you know the amazing genre of absolutely fucked up hedgehog cakes. like the most insane nightmare fuel you can imagine. well, my mom has been making a cake and saying she will decorate it like a hedgehog. so obviously i decided to show her some of the images bc theyre objectively the funniest shit on the internet. she loved it.
this is what was waiting for me the next day when i came back from work:
SHE MADE HER OWN FUCKED UP HEDGEHOG CAKE. and she was so sad she had to improvise with the nuts for decorating like "damn clown, i wish i had some of those sugar teeth decorations so itd look more messed up :(" like no, mom, its. its perfect
A three-panel comic with two characters. First is the protagonist of Slay the Princess, a humanoid bird person whose only defining features are a ragged mouth, two glowing white eys, and ear-tufts. The second is a therapist, a human person with pale skin, curly hair, big glasses, and a tartan shirt with a collar. The comic is almost entirely a warm monochrome, save for some orange in the second panel.
The first panel is viewed over the shoulder of the therapist, who is holding a clipboard with notes on it that read as follows:
Quiet, Long
- bird man??
- look up parrot stress behaviors.
The protagonist laying on his back on a couch, wings akimbo. He is holding up his hands and gesturing as he speaks. The setup is extremely stereotypical therapy. The dialogue reads:
Therapist: And how did that make you feel?
Protagonist: Everything at once, yet nothing at all, a wave of collapsed probabilities still washing ashore.
Therapist: So you're… confused?
The second panel depicts the protagonist looking at the viewer. He is haloed by a newborn planet, orange lava glowing in the cracks of its surface. He says, "I mean it literally. At this very moment and all the moments before and all the moments that ever will be, we are speaking through infinite spiraling thoughts. I am a fractal brought breath, my patterns repeating such that size does not matter, infinitesimal and astronomical by the same measure."
The third panel is a close-up of the therapist's face. They are looking at their clipboard, which has a page flipped up, with wide eyes and a pinched mouth. They say "I see." A thought bubble off to their side reads "They did NOT cover this in therapy class."
I hate it when people make the DC characters feel scared of Phantom. Or when they make them freak out over how crazy his life is
Most of the characters would just go “Oh a Ghost King! That's cool” and either attack, befriend or ignore
They always write Dick to be the responsible one when he's not. If he saw this child he wouldn't go “Omg he's so young!!! Poor baby!!!” he'd go “Oh god no please don't let B see this one” and then “Hey this one's kind of fucked up. I'm going to keep it for a while to see what happens wish me luck🤞”
Or when they make the JL freak out about him. Guys, Flash is able to break reality, time travel, destroy the multiverse and more. If he finds out Danny is Dick's clone or something he'd go “again? How many clones are there?” and just vibe with it
Danny would be so happy to find people who just don't give a shit about how weird he is. He only has his friends and sister and they're just. Three people. This boy needs mental help and everyone freaking out about him isn't helping. He's just vibing with his new also overpowered friends
“Yeah so I'm half dead. I was killed by a ghost portal that opened right where I was, and instead of actually killing me it brought me back to life. I'm a ghost possessing its own body. Sometimes if I feel too weak I'll look the way I looked when I died — with my chest half open and my eyes bleeding. My blood is green. I will probably see everyone I love die. Wild, right?”
“Oh yeah! I've got my own experience with dying. It sucks, man. It's funny for the fastest man alive to not have been able to outrun death lmao. Speedsters also age really weirdly. I'm a married adult with two children but I look like I'm 18. But then later I look like I'm 30. And then 20. And then 40. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll look into the mirror and won't recognize who I see haha”
“Talking about body horror! I don't know if I'm the real me. I've created so many mes (the scout thingies) that I can't tell if I'm the original one or not. Maybe I died, and I'm the only thing that remains of me, and I would never be able to tell. I could be being tortured right at this moment. I could be trapped in the speedforce. And no one would ever know because I'm right here, but if I'm not me then they'd live with an imposter by their side”
“Ahh, body horror. My old friend”
(they're all on the verge of a panic attack)
Danny, glowing with a green light at 3am in the kitchen: Hey what the fuck are you doing here
Green Lantern, also glowing with a green light: I live here you fuck