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pleaseletmecomehome · 5 months

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12/05/23 (Just An Entry or Call to the Void I suppose...)

I honestly meant everything I said in the "An Effort at An Pleading" post. I'm trying to make fun of anyone or draw attention away from current events.

I am only trying to fufill the role God has put in front of me. I am meant to try and try and try until either death, destruction, or recieving of stigmata. I'm not a freak--I'm not an idiot--I'm not some deranged mad person roaming the internet--I'm not playing an ARG--I'm not high on weed or any other drug. I'm not being a dick in any way--I'm just asking for prayers/worship/offerings and whatever else you can offer up to God through whichever way you worship so that I can recieve my stigmata and orders on what I am suppose to be doing next.

I don't want money--I don't want to start a cult (as some people seem to think)--I just need a little help with spiritual stuff; I mean if you don't want to do it, I mean it's whatever--just don't. People who know what I mean know what I mean and while I apperciate everyone who is concerned about my mental wellbeing, please consider this--I'm not threatening to hurt myself or anyone else--I'm just asking for a little spirtual help. I am safe. I am okay. And I know that this is what God wants me to do.

I am incredibly worried about the state of the world, the cosmos, and whatever else God wants me to be concerned with--I'm not the important person here--I am a servant of someone else; someone good, holy, and set apart--I do this for His benefit, even if He speaks in riddles and confusing signs; I know that I am to figure it out and I am to work the puzzle; so please--if you want to help me, help me.

Send prayers. Send vibes. Send worship. Whatever--just towards God and let what must be be. Everything will work out if I can succeed. I know its scary, everything going on in the world, but we are all just a small part--I know things can change. I just have to see--I just have to recieve more instructions.

Thanks

--D'ARC

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the-silver-chronicles · 4 months

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WIP Wednesday + My OC as... & What Faerie Court Does Your OC Belong To? & What Does Your Soul Look Like?

Tagged by @g0dspeeed @voidika @socially-awkward-skeleton @deputy-morgan-malone @direwombat @adelaidedrubman and @onehornedbeast

Tagging @shallow-gravy @inafieldofdaisies @strangefable @strafethesesinners @josephslittledeputy @minilev @chazz-anova @cassietrn @snake-in-the-garden @corvosattano @ec-10 @deputyash @derelictheretic @henbased @jacobmybeloved @ladyoriza @nightbloodbix @vampireninjabunnies-blog @neverthesameneveranother @wrathfulrook @carlosoliveiraa @thewanderer-000 @softtidesworld @josephseedismyfather @skoll-sun-eater @vasiktomis and @afarcryfrommymain + anyone else who wants to join.

One WIP, two quizzes and a sharing visual stuff of Silva with the My OC as.... Here's the "What Faerie Court does your OC belong to?" Quiz and the "What does Does Your Soul Look Like?" Quiz.

Here's the WIP of that unnamed "Arranged Marriage" AU, with Silva agonizing over her life so far (after a shower no less) as she waits for Faith to come back with a dreadful wedding dress. Snippet below:

[Silva's] head in gloved hands, she fought the urge to grab a fistful of dark hair and rip it out. To scream and curse... at what? God? Her father? Joseph and the prophets before him who were too cowardly and self-absorbed in their own dead delusions to even try not to fuck someone's life over for once?

Or would she curse herself? For agreeing to this arrangement, despite how much she hates it? For hurting others with her very presence, being forced to wander in their vision even after taking the lives of loved ones, whose blood has since been washed off, but not the scars and lesions that are scattered over her damaged hands, a reminder of the lives she took? Curse herself for not putting her own needs, her desires, her hopes and dreams before others, just as Kamski insisted she do?

Silva didn't know. She didn't know what to do anymore. It was far beyond what she initially knew. Far from what she was taught in the Minas. Eden's Gate wasn't like Father's battalions of Enforcers, cruel and deplorable in their mission, nor were they like the Apostles, teaching malevolence and hidden in shadows.

Eden's Gate had a mission, one with the best of intentions, but were spreading terror in their methods, even if they seemed a bit remorseful, which doesn't change the fact they have ruined lives indefinitely, nor excuse the recruitment of psychopaths like the Cook.

It was uncanny just how much qualities about the Project that she could despise and how much she could differentiate it from the likes of her father's Enforcers. It didn't make it any better that Joseph and John seemed genuine in their desire to have her as apart of the family, even when her gut argues that it's nothing more than a ploy, a deception, with her stomach coiling in agreement, the very reminder that she'd be married to Jacob in the coming weeks making her nauseous again.

Despite the personal cost of her freedom, she had to do it, especially if it meant peace for the Resistance and the freedom of Hudson and Pratt... and Burke as well she guessed. She could also breath a little easier with the knowledge that she had forced Joseph to acknowledge that this marriage was, at best, a tactical ploy for peace, more-or-less, and convinced him to give not only his word that Jacob would not try anything of harmful or sexual nature towards her, but also had him forbid his older brother as "the Father" from even thinking to do such acts, or else she would not agree to anything more.

Silva knew from experience that a profeta's word was as reliable as a rickety old bridge worn down from age, but if he backed out on any of the agreements, not only would he face backlash from herself and the Resistance, but most likely a few of his own people as well.

It still didn't change the fact she was a prisoner here both presently and with the reminders of how guilty her own conscience really is.

She gave the Resistance a standing chance for freedom, however that is going, even if it meant she was restricted in her own.

Jannah, Elsa would be so disappointed in me. Worse then disappointed probably. She'd return from the ashes if she could, and then go on to berate Silva of not only her martyr tendencies, but also give her an earful for all the times Silva had told Elsa to keep track of her own well-being while being mindful of others.

How hypocritical of me.

Does that make me closer to Father than it does Paul now?

Silva wasn't sure how to answer that, but she couldn't blink the welling tears away, no matter how much ferocity she put in.

Here I am... on a bed in Faith's Gate... a prison in all but name, surrounded by people I have hurt in more ways than one... crying to myself... as I can do nothing for my friends and neighbours who I can't even communicate with, no less hear from... all the while I'm waiting on Faith to get me whatever wretched wedding dress the Seeds had stolen to have me wear... while in nothing but my undergarments and the thinnest bathrobe.

It may not be as rock bottom as walking in a blizzard barefoot in a shitty dress at 10-years-old while Enforcers searched for her across the bridge to the Minas, or sailing on a boat with little supplies, taking care of an infant barely two weeks old, and tending to an injured hermana after escaping a successful massacre on the one community she thought truly understood her. Nor was it like the day she returned to the county, into her resident home, without her hija in hand to carry to bed, and as if to kick her further, find out the legacy Elsa wanted to leave behind in the form of her floristry had been stolen away during Silva's absence. But it was still suffocating, and she couldn't help but mourn for the normalcy she almost regained.

Here's the results for the "What Faerie Court Does Your OC Belong To?" Quiz.

Elsa Omar (Far Cry The Silver Chronicles, The Harbinger's Salvation AU)

Yeah this describes Elsa. She generally doesn't take in account the feelings of others in canon nor in this AU. Elsa is very selfish, and only cares for the people closest in her family circle (mainly Silva, Persephone, & Ezekiel + Azriel and Mercy if she got to meet them), everyone else is a pawn to use and abuse for whatever means necessary, especially in The Harbinger's Salvation AU, where her older sister is under the control of the Apostles of Zachariah. Elsa is narcissistic and vain, as well as a compulsive liar to majority of people to boot. She has no problem enacting on every vice (smoking, drinking, screwing, etc) without shame, even if it is detrimental to her overall health and social apathy. Credit where credit is due, she's achieved sleeping with nearly everyone in the county, something even Adelaide hadn't achieved. But its the fact she's careless of everyone's feelings and also gives zero fucks about looking through peoples things to see what she can use for blackmail. She's absolutely NOT a good person, it just happens to be that her goals are either beneficial to others (her work with the Resistance in the AU even if she's not in it for their fight but more so her sisters' safety, having gathered enough evidence of Eden's Gate' crimes to send Joseph to prison for life to protect Silva and Persephone, etc) or even she has morals or ideals she wouldn't cross/adopt (absolutely knows for certain that Adam's Guard is not safe nor should be left to exist, wouldn't join the Apostles because of their habits to bring terror and death to others, and wouldn't join Eden's Gate because they restrict peoples' freedoms in what they want to do for their lives besides devote it to God which would be a very unhappy place for Silva and Azriel, etc) even if those are because it goes against her self-interests. Elsa is willing to take massive risks, which though can be dangerous, she's always confident of the rewards it brings. And just because her bones are brittle doesn't mean she's not willing to go down rough and dirty to win.

Now for the "What does your soul look like?" Quiz.

Azriel (Far Cry The Silver Chronicles, Wings And Horns original work)

I mean this pretty much describes Azriel. Neglected by her parents and then was almost killed by them as they tried to sacrifice her to prove themselves worthy of staying in Eden's Gate, was always shunned for her interests in technology and invention from within the project did not help her mentally. Nor did the isolation. Afraid everyone is out to get her, this 9-year-old puts up a ferocious front in order to at least look the part of scary. Which offputs people from her or undermine her with sympathy she doesn't understand nor want. She feels as if no one wants her, nor do they want to understand her, choosing how she should live her life. Well, at least until she meets Silva in a chance encounter that changes the fate of the county and Silva's role in the Reaping and the Collapse. The first time the Voice felt fear that day. And it wouldn't be the last time either.

Now for the "My OC as..." stuff. I tried to find a faceclaim that I thought was true to Silva. (RANT: I had to go to f***ing Quora for this. And I hate Quora with a burning passion. I still receive their emails to this day. No I don't want to know how to make a Spinach cake, I'm not interested in the quantum physics of a blackhole and no I don't want to be involved in the debate on whether its criminal to leave the toilet seat up, IT IS, debate over!). Anyway Silva's current faceclaim for the time being (or indefinite if I feel that "do you know what, this person is right for Silva") is actress Mina El Hammani. In order to use and create this template I used this trustworthy meme generator, who never disappoints me (unlike Quora).

Maybe I should make one of Paul one day. That would be interesting dissecting him like this.

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williammarksommer · 1 year

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Salvation Mountain

California

All The Time In The World

Hasselblad 500c/m

Kodak Ektar 100iso

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officialyourdailyinspiration · 7 months

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We Preach Christ Crucified

22 For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom; 23 But we proclaim Christ crucified. To the Jews it is a cause of offense, and to the Greeks it is foolishness; 24 But to those who are called--both Jews and Greeks--Christ is God's power and God's wisdom — 1 Corinthians 1:22-24 | A Faithful Version (AFV) Holy Bible, A Faithful Version © 2020 A Faithful Version. All Rights Reserved. Cross References: 1 Kings 13:3; Proverbs 8:1; Matthew 12:38; Luke 2:34; Luke 11:49; John 4:48; Romans 1:7; Romans 1:16; Romans 8:28; 1 Corinthians 1:18; 1 Corinthians 1:21; 1 Corinthians 1:30; 1 Corinthians 2:2; 1 Corinthians 2:14; 1 Corinthians 4:10; Galatians 3:1

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hallwyeoo · 1 year

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I think it’s really interesting that Luo Binghe is a person who’s always been hungry, even if not in the technical sense.

It makes sense. His mom became the one person who treated him kindly, who seemed to *love* him in a world that rejected him at every turn. She was the proof for him that the world was good, that he could be loved. After her death, he’s left reeling and grasping to the things that tie him to her (food, his pendant, the things she taught him). He heads to CQMS and proceeds to be abused, bullied, and further rejected by the people society deemed to be Pillars of Justice and Good. Shen Yuan is the big change here- Binghe being given true affection before the abyss is the largest factor in how he ends up (in contrast to Bingge)

#svsss #luo binghe #mxtx svsss #text post #bingqiu #shen yuan #mxtx #shen qingqiu #bingyuan #scumbag self saving system #luo bingge #I am on my love of the wolf shit AGAIN #Helene cixous you have given me salvation #‘I urge you: bite me. sign my death with your teeth’ I am LOSING IT #‘What is this moment called when we suddenly recognize what we have never seen? And which gives us a joy like a wound?’ HELENE YOU MADLAD #it’s soooooo binghe. both bingmei and bingge #luo bingmei #meta #character analysis #love of the wolf #helene cixous #stigmata #my favourite type of character is one who faces so so so much and comes out of it empty and grasping at anything that can fill them #Bingmei had his ideas about love reinforced by Shen yuan who is arguably a bit insane about him #while bingge had his negative ideas reinforced #so for him power control influence and quantity good #and vulnerability openness and discomfort (especially in an emotional sense) bad #and that if he’s adored and has all these loyal wives and ultimate power and control no one can hurt him again #and that it’ll fill the void and he’ll heal because he’s in a position where no one can take advantage of him #but really he just isolates himself and perpetuates the cycle of abuse

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heavensorhells · 11 months

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𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧, there will be no miracles here.

#dead man's town.#the sinclair sisters.#more muses #tbd.#think abandoned buildings / unsolved cases / signs proclaiming the end of the world / urban legends / seeking salvation #edits.#still a wip but if anyone wants to worldbuild.. <3

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ivan-fyodorovich-k · 1 year

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it’s been interesting over the course of my lifetime watch the AR-15 transition from “kind of a piece of shit” into whatever the hell guys think it is now

Like I remember in high school hearing stories from guys who’d come back from Iraq and Afghanistan about how the M16 kind of sucked and the “Mattel Rifle” was still kind of a proto-meme

I suspect as I’ve said in the past that a lot of the AR’s rehabilitation has to do with the expiration of the Assault Weapons Ban and the explosion of the civilian AR market as part of the larger trend of gobs of money being thrown at the platform. It also has the significant luxury of having no meaningful competition in its class in the largest civilian firearm market in the world by far, the only thing close to an alternative being the odd AK here and there.

What is also interesting, though, is to see the retrospective revision of the original M16 family’s reputation in 1960s during Vietnam. In the collective memory it has passed from a sign of the woeful carelessness of the military industrial complex into essentially a miracle weapon hand-delivered by Christ to replace the M14, which itself has become the object of a rather curious amount of withering contempt

The gun community, I suppose like all terminally online communities, is only capable of supporting either absolute worship or uncompromising hatred

#you do get a couple years of 'maybe we're too hard on ____' and 'guys are a little too sweet on ____'#a sure sign something is on the path towards salvation or perdition in the hive mind's moral universe #can't really imagine the AR being unseated at this point though

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hoochieblues · 11 months

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Céline et Julie vont en bateau: Phantom Ladies Over Paris (1974) dir. Jacques Rivette

#i'm fine i just need to talk to someone about this film #i also love the woman in the floral dress (bottom right) who is clearly having some opinions about this motherfucking improv #it's 3hrs+ of sapphic coded narrative haunting reality bending deconstruction time loops + the existential horror of contemporary society #and then lines like this. i know i'm missing wordplay but i can't keep up enough w/o subtitles to catch idioms. but. kinda like it that way #'impossible! the mere sight of a fish gives me amnesia!' is another fave #movies #jacques rivette #celine et julie vont en bateau #celine and julie go boating #i apologise in advance but i guess i'm entering my rivette phase now #'cinema should be - if not an ordeal - then at least an experience'#my dude. you knocked it out of the park.#no really #i've had to do a week's worth of work in one night bc The Crises and i put this on to help keep going before my brain fell out.#and i loved it. like. i haven't been so excited about a film since i got briefly obsessed with the hourglass sanatorium #the kid is literally named madlyn. it's like having a giant neon sign that says 'hey proust kiss my ass' as the girls reconstruct #the narrative and change melodrama into farce. shift the ending and annul the pain. theater as alchemy. friendship and love as alchemy.#as change/mechanisms for salvation. i decided this week one thing i wanna do in my life is see the maritime museum/rocca al mare in tallinn #another is going to be showing this to someone who'll like it.#there are probably dozens of us out there. dozens.

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oldshowbiz · 10 months

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Salvation Army Harbour Light Detox Unit

#salvation army #sign geeks #flophouse #neon

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shredsandpatches · 9 months

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probably shouldn't be reading about Doctor Faustus and religious trauma at 1 am but here's some good quotes: the top one is from top from Mark James Richard Scott, "'That’s hard': Christopher Marlowe’s Doctor Faustus and the Trauma of Reprobation" (Early Theatre 23.2, 9-20) and the bottom one is from David Bevington's intro to the play in the Norton Anthology of Renaissance Drama.

#doctor faustus #hot faust summer #i studied the play with bevington as a spiritually struggling 22-year-old #his empathetic approach to it was really meaningful to me #the scott article basically argues #marlowe's play seems to be set in a calvinist universe but from the perspective that that sucks #and that maybe some people just being left out of salvation makes sense from the perspective of god #but makes no sense at all on the ground #so the other point is that the play offered people an opportunity to sort of confront their own doubts in a safe environment #marlowe's faustus doesn't really do much that's all that bad in terms of his interactions with the world #it's entirely about his lack of faith #he doesn't have it because he was never given the capacity for it #(contends this piece anyway)#like he's absolutely an arrogant shit with a juvenile sense of humor but #his desire for power is much more expansive than the things he actually does with it when he has it #he does not create the level of collateral damage that goethe's does #and the feeling of 'what if my emptiness and lack of faith is a sign that god has rejected me before i was even born' is sheer horror #and one i have experienced #anyway i get you johann buddy

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penmanshipeb · 4 months

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North Korea is into it with South Korea. The US is involved with that.

China and Taiwan are at odds and on the edge of war. The US is involved with that.

There's trouble in the middle east with this Israel and Hamas war. The US is involved in that.

Russia and Ukraine are yet at war. The US is involved in that. In fact, the US's role in the Russia and Ukraine conflict has given much fuel to BRICS' (Brazil Russia India China South Africa) dedollarisation international campaign.

It's so much that can further be said, even the fallen, backslidden state of the Church all adds to the signs of the time. The world is heading towards a new horizon that won't be sunny.

Just as John the Baptist was given to go before the Savior to "make his paths straight," the same has strongly been taking place to precede "the man of sin" that is to come upon the world stage. There is a strong antiChrist spirit within both the world and right in the midst of Churches today. . . When we're caught up with the lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, or pride of life, we're oblivious to all the signs, sirens, and warnings that alarm to cause us to be prepared or flee because we're either not sober spiritually or spiritually in darkness. So much more can be said. If there ever was a time to get serious about God, nowd the time. Don't further put him off. 🙏

You get ready for war in a time of peace, and the warfare in this sense is spiritual . . . Be alarmed

📜‭‭Matthew‬ ‭24:3‭-‬6‬

[3] Now as He sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be? And what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?” [4] And Jesus answered and said to them: “Take heed that no one deceives you. [5] For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will deceive many. [6] And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.

📜‭‭II Thessalonians‬ ‭2:3‭-‬4‬, 7-11

[3] Let no one deceive you by any means; for that Day will not come unless the falling away comes first, and the man of sin is revealed, the son of perdition, [4] who opposes and exalts himself above all that is called God or that is worshiped, so that he sits as God in the temple of God, showing himself that he is God.

[7] For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work; only He who now restrains will do so until He is taken out of the way. [8] And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord will consume with the breath of His mouth and destroy with the brightness of His coming. [9] The coming of the lawless one is according to the working of Satan, with all power, signs, and lying wonders, [10] and with all unrighteous deception among those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth, that they might be saved. [11] And for this reason God will send them strong delusion, that they should believe the lie, [12] that they all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.

📜‭‭II Timothy‬ ‭3:12‭-‬13‬

[12] Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. [13] But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived

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cocotome · 3 months

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youtube

It's official!! We're getting Error Salvation Epic: Lycoris I'm the West from Aksys!!! This means more Lucas, Asolphe and Mathis!!!!

#feb 2024 #youtube #otome #english otome #error salvation #error salvation epiclycoris #sign me up for more misery #this better have more happy moments #than the first one #lucas deserves to be happy #don't play with me

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unopenablebox · 3 months

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tfw an ellis peters book has not one, but two, and perhaps as many as three, noble and well-meaning but ill-used men who have taken up false names and identities, and subsequently come to seek shelter, comfort, and resolve in the neighborhood of the abbey

#now obviously hyacinth was bard but if rafe isn't renaud bouchier i'll eat my hat #the hermit also gives every sign of being a Disguised Guy (noble profile revealed from the hood to viewer and reader in the same moment;#narratively positioned so we suspect him of the murder‚ tho i'm still waiting to see if that comes up again early enough that he def isn't #the murderer;#and so on) but i don't THINK anyone has an obvious mysterious father dead in the crusades going spare in this one #so either the hermit is renaud and rafe is actually the guy hunting him after he abandoned his post in cowardly fashion #or the hermit is a different guy whose hints i haven't received yet #or that rare creature. the red herring-hermit. beloved of the salvation-seeking fisherman #box opener #bookbox #Scholars Reveal 12th-Century Shropshire Abbey True Birthplace of Fingerprinting‚ Retinal Scans‚ Identification Cards #''I'm Fucking Sick Of These Noble Irrepressible Wrongly Dispossessed Young Heirs Coming Among Us Disguised As Penitents''‚#Abbot Reportedly Said

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williammarksommer · 1 year

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Salvation Mountain

California

All The Time In The World

Hasselblad 500c/m

Kodak Ektar 100iso

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subjectsix · 7 months

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A splendid WIP list! Who is the old friend Dylan is looking for? Who is Justo and why are they your favorite >:]

Gracias, gracias!

Dylan starts chasing answers and things he finds interesting, which coalesce when he starts hearing local rumors and stories about some sort of monster in the greater area where Ordinary was. The more he hears about it, the more he wonders if Neil ever survived....

JUSTO. I could write essays about Justo. Justo only ever appeared in one prequel novel to the not-very-well-received movie Terminator Salvation, and he is in the top 3 when it comes to my favorite Terminator characters. He's so expertly written-- a sergeant in the American military, working with the Mexican military when they watch bombs hit both LA and Mexico City, now living in the ruins of (what was) a fancy place for the LA socialites to live. He tries to keep the people there alive and well, and is equal parts gentle and no-nonsense. The old businessmen that run the place are stupid, and he knows it, but he encourages 16 year old Kyle to talk about them respectfully anyway. He wants to keep Kyle (and 9 year old Star) from what horrors he can but arms them to face them anyway, because its inevitable. He risks his own life and rank to save them both, he cries for them, he lives for them, and ends up being one of the few survivors defending their home (he finds a group of smart kids who holed up somewhere and they all decide to stick with him).

He's humble he's smart he's tired. He'd probably never call Kyle and Star his children (maybe "his kids", in a broad sense), and Kyle would never call him anything other than His Sergeant (he and Justo get made fun of for being 'too paranoid' and their desire to join the Resistance). if he and Star or even Kyle never have a tearful reunion I'll cry. But nobody is ever gonna toy with Terminator Salvation canon again and Mr. Jim Cameron and I have beef anyway so it's my city now.

#time to get the prequel book out and pore over it again #i love books for non-book properties. you get such a unique view of things.#ruminating in heads and thoughts like you cant in other mediums.#waugh. justo....#star would call him dad. that kid has no fear and a thought of thoughts. you wont hear them but she'll sign them or show them. youll know.#eri 223 #terminator salvation #justo orozco #i should write the author of that book fr. one lone justo fan

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