#Pitch Her Productions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vergess · 9 days

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I think it's extremely funny that Taylor Swift just beat the gay allegations so completely, and her new song is playing out an intox kink with Florence Welch

#Automatic OP tag #You have to consider the production timeline she works on. This song must have been pitched prior to the recent flare up of gay allegations #And this is so incomprehensibly funny to me #I have my many many many many criticisms of Ms. T. Swift #But I will give full credit to the artistic integrity of whatever happened here #Good for her #Florida by Taylor Swift #Taylor Swift #Florida!!!#Florida!!! (Taylor SWift)#The Tortured Poets Department #Wait what the fuck is this album title #I ONLY JUST READ THIS #WOW #SHE REALLY SAID HERE TRANSSEXUAL BESTIES EAT UP #Florence Welch #florence and the machine

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newdejavuu · 10 months

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#i am NOT a taylor swift fan so the fact i didn't like the collab is not surprising to me #i just dont get why you'd extend the offer of a collaboration to such a talented vocalist like patrick #(who could have performed in his higher register if that was what taylor + producers wanted)#with some weird vocal filter or pitch manipulator #like. that is NOT patrick's voice and the volume of his parts blend unnecessarily into the rest of the music so you cant HEAR him anyway #what you do hear sounds almost indistinguishable from taylor's parts so. why even ask him to feature on the song aksjdfdklas #bad production choices were made imo #i have much more to say akjdljskfja but i know a lot of people really really like taylor's music so i don't want to shit on it so much #but anyway. it was like a 4/10 for me #taylor swift #anti taylor swift #(not really but I do NOT want her fans coming after me)

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this-is-wilhom · 6 months

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PSA: NEW MURDERBOT BOOK IS OUT AND IM TURNING INTO A NUCLEAR BOMB

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ssaalexblake · 1 year

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i’m still mad about that dw magazine what the future looks like headline lol

#dw shit #the future looks like a white man from 20 years ago stealing the thunder of the black man we hired! how great!#the worst thing abt it is i believe them #strongly suspect the only character that will get respect will be the new blonde (non derogatory i just don't know her or her #character's name)#because she's what #abt 20 and blonde which is approximately the only subset of women in rtd's dw that ever got respect #i'm Mostly just wondering if the fandom will just Let It Go because nostalgia #or pitch a hissy fit wondering what happened to how great it all was not realising that it really Was a product #of its time #(upon rewatch i just let a bunch of stuff go bc of this reason but... If little has changed we've got a joss whe/don sitch on our hands)#(i'm not sure what would be worse btw. either way i'll be irritated)#and yes i have very intentionally Not complained for a long time i am allowed to on occasion #especially considering that was Super tone deaf and Veeeeeery telling #who okayed that???? who???

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latenightsinpemberley · 10 months

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barbie movie press really gonna make me go on an amy schumer defence spree huh

#my rants #*deep sigh*#every once in a while a post about her pitching a different version circulares on twitter and to no one's surprise everyone's trashing her #for not being thin and conventionally attractive like margot as if it's an original take #but what also bugs me is that she's getting heat for wanting to make barbie the butt of the joke in her versiom #bc its so Not Like Other Girls of her to not treat barbie like a feminist product ig #i don't even like this woman but the responses are getting on my nerves fr #and im not even being a hater. i like gerwigs work and im sure ill enjoy the movie. what im NOT gonna enjoy are the 728636926 think pieces #about the inherent feminist value of femininity and how misogynistic it is to criticise a toy that promotes an unrealistic and unhealthy #body image and has done so for decades💀💀#it's the latest in a series of libfem bs about femininity being marginalised 😴

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whlskr · 1 year

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Also I made accounts for Cauterized and the characters

I wish I could express how good these urls are for them

I'm going to carefully start doing actual promoting once I figure out a few more things and have at least one episode recorded. I'm putting together some resources so I can do a countdown drip feed. I'm hoping I get to actually launch everything by April. It'll probably be May, though.

#Sure would be nice if I could pitch this to a production group but I'm digging this foundation and it's gonna stand on good feet #The character accounts are also part of my promotion idea like that one tumblr post where the users play with jpegs like dolls originated #Cauterized #Kadin has a weak one but I think kadin would just be that way. I think if kadin had a blog or would be 100% reblogs with no tags #Bunnie is a shit poster and so is brook #Naomi is a dino lover/pet blogger lmao #Brook's shitposting would be like true shitposting but Bunnie also has some drawings and pictures of the brapts #Bunnie actually uses her's like a blog but less serious than Naomi #Naomi is like dinos and Birdy ONLY

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crowties · 2 years

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have u seen seeles one day adventure

god i have. mihoyo fed us sooo good that day. i rewatch it on bad days just to remind myself that at least the bronseele polycule agenda is real

#also veliona centric canon production would i even be able to call myself a veliona enjoyer if i havent seen it #theoretical shame on me #its so sweet and also so unbelievably gay kudos to whoever pitched it at the mhy board meeting #fun fact seeles one day adventure was my first introduction to veliona #saw it on my youtube recommendations and found her to be sooo scrunkly #tadaa!! and here we are #veliona vollerei #seele vollerei #hi3 #asks

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prettiepalette · 3 months

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im having the worst migraine of my life, like I am drinking litres of water, throwing up and repeating type of bad, and so I had some special herbs..

next thing I know I'm watching an hour long my little pony generation three iceberg video whilst searching through the generation 3 tag on tumblr by new and losing my mind in the tags of every single reblog; it's definitely an improvement that's for sure.

edit: yes I may of edited the tags on this post and yes I may have ended up just talking about how much I love my girlfriend

#my little pony generation 3 #my little pony #g3 #my little pony generation three #i should mention i kept pausong the video to tell everything to my girlfriend #i took photos of all the ones i thought she would find pretty #shes asleep after a long day #i miss her so much #i love her so much #i literally cannot wait till she wakes up #she was really sick today too but i tried my best to take care of her #i just only want her to be the happiest #weve been watching shark tank nonstop and i gave her a big pitch about a product that theoritically could make us millions but i dont care #aboit rbe money weve jusf been watchinf do much shark tank and imahinr creafing something like that together?#i jusf love her and she deserves the best i want to give her the best #shes my princess and she needs to be treated like it

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darudedogestorm · 9 months

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lps love doctor 101 lives in my brain for ever all time i'm so mad it's lost media

#i remember being like 10 years old waiting with baited breath for each new episode to come out #of season 1 anyway i wasnt as big a fan of season 2 #i forget what her name was i think it was rebecca. the lizard one. i know she was a finalist but i absolutely do not remember if she won #and not knowing kills me . she deserved the world..#awesome possum productions lpstube viewers if you're out there..#low pitched finite woofing

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justsomehazbin · 2 months

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Holy SHIT am I proud of this. It took a day and a HALF to work on it. I really just wanted to draw a cool badass picture of Charlie in a cute dress, and somehow I ended up with my best piece I think I've ever done!!

To see the process, click the 'read more' below!

Otherwise:

Main blog over here

My Etsy Shop!

Originally, I wanted it to look more like a royal portrait, a good excuse to draw a pretty dress.

I adored the dress design, but it was an extremely flat image, so despite taking like. 5 hours to design it and work on it, I rethought my plan, switching to a far more dynamic pose.

I also made sure to add tons of flow lines, both from her hair, to her tail, to help bring the eye all around the canvas.

I did a billion sketches, but this is what I ended up on! Originally I had her right arm holding the pitch fork behind her back, but it just never looked right. I also took a risk and did a facial angle that has always been extremely hard to get right, and somehow I managed to make it look nice!

After adding the lineart, colors and all of that, I knew quickly I didn't want the angel to stick out as much as she did. I wanted her to fall into the background instead, since she was just on the border and I didn't want any attention really taken from Charlie. So I changed her shade to red, and from there I added more of the background details!

Okay I did leave some inbetween screenshots out but it's past my bedtime. I hope this was fun to look at, at least!

Final product once more!

#charlie morningstar #artists on tumblr #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel season 1 #hazbin #vivziepop #cqart

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fuckyeahgoodomens · 2 months

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youtube

Very funny Staged-like opening of BAFTAs 2024 with David and Michael! :D ❤

David: Can you hear me? Michael, how is it going.

Michael: Yeah, I don't have time for pleasantries, David. Some of us are big in America. In fact, I have a zoom with LA in ten minutes.

David: It's 04:00 a.m. in LA.

Michael: Well, that was the only time I could fit them in, so they're getting up early. Anyway, look, I just wanted to confirm, I'm going to drop the new dog off on Sunday morning. We've called him Bark Ruffalo. It's cute isn’t it?

David: That is actually quite good. But listen, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I'm afraid I can’t dog sit on Sunday.

Georgia: Oh, hi, Michael.

Michael: Yeah, hi, Georgia. Look, I don't want any of your excuses, David, you promised. I can't leave him with a neighbour because he peed in her kitchen.

Georgia: Right. Whereas we are desperate for him to come and pee in our kitchen.

David: I know that I did promise to dog sit on Sunday but since I promised, something else has come up and I-

Michael: Well, that sounds like a you problem.

David: Hi, Stan how are things?

Stanley Tucci: Hi, David. How are you?

David: Okay, listen, I need a favour. Michael Sheen has asked me to look after his dog on Sunday, but I agreed to host the BAFTA Film Awards on the same day. I was wondering if you could look after his dog for me?

Stanley Tucci: I would love to do that for you, David.

David: Oh, Stan, you're a lifesaver. Thank you so much.

Stanley Tucci: Is there anything else I can do for you?

David: No, looking after the dog is... I mean, that's obviously amazing.

Stanley Tucci: I could wash your car or something or the windows in your home.

David: You're not really gonna look after the dog, are you?

Stanley Tucci: And the BAFTA for Catching On Very Quickly goes to...

David: Himesh! Oh, Himesh, I think your computer is frozen. Oh, no it’s not frozen because I just saw someone.

Himesh Patel: Look, I know you're just calling because you want something from me.

David: Yeah. What are you doing on Sunday? Oh for crying out loud. Tom Hiddleston!

Tom Hiddleston: Hey, David. What's the pitch?

David: Pitch is dog sitting for Michael Sheen.

Tom Hiddleston: Wow. Okay. Yeah. Interesting. I'm guessing that we're going for, like, funny.

David: Could be funny, it’s a cute dog.

Tom Hiddleston: Yeah, I suppose the dog sitter initially could present as benign, and then he and the dog get up to all kinds of hijinx and ultimately disrupt stuffy old Michael Sheen's boring life. But for the better.

David: Listen did your agent tell you that I wanted to talk to you about a film?

Tom Hiddleston: Well yeah, obviously, unless you're actually, you know, calling me to ask me to dogsit for Michael Sheen.

David: No. Oh. Dame Judi. Long time no see.

Judi Dench: I thought you were going to be that beautiful Michael Sheen. What do you want?

David: Well, I wonder if you'd be up for a bit of dog sitting. I promised to look after Bark Ruffalo for Michael on Sunday, but I'm double booked.

Judi Dench: David. Bark Ruffalo. He pees everywhere. And anyway, I shall be watching a BAFTA Film Awards with a big glass of champagne. What's with the kilt?

David: Wait and see.

Judi Dench: Ooh.

David: Hi, David Tennant signing in. There's a courier here with something for production.

announcement: David Tennant to stage. David Tennant to stage.

David: Hi. Hello. Hi, everyone. Hi. Hi. Hi there.Sorry. I've got-Are you good with dogs? Yeah, and not on your dress. I'm sorry. Thank you. Hi. Hi. Sorry. Hello. Hello. Hi. This is fine. This is fine. This is. Michael? Michael?! What? What is this?

Michael: What are you doing there?

David: I'm hosting the show.

Michael: What?!

David: This is why you wanted me to dog sit, so you could sit there?

Michael: Yeah.

David: You going to have to take the dog.

Michael: What? What if I have to go up on the stage to be given an award? Yeah. All right. Give me.

David: Yeah. Come on. Get that one. You take that. And this weird thing.

Michael: Was this Scottish man mean to you? All right, come on to me. Oh, darling, hello, hello.

David: Never work with animals or Michael Sheen. Not a great start. Not a great start. Don't worry, though, tonight is going to go smoother than Ken's chest. For one thing, he's not a dog anyway. He is actually being played by Andy Serkis. Look at that. What a performance. Andy.

#david tennant #michael sheen #staged #david and michael #funny #videos #transcripts #bafta 2024 #awwwww #stanley tucci #himesh patel #tom hiddleston #judi dench #Youtube

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skelly-words · 3 months

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Pt 2. of Bring Your Tentacle to Work Day

Okay, here you go… same tags as before + some girl-on-girl

Part 3

NSFW, no minors 18+, no children, go away

You don't expect this, your coworker's shyness quickly melts away. Replaced by curiosity as she watches cum drip out of you, obscenely splattering on the floor and dribbling down your legs in thin blue ribbons.

"Where do I get one of those?" She points a shaky finger at your cunt, at the thin tentacle that takes forever to slide out of you.

A low whine leaves your throat as your pussy squeezes around the suckers. they are dragged along your sensitive insides until you're left completely empty. Satisfied with itself, the tentacle begins to wind comfortably around your hip and thigh.

You turn around, avoiding her sparkling eyes as they greedily take you in.

"Um, i-it's work issued. For productivity," you say softly, still looking at the floor. Her shoes shuffle towards you to make the tight stall seem even smaller.

She softly strokes your cheek, trailing a less innocent hand under your skirt to feel at the monster wrapped around your thigh.

"Can you use it on me?" You can feel her hot breath against your face as she leans closer. Her touches are so gentle, waiting for you to guide her, teach her.

You look up at her between damp lashes, her pretty blushing lips are pouting until you say, yes, and start to kiss her. It quickly turns to a messy makeout as your hands crawl up her skirt. She moans into your mouth as her black panties come down around her stilettos.

You can feel how wet her pussy is as she grinds against your thigh, leaving stickiness glossing your skin. The tentacle smells her arousal and loosens on your thigh, shifting and readjusting to bump her clit better.

She pulls away from your lips with a pop as the blue appendage skims up the curve of her ass. She looks at you, a lewd look of excitement flashing across her features as you hear the tentacle pop into her butt. She pants, heavier and quicker than before and clings to your hips for support.

"What? Is it too much?" You tease.

Her hands tighten on you as the thing starts to figure out how to make her squirm. She hides her soft noises in your neck with her drool pooling in the dips of your collar bones. You begin to undo her blouse. The black buttons come undone, one after the other.

She can't let you go, so the silk hangs around her elbows. Her cute little moans and the slick sound of the tentacle filling her up are making your pussy start to throb again.

She gets too loud as you play with her nipples. Your cool touch is torture on the brown buds, stiffening as you roll them back and forth between your fingers. Her perky tits get pinker as you pinch at them and her moans pitch higher. You can feel yourself getting warmer too, abandoning one of her breasts to roll a palm against your cunny.

She's on her knees as soon as your hand drops, pushing your arm and panties aside to nose at your clit. Now you're the one being too loud, whimpering into your clean hand as she shoves her tongue into you.

"I'll cum soon-," she gasps against you, cut off as you try to catch up, hand tangled in her hair to press her closer. She looks up at you, eyes going in and out of focus. The brown fabric of her skirt is bunched around her waist. You can't see the tentacle except for the bulge in her tummy as it fills her up. Two fingers begin to stretch you open. You're so easy to push into, so she forces them as deep as she can reach. She knows what to do when your breath comes faster, latching her perfect lips around your clit as she milks your g-spot.

"Please." It almost hurts, but you're so close to orgasm that you can't seem to care. "I can't squirt again."

Her nods tug at your clit and her fingers are insistent. The digits fuck your pussy into a creamy mess. A third slipping into you makes your thighs start to shake. You cry out as you cum, gushing down her lips and chin as she sucks you through it.

A single tear traces down her cheek, falling into the crease of your thigh. "It's not letting me cum." She leans back to show you her twitching cunt. The tentacle has stilled in her stuffed pussy, leaving her needy and begging.

"That's because it's mine, baby. You'd need to get your own for it to do that." You laugh softly and start to pull your pet out of her. A parting kiss on her puffy lips leaves your mouth wet from her juices.

You straighten your clothes and clean up before leaving the bathroom, fixing any smudged makeup as you hear her desperately trying to cum in the back stall.

Those who asked to be tagged- @mishaglass @gummie-soup + the anon ask

I saw someone comment about eggs on the last part and it kinda had me thinking... I have like no time to write anymore but drop me some inspiration anyway

#nsft tentacles #monster fucker #tentacles #skel writes tentacles #tentacle smut #tentacular

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ecoamerica · 23 days

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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girlgenius1111 · 4 months

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didn't mean to forget you

alexia realizes she hasn’t been giving r enough attention. r promises her she’s not a bad girlfriend.

mostly fluff :)

It had been a long year. Alexia's knee rehab was grueling; the physical part almost as painful as it was for her to be off the pitch. You'd found yourself doing everything you could for her in the aftermath of the surgery, and hadn't really stopped. Things had definitely calmed down since she'd returned home from Australia, but still, you did most of the stuff around the house, most of the cooking, most of the cleaning.

You didn't mind at first, especially with how often Alexia thanked you. You still didn't really mind, knowing you were significantly less busy than your girlfriend, you just wished sometimes she'd make a little more time for you. You didn't doubt her love for you, but when she'd come home to a perfectly clean house and a cooked dinner, and not bother with more than a thank you before sitting down on the couch, silently asking for quiet, it made you feel unappreciated.

You knew it wasn't on purpose, the two of you had just gotten into a routine. The tasks you did didn't seem to be out of your way, they just seemed... regular. You'd thought about bringing it up to her, but she was so stressed, so exhausted, it didn't seem fair to make her feel bad about something you'd get over.

What you didn't count on, though, was for her to notice.

It happened after training one day, a nice fall evening. Alexia had gotten home late, stuck in meetings, and had missed dinner. She'd gotten caught up talking to Mapi after the meeting, when the defender had said something that really made her think. She mentioned how she had a whole list of chores to do that she'd been neglecting, and Ingrid was going to start withholding sex if she didn't get productive.

Alexia was amused, and then, rapidly distracted. She couldn't remember the last time she'd done a chore, done anything around the house. Done anything with you, outside of spending time together after training. The last real date you'd been on had been in Australia, when she'd had a day off.

Australia, when you'd taken weeks off of work as a photographer to come cheer her on at the world cup. She hadn't even asked; you'd always just... been going with her.

When she walked in the house and noticed that you'd eaten alone, she felt a pang of guilt; she'd forgotten to text you that she'd be home late. Still, you greeted her with a big smile and a soft kiss on the lips.

"How was training?" You asked, pulling away from her warm embrace to instinctually grab an ice pack for her knee. The action startled her; she hadn't even asked for ice, yet you were getting it anyway. How often did you do that? Anticipate what she needed, and get it for her before she could ask?

"Ale? Everything alright?" You asked, as she still hadn't responded.

"Si, yes. Training was good." She was suddenly struck with the need to spend time with you, to do something you enjoyed. "Do you want to go for a walk before it gets dark?" She asked, taking the ice pack out of your hands, and throwing it carelessly on the couch.

The smile that lit up your face at her suggestion made her want to cry. Your smile was her favorite thing, but for this small thing to excite you so much... she'd dropped the ball.

"Yeah!" You told her excitedly. "Let me get my coat!" You scampered off to the closet, leaving Alexia standing with an ever growing feeling of guilt. She looked around the room, really noticing for the first time how clean it was; not a speck of dust in sight. She could see a plate wrapped up for her in the kitchen, presumably of the dinner you'd cooked her. On the couch was a load of laundry you'd done. All of this, on top of your job. Alexia suddenly couldn't remember the last time she'd thought to stop, and thank you. For doing all of the things she didn't have the energy for, without ever making her feel guilty.

Your return startled her out of her thoughts, grin still stretched across your face as you laced your fingers with hers. She couldn't fight the smile her lips pulled up into at your excitement, but the overwhelming sensation she was feeling was guilt.

"Ready?"

"Si, vamos, mi amor."

You walked in relative silence for a a bit, hand in hand, enjoying the gentle breeze, and the slightly cool air. Alexia was caught in her thoughts, you could tell, and you waited patiently for her to tell you what was going on. After a couple minutes, you glanced over at her, and were startled to see tears gathered in her eyes.

"Ale, baby, what's wrong?" You asked, stopping her and turning her towards you. She wiped harshly at her eyes, shaking her head. "Si, come on, tell me." You insisted.

"I'm so sorry, y/n," was all she managed, before she was back to crying. You didn't know what was going on, but the feeling that you got whenever you saw Alexia cry, the feeling to make it stop, no matter what you had to do, took over. You led her over to a bench in a mostly empty park overlooking the beach.

"What are you sorry for, pretty girl?" you questioned, keeping her hand tightly gripped in yours, even as you sat next to her.

"I've been so awful to you," she cried, biting her lip hard to pull herself together.

"Ale, what the hell are you talking about?" Her emotional state was starting to scare you; Alexia wasn't one to cry, and it seemed like whatever she was crying about had to do with you.

"You do everything, the dishes, cleaning, the laundry. I barely say thank you. You took weeks off work to come to the world cup with me. I haven't taken you on a date since then, and it's been months. We never do anything fun, anything you want to do, and I didn't even notice. I'm a horrible girlfriend," she finished, lip quivering as she looked at you, with so much guilt, so much sorrow, you felt your heart shatter.

"You are not a horrible girlfriend. You've had an insane year, the least I can do is support you," you told her, placing both hands on her cheeks in an effort to make her listen.

"And now you have to comfort me, because I'm crying, because I've realized I'm a horrible girlfriend," she continued, not really hearing you.

"Alexia Putellas, do not say that again," you firmly told her, and her eyes flew up to yours at your sudden change in tone. "You are my favorite person. You've gone through so much this year, of course you've been distracted. I want to do anything that makes it easier on you, truly," you paused. You didn't want to lie, but you really didn't want to make her feel any worse.

"I mean, yeah, it's been a while since you've taken me on a date, or since we've done anything together except hangout and watch TV. And yeah, sometimes I wish you'd make more time for me," at this, Alexia’s looked like you’d just told her that her entire family was dead, and it was her fault. You rushed to continue, wanting to rid her of guilt as fast as humanely possible. “But I get it, I really do. You don’t need to feel guilty, Alexia, I’m not upset.”

“You should be,” she said miserably.

“Well, I’m not. I’ll only be upset if you insist on feeling guilty.”

She looked conflicted, and you laughed.

“Alexia, my love, it’s okay. If you really want to, we can go back home and you can wait on me and fold the laundry. And tomorrow you can take me out to dinner. And after that, you can take more time for me, in general.”

The Catalan suddenly looked determined. Without another word uttered, she grabbed your hand and stood up, pulling you back in the direction of your apartment. You suddenly weren’t sure you’d have very much to do in the coming days. When Alexia got her mind on something, she always did it, all the way. Always.

- - - - -

This would be how you found yourself in the bathtub, an absurd amount of candles lit, wrapped up in Alexia’s arms as she lay soft kisses on your temple every so often.

You were incredibly relaxed, and incredibly comfortable.

“I love you, y/n. So much. I’m sorry I haven’t been better about showing it.” She whispered eventually.

“I know you do, love. I’ve never doubted that. I love you too, ridiculous girl.”

“Ridiculous?!” she cried, looking offended

“You just tried to feed me a chocolate covered strawberry. In the bath. You also lit every candle we have in the house. We got home 20 minutes ago, Alexia, and I didn’t even know we had strawberries. Or chocolate.”

She huffed indignantly, and you laughed, pressing back against her, even though you were already as close to her as you could get.

“You’re my favorite person. Any time I get to spend with you is special, because you are special. I don’t care what we do, as long as I get to do it with you.” You told her, allowing yourself to really be vulnerable for the first time that evening.

“Joder, y/n,” she choked out, and you realized she was crying again.

“Ale, what’s gotten into you? Crying twice in one day?”

“Cállate,” she responded, but it really lacked any bite when she said it through tears.

“My sensitive girl,” you teased.

“Only for you.” she promised, and you tilted your head to look up at her. Green eyes found yours, sparkling with love and unshed tears. You reached up, wiping a stray tear off her face, before tugging her down to kiss you.

Her lips pressed against yours, moving perfectly in sync. They were soft and full, and they expressed all the love that Alexia felt for you, all the love that she wasn’t always able to express.

- - - - -

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader

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ghosty1111 · 2 years

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mental health vent undercut teehee *anime head bonk* ^ڡ^

im so worried that the company i interviewed at isnt gonna get back to me. ive been applying to jobs for almost 3 years now and ive only gotten one other interview before this(that i got rejected from). the interviewer mixed up on telling me what job i was being interviewed for(i applied to 2 at the company) and didnt tell me the real one until the end of the interview. so i fear i messed it up by talking about it in the context of a different job. i emailed them after this about it and its almost been a week(the interviewer said theyd get back to me in a couple days).

the other problem im having is ive been avoiding replying to emails for the """job""" i technically have as an assistant art teacher for bday parties for some art company bc ive been so convinced i wont do well at the job due to my mental health and i shouldnt do it. i have one already booked for the 6th so i have no choice, the emails were for other future work. im embarrassed that i cant just get myself to do something even this small, but also my brain has become All Or Nothing levels of stubborn in regard to work(either i get a fulltime wellpaying job that can allow me to move out or it isnt worth it). even tho this job would be good for SOME money, my brain keeps trying to convince me that im too fatigued and suicidal and its not worth it at this point. that i deserve better.

im tired of being stubborn and having high expectations for life but i cant help it if i want something worthwhile after spending every single day feeling like shit and hating being alive. they all said this feeling would eventually go away if i continued to work on fixing it. but it hasnt. everyone makes fun of this 'negative teenage view' of life, but why would i want to make something that makes me feel worse? its not as easy as just 'changing your views and faking it' trust me ive tried so many times. and i burnout so fast every time. my body isnt meant to live like that and i hate it.

my mom said that i shouldnt get a fulltime job bc what if i cant handle it, and i said that i would rather try an option that would potentially change my life and find out for sure that im not meant for being alive, rather than wasting my energy on something that changes nothing. i hate my suicidal mentality.

#vent #'but u live w ur mom in a room w so much stuff and computers and video games and everything u could ever need🙄'#it takes so much of my energy just to play mobile games. i have to force myself to play MOBILE GAMES in order to actually 'do' something.#and often thatll only last a week or so before i burnout. from mobile games. then im back to doing nothing till i can get back into it.#ive been trying to get myself to use my laptop again lately(just so i can be in a sitting position out of bed)#and even then its like twice a week #and i dont play games or do anything. not even reading anymore.#recently i made a goal to SORT BOOKMARKS and even then its a challenge #i take vitamins i eat healthy i even go for walks and get fresh air(habit ive had for years now that i dont associate with productivity)#(mostly bc its only at night and i go sit in a park and daydream for hours)#the only semi productive thing i do daily is journal(bc i have no other way to deal with my emotions and need to catalog everything)#i cant go simply try to get a job at my moms work anymore bc her office is too hot for my autistic ass #(same thing happened near the end of her last job and she got annoyed that i was leaving early so often)#i miss being able to draw i miss being able to read i miss being able to play video games i miss being able to feel hopeful for my future #if i could draw and write i'd be able to finish my cool amazing pitches and go pitch them and the companies would love me and give me money #(delusional)#(i can say that in a funny way bc i actually have delusions)

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moondirti · 21 days

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due to popular demand, a follow up to this featuring: 18+ content, gaz, ballerina!reader, internet stalking, men being gross, another a thinly veiled character study

Kyle is a good man.

Granted, his metric is not attuned to common standards for morality anymore, nor has it been that way since basic. He's sure that if he were to pick any sheltered samaritan off the street to read out his laundry list of transgressions, they'd balk at the fact that their taxes go to keeping him fed. They'd rather their image of the army stay unsullied and ideal. They'd rather keep him at arms length with a thank you for your service and not confront the blood caked beneath his fingernails.

But he can no longer be held to their degree. No longer exists within these spaces. No. Kyle – or Gaz, if one were to go off of what he's called most often nowadays – is a doorstop. A pestle. Something inconspicuous, obscure, that serves the sole function of making life easier for everyone but itself. And he assumes this role with a handful of others who have nothing else to live for, exiled to crowd the back of Foxhounds and kill at a moment's notice. Foul men. Friends.

If someone were to line up every operative on a special forces unit, or better yet collect the likes of the 141 and asses each for their moral standing, Gaz can rest knowing he'd come out on top. He's not yet as far gone as they are; can enjoy a night out or a pretty bird writhing underneath him without wanting to choke her out. Only devoted to his captain, or the others, to the extent that their professional relationship calls for (no matter how much it itches at him to watch Ghost take care of Soap, or to reject Price when he offers him a drink).

Sure, he laughs at their jokes. Might pitch in when they're swapping stories of their filthiest catch, Soap rattling on about the lass who'd stuffed her tongue up his arse, or encourage them to shoot on sight if they spot a potential threat, civilian or otherwise. Yet the difference is this: when he goes home, he can stuff that all away.

Knows not to let it infest the boundaries of the real world. Off deployment, his comrades play pretend at the noncombatant lifestyle, but the guise is ill-fitting. They're too big for their skin. They stretch and tear at the conventions holding them in place, like feral dogs made to heel. Kyle doesn't have to be tamed. He's still functional, familiar with the expectations held of him. Can submit to integrity more easily than most.

Kyle is a good man.

And that's what he tells himself as he returns home, train car completely void of anyone but himself. He's good for having given you up. He's good for not have followed you home. There'd been a brief lapse of judgement, but he's good for doing something about it before things passed the point of no return.

You've lived this far without his protection, he reasons. Yet it doesn't change the unreachable itch, closed away in a supposedly locked box. Gaz. Or, his captain's voice, cigar-smoked and advisory.

But why should you continue like that.

It's hard to fall asleep that night.

He's sick with worry wondering if you ever got home, bile broiling and distending up his throat at the thought of having abandoned you. It's pure concern that compels him to find your socials, really. Kyle is only searching for an update, or recent post, indicating that you're alive.

With nothing to go off of but a face, he searches for dance studios in both Acton Town, your area, and the Kensington, the area where you'd boarded the tube from. He makes a shortlist of the most reputable ones (your attire seemed to imply that you were a seasoned ballerina) and cross-checks them as hosts of upcoming recitals. Two renditions of Swan Lake and a production of Giselle turn up, each with their very own cast lists. Thus begins a tireless search of every name credited.

His heart almost leaps out of his nose when you eventually load into view, then plummets at how easy you'd been to find.

Your vulnerability only sets Kyle's conviction in stone. Bloody good thing he's got your best interests in mind.

Locked twitter, a LinkedIn, and a public Instagram page which sends his blood pressure skyrocketing after checking your follower count. Popular. And of course he can see why. Over a hundred posts chronicling bright smiles and flattering outfits. You mainly use the account to promote your practice, though; feed full of skimpy little outfits, leotards and exposed sternums and impossible poses.

Stop it. He's here for something specific.

Kyle sips in a deep breath, scrolls back to the top of your page, clicks on your most recent post. A casual video of your leg raised on a barre while your friend counts how high above your previous record you're able to stretch. Your skin is sweat-slicked. Your mouth is thrown open in a half-laugh, half-pant. He almost forgets why he clicked on it in the first place, before the timestamp catches his eye.

30 minutes ago.

So, you'd gotten home.

He can go to bed now.

Exit your account. Swipe up on Instagram to clear it from his running apps. If he's extra disciplined, he'd block you. Rob himself of the temptation to tug himself over the photo of you in the splits.

Kyle is a good man because he knows his limits.

(But Kyle now also knows the address of your studio. That, even if he blocks you, it'll take up space in his chest. A ticking-time bomb. A knowledge that'll haunt him whenever he's on the District, Circle, or Piccadilly lines, and the train announces Gloucester Road. A force, a stone in his throat, that'll grow so large it'll force him to stand up and disembark, to walk until he's standing right outside and wait on you to wrap up rehearsal.)

It occurs to him that the point of no return has long since passed.

inclusivity note: i felt the need to say that, while reader is a dancer, her profession is not meant to imply anything about her body type. flexibility and agility are not limited to thin builds, and while the ballet industry can be very toxic, i've seen my fair share of spaces where all figures are embraced and success is determined only by ability!

#ooo i love him a little delusional actually #kyle 'gaz' garrick x reader #gaz x reader #kyle gaz garrick #kyle 'gaz' garrick #gaz #kyle garrick #gaz garrick #cod #call of duty #x reader #x afab reader #tw stalking

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sidsinning · 2 months

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To expand on Lucifer's neglect more

Yes he loves Charlie dearly, yes he showers her with his love and affection and semi-approval ("it's uh...got a lot of character!") when he sees her after all these years for the first time, yes he is desperately trying to switch back her reliance on Alastor to reliance on him- all these feelings are real and strong when she's right in front of him

-but when she isn't he is back in his own little world and rubber ducks. When he doesn't see Charlie in person she becomes white noise to him besides fleeting moments of courage and pining he gets to try and connect with her again. These are the moments where he regains a bit of clarity on just how fucked his family situation is.

He knows he has to maintain his connection with her somehow while also battling his own depression and urge to isolate and block off the rest of the world. They're in limbo of whether or not their relationship will finally be unrepairable, also expressed in how him and Lilith are not fully divorced, but still separated, with him still clearly loving her bc he still wears his wedding ring.

I love him, I think his love for Charlie is stronger than anything in his life, and I know he'd do anything he could for her (besides the one thing she asked which is very unluckily directly connected to his trauma)

But it's true that he doesn't listen to her, doesn't keep up with how her life is going, and has remained estranged from her as a child through her adult life for years for whatever reason (smtg implied through this flashback we don't understand yet, and/or his mental health issues)

For Charlie at this point, she's not a kid anymore, so just getting a call from him once in awhile is not enough if he still isn't addressing any of the issues that have built up between them, which has made her susceptible to being tricked by Alastor's empty words of praise and bonding

During Hell's Greatest Dad he isn't trying to address anything she's told him to, just trying to fix the surface level physical issues with the hotel to satisfy her- she looks uncomfortable the whole time he's trying to give her a sales pitch while smiling at everything Alastor says bc he is getting to her emotional needs, bc the bastard sees right through the father-daughter pair's issues

"I have angel powers! I can give you mountains of expensive things!"

"I'm always here for you! I'm so proud of you and all you've accomplished! We've grown so close bc I've always been by your side (unlike a certain someone 😇🐍🍎)"

He's excited when she asks him to come over, and we're excited for him to finally see his daughter he seems to love so much who doesn't talk to him, but from their conversation it is very much shown that Charlie is the one who has been more desperate to remain connected to him. She always updates him on her life when she can and asks him if he's paying attention to her- which he doesn't. Leading to her disappointment and/or annoyance with only jobs for her or random calls where he talks about smtg irrelevant.

I am a Lucifer stan through and through, but it is undeniable that he has not been a good dad despite being a good person. Now he's stepping up and reconnecting to Charlie again as she's fully accepting of him which is sweet.

It's also nice to see that helping Charlie and reconnecting with her is what brings him true happiness in life- bc of his anxiety and trauma he avoids the thing he knows deep down is the underlying cause of his unhappiness- his distant family and confronting their fractured relationship

So now that he's addressed a major part of the root of his depression, he stopped isolating himself, is being active, and given himself smtg productive to do, so his anxiety is down :)

Helping Charlie addressed how broken hearted he was over his family splitting, and restored the faith in humanity and good he lost after he was banished from Heaven and failed to redeem sinners when he tried

Shshsjdjdkfk I just love the characterization we get in just 2 23 minute episodes, even though the pacing is undeniably insanely fast and I would have preferred more time to marinate in it- but what can you do about capitalism vs. artistic freedom

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #charlie morningstar #sidrabbles #splurged at 2 am btw plz forgive any grammar mistakes or rambling

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