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himbo-buckley · 4 years

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Sex, Intimacy and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics) - Part 4

Ciao, ragazzi,

i bims, die Kriz and I will be your tourguide today. (Yes, we’re on first name basis now, congratulations, kid, ya’ll earned it!)

Okay, so I rewrote this intro like 5 times by now. 3B has been so hard on me in a way that the rest hasn’t been. While I was writing 3A I had so many thoughts and ideas and conclusions from the get go, my main worry was to fit it all in and to make it coherent. And it took me a while to get there with 3B - but don’t worry, my friends, I did not disappoint and it is just as long as part 3, despite Tim Minear personally coming to my home and vibe checking me for saying he had daddy issues. Which is fair, tbh. Sorry bro, I’ll stop calling you out like that. (No, I won’t.)

Also if you need a „quick“ refresher of what happened so far or you just forgot, here are:

part one - part two - part three

And also, the usual spiel:

This meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics

I should also mention that I am a Buddie shipper and while I tried, you will find several references and arguments for the ship in this Meta, not all of which necessarily call for a romantic pairing but just: These two are deeply connected and you cannot look at one without discussing the other and they are each other’s strongest emotional connection.

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney voice* we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something

This Meta will so far have FIVE parts now. The original plan was to do three, one for each Season, and have it organised by episode so you could technically follow along (which is still true), but due to personal reasons, also known as *feelings*, Season 3 had exploded disproportionately and for readability reasons I have split it in three parts - there is part 3 which ends with the Christmas Episode, part 4 which spans what aired of 3B so far and the final part 5 which will include the final and my conclusion, if by then I am able to form thoughts again / still

Alright you guys, drumrolls please: part 4 (also called „*butterfly meme* Is this growth?“)

Episode 3.11:

I wanna be honest with ya’ll, Season 3B is sort of a mixed bag for me, because while yes, all the episodes have been great viewed separately, they just feel so … separate from each other, and with 3A having so many episode-spanning arks, it’s a bit of a letdown to return to the standalone episode format. Especially because it makes the whole two steps forward one step back thing so much more apparent as it feels like what happens in one episode has no consequence for the next. It felt a little like they burned through too much in 3A already and didn’t know where to go from there. Which is also true for me, so maybe I should stop judging.

Anyways, I’ll stop bringing the house down now.

Let’s continue with: Don’t you just love stan-ing two adorable, complicated badass firefighters? Yeah, me too.

Also, I wanna see the Doc again. Tim, can we? He could be friends with Frank? We could see them have tea and talk about those dumbasses at the firehouse? (And also legs, since, you know, Frank only has one?)

And also the bank guy, Harrison was fun. (This whole episode was.)

And I know it has nothing to do with Eddie or Buck or Intimacy or Sex (okay a little with those) but I do wanna point you to that damn meatball scene, because it’s so chaotic? First, why are all the ingredients laid out on the table but Maddie is making balls already only to then cover them in water? Look, I’m basically vegan (haha, how long do you think I’ve waited to shoehorn this in here) and haven’t cooked meat since I was … fourteen, probably? And even to me that just seemed wrong! Not to mention AFTER touching raw meat, Maddie only cleans her hands with a towel before opening the door? You used to be a nurse, Madeleine / Maddison! (Do we know her full name? I feel like we don’t.)

One thing I really love about 3B (so far) is how happy and settled my main man Edmundo Diaz is. It’s in the eyes, you guys! I don’t know if it’s a Ryan thing or a deliberate acting choice but whatever it is it translates well (haha, well, yeah, we’ll talk about that one later) into his character and it really makes you feel like Eddie is so much better. Like for all the analysis of Eddie I’ve been doing, I didn’t notice how much colder he grew since the beginning of Season 2 until this episode came and suckerpunched me with the warmth in his eyes. Good god, proceed with caution! Oliver could call me right now and say „Look, Buddie isn’t real, I just keep getting lost in Ryan’s eyes.“ and I wouldn’t even be mad, I’d just be like „How’d you get this number?“. (It was Tim, wasn’t it? Damn it, we talked about this, mate! I wanna meet his cat, not him!)

The episode doesn’t hold a lot of relevance in terms of this meta (aside from some parallels I’ll talk about in a moment) but I still want to discuss it a little bit because it means a lot to me. I just love Howard „Chimney“ Han with all my heart.

I wanna say something controversial now because we’re 500 words in and I feel like I haven’t made you regret reading my rambling yet, so here is controversial thought of the day #1: All these fucking characters are grey as fuck except Howie. Howie is good to the bone. He is the goodest boy. He is so gentle and sweet and non malicious and yes, I am including Evan in my list of grey characters because he pulled some SHIT! Okay, a little bit of shit. Things have been *implied*! (I don’t even know anymore. Maybe he’s just off-white or something.)

And what’s the worst my best friend Howard „Chimney“ Han has done on this show? Lied to his girlfriend a buncha times so she likes him better? I lie all the time. I just lied to my mother 5 minutes ago (Yes, Mom, I’m working on my thesis.)! And Howie just lied to make someone like him better. That’s not bad, that’s horrible self esteem!

Which brings me to another thing I wanna say because thank you, Jennifer Love Hewitt. If anyone from the cast gets to call me, it’s you, because you clearly had your thinking pants on when you took one look at Chimney and said: I want that one! You a real one and I will name check you on my way to heaven - not, that they’ll let me in, but the thought counts?

Now, lets talk about those parallels I mentioned before:

The Hans vs. the Buckleys.

Now, we still don’t know a lot about Mr. and Mrs. Buckley and what exactly made them bad parents (though I’m firmly team a little neglectful but not abusive) but we know a lot about Mr. Han.

One thing of the bat I wanna mention is that this episode confirms that Maddie at least had a hand in raising Buck - which doesn’t actually have to mean too much, because based on JLHs age, her relationship with Dough and the way their sibling relationship is played it’s safe to assume that Maddie is supposed to be between 5-10 years older than Buck (assuming she started nursing school after High School at around 18 / 19, which I think takes 4 years in the US? And she was an ER nurse for 8 years, making her AT LEAST 30 in Season 2, but considering how she emphasised that Buck noticed something was wrong with Dough even as a teenager and she met Dough at 19, I’m gonna assume Buck was younger then 16 because Dough won’t have shown his abusive tendencies right of the bat, so probably about 12 / 13, making Maddie like 6 years older than him? And since we DO have a definite age for Evan, Maddie is probably around 33 in Season 2 (which also works because they wanted to put her and Eddie in a relationship and Ryan Guzman is in his early 30 as well). And look, as the youngest child of two people I would call more than adequate parents I can tell you: older siblings always have a hand in raising you, especially when the age difference exceeds 4 years. One of my sisters is 5 years older than me and I was more scared of telling her about having a bad grade than I was of my parents, so…

Anyways, back to what is actually happening in the episode and how it both parallels and contrasts the Buckleys and Hans.

Like Maddie and Howie are the older siblings and Buck and Albert are the younger siblings, yet Buck and Howie are paralleled as are Maddie and Albert. Also, Howie resents his brother for the relationship he assumes Albert has with their father, but Maddie recognises that Buck probably had similar experiences growing up as she did. Of course one could argue that Howie and Albert never had a relationship before while Buck and Maddie grew up together, but look, Maddie was in an abusive relationship for quite a while and hadn’t been in contact with her brother for 3 years prior to Season 2 but it’s safe to assume they didn’t have too close of a relationship before that either, or the Buck we know would have gone to Maddie to investigate and find out why she dipped. So…

(Despite all of this, Maddie knew she could come to her brother for help in Season 2 meaning one, our boy is such a good boy always and the Buckleys can’t be all bad if Maddie knows she can count on her brother, meaning she didn’t think her parents screwed him up too much in the time since she moved out and gradually left his life. Just another thought.)

I also love how her firm believe in the strength and meaning of familial relationships triggers a shift in Howie. Please keep this in mind for when we discuss 3.16 in a few minutes, friends.

Also that kitchen scene has all my heart. They really said kitchens are a Buddie thing now, didn’t they? (Also from a non shipper perspective, Maddie and Buck are just the sweetest and for a TV show actually fairly realistic siblings. At least if I compare them to my siblings and I.)

Also in terms of the actually topic of my meta’s: this is our first indicator that Eddie considers the 118 his family. And we have another moment of Chimney seeking reassurance / being open with Eddie. I love that they have a friendship like that. (He was so excited about meeting Chimneys brother as well. A little bit puppy and like another reason why Evan and him are friends. (As if we need more)) Also love that Eddie is secure enough to voice these feelings!

(Eddie really does seem so healed in this episode? So open? And happy? Damn, Frank, you know your shit! My man had some growth.)

Now, for some sidenotes to round off this episode, because I have some and I wanna share them:

On the Buckley parents, I think the episode wants to imply that they had plans for Buck? Maybe career wise? Because in the pool scene he says something along the lines of: „Sometimes you have to put / get a little distance“ and since it’s been implied that Buck is also from Pennsylvania or somewhere close by, we can assume that he was talking about himself here. Like he moved all the way across the continent.

I’m also just gonna throw out a prediction for Season 4: since Nia is only a foster child and like 2 years old, it’s safe to assume that she has been only recently taken in. While I do not know the US-Foster system, I do have some knowledge about the German system, so I’ll just predict that either one or both of the birth parents try to get their child back.

Or they just sort of forget about all of this by Season 4.

And I really really really dislike the cancer storyline and how the show is handling it, at least in this episode, specifically in regards to May, who in my opinion, has been both written and treated by the show as someone younger than 18 here, only for the show to then turn around and go all: wow, such an adult, look how wise she is. So awesome. Like nah, son! 3A has shown that she is much maturer than she was treated in this episode.

And Eddie finally got to say „seen this before“ again. I feel like he says that a lot. Should I start a counter for that too or do ya’ll just wanna think about him naked for a bit? (I know, you guys, I know! Should I befriend someone who can make me a bunch of gifs of shirtless Eddie I can pepper in every time we get to heavy around here?)

Episode 3.12:

Ah, yes, „Fools“! The one episode I have to say I can not look at without wearing my shipper goggles. So be warned.

Which is why I’m gonna start with the elephant in the room: Ana Flores.

Now, I’ve seen (and maybe liked / reblogged / queued / drafted (Idk anymore, I’m up to 600 posts in my drafts, 300 in my queue and like 300 liked / reblogged already)) an interview with Ryan Guzman where he talks about Ana and how he isn’t sure yet wether they are heading for romance and how it needs someone incredibly badass to get through Eddie’s defences, because Eddie is barely over his wife’s death and yeah, that! Look, if you’re here, I’m gonna assume you have read the other three parts of this „meta“ and therefore know that I am a proud member of the Shannon Diaz - defense squad and will fight anyone who says a bad word about her. And you will also know that I attribute most of the stupid things Eddie did in 3A to the fact that Shannon died. So there. All caught up.

Now, as for Ana Flores herself (and I’m writing this after 3.16, so who knows what happens next): She might be in Season 4 (I think the interview said something about it or she tweeted something) but I don’t think it has been confirmed yet? So considering what Ryan said they probably won’t end up in a relationship by the end of Season 3 (again, please remember when I am writing this).

I’m not gonna comment on the actress aside from saying, damn, I wish that were me! Other than that? I don’t really care about actors unless I think they are hot and then it’s more of a: uiiii, me like-y. (Madeleine Patch, call me!)

As for the actual scenes, well, I have mixed feelings.

On the one hand side, as I’ve said before, I work with children and the idea of dating the father of one of my babies is just plain wrong to me. So there is that. Morally speaking that storyline would be trash. (And very OOC for Mr. „My son needs to be protected above all“)

Then of course there is what’s actually happening between them which, one, from the get go she seems to not reciprocate Eddie’s advances (he keeps telling her to call him Eddie, she keeps calling him Mr. Diaz). Also that whole speech about horses? Yeah, I know you’re an english teacher but ähm, what? (Put it on the list, Tim, I need answers!)

To sum it up (and explain why I brought up Shannon aside from how much I like her), I don’t think it’s headed for a romance quite yet? They may be playing the slowburn game, but I think it was more like Ali in Season 2. Because as @greyhello pointed out to me in Part 2, Ali might have been there to show us that Buck was ready for a commited relationship and it had never been Abby that made him like that, just as Ana is here to tell us: hey, Eddie is finally accepting his wife’s death and maybe, possibly, some time in the near future, ready to date again. Probably. We’ll see.

Aside from that, I actually think a little crush could be something healthy and healing for Mr. control issues. But, again, we’ll see.

So, elephant addressed. Now let’s move on.

Sidenote: I feel like the parent-teacher conference made Eddie really regret so many of his life decisions. Someone needs to tell Buck so he can make a million puns from here on out and drive Eddie crazy.

(Sidenote: Carla said „big blue eyes“! You know who has big blue eyes? Ah, now I’m just clowning.)

Now this episode returns to the Season 2 formula of giving Eddie and Buck similar storylines:

Because while Eddie meets someone he could potentially be interested it, Buck is also made aware of his single status and the fact that he hasn’t dated in a while.

I do think Buck’s stance in this episode was both curious and familiar. Familiar because it reminded me a lot of Eddie in 2.04 and I think, just like Eddie did before Shannon came back, right then Buck is closing himself off from making connections, be they physical or emotional, because he got hurt too much.

Which is why I call it curious. Because I can not decide wether I consider his behaviour growth or a step back. In Eddie it would definitely be a step back, but in Buck who had been so willing to take any chance for physical intimacy just for the sake of a connection in Season 1 to now at least seem somewhat settled in himself and comfortable with what he has does feel a little like growth? (Then again 3.16 shows us he is just scared of getting hurt again, so probably just covering up is depression.)

Also, again with the kitchen! That puts us at five (?) scenes of Buddie talking about each other or with each other in a kitchen setting (six, if you count 3.03). Now I’m probably clowning myself real hard right now, but whatever!

But I do wanna point out how comfortable Eddie and Buck are discussing Eddie’s parenting struggles, which just shows how much he trusts him.

Now I know, I myself have made a textpost about Eddie discussing his parenting struggles with literally anyone, but ya’ll know I was kidding, right? It isn’t actually true. In canon he talks with exactly 5 people about Christopher:

They are Christopher’s therapist in „Triggers“, Carla, Hen, Lena … and Buck.

Now, here comes something interesting: For Carla and therapist, it is literally their job to help Eddie with his parenting struggles, but all the other scenes? Connected to Buck. Yeah. That.

Look, the Hen scene in the Christmas episode literally involves Buck and as I’ve said both Eddie’s and Buck’s reaction here heavily implied that Eddie has had a conversation with Buck about his fight with Chris before telling Hen all about it.

As for Lena, again, she is *literally* there as a substitute for Buck. She uses his locker. Her name is taped over his - and that is actually such a nice visual, that I wanna talk about it real quick, because I’ve seen it called disrespectful a few times and I don’t agree.

One, the fact that they left the „B“: funny af, someone from set dressing is probably laughing themselves silly about this and is allowed to call me now; also a constant reminder who’s locker and place she is actually occupying. Also how she can never really fully replace him, she can’t cover the hole he left fully, he is always there, lurking.

Two, the fact that it is tape: tape is slightly see through. It is temporary and easily removed. Tape is just a quick, momentary fix. Tape can be taken off / away without effort.

So to sum it up: There’s no one he trusts more with his son.

Which is also why Buck is there at the end: because Buck is who Eddie trusts. Buck is who Eddie goes to when he’s struggling as a father. Buck is who Eddie wants by his side cheering Chris on. I mean, they are literally pushing him together while Carla films (stands on the sidelines, ready to help as needed, but not fully a part of their family unit).

So, to go back to the elephant in the room? Right now I’m not at all worried about Ana Flores.

On another note it’s also one of the last real Buddie scenes we got in 3B so far and while I do understand that there just wasn’t any storyline for them to do such a scene organically, I am very worried about what it could mean. Because I still remember when Teen Wolf stopped putting Tyler H and Dylan in scenes together because people kept screaming queerbaiting.

I don’t want that to happen here. I love Buddie and what it could represent but I’ve also written too much about their respective characters AND their connection by now to disregard how meaningful they ALREADY are and how important even as a platonic pairing they are. Because they make each other so much better and proof that straight man can have deep connection with each other and how two flawed people can help each other heal in a way that I don’t think any other relationship in this show shows.

Back to the episode, though. The ark between Christopher and Eddie here is truly beautiful and I love the way we see Eddie growing as a parent. And I think the show wrote those scenes so well and they felt truly natural and were incredibly important, both for Eddie and Christopher.

I do think, as much as I love Christopher always being Eddie’s number one priority, no matter who Eddie ends up dating (yes, even if he dates Buck) we need to see a bit of a shift here. (Also, just in general, because Christopher will grow up, even if he’ll never be as independent as a fully abled bodied child might someday be.)

Eddie needs to learn to let go of control and of Christopher a bit. Look, a partner will never come before Christopher for Eddie (unless Chris is like in his 40s and has moved out and is living his own life. And even then it’ll be close.) but in order for anyone to ever fit into his life he needs to make a little space at the top and that includes taking away a bit from Christopher.

(Also just selfcare reasons, you guys, parents need to learn that it’s okay to sometimes think about themselves! And we already saw Eddie break once cause it became too much, how easy do you think that can happen again?)

Sidenote: We all know Buck built that, right? He’s been shown again and again to have some mechanical / maschinary (?) understanding plus fairly interesting problem solving skills.

Episode 3.13:

I love the locker room scene. Firstly, it’s a definite reminder that these three have bonded a lot and it’s such a sweet familial scene.

Also Eddie’s advice: yet another hint that he’s healing from Shannon’s death.

Compare it 3.08 and the conversation Bobby had with Eddie. There are no definite callbacks or anything like it, but it is very very very obvious that Eddie is talking about his dead wife here. Who he told he loves her in her last moments. So there.

Now, as for the healing part, could you imagine 3A!Eddie saying something like that to anyone?

Even in 3.03 or 3.06 with Buck, the person he lets himself be the most vulnerable with, there are still always terms and conditions with his words.

He trust no one more with his son, which, okay, is what the scene was about and what has the highest priority in his life but still, his trust isn’t bound to himself, it’s bound to his son, not to himself, not something he has in general for Buck, but something he has for Buck in regards to his son - that Eddie trusts Buck with himself is only ever implied.

He forgives him - „also what it means to be a part of a team“. Eddie sort of impersonalises his forgiveness here, he doesn’t forgive him because he’s Buck and he’s Eddie, he forgives him because they are part of the same team.

With Eddie there is always a wall.

But here in the locker room there isn’t. It’s just: if you love her, tell her, cause you might not get another chance - Eddie certainly doesn’t have another chance to tell Shannon.

And okay, you might say, isn’t that kind of a condition as well? Saying ‚I love you‘ because tomorrow isn’t promised? And sure, it kind of is. But Eddie’s also basically saying: once upon a time I told my wife, who art now in heaven, that I loved her as she was dying and then I got real mad at her and the world after because she left me and she was planning to leave me anyways and now I’m here and I’m over that and I’m just glad I got to tell her ‚I love her‘ one last time. I’m no longer angry.

Growth, you guys.

Episode 3.14:

I feel like the writers read some of ya’ll’s Buddie fanfiction, realised how it mischaracterised the relationship between Buck and Chimney gets and said: not on my watch!

In other words: If Eddie and Buck are different sides of the same coin, Buck and Chimney are the same sides of different coins. They share so many traits and experiences!

Now, this episode. Man, you guys, it really has me stumped. Part of me thinks it doesn’t have relevance and part of me keeps going back because it thinks it does?

Oh man, you guys, I’m lost. I don’t know.

All right, executive decision: no relevance, just another drop on the breakdown-stone that is 3.16.

Someone please tell my man’s boy they need him!

Episode 3.15:

Fun fact to start ya’ll off: this was only the second episode I watched somewhat live being a little new to town and the first I saw without spoiling myself on tumblr. So it has a special place in my heart any way you look at it.

(But then again this episode also involves several of my nightmares: drowning! being below earth! Being in small enclosed spaces! Being buried alive! Huge amounts of mud that will not leave your clothes and fingernails for the next six hundred years!)

Also, uhm, did I say „Fools“ was the *one* episode I could not look at without shipper goggles? So I’m contradicting myself. It happens. Move on. (Yeah, or repress it and join a fight club! Also name check me with your therapist, please! We may have breakdowns but we do them healthy around here!)

Because these fuckers went off! Whew! I’m serious, after watching the episode I sent a clip of that scene to my roommate and asked to rate how platonic this was. Which she did not. Because she doesn’t know math, apparently. - My point is, she sees it and she doesn’t know the show.

In other news this episode convinced me Oliver is pulling an Andrew Robinson (and yes, I know he said it was in the script but then Andy also followed the script, so…).

Sidenote: Eddie is the oldest, right? Damn, for some reason I thought he was the middle child. He has big middle child energy.

(Also why they namedrop Galveston like that? I googled it an it’s just a town? Why, Tim, why?) (At this point he is just torturing me, I know it. This feels personal.)

Anyways, this episode, you guys! I have thoughts! (And they are very hard to put in order so please excuse any jumping around at this point.)

The birthscene is great and can we just for a moment think about 25 year old Eddie hugging his mother in law so very lovingly? He’s so happy here. So soft. (Also I’m about to turn 25? I would not be able to deal with being married right now either?)

And yes, this episode confirms that Eddie has killed people, and while I know it was selfdefense, I just, it’s very weird to me because these characters have become so real to me, so to see one of them kill without a care is kinda off-putting. (This is why I will always consider Eddie grey and why I can never consider Buck white - because he had been planning on joining the Seals meaning he had to consider the possibility of killing and has probably learned to kill (Do you think that’s why he’s so non aggressive? because he knows he could take everyone down?))

I’m just gonna come out and say it: anyone who says Eddie isn’t impulsive has not watched this show. In fact I’d even say he is more impulsive than Buck.

Yes, Buck will do weird and dumb shit on a whim because the thought just crossed his mind and it sounds good and he doesn’t think about the consequences, but just does it. (I could make a case that our boy has ADHD but this is not what this meta is about)

But Eddie? Eddie is impulsive in his reactions. Everytime he is in distress (emotional not physical) he stops thinking about consequences and just starts reacting. Especially if it’s about a child!

Shannon is pregnant - lets sign up for the army.

Our child has a developmental disorder - lets stay in the army.

My parents want to take away my child - lets move halfway across the country.

(Not allowed to talk to your best friend? - lets go streetfighting.)

Eddie probably thinks these things through to a point and he mostly has a plan, but he is so reactionary. He is like a raw nerve and that’s what makes him impulsive.

It’s why, instead of letting them pull him out enough until he can radio, Eddie cuts the fucking line. Because this is a child, this could be Christopher and Eddie needs to be enough to save him.

(Are you crying yet?)

I’m not gonna talk about Afghanistan except to say: ah, Eddie. My man, you are enough! Always!

(But maybe that was his guilt over killing talking? Maybe he does feel bad?)

Also why did the woman emphasis ‚Staff Sergeant‘ like that? Was that an indicator that Eddie got promoted?

Also Eddie the fucking boy scout / alter boy / goody goody two shoes trying to get up because of a superior office despite lying in a hospital bed (and not even having been cleaned from his blood yet, urgh that’s gotta itch!)

Sidenote: in light of 3.16: do you think Eddie still talks to Mills, Binder, Norwahl and what all their names are or do you think that would be too hard for him? I’m leaning toward not talking but I really liked Mills (she reminded me of Buck and Lena, tbh.)

And now, for our regular scheduled program: Shannon and Eddie.

First of all I loved all of it. I loved that we could really understand why Shannon left. I love how much they clashed but still had those little moments of recognition.

And look: The juice box scene was very rough. Eddie is likely currently suffering from PTSD, definitely having a culture shock and here is his wife who is barely holding on as well and she just wants to leave, she can’t deal anymore and both of them are so desperate and wow, just wow. Kudos Ryan and kudos Devin Kelley, I’m sad we won’t see you again, but I do hope I’ll see you somewhere else one of these days!

I’ve talked about their relationship a lot already, so I’m not sure if I have any fresh takes but I will remind you of a few you already know:

Eddie is not in love with Shannon after Afghanistan (haven’t decided yet if he was in love with her in the birth scene)

Shannon *needed* Eddie to open up to her just as much as she needed to be open with her

Eddie was not able to be emotionally intimate with his wife

they cared about each other very very much and I do think they tried

they are family (remember what I said in part 2 about Eddie talking to the 118 about Shannon? This here proof that he definitely defended her actions at some point to them as well)

Shannon was in an impossible situation with her mother and a special needs child and likely burned out and just … she needed someone to have her back, which Eddie couldn’t because he himself was suffering from PTSD at that point

I’m still mad as fuck, they killed her off! If they give Eddie any other endgame romance that isn’t Buddie without like two seasons buildup after killing off HIS WIFE I will riot!

Which brings me to Eddie and his parents which was rough, you guys!

Look, as someone who worked with children I can see where his parents are coming from in that scene but also wow, just wow.

How cold and insensitive and fuck, no wonder someone is repressed as shit, that was horrifying and I really can’t talk about this more than to say this hurts and also explains too much about Eddie. (Can we have the locker room three bonding about having horrible parents in Season 4, please, Tim? And can Buck come too? We could do it at the loft?)

As for his conversation with Christopher, obviously it was cute as fuck and also I love how he began the conversation talking to his child like every adult male I have ever met talking to a kid about something he knows will go over it’s head („It’s like we’re talking about completely different people.“). (Okay, maybe not just adult males. Maybe we all talk like that around children sometimes. I know I do.)

I really liked how they reinforced once again that Eddie wasn’t a natural at being a dad (compare how he holds his son to season 1 Buck who most definitely knows how to handle a child (And now I’m wondering if him being good at it was always planned or a „Oliver did a great job the first time we had him interact with a child so we decided to make it a trait“-thing. Damn you, Tim, for making me think so much!)) but became good at it because he was willing to learn and he cared! Dads of the world (also Moms, we aren’t all super duper either) take note!

That being said the conversation also left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth because, one, it felt a little petulant of Eddie to turn around and leave for LA, the way it was presented here and two, Christopher at that point didn’t understand yet what Eddie was actually asking him about and it felt a bit like manipulation. Please everyone, do not consider a conversation like that consent from a child. Any adult can get a child that age to say anything they want because children just want to be liked (It’s why when children are involved in criminal proceedings it’s so hard to interview them because children follow every suggestion because they think this is what the adults want them to say.).

Now, let’s talk about puppy!boy for a second!

In 1.05 Buck tells Abby: „no one is good when it’s personal“ - well guess what buddy boys, this one is very personal for one Evan ‚Buck’ Buckley, thank you very much, that boy is losing it.

Okay, let’s compare it to the episode before and then two episodes later:

Now, obviously the situation with Maddie was a little different. Mainly because this was a hostage situation and he realised (because Seal training, remember?) that there wasn’t a lot he could do to help her right then but then again … neither was there in Season 2 when Maddie was in danger and he still acted far more frantic in the car with Athena than he did here? Like the only stupid thing he did was drive a little dangerously this time?

And of course, two episodes later we see Bobby react when Athena is in danger and while we don’t see him be frantic we do see him get ready to kill someone, so, yeah!  It could of course be inconsistent writing or deliberate to keep the attention and worry more on the people in the call centre but since they haven’t pulled anything like that before I’m leaning more into my clowning.

I mean, we also have to consider that Buck was Eddie’s lifeline here, he was supposed to be the one to get him out, so he feels extra responsible but then again we have Hen make this comment about having two cut lines, which of course says that Hen thinks that one: whatever reason Eddie had to cut his line will definitely be considered a just as valid reason by Buck to cut his line but also: BUCK WOULD DECIDE TO DIE DOWN THERE WITH EDDIE. Sorry for the yelling, but no, I do not think Buck acted out of character in 3.14.

(Which is very irresponsible, you guys. You are fathers! What happens to Christopher when ya’ll die in a well somewhere in fictional California? I can not live in fictional California! I will not be taking care of your child, Buddie! Figure it out yourself! No. We are done here! This conversation is over!)

(Okay, not quite, because I actually don’t think that would be realistic! More realistic: Buck giving Eddie his harness so he can get pulled out first and then dying down there alone.)

Like I’ve said in the at the beginning: Oliver might be pulling an Andrew Robinson. It might have just been the way they thought Buck would act if he lost Eddie while being responsible. It might have been fever making him delirious (which, btw, kudos! Because you can hear how sore his throat was and omg, that shirt hurt!)

Never mind I found the heavy focus on Buck in an episode about Eddie fairly curious - which is why now it’s video-talk time!

First: I will not bear Shannon slander around here! Yes, she was in way less scenes than Buck, but the actress also was never a main character, so ya’ll need to remember there are like 2 scenes of them as a family. And they probably didn’t have the time, money and energy to film some just for a montage - especially considering that the three of them have hardly been a family together, because first Eddie was gone and then Shannon, so…

But yes, we do have to admit that Buck was in most scenes, and yes, we do have to consider the implications of this which are: Buck is definitely a vital member of the Diaz family and when Eddie says: I’m always gonna come home to my family, this now includes Buck and I hope we see him tell him that at one point in the final cause I need him to!

And then of course there is also the radio scene in the beginning (which lead to one of my proudest tumblr-moments to date in form of this post!) which did ease us into the concept of Bucky-boy being a member of the Diaz family! So it is canon now?!

One thing I wanna point out about the school scene in the end in regards to this is that little boy’s question. Sure they used it as transition to calling Christopher his good luck charm but, uhm, why did they have Buck ask about it in the beginning then? Why have this sort of unnecessary callback to the beginning of the episode unless they want us to remember Buck?

Something to ponder for the next week, I think.

Also the episode sort of reinforced my believe that we don’t really have to worry about Ana Flores. Sure, this scene was also a chance for Eddie to redeem himself in front of a teacher he screamed at just a few weeks prior but the only interaction they had was her asking that question at the end and Eddie hardly looked at her.

(Also, if they really wanted to reinforce Eddie being interested in her, they could have had Carla make a dig about it in the beginning, even with Christopher there, but they didn’t, which to me confirms that they don’t really know what to do with her yet.)

At least Ryan was finally taking his shirt off again, I know that’s like catnip for ya’ll.

Episode 3.16:

One thing that really confuses me is how many people seem to think this episode points out only how important romantic relationship are and I don’t see that?

I mean, I see that it’s one of the points that is being made but I don’t think it’s the only possible reading of this episode.

To me it was about connection and family more than anything.

It begins actually with Eddie (the person most connected to Buck) being the first person to decline Buck’s invite, not in favour of spending time with a romantic partner, but because he has a prior commitment with his son! (And several other people, including, but not limited to, at least 2 other nine year olds. For Eddies sake I hope less than 5 or that Carla is around because he is a single father and children unionise by nature.)

And it continues with Buck by forming a connection to Red and then bonding with Maddie.

And can I just say, before we delve more into all of this, how proud I am of Evan „Buck“ Buckley after this episode? Just look at him!

This is Buck at his lowest, lower even than during the lawsuit, because back then he had something to fight against, which he doesn’t have here. Because he can’t stop other people from leaving him (that is the whole point of the episode after all) and what does he do? Instead of going full on Buck 1.0 and just finding the nearest interested person to form a meaningless physical connection with to substitute for the lacking emotional intimacy he craves so much, he goes to a bar alone and befriends an old man. And spends the rest of the episode bonding with him. And bonding with his sister. And addressing his issues, both with his sister and his family. That is huge!

(Which is why I’ve decided him not wanting to date? Symptom of his deeper issues, yes, but also a sign of growth.)

And I’ve seen some people on my dash talk about how, compared to most other 911 episodes, this episode has a fairly bleak ending, which one I agree with, two think is actually a theme with Buck centric episodes, but three don’t actually mind / think is a bad thing? It’s fairly realistic after all.

To get personal one second: I remember being a very idealistic 20-year old intern working in the foster system five years ago and my mentor, who was less than 10 years older than me but fairly badass teaching me something that technically is a well known proverb but that I, a idealistic 20-year old, had not actually understood until I worked there and saw it myself: manchmal muss man den Karren an die Wand fahren - translation: sometimes you have to let the trolley drive into the wall, which means sometimes you have to let things play out till it’s natural end before you can help. Or to use an english proverb: Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom.

And this is what I’m thinking - no, hoping - is happening here. Because, look, you don’t just solve like 20 or more years of abandonment issues in one episode and considering what a big part of Buck’s character from the moment we met him they have been, that would have been unsatisfying to watch anyways! What we need right now, in terms of Buck’s storyline is catharsis. A cleansing. Buck needs to get to his worst (which I think he did or he will, once he talks to Abby) before he can begin to get better, can begin to heal, can begin to learn that he is not alone. And that is not a bad thing!

And yes, I know our boy is suffering and we along with him because we all love Evan Buckley to death but sometimes you gotta let things break so you can fix them instead of just putting tapes over the holes you see (haha, see what I did there?).

As for the episode, here we go:

I wanna start with something else real quick which is Hen’s subplot which I found important. Because they addressed that hey, she went through a trauma not to long ago as well and maybe she is not as okay with it as we thought?

Also it shows Bobby’s double standard again, but then I think he would have reacted differently if the guy had died and it was evident Hen realised she should never pull a stunt like that again. And maybe I’m giving Bobby a bit to much credit right now. Urgh.

I do wanna say, while Chimney seemed fine at the end with what went down we did see his reaction in the next episode and honestly he is mad, it’s just that Hen is his best friend and Chimney lives on the principle of forgive and forget so there.

Now I do really like the rope rescue scene because it was badass and also because Eddie seems so done in the beginning and Bobby just looks at him like: well, he’s not doing it alone and he’s probably not gonna cut his rope!

(Also notice how Eddie cut his rope willingly but Buck’s was cut for him? What does that mean? - For reals, I may see the connection but I can’t yet make out the meaning.)

But I did appreciate Hen’s comments about them being their best guys a lot! I kind of want an episode like they used to do on Star Trek were they focus on background characters and give us the way everyone probably sees Buddie as some kind of superhuman supermen who pull the craziest stunts and somehow make it! And now, let’s get into Evan!

First of, I now Cindy was meant as a parallel to Abby but I also think to Ali because Abby didn’t leave because she couldn’t handle the fear but Ali did. So there, a sort of Ali Martin mention! Thanks for listening, Tim.

But of course with everything else Cindy is quite the parallel to Abby from the way she just left and Red never really got closure, just like Buck.

What is interesting though is that Red, different to Buck, doesn’t want closure. He wants to remember the good times and imagine what could have been. (This could of course be due to the fact that his life is about to end.)

Buck on the other hand side really craves closure, and look, I know when we first learned she is definitely coming back I was really unhappy about that, but since then we learned they run into each other which makes it fine to me. Because I thought we’d have another instance of Buck running after Abby for validation and I did not want that. But he’s not actually running after her, it’s just a coincidence so I’m happy for him getting a chance to have closure, finally.

And this is were I think the episode proofs that it’s not about romantic love as the only way to be fulfilled, first because after talking about Abby Buck asks „Do you think I’m lonely?“ which is not about romance at all (had they wanted to make it about love it would have been: „Do you think I’ll find love again?“ or something). Also the conclusion of this episode is Maddie telling Buck he is different to Red because he has her (and in general those scenes between them, yes, they were also about Abby because she was another person Buck has been left by but just like they mention a best friend in terms of people Maddie left behind it is not about the romantic aspect, it is about people he loves in general), because he has a sister and she won’t leave him again - so there, familial love! The pinky swear! The importance of family. (see 3.11)

Also had it really been about love you know what would have happened since then? We’d have seen Buck calling Abby! Maddie would have said something about Buck still being young and having time to meet someone! Instead Abby and Buck run into each other by accident and Maddie makes a pinky swear to never leave again, so yeah, I just think sometimes we need to wait for how stuff plays out before we judge.

Now of course I wanna mention the pool scene as well.

Firstly, I know we already traced a lot of what Buck says at the end back to Eddie and the grocery store but did ya’ll here Chimney say: „Seems like your making this about yourself“ and Bobby implying the same thing, so yeah, I wonder if it was them quoting Eddie or if this is what everyone is supposed to be thinking or if it was just a setup for the breakdown at the end.

Also let’s talk about Eddie real quick here, because I found it really weird that they didn’t reference his platoon from Afghanistan here? Like they could have easily have him say „I’m not in the army anymore but I still talk to my old platoon.“, especially since we MET them one episode before. So either they didn’t think of that, they wanted to reinforce the fear Buck has or Eddie may just be as lonely as Buck?

(Guess which way I’m leaning?)

(Look, children are great but they are no substitute for friends and adult conversation, just saying!)

But I love how hard Mr. Stoic and emotionally unavailable tries to reassure Buck, tries to be there for him. And also did ya’ll notice how, once Eddie speaks for the first time Buck’s focus never strays from him. Hen and Chimney and Bobby talk as well but it seems as if Buck never looked away from Eddie. (Which, definitely get that, he looked good here.) Also how Buck stresses the “That better not happen to us“ - man, what conversation could he be referencing? Man, I wish I had memorised this show by now so I could tell you about two scenes that happened in 3A between Buddie where the topic of us was emphasised a lot but alas I don’t and I can’t.

What the pool scene also proofs once more is that the 118 just like an actual family has a lot of communication issues because Hen and Chimney not being in contact with Tommy or so is a completely different situation but because of their bad communication they don’t realise that this is something they need to explain to Buck because they think this is about Red.

Bobby doesn’t get it either tbh.

But we all know who does, look, I said it about 3.03 and I’ll say it now: Eddie knows Buck. Eddie understands Buck. And Eddie is on the path of realising that Buck needs him to say the actual words and not just let his actions speak! And my my if all of this pays off I will be one happy camper! (Hums Rihanna “We found love in a hopeless place”)

On a sidenote I hate that Red pegged Buck as a hothead because he really really isn’t! He’s just excitable and sometimes struggles with expressing himself and that frustrates him!

Also I never noticed the apartment had an outside area? did we know this? There is a grill?

Also really would love to see Gigi / Dana Strattford again, I liked her, she’s pretty! (But not like to date one of my guys, Tim, kay?)

(Also whats Officer Williams up to these days? Asking for … a friend?)

And to round this episode up: Oliver still looked so sick at times and they put a lot more makeup on him than they normally do? Usually you can see the slight scaring on his face but this episode you couldn’t but you could see the tears / snot mixing with all the makeup when he was crying and honestly, not his best look! (He still makes it work, though! Just saying, I miss 1.02 / 3.02 / 3.03 Buck, I know these episodes hurt but visually they are peak!)

Episode 3.17:

Was that episode amazing? Yes.

Am I still cackling about Oliver Stark having too much leg? Yes.

Did I love the Frank mention with all my heart? Yes.

Was Michael’s meet cute in an elevator less gay than any Buddie scene we got so far specifically any in 2.01 also known as their meet-ugly? That was a rhetorical question, you guys.

As for that comment I wouldn’t put too much stock into it. I mean, if you’re a single guy and you get invited out to fifth wheel at a double date with your sister and her boyfriend and his best friend and her wife, no matter how close you are, you will feel awkward so of course you invite the other single guy who happens to be your best friend who happens to be part of the friendgroup AND the team you’re working with making this a definite team/family/work - outing.

That being said: it took me 23h to come up with a reasonable explanation for this comment and I did scream at my laptop and pause the episode after it was made and I have been thinking “Buddie” confirmed about 100 times since then!

Also, they just spent a shit ton of time together, right? Like, if Buck’s there than so is Eddie and if Eddie is there than so is Buck and I’m clowning and not calm anymore!

Maybe “Buck invites Eddie” can be our always?

In other news this episode has absolutely no relevance for anything, but I love it deeply.

And we made it you guys! It was slower going but it worked!

Thank you to everyone who read so far and thank you to everyone who has been liking and reblogging and commenting! I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how much this means to me!

(Also please keep doing that! I too am an excitable puppy looking for validation!)

Now, to tag:

@angelcamael, @greyhello, @ipleiade, @the-family-we-choose-118 @chimbuckleys @sevensoulmates

#buddie meta #buck meta #eddie meta #911 meta #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 #911 fox #season 3 #textpost #mine #meta #buck #my meta

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brokentoys · 3 years

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Like in both Eternal and Future End or whatever the fuck (there seems to be a lot of ‘futures’) Bat & Eddie’s interactions are miserable. Especially in the former, which I express just how fucked up it felt reading it. (View post here) But Confidential brings me the content I want to see,, whilst I do have one issue with it. (tbf? As much as I LOVE the idea of Eddie being protective of Bruce, & not wanting to kill him when he has the chance. It just seems... Unrealistic. Not to mention, Eddie mentioned needing Bat for an audience for the “riddles” he gives. And that feels... too similar to J0ker needing Bat.) But other than that...

It was just a lot of fun, and wholesomeness. A compassionate hero working with a likable villain. Whilst the hero can get annoyed and angry at the villain, it was always for reasons the reader can understand, and even empathize with. Because most of the time, Eddie either deserved it for being insensitive, or... Bat had a right to be skeptical of him. And even then, when Bat would assault or be aggressive with Eddie, it was more understandable as Eddie wasn’t alone, he was intentionally getting close to the potential victim even after Bruce said DO NOT. And Eddie being... Eddie. It was understandable why he’d get apprehensive about this. Not to mention, Bat wasn’t even particularly cruel here, just kinda firm. And Eddie himself wasn’t literally scared, screaming, or on the verge of fucking tears. He was either casual about it himself, or even smiled and cracked jokes. Not to mention, Bat never seriously harmed Eddie at all. He was protective of him when real danger arose, and he never broke any of Eddie’s limbs. He only did what he could to stop Eddie when he thought Eddie was legit going to do something bad.

Therefore, Bat still feels like the hero here. Yes, Bruce DID fuck up big time by not listening to Eddie’s warning in the beginning, and therefore leading to a victim’s death. However, this flaw feels like a fine, and again, understandable one that doesn’t completely ruin Bruce’s status as a compassionate or good guy who oftentimes bitter still. We as readers can understand why Bruce wouldn’t take Eddie’s warning, especially if Eddie could be behind it all as it seemed similar to his own crimes.

This was an enjoyable read.

In other ones, like Eternal...

Seeing Eddie literally this scared, with a broken arm, not even really around other people he can harm. I mean, they appear to be out in the middle of fucking nowhere here. And as I pointed out in the post I linked - the way Bruce talks to him “having FUN??” Then like... showing no compassion when Eddie broke his arm, or the fact that Eddie seems to be TERRIFIED because he legit thinks he’ll DIE if he returns. And also him doing all he can to insist he doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t want either of them hurt - yet Bat still being... so aggressive toward him, so cold like the location they’re in. It’s just... not fun at all to read, or entertaining for that matter. It’s just depressing as hell watching a victim of abuse who typically cannot fight being helpless, and even practically crying about being helpless and pointing out how sick Bruce is for basically taking his frustration out on him. Then reading our “”hero,”” Bruce be such a cold, apathetic bastard, too. Like Bruce is a problematic man... but once he gets so bad, he just leaves villains for dead, never listens to them, and just hurts them even when they’re literally this upset? It’s not enjoyable to read.

In fact, this comic itself is a perfect example of what Grant Morrison was criticizing in Animal Man #5 / Coyote Gospel. It was from ‘88... yet it’s clearly still relevant. The comic was about a Coyote from a Loony Tunes like world who gets rejected from his world by the “creator/author” and he’s sent into “modern” comics life. In it, he accidentally gets a truck driver’s family killed because the truck driver accidentally ran over the coyote. (Who can “heal” back to life in disturbing ways.) & a car crash assured. Because of this, the man devotes his life to nothing but trying to kill the coyote. This is my absolute favorite panel(s) from the comic;

Is the truck driver trying to kill the coyote. Why I love this panel so much is particularly him mentioning his hands trembling. Then saying “why won’t THEY stop?” Emphasizing on THEY. The man isn’t referring to his hands anymore, he’s referring to everyone involved in the comic. The writers, the artists, the readers. Because he doesn’t want this. Both of these characters are absolutely miserable, there is nothing positive about them. Therefore, Truck Driver is asking himself, why is this enjoyable? Why are the writers still doing this? What does this even mean other than shock value and why do people eat up meaningless shock value? In the end, both characters meet their fate, never positive once, always miserable, always bloody and grotesque.

You might be wondering “Wikia, what the hell does Animal Man even have anything to do with this and where is this rant even going?” Well, the thing is. I feel like in this case, Eddie was the coyote, and Bruce was the truck driver. Both are bad people, at this point, irredeemable people who only made each other’s lives miserable. And for what? What meaning does this have? What purpose does it have that Bruce is practically reminiscence of Eddie’s ABUSER? And that Eddie has done irredeemable shit in previous comics before? Bruce having compassion for the villains made sense as you can understand it, and it made him feel heroic. Bruce didn’t kill before, and would actually talk with his villains because he saw them as victims and wanted to help them. Hell, you can even argue that Bruce... saw himself in them. Most his villains, like himself, were created out of tragedy in the city of G0tham. G0tham ruined them all. And perhaps Bruce realizes that he could’ve easily been a J0ker, or a R!ddler. But instead, he just happened to be a Batm/an. And perhaps he feels sympathetic towards them because of this. But with him being so cruel to not only them, but oftentimes even being abusive towards the Robins? Yeah... I no longer see a flawed hero, but I now see the truck driver. A man who’s so aggressive and miserable, he only cares about getting revenge and letting out that aggression. Not even stopping to think about the Coyote’s situation, and how the Coyote has also lost his own life because he was banned from his world. And there is just... no compassion. Just shocking and edgy content where everyone is horrible, and they’re all against each other.

This got really long, and for that, I apologize.

#( 🧩 ✧ INFERIOR PUPPETEER ✧ | OOC )#// this was originally meant to just be an appreciation for confidential...#// then it became a rant on eternal...#// then it became a rant on modern bat comics in general xD #// WHOOPS #long post //

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confusedqueergal · 4 years

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Hardhearted

This is my story for the Secret Santa 2019 event hosted by @itfandomprompts

My gift goes to @nadurflaa, I hope I did a decent job!

Pairing : Eddie Kapsbark/ Richie Tozier

Wordcount: 3945

Summary: Eddie comes back home from college for the holidays and has a unpleasant surprise waiting for him.

(trigger warning for homophobic comments)

It was weird to be back, although it also felt good in a way. It had been more than 5 months since Eddie had seen any of his friends. If he was being honest, he had missed them quite a lot. It wasn’t as if they weren’t talking, rather they text everyday and call each other at least once during the week. It was nice to know that the distance hadn’t changed much to their friendship. Most of the Losers club had also gone away for college, except for Richie, who had taken his first year off to travel. Bev and Bill had both gone to Stanford, Stan had gone to NYU and Ben was studying in Colombia. Mike had gone to study in the community college, not so far from Derry itself. Besides Mike, Eddie was the one who stayed the closest to their home.

Not that Eddie didn’t want to get as far away from Derry as all his other friends. He was afraid that if he left for college too fr y that he would lose sight of one particular boy. The one he had loved for so long. But now he was back, at least for a few weeks. As he got out of the cab he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding back. With determination he walked towards his childhood home.

It wasn’t normal to feel so anxious to see your mother after a few months. That never happened to other people, right? Eddie knew that his mother was nuts, but she was still his mother and as far as he knew his only family. His mother knew that he would be coming sometime today, so she didn’t act surprised when he opened the door.

“Eddie, good, you’re here! Bring over the milk, would you”, her sharp tone ordered him as soon she noticed his arrival. Eddie rolled his eyes and sighed as he walked towards the kitchen. “Oh hello Eddie! how are you, Eddie? How was your trip back?”, the young adult muttered to himself as he walked back to the living room, where he now noticed his mother sitting with the town clown, Pennywise.

His name was actually Robert Gray, but the Losers Club has been calling him Pennywise for years now. The name started when other people would say that the man was wise, because of his age. Of course, being 10 year old boys the losers club decided that he was as wise as a penny, therefor the name Pennywise was created.

Yes, it was silly, but it stuck and the Losers club wasn’t about to change a 10 year old name.

After giving the milk to his mother, Eddie sat down on the sofa, right next to Pennywise.

“You should be grateful your mom wants you back in her house, boy”, the old clown snarled as Sonia put some milk in his coffee.

“It was a mistake, wasn’t it, Eddi-kins”, Sonia laughed and took a sip from her coffee. Eddie frowned, not understanding what the two old bags were talking about.

“What was a mistake, mother?”, he dared to ask. It was better to ask than to make assumption on what had her mad, if he had to believe Pennywise.

“Oh, Edward, I was talking about the things you said before you left of course. I knew you were emotional about the fact that you would be leaving me and Derry, so I didn't say anything”, the woman smiled, but as always her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Those eyes always looked bleak, as if she never felt any emotion.

“Do you mean my coming out?”, Eddie asked taken back from the comments his mom had made two seconds ago . He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It had taken him so long to accept himself and to be comfortable in his own skin and now that he had come out to his mother and peers, she batted it away as if it was nothing. As if his feelings weren’t valid.

“If you want to call it that, then sure”, she said, indifferent to Eddie's distressed face.

“Ha, coming out, that’s bullshit you young folks have invented. It’s ridiculous and you should just get your head out of your ass, boy”, Pennywise laughed and Sonia nodded in agreement.

“I am sorry if it’s bullshit to you, but coming out is a struggle for a lot of people not only ‘we young folks’”, Eddie snapped back. Okay, he is willing to accept backlash towards himself, but not when it’s about the whole community. Than he is going to say something.

“Sure, boy. It really is a struggle to chose to fuck around with another man. I am sure that if it was a real struggle you wouldn’t choose to do that shit.”

Eddie was speechless, this conversation was starting to really bother him. He has to admit, he was tougher than he was two years ago, but the words coming from Pennywise, really pissed him off.

“Robert is right, Eddi-kins, I know it’s cool to participate with all those trends, but you don't have to pretend with me", was what Sonia said and Eddie had to push the tears back. He wasn't going to cry in front of this woman who he used to see as his mother and that monster of a man.

"Oh come one, boy, you are getting soft if you can't handle a few comments from your mother", Pennywise hissed out after he noticed the young man tear up.

"You need to get out of here, now!", a voice urged him as he felt more and more pathetic in the presence of the two elderly.

Pennywise was still talking, venting about how soft and weak he was, but Eddie couldn't take it anymore. He tried to block the conversation out, until something caught his attention.

"You are right, Robert, when I heard that my Eddi-kins was friend with that useless boy, Richard, I knew he would be bad news", Sonia exclaimed as response to the last comment that Pennywise had made.

"What are you talking about?", Eddie snapped for the first time since entering the house.

"I always knew that that Tozier kid would be trouble. He is clearly one of those fags and that has been a bad influence on you", Pennywise outright attacked Richie and that is something that made Eddie furious.

“You don’t know shit! Richie is one of the best people I know and you are a monster, nothing more than a fucking clown!”, Eddie cried out in anger as he hit the table with his fist.

Shit, that hurt, but right now he only felt angry and upset.

“Edward! How dare you say that to Robert!? Apologize, right now!”, Sonia ordered her son, as she always did. She always wanted him to do what she wanted, he had to be a clean, good boy and he couldn’t take it anymore.

“No, mother! I won’t apologize! I am not about to apologize to a clown after he insulted me and not to mention insulted my friend!”, Eddie snarled at Sonia. It was the first time he really stood up against her, besides that time when he couldn’t see his friends anymore. It felt good! Shit, it felt really good! Sonia looked in shock, but really, she should have seen it coming. After all these years of repressing her son, of controlling him, so it was bound to happen.

Eddie felt the adrenaline rush through his vein as he tried to figure out what he should do now. He came to the conclusion that he couldn’t stay in this house, with this woman and even less in the same room as this clown. So he turned around and started to walk out of the room towards the door, where his luggage had been abandoned not even an hour ago.

“Eddie! Eddie! Where are you going?!”, Sonia squealed and started following him outside the door, “Eddie! Come back here!”

“Bye Mother!”, Eddie called one more time and he started walking down the road. God, how it would have been better if he had a car, right now.

Behind him he could hear his mother, still calling his name, but Eddie was determined, he wouldn’t let her manipulate him anymore.

Without knowing where he was headed, he continued walking as the conversation kept repeating in his head on a loop. Gosh, how stupid could I have been, Eddie thought to himself. He had really thought that his mother had accepted him after she hadn’t said anything about his coming out.

Minutes could have passes, maybe even a few hours until his legs came to a stop. He recognized the building as one of the newer apartment buildings in Derry. After a moment he realized that this was the building where Richie lived. The man had send the losers so many pictures of his new home, he seemed so proud to have found a place on his own. Eddie had been glad that Richie had found a place for himself, why that was, he didn’t know. Eddie had thought that he envied the boy, because he could live alone while Eddie still had to share a dorm with two other people. Thinking back, it might have been more than envy, but really, it isn’t time to think of that now! Eddie felt stupid for standing there, with his bag, looking at a building.

He was sure that if someone saw him, they would think he was a creep. He had turned around to leave, when he heard: “Eddie?”

If Eddie was being honest, he didn’t think of the fact that Richie might see him and right now he didn’t know what to do. Play it cool and pretend that he was just passing by? Or admit that he is somewhat upset and that he kind of wanted to be comforted? Before Eddie could make a decision Richie had already reached out and now he was standing in front of the young man.

"Eddie? Are you okay?", of course he would notice if something was wrong.

Eddie nodded and looked his friend in the eye for the first time since he addressed him.

Richie's eyes were filled with worry where usually there was mischief. He placed his Hand on Eddie's arm, hoping the man would see it as Richie being there for him.

"Come on, Eddie Spaghetti, you can tell me if something is bothering you, you know that right?", the nickname came over as something reassuring. Eddie chuckled.

"Nothing's wrong , my mother was being my mother, as always." He figured that would be enough explanation.

And it was. Richie nodded in understanding and he pointed at his car. "Do you want to go for a ride?"

"Ehm, sure. But where should I put my stuff ?", Eddie asked, referring to the luggage that was by his side.

"You can put it in my apartment, I'm guessing you need to have a place to stay so you can stay with me."

"Oh, no, it's fine. I'll a motel or something…" Eddie murmured shyly, not wanting to impose onto Richie. Not that he liked the idea of staying in a motel, in a bed where multiple other people have slept in before.

"As if Eddie Kaspbark is going to willingly stay in a motel where other people have slept!", Richie laughed, giving the impression that he had read Eddie's previous thought.

Eddie laughed a long and didn't mind saying anything. He knew that he wouldn't stay in a motel, meaning that he would be staying at Richie's.

Richie started walking toward the front door and after they had put Eddie's bag in the apartment, they went downstairs again and got into the car.

"Where too, Mister Eddie Spaghetti?", Richie asked as he started the engine.

"Where ever you want to go, Richie Trashmouth", Eddie smiled at the man and off they went.

The ride was quiet, but Eddie liked it that way. He had to admit that it was strange that Richie wasn't blabbing on and on, but he figured he was concentrated on the road.

After a while Richie came to a stop at the side of the road, but there was nothing there, not that Eddie could see.

"Why are we here, Richie?", Eddie wondered as he looked at the man in the driver's seat.

"You'll see", was what he replied and got out of the car. Eddie was confused, but trusted his friend and exited the car too. Richie had walked towards the edge of the road and looked before himself. Eddie came closer to Richie and finally understood why Richie had wanted to come here. The view was gorgeous. Derry seemed so beautiful from up here.

"Richie, what a beautiful view…", Eddie breathed put and Richie nodded in agreement. The both of them were just there and stared at the scenery in front of them.

Richie turned back to the car and sat down on its hood. "Are we staying here, Rich?", Eddie asked.

"If you want, Eddie", he replied with a smirk.

Eddie laughed and sat down next to him on the hood. The two of them were quiet, but it was comfortable. It didn't take long before the sun started setting and to say that the view was breathtaking was the understatement of the year.

Eddie was sure he was staring with his mouth open wide. Richie's laugh made him realise he must look ridiculous and he shut his mouth, his whole face red from embarrassment.

The silence continued and for once Eddie missed Richie's rambling, so he decided to speak up.

"You're kind of freaking me out with this silent treatment", Eddie joked, but it sounded forced and not genuine at all.

"I just thought you would appreciate the quiet, you always complain about my Trashmouth", he simply said.

Oh… That wasn't something Eddie had expected.

"I… I never mean that. I thought you knew that it was a joke", Eddie murmured guilty. He never meant to hurt his friend.

"It's fine", Richie reassured him.

The silence came back and Eddie couldn't take it.

"It wasn't just my mother that upset me", he started.

"Oh, want to talk about it?", Richie suggests and Eddie nodded. He took a deep breath and kept his gaze away from Richie, knowing that he would break if he did look at the boy he loved.

"I got home from university today and as soon as I got inside she started ordering me around. She didn't even ask how my trip was", Eddie said sadly.

"She wasn't alone, Pennywise was there."

"Pennywise!?", Richie exclaimed. Eddie nodded.

"And you know how Pennywise is, he was saying stuff, but what hurt me is that mum agreed with him. I know she isn't the nicest. But you know after my coming out she didn't kick me out so I took that as a win. But no, she just thought that it was a mental breakdown and that I liked participating with "trends". ", Eddie was now shaking, he clenched his hand in a fist. He then hissed in pain as it was the hand that he had used to hit the table.

"I also kind of hit my fist against the table in the spur of the moment", he muttered. At that Richie laughed and took the hand into his own and pressed a light kiss on it. Eddie's face heated up and he avoided making any eye contact.

"I am so sorry, Eddie, they both can suck it. They are old, bigoted people and they don't change their mind that easily. ", Richie then said, his lips still against Eddie's knuckles.

Eddie nodded, but he felt so helpless. His eyes were tearing up and he knew that he wouldn't be able to hold tears a second time today. It was when Richie wrapped his arms around his frail shoulders that Eddie started crying.

"It's going to be okay, Eds, I promise", Richie shushed to Eddie and the crying boy felt the need to tell Richie that they had talked about him too.

"It isn't that that upset me, not really. But Pennywise made a comment about you, after which my mother replied that you were bad influence", Eddie whispered, scared that he would upset Richie.

"What did he say about me?", Richie asked, not one ounce of worry visible on his face.

"He called you "one of those fags" and a "bad influence", the words were barely audible and Eddie wasn't sure if Richie had hear what he had said, because there was no reaction for a while. Until Richie started to laugh. Eddie looked at him as if he was going mad. What was happening, he didn't know.

"At least the clown was right about one thing"

It took a few seconds for Eddie to process that one sentence and he immediately started arguing.

"Of course you're not a bad influence, you are one of my best friends and one of the best people I've ever known, don't you dare to suggest that you are a bad influence", Eddie ranted, pissed off, not believing that Richie out of all the people would say that about himself.

Richie started laughing once more and now Eddie was lost, completely and utterly lost.

"Why are you laughing now, you asshole!?", Eddie yelled and hit Richard on the arm.

"Because I meant that he was right about me being a fag, not a bad influence, which was never the truth, by the way. Have you met me, I am the best!", Richie laughed so much he almost fell of the hood of the car.

Is he joking? What does he mean by that? Why the hell would he say that? The questions raced through Eddie's mind.

"Eds, calm down, I can hear the gears turning in your head."

It was Richie that spoke up first and to be honest with you, it did calm Eddie down.

"I didn't know you were gay?", Eddie settles for that, feeling that it would be better than any other questions running in his head.

Richie chuckled: "I know, I didn't really realize I was until last summer."

“Oh”

That was the only thing that Eddie could say. He wanted to ask so many things, say so many things, but he couldn’t mutter anything except ‘oh’.

After that there was silence, comfortable silence, but silence nonetheless. Both men looked at the sky that slowly turned into a night sky, the colors changing from blue to purple to soft pink and orange.

“You know what made me realize I was gay?”, Richie said after a while and Eddie shook his head. Expecting Richie to tell him, he didn’t know why he was met with silence . he turned to look at his friend and saw him biting his lip, a thing he used to do when he was nervous about something.

“You don’t have to share it with me, it’s something personal and you shouldn’t have-“, Eddie’s sentence was cut of with: “It was you, you made me realize.”

Eddie did not expect that. At all. Richie looked over at his friend, wanting to see his reaction. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes wide. Damn, he looked cute, Richie thought.

“Come on, say something before I make a fool of myself”, Richie laughed and Eddie wanted to say something, he really did, but no words came out of his mouth

“Sorry if I made this shit awkward, Eds. Just forget-”

Now it was Richie’s turn to be cut off, not by something Eddie said. No, Richie was cut off by something Eddie did. He had pressed his lips against those of Richie.

Fuck, he is kissing me! Oh, shit, this is really happening!

Eddie had picked up all the courage that was in him and did something he had wanted to do for years now. And that felt good! God, that felt so good. Richie’s lips were rough under his own, but it was the best kiss he had ever had. Not that it was hard to surpass that, he had only been kissed twice in his life.

The kiss could have lasted a few seconds, minutes or hours, Eddie had lost all concept of time, but that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered besides Richie, who was here, kissing him back.

It is Richie that breaks of the kiss, still holding Eddie’s face. He didn’t know when he had cupped is cheek, but right now he didn’t want to let go of him.

“You are the one that made me realize too, you know”, Eddie said shyly, as if he didn’t just do the bravest thing he had ever done. There was a faint blush coloring his cheeks and gosh, did he look good! It was amazing how much the person you loved made you feel. And that is what it was, love, because this wasn’t a silly little crush. Richie loved Eddie and he has loved him for years now. It was only this summer, when Eddie was packing for college, ready to leave, that Richie could pinpoint his feelings for his best friend. The thought of losing Eddie had been so painful, he hadn’t understand it at first. It was weird because it didn’t hurt when he thought of his other friends leaving, only Eddie leaving, that hurt as hell.

And now, Eddie had kissed him, had admitted that Richie was special to him too and that, that gave him enough courage to say: “I love you, Eddie”

No silly nicknames, no joking, just real feelings and for once the truth.

“Really?”, Eddie choked out, his voice so quiet that Richie had almost missed it. He nodded, pulled Eddie against himself and kissed him, softer now. Tender and slow. Not hard and desperate as the first kiss.

“I’ve been in love with you since we were 13”, Eddie said, a bit out of breath. Richie pulled Eddie closer, but didn’t kiss him this time. He just wanted to cuddle this amazing man that loved him too! How he got so lucky he didn’t know. They stayed that way and it was perfect. Stars started to appear and honestly, that was even more beautiful than the sundown.

It is when Eddie starts to shiver that Richie suggested that they went back to his place and Eddie quickly agreed. The drive back was quiet too, but felt so different from the ride to the spot they would both see as their own.

Richie held Eddie’s throughout the whole drive and god, did his hand feel good in Eddie’s. He still couldn’t believe that Richie was his now. Sure it may be dumb to assume that Richie wanted a relationship, but this is what it felt like.

What if Richie didn’t want a long term relationship like Eddie wanted so badly? It is at that moment that the taller of the two spoke up again.

“I can literally hear you think, Eds”, he laughed. Eddie blushed and looked down to their intertwined hands.

“I know it’s stupid, but I got to ask . You want a relationship, right? Not just a one time thing?”

Richie looked over at Eddie, the man he loved, the one he had always admired, his closest friend.

“Yes, Eddie . I really want you to be my boyfriend and to that extend, for me to be your boyfriend.”

Eddie blushed again and smiled at Richie, his boyfriend. He knew that even though his mum would never change, even though there are some nasty people out there, he will be alright.

Because he has Richie, just like he always had.

#college AU #reddie #fanfic #hurt/comfort #secret santa 2019

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animalpetcel · 5 years

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Jason Todd and Ships & My feelings on them

(Because a friend dared me to)

JayRoy: I used to ship it, but then I read up on Roy’s post reboot personality and history and I felt too weird about it to continue (But DickRoy looks nicer now)

JayKyle: I read their Search for Ray Palmer series with Donna. The potential is there, but they never interacted beyond that so I don’t have strong feeling for it (Also I love ConnorKyle more)

JayEddie: The two are supposed to be friends & penpals, but beyond that one crossover story they had in Blue Devil #19 & Eddie’s comments in Teen Titans (2003) #42, they haven’t talked about each other or interacted at all. Since DC doesn’t care enough about Eddie to develop his relationships with Blue Devil, Rose Wilson and Jason, this ship remains a rarepair, though if DC decided to use Eddie instead of Roy for New52 RHATO, JayEddie would have eclipsed JayRoy & JayKyle in terms of popularity

Batcest ships: Disgusting. Adopted families are real families.

JayTalia: Also disgusting, she’s his mentor figure, the mother of one of his brothers and is around Bruce’s age. It was a bad idea all around.

JayHelena: Huntress has been stated to like gentler men and is working harder to be a better, non-murdery hero so people who say that they have a lot in common are ignoring Helena’s development and personality to turn her into the “girlfriend heals boyfriend” cliche (which I hate)

JayHarley: Bad idea. Not only does Harley have Ivy, but the only thing those two have in common is the Joker. I seriously can’t even imagine how this would even work

JayBabs: Again, the only thing they share is the Joker connection, and if people hated New52 RHATO because they felt that Lobdell was trying to turn Jason into Dick, JayBabs being canon would just make things worse

Jaysabel: While I have nothing against Isabel Ardila, I have to agree with others when they say that she’s a nothing character. Other than being a reference to Death in the Family, Lobdell has done little to make her stand out against other popular civilian love interest (ex:Linda Park, Iris West & Lois Lane) or even convince the audience that we should support their relationship. I even forgot that she was present in the Alien arc of New52 RHATO and she hasn’t done anything noteworthy in Rebirth RHATO. If Lobdell leaves and DC decides to continue RHATO with a different writer, unless some miracle happens, I have no doubt that Isabel will be forgotten.

Jaytemis: At the time I’m writing this, Jason x Artemis is still a rather new ship, maybe a little over a year or two since we learned that they’re even into each other. I again don’t think that Lobdell did a good job at setting up this relationship, as many RHATO fans before the kiss believed that the were strong friends, and afterwards, I’ve only seen a handful of RHATO & Jason fans support the idea of their romantic relationship, and many (me included) would rather they remain strong friends. It feels like Lobdell is coasting off of Wonderbats fans to support this ship instead of really working on making a believable romance, and I’m not positive that the relationship will start to pick up more traction even after Artemis & Bizarro return. However, while I’m not hopeful that Jaytemis will become a mainstay in Jason’s canon like Dickori, Dickbabs, Timsteph or *cough* Timkon *cough* there is a chance that if another writer wants to continue it after he’s finished, that it could become another mainstay Batship

Update: Upon learning that Jaytemis is Editorial mandate and Lobdell doesn’t actually care for it, I know understand why it feels so forced to me. Yeah, I have no idea if they’ll keep trying to make it happen after Lobdell leaves, but I don’t have a lot of confidence in it.

JayKara: with almost every prominent Batfam member having their own alien (often Kryptonian) friend. (Dick & Kori, Tim & Connor, Damian & Jon and Babs & Kara again) it was only a matter of time until something like this happened. However, I prefer Kara’s more friendly interactions with Barbara, and as of Rebirth, Jay’s kryptonian is (at least for now) a Bizarro clone named (?) Bizz by fans, though who knows if this (at the time of this post) current RHATO team of the Dark Trinity will become a mainstay for Jason’s life outside of the Batfam

JayKorr: Jason x Rankorr (Jack Moore). Mirroring JayKyle, but Rankorr’s philoshphy as a Red Lantern, as well as his storyline revolving around controlling his own rage and need for vengeance, these two can have interesting interactions if they were ever allowed to seriously interact. Jack Moore could be Jason’s boyfriend & reluctant superhero, since Moore does have a desire to be “normal”

JayAugust: If you’ve seen my Twitter, you’d know that I’m one if the many Godspeed fans who want him to crossover with Jason. Often called the “Red Hood of the Flashfam”, August’s belief that killing is a valid option when dealing with criminals, need for revenge since his brother’s murder, and troubled relationship with Barry given a different in the two’s morals (and Barry’s unwillingness to let August go on a Black Hole massacre/August believing that Barry isn’t using his speedster abilities to their fullest and would rather Barry step out of the way to let August do his job), draws some nice parallels between him and Jason, especially when it comes to their troubled history with the mentor figures. And given that every former Robin has their own speedster (Dick=Wally, Tim=Bart, Damien=Wallace), giving Jason one that fits his morals and way of going after criminals (at least pre-New52) would make the most sense.

Honorable mentions go to:

JayBunker: I’ve only seen two people ship this, but if Lobdell was finally allowed to expand the Outlaws (in a podcast interview he mentioned that Bat Editorial has rejected all of his attempts, which is why Rebirth RHATO is full of temporary team-up & why the Creeper is considered to be an Outlaw despite not showing up often and refusing their offer) and decides to make Miguel a more permanent member (and age him up a teensy bit) than I can see it

JayRose: Some believe that this would be the best canon option for Jason, but they haven’t interacted enough for me to be convinced that they’d be the best fit for one another. They’d be really close friends though if not lovers

Bizzjay: This makes me uncomfortable because canon has stated multiple times that Bizz is mostly inexperienced with the mentality of child (before he temporarily became more intelligent, and who knows if that inspires a change in their dynamic until Bizz & Artemis return is issue 40)

Redcrux: After reading Jasontod’s post, I can imagine it clearly and it sound really soft, funny, energetic and cute, the exact way that I like my ships. If RHATO was ever to reintroduce Crux as a full-time Outlaw (and maybe have a retcon were it was another alien like Lobo instead of Starfire indirectly responsible for the crash), I’d love to see him and Jason get closer

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dachi-chan25 · 5 years

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So i finally watched It chapter 2...

DISCLAIMER: So I know most of y'all don't like anyone to critizise anything u like, right of the bat I am telling u I did NOT liked this movie at all, there are changes I thought were good ideas but most of it was just plain terrible in MY opinion and I need to vent. If u share my opinión or find my rage amusing read on.

I had been putting off watching this movie, cuz in 2017 I enjoyed the 1st IT movie but I had a TON of issues with it (Mike's complete erasure, Stan being a completely different character, The Losers Club moments being sacrificed to cool sounding one-liners, WTF happened to Henry Bowers and Alvin Marsh, Bev being overly sexualized, etc, etc) so I was on the fence about this one. The cast is what finally caught my attention but then I heard very mixed reviews about it, and as I am starting on a new job I hadn't had the time to go and watch it til now and oh boy was I disappointed.

First off, we have to ask ourselves was Adrian Melon's murder scene really that necessary??? I understand what they used it for in the movie (to make a R3ddi3 reference /as a side note I do not care for the ship or any other IT ship tbh i write it like this cuz i don't want this post to invade the ship tag) but the characters involved are never mentioned again and it was too gratuitous (like we can have a homophobic hate crime, slurs thrown around all the time but we can't have the gay ship this movie was going for saying they love each other in a straightforward manner??? I know this is an unpopular opinion but I am not giving Muschietti props for doing the gay closeted ship for the 1000th time, if u were gonna do it go for it!!! Do right by the characters, hell in the book they get more tenderness and they are never explicitly gay, Eddie is heavily coded as gay or asexual and Richie is super bisexual) like my queer ass is tired of seeing gay ppl die in violent gruesome ways all the time.

While I love Bill Skarsgard's performance, the excess of CGI and all those jumpscares and strobe lights, actually take away from his performance, he is super scary and eerie when he is talking and even being friendly but super hillarious and plain silly when he is actually trying to be scary or when he is eating, it looked too wierd.

TBH whyyy was Tom Rogan in this?? Muschietti had already changed Alvin Marsh from being physically violent to being a sexual predator (everything they changed from Bev took away from her character, like we can have her smoking and flirting w Mr Keene but we can't have her teaching Richie how to use his yo-yo or winning in a fucking video game or drawing or anything that remotely has to do with her character) why was Tom necessary?? Hell we could have skipped that and have Bev in Kay's house telling her all that happened instead, I mean if he wasn't gonna die in the sewer why is he even a character? It was so easy to erase him and have Kay instead. Also how tf did Alvin survive???

Whyyy do that to Audra??? I fucken hate Muschietti, was it necessary to justify Bill cheating on her??? Nope, we could have simply have Bill not kiss Beverly and that’s it, also I am kinda salty Audra is not part of the plot.

Lmao Henry, like he fell on the fucken pipe and you could hear his fucken bones breaking and craking and he gets to get up and walk home????????? Whyyy y y , Muschietti ????

We never really got to see how deeply ingrained Pennywise is in the town, he is actually Derry. And if Muschietti thinks he fixed the wtf ending everyone complained about in the 90's adaptation he is on fucken drugs, this ending is super messed up and has nothing to do with the book or with anything at all, we never get to know what exactly is Pennywise, his true form it's a clown spider apparently or something cuz the death lights were there but not really ???

STAN was fucken robbed (again) last time he was completely ereased, he was physically there on the scenes but that’s it, his personality was null. And his thing, the thing that made him comit suicide was the fact that he was the one to see the death lights, the most logical and disbelieving of them faced something far beyond anyone's comprehension and they gave that to Bev?? And the death lights apparently gave her Final Destination abilities? ?????

Eddie was robbed. Of so so much. Muschietti fuck you. Frist off why isn't Eddie the CEO of some app like Uber like he was the Losers Club compass he was a great fucking driver, he loved sports (I actually got excited when they had this scene with the baseball game cuz i thought it was gonna be an Eddie scene but nope) y not connect that with this Token bs Muschietti pulled off his ass (this is actually a great idea, and could symbolize the Losers' lost childhood IF Muschietti had been assed to give them significance or something in part 1) His death scene. Just why? Why are his last words a cheap joke instead of a love confession, fuck it Muschietti if u wanted R3ddi3 have the courage to really do it (in the books the Losers take turns to carry his body out of the sewer cuz they will not leave him there, that's more meaningful than them diving) One of his most beautiful quotes is something Bill is writing??? Lmaoooo Bill wishes he could have thought up that (I love Bill but come the fuck on)

Why make such a huge deal out of B3nv3rly or r3ddi3 when the point of it all was that the Losers Club all loved each other, apart from whatever romantic feelings, they found a family in one another and they really erased that in this movie, I was like y are this ppl friends with each other. Mike drugged Bill, Richie was awfull to everyone, they barely had a conversation in the restaurant (biihhh the 90s miniseries does this better) and show no respect for Mike at all ( I mean I am not surprised cuz Muschietti has no respect for Mike as a character at all) or bill like nah son.

Stephen King cameo was there I guess, it was fine.

The Kiss me fat boy, of all things u could have taken from the 90's miniseries why that?????

Ben building the house club by himself ???? Bullshit, Muschietti ereased another great Losers Club bonding time and hate him for it.

MIKE, I AM ENRAGED. So Muschietti is braver than King for making R3ddi3 "canon" but he destroyed Mike's entire character and that is fine with y'all mmmmm. His parents were "crackheads" apparently cuz it's not like that is a stereotype black ppl have carried on for years on end, he did not go to school, he was not the historian but now he is cuz he had to stay and he is crazy and obsesive and drugs Bill and also stole from a native american tribe???? FUCK this so fucken much I hate it with all my being .

How does such a choppy movie manage to drag on forever??? Like there were still 45 Min left and I was bored out of my mind. Why is the final arc so bad??? Like some much stuff that could have actually gotten away with erasing (Paul Bunyan, whyyy it was so silly, it doesn't even work in the book, but fine like King was super high he barely remembers writing it, why take it to the big screen u should have sticked to him being afraid of clowns like u had already messed up) and added and could have added things that actually enriched the adaptation.

I just give up. Like if they do a 3rd one like it's rumored I won't see it, Muschietti clearly does not know how to be subtle or to have meaningful character arcs, he is just good for cheap jumpscares, one líners and yo mama jokes so I pass. I really hoped the up coming King adaptations are better than this one. That being said the movie had real fun/enjoyable moments, if this were not an adaptation I would have liked it a hella lot more than I did but alas nope.

#it 2019 #anti-it2019 #stephen king's challenge #stephen king's it #negative review #mike defense squad is on i guess #stephen has not a good sense when it comes to his adaptations #he hated the shining for much the same flaws this movies have #dachi fangirly rants #dachi rambles

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dcarevu · 5 years

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Christmas With The Joker

“It’s not relentlessly cheerful, is it?”

So, only one episode in, and they do a Christmas special. One episode into this series that they wanted to be dark, serious, and adult…and they do a Christmas special. A Batman. Christmas. Special. Huh. Well, it is becoming that time of year. So let’s sleigh right into: Christmas With The Joker

SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT

Villain: The Joker Robin: Yes Writer: Eddie Gorodetsky Director: Kent Butterworth Animator: Akom Airdate: November 13, 1992 Episode Grade: B This episode holds the distinction of being the very first episode of Batman The Animated Series I ever saw. I had seen Mask Of The Phantasm prior (which was a glorious place to start), and eventually Warner Brothers started releasing these Batman TAS VHS tapes each featuring a particular villain. My mom bought me one featuring the Joker, which included this episode, along with The Laughing Fish. I picked it out specifically because of the screenshot of the Joker wrapped up in his straightjacket shown on the back, and I assumed this was from his origin episode. I didn’t get an origin episode, but I did get a Christmas special that I now watch every single year. I absolutely love it.

I’ve always been someone that enjoys the darker side of Christmas. Carol Of the Bells. A Christmas Carol. That one Twilight Zone episode featuring a drunk Santa Claus that ends up making Christmas magical for everyone. It’s funny, because despite this, I very much enjoy the more innocent side of Halloween (think of cute Beistle die cuts or Scooby Doo). This episode fits right into this archetype, and maybe that is why I love it so much. Of course, this isn’t the only reason. We also get the first appearance of the Joker, voiced by Mark Hamill (yes, that Mark Hamill), and overall a very entertaining episode, Christmas concept aside.

So it’s Christmas Eve, and Dick Grayson (Robin) is home for the holidays. All he wants to do is spend the night relaxing to Christmas dinner and It’s a Wonderful Life, but Bruce isn’t about to let up his night watch just because of the following day. He just knows that something will happen, and right as he finally gives in to Robin’s movie request, we see that the Joker has somehow interrupted pretty much every channel broadcast, and is airing a Christmas special all his own. Featuring a kidnapped Commissioner Gordon, Detective Bullock, and Summer Gleeson, a news reporter (I had no idea it was her before reading it on the DCAU wiki. Kinda cool that it’s not simply some unnamed character!). Batman, aware of the Joker’s love of destructive games sets out with Robin to find his broadcast, and put an end to the Christmas Eve havoc. Throughout the episode he gets sidetracked by an exploding train track (done by the Joker of course), a barrage of cannonballs being fired straight into the city (done by, again, the Joker), and a barrage of Christmas-themed dangers at an abandoned toy factory. At the end of the episode, with the Joker found, and the kidnapped three dangling above a vat of acid, the Joker has Batman open up a special present addressed specifically for him (complete with bat wrapping paper). “Don’t do it, Batman!” shouts Robin, but Batman knows that it’s the only way to save the three and Gotham City as a whole. What’s inside? A pie in the face, what else? Immediately afterward, although Joker tries to run, he slips on a roller skate and nearly falls into the acid himself…but is caught by Batman on the way down. Everyone is saved, and the two heroes even get to finally watch their Christmas special in peace.

Let’s talk about the two big things with this episode: Robin and the Joker. The idea of using an older Robin was obviously a way to bring some realism to the character, and to not ruin the tone that they were going for. Robin is historically kind of a goofy character, and was meant to be a role model for the kiddies. Wanting to avoid specifically kid elements in their show, they used a college-aged Robin. I think it works sometimes, and not so much at other times. It is a little weird seeing such an old character wearing the Robin outfit, but they also made an effort to tone down the silliness of it a little bit. Thank god we didn’t get those little elf shoes and those freshly-waxed legs. While Robin’s usefulness varies throughout the show, I think in this episode they work pretty well together, and for an episode like this, it gives Batman someone to talk to, and introduces some comic relief. Hearing Batman referred to as a Scrooge and seeing him bag on Robin’s choice of movies is pretty funny, and I feel like these two have similar exchanges about Christmas as a lot of us do in real life. The action scenes with Robin were also pretty good, and I never really felt like either of them had nothing to do/were a damsel in distress. That’s the one thing about Robin that bugs me sometimes, and it wasn’t until much later when they got consistently good at having more than one superhero on screen at once, balancing everything out. I will admit, some of it did get a little too corny for my liking…particularly the way Batman would bark things like, “Easy, Robin!” But it also reminded me a little bit of the Adam West show in a charming way that I accept much more with a Christmas episode. So take these comments how you take them.

And the Joker? Fantastic debut. He’s funny. He’s menacing. He’s batshit insane. He’s charismatic. He’s everything a classic, definitive Joker should be. I love Heath as much as anyone else, but being a great Joker vs being a definitive Joker are two different things. I wouldn’t get rid of either of them, and I think they both perfectly represent the type of character they are meant to be. I think the Joker changed a lot throughout this show. He giggles unlike later in the series here, and he’s clearly mentally unstable in a different, albeit very fun way. But then there are moments like where he laughs in someone’s face because he knows that her mother is on a train that is headed straight for a blown up bridge. He’s that character that you love to hate, and as much as you want Batman to sock each and every one of those yellow teeth out of his mouth, you also can’t help but root for him to keep getting away just so that you get more of him. It is kinda weird for me picturing this episode’s version of the Joker with Harley, and Harley Quinn may be the main reason why the Joker’s personality changed a little bit and got a hair more serious. In this episode he’s like, well, a cartoon character. More than usual. He has a stylized personality as much as he has a stylized look.

When I mentioned earlier that this episode fits alongside a lot of the darker aspects of Christmas, to clarify a little bit more, it’s not just because you have a psychotic killing clown and a scary guy dressed as a bat. It also has the vintage aspect to it. You have the “dark deco” 30′s aesthetic already in place. Then you add the vintage-looking wintery landscape...the Nutcracker music...and even the dark, snowy city that almost makes me think of Victorian England. I think all of this creates the old-timey Christmas feel without shoving religious morals, or Santa Claus, or greedy marketing down our throats. It succeeds in being a Christmas special almost exclusively through vibes, and mention of it being the holiday. Okay, and Robin’s green and red pajamas are pretty festive as well. The DCAU would do a couple more Christmas episodes later, another one of them being Batman, and while this one is also great, it communicates Christmas in a vastly different way than this one, a way which is much more modern. Both can be great, but this is the Batman Christmas special I will come back to year after year.

As far as my girlfriend Char’s impressions, she really liked this episode too. As someone who has never seen a single episode of the DCAU before this blog, she said that she expected and was hoping for Harley Quinn, but wasn’t necessarily disappointed that she didn’t show up. Picturing a world of Batman TAS before Harley’s existence is something that I feel like we all sorta gloss over since it’s almost like she’s always existed. And while the show got better with her first appearance, I’m glad that they could do a solid Joker beforehand. Char loved the Joker’s representation, and was surprisingly very much in line with what she expected from the character. She said that he was very creepy, but in a very entertaining way. She also noted his design, particularly his color pallet (wait till she sees TNBA). Some more comments about Harley Quinn were made, and she’s scared for Harley after seeing what a maniac the Joker is. She ships Harley and Poison Ivy, something that I see a lot. I don’t necessarily disagree 100%, but, well, we’ll save a lot of that conversation for later.

An older Robin was something that Char was really into, and I got the impression that she never really cared for the super young Robin, as, well, yeah, it is kinda strange. Back when the character was introduced, maybe not so much, nut nowadays? Yeah. What the hell, Batman. Also, Loren Lester provides a voice that she always sorta pictures with the character, and again, she noted how definitive everything seemed.

Some other stray observations she made: She agreed with me on some of Batman’s lines being corny, but she also found them a little bit creepy.It was a unique Christmas special. Batman and Robin sorta feel like father and son, but only sorta. This is something the show will get into much more as we go on. She thought the Joker would make a hilarious game show host if he weren’t, well, evil. She noted how shitty the star on the tree at the very beginning was. Apparently Arkham Asylum needs a better interior decorator. And lastly, she loved the ending. As do I. It’s so unsettling, yet so perfect. Better than what I expected when I saw the screenshot on the back of the VHS as a kid. Char’s grade: B

Major Firsts: The Joker, Robin, Summer Gleeson, Arkham Asylum, Xmas episode, we see the Batmobile has a TV, a musical number (The Joker sings) Next time: Nothing To Fear

#dcau #dc animated universe #batman #batman tas #batman the animated series #the joker #christmas #xmas #christmas with the joker #robin

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ciceroisthefamilycat · 3 years

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My Fiery Heart reread response (my Indigo Spell one here, my first-time Fiery Heart one here from 7.5 years ago)

before I get into it, I remembered looking up the Iolanthe coven name Sydney used; that wasn’t something I looked up until after reading it the first time though, so I didn’t realize the fairy court connection to Sydney recommending Zoe do her literature assignment on Midsummer Night’s Dream... I’m very certain it was an intentional reference to that opera now (even though the purple flower meaning was enough on its own)... if they get around to adapting this one, I half want to see Amberwood Prep put on a production of MND where Jill is helping with the costumes and Zoe gets to play Titania or something; I never got around to reading Richard III (Zoe’s original pick) but it’s interesting that free will/fatalism is apparently a major theme, and that Richard contrived to have his brother Clarence sent to the Tower of London...

also, I’m not sure if I cared about “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane all those years ago, but I got a thrill seeing it referenced this go around.

we get the first namedrop for Cicero (though we had heard about his propensity for killing birds and some other mention in the earlier BL books ETA, 7/19: “My family had a cat back in Utah that I was pretty sure was more responsible than Angeline” pg 31 TGL

Anyway, gosh Sydney makes bad decisions in this one. And it’s not because she has too much to do- she has no real outside strenuous challenges to protecting Jill or her group this go around. The friend group actually had to decide “yeah let’s go hunt down a Strigoi in LA” for there to be a major action scene. I realize she’s in her late teens and the burdens put on her are unfair, but she’s a great example of someone who thrives under pressure and falls apart when she’s given too much free time.

The switch to dual narrators was unnecessary. It wasn’t bad, but it was clearly only to set up for the big cliffhanger at the end, and so feels a bit pointless in this one. Btw, Rose didn’t lose her spirit link into Lissa’s mind after Lissa went on antidepressants. Now admittedly, the chemicals in Adrian’s mood stabilizers would have probably worked differently, or maybe Richelle was trying to retroactively make things more consistent (since alcohol could affect the bond), or maybe it was “Adrian and Jill’s bond is less established, so Jill can’t break through like Rose could”... but the sudden decision mid book (with no repercussions- Adrian doesn’t even bring it up to Sydney to be like “hey, one of your main concerns about having sex is taken care of”) is so pointless and really goes to the minimal page-time of the larger ensemble. I said it the first time I read the book, the absence of Kristin and Julia, and Micah, and even more important characters like Angeline or Trey is so frustrating. I realize Richelle couldn’t write a book that was 900 pages long, but I would have gladly taken any of those characters instead of the completely unnecessary Terwilliger/Malachi romance. Especially to see Jill’s reaction to getting to be a more typical high school human, since I think she would have gotten even more attached to Amberwood than Sydney did. I also just... really, the Alchemists decided to have Sydney’s bio sister on campus... pretending to be a cousin... while she was playing sister to Jill? I get they kind of backed themselves into a corner, but weird. That being said, I was happy to have Rowena and Cassie around. (give me Adrian and Rowena being wlw besties excellence to make me really happy)

Sydney’s coven initiation taking place in chapter 2, then she meets Inez (who gives her the books on charms)... and we never see a witch other than Jackie again in this book? Honestly, why bother with writing the initiation at that rate? I still like the cloak they made Sydney though. On reread, there’s the randomest bit where Trey’s like “is Neil even really British” and I wonder if that was a dropped storyline where Neil was faking. Olive and Nina are still pleasant characters, and I liked that they had a “unique” background, but knowing how those stories end was kind of a buzzkill on reread. Olive, especially, deserved better.

This is another one where I forgot quite a few events- Adrian getting drunk and the pawnshop (I think I remembered that obliquely, but not so much on it), or the trip to Texas (which actually came before the pawnshop but oh well). I was happy to finally get some actual Christian content again, although I regret we didn’t get more from Sydney & Rose or more Sydney & Lissa. On Adrian’s mental health storyline... I am less impressed by it than I was the first time (though I didn’t remember being super-impressed, but according to my first review?). I do actually like Adrian being insistent, once he’s started taking meds, that he’s going to continue, but the diagnosis of bipolar disorder doesn’t actually feel like it fits? I will say, I find Adrian’s “chicken or egg” pondering over whether spirit causes mental illness or mental illness means a predisposition to specializing in spirit is fascinating (though it’s probably for the best Richelle never actually answered it).

The way Adrian spoke (or thought) about Zoe really pissed me off. Like, one, you’re an adult, stop antagonizing the sister of the girl you like and just be cordial (which is less suspicious than suddenly acting like you and Sydney don’t get along at all), and two... Adrian’s super protective over Sydney after realizing the emotional abuse Jared heaped on, but somehow doesn’t realize that this fifteen year old has been spending time with said father’s attention solely focused on her for ages now, and he has no sympathy for her? Instead of seeing Zoe being like “Sydney shouldn’t have to provide for you all the time” and being like “aww, that’s a nice protective sister instinct even if she needs an attitude adjustment” he taunts a 15 year old about drinking from her the way he did to 20-something actual-predator Keith. He could have engaged yet another Sage sister in talking about his awesome car on the drive over, or at least made other good faith efforts.

The dabbling stuff made me more uncomfortable this time around (I think). Especially Sydney comparing her getting Keith’s eye ripped out to Adrian’s assault of a human girl... that was some real false equivalency on Richelle’s part. But other parts of it, like “oh here comes Adrian to save the day and at least he’s changed from these guys he used to hang out with (oh, look at that convenient statement that even back in the day Adrian wasn’t on the same level of bad as them)” was really frustrating, or the fact that Adrian was very deliberately withholding information from her in his own chapters and it made me question his trustworthiness in her chapters. Or the “oh, hey, he made the concession of getting treatment for his mental illness, so all is forgiven” handwaving. Like, Richelle brought this in to be an obstacle to their relationship, but it’s addressed so quickly (with maybe a pittance effort of later being like “oh, at least Adrian didn’t take advantage when Sydney accidentally absorbed some Moroi endorphins- he learned his lessons!) that it doesn’t merit the actual consideration of so important a topic Idk. I do feel like I enjoy the Sydrian relationship more in this book than the others, but I also have some huge issues with it.

Adaptation-wise, I think genderbent Adrian would definitely mean a change to the dabbling storyline (yes, women can be sexual predators, but I don’t think this storyline would be maintained with different social expectations). Honestly, give me an Adrian who, instead of having victimized someone, doesn’t immediately fully grasp how upsetting this idea of vampires preying on her species (and risking exposure) is to Sydney... Adrian being like “it isn’t sexual, those guys would never consider sleeping with a human” but the consent even to give blood still being critical to Sydney. And you know what? Let Lissa “compelled a guy to almost hit himself over the head with a baseball bat for molesting a Feeder” Dragomir have a spirit freak out moment of rage and go off on these subjects of hers the way that was deserved (and then once she cools down, maybe she can’t punish them fully, but she uses it to leverage their royal families’ agreement to the Family Rule amendment). And just finish that law by the end of the season, so that when the Alchemists pull out Sydney and Zoe, they’re actually closing down the whole Palm Springs operation in a rage. (if I remember correctly Alicia kidnapped Jill between books 5 and 6, but that was a stupid plotline imo- let Sydney and her coven take care of Alicia in the downtime of this book instead) Let Rose figure out that Sydney and Adrian are in love- she’s smart and she would pick up on that; let her celebrate them and encourage them to be happy together. Also the “Sydney and Adrian get three days at an inn to sex it all up” was stupid... like I’m happy for them but am I really supposed to buy that they could afford all that time away from Palm Springs?

As bad as I feel for Syd, and Adrian, and Eddie, and Jill, and Jackie at the end of TFH, I do remember that I’m going to feel worst for Hopper. I’m sorry that demon dragon Calistana has my heart and I remember one scene from Silver Shadows featuring the little guy prominently...

#I'm a VA girl

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ladyofstardust · 6 years

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Portions for Goblins

Word Count: 7k

Rating: T

Summary: In which Sarah finally puts on her big girl pants and Jareth learns the rules of the game.

Notes: Apartment-verse fic. Directly follows Gaping Head Wounds. I’m also posting them over at Ao3 in order if you’d prefer to read that way.

When you love somebody and bite your tongue all you get is a mouthful of blood - The Fruit Bats

Sarah paced her living room apartment. Occasionally muttering to herself in between sips of her drink. It had been weeks since her concussion and Jareth had kept to his word, staying in her life and dropping in as he normally did. But he’d pulled back massively. It was odd. Their conversations felt stilted and full of unsaid words. She didn’t like it, she wanted her Jareth back, the one who was a giant dork and who would happily share a blanket with her while they went through her DVD collection. The one who argued with her over historical events and who left empty tea mugs all over her apartment.

This was a Jareth who wouldn’t sit near her, and who declined her offers of tea. He came to board game nights and spent more time talking to her friends than to her. Previously she could barely get him to acknowledge Hoggle’s existence, now suddenly they were best friends.

Sarah’s friend Laurel was stretched out on her couch, flipping between the channels as Sarah wore a path in her hardwood. Laurel and Sarah had gone to college together and had remained as close as two women could be when one of them slept in a bed of lies.

That is to say, Sarah had been telling a lot (like, a lot ) of fabrications of her life to Laurel for many years and was presently struggling on how to explain to her friend her current problem. But she was nearing the end of her second glass of wine and Laurel was losing patience with Sarah’s “dramatics” as she liked to put it.

“Okay Sar, is this about Jareth?” Laurel finally said, muting the TV. “You only get this worked up when it’s about him.”

“Don’t phrase it like that,” Sarah muttered, continuing to pace. “But yes, somehow everything is always about him .”

“Oh I know why!” Laurel said raising her hand, as if in a mock question period. “It’s because your dumb ass is in love with him, has been for years, and those chickens sure as shit have come home to roost.”

When Sarah had brought Laurel in on her life, she’d simply told her Jareth was an old friend who she’d had a big falling out with years ago. They’d recently reconnected over mutual friends and had gotten close. She mentioned once that Jareth had a thing for her and left it at that. For some reason she’d never mentioned any of her other friends to Laurel. They never needed explanation because Sarah just avoided mentioning them referring to them by the catchall term “my friend”. Jareth, on the other hand, always seemed to require an explanation. Laurel thankfully still lived in Upper Nyack with her parents, so she’d always had a convenient excuse for why they’d never met.

“Hey lay off, I get enough of that from him and I don’t need it from you too.” Sarah said pointedly.

“Whatever you weirdo,” Laurel said, helping herself to her own glass of wine. “We both know you’re going to go there eventually. But you seem particularly agitated about him this time soooo maybe try the whole ‘tell your friend what has you acting like a crazy person’ thing? I hear it has its perks.”

“Well you’re not wrong, it is about Jareth,” she stalled.

“So you’ve said.”

“So this one is tricky because I think this one might fall on my shoulders and I don’t want to deal with that,” she said.

“Well no,” Laurel said, taking a sip. “If you wanted to deal with it I wouldn’t be sitting here drinking all your wine.”

“Oh nothing for it,” Sarah replied with a sigh, plopping herself down on top of Laurel’s feet at the end of her couch. “I messed up bad. Remember how I said I would absolutely never be getting involved with Jareth?”

“Let me guess,” Laurel replied rolling her eyes, “you got involved with Jareth.”

“I didn’t exactly get involved with him so much as I’ve been casually making out with him for…a while now.”

“Oh?” Laurel said with a raised brow.

“Yeah, oh. I intended it to happen just the once but then…goddammit that asshole knows how to kiss Laurel. It’s like he knew that I’d get addicted, which I’m not ruling out that he’s done something to make me want to kiss him like this, but whatever I’m here now I guess.”

“Okay, so you want to kiss him, he’s been chasing you for said kisses, so logical conclusion states that this is a good thing.”

“Well for starters you know why I don’t want to want to kiss him,” Sarah pointed out.

“Yeah but, you do,” she said with a shrug, as if the answer was of little consequence. “So let’s not waste time talking about what you want to want because that could take a while and I gotta go soon. Is your problem that you two are making out and you like it? Or that you want to know what to do about it? Either way you asked the wrong friend, I’m just gonna tell you to bang it out until you can’t walk straight and then you know, fall in love, get married and have a couple of ridiculously good looking kids.”

“Yeah this was helpful,” Sarah replied sarcastically, downing the last of her glass of wine. “No, weirdly that is not my problem. I mean, it is my problem but I’m handling it. My problem is that at my company New Years party, Jareth basically laid out in plain terms just how much he means to me and all I could do was stutter about liking things the way they were. So he says he wants to put some distance between us, which I handle … poorly, for some reason. I don’t see him for weeks and then he hears about my concussion, and immediately rushes to my bedside. At which point, high as a kite on painkillers, I tell him how much I want him in my life but I still keep a line between friendship and relationship and it’s a thin line, but the line is there. Like for god’s sake Laurel, he read me Persuasion until I fell asleep.”

“Dang dude,” Laurel replied.

“I know!” Sarah exclaimed. “But anyways he’s started coming around more since the head injury, and he’s being weird. Like won’t look me in the eyes, treats me like basically a stranger, is clearly spending time with me out of a misplaced sense of obligation, weird. Which I friggin’ hate . I just want things to go back to the way they were. Where we could just be friends and hang out and still be close.”

“Wow your ass is dumb,” Laurel said, giving Sarah a shove with her foot. “Like what the absolute dicks Sarah? How could you have possibly just said that to me and not heard a word of it?”

“What do you mean?” Sarah asked confused.

“Well for starters, your waffling ass has been in a relationship with this dude for what sounds like a while now, whether you realize it or not.”

“I’m not dating Jareth!” Sarah protested.

“Ok, but see, you are .”

“Please explain how I’m dating him when he won’t even sit on the couch with me anymore.”

“Sure let’s go through this,” Laurel said sitting up straight. “First of all, you guys go on dates. That’s a pretty big one.”

“We went on one date and that was a joke,” Sarah interjected.

“Not true,” Laurel corrected. “You guys have been on plenty of dates whether you ‘count’ them or not. Just because you’re sitting on the couch watching the movie and not at the theatre doesn’t make it not a date. I can count the number of ‘proper’ dates Eddie and I have gone on with one hand,” Laurel said, in reference to her long term partner.

“Well we’re not sleeping together,” Sarah argued.

“What about your friend Julia - she’s asexual and she doesn’t sleep with her girlfriend,” Laurel pointed out. “Does that make their relationship not real?”

“Well that’s different,” Sarah said dismissively. “That’s how they choose to define their relationship. Jareth and I aren’t asexual, and besides, they do other stuff to feel close to one another.”

“Other stuff like say, cuddling up on the couch together? Or going on dates? Or taking care of one another when they’re sick? Or spending the holidays together?” Laurel teased.

“I see where you’re going with this, but your point is moot,” Sarah said with a sigh. “At the end of the day, Jareth and I are free to date other people and do not consider ourselves as dating let alone in a relationship. It doesn’t matter if you think the ‘facts add up’ or whatever because that is not how we define our relationship.”

“Okay, so then how would you define it? How would you explain Jareth to someone you’re on a first date with?” Laurel asked.

Sarah thought for a second, raking her hand through her hair. Laurel was being kind by avoiding pointing out that Sarah hadn’t really been on any dates in a while now. Definitely for as long as Jareth had been in the picture. There was Andrew sure, but he hadn’t lasted long and when Jareth had started to factor in, things went predictably screwy. There were a few questionable late night chats and meet-ups with one old friend of hers, but she’d avoided mentioning him to Jareth. To his credit, if Jareth was spying on her full-time (which, Sarah really wished someone else would acknowledge that this was not really a concern in other relationships), he’d never mentioned it or acted differently around her because of it.

Similarly, she had no idea if Jareth had anybody in his life that might fill a partner role or even if people in the Underground went on dates. Or if they just held giant bacchanals during the feasts and let those chips fall where they may. She’d never asked, and frankly didn’t really want to know either way. If he did have a woman in the Underground, then that made everything that was happening with her so much worse. It would confirm her worst suspicions; that he only ever thought of her as a prize to be won. A silly human girl that was no more than a flash in the pan of his life. Still, it seemed the easier path sometimes.

“Jareth is…foreign,” she said carefully to Laurel. “There are different standards of affection where he comes from. I don’t think he’d disappear if I had a serious relationship. Nor do I think he’d hold it against me in any way. I think he almost expects me to get bored of him, marry someone else, and settle down with 2.5 kids in the suburbs in a few years.”

“Well…that’s pretty sad,” Laurel said solemnly.

Sarah hadn’t really thought about it that way before. She didn’t really see it as sad so much as an inevitability of hers and Jareth’s incompatible lives. He had to know they had no long term potential and if he didn’t he was kidding himself. Sure she could stay with him for the rest of her life, but he would never get to spend his life with her. It was a huge reason why she wanted to stop before they could start.

“I wish I was the kind of girl who could just say to hell with it. But I don’t know how to be that person. There’s so much there Laurel, and if I go down this path, that’s it for me. I know it is. Jareth will be the last person I ever love if I let him in and I’m not sure I’m enough.”

“What fucking garbage - you can’t possibly think you’re not enough for him. The man clearly is enamoured with you. To the point where I’m mildly concerned he might be your stalker, but you seem to actually want him to be your stalker so I think both of you need just boatloads of therapy.”

“Well there’s a true statement if I ever heard one,” Sarah acknowledged. “I blame Linda frankly.”

“Oh cool are we at the point where we shit talk your mom? Cause I am always down to shit talk Linda,” Laurel said brightening. Laurel’s patience with Sarah’s mom ran out the day she graduated. Her dad had given her a handshake and a one armed hug, her mom had shown up completely coked up, and spitting vitriol about Sarah’s life like she was on commission. Sarah had cried and Laurel helped her sneak out of her own graduation party to drink wine in the park. It wasn’t the first time her mother had disappointed her, but it was the last time she let it cut so deep.

“Well it’s not like my dad and Karen have been shining examples either,” Sarah argued.

“They seem happy enough,” Laurel replied.

“Maybe,” Sarah said with a scoff. “But their entire life depresses me just to think about. Karen’s fulfillment is wrapped around my dad, Toby, and her home. She’s always gotta be better than her sister Irene, or better than the ladies of the PTA, or better than someone. She loves my dad and brother to the point of erasing her own identity. Did you know she was a paralegal? She had a career and a life and now she’s just someone’s wife and someone’s mother. That makes my skin crawl.”

“I think that’s needlessly harsh,” Laurel said. “I doubt you’ve ever asked Karen whether she’s happy. She seems to really like her life. Just because being ‘just a wife and mother’ makes you want to vom doesn’t mean that everyone has to have your viewpoint. Also that’s not what we’re talking about here.”

“I’m just saying that the people who are supposed to be my best example of a successful relationship features hollow suburban nonsense and a woman who ditches her family to play professional groupie.”

“Yeah well, we don’t get to pick our parents and you get the hand you’re dealt. Linda’s garbage, but your dad tries with you. That’s way more than most people can say. Also he paid for all your schooling which is way nicer than my parents.”

“Your parents actually love each other and are nice hardworking people though,” Sarah argued.

“Yeah but love doesn’t pay off my 65k debt, and don’t give me that ‘nice hardworking people’ shit princess. Your dad works his ass off for you and your brother and you could stand to be a little more grateful to him.”

“He paid because it was expected of him. I’d rather have a dad who I could talk to once in a while than one who just writes a check, and I hate when you call me Princess,” she complained.

“Listen Sarah, we could go real deep on your childhood here but most of your problems could be solved if you’d actually talk to Jareth properly. You can’t close your eyes and pretend the elephant in the room isn’t there, because then the elephants gonna stomp all over your shit,” Laurel said, grabbing her coat and shoes. “I gotta go but text me if you need anything. Next time when you’re not so stressed out I’m going to want details - details of the kissing variety.”

“Ugh,” Sarah said raking a hand down her face. “He kisses like someone who’s trying to fight me with his mouth, and it’s fucking great and I hate him.”

“Frankly I’m just impressed with your self-control,” Laurel said laughing.

“Yeah let’s just say it’s one of the harder parts of it.”

“Oh I’ll bet it is,” Laurel said wiggling her eyebrows suggestively, quickly closing the apartment door before the pillow Sarah threw could hit her.

“UGH,” Sarah shouted again, flopping backwards onto her couch again. “Whyyyy me?”

“It is safe to come out yet?” a familiar voice spoke from behind the couch.

“Oh no Hoggle!” Sarah cried, horrified to find her dwarf friend crouching behind the couch. “I thought I did a sweep before Laurel got here.”

“I just came by to get my hat,” he said, holding up his little cap. “I didn’t realize you had a guest an’ you locked the mirror so I just hid back here till she left. She sure is loud.”

“Yeah she can be,” Sarah said with a smile. “It’s just Laurel. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were here when I locked the mirror down. Did you hear everything we talked about?”

“Errrrrr,” Hoggle replied, running his hat through his hands.

“Gonna go with a yes then,” Sarah sighed. “Since you did hear, did you have any opinions on the current state of the union as it were? How do you feel about this new weirdness?”

“Er, well, it’s not really my place…” Hoggle said trailing off.

“Well then what about Jareth? Do you have any idea what’s going on there?”

Hoggle tried answering Sarah, opening his mouth to start before seeming to hesitate and then closing it again.

“Yes,” he finally said.

“Yes?” Sarah repeated.

“Yes.” Hoggle affirmed.

“Well yes what?!” Sarah cried, really starting to get at her wit’s end.

“Yes I know what he thinks about all this. There’s stuff I can’t tells ya, anything the king gives us a direct order for or things that would be considered secrets of the crown and all that.”

“I’m not a secret of the crown Hoggle,” she said not unkindly. “I’m a person who’s caught in between two worlds and there’s a man who’s doing his damnedest to pull me into his.”

Hoggle simply shrugged. “Don’t know what to tell you Sarah, you know as well as I do that Jareth likes keeping things close to his chest.”

“No wait,” Sarah said, perking up. “I just have to ask the right questions. Jareth would only privilege the stuff he thought I might ask you guys about. Or that you’d want to tell me. But there will be loads of stuff he didn’t think was important to hide.”

“Oh no,” Hoggle said shaking his head. “I’m not getting bogged putting myself in the king’s romantic life, not again! No sir, not me, no kisses - no bog!”

“Please Hoggle!” Sarah begged. “I’m real desperate here.”

“What if I saids he was in love with ya Sarah?” Hoggle snapped. “What if I said as far as he’s concerned ya hung the moon. What then?”

“I don’t...then I’ll know.” Sarah said, lamely. “I don’t know, I hadn’t gotten that far yet.”

“Well maybe you ought to look where you’re going before you start walking,” Hoggle said gruffly.

“All I wanted,” she replied, flopping back onto her couch. “Was to meet a nice boy. Maybe we’d go to dinner, he’d buy me flowers, we’d meet each other’s families and then I could build something of my own. Something not filled with fame hungry mothers and workaholic fathers. But no, enter my byronic hero in a mass of glitter and broken electronics.”

“Yer full of bog Sarah,” Hoggle snapped and Sarah was slightly taken aback. Hoggle never snapped at her. “Ya had lots of chances to get rid of him and all ya did was open your door wider. Even now yer complaining to your friend about him not being around as much.”

“Well of course I want him,” she whined. “But Hoggle, if I date him that’ll be it for me. I won’t ever be able to meet that nice boy and have something of my own. I have to decide if I want him more than I want a normal life or the chance of a family.”

“He ain’t askin’ that,” Hoggle reminded her.

“Of course not,” she said waving him off. “But he doesn’t have to and he knows it. If he asks that of me he’s unreasonable and pushy and I’m right to be mad at him. If he asks that then suddenly he’s isolating me and rushing us to the finish line which is insane. So he won’t ask. Besides what could he possibly say? ‘Date me for a while and let’s see if this works out’ - no because Jareth wants me to say I’m his forever. Which as much as you guys may try and spin it, still works out to quite a while .”

“Then maybe ya should talk to him about it and not your friend Hoggle who was also perfectly happy living the life of a nice quiet gardener,” he scolded her. “S’not like I wanted any part of this story neither but here we are.”

“Oh yes,” Sarah repeated. “Here we are indeed.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, with Hoggle drinking his soda and Sarah fiddling with her empty wine glass in her hands. She knew she could ask Hoggle the Right Questions and he’d answer her. Not because he was bound like he was with Jareth, but because he was her friend. It felt wrong to put him in danger, however trivial it may seem to her, just for her own peace of mind. Besides he was right. It didn’t matter if Jareth wanted to listen to her or not, and it didn’t matter how many times he said he wasn’t asking for forever, they were still gonna have to have that Big Feelings Talk. She already knew if she flipped a coin which side she’d land on.

“Tell me Hoggle,” she finally said. “When Jareth asked you to come here today, did he explicitly tell you to spy on me or was he just hoping that’d be a nice side effect of hiding your hat behind my couch?”

“Err,” Hoggle stuttered. “Don’t know what yer talking about…”

“Bull,” Sarah said with a small smile. “Jareth sent you for reconnaissance because he is both predictable and dumb.”

Hoggle nervously twiddled his hat in his hands. “Please Sarah, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to do it!”

“Oh please,” she said waving him off again. “Like I just didn’t try using you the same way. No we’re both dumpster fires and frankly should probably not date anyone because we’re not great at the whole ‘good person’ thing. Anyways it’s fine, tell Jareth whatever you like, I’m not going to ask you to keep my secrets too. Also he knows all this already so if anything I think this will just make him even more insane.”

“Yer both insane if ya ask me,” Hoggle grumbled. “Never heard of two people so in a twist bout likin’ each other.”

“If there’s one thing I know about Jareth and I, it’s that we don’t do anything by halves.”

“Ya know that at least,” he said rolling his eyes. “Can we go now?”

“Yeah, go on,” she sighed.

Hoggle hopped off her couch and headed back towards the mirror. Sarah was about to turn on Netflix and lose herself into the thousandth rewatch of the Jim and Pam’s casino night kiss, when Hoggle popped his head back out from around the corner.

“Well? Ya comin’?”

“Coming where?” Sarah asked, surprised.

“To see the king. Y’all are gonna sort this out and I’m gonna go hide in my hut before either one of ya can decide ya want my help again.”

“Ughhh fine,” she whined, shaking out her limbs. “Okay let’s do this before I lose my nerve.”

Sarah and Hoggle stepped effortlessly back through the mirror and into the Goblin King’s castle. Sarah knew the main floor of the castle reasonably well at this point. The layout was constantly changing of course, but the rooms seemed to stay more or less the same. The throne room was always the easiest to find as it was expected most visitors would pass through it. Therefore it was impossible to leave the castle without entering the throne room at least once. But oddly, Jareth wasn’t there this time. Normally when she came by the castle she barely had to walk three steps before glitterbutt showed up. They wandered around for a few minutes before landing in front of a big fancy looking mahogany door. Most of Jareth’s fixtures were pretty old and weather worn, so this was a bit of a departure.

“That’s his personal study,” Hoggle answered her unasked question. “I can’t go in there. Not allowed. Good luck to ya. I’m fryin’ up some fairy wings for dinner if ya want to join, you know, after.”

It was only months of practice that kept Sarah from wrinkling her nose at the idea of eating fairy wings. “No thanks Hoggle, I’ll leave you to it. Next time you come by I’ll have a whole plate of your favourite corndogs for you as thanks.”

Sarah waited until Hoggle was well out of sight before approaching the door. She normally just went where she pleased in the castle, but this was different, this was Jareth’s space. He may walk in and out of her place like it was an extension of his kingdom, but that didn’t mean she got to do the same for him. Sarah didn’t think of it as a double standard so much as she was trying to model appropriate guest behaviour.

She gave a sharp knock on the door and heard him call to come in.

Sarah pushed the door open carefully, unsure of what she’d find. She’d never been in any of Jareth’s private rooms before so for all she knew it was just going to look like the inside of a disco ball. She briefly considered whether she should have brought sunglasses before realizing how ridiculous that was. Namely because his room could not have been less sparkly.

It was, to Sarah’s surprise and happiness, just the perfect representation of Jareth himself. The room was somehow both warm and cold at the same time. There was a large desk facing away from an enormous bay window. The desk was made of the same wood as the door and looked like it had been around for it’s fair share of Kings and Queens if the dents and scratches that covered it were anything to go by. Everything on the desk was stacked neatly in piles, a sharp contrast to Sarah’s own work desk which could generously be considered cluttered. There was a series of quills lined up neatly on the front of the desk and Sarah made a note to buy him a jumbo pack of ballpoints next time she was at Office Depot.

Bookshelves lined the walls of the room, some only half full, others stuffed to the brim. There was a comically large fireplace on the left side of the room that was warmly blazing even as all the windows were thrown open to let the cold air in. There were two large squishy looking armchairs and small tables positioned next to them, both of which had stacks of books on them.

The walls were panelled wood, another departure from the usual stones. There were also a number of very fancy portraits of what Sarah assumed were important Underground figures at some point in time. Though none, she noted, of Jareth himself.

Sarah walked across the large threadbare carpet towards the desk and plopped herself down in one of the leather wingback chairs in front of it. Jareth hadn’t taken his eyes off of whatever he was pretending to read to acknowledge her presence, but Sarah knew it was just for dramatics. His eyes weren’t even moving to scan.

“Sarah,” he said, after a minute had passed. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I came to talk to you,” she said with a shrug. Her palms were sweating like crazy and Sarah was trying to keep her leg from jiggling with nerves. The more relaxed she appeared the more relaxed she’d be.

“About anything in particular? Or couldn’t this wait until Jenga on Sunday?” Jareth said, not meeting her eyes. He never met her eyes anymore.

She’d already decided not to mention Hoggle. She didn’t want him getting in trouble and she was pretty sure outing him as Jareth’s spy would do that.

“I talked to my friend,” she said, running a hand through her hair. Already regretting not brushing it before coming. “Who told me to talk to you.”

“Which friend?” He said, finally laying his reading down atop a perfectly orderly pile.

“Laurel, we lived together in college for a while,” Sarah replied, getting up from the chair. She was too restless to sit anyways. “I’m going to ask you this point blank and I guess you don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to but it’d go a long way in terms of clearing some stuff up for me, so you’d do me a solid by giving me a simple yes or no here.”

“Sarah?” Jareth said, with a sigh. “Will you please tell me what has got you wearing a hole in my floor?”

Sarah realized she had started pacing again and gripped the back of her chair to keep from moving.

“Do you want to date me?” she finally just blurted out. “Like I mean, do you actually really and truly, want to do the thing where we are in a relationship, and go on dates, and slowly learn about each other to determine if we have long term compatibility?”

“I should think the answer to that was obvious by now,” he drawled.

“Well it’s not!” Sarah cried in frustration. “If you were a human - yeah it would be obvious! But you’re not and we have a history, and it’s all screwed up because I never know if you’re trying to start fresh or if this is just the long con to get me to say yes to that stupid final plea you made. I don’t know if this is real or just another game and I’m just miserable .”

To her relief, she hadn’t teared up when she said it. She was so worried about crying in front of Jareth, she never wanted him to know just how hard she warred with herself. She didn’t want to give him that power over her.

“This is truly upsetting you isn’t it?” He finally said.

“Well now who’s being obvious!”

Jareth stood up and walked in front of his desk. Sarah noticed that he wasn’t wearing shoes and she found the idea of Jareth taking off his shoes to cozy up and relax in his study quite charming.

“Sarah,” he said beginning to stroke her messy hair. “To answer your questions, yes. I want to date you. No, I do not see this as a continuation of my final gambit. That proposition was forfeit the moment you won. A good thing too, you would have been very unhappy had you accepted. It was not as above board as I might have made it seem at the time.”

“Well that part I know,” she said giving him a small smile. “But I do owe you a massive, big time apology. I took you as my date to that work thing partially because of the reasons I told you that night, but there is also a secret reason, which mostly comes down to I wanted to bring you. Because even while my head is screaming to run far and fast…I still want you. I still want to take you to work stuff and introduce you as my boyfriend. I still want to curl up under a blanket with you and I still want to kiss you.

“But!” She quickly added, before Jareth could get any ideas about said kissing, “I also want a house with it’s own library. I want to do things like take photography lessons, or go to improv classes. I want to learn to speak French, I want to live in a foreign country, I want to hang glide and skydive. I want a big fluffy dog named Gandalf and I want to write a book. I can’t do any of those things if I choose you. I’ll get other things, some things I don’t even know I want yet, but before I can commit to what you’re asking me…I have to decide I want you more than I want those things and I don’t know if that’s true right now.”

“I have never asked any of that of you,” he said seriously. “Except the dog. Please no more dogs.”

“The thing is Jareth, you don’t have to ask. It’s just kind of part and parcel with you. That’s not fair, but that’s the way it is. You have to live here and you have to be the King of the Goblins. It ties our hands a bit.”

Jareth walked over and plopped himself down in one of the armchairs by the fire. He beckoned her over and Sarah plopped down into the other chair beside him. Jareth shot her a look and Sarah sighed, walking over to his chair and shoved him over so she had room to sit without being entirely on his lap. She tucked her legs up under her and rested her head on Jareth’s shoulder while he patiently continued stroking her hair.

“It’s a self-defence thing,” she finally said quietly.

“I know,” he murmured.

“I know I can’t have both, but I just miss you all the time and I hate that,” she said, playing with a loose thread on his shirt.

“I’m happy to try and give you both,” he offered. “But I suspect it would not be quite what you’re looking for.”

She shrugged, just content to sit where they were right now. It had been so long since she’d been close to him like this. Sarah normally tried to avoid getting in his personal space this way or letting him in hers, but it hardly seemed to matter anymore.

“I could give it up,” he said, so quietly that Sarah wasn’t sure she heard him.

“Give what up?” she asked.

He raised an eyebrow and looked around the room. Sarah took in a sharp breath. She hadn’t realized that was even an option.

“What…would that mean?” She said carefully.

“Well…I’d be banished. I would not be allowed in the Goblin Kingdom again and possibly the Underground as a whole. The High Court would rule on that. Odd are good as well that I’d be stripped of my magic…and as a result my immortality,” he said evenly, watching for her reaction.

“Why?” Sarah asked, genuinely confused. “I can kinda see not being allowed back in the Kingdom, but it’s not as though you did anything wrong.”

“It’s not that simple I’m afraid. If I remained Underground, I would always pose a threat to the current Goblin Monarch. There would always be those who were loyal to me first, and would see me as the true king. I wouldn’t be given the iron sentence, but they’d want to remove me as much as possible from the situation. As for the magic and immortality…well our kind don’t survive terribly well Aboveground for long periods anymore. There’s too much iron in your world and it would slowly kill me. Whether or not they’d bother to remove my immortality is debatable as they might simply decide to let nature take its course. I could easily live fifty years without showing any symptoms but that’s a relative drop in the bucket for us. My magic is tied to the Goblin Kingdom and the Labyrinth and while magic is considered a ‘right’ for my kind, it is similarly seen as a betrayal to surrender one’s throne. The High Court takes a dim view of those skirting what they consider the highest calling our kind can achieve. They might remove it for a hundred years as punishment but by that time the iron poisoning will have claimed me and I’d be dead so it wouldn’t really matter,” he finally finished.

Sarah was appalled. He’d presented the option so calmly and evenly that it was as if he was considering different options on a dinner menu. The mere idea that he’d considered such a drastic course of action for her was enough to rattle her.

“Like I’d ever let you do that,” she scoffed, until she noticed that he wasn’t kidding around. “Oh my god you’re serious?”

“Perfectly serious.”

“Why on earth would you ever do that?” She said, her shock coming through.

“In effect I’d be human,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We could live in that house with the library. We could live in Berlin even, I could teach you French, and you could take your photography classes and whatever this improv thing is. You would be able to write your book, you could even write your story here - with some detail changes, if you like.”

Sarah closed her eyes and sighed. For the first time she allowed herself to imagine just being with Jareth. She pictured waking up in their brightly lit bedroom with the big french doors, and rolling over to see him sleeping next to her. She imagined reading the paper with him at breakfast and discussing whether or not they had to go to the hardware store this weekend to replace the fixtures in the bathroom. She imagined their beautiful home somewhere in Tuscany or Prague or Stockholm. She’d never told him that the thing she wanted to write more than anything was about the Underground and her experiences with it, but he’d already known somehow. It was such a wonderful thought - she figured she could even talk him into a dog. Maybe two, one named Gandalf and one Dumbledore. They’d have a little spare room where all her friends could come hang out if they wanted and have the best board game collection in town. Every year they could host Christmas and her dad would come and chat with Jareth about the economy or something, and Karen would compliment her on her roast. Toby could study abroad in college and live with them for a semester. Even her mum would visit and spend the whole time hitting on Jareth, which she’d take in stride because she’d know her life was perfect now.

She opened her eyes. It was a beautiful dream, but it was just that, a dream.

“Jareth,” she said, patting his knee. “Just like I don’t know if I can give everything up for you, I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to give everything up for me. I’m not worth that.”

“Do not presume to tell me what is and is not worth it Sarah,” he said irritated. “I think you’ll find that you’re very much worth it to me.”

“I don’t want that either though,” she clarified. “I want us to be equals. I don’t want to constantly feel like I owe you the rest of my life just because you gave up yours for me. Just like I don’t want to come down here and make you feel like you owe me yours. Or that my whole life is you.”

“Then I’m not sure what you want,” he replied.

“Exactly,” she said, pleased he was finally beginning to understand. “This is hard, and complicated, and filled with the political rules of a world I don’t understand the first thing about. But it’s also not just about us. It’s also about Hoggle, Sir Didymus, Ludo, and every single one of those soap eating goblins that is constantly terrorizing my home. We can’t just fuck off to Vienna or wherever and leave them in the lurch. They’re innocent bystanders in whatever this is and despite my first impressions, I have it on good authority you’re actually a great king. It would be selfish in the extreme for both of us to disregard that.”

“So what is it that you’re saying then?” Jareth asked, and Sarah heard the apprehension in his voice and saw the way he nervously strummed his fingers on the armrest. His tells were so obvious it was a wonder how she never noticed them before.

“I’m saying,” she said taking a deep breath. “That your decision to read that particular passage in Persuasion was a good one.”

“Half agony, half hope,” he said.

“Yes indeed,” she nodded. “Half agony, half hope, half Underground, half above, and half sitting in your lap. We are truly the Escher Room of relationships”

They continued to sit in silence like that for a little while. Sarah wasn’t quite ready to go home. She finally felt like they might be on the same page and he might understand why she wasn’t so ready to jump into his arms. Though one thing was still bothering her.

“Jareth?”

“Mmm?”

“Would I ever be able to be here? Full-time? Would the High Court even accept me as your … what? Consort? Friend? Pet?”

“Do not call yourself by such derogatory terms,” he grumbled. “If we are to be together you would be my queen. Nothing more nothing less.”

“But would I? I mean, I’m a human and your High Court doesn’t sound much better than my government at the moment.”

“Quite,” he replied, mouth tightening into a thin line. “If I were anyone but the King yes, we could have a problem. But I am so there is not. I rule my own realm and I am judge and jury for the affairs therein. Kings and Queens have taken humans as their consorts or co-rulers for many, many generations now. There are still those who are quite prejudiced toward humans, and the idea of marrying one sends them into fits about purity, but I try not to spend time associating with those types outside of needs must.”

“Okay just checking,” she said, leaning her head back down on his shoulder.

“Sarah if I am King, then you would be queen,” he repeated.

“But could we swim like dolphins could swim?” she said with a grin.

“I…suppose? I could talk to the Undersea…” he said, confused.

“No, doofus it’s a David Bowie song,” she said, playfully poking him in the ribs. “He’s next up on your required listening sheesh.”

“Oh yes I’ve heard a few of his records and I don’t much care for him,” Jareth replied, wrinkling his nose. “Too much going on for my taste.”

“Oh boy, that sure is a mighty fine black pot you got there in that glass house, sure would be a shame if someone were to throw a stone through it,” she said, with a teasing drawl.

“Curious then that rather large rock you have in your hand precious,” he said with a smirk.

“All the better to bring that home crashing down,” she shrugged. “It’s kind of my thing you know.”

“Yes well, ask Hoggle sometime about the rebuilding of the Goblin City post Sarah Williams invasion, I’m sure he’ll have quite the tirade for you about never doing that again.”

“You remembered his name!” Sarah exclaimed, delighted. “You never remember his name!”

“Of course I do,” Jareth waved her off. “I know all my subjects names.”

“Liar,” she hissed, giving him another sharp poke in the ribs.

“It’s hardly my fault if they don’t remember their own name,” he replied, unconcerned. “But he seems to have picked it up after spending a bit more time in my presence.”

“Yes, it would appear he has,” she smiled. “Thank you Jareth.”

“For what?”

“Just for being there. I know I don’t have a solution for us yet but I’m working on it. Also please note the use of us in that sentence. But I know now that I need you in my life just as much, if not more, than any of my other friends. As aggravating and infuriating as you are, you always make me feel…home and it’s been a long time since I had one of those,” she said, and she realized as she spoke it how true it was. Her apartment hadn’t felt right since he’d stopped coming in and messing everything up. There wasn’t the same amount of glitter wedged between the floorboards, and nobody had left piles of dirty dishes in her sink or stole her highlighter in ages.

“Right, come here,” he said, grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her fully into his lap. “Tell me not to kiss you.”

“Don’t kiss me,” she said quickly, feeling the words leave her mouth. But then she felt her hands cupping his face. Letting her thumb lightly graze the hollowness of his cheeks. It was all of it at once, the seeing of his soft smile, the smell of him, and then him kissing her - in that truly crushing sort of way. Where the feeling of his lips on hers was nothing compared to the way her heart clenched. As if it was trying to hold so tightly to that last shred of resistance that it ached. An ache that spread through her body and settled right in her core. If her breathing was haggard, it was because so much energy was being devoted to not responding in all the ways her body wanted to respond. The flush was from trying keep herself from letting her wants eclipse her needs. Though she also couldn’t withdraw. Push him away? She’d never known how, not really. At least never intentionally. No, she knew better, she said better.

But what she did was kiss back.

Their last kiss had been public, new year’s eve in front of the rest of her office. It barely counted as a kiss. Sure Jareth never did half a kiss, and even his laziest efforts could still be considered knee weakening. But there was something about the way he kissed her when he knew that he could take his time.

She knew that it would always be that quick. Like it was the most natural and easy thing in the world to be here, curled up in the Goblin King’s lap, kissing him like it was nothing. One moment of weakness and recklessness and that was all it took. Hoggle had it right. She hadn’t walked, she hadn’t run, she’d jumped. She just hoped the fall wouldn’t kill her.

#labyrinth #labyrinth has ruined me #my ownsome #fanfiction #apartmentverse #sarah was basically raised by wolves and boy if there aren't some spiders in there #jareth is...the same #also sarah is still working on that whole taking things for granted thing #but really wishes her friend wouldn't equate money with love because that kind of thing fucked her up for a long time #and frankly it's the only path she's ever seen her mother take so it doesn't make her feel great overal #and if you think she's being a bit hypocritical later when she imagines her dream life you'd be right!#but it's different because it's her you see as every 20something ever has justified to themselves #sarah's self-awareness only goes so far #sidenote i have like a piece in this story that is set probably about a year or so into their actual relationship that is like 20k #and i kinda want to post it now?#but also kinda feel i need to finish the stories that come before it first #idk thoughts anyone?

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livingwithashipname-blog · 7 years

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Ermanda’s Inner Sanctum: Scorpion 3.15 “Sharknerdo”

This is a really great episode for the cyclone in their respective circles. Callie is heating up, Sly is gaining ground for his campaign, Quintis have a heartfelt moment with Happy’s insecurities, and Waige have a much needed discussion about their relationship. Toby is annoyingly hilarious and time on the high seas feels like a scene from Jaws. Developments in this episode share several parallels with past episodes. For example, the tech for this mission parallels that used in 3.06 Bat Poop Crazy and Paige defers to Ralph’s forestry braves training to create a makeshift telescope in order to assist in a rescue as she did in 2.13 White Out with knots. Let’s explore more, shall we?!

But first, here’s a song... Shark In The Water by V. V. Brown

Sylvester Dodd for West Altadenia Alderman!

Sly is really settling in his new role as a prospective politician. He is so serious about his efforts to win that he cock-blocks Cabe to stop him from fraternizing with “the enemy” aka. Allie. However, Allie helps Sly gain some ground in exposure by sending Patty Logan, West Altadenia Shopper reporter, to interview him. Sly is so assertive in this episode during the mission and with Patty. She gets a front-row seat to see what makes Sly a great candidate as she watches him work. And it all pays off because he gets the endorsement! I am really proud and happy for Sly! I can’t wait to see more of his political journey!

Callie (Cabe x Allie)

YOOOOO! This ship is on fire! Someone call the fire department! Cabe isn’t like the rest. He isn’t wasting any time with Allie. He has already forgotten his wallet at her place. Allie is more than happy to pass by the garage to return it to him. Cabe gives Allie a sultry look before they head to dinner. And Allie went from shy shuffling to a swift, sexy strut when she walks towards Cabe! Work honey! And they are together just in time for Valentine’s Day! 😍😍😍😍

Song Inspiration: Heartburn by Alicia Keys 🔥🔥🔥

The Waige Flip Climax

A series of unfortunate events gives Walter and Paige an opportunity to communicate with one another in order to alleviate the tension that existed between them since Tahoe. Up to this point, Walter and Paige have been busy trying to be civil with one another that they never took the time to renew their friendship. This affected them as individuals. But a moment alone on the high seas gives Walter a chance to speak his truth and Paige to explain her motivations.

Remember that Paige has implemented a new “sink or swim” strategy with Walter, one she got from her mother. It involves stepping back and giving Walter space to use the tools she has provided and fail trying in order to learn to pick himself back up again on his own. However, Walter expresses distaste in this approach. He doesn’t understand why Paige would separate herself from him when he hired her to “hold his hand” as a liaison and because they are friends. He even threatens to dock her pay. However, we know (well, scratch that… I can’t speak for everyone cuz that isn’t the case) that Paige has no malicious intent. Paige is not defensive in her response. She clearly acknowledges that she has been distant on purpose, but explains that she did this because she wanted to try something new to help him since she strongly believes in his potential and the work she has done since she joined the team.

By the end of the episode, Walter realizes that Paige uses this tough love approach because she cares for him and his EQ development. He truly admires this because no one has ever done this for him. He even thanks Paige for making him a better man despite his flaws before he executes a plan to save her during their rescue. These moments of revelation parallel 3.06 Bat Poop Crazy where he uses a story about parental abandonment and grief to introduce a different perspective. It shows mastery of concept from an EQ perspective. I will never tire of seeing moments like this from Walter because it adds to his EQ potential. Paige learns that her approach needs an adjustment: she can give him space but should remain close for assistance when necessary since complete separation makes Walter feel isolated. Thus, in return, she obliges to assist Walter (not hold his hand) during his apology tour. She also establishes a restorative clause for their relationship. They agree to renew their friendship and place their differences behind them. The reason they are able to do this is because they share their perspectives with one another and learn from what is said. Also notice that her actions in this moment parallel those in 2.23 Chernobyl Intentions & 2.24 Toby or Not Toby by innocently choosing their friendship over Tim. Welcome to a new chapter in The Waige Flip!

I would just like to say that I called all of this before spoilers. Yes, I am bragging on myself a little bit. Read the receipts from ermanda’s inner sanctum! And it looks like the answer to my question, “who comes for Paige,” is Walter!

Side note #1: Once again Walter lies and sacrifices himself to save others and, by extension, uphold the greater good. This is one thing that remains ridiculously consistent with Walter O’Brien! And my heart soars every time I think about this. Dagflabbit, where’s the tissue?!

Side note #2: Around this same time last year (starting with 2.14 Sun of a Gun), Walter conducted an experiment to sharpen his social skills using speed dating. We met Linda whom Walter dated for a short time. Yet, it felt like Walter was subconsciously preparing himself for the true object of his desire. And Paige wasn’t feeling it when Happy questioned her about it. AH… parallels!

Walter & Happy: Robotic Parallels

I find it interesting that Walter states he can recognize when someone is distancing him/herself from him even though he has no EQ. He first said low and then shifted to none, nada, zilch, zero! 😂 Yet, he proceeds to recall moments from his past, expressing how he feels about isolation. His assessment of his EQ ability contradicts his actions in that moment. This is important because it is a clear picture of a low-EQ genius who is capable of expressing visceral emotion but can not recognize the depth of his own ability even though it is not a part of his usual nature. We see another example of this with Happy Quinn in 3.11 Wreck the Halls when she explains that the purpose of her gift is to give him positive reinforcement because can’t always give it to him. It makes me wonder how many ways this will be revealed to the audience this season and future ones and when these characters will accept and acknowledge this the more it is revealed to them by others over time.

Quintis & Happy’s Vulnerability

At the beginning of that end scene, the line, “pirates chase treasure; gamblers chase money,” makes one think that she is going to question Toby about gambling like she did in 2.18 The Fast & The Nerdiest. But it transitions to this: “So what if it’s the chase that’s kept you on your toes with me? Once we’re married, the chase is over, the high is over, and then you’ll get bored.” Can I get a what the what?! Happy Quinn is so in love with Toby Curtis that she worries she will lose him once they’re comfortably married. I am always floored by Happy’s vulnerability because it shows growth. Happy Quinn never ceases to amaze me! Granted, a visible touch of the face would have been a great addition to this scene, but I am overjoyed by Happy’s smirk! And this honeymoon wardrobe is growing but it’s Happy who adds to the festivities this time! Btw, can we all agree that Toby appreciates the booty?! He has admired Happy’s behind at least once every season (1.09 Rogue Element, 2.05 Super Fun Guys, & now 3.15 Sharknerdo)!

Again... Toby, You Good?

You had two gambling mentions thrown at you and you were disappointed about no contingency pay for breach of contract. So when are you gonna tell us about the depth of your personal woes? Do you need someone to come for the “University of Bruno?” I patiently await your response.

I wonder if Toby’s approach to his issue will parallel Happy’s approach with her secret from last season in the sense that he doesn’t disclose full details because he’s trying to protect Happy and the team. Remember it’s different for him because he tells Happy that he still has gambling debts, but he doesn’t disclose the depth of his financial woes. There are things we still do not know. Hmm... So intrigued by the foreshadowing of these developments.

Drabbles...

I am advocate for proper designations. Why did Joan Davis refer to Toby as Mr. Curtis?! That’s Dr. Curtis honey! Don’t get it twisted even though Toby is being quite the annoying man child. And now I sound like Happy in 2.24. 😂😂😂

Toby: Maybe [Walter & Paige] turned their treasure ship into a love boat. You know what I’m sayin’? Open water, no one around, Tim in Qatar. Happy: Zip it, Toby. Quit clowning around. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Happy is so not having it with Toby and his jokes! She constantly keeps him in check! Love it! 😜😂😂😂

Walter and Paige managed to find new shoes once they hit the water! 👀😂😂😂

T: How do you know that? Cabe: I was a marine... as in mariner, maritime, related to the sea. T: I don’t like condescending Cabe. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Paige: What?! Walter: You heard me. P: You must have sun stroke. W: Oh, I-I... yeah, fact stroke. The fact that I’m afflicted with low EQ. P: Tell me something I don’t know. Me: Oh snap! This is getting good. 😯👀

H: Sly, I got the buoyancy data! Sly: (stares at writing pad, then looks at Happy) Let’s do some math. Me: YAAAAAASSSS! 😂😂😂

As much as I loved seeing Toby save Walter “pirate style,” a part of me is still wondering when these guys got all their upper body strength. Is Toby still boxing? Is Walter working out and we don’t know it yet?

If you look closely, you can see the microphone wire outlined in Eddie’s jacket during the end Quintis scene. 😉

T: You are the treasure that I have been hunting for my entire life... You keep me on my heels. I’m never gonna be bored by you. H: Good. Me: *swoons forever* 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

I love Happy in a jean jacket! It’s Toby-esque and it symbolically fits her mannerisms in this episode. If you’ve been following these reviews, then you’re already familiar with my jacket theory for Happy Quinn. A jean jacket is firm, yet breathable. It has more movement than a leather jacket. That’s what we see in the episode: focused during the mission, but open and vulnerable with Toby.

The look Walter gives Paige when she sits next to him... 👀😍😍😍😍😍😍

#ermanda's inner sanctum #cbs scorpion #s03e15 #sharknerdo #scorpion cbs #team scorpion #episode review #livingwithashipname

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junker-town · 7 years

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MLB Draft: The all-time team of players who switched positions after being drafted

We deserved a world with Eddie Murray catching and Manny Ramirez playing third base.

Everyone in the majors was a pitcher, shortstop, outfielder, or catcher when they were in high school. Give or take. If you’re playing first base in high school, that means you’re probably not as good of an athlete as the kids playing center, short, and catcher. And right. And probably second and third base. If you’re playing with five different teenagers who are better athletes than you, that probably means you’ll need to be the best hitter on the planet if you want to star in the majors.

You’re not the best hitter on the planet.

Sorry.

That’s why the MLB Draft is littered with position changes because usually the best athletes rise to the top. It’s why before Amos Otis and Hal McRae were two-thirds of a pennant-winning outfield for the Royals, they were high school shortstops drafted in 1965. It’s why Trevor Hoffman will make the Hall of Fame, even though he was an awful shortstop.

Our job today is to make the best possible team from all the position changes in draft history. And by “best,” I mean “most amusing to me, a horrible person who needs chaos to survive.” I’m not trying to make the best team. I’m trying to make the funniest team that would have a chance to score 1,000 runs.

That team would go like this:

Catcher - Eddie Murray

Like I wrote up there, there are a lot of high school catchers who were drafted and moved immediately. They were the best athletes on their team, but the scouts didn’t like them behind the plate long term. Murray was one of those.

He was also one of the most exciting prospects of the ‘70s. He was drafted as a 17-year-old, and he didn’t stop hitting until he was 40, reaching the majors when he was 21, and methodically swatting his way to 500 homers. He was a fine first baseman.

What this article presupposes is that he stayed behind the plate. So I’m a gonna lop off 150 home runs from that career total, just because of the aches, pains, wear, and tear. I’m also going to change him from a consistent 30-homer guy to a consistent 20-homer player for the same reason. Shave some points from his batting average and on-base percentage ... give him fewer 160-game seasons ... heck, we know that he isn’t going to steal 110 bases in this alternate reality.

I ... I think I just described Matt Wieters.

Catching is the worst.

But for this team I have a powerful switch-hitting catcher. I’ll assume he would have been fine defensively because he would have been in catcher boot camp since he was a teenager, and he was a pretty good athlete. He just wouldn’t have been a Hall of Famer.

Honorable mention:

Dave Parker, Dale Murphy, Paul Konerko, Jayson Werth, Justin Morneau, Joey Votto, and Josh Donaldson

First base - Mike Piazza

I almost went with Tim Wakefield. It wouldn’t have been the best choice offensively, but in my alternate reality he still learns the knuckleball, and he would have been like the Shohei Otani of long relief.

Which didn’t seem as exciting when I typed it out. So we get Piazza.

All of those demerits for Murray’s career? We get to add home runs and batting average. Instead of a .308 career average, I’m going to make him a .318 hitter. Instead of 427 homers, he has 600. And instead of an iffy defensive catcher, he’s going to be a super-iffy defensive first baseman.

I guess we could swap Murray and Piazza, but ... no, no, this is far more fun.

Honorable mention:

Rick Honeycutt, Tim Wallach, Luis Gonzalez, Tim Wakefield, Giancarlo Stanton, Christian Yelich

Second base - Coco Crisp

There just aren’t a lot of good players who were drafted with a listed position of second base. Chase Utley was the most notable, but for the most part, it’s an uphill battle for kids who weren’t athletic enough to wrest control of the shortstop position at Iona College.

Crisp gives this team some speed and slashing. Looking at his stats and remembering his defensive prowess, someone, somewhere, made a very good decision about his career. That .912 fielding percentage at second base with 24 errors in Rookie League probably helped the decision make itself.

Honorable mention:

Buddy Bell, Danny Tartabull, Russell Martin

Shortstop - Jim Thome

NOW WE GET TO THE GOOD STUFF. It’s hard to remember Jim Thome as a third baseman because we’re so used to his years as a first baseman. But he played third for six years, and he was generally okay. Just not as good as Matt Williams.

Imagine an 18-year-old Thome, hitting .237/.314/.296 while making 15 errors at shortstop for the Gulf Coast League Indians. He must have been so skinny, so spindly. There’s no way he could have been America’s Baseball Dad back then, even if he was clearly America’s Baseball Dad before he turned 30. He was moved to third base the next year.

In this scenario, Thome sticks at shortstop.

HARGROVE: Alright, Jimmy. You’re my starting shortstop. And Omar, you’re at first.

VIZQUEL: Skip, I appreciate you thinking outside the box, but I have a minor suggestion. What if ...

HARGROVE: I’m the manager, and I’m not going to repeat myself. Now get out there.

THOME: lol owned

HARGROVE:

There were a lot of contenders for this spot, and I was tempted to go with Tim Raines. Heck, I wonder if Chet Lemon becomes a Hall of Fame candidate if he sticks at short, and I have a sneaking suspicion that Mike Schmidt could have handed the position, too. But I think we’ll all agree that Thome is the funniest choice.

Honorable mention:

Gene Tenace, Amos Otis, Hal McRae, Bobby Grich, Mike Schmidt, George Brett, Willie Randolph, Chet Lemon, Wade Boggs, Paul Molitor, Tim Raines, Eric Davis, Bret Saberhagen, Jeff Kent, Chipper Jones, Jorge Posada, Adam Jones, Ian Kinsler, Dustin Pedroia, Justin Upton, Mookie Betts

Third base - Manny Ramirez

As a single tear rolls down my cheek, I proclaim this to be the most beautiful vision I have ever seen. Imagine the 1995 Indians, scoring 1,000 runs and allowing 1,000 unearned runs in the same season, with Thome at short and Manny at third. We deserve this alternate reality.

Alas, while he was drafted as a third baseman out of a New York high school, he never played an inning of infield in the minor leagues. We’ll just have to close our eyes and imagine what it would have been like.

JOE WEST: Now just how in the hell did you break the base clean in half like that?

RAMIREZ: [shrugs]

Come back, alternate reality. Come back!

Honorable mention:

Dwight Evans, Lou Whitaker, Cal Ripken, Devon White, Jose Canseco, Mike Greenwell, Jeff Bagwell, Jason Giambi, Matt Holliday, Pat Burrell, Mark Teixeira

OF - Todd Helton, Bill Russell, Michael Young

Here we find one of the strangest truisms of the MLB Draft: When you’re drafted as an outfielder, you stay in the outfield. Apparently, there just aren’t a lot of opportunities for kids to show off their infield prowess when they’re drafted as an outfielder.

My methodology went like this: I searched the Baseball-Reference database for players drafted at each position. I would sort by WAR to get the major leaguers at the top, look for players out of position, and then move on to the next year.

I did this twice for outfielders because I was absolutely certain that I had missed someone. But I’m pretty sure I didn’t, which means that outfielders almost always stay in the outfield. Infielders might move out, but it’s very rare for outfielders to move in. Huh. That’s a draft tidbit that I didn’t know about, and I’m giving it to you because I’m not sure what to do with it.

If you can find a flaw in this search, please, let me know in the comments and give me a better out-of-position outfield. As is, it’s pretty athletic, I guess, and Helton has that quarterback’s arm in right.

Honorable mention: Dave Stieb, Jason Kipnis

P - Dave Winfield, Mark McGwire, Buster Posey, Jack Clark, Mark Trumbo

I had to cheat a little with this one, taking some players who were drafted as pitchers out of high school but didn’t sign. When you have a player like John Olerud who could be drafted legitimately at either position, the team announces their decision when they draft him, and that’s generally the end of that. There are exceptions, such as Winfield, who was announced as a pitcher, only to make the majors two weeks later as an outfielder. For the most part, though, when a two-way threat gets one of those ways amputated, it doesn’t grow back.

McGwire went to USC instead of the Expos, where he would have pitched. Posey would have been pitching with the Angels, probably in relief. Jack Clark walked 19 batters in 15 innings while hitting .321 with power, and the Giants figured that one out pretty quickly. Trumbo was drafted in the 18th round of the 2004 Draft as a pitcher, but he appeared in his first pro game in 2005, as a first baseman. I’m guessing either instructional league wasn’t very kind to his pitching, or the Angels knew where he was playing all along.

I do want a simulation that lets us see how well these players would have hit if they were full-time pitchers. They would have been awful, probably, because even the best-hitting pitchers are awful. The best comparison for what would have happened is probably Ken Brett, who is one of baseball’s all-time best what-if stories. He was a great hitter for a pitcher, but he could have been a great hitter for a hitter if someone, somewhere, pushed him down a much different career path.

Honorable mention:

Brandon Belt, Ryan Klesko, Charlie Blackmon, Jermaine Dye, Brad Wilkerson, Bake McBride, Adam LaRoche, Nick Markakis, Howard Johnson, Dave Kingman

Would this team have been one of the best ever? It would have the funniest infield defense ever, I’m pretty sure. And they would probably sock a few dingers, especially when the #9 spot came up. My idea of heaven is a place with a computer that can run these simulations, and it would take me about 200 years to get sick of it.

COMPUTER, tell me what Dave Winfield’s career would have been like if he pitched.

As is, we’ll just have to guess.

Pretty sure we were robbed of Manny at third base, though. Pretty sure someone needs to pay for their crimes against baseball.

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