't," Ollie sneered - sounding almost sober. "I just need you to understand how much I fucking love you."
And there it was - another confession. Your heart (or whatever was left of it) felt heavy, like it was being constricted and anchored to your feet.
Felix whispered, "I love Y/N, mate, you have to know - wasn't exactly a huge secret, except to us. To her and I, not you and I, Ollie."
You felt something akin to shock spark in your gut, blooming an unknown warmth through your body.
Oliver begged, "You're the only friend I ever had, Felix." His thumbs pet Felix's face despite him trying to wriggle away; being touched by the psychotic liar terrifying him - but no more than the feeling of dread he had watching you stumble away. "Okay... I mean, doesn't this just prove how much - how much of a good friend I actually am? How well I actually know you? I'm still the same person! Yeah?" He whimpered, "I'm still the same person."
"I don't know what you are," Felix whispered in reply. "But I do know you," he paused, confessing, "you make my fucking blood run cold." His head shook, "I know friendship - and it's not this, Ollie, it's not built on lies and deception. Y/N? She's everything to me, mate, and you tried to ruin that. You're a fucking liar, Ollie."
He gagged a little, releasing Felix to stare at him with a sense of defeat. Oliver gagged again, shoving the opened champagne to Felix's chest, muttering, "Wait there a sec," before stepping away to throw up on the opposite side of the statue. He knew the other boy wouldn't be able to resist an open bottle of alcohol.
However, Felix felt it was his opening to escape, and when he looked up, he caught sight of you.
Your finger rose to your lips in a silencing motion, glancing at a puking Oliver, and Felix didn't hesitate to drop the bottle and race for you. When his hands smoothed over either of your cheeks, he checked behind him - seeing Ollie still at a distance - stooping to scoop you in his arms, whispering, "We have to go, love, fucking now."
You agreed and let him rush away into the maze, and before you could exit, Oliver was heard bellowing, "FELIX!"
"What the fuck was all that?" You asked, hiding yourself in his neck; neither caring for the blood being stained.
"I'll explain everything in a minute, love, let me get you somewhere safe," he rushed, the party sounding around you once more. He deflected anyone who got in the way, shoulders bullying past people, ignoring his name being cried out. Up the stairs, down a hall or two, and he was rounding into your room. "All right, hang on," he deposited you on your bed, rushing into your restroom and locking all the doors except the one connecting your room. The main door was also locked.
"What's going on?" You asked.
"He's a liar," Felix panted, wrangling from his wings as he approached you. "But it doesn't matter right now - what matters is our truth. You were interrupted before, but I have to tell you, sweetheart, that your affection isn't one-sided. Okay?" He knelt before you, taking both cheeks in hand. "You're not alone in this, I-I should've told you so much sooner, but I love you, too. No, no, I'm - I'm in love with you and I'm so sorry I didn't say it. Hear me? I'm in love with you, Y/N, I'm so sorry I was selfish, that I didn't see the pain you were in that I was causing."
"Wasn't your fault," you whispered.
"It's all my fault."
"I should've said something, too."
"You're the one who's been suffering all this time, this is on me. Okay?" His head shook, wiping the streams of blood from your nose and lips. "You're a fucking wreck, darling, should've said something so much sooner - saved you from all this pain."
"I was afraid, and didn't want you to know."
"I made you feel as if you couldn't talk to me," his head shook. "Listen to me, I-I have to go warn Mum and Dad about Oliver, but you stay here - "
"You're not leaving," you insisted. "Call Venetia's cell or Farleigh's, tell them whatever you're worried about, and stay here, with me, where you're safe. I don't know what I heard, but I don't think Ollie's well in the head and he's gonna gun for you."
He sighed, "They won't answer. The party's - "
"Just try..."
He agreed and grabbed his cell phone from his pocket, dialing his sister as he got you a wet cloth. She answered when he was knelt in front of you again, wiping the remnants of your near-death experience from your face as he explained at a rapid speed a condensed version of events.
When Venetia assured she would tell Elspeth and James, he hung up and brought you in for a tight hug. "Should've told you," he whispered, "I'm so sorry."
"I am, too," you whimpered, holding onto his neck tightly.
"C'mon," he sighed, pulling back to gaze at you, "let's get you changed and in bed - 's been a fucking nightmare tonight."
"How fitting."
"How so?"
You half-smirked, "A Midsummer Nightmare's Dream, innit?" He matched your fleeting amusement.
That night, you and Felix slept beside each other in a secure and locked room; both unconscious when Oliver approached your door and tried to get in before being apprehended by two footmen. He was locked in the basement for the night, given the chance to sober up before morning, when the police would be phoned.
When the sun broke the horizon, Felix woke with a start. You were already awake, looking up at his pale face, begging him to tell you the truth behind Oliver. He looked as if he would be sick, giving you a detailed summary of what happened the day before - all the lies Ollie told, how his parents were alive, well, and very kind. How nothing he's told Felix was true - all some form of fucked up lie to make him seem more broken for Felix's endearment.
"Am I that bad, love?" He asked in a hushed tone.
"No, you're just... You just have an affinity for broken things," you answered. "And he gave you what you wanted, tenfold."
"I feel so stupid."
"For being kind?" You shook your head, caressing his cheek.
"Not very kind t'let you suffer in silence, was it?"
"You couldn't have known how bad it all was, I wasn't exactly truthful either."
"You protected yourself, while Ollie... Ollie put on a fucking show to get attention, to seem so different, make me feel like I'd be a fool to ignore him," he scoffed. "I'm so sorry, love," he whispered, resting his forehead against yours. "But I meant what I said - you're fucking everything to me and I'd throw everyone away if it meant being with you - keeping you."
It felt so good to assure him, "You have me, Felix. 'M not goin' anywhere."
He smiled gently, sighing in relief, asking, "Can I kiss you now? Please, love, think we've waited plenty long enough."
You didn't answer, you only lifted you lips to his and sealed your fate - meshing into one heart, soul, and one being. Two halves, made whole; cut from the same cloth and stitched together. His tongue swept across the seam of your lips, mingling with yours and never knowing when he had felt so complete while kissing a woman.
Because he hadn't. Everyone else before you was a place holder, temporary, a fleeting interest. You were a part of him, never wanting to experience life without the other, but as the house slowly woke up, you were both reminded of reality...
There was still a madman to be dealt with, and Felix wanted a front row viewing to ensure Oliver Quick was truly gone and your lives in a relationship could finally start.
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requesting rules and masterlist
Saltburn masterlist
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other Hanahaki Disease fics:
featuring: Eddie Munson from Stranger Things
Cherry Blossom Colored Kisses
Tears in the Rain
Gone with the Sin
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