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ojcobsessed · 3 months

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Few actors have endured as fraught a journey as Oliver Jackson-Cohen. Few actors are more in demand than the star of The Haunting of Hill House and Jackdaw

by Maeve Ryan

OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN HAS been doing this a while. He decided to act at the age of six. Joined a theatre troupe and began to climb. He continued until university but didn’t get into any drama schools. Throughout our conversation, he tells me there were no signs pointing him in this direction, no surefire chance at success. But he’s found it, and then some.

He rose to prominence with his highly acclaimed portrayal of Luke Crain in Mike Flanagan’s The Haunting of Hill House.

A character that battled a heroin addiction to cope with past traumas, though addiction was the least interesting thing about him. The show featured stars of the past, and launched new ones into the present, Oliver Jackson-Cohen being one of them. The role of Luke changed the course of his life – for more reasons than one.

It was the first time in his life he no longer had to hide, he tells me. “I could be as fragile as I felt.” He took his newfound Netflix fame and began to carve a path that finally aligned with who he was, not who the world wanted him to be.

Now, he takes centre stage in Jamie Dobb’s new film Jackdaw. When he read the script, he thought he was the last man for the job. When Dobb explained the hyper masculine lead needed someone to bring softness behind it, he signed on.

Jackson-Cohen’s career, and presence, proves that the strength of a man lies in his ability to go beyond society’s standards. He breaks the stereotypes like bread over a long conversation in Soho. We discuss his entrance into the industry, facing traumas, and finding a safe place to land.

sm: What was the first movie you ever saw that made you want to act?

o-jc: Home Alone. I remember seeing that film and saying, oh whoa, so a kid can do this? I remember telling my dad, ‘I think I want to do that.’ I was six or seven.

But it gets dark. So, my mum and dad’s house had a bay window that was on the street. And when I came home from school for a week, I just sat in the window thinking, any minute now, someone from Home Alone is going to walk past, and go, there’s a kid! Let’s get him! I was willingly wanting to get kidnapped. Which is so fucked. My dad came home and was like, ‘What are you doing?’ And then he was like, ‘Yeah, that’s not how that works.’

We found a theatre program – I started going there when I was eight. I was never the golden kid. In the drama clubs, I was always like the snake in the background. Or just the scenery. We used to put on terrible plays. I was such an insular kid. I found a safe place to feel where it’s real, but it’s not. So you can experience it all. I did that for three years, and then I was kicked out.

sm: What! Why?

oj-c: I had an attitude or something like that. I got suspended so many times. I genuinely was not looking for trouble. I was always the one to get caught. Like, I was the kid who someone handed the knife to, and I’d be standing above the dead body, and then the next thing I knew it was 20 years in prison. It was always stuff like that. But it was time to move on anyway.

I found this drama school at Riverside Studios. It was a small group, maybe eight or nine people. It was so interesting, because I’m going to do a gross name drop, but in the group was Carey Mulligan and Imogen Poots. It was incredible.

sm: Those were the kids that were just there? Did you have to audition?

oj-c: No, but I did a trial. It was a lot of devised stuff, like improv. A guy named Andrew Bradford ran it. He really supported kids. It was all day Saturday. We were all teenagers. It felt like another life. It grew and grew and by the time I left I was 17 or 18. It wasn’t one of those places that you were beaten down. No fake bullshit. It was a safe place to try stuff. We’d put on plays and we all got agents from that as kids.

sm: Is that the moment you look back on and think of as the beginning?

oj-c: I think so. But it was such a long period of time. Career wise, it was quite stagnant. I did one job when I was 15 that was some late night soap. Then I didn’t do anything until I was 18. I wasn’t like this is real until later. It started to snowball when I finished school. I went to get a French lit degree, hated it, dropped out, and applied to drama school. I didn’t get in anywhere.

In the meantime, there was a job at the BBC for a silly period drama. I did that, took the money, and went to do a foundation in New York at Strasberg.

sm: Tell me about the audition for drama school. You didn’t get in anywhere?

oj-c: Yes. I’m telling you there were no signs that pointed to me saying, yeah, you’re quite good at this. It felt like everyone was saying, ‘don’t do it.’ Which is a really interesting place to start from. If no one around me believes in me, how do I? And I just keep going? It was a mix of delusion and stupidity.

sm: Did you think about doing something else?

oj-c: When I was still in high school, I worked as a runner on productions, mainly at the BBC. I was revolving through that so when I finished school, that was kinda my job.. I got to see the inner workings of how sets worked, rehearsal periods. I got to see the writers and the actors, how they would construct a joke, and adjust things.

When I was 17, I started doing the European Music Awards. I would go and work in the costume department, I didn’t fucking know anything about how to sew on a bun but it was amazing. I got such a solid understanding of how a production office works, how a schedule works.

Tragically, you see a lot of how an actor is a small cog in this machine. Everyone is working so diligently. This whole idea of superiority that can go on, it was important for me to witness early on. Because when you go onto set and someone says five minutes, it actually means five minutes. But it was also hard because I was watching people do what I love. I didn’t get into school, so I said fuck it, I’m gonna do a foundation for a year and reapply to drama school from New York.

sm: Why choose the Strasberg program?

oj-c: Someone told me about it. I thought I needed to go do something that gives me a playground, a space in the meantime. But when I got there, I was with this small agency, and they started sending me out on auditions. The first or second one I went on, they flew me to LA to do a screen test and I got it. This was six weeks into the program. I was like: what do I do?

sm: What did you decide?

oj-c: There were three or four movies I got, but then the financial crash happened and it all fell apart. So I went back to New York to continue with the program. But meanwhile, I had been signed to WME and my agents were like, let’s go down the studio route because that’s going to be fun. I got an audition for this Drew Barrymore movie, got that, and then I dropped out. Then got another job that moved me to LA. I was there for a year shooting and doing the prep for that.

The whole idea was that I’d do that and reapply to drama school. Then I kept on booking. It’s only in the past couple years I was like, thank fuck I didn’t stop. There were moments that I thought I needed to stop and do three years of training.

sm: Did you feel like you were missing something that other people had?

oj-c: I felt like I was back-footed. Like I had no idea what I was doing, then I realised no one does. There is no arrival point where you’re like, ‘I know how to act!’ A lot of it was becoming comfortable with learning and making mistakes. Some will hurt and some don’t matter.

sm: So you start booking jobs, and then it just keeps going? No break?

oj-c: There’s obviously periods where you’re out of work. Or you really want a job and you do 50 auditions for it and you don’t get it. A lot of that went on. But I was 22. I ended up staying in New York until I was 28. I felt like a deer in the headlights. I was just so grateful that I was working and that people wanted to hire me that I never stopped to ask if it was actually fulfilling.

I listened to a lot of people early on. I needed guidance. I needed someone to say, do this job, this will lead to this, or it’s important you work with this person. Then I woke up one day and was like, is there anything here that I’m actually proud of?

That comes with experience and maybe a little bit of delusional confidence where you go, I think I want to try and do something here that is more aligned with me. It was a weird time to be in LA. I’m six foot three. I look a certain way. People wanted the product. I thought that was how I’d get there. I’ll pretend to be confident, I’ll be a version of what these people want. Keep my mouth shut and pretend. I reached a point where I was like, I cannot keep going this way.

sm: Did you feel that you’d abandoned yourself? Or was it a slow realisation?

oj-c: It became harder and harder to pretend to be this chill guy. I’m not chill. But when you’re handed something, you go, this is fun. Then the more you read and become accustomed to the environment you’re in, you start to feel entitled to have an opinion. To feel entitled enough to say: I actually don’t like this, I actually find this quite soul destroying. Having to make myself small, or block myself off and not be as vulnerable as I feel. To not show that.

It was an interesting time – in the late 2000s, men were men and what I was being asked to do was be an idea of what a tall, white, masculine man was that sort of never really sat. I actually feel really fragile. So I took a break for six months. I was like, I’m just going to say no now and try to re-shape the direction of what I want to do. Then The Haunting of Hill House came along.

sm: How did that audition happen?

oj-c: I’d done a film with the producer before. They sent me a conversation that happens in the show between Luke and his twin sister, it was him asking her to get him drugs. They asked me to read that and literally the following day, they called me and were like yep, you.

means something to people. It was an amazing thing to be a part of.

sm: Did you immediately recognise that Luke was the kind of character you were looking to play on the page?

oj-c: Sort of. If I’m honest, I did quite a lot with the role. Mike was very open to collaborating. I put a lot of stuff in there that wasn’t necessarily there originally.

All of the siblings were there but they were sort of blank canvases for anyone to put whatever they needed to put in it. We all came in and made bigger choices to create this family dynamic. They brought on this incredible writer, Scott Kosar, who wrote The Machinist, to tackle the Luke character because he was in recovery at the time.

sm: The writer was in recovery?

oj-c: Yes. He tackled all those monologues about staying clean and everything. That was him. You know, you’re talking about a family that lived in a haunted house, that’s sort of a silly premise but all the substitutions that everyone did, it was all about trauma. Living and being followed by things unless you face them.

sm: What did you bring to the Luke character that wouldn’t have been there if somebody else played it?

oj-c: Someone else would have brought something amazing to it. But Mike Flanagan had so many tapes come through of people playing the addiction, and you can’t play the addiction. When I first looked at Luke I was like, okay, he’s a heroin addict, but then I was like, actually, to put a label on that, to label him, does such a disservice.

So it became about what he was running from, and what was terrorising him. For me, it became about childhood sexual abuse. How do you escape this thing you don’t want to feel? And if you can’t keep it at bay, it will take over. It became about that struggle, not ‘I need my fix.’ It became about this terrorising thing that’s always present, which translates into the show. We all have things that follow us. It became about trying to humanise it and make it real by using that as a way in.

sm: You’ve been open on social media about the sexual abuse you faced as a child. How did you navigate acting something so close to home?

oj-c: I’m of the school of thought: use whatever is real for you. That’s why I do the job. A lot of us use our own personal experience, but we bring it to a safe space where it’s okay for us to experience it. In a way it calls for that, and it felt important to do for the show.

I come back to this idea of needing to stop and reassess what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to say in the work that I do. I felt like I couldn’t keep hiding. We’re all complicated, we’ve all had complicated upbringings. That’s just part of life. It’s unfortunate, but it’s sort of always going to be a mess. I needed to put everything that I felt into something. I do that all the time.

We use the parts of yourselves. Including the darker parts, and some of the stuff we don’t want to look at. I’ve never been one of those people to go half on something. You either do it or you don’t. There’s no middle ground. I’m not going to half step in, or pretend.

sm: Did you have any practices while filming to help you not carry the hurt from that world into your own?

oj-c: What was interesting was that all of that sadness was in there anyway. I wasn’t generating any of it, I was just opening it up. I didn’t whip myself up into a frenzy. It just felt like I didn’t have to hide, or pretend it wasn’t there.

sm: Would you say acting has been healing for you?

oj-c: I don’t think the word healing is correct. But it’s been incredibly helpful in helping me understand myself better. It’s probably not the healthiest but I’ve said this before, I feel like I need the job to lay out all my neuroses and vulnerability. I keep myself so closed off in real life. It’s an outlet that feels necessary. That’s why I go off to work every couple days.

sm: You are cast in a lot of thrillers and horrors. Why do you think you mesh well with that genre as an actor?

oj-c: You know, after I did Haunting of Hill House, it was sort of this big thing where the amount of horror scripts that came through was crazy. The amount of, ‘do you want to play a drug addict?’ It’s incredible how desperate people are to put us into boxes.

After Hill House, I did The Invisible Man. That was a horror but the messaging - we’re talking about gaslighting, we’re talking about toxic relationships to an extreme. It was so much more than a scary film. It felt like it had something to say. That’s the thing about horror. When it’s done well, it’s incredibly impactful.

sm: After Hill House, did you feel you had agency when choosing your roles?

oj-c: To a certain extent. But no matter where you’re at: the job you want, they don’t want you. You can be Julianne Moore, but they’d rather have someone else. It’s constant. But it did change quite a lot. In terms of becoming Netflix famous, which is the strangest, most intense thing ever because you’re the most famous person on the planet and then something else comes out. I felt like I was in a fortunate space where I could choose more, but there were films that I really wanted that I didn’t get.

sm: I heard that when you first read the Jackdaw script, you didn’t think you were right for the role?

oj-c: Yes. I called the director Jamie Childs and told him he was nuts. Because again, here’s this hyper masculine man that felt quite robotic on the page. I met Jamie on the set of Wilderness. He was telling me, ‘I’ve written this movie. I’d love to get your feedback on it.’ So I read it. It was still an early draft. Then he said, ‘Do you want to do it?’ I genuinely thought I wasn’t the right fit. I thought it was just out of convenience that he wanted me.

He said to me, ‘It needs someone to come in and make it human. To give it vulnerability.’ He said the film is about how this man readjusts his life following the death of his mum, and I was like, sold! You need some tears? I’ll bring you tears! I’m never leaving my sad boy era. It happened so quickly. We wrapped Wilderness, and then started filming three and a half weeks later. We were up north in January.

sm: You go swimming in the North Sea quite a bit in the film…

oj-c: Oh yeah. It got to like minus nine. It ended with me getting hypothermia. I think I’m a bit too delicate, that’s why. I had this amazing stunt guy called Jamie Dobbs who’s this gold motor-cross champion, and we had to shoot all this stuff of us in the night. They’d get me on a rig, and then they’d get Jamie and it got to minus 12. He got frostbite on his face. It was unbelievable. It was all night shoots. I am so surprised we all made it out alive.

sm: Had you ever cold plunged before?

oj-c: Not at all. I’m one of those people in August that’s like, I don’t know if I want to go in the sea, it looks a bit cold. We did three days on the water. Some of it was in a kayak. The underwater stuff, that’s where it got brutal. We were all eating every 25 minutes because we were so cold. There was a boat just for food. I couldn’t name one thing we ate. It was just fuel. We were going to work at 5pm, and then wrapping in the morning.

sm: Do you often try new things on film sets that you’d never do otherwise?

oj-c: Yes, all the time! That’s part of the allure of it. You get to learn all these weird things that you’d never do. You get to experience these amazing things. I’ve been doing this for so long, because I’m 150 years old, and someone will bring something up and I’ll be like, oh I’ve done that! But then I’m like wait no I didn’t, the character did.

sm: Was there anything else you learned on the set of Jackdaw? Motorcross?

oj-c: Yes! I fucking loved it. If I’m honest, a lot of it is me jumping on and starting up and then getting out of frame. Insurance-wise, I couldn’t do any of the jumps or anything. But it is so great. There is nothing quite like it.

sm: Do you ever think you’ll get into the writing side of film?

oj-c: I have. I just don’t know what I have to say yet. Everyone reaches a point where they think, I don’t want to forever be a product. It would be nice to be part of the creative. I have a lot of opinions.

You go into a job with the best intentions. This is what they’ve told us, this is what’s been sold and then you’ll see the final product and be like: that’s not at all what I thought it would be. The more you do it, the more you feel like you know what you actually like and what you want to be part of. I’ll get to it at some point.

Jackdaw is in cinemas now.

#oliver jackson-cohen #oliver jackson cohen #jackdaw #jackdaw film #jamie childs #2024 #interview #cw: csa #mike flanagan #haunting of hill house #luke crain #jack dawson #i have that home alone anecdote memorised by now 😭#he writes!

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goodwhump-temp · 6 months

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Ryan Gosling Whump - Multiple Movies

The Nice Guys - Holland March

06:00 - Hungover 07:00 - Shaving cut 09:50 - Dumb asf, glass cut, profusely bleeding, weak, ambulance, weak, high (drogas) 12:30 - Punched, bloody nose, thrown, kicked, knocked down, left radius fractured, aiaiai scream, arm casted 22:00 - Upset 25:25 - Jumpscare 37:00 - Can't smell 41:50 - Drunk, falls off balcony, rolls down hill, pain, freaks out, nausea 51:00 - Car crash 58:50 - Drinking in misery, passes out 1:05:00 - Berated ((1:06:35) adorable interaction) 1:11:25 - Shaking (scared), screams 1:20:00 - Hallucinating, car crash, screaming 1:24:30 - Shot at, screams (???), freaks out (mishandled gun) 1:35:00 - Held at gunpoint, misinterprets life & dream, 1:39:40 - "Drunk", "crying", falls from roof, hallucinating, freaks out x2, shot at, chased, falls from different roof, hit by car, emotionally happy, limping 1:50:30 - Freaks out (bee)

The Grey Man - Sierra Six

01:00 - Prison 09:10 - Punched multiple times, hit with bar x2, manhandled 26:30 - Betrayed, punched, headbutted, plane torn in half, falling 40:20 - Badass 44:20 - Scars, abusive father 47:00 - Betrayed, falls down well, coughing, bloody mouth, limp 53:30 - Pepper-sprayed, annoyed, jumps out window, limp, held at gunpoint, betrayed-ish, handcuffed, tranquilized 58:00 - Drowsy 1:06:30 - Shot at, knocked back from explosion, held at gunpoint 1:09:40 - Chased by two different groups, hit by car, pain, restrained x2, shot at, caught in the middle of firefight, cornered on train, manhandled, elbowed, jumps off derailing train 1:19:50 - Fake injury 1:20:40 - Hand stabbed, body slammed, pain (obvio), headbutted, punched, kicked into glass, decked, punched, stabbed w/ scissors, wacked with defibrilator x2, shot at, bleeding out 1:25:00 - Bleeding out, bandaging, talks about childhood 1:38:00 - Headbutted, shot at 1:43:00 - Boss fight, punched x6, sliced x6, stabbed x3, drowning x2 (irl/flashback), shot, bleeding out, tired, medevac

Drive - Ryan Gosling

03:00 - Looks tired 15:20 - Car crash stunt 35:00++ - Heartbroken 41:00 - Annoyed 51:30 - Nervous, shot at 59:00 - Annoyed 1:01:00 - Ambushed/betrayed, shot at 1:03:00 - Stitches, angry/sad? 1:05:00 - Angry 1:10:05 - Slapped 1:12:00 - Angry outburst, emotional, betrayed, angry 1:22:00 - Crying 1:26:00 - Car crash 1:29:00 - Sad/scared 1:32:00 - Stabbed, bleeding profusely

Stay - Henry Letham

The whole movie - Suicidal/depressed 1:21:00 - Head bleeding 1:23:00 - Emotional confrontation 1:25:00 - Saddest shit you'll ever see in your entire life

Crazy Stupid Love - Jacob Palmer

1:29:00 - Freaking out, punched, manhandled-ish, tackled by 4 guys

Barbie - Ken (I don't want to watch the movie)

somewhere near the beginning - heartbroken somewhere near the middle - heartbroken somewhere near the end - Sobbing, suicidal

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jacobsbigmelons · 1 year

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accidents happen

Jacob Custos x male reader

Fluff, Soft Jacob time, Kaitlyn being a girlboss, whatever other tags that would go into fluff or something.

blood, slight descriptions of injury.

The sun began to set as your group of kids were eager to see the moon with your telescope, you wanted them to do their best at drawing the moon when they saw how it looked like in person. After all everything looks better when you get to see it in person.

You handed out some papers with a big circle in the middle which is where they would draw the details of the moon, although one of the kids seemed to not hold on to one of the papers good enough because as you sat down you saw the paper dancing in the very slight breeze that came by as it got trapped under the table you were sitting at. You put your finger in the air as a way to let the kid know to wait, you ducked underneath the top part of the table as you went to reach for the paper. The lack of sunlight wasn’t helping but your eyesight should be just fine.

As you tried to reach for their paper you felt something sharp claw against your bare forearm, you quickly pulled away as you changed positions so your other arm can avoid whatever it was that nicked you. You finally got ahold of the gravel tainted piece of paper and gave it back to the kid, luckily the groups lanterns weren’t bright enough to expose what accident you had going on.

You sat back down. back to the group as you inspected the probable scrape or whatever, but when you went to touch your arm, you felt a liquid as your body practically froze. You tried to find the walkie-talkie you stuffed in your bag, luckily that was an easy find at least. You got up and stepped away from the group as you were trying to keep your cool in order not to freak out a whole group of elementary kids.

“Kaitlyn, where are you? come in.” you released your blood stained fingers off the button as you suspended the other arm in the air, the walkie-talkie made only static before her familiar voice rang through. “I’m with Ryan by the fire why?” her voice questioning with slight concern “get southbound, I- I think I hurt myself like…really really bad. And keeping my composure in front of ten to fifteenish kids is getting pretty hard with a hurt arm.” you kept it a bit vague in case the other councilors were with kids themselves.

After you stated your condition, other councilors began to chime in to your channel as they were also worried. “Woah woah are you okay?” Abi spoke “need someone to watch over your group?” Nick offered “ohmygoshyespleaseyesyes” you spoke very quickly as you heard fast moving footsteps from behind you, as you turned you saw Kaitlyn practically running from up the small hill before she eventually made her way to you as you maneuvered your way past the group while hiding your arm.

“Dude…how the hell did you do this?” Kaitlyn spoke quietly with a worried tone, you only had a concerned look on your face as you shrugged. She applied a tourniquet as she wrapped it up in cloth. During this Nick came by as Kaitlyn was about to take you back to the main camp. “Nick…just…guide the telescope to the moon. It isn’t hard, you got this.” Nick gave two thumbs up as you and Kaitlyn got back to the main camp as quickly as you could, she was trying to help you apply pressure while also getting back asap.

Ryan’s group of kids was at the fire as he was probably narrating more of his scary stories, Kaitlyns light illuminating you two behind him as you guys entered. You found Dylan and Jacob who were just communing with some of the other kids, of course walkie talkies nowhere in sight so they have no clue what’s happening. Though as they saw how scared the two of you looked they immediately went to express a lot more concern.

“uh are you guys okay?” Dylan said as he got up from his spot and walked to you, “Yo dude, what happened with your arm?” Jacob said as he pointed to it like he needed to or else he wouldn’t even believe what he was seeing. “Nicked myself on some sharp thing while I was helping a kid” you said while shrugging again, “okay okay that’s enough talking, we kinda have a patient in need here” Kaitlyn said as she shoved past the two boys and went into the clinic.

You sat down on the supposed to be bed area as Kaitlyn grabbed your hand and pushed it down on the wound to let you know to keep pressure. “Don’t let go of that wound, let me get shit to clean that up.” She said while scavenging around the cabinets, she eventually found some gauze and bandages. “Okay let’s- let’s clean the wound before I patch you up” the door opened with the two boys again, your arm now in some good lighting showed just how bloodied it had gotten, even with a cloth it still rarely dripped just a bit.

“Oh perfect, Jacob in here, Dylan make sure those kids don’t get nosy and try to peek in or whatever” Kaitlyn demanded as Jacob entered the clinic and Dylan went back to talking with the kids who they were talking with before. “Jacob we’re gonna clean his wound but it’s gonna sting and if this wound was as big as I think it is, you’re gonna have to hold him still because he will most definitely want to get away from this” Kaitlyn said as if you weren’t conscious to the ongoing problems at hand “i’m right here…what y-you think I can’t handle a bit of disinfectant?” you giggled as she rolled her eyes.

You two got up to go to a nearby sink as cool water began to run while Kaitlyn carefully removed the cloth, the tourniquet doing its job valiantly. She exposed the bottle of hydrogen peroxide as both Jacobs and your eyes lit up in slight fear but moreso you. “When you said disinfectant-“ “Dude you’re not gonna- put that…on his arm right?” both you and Jacob would rather amputate than deal with the pain that is hydrogen peroxide. “It’s all we have, it’ll disinfect it practically instantly but its going to burn like all hell.” You sighed as Jacob sighed, his footsteps slowly maneuvered behind you, so slow it’s as if he didn’t want to put you through even more pain. His hands rubbing your shoulders as if you were gonna get a pep talk, except that never happened. He grabbed your arm as you were thinking of any excuse to make Kaitlyn stop.

“Kaitlyn are you sure that’s all we got, i mean shit cmon there’s gotta be- FUCK DUDE FF- A-aHh- SHIT-“ You immediately tried retracting your arm but Jacob held it tight as you used your other hand to muffle your faint but very slight held back cries. “Shit dude i’m sorry i’m sorry” Jacob said rather genuinely. “Sorry, if I just did it now rather than hearing you make every excuse in the book for why I shouldn’t we would be here all day, I’m sure you’ll understand when your vendetta against me fades away in maybe a few centuries?” She said trying to lighten the mood despite the fact you couldn’t really grasp what anyone was saying, the burning was just way too much even if the cool water was supposed to help.

It felt like an eternity, the pain refused to let up and if it was then it’s doing a terrible job at it “hey man you did it! you did it!” Jacob moved his hand from your shoulder to your back as he tried to sooth every feeling going through you, his voice was always able to snap you out of thought even if it was a bit harder this time around. Your hand moved from your mouth as you simply gasped, trying not to make any of your pain vocal. Sure the pain was going away more and more at a snails pace but did she really have to do it so suddenly? You hadn’t realized the tourniquet was off as well, I guess the cut wasn’t super deep, no stitches thankfully. Though the cloth was put back on.

“Alright you gotta rest up, i’m sure the other guys will come back soon” she said as she moved you back to the bed, “cmon Jacob” she said as she tried pulling him out with her. “Uh- c-can he stay? Just a bit?” As much as you needed rest, seeing someone hurt and ask for something only to not get it just didn’t sit right with her. “Okay just- don’t stay in there forever kay? He needs rest.”

She closed the door softly as Jacob sat next to you “Fuck man that scared me dude, thought you were gonna like- I dunno lose an arm?” it was quiet to the point where Jacob thought he said something wrong before your head rested on his shoulder and your intact arm wrapped around his. “Sorry just…I kinda need someone like you with me right now, no offense to Kaitlyn but she isn’t a big strong guy who makes people feel safe.” Jacob was just looking around, not weirded out or anything just appreciative that you think that of it, “I make you feel safe? Well what can I say, you don’t workout just for nothing” he got that tone where his ego was boosted just a bit as he flexed the arm you were holding just to prove his point.

“Yes thank you for making it clear you have big biceps” you said playfully annoyed as you smiled in the moment, you liked him a lot and he didn’t seem to mind all the physical affection you were giving him. You explained how you got hurt, and with the rambling you two were doing, his voice lulled you more and more to sleep. At this point his hand was on your head to make sure you don’t accidentally fall off his shoulder. “i’m glad you’re okay man, really” he hugged you in a slightly odd way with how you two were together but he somehow found a way to hold your head up while giving you a rather delicate hug.

His head slightly rested upon yours as he was just glad to know you’re okay, the last thing he needed was someone he cared for a lot to get hurt. Even if it’s only been a month and a half together, he cared for you to be that safe figure for you to go to. He eventually did want you to get some sleep so as carefully as he could he moved your body to the bed as slowly as he could and made sure your hurt arm wasn’t touching anything unnecessary.

He got up as he just watched your sleeping body, “don’t do that shit again” he huffed with a smile as he playfully tapped his fist against your leg. As much as he would want to make you comfortable and take your shoes and jacket off, that would probably be what wakes you up, so he just carefully exited the room as he rejoined his friends while keeping you in his mind.

#the quarry #jacob custos x male reader #jacob custos #x reader #x male reader #jacob custos my fucking beloved #the quarry jacob custos #fluff #fluff fic #jacob custos x reader

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alwayscoldj · 8 months

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Top 10 Hollywood Romcoms of the 90s

The 90s was a golden era for romantic comedies in Hollywood. From iconic pairings to unforgettable storylines, there were so many romantic comedies that captured our hearts and made us laugh. In this blog post, we will take a trip down memory lane and revisit the top 10 Hollywood romcoms of the 90s.

1. Pretty Woman (1990)

Pretty Woman is a classic romantic comedy that tells the story of a wealthy businessman who falls in love with a prostitute he hires to be his escort for a week. Starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, this movie has become a staple in the romcom genre and is beloved by audiences around the world.

2. When Harry Met Sally (1989)

While technically released in the late 80s, When Harry Met Sally is a quintessential 90s romantic comedy. It follows the relationship between Harry and Sally over the course of several years, exploring the question of whether men and women can truly be friends. Starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal, this movie has become an iconic part of romantic comedy history.

3. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)

Sleepless in Seattle is a heartwarming romantic comedy that tells the story of a widower who, with the help of his young son, tries to find love again. Starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, this movie is a classic example of the power of love to heal even the most broken hearts.

4. Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

Four Weddings and a Funeral follows the story of a group of friends and their romantic entanglements over the course of several weddings and a funeral. Starring Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell, this movie is a charming and witty look at love and relationships.

5. The Wedding Singer (1998)

The Wedding Singer is a hilarious romantic comedy that takes place in the 80s and follows the story of a wedding singer who falls in love with a waitress. Starring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, this movie is filled with nostalgia, great music, and a heartwarming love story.

6. You've Got Mail (1998)

You've Got Mail is a delightful romantic comedy that tells the story of two business rivals who fall in love with each other online without realizing they are actually enemies in real life. Starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, this movie is a modern take on the classic love story.

7. My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)

My Best Friend's Wedding is a romantic comedy about a woman who realizes she is in love with her best friend just as he is about to get married. Starring Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, and Cameron Diaz, this movie is a funny and heartwarming exploration of love and friendship.

8. Clueless (1995)

Clueless is a beloved romantic comedy that follows the life of a popular high school student who decides to play matchmaker for her friends while also navigating her own romantic relationships. Starring Alicia Silverstone, this movie has become a cult classic and a defining film of the 90s.

9. Notting Hill (1999)

Notting Hill is a romantic comedy about a bookstore owner who falls in love with a famous actress. Starring Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant, this movie is a charming and romantic story about two people from very different worlds finding love.

10. The American President (1995)

The American President is a romantic comedy that tells the story of a widowed president who falls in love with a lobbyist. Starring Michael Douglas and Annette Bening, this movie is a smart and funny exploration of love in the political world.

The 90s was a decade filled with romantic comedies that continue to be beloved by audiences today. From Pretty Woman to The American President, these movies captured our hearts and made us believe in the power of love. Whether you're in the mood for a classic love story or a hilarious take on modern romance, these 10 movies are sure to deliver.

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crazyk-imagine · 1 year

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Time Continues when You Stay

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Civillian!eader

Characters: Jake “Hangman” Seresin, Civillian!reader, Reader’s friends (Sammy, Danielle, and Cassie), Javy “Coyote” Machado, Robert “Bob” Floyd, Natasha “Phoenix” Trace, Reuben “Payback” Fitch, Mickey “Fanboy” Garcia

Warnings: Minor use of curse words, fluff, slight angest, Jake making some smexy comments, the infamous thigh squeeze, Jake and reader are the sluts of the group, Bob and Sammy make a close second, Javy lives to make fun of Jake, the squad made another bet, this starts off as cute and gets slightly darker, the squad cares about Jake

Word Count: 1,656

A/N: Did I forget I finished this earlier this week? Maybe. Did I post this before working on the second chapter of another one of my stories? Maybe. Am I listening to Shane and Ryan play mortuary assistant while doing this and then switch to my new obsession One Tree Hill? Yes.

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“One uber ride for a future Mrs. Seresin.”

You scoff as you sit down. "Now you're on board with the nickname they gave me."

"I figured why try to fight it when they won’t stop."

"Oh, you're so sweet."

"I know I am, that’s why you like me."

"Right now, I'm trying to figure out why I do."

"Hey, hey," he reaches over and places his hand on your thigh, lightly squeezing it. "You know you're only lying to yourself."

"You mean you are."

"Shut up."

"Now who's getting their feelings hurt," you tease him.

"Keep talking like that and you won't be walking right at the bar tonight."

"Promises, promises."

"Look who finally decided to show up."

You roll your eyes at Javy’s comment. "Look at the whore."

"Hey!" Your friend Danielle shouts.

"I was talking to your boyfriend," you smirk.

"Hey, not cool. I'm the one that helped get you two together," he points to the two of you. "So, really, you should be thanking me... or naming your first kid after me, whatever comes first."

"Wow." You lean your head on his shoulder, "he's been hanging around you for too long."

Now it's Jake's turn to scoff. "That's hurtful, sweetheart."

"I'm not sorry."

"I know and that's why I'm thinking of your punishment for later now."

"Gross."

"At least they're not as bad as Bob and Sammy," Danielle points out.

"They could be worse than them if given enough alcohol," Javy adds. "Even then they go to the bathroom drunk as hell. They have the decency to pretend like they aren't gonna fuck."

"Hey, hey. We don't expose you so, you don't need to expose me like that.”

“There’s no fun in that,” Danielle teases you before walking away and her boyfriend following after her.

“Are we as slutty as they say we are?” You ask him.

“I don’t think so.”

“We are,” you whine to yourself.

“That’s rude of you to say sweetheart.”

“If you’re saying somethings not so slutty then it is. You’re the prime slut of the group.”

“You sure you’re not thinking of Chicken?”

“Oh, I know I’m not.”

“This calls for an early punishment.”

“No,” you tell him, keeping him at arm’s length as you run away until he catches you and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into him.

Natasha shakes her head, passing Mickey and Reuben forty dollars, a twenty-dollar bill to each of them.

“I told you he’d act sappy with her,” Reuben says, while counting the money in a taunting manner.

“Would you cut it out and give me my share?” Mickey snatches the money from his friend.

“Leave them alone. They’re happy,” Bob chimes in.

“Oh, look. The other sluts have arrived,” Natasha teases him.

He adjusts his glasses avoiding everyone’s gazes. “That’s- that’s- you guys are being rude.”

Sammy stands beside him, wrapping an arm around his waist. “Are you guys being mean to my Bobby boo?”

“Us being mean to your boy toy,” Mickey starts off.

“Never,” Reuben adds, wrapping his arm around Mickey and Natasha’s shoulders.

“I love this.” You spin around in his arms, holding him by his waist as you rock side to side.

“Love what?” He pulls your arms off him and spins you around, pulling you into a slow dance.

“A lot of things.”

“What kind of things?”

“Oh, you know. This.”

The corner of his lips tugs upwards, “and what does this entail? I’m going to need some more details. I need you to use your words, sweet girl.”

You sink your teeth into your bottom lip before smiling. “I love… the fact that you got enough courage to ask me for my number and here we are.”

“Oh, is that what you’re saying happened?”

“Yeah, because it’s the truth.”

“I wouldn’t say that I needed to gather enough courage to ask for your number.” He spins you again.

“You did though.”

“Nah, I just needed to get my feet moving to get to you before your uber showed up.”

“Same thing.”

“Not really because I was going with the feeling.”

“What feeling?”

He keeps one arm around your waist and holds your free hand with his. “You remember when you asked how I felt when I’m in the sky?”

You nod.

“I can remember pushing myself through the crowd and out the door to get to you and my heart…”

“Your heart stopped?” You joke with a light chuckle.

“Almost.”

You quiet down, staring at him as he avoids your gaze as your hands slide up his arms and settle around his neck.

“My body was in auto pilot, and I was behind you out that door asking you for your number feeling as buzzed as I do after flying.”

You hum, curling your arms further around his neck, hugging him.

He smiles, tucking his head into your neck.

“I’m glad you told me that.”

“Don’t let it go to your head,” he mumbles against your skin.

“Too late.”

You pull back and stare into his eyes. “I need you to wake up.”

He furrows his brows. “What?”

“Wake up. I can’t- I can’t lose you, Jake.”

“Sweetheart, what are you-”

“I need you to wake up,” you sniffle. “I can’t look any of your friends in the face and tell them you’re gone. I know it’s selfish of me to ask but please don’t make me do that, honey.”

He blinks and everything is gone. “Sweetheart? Hey, sweetheart? Where’d you go?”

You squeezed his hand tighter when he begins to lightly jerk his legs, pushing yourself out of the stupidly annoying (for no reason) hospital chair. “Jake. Jake. Hey, hey Jake.”

He opens his eyes and stops, the feeling of your hand on his head gets him to shiver.

“Hey there,” you greet him with a teary-eyed smile.

“Hey,” he replies, sounding horse and in need of water.

You hand him the cup of water Bradley got you earlier that day but never drank. “How are you feeling? I should get the doctor.” You point over your shoulder, “I’m going to go get the doctor.”

“No,” he shakes his head, reaching for you, wincing at the pain in his side. “Don’t leave,” he groans.

“Jake, stop coming closer and lay down you mad man.”

“How’d they let you in? Isn’t it supposed to be immediate family only?”

You avoid his gaze and fluff his pillow. “I may have told them we were a step further… in our relationship than we actually were.”

He smiles.

“And what was that?”

“We’re engaged and my ring is being resized. That’s why I don’t have it on right now.”

“You came up with a story and everything. Wow,” he teases.

You pout and lightly smack him, barely touching him. He grabs your hand and pulls you closer to the bed, wanting you to sit beside him. “I don’t want to hurt you, honey.”

“There’s only two ways you can hurt me. One, by sitting on my catheter. And two, not sitting on this damn thing with me so just please, give this hurt cowboy a break.”

You accept the hand he holds out for you and sit beside him, staring at your adjoined hands.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“Nothing.”

He feels the way your hand starts shaking. “Hey, hey.”

You don’t turn your head around and purse your lips together, trying to hold yourself together.

“Look at me, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

“But you almost weren’t!”

“What are you-”

“The doctor said they lost you for a few minutes but that you were going to be okay. When she said those words I- I thought I lost you.”

“But you didn’t, see. I’m right here. I’m right-”

“You almost weren’t.”

He pauses, thinking about what to say next. “I think even if that was the case, you wouldn’t have left me.” He pulls your hand up, placing it over his heart. “You didn’t leave even when you thought I was gone. I think you’d follow me towards the ends of the earth,” he says, with a teasing smile, repeating the same thing your parents told each other all the time when you were a child.

It holds a promise to the person it's being said to… even when things get tough, neither of you are going to leave the other, you’re going to get through things together.

“I regret telling you that,” you wipe your cheeks with one hand and attempt to pull your other one out of Jake’s grasp but fail as he keeps a hold of it. “Jake-”

He shakes his head, reaching for your waist, pulling you closer.

You do, slowly and gingerly to not aggravate any of his injuries.

He wipes your cheeks, “why’s my pretty girl crying? You know I only like it when you cry out for me and not like this.”

You scoff, inwardly rolling your eyes. “Don’t say things like that when you’re-”

“Enjoying the moment with the future Mrs. Seresin.”

“Stop. You can’t say things like that.”

“Oh, I can when it’s easy to get you riled up.” He opens his arms, placing your hand on the side of his neck. “Lay with me.”

“I don’t-”

He shakes his head, “you won’t win against me, and you know it.”

You don’t fight him and give in.

Javy, Natasha, Bob, and Bradley all fight to get into Jake’s hospital room.

He shushes them and gestures for them to be quiet, “don’t wake her up or I swear I will live up to the so-called back story to my call sign ten times harder than usual.”

Everyone slowly walks out of the doorway with their hands up, mumbling their apologies.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you mumble.

“Yes, I did. They wouldn’t have left unless I said something.”

“You’re so kind.”

“Only for you, sweetheart.” He pecks your forehead, “only for you.”

Return to: Part I

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shyanshippingsociety · 3 months

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Shyan Shipping Society - NY Fic Exchange 2024

hi everyone!

can you believe it's our fourth annual new years exchange? we had some amazing fics and art (hosted in our server!) and i can't wait to bring them all to you here! let's go!

CHECK OUT THE AO3 COLLECTION!

doll island by idkspookystuff | E, 3K, complete

So Shane clearly picked up something on the Island. Something that made him hot and sweaty and horny, apparently. It doesn’t sound like any spider venom Ryan’s ever heard of, or the signs of a demonic curse. Although, a curse- “Oh, fuck,” Ryan swears. it's 2016, shane & ryan are on the island of the dolls, and a demonic doll plays matchmaker

satan, you're a nerve-y one by icantturnthisthingoff | E, 1K, complete

After a series of unfortunate events, Ryan finds himself alone on New Years Eve wishing he had someone to keep him company Enter, Incubus Shane

The Sky In The Snow by Charmingwolf | T, 1K, complete

A group of backpackers stayed the night in an abandoned shed deep in the forest. In the dark, one was journaled their adventures until they felt the rumble of a massive creature just outside the thin walls. They looked out the window and saw a huge black thing with scales that twinkled like stars and huge fangs that dripped puddles of dark goo as it walked. That was all they got down before the creature attacked. It tore down the walls of the shed before killing the backpackers and dragging them into the crunchy frostbitten grass. That was 20 years ago. No one has seen the creature since. Ryan and the producers think it would make a great video to go hunting for the creature dubbed The Forest Hill Lizard.

one random night when everything changes by Artemis | E, 1K, complete

Ryan looks for Shane on New Year's Eve and finds more than just the person he was looking for that night. AKA Shane confesses his love for Ryan, they smooch, then they do something about it.

all in! by anonymous | T, 4K, complete

“I bet…," he starts, flashing a grin at Shane's flushed face. "you won’t kiss me on New Year’s Eve.” Ryan watches as Shane instantly runs the numbers on this, through whatever mental calculator he has in his brain. He imagines beeps and whirs, gears turning words into numbers. “Alright, Bergara,” he says, after a moment. Then, he slides his whole stack of chips sitting on the pool table and nods, slow and considering. “I’m all in.” OR: Ryan makes a bet. It escalates from there.

They Got Subway at 2 am by Charmingwolf | M, 1K, complete

After a very silly and kind of sexually charged shoot, Shane and Ryan explore each other's bodies like they have done many times before.

Given the Chance by PlatinumPussycat208 | E, 3K, complete

“It’s…I built a time machine.” Ryan and Shane blinked at each other. The other Shane and Ryan looked at one another, but stayed in the doorway quietly. “Fuck off, Steven. That’s not funny.” Shane’s voice was serious now. “No! I mean it!” Steven cried. “It’s how I’ve been keeping on top of everything here! It only goes back a little! It just gives me more time in the day!” Ryan barked out a laugh. “Oh my god…trust Steven to build a time machine to do more work.” - a fun, smutty fic for the SSS NY Exchange!

Scheming for a Smooch by Impala_Chick | T, 2K, complete

The boys both decide to make a move on each other with a New Year's kiss at midnight. Only problem is, they're both plotting to get a smooch and the other doesn't know it yet.

Their dynamic is... by tasty_littl_snack | G, 1K, complete

Food files from the cameraman's perspective.

With A Little Help From Our Friends by quackers | M, 3K, complete

Everyone thinks they know Ryan and Shane's secret. Everyone. They might be wrong.

thank you so much to all of the incredible creators who joined this event! happy 2024 from the sss mods! we have so many fun things planned so make sure you follow us here on tumblr or join the server so you don't miss out! we hope you had a great 2023 in our server/on our blog and we can't wait for you to continue having a great time in our server in 2024!

love you!

the mods

#shyan shipping society new years exchange 2024 #shyan shipping society #shyan #skeptic believer #watcher after dark #buzzfeed unclean #buzzfeed after dark #mod ve

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taste-in-music · 4 months

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My Top 30 Songs of 2023

Hello everyone! Welcome back to my annual countdown of my 30 favorite songs of the year. 2023 had a lot of great music releases, and I’m so excited to recount the songs I returned to this year. And now, let us commence with the list!

Here are 10 additional honorable mentions: "Wide Eyes" by Loviet, "I Cry When You Sleep" by Pearly Drops, "Dreamgirl" by Father Koi, "My Love Mine All Mine" by Mitski, "Batman Song" by Cat Missal, "The Neighborhood" by Grace Enger, "I Been Young" by George Clanton, "Bright Red" by Ryan Beatty, "Dumbest Girl Alive" by 100 Gecs, and "The Narcissist" by Blur.

30. Angora Hills by Doja Cat: “Angora Hills,” a hit off Doja Cat's latest album Scarlet, is airy yet effortlessly self-assured, trading between quick-spit rap verses and a chorus of kitteny coos. But don’t get too lost in the sparkling keys and cutesy voicemails. There’s a spark, an edge, a darkness lurking in the murky bass and ominous synths which lends the song a greater intensity. “'Cause love is pain but I need this shit,” Doja Cat raps on the second verse, playing out cleverly rhymes romantic fantasies with an exhibitionist spin. “I wanna show you off,” she suggests on the song’s chorus, the red-hot desire roiling just beneath the surface.

29. Slut! by Taylor Swift: I think everyone was a little surprised hearing “Slut!,” the first vault track on 1989 (Taylor’s Version). When I first saw that title, I thought I was in for a catchy package of sassy one-lines and circa-2014 pop feminism. Instead, we got a tenderhearted ballad of wispy synths and Swift’s insightful musings on love in the limelight. Commentary does creep in (“Everyone wants him, that was my crime,”) but Swift focuses more on choice imagery of a love worth risking it all for: aquamarine swimming pools, thorny roses, and lovedrunk confessions. Sometimes, the most defiant thing is knowing that no matter how people might try to strip you of dignity, they’ll never be able to take your love away from you.

28. Nothing Matters by The Last Dinner Party: All-female British rock outlet The Last Dinner Party made a splash in 2023 with their confrontational yet exuberant debut single “Nothing Matters.” For a song with such a nihilistic title, it packs a punch of gravitas and a wry sense of humor. Lead vocalist Abigail Morris knows just when to heighten the melodrama, stretching the word “sailor” into “say-lahr” and belting the final refrain to the high heavens: “You can hold me like you held her / And I will fuck you like nothing matters.” In the music video, the group stomps around a gothic mansion in frilly petticoats and leather boots, tearing up feather mattresses and lip synching down to a camera positioned six feet deep in a grave. It all exhibits a keen ability to balance out the toughness with a cheeky wink, making it clear the group is only just getting started.

27. Running Out Of Time by Paramore: Much of Paramore’s sixth album This Is Why tears into the absurdity and stress of modern life. On “Running Out Of Time,” Hayley Williams captures the breakneck speed of life accelerated by packed schedules and the 24 hour news cycle, describing a self-destructive ouroboros of trying to catch up with the clock, doing her best to do good and always coming up short. “Intentions only get you so far,” she sings, “What if I’m just a selfish prick…?” It captures the stress and self-doubt, but also the conviction to keep moving forward despite it all. Williams provides a spirited performance as always, her vocals cutting through a pop rock groove that provides just enough energy to keep you from falling down the doom spiral completely.

26. Designated Driver by Taylor Janzen: Taylor Janzen’s debut album I Live In Patterns offered up several tracks which balanced heartfelt lyrics with propulsive pop flourishes, but it was “Designated Driver” that maintained the most momentum for me throughout this year. Atop a steady thrum of shimmering synths, Janzen unpacks her mixed feelings on being the "dependable friend," cracking under the pressure like a windshield. As the song builds, Janzen unveils the self-doubt eating away at her, where the raw emotions draw the other person in to detrimental effect: “you put your trust in a daydream / ’cause you love this dying part of me.” Janzen has the acute ability to put language to even the most obscure shades of anguish and giving them a more anthemic spin. “Designated Driver” is the song you can blast to get you through the grief, even as the toxicity shrinks away in the rearview.

25. One Of Your Girls by Troye Sivan: “One Of Your Girls” is a song so smooth that it’s easy to miss the melancholy which saturates its sparkling chords and clever lyrics. Troye Sivan taps into unrequited desire atop a lush, bassy thrum, describing a love interest who “everybody wants,” but who needs to keep their queerness covert. Sivan ushers in the song’s sing-along chorus with a languid sigh, glazing his voice in vocoder to keep the ache at bay: “Give me a call if you ever get desperate," he relents, "I'll be like one of your girls.” Pair it with a gender-bending music video, and you’ve got a song that delves into just how far a person might go obscure the hurt and save face.

24. I Need A New Boyfriend by Charly Bliss: It’s been four years since Charly Bliss’s last album Young Enough, and in 2023 they blasted back onto my radar with the scuzzy, snarky single “I Need A New Boyfriend.” This time, Charly Bliss sprinkle their anthemic rock sound with a touch of hyperpopping, bleep-blorping synths and churning electric guitars. Frontwoman Eva Hendricks laments her loser lover who grouches through parties and gives backhanded compliments, her observations both witty and scathing: “It took me three years but I finally figured it out / I’m just too fun for him,” “’Cause even though we had a five year plan / I couldn’t stay with him another minute.” By the song’s riotous end, you’ll also have the conviction to kick such soul suckers to the curb.

23. Feather by Sabrina Carpenter: It’s rare that a bonus track from a deluxe edition from an album is the source of a pop artist’s ascent to stardom. Rare, but not impossible. Case and point: “Feather,” the floaty bonus track from the deluxe edition of Sabrina Carpenter’s fifth album emails I can’t send. A downy kiss-off about leaving an ex in the past, Carpenter dreamily narrates the steps to her ghosting process over a softly strut beat of key glissandos and memorable ad-libs. It’s the humorous side of “Feather” that makes it a notable hit in Carpenter’s catalogue, the touches of sarcasm cut through the sweetness and showcase her multifaceted charisma as a performer. That little chuckle she lets out as she says “I’m so sorry for your loss” is the stuff superstars are made of.

22. LEFT RIGHT by XG: There was a handful of weeks back in the spring where every iota of my brain space was taken up by XG. The global girl group broke through with videos of the group’s rappers adding their own verses onto iconic modern beats, (group leader Jurin’s verse over ROSALÍA’s “SAOKO” is a bop and a half.) In a departure from the bombastic samples and in-your-face performances of those videos, XG takes a subtler approach on “LEFT RIGHT,” an ebullient blend of R&B and pop that goes down easy but has the same insidious ability to get stuck in my head. The lyrics are goofy yet earnest enough to make up for it. This boy has the narrator’s heart “Spinnin’ round and round / Just like my Pirellis, burning on the ground.” When a love is so strong it can pull you any direction, you’ve got no choice but to kick into gear and let the vibes carry you away.

21. Hummingbird by Metro Boomin ft. James Blake: When I took my seat in the theater to watch Spiderman: Across the Spider-Verse, the second installment in Sony’s stunning animated superhero franchise, I knew the music was going to slap, (the needle drop for “What’s Up Danger” from the first movie is one of my all-time favorites.) While the soundtrack has many a banger, it was ultimately the tender hearted “Hummingbird” that I latched onto. James Blake lends his silky soft vocals to wistfully pine for a love that always remains just out of reach. Metro Boomin elevates the distance Blake describes with spacious and spacey production, dappled with piano and a chirpy sample of Patience & Prudence's "Tonight You Belong to Me." It’s a love song that spans time and space, across the Spider-Verse and well beyond.

20. Patty's Diner by Upstate: “Patty’s Diner” by Upstate came to me via a recommendation from a friend, (shoutout @bellamysgriffin) and I don’t know whether to thank or throttle her for it, because it’s one of the most potent tearjerkers I’ve heard in recent memory. Upon my first listen, I found the song to be starkly understated, nothing but a plucked guitar and traded verses from both lead vocalists. The central character is Patty, a diner owner who passed away from cancer. Now, her memory lives on in late-night radio commercials and fading recollections of her kindness, all recounted with a melancholy shrug. In its staggering simplicity, “Patty’s Diner” captures something potent about the grief we hold for loved ones: it can come with a smile as well as tears. Take a page from Patty’s book and keep pushing forward. What else are we supposed to do?

19. There It Goes by Maisie Peters: On her sophomore album The Good Witch, Maisie Peters writes a lot about the breakup experience. A whole number of spunky kiss-offs from that record could’ve landed on this list, but as the autumn chill locked in for the final months of the year, I found myself more and more drawn to the album’s penultimate moment of reprieve. “There It Goes” shows Peters letting go of the relationship by pivoting towards self-improvement. Atop a warm strummed guitar groove, she lists off the steps to reconnecting with her friends and herself: going to yoga class, reading novels, stumbling through the streets of Stockholm. Much of The Good Witch focuses on the thunder of emotions which come from heartbreak. “There It Goes” is the calm after the storm. It demonstrates the much harder to describe but no less essential development that happens after growing apart: growing up.

18. Only Love Can Save Us Now by Kesha: On her latest album Gag Order, Kesha pivoted from the party anthems that put her on the map in favor of a sparer, darker sound. Then halfway through the album, “Only Love Can Save Us Now” swings in to prove that Kesha can still serve up a barn-burning banger if she wants, and thank god she does. On “Only Love Can Save Us Now,” Kesha unloads a list of unapologetic declarations over a typewriter-clack beat, each line wry and searing: “Yeah, I'm possessive / Maybe I'm possessed, bitch / Fuck yeah, I'm selfish / Shut up, eat your breakfast.” The chorus kicks in with a rollicking guitar, gospel choir, stomping drums, and jangly pianos which all lend a folksy intensity. “I don’t got no shame left,” Kesha sings in the song’s final moments, “Baby, that’s my freedom.” It’s a moment of deft catharsis on an album so heavily defined by what it holds back, a defiant invitation to exorcise your regrets and then invite your demons to come and join the dance party.

17. Mother Nature by MGMT: It’s been five years since MGMT’s last album Little Dark Age, and it feels like I’ve lived a whole lifetime since then. “Mother Nature,” the lead single off their fifth album Loss of Life, shows that MGMT have seemingly grown as much as I have. The song is warm and welcoming, built from sunshiny strummed guitars I’d usually expect from Alex G or Big Thief. But the stargazing, larger-than-life scope of the group’s past work remains, merging the mundane with the magical. “I wrote the fairytale on the midnight drive,” Andrew VanWyngarden sings in the song’s opening moments, “Wanting to know if I'm more than alive.” The rest of the song walks this line between enchantment and ennui, alluding to a greater darkness looming just beyond the horizon. The bridge makes a swing for the anthemic, describing a castle siege over scuzzy wails of distorted synth, a last swipe for hope “before the fantasy is cast into the fire.” I can’t wait to hear how “Mother Nature” fits into Loss of Life, but it’s a song that is determined to live life to the fullest, even in the most barren of landscapes.

16. brrr by Kim Petras: Over the past few years, Kim Petras has become one of the pop landscape’s most audacious players, knowing when to wallop her listeners with unrestrained discussions of sexuality and when to play it coy. She finds a perfect balance between these realms on “brrr.” Built off a beat of squelchy synths and throbbing bass, “brrr” is equal parts daring and alluring. Petras addresses a love interest who puts up thick walls of ice around their heart and makes it clear that she sees right through the charade. “I’m not one to be afraid,” she lilts teasingly on the pre-chorus. Instead of being put off, she buys in, the implication clear as she delivers the title line with a wink and a smirk: “...you think you’re so cold, brrr.” Leave it up to Petras to make even the iciest of imagery steamy as hell.

15. labour by Paris Paloma: It starts with a low male voice, way back in the mix, counting her in on four. Then, the storm clouds roll in. On social media, “labour” by Paris Paloma has been deemed an anthem of female rage, but unlike the immediate, memetic quality of its viral peers, “labour” understands that rage needs time to simmer before it explodes. Paloma airs out every grievance of how this women’s work batters us in body, mind, and spirit, ruthlessly recounting bursting capillaries, cracked skin, every bullshit archetype and patriarchy-serving expectation thrown our way. Paloma knows that at the end of the day, no amount of spectacle could hit harder than the all-too-simple truth at the song’s core: “It’s not an act of love if you make her / you make me do too much labour.” Her vocals layer and layer until the final chorus slams into you like a tidal wave of anger, and by the song's final moments, Paloma has made the narratives made to hold us back into something wholly her own.

14. Nymphs Finding the Head of Orpheus by Nicole Dollanganger: Of all the tales Nicole Dollanganger spins on her album Married In Mount Airy, “Nymphs Finding the Head of Orpheus” is by far one of the most elusive. Dollanganger offers up a foreboding atmosphere of feather-light strings and dark ambient reverb. The imagery centers on rebirth, the baptismal potential of a tepid pool, bodies reclaimed by nature. It has little to do with the gory bacchanal of the mythical moment in the title, but the insinuation remains, seeping in at the seams to suggest violence and regeneration as potentially interconnected. On an album so concerned with all the evils of men, perhaps the most terrifying thing of all is what lies beyond our standard perception of human actions, of nature locked in shadow. On "Nymphs Finding the Head of Orpheus," Dollanganger offers a glimpse of this disembodied face in the darkness, one we’ll never be able to truly know.

13. Sandrail Silhouette by Avalon Emerson: "Sandrail Silhouette" opens DJ Avalon Emerson's album & The Charm, reintroducing a new side of her craft. A departure from the electronic spin of her past work, the song feels organic yet gleaming, constructed of a move-and-shaker groove of rich strings, shuffleboard keys, and gloaming skids of bass. Emerson’s vocals waft over the landscape with the calming timbre of someone telling a bedtime story, stringing lyrics together like beads on a friendship bracelet. It’s an environment that’s easy to get lost in, so much so that it hit November before I even bothered to ask, what even is a "sandrail silhouette?" I have no clue, but it’s not so much about the words themselves as it is about the feelings they evoke, a wistful nostalgia that is aching yet hopeful. This feeling comes across in obtuse details (“Go ask a sequoia”) and stunning clarity alike (“Tell me I got more time / When all my friends are having daughters.”) Like the yearning for the past Emerson describes, my love for this song is hard to put into words. It’s easier to just sit back and let myself feel it.

12. WHAT A MAN by DEBBY FRIDAY: “WHAT A MAN” by DEBBY FRIDAY simply slams so fucking hard. I don’t know what else to say. From the very first listen I came to immediate conclusion that it slammed into oblivion and was one of my favorite songs of 2023. "WHAT A MAN" unfurls like an erotic noir thriller, all churning bass and musings on a love that’s slipped the narrator’s fingers. DEBBY FRIDAY’s lyrics are obtuse yet evocative, contributing to the seductive atmosphere: “I held a heart / It wasn’t mine / When he came looking / I wasn’t kind.” Stacks of escalating synths ratchet up the tension until all hell breaks loose on the back of a scorching electric guitar solo that’d make Andrew Lloyd Weber’s Phantom of the Opera jealous he didn’t come up with it first. It’s the kind of song that rips loose and is over all too fast, asking for forgiveness in the aftermath of ruin, and never, ever permission.

11. Top Dog by Magdalena Bay: Hands down the best pop song of the year to reference Laura Dern, a race that should by all means be a lot more competitive than it is. From its opening references to the actress, synth pop duo Magdalena Bay make it clear that this isn't a song where they're going to be taking themselves too seriously. Everything about "Top Dog" oozes lackadaisical confidence, all with a cheeky wink to the listener. Against a backdrop of strummed guitars, they pepper in samples of cameras snapping and, fittingly, dogs woofing. Not only that, but they also add in a healthy dose of aughts nostalgia with a synth palette that feels directly pulled from dial-up bleeps, Motorola ringtones, and 8-bit power-ups. Mica Tenenbaum’s vocals are a pitch-perfect balance of airy nonchalance and self-satisfaction, traversing through the goofy canine metaphors without once sounding like she’s forcing a punchline to land. It makes for a song that’s loopy, loping, and effortlessly fun.

10. Honey by Samia: It’s hard to pin down what makes the title track of Samia’s sophomore album so special. “Honey” is subtle yet anthemic, an ever-growing conviction coming into fruition over the song’s duration. “I’m not scared of sharks / I’m not scared to be naked / I’m not scared of anything,” Samia sings in the song’s opening moments, going on to narrate a continual climb towards self-confidence and determination. My favorite detail is the gradually growing backing chorus which appears and reappears with more intensity with each new iteration of the song’s main refrain. “It’s all honey,” Samia repeats, over and over at the song’s close. All the times I’ve listened to this song, and I still haven’t pinned down an exact meaning for that line, but maybe that’s the point. The nonchalance, the uncertainty, the acceptance that no matter where life takes us, it's sure to be sweet.

9. Welcome To My Island by Caroline Polachek: In the opening moment of Desire, I Want To Turn Into You, Caroline Polachek shows off the titanic potential of her voice, letting out a dexterous, breathtaking belt that warps and careens into the stratosphere. Even if the song was just comprised of its first thirty seconds, it’d probably still be on this list. But then, of course, there’s the rest of “Welcome To My Island,” a facetious introduction to the sonic space Caroline Polachek will go on to explore over the rest of the album. Over a glimmering, twitchy beat, Polachek half-raps, half-belts a series of pitches for her personal paradise of waving palm trees and placid oceans. On the song’s bridge, she gets more vulnerable, revealing the pathos amongst the phthalo blues: “I am my father’s daughter in the end,” she sings like she’s on the brink of tears, “no nothing’s gonna be the same again.” But when the groove snaps back over an outro of brassily tuned guitars and defiantly chanted “hey hey hey”s, it’s clear that Polachek’s island is worth booking an extended stay, self-doubt be damned.

8. bad idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo: “bad idea right?,” the second single on Olivia Rodrigo’s sophomore album GUTS, followed on the heels of operatic ballad “vampire” by not following it at all. Like the preceding sophomore single “deja vu,” it’s snarkier, wonkier, and (in my opinion,) way more engaging. While Rodrigo undeniably knows how to pen and pull off a dramatic power ballad, her comedic chops deserve recognition too. On “bad idea, right?” she chattily recounts a night of terrible decision making, tossing out hilarious, memorable one-liners at a dizzying rate: “…you're callin' my phone, you're all alone / And I'm sensing some undertones,” “I only see him as a friend / (The biggest lie I ever said,)” “I just tripped and fell into his bed.” The production ups the ante with a strutting bassline, ad-libs which drive every line home like Rodrigo’s inner monologue coming to life, and a squealing guitar solo in the song’s back end. " All in all, "bad idea right?" captures the tumultuous clownery that having a crush conjures up, self-aware embarrassment colliding with lovesick horniness that makes you look a wealth of poor choices the eye and brush it off with a “fuck it, it’s fine.”

7. Echolalia by Yves Tumor: Echolalia is baby babble, the sounds humans make when they don’t have a grasp on language, but still need to communicate some innate need. On their latest album Praise A Lord Who Chews, But Which Does Not Consume (Or, Simply, Hot Between World,) Yves Tumor taps into these primal urges, transmogrifying them to a cosmic level through the medium of phychedelic rock. Such is the case on slow burning second single “Echolalia,” a hazy whirlwind of devotion and desperation. “Looked up to god,” they sing in the first verse, “You looked so good.” Tumor’s voice stays in their husky lower register, gritted out with hushed intensity over an alluring blend of gleaming synths, burning bass, and heaving breaths. “The way I’m thinking, is this unnatural?” they inquire in the song’s final moments, then lay their hesitations to waste in the heat of the moment, “you look so magical." At its most intense, “Echoloalia” strips away the set dressing of pretty words and veneers, unveiling the desire, hunger, and everything that simmers just below the surface, begging to break free.

6. Casual by Chappell Roan: I’ve long bemoaned how many a great pop album has been brought to a screeching halt by a ballad haphazardly thrown in to make things more “emotional.” A pop artist holds genuine promise to me when they’re able to clear this hurdle and make an album’s slower moments just as compelling as the bops. I'm glad to announce that Chappell Roan pasts this test with “Casual,” a mid-album on her debut album The Rise and Fall Of A Midwest Princess. On "Casual," slower pace of the song provides space to let Roan's simmering frustrations with a one-sided situationship reach a breathtaking boiling point. Roan pines for something more official with a girl who insist on having “no connections,” pointing to front seat cunnilingus sessions and dinner dates with her maybe-belle’s parents as proof that they're much more than a casual fling. Eventually, Roan just can’t take it anymore. “I hate that I let this drag on so long,” she confesses at the top of her lungs, “you can go to hell.” It’s testament to Roan’s promise as an emergent pop force that she can establish compelling stakes which make the emotions of her ballads tangible, never skippable.

5. A&W by Lana Del Rey: I already gushed about “A&W” back in March for how it showcases Lana Del Rey’s versatility as a performer, her veracity as a lyricist, and her astuteness in curating her personal history. As the year progressed, “A&W” kept pulling me back into its tumultuous depths, trying to parse its meaning and always falling just a bit short. Over the course of the song’s two-part structure, Lana Del Rey deftly maps a trajectory from childhood innocence to reckoning with how the world will wolf women down without mercy, their physical bodies exploited as their humanity goes unseen. “It's not about havin' someone to love me anymore,” Del Rey states, “No, this is the experience of bein' an American whore.” Lana Del Rey has grappled with these themes of for her whole career, walking the line between nostalgic recollection and ironic deconstruction, but on “A&W” they sharpen into focus and hit both the heart and gut like never before. That switch up into the second half of the song still sends a chill down my spine every time it’s ushered in on the back of those skittering trap drums and roiling bass. “A&W” is everything that makes Lana Del Rey Lana Del Rey, it's alluring, eerie, it’s Venice, bitch, and it’s one of her best songs, period.

4. Boy's a Liar Pt. 2 by Pinkpantheress ft. Ice Spice: When I listen to “Boy’s a Liar Pt. 2” by Pinkpantheress featuring Ice Spice, I feel the popular music landscape shifting beneath my feet. A strange thought to have about a song that’s so pointedly small in scope. Even with the Ice Spice verse extending the length of “Boy’s a Liar,” the song just barely exceeds two minutes. Given such restrictions, the amount of detail both artists manage to cram in is nothing short of impressive. Pinkpantheress jam-packs the beat with bouncy synths and a drum pad which races like a fluttering pulse. Ice Spice spends most of her verse telling off the useless titular liar, but adds in a one-two punch of vulnerability near the end with a heartened confession: “…I don't sleep enough without you / And I can't eat enough without you / If you don't speak, does that mean we're through?” “Boy’s a Liar Pt. 2” is more than just a rare remix that exceeds the quality of the first installment. It’s the bona-fide hit of the TikTok generation that feels fully born of the app’s tendencies, it’s mile-a-minute pacing, nostalgic skew, casual intimacy, and brutal honesty all rolled up into an inescapable earworm. I’d take part three in a heartbeat.

3. Psychedelic Switch by Carly Rae Jepsen: Throughout her career, Canadian pop connoisseur Carly Rae Jepsen has captured love from all angles, rendered its scope of e•mo•tion in a slew of shades. “Psychedelic Switch” off her latest album The Loveliest Time shows her setting the disco ball to spin, covering the entire spectrum of light and color in one go. Over a pulsing, dance-floor ready beat, she swirls together metaphors with the precision of a gourmet mixologist, taking odds and ends of all things dreamy to capture the onset of a whirlwind romance. This love is like a psychedelic trip. It’s like lucid dreaming. It’s like meditating. It’s sunsets and paradise and coming home. It's the all-encompassing rush of euphoria that only pop music can capture. Jepsen finishes off the concoction with a dash of sighing violins, a twist of bass throbbing like a heartbeat, and a couple drops of reverb-washed ad-libs. Every one of Jepsen’s album cycles has the fan-favorite standout to add to her growing canon, and from the very first listen I knew “Psychedelic Switch” had cemented itself within her ranks of cult classics.

2. Not Strong Enough by boygenius: When Lucy Dacus, Phoebe Bridgers, and Julien Baker announced their first full-length project as the singer-songwriter supergroup boygenius, the record, (the record,) had the aura of something larger than life, a culmination of three generational talents celebrating their chemistry as collaborators. If there is any song on the album that captures this magic, it’s “Not Strong Enough,” a song which burst out of the gate sounding like an instant classic. “Not Strong Enough” chronicles the search for identity amidst uncertainty, the line “I don’t know why I am / The way I am” may just be its driving force. And boy does it drive, as the singers search for clues listening to The Cure while drag racing down canyon highways, skipping old exits, roving out in search of a meaning that may never materialize. This freedom and frustration culminate on the bridge, where Dacus’s mastery of vocal dynamics takes center stage. “Always an angel / Never a god,” she sings, starting off with a whiff of timidity before escalating to belt it up to the heavens, backed up with stunning harmonies from her peers. An angel may only ever be second-best, only ever identified through its relation to a higher power, but that just makes the journey towards self-actualization more transcendent.

1. Sepsis by Blondshell: For the longest time, I was determined to put any other song but “Sepsis” at the number one spot on this list. Initially, my pick from Blondshell’s self-titled debut was “Kiss City,” an amazing song, but sadly not the one I played over and over, screaming along because the lyrics hit too damn close to home. Much of Blondshell grapples with addiction, and on “Sepsis,” Sabrina Teitelbaum explores how the validation one gets through situational flings is one hell of a drug. Atop the ebb and flow of electric guitar, she interrogates the tendency to keep returning to a man she should be avoiding, a dick with a front-facing cap who’s bad in bed. Still, she keeps coming back, pissed therapist be damned, because “if I’m in love, nothing hurts.” Teitelbaum hones these observations through the metaphor of curing ailments and fast-acting sickness, “he’s going to start infecting my life / it’ll hit all at once like sepsis.” It’s a metaphor which exposes how self-destructive these habits are. “What if I’m down to let this kills me?” she howls at the apex of the bridge before, the sentence slurring into a frustrated scream as the entire song tumbles back into a cavalcade of fiery chords. If there’s anything “Sepsis” and my relationship to it proves, it’s that confronting these unhealthy habits is difficult, but essential. Sometimes, you’ve got to recognize that these coping mechanisms aren’t a “cure” and are only “making it worse.” It’s only then that true healing can begin.

Thank you so much to anyone who has interacted with this blog over the past year. I hope you all are having a happy holiday season!. My top 10 albums list should be out soon. See you then!

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siblingshowdown · 1 year

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Sibling Showdown!!!

This showdown consists of 64 sibling sets facing off against each other, as well as a few one-off polls of sets who didn’t make the actual bracket but who I wanted to include in some capacity. Polls will last a week. Round One of section A will go live on April 16, with section B going live the day after, section C the day after that, and section D the day after that.

Propaganda is allowed! I just ask that it be kept positive. Argue for your faves instead of against someone else’s. Every sibling set who made it in the showdown is there because someone wanted them to be, so keep it kind.

Will the winners be the siblings that love each other the most? That are most capable of killing other sibling groups with their bare hands? That have the most sibling swag? It’s up to you to decide! You get to choose the manner and parameters you judge each sibling set for.

Section A:

Edward and Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs. Seiko and Ryuunosuke Tanaka (Haikyuu!!)

Wirt and Greg (Over the Garden Wall) vs. Han Yoojin and Han Yoohyun (The S-Classes That I Raised)

Shigeo and Ritsu Kageyama (Mob Psycho 100) vs. Ruby Rose and Yang Xiao Long (RWBY)

Sans and Papyrus (Undertale) vs. Tanjiro and Nezuko Kamado (Demon Slayer)

Jiang Yanli, Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Cheng (Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed) vs. Hikaru and Kaoru (Ouran High School Host Club)

Vi and Jinx (Arcane) vs. Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara (Naruto)

Sokka and Katara (Avatar: the Last Airbender) vs. Maya and Mia Fey (Ace Attorney)

Vash the Stampede and Millions Knives (Trigun) vs. Lucas and Claus (Mother 3)

Section B:

Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo Hamato (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) vs. Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack Parr (The Incredibles)

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Warner (The Animaniacs) vs. Jazz and Danny Fenton (Danny Phantom)

Huey, Dewey, and Louie (Ducktales) vs. Sitka, Denahi, and Kenai (Brother Bear)

Dion, Frazie, Razputin, Mirtala, and Queepie Aquato (Psychonauts) vs. Skipper, Rico, Kowalski, and Private (Madagascar)

Eda and Lilith Clawthorne (The Owl House) vs. Snap, Crackle, and Pop (Rice Krispies)

Bonnie and Clemont (Pokemon X and Y) vs. Annika and Brietta (Barbie: Magic of Pegasus)

Candace, Phineas, and Ferb (Phineas and Ferb) vs. Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup (Powerpuff Girls)

Nani and Lilo Pelekai (Lilo and Stitch) vs. Kai and Nya (Lego Ninjago)

Section C:

Maddie and Buck Buckley (911) vs. Steven, Shirley, Theo, Luke, and Nell Crain (The Haunting of HIll House)

David and Alexis Rose (Schitt’s Creek) vs. Dennis and Dee Reynolds (It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

Jonathan Byers, Will Byers, and El Hopper (Stranger Things) vs. Prue, Piper, and Phoebe (Charmed)

Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Five, Ben, Viktor Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy tv) vs. Mary, Billy, Freddy, Pedro, Eugene, and Darla (Shazam! movies)

Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain-Wayne, and Duke Thomas (DC comics) vs. Simon and River Tam (Firefly)

Elliot and Darlene Alderson (Mr. Robot) vs. Kara and Alex Danvers (Supergirl TV)

Connor, Kendall, Siobhan, and Roman Roy (Succession) vs. Sharpay and Ryan Evans (High School Musical)

Thor and Loki (Marvel Cinematic Universe) vs. Sarah and Felix (Orphan Black)

Section D:

Maedhros, Maglor, Celegorm, Caranthir, Curufin, Amrod, and Amras (The Silmarillion) vs. Antigone, Polynices, Eteocles, and Ismene (Greek Mythology/Sophocles’s Theban plays)

Coronabeth and Ianthe Tridentarius (The Locked Tomb) vs. Peter, Susan, Edmund, and Lucy Pevensie (The Chronicles of Narnia)

Nico and Bianca Di Angelo (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) vs. Declan, Ronan, and Matthew Lynch (The Raven Cycle/The Dreamer Trilogy)

Alec, Isabelle, Max Lightwood, and Jace Herondale-Lightwood (Shadowhunters) vs. Lark and Sparrow Oak (Dungeons and Daddies)

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire (A Series of Unfortunate Events) vs. Linus and Lucy Van Pelt (Peanuts)

Boromir and Faramir (The Lord of the Rings) vs. Bellamy and Octavia Blake (The 100)

Katniss and Primrose Everdeen (The Hunger Games) vs. Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy March (Little Women)

Kiryu Kazuma and Nishikiyama Akira (Yakuza) vs. Cain and Abel (the Torah/the Bible)

#mod note #tumblr poll #tumblr tournament #tumblr bracket #sibling showdown #sibling tournament #if someone knows where i can make a better visual of the bracket that you can actually read please let me know #i'm struggling here #but here we are!#a few of these first rounds are going to greatly disappoint me when my faves lose #but figuring this out was tedious without also trying to rig it to my favor

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keep-the-wolves-close · 3 months

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Steady Heart

Chapter 9: Change on the Rise

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M? (Still figuring out the rating system) (might eventually be M anyhow)

* Warnings: language, mentions of two different cancers: colon cancer and glioblastoma

* Word count: 3,540ish?

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all

Author's note: Since I have a few of these ready to go, I figured I would post an extra one early! I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well!

Stella trotted along on Abigail with Tank in tow down the sloped hill from the main house. She couldn’t help but hope Monica would be okay. She didn’t even want to begin thinking about the kind of rampage she’d have to bear witness to from Kayce if his wife wasn’t. ‘Monica’s young and strong. She’ll be okay.’

She could see Rip sitting on his bay gelding, Dude, off to the side of the cattle pen with Lloyd. Her shoulders stiffened and she plotted her course to the barn to put Tank up. Flipping her ball cap back around so the bill faced forward, she gave a silent prayer that she would go unnoticed.

The wide berth she gave the group of men proved to be ineffective at keeping her out of their attention. The men’s eyes all landed on her and she did her damndest to ignore them. ‘Just gotta make it to the barn.’

Ryan called out to her as he trotted closer. “Stella! What happened?”

She halted Abigail and Tank followed suit. Her eyes closed briefly, and she pressed her lips together and cursed her brother’s inherent need to be nosy. Stella scanned the crowd and found Ryan moving closer. She leaned in her brother’s direction which made Abigail turn to face the men.

“Something happened to Monica. He had to go to her. So I’m putting Tank away and then I’ll be keeping myself busy until Mr. Dutton comes back.” A snicker came from Rip. Stella bristled. “What, Rip? What is so funny about that situation?”

“He went and ran off and left you with the responsibility yet again, huh?”

Stella tossed Abigail’s reins in Ryan’s general direction and slid off of her mare in a fluid dismount. She squared her shoulders and stalked toward the foreman.

“Stella don’t!” Ryan yelled as he scrambled to either catch the reins or his sister, he wasn’t sure.

“Oh shit, here we go.” Colby sighed, turning to face the imminent destruction. He grabbed the reins from Ryan’s hand, allowing him to bolt off to his sister.

Rip’s motion mirrored Stella’s posture. If she was looking for a fight, he would give her one. It was the rules after all.

Ryan sprinted behind his sister and reached out for her arm. Stella ripped her arm out of his grasp just as he brushed her. “Get the fuck away from me Ryan!”

Ryan stood there with a hand out dejected. He dropped it with a slap. There was nothing anyone could do except be forced to watch Stella go against their boss. They wanted to jump in and save her before she self-destructed, but that wouldn’t fly with Rip. No one knew what could be done. They were stuck spectating like it was a car wreck.

“Stella, I'm gonna give you one chance to walk away.” Rip’s warning was deceptively calm.

Ryan pleaded from between. “Take the chance, Stell! Don’t do this!”

She snubbed her brother’s begging. “You know, when you barred me from the bunkhouse for a few days I said I wasn’t gonna fight you.” A fire was igniting in her eyes the closer she got to Rip. “But I’ve got the fuckin’ energy today. So come on!” She waved her hands at him before squaring herself up to him. “You seem to be so high on that horse, get off and make your damn point.” They came toe to toe as she finished. Stella huffed and puffed, rage rolling through her chest like fire. She and Rip locked eyes, or well eyes to sunglasses and the fire burned through her.

Rip surveyed her stoically from behind the shades, taking in her misplaced anger. He knew Stella was mad at herself because she knew he was right about her and Kayce.

“Well?!” She shouted and shoved his chest. Abigail squealed in the background.

Rip puffed from her hit. He gritted his teeth. “You can be mad but be mad somewhere else. Think about why you’re pissed. Because it ain’t at me sweetheart.”

“Oh shove it up your ass Rip! You just want to be able to say I told you so.”

“Cut the shit, Stella. You’re mad because you’re in denial.”

“Denial about what?!” She screamed.

“Kayce is gonna be the death of you. And I’m gonna be the one left with the task of burying you for your brother if you’re not careful.”

Stella screamed and lunged at Rip. She gripped his collar and he caught her. His sunglasses and her ball cap went flying. It was apparent to Rip that she didn’t want to hurt him. She needed to let the anger out. Stella pushed and pulled his chest, stretching his shirt collar askew. Quick as lightning, Rip reached around her back and grappled with her before he flipped her around onto his knee and dropped her to the ground on her back.

Stella laid there with the wind knocked out of her as dust streamed around her in a cloud. “What,” she tried to crawl to a kneeling position and hoped her breath would come back to her, “the fuck.” Ryan watched helplessly as his sister signed the warrant for herself.

“Like I said Stella,” Rip bent to pick up his sunglasses. “You can be mad, but be mad somewhere else. Other than your job, you aren’t to be here for anything else until I say otherwise. Not even for your brother.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Rip. John wants to talk to me when he gets back. After that, I’ll be gone.”

Rip reached a hand out to Stella to help her up, hoping they could squash the subject, but she left it hanging. She stood as tall as her bruised pride would let her and dusted herself off. He chuckled dryly and said, “okay Stella,” and walked back to his horse.

She made her way back to her brother and held out her hand for the reins. She didn’t dare look at Ryan for fear of seeing his pissed off glare. She knew she’d been out of line. Today had been more than enough, and it wasn’t barely even lunch time.

“What the hell has gotten into you, huh?” She heard Ryan ask while she took the reins from him.

Stella shrugged. “I don’t have an answer for you Ryan.” She didn’t even bother waiting for his reaction. She wanted to go back to the barn.

She circled the horses around and got them to the cross ties. One on each end of the hall. Starting with Tank she made quick work of breaking him down. Abigail stood patiently, but every so often tried to get Stella’s attention. She knew her girl was upset, but her attention seeking went ignored. Finally she placed the mustang in his respective home for the rest of the day.

When Stella got to Abigail after putting Tank up, the large mare nudged at her multiple times. Stella huffed. “What Abs? What? It was stupid, and yes he’s right. Kayce does get me into a lotta shit, but I willingly sign up for it. So there’s no one to blame but myself. Not even Kayce.” The bay roan looked at her as if to say, ‘yeah, so? You were an idiot.’ Stella finished up with Abigail. She placed her safely in the stall, patted her shoulder, and began her journey up the hill.

Stella perched on the porch side wall and waited for John to get home. She looked out along the rolling hills of the property pensively. From the talk with Kayce the other day about his father not giving her the position by herself, she was sure that’s what he would be telling her.

Behind her, a car pulled up and two doors slammed. Jamie and Beth rushed up the stairs, but stopped short when they saw Stella.

“Stella?” Jamie sounded confused.

She moved her gaze to the sibling duo and nodded. “Waiting for your dad to come back. He wanted to talk to me or something.”

“Seems to be a theme today.”

Stella’s face scrunched at Jamie’s vagueness. “What do you mean?

“We have to talk to him too.”

“Oh.” She looked back out at the horizon. Jamie sat on one of the patio chairs.

Beth found the other comfy chair and seeing Stella’s sullen features she asked, “why the long face?”

Stella regarded Beth carefully. Depending on how much information she gave the woman; it would either quench Beth’s thirst for knowledge, or send her on a manhunt to figure Stella’s problem out some more. “Someone said something that got under my skin. Currently removing it.”

Jamie snorted. “Wow, someone actually got under the Stella’s skin?”

“Eat a dick Jamie. I’m sure you’d love it.” Stella snapped back at him.

Beth actually laughed, and loudly. “See Jamie? Somebody else shares the belief.”

“Oh will you two grow the fuck up?” Jamie grumbled, displeased at the attack from both of the women.

“Now who’s under whose skin?” Stella smiled smugly at the lawyer.

“So what did this person say to you?”

Stella’s heart dropped with the follow up question. The monster hadn’t been satiated. “Their opinion was that I make terrible decisions.” She shrugged.

“I could have told you that.” Jamie said.

Beth and Stella both rolled their eyes at the man, but refused to acknowledge him. “Decisions about what?”

“The crowd I keep.”

“Who said it?”

“No one you know, Beth. It doesn’t matter.” That was Stella’s subtle hint to stop hunting. If she ratted Rip out to his long standing love, it would probably just make things worse. “It’s outta my head now anyway.” There was a cloud of dust she spotted down by the lower driveway. “I think your dad’s home. Who has first dibs?”

“Let’s let him decide, shall we?” Beth stood as John’s truck came to a stop.

Stella caught a glimpse of his face from the top of the steps. He was pissed. The siblings went in on their dad after he rolled his window down. Slowly she came up behind them. She would let them get to him first.

“How bad?” John immediately questioned.

“You tell me.” Jamie retorted.

John rolled up the window in his children’s faces. He picked up his phone and started talking. Stella smirked and looked at the ground and fixed her glasses. Both children knocked on the truck window aggressively.

John knocked back and brought the window back down. “Just hold on. Can I just have one fucking minute to myself here? Please?”

Stella almost laughed at the comically slow speed the window rolled back up. She turned her head and covered her mouth to hide her smile. John was so irritated with his children and whatever shenanigans they had gotten into today. Stella had just gotten rid of his ire. She didn’t want to bring it back. They heard as the phone clattered into the cup holder.

They watched the patriarch get out of the truck and deeply sigh. “What?” Jamie started to stammer with a response, but John held up a hand to stop him, “no, not yet.” John pointed at Beth. “You and I are gonna have a conversation.” He turned his gaze back to Jamie. “What?”

“Talk to me about cancer.” Jamie started off. Stella’s eyes widened. John glanced at her, and she backed up a few steps. She didn’t want to intrude. This wasn’t her business to know.

“Okay. What would you like to know?”

“For a start, how long have you had it?” Beth questioned. Stella could tell she was holding back.

“Well, I don't have cancer. I had a tumor in my colon. It was removed.” John explained with a chuckle. “Nice, uh... nice to see you two exhibit some real emotion.”

“This isn't funny.” Beth accused. She and Jamie followed after John and she kept going after her dad. “These aren't the kind of secrets that you can keep.” Stella tagged along behind them at a distance.

“Yeah, well, it doesn't seem like much of a secret.” John looked at Stella quickly.

“That could be its own problem.” Jamie brought up.

“Well, lucky I have you to take care of it.” John pointed at his daughter. “You come with me.” He started to turn around, but stopped short. “Stella, you wait outside. I’ll talk to you when I’m done.”

Stella nodded and made herself comfortable on the stairs. Jamie stayed outside with her, much to her dislike. He sat on the stairs next to Stella with a groan. Hanging in the wings with Jamie wasn’t on her bingo card for this year, but she figured she would try to be nice to him.

“I take it that things didn’t go well with whatever y’all were trying to do this mornin’?” She asked.

Jamie looked out at the horizon like she had. He looked lost. Stella could understand. Her and Ryan’s father, Roy, had been diagnosed with brain cancer and hadn’t told them until it was at the point he needed surgery. Unexpected news like that ripped apart every aspect of your foundation. Even if the person was out of the woods and seemed to be doing great. John was one of the lucky ones. Stella and Ryan’s dad on the other hand, hadn’t been.

Stella realized Jamie hadn’t answered her. “It’ll be okay, Jamie. Your dad is one of the lucky ones to get it all out. Just gotta make sure it doesn’t come back.” Roy’s tumor had grown back aggressively seven months after it was removed. Not even a month after the doctors found it again, he was gone.

“How would you be able to know that?”

“Because Ryan and I have been there.”

Jamie’s mouth audibly dropped open. “What?” He had no idea.

Stella watched as the emotions flickered across his face. “Yeah. Glioblastoma.” She picked up a leaf that had blown onto the step next to her. “We left after our dad passed, but he didn’t tell us until it was damn near too late.” She focused back on the horizon. “Stubborn and proud. That’s how we left it.”

“I’m sorry, Stella.”

She shrugged. “Nah it’s okay. It was a long time ago. Which is why we don’t talk about it.” Extending the proverbial olive branch, she smiled at him. “So trust me when I tell you, your dad isn’t hiding anything health wise. You’d be able to tell after a while.”

He nodded just as they heard the door whip open behind them. John stood there looking perturbed as ever, but he focused on Stella. “Jamie, I need to talk to Miss Stella here. So go do whatever it is you need to do about this morning.” Jamie nodded again and made his way off inside the house. Stella stood up at the bottom of the stairs and waited for John to meet her.

“So how’s that horse coming?” John started off.

Stella placed her hands in her back pockets. “He’s good. He really isn’t mean if you pay attention to what he’s telling you. None of the wranglers are patient enough. Maybe Lloyd, or Jimmy provided that someone is with him. I think Kayce being around also helps. There’s something kindred between the two of them.”

John smirked. “I know what you mean. I’ve seen it myself.”

Stella nodded and glanced around. She wasn’t sure what John wanted, but the air felt weighted. “So,” she cleared her throat, "what did you wanna talk to me about, sir?”

“Walk down to the barn with me.” He wagged his finger as he started to walk off.

“Uh, I’m not sure the barns a good idea.”

John stopped short and looked over his shoulder at her. “Why’s that?”

Stella sighed. “Well, Rip and I kinda got into it earlier. Other than my job he banned me from the ranch for a while.” Her cheeks heated up when she admitted her weak moment and John turned to fully face her.

“Is that right?”

“Yeah.” Stella toed the dirt with her boot. “I mean he had already banned me because I tried to fight Fred. Even though that bitch deserved it. I just decided I was gonna to push my luck even further today.”

“About what?”

“Huh?”

“What did you get into it about?”

“He just said something this morning that really got on me, and then he opened his mouth again.” She sighed. “I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Well that’s between you two. You make it right. In the meantime, I have a job proposition for you.” Stella’s face perked up at John’s statement. “So come down to the barn with me. I’m your boss over Rip anyhow.”

Stella wiped her hands on her pants. The closer they got to the round pen and the barn, the sweatier they got. The wranglers were still out and about. She spotted her brother and Colby off to the side, both of them looked concerned. She scoped the area out and couldn’t find Rip, making her nerves spike higher. Paired with the fact that the last time she was in this barn with John, she made herself look stupid. Not exactly happy memories as of late.

John opened the door for Stella and held it until she timidly walked through.

“So this position I want to offer you.” He waved at a hay bale that was on the side of the aisle. “Have a seat.” Stella plopped herself on the bale and patiently waited for him to continue. John leaned against the wall across from her. “I’m planning on having Kayce around more. So I want him to take Lee’s position.” She casted her eyes down. “I know that position was going to you, but I think you would be much better suited to help Kayce.”

Disappointment flashed across her face quickly, but John still caught it. “I thought you’d be overjoyed at getting to work with my son again.” He watched Stella look everywhere but at him. “But there’s also a second part of that position.”

“Don’t get me wrong, sir. I am excited to work with Kayce again.”

“But?”

She thought back to this morning when Kayce threw attitude her way. She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I’ll make it work. What was the other part of the position?”

“Now that’s the part I think you’ll like.” John sat on the hay bale opposite her with a groan. “I was thinking about starting a broodmare program.” Stella’s eyes lit up. John held up his hand with a smirk. “Now hold on before you start chompin’ at the bit. It’s going to take a while to get proven and with Travis’s help, we might be able to hop a little faster, but I’m gonna need someone to be in charge of the broodmares. I wanted to offer that to you, since you have experience from your friend over at Grand Springs.”

“Can I ask some questions, sir?”

John waved his hand to the floor. “Fire away.”

“Now would we have broodmares for work horses, or show horses? Or both? That would determine what stallions I’m looking at, why I’m looking at them, and what I’m looking for. Are we gonna stand a stallion or two? Or are we just breeding from stud fees? Actually all that determines a lot of things.”

“Well what do you think would be better money wise?”

Stella’s heart stopped. She’d never been asked that kind of question before, and she certainly never expected John to ask her. “If I’m being transparent, there’s not much money to be made back in revenue that wouldn’t go back into the broodmares. With vet care and getting them artificially inseminated, constant appointments for them to be checked and after birth care, stud fees, if we send any yearlings to training.” Stella wracked her brain for all the information she’d gathered over the years working with Olivia. “There might be a little bit of money we might be able to scrape off the top depending on what the foals would sell for, but that’s why breeders, any reputable one anyhow, have their hands in a lot of pots at once if you catch my drift?”

“Because they make their consistent money stream from other partnerships and deals?” John asked.

“Exactly. It’s not a super profitable business. Unless you took the money from the sales of the foals or yearlings and flipped that into a different project of passive income, and used your other income for the care of the broodmares; I’m talking stud fees and vet care and the like. You might be able to scrape by with a little more.” She tapped on her leg, thinking.

“We would also have to make the Yellowstone broodmares marketable. There’s a lot that goes into this, Mr. Dutton. It’s not just breeding to breed. I would be extremely selective on who gets chosen for what. We would breed to better the breed. Not just because we’re trying to make a quick buck to save our ass from the fire. Whether it’s show horses or work horses, we should better the breed to make better show horses and better work horses for the future of the breed.”

There was a small smile on John’s face that put Stella on the edge of her seat. “What? Did I overstep?” Her cheeks reddened again.

John shook his head softly. “No. I just see it now.”

Stella eyebrows pulled together. “See what?”

“Well I’ve already witnessed the mean side, but the smart tenacity that both my sons and all my men stand for in you.”

“Ah thank you, but I’m just passionate about it. That’s all.” Stella shrugged.

“That’s good. Keep it. I’ll get back to you when I hear more from Travis. Might even have you and him talk. Until then, just help Kayce out as best you can.”

“Till my dying breath, sir.”

“That’s what I’m counting on. Now go ahead and go home for the day. I wanna see you working those couple horses tomorrow, ya hear?”

Stella smiled so wide the dimples in her cheeks almost split.

#yellowstone #kayce dutton #yellowstonetv #luke grimes #ian bohen #ryan #kayce dutton fan fiction #yellowstone fanfic #yellowstone fanfiction #beth dutton #jamie dutton #john dutton #kayce dutton fanfic

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spine-buster · 1 year

Text

Lost in the Memory | Ryan O'Reilly | Volume I

gif credit @/mitchmarner

A/N: Well, here it is...the first instalment of a very inspired plot bunny that appeared the day that ROR became a Leaf! Hope you all enjoy what is basically porn without plot :)

TW: sibling death

“We have an MLSE-owned condo that you can both go to take a few moments before the game – get that nap in – before coming back here.”

Ryan let Noel take it. He made up something on the spot, that he already owned a condo somewhere near here as an investment, and it was sitting empty, so he’d just go to that to get his pre-game nap in. Nobody was the wiser. After Noel was handed the keys to the condo, Ryan ordered an Uber to take him to Summerhill.

As he approached the front door of the original Victorian semi, he admired the bay-and-gable architecture that reminded him so much of the house the Napier kids grew up in. It was why Whitney loved it so much in the first place, and why Ryan bought it for her without giving it a second thought. Original stained-glass windows. Hardwood floors and trim. Original wood-burning fireplaces, still working after being built in the 1890s. Old but cozy. Grand but homey. Four bedrooms, just like there was in her house growing up, one for each of the kids, and of course one for her parents. Ryan could still remember where all the kids’ bedrooms were on the second floor, for various reasons.

Owen was the eldest Napier child, born in 1986 just like Cal. He was the smartest of all the Napier and O’Reilly kids too, save for probably Tara, and his job as a surgeon out in Kelowna proved it. He and Cal played a lot of hockey together, but when Owen decided to get serious about science, he quit. He and Cal drifted apart slightly, but they were still good friends and still kept in touch a lot. Tara came next in 1988, and Ryan and Gareth followed three years later in 1991, within weeks of each other. The two boys were inseparable, whether they were riding their bikes, on their skateboards or rollerblades or scooters, zooming down hills on toboggans – not to mention on the ice. They were always playing together on the same teams, until Ryan left for Toronto and then the OHL. But even then, Gareth would get himself to any game Ryan was playing that was even remotely close to their hometown. Whitney was born four years later in 1995. Owen and Gareth weren’t too excited to get a baby sister – they would have obviously preferred a brother – but Ryan still remembered the day she was brought home from the hospital. Shannon came in 1997, and the group was complete.

When Ryan got drafted, the Napier family were there celebrating with his. Even all of his foster siblings – almost 50 of them – loved the Napier family. When he was drafted and moved to Colorado, they’d make a trip with his parents once a year to watch him play. When he moved to Buffalo, they would drive down multiple times a year to catch a game and support him, knowing what he was going through there. His house was their house. Their house was his house. Their joys were his joys, and their tragedies were his tragedies.

He heard the door unlock. When it opened, he saw Whitney standing on the other side in a pair of Lululemon tights and a crop top. She seemed surprised to see him, even though they’d texted before he got on the plane.

“I thought you’d be taking your pre-game nap,” she said.

Ryan stepped into the house. He didn’t want to waste time. “I’ve got two hours until I have to be back at the arena,” he said, closing the door behind him and locking it without even looking.

In one swift movement, he wrapped an arm around Whitney and pulled her against his body. She let a giggle out. “We can get up to a lot in two hours, can’t we,” she whispered, her voice husky as she looked up at him. It was only then she realized he was wearing a stereotypical Canadian tuxedo, and she wasn’t holding up her end of the bargain. “And look at me. I’m not even wearing what I promised for you.”

“You know I don’t care about that right now. I like you better like this anyway,” his voice was just as husky as hers. His hands travelled down over her ass and he picked her up, just as he had countless times before, and she wrapped her legs around his torso, just like she had countless times before. There was no hesitation on either end when their lips and tongues met hungrily, not bothering with pleasantries or soft beginning kisses. That was for those who were unsure or perhaps didn’t know what they were doing, and Ryan and Whitney had been doing this for over ten years.

Ryan was big and strong. He always had been, even as kids – when he’d pick her up and carry her to her room kicking and screaming so he and Gareth could play video games in peace without her annoying them as kids; when he’d push her on the swing in the park and she’d go higher than all the other kids, making them jealous; when she wasn’t so little anymore and she’d pair up with him in pool fights where he’d let her get on his shoulders and he was as solid as concrete foundation. Hockey had only made him bigger and stronger. All the training he did throughout the year, and in the summers with his dad, only meant that his body was always overpowering in its size and stature, but not in a bad way. The first time they’d done this he’d been so gentle with her, but it only took until the second time for Whitney to want to feel his entire body against hers, and for him to use it to his full advantage (and to hers, if she was being honest). They hadn’t looked back since.

Ryan wasted no time carrying Whitney up the stairs, climbing them like it was nothing and leading her to her bedroom. When he placed her down on the bed, their lips didn’t even leave each other’s until she began to grasp at his jean jacket. “Take this off,” she breathed out. “I want to feel your body, Snook.”

Whitney pushed the jacket off his shoulders, and he tugged at the sleeves and pulled it off, throwing it off the bed. She snuck her hands underneath his top, the firmness of his body beneath her fingertips once again. It didn’t matter how many times it happened; it invigorated her every time. There was no other body on this earth that felt like Ryan’s – she was sure of that. And it didn’t matter if they were in bed, in the backseat of his car, in a pool or hot tub, or anywhere else, the feeling of his physical body so close to hers reminded her constantly that Ryan’s body was made for her, and her body was made for Ryan.

Before she could take off his shirt, Ryan began leaving a trail of kisses down her body, dragging his lips and tongue along areas until he pushed her crop top up, exposing her bra. “Take this off, baby,” he mumbled against her skin. “I need to see you.”

Whitney leaned forward so Ryan’s giant hands could slip underneath the fabric and pull her top off, and she followed quickly in pulling her sports bra over her head, lying back down on the bed with her arms above her head. When she felt Ryan clasping his hands over hers, applying pressure to keep them from moving, she grinded her hips up against his. “Fuck,” he let out quickly, quietly, biting his bottom lip. He crashed his lips against Whitney’s, sticking his tongue down her throat and causing her to mewl in pleasure, her hips grinding against his once more.

He could already feel himself getting hard – it never took long with Whitney. He moved down to her breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. Her little sighs and moans were what he got lost in; the same little sighs and moans he would think about when she was on the other side of the dinner table or deck in front of their friends or family and he couldn’t touch her like he could behind closed doors. The thought of them clouded his judgement so much sometimes that he’d tune out what everyone was saying around him and remember a time where he’d pinned her body under his and all they felt was ecstasy.

He began to place big, open-mouth kisses down her chest and stomach, getting achingly slow around her belly button. When he set her hands free, they immediately went to gathering the fabric of his shirt into her fists, pulling it off him quickly so they were both topless. His lips returned dangerously close to the waistband of her leggings. “Not now, Snook,” Whitney said. “Later. I want to feel you inside me. It’s been so long.”

Ryan could barely think straight. “Later?”

“Later,” she nodded, her hands moving down to the button and zipper of his jeans, unfastening them in record speed. “I need to feel you fill me up like you love to.”

She helped him wiggle out of his jeans, and he pulled her tights and underwear off. When he was back on top of her, he grabbed one of her thighs and hooked her leg around his torso. He squeezed at the flesh of her thighs, both their chests heaving up and down. “D’you still have your IUD?”

“Of course.”

The way Whitney closed her eyes as she felt Ryan enter her – every time – still got to Ryan – every time. The way her eyelashes fluttered, then closed shut, then the inhalation of breath. He could feel her nails digging into the skin on his shoulder blades. “Look at me,” he said, almost demanded. Whitney’s eyes fluttered open to do as she was told, even though he was still pushing himself inside her. “You look so beautiful under me like this,” he told her.

“You’re so good to me, Ry,” she called him the pet name only she was allowed. He was called Snook by his entire family. He was called Ryan by everybody else. But only Whitney could call him Ry. “God, you feel so good inside me.” By this point Ryan was fully inside her, basking in the feeling he knew all too well. With one of Whitney’s legs still hooked around his torso, he began moving in and out of her at a steady pace, making her eyes roll to the back of her head from the pleasure. She brought her hands around and cradled his face, her thumbs grazing over his lips. “You love having me like this, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Legs wide open, ready for you.”

“Yes.”

“Did you think about this when you were alone in St. Louis?”

She knew the answer to that question. She just wanted to hear him say how desperately he needed her. “Yes,” he huffed out, feeling her hips push into his again. “All the time.”

“Now that you’re in Toronto we can do this all the time,” she said. He watched as the slightest of smiles adorned her face, biting at her bottom lip. “You’ll be over a lot, won’t you Ry. Having me like this. Getting me on my hands and knees for you.”

The thought of it was heaven. If he could play hockey in Toronto and make love to Whitney in some sort of alternating schedule…well, that was his idea of paradise. “D’you need me like I need you?”

“Yes,” Whitney said without hesitation. “God Ry, you feel so good. Keep doing that. I want it to last as long as possible.”

Ryan grabbed her hands again, holding her wrists together above her head with just one hand. It was a while before he released them, and a while that they were back on his shoulder blades, digging deep into his skin. He couldn’t surmise how long they’d been going for, but he knew it had been a while, judging by the sweat on his body and how flushed red Whitney’s skin was, not to mention how puffy her lips were from all their kissing. He could feel himself getting close, and judging by the sighs and moans escaping Whitney, which he knew all too well, she was close too. “Look at me, Whit,” he said again, watching as she looked him in the eye.

“I want you to come inside me, Ry,” she breathed out. “Think about your cum in me while you win against the Habs.” He grunted at the thought. That would make him go crazy. “And when you get back home I’ll be waiting for you – waiting for you to fill me up again.”

Another loud grunt from him. She knew exactly what to say. “Fuckin’ love you, Whit.”

“Love you too Ry. Ever since we were kids.”

No more words were exchanged. Instead, laboured breaths, solid moans, and passionate cries filled the room until they came together, the feeling of Whitney tightening around his cock sending Ryan over the edge, and the feeling of Ryan coming inside of her, just as she wanted, sending Whitney over the edge too. He went for as long as he could, pumping in and out of her slowly as he felt her body shivering with pleasure, until even he was too tired. He collapsed onto her slowly, and she immediately wrapped her arms around his body, holding him close. They kissed for a while, slowly and passionately until they breathing returned to normal, with Ryan still inside her. Eventually, they lay together on their sides, holding each other.

Ryan’s eyes were getting droopy, and he was having a hard time staying awake. With the whirlwind 12 hours he’d just gone through, Whitney didn’t blame him. She began running her fingers through his hair, letting her nails massage his scalp. “Do you like how I redecorated the place?”

Ryan let out a tired smile. “Didn’t get to see it. But I bet it looks good. Not that my opinion matters.”

“Why not? You own the house.”

“I may have bought it but it’s your house,” he said. Her told her that all the time. He nestled his head into the crook of her neck, taking a deep breath in before exhaling. Whitney could feel his entire body relax in her arms, and she knew he was going to fall asleep any second. “I made a promise to your brother that I’d take care of you,” he continued, “and I’m not gonna break that promise.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d told Whitney that, either. “I know. I remember you saying that to Gareth as he lay in his casket.”

“I’ll always take care of you, Whit,” were Ryan’s last words before Whitney felt his breathing steady as he fell asleep.

Gareth passed away in the summer of 2013, when he was 22 years old. Whitney was just 18, about to move to Toronto and enter her first year of university at Ryerson to study communications. After hopping over to Russia, signing an offer sheet with Calgary, and then signing again with Colorado, Ryan was home early for the summer because the team hadn’t made the playoffs. Gareth, Ryan, and a bunch of their buddies had gone to the beaches near Goderich for a day of some fun and paddleboarding. One by one they had left, until Gareth was the only one. He was supposed to be back out again at 8 that night for a party, but he never showed up. That’s when everyone started to worry.

She remembered texting Ryan first, of course. They spoke every day.

did gareth go your house to get ready for that party?

i left the beach at 2 cuz i was getting sun stroke gareth was still there with jonesy, , john, ben, burnsy, and trent why?

he never came home he’s not answering his phone can you please come over ry

The specific details remained a blur to Whitney. She remembered little pockets of what happened, such as Ryan bursting through the front door. She remembered the kind police officer begging her and her parents to get some rest before the search resumed in the morning but being unable to, despite Ryan in her bedroom with her, holding her and rocking her back and forth, telling her that everything was going to be okay. She remembered not being able to stomach Bonnie O’Reilly’s broccoli chicken casserole even though it was one of her favourites. She remembered Ryan squeezing her hand under the table.

At some point, Whitney remembered hearing the worst news of her life: Gareth’s body had been found washed up on the shore of Lake Huron near Blue Water Beach and had been immediately transported to the hospital. So much water had gotten into his lungs that he’d developed an anoxic brain injury.

She remembered when she first stepped into his hospital room and felt physically sick by how many tubes he was hooked up to, including the ventilator. She remembered the doctors telling them that Gareth had drowned, that he was brain dead, and that they would have to make the choice as to when to remove the ventilator. They waited by his bedside for two days before Owen made it back from British Columbia.

On June 5th, at 3:30 in the afternoon, Gareth James Napier passed away.

Whitney doesn’t speak about his funeral.

***

When Ryan woke up an hour later, he and Whitney were still in the same position, nestled together in her bed. Her hand was still in his hair, their limbs entangled with one another’s. He groaned slightly, knowing that he had to leave but not exactly wanting to. He looked at his watch.

“You should take a shower before you leave,” he heard Whitney’s voice.

“Come with me.”

“Ryyyyyy,” she elongated his name, giggling slightly at the end. “You can’t have sex when you’re trying to wash the smell of sex off of you.”

“You said later, Whit,” his lips grazed against her skin. “It’s later.”

Whitney would never be able to forget how Ryan’s beard felt between her legs. After kissing and washing each other and Ryan eating her out within an inch of her life (seriously, he had to use his hands to hold her up because her legs turned into fucking jello and Ryan wasn’t about to let her fall in her own bathtub and get a concussion), they stood together at her front door, kissing, waiting for his Uber to arrive.

“We fly out to Chicago after the game, and then from there we fly to Buffalo,” he informed her in between kisses.

Whitney already knew. She’d looked up the schedule. “D’you want me to be in Buffalo, Snook?” she asked. He hesitated. “I can be there. I know it’s gonna feel…interesting for you.”

“I can let you know which hotel we’ll be in,” he acquiesced. “If—if you can even come that early. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Whit.”

“I don’t want you feeling alone in Buffalo. I know how much of a mindfuck it can be for you being there,” she wasn’t having any of it. “I can hang out with all the Leaf fans.”

He smiled. “I’m gonna have to get you a jersey.”

“Only if it has your name on the back,” she said, running her hands up and down his chest. “You can fuck me in it after.”

Ryan groaned, leaning his head down to kiss her. A car honked outside. “If you drive home fast enough that night, we’ll be able to. We won’t have to wait.”

Another kiss, this time more urgent. And another. And another. And another. “I’ll see you in Buffalo, Snook,” Whitney finally said her goodbye.

Another kiss. This time, Ryan bit her bottom lip between his teeth and pulled it along with him as he moved away. A soft mewl left Whitney’s lips. “See you in Buffalo.”

***

When Ryan played in Buffalo, Whitney would drive down to see him play. She wouldn’t tell anybody where she was going or what she was doing because it was their little secret. Sometimes she’d go just for a game and to be with Ryan afterwards, and she’d drive home the next morning to make it in time for her 10am class; sometimes if Ryan had a particularly long home stretch, she’d stay over longer and they would stay holed up in his house, making love in every room and on every surface imaginable. In between she would finish school work.

It wasn’t as frequent when Ryan first got to Buffalo. He’d signed a seven-year contract extension for an absurd amount of money – $52.5 million – and was putting up good numbers. But the team kept losing. And losing. And losing. It started to take a toll on him mentally. He’d call to talk with her and their conversations would last hours. Sometimes he’d get really emotional. Sometime he’d even cry, and her heart would break over the fact that he was feeling this way and she couldn’t be there to comfort him. He admitted to her long before he said it in the media that he’d felt like he lost the love of the game multiple times throughout the season. He didn’t need to say it in the media for her to know.

The most heartbreaking moment for Whitney came during a rainy night in Buffalo. It was her last night staying with Ryan until he had to leave for a whopping 14-day road trip with the team. He’d been grasping on to her the whole last day, as if she’d float away back to Toronto without saying goodbye. When they were cuddled in bed together, just kissing, she could feel fresh tears roll down his cheeks.

“What’s wrong, Snook?”

“What’s wrong with me, Whit? Why can’t I win? I—”

“Snook, you can’t put that pressure on yourself. The team doesn’t start and end with you—”

“First with Colorado, now with Buffalo…everywhere I go I feel like a cancer.”

Whitney remembered having a sick feeling in her stomach as Ryan said those words. She remembered wiping his tears away with her thumbs and with her kisses, begging him to realize he was worth so much more than what he thought. She remembered telling him over and over how much she loved him, hoping that it would calm him down, but it didn’t help much. He was too far into his own head. The next morning, as he showered and finished his packing, Whitney was scared to let go of him. She didn’t want him to leave. She didn’t want him to be away from her when he was so vulnerable. She made him promise to call her every day, even though they already spoke every day through text.

He kept his promise.

That summer, Ryan was traded to St. Louis. On the one hand, Whitney was sad because he wasn’t close anymore. There was no way she could just drive to see him so often now. On the other hand, she was happy he was traded out of a situation that made him lose his love of the game. She still visited him in St. Louis, but much less often. They still got up to their fun.

She parked in the same spot as she always did, and navigated the Keybank Centre like the back of her hand. She joined the legion of Leafs fans watching the warm-ups, getting as close to the glass as possible. She wasn’t wearing a Leafs jersey, so realistically, she’d stick out like a sore thumb. Despite her family being Leafs fans, she only ever wore Ryan’s jerseys.

Ryan saw her during warm up. Whitney knew he did because there was a cute little smile on his face for a few minutes, and there was a cute little smile on her face for a few minutes, watching him out there in a Leafs jersey shooting pucks and skating around. The days when her mother would haul her to arenas for Gareth and Ryan’s hockey games were long over, but the dream was alive for him: he was a Stanley Cup Champion. He was a Conn Smythe winner. And now he was a Toronto Maple Leaf. She only wished Gareth was here to see it all in person, even though she knew he was watching from above.

As she went to her seat after warm ups, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

You look beautiful.

She couldn’t help but smile.

Focus on the game you pervert.

She eventually took her seat, only about ten rows up from the ice. Barely four minutes into the game, she got her first gift: Ryan scored his first goal as a Toronto Maple Leaf. The only other time she thought she was as loud was when he won the Stanley Cup. A grand total of thirty-seven seconds later, he scored again.

Whitney knew she was going to be in for a hell of a game.

When he finished his hat trick at the end of the game, she cried a little. It was made all the more emotional by the fact they were in Buffalo – she had to admit that. But once the buzzer rang, and the Leafs won 6-3, she pulled out her phone instinctively, just as she had countless times before.

Leaving now. If you get home before me let yourself in. I’m so happy for you. And I’m so fucking excited for later.

It was when she got to her car that she received a reply. She thought he probably had to handle some post-game press which is why it took him so long.

That was for you. And you better be fucking excited.

***

At just before midnight, Whitney and Ryan’s lips crashed against one another’s in the privacy of her home. Their kisses were frantic, their hands, too. They almost knocked down the vase at the front entrance, and almost tripped going up the stairs to. But when they finally got to her bedroom, Whitney pushed Ryan to sit down on the edge of her bed. He watched as she dropped down to her knees in front of him.

She unbuttoned his pants and slid the zipper down expertly. She knew how to get into every pair of pants he wore. “You like what you see, Snook?”

“You know the answer to that,” he said, helping her wiggle his pants off of him. “You always look so pretty when you’re on your knees for me.” He brought his hands forward to cup her face, guiding her up slightly so he could place another sloppy kiss on her lips. “All that tonight was for you, baby,” he told her.

“You don’t have to butter me up Snook, I’m gonna suck your dick regardless.”

Ryan let out a chuckle. When he felt her hand over his growing length, he groaned slightly. He kissed her again. “You’re sweetness. That’s what you are, Whit. Sweetness.”

That was a nickname he had called her time and time again. And not just in bed. In the morning, when they would make coffee together; at dinner, when he was pouring her a glass of wine; when she was on the couch and he was in the kitchen as he would ask if she wanted more popcorn. The first time he called her that, they were still teens, and he was still using it to this day. Snook and Sweetness.

Whitney bit her bottom lip. “I don’t know if you should be calling me sweetness before what we’re going to do.” Ryan could feel his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he watched her free his dick from his underwear. She stroked him a few times before giving him one last look. “You wanna come down my throat?” she asked.

He nodded.

She licked the underside of his cock, causing him to hiss. She placed a few kisses along his head before she began sucking, only lightly, teasing him into oblivion. When she was satisfied with the number of curse words that left his mouth, without warning, she took more of his cock into her mouth. He leaned his head back in pleasure, and when he felt her take even more, a new string of expletives left his mouth. “God Whit, you’re so fucking good.”

She hummed in response, the vibration allowing for a new sensation. He could feel her swirl her tongue as he watched her bob her head up and down his shaft, taking more and more into his mouth with each passing moment. He pushed her hair out of her face and gathered it in his hands. He watched with eyes wide as she took all of him down her throat. He felt the back of her throat with the tip of his cock and grunted. She took him like that a few more times, with his help, his chest heaving up and down.

“Whit—”

“Hmmm?”

“Gimme your fingers.”

Whitney brought one of her hands up. Ryan grabbed it and brought it towards his mouth, sucking her index and middle fingers. He took them out of his mouth but kept them close, spitting on them before looking at her. “Touch yourself.”

Whitney whimpered at the command and did what she was told, sticking her hand down her underwear and placing them directly on her already wet pussy. She touched herself for a while as she kept taking Ryan’s cock down her throat again and again, even going so far as to spit on its head when she came back up once. Ryan couldn’t do anything else but curse, taking a while before he could finally formulate something else to say. “Look at me, Whit.”

She looked up at him with her beady eyes, popping his cock out of her mouth. “Yeah Ry?”

“You were fuckin’ made for me, you know that?” he huffed, bringing the hand that was in her hair around her face so he could wipe the spit off her lips with his thumb.

Whitney nodded quickly. “You were made for me too.”

“This pretty little mouth was made for me,” Ryan continued, “and your pretty little pussy too.”

“All for you,” Whitney agreed. “All for you.”

When Whitney continued sucking his dick, Ryan knew he was getting close. The moaning and sucking sounds definitely didn’t help, and he let Whitney know by saying it out loud. She took him all the way down to the back of her throat a few times more before Ryan bucked his hips and felt his hot cum release in her mouth and down her throat. He was gasping for air, his mouth wide open at the sensation; Whitney moaned in pleasure at the feeling and taste of him, as it had been so long since the last time. She continued to suck every last drop until she could feel his dick soften; only then did she finally stop.

Ryan pulled her up by gently tugging on her hair. His lips crashed on to hers and he pulled her body against his, falling onto the bed together. They wasted no time in removing each other of their clothes. When Whitney slid out of her underwear, Ryan got a look at how wet her pussy already was, covered in her own juices and his spit, and practically had a heart palpitation. “Come sit on my face, sweetness.”

She crawled over his body and sat on his face. He wrapped his arms around her thigs and pinned her down so she could barely move – just enough to grind if she wanted to, or if Ryan let her. It took no time at all for Ryan to start lapping at her pussy, starting with one long lick from bottom to top and sucking on her clit for good measure.

Whitney ran her hands through Ryan’s hair and gripped on to it. She knew she’d get beard burn, but she didn’t care – she wanted this to last as long as possible. Even though she was anticipating what would happen after this – all the positions they’d tangle themselves in, how many times he’d make her come, how much Ryan would leave her wanting more – the thought of Ryan between her thighs using only his tongue and lips to make her come was something she thought of way too often, especially on lonely nights when she was desperate to see him, or nights where they’d have phone sex and only her fingers could do. She had to have an active imagination because only the real thing – the real Ryan – could ever make her feel as good as he made her feel. Nothing was better than Ryan, because nothing or no-one loved her more than Ryan.

“Just like that, Ry,” she signed out, cupping her breasts in her hands and pinching at her nipples before having to grip the headboard.

“Tastes so fuckin’ sweet,” Ryan mumbled against the lips of her pussy, sucking at her clit right afterwards.

Her moans and mewls got louder. She knew her voice would be coarse tomorrow because of it – and he hadn’t even made her scream yet. That was still coming. She couldn’t help but tug on his hair and make him moan in the process. When she began grinding on his face slightly, she could feel his hands grip at her hips and help guide her – she knew she’d have marks there tomorrow, but she didn’t care.

After a while, when Whitney couldn’t hold it in any longer, she cried out his name over and over again as she came on his face, her entire body shaking on top of him. The only reason why she didn’t completely collapse was the headboard and Ryan’s strong hands. Eventually she shifted her body down, so she could see Ryan’s face, only to see that it was wet and covered in her juices.

“Holy fucking shit,” she blurted.

“I’m ready t—"

Ryan didn’t get to finish his sentence. Whitney acted fast, crashing her lips onto his so she could taste herself on his face. “Holy fuck,” she mumbled in between kisses.

“See how good you taste? How sweet?” Ryan mumbled in between kisses. “I could get drunk on you. I could eat you out all fucking night.”

“Tell me how you want me, Ry.”

“Get on your hands and knees.”

Whitney inhaled sharply. She did as she was told. She always did with Ryan. So did he. That’s what made everything so…nice. That’s what made everything so unbelievable. She faced away from him, but she could feel him watching her, getting a full look of how ready she was for him. When she felt him grab her hips again, she readied herself to feel his cock deep inside her pussy.

Instead, she felt Ryan’s body hover over hers. She closed her eyes, oblivious to what was going to happen next, until she could feel him placing light kisses at the back of her neck and across her shoulder blades. He was taking his time, being gentle, savouring the moment before they lost themselves into each other. “I love you, Whit,” he whispered into her ear.

“I love you too Snook,” she said.

“I’ve loved you forever.”

Whitney took another deep breath. He kissed along her ear. She turned her head so they could make eye contact. “It doesn’t feel like this with anyone else.”

“I know. It doesn’t.”

“I only ever feel like this with you, Ry. Nobody else can make me feel good like you do.”

“Same, Whit.”

There was a moment of silence between them, knowing what was about to happen. “Will you fuck me how you know I like it?” Whitney asked, her voice as sweet as how she tasted.

Ryan didn’t bother to answer. He continued his soft kisses down her spine instead, before placing a final kiss at the base of it and grabbing her hips. He could tell how giddy she was in anticipation. “Face down, ass up, sweetness.”

Whitney whimpered just at the command. In one swift movement she moved her body, and before she could say anything else, she felt Ryan’s cock teasing at her entrance. He was going to make her beg because she loved to beg, because she asked him to fuck her the way she liked it and this is how she liked to be fucked. She liked every way with him, but special moments like this deserved something special, and he was going to give it to her. When they made love, like the afternoon he arrived in Toronto…that was different. It was soft, and it was passionate, and it was the physical encapsulation of the conversation they’d just had, but what was about to happen next was anything but.

“Tell me how much you need me, sweetness.”

“I need your cock, Ry. Fill me up,” she begged.

“Beg. Beg.”

Whitney bit at her bottom lip. “Please Ry, pleeeease. I need to feel your cock inside me. I need you to fill me up. I need you so bad, Ry. I need what only you can give me.”

Ryan entered her in one swift movement, and her pussy was so slick that he slid right in and bottomed out. Whitney cried out in pleasure, and it didn’t take long for him to start pounding in and out of her, hearing her get louder and louder as he became rougher. Instinctively she would try to rise every so often, and Ryan would push her back down, making her cry out even louder for how he was controlling her pleasure. At some points, even her knees began to buckle and spread from under her, bringing her closer to the bed, and Ryan would have to pull her hips back up. He’d lost track at how many times he felt her walls tighten around his pulsating cock, lost track at how many times she cried out his name.

He pulled her hair so that her body was flush against his chest, bringing one hand around to tease her clit, and another to wrap itself at the base of her neck. He wasn’t choking her, because she didn’t like that, but this was their alternative. She brought her own hand up and placed it over his, trying as best as possible to intertwine their fingers.

“Fucking hell, Ry,” Whitney managed to get out. “Feels so fucking good.”

“D’you love it when I fuck you like this?”

“Yes. Fuck yes.”

“Tell me how good it feels. Use your words, sweetness.”

Whitney couldn’t believe him. She also couldn’t believe she would oblige. “You feel so fucking big,” she began, heavy breaths punctuating every thought. “You stretch me out, and my pussy…my pussy feels so full. I can’t wait until you come inside me. Can you feel how wet my pussy is?”

“How many times did you come?”

“I—I don’t know. I always lose count with you.”

Ryan leaned back and took Whitney with him, so she was lying down on top of him with one hand at the base of her neck and another on her pussy, his cock still buried deep in her. “Ry—”

“Take it Whit. Take it like the good girl you are for me.”

Though he couldn’t see it, Whitney’s eyes rolled to the back of her head as Ryan pumped in and out of her in this new position, hitting an angle that was sending her even quicker over the edge than before, which she didn’t think was possible. “Ry…Ry…fuck Ry…” her nails dug into the back of his hand. Her heartbeat was out of control.

She didn’t even know how much time had passed in that position – how could she? – before she heard Ryan utter the magic words. “I’m fucking close, Whit.”

“I wanna face you when you come, Ry. Can you—”

Before she knew what was happening, he slid out of her and got on top of her. Though she whimpered at the loss of his cock inside her, he spread her legs and hiked one around his torso and entered her again. Though it felt like she had been having just one continuous orgasm for the last several minutes, she was desperate to feel him come inside her, to feel one last wave of pleasure throughout her body. They looked each other in the eye; Whitney could see a fire in his that he reserved only for her.

“Tell me how much you need me, Whit,” he huffed.

“I need you more than anything, Snook,” she told him, because it was the truth.

“Am I the only one that gets to come inside of you?” he demanded.

“Yes,” she bit her bottom lip. “You’re the only one. The only one that gets to come in pussy, because it’s all yours, Ry. All yours.”

He buried his face into the crook of her neck, thrusting into her so forcefully that she cried out his name over and over. When she felt him come inside her, she grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck. Her finally orgasm rushed throughout her entire body like a title wave, hers and Ryan’s breathing the only thing to be heard in the bedroom. His breathing was so frantic it almost sounded high-pitched, almost like he was going through an asthma attack. His face was still buried in the crook of her neck as he collapsed on top of her. When he rolled over to the side, his cock left her pussy for the first time (for more than, like, five whole damn seconds) in what felt like hours. Whitney’s body was still shivering from her orgasms. Ryan was having a hard time catching his breath.

It was a few minutes before either of them felt even 0.0001% semblance of normalcy. Ryan was the first to look over at Whitney, who was still staring up at the ceiling. “Are you okay, Whit?” he asked.

“I’m better than okay,” she whispered – it was the loudest her voice could get.

Ryan couldn’t help but smile. “Ready for round two?”

Whitney whipped her head to the side to look at him, only to see him smirking and giggling like a little school girl. “I don’t think I’ll have a voice tomorrow. I don’t even think I’m going to be able to walk tomorrow,” she chastised.

“C’mere,” he mumbled, outstretching his arm so she could roll into his body. When she was tucked into him, he placed a kiss on her forehead. “Thank you for being in Buffalo tonight.”

“It was nothing,” she said. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

“I love you, Whit.”

“I love you too, Snook.”

***

There was a long road trip coming up to the west coast. Seattle, Edmonton, Calgary, Vancouver, and then to New Jersey, before finally coming home again to face Edmonton during a Hockey Night in Canada. This meant that Friday was a good a time as ever for Ryan’s parents and Whitney’s parents to drive to Toronto to watch the game against Minnesota. Ryan had secured them tickets and access to the family room – as family members, of course. Whitney would have to be on her best behaviour.

They all had lunch earlier that day, before Ryan usually went down for his pre-game nap. Whitney met up with the parents at their hotel before the game, getting her friends and family pass from her mom before she walked with them to the arena. After giving their names and passes to a man named Omar, they were led to the family lounge, where there was at least half of the women Whitney assumed to be the partners of the men on the team. There weren’t any parents around, though, which Whitney thought would make them stick out like a sore thumb.

They weren’t there long before Whitney noticed a woman balancing a toddler on her hip approaching them with a big smile.

“Hello! You must be the O’Reilly family?” she asked.

“That’s us! And friends!” Brian said.

“It’s very nice to meet you. Welcome to the Toronto Maple Leafs!” she extended her free hand to shake everyone’s. “I’m Aryne Tavares, John’s wife, and this is my son Axton.”

Bonnie waved at him and he waved back. “We’re the O’Reillys,” she pointed at herself and her husband, “and these are our friends and neighbours, James and Alice Napier and their daughter Whitney. Whitney and Ryan grew up together.”

“Come take a seat, please – Ryan mentioned to John that you were all coming tonight. Can we get you any food? Whitney, follow me, you can meet some of the partners…”

It was a bit of a blur for Whitney, if only because she was meeting so many people associated with the players on the team that it was hard to keep track of them all. She met Bee McTavish, who was getting married to Morgan Rielly this summer; Aberdeen Bloom, who was with William Nylander (Whitney had read her book and had loved it); and Lusine, who was with Rasmus Sandin (Whitney didn’t think there’d be anyone younger than her present, but lo and behold). This sort of situation had happened before in Colorado and Buffalo, where things went normally, and in St. Louis, where things went a bit…differently, but Whitney was glad to say this was normal. They were all very nice, very welcoming, very talkative.

St. Louis hadn’t been like this. The first time she’d met the team, it was much less formally – at one of the guys’ raucous birthday parties she just happened to be in town for. Most of the guys were nice, albeit buzzed, but they were manageable. Jordan Binnington and his hands definitely weren’t, and he had a hard time taking no for an answer until Ryan had to step in. While that was long in the past, whenever it was brought up or remembered, Ryan still got angry about it. The anger didn’t come from a place where he though he owned Whitney or that she was his and no-one else’s – it was because Jordan was just downright disrespectful, from his words to his intentions to his actions. Ryan had been nothing but respectful to everyone his entire life, and he couldn’t fathom acting like Jordan towards anyone.

It was when Whitney emerged from the washroom during the intermission between first and second period that things got interesting. Everybody had been so nice, and then she saw Bee McTavish waving to get her attention. “Is everything okay?” Whitney asked.

“Aryne said Bonnie told her you and Ryan grew up together?” she wanted to clarify.

“Yeah,” Whitney nodded. “He’s known me since I was a baby.”

Bee looked around, over both shoulders, before she lowered her voice. “It’s Aberdeen’s birthday tomorrow, but since the boys are leaving for Seattle, we’re having her birthday party tonight,” Bee explained. “Lusine and I spent an hour decorating her place for a surprise birthday before we got here. You and Ryan should come! Get you away from your parents if you want.”

Whitney didn’t know what to say. It was the first time she was meeting everyone and they were already inviting her out? This was probably the nicest group of women she’d ever met. “Oh my God, that’s so – that’s so kind of you, but please, if this is a friends thing, please don’t feel obligated—”

“Oh my gosh, don’t even start,” Bee cut her off. “It’s nothing serious, and we would love to have you. I’m sure Ryan will love to get to know the boys even better in an informal setting, away from hockey.”

Whitney couldn’t help the smile that overtook her face. “I’ll ask him when we see them, but I’m pretty sure he’ll say yes…if only to get away from having to entertain his parents on a Friday night,” she winked.

“Boomers in the big bad city,” Bee joked.

“Nah – Brian and Bonnie are actually from Toronto. They’ll be fine. They may actually know a bar to go to.”

***

It was almost one in the morning before Ryan and Whitney called it a night at Aberdeen’s surprise “Quarter Century” birthday party. While they could have stayed longer, they promised their parents brunch at 11 the next morning before Ryan had to leave for the airport. They weren’t in for a long drive up to Summerhill, thankfully, because the second that they were in the elevator, away from the condo, Ryan grabbed Whitney’s hand.

“You know what I remembered tonight?” Whitney asked as they emerged from the parking garage.

“What’s that?”

“Remember when Binner was flirting with me?”

Ryan rolled his eyes, but not in an annoyed way – in an angry way, which – if Whitney was being honest – was the exact reason she brought it up. She wanted a little bit of heat to fester while they were in the car. “What about it?”

“Just how bad the flirting was,” she cracked a joke. “He wasn’t even being subtle about it.”

“Whit—”

“Remember how you had to talk to him and got angry with him?”

“He deserved it,” Ryan said simply. “I never got over it, by the way. I’m still angry with him about it.”

“He helped you win a Stanley Cup,” she deadpanned.

“Doesn’t matter. He disrespected you and made you feel uncomfortable. He doesn’t deserve forgiveness for making you feel that way.”

There was a moment of silence between them, with only the sound of the rubber tires moving along the road filling the void. Whitney’s hand snuck across the dash and landed on Ryan’s thigh, squeezing it gently. “You never told me what you said to him, you know.”

He moved his hand to grip her thigh. “Come on, Whit.”

“Come on, Snook,” she countered, raising her hand higher on his thigh, dangerously close to his member.

She watched as Ryan bit his tongue, and it had nothing to do with how high her hand was. She knew he was having one of his small internal battles. “I just told him to knock it off. That I didn’t like how he was treating you. You clearly weren’t interested and what bothered me was that he wasn’t taking no for an answer. He told me he bet you were used to it and that’s when I kind of lost it on him. Told him that you weren’t, and that if he was gonna keep doing that, I’d knock his teeth down his throat.”

Whitney couldn’t help but smile. “Was that before or after he put his hands on me and pulled me in to sit on his lap?”

Okay, now Ryan was getting angry. Remembering the thought of seeing Jordan’s hands on Whitney, in places where Ryan knew only his hands had been, sent him spiralling. Pulling her onto his lap, like some kind of dog – Ryan had steam coming out of his ears that night. “I fuckin—I can’t—I think it was after,” he honestly couldn’t remember. The anger clouded his memory. “All I remember is wanting to give him a black eye. Dad always said no violence and I’ve never wanted to punch a guy until then.”

Whitney didn’t know why, but she loved hearing all of this. She loved hearing about how upset Ryan got, what he said to Jordan, everything. It wasn’t that it made her feel wanted or valued – she always did with Ryan, so that wasn’t an issue. And it wasn’t because she generally disliked Jordan – although that was a perk. But she felt herself getting hotter with each passing second. “You hated it because I belong to you, right?” she prompted, her voice low and not suggestive at all. She saw Ryan hesitate to go down this road, and more than a few moments of silence passed between them. She squeezed his thigh softly. “You can say it Ry. It’s okay.”

“I don’t think…” he hesitated again. “You don’t belong to anyone, Whitney. I don’t like that.”

“Okay,” Whitney nodded slightly, her voice sober. So she struck out on that one – that was fine. “Sorry, Snook.”

“You don’t have to apologize, sweetness.”

Another few moments of silence. Whitney noticed some recognizable shops, so she knew they were close to home. She removed her hand from his thigh and placed it over his, which was still resting comfortable in her lap. She made sure their fingers intertwined before moving it up. “Remember when we were kids and we used to getaway in your car for hours?”

Did he. Ryan could still vividly remember the first time they hooked up in his car. For years there had been such charged energy between them that Ryan didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, this was his best friend’s younger sister. On the other hand, he quite literally couldn’t keep himself away from her. And that wasn’t even mentioning the fact that they literally grew up together. It began with instances like Whitney sitting beside him on an old porch swing one night, where Ryan felt like his body was on fire. It continued to other instances, like when they were playfighting in the pool one night and Ryan couldn’t get out at the same time because…he had something to hide. Then, later that summer, Whitney and Ryan shared their first kiss. It almost didn’t happen, because Ryan was convinced Gareth would be lurking in a bush ready to kick his ass, but they were safe. From the moment he felt Whitney’s lips on his, he was a goner. He knew that there would be nothing else like it. They kissed more than a few times after that, and each one was their little secret. It progressed to Whitney and Ryan texting each other in secret. Nobody knew about the kisses. Nobody knew about the pictures she was sending him, either. Not nudes, but suggestive enough.

When Ryan came back the following summer, things were cranked up to 1000. Gareth wasn’t around as often because of his summer courses (though he was still around quite a bit), and Owen had already moved to British Columbia, which meant that unless Ryan and Gareth’s friends were around, when they were alone, Ryan and Whitney got into a lot of trouble. Kisses turned to makeout sessions – on couches, in his bed, on her bed. Then makeout sessions on couches or beds turned into makeout sessions in Ryan’s car, when they’d drive to Goderich together to watch the sunset over the lake but end up not seeing the sunset at all. Kisses and makeout sessions turned into touching, too. Lots of touching. Whitney could still remember what it felt like the first time Ryan’s hand snuck underneath her sundress and in between her legs. Ryan could still remember what it felt like the first time Whitney zipped down his pants and snuck her hand beneath his underwear.

They were supposed to be watching the sunset one night when Whitney made the suggestion that they have sex. Ryan was against it at first, coming up with any excuse he could. “You’re my best friend’s younger sister” was the obvious one. “You’re barely seventeen” was his other, more plausible excuse. Whitney didn’t care; she didn’t care that he was older and she didn’t care about his excuses. He was the safest, most natural, most responsible, most loving choice. All the boys at school were gross little perverts, and here was Ryan, who had always looked after her, who was always asking if he could stick his hand down her pants, always asking if he could grope her boobs. Most of all, she wanted it because she knew he loved her. There was no way it could be with anyone else. She wanted him so badly that it was driving her insane. But then there was a moment when Ryan looked into Whitney’s eyes and everything changed. They weren’t desperate – far from it. They weren’t even pleading. Instead, what he saw in her eyes was everything he loved about her, all the memories they shared growing up together, all the times they had each other’s back when they broke a vase or had some unexplained bruise or fed their vegetables to the Napier’s dog, Cinnamon.

And so, as the sun set over Lake Huron, in Ryan’s car, they had sex.

And they hadn’t stopped since.

“Of course I remember,” Ryan said. He made a right-hand turn onto the street. Whitney knew it would only be a minute or so until he pulled into her small driveway. “I—I always remember those times. Those were some of my favourites.”

Whitney squeezed his hand again. She was wearing pants, but when she guided Ryan’s hand between her thighs, he could feel her core. “They’re some of my favourites, too.”

“Why are they for you?” Ryan asked.

Whitney took a moment to collect her thoughts. “I—it’s gonna sound weird, Snook.”

He gave her a look from the driver’s seat. “I spit in your hand the other night and told you to touch yourself. We’re past the point of weird, sweetness.”

Whitney couldn’t help but snort. He was right, that was for damn sure. “I’ve always thought you were attractive. Like, once I hit puberty, I found myself only being attracted to you, or, like, trying to find guys that looked like you so it wasn’t you because I thought it was wrong at first. And so when we started hooking up, for me, it was a lot about the emotions, sure, but more so about, like…the physical. Like…your body, Snook. Just…your entire body is just so big and strong, and when you’d hover over me or I’d get to run my hands along your back or your chest, I just couldn’t get enough of your body. There’s always been something so visceral about your body to me. So remembering back to the first time I got to touch it…God, I could make myself come right now just thinking about it.”

Ryan stayed silent for a few moments, taking in everything Whitney had to say. “For me,” he began slowly, “it’s some of my favourite memories because I—you—you were always just a ray of light. Like so many people got moody and pretentious, but you didn’t. You matured and whatever, but you still experienced joy. Every day wasn’t the end of the world for you. You saw every day as a chance to experience joy.”

Whitney was smiling. “I talk about you like a hot piece of ass, and you talk about me in the most beautiful way.”

“You were always a handsy kid,” Ryan joked. He finally turned into her driveway, parking the car and turning it off. “But your body was just as enticing, sweetness. I still remember the first time I touched you too. How your body responded immediately. Just like now,” his voice was getting lower and lower, his eyes focusing on his hand between her thighs.

Whitney leaned over the centre console first, kissing Ryan sweetly. Their lips couldn’t leave one another’s, and eventually, Whitney began climbing over to get into Ryan’s lap. He pushed his seat all the way back so they would be more comfortable. His hands immediately went underneath her top as they continued kissing, and everything felt back like it did in Goderich, on the coast of Lake Huron. From the kissing to the touching to the windows fogging up.

With Ryan’s hands over her breasts, Whitney felt overwhelmed – but in the best way. “Make love to me here, Snook. Just like we used to,” she breathed out.

“Yeah? You want it?” Ryan asked.

She nodded. “I want it. I want you, Ry.”

Somehow, Ryan helped Whitney out of her pants. Then, somehow, she pushed his down too, sticking her hand down his underwear to free his cock. His hand travelled down between her legs, teasing at her lips and causing her to moan. “You remember the first time I touched you like this?” Ryan asked. Whitney nodded her head. “You remember how you were squirming in my lap?”

“I was trying to get your fingers deeper.”

Ryan giggled. “Your entire body was shaking when I touched you.”

“Because I couldn’t believe you were,” she said. “Things I had dreamed about for so long were happening.”

Ryan pushed a finger ever-so-slightly into Whitney’s pussy, causing her to catch her breath. “What else did you dream about?”

“It—it started with you kissing me. Then I would dream about your hand or your mouth on my pussy,” she explained as they looked each other in the eye. “The first time I dreamt of us having sex, I woke up in the middle of it and I was touching myself.”

“Fuck Whit, you never told me that before.”

“Did you ever dream about me, Snook?”

“All the time,” he nodded. “Still do, sweetness.”

“What do you dream about?”

“Most of the time it’s burying my face in your sweet pussy,” he began, pushing his finger further into her. “Can I tell you a secret, sweetness?”

“Yeah?”

“Sometimes, when it’s been long since we’ve seen each other, I dream about something as simple as holding your hand.”

Whitney couldn’t help but smile. He called her sweetness, but he was sweetness personified. He said things like that all the time, and it didn’t matter what it was, but Whitney would fall for it every time. He was so sentimental. “Make love to me Snook.”

He guided his cock to her entrance and she lowered herself on top of him, gasping at the angle that he was entering her, especially since they were so close physically. It took her a few moments to get used to the feeling. This wasn’t the first time they had hooked up in a car since they were horny teenagers, but it had definitely been a while. “You feel so good, Whit,” Ryan huffed, gripping at her hips.

“Can you do me a favour?” she asked, opening her eyes and finally focusing back on him.

“What’s that?”

“Can you kiss me here?” she asked sweetly, moving her hair out of the way and pointing to her jawline.

Ryan smiled. “Of course,” he mumbled, already moving forward to place kisses exactly where she wanted them. She grabbed onto the backrest right by his shoulders.

“And here,” she pointed to her neck, causing Ryan to move down.

She began moving in his lap, slowly, running a hand through the hair at the nape of Ryan’s neck. He moved back up to her lips and they kissed for a while, Ryan’s tongue down her throat and hands squeezing her hips. She didn’t want this to end quickly, so she didn’t move quickly, either. There was something so intimate about the moment, despite them being in the front seat of a car. Reminiscing on their memories right before this must have been the kicker. Ryan was just as gentle then as he was being now, except now they both knew what they were doing.

“Ry?” she pulled away so they could look each other in the eye.

“Hmm?”

“D’you love me?”

“Of course I love you,” he said, kissing her right afterwards. “D’you love me?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “It’s only ever been you, Ry.”

He hummed in happiness. “It’s always about you for me.”

Whitney leaned forward, giving him small, light kisses along his jawline and neck before moving up to his ear. “Tell me I’m yours, Ry.”

“You’re mine, sweetness,” he huffed into her ear. “All mine.”

“All yours,” she repeated. She didn’t belong to him – that he made clear – but she was his, and he was hers. “Look at me, Ry.”

He did. His eyes were so blue, Whitney thought that the oceans were captured in his eyes. They were always like that, but when he grew the dark beard, they somehow became even more prominent. “You’re so beautiful, sweetness,” he said. “I’ve never seen a more beautiful girl in my life.”

Whitney couldn’t help but smile. While fucking Ryan was out of this world, making love to Ryan was the best. While fucking felt so good, and so satisfying, and always left them wanting more, making love brought an emotional fulfillment neither could get from anyone else. “Your girl.”

“My girl,” he kissed her passionately. The windows had fogged up so much, but their pair continued kissing anyway, Whitney’s grinding in his lap giving them more and more pleasure slowly but surely.

Whitney moved to kisses along his jaw when she felt herself getting close. “I want to feel you come inside me, Ry. Will you do that for me?” she whispered.

“Anything for you, sweetness,” he tightened his grip on her hips.

She didn’t move any faster, but she could feel Ryan guiding her back and forth. They were looking into each other’s eyes the entire time as they got closer and closer to their release. It seemed as if even their breaths were in sync, huffing out laboured breaths until Whitney became louder and louder. When he came inside her, Ryan could feel her legs shake in his lap, the moans escaping her as she nestled into the crook of his neck. “Oh fuck Ry…” she didn’t know what else to say, couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Was that what you wanted, sweetness?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “It was just like when we used to sneak away to Bluewater Beach.”

Ryan smiled again, and he knew Whitney was smiling too. He slipped out of her, but they stayed embraced for a while longer before they began to feel the cold permeate the car. “Let’s go to bed, Whit.”

She sighed, knowing she’d have to get off his lap. She looked him in the eye one last time before resolving to climb off him and back into the passenger’s seat. “Will you hold me?”

“I’ll do anything you want me to,” Ryan promised.

They redressed and rushed inside, desperate not to feel the cold night air for too long. Whitney washed off her makeup and Ryan got ready for bed, lying in bed in his boxers with the blanket open until Whitney slipped in. He made sure to set his alarm for 9:30 before outstretching his arms and having Whitney cuddle in to him. Just like he promised, he held her as they fell asleep.

“I love you, Snook,” Ryan heard Whitney say, barely above a whisper, right before she fell asleep.

“I love you too, Whit,” he responded, placing a small kiss on her shoulder.

***

“She was very nice,” Bee said to Aberdeen as she helped load the dishwasher of all the glasses used for the surprise party. “She was mentioning how she and Ryan grew up together in Seaforth. She’s got two older brothers, and Ryan’s got three other siblings, and they’re all best friends.”

“That’s so nice,” Aberdeen said, slightly buzzed, trying to hide from Bee that she was going to lose her balance any minute. She gripped on to the counter top for dear life. “Did you watch them at all? See anything fishy?”

Bee furrowed her brows. “Uh…no? Why? Did you?”

Aberdeen shrugged her shoulders, a playful grin playing on her face. “I don’t know what’s going on, but they’re not just friends.”

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ya-pucking-nerd · 9 months

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a lake house love story - r.graves

It’s here!! Summer fic exchange 2k23!! @thomasschabot it’s me hi I’m the problem it’s me (: So many apologies to go out. Sorry to @wyattjohnston because I actually suck at deadlines. #5dayslate Sorry to @thomasschabot because I had an idea for a fic, wrote it out, decided I hated it, deleted it, then didn’t write anything until July 20 (: But in all seriousness, I do hope that you love this fic

Also Ryan definitely did not get traded to Pittsburgh, it simply did not happen. If I don’t look at it, it’s not there.

No warnings, just teeth rotting fluff

Word count 1889

Spring break at Rutgers University was so anticipated because of the time of the year. Most people were tired of the snow and chill, so the need to be down in the Florida sun was almost overwhelming. But, Grace loved the chill. She was from upstate New York. She burned in the sun, and it made her nauseous thinking about spending all day in the heat. So, she decided with her friends to take a trip to Crane Mountain. They invited all of their friends, and friends of friends to help offset the cost. It ended up becoming a trip of her 9 friends plus 16 more guests.

Grace was excited. Being back in upstate New York might offset the slight homesickness she felt. Grace and her best friend Maria were planning on sharing a room and bed. Everyone was paired up and then a few people were going to take the couches.

The group left on Friday afternoon, planning on staying 10 days. The drive didn’t take too long, though her legs were grateful to be free after being cramped up in a car for so long. She took in her surroundings, then took in the beautiful cabin they were going to stay in. The cabin’s background was even more picturesque. Rolling hills surrounded the cabin along with several other cabins where fellow hikers and visitors were staying. She grabbed her bag and joined Maria to quickly claim a room. They were already sharing a bed, so they wanted the opportunity to get first pick so they’d at least get the biggest bed.

Grace had never met most of the group she was traveling with. And she felt almost certain that some of them weren’t even college students. Despite her slight discomfort, Grace was determined to have a good time. Spring break meant no worries about school. Her senior year was coming to an abrupt close, and she just needed this break to find her peace again.

Her face kind of fell when Maria informed her that almost every room besides the master was filled with two beds, so they’d be sharing the room with at least one other person. They would simply have to make do. They spent the next half hour unpacking their necessities while waiting for someone to discover that all the rooms were taken except this one.

In walked a 6’5” man who looked just as startled as Grace and Maria. “Sorry, everywhere else is full. I can take the couch if you want…” he trailed off. Maria started to tell him to get the heck out of their room, but Grace grabbed her hand. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. She didn’t even know his name, but she held out her hand.

“I’m Grace. You can have the bed, just if you need to change, use the bathroom. And let us use this room to change.”

“I’m Ryan. And I can definitely do that. Thanks.”

Maria gave Grace the “what are you thinking” look, and if she was being honest, she wasn’t quite sure what she was thinking. She thought he was attractive, and why shouldn’t she get to spend the next 10 days looking at him?

Grace decided to explore the property a bit more. She slipped on a jacket just in case the air turned chilly while she was out. She started down the path towards the pond. She definitely wanted to make good use of it. There was a paddleboard rental station close by. She just knew that would be the most perfect place to watch the sunset. There were so many hiking trails to explore, and the group was planning on taking a sunrise hike at least once.

She came back from exploring and found that some of the guys in the group started on dinner. It smelled so delicious, and she took a seat near the end of the table. Since she didn’t know many people, she figured she could sit with Maria. But Ryan had other plans for her that evening. He grabbed the seat to her left, and shot her a smile while grabbing some dinner rolls. He held one out to her, and she was so shocked, she didn’t take it right away.

“Earth to Grace? Sorry, I just know how hectic this bunch can get when it comes to food, and I wanted you to get a dinner roll before they all disappear,” he laughed. Maria decided to walk in at that moment, and upon seeing Grace with Ryan, she sat on the opposite end of the table. But to her surprise, Grace didn’t even notice. She felt at ease with Ryan, which isn’t a thing that normally happens. They talked all through dinner, like it was just the two of them, not a room of 25 people.

Dinner moved into the backyard of the cabin where a fire was slowly starting to burn. Adirondack chairs and blankets littered the grass around the fire and mini-conversations carried on from dinner. Grace and Ryan moved out onto a blanket further away from the fire to keep their conversation private.

“So how did you get invited on this trip?” Grace asked.

“One of my buddies is dating a girl that was invited on the trip, and he asked if I would come so he could know someone else. Funny thing is, I haven’t seen him since the ride up here. And they took the room with one bed, so I couldn’t crash with them.” He was a bit sheepish about his last statement. “But, I’m glad they did, ‘cause I wouldn’t have met you.”

“I’m glad to have met you, too.”

The night carried on until Grace and Ryan realized they were the last two outside. They giggled and snuck inside, trying their best not to wake anyone up. He kept his promise, changing in the bathroom while Grace changed in their room.

Grace climbed into bed with Maria, but quickly realized that this arrangement would not work. Maria was a small girl, but a huge bed hog. She left Grace about nine inches of mattress to work with. Grace tried to make all nine inches count, but she just couldn’t. She silently resigned herself to sleeping on the floor. She threw her blanket onto the floor as a makeshift area. She found her second blanket and took a pillow from under Maria’s head. It wasn’t the world’s comfiest bed, but it would do.

In the middle of the night, she heard Ryan get up to use the bathroom, but she quickly fell back asleep.

In the morning, Grace woke up in a bed. She was so startled, she jolted up. Taking in her surroundings, she saw Maria in their bed, and she saw her blankets on the floor. And Ryan in them. She was in Ryan’s bed. At first she felt horror, but then it changed to awe. Ryan must have pulled her up and sacrificed his back. She had no idea why.

She gently nudged him with her foot. “Ryan,” she whispered. He grunted softly, but turned towards her. After he wiped the sleepiness from his eyes, he looked at her with the biggest puppy-dog eyes. Grace had to admit, it was pretty adorable.

“I just didn’t want you to have a sore back. I saw you on the floor, and I just couldn’t leave you there.” He was sheepish, but she knew he would do it again.

“But what about your back?” Grace was still fighting the sleepiness in her voice, which made it a little raspy. She hoped that Ryan would say something like “I’ll be fine.” Instead, he completely surprised her by saying, “You keep the bed. I’ll take the couch. I definitely can’t sleep every night on the floor, but you deserve a bed.”

“What? No. Ryan, this is your bed. Last night, Maria was just being a bed hog, and I didn’t want to push her over. It’ll be better tonight and for the rest of the trip.”

Over the next few nights, it kept happening. After a fun day of whatever activities, Grace and Ryan ate dinner together, sometimes with Maria, and then they would be the last to turn in for bed, thus Grace would find Maria being a bed hog. She would swear up and down to Ryan that she was fine taking the floor, but she’d always wake up in a bed and Ryan was always on the floor.

On the last night, Grace and Ryan were talking on the Adirondack chairs again, talking about how much it was going to suck going back to their real lives.

“You’re a university student, right? Where do you go?” Ryan asked. He was sipping a beer, feet kicked up onto the table in front of them. He looked like a dream.

“I am. I go to Rutgers, the Newark campus. It’s been so great, but I’ve been trying to get my name out there for a job, and it has not been successful. And I have to find a place to live. I went on this vacation to kind of clear my head and re-energize because I’ve been so stressed.”

This was music to Ryan’s ears. “I’m in Newark, too! We should hang out more when we get back. I’ve really enjoyed this past week with you. And, if you’re looking for a place, you can stay in mine. I have an extra room. You don’t have to pay rent either. I’m all good.”

Grace’s jaw almost hit the floor. He was being so generous. And she almost couldn’t say no. It was the perfect offer. But, she had to. She barely knew the guy.

“What? Ryan, no. I can’t ask you to do something like that. I was just complaining. I’m going to figure it out.”

“Grace, I’m serious about it. I’m already there. And I like you a lot. I’d like to see where life takes us.” His smile was shy but so adorable. He wasn’t able to quite make eye contact with you. Grace felt her heart flutter. Butterflies and fireworks and all the movie cliches. Her cheeks must be tomato-red by now.

“I like you, too, Ryan. I’m really happy we met. And that you came into our room.”

“Let’s head to bed, yeah? We have a lot of traveling tomorrow.” He held out his hand, which Grace gladly took. Together, they walked back to the cabin, smiles as wide as anything.

When they got to the room, Ryan pulled Grace into a hug, and whispered into her ear so he wouldn’t wake Maria up, “You take the bed.”

“Only if you cuddle me.” Grace whispered back, shocked at her forwardness. She wasn’t known for being the type of person who asked for what she wanted.

Ryan nodded his head and said, “I was hoping you’d say that. I’m a great cuddler.” And he really was. Grace climbed into his bed, and immediately felt the warmth he radiated. He wrapped his arms around her. The next morning, they woke up to Maria’s gasp. “Guys! I knew it!” She was beaming ear-to-ear. Ryan kissed Grace’s forehead, and whispered, “I could get used to this.” He winked at her before rolling over to answer what would undoubtedly be Maria’s onslaught of questions.

~fin.~

Tagging some moots to enjoy :) @typical-simplelove @jostystyles @2manytabsopen @fallinallincurls @imagines-r-s @islesnucks

#ryan graves #ryan graves fic #emma writes #nhl fic #new jersey devils #nhl #hockey #hockey fic #please read it would mean a lot to me (:#summer fic exchange 2k23

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fundielicious-simblr · 4 months

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Bonus!

I finally bit the bullet and did an updated group photo for gen 3 because I wanted to replace the header I have for this account right now. I'm still stuck on what to do for a profile picture, but I'll figure it out eventually I guess. When planning out the posing for this, I was inspired by @duggardata to do some info points for my sims, so I'm going to be doing some basic and random facts about these little bunches of pixels to end the year. This ended up being a mini thesis, so grab a snack if you plan on scrolling down, and I'll put the post under the cut to save your scrolling the TL. When I started this it was meant to be a small cute post with random information, and has now become an actual analysis. If I've missed anything or if i find more that I can talk about, there definitely can be more of these later down the line.

I'm going to queue this for 11:30pm my timezone, so I wish you all a very happy new year, may you get everything you desire and more!

This is all 36 people that make up the 3rd generation. I've arranged them in birth order, so this is technically chronological I guess. I did mess up when I got to the end because I forgot about Ashton (Allan & Casandra's 13th - the irony 😂) and plopped her further down than she should be.

Names L-R:

Back: Adalynn Leonard, Barrett Collins, Macie Collins, Carter Paulson, Abbey Hill, Brittany Dahlmann, Zoe Moreno, Valentina Townsend, Alan Paulson, Tanner Collins, Maggie Wright, Celeste Paulson.

Middle: Kyra Shearer, Reece Collins, Kristyn Crocker, Sabrina Crawford, Beckett Collins, Amira Eichelburg, Priscilla Roberts, Annette Collins, Jarrod Paulson, James Hunt, Charles Collins, Zachary Paulson.

Front: Rory Godwin, Ruby Rae Godwin, Parker Collins, Ava Grace Godwin, Conner Paulson, Jarrett Paulson, Gabriela Hunt, James Lee Collins, Matthew Collins, Ashton Collins, Amelia Godwin, Archie Collins.

Now onto the stats!

Basics

Out of the 36 :-

Men: 17

Women: 19

The split between men and women is 49/51 (don't quote me on my maths, I dropped maths classes as soon as I was able to 😂) Within the siblings groups it's definitely not as even, though the final results even themselves out. Gender roles are heavily enforced in these households, so ones that are female heavy (Allan and Casandra's 8 girls to 5 boys) compared to those that are male heavy (Claire and Ryan's 6 boys to 4 girls) will have different experiences. Having girls being born earlier in the birth order definitely helps lighten the load when there's a new children every other year.

Marriage

Marriage is definitely a stage of life that fundies emphasise for their kids, with purity culture pushing for them to be married as soon as possible to (A) prevent sin and (B) produce children as fast as possible. Of course, there's those for whom marriage doesn't happen at the desired time, but in times like this the advice is to wait "on the Lord's timing".

For those eligible for marriage out of the 36:

21 are married

1 is engaged

1 is in a courtship

The average age for marriage is 22. The youngest age being 18 (Maggie, Reece, Priscilla) and the oldest being 29 (Abbey)

I don't have exact data for the courtships so I can't do an average, but I can say the longest relationship prior to engagement was Abbey and Adam's - they dated for two years before getting engaged.

Speaking of dating, fundies and many other conservative christians push courting rather than dating. They reason that it's more serious and with the purpose of marriage, and if you add in purity culture there's the argument that they're saving 'pieces of their heart' for their future spouse. Out of the 23 couples who are either married or on their way there, only 2 couples kissed before marriage: Abbey & Adam and Brittany & Colton. These two couples weren't held to as strict standards as their cousins due to their parents outlook on things, they already knew that their daughters didn't personally agree with the convictions on purity (plus with brittany marrying into a well known political family, they saw it as a means to an end 😂) The other 19 couples (soon to be 20) saved their first kiss for the altar, as will the one courting couple (Zachary & Kelsey). Only 3 couples had no touch courtships the whole way through (and this number is debatable because I myself couldn't keep a storyline straight hehe - but from the character personalities and different plotlines let's agree with 3): Reece & Stacie, Alan & Tessa, and Tanner & Tabitha. In all 3 cases it was the girls family that set the stricter rules, which is more common as girls are engineered to guard their purity.

As if common with real life fundies, the older the kids get the faster they get in courtships that end in marriage. This is one of that things that you can't really predict since people's stories are different, Adalynn was the first one to get married 13 years ago, and the next family wedding was Barrett's 3 years later. In the first 9 years since the 3rd generation started getting married, 8 couples were married. The beginning of the next decade is when things started to happen in a flurry, 5 couples got married with four of them having their first child in the same year (this wont make sense, but if i try to make it fit real world parameters i'll acc go insane HAHA - this is fictional so it's allowed not to make sense) The most couples to get married in a year is 7 couples, and with the 13 left I doubt that there will be the same back to back that was happening earlier. The girls have gotten married faster than the boys, but that was to be expected when you consider that gender roles play heavily into fundie culture. It's easier to marry off a daughter to be a wife and mother than having to marry of a son, she will be provided for but he needs to be in the place where he can provide for a family that has the potential to grow exponentially. Obviously because this is a game where reality is suspended, the men in the game don't have to do much to be providers.

Education

Education is important as it shapes a person's thoughts and opinions, therefore fundies are more than likely to homeschool their children so that they are in control of what their child is exposed to. For those who think total at home education isn't where the Lord is leading them, there are other options available such as a homeschool co-op and private christian schools, with the last resort being the public education system.

The 2nd generation are quite diverse with their belief systems, influencing their thoughts and opinions around how they educated their children - and let's be honest, finances do play a certain role here whether you like it or not.

Allan & Casandra - Casandra totally homeschooled all 13 of their children through K-12.

Branden & Lea - Lea homeschooled their 3 children from kindergarten through to grade 8, and for high school the kids attended a private christian school.

Claire and Ryan - Claire totally homeschooled/currently homeschools their 10 children.

Danielle and Sebastian - Danielle totally homeschooled/homeschools their two children.

Elaine and Taylor - Elaine homeschooled/homeschools their 5 children through a homeschool co-op that she taught at prior to having children. The kids are educated by various teachers that specialise in different subjects using an approved curriculum.

Fletcher and Cara - They've chosen to send their son to a private christian K-12 school.

Grayson and Keira - Keira homeschools the kids until they're in grade 8, then they send the kids to a private christian school for high school.

When it comes to university, fundies definitely don't push it onto their children as they see it as a place where they'd be brainwashed. As the times have changed, there have been more and more conservative christian universities that have opened up that cater to fundies, so there are more fundies getting a tertiary education.

Right now there are only 8 out of the 36 sims that have gotten degrees or are actively pursuing them:

Beckett - He's the only one of his siblings to attach themselves to a university, even if his degree was in Bible & Missions at a very conservative bible college. His siblings' skill sets are either self taught or they were mentored by someone, though his sister Amira is doing an associates degree at some point (I just haven't figured out in what yet).

Abbey - She has an distinguished degree in biology and currently works as a marine biologist. I sent her and her sister to the in game university and physically sent them to classes and everything (which is something I'm never doing again HAHA). Back then I also didn't have the thought to send them to a christian university, so let's pretend she just skipped everything evolutionary for her degree.

Brittany - She has a distinguished degree in communications and worked as a political commentator before getting married. She and her sister were the first girls to go to university from their cohort (as well as the first to not be homeschooled), especially since they're in the first phase of the 3rd generation when the 'vibe' in their extended family was very conservative.

Tanner - He has his MD and is now working as a doctor (using the in-game university mechanics) he was also the first boy to attend a secular university, but there obviously weren't as many opinions on him doing it than on his sisters doing it.

James - He has his degree in Bible Counselling with a focus on Youth and Ministry from a local bible college in his area. It was a two year degree to help create missionaries that could be sent out to help churches. He met his wife whilst at university and they married as soon as they graduated, they now live in henley on Bagley as missionaries assigned to help grow a church there. His sister Gabriella doesn't know what she wants to do (i also have no clue), so that will be revealed in due time.

Kyra - She got her degree in early education and is now a kindergarten teacher at a private christian school, she even met her husband at the school through his niblings. Her mother (Elaine) being a teacher and her father also being college educated was definitely an inspiration to her. Being educated in a homeschool co-op also helped her realise her love of teaching.

Rory - Rory is currently at a local university getting a law degree (for my game i'm using a mix of education systems, incase you get confused) and is currently enjoying it. He initially wanted to join the police force like his uncle and cousin, but decided on enrolling in university instead. His parent's are encouraging him down the political route, but with a law degree he can do anything.

Ruby Rae - She's currently in nursing school and is enjoying learning the curriculum. In my head she's always been that character that I'd send off to nursing school, especially with her uncle marrying a nurse, it just felt meant to be for her character. I initially envisioned one of allan and casandra's girls maybe going to nursing school too, but in the end it didn't pan out.

The only ones I can say are definitely attending college in some form are James Lee (Fletcher), Matthew and Archie (Grayson). They'll be like their parents and go to fairly conservative universities and go on to live your average fundie-lite conservative life.

Children

CW: There will be mentions of pregnancy, problems with getting and staying pregnant, pregnancy loss, and infertility of various kinds.

Fundies think of children as gifts from God, with many taking that ideology and running with it, usually ending up with children in the double digits if their fertility agrees with it. The notion of being 'quiverfull' implies that a couple don't use any methods of contraception, with the idea that if God wants them to have a child then they will conceive and birth one. 6 couples of the 2nd generation (Allan to Elaine, then Grayson) were all open to whatever kids the Lord would give them, and they ended up with a variety of children - one couple having 13 and another having just 2. Life throws various curveballs, or as they say "the Lord works in mysterious ways", so there can be many plans that don't work out - let's not forget that people's fertility isn't always textbook. Casandra had 2 miscarriages that I didn't plan in game, the mod I have gets triggered by certain conditions and the alert was a surprise to me. I don't roll for pregnancy losses, unless difficulties getting and/or staying pregnant are part of that character's story for whatever reason e.g. Madelynn, Stacie, etc.

Out of the 21 married couples, only 4 don't have children: Abbey & Adam, Beckett & Mandy, James & Emma, and the newlyweds Parker and Lana.

Abbey and Adam - They're not quiverfull so they've got a timeline for when they'll have children, but they definitely want them.

Beckett and Mandy - They've been married for around 4 years and have not yet had children, they're marked as a quiverfull couple so they're not preventing pregnancy, there's just no children as of yet. Honestly speaking, I haven't thought that far about the ways that children appear in their storyline but I have 3-4 options about where things could go.

James and Emma - These two are in the same boat as Beckett and Mandy in terms of their views on children, they want them but haven't 'been blessed' with them yet. In the actual game they're side characters, so I let the 'Neighbourhood Stories' take over their story unless I see it necessary to intervene.

Parker and Lana - They're newlyweds, so there could be a pregnancy announcement from them any day now. Though I have taken real life parameters into consideration with how fast a couple does conceive, since in real life it can take the average 'healthy' couple up to a year to get pregnant. So you'll just have to wait and see when Lana will be posting a sonogram 😂

Of the 17 couples that have children, they have birthed a whopping 50 children that make up the ever growing 4th generation. There are currently only 2 pregnant women that are gestating 3 children, which is I think the lowest to ever happen by holiday season. The speed at which they have children has definitely sped up the more couples get married. When Adalynn got married in 2010, she had cousins still being born, so for the first five years (2010 - 2015) the 10 grandchildren that were born came from her, Barrett, and Valentina (let's not forget that Kyleigh had triplets then twins back to back, so she went from zero to five children in 3 years)

The 10 children born in the 4 years after that are from Adalynn, Barrett, Carter, Valentina, and Brittany. The next 3 years (2020-2023; i use years to count so i don't get lost, but I make it a point not to mention years in the posts cause that adds opportunities for confusion 😂) were a wedding and baby boom, bringing us to the present day. 2020 had 5 couples marry and birth four children, 2021 holds the record for the most weddings and the most children born: 7 couples married and there were 12 children born. 2023 isn't finished in the game, but so far there has been 1 couple married with another set to marry at the end of the year. So far in 2023 there have been 5 children born, and the pregnancies that are in game aren't set to give birth this year so that's the number for that year.

With all these births happening in waves essentially, how fast are these sims multiplying? In true duggardata fashion I've got the intervals ready for you:

Adalynn & Mason - 9 children in 13 years of marriage: 7 singletons and 1 pair of twins, 8 boys and 1 girl.

Skills

Fundies are known to have their kids learn a skills, usually in the form of musical instruments. From my own childhood as well as research I've gathered via many hours of watching and reading, a musical instrument is the best thing to learn as the 'easiest' way to glorify God is through music. Music plays an important role in worship services, and so having children that can play instruments well allows for them to 'be of use' for worship; families also capitalise on said talent and travel around playing music as a ministry.

The skillset of the 2nd generation does play a role into how their children ended up:

Allan worked as a carpenter (and by carpenter i mean he reached level 10 of the woodworking skill and would just make things to sell) whilst being a Pastor, before retiring and working as a Pastor fulltime. He didn't learn how to play an instrument as he was focused on learning a skill that would help provide for a family.

Branden found his skills in writing, he worked as a writer in the writer field and wrote books that now provide him with royalties, like his brother, he wasn't enrolled in music lessons as his parents had other priorities set for him.

Claire was enrolled in music lessons and found she had a real skills for playing the piano as well as writing music, her mother also had her and her sisters learn homemaking skills such as gardening, cooking, balancing a checkbook and how to run a household. Claire put being a wife and mother first, but also continues to use her skills to minister for the Lord. She's become well known for her performance as well as her hymnal music arrangements (think Kim Collingsworth-esque vibe) and also teaches music as various music camps from time to time.

Danielle learnt how to play the violin as well as learning how to be a homemaker, and as she got married later in life she was the person who stepped in to run the house after her mother passed. She uses her skills whenever asked, like playing at church or at various worship events, but she's mainly focused on gardening and baking.

Elaine learnt how to play the piano and used to play at church and various events, but found her joy was in teaching. She took over homeschooling her younger siblings and went on to earn her teaching qualifications.

Fletcher was taught the piano by his older sisters, but lessons weren't pushed on him by his parents. He went on to focus on fitness and joined the police force after finishing highschool.

Grayson was more book focused and didn't learn an instrument, similar to Elaine he focused more on books and studying and ended up going to medical school.

Harley is the youngest girl and learnt how to play the guitar as a girl, as she was the youngest she didn't have to perform as often as the older siblings did. She went on to get a degree in Fine Arts and now works as the editor in chief at San Myshuno's biggest fashion magasine.

It's easiest to display the information based on the sibling order from gen 2, so here's the list of the various skillsets of the 3rd generation:

A -

Casandra being your typical conservative fundie woman, made sure that all the kids got music lessons, whatever she couldn't teach herself she found someone to teach them. Piano: Since Casandra plays the piano she taught the kids until they were in their teens, then if they chose to continue they could get lessons with Claira. Adalynn, Macie, Zoe, Beckett, Charles and Ashton chose to learn the piano and so far Zoe is the only one who has taken that and made it a career of sorts like her aunt Claire. Violin: Macie also chose to learn violin, with Amira, Priscilla, and Annette also learning the violin. Guitar: The boys mostly chose to learn the guitar, Barrett, Reece, and Parker all chose the guitar, with Maggie being the only girl to choose to learn the guitar. Of the 13 kids to learn a musical instrument, only Zoe has taken it and made it something that monetarily supports her.

B -

Lea learned how to play piano growing up, and enrolled all three of her children in piano lessons. Abbey, Brittany, and Tanner all had piano lessons until they were in their teens and focused on different extracurricular activities once they joined the private christian school.

C -

Claire made sure all her children know an instrument, the four girls (Valentina, Celeste, Kristyn, Sabrina) all know both the piano and the violin, with the 6 boys all learning piano and Carter and Alan also learning how to play the guitar. There were many suggestions of them starting a family band, but Claire and Ryan didn't feel that the Lord was leading them in that direction.

D -

Both James and Emma have learnt to play the piano, James' wife Emma can play the piano, violin, and the flute and has her degree (from a biblical college) in music with a focus on worship music.

E -

Elaine put all the kids into either piano or violin lessons, Kyra did lessons in both until she was a teenager, Rory did piano until he was a teenager, Ruby Rae did violin lessons and still plays at church, Ava Grace continues to play Piano, and Amelia still does violin lessons.

F -

Fletcher and Cara put their son into organised sports, so no music lessons this side.

G -

Keira wanted her boys to have some musical knowledge, so Matthew does guitar lessons and Archie does piano lessons.

That's all I've got for now, but as I was doing this I definitely found more things that I could write about in a few months. I hope you enjoy this!

#fundie sims #fundiesims #quiverfull sims #quiver full sims #collins family #collins legacy #sims 4 legacy #modest sims #homeschool sims #gen 3 #deep dive #analysis #character analysis #post #this was definitely something that started small and next thing i know i've written SECTIONS #i truly had to stop myself because this was was already too much #gen 3 misc #i had to ro RESEARCH on some of the things i was saying cause i had forgotten my damn self

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