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#Some of these are in character lol
alynnl · 2 years
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Incorrect Quotes
Tagged by @thepotatowriter
Thanks, this was gold!
Featuring: the Fellowship of Orsterra!  (Olberic, Cyrus, Alfyn and Therion)
Quotes from here below the cut!
1-Person Quotes:
Alfyn: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.
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Therion: I didn’t even realize how sarcastic I was being. It’s starting to become a problem, I think.
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Olberic: A fistfight CAN be romantic.
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Cyrus: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.
2-Person Quotes:
Cyrus: We should normalize not loving family members. 
Alfyn: You can just say: “I hate my dumb fuck uncle” or whatever. Talk like a normal person!
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Olberic: Do you have any idea what you’re doing? 
Alfyn: Why start now?
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Cyrus: Okay, if we can't do it by sheer force, we'll do it my way. 
Olberic: But your way is sheer force!
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Cyrus: *shatters a window and climbs through it* 
Cyrus: *turns around and helps Therion through it* Breaking and entering is wrong,Therion.
Therion: Okay.
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Cyrus: Life could be worse, Alfyn. 
Alfyn: Life could be a lot better too!
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Olberic, texting Alfyn: *sends a voice message* 
Alfyn, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent? 
Olberic: No, don’t worry, just listen later. 
*later* 
Alfyn: *presses play* 
Olberic's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-
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Cyrus: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship. 
Alfyn: We’re not friends. 
Cyrus, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.
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Cyrus: *runs up to doors* 
Cyrus: Be careful, Olberic! These doors say "Blast Danger"!
3-Person Quotes:
Alfyn: *double checking supplies in the boat* Compass. CB radio. Sunscreen. 
Olberic: Hot dog costumes! 
Alfyn: I’m sorry, what? 
Olberic: You know, in case we get lost at sea, and one of us, probably Therion, goes mad with hunger, we’ll put these on. Therion hates hot dogs, so they probably won’t eat us. 
Alfyn: Are you saying that Therion would rather eat us than hot dogs? 
Therion: I do hate hot dogs.
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Alfyn: I dare you- 
Cyrus : Therion is not allowed to accept dares anymore. 
Alfyn: Why not? 
Therion: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.
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Alfyn: Why were you up yesterday until 3am? 
Therion: How did you know I was up until 3am? 
Cyrus: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.
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Alfyn: I hate to tell you this, but one of you was adopted. 
Olberic & Cyrus: 
Olberic: Only one...?
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Olberic: Therion has never seen Star Wars? Cyrus, the only people in the universe who haven’t seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that’s cause they lived them, Cyrus! That’s cause they lived the Star Wars!
4-Person Quotes:
Alfyn: What’s up with Cyrus? They’ve been laying on the floor for like….an hour now? 
Therion: They're just a little overwhelmed. 
Alfyn: Why? 
Therion: Olberic smiled at them.
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Therion: It’s time to turn this into a real business. 
Alfyn: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes? 
Olberic: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes? 
Cyrus: I handle our accounting.
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Therion: We need a way to lure in new customers? 
Olberic: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events! 
Alfyn: Cyrus bath water. 
Cyrus: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
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Therion: Shh, here comes Alfyn! 
Olberic: Quick, Cyrus, start talking about boring nerd stuff! 
Cyrus: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word “nerd” derogatorily, it means you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist. 
Olberic: Yes, that’s perfect. Just like that.
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Alfyn: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems. 
Cyrus: Weight loss? Drink water. 
Olberic: Clear skin? Drink water. 
Therion: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.
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Alfyn: We need to distract these guys. 
Cyrus: Leave it to me. 
Cyrus: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. 
Olberic & Therion: *immediately begin arguing*
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Therion: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? 
Cyrus: *crouches down* 
Olberic: *kneels down* 
Alfyn: *sits on the floor* 
Therion: 
Therion: I hate all of you.
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Alfyn: That's ridiculous, Therion doesn't have a crush on me. 
Olberic: Yes they do. 
Cyrus: Yes they do. 
Therion: Yes I do.
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Cyrus: Made you all playlists! 
Cyrus: Olberic, yours has only heavy metal, and is dark like your soul. 
Cyrus: Therion, yours has sad songs and blues to pair with your crippling depression. 
Cyrus: And Alfyn has the ABBA Gold album.
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Olberic: We might have gotten into a bar room brawl back in the city. 
Cyrus: Well, that was entirely predictable. 
Olberic: One of them punched a gang member. 
Cyrus: Alfyn? 
Olberic: Therion, actually. 
Cyrus: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.
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Alfyn: How is the most beautiful person in the world? 
Therion: *blushing* I— 
Olberic, butting into the conversation: Cyrus is perfect, thanks for asking.
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Cyrus: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? 
Therion: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. 
Cyrus: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. 
Therion: But I heard a siren. 
Olberic: That was Alfyn. 
Alfyn: Sorry, I got nervous.
Not tagging anyone, but you can click the link if you want to have some fun with your faves!
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