Not to get controversial here but the fact that young queers capitalize on the AIDS crisis like it personally happened to them while also doing less than nothing to address a current pandemic is so shallow and disturbing, especially since newer research is showing that covid has some connection to autoimmune deficiency syndromes, and all the actionless verbiage about the importance of disability justice and the inherent plight to social justice queers see themselves as having becomes so clearly actionless.
It’s frankly foul to hype yourself up with some audacious belief that you would’ve crawled up on the steps of the US capitol screaming for the US government to acknowledge AIDS and HIV as legitimate, and to take proper precautions when this shit is HAPPENING and you are beyond silent. You expect me to believe you’d be some raging social justice activist when you can’t even put a piece of cloth on your face now? Get over yourself for real lmfao
470 notes
·
View notes
rambling about fengqing
something about mu qing and feng xin seeing hua cheng and xie lian happy together and feeling as if they’re seeing their failure personified because they were never devoted enough in the end
something about mu qing’s lasting regret being not so much about the wrongs he’s done to xie lian (leaving him, not standing up for him, etc) so much as about the way he’s spent his whole life pushing everyone away
something about mu qing realizing that he has spent 800 years with so little to show for it beyond his achievements as a god…but personally, all was lost with the death of his mother…until xie lian ascends again, but well, though they can be friends now, xie lian has a life separate from him now
and then something about how feng xin begins to give mu qing the benefit of the doubt. at first for xie lian’s sake, he’ll try to be his friend. but this person actually isn’t so bad. in fact, isn’t this the person that can understand him best in this world.
feng xin showing mu qing kindness, allowing mq to realize that maybe he hasn’t ruined everything for himself. realizing that feng xin isn’t actually so much of an idiot. letting his defenses fall away bit by bit.
the realization that even after 800 years, people are capable of change. feng xin is capable of considering mu qing in a totally different light. mu qing is capable of forgiving himself and letting himself be vulnerable.
mu qing finding one day that he’s in love and it’s terrifying because feng xin hates him still, right? he’s just being nice for xie lian’s sake.
feng xin not having any qualms about loving mu qing. at first, he’s surprised himself, but he considers how happy he is these days with him.
feng xin and mu qing understanding each other better than anyone else and falling in love because of it!! growing independently and together at the same time!!
not instant love, not 800 years of pining, but slow, patient changes that lead to a deep trust and affection and understanding between the two that they both thought was impossible just a few years ago.
218 notes
·
View notes
all bets are off [1/3]
Lucemond High School AU drabble [part 2], She’s All That (1999)
“Am I a bet? Am I a bet, am I a fucking bet?”
“Yes.” It comes out quietly, which makes it all the worse. Luke would have expected Aemond to sneer and look down his long nose at him like the Hightower side of the family had for most of their lives. Luke wishes he would. It would have made it easier. Aemond’s face reflects no relish, or even satisfaction. Instead, it is pale and unreadable. Fitting, perhaps; as it turns out, Luke had read him wrong this entire time.
“Would you have told me before it was over? Before you humiliated me in public?”
The silence speaks for itself.
“Alright,” he scoffs, “that’s it, then.” The bitterness in his voice has an unfamiliar edge, and it sounds mean even to Luke, but it’s right. That’s how he feels. “You played your little game, you had your fun. I get it. It’s over.”
“No.”
“No?”
“It’s not over.”
“It is if I say it is. I don’t want anything from you, and you—you can shut up about debts, or what I owe you. We don’t have to know each other after this.” It’s true; they don’t have any classes together. They run in the same circles but that’s nothing some convenient maneuvering and strategic avoidance can’t fix. Their sides of the family voluntarily meet up for a miserable dinner once every three months and holidays. Luke can make it work.
Aemond’s remaining eye widens and his mouth thins. His face is readable now, at least; he’s livid. In a second, he lunges forward and grabs ahold of Luke’s wrist, trying to drag him back towards himself, to reel him in like he had all those months ago. Luke digs his heels into the ground instinctively, bracing away from the pressure. Luke used to like how big Aemond’s hands were in comparison to his own—the encompassing warmth, the difference in size—but now his grip tightens and locks like a handcuff, squeezing Luke’s wrist to the point of crushing. It hurts. He’s hurting him. Aemond is older and bigger than Luke, he always has been, and now he presses in like a storm cloud blocking out a clear sky.
“Luke, it wasn’t—it started like that, alright? It was like that in the beginning, but not now. It’s different now, I’m not—just look at me!” There’s something frantic in his words, the way he hovers over Luke like his shadow alone will cage him in. This isn’t the first time Aemond has struck the flight instinct in him, or the urge to fight, but it resonates through Luke’s core nonetheless. There is too much of him near. “I would’t have told you because there’s nothing to tell, not anymore.” Luke cranes his neck to peer over Aemond’s shoulder, searching out the best escape route. “It’s not over. You don’t mean that. We just…this is a rough patch, that’s all. It doesn’t matter how it started, it matters what it is. It’s good now, isn’t it? I’m good for you, I can be whatever you need, I’ll keep you happy. You like me, right? I know you do. I know you like me. Just get in the car, and we’ll talk about this later. Not now. Not like this. Look at me, don’t—don’t be like this. Luke.”
“I’m going home.”
“No. It’s late. You’re going back with me.”
“Let go.”
“Not until you listen.”
“Get off of me,” he snarls, launching himself backwards and ripping out of Aemond’s grasp. “Don’t touch me.” Aemond rears back at this rejection.
“Who else is going to do it? Lonely little Luke, eating lunch alone. Stupid, useless, weak. Can’t play sports, can’t speak in Debate Club, Mommy pays his tuition. He almost wets his pants when someone pulls the fire alarm. Who else is going to touch you, other than me?” Aemond’s mouth curls into a grin; he’s done it before, all sly and cruel. It looks ugly. He never changed, did he? How did Luke never see it before? “You didn’t fuck, didn’t drink at house parties, didn’t go to the beach past bedtime—hell, you probably never rode in a car without buckling the seatbelt. You were so eager for it, and I took you so easily. No one else could do that. No one else can touch you now, not like I can.”
It would have been true five months ago. Poor, common-looking Luke, who blended in with the walls, kept his head down, and startled at car alarms. That Luke was surrounded by gems, by brothers and uncles and friends who excelled at something, who carved names out for themselves. The Luke from five months ago would have balked at this, would have shrunk into himself and cowed to the truth. That Luke thought no one watched him, but he would’ve known if he just looked up. The Luke from now knows what the truth is, for the first time, and it’s nothing that comes out of Aemond’s mouth. Luke knows himself better than he ever has, and knows Aemond like he never wanted to before.
“I don’t think that’ll be any trouble, Uncle. Don’t worry about me,” Luke snorts out without thinking. “If I need someone to give me a ride, it won’t have to be you.” It doesn’t. It won’t. “I can buckle my own seatbelt; better yet, someone else can buckle it for me.” The uncle in question stills.
“Say that again.” He blinks, a curious expression settling over his features. “Say that again.”
“I said, it doesn’t have to be you. Other people will touch me. You’re not the only one around here with a working dick and something to prove. You lost an eye, not an ear. I should’t have to repeat myse—” before he can even finish the sentence, Aemond grabs him again, fingers curling over his shoulders like talons. Luke’s breath stops in his throat. Aemond’s face is so close they could kiss. Instead of leaning into it like he might have a few hours ago, Luke cringes backwards. Never again. The wounded expression on Aemond’s face gives him some satisfaction, but then his mouth morphs into a snarl and Luke would bet anything—his mother’s money, his own life, or whatever Aemond must’ve taken when he made that bet in the first place—that both of his eyes are glowing right now. The prosthetic below the patch shines like a jewel in its socket anyway, but the working eyeball in his head works furiously, searching across Luke’s face for something.
“What did you say, you little shit?” Aemond seethes. “Is there someone else? You have someone else, you were thinking about someone else?” he hisses into Luke’s face and furiously shakes him like a child would a broken toy. “Who is it?” he demands, sounding desperate now. “When? Is it Stark? Aegon? Greyjoy, that waterlogged rat? Daeron? Did one of them touch you—did you let them? Did they kiss you? Tell me, you fucking bastard.” Luke tells him the truth.
“That’s not your business anymore.”
“Not my business? Not—hah, not my business?” He’s so angry he’s spitting. “Of course it’s my business. It always has been. You’ve always—always, there’s never been a time when—you little idiot. Don’t you get it? You’re mi—”
Luke slaps him.
722 notes
·
View notes
Comparing Toriel at the beginning of Undertale, deciding for Frisk that the best thing for them would be to stay with her without wanting to explain the real danger of the Underground to them, against Toriel in the True Pacifist ending being the only one to point out that Frisk came from the Surface, and may want to go somewhere else instead of living with their new monster friends, asking them what THEY want to do.
Wanting to keep Frisk with her was well-intentioned, but it did come from a place of trauma. And she’s grown past that trauma, somewhat. She no longer insists on clinging to Frisk tightly so they can’t get hurt, and is capable of letting go. And she remembered that Frisk wanted to go home, and is willing to accept their choice if that’s what they decide. She went after Frisk to help them against Asgore not just because she wanted to live with them somewhere outside the Ruins, but because confronting Asgore and saving their life was the right thing to do, after getting it wrong for so long.
Toriel, like the rest of Undertale’s cast, is flawed. She’s depressed and traumatized, after losing two children and seeing her ex-husband declare war. She can hold grudges for a long time, and still isn’t over her grudge against Asgore.
But she does grow, change, and start overcoming her grief and depression. And I think some people miss that. (Assuming they caught onto her grief to begin with.)
548 notes
·
View notes