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apocalypse-shuffle · 1 year

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GOTHAM CITY SIRENS (generalized canon)

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“Harley-napping” (Harley Quinn x Poison Ivy x Selina Kyle x Fem!Reader)

| Stealing Harley from the Squad and then having a fun night out.

| SFW, mature language, criminal acts (duh), -platonic!reader/though there’s hints of something more with Cat

| You’re a thief, demolitions expert, and have EOD training in this one. Pictures used are just for aesthetics and have no contextual meaning to the story. (pic source - Batman: Arkham City video game)

| 1k+ words

| part: one of two (part two)

When you come to all that’s taking up your vision is green.

“What…the…hell?” You whine. “I didn’t steal from Black Mask again, did I?”

There’s a sound off to your left that makes you freeze but you can’t lift your head enough to see in any direction let alone that one and you groan unhappily.

The grass beneath your head seems to dance while you're forced to wait but you feel no chill. There’s no breeze against the exposed parts of your skin, just the crisp Gotham air.

“Y/n L/n.”

Deep. Feminine. Spoken with a smoothness that screamed of self assurance and superiority.

Your nostrils flare.

“Ivy,” you sigh.

A chuckle.

“Hello, Little thief.”

The dancing grass seems to perk up, listening, before the green blades start to thicken and grow longer. You eye the tendrils wearily as they come up behind you, lifting your lower body and head enough that you can finally watch Ivy standing over you from upside down.

Her face is stern, a haughty eyebrow raised as she looks into your eyes. So as charming as ever.

“I’m in need of your…expertise.”

Her words come out strained like someone’s hysically holding a gun to her head and you bite back what you immediately want to say. She wants your help as if the last time you worked together was all hugs and kisses.

“Which would be what exactly?”

“Bombs.”

You scrunch up your face, upper lip making a valiant effort to block your nostrils, while shaking your head.

“Nah, I’ve never been anywhere near a bomb before. You got the wrong bitch, sorry,” you shrug.

Now she looks irritated.

“If you’re no demolition expert then why did Cat insist I find you?”

You shrug as best you can upside down

“Don’t know? You tell me-” you abruptly stop shaking your head. “Wait Cat?”

The woman turns her head, ignoring you.

“This is ridiculous.” She looks up at something in the distance. “Why are we wasting precious time kidnapping her again?”

There’s a sigh from the direction she’s addressing and you tense up, the grass near your throat applies pressure to the side of your neck in warning. You grit your teeth, fuck tonight so much. All you wanted when you left your apartment was some damn food, and now you're hungry and tied up.

“Y/n, stop being a smart ass.”

Great. You knew that voice too.

“You know, when you’re out stealing shit I don’t call you by your civilian name.”

A chuckle right next to your ear alongside a puff of breath that makes you shiver.

“And I applaud you for such restraint considering how vocal you can get, but right now I need you to be serious.” She moves, walking till she’s standing over you side by side with an Ivy who’s trying to glare you to death. “Now let’s talk business.”

- - -

“No. Fuck no! Are you fucking crazy?”

Something that suspiciously sounds like a growl leaves Ivy and Selina looks up to the sky.

“Listen-” you cringe at the more demanding press of the plants against your neck. “Just listen, okay? Blackgait’s systems are hard to crack on a good day, but with the Squad out on a mission you know Waller’s on high alert, and I’m not Batman.”

“No. You’re better, or else we would’ve gone to him with some bullshit excuse. Uh uh-” she cuts you off as you open your mouth. “You are, and you’re going to help us get the Clown.”

“What about ‘I’m not Batman’ isn’t clicking?”

Your response makes Selina huff and she goes to answer before Ivy simultaneously cuts her sentence and your breathing off.

“Enough,” she intones.

The vines curl around the entirety of your throat in seconds, meticulously closing off your airway. You gasp, mouth and eyes widening in your shock.

“If you insist on acting guileless I will treat you as such.”

“Ivy!”

The other women’s voices disappear as your ears start to buzz, blood cut off from them in a dizzying effect. A weak sound squeezes its way past your lips before your body’s meeting the floor and your airways are free enough once more to take gasping breaths.

You cough into the prickly ground, racking heaves that shake your body so much your arms, which have gone numb from your upside down hold, give out. You gasp into the grass, each breath scratching down your trachea as your head pounds away.

It takes you what feels like hours with zero awareness of anything outside of your body to pull yourself to your knees. Everything still has a dull buzz about it, except for your body, that just pulses.

Your hand zips toward your throat.

“Fuck you, Ivy.”

She scoffs at your hoarse tone, turning and walking off.

“Not without Harley’s say so.”

You cough. Sometimes you hated Gotham and all her rampant rogues.

Selina lowers herself beside you and then she’s touching.

“You were supposed to be civil,” she says pointedly.

She tilts your head up and the leather of her gloves is gentle against your face.

“Don’t-” you jerk away. Selina makes an aggravated sound then she’s pulling you more firmly against her, hand resting on the small of your back.

“Let me see, Slick.”

“Mmmph,” you mumble but you let her other hand ease your chin up.

“She’s fine,” Ivy says.

When you glance over at her she’s poking at a particularly ergonomic looking tablet.

“How,” you stop and lick your lips, swallowing in a fruitless attempt to smooth the burn in your throat. “How are you gonna tell me?”

Ivy hefts a sigh and then looks to you.

“You are alive are you not?”

You stare after the woman, eyes widening and jaw clenching with a cock of your head.

“You-”

“Okay!” Selina cuts in before shooting a look you can’t see over at Ivy. “I can’t believe I’m the mediator here, but let’s all just take it easy.”

“As long as you do it fast.”

You sneer quietly at Ivy’s words.

“This is why I stopped working with you guys.”

“I know,” Selina murmurs, brows pinching together. “Help us out anyway? We’ll all owe you one.”

“I agreed to no such…” another look gets thrown Ivy’s way and she and Selina stare one another down. It takes a few beats of stillness but she eventually scoffs. She looks over your form coolly before sighing. “Fine. One favor if you help us get Harley out safely.”

The two of you lock eyes. Ivy’s are green, and it’s only you remembering the first time you came face to face with them and Harley’s freely thrown out whimsy that gets you to unclench your jaw. Plus, you could do a lot with a favor from one of Gotham's best rogues. Let alone three.

“Fine,” you rasp out.

You look away from Ivy as she nods and shifts her attention back to the tablet. Selina helps you up looking like she wants to touch you again, but stops herself, eyeing you apologetically.

“It’ll bruise but it shouldn’t leave any permanent damage.”

“Lucky me.”

Your head and throat were killing you. Selina gives you another apologetic look before squeezing your forearm and going to collect a duffle bag from a park bench near you all.

You press softly at your throat, wincing some at how sensitive the skin feels. By tomorrow there’ll be mulberry welts circling your neck.

Selina comes and sets the bag down in front of you, bending down to dig through it.

“Now you might be a good thief, but I’m a better one, so I’m in charge of getting Harley.”

You nod. “And you want me to work with…?”

Ivy’s suddenly right in front of you and handing you the tablet. You suck in a sharp breath at her silence then tentatively take the device from her hands. It’s wrapped in a protective case that gives it some heft. You start swiping through it. Hm.

“Are these bomb schematics?”

“Yes, and we’re gonna need you to get two of them out of Harley’s body before Waller or the team notices she’s gone.”

You glance up at her without moving your head up.

“That’s a big ask. Do you even have an approximate time that I’ll have to work with?”

“No,” Ivy quietly admits. “That’s why we got you and not anyone else. We trust you…I trust you.”

You chew on your lip for a second, swiping up at another complicated looking schematic.

“Alright. You let me look over these for a few minutes and then we should be good to go.”

Ivy nods at you before Selina stands and hands you an armful of your stuff. You roll your eyes to the sky.

“You’re horrible. How’d you even get in my apartment?”

She gives a small one shouldered shrug.

“Just because your security systems are Batman proof doesn’t mean they’re me proof, sweetie.”

She winks at you and a smile finds its way onto your face as you put on your gear. Ivy starts speaking.

“Since you’ve got your things, let’s discuss the goal. The Suicide Squad was dropped into their current mission at exactly 10:00 tonight and have been at their destination for under forty minutes…”

As she’s describing the details of the plan to you two plants slowly emerge from the ground and into her hand. She kneads patiently at the leaves, harvesting sludgy and oily substances from the respective plants into her cupped palm.

Still listening to her you pull on your elbow, knee and shin pads. Ivy kneads the plant in her palm with nimble fingers all the while. Quick extraction, take out the bombs, slip away as undetected as possible.

After that, putting on longer black pants over your exercise shorts and pads then lacing up your boots once you’ve kicked off your sneakers is all it takes to get yourself fully ready. Selina stuffs the clothes you discard into the duffel, simultaneously going back and forth with Ivy on her role.

When you’ve got your long sleeve on, gloves slipping on next, and you're dressed in all black you glance up at them both.

“Ready to go?” Selina asks.

You nod and she smiles at you before slinging the bag over her shoulder and moving towards her motorcycle. Ivy comes up to you, feet deaf in the voluminous grass.

“Eat this.”

You look hard at the hand she holds out. There’s a dollop of pale sludgy substance on it, the thing you just watched her harvest up in her palm.

When you continue to stall she cuts her eyes at you.

“I’m sorry, but I find it hard to believe you’re doing something for my benefit.”

“The plants were happy to produce for you. Are you going to make their efforts in vain, or no?”

You kiss your teeth at her dry tone before opening your mouth. She inclines her head and then shoves the mush into it. It’s just about the nastiest shit you’ve ever eaten but you're not exactly operating at 100 so you keep chewing.

“Now, me and Cat will deal with getting Harley out. But while I can handle most of the squad while Selina slips her out without tipping off Waller, someone's got to take care of the crocodile.”

NOTES: After tons of consideration I’ve decided that this’ll be my first post of the new year, so hope you enjoyed!

Btw: Comments would be appreciated if you wanted to leave one! I read all of them, I only don’t respond cause this is a side blog.

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witchthewriter · 2 years

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𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐏𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐈𝐯𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ female, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

𝑺𝑭𝑾🌿

⭑ A lot of dance parties with Harley, and you have to pull Ivy into joining

⭑ Harley really likes ABBA, and you three often watch the Mamma Mia movies

⭑ You all live together, with all separate rooms (so a person can escape whenever they wanted to)

⭑ The place is full of plants, just absolutely hundreds of them; dangling from the ceiling, on window sills, in the bathroom, etc.

⭑ You have a collection of books and Harley will bring you back at least 3 whenever she goes out

⭑ Ivy is actually super ticklish and whenever she’s upset at what Harley’s done, Harley will chase her around the apartment, trying to get Ivy to forgive her

⭑ Ivy is always chastising Harley for deliberately getting the lyrics wrong in a song. She does it just to piss her off

⭑ Harley initially thought you and Ivy talking to the plants was stupid, but whenever she thinks she’s alone, you can hear her having full blown conversations with (to) them

⭑ Harley gets upset if she falls asleep on the couch and you guys go to bed. So now you have to carry her to bed. She usually sleeps in the middle while you guys cuddle up next to her

⭑ Ivy beomes really out-going/funny when she’s had a few drinks. And it’s a common occurance for her to break out on song. But she’ll deny it in the morning.

⭑ Um you guys definitely keep news paper articles about your shenanigans ... okay maybe they shouldn’t be called shenanigans, more like crimes ...

⭑ Your periods are definitely synched up, but Ivy has plants that can alleviate the cramps. And in the bathroom, there’s an array of pads, tampons, diva cups, re-usable pads etc., (obviously you know who owns which when it comes to reusable ones)

⭑ Whenever you’re making a promise you and Harley do the pinky thing, but if they’re even bigger promises - or even bets, then you do a spit shake.

⭑ Ivy thinks it’s absolutely disgusting, but she gets so used to it that she joins in too

⭑ Being each other’s best friends

⭑ Having Selina over for dinner

⭑ And you guys probably have super obscure pets - like yes, Harley would most definitely have her hyena named Bruce, and Ivy made a living Venus Fly Trap, like one that seems almost sentient and you just want a goddamn dog, or even a cat. But they refuse, and you point out their pets -

⭑ So then they agree

⭑ But you can’t decide what to get

⭑ And maybe one time when Selina is over for dinner, she says that she found a stray that doesn’t like being around too many other cats, so you say you’ll take him

⭑ But then you realise a few months later that the reason why the cat didn’t like being around other cats was because it wasn’t a he, but a she THAT IS NOW PREGNANT

⭑ “Awww we’re gonna be grandparents!” Harley cooed when you guys figured it out

⭑ “Well we can’t have all of them, and Selina already has an apartment full.” Ivy stated, but you wanted to keep all of them so desperately.

⭑ Your cat still hasn’t given birth yet, but she’s so big that all she can do is lay down all-day. You can find her on your bed, snoozing in the sunlight.

⭑ And she actually really likes Bruce (the hyena)

⭑ Harley particularly likes to sit on your lap, and Ivy likes to rest her head on your shoulder

⭑ You usually make dinner

⭑ Ivy cleans up

⭑ Harley will go and get the groceries

⭑ Sometimes you do all sleep in the same bed, but the majority of each of your belongings are in your separate rooms

⭑ Harley will leave lipstick marks on your cheek

⭑ And you’ll find red/orange hair in the bathroom, but you can’t deny that you love these women.

⭑ Theme Song:

‘Lay All Your Love On Me’ by Pale Honey

⭑ Relationship Tropes:

✧ Touch Either Of My Girlfriends And You Die x3

✧ Dumbass (Harley) x Dumbass In Training (You) x Oh God I Guess They’re My Dumbasses (Ivy)

✧ Moon (Ivy) x Eclipse (Harley) x Sun (You)

#harley quinn #dating harley quinn would include #harleen quinzel #harley quinn x you #harley quinn x reader #poison ivy #poison ivy headcanons #poison ivy x reader #poison ivy x you #dating poison ivy would include #poison ivy x harley quinn #harley quinn x y/n #harley quinn x reader x ivy #ivy x harley #ivy x harley x reader

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