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adeptus-nonsense · 5 months

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humans are poets as well as warmongers

Humans nowadays are well known far and wide in this galaxy. Mostly because they are some of the most chaotic, Stupid or bold "daredevils" around (think i used that word correctly).

While i do recall my first meeting with the humans very V E R Y badly since i served in the contact wars when the Graktuka a well known theocratic empire and very influential and politically strong contender in the galaxy stumbled across human colonies. They saw this as an hostile action since the planet they were settling were a holy world, That however is a story for another time.

Just know that the Graktuka empire shrunk by a significant margin to the point where they asked for militairy support. The humans had apparently developed a kind of magnetic accelerated firing plattform piercing through multiple layers of hull completely ignoring shields. Given that Graktuka empire relied on shields since most of the galactic arsenal is plasma based but their hull wasn't weak at all. Unconventional weapons had to be used to even dent their armour. Realising that the humans ships were massive but rather primitive and slow a ground based invasion was seen to be the optimal way off going.

If you were there you would know why humanity is as feared as they are. Masters of the what did they call it? Art of war? Yeah something like that. Fields of bombs buried into the ground detonating with a light step. Weapons dedicated to injure soldiers just enough to save them but not kill them in order to make the invader spend more resources on saving said soldier.

Even our bases of operations with shields were not safe, let me tell you if you think regular humans can cause damage to stuff by touching things dont even get near trained saboteurs with your stuff. They break things in a ways that seems like a simple malfunction and will work after a simple repair. When the shield generator first broke down i thought i could fix it in a matter of minutes, I still havent fixed it to this day and i have taken that thing apart thousands of times without finding the fault.

safe to say we lost that war and this is just one one planet. This was the short part. Just be glad that they pack bond with just about anything. Saw a human carry a cleaning unit and named it "Ronald the Roomba" And that is apparently our ships mascot. But this is things we all are aware of. Let me tell you of their poetic side

This is not something most of us see as common knowledge about humans, but their cultural aspect besides war is for a lack of better words beautiful. This thing they call music.

for all their wars they know how brutal they are and write songs about everything they did wrong and how they wished how they could change it. But that is not all, according to human Jakob music portrays emotions and ones feelings in a way that regular communication doesn't and you dont even need to understand the words to understand the emotion said piece is carrying. Which i know to be true, it's almost therapeutic

I think My log of it will be a better way to describe since it is honestly hard to describe [alltough be careful their music is quite loud for most prey species]

Year 4574 human sector 456854 log 1 of service leave. I am currently here on a passion project of mine. While the war has ended 6 years ago off now the tensions do still exist. Me and some comrades in service are taking some time off and going to what humans call a bar and apparently there is a human performing. I have no idea of how this is gonna go. All i know is humans are incredibly chaotic especially when intoxicated. Still i should probably record this for the culture scientists at social scientific hub.

Log 2

*murmur and loud talking in the background at the bar*

"for clarifications sake, my name is Groakslo, i am here with my two comrades Kyukla and Telosa. We are currently at the bar only to see that humans are actively drinking poison, i was quite shocked to hear this and asked if it isn't dangerous and the bartender said and i quote "nah we gucci" note to self find out what gucci is."

Log 3

"the humans were beginning to get rowdy and even slight outbursts of violence did occur but nothing the surprisingly loud bartender couldn't handle by a very concerning threat, followed by him saying that the band is preparing so settle down. Telosa and i looked at each other very confused but still awaited this "band"

Log 4

"the band arrived and started to set up weird things, long instruments with metal strings, of varying thickness, i asked the a human who were close by what they were and he said instruments. I asked what they were used for and he said to play music. I was getting nowhere and decided to see for myself what they were gonna do."

Log 5 (i decided to be quiet for this one)

"welcome folks and aliens of all sorts shapes and kinds! Thank you for coming to this bar for our first debut our name is The Lines In between, and for those who dont know human music, we'll slowly lean you into it with this first on and it is namned Memories beneath the stars" [3 hours of music recorded]

Final log (yes i know i could voice record but i want to write while the memory is fresh i'm bad with words)

I never knew that humans could make such songs. Telosa and Kyukla was particurlarly affected. The song was as the name suggest the memories we made sneaking out to watch the stars as younglings, reminiscing about the times when the stars were the most unknown, adventure filled and beautiful place to be in. But also about the connections they've lost over the years, the good times wiped away like a water slowly polishing a stone into sand. It was odd, beautiful calm, sad all at once.

The voices i heard when i fought humans in war can not even be compared to that of the singer in that band, what is most perplexing is that the once borderline rioting bar was completely quiet when the band was performing, almost as if in a trance completely captured by the singers voice, smooth, rough, raspy but controlled in a way i thought impossible. A song about 4 human minutes somehow managed to capture the full emotional spektrum of not only humans but multiple species in that bar.

Humans truly are an astounding species. Truly a species that are on all of the extremes, stupidity, ingenuity, violence, poetry and many many more. For now i'll sign off and hope you at the social cultural exchange fellas have a field day with the music file attached to this.

Grokslo, highly decorated former geothermical shield generator militairy specialist.

#humans are space oddities #humans are space australians #humans are space fae #humans are space orcs #this is my firsy real post and more to come :)

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britt-kageryuu · 22 days

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While many have thrown in their ideas about how truly scary the Rise Boys can be, I want to toss about my thoughts.

We know if the boys were ever pushed to actually putting in the effort, we could only scratch the surface of ideas. Like all the different Kraang futures people create. Not to mention the headcanons of what they would be like fully trained under Draxums original plans.

First on the offensive side.

Leo with his portals alone is a force to be afraid of, if someone fired a missile or nuke, he could just send it right back with a portal. Maybe if he just needed the coordinates he could send forces right into the center of enemy headquarters, and capture them.

Donnie would be feared not just for his mystics/ninpo creating any weapon he can think of, but he can upgrade ally weapons and vehicles to be tougher and better than their enemy could ever get.

Mikey if fully trained in Mystics (and hopefully without the rapid aging) is probably very devastating, but add in his chains to throw missiles and vehicles back, maybe a building or ship, and it just escalates from there.

Raph with his Ninpo is a one turtle army of tanks that can cause massive damage. I don't know if he could catch a missile before it explodes, but if possible there you go. Now if he was able to be bulletproof with his constructs, he would be near undefeatable.

On the defensive/support side.

Leo can easily get hostages/prisoners out easily (as long as there's no anti mystic stuff involved), not to mention people trapped in the rubble that isn't fully safe to move. If you want to throw in medic Leo, even as just a field medic, he would be invaluable, otherwise he can quickly get support in and out safely.

Donnie could easily build advanced medical devices, medicine, and armor. Not to mention tossing out a temporary ninpo medical device to help in the field. He's shown to make hard light shields to protect, and act as a road block, and he just wants to help how ever he can. Even if it's just a modified Roomba Army.

Mikey could definitely learn defensive and healing Mystics, and have him easily pull a big thing to act as a barrier. He would probably be good at quick hit and run tactics, and putting up secret signs with graffiti to point to safety.

Raph again one turtle army, and Stupidly strong, so easy quick defensive cover. Plus he can carry alot of people to safety whether on his shell or in his arms.

I'm kinda running out of points to make, but the other support they can give is teaching others how to defend themselves, and how to make these upgrades, or other improvements.

Take from this what you will, the Rise Turtles are pretty scary when you put things into perspective. And that's not even mentioning throwing Splinter into the whole scenario, and many other factors!

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sm-baby · 4 months

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Why do the others stop Jax from attacking non-sentient Pomni? is there a reason for them not to let him attack her? to their knowledge she is still non-sentient, and would necessarily "care" if she was attacked or used as a meat (or well, code) punching bag.

what happens if he were to whittle down her hitpoints? would she just respawn? does the "jester" as a tutorial npc have an invincibility shield to protect them from the player? would Jax attacking them be closer to a form of self harm in that case? if the AI doesn't respawn, and could be effectively deleted while non-sentient would the others (like Ragatha or Zooble) consider it to stop the next AI from joining their torture?

You're art is so good!! it fills me with inspiration and so many questions!! (obvs haha ^^')

It wouldn't hurt her but you would still stop a friend from doing a violent act... Like I wouldn't let a friend just break a roomba you know?

Also the ai will simply pop back into existence... Restart basically.

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undreaming-fanfiction · 1 year

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Modern day Steddie. Eddie is a messy person and because Steve is going gray from all the crumbs on the floor and the hair from their cat, Nancy and Robin take pity on them and give Steddie a roomba. Steve likes it a lot. But Eddie LOVES it.

Eddie names their roomba Sir Bouncealot. He attaches a tiny sword and shield on it. He asks Will to draw a coat of arms on it and he does, an armored hand holding a broom on a black and yellow-checkered background. Dustin gets Sir Bouncealot a small cape. It becomes a beloved member of the household.

Steve might feel a bit jealous because there are days when Eddie tells him he was stressed, but Sir Bouncealot helped him get over it with his cute beep boops and dancing through the room, cape twirling behind.

So when Steve goes to watch a basketball game on TV and Eddie keeps quietly talking to the roomba, he becomes petty.

When Eddie plops next to him on the couch, he almost crashes into Steve's hairdryer that's next to him. There's a small ribbon around it and Steve even found goggly eyes somewhere.

"Watch out," frowns Steve and pets the hairdryer. "You'll hurt her."

Eddie blinks slowly, confused. "...her?"

Steve can't hide the shit-eating grin. "Yes, her. This is Hairsmeralda."

Soon more follow. The oven is Mr. Owen (Eddie groans at that but accepts it). The washing machine is Poseidon because it flooded their apartment twice already. Their toaster is Mr. Vesuvius (can you tell they don't have enough money for high-quality appliances?). The fridge is Bigfoot and the freezer is Yeti. They never discuss it, they just start referring to the machine with a name and that's it. Neither of them is willing to name their TV or their CD player. Maybe one day.

(Also Steve had to draw the line at naming lightbulbs because Eddie was about to whip out his copy of Silmarillion and Steve would very much like to know which light he should switch on, thank you)

#stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #steddie drabble #stranger things drabble #steddie au

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nivellesart · 2 years

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Another Roomba AU

In which Roomba!Arthur has a sword taped onto him and is chasing Roomba!Merlin, who has been equipped with a shield, through the palace.

For the @merlinbingo prompt I5 - Robots AU

#merlin bbc #merlin #arthur pendragon #merthur #merlin fanart #merlinbingo #my art #nivellesart #coloured sketch #and they were roombamates #merthur edition

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rebecca-lotto · 3 months

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well , going back to pokemon shield with knowledge of gen 9..

y'know , since Rose is penny's (estranged) uncle, i also got hit with a idea that he'd do something so astronomically stupid that ogerpon & pecharunt would put aside their differences & team up to beat his ass.

and then a certain OP baby turtle crossed my mind.

ogerpon & pecharunt mount a rescue mission to break their little sibling Terapagos out of a macro cosmos building, and run the bastard who ordered Terapagos' kidnapping out of the region by any means necessary.

'cause rose was gonna try & use the baby roomba turtle for the same shit he tried to do to eternatus.

now to the plan ; pecharunt's part is to use their mochi to control as many macro cosmos grunts as possible - the more numbers to storm the building the better- and since the grunts all wear sunglasses constantly , it'll be super easy to hide the fact that they're under pecharunt's thrall.

ogerpon's in charge of 'recruiting' help for the mission ; she's got the loyal 3's pokeballs and part of her task is to find 3 potential thralls with dynamax bands just in case the quintet have to fight their way out.

#ogerpon pecharunt and terapagos having a found family dynamic warms my heart #sure ogerpon and pecharunt may be sworn enemies #but nothing brings people together like overthrowing a capitalist twit

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kandisheek · 4 months

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FIC REC WEEK 1 – STONY FAVORITES

In Which Tony Stark Builds Himself Some Friends (But His Family Was Assigned By Nick Fury): Series by scifigrl47

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: M Words: 343,010 Tags: Team as Family, Slow Burn Romance, Hilarious Banter

Reasons why I love it: If you've been in this fandom for any amount of time, you've probably read or at least heard of this series. For good reason too, because scifigrl47 created an absolute masterpiece here. It's still ongoing, so I'm only going to be commenting on the complete works, but either way this one is definitely a must-read.

This series consists of:

Some Things Shouldn't Be A Chore

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: T Words: 22,187 Tags: Humor, Fluff, Sentient Toaster

Summary: Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

Reasons why I love it: Aaaah Tony, my love! The characterization feels so real, the humor is top notch, and the hurt/comfort is chef's kiss! I love this fic so much, definitely give it a read!

Ordinary Workplace Hazards, Or SHIELD and OSHA Aren't On Speaking Terms

Pairing: Clint/Coulson, pre-Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 25,992 Tags: Humor, Pre-Slash, Roomba Army of Doom

Summary: Tony Stark has once again engineered something that might well lead to the downfall of Western Civilization. No one's really surprised. This time, however, it might just be the lesser of two evils. Clint and Phil hate playing pickup, but damn, Clint loves the Roombas, and damn, Phil loves Clint, though he's not really sure why sometimes. It's time to play Hide-And-Seek with hostile robotic AIs in the SHIELD home office.

Reasons why I love it: I ship Clint/Coulson to hell and back, so I squee every time I read this one. Clint and Tony bickering while being BAMFs is always a win, and who doesn't love Coulson and Steve freaking out over their loved ones' safety? A wonderful fic laden with action and comedy, go and check it out!

Four (Or Five) Reasons for Kidnapping Tony Stark

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: T Words: 78,101 Tags: BAMF Tony Stark, Kidnapping, Team as Family

Summary: There are four reasons for kidnapping Tony Stark. Tony's sick of all of them. Well, there's potentially a fifth, but it's highly unlikely that Captain America will suddenly fulfill THAT fantasy. Tony's deeply disappointed about that. Steve Rogers, as always, is oblivious. At least, that is, until someone who isn't him kidnaps Tony. Then he's just pissed.

Reasons why I love it: This is one of the first fics I read in this fandom, and it's what drew me into the whole world of Steve and Tony in the first place. I love the asymmetrical storytelling, the suspense, the drama, the angst, the humor, the resolution, all of it! The plot is so fricking creative, and the fact that all five reasons for kidnapping Tony Stark are explored in such a varied way just wows me. One of my favorite fics of all time!

Dating The Long Way Around

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: M Words: 66,979 Tags: Dating, Humor, Domestic

Summary: Tony Stark was pretty sure the Universe had it out for him. Call it karma, or the natural balance, but on occasion, he had a sneaking suspicion that for every good thing that happened to him, something bad was waiting around the corner. That being the case, his first real date with Steve Rogers would probably lead to something disastrous. But in that he was, in fact, going on his first real date with Steve, he wasn't sure he cared. Steve was certain he didn't. It's a Thursday night in New York City, what can possibly go wrong?

Reasons why I love it: The team being dorks about Stony's first date? Steve being an insecure wreck? The FLIRTING?!?? Hell fucking yes to all of that!! And when the plot hits, it just takes the fic to a whole other level. I love it to bits, and I think you will too!

Things Unseen (That Are Captured on Film)

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Clint/Coulson Rating: M Words: 42,476 Tags: Fighting And Making Up, Domestic Avengers, Developing Relationship

Summary: In which the Avengers discover the video footage of Tony testing the Iron Man armor, and that goes about as well as it could be expected. Steve Rogers attempts to make peace with his lover's rather cavalier attitude to his health and safety, and starts learning more about Tony's family along the way, both the one he was born into, and the one he's chosen. And, of course, the one that's chosen him. Subtitled: It's all Clint's fault. No one is surprised.

Reasons why I love it: If you sometimes get that itch of 'oh man, I wish character x would react to that thing character z did', then this one is for you. I absolutely love the idea of everyone watching Tony's reckless tests and being appropriately horrified. Plus, the following conflict and resolution is written beautifully, so yeah, definitely give this one a read.

Hollow Your Bones Like a Bird's

Pairing: Clint/Coulson, pre-Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 95,514 Tags: Fix-It, Teambuilding, Coulson Lives

Summary: In the wake of the Chitauri invasion, Clint Barton wakes up in a world that he very nearly had a hand in destroying. And confronting a loss he might not be able to cope with. The Avengers always needed something to avenge, but once the crisis is past, what keeps them together?

Reasons why I love it: Ladies and gents and my non-binary friends, we've got angst! Clint's struggles are so visceral that I get completely sucked into the fic, no matter how many times I read it. It's heart-breaking and lovely in equal measure, and the resolution is worth all the pain. Clint is one of my favorite characters, so the way his trauma is explored in this fic is just incredible to me. Definitely, DEFINITELY check this one out!

#marvel #stony #fanfic #fic rec #fanfiction recommendation #a year in fanfic recs

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not-krys · 1 year

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Six Sentence Sunday: Nurture

I ran out of time last WIP Wednesday to post my latest in progress thing (I'll post it this coming WIP Wednesday), but it is Maddie's bday soon and I felt bad if I didn't post something for the occasion, so here's the entry for this month's prompt, Maddie edition.

Regular WIP Wednesday warnings apply here today too: Raw, unedited, incomplete writing that cuts off suddenly, original character featured, fluff, Maddie confusing Harr with future tech, etc. I know it says 'six sentence' Sunday, but... obviously, this is longer than six sentences. I don't care, it's Maddie's bday month, she deserves more than six sentences.

My masterlist!

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Most of his life, Harr preferred the quiet. Quiet to study to, bird song at his window, the sound of dip pens scratches filling the silence. The Magic Tower was quiet too, in the areas he worked in, only the occasional hum of magic filling anyone's ears.

Then, there was the loudness to punctuate his quiet days. Sirius's laughter as he patted his back, mostly with more than necessary force. Lancelot's quiet chuckle at Sirius's antics. A festival in Central celebrating the coming spring. Lancelot's booming declaration of war. The screams in the Magic Tower. Loki's cries in the night whenever the rain pounded on the roof. His own cries when he felt the magic burns on his arm and in his eye.

As much as he had preferred his quiet life of scratching pens and song birds, it was one he couldn't go back to, even if he wanted. He absently scratched his arm, the bandaging starting to chafe his scars.

He sighed and stood up, intent on looking for the first aid kit and change his bandages.

Then, his ears picked up on a small sound, not unlike his morning song birds.

"Dearest broom~ Beloved little broom~" he peeked around a corner, spying Maddie with her arms out in front of her, her palms up in a welcoming gesture. Opposite her was a regular, humble broom, bristles made of straw and dry brush with a slightly crooked handle. Maddie's eyes started glowing red.

"Lets sweep up the room, my little broom~"

Harr watched, waiting to see if anything would come of the little magic song. Incantations weren't unheard of in Cradle to use magic by, it just wasn't as common as using magic crystals. Harr had been fascinated by Maddie's magic, a combination of her Alice powers of shielding magic along with this strange knack for making inanimate objects move or lucky just by singing in the object's general direction. He honestly wanted to study it more, but, as Maddie had been living most of her life in the Land of Reason, she didn't have enough of a nurturing environment to develop her powers very far, aside from maybe the rare influence if she concentrated hard enough.

Now, however…

He held his breath, watching as the broom rattled, shaking against the chair it had been leaning against.

"Please, little broom~" Maddie coaxed in a gentle voice, "let's sweep up the room together~"

The broom continued to rattle, as if held by an invisible hand, struggling to pick up the broom.

Maddie took a single step back, moving her hands in a pulling motion, willing the broom to come towards her.

His eye widened as the broom moved forward on it's own. Maddie moved another step back, the broom following her. Maddie grinned pierced ear to pierced ear, a squeak of laughter escaping her.

Her joy didn't last long as the broom stopped, frozen in place, and started to fall. Maddie leaped to catch it before it hit the floor, and sighed. Harr smiled softly and entered the room, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"You're getting better." he said.

"You think so?"

"Yes." he nodded, "you couldn't get it to move at all before."

"I'm getting that much closer to Cradle's version of a roomba." she said quietly but proudly.

"A roo-what?"

"A roomba. It's a self-propelled vacuum that-"

"Vacuum?"

"Ah, a Land of Reason thing." she tried to explain, "It's… like if you combined a broom with a… a rubbish bin! Quite the useful tool."

#krys's adventure's in fanfiction #ikemen revolution #ikerev oc #harr silver #madeline fleming (oc)#wip wednesday #it's not wednesday #but it counts

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ashintheairlikesnow · 2 years

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Kauri and Vince in pain or angst is just ✨👌🏾! Listen we all hate Owen but i gotta admit the man has taste…

CW: References to past domestic violence, discussion of child abuse and domestic violence, and then everything goes to shit at the end

At least, Jake thinks, he isn't running yet.

He stands in the doorway to their bedroom, looking in on Kauri. He looks so small, curled up like that on his side in the center of the enormous oversized king bed that is the one single luxury Jake allows himself. His hair falls over his forehead and along his neck, and through the black curls Jake can see heavy dark eyelashes, just barely resting on his cheek. He's gone more angular with time, lost the last of the softness that had rounded him when they first met.

Still, he seems the same in so many ways. Frightened and curled around the little Roomba that had been with him since he was trapped, has followed him through freedom, and who even now sits with a soft buzzing warmth, her visual sensors two red dots watching Jake, an unblinking guardian.

"He's going to take a shower," Jake says, voice low. Kauri doesn't respond, but his arms tightens minutely around Keira, and he presses his forehead against the curved metal along her side. "He says he mostly just got roughed up. His nose isn't even broken, we thought it was but... just a lot of blood. He'll heal up all right. Just some bumps and bruises and a whole lot of very gross dirt."

Kauri still doesn't move, or even open his eyes.

Jake inhales, slowly, and then steps inside properly, closing the door behind him. The room dips into comfortable darkness, lit only by the streetlight outside. The night has fallen by now, and some of the sweltering daytime heat is finally letting up.

The ceiling fan ticks in a lazy spin overhead, and Jake could reach up and touch it without even stretching onto his toes, but he just sits at the edge of the bed. Keira watches him. Kauri curls up a little tighter around her.

"Kauri. Look at me." There's a pause, and then he does. Those wide blue eyes slowly open, glimmering with tears and shadowed in misery. "This isn't your fault."

"It is," Kauri answers. His voice is hoarse, but he's been crying ever since they got the call from Krista, off and on. Jake isn't surprised. It actually reminds him of Jameson, whose voice is eternally hoarse from screaming and not tears, but the effect is sort of the same. "It is my fault. If I wasn't here-"

"He'd have found you ages ago, and we couldn't keep you safe," Jake soothes, leaning over to push back the curls with his thumb, rubbing it lightly over Kauri's forehead just above his thick eyebrows. He shivers, but it's a pleasant sensation, and the beautiful man manages a slight, faint, frightened smile.

"You'd all be better off," Kauri says.

Falsehood detected, Keira answers, sounding almost prim and proper - if metallic robot voices can have emotions like that - and Jake grins.

"See? Keira's smarter than all of us combined and she knows you're better off here than back there."

"You taught her to say that when I say anything bad about myself," Kauri says petulantly. But his arms tighten around the little robot that was by his side before anyone else even had the chance.

"Guilty as charged," Jake admits. He can barely contain the weight and the depth of his love, in the moment. Down the hall the shower runs, Antoni scrubbing away the remnants of what Owen did. In another room, Chris is safe in bed, Rafael and Laken with him, distracting him with video games so he won't think about what was written on the walls. Krista is in a hotel room while they move her to a new apartment - Jake had paid the lease-breaking fee and all the costs of the new place and hiring a moving truck himself, out of a stash of money Vincent Shield gave him more or less against his will more than a year ago. Krista's safe, under an assumed name and driven to a place no one will expect her to be.

Everyone is exactly as safe as Jake is capable of making them.

And he feels like shit that he can't do better than this.

"What'm I gonna do?" Kauri asks, and the wedding ring glitters in the darkness on his left ring finger as he rests the hand on top of Keira. She whirrs her little broken wheel in response, a sound not entirely unlike a cat purring. "Jake, what-... what do I do, we can't go to the cops, we can't... Jesus. You were right."

Jake pauses. "Right about what, Kaur?"

"Going public," Kauri whispers. "Telling everyone what WRU is doing. You were so right, it told Owen where to find me, didn't it? I didn't think he'd still be looking after so long, but-... but-"

"He is, yeah. And no, this isn't what I thought would happen, and although it literally hurts me to admit to this, no, I wasn't right in being too scared to let you speak up. You did the right thing." Jake takes his hand, and Kauri's fingers are long and cool in his own. "You really did. None of this changes that. Whatever bullshit Owen does is because he's a shitty asshole who wanted to hurt you. It's not because of anything you've ever done."

"He's hurting everyone around me," Kauri says, meeting Jake's eyes finally. "He-... he hurt you by sending your dad-"

"I kicked that fucker off my front porch in less than an hour." Jake keeps his voice light, although the humor doesn't quite land. "And then my mom drove to his hotel and screamed at him to leave us alone from there. He's gone, and you know what?"

Kauri waits a beat, and then asks, "What?"

"I found out important shit from that, anyway. One, that he's actually a more pathetic person than he used to be, he didn't even want to find me, he just wanted the money Owen gave him for doing it. He had to take a picture of my house, apparently, for proof. Two, when Mom was yelling at him he admitted he doesn't know where Jeremy is, so my little brother is safe from him, too."

"Go Suzanne," Kauri says, brightening just a little. "She really decided to leave and went, huh?"

"She really did. Apparently Dad's history of using custodial visits to beat the shit out of me came up in court." Jake ignores the ancient twist of jealousy, that someone else's mom could go when his felt compelled to stay for so, so long. It wasn't her fault, not really - Jake by now knows everything about the psychology of abuse, he's made rescuing people from a kind of endless legal abuse the focus of his entire life.

But the jealousy is still there, deep down. And he doesn't hate himself for feeling it, not anymore. He just accepts that it's the child in him wishing things could have been different, and that's an okay thing to wish.

"Go Suzanne," Kauri repeats, but his eyes close again. He squeezes Jake's hand. "I wish I could have been like her."

"Kauri." Jake laughs - he can't help it, it's such a bizarre train of thought. "Kauri, I love you, but you are, you are like her."

His eyes open again, and he blinks up at Jake, confused. Jake loves the way his brow furrows, the little wrinkle between his eyebrows, when he makes this face. "What? How?"

"You were scared. You were hurting. He turned on you - and you decided to leave, you took what you loved-" His eyes flicker down to Keira, whose visual sensors might brighten briefly in what he likes to think is her attempt to approximate a smile, "-and you went."

"Yeah, but-"

"You threw yourself out of a moving car on a highway," Jake insists, and pulls Kauri's hand to his lips to kiss along his knuckles one by one. "You cut shit out from under your skin so he couldn't track you with it. You nearly fucking died for freedom. Go Suzanne, yeah, I'm so glad Jeremy won't have to know Dad like I did, but... go you, too, Kauri. If you hadn't run you'd be dead. And you ran, and here you are."

"Here I am," Kauri echoes, the first glimpse of a real smile fading as he thinks. "And here Owen is, tracking me down, ruining my life. Ruining all our lives. Chris has barely spoken since it happened-"

"He ate a little bit today," Jake says, thinking. "Laken's trying to get him to drink a protein shake before he learns about Antoni."

"Krista doesn't feel safe anymore-"

"The movers are packing all her shit up for us tomorrow, and she'll be moved into the new place by Monday. It's ten minutes away instead of an hour, so she'll be closer to help if she needs it again."

"Antoni is hurt-"

"Antoni's been hurt before," Jake says, but his voice gentles. He knows this guilt, marking Kauri's face as deeply as any scar ever could. "He'll be all right. He's here, and we'll take care of him."

"I guess. Jake, I-... I'm scared of him. I make jokes, I know, about Owen's... his bullshit, and everything he did to me, but-... but." Kauri huffs dry, humorless, angry laughter, closing his eyes and curling tightly around Keira again. "I'm so scared," He whispers, lips trembling against Keira's side.

Kauri is good, Keira croons, soothing as best she can. Kauri Grant, owner. Kauri is good. Reassurance Jake Stanton provide.

"I do, and I will, as many times as you need to hear it. We'll get through this, Kauri."

"Maybe," Kauri whispers. "Maybe we will. What did Nat say?"

"I don't know, I haven't talked to her." Jake shrugs. Kauri raises his head, confused, and Jake sighs. "She texted before that she and Jameson were doing movie night, and you know how she is about he phone. She turns it off during movies. I've left a voicemail and I'll try again when I figure the movie's probably over."

Kauri is quiet, for a second. Outside, a mourning dove softly calls hoo-hoo, hoo. Then he pushes himself up. "Call Jameson's phone," He says quickly. "Please."

"Jameson didn't give me his number, he was... he's not exactly happy with me-"

"Do it, Jake. Please. Get Allyn, they know... they know, please." Kauri swallows. His seem briefly silver, reflecting the hint of light from outside. "For me, Jake. Please."

"... yeah. Okay." Jake gets to his feet and heads down the hall, finding Allyn in their bedroom listening to an audiobook, eyes closed. He makes sure to let the door hit the wall, so they jolt into awareness and open their eyes before he's right in front of them. They look up - already ready for bed in a matching pajama set they found at Secondhand Threads two weeks ago.

"Jake?" They tip their head to one side, heavy, wavy red hair falling against the freckles on their cheek.

"Can you call Jameson for me, please? Nat's phone is off."

Allyn nods. "Movie night," They say sagely, and twist to their side to pick their phone up off the nightstand. They're proud of it, of the trust Jake shows them in giving them a phone of their own and a way to contact Jameson that doesn't mean going through someone else. Jake hears them in there talking for an hour some nights, Allyn's voice low and soft the way Jake's own voice gets when he talks to Kauri and Antoni.

The shower at the end of the hall shuts off.

Allyn finds the call history, and Jameson is the only person they've ever called so they don't need to read in order to hit the send button and hold it up to their ear. They frown.

The second tick by, one by one by one by one.

"Hold on," They say quietly. "Let me try again."

Something cold starts to settle in Jake's chest. He hovers in the doorway, watching as they call again. The time stretches. It slows. It stops.

Allyn frowns down at the phone. They try one more time. This time, they flinch and look up. "The phone's not even ringing now, it went to his voicemail."

Jake could pretend to be confused... but he isn't.

Just cold with a burst of fury that closes sharp fingers around his heart. He turns around and finds Antoni in the bathroom doorway, drying his hair in a loose, long-sleeved shirt and pants. "Jasha?" Antoni asks, but hesitates when he sees... whatever it is he sees in Jake's face. "Jasha-"

Jake moves past him without a word and goes back to the bedroom. "I'm going to check on Nat," He says sharply to Kauri, sitting on the side of the bed to yank on tennis shoes. "Jameson's phone rang twice with no answer and went to voicemail. It's probably nothing, but-"

"It's not nothing," Kauri cuts him off. He sits up, too, clambering out from the center of the bed and standing. "I'll go with you-"

"No." Jake looks up at him, and he feels guilty at how Kauri looks scared of him, too, the look on his face... but not so guilty that he'll give in and risk what might happen if he goes. "Listen. I'm going to go handle it. You stay here and keep track of everyone. Keep them safe. Keira, you've got location on my phone?"

Jake Stanton phone ID verified, Keira responds. She might sound urgent. How do you know, with a robot voice, coolly feminine and metallic? Location tracking on.

"Good. If my phone heads anywhere but Nat's house, Kauri, then you come for me, too. But otherwise I'll call you."

Kauri doesn't want to say yes, Jake can tell, but he can't say no, either. It should bother Jake that he can tell Kauri can't say no, right now, that he's too deep in his terror and fear to remember how long it took him to speak up for himself.

It doesn't. He needs that fear right now. He needs Kauri to stay here.

He leaves the room and heads down the hall at a fast clip, ignoring Antoni's eyes on his back. Jake slams the door shut and locks it in one smooth motion before he's jogging for the car he borrowed since his own is sitting at a mechanic's to get every damn tire replaced now, since Owen slashed them.

"Shit," He mutters to himself, and pulls out of the driveway so fast he nearly hits the neighbor's mailbox, before tires squeal on pavement and he's gone. The drive takes forever, no matter how fast he goes. He tries calling her three more times. It doesn't work.

Nat's truck is in her driveway, lights show through the blinds, but when he leaps up the stairs and opens her unlocked front door...

She's gone.

So is Jameson.

The only thing he can see is a spray of blood along the wall above Jameson's phone, dropped directly beneath it into a puddle of more blood, drips and drops of it along the floor, leading from the phone towards the door. Now that Jake is looking, he can see more drops on the porch, down the steps. He smeared them when he went running up to come inside.

There's a goddamn handprint on the inside of the front door.

That has to be on purpose.

That's a fucking message.

Trash Cat is a meow before she's a creature, loudly yowling as she runs up to Jake. He scoops her up and for the first time she allows him to hold him, clinging with claws to his arm and shoulder. Jake takes a breath, knowing immediately he won't find Nat or Jameson here. If Trash Cat is coming to him, there's no one else.

Tied to her collar with thread is a little rolled-up piece of paper, a bloodied fingerprint pressed into the blank side. He unrolls it, stares at what's written in ballpoint pen. He checks the whole house to be sure - to ensure no one is here, no one is hiding, he even checks the secret closet hiding space he once put Chris in so long ago - and then he heads back outside and gets into the borrowed car.

With Trash Cat sitting ladylike in the passenger seat, he picks up his phone.

"Jake, did you find them-"

"He's got them," Jake says, voice flat. Kauri lets out a soft cry at the other end, and then Jake has to close his eyes as one of the two loves of his life wails, an animal sound he would rather die than ever have to hear again.

"No," Kauri whimpers. A sob breaks on the other end. Antoni's voice is low, muffled, not quite understandable in the background. Jake hears Kauri tell him, and Antoni's vicious swearing in Russian. Kauri returns to the phone, his voice shaking with tears. "Jake, no, please, please tell me he doesn't-"

"He does," Jake says. He takes a deep breath. "But listen. Trash Cat's still here."

Trash Cat meows when she hears her name, left ear flicking towards him and then away. Her tail lashes, unhappily.

"He didn't-... oh god, he didn't hurt her, did she? She's just an animal, she didn't-... she isn't-"

"He didn't hurt her," Jake soothes. "I'm bringing her back with me. But I found a note on her."

"A..." Kauri sniffs. "A note?"

"A note."

"From... oh, fuck, jesus, god..." Kauri takes a breath so deep Jake can hear it through the phone line. "From Owen? Does he s-say what he's going to d-d-do to them or-"

"It's not from Owen." Jake backs down the driveway, turning out to head for the four-way stop at the end of the street.

"What? Then-"

"The note is from Nat," Jake says. His eyes are on the merge to the highway up ahead and the promise of laying his foot as hard as he can on the gas pedal to head home. "It's Jameson's blood on the wall, not hers. And Owen's too apparently. I need to talk to Keira."

"What? Why? Wait, blood on the wall?"

"Listen. Owen's got Vince, apparently, and now he's got Jameson and Nat, but... but listen."

There's a pause. "I'm listening-... oh god, Jake."

"Listen to me." His left hand is tingling, and Jake ignores the evidence of the lasting nerve damage that he is still pretending never happened. "Nat has a plan."

@burtlederp @finder-of-rings @endless-whump @astrobly @thefancydoughnut @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @whumptywhumpdump @whumpiary @orchidscript @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @eatyourdamnpears @hackles-up @grizzlie70 @mylifeisonthebookshelf @keeper-of-all-the-random-things

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ratsoh-writes · 3 months

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Cory: I DON'T KNOW, I WAS PROGRAMING MY ROOMBA AND THEN- wait... do I know you?

Have they met?

Shield sets Cory down gently

Shield: I DONT KNOW, MAYBE?

He takes off his helmet revealing a skeletal face

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aquateenpatrolsomethingshowshow · 5 months

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ok so i dont feel like doing a full on review of the new episode so im just gonna make bullet points of the high lights and things that stuck out to me lmao

((contents spoilers below))

• still love that intro its so fucking awesome

• still loving the upgraded animation its so fluent and beautiful but still maintains that classic “aqua teen” look

• ok but shake is kinda hot in that outfit ngl

• shake looks like literally every millennial in my town and especially the ones that go to the coffee shops in my area lol

• MEATWAD IN THE FUCKING HIGH CHAIR IM CRYING

• “its spelled with a g cuz disney owns it” 💀💀

• “hoverboard” and its the fucking roomba 💀

• this is literally clone high istg with the self aware roombas istg /j

• all the robots had little hands that kinda looked like shakes thats so cute

• his whole rant about drinking the cream had me dead

• “its an easy fix tanner” BFNFCFNGFVX bro has beef with tanner lmao

• “master shaken not stirred” ok but that cream work was fucking bad ass

• bro literally had robots write his movie for him thats literally what it felt like when i would be paired with ppl for school projects and i had to do all the work for them but they still take credit for it 😭💀🙄

• DAMN BRO chill out with the coffee

• “script title” thats so shake

• bro literally just called his characters “boy 1” and “boy 2” 😭😭

• “i dont drink coffee its makes me uhh..” IT MAKES YOU WHAT FRYLOCK?!?! • oh hi theres more robots

• MEATWAD HANGING OUT WITH THE ROBOTS THATS SO CUTE TWO OF MY FAV THINGS TOGETHER AND THE SIPPING AND SWIRLING THE COFFEE AROUND MOTIONS WERE SO CUTE TF

• “a relationship of a gummy bear and candy cane” 🥺🥺🥺🥺

• THE MICHAEL CAINE ROBOT IS SO CUTE I LOVE HIM HIS LITTLE GLASSES AND ACCENT I CANT

• “the movie” at carls 🙄🙄🙄

• MEATWAD COVERING HIS EYES CUZ HES NOT ALLOWED TO SEE THAT STUFF 🥺🥺🥺 ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE ME GET EMOTIONAL OVER HIM?!?! /nm ((love the nod/continuity of meatwad not being able to see that type of stuff tho))

• MOVIE TIME

• WHY DOES THE MOVIE LOOK LIKE THOSE OLD QUIZNOS COMMERCIALS HELP YALL KNOW WHICH ONES I MEAN 💀💀💀

• LOOK AT MEATWAD HES SHIELDING HIS EYES AGAIN HES SO PRECIOUS I CANT

• “easy with the hands love” 💀💀💀 I LOVE THAT HE CALLS EVERYONE LOVE CUZ HES BRI’ISH

• WHERE DID FRYLOCK GET THE MONEY TO GET A LITERAL IPHONE FUCKING 15?! DAMN BRO

• NO WAY YALL THEY GOT A ROBOT OF THE GUY FROM THE WEAPON OF CHOICE MUSIC VIDEO 😱😱😱 ((/t ik its christopher walken lol))

• HOLY SHIT IS THAT MR FUCKING BUTLERTRON I CANT BELIEVE THEY PUT MR B FROM THE HIT SERIES CLONE HIGH IN ATHF 😱😱😱 /j

• “and michael richards” THE MICHAEL RICHARDS??? COSMO KRAMER MICHAEL RICHARDS?!?!

• “now i can make toast in another city” said no one ever AND BOI WHERE YOU GOING ANYWAY YOURE POOR

• HOW DARE YOU DENY THE BABEY BOY TOAST

• bro literally just killed all the robots 0s and 1s are like robot poison lol

• classic athf to just blow up the house lmao

• DAMN THAT LEAF TRANSITION WAS SO GOOD AND PRETTY

• “sticks and hicks” lmao

• it looks so peaceful up there kinda reminds me of that one og emma chamberlain video where her and her dad go to her grandparents house in the literal woods lmao

• “read some books, play some board games, make some s’mores” that sounds so cozy and im just picturing them all doing that and its so cute

• “no wifi? im going back to the robots” thats an honest to god mood

• IS THIS THE FUCKING TRANSFORMERS?! /j

AND SCENE

ngl the most recent episode wasnt the best out of the 3 so far tbh but it wasnt horrible probably give it like a 6 or 7 out of 10 i also like how they do the credits over the episode it gives them more of the episode to do but also ends in a way thats still very “aqua teen” if that makes sense

also wish they did more with them out in the country and like maybe doing something at a regular cabin instead of the robot in disguise ((which ik was the joke/point of how it ended)) but still that wouldve been really wholesome

#athf #aqua teen #aqua teen hunger force #master shake #meatwad #frylock #carl brutananadilewski #athf spoilers #spoilers #season 12

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themculibrary · 5 months

Text

Ceiling Vent Clint Barton Masterlist

Caught In A Net (ao3) - ShippersList clint/phil T, 1k

Summary: When Clint started roaming the vents, he didn't exactly expect to stumble upon Coulson's office. What a delightful coincidence.

Clint Barton's Guide to Friends and Ceiling Vents (ao3) - NoliteTimereEos clint/natasha T, 6k

Summary: In which Clint Barton meets a missing assassin in the vents and somehow becomes friends with him. Things don't go as bad as they could have.

Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club (ao3) - sara_holmes clint/bucky, steve/tony T, 67k

Summary: Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.)

"When Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, Clint’s first thought is that Tony Stark’s pride and joy is quickly becoming a less of a very tall and expensive ‘fuck you’ in the faces of investors who don’t believe in self-sustaining energy, and more of a superhero rehabilitation center."

Boyfriends, compromises and learning to like oneself.

Furious Fury and the Interrupting Intern (ao3) - Stella_Malodi nick/darcy G, 1k

Summary: Darcy's trying to find the cafeteria; somehow, she finds her Soulmate instead. (She really should've known better than to ask Clint "The Ventilation System Is My Highway" Barton for directions.)

Darcy had no sense of direction. This could be a problem when she was trying to find her way around SHIELD headquarters, especially since SHIELD agents were apparently horrible at giving step-by-step directions. Because, seriously? “Follow this hallway for five hundred feet, then turn North.” She wasn’t carrying a compass! And how was she supposed to know how far five hundred feet actually was?

Left in the Cold (fanfiction.net) - Nightcrawler's Shadow pepper/tony T, 2k

Summary: Clint doesn't like the cold, Tony needs to know why. The answer may not be what he expected. Bro!vengers, NO SLASH. tiny sprinkle of Pepperony. Rated for mentions of abuse.

Lucky Pennies (ao3) - IamShadow21 clint/phil G, 6k

Summary: In Clint Barton's official SHIELD file, there is a supplemental form with a string of letters and numbers indicating a superhuman ability. On it, there are two pieces of information. The first is 'Asset-Reported Ability (unverified)'. The second is 'Combat/Field Applicable Ability Y/N'. 'N' is circled.

Making The Best Of It (ao3) - dentalfloss clint/phil T, 33k

Summary: “He’s not telling us everything,” Fury reached out and shut the projection off, “I’m not comfortable with this.” Coulson didn’t respond, didn’t need to. “Let Rogers know I want Barton watched; he doesn’t go anywhere alone until we understand exactly what’s going on. I’m not losing him to some egotistical mind-f***ing blade-dancer who has mentor issues and wants to take it out on our asset.”

Phil nodded efficiently. He couldn’t agree more.

My Birdy (ao3) - GayRainbowBridge tony/clint T, 1k

Summary: Clint acts a bit like a bird and Tony finds it adorable but frustrating.

On Nesting (ao3) - snack_size clint/phil M, 5k

Summary: Clint moves into Avengers Tower, and promptly takes up residence in the air ducts, including the one above Bruce's lab. It soon becomes clear that this isn't just a cracky, quirky behavior.

Ordinary Workplace Hazards, Or SHIELD and OSHA Aren't On Speaking Terms (ao3) - scifigrl47 clint/phil, steve/tony M, 25k

Clint and Phil hate playing pickup, but damn, Clint loves the Roombas, and damn, Phil loves Clint, though he's not really sure why sometimes. It's time to play Hide-And-Seek with hostile robotic AIs in the SHIELD home office.

Pavlov was a Jerk (ao3) - BeneficialAddiction clint/phil E, 77k

Summary: Clint Barton: World's Greatest Marksman, submissive, high-functioning disaster.

When Clint comes in to SHIELD he's been on his own for almost four years, and he's been keeping himself level using conditioning techniques he's learned from a lifetime of abuse and neglect. Phil Coulson is the first to notice the imbalance – Clint's system seems to be all punishment, no rewards - but Phil's tastes aren't exactly average and it's none of his business anyway. Certain that what he wants is not at all congruent with what Clint deserves Phil keeps his distance, until a mission gone wrong sends the archer tumbling into an nasty case of subdrop and neither of them have any other choice but to take a chance on the other.

That Awkward Moment When Your Whole Class Shows Up At Your House (ao3) - MurdockSchmurdock T, 25k

Summary: After May tells Midtown High about an injury Peter sustained in a Spider-man incident, he is more than content to spend the next few weeks "recuperating" at Stark/Avengers Tower. It seems the universe has other plans, however, and Peter ends up being swept into his class's field trip. At Stark Tower. Wonderful.

That One Time Clint Lived in the Vents at Stark Tower for Three Months and No One Knew (ao3) - Era_Penn tony/clint T, 4k

Summary: Tony was pretty sure there was a ghost living out its afterlife in his kitchen. He thought it must have moved in approximately two Thursdays ago, and it seemed to really enjoying cooking - especially Italian - and crappy Chinese takeout. It also seemed to be very friendly, as it always left a note that said something along the lines of ‘for my generous host’ or ‘leftovers are Tony’s, NO ONE EAT’ on top of the food.

The Things You See (fanfiction.net) - DepressingGreenie steve/tony T, 605

Summary: Clint catches Steve and Tony making out.

Watching over you (ao3) - Ruquas

Summary: He didn‘t even mean to make it a habit at first. He just wanted to make sure that Pietro was okay. Just like with Phil the first time the other man had been hurt on a mission. Or Natasha. Or Tony. Or any other member of the team. He even had slept above Steve’s quarter a few nights, and he was a super soldier.

Welcome Home (ao3) - CarlyWrites wanda/vision T, 57k

Summary: Wanda arrives at the new Avenger's facility in New York and struggles to find her place among the team while dealing with the consequences of her actions following Ultron. However, her newfound family is quickly shaken to its core when one of their own is seriously injured. Part 1 of the Natasha and Wanda Series Not CACW Compliant

Where Spider-man is Not Having a Good Time and Neither is Anyone Else (ao3) - Guessthisiswhat N/R, 13k

Summary:Stark Expo, May 2010 14 kids go missing in the attack. Only one found alive.

May 2016 Peter Parker escapes the compound he's been in for the last six years.

August 2016 Spider-man makes his first appearance.

Or Peter Parker was kidnapped by Hydra at the Stark Expo in 2010 and was never reported missing because Aunt May and Uncle Ben died in the attack. Six years later he has escaped and now takes up the Spider-man persona. Leading the Avengers to be tracking him down, all while he is homeless.

You See, It Was Like This (ao3) - WriteItSmall (scribblemyname) G, 100

Summary: "Why is Agent Barton hiding in the vent above your desk?"

#themculibrary #masterlists #marvel #mcu #clint barton #ceiling vent clint #ceiling vent clint masterlist

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