#Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

[drrhobertashaler]

Dealing with Hijackal Lies: Pathological & Natural https://ift.tt/YwX6uga

#IFTTT #Save Your Sanity - Help for Toxic Relationships

[creepzkilla]

Jahaiahaiahajajs I'm so glad your back!!!

I have an idea for you >:)=

Can I request some of your darkest headcannons for the Proxies? Like what are their toxic traits, it can sfw or nsfw or anything but the request is basically how dark and evil can they be?

I hope this makes sense and you don't have to do it, it's only of you're comfortable!

↳˳⸙;; ❝ HOW DARK ARE THE PROXIES? HC'S! ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗:

★Tumblr relies on reposting, please repost my work.★

tw. warning— mentions of self harm, mentions of aggressive actions, mentions of verbal abuse, mentions of physical abuse, mentions of sexual ordeals

[A/N]— theme change?!??? pls let me know if u guys wanna be tagged in the next post! also i wanted to do the pastas as realistic as possible… should i make a post on how the proxies + others met their lover😴 or just my general hc’s?

THE QUESTION ITSELF IS FUNNY—

the proxies are slashers— murderers. psychopathic, deranged men that are hardly short of completely and utterly insane. their sanity-if they have any- is practically none besides possibly a sliver of humanity. if anything, they aren’t even men— they were resurrected from the pits of hell itself and placed on this god forban world. the atrocities that these men have commited rightly earns them the title of not men— but demons. their sinful actions could never be erased, not even if they bathed in the waters of Babylon. the screams, cries, the sobs of their victims as they carry out their orders doing god knows what to them, will forever be ingraved into their very being. not even god can save them from their damnation— if anything god is laughing.

SANITY IS NOT SOMETHING OF LUXURY FOR THE PROXIES—

it’s something that fought for. everyday, it’s a constant battle for control—the continuous thirst to satisfy the need to kill. not to mention the the operators hold on their minds, making them carry out heinous missions consisting of nothing but death and blood. their minds are plagued with nightmares of what they have done, on repeat like a broken record, replying over and over. yet, behind the insanity, the malice, the control over their minds, they have regained just a sliver of sanity. it’s not like they want to kill—but they have to. for the operator… for this urge. little by little, they begin to feel like an actual human being. but it’s not like you know anything.

TOBY ERIN ROGERS—

is the most far gone. since the operator took over his mind at such a young age without much resistance , he has the pleasure of sculpting toby’s mind into the perfect cast. despite the most—insane, he’s the one that hangs onto his sanity the strongest. almost like he’s able to flip it on and off like a switch. yet, the line between sanity and insanity draws very thin, so he can’t help it when… it slips sometimes.

Self-Destructive Tendencies: Toby's self-destructive tendencies, which are often associated with his character, could negatively impact the relationship. This is either emotional or physically. He may engage in self-harm or reckless behaviors, disregarding the well-being of you and causing them emotional distress and constant worry.

Emotional Instability: Toby's own emotional instability could create an unpredictable and volatile environment within the relationship. His mood swings, anger outbursts, and tendency to lash out verbally or physically could cause you to constantly walk on eggshells.

Explosive Anger: Toby may have anger management issues that result in explosive outbursts. He might have difficulty controlling his temper, leading to verbal or even physical aggression toward his partner. This behavior creates an environment of fear and intimidation.

Jealousy and Insecurity: Toby might struggle with feelings of jealousy and insecurity, leading him to exhibit possessive behavior. This could manifest in him constantly questioning your actions or relationships with others, even if there is no real cause for concern.

Over-Dependency: Toby may have a tendency to become overly dependent on you, relying on you for emotional stability and validation. This can lead to an unhealthy dynamic where he becomes possessive or overly clingy, causing his partner to feel suffocated or trapped.

HOW FAR WOULD TOBY GO—

well, he certainly wouldn’t go far enough to hurt you, no, never. he is specifically always careful not to harm you, especially during sex. but that wouldn’t mean that he would hurt you emotionally or mentally. his favorite punishment is ignoring you. he’d shun you for days on end in your shared apartment, just to teach you a lesson which is very rare. physically, he treats you like a delicate glass doll that could break at any moment. during sex, it’s almost like he’s afraid to touch you. he doesn’t want to corrupt you like the way he is… he wants to preserve your innocence, and your being, and because of that, he would do anything to protect you. anyone who would ever do you wrong would soon come under his hatchet in the most painful way imaginable.

Dark and Evil level: 6/10, Moderate, just "protective"

TIMOTHY WRIGHT(MASKY)—

is in a constant fight for control, more so than the other proxies. In Marble Hornets, it is referenced that he may have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). because of this, he comes into the separate entity known as Masky during blackouts. the operator has stalked timothy ever since he was a child and anyone else he came in contact with. the operator is setting his sights on timothy so young he can influence him just enough to do his bidding. of course, timothy hates the operator and works against him, but after so long, after all the pain and blood, he’s just too tired to fight back anymore. Masky, hates this. he hates that timothy gives up too quickly. during missions, a blackout is typically triggered, giving Masky complete control. and so soon enough Masky became tired as well. and then killing became second nature.

Controlling Behavior: Tim, overwhelmed by his own insecurities and paranoia, becomes possessive and controlling in his relationship. He constantly questions and monitors your actions, isolates them from friends and family, and exhibits manipulative behavior to maintain control.

Emotional Withdrawal: Tim, due to his secretive and guarded nature, may struggle with opening up emotionally to his significant other, that being you. He might withdraw from sharing his thoughts and feelings, leaving you feeling neglected or shut out.

Jealousy and Possessiveness: Tim's loyalty and protectiveness towards his friends, particularly towards Jay, might manifest as excessive jealousy and possessiveness in a romantic relationship. He may feel threatened by your interactions with others and attempt to control or isolate you.

Neglecting Emotional Support: Tim's own emotional struggles consume him, leaving little room for providing adequate emotional support to his partner, you. He may dismiss your concerns, minimize your feelings, or fail to offer the empathy and understanding you need, leaving you feeling unheard and invalidated.

Anger Issues: Tim/Masky occasionally displays violent and unpredictable behavior, driven by his internal struggles and external pressures. In a relationship, this volatility could lead to outbursts of anger, creating an unstable and potentially harmful environment for you

TIMOTHY AND MASKY WOULD NEVER HURT YOU—

not without reason. mentally or emotionally, timothy understands human emotions, despite not having any himself. yet, when he’s around you, everything changes. suddenly, he can feel again, suddenly, he has the strength to fight back. you are everything to him. the only good in this hell-bent world. he needs you, and he can’t let you leave him. so you can’t blame him when he starts chewing nicotine gum, “claiming to quit cigs.” you can’t blame him when he stops taking his gum out when he kisses you, “he forgets to.” you can’t blame him when suddenly all you want to do is kiss him. but it's not enough, no, no, no. he needs to make sure that your, 're addicted to him, completely and utterly infatuated with him. so, you can't blame him when he starts wearing nicotine patches, "the gum just wasn't working." you can't blame him when he starts placing the patches on you when you're sleeping next to him. you cant blame him when you practically breakdown when he leaves you, only for a few hours. you cant blame him when you feel a pinch on you arm during sex, when he stuck the nicotine patch into your arm without you seeing, saying that "oh darling its nothing." you can't blame him when you've become addicted to his presence and cock. no you don't understand, you really just can't blame him, he wants to keep you safe, really, he promises.

Dark and Evil level: 8.5/10, Very high, obsessive and insane.

BRIAN THOMAS (HOODY)—

has the most grip on reality. like tim, he has blackouts to which he comes into the separate being known as “Hoody”. also like Tim, he hates the operator. at first, he resisted, refusing to carry out those abominations; its heinous fantasies of mass destruction. except he was more willing than his counterpart, timothy. brian is calculating, he's a smart guy, he understood what would happen to him if he disobeyed the operator. the most excruciating torture that anyone has ever gone through. proxy brainwashing is no joke. he's not stupid, so that's why he's played the long game. do the operator's bidding until he's able to conjure a plan, it'll only be for a few, just until he can figure out how to get out of this hell space. soon "a few" turned into months. soon "months" turned into years. then suddenly he stopped keeping track. and then, he started to enjoy it.

Isolation and Control: Brian might isolate you from your friends and family, attempting to control who you interact with and where you go. By limiting your support networks, Brian exerts more control over their life, making it challenging for you to maintain independence and make your own decisions.

Difficulty Opening Up: Brian/Hoody's burden of guilt and emotional turmoil might make it challenging for him to open up and share his vulnerabilities. This could create a one-sided dynamic in the relationship, with you having to provide emotional support without receiving reciprocation, potentially leading to resentment and emotional imbalance.

Manipulative: brian plays on the emotions and insecurities of those around him, manipulating their feelings to further his own agenda. he understands their weaknesses and uses psychological tactics to subtly influence their actions, pushing them towards his desired outcomes.

Apathetic: Brian's apathy also masks underlying insecurities and vulnerabilities. By presenting himself as emotionally detached, he avoids exposing his true feelings and weaknesses to others. .

Emotional Unavailability: Brian/Hoody's reserved and stoic nature could make it difficult for him to express his emotions or be emotionally available in a relationship. He might struggle to communicate his feelings or provide the necessary emotional support to you, leading to a sense of distance and detachment.

BRIAN AND HOODIE ARE NEVER GONNA LET YOU GO--

you are the one thing that is keeping him sane. so don't even think about leaving him. you wouldn't get the chance anyways. your everything that he's ever wanted, there is not a chance in hell that he's gonna have you slip through his fingers. he can be mean sometimes, but he doesn't mean it, it just slips out! typically when he gets back from "work", he's aggravated, its like he's a different person. he's cold, calculating, a robot practically; so you cant blame him when he needs something to release his sexual frustration. he just loves pleasing himself inside of you, he loves the way your body reacts to his corruption. now since your body is "bound" to him, he still needs to take extra precautions to keep you from leaving... specifically, brian will pit you aganist your friends and anyone close. pointing out how your friend's remark was passive-aggressive, pointing out details on how your friends "don't care about you, how they will never care about you, how he is the only person that will ever truly care about you. of course, he leaves you at least one friend, maybe two if he's feeling generous, he doesn't want you to go insane after all.

Dark and Evil level: 7/10, Getting up there, crazy ex bf vibes

Toxic traits that all proxies/creepypasta have in my opinion:

Stalking

Manipulative

Gaslighting

Apathetic

Mean :(

Sexually all pastas have a corruption kink-- some more than others

DEEP DOWN THE PROXIES ARE STILL HUMAN--

after everything they've been through, after everything they have seen, they're just scared kids. their lives were stripped away from them at such a young age, their lives were just beginning--now its like they don't even live at all. they never wanted to do this, they never wanted to kill, they never wanted to serve an eldritch demon of mass power, they just wanted to grow up. be a kid, go to college, and have a life. maybe in a different universe, a different timeline, maybe just maybe, everything is the way it should be. maybe they arent as fucked up as they should be.

🏷️— @spookyravioli

#creepypasta #creepypasta fanart #creepypasta x female reader #creepypasta x reader #marble hornets #creepypasta hcs #creepypasta x you #creepypasta smut #ticci toby x y/n #ticci toby x you #toby rogers #toby rogers x reader #ticci toby creepypasta #creepypasta ticci toby #toby rodgers x reader #creepypasta toby #toby rodgers #hoody creepypasta #hoody #mh hoody #masky and hoody #hoody marble hornets #creepypasta hoodie #hoodie x reader #hoodie x you #masky mh #creepypasta masky #masky x reader #masky marble hornets #masky x you

[animeyanderelover]

Second may I request Tobirama nfsw hcs

Tags: @shumidehiro @naeho @swagenemyartisan

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, obsession, possessive behavior, Nsfw, choking, overstimulation, breeding, afab reader

Nsfw Hc’s

🌊Tobirama is a man who values the traditions passed down in his clan for generations and that also includes the manners appropriate at that time when it comes to anything sexual. It is surely for someone amusing to consider the fact that this man is a virgin despite his huge achievements. Tobirama truly holds his traditions dear though and only plans to have sex with his spouse. Whilst he is still a man with needs, he has a case of being workaholic so his focus is often only pinned on his work. He isn’t one to get tempted by desire that easily and it is mainly his darling that eventually causes his thoughts to shift. Obviously not in an instant way but in a more gradual one where he slowly starts appreciating you for your personality traits as well as your body. He never mentions anything about it though as he remains a strict and respectful man who refuses to ogle at you like some perverted creep. Even with his own body slowly being more sensitive and reactive when in close proximity to you, Tobirama is adamant to save everything for marriage.

🌊He keeps the tradition alive until the bitter end, until both of you have given your vows. There have been some passionate moments before this moment but even then he has never allowed it to escalate into anything more than rough kisses and experimental touches. There is definitely some sexual frustration that has accumulated inside of him over all the time he had to wait though and all of that will be unloaded on the wedding night. It is going to be rougher for you at the beginning as there is some uncomfortable pain that accompanies the pleasure. Even if Tobirama has been considerate to prep you until he has deemed it to be enough, he can’t help but be on a more aggressive side as he pounds into you. Give him a few rounds, endure it for a while until he has calmed down. Even if you’re by that point already trembling, all of your senses and nerves overstimulated as you have come on his cock multiple times. Because now he starts getting softer with low words of praise, warm kisses and hands appreciatively roaming around on your body as he starts slapping his hips against your own once again in a slow pace.

🌊Everything that isn’t part of his body or yours doesn’t belong in the bedroom when he’s making love to you. Tobirama is wildly vanilla and not very open nor accepting of anything that dabbles into the more kinky side and he has especially something against tools. A part of this mindset really stems from the way he was raised in the Senju clan. Another part of him views any tools you may even dare to suggest as an insult. Such things are in his eyes not only a hindrance but steal away the intimacy such experiences are supposed to have. You only have to focus on one thing when he is slamming his hard and thick length in you and that is him and he only has to focus on you when your sensitive walls flutter around him. He should be enough to pleasure you. Are you trying to suggest that he isn’t satisfying you enough? You won’t even be able to get any sex toys in the house but you definitely get one long and rough session with Tobirama who will gladly fuck your brain out if it helps you to realize that there isn’t any need for any other objects. Don’t you ever dare again to mention sex toys again in his presence.

🌊He makes an attempt to never do it too often but Tobirama can’t deny that sometimes it just feels incredible to vent his frustration and stress out by having sex with you. Everything is wiped from his memory besides the pleasure he receives in the moment and all tension melts away when he reaches his own orgasm. He knows that the problems won’t be solved by simply railing you into the sheets but for his own sanity, he sometimes can’t help himself. Everything about the sex life between you two is kept within your own house though as he would only view it as very inappropriate to share such sacred moments with anyone else. That means that he also doesn’t appreciate if you give him any hickies or scratches on places that he can’t cover up and he applies the same principle to you. If he ever catches any leftover from a previous night, he always sees it through that you wear clothes that hide it.

🌊Whilst Tobirama despises any toys and most kinks, he has a thing for choking you. It is almost an eye-rolling experience when you feel his calloused and rough hands wrapping themselves around your warm neck whilst he is mercilessly thrusting his thick member in and out of your slick hole. The Second Hokage definitely asserts his dominance over you during such heated moments. Either by choking you or by grabbing both of your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head, preventing you from touching him. Needless to say, he is always the one in control even during sex as his controlling side even extends there. He is unable to ever imagine himself playing the part of the submissive partner in his married life with you. It once again connects to his traditional upbringing in the Senju clan as well as the way he thinks he has to behave as a warrior as well as the Second Hokage. Complain about it as much as you will, he knows you’ll forget about it once he hits all the right spots inside of you.

🌊He isn’t very vocal for a big part as the only sounds you ever hear him make are the occasional grunt and groan when the tightening of your walls sparks the pleasure building up inside of him more and more. Normally it always starts on a rougher side where he gradually mellows out after a few rounds and starts being more affectionate and nice. His aftercare is quite good too because he is aware that he goes rough on you and that he forces a lot out of you so he always makes sure to hydrate and clean you thoroughly up after he has left you as a sticky mess. He isn’t interested in any kids for the first few years of the relationship as his priorities are currently elsewhere but he knows that as a part of the Senju Clan and especially as someone with his position, the topic will be unavoidable. He likes to be fully prepared for this future scenario and he discusses it with you too to have you prepared for it too. Until that time arrives though, he even allows you to consume anything that prevents you from getting pregnant.

#yandere naruto #yandere naruto shippuden #yandere tobirama #yandere tobirama senju

[enrosadiraanisaaa]

Within Session .Part Three.

Hey there cuties, do not think I forgot about y'all! This fanfic consist of Yandere!Leon Kennedy. I intend for this fic to progressively become disturbing and fucked up with each chapter. While the first few chapters will be tamed, expect the following in this series:

~Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced Breeding, Degradation, NonCon, Gang Banging, Forced Pregnancy, Somnophilia, Blackmail, Manipulation, Abuse, Pet Names, Obsessive Behavior (Duh), Torture, Constraints, Mentions of Blood & Gore, Mental Degradation, Toxic Relationship, Sexual Abuse, Masturbation, Drugged & Drunk Sex, Loss of Virginity, Forced Penetration…

Also you will be retconned (Too bad 😏): Female Reader, 24 Years old and from Texas 💝

This story was purely written with RE 4 (Remake) Leon in mind. So no puppy dog Leon from RE2 or DILF Leon from later games & movies. The story takes place several months after the events of RE4. Yay, you’re in 2004!

I plan to make this series long and fleshed out, but I promise what you want will hit you like a train~🚂

This chapter does not contain any 🔞 material. This story will contain +18 content (NSFW) in the near future 🔞 If you’re a minor, please go read a real book or something, don’t cry to me when your mom finds your shit.  This story will eventually hit that point so don’t set yourself up.

Summary

As an on sight therapist for STRATCOM in Nebraska, you’re tasked with providing quality therapy for US military personnel and government agents. After working at the headquarters for 6 months, Hunnigan recommends you to a notable government agent, Leon Kennedy, who is in need of therapy. After a number of sessions with you, Leon notices a substantial stability in his sanity yet is threatened when you are offered a position back home, closer to your family and friends. Your choice doesn’t sit well with one particular client, who can’t fathom you out of your role as his therapist. Leon has found a means of keeping his precious therapist and realizes you are the key to his permanent solace. You were obviously destined to be his in some form. Why dream of him letting you go?

A\N: I was heavily inspired by Satoshi Kon’s Perfect Blue 💙, ExploreVenus’s Something Permanent and Guardian Angel by NexysWorld. This chapter was oddly hard to write, especially writing out a session on a serious topic. Once I was writing, I kept writing so you might find this chapter to be long! Expect the next chapter to be out in two weeks!

Hope y'all enjoy the third part! More to come 💝~ Anisssa أنيسة

Here is Part One and Part Two of Within Session

Cleared Mirror

When Leon finally mentioned to Hunnigan his need for help, he did not expect immediate validation to improve his mental health. After the Raccoon City incident in 1998, the horrifying experiences that had cost him a normal life had embedded as an inevitable trauma. The grueling military training that followed after he was captured by the US government and forced to become a government agent to protect Sherry. The underlying hazing that he endured in boot camp tested his abilities and mental state beyond his capabilities, yet it was a period of time that distracted him. Then the recent mission to Spain to save the president’s daughter and his fight against Las Plagas of Los Illuminados seemed to weigh in after losing Luis and confronting Ada Wong after a number of years.  His guilt was engulfing him at this point, so he looked forward to his first session with the referred therapist by Hunnigan.

        However, when he did arrive at the office for the scheduled session at 5PM, he did not expect a young woman to be assigned his therapist. He noticed she was preoccupied with paperwork on her desk before he knocked on the doorway door to notify her that he had arrived. Once her awareness of him occurred, she stood up from her chair to greet him. Leon instantly notices her red attire with black heels, reminding him of a certain woman.

     Without realizing it, Leon accidentally scrunches his face from the reminder. Even when you offer a seat on one of the chairs in front of your desk, a glare on his face remains for a moment. However, when Leon takes another glance at your face, he eases the features of his face, nearly dazed at the sight of your eyes and lips as you both sit across each other. For a moment he studies your facial features while you speak until a question from you returns him to reality. Leon blinks his eyes in realization and nods to the question, simply muttering,”Yes.”

          His heart nearly flutters when you provide a reassuring smile while nodding your head,”That’s okay, let’s get started, Leon,” He hears you tell him. 

      By leaning over the chair, you reach over with one hand to retrieve paperwork clipped to a clipboard from the top of your desk. Leon patiently sits in silence across from you, curious of the next course of actions. With a swift flip of the papers attached to the clipboard, you reaffirm all the necessary documents before leaning over in the chair to hand the clipboard to Leon. Once Leon had the clipboard in his possession, he curiously skimmed through the pages while you spoke,” Alright Leon, we’re going to take the first 15 minutes to get through all this annoying intake paperwork. Essentially review HIPAA concerns, consent forms, and ethical guidelines. Afterwards, I will ask more questions regarding your background, then begin discussing your reasons for therapy and goals so we can formulate a treatment plan along our sessions. How does that sound?” You question him, provided with a gentle smile.

       Leon follows with a head nod, content with the flow of the session.”Sounds good,” he immediately responds, eager to hear your voice more. Despite Leon never receiving treatment before, he was honestly impressed with your diligence.

     With the reassurance from Leon, you proceed on explaining the following paperwork.”Also, please feel welcomed to ask me any questions, I want to ensure you’re not leaving here confused and that my skills are what you’re looking for in a therapist,” You sincerely express, shifting in the chair to cross your legs.  

      There were several questions that instantly came to Leon’s thoughts: ‘How old are you?’ and ‘Are you single?’ 

“The first page contains a HIPAA authorization form, basically entailing how your medical information is disclosed and your rights regarding your medical information…''You explain, leaning over the side of the chair again to snatch a pen from your desk. With the pen in hand, you lean over the chair to hand it to Leon,”So just write today’s date, your full name, date of birth, social security, check the boxes, and provide your signature. Please let me know if you have questions,” You breathe out, observing him as Leon fills out the worksheet in silence, hearing the scribbling of the pen on paper.  

         After a moment, Leon glances back up to you, signaling he was finished with signing this section of paperwork. In this moment, you provide a smile in reassurance,”Sweet, now we can continue to the next section, which is simply covering ethical guidelines between therapist and client. If you flip over to the next page, it will clarify all the different points. When you’re done reading, just sign at the bottom,” You advise him, sinking back into the chair as Leon flips and reviews the next page of ethical guidelines.

      At this moment, several points mentioning friendship and gift exchange between client and therapist caught Leon’s attention. Therapists are legally required to maintain a professional relationship with their clients, thus can not accept gifts over a certain amount. Leon briefly glances at you, then instantly returns his sight to the paperwork on his lap. He would have to abide by these guidelines to receive treatment. With the pen in his hand, Leon inscribes his signature on the line at the bottom of the page along with writing the current date. 

    With all the paperwork finally reviewed and signed, this prompted you to clasp your hands together, instantly capturing Leon’s concentration from the paperwork on his lap up to you at the sudden noise,”Okay, we’re done with paperwork! You can set that on my desk, now we can finally get into why you’re here. I will ask a couple of questions, then you can tell me more about yourself, Leon,” You explain, your voice full of enthusiasm as you directly observe his blue orbs across the room. In response to your declaration, Leon nods his head. 

     By adjusting your throat, you then exhale before asking the first question: “Has your family or you have any history of substance abuse that is not limited to alcohol, illegal drugs, and abuse of medication?” 

From across the room, you notice Leon shakes his head,”I am not sure about my family, but not me…”

      To acknowledge him, you provide a subtle head nod to his response,”That’s okay if you don’t know. Another question: During your childhood, did you live any significant period of time with anyone other than your natural parents?” You question him, intently observing his expressions. Despite his file entailing he was an orphan, you needed more context.

      There was a momentary pause from Leon at this question, his gaze elsewhere but you as he ponders this question. He then returns his gaze to you, nodding,” Yes. I was in the foster care system until I became 18 years of age. There was an incident in my family that I don’t have much recollection on…” He tries to clarify. 

     ‘There was an incident?’ This thought comes to you, debating if this subject should be pressed on and explored. You veer your head to the clock on the wall, it was already 5:32PM. Session will be ending soon at 5:50PM and there is at least one important question left for Leon.

     With another head nod, your lips form a smile to Leon,”We can explore that at another time if you like… My last question is: What has brought you to therapy and what goals do you want to accomplish?” To some, this inquiry might seem ridiculous, but this direct question was for clients to explore their reasoning to receive therapy.

     An exasperated sigh escapes his mouth, tilting his head to the sides as it seemed he did not want to confess his sentiment. “Uh… I feel alone” He finally admits, his face expressionless.

     “At what point in your life do you feel alone?” You inquired, keeping your tone serious to Leon’s response.

      Over the span of his life, there were an absurd number of instances when he was abandoned by people. The initial example was during his childhood, when his family was massacred for unexplained reasons. He spent a considerate amount of years in the foster care system, unloved by blood. The girlfriend who broke off their relationship the night before he experienced the incident in Raccoon City. Hell, even when Claire Redfield deserted Sherry and him to search for her older brother after they barely survived that harrowing night together. Leon had to fend for Sherry when Claire had left them to the mercy of the US government. Then the infamous Ada Wong, who used him twice before vanishing without a trace. People were brief in his life, either from death or they left him.

     Despite these prominent circumstances, how would he express some of these details without explaining an incident that was covered up and immensely classified. His hands and tongue were tied, he would have to brush over this portion of his life. 

       With several blink of his eyes, Leon considers other reasons for his lonesomeness. There was an uneasy feeling that swept over him due to the unsettling silence in the room. You were attentive for his answer.

      “The nature of my job… I am too busy to involve myself in meaningful relationships,” Leon conjures, returning his gaze to those eyes that seemed too distant from him. 

     As Leon provides a response to your final question, you notice hesitation in his demeanor as if he is recollecting something traumatic. However, as a professional you can not dismiss his answer, but simply acknowledge him. 

    Since Leon was an agent of STRATCOM, no doubt that life threatening missions contributed to this sentiment. Similar among other agents and military personnel, coping with isolation and loneliness was common. 

      “Are there any particular aspects of your job that contribute to your feeling of loneliness?” You ask him in a sincere tone. With a quick glance at the clock on the wall, there were only a few minutes of session. Damm…

Leon noticed your glance to the clock on the wall, yet continued to speak,” People are temporary in my line of work…” He admits, noticing the hands of the clock were at 5:46pm.”Session is done already, huh?” Leon comments, returning his attention to you for confirmation. 

       A faint smile forms on your lips, nod slightly.”Unfortunately…but we can continue this subject next session..” You respond, standing from the chair to retrieve another clipboard from your desk, consisting of another signature page. “Before you leave, if I could get your signature. I did check your health insurance and it’s all good to go. They require a client signature to authorize that you received treatment today,” You inform him, offering the clipboard to him with both hands. 

     Leon stands from his seat, taking the clipboard with one hand while his other hand grasps the pen attached to the clipboard. After signing his signature at the bottom of the sheet, he returns the clipboard back into your possession with a faint smile on his lips.

     You reciprocate the same faint smile on your face,”Alright Leon, it was a pleasure to meet you today. I really recommend writing any thoughts or topics you want to speak about in a small notebook for our sessions, that way you don’t forget… but other than that. You are free to go. I look forward to seeing you on Friday at 5PM. If you need to reach me for any reason, definitely reach me by email or my work number.” You mention, leaning on your desk. 

       With a nod from Leon, offering a cheeky grin,”Yes ma'am. I will see you on Friday then, stay warm...” He comments, noticeably glancing at your body up and down, implying your poor choice in your red attire. At those words, Leon turns around to exit your office, leaving you alone in silence. 

     This was definitely an interesting client, there was no doubt in Leon’s charisma and intellect. 

#leon kennedy #yandere!leon kennedy #re4 leon #leon x fem reader #resident evil 4 remake #resident evil #within session #leon kennedy x reader #yandere!leon x reader #female reader

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

fix of you

jack hughes x f!reader

warnings: swearing (c-word), mentions and descriptions of drugs and alcohol usage (class b), effects of weed, reader is kind of a relatable asshole at moments? (you can make your own conclusions), brief joke of alcoholism as an attempt at easing tension, mentions of cheating and subsequent emotional damage, mentions of casual relationships, toxic relationships/exes, internal dialogue, fluff and reassurance

psa: i'm gonna be honest, i don't remember writing most of this

word count: like 8.4k??

Rudy was so far gone – so pissed up his own arse – that he misjudged your horror for excitement. How he’d managed to do that was completely beyond you, because immediately after clamping your eyes on him, you’d frozen entirely, before ducking out of potential eyeline before he could see you.

He being…someone complicated – Lewis. Even the  mere sight of him left a sour taste in your mouth. 

Rudy, bless his pure soul, had turned to you, an eyebrow somehow raised despite his deeply intoxicated state of mind, and pouted.

“What?” You asked, awkwardly looking towards the bar to avoid being under his scrutiny.

“What was that? You looked at Lewis and just fuckin’, I don’t know, dipped.” Rudy slurred, spinning in his chair clumsily and looking straight at Lewis, who – thank fuck – was talking to the person next to him and seemingly oblivious to Rudy’s obviousness. 

You knew the two of them were friends, and somehow through the madness and spontaneity of the text Rudy had sent out to everyone in his contacts, that fact had escaped your mind entirely, and that only seemed to increase your drive for another drink and the need to get yourself the hell out of there. You’d been contemplating ditching for a while anyway – the ‘party’ was beginning to die a little, but the only reason you’d stayed was because Rudy was way too high to even be trusted to get home safely. Naturally, that responsibility had fallen onto your shoulders. 

You shrugged, “Nothing. I just don’t like the guy.”

He spun back around, patting the bar, and only seconds later – seemingly pulled out of thin air – a shot glass with amber sloshing liquid slid across the surface. You didn’t bother attempting to snatch it out of his hand, knowing it’d only irritate him. 

“How come?”

You swung your head towards him, incredulous. He knew perfectly well why. He was the only one who did.

“Because the two months we were in an established, exclusive relationship he was sleeping with someone else when he was ‘working’.” You snatched the next shot that slid down the bar and nabbed it for yourself, barely flinching when the burn soothed your throat, “Is this tequila?” You asked, eyes wide.

“Yes, it’s tequila. And I remember now, he was kind of a dick to you.” Rudy shrugged, wobbling on the stool.

You felt your irritation flare for a second, watching him laugh and smile to himself and play off how absolutely awfully Lewis had treated you, like it was nothing. You gave him the benefit of the doubt considering he was all kinds of pissed, but you couldn’t help the defence mechanisms kicking in as you picked apart what he’d just casually said.

“Kind of? Kind of a dick?” You echoed, rolling your eyes as Rudy froze, recognising the poorly hidden frustration in your voice. You’d also had a lot to drink, but it clearly wasn’t enough considering you seemed to latch on to the smallest details. 

To save your own sanity, you put up your hands in surrender, and Rudy watched, mildly impressed at your restraint, as you left the bar entirely and made your way outside.

You were done with pretty much everything inside that building; Rudy, and most of all, Lewis. The guy got your blood boiling unlike you’d ever felt, and the more you thought about it, the more you wanted to yell and scream until your throat was raw and bleeding and your voice was hoarse because you had to let all this unsanctioned anger out somehow. It was crushing you inside and out, and it was weird – you were confused by it. You and Lewis had only dated for two months, and it wasn’t even that serious. 

You figured if you’d paid a little more attention to him during your relationship, you’d have been able to put the pieces together a little quicker, but the guy was intelligent. Cunning, sly, slimy. There weren’t enough insulting adjectives to describe the chilling way he managed to get under your skin. 

It made you want to get into a shower and scrub your skin – knowing you’d willingly let him touch you.

It had ended four months ago, but the lasting impact he’d had on you was somewhat unexpected—

“Oh, hey.” A voice shook you out from inside your own head, and you looked up, moving out of the way from the door. 

There were two of them, crowded around a cigarette, and they had an element of vague familiarity about them. The girl was the one who’d spoken, and when you turned to look at her, feeling a little caught under her gaze, she smiled.

“Hey.” You replied, slowly stepping towards them.

She picked a tin from her pocket and flicked the lid open.

Oh, now you know where you recognised her from. She supplies Rudy, and you were pretty sure you’d bought from her before; nothing serious, never anything serious – which was probably why she was only offering you a blunt.

You hesitated, stuffing your hands in your pockets. Realistically, if you smoked one right now, you knew the chances of Rudy getting home safely would be significantly lower, but that jumpy, itchy feeling nestling its way under your skin was almost overwhelming. It felt like being in a supermarket, faced with a wall of the same bag of crisps, and you could hear people talking and walking, the label on your jumper was scratching the back of your neck, your head felt funny and your shoes were too tight.

Yeah, it kind of felt like a sensory overload. 

And you also knew – without a fucking doubt – that a joint would take all of that away. The sound of the music filtering through the front door would melt to a soft tune in the back of your mind, the tightness in your chest would ease up, and you sure as hell wouldn’t give a shit about Lewis.

The woman seemed to sense your internal dilemma, and before you could answer, the tin lid snapped shut.

You smiled apologetically, “Yeah, I probably shouldn’t.”

She shrugged, still smiling politely as she tucked it back into her jacket pocket, accepting her own blunt from her company, “Hey, it’s no problem, you just looked like you could use one.”

“Honestly, I did, but…not tonight.”

And before you could even so much as breathe, the door to The Championship was slamming open and out walks…a girl? Making a direct beeline for you, it would seem.

She was wearing faded jeans with a simple green crewneck, as though she hadn’t expected to make an appearance tonight, and her flaming red hair was resting against her collarbones – cut in sharp layers. She looked elegant, and a little classy, and undoubtedly pretty, but for the life of you, you could not place her.

But the way she was smiling at you – controlled and easy (not drunk?) – you’d have thought you’d known each other for years.

“Hey, you must be Y/N.” She started, stopping in front of you and crossing her arms.

You nodded, a little confused, “I’m sorry, do I know you?” You asked, curious. She’d come from inside the bar, so she’d obviously been invited to tag along to Rudy’s party, but even then you were sure you’d not seen her inside. You’d remember hair as red as that anywhere – it was breathtaking.

She laughed a little awkwardly, her eyes flicking back to the window momentarily “Not yet–”

Shit, did that sound menacing.

“My name’s Marnie,” you felt the penny drop, and the smile on your face melted a little, “I’m Lewis’s girlfriend.”

The silence was unbearable, but the one thing you could think of at that moment was holy fuck you should have accepted that joint. You wanted to laugh, you felt the bubbles of amusement begin to rise, but they popped before they could escape, dissipating somewhere along the lines of–

Marnie, what a fucking bitch.

So this was the girl Lewis had been sleeping with all throughout your relationship?

Now, you were a feminist, you really were. But you kind of drew the line about here. You were well aware that she knew you were in a relationship with Lewis, and she was well aware you knew that, if the cautious smile on her face was anything to go by – and something about her having the audacity to approach you and introduce herself even despite that knowledge deeply unsettled you.

Deeply.

It looked like she was expecting some kind of blown up reaction on your end, because her eye was twitching fractionally – she’d put herself that close you could see it – and the smile on her face was clearly slipping with every second you refused to give her the satisfaction of reacting to that little piece of information.

So you smiled, heart hammering with something. Adrenaline? Dread? At this point the lines had blurred to the point of disfiguration.

“Well, it’s always nice putting a face to the name.” You said stiffly, sarcastically.

You weren’t doing much to hide your distaste for the entire situation. Why bother? They’d already done the damage, what was the worst you could do?

She ignored it, though, and the smile on her face grew – as though she genuinely thought you were cooperating with her, “I was thinking–”

Dear God, please don’t let this be–

“That because your friends with Rudy and Rudy’s friends with Lewis, that we’re probably going to be spending some time around each other, right?”

Fuck.

You nodded reluctantly, already sensing where this car crash of a night was going to head.

“Would you want to have a few drinks…you know, until this awkwardness is resolved?” She asked.

Why, why, why, why? Why would she even think that was a good idea? 

“I’ll pay.” She added, clearly as an afterthought to try to convince you.

For emotional damage? You laughed internally.

“Because I’m an alcoholic?” You joked lamely, resisting the urge to roll your eyes and wince at your own devastating sense of humour at wildly inappropriate times. It was dark and not actually true, but you knew what Lewis had thought of you when you were together. He was always muttering something about your bad habits – and so what if you enjoyed a singular glass of red wine in the bath every now and then? – and you could tell from the taken aback and slightly flushed look that Marnie had suddenly sported, that he’d influenced some of his own opinions onto her.

“No, no.” She stuttered, shaking her head, “I just want to do this…for Rudy.”

Godfuckingdammit.

Either she was a good reader of people, or she was just lucky, because there was no one in the entire world who could possibly persuade you to do this, apart from maybe Rudy. He was your soft spot, and right now, you hated that soft spot possibly more than Lewis and his stupid face. 

You shut your eyes, hands waving with a mind of their own, “Sure.”

You regretted it instantly, even more so when Marnie grinned. 

“That’s great—”

“I just need to make a phone call, and I’ll be right there.” You interrupted, automatically sliding your phone out of your pocket, not waiting for her to answer before you stepped away, taking a seat on the edge of the pavement. It was a quiet night, barely any cars on the road, and if someone saw you talking on the phone, you knew the likelihood of being approached would be slim to none.

Besides, if someone happened to come up behind you, you had—

Oh. They’d gone.

You sighed, noticing you were now alone, and stood up. There was no way you would willingly sit with your back facing the sidewalk in the dark without someone watching you. So you leant against the window of the bar, thumb hovering over a contact, that, even at reading, made something flutter in your chest.

Nerves, anticipation, the whole lot. You were smiling before you’d even clicked the call button.

He picked up on the fourth ring, and you found yourself smiling bashfully at the floor even before you heard his voice.

If three-month-ago-you saw yourself now, she’d be mortified.

“Hey.” You started, foot kicking at a broken piece of glass.

“Hey.” You could tell he was smiling just from the tone of his voice – it was painfully distinguishable.

“What are you doing right now?” You asked, praying with everything in you that he’d be free. You knew he had training today – it had finished at around four, so technically he’d had time to sleep off the exhaustion, and he had tomorrow off…so, in theory, he should be free.

But given the hectic schedule he seemed to live by, you would be in no way offended if he decided to turn you down right now. You’d turn you down if you were being honest.

There was some rustling, and you deduced he must have pushed himself from a sofa or bed, “Absolutely fucking nothing. Please take me out of my misery.” He breathed a laugh to disguise his plea, and the sound of it sent chills through your body, a certain giddiness igniting in you knowing he’d pretty much show up for you right now, even if it was to watch some crappy movie in your apartment. Unfortunately for him, the reality was a lot less exciting.

Before you could interject and ask him, however, he was talking again, “Is that music?”

You turned your head, looking straight into the bar. You hadn’t exactly realised how loud the music was, but when you spotted Rudy messing around near the jukebox and speakers, that issue kind of answered itself, “Yeah, I’m at The Championship bar, you know the one that’s like a five minute walk from yours?”

There was a beat of silence, “Oh, the one on the corner by the deli? Yeah, I know that one.”

It only occurred to you then, due to Jack���s awkward answer – an open statement left half-hanging, that you hadn’t actually asked him to meet you there, or even given any indication you wanted to see him. 

You barely wasted a second before the invitation had toppled from your lips, “I was wondering if you wanted to come by? Rudy’s decided to throw a party and it’s honestly torture.” You hesitated, expecting him to fill the silence, but when he didn’t interject with anything, you continued, heart pounding with the anticipation of what you were about to admit, “And we haven't seen each other in a while so I’m kind of missing my fix of you lately.” You completed it with an awkward laugh, hoping the statement sounded less casual than what you truly meant.

That was what you and Jack were, amongst other things: casual. Or, you thought you were. It had started as an awkward blind date but he ended up staying the night and after a minor misjudgement on your behalf, he’d ended up at the door of your apartment building, a bag of Indian food in hand and an apology because he’d ditched you in the morning even after the promise of breakfast. And against your better judgement, you guys had been…friends (with a question mark) since then. 

Nothing else had happened, but you seemed to have a sort of unspoken relationship. One that meant you’d be smiling at your phone at inappropriate times.

So, naturally, you were kind of curious as to what his reaction would be.

“I’m missing you, too.” He paused, and you felt a twinge of relief flood your system, almost overriding the buzz of alcohol you’d consumed earlier. Jack tended to have that effect, whether you liked it or not. “I’ll be there in two minutes.”

“But it takes five at a minimum?” You smiled again, eyes glancing to the direction you knew he’d be coming from, even though darkness shrouded the path and realistically he wouldn’t appear in that moment.

“Then I’ll run. You sound like you need saving.” He laughed, and you could distantly hear the slam of his door shut over the phone, his keys in the lock.

You rolled your eyes, “Don’t wear yourself out.”

“Not possible. I have incredible stamina.”

The insinuation was bold, but it dissipated some of the tension in your shoulders. The relief you felt purely based on the reassurance that it wouldn’t take him long to reach you felt wrong in a sense; that you relied on his presence to alleviate some of the stress from the awkward situation both yourself and Rudy had placed you in. 

It felt careless.

“Yeah, your hockey skills really prove that. I’ll be waiting inside…trying to have fun until you get here.”

“Only as long as you pretend to have fun when I actually get there.”

“No need to pretend.”

You heard him breathe a laugh, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye.”

You hung up, steeling yourself as you walked back through the door, feigning a smile when Lewis lifted a hand up from where he and Marnie had claimed a booth. You went straight to the bar, knocking into Rudy from where he was sitting back on a stool.

“Where the hell did you go?” He asked, dramatically looking at your shoes and then moving back up to your face, eyes wobbling and cheeks flushed.

“Outside.” You answered, grabbing two bottles of beer from the ice bucket. You weren’t entirely sure if Jack would want a drink when he got here, but seeing as Rudy had somehow booked an ‘all expenses paid for’ event, you figured there was no harm done.

“Why–” Rudy stopped talking, blinking dumbly as it clicked that you’d taken two bottles, “Why two?” He pointed lazily, before collapsing on top of his hands against the counter surface.

“Because Jack’s coming.” You stated simply.

“As in the Jack who I haven’t met yet?”

“The very one.”

“Ooh.” He let out a slack giggle, and you shook your head, smiling a little at his antics. You felt yourself colour at his eyebrow wiggle, a flicker of pride touching your heart at the mere notion of finally sharing the brilliance of Jack with your friend – singular because Rudy was a part of a different sphere to who you usually spend your time with.

Rudy probably wouldn’t even remember meeting him this time around anyway.

So you patted him on the back and slid across the booth so you were sitting directly across from Lewis.

He’d had a haircut since the last time you’d seen him, and there were wisps of facial hair tickling his cheeks. He looked weird, worn and a little on edge. And the sight of him sent an alarm blaring through your mind, red flags metaphorically swimming in your line of vision.

A well of words flew through your mind: disgusting, cheater, dick, bastard, liar, sociopath, fucking bitch.

He didn’t inspire much positivity. At all. It had you questioning why the fuck you even agreed to Marnie’s request in the first place, because you didn’t even have to be here. You didn’t have to put yourself through this undoubtedly horrific conversation for the sake of fucking Rudy – who was practically passed out and unaware to everything that was currently going on around him.

No one said anything until the tension was seemingly too much for Lewis to take, because he nodded to the second bottle of beer you’d placed on the table next to your spot, “Are you waiting for someo–”

You vaguely heard the door shut, and in another world – if Marnie hadn't frozen in her place with her own drink midway to her mouth, jaw falling slack as her eyes followed something across the room – you wouldn’t have thought anything of it.

“That’s Jack Hughes.” She gaped, and your heart stuttered in your chest.

Lewis’s words were lost on everyone, and all three of your heads turned around just in time to see Jack pause by the door, seemingly taken aback by the small crowd of people blocking his view from everyone seated in booths. Because your back was to him, you spun around in the booth, pulling yourself up onto your knees so you could peer over the top of the wooden brackets, waving a hand to catch his attention.

There were a few brief seconds where his eyes were stuck on Rudy, and without even realising it, you caught yourself checking him out, assessing him from head to toe, right from his trainers to the Yankees cap pulled over his eyes. You were pretty impressed Marnie had recognised him so instantly, especially considering Jack had clearly dressed for subtlety.

He’d gone for a pair of jeans, the legs baggy, and a navy V-neck jumper, a white shirt peeking out from underneath. You weren’t a fashion expert by any means, but somehow that washed out denim Yankees hat topped it all off, and he looked good. His hair was a little shorter than the last time you’d seen him, but it still poked out from underneath his hat in waves. Even from where you were admiring him, you could tell he’d shaved recently.

Shit, he looked insanely good. To the point where you didn’t know if you’d be able to stand not touching him tonight. 

Your hand had frozen in place, elbow resting against the wooden platform, and it was only when he’d caught you over the crowd of heads that you realised exactly how you’d reacted to him. He smiled, wasting no time in dodging past several people as he made his way over to your booth.

You slid down, waiting for him to join you, cheeks burning and fighting the intensely strong urge to grin as you took a sip of beer to avoid the questioning gaze from Lewis. You figured he was confused; ice hockey had never really been his thing.

Honestly, it hadn’t been your thing until you met Jack, but…here you were.

You found yourself running a hand through your hair, suddenly aware you hadn’t looked in a mirror in the last few hours, and before he’d even sat down and before he was even within a four foot radius, you already knew you were going to have way more fun with Jack in the same room.

By the time he’d appeared at the end of the booth, that gorgeous smile on his face – cheeks a little red (you assumed he kept his promise and ran over, considering it had barely been five minutes, and his cheeks were tinged from exhaustion) – your eyes were shining with excitement. You felt like a little kid – you guys hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks because he’d been on a roadie, but you never would have guessed you’d be so giddy to see him again.

“Hey.” He greeted, and it was as though you’d been overtaken by some sort of tunnel vision, because you missed the look shared between Lewis and Marnie – all because Jack wasn’t paying them a single shred of attention. His eyes were boring into yours, and that smile you’d been hiding broke free as you reached for him, pulling him into the booth next to you.

“Hey,” you replied, before suddenly remembering the pair sitting opposite, and you turned back to them, unable to help yourself from looking back at Jack, as though you couldn't quite get enough of him. You caught a waft of his aftershave when he sat down…as if he couldn’t get any more irresistible, “Jack, this is Marnie and Lewis; Marnie, Lewis,” you gestured lazily to the man next to you, “Jack.”

You felt Jack pull his attention away from you to politely greet the couple sitting next to each other; Marnie was the picture of awe, her eyes were wide and she was drinking Jack up, not quite able to believe he was sitting across from her. You didn’t have her down for being an ice hockey fan, but you kind of loved how uncomfortable Lewis was at the attention she was paying Jack and not him. 

He was jealous, for sure. His jaw was ticking and you could vaguely see him sizing Jack up across the table, a misty curiosity lingering in the depths of his eyes as to just why his girlfriend knew who this guy was when he clearly had no fucking clue.

“Nice to meet you guys.” Jack smiled, casually draping an arm over the back of your bench, his hand gently touching your far shoulder.

In return, you discreetly shuffled a little closer on the bench – though the task in itself seemed almost nearly impossible considering how easily he’d slotted himself in next to you, his hip pressed to yours and the lengths of your things touching – and crossed one leg, resting your knee on his thigh. 

It was casual, not altogether touchy, but you could sense the scrutiny from across the table.

“How did you two meet?” It was Marnie that jumped in first, eyes completely fixed on Jack and not paying any other soul a single shred of attention. It was a little amusing, but at the same time – you were kind of…off?

You couldn’t place the sudden ugly, bitter taste in your mouth, but it made you want to grab Jack’s hand and leave immediately. But you guys weren’t anything established or exclusive, so that kind of felt misplaced.

Then you immediately felt guilty because you’d dragged Jack out of his house only to place him into the questioning hands of a woman you barely trusted, let alone knew. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel like he was cornered.

“Through a mutual friend.” You answered, shrinking in on yourself.

You felt Jack pass an inquisitive glance over you, but you refused to look at him.

“Oh.” Marnie was disappointed with the lack of detail, you could tell.

Lewis cleared his throat, sitting a little straighter as everyone's attention returned to him, “What do you do, Jack?”

It felt an awful lot like an interrogation. 

It was clearly the wrong thing to say in front of Marnie, because her eyes narrowed and her cheeks flared a little in embarrassment. She must have clipped Lewis under the table, because you saw him flinch as though he’d been poked.

“I play hockey.” He answered, a little awkwardly. You could tell he was trying to hold back, maintain his modesty for the sake of not making Lewis feel a little silly; you guessed he was also holding back because he knew Marnie had recognised him.

“Oh,” Lewis began, furrowing his brows, “So that’s a full time thing? Like in the big leagues?”

Marnie paled, her eyes slipping towards the ceiling. You half expected her to facepalm at the comedic faces she was making, but she bit her lip, taking a drink.

You felt Jack’s ribs squeeze at your side. He was trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, I play in the NHL.”

Lewis swallowed, realisation settling in as he nodded, “Shit, so you’re good, then?”

Jack shrugged, ever humble, “I’m alright.”

For some reason, through a short burst of enthusiasm, you felt compelled to contribute, “He’s amazing,” you told Lewis, nodding and fighting a proud smile. Even saying Jack was amazing still felt like an under-exaggeration. You turned to look at him, allowing the smile to take over a little, “You’re amazing.”

His cheeks flushed and he suppressed a smile, twisting his hat around so it faced backwards on his head. You found yourself preferring it that way; you could see more of his face. The tired shadows under his eyes and the smile lines creased into his skin like a tattoo.

“Thanks.”

You took a deep breath, pulling yourself away from his magnetic composure, “So, how have you guys been?”

Lewis let out a breath, looking to Marnie for assurance. She, on the other hand, sat up straighter, determined to take some control over the slipping situation. It was painfully clear to her that neither you or Jack were particularly interested in maintaining a real conversation with either her or Lewis – you were much too taken with each other – and neither of you were exactly trying to hide that fact.

In fact, to Marnie, she felt as though she was intruding in on something private.

“We’ve been good, I just got promoted.” She said awkwardly, met with silence and mildly impressed looks – not really caring.

She briefly wondered if Jack knew what had gone down between the three people he was sharing a table with.

He didn’t.

He was just too enamoured with you.

“What exactly is it you do?” You asked, now finding the humour in asking questions. It might have appeared mean, but it was the only way you could actually cope talking to them. Answering questions and so obviously pretending you were interested was entertaining.

Passive-aggressive and petty, sure, but this was what Marnie had asked for.

She swallowed a mouthful of her drink, vaguely surprised at being questioned, “I work in a school – I just got promoted to head of department.” She noticed your confused expression, her eyes flickering to where Jack had replaced his arm along the back of the booth, this time twirling your hair in his hand absentmindedly. He was looking at her, at least acknowledging the conversation – much unlike Lewis, who’d turned on his phone and was scrolling through Twitter. “History. Head of the History Department in a High School.” She elaborated.

“Well done.” You cringed inwardly, knowing your effort of a congratulations was hilariously lacking in authenticity.

It seemed the awkward and noticeable tension had finally gotten to Jack – who’d never really been able to sit still and comfortably in such situations – who straightened, eyes zipping between everyone as if only just realising the unfortunate dynamic between everyone but him. He looked to Lewis, who – the coward – was purposefully avoiding eye contact with everyone; to Marnie, who’s hand was rubbing against her thigh, her eyes wide with traces of panic but managing it with a tight smile that was too wide to possibly be natural.

Then he looked at you. You were drawing shapes on the leg of your pants, the knee not resting on him diddling up and down under the table. You only did that when you were nervous or caught off guard by something.

Your eyes kept worriedly darting between Marnie and the back door exit – looking rather like you wanted to be anywhere else but here.

He hoped you still wanted to be with him wherever your desired place was, but he recognised that internal need to just get the fuck out.

If he was being honest, he’d never seen anyone look so damn uncomfortable by the people they’d chosen to spend time with, and he doubted you’d spend time with people that inspired that level of unease willingly.

Or maybe you would? He didn’t know you that well to know it for certain, but he knew you well enough to say with some certainty that there was something he was missing.

If anything, it seemed like the odd couple seated opposite him were a little sheepish or guilty about something, and the only way he knew he could get an answer immediately was if he just…went for it.

Asked.

“So how exactly do you guys know each other?” He asked, gently and cautiously probing at the silence.

In his defence, he wouldn’t have had to ask if he’d have been briefed prior to arriving and clearly disrupting the middle of something. There was history there, definitely.

What he wasn’t expecting was a dark laugh to escape you and for Lewis and Marnie to look like a pair of deer caught in the headlights. You leant forwards and rested your elbows on the table, twisting your body to face him, looking almost pleased with yourself.

“Yeah, how do we know each other?” You directed the question to the others, your levels of amusement boosted incredibly.

Marnie looked almost ashamed, and Lewis…Lewis looked like a pickled dick with sunburn.

Neither one of them said anything and you practically felt Jack’s confusion triple in the silence. Honestly, you were kind of hoping they’d answer for you.

It’d save you some embarrassment – misplaced embarrassment, of course – but ultimately your frustration won you over.

They had a right to look so ashamed of themselves.

“Lewis and I dated for a couple of months.” You admitted, watching Jack’s reaction carefully.

His eyes seemed to narrow – incredibly fractionally, and you knew that slight change would have been lost on Marnie and Lewis – and his gaze flicked from you to Lewis, almost assessing him. He kept his gaze on him for a while, before a low, almost disbelieving, “Really?” Was heard.

Lewis blushed, clearing his throat, “Yeah.”

Jack slid his eyes back over to you, arching an eyebrow. You couldn’t quite grasp what he was thinking, and it sent your heart into a frenzy even thinking about what else you were going to tell him – you couldn’t not. Not if you wanted him like you did.

“And you…” Jack was talking to Marnie, you realised.

The woman in question stuttered at the attention, “I’m his girlfriend.”

Jack could tell something wasn’t being said – the tension and the scraping of the surface of the story didn’t quite add up. Too much tension for a simple ‘we used to date’ admission.

There was an awful silence. It truly was awful. You’d rather have listened to nails being dragged down a chalkboard than listen to that heavy silence of unsaid things.

You felt Jack’s hand flop on top of your leg that was resting across his, and you looked at him. His brows were furrowed and he subtly gestured between Marnie and Lewis, a question written clearly in his face. 

At this, you bit your lip momentarily, stealing yourself for what you were about to do. You took a swig of your drink, moving to face the couple. 

“Look, I don’t think this is a good idea. I shouldn’t have agreed to sit here and have drinks with you because it’s not healthy. So I’m gonna head out.” You shrugged your coat on your shoulders, accepting nods of agreement, and Jack slid out of the booth, hands in his pockets as he awkwardly waited for you. “But you both deserve each other, really.”

It was a clear jab, but considering all the things you really wanted to say, it was incredibly tame. But you couldn’t help the not-so-subtle whisper of ‘cunts’ escape you as you dragged a rather shocked Jack out of the bar behind you. You walked straight past Rudy; someone must have called his partner because they were attempting to help him get back to his feet, but you weren’t about to stop until you were at least three blocks from The Championship.

Jack didn’t let go of your hand, nor did he say anything as he let you take him on a short trip. He could tell there was something bothering you, that much was evidenced by the rather strong insult you’d chucked at that couple right before you dipped, and he didn’t know whether to laugh or be concerned.

Sure, the insult was kind of funny and Lewis and Marnie’s reactions were priceless – picturesque almost, but he was definitely concerned. Mainly because you hadn’t even acknowledged what had happened, and also because you hadn’t stopped power walking or unlocked your jaw.

He took the initiative, walking a few steps in front of you so you got the idea to follow him instead, and rather than lead you indoors somewhere, he took you down some steps – you almost didn’t recognise it in the dark, but the graffiti pattern against the metal shutters was an instant giveaway.

He’d brought you to your shop. Your closed shop, nonetheless, but it was familiar.

He dropped your hand, not saying a word as he took a seat, his back against the shutters. You didn’t say anything – even despite knowing his back and jeans would undoubtedly be dirty when he stood back up – and took a seat next to him.

“What–” He started, hesitating slightly, “What happened with Lewis and Marnie?”

You swallowed, picking at a loose thread on your jeans, trying to bide time to structure what you wanted to say. In the end, however, you just ripped off the bandaid.

What’s the worst that could happen?

“He cheated on me with Marnie, for pretty much our entire relationship – even though he was the one to ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend in the first place.” You looked down, huffing a petulant, self-deprecating laugh, “He told me he met her three nights after I agreed to be exclusive, and that they’d been sleeping with each other for the two whole months we were dating.”

Jack’s silence was unnerving, and it stretched a good fifteen seconds. You didn’t regret telling him by any means, but any silence after that kind of confession was enough to send your mind reeling. You wondered what he was thinking, but refused to look at his face for fear of rejection, or an expression you didn’t want to associate with your situation  - mostly pity. You didn’t know how you’d take it if Jack was looking at you pityingly.

“Did Marnie know you and Lewis were together?” His voice sounded a little strained, as if he was holding himself back from reacting too much.

“Apparently she knew from the get-go.”

You heard him sigh, a hint of frustration thrown in there.

“Fucking hell.” He muttered, and you felt an arm brush yours.

When you looked at him, his head was resting against the shutters, eyes closed as he folded his arms on top of his knees. He must have sensed you looking towards him, a hint of confusion at his odd reaction, because his eyes suddenly opened and he tilted his head in your direction, a blankness in his face.

It frustrated you, that you couldn’t get a read on him immediately.

“What are you thinking?” You whispered.

Jack cast his eyes beyond you for a minute, “I’m thinking that he was an absolute fucking idiot for treating you that way; that you could do way better – find someone that would treat you like you deserve because…you’re honestly mesmerising, and I can’t comprehend why he’d pull that shit when you were already in his corner.” 

Your chest clenched and you held your breath, hoping and anticipating his next words, “You really believe that?”

Jack looked back at you this time, his eyes shimmering in the dark as the light from the streetlamp flashed, “Course I do.”

You felt your brows narrow against your will – not entirely in an accusing manner, but one of complete and utter disbelief. You were completely stuck on how in the world someone could possibly view you in such a positive way – if you’d heard someone talk about their partner in that way, you wouldn’t really be surprised – then again, you hadn’t actually seen any realistic human relationships that procured that level of devotion – and the fact that it was Jack telling you that was how he saw you; Jack who, as far as you were aware, only saw you as a bit of fun? 

You were speechless.

“Why?” You managed, your heart pounding so hard against your sternum the action was almost painful. 

You’d never been so nervous in your entire life.

He shrugged, as though his thoughts were simply an everyday thing – nothing new that hadn’t occurred or something he hadn’t thought about before, “Honestly?”

You nodded numbly, your entire body tingling.

“You’re kind of everything I want in a partner. I mean,” he took a deep breath, preparing himself, “it’s not necessarily what you stand for, but more just…you that I want.”

Your chest was tight, and your eyes were stinging suddenly – an unexpected wave of emotion crashing over you. You didn’t let it show – that vulnerable feeling, shining from your eyes – though you could tell purely by the way Jack seemed to soften, his face relaxing like he’d realised the weight of the words he’d just placed on you.

Honestly, you were still partially in shock. 

Sure, you’d hoped he felt a little more than just teasing friendship, and the only thing that had held you back from mentioning anything to him was the frailty of the friendship you both shared. It was a delicate ecosystem of sorts, that you hadn’t wanted to trespass out of fear of losing him entirely. That was the seeming issue – to you at least – because Jack even showing a shred of feeling towards you was a fantasy you could only imagine.

It felt too good to be true.

And before you could question it or add something to at least give him a hint that he wasn’t alone, he was talking again.

“Can I ask you something?” This time it was his turn to pull his eyes away, only for a brief moment. He looked more scared now than he did when he’d admitted you were - in some sense – the woman of his dreams. It said a lot about Jack as a person; that he wasn’t afraid of revealing how he truly felt, but the notion of you rejecting him was the one thing that had him stalling, “When you invited me, did you want to make Lewis jealous?”

It was clear what he was asking, and your lack of hesitation in answering seemed to ease him up a bit; he took a silent breath – you could see his chest rise in relief.

“No. I invited you because you make me feel like everything is gonna be okay, and I needed that. I didn't invite you to make Lewis jealous because I don’t want him. I just want to see you, like, all the time, every day, for as long as possible.” You gave a delicate laugh, reminding yourself that he’d already made it clear that it was you he’d already chosen, “I’ve really missed you.”

He nudged his elbow into yours, and before you knew it, a smile had broken out on your face – completely against your will.

You were okay with it, because the grin on Jack’s face rivalled pretty much every smile you’d seen him wear. It had you question if he’d ever truly expressed emotion in your presence before, but the edges to it were softer – a tenderness that hid behind the unbridled joy.

“I’ve missed you too. A lot.” He breathed a laugh.

Neither of you were touching – a stark comparison to the bar situation where every inch below the waist had been practically pressed to each other. Somehow, it felt more intimate – that with your words you were able to communicate almost as much as with a single touch. That kind of honesty in your mid-twenties in the jungle of the dating circus was refreshing.

“Look at us, communicating like real adults.” You quipped, unconsciously biting your cheek for a moment, still hazy – you half-expected to wake up, your brain intent on having you believe that this entire scenario was simply a reverie you’d conjured up in your own mind.

“Right? I feel like I’ve matured a decade in the last ten minutes.” He laughed, the sound so sweet you couldn’t help mimicking it. You almost felt guilty drowning out such a beautiful sound.

You shook your head, not in any rush to say much else. You’d said all you wanted to say for now, and the idea of letting it sink in sounded pretty cool.

You were exhausted, too.

“All things considered, I had fun as your fake boyfriend.” He admitted, and you swung your head to face him, amused at his statement.

“Is that the narrative you had in mind when you showed up?” You teased.

He hummed, nodding his head, “How did I do?”

You shook your head in disbelief. Honestly, he’d certainly acted the part, even though his behaviours and little idiosyncrasies in showing his affection towards you in subtle ways hadn’t changed from how he’d usually act.

“I’ve seen better.” You joked, a smile on your face.

He could tell you were kidding, but he feigned offence either way – partly for both your entertainment and also because he was curious as to which direction you’d take it, “Oh, you have multiple fake boyfriends on your roster?”

You shook your head, laughing becoming deeper with every minute change to his facial expression, “You’re my favourite fake boyfriend.”

“Favourite?” He echoed, his smile fading slightly but remaining all the same. 

Softening.

“The only fake boyfriend.” Your laughing dwindled, until your cheeks were aching from the intensity of your smile.

You hadn’t realised it, but somehow you’d both unconsciously leaned into each other; your shoulders were pressed tightly together, and your face was slightly tilted towards his, just as he’d tilted down a little.

This kind of tension had always existed between you both; woven and seamlessly inserted between the contrasting fabrics you were made up of, but between the inches separating you, it seemed to have its own life. It felt as obvious as the Northern Lights flashing in the sky – just out of reach but one single motion of you looking upwards would have your heart stuttering and you’d be unable to tear your attention away from the spectacle – there was the acknowledgement that you were experiencing a pivotal moment.

That if you and Jack gave in and removed the last couple of inches, ultimately submitting to your urges, nothing would ever quite be the same between you.

“I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend.” He whispered, eyes flicking down to your lips.

“I don’t want you to be my fake boyfriend, either.” You were almost breathless, the mere thought of what could possibly occur in the next few seconds consuming your entire being until it was all you could think about.

His lips against yours, slotting together in a hot mess, even despite the grimy location.

Until you just couldn’t take it anymore. In those split seconds you’d finished talking, eyes zeroing in on his microexpressions and then fixating on his lips, the patience you’d heroically harbouring vanished, and you found yourself lifting your head, placing a tentative kiss on his lips. It was quick, but you felt the heat almost instantly – it was difficult not to, considering the featherlight contact almost burnt you.

Electrifying.

It barely lasted five seconds, and it hardly took any time for him to respond, his mouth only just beginning to move against yours before you pulled away, almost afraid to venture into previously chartered territory. This was nothing new, but there was something glaringly terrifying straying into commitment – because that what that kiss ultimately symbolised: a short, sweet promise that cemented any and all doubts either of you could have possibly had about the other; a pledge that you were both on the same page.

It did seem, however, that you were holding back, because Jack had barely had any time to properly react to your ministrations before you’d pulled away, and you could feel the heat of his hands hovering over your cheeks – his brows pulled down in confusion even despite the heartbreakingly astonishing smile now permanently etched on his lips. 

It was a cheeky one, and you could recognise the glint in his eye from a mile away.

You had a singular second to register exactly what it meant, before he’d dealt the dilemma he’d been battling for an incredibly short amount of time, before you felt his hand – rough yet passionate – rest itself on the side of your jaw, his fingers just reaching into your hair at the back of your neck, before he was pulling you closer, his lips slotting perfectly between yours, and one of your hands automatically made to grab his forearm, the other resting on his shoulder, tickling the ends of his hair.

Like you’d wanted, it was a hot mess; both of you intent on breathing the other in, to the point where you couldn’t tell where you ended and he began. Your mouths were working together in an intricate dance, one that only the both of you seemed able to perform to such a chaotic standard, and it was his tongue that traced your bottom lip eagerly, your mouth parting wider to invite him in.

You were vaguely aware of your screaming lungs and the need to gather air, but your instincts and desire were screaming at you to never let this man go; the very essence of him was addicting to the point you were sure you’d let him annihilate your heart wholly if it meant you’d experience even a shred of his attentions and love in your lifetime.

“Get a room!” A gravelly voice startled you both apart, your hand felling to grip the material of his jumper in your fist, and very briefly you felt him make a move to shield you from the intruder – if only for a brief moment.

You didn’t blame him – it was difficult to remember exactly where you were when your senses were so incredibly intoxicated by his presence.

Both your chests were heaving, and Jack nodded awkwardly at the man standing at the top of the stairs. He wasn’t someone you recognised, but he was carrying a bottle of red wine in one hand, the screw top lid missing, and he was in an expensive looking silk dressing gown, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Acting like horny teenagers, the lot of them.” You heard him mutter under his breath as he trudged away, uncaring of the inquisitive looks he was being subjected to, and it was only when he rounded the block, disappearing entirely from view that you and Jack took one look at each other’s messed up appearances: his hair was a wild mess, his hat knocked off somewhere in the haze of the action, and his cheeks flushed, lips slightly swollen and shiny – you were almost positive you were in a state mirrored to that, and it took hardly any effort at all before you were both giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.

It was kind of ridiculous how easily you managed to get lost in each other.

“Want to stay the night?” Jack interrupted, “No double-meanings; I just wanted to know if you’d like to get breakfast with me in the morning? I think I still owe you from last time.”

You found yourself nodding before you could even muster up the energy to string a sentence together.

#jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes oneshot #nhl imagine #nhl fic #hockey fic #hockey imagine

[stormblessed95]

I'm the taekooker who adores Jimin, and as you said, the problem is that we don't call out people in our ship who are toxic and say shit about Jimin and often make untrue, false, sometimes downright abhorrent comments about Jimin and Jungkook's relation and/or Jimin and V's friendship.

Now for me personally, I don't follow or interact with these people, simply because they are not nice people. And if I see these comments on Twitter or even here, I block and ignore them. Because, from previous experience, what I find is they drive me crazy if I try to interact rationally with them. Because fundamentally, shipping is not about downgrading someone, or anyone else. So for my sanity, I try to avoid these accounts and conversations. But, this being said, I have also found accounts that are like me, (given most of them ship yoonmin, which is fine to me). However, they don't degrade Jimin or his personality, or his relations with any of the OT7 members. (Also side note: NOT all yoonmin shippers are taekookers. Yoonmin so far from what I've seen is possibly the calmest and most peaceful ship in BTS made up of mostly nice people.)

I get that you can't trust shippers especially tkk ( or as I read from some of the previous posts some of them even jkkers) because of their history of distorting stuff and saying nasty things about Jimin /or Tae respectively. But I feel what want to say is that we are here who love Jimin and we ship Taehyung and Jungkook. And shipping is also not equal to fetishizing. It's not. Shipping by definition is about enjoying the chemistry, and camaraderie and potentially hoping for a romantic relationship between fictional and non-fictional people. It is (at least for me) a very benign, enjoyable activity that I do in my free-time that helps me destress. And accounts that I follow are usually writers (who are actually English teachers LMAO) who write exceptional stories entirely for free that bring me immense joy. So shoutout to all the amazing fanfic writers, you guys saved me from depression!!!

Also, I agree BTS ships, especially tkk (and jkk, I guess ), have over time become more and more aggressive, full of toxicity, and have pushed us out who want a calmer, less venomous environment. Saying something rational, or pointing out hypocrisy is now labeled as me not being a true shipper. Like I gotta do prove something to them!! So childish really! However, (and I'm treading into dangerous territory here) I feel this also has something to do with coveting Jungkook. Like, Jungkook seems to be the sole pinnacle of want and focus for both tkkers and jkkers and not actually Tae or Jimin, and I don't know if this is a projection or something, but this is simply the vibe that I get.

So yes trusting shippers especially tkkers is a coin toss, and more often than not, you're probably gonna get burned either way. But just letting your blog followers know there ARE nice tkk shippers out there who maintain healthy boundaries, who love Jimin unequivocally, and even follow primarily a jikook focused vlog!

Have a nice one Stormi🌟

You do you anon. And if you are actually disengaging from most of the tkkr shipping fandom or otherwise calling out the toxicity. I applaud you for it. Though that should be the bare minimum. 😅 and if you are following me, then I am more likely to believe you that you love Jimin. Because Jimin love and the members loving on Jimin is all over this blog 🤣 as long as you aren't just following me to send in dramatized asks, which I'm sure some people here are too. 😅 I've had my fair share of toxic engagement and need to report yoonminners as well. So like I've said before, every ship has its bad apples. I've stumbled across some really toxic and weird namjin shippers. Lol but I'm willing to engage kindly with anyone who can do the same to me. I match energy here more often than not. And I've got posts up plently on my masterlist over my thoughts over shipping if yall wanted those.

Hope you have a good day too. Genuinely. 💜 I'm not talking about tkkrs anymore after this yall. I'm moving on. I've got one more ask that sort of relates to tkkrs but not. It's more of a "help me piece together this timeline that tkkrs and other shippers were talking about" ask. I'll get to that one soon, but otherwise, I'm moving onto topics that are more fun. 🥰

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

OCs/Ships as Tarot Card Pairings

Thank you @mishwanders for tagging me. Here is the link for the quiz should anyone want to try it. If there are any more pairings you'd like to see done from my OCs and their s/o please let me know.

Olivia 'Liv' McKenna & Vaas Montenegro from 'Where the Tainted Kiss' and 'Zombies in the Sun'.

The Tower + The Lovers

Meeting this person shook your whole world, crumbling down everything you thought you knew about life and love. Their warmth, their generosity, their naivety, their knowing! You don’t know how anything made sense before them. All you know is nothing will make sense afterward.

How They Met: In both stories, Liv and Vaas meet in dire situations; Liv being a hostage. Meeting him indeed shook her whole world, but not in a good way. She lost her career and her sanity and while their relationship looks grim, both slightly helped the other to forget about their pasts. 

Dynamic: Toxic 

Eirene Belmont & Cidolfus 'Cid' Telamon from 'Future On Hold'.

The Two of Cups + The Star

Your romance is a wish granted. Finally, finally, they're here. Finally, it's here! The time when you don't have to feel lonely anymore - you'll never feel that way ever again. Laughter, joy, sweetness, kisses - be at ease, all of these are things you have found someone to share with. Your love is a dreamy fantasy of love, devotion, and miracles. At first, your chest gets too tight when they're around - until they become as natural as the air in your lungs. 

How They Met: As rivals. Later, they are friends and then lovers. Their romance is truly tragic and sweet. All the while trying to save the world from annihilation. While Cid helps Eirene to grow into a better person and trust, she helps him to see that it's okay to put himself first, especially when he already does so much for others at the cost of his life. 

Dynamic: Equality (this couple relies on one another and stands on equal footing).

Aria Wesker and Albert Wesker from 'Black Wedding'.

Knight of Pentacles + The Magician 

If there's something you want you will get it. Nothing escapes your fingertips. After all, you're the power couple. Your pairing sparks pure cosmic energy. You're fiercely driven to your goals - whether that be status, fortune, or power. You're also fiercely protective of one another. With the knight's earthy energy, you both prefer to purposefully make your way towards your ambitions, rather than playing cards too early or acting too loosely. Meanwhile, the magician's half gives you a little fire. If they get too close, onlookers and threats to your relationship may get burned.  

How They Met: At a bar; Jack's Bar. Aria went to celebrate Albert becoming the new captain of the STARS unit - and be a DD for Barry. She approached him first and then after a few more chance meetings, dates, and a long passionate night on her couch, she became Mrs. Wesker. Of course, all of this was planned by Albert himself, except for the night they met. And while they are a power couple, it's Albert pulling the strings. 

Dynamic: Codependent

Tagging: I don't know too many self-shippers or OC writers who haven't been tagged, so I'll do my best. Anyone is allowed to join and if I forget someone I apologize. @stygianoir, @swamplinglvr

#oc appreciation #tag game #resident evil oc #far cry oc #final fantasy oc

[angstmonsterwrites]

Since my shitty body has decided to waste this Friday night being mildly food-poisoned, here's some disjointed thoughts and tidbits of advice I've picked up here and there:

Stop telling yourself you've screwed the pooch simply because you're afraid that's how things may go.

Life does not truly begin at any age, save for when it stops being a play for an audience.

Be careful of deciding to give a depressed or distressed loved one space they didn't ask for. Too much isolation is how some suicides happen.

'Authenticity' is a word that gets thrown around in a lot of saccharine pop-psychology contexts, but the genuine practice thereof comes with a cost, as it reveals who genuinely cares for you, and who only cares for what they want to make of you or how you might be useful to them.

Sometimes the cycle of abuse doesn't start with overt harm. Sometimes it starts with love-bombing during a vulnerable time, and sometimes the words "I do" portends a fate similar to a bear trap snapping shut.

Truth is sometimes necessarily rude, but rudeness and meanness or cruelty aren't the same thing. Refusal to stand on ceremony and disallowing comfortable lies that would permit a problem to fester isn't cruel--no more than cleaning a wound with disinfectant that makes it sting.

Beware tradition that rears its head in the form of a prescribed, rigid life script that tends to nullify or even shame the notion of personal autonomy.

A person who has suffered from malicious harm bears no fault for what was done to them. Cruel people often excel at disguising themselves as trustworthy safe havens--it's impossible to know all the tells.

Punishing and ridiculing someone (including oneself) for their anxiety or depression guarantees to make it worse.

Toxic relationships severed for one's own safety and sanity do not count as failures; those are successes in self-preservation. It's never anyone's responsibility to take a beating from anyone, physically or emotionally.

Beware of having such an over-inflated concept of responsibility that taking any risk at all feels dirty. That way lies stagnation.

Sometimes people do really mean the nice things they say, and have solid reasons for saying them. Not all praise is disingenuous, manipulative, or just a back-handed warning against failure.

If someone nit-picks your flaws or makes you feel bad for having your own needs, it's best to get away from that person. No one should face ridicule or mockery for merely being human and not an instant expert.

Read between the lines, but take care not to write something in that wasn't there before simply because you expected it to be.

Consistently good sleep won't solve all your problems, but it will help you tackle them with a clear head and avoid cranky exacerbations or drowsy miscalculations.

#musings #mental health things

[chloeworships]

I’m so sorry…. Perhaps grief counseling may help.

Just a side note:

The reason that co-parenting often fails is because one partner uses the kids to hurt the other or someone does things out of spite.

Put your ego aside and put the well-being of your children first.

This doesn’t mean joint birthday parties. This means showing up on time, sticking to court orders and agreements and only talking about the kids.

If they don’t stick to the agreements then they’re making a good case to the judge that they’re not DESERVING of seeing their children.

As long as the new person your ex is with isn’t harming the children, I have to say it and keep it 💯,…. move on babes. Your relationship with YOUR KIDS is YOUR responsibility and that’s it. Your exes business is their business as long as the kids are not involved in a toxic environment where their safety is at risk, move on.

For Mother’s, some Fathers don’t want to be involved and as hands on as you. It’s hard to accept but the sooner you do, the less you’ll rely on him and the happier you will be. Stop “needing” him and do what you need to do for your children. Eventually he will just fade away or step up.

Some people don’t ever change. Don’t wait for that, making yourself miserable because he doesn’t show up to parent teacher interviews or soccer games like you do. One thing for sure is, your kids will remember who was there and who really cared.

It gets easier as the children get older and can make decisions on their own (speaking from experience). Hang in there.

Idk who but someone needed to hear this like I once did (tough love advice). This one change in mindset altered how I dealt with my own situation BEAUTIFULLY. It saved what sanity I had left, while effectively putting a stop to all the games.

Also some men do need to do better.

Ultimately this is what it comes down to in this situation where a man isn’t pulling his weight.

Pray for them. Pray for men like this. Pray about your situation but strive to be as independent as possible.

A good man wants to be involved in their children’s lives and can still do that without you being in the room. Some refuse to out of spite, some don’t know how and some don’t care 🤷🏾‍♀️ either way that has nothing to do with you. Be a good mom anyway.

Adopt the “less you care” mentality while making sure your babies are not being abused or neglected and you’ll be just fine mama….

JUST FINE

Sending you so much love, prayer and support.

#the kids need you and need protection #daddy got into some mess #co parenting 101 #I had to learn too #we need are men to stay alive 😔💔 #ex husband

[alyjojo]

The Person On Your Mind in July 🎱 2023 - Sagittarius

Whole of their energy towards Sagittarius: 2 Cups

Feelings: 6 Cups rev

Intentions: 7 Wands rev

Actions: 10 Wands & 2 Wands

Assuming this is an ex, or a current partner, in their feelings being King of Swords & Queen of Swords rev, they’ve healed from things that made them very angry with you, vice versa, or that’s the goal. It looks like you two are getting back together if you’re apart. 2 Cups shows the love between you is mutual and you’re having a brand new beginning, one that’s moving VERY quickly with 8 Wands. You both made the decision and acted immediately, or will. They intend to not argue about what you did, not defend whatever they did, 6 Cups rev trumps all past experiences. If it’s over then it’s over, and if you’re starting over then that’s that, they’re over the past either way. In action, there is no real action, they just realize it’s difficult for you, them, or both to completely shed past experiences. That is the goal, releasing any ick leftover, and you do have success here, that’s what you’re both trying to achieve, but it could take some thought and direct addressing of some of these things in order to do so. Not in the way of let’s fight about old shit, more like “how do we not do this in the future, what is the root cause?” - and then 4 Pentacles rev is releasing everything else that isn’t that. Address it, handle it, then let it go 🙏 Feels like a mostly positive mutual experience between you, no matter what happens.

Messages:

Their side:

- Beautiful voice

- I see the real you, and love it.

Your side:

- Reckless Spender 🤑

- XXX

Possible signs:

Sagittarius, Cancer, Aquarius & Leo

If you’re dealing with:

6 Pentacles shows you having healthy & balanced relationships in July, you could be very generous and giving towards others and will probably see that they are reciprocating that same energy towards you. It’s a good time to be social with this energy 💙

Aries - a beautiful new beginning that you, they, or both of you have high hopes for

Taurus - staying to themselves because they’re upset at/about you, they miss you

Gemini - could be losing a lot of money, buying a car, fixing one, or they’re sick of their job and hauling ass to leave it 💯 you could work together or be helping them with something

Cancer - in the middle of a karmic situation with Wheel of Fortune & Justice, it could be regarding work or just taking forever, possible legal issues

Leo - patiently saving money for a Tower, preparing for the worst but trying to make the best of a difficult situation

Virgo - has a lot to say but it’s all toxic & judgemental bs, you’re onto their crap

Libra - heartbroken it ended and you’re just fine, or you feel that way about them

Scorpio - celebrating a promotion or some kind of “level up”, either for you or them 🎉

Sagittarius - dealing with some sort of emotional manipulator, there’s truth and a lot of back and forth conversation, maybe some advice

Capricorn - giving up for sanity’s sake

Aquarius - coming around to giving you another chance, or you are

Pisces - someone you’re either married to, or want to be, a stable foundation and a lot of attraction, this is a beautiful relationship

#sagittarius tarot reading #person on your mind #July 2023 #Sagittarius #tarot #monthly compatibility

[realtalk-princeton]

my father is an incredibly toxic and abusive person. i'm afraid i can no longer live under the same roof as him without being constantly denigrated & like i'm losing my sanity. where can i access the continuous housing application for summer 2023? and most importantly: who can i speak to about my experiences? i definitely don't feel like i can be vulnerable enough to open up to evenclose friends about this & i'm scared that severing ties with my dad will mean the loss of my other family members

Response from Ocean:

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I don't think the application for continuous housing for summer is open yet, but when it is, you'll be able to access it through the Princeton Service Portal. I've never applied for continuous housing myself, but this is what the Housing website says. For reference, the winter continuous housing application closed at the end of November, and students got several emails mentioning it. I'd imagine for summer it wouldn't open up until after Spring Break. On the plus side, I don't know of anyone who's gotten rejected from continuous housing for identity-based concerns such as this one.

As for your more important question, you have several resources and people you can talk to.

First, I would like to mention your DSL/Assistant Dean for Student Life. They are there to help, and can definitely help with your continuous housing application and other concerns you have housing-wise. They can also help connect you to other resources as needed.

If you still live in your residential college, you also have a Residential Life Coordinator and an RCA/ARCA. These people are also here to help/listen to your concerns. If you're comfortable with your RCA/ARCA, just ask to talk to them. A big chunk of our jobs is just listening to students, I've done things like this several times before. They will also handle your information sensitively and privately, and you don't have to worry about anyone else finding out. If you got along well with one of your past RCAs, and you still have their contact info, I'm sure they'd be happy to hear from you as well, even if it is just to unload on them.

Finally, there is CPS. I saved this for last not because it is less important than the other resources, but because I'm sure this is kind of an obvious answer you may have considered before. I know some students have their frustrations with CPS, but I've always gotten what I needed from them. They're very familiar with dealing with these types of family issues, it comes up a lot with college students. (It's your first time living on your own, your childhood is still fresh in your mind, you're still working out the kind of relationship you want to have with your parents/family as an adult.) They can also refer you to an outside therapist that accepts your health insurance, which can be a very helpful space to process all of this and try and figure out your next steps. Therapy has been important for me and for many of my friends, and I'd encourage you to seek it out even if you feel like there's nothing 'wrong' with you. It is designed to be a private, confidential space for you to process this on your own and with guidance from a professional.

Good luck, and sending well wishes to you.

[thetruearchmagos]

Hello, Arch! This is in regards to my ask event I've been putting on all day that you reblogged. Thank you for participating!

The questions I'm going to send are to Gustav. :)

Gustav, what is your favorite show or movie, if you have that kind of media in your world?

What do you love about your society?

What do you love about your best friend, if you have one?

Would you consider yourself friendly? Why or why not?

What do you think is overrated and really should just go away?

Have a great weekend!

Ahh, hello hello, thank you!

I'm tempted to answer this in a First Person interview style, we'll see how that goes!

------

Hmm, hard to pick. I'd like to think a little production called "Legion Of The Lost" will always have a special place in my heart. It's a war series, I doubt you'd have heard of it, though it was quite liked by my fellow colleagues in uniform. A fairly historically accurate telling of the fighting my old unit, the 3rd Internationals, went through back in the 1st Great War, and I am proud to say I was part of the production team for it, which might colour my views. I helped out with ensuring as honest of a telling of me and my comrades experiences as possible, and whenever I watch through it again every few months, I'm fairly certain I succeeded!

2.

Ahh, well, call me a patriotic old ideologue, but I do appreciate how much we are all so skilled at bickering and riling up each other here in the United Commonwealth, yet always able to rely on each other when the stakes are high. As a foreign import myself, I personally never experienced much pushback for my heritage, and having observed the "social dynamics", so to speak, at play within the populaces of the Commonwealth, I do enjoy all the so common, harmless stereotypes everyone seems to have associated with themselves. All Albish are snobby, cunning plotters, all Bardinians are straightlaced puritans, and so on. Yet behind all the jabs and jokes, you'd never find a people more united and willing to fight for the common right and good of all than amongs the people of this Commonwealth. And, I suppose, that's why I feel so honoured to be able to live my life in service of protecting that golden ideal.

3.

Well, let's see... I think I'd have to go with Jean, no offence to anyone else of course! He's a grumpy, tough, bitter sonuvabitch, but a stunning genius through and through, and a harder worker in this Army it'd be hard to find. Perpertually stressed, moments away from strokes he might appear in fact, he takes on his duties as my Chief of Staff with an abandon that has, quite frankly, won me a war and saved me my life and sanity. His sense of humour, and utterly unforgiving attitude to toxic mindsets I've struggled with on occasion, make him an intolerable yet vital friend, and one I'm more than lucky to have.

4.

Well, I suppose so. As a senior general, we're all encouraged to put in work to foster personal and professional relationships with our colleagues and coworkers, and I'm proud to say I'm on good terms with many I've worked with. Friendship itself is something I've never been to sharp at, but I'm always open to close relationships and a good laugh.

5.

The Air Force.... Hah! Sorry, bit of an in-Service joke there, I'm more than comfortable with the independence of our younger sister service. Really, I think I'd have to go with "singing Army marches on holidays" and such events. I'll always appreciate the support from the public for the work we put in, but the tunes of "Right About" and "The Internationals" have a solemn history to them that simply doesn't fit a drunken Christmas revelry, and I'll stand by that!

#worldbuilding #writeblr #writing #my writing #asks #my ocs

[sugarylawliet]

no good for me (light yagami x reader)

i’m back lol

> warnings: smut, degradation, spit kink, inappropriate use of the death note, VERY toxic relationship, song fic kinda, lyrics are in bold and italics, based off of diet mountain dew by lana del ray

> tag list: @ygm1slt @cradiot28

❛ you’re no good for me, baby you’re no good for me ❜

Nothing on this earth scared you more than the man you were about to see; the pretty boy brunette flaunting good grades and a picturesque family life whose facade of ambitious, respectful young man was a mask almost no one could see through. Some people felt dread at the thought of spiders or snakes, felt fear in their stomach imagining the paranormal, shadow ghosts or criminal stalkers invading their comfort zones. None of these perfectly rational fears scared you the way Light Yagami scared you. There was no fear to be had at the thought of something undesirable creeping its way into your privacy or comfort zone, because Light had manipulated his way into your comfort and trust long ago. He was scarier than a murderer ready to kill at an urge’s call, his blood lust hid in shadows behind his golden boy facade, his words were tools and his touches were negotiations. You couldn’t trust a single thing that came from his mouth, you often questioned your own sanity. Light Yagami had a terrifying grip on you, and it was exactly what he wanted.

Your eyes scan over the text Light had sent you for the millionth time, the words almost ingrained in your head at this point.

Come to my house. We need to talk. 

You were sure he kept his words vague on purpose, yet another tactic to keep you at his disposal out of pure fear. You weren’t exactly sure if you loved Light anymore; what was your definition of love at this point? You loved him, yes, but was it out of obligation? Was it survival instinct?

It was true, in the beginning you had loved Light purely and truly. You believed his ambition was justice, to make the world a better and safer place for you. But as time went on, “Kira doesn’t kill innocents” began racking up more and more exceptions, and as the twisted justifications spilled from his mouth, so did the gaslighting. Over and over, his sweet words convinced you to keep coming back. His empty promises were a drug and you were addicted. 

His text, you were sure, was a reference to this fizzling out of your love for him. He could sense it, and surely he must have found out you were planning on leaving. You weren’t planning on revealing that he’s Kira- that would cause more commotion you were not interested in being a part of- no, you simply wanted to move states, get away and forget about Light Yagami, forget about Kira and Ryuzaki and Ryuk and everything that has overtaken your life. However, if he did find out your plans to skip town, you may just have to reveal that he’s Kira for safety measures.

❛ you’re no good for me, but baby i want you ❜

Hestiently, you opened the door you had been staring at blankly for what felt like hours. Light had been staying in an upscale hotel during the investigation, so maybe the other tenants could hear you if you screamed for help; the overdramatic thought brought you comfort. 

You walk in the room, closing the door behind you. You’re met with the sight of Light’s back as he sits in the rolling chair across the room. In the absence of any words, without even seeing his face, you know he’s mad. Every slight change of Light’s emotions could strangle a whole room by tension alone; his aura manipulated the feeling in the air, which served as a helpful alarm to know when he is upset. And man, is he upset.

You open your mouth to greet him, but he cuts you off, spinning around in his chair to face you, “Don’t talk.” You nod and close your mouth. Why do you even listen to what he says?

“I knew I couldn’t trust you. From the very beginning I knew you would run that pretty little mouth of yours. I know you’re planning on leaving. And then what? Telling the first news outlet you see that I’m Kira?”

“No Light,”

“I said don’t talk.” He stands up from his chair, “If you tell everyone, you’ll also have to tell on yourself. Imagine what everyone would think of you if they knew...You knew I was Kira and you still dated me, you defended me, you kept my secret, you even got on your knees for me. Are you gonna tell that to the media? That you let Kira fuck you?”

You purse your lips, restraining yourself from talking back. You knew it would only make things worse, but you couldn’t stand the way he talked down on you and expected you to take it. 

“Come here.” He motioned to his desk and you followed, sitting on his lap per his instruction. He placed the death note open on the desk, handing you the pen. With one hand gripping yours and the other on your hip, he began to guide your hand, the pen spilling out the first letter of your name on the pages.

❛ do you think we’ll be in love forever? ❜

“N-No, Light, you can’t do this, please.” You begged, your heart rate quickening as you realize what he was doing. It can’t end like this, it just can’t.

“Shhh, just write. That’s it, baby. This is what bad girls get, you see?” His death grip tightened on your hand as he spelled out your name, the last letters leering closer and closer before you could register the implications of what he was doing. This was it, this was really it.

Light lets his free hand wander up to your jawline, pulling your face closer to yours and enveloping you in a kiss as he wrote the last letter of your name. You shake your head with a whine, however he disregards your concerns and runs his hand on your upper thigh. 

“What’s the matter, Y/n? Don’t wanna spend your last moments with me?~” His nose kisses your neck, and the soft, sensual gestures almost make you forget your life was quite literally slipping away at every second that ticked by. 40 seconds. You had 40 seconds to do something.

You jump off of Light’s lap, reality rushing to your lungs as you felt your world closing in. Your pants become heavier, harsh air ripping through your throat as if they were the last breaths you would ever take because, well- they were.

Your head felt buzzing and dizzy as you fell to your knees, crawling towards Light who had spun around in his chair so his back was facing you; completely apathetic. After all you’ve been through together, after all you’ve done for him, nothing. Nothing at all. 

You crawl closer, grasping towards the notebook Light held in his hands, your weakness limiting your reach as anxiety stole your clearness of mind. He only  chuckles at your meek attempts to save your own life. Your head was racing as your nervousness blacked out everything in the room except for the little black notebook your boyfriend had a death grip on; ‘I’m running out of time, I’m going to die, I need the death note, I need to cross my name out, I need it I need it I need it I-’

“Goodbye, Y/N. You were fun to play with for a while.” Light kisses your nose with an arrogant smirk, peeling your hands off from his lap and wrists before checking his watch, signaling your last few seconds. 

You quit your pitiful attempts to grab the notebook and instead push yourself further and further away from Light until your back hit the wall, lacing your fingers tightly in your hair as you cried your last moments away. 

“5, 4, 3 2...” Light spoke.

“No no no no no, please god,” You cried out, squeezing your eyes shut in preparation for the pangs you would soon feel in your chest.

“1...”

And

Nothing.

You breathe. You let the air flood your lungs; it shouldn’t be possible. You dare to open your eyes, revealing the same scene. You, pathetically on the floor with tears down your face, Light before you in his chair with his head thrown back in a maniacal laugh. 

He tossed the death note down to you, like a dog being thrown a bone. You frantically grab it and flip to the newest page, your name scratched out with two thick lines. 

You were alive- no, he let you live.

❛ hit me my darling tonight, i don’t know why but i like it

“Well?” Light asks expectingly, standing up from his chair and kicking it to the side of the room. You look up at him questioningly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as tears still brimmed your eyes from the just-curved anxiety attack.

“No ‘thank you’? I spared your life even after you betrayed me- lied to me. You’re so ungrateful.”

“I, I-” You found it difficult to shape your words with your hitching breath. You inhale deeply, eyes closed, calming down, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Light.”

Why were you even apologizing?

“I’m so sorry, please, just take me back. I’m sorry.” The words spilled from your mouth so quickly simply because they felt right. You needed to apologize, you did wrong, you need to be good. You wanted him back more than anything so you can be good.

❛ scary, my god, you’re divine ❜

“That’s right,” Light smiled, his voice softening unnaturally, “Now, how about you come over here and show me just how sorry you are.”

You hesitate for a second before crawling over to him. You sit obediently with your legs beneath your thighs on the floor in front of him.

“Mm, that’s my babygirl.” He pets your head affectionately, coherencing a smile from you. Despite everything he’s done, he always knew how to reel you back in. You needed the approval. You needed his approval.

You look up at him with puppydog eyes, to which he cocks his head to the side. “You know what I want.”

Nodding, you slowly unzipper his khaki pants and pull out his cock. You run your hand up and down, pumping it slowly. 

“Don’t be a fucking tease” Light scoffs, raking his fingers through your hair and forcing your mouth down onto him. That sweet, caring demeanor was gone in barley a second- of course it was. What were you expecting? It was a thinly veiled facade and you fell for it everytime without exception. 

Light groans, pushing your head further onto him as you try not to gag. You feel the tip of him hit the back of your throat as he thrusts into your mouth faster. “God, Y/N, you take my cock so well. Hah, if only the media could see you now. Poor little Y/N wants to run away from big bad Kira, meanwhile here she is on her knees for him, sucking him off like the dirty slut she is.”

He lets out a deep sigh before pulling out of your mouth. “Be useful for once and get on the bed.” He commands, bringing you to your feet with his strong grip on your hair and pushing you in the direction of the bed. You obey, sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for his next instruction.

Light slinks over to you, standing over your figure as his delicate fingers dance up your inner thigh. He takes off your skirt and slowly rubs your clit through the fabric of your panties.

“Mmm, Light, more...” You buck your hips up to meet his touch, his movements were agonizingly slow and you needed more friction.

“More?” At once he removes his hand from between your legs and grabs your face, your jaw in between the tight hold of his thumb and forefingers. “You want more, huh? You don’t get to make demands of me. You really think i’m gonna give you what you want after that stunt you pulled? Hah, I’m not letting you off that easy.”

You let out a whine, bucking your hips again asking to be touched.

“Aww, poor baby...” Light cooed, “Open up.” You obeyed, opening your mouth before Light brought your face closer to his, spitting in your mouth. “Now swallow.”

You do, earning a smirk from Light. “Mm, good girl. Good girls get rewarded.”

He pulls your panties aside before dipping two slender fingers inside you; wasting no time, he pumps them in and out frantically.

“Oh god Light, fuck,”

“You’re so wet for me Y/N, you like this, don’t you? I knew you would, such a dirty whore. You like when I treat you like this? You like being treated for the slut you are? God, you probably got wet when I almost killed you. It makes me hard, having you under my thumb like this, under my control...”

“Fuck Light, it feels so good, I’m close...”

Quickly, he removes his fingers from you once again, earning a cry from you at the loss of heat. “Please Light, I need you so bad,” You beg.

“What did I say? You’re still not forgiven for that stunt you pulled. Don’t whine.” He wraps his hand around your throat, pushing you down onto your back.

He fully pulls his boxers down, aligning himself with your entrance.

“Beg for it.”

“Please, please light, god, I need it so badly. I want you.”

“Hmm, yeah? You’re so desperate for my cock? I’m not convinced.”

“Please, Light, I’ll never be bad again, I’ll never mess up again. I need your cock so badly, I need you to use me. Do anything you want.”

“Mm, that’s more like it,” Light remarks before pushing into you, earning a loud moan. HIs thrusts were slow, no doubt teasing you.

“Oh, Light, please, faster...”

“More demands? God, you’re such a needy slut. Fine.” His grip on your throat tightens, pushing you further into the bed as he snaps his hips into you without mercy. His pace is relentless, quickly finding your g-spot.

“Fuck, Light. It... it feels- fuck,”

“Hah, stupid slut, what’s wrong? Cat’s got your tongue? Or is it me fucking you so hard you can’t even think straight, can’t form sentences?”

His words only egg on your approaching orgasam, “Hmmph, it- it feels so good. I’m gonna...”

With that, Light pulls you up slightly by your neck before slamming you roughly back into the bed, thrusting into you with speed. “Cum, show me how sorry you are.”

You obey, releasing with a loud moan of his name. He finishes soon after, roughly letting go of your throat. “Clean yourself up. You look like a fucking mess.”

You slip your panties and skirt back on as Light sits apathetically at his desk, his focus buried in paperwork. You heart skinks to your stomach. 

Once you finish dressing, Light allows you to leave, informing you of the Kira case work he had to finish and opening the door for you. 

“And Y/N,” He catches your attention before you step into the hallway of the hotel, “Let this be a lesson. Don’t ever try to leave me again. You’re mine.” He grabs your jaw and kisses you tenderly- but you weren’t stupid. You knew the motivation behind it, and let you still kissed his soft lips back and let yourself melt into him. 

“Goodbye,” He remarks after pulling away, “Behave yourself.”. The door slams in your face. 

You can still feel his cum dripping from your heat daring to spill out of your panties. The hallway was empty, allowing reality to rush to you at once. Your senses only seem clear when you were alone- with Light, you didn’t see with your own eyes or hear with your own ears.

You let your back touch the door of Light’s hotel room, slowly sliding down until you were sitting on the carpeted floor. Your life was broken pieces and you cut yourself picking up the glass shards, relishing in the fact that your boyfriend liked the way the blood looked on your pricked fingers.

❛  hurt me and tell me you’re mine, i don’t know why but i like it. ❜

#i did not proof read this lol sorry for mistakes #Light Yagami #light yagami x reader #light yagami x reader smut #light yagami smut #toxic! light yagami #death note #death note smut #anime #death note x reader

[patt-writes-stuff]

Violetgrass (Xiao x f!reader)

Pairing: Yan!Xiao x f!reader

Word count: 6.7K+

Warnings: not the most canon complaint cuz the timeline for the archon War is a little blurry? Angst with no happy ending, major and repeated character death, semi-detailed descriptions of blood, injuries, and violence. Unhealthy and toxic relationships, yandere themes, mentions of stalking, controlling behavior, mentions of kid-napping, forced captivity. Unhealthy mindsets and generally xiao’s kinda slowly losing his sanity. Some delusions. Allusions of starvation/dehydration (it’s like one sentence). Pleas do not read this if any of the previously mentioned topics trigger you in any way.

Genre: Angst and Yandere

Tags/Aus: Mythology Au, Reincarnation Au

Summary: You and Xiao were lovers during the Archon War. You were his paradise, his bliss, and, unfortunately, a fragile mortal who was taken away far too soon. However Celestina was kind enough, or perhaps cruel enough, to bring you back to Xiao, only to rip you out of his loving embrace once more. This happens again and again, each time far more painfully than the last. Even an Adeptus such as Xiao can only take so much before he snaps though. This time, he’s gonna make sure that no one, not even you, can take his bliss away.

A/N: This is my piece for the Attack on Academia Mythology Au Collab!! Be sure to check the rest of them, they’re all super awesome and made by amazing writers!

You’ve heard the myth about the Vigilant Yaksha and the violetgrass maiden, haven’t you?

It’s said that the two are eternally intertwined, destined to love each other, only to be ripped apart by both her mortality and the cruelty of the gods. The tale itself goes like this…

The first time the Adeptus and his mortal lover met was back when the Archon War was still roaring. The smell of blood and misery filled the air and Rex Lapis had yet to claim his title as the Geo Archon. Despite this, some managed to find joy and serenity in these troubling periods.

The maiden was one of those people. She found joy in frolicking through the fields and climbing the highest mountains to collect qingxin flowers and, her personal favorite, violetgrass, whenever she had the time. Though climbing up the steep mountains and jagged peaks of Liyue was indeed dangerous, the damsel had become quite skilled at climbing, her hold rarely ever slipping, no falls or cuts of any sort.

Until one day, the maiden was climbing up a particular mountain. It was a troublesome one, for there were no proper footholds or protruding stones to grab on to. Still, the pretty violetgrass that was just a foot or two away from her, swaying gently with the wind, was far too tempting to not collect. It would look so lovely in a flower crown, or maybe a vase, perhaps she could flatten it out to make a bookmark or-

A piercing shriek escaped the mortal. Whilst her thoughts had been elsewhere, she’d stopped on a small ledge that was far too fragile to support her weight, the rock beneath the maiden gave away to nothing before she could react.

She shut their eyes tightly, bracing herself for an impact that would surely leave her battered and bruised, if not dead.

However, it never came.

Instead, she was caught mid-air by a pair of strong arms that secured their hold under the mortal woman’s knees and neck. She didn’t open her eyes right away, for fear that she would still fall, choosing instead to catch their breath. Once her savior landed safely on the ground, something she was able to detect due to the thud of shoes against the earth, she slowly opened her eyes.

Upon opening them, her eyes met with the piercing amber eyes of a young man with dark hair (the color of the ocean at night, she thought dreamily) with pretty teal bangs framing his even prettier face. His brows were furrowed slightly, thin lips twisted into what seemed to be a permanent frown. In her still dazed state, she couldn’t help but think that he was far too handsome to look so dreadfully serious.

After an intense moment of eye contact, perhaps too intense for two strangers that had met only seconds prior, he let her go in a rather unceremonious manner, causing her to squawk in surprise, knees buckling under the unexpected weight. She had not yet had a chance to gather her bearings after such a terrifying event.

Instead of asking if she was alright, the young man simply said, in a rather crude and callous manner, “You should be more careful, mortal. If I hadn’t been there to catch you, you would’ve surely broken your neck.”

She gawked at him. Mortal? Why would he refer to her in such an… odd way?

The maiden looked at him up and down, as if trying to understand just what was wrong with this poor man. Suddenly, it struck her. She’d been an absolute idiot to not have noticed sooner. From the tattoo that adorned his right arm to the way he held himself, it had been so obvious.

Her savior was an Adeptus.

He wasn’t just an Adeptus, no. He was much more than that. He was one of the Adepti who served under Rex Lapis. He was one of the five Yakshas who kept her and the people of Liyue safe if the mask tied to his belt was any indication. And instead of killing demons or evil gods, he’d taken the time to save her.

Before she could muster an adequate thank you, he, who she’d now realized was Adeptus Xiao, was already leaving, uttering a quick “Please be careful,” on his way.

Quickly, and without really thinking, she grabbed onto his wrist, blabbering out the words, “Wait, don’t go! You must allow me to repay you for your generous actions!”

The amber-eyed Adeptus opened his mouth, ready to declare that it was unnecessary, but before he could, the damsel spoke up, “I could cook you something in return. How about almond tofu?” with a small giggle she added, “I assure you it’s sweeter than those dreams you eat.”

To both of their surprises, Xiao uttered a quiet, almost shy, “Yes.”

The Adeptus didn’t know what had come over him. All he knew is that there was something about the way her eyes sparkled and her lips moved, her soothing, melodious voice. It made his heart pound in a way it never had before.

And so, she cooked him some almond tofu, and they- well, she- talked as he ate the mouthwatering sweet.

He came back the day after that one and the one after that, followed on by the one after that, and so on. Xiao hadn’t meant to, really he hadn’t. But there was something about the maiden that just brought him a peace he had never experienced before. Her warm embrace and soft, gentle words were all he needed to keep fighting, to keep living, even. She was his paradise, his bliss. It wasn’t long until they were mutually infatuated with one another, deeply in love.

Every time he would visit her home, he would always bring her the flowers she so adored. Glaze lilies, silk flowers, and of course, violetgrass. Xiao had even gifted her a small broach, one made of the finest noctilucous jade, shaped like the downturned purple flower.

Unfortunately, everything is temporary for those punished with immortality.

The first time Xiao lost his maiden was, as he remembers, a rainy day. Despite the dreary weather, she had decided to go violetgrass picking since they’re always best picked after the rain.

But, dear Archons, what a dreadful idea that had been.

While the purple flower is indeed best picked after it rains, it is also the time when rocks are most… slippery.

So, as the maiden was climbing up the steep mountains of Juyen Karst, her right hand’s hold on the rock slipped, causing her palm to be cut open by a particularly jagged piece of stone. She hissed in, watching as blood began to ooze out. Panic started to seep in, there was no ledge for her to tend to her wound, and the cut was far too big for her to continue to climb up or down.

Dread began to fill her to her very core, she felt burning hot with unchecked anxiety, fear begging to settle into her gut in the most uncomfortable of manners. She should have waited for Xiao as he had asked of her. Ever since they had first met, a year ago to the day, he’d been so adamant on wanting to go with her to ensure her safety. She’d only wanted to surprise him with some when he returned home. The maiden was so sure it would’ve been a romantic anniversary gift, seeing as they were the cause of their meeting…

She’d been such a fool.

The violetgrass maiden attempted to climb down but Celestia seemed to laugh at her feeble attempts. She stretched her leg, trying to find the foothold she had used previously. However, her foot slipped and before she knew it, she was falling, just as she had been a year ago.

Horror filled her lungs, making it hard for her to breathe, her life flashed before her eyes, and then suddenly she remembered some words her lover had uttered to her one night under the glow of the moonlight when it was but the two of them in each other’s arms:

“If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door, call out my name, Adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call.”

And so she called, at the top of her lungs, as loud as she could muster. The seconds seemed to turn to hours as she shut her eyes and waited to feel the strong arms of her lover, to hear the safety of his heartbeat.

But it never came.

Or rather, it came too late.

By the time Xiao had finished up the demonic creatures that threatening Liyue, by the time he’d answered her call, he was already too late.

Upon manifesting in the air out of nothing, he was greeted by the side of his love’s pitiful, mortal body. Her garments were bloody, the basket she carried her flowers in laid a few feet away from her body,her neck bent in a painfully awkward way.

Xiao felt so helpless. He was so helpless.

He could do no more than hold back the tears stinging his eyes and attempting to shake her awake.

The second time Xiao met the maiden was no more than a century after the first time. The Archon War was not yet over and sickness plagued every nook and cranny, taking the lives of hundreds upon thousands.

The two star-crossed lovers were reunited one clear summer night when the maiden was wandering aimlessly through the fields of Lingju Pass. She knew it was dangerous during these times, especially with how ill she had been feeling as of late. Yet, she couldn’t bring herself to care. She’d already spent hours tossing and turning in her bed. Sleep, however, refused to come. Instead, she felt the overwhelming urge to leave the safety of her bed and go there. It was as if someone had tied a rope around her waist and was tugging at it persistently, insisting she follows.

And so she followed.

Upon reaching a clearing, she froze. In front of her very eyes was a sitting Stonehide Lawachurl, the type even the fiercest warriors in your village struggled with. The maiden quickly started backing away, praying to the Lord of Geo that it wouldn’t sense her presence. Her prayers were in vain, however, for as soon as the thought escaped her, she stepped on a twig, making it snap and effectively alerting the fearsome monster of her presence.

She shook in terror as parts of the Lawachurl’s rocky exterior began to glow with geo elemental energy. She hadn’t expected anything of the sort to happen so she hadn’t brought her sword, meaning she couldn’t exactly fight it, definitely not without a vision at least. Running wasn’t much of an option considering her body’s weak and ill state. She could try to outrun it, sure, but it wouldn’t be long before she was driven to a coughing fit because of it.

Before life had a chance to flash before her eyes, a masked young man appeared. Distantly, she recognized him as one of the adepti and watched him easily defeat the Stonehide Lawachurl with a series of short, consecutive plunges. She couldn’t help but watch him, mouth agape in an expression of pure, unadulterated awe. The Adeptus didn’t even need a claymore to break through the creature’s thick, hard exterior. As bad as she felt for not assisting him, she knew she weren’t exactly in any position to lend a hand. Not that she needed to, though, for soon enough the monster crumbled into nothing but red and black smoke.

After a second of panting over the remains of what was left of the creature, polearm in hand, Xiao turned to her and felt his blood run cold.

It was her.

How could it be her? She had died long ago. He knew she had, he’d cradled her cold body as tears streamed down his face. He’d taken her lifeless body back to her family. He’d left flowers at her grave.

This had to be some sort of sick joke, he thought, perhaps the karmic debt was finally getting to him, just like it had his fellow Yakshas.

Suddenly, his amber eyes zeroed in on a broach she had pinned to her dress. A Violetgrass broach, to be exact. Made of noctilucous jade, just like the one he had given her. The one he’d made for her with his own hands. There was no denying it was the very one. Only, how could that be? He had ensured it had been buried with you…

But it was an indisputable fact. That broach was the one he had made for his love and the woman before him was her. It was her from her wide eyes, fixated on him with the same wonder they had always had when they looked at him. Her hair was the same color and texture, and it framed her face in the same way. It was her.

The beginnings of tears stung at his eyes. Perhaps Celestia had brought you back? Perhaps they’d finally realized, just as he had always known, that her death was cruel and unfair. That it wasn’t meant to be. That she was meant to be in his arms, happy and safe.

“Uhm- excuse me, Adeptus Xiao, are you alright?” She inquired worriedly, eyes solely on him, filled to the brim with concern.

‘Oh Archons’, he couldn’t help but think distantly, ‘I’ve missed her voice.’

Instead of running up to her and crushing him in his loving embrace, he stayed where he was, took off his mask, nodded briskly, swallowing as if to avoid the tightness in his throat. She didn’t seem to remember him yet, so there was no use in frightening her.

Before he could muster up the courage to speak to her, his love began to cough furiously, though she attempted to cover it up. She didn’t want to be rude to her savior, after all.

“Ha, pardon me, sir, I’ve just been feeling a bit under the weather is all,” she told him feebly.

He nodded brusquely, before uttering, “I shall return you home safely.”

“Oh no, I assure you, you’ve done more than enough for me. I can’t ask that of you,” she fumbled hurriedly, though his words were more of a statement than a question.

Xiao had never been one for unnecessary- or at least what he thought were unnecessary- words, so instead of saying anything, the Adeptus simply grabbed her by the waist and teleported you home, after asking where home was, of course.

The next day, the Yaksha visited the maiden’s home, a bushel of violetgrass flowers in hand. She’d been understandably surprised, yet thrilled that the dark-haired man was visiting her. She hadn’t expected someone as busy as him to make time for a regular person such as herself, especially not during these times.

“These are my favorite flowers, y’know? They’re just so beautiful,” the maiden exclaimed gleefully.

He did know. That had been one of the reasons he had brought them to her. The second reason was because of what happened last time, in her previous life, he supposed. Celestia had been kind enough to gift him a second chance with his love, and he was going to ensure that it did not go to waste.

And so, every day he would visit her. Some days he would bring silk flowers, or glaze lilies, while other days he would bring her loach pearls and core lapis. Not a day went by where he would not appear in front of the damsel’s house, a gift in hand, ready to hear her ramble about whatever that beautiful brain of hers desired to prattle on about.

“You’re simply too generous Xiao,” she’d told him playfully while she laid in her bed, as she was still unwell, the Adeptus seated in a plush chair next to it. “There has to be something I can give you in return for everything. I won’t take no for an answer.”

He thought for a moment, before asking, tentatively, “Do you know how to make almond tofu?”

He’d never forget her dazzling smile that day, as she shakily got out of her bed, latching onto the support he offered while she gathered her bearings, and marched to her kitchen, enthusiastically preparing the sweet treat as she talked about a book she’d been reading, one that’d been gifted to her by a friend, titled Moonlit Bamboo Forest.

The lovers did this every day for months. Xiao brought her some medicinal tea that Rex Lapis himself said could cure her ailments. They did indeed begin to see improvement in her health and Xiao couldn’t help but feel immense relief. This time, he wouldn’t lose her for certain.

Until the plagues reached her village.

She’d been one of the first to catch it since the village doctor came to check on her so often, he’d spread it to her. The plague, coupled with her previous illness, weakened her body in a manner of days. One day, Xiao went to get some medicine his fellow adepti had guaranteed would help the maiden feel better.

When he returned later that day, however, he found her body in the bed, cold and without a pulse, the stench of death and sickness thick in the air.

That was the second time he had lost her.

The third time the star-crossed lovers met was long after the archon war. Liyue was now its own nation with its own name, the great center of wealth and commerce. The Yakshas were now a thing of the past, having succumbed to their karmic debt. Eventually, they all fell in one way or another.

All but Xiao, who remained a constant throughout it all.

Over the past decade or so, Xiao had taken to staying at the Wangshu Inn when he wasn’t slaying monsters. The people were nice enough, though he had long given up on attempting to form emotional connections with others. It would only lead to grief, just like it had when he’d lost his love or his fellow Yakshas, and there was only so much grief anyone, mortal or not, could take before their thread of sanity snapped in half. And with his Karmic Debt being as bad as it was…

As Xiao sat at the edge of the balcony of the Wangshu Inn, legs dangling below, he couldn’t help but think of her, his maiden. He wondered if, perhaps, Celestia would give him a third chance and bring her back to him. Honestly, the Adeptus wasn’t sure he wanted a third chance with her. While he did miss the sound of her heartbeat and the sweet words she’d utter to him and only him, he doubted he could bear the pain of having her ripped away from him once again.

It’s as if Celestia was taunting Xiao. As if the Archons above were bored and found some sick amusement in his pain as if his emotions were nothing but a game to them. What other explanations were there for what happened next?

“Um- excuse me, do you mind if I sit here?” An angelic voice he knew far too well, missed far too much, spoke.

Xiao looked up and lo and behold, it was her. Same hair, same eyes, same violetgrass broach.

She stood behind him clutching a plate of something, though the angle wouldn’t allow him to make up what it was. Her face adorned that same anxious smile of hers and he could feel himself falling in love with the maiden all over again. He knew he should say no. He shouldn’t allow her back in, not when he’s already lost her so many times before, not when they’d both suffered so much just by being together.

He nodded before looking away.

He shouldn’t but he would.

“I hope you don’t mind me intruding on your quiet time,” she said softly once she had settled beside him. When he made no indication of answering, she continued, “To be honest, you just seemed so… sad, melancholic even. Something about it, even if I don’t really know you, doesn’t sit right with me. It makes my heart feel heavy.”

The violetgrass maiden received no response, except for a soft grunt of acknowledgment, so small she wasn’t sure she hadn’t imagined it. Still, it was all she needed to perk up and stretch her arms out, offering him the plate she’d been holding.

“Here, I got this for you,” she told him, “word around the streets is you’ve got quite an appetite for it! Though this is my first time staying at the Inn, so I’m not sure if it’s any good here.”

Xiao looked at her, amber eyes filled with love. He was glad to know that, despite living through many lives now, she was still the girl he’d met back then, as sweet as he’d remembered her, just as caring.

He shouldn’t have but he took the plate from her hands and began to eat.

Instead of saying anything, she simply watched him as he ate, a silly little smile making its way to her face. The look on his lady’s face had him growing hot and turning beet red

“So,” he coughed out, embarrassed, “where’d you get a broach like that?”

“Oh, this one?” She inquired, pointing at the shiny violetgrass broach, “I found it lying on the ground one day when I was out picking lotus heads for dinner. I asked just about everyone in Liyue Harbor if it was theirs, but no luck. I eventually decided to just keep it for myself. It is a shame though, whoever lost it must truly be upset over losing such a beautiful piece of jewelry. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

He nodded along, thinking that, well, the broach actually was with its owner.

“It’s as if it were fate though,” she prattled on happily, watching the stars as she talked, “Violeygrass is my very favorite, always has been really. Though, I’ve always been too scared to climb up for them myself. You see, ever since I was little, I’ve had this recurring nightmare where I fell to my death while collecting some.”

The Adeptus stilled for a second, tense. She hadn’t ever brought up dreams about her past life. Maybe this time was different, maybe she’d remember what he did!

“Oh my Archons,” she exclaimed, face warm with embarrassment, scratching the back of her head sheepishly, “I’ve been going on and on! I’m so sorry, something about you feels so familiar. It makes me feel like I can tell you just about everything. Is that weird?”

His heart was racing like it hadn’t in years, decades even.

“You can tell me whatever you want,” he answered shortly, “I don’t mind listening. You have a nice voice.”

The maiden covered her hands with her face, flustered, and Xiao let out a rare smile, soft and gentle. This time would be different. He’d make sure of it.

After that day, the maiden began to visit the Wangshu Inn often, whenever she could spare time away from her job. Unbeknownst to her, however, Xiao followed at a distance when she wasn’t visiting him, to ensure her safety. He knew it wasn’t right, truly, but he had no other choice. He had to, or else he’d risk losing her to an accident such as last time, fall ill again, attacked by monsters or, Celestia forbid, be kidnapped by a group of treasure hoarders.

He’d have to get rid of any and all threats.

So, Xiao continued to follow his maiden from a distance, he made sure she was in tip-top shape, and ruthlessly slaughtering all enemies that he deemed a threat to her, until he was certain nothing would take her away from him again.

Except for one threat. Himself.

The third time he’d lost her was on a beautiful night, not that Xiao could remember it well. His love had insisted on the two of them taking a walk. She’d reasoned that the cool night air would help him regain control. His karmic debt had been weighing on him an awful lot recently and she simply couldn’t bear to see him in such excruciating pain.

The walk had started off rather pleasantly, as far as Xiao could remember. He could remember nudging his hand against hers, wanting to hold it but being far too shy to do so. With a laugh and a teasing remark, the maiden interlaced their fingers, bringing up their hands to place a gentle kiss on his, making the tips of his ears redden in bashfulness. They’d walked a little further until they encountered a group of hilichurls accompanied by a pyro abyss mage. Without skipping a beat, Xiao stepped in front of his lover, polearm appearing in his hand.

And then…

Everything went dark. Xiao’s mind was nothing but a void, pain exploded in every inch of his body as his karmic debt returned in full force to punish him for the slaughtering he’d committed.

When he came to, his mind was hazy, unsure of what had occurred. The Yaksha sat up, ignoring the way his muscles protested against it, and looked around, trying to make sense of what had happened and where he was.

Xiao froze when his eyes locked onto her pitiful body laying a few feet ahead of him in the grass surrounded by arrowheads and broken hilichurl masks, blood turning ice-cold. If he ignored the gashes across her body, the ones that were unmistakably made by the bloody spear he was clutching and not some hilichurl club or bow and arrow, and the blood that stained her pretty garments, he could almost fool himself into thinking she was asleep.

This had been his doing.

After a few beats of stunned silence, the dark-haired Adeptus lurched forward grabbing onto her cold body and shaking ruthlessly, calling out her name frantically, as if it would make his love wake up, make her cradle his face lovingly and ask why he’d been crying.

Xiao looked up onto the sky scornfully, looking up at Celestia with nothing short of pure, unadulterated loathing. He was willing to bet they were all mocking him right now, laughing at how weak and pathetic he was, at how time after time, he’d failed to love her enough, to keep her alive. They did this on purpose he was sure of it, those bastards. Well, if they could play dirty like this, so could he. He’d get her back, he’d keep her alive by his side.

And just like that, Xiao’s thread of sanity snapped.

“You can’t take her away from me anymore,” he spoke to the sky nonsensically, “I won’t let you. I don’t care what I have to do, who I have to kill, you won’t take my bliss away from me again.”

“That story was quite depressing,” Chongyun stated, ceasing his footsteps to look to his friend, Xingqiu.

“Ah yes, it is indeed, my liege,” the navy blue-haired gentleman agreed, “However, I’m glad this book included the whole myth, instead of making me wait for the next volume like the last one.”

The light blue-haired boy rolled his eyes before saying, “As much as I appreciated you reading the book aloud, I don’t see how this aids us in our search for (Y/N).”

The reason the boys had been searching across all of Liyue, was because their aforementioned friend had mysteriously gone missing. Everything had been as it normally was until one day, (Y/N) didn’t show up at her job in the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, something that was incredibly unusual of her, especially without a warning to her boss or coworkers. This led Hu Tao, with the insistence of Zhongli, to ask Chongyun and Xingqiu, two of (Y/N)’s friends, for help in the search for her. They had also contacted the milelith, but they had told them that she’d not been missing for long enough to warrant a search party. The two had, of course, been quick to help, though Xingqiu had been rather enraptured in a book of Liyue Myths, simply insisting he’d have to take it with him so he could read while he searched for her.

“But my liege,” Xingqiu exclaimed playfully, golden eyes shining with mirth, “this story is of utmost importance in our search for our beloved friend. Why, for all we know, (Y/N) might’ve been kidnapped by the Vigilant Yaksha himself! She has always had a habit of climbing mountains to pick violetgrass like the maiden in the book”

“Do not be so ridiculous,” Chongyun said, rolling his eyes, “I doubt an Adeptus such as himself would ever commit such an atrocity of that degree against a citizen of Liyue. Besides, that myth is incredibly old and there’s very little evidence that proves its validity. It’s more likely that (Y/N) was taken by a demon. That is why I asked you to accompany me to Wuwang Hill.”

“I was simply joking Chongyun,” he said with a laugh before turning solemn, “However, regretfully I feel as though it is time for the two of us to return to Liyue Harbor for the day. You’ve just about run out of popsicles and with this heat, I have no doubt you’ll overheat if we keep going.”

“I’m afraid you’re right,” The blue-eyed boy admitted. “I hope (Y/N) is alright wherever she is.”

“I do as well,” Xingqiu agreed, “Perhaps Hu Tao and Zhongli have had more luck.”

Chongyun nodded, “Xiangling also said she’d ask her customers if they’d seen her.”

With that, the two boys made their way back to Lihue Harbor, oblivious to just how true Xingqiu’s joke had been.

Xiao sighed as he climbed up the stairs of Wangshu Inn up to his room. Of course, he did not need sleep, it was a mortal need in and of itself, or a room for that matter but Verr Goldet had insisted that he should have his own space, somewhere he could rest after long days of slaughtering demons such as this one.

The Adeptus turned the door handle, opening the door of an empty, pristine room. While the room had all of the furniture the other Inn rooms had, it still felt unnervingly empty, without any clothes or trinkets laying around. The only personal object of Xiao’s in the room was an orange teapot that rested on the nightstand.

Quickly, Xiao opened the tea pot’s lid, and within seconds he was standing in front of a Liyue style mansion, surrounded by mountains that he crafted to look like the ones from when the two of you had met all those centuries ago. Eager to see you, Xiao ignored Tubby’s greetings and opened the front door, making quick work of taking off his shoes before climbing the stairs to the second floor, where your room was.

He opened the door to find you sat atop your bed, alert and glaring at him fiercely. The Adeptus rolled his amber eyes, it seemed you were still trying to act out and be defiant. Looking around your room, mostly to make sure you hadn’t tried to smash the windows with the desk chair like last time (you seemed to not comprehend the fact that there was no escaping the serenetea pot, since it was a world Xiao himself had created), his eyes settled on the plate of bamboo shoot soup he’d left for you this morning, along with a still filled to the brim cup of water. He narrowed his eyes at that. It simply wouldn’t do. You’d been here for about a week now and you still refused to eat or drink anything he brought you, except for a few nibbles and sips he’d managed to threaten coax out of you. Xiao, admittedly, didn’t know very much about humans, but he did know they needed to eat and drink to stay alive. He’d learned that the hard way on his last few tries.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Xiao inquired before adding, “If you don’t like this food you should come out and say it. I can ask Smiley Yanxiao for something that suits your taste more.”

You let out a poorly suppressed scoff. This nut-job didn’t seem to get that out of all the things wrong in this situation, the last thing you were concerned about was the food. Dear Archons, just what is wrong with this man? First, he had the gall of taking you captive one evening when you were going home from work and now he had the audacity to expect you to act like a complacent little toy and go along with this insanity?

And to think that when you’d first met him whilst accompanying the Traveler and Paimon, who had been commissioned by Director Hu Tao to gather some cor lapis for a client’s ceremony, you’d been absolutely smitten with the awkward and stoic Adeptus. Everything from his pretty black hair to his captivating bright eyes had your knees weak. So much so that you’d ignored all of the red flags, like how he’d stare at you in such an intense manner, with eyes fixated on you and only you, how he seemed to distrust Aether, a trusted friend of his, when it came to him accompanying you, or how as soon as you’d met you had the horrible sensation of being watched at all times of the day. Just thinking back to all the warning signs you’d missed made your skin crawl. Perhaps if you hadn’t been such a lovesick idiot you’d be at home right now or eating dinner with Chongyun and Xingqiu, trying out one of Xianglings crazy concoctions containing slime condensate or whopper flower nectar.

Instead, you were trapped in an artificial world, in a room that looked horrifyingly similar to your own back home.

You were snapped out of your reverie by Xiao moving closer to your bed.

“Let me go home,” you said, hating how your voice cracked at the end. You felt so pathetic, you always prided yourself on being a headstrong independent person, and here you were, cowering at his closeness and avoiding all eye contact, as if looking at his pain filled eyes would ruin you.

“You are home,” he retorted, his voice bordering on delusion, “This is your home. This is where you're safe. Where you stay alive and I get to keep you forever.”

Xiao stretched out his arm, as if to cradle your cheek in his hand but before he got to you flinched away, backing away from him as far as you could, back hitting the headboard. You looked away, trying to ignore how guilty the pain that flashed through his eyes made you feel. You shouldn’t be the one feeling guilty.  He should be. He’s the one that stole you away from your home. He’s the one that ruined your life.

You look down at the violetgrass broach clasped onto your blouse in nothing short of complete and utter loathing. You’d been so captivated by it when you’d first found it at the antique shop while window shopping with Mr. Zhongli.

It had been exactly six months since you’d moved away from your home in the sleepy Qingce Village in exchange for a job at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor and a quaint apparently in the bustling city of Liyue Harbor. To celebrate, your coworker (and the person you had been shadowing in order to learn the ropes of the funeral business) Mr. Zhongli had insisted on going to Third-Round Knockout for some dinner. You’d been a bit hesitant at first, mostly because you knew well of the elegant gentleman’s habit of forgetting his wallet, but you enjoyed hearing his stories far too much to say no. Something about his retellings of stories about the Adepti just enraptured you.

Afterward, the two of you had decided to walk around the city and look at the displays in shops, since you had decided that your hard work warranted splurging a little as a reward of sorts. You had of course asked Mr. Zhongli to join you since he had such exquisite taste and an eye for the authentic, you valued his opinion greatly.

That’s how the two of you ended up at Xigu Antiques, browsing the display case. All of a sudden, your eyes zeroed in on a broach that resembles a little violetgrass plant, its downturned leaves made up of what you could only guess was noctilucous jade. It was, for lack of a better word, stunning.

“Mr. Zhongli,” you exclaimed, tugging at his sleeve to call his attention away from a porcelain teapot with gold little geo symbols as decoration, “what do you think of this one? It’s quite beautiful isn’t it?”

The dark-haired man looked at the broach you were pointing at before going tense, a small gasp escaping him as his beautiful amber eyes widened slightly. You looked at him in concern, you’d never seen the man come this close to losing his composure.

“Oh,” he said, clearing his throat, “is this the one you’re thinking of purchasing? I’d advise against it. Even by just a mere glance, I can tell it is not made of real noctilucous jade.”

Strangely, you felt as though he wasn’t being truthful with you.

“Well, that’s alright. I don’t really care about the authenticity and it’s pretty cheap. If it is a fake, I don’t really have much to lose. Plus, I’ve always loved violetgrass. This broach could be like a little homage to that!” You answered, letting out a little giggle.

“You’ve heard of the Vigilant Yaksha and the violetgrass maiden, am I correct?” He asked.

“Oh, yes I have! My Gran used to tell it to me and the rest of the village children back when I was young. It always made me so sad, how they can never be together. It was pretty silly now that I think about it, but I would bawl my eyes out every time. The rest of the kids would tease me a bit but I just couldn’t control it,” you reminisced.

“I- well, yes in any case, they say that anyone who possesses that broach will be cursed to meet the same fate,” Zhongli added, trying his best to dissuade you from buying the old broach, dread creeping into his stomach as he thought of what might happen to you- to the both of you.

“Of course you’d believe old supersticiones, Mr. Zhongli,” you said, letting out a lighthearted laugh that could make any heart, even one of stone, melt, “it’s very on brand! However, I’m sure there’s no need to be worried, after all, it’s nothing but an old myth! And even if it is real, you yourself said that it’s not made of the real stuff.”

Before Zhongli could figure a way to change the unchangeable, you had already purchased the broach. As you kept on leading the funeral consultant around the streets of Liyue Harbor, bag in hand, prattling on about anything and everything, he couldn’t help but feel his heart sink. A single thought, the same one you would later have, crossed his mind.

If only you hadn’t bought that goddamned broach.

In a fit of anger and desperation, you ripped the detested broach off of your shirt, throwing it at Xiao. You hoped it would somehow break into millions of tiny pieces.

After a beat of silence, Xiao spoke, “Eat.”

“No,” you yelled, before breaking down into a fit of angry sob, “I hate you!”

As soon as the words left your mouth, Xiao lurched forward so close your noses were almost touching, and for a second you think he’s gonna hit you but instead, he simply rests his forehead on yours and closes his eyes. When he pulls away, your sobs have waned into hiccups. Without saying so much as a word Xiao clasps the violetgrass broach onto your shirt, where it belongs.

“Eat,” is all he says, placing the now lukewarm soup into your hands.

Scared, tired, and sad, you do as he said, taking small sips of the admittedly tasty dish. He does nothing more than stare at her with those intense amber eyes of his for a few minutes before turning around and heading towards the door.

Before he leaves he turns his head back to look at her and says, “I don’t care if you don’t like me. Hate me for all I care. As long as you stay alive I don’t care.”

#Xiao x reader #xiao x you #xiao x y/n #genshin impact Xiao x reader #yan! Xiao x reader #genshin impact fanfic #genshin impact fanfiction #Xiao #genshin impact #tw: yandere #flavor: xiao #patt’s creations

[avada-kedavrugh]

How stupid you must be?

Pairing | Tom Riddle x Reader 

Genre | Angst (cheeky lil bit of making out)

Words | 2323

Warning | Making out, mentions of death, very unhealthy/abusive relationship that I do not endorse AT ALL but I just find it interesting to write. <3

How stupid you must be.

Tom’s hand slither around your neck, ever so delicately like a snake entangling its prey marvelling at each drop of fear it evoked, his fingers gracing the expanse of your skin like you were a porcelain doll, exquisite, dainty and so fragile in his touch. You are so small against him as he towers over you, your body quivering against the wall from the toxic mixture of anticipation, lust and fear that welled inside you, staring up at him with a look of complete adoration. The very touch of his cold fingers around your throat is so empowering, so overwhelming, so shattering as it destroys every barrier in your mind and subdues your entire being to his control. His dangerous gaze on you, searing through your mind, simultaneously imploring you to delve in closer with sweet nothings calling for you to give yourself to him, and screaming warning signs of ‘danger’. But it’s already too late for you as you’re faltering, falling, fading into his touch, unashamedly losing whatever part of you clung to sanity, replaced with the sheer desire, yearning, desperation for his lips to devour you, to take the final step of consuming you and leave you an empty shell.  

Within the eery silence of the dark closet, your own thoughts echo in your mind, as you silently plead with him. As if hearing your desperation, his hold on you tightens, teasing you with the searing touch of his fingers as his eyes look down on you with a cold, dangerous look. Your eyes flicker with infatuation and your cheeks flush a soft, pink hue, in a way that would be almost endearing, perhaps, if Tom was capable of love. If he was capable of love, he’d be ensnared in your affection and devotion, allow himself to shrink into your touch and be consumed by you, let your unceasing attempts of warmth to burn through him, act as the furnace that would cause his heart to shudder to life. Instead he found the way you looked at him repulsive, your looks of adoration received by a look of apathy, at best. Sometimes, he struggled to bury the contempt he felt towards you and he’d snap. He’d feel his eyes blazing with disgust, the dark look screaming ‘i hate you’ in what was both a shattering roar and a shivering whisper.  

Out of your lips slips a moan, your teeth quickly baring down on your soft lips in a feeble attempt to hide your sheer desire, bashful and ashamed of the effect he had on you. The sound echoes through the closet, burrowing itself into every crevice of the room, slipping into his ears and drilling into his mind, quickly registering as a sign of your weakness, of his absolute control over you. Although he will never love you, he relishes in the dominance he has over you, knowing this is only just the start of his strive for power. He felt no remorse, simply enjoying the incentive your weakness brought, grip tightening, his ring indenting itself into your skin and knuckles turning white whilst pressing against the silky expanse of your throat.

“Tom-” A guttural moan rumbled from your lips, desperation dripping from the very sound. His stony look flickering with amusement; with the knowledge you were defenceless against his hold, your mind falling into a dark abyss that matched your pupils – thick molasses, dilated, faltering at his every move. Secretly, he savours the sight, his lips curling into a sinister smirk as he watches you unfold against him, trapped between him and the wall, knowing that even if he let you go, you would stay there, hopelessly waiting for him to return your feelings. You allowed yourself to be a puppet, directed by his simple touch or a mutter of words, completely consumed by him. Lavishing in this knowledge, he set himself to tease you, make you ache with your utter lust, dipping his head down as he brought his lips dangerously close to your ears.

“Now, I’ve never seen someone so desperate,” The warmth of his breath tantalising against your skin, his words erupting from his voice in a sadistic purr. “How stupid you must be.”

How stupid you must be.  

The statement sounded in both of your minds. Tom’s lips twisting into an even crueller, ever so tantalising smile, while your heart was being thrashed and you felt your stomach momentarily dip.  

How stupid you must be. Completely subservient to the man who held you pinned against the wall, who belittled you and shamelessly looked at you with total contempt. The man was able to cause the pool of rich, luxurious heat sprouting in your lower stomach with just a single touch while at the same time, with just a simple statement, he had caused a churning pit in your stomach that made you wish the ground would just swallow you up right there, taking mercy on you and saving you from the agony he caused. You knew your heart belonged to him. 

Like many complicated things in life, it began innocently, coy glances at a cute boy during classes, feeling flustered around him, laughing as you told your friends about your attraction to him, becoming hopelessly drawn to the mystery that surrounded him. Tom. The tall, dark-haired, dark eyed Slytherin boy surrounded by his friends that all looked up at him with expectation. Who would you be to ignore your innocent, school crush? So, the chaste glances turned to watching him during classes, to trying to talk to him, despite his disinterest, to following him through the corridors. All in - as you told yourself several times - a desperate attempt to help him.  

Along the path of simple curiosity and attraction, you found yourself thinking of him more and more, every second of your day your mind would wander and lead you to him. At first it scared you, so you forced yourself to distance yourself from him. Without him you sank into a seat of sadness, staring into the dark gloomy depths of your drink, while your friends chattered around you, excitedly gossiping about whatever interested them. Wherever you were, sitting in the great hall with your friends or sitting alone in the library, that feeling of emptiness clung onto you. So, when your eyes glanced over him as he walked past, feeling your heart shudder to life, you gave yourself the little treat, let your eyes linger for a second longer, and then another second longer, then another second, and then another, and another, until every time you saw him you allowed your eyes to fix on him – his image imprinting onto your mind. Just seeing him filled you with a euphoric high and who would you be if you denied yourself the feeling? You convinced yourself it was fate, that your life was tied into a hangman’s knot with his. Curiously, one day, he returned the interest, tipping the earth of its axis and letting you fall into his arms. And that was the day, you allowed yourself to become his servant, become besotted him, allowed your obsession with him to begin to ravage you. And now, you knew he wasn’t human – not really - and knew he wasn’t capable of love, yet you’d sacrifice everything just for a simple kiss.

In retrospect, early on, you caught glimpses of something sinister lurking within him, his heartfelt words jumbled with a tone of hatred and his eyes occasionally flaring with something bordering loathing. Maybe, you stayed with him because you wanted to help him or, maybe, you stayed with him because of some sadistic voice that sung in your head that urged you to comprehend him, take him apart and reconstruct him secret by secret, just to know the very truth behind Tom Riddle and who he really was.

How very stupid you must be, your heart fluttering in your chest at his touch despite the obvious torment of his words, returning his sinister look with a look of full-blown lust, the darkness in your eyes caused by your pure desire while his was caused by something far more twisted. How very stupid you must be to allow yourself to slump against him, allowing his rigid body pressed against you to hold you up, his hands clutching your neck and keeping you afloat, the final restraint stopping you from falling into complete delirium.

“Tom, please-” You whined, a painful, raw, raggedy sound. Begging for the cushion of his lips. All of you hoped for the release of his animalist desires on you, for him to shed his cruel exterior, to reveal his raw being to you, bare his soul to you, allow you to squirm your way in, embrace him for who he was, love him, care for him. Caress every wound on his soul, kiss it better and make his heart feel something. For you. You stared at him hopefully, eyes twinkling with some innocence that you desperately clung to, slowing being chipped away every time you worked out what he’d done. His grip on you went slack, the colour returning to his knuckles, your lungs unexpectedly filling with oxygen you didn’t even know you needed as you breathed him in.  

Your eyes dancing with dreams, the dreams you replayed in your mind when the sky got dark, when your dormitory grew still, while your mind was too loud, your dreams embraced you like the warm arms of a mother, coddling you, soothing you into a calm slumber, a lullaby of dreams that would never happen, the dreams of Tom Riddle. Tom’s eyes lacked such excitement, instead they stilled with a vacant expression - one you found rather serene – as he took in the sight of you. Your heart unashamedly raced, desperate for you to reach out and press your lips against his. Risk your life just for the caress of his lips against yours.

His body pulling away from you, letting you to fall back against the wall. His smirk souring into a look of disgust, eyes full-blown with revulsion and contempt, looking down on you as if you were the most disgusting beetle on earth, as if all you deserved was to be stamped on. He moved forward again, this time his lips grazing your ears as he whispers “I don’t need you anymore Y/N.”

Your heart continues its shameless rampage within your chest, thundering against its weak confines, threatening to breakout and escape into Tom’s hands - where it knew it belonged. How very stupid you must be. It was too late for you now, you knew what his words meant, knew the threat they held within them, yet as his hot breath moved away from you, your hands desperately moved to grab onto him, your fingers hopelessly dragging against the material of his shirt, failing to cling onto anything, clawing at the air between you.

He was looking over your small form, taking in each detail of you for one final time; you were his obedient servant that he could manipulate to do his will. You, such a meek being, that seemingly devoted your life to his. Had become entangled, enchanted, encapsulated with him, by him, completely submitting yourself to him all for the human feeling of love. He knew you would do anything for him yet he knew that human feeling inside you, that clung to its innocence, unmoving from its claims of compassion, was stronger than your fragile feelings for him, one wrong move and it could easily overcome your devotion for him and leave him at risk. Something jolted in his heart. And then he did it.

Lips barrelling towards yours. Smashing against your soft lips. Teeth clashing. Like two starved animals that hadn’t eaten in days, absolutely ravenous from hunger, finally given a measly morsel between you. One of his hands wound itself around your neck again, all delicacy thrown aside as he roughly held you up by your throat. His nails attaching themselves to your skin, ripping into your skin so violently, leaving behind imprints at his very touch. Slamming your body against the wall and pressing his form, so crazed in its frenzy yet so rigid, against you. You took your chance to savour him, memorising the feeling of lips against you, the feel of fingers wrapped around your neck. Your mouth opening, tongue pressing against his mouth, desperate to taste him. The concoction of unrequited love and lust had left you famished, and now your body drowned in the touch of Tom Riddle. He was blessing you with what you had always wanted. Quenching the aching feeling that had laid dormant inside your lower stomach for months, incited only by him and growing more dangerous as he disregarded your desires. Yet, niggling in your mind was the emptiness of every touch, every taste, every movement. His sexual ferocity felt more like a primitive instinct than a conscious desire.  

How stupid you must be.

He was going to kill you.

He had used you and tossed you aside like a doll. And every step of the way, you lapped it up like a desperate puppy, hanging at the edge of his every word, the promise of his touch having the power to control you. Inside your heart swelled, as his lips thrashed against yours in their rampage, ever so desperate, like prey entangled within a snake. The warmth pooling through your entire body, drowning the remnants of sanity, and sending you into delirium. How stupid you must be. He was going to kill you and yet, he was kissing you. For the first time, your final wish and he was kissing you, for the last time. Buried under his ravenous lips an uncontrollable grin broke out from your own, torn and bleeding. A grin that pressed against his lips. A grin that mirrored the euphoria that filled your soul.

Maybe he did love you.

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[sophialikesthings]

Song-No Body,No Crime-Taylor Swift

Numb. the deprivation of feelings or emotions.

That's what I was standing in that field moments after I witnessed what happened.

"Come on, We should go." JJ rubbed my back.

"We don't have a car, dumbass." Kiara insulted him.

"We can hide out in the hanger." Pope pointed

We carefully scanned the room making sure nobody else was there.

I just went to a corner and curled myself up into a ball and sat there, questioning my sanity for still loving him.

"There goes the gold!" JJ looked up at the plane that just took off.

"Fuck!" Pope yelled, throwing something he found at the wall. He grabbed anything he could carry and threw it all, things were thrown all over, shattered glass carpeting the floor.

"I need to go see him." I got up.

"What? Demi are you insane?" JJ asked.

"I am because I still love him and I don't know how to stop." I broke down again.

"I'm scared that if I leave him, That will happen to me."

===

"Demi, I don't think it's a good time right now." Rose opened the door.

"Rose, I know what happened, and you and I both know he needs me right now. So please, let me see him."

"He is in the den." She let me inside.

"What are you doing here?" Ward asked as he vigorously washed his hands trying to get her blood off of them.

"I came to see Rafe, I- I know what happened Mr.Cameron, and I promise I won't tell a soul." I put on my fake face.

"So can I see him?"

"Yes, he is in the den." He pointed at the door.

I carefully opened the door and saw a distressed Rafe contemplating on the couch.

"D-Demi." he got up.

"I saw what happened, I wanted to say goodbye to Sarah and when I got there you shot her."

"I was protecting my father, I was protecting our future!" He paced.

"Calm down!" I pulled his arm towards me. "Rafe...you have done some of the most horrendous things to me and somehow I always go back to you, I don't know why? But I do."

"Don't say that. I do what I think will protect you." He hugged me.

"Mind if I come in?" Ward asked.

"I'll go." I was about to get up.

"No, no Demi stay," Rafe asked. "Is she alive?"

Ward shook his head causing Rafe to sink into me.

"What did you tell the cops? Are they coming here?"

"I told them John B did it." Ward walked over to his desk.

"Demi, I need you to take him up to his room, get him all cleaned up." He told me " take a shower change your clothes. If anybody asked you were working all day, doin' maintenance on the druthers."

"No, Rose knows I wasn't here."

"I will talk to Rose, okay?"

"Come on." I got up and took Rafes' hand.

===

"I was protecting him." Rafe continued to tell me.

"I know, can you take your shirt off, please you need to shower." I turned the water on.

"Will you join me?" He asked.

"Rafe."

"Please, I just don't want to be left alone, because If I am, I'm scared I might do something."

"Fine."

===

"I'm gonna go check in on Wheezie, I'll be back in a minute." I got up

"Hey, wheeze."

"Hey, did you come to ignore me too?" She asked looking up from her phone

"No, but I did come to hang out with you." I got a text.

JJ

I am sorry for nagging you about staying

with Rafe, I understand you are just trying to

keep your loved ones safe

Demi

Yeah, I was trying to keep you safe.

"Who are you texting?" Wheezie asked piercing over my shoulder.

"Huh? Oh, just Topper."

"Well, I'm tired, you can stay if you'd like, or you can go bang my brother." She nonchalantly said lying down.

"Whoa! What?" She caught me off guard.

"You know what I mean, you and my brother bang, like constantly."

"You know wheeze, sometimes I wish we didn't." I lied down next to her. "I mean, I feel like it adds unneeded pressure to our relationship."

"For what it's worth, you have really nice glute muscles." She made me laugh.

"I love you wheeze." I tossed my arm over her, hugging her.

"I love you too, you are like another cool sibling."

We both drifted to sleep.

===

"Do you hear that?" I got woken up by Wheezie.

"Huh?"

I heard Rafe in the other room muttering to himself. I got up and went to check on him, Wheezie behind me.

"Hey, What are you doin'?" I walked over to him, placing a kiss on his bicep where my face stood due to our height difference of almost afoot.

"Tossin' this crap." He threw a bunched-up pile of shirts into a worn-out backpack.

"Isn't this where John B was staying?" I questioned

"Yeah, well, I don't think he's gonna be by anytime soon to pick it up, so--"

"Why?" Wheezie interrogated.

"Did you say why?" He looked at her, confused.

"Didn't Dad tell you?"

"He doesn't tell me anything, so." She sighed, propping her head up on her hands.

"Um... so, John B... Killed Sheriff Peterkin." He acted sad.

"What?"

"Yeah." He tried to get her to believe him.

"Are you smiling right now? I'm not joking. Like, this isn't a game. I don't--"

Wheezie looked away as if she was bored of the story Rafe was telling her.

He slapped the bedpost almost hitting her face, causing both of us to wince out of fear.

"Hey, calm down." I pulled him back slightly.

"I don't know why you're smiling, okay? Look at me. I saw it with my own two eyes." He lied.

It hurt me, to know that I would have to lie to Wheezie. It made me sick just how easy Rafe could lie to anyone, doubts now filling my mind with everything he's ever said to me.

"He shot her, and then you know what he did?"

I snapped back into the conversation.

"He tried to shoot dad, but you know what? I stepped in and I stopped him, I saved Dad."

"Why would John B want to kill dad?" She questioned his story.

"Because um... he thinks dad killed his father."

My eyes widened as if Rafe heard the conversation I had with John B.

"Rafe, do you want to come over to my house, Taylor, Kelce, and Top will be there?" I tried to stop the conversation.

"I can't right now, I have to help my dad with the police reports." He kissed me, walking out of the room.

"Okay, well I'm headed home Wheeze, give me a call if you need me." I hugged her goodbye.

===

That Night

===

"I hate it. I'm in a toxic cycle I can't break free from." I groaned, dumping all my life issues on Taylor as usual.

"Welcome to being a Kook, Your parents stick you into toxic relationships, ask you to make babies, then dump your ass at a mansion and the cycle repeats." She took a swig of rum.

"Taylor, I love-" I got interrupted by the boys running past my room. I heard the laundry room door shut and Topper and Kelce forcefully holding it closed.

"What's going on? Who's in there?" I walked out into the hallway.

"Please just--just let me out." I heard John B.

"Are you two insane! Let him out!" I demanded, trying to get past them.

"Word on the street bro, you are worth 25k, dead or alive." Kelce shouted.

"Kelce, stop." Taylor asked, pulling him back so I could go up to the door, next to Topper.

"I'm gonna go get the cops, don't let him out." Taylor and Kelce walked away.

"John B, It's Topper." He started.

"Hey Top, It's John B." I could hear him panic.

"You gonna try to talk your way out?" Topper chuckled.

"Let him go, He's innocent." I tried to push him out of my way.

"Just cut the bull shit. Alright?" He ignored me.

"I didn't shoot the Sheriff, All right? Rafe did. Sarah was there. She saw the whole thing, Demi saw it too."

"Oh! It was Rafe! My bad." He rolled his eyes.

"Look Man, I know you don't believe me and honestly, I probably wouldn't believe myself either, but... I-- I get it, you hate me because of Sarah." He tried to talk to him.

"You knew we were boyfriend and girlfriend, right?"

I could hear the sirens in the distance as the tension built up.

"Let him go! Please." I started crying.

"And, um, I -- I got another question." he leaned against the door that was being held shut by a chair. "Did you fuck her."

"Topper!" I hit the back of his head, my strength not enough to make him flinch.

"Yes or no John B."

"Ok-- Uh yes." He said. "We did it...once. Okay? But don't use the f-word. That's kind of gross." He spoke trying to get Topper to understand him.

Suddenly we heard the police sirens from outside.

"Alright John B! It's Sheriff Thornton out here. We got you surrounded. We don't need anymore blood shed." My dad yelled into his megaphone

"Topper, Topper please, I am begging you to let him go." At this point I was hysterical, my eyes burnt from the many tears streaming down my face.

The sound of heavy footsteps got closer as they ran up the porch stairs.

"We're back here dad!" Topper yelled.

"Please!" I whispered.

"No mercy Dad." He took me outside with him.

"Damn it!" He slipped through the vents!" I heard my dad yell, easing my worry.

"Do not put your hands on me!" I screamed as Topper held me in front of him, pushing me outside.

"Demi! He is dangerous! I am protecting you, you are my little sister and I don't want you to get hurt."

"The only thing I need protecting from is this family! You make them out to be the villains when really it's you, and everybody else on this side of the island.

As everyone was spreading out searching for him Sarah rode up to me on her bike.

"I'm having everyone meet at the church. Be there in an hour, I think the others have a plan." She quietly whispered.

===

The Church Bell went off 3 times before I ran in there.

"What are you doing!" I stopped him.

"Demi, Sarah, I warned you about these pogues!" Topper held his hands up in defence.

"He's innocent." Sarah sobbed.

"Then who did it?" Topper asked.

"Rafe! Rafe shot Sheriff Peterkin, I saw him." I finally spoke up. I could feel my eyes starting to water again.

"What are you talking about?" he didn't believe me

"Sarah, we gotta go!" John B noticed all the police starting to gather outside.

"Sarah, You realize I'm the one that loves you." Topper Repeated, telling Sarah this many times before.

"I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry," She apologized "But this isn't about you."

"Hey we've gotta go." John B broke up their conversation.

"You go, I'll take care of him." I took my helpless blubbering brother into my arms

"Let me make it up to you." Topper laid out his plan, Sarah and I swapped clothes. Quickly,

"Y'all smell smoke?" I asked.

"Holy shit, go." Sarah looked down the ladder to see the bright light from the fire.

Topper and I headed out of the church with our hands in the air acting as if we were John B and Sarah.

"GET DOWN." The cops were yelling at us.

"Hol-Hold shoot, those are my kids." My dad commanded the others to put the guns down.

"Demitria and Topper, What the hell were you two thinking!?" He snarled.

"I- I don't know what happened dad, I'm sorry for causing trouble." Topper apologized "They went that way." I pointed in the opposite direction.

"Are you alright? Do you need a medic?" Topper asked me.

"I'm ok, I just burned my calf, that's all." I hissed as the wind blew causing my leg to sting.

"Demi! Dem, I- I didn't mean for this to happen!" Rafe ran over to me.

"Of course you did this!" I started limping away.

"Demi, I never meant to hurt you."

"How's that turning out?"

=== Ahhhhh late post but... The final chapter of part one is tomorrow and I am actually almost done with part two!

Feedback is appreciated!

Messages are always open!

Thankful for you all

also I need someone to help me pick an ending... so If you want to help me out just message me 😊

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