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#PR wankers
themancorialist · 2 years
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Exchange Square, Manchester.
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electrosquash · 9 months
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Shitblogs loooove making random reaction pic additions. They know that will get reblogged despite them being blocked by everyone -.-
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tayytayy12 · 1 month
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Secrets | MV1 x Reader
Summary - Reader and Max have been in a secret relationship since the beginning of readers rookie season with McLaren, but all the pairs efforts to keep their relationship private almost go out the window when readers involved in a bad crash
Warnings - Mentions of car crash, injuries, swearing
Type - Written / small Smau at the end
Requested - No - Yes
Not been proofread
You didn’t remember exactly how your relationship with Max came around, you just kind of remembered it beginning and loving every second of it. You was halfway through your rookie season with McLaren, finally scoring some points and even a couple of podiums when Max made the first move and asked you out on a date, you was nervous obviously, but you said yes of course, and it was one of the best decisions you’d ever made.
The decision to keep the relationship a secret was a mutual one between the two of you, you because it was hard enough being a woman in a sport like Formula one without people saying you was only getting where you was because of your relationship with the reigning champion, and Max’s reasons were because he wanted you to make you happy and the PR would be a nightmare, every media outlet would be claiming he was the reason for your improvement over the summer brake, they’d even give him credit for your win in the Qatar sprint, and you wouldn’t let that happen.
It was now the weekend of the Las Vegas Grand Prix, and you were incredibly excited, you’d been on a high the last few weekends, and nothing could bring you down, especially because of Max’s dominance on the track, you knew most if not all of the other drivers were sick and tired of it, but you enjoyed to see how happy he got when he won, after every win when you would sneak into his hotel room (his were always bigger) and he’d have a huge grin in his face, he was achieving his dream, and it made you happy too.
“You’re going to do amazing, Schat, I can feel it.” Max whispered into your shoulder as the two of you were hiding in a corner of the paddock where no prying cameras or eyes could see you, the pair of you getting in a moment alone together before the race, you laughed into his chest as you tighten the hug the pair of you were wrapped in, “A p19 qualifying result isn’t a position for me to do amazing in, love.”
Max shrugged as he smoothed your hair down, “I think you’re capable of anything out on the track. You’ve got more talent than practically all of these guys combined,” he paused for a moment before grinning and saying, “well apart from me, of course.”
“You’re a wanker.” You laughed as you leaned up and kissed him gently, him returning it instantly without a second of hesitation, “I love you Schat, I’ll see you after the race, do great for me.” He whispered.
You smiled, “I love you more, win for me, yeah?”
“I’ll do anything for you.” He whispered before placing one last kiss on the crown of your head and leaving to go and finish prepping for the race.
——————
It all happened in a blur, it didn’t even register in your mind that you had crashed until you started fading in and out of consciousness from how hard you had hit your head from the impact of the crash, all you remember was making you way up to p16 and a car coming too close behind you, and then you was here, your head feeling light and fuzzy as you heard your teams voices practically screaming at you from over the radio, urging you to respond so they could know you was okay. The crash looked horrible and brutal, they didn’t know if you was okay, but by the looks of the car, it didn’t seem like you would be.
You tried to reach for the radio button, but you couldn’t respond, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t talk, all you could do was sit there as black surrounded your vision and you slowly faded into a world of the unconscious.
——————
“Red flag Max, box box.” Max sighed when he hewed those words over his radio, he already had a clear lead on the race, working his way up from his qualifying position of third back up to first place where he belonged.
“What happened?” He asked as he slowed down the car and drove into the pit lane and into his garage, as he heard a voice sound form over his radio again, “A pretty bad crash, not sure who it is yet.”
“The team?” He asked, making sure it wasn’t some like Daniel or Charles, or most importantly, you.
“McLaren, unsure if it’s Norris or Y/l/n.” His blood ran cold when he heard that, it couldn’t be you, you did t crash, you was stop good to crash, he knew it was wrong but he was silently praying over and over in his head that it was Lando in that car and he exited his own, but that hope came crashing down when he glanced down and saw Lando pacing up and down his garage, hands running through his hair, tugging at the short curly stands as he waited for word if you was okay.
Throughout your time at McLaren, you and Lando had become friends, incredibly close friends, he was the only person you had trusted enough to tell about yours and Max’s relationship, and he hadn’t told a soul, and in this moment he looked petrified.
Max’s eyes quickly darted over to the large screen, trying to see if you were okay, but when he saw how mangled and contorted your car was, he grew ten times more panicked instantly, you needed to be okay, he needed you to be okay.
They called the race to an early end, no one knowing if you was okay or if your injury’s were as severe as they looked, and Max took that as his opportunity to go tell Christian how he needed to see you, and when the older man heard Maxs erratic tone and his glassy eyes he dismissed him without a moment of hesitation, promising to cover for him if he had to attend any interviews or anything.
That’s how he got here, in a white hospital room, your hand wrapped up in his and he pressed constant tiny kisses against the knuckles of you as you lay unconscious, Lando on your other side, a stray tear in his cheek as he remembered how the doctor said that you hit your head hard and you had some internal bleeding in your stomach, the man looked unbearably sorrowful as he said that if you didn’t wake up within the next day or two, you might not at all.
“Max,” Lando whispered, shattering the silence that the room was coated in, Max just hummed in acknowledgment his stare not wavering from your body as Lando continued, “she um, she got you this. For when you won,” he said handing Max a small box that looked like it had some kind of jewellery in it, “she’d want you to have it.
Max slowly disconnected your hand from his as his shaky hands opened the lid of the box, and his breath stopped in his throat when he saw a silver necklace with a ring on the end, but what really got him was the inscription inside the ring, in small words it read, ‘my champion’, his eyes instantly became glassy and Lando cleared his throat and stood, “I’ll give you a minute with her.” Before leaving the room as max fastened the chain around his neck as he re-connected your hands.
“Please wake up, Schat,” he said his voice cracking and he whispered against your knuckles, “I can’t do this without you. I don’t want to do anything without you by my side. I want you with me every step of the way, when I win, when you win, I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to show people how much you mean to me, I love you so so much. So please, for me, wake up, don’t leave me.” He said as tears now flew down his face without even attempting to stop or slow them as he prayed that you’d open your eyes.
——————
Everything was so bright and loud around you when you woke up, your eyes adjusting to the white light as you come around to notice the extreme pounding in your head and the fact that you was in a hospital room and everything hurt.
Your eyes drifted down to the weight you felt around your waist where you saw Max sleeping, tear tracks on his face and the chain you’d bought for him around his neck, yous smiled, Lando must’ve given it to him.
Your finger slowly traced over his cheek, his jumping awake instantly at the touch and his eyes growing ten times wider at the sight of you awake, he yelled for a doctor as he stood a pressed tens of gentle kissed to the top of your head, “My god, Schat, never do that to me again, you hear me? I don’t want to know what anything would be like without you in my life. Don’t ever try and leave me again.”
You gently reached and pulled his head down so his forehead rested against your own, “I wouldn’t dream of it, My Champion.”
“You’re okay.” He said, his voice unbelieving as he placed his hands on your cheeks, you placed yours over his as you’re whispered back, “I’m okay, pretty boy. I’m okay.”
——————
Yourusername
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Liked by - Yourusername, LandoNorris and 2,972,197 others
Tagged | @/MaxVerstappen
Yourusername - IM ALIVE !!!! In a shit ton of pain but I’m going to be okay after a lonnngggg recovery, I’ll be out for Abu Dhabi but I’ll be right back in Bahrain 😙 oh yeah and here’s my bf Max, do you know him?
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User1 - EXCUSE ME?
User2 - WHAT WHEN AND HOW
User3 - HOW ARE YOU SO CASUAL ABOUT IT?!?!?
User4 - okay but the third picture? The bear hug? Y/n can I have him?
Yourusername - No sorry bby, I kinda like this one
LandoNorris - FINALLY. BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW WAS EXHAUSTING.
Yourusername - You’re a solider, Lan
User5 - Lando knowing is so them core.
MaxVerstappen - I love you so much, schat
Yourusername - I love you so so so so so much more my champion
User6 - BRB, raking a nap on the highway 💕💕
——————
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haunted-headset · 6 months
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🤍 Did You Just Flinch? 🤍
Summary: You flinched when he yelled at you.
word count: 761
tags: @zuuriell @somebody-v @vibestillaxxx @ax-y10 @joviepog@themonsterunderurmom @ogelizasoot @wilburstan@smolsleepykitten@funnyreally2009@crows-death@dykepunz@aresriiots@0miamor0@defonotval@chipch0p@mazzistar16@unmellowyellowfellow@justalittlebitofchaos@thosecolorfulsheets@vopix@taylors-version-from-the-vault@aine-lasagna@merianakross@veeislost@urfav-sapphic-siren@shazbaz58-blog @wifiatthetrainstation@mcr-pr-fob@shd454@universe-friday@rqvii@idioticion@m0thza@artistphantom @ace-call-me-what-youd-like @lexx-the-gay-rubber-ducky @finleyforevermore @poraphia @radio-to-trenchcoat-demons @mysticalsoot(let me know if u don't or do wanna be tagged!!)
cw: cursing, arguing, use of Y/N, you/yours pronouns used, reader flinches, hurt/comfort, Wilbur being kind of a dickhead, mentions of past abuse, use of a pet name at the end
a/n: hey guys! Quick little story: I watched a video that was basically Wilbur getting mad for like 3 or so minutes, & the first clip was Wilbur pretending to be angry at someone who was interviewing him, & Wilbur yells very loudly & I flinched & I thought "that's a banger idea for a fic, good job, me!" so yeah!! :) here's the video if you wanna see
You & Wilbur both had terrible days. You didn't get a wink of sleep because of work & stress, & the entire week, you two were snippy with each other. You didn't blame him for any of it; he was stressed, & he was tired. Today, however, you were a little angry with him for it. You two had been extra snippy last night & had an argument, & that led to Wilbur choosing to sleep on the couch, & he didn't give you your good morning kisses & hugs when he left for the studio. He just said muttering a goodbye. Not once, in all of the years of dating you, did he ever not kiss you before he left. Even if you were screaming at him the night before or you were both pissed off at each other, he'd still do it.
When you finally got home from work, you found Wilbur sitting at his desk in the office, a mug of coffee next to his laptop. He was tapping his foot repetitively & he looked tired. His hair was tousled & his eyelids were drooping. You walked over to grab the coffee mug & he grabbed your wrist, not hard enough to hurt you.
"I'm still drinking that," he sighed.
"Hello to you too," you replied. He sighed again. "I'm just refilling your coffee for you."
"I didn't ask you to do that," he snapped. "I can do it myself."
"What is your issue today?" you said, somewhat annoyed.
"What's my issue?!" he said, raising his voice slightly. "What's your issue?! You've been such an ass to me this week! You're not making the stress any fuckin' easier!"
"Neither are you!" you said, your voice also raising. "You're being an ass, too! A massive one!"
"Oh, j--FUCK OFF!" he said, now yelling. "Fuck off! You think--you just sat there thinkin' you're tough shit, didn't you, fuckin' wanker?"
You froze. He's never yelled at you like that before.
"I-I can leave & let you be if you want--" you started in a small voice.
"Oh, so you're just fuckin' dumping me now?!" he shouted. "Is that what you're doing?! You're trying to break up with me?! What a fuckin' load of bollocks!"
"No no no no!" you said, still using that soft voice. "I-I was just going into another--"
"What, are you gonna try & cheat on me?!" he yelled, somehow getting louder. "Is that what this is, you fuckin' wanker?"
"Not at all!" you said quietly. "Not at all! I wouldn't dream of--"
"SPEAK UP!" he nearly shrieked as he raised his hand. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"
You flinched & covered your head as you shook & were on the verge of tears. He was most likely going to hit you. That's what the last few did.
Wilbur froze. He lowered his hand & looked at you with shock. Tears began to fill his eyes.
"Did you just flinch?" he said, almost a whisper. "Love, I--I wasn't going to hurt you. I would never."
You didn't say anything. You just sobbed.
"Oh my God, darling," he whispered, his voice cracking. He moved your hands away from your face & wrapped his arms around your waist as he took in the sight of your trembling lips & tearful eyes.
"I'm not like him, love," he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I would never even dream of hurting you, okay? I'm so sorry I scared you. I shouldn't have yelled."
& you broke down in his arms as he buried your head in his chest & let out a few small cries of his own. You both mumbled apologies to each other constantly as you hugged each other like your lives depended on it. Suddenly, he picked you up bridal style & placed you on the bed.
"Wait right here, okay?" he said, brushing the hair away from your face. "I'm going to run the store."
He came back a few moments later with a full grocery bag. When you opened the bag, you saw your favorite snacks, drinks, candy, a plushie, & a pair of slippers.
"Wil, this is too much--" you started. He cut you off with a gentle kiss.
"Nothing is too much for my sunflower," he smiled. "Now, what movie do you want to watch?"
For the rest of the night, you two watched your favorite movies & TV shows, & when it was time to go to bed, you two cuddled & talked & giggled with each other until you fell asleep in his arms.
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imogenleewriter · 1 year
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You, Me, (and everyone we know)
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You, Me, (and everyone we know)
Imogenlee
WIP 31/? WC: 197,000
Rockstar Harry Styles has been making headlines since he was barely legal. After a string of bad decisions, PR nightmares, and an obvious inability to take anything seriously, management and his other band members insist he needs a full-time, live-in personal assistant. After hiring and firing half of the executive PA's in the city, the boys stumble across one that might be able to put up with Harry's shit.
Applicant:
Name: Louis Tomlinson.
Qualifications: None.
Experience: Two weeks.
Why did you leave your last job: Boss was a wanker.
Past Employer Referee: Absolutely not.
What made you apply: I didn't. Why the fuck are you idiots making me fill this form out after you forced me to take the job?
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royal-confessions · 2 months
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“I suspected Kate was probably going through a bigger medical crisis than what they announced. But it didn't occur to me that she'd had cancer removed. KP should've managed things better instead of letting speculation escalate to this point when they knew she was this ill” - Submitted by Anonymous
“Why did Kensington Palace release the doctored photo and then throw Kate Middleton under the bus for it when they’ve presumably known this whole time that she’s dealing with cancer??? Why do they hate women so much???” - Submitted by Anonymous
“Am I sorry that Kate has cancer? Absolutely, yes - I wish her a speedy recovery. Do I think that the PR situation behind this was a complete clown-show and incredibly badly handled? Yup...” - Submitted by Anonymous
“If KP had a decent PR team, none of this unnecessary noise would have happened. Had they not released that photo out of pressure from jokes on Twitter, no one would have taken "Where is Kate" so seriously and major publications would have stuck to the original statement about Kate being out until Easter. Instead, major publications joined in on reporting about Kate being missing. Now Kate seems as though she's been forced by all the speculations to reveal her cancer diagnosis instead of doing it when she felt most comfortable to.” - Submitted by Anonymous
“Idk how anyone who looks at this situation can feel anything but compassion for Kate and anything but scorn for the Kensington Palace pr team. What a bunch of incompetent people. And their boss aka William, the Prince of Wales really is a wanker. You'd be stupid to think he didn't approve every one of those inane press releases. Poor Kate, I hope she powers through the preventative chemo and doesn't have to deal with any complications again” - Submitted by Anonymous
“Catherine's cancer doesn't change the fact that the KP team is a mess incapable of handling what is actually an incredibly easy PR problem to deal with.” - Submitted by Anonymous
“So we're supposed to ignore that Kensington Palace lied about the operation being planned, issued a statement that any idiot could see was only going to cause a public frenzy, published a super obviously fake photo, and engaged in two equally obvious papwalks. ? Yeah, I don't think so.” - Submitted by Anonymous
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Gulp. Harry is a wanker and Meghan Markle is a temptress rumored to have been on Epstein's yacht with Prince Andrew 😬
Allegedly Meghan's question for sexual role play w/her clients was "what's your fantasy?"
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And what is this about?
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allwaswell16 · 1 year
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Hi! What ongoing fics are you currently following??
oof, I've been so busy lately that I haven't had a chance to really follow any but here are some I know about! And if anyone else has more, please reply with some others!
you are my destiny (you are the reason that i still believe) by @alwaysxlarrie
Being a new employee at a company means that you have to learn to brush off the shitty bosses, shitty coworkers, and not getting the credit you actually deserve for things. At least, that's been Harry Styles' experience. Coworkers who steal his ideas in pursuit of getting praise and a raise, and a boss who's indifferent at best and condescending at worst. Harry has learned to expect this reality for the foreseeable future. He's accepted it.
What he hadn't expected was for Louis Tomlinson to waltz into their company, and his life, and change around everything he thought he knew about fate.
A Cinderella AU.
Of Hangovers and Hell by @unreadablehandle
Harry is not exactly a loves-social-gatherings guy. So when Niall talks him into going to a party, one during which Harry somehow ends up in a room of no other than the pretentious athlete Louis Tomlinson... shit goes down.
(very loosely) inspired by that one selfie, you know which one
The Habit I Can't Break by @cyantific
While searching for a healthy alternative to fill the void that one habit left, Louis gets hooked on something and someone totally different. This new experience pushes him way out of his comfort zone, making Louis realize he’s capable of so much more than he could’ve ever imagined.
Or… The one where Louis quits smoking and tries to get healthy, and Harry is the fitness instructor who helps him achieve those goals while making him sweat in and out of the gym. In which Harry and Louis still meet at bootcamp, just not the one you’re thinking of.
Featuring Lottie as the supportive sister who drags her brother to bootcamp class, Louis as the grumpy (and very recent) ex-smoker, and Harry as the instructor with exhausting amounts of enthusiasm and one obnoxious pair of yellow trainers.
real love (ain't that something rare?) by roguesue / @theroguesue
Louis Tomlinson has been taught to appreciate life for the little things, to never take anything for granted and to always enjoy the things you have, no matter how little or insignificant they may appear to be. But when his mum marries a rich man, he’s suddenly thrust into a life he’s always hated.
He is determined to keep hating the life he's loathed since he was little, but everything changes when he meets a rich spoiled brat named Harry Styles, who as it turns out, has the power to more than change his mindset.
You, Me, (and everyone we know) by Imogenlee / @imogenleefic
Rockstar Harry Styles has been making headlines since he was barely legal. After a string of bad decisions, PR nightmares, and an obvious inability to take anything seriously, management and his other band members insist he needs a full-time, live-in personal assistant. After hiring and firing half of the executive PA's in the city, the boys stumble across one that might be able to put up with Harry's shit.
Applicant: Name: Louis Tomlinson. Qualifications: None. Experience: Two weeks. Why did you leave your last job: Boss was a wanker. Past Employer Referee: Absolutely not. What made you apply: I didn't. Why the fuck are you idiots making me fill this form out after you forced me to take the job?
Save Me (from myself) by Imogenlee / @imogenleefic
The problem with being friends with Liam Payne was that he had a lot of friends... and forced them to be around each other. When they finished high school, both Louis and Harry were equally relieved that they wouldn't have to tolerate each other constantly or whatever it was that they did.
For five years, it worked out perfectly. They'd only had to see each other a handful of times.
Unfortunately, Liam had to go and get engaged, ask them to both be groomsmen, and then go full groomzilla on their arses. With just twelve weeks to plan the 'perfect' destination wedding and throw every ridiculous pre-wedding celebration Liam and his fiancée stumble across, it was safe to say they were firmly back in each other's lives.
And no one could have predicted that was exactly what they needed.
Give Me Your Forever by twinflamelarry / @twinflamebreeze
Being born without any superpowers is about as normal as life gets, that is unless you are growing up in an academy full of kids with supernatural powers. That's Louis' life, being the ordinary one. These kids and this stringent academy are all he has known in the name of family and home. Eighteen bittersweet years, some friendships and a tragedy later, the academy falls apart, leaving everyone with the only option of moving on. And Louis does so, all in the hopes of leaving the past and that particular curly haired boy behind.
What happens when all of them return under the same old roof after seven years? The answer is, definitely not a happy family reunion. Louis could prepare for all of it; bitter family members, traumas of the past, old love and whatever life-altering secrets that will unravel during this visit, but how does one prepare for... possibly the end of the fucking world as we know it?
Or an Umbrella Academy AU with a good portion of gay romance.
it's you by harryanthus_annuus / @harryanthus-annuus
A threat clouds the success of Marcel Cox’s 2022 World Tour. In the final hour of desperation, his team sets out in search for a double. Only too happy to have someone else take the figurative bullet for him, Marcel makes sure this ‘Harry Styles’ bloke finds his list of assignments ample — including wining and dining his much-loathed PR boyfriend, Louis Tomlinson.
Calm after the Storm by Darling28 / @darling-28
Louis and Harry have been best friends since childhood and lovers since they were 15. They can't imagine their lives without each other and yet that's exactly what they both have to cope with when Harry is allowed to do a year's internship abroad. Both initially believe they can manage it but everything suddenly crumbles and neither of them knows how to hold on to the other.
While Harry suddenly has a rising career ahead of him, Louis slips into an abusive relationship after their break up without realising it.
But what happens when Harry comes back and stands in front of Louis again after years of separation? And how do you deal with it when you still love the other person as much as you did from the beginning?
I've Got Demons, You've Got Scars by @mission2feelike
Harry’s life has been ruined twice. Once, the first time his alpha raised his fist four years ago, and then again today when his job discovered that he is an omega in a world where omegas, especially bonded omegas, have no rights. Now, he’s stuck trying to figure out how he’s going to take care of his four-year-old daughter, Mia. Just when it’s looking completely hopeless, a possible job arises. Someone is looking for an omega to help an alpha in need. The only problem is that the alpha has been diagnosed with Alpha Rage, a crippling disease that causes an alpha to become feral, making them succumb to their most instinctual, primal versions of themselves.
A story of an omega that’s been broken, an alpha that can’t trust himself, and their unlikely relationship.
Lovingly known as 'The Feral Louis Fic'.
Unrequited by babyhoneyhslt / @babyhoneyheslt
Omega Prince Harry of England has been engaged to Prince Louis of France ever since he was a young boy. Having met him at four and forming a bond, Harry is upset to find that Louis no longer treats him like a friend, instead treating him coldly.
However, Louis has his own dark secrets and Harry doesn’t know just how many dangers linger in French Court.
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thisandthat-whatever · 5 months
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Look whose PR team paid for a lengthy bullshit article to promote the one-note actor, the superhero of the pretentious wankers, Chinman. 🤪
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harmonyowl · 2 years
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OC Speech Mannerisms
I was tagged by @natesofrellis, @sstewyhosseini, and @strafethesesinners so thank you very much lovelies! 💖
If you would like to do this I will be tagging @deputyash, @schoute, @direwombat, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @adelaidedrubman, @beautiful-delirium, @ziorre, and anyone else who wishes to do this is welcome to tag me!
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NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES:1 / 2 / 3+ (fluent in english, spanish, & russian ; proficient in arabic ; conversational in mandarin chinese)
TONE OF VOICE: high / average / deep
ACCENT: yes / no (montana american ; lmao this question is so oddly phrased, everyone has an accent 😂)
DEMEANOR: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other
POSTURE: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed
HABITS - head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at a distance
COMPLEXITY:
VOCABULARY: ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️
EMOTION: ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️
SENTENCE STRUCTURE: ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️
PROFANITY:
FREQUENCY: ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️⚪️
CREATIVITY (in regards to profanity): ⚫️⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️
BOLD ALL THAT APPLY - arse. ass. asshole. bastard. bitch. bloody. bugger. bollocks. chicken shit. crap. cunt. dick. frick. fuck. horseshit. motherfucker. piss. prick. screw. shit. shitass. son of a bitch. twat. wanker. pussy.
THIS OR THAT - straightforward or cryptic? / finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind? / masculinity / neutrality / or femininity? / formalities or with abrasiveness? / praise or equivocation? / frankness or lies? / excessive or minimal hand gestures? / name-calling or magnanimity? / friendly or blunt?
IMPORTANT QUESTIONS:
DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? - almost always / frequently / rarely / never.
DOES YOUR CHARACTER’S POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.
WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / never.
WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.
WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE ‘WHOM’ IN A SENTENCE? yes / no / only ironically
YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT. WHAT WORD DO THEY USE? - but / though / although / however/ perhaps / mayhaps.
HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? - walk away / ask if that’s everything / say that’s everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they’re done here / remain quiet / they don’t.
WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONGS TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK? - upper / middle / lower.
IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS? - accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn’t.
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NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES:1 / 2 / 3+ (fluent in english, spanish, asl, & french)
TONE OF VOICE: high / average / deep
ACCENT: yes / no (manhatten american)
DEMEANOR: confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other (cool)
POSTURE: slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed
HABITS - head tilting / swaying / fidgeting / stuttering / gesturing / arm crossing / strokes chin / er, um, or other interjections / plays with hair or clothing / hands at hips / inconsistent eye contact / maintains eye contact / frequent pausing / stands close / stands at a distance
COMPLEXITY:
VOCABULARY: ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️
EMOTION: ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️⚪️
SENTENCE STRUCTURE: ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️
PROFANITY:
FREQUENCY: ⚫️⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️
CREATIVITY (in regards to profanity): ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️⚪️
BOLD ALL THAT APPLY - arse. ass. asshole. bastard. bitch. bloody. bugger. bollocks. chicken shit. crap. cunt. dick. frick. fuck. horseshit. motherfucker. piss. prick. screw. shit. shitass. son of a bitch. twat. wanker. pussy.
THIS OR THAT - straightforward or cryptic? / finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind? / masculinity / neutrality / or femininity? / formalities or with abrasiveness? / praise or equivocation? / frankness or lies? / excessive or minimal hand gestures? / name-calling or magnanimity? / friendly or blunt?
IMPORTANT QUESTIONS:
DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? - almost always / frequently / rarely / never.
DOES YOUR CHARACTER’S POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.
WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / never.
WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS? - almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never.
WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE ‘WHOM’ IN A SENTENCE? yes / no / only ironically
YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT. WHAT WORD DO THEY USE? -but / though / although / however/ perhaps / mayhaps.
HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? - walk away / ask if that’s everything / say that’s everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they’re done here / remain quiet / they don’t.
WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONGS TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK? - upper / middle / lower.
IN WHAT WAYS DOES THE WAY YOUR CHARACTER SPEAK STAND OUT TO OTHERS? - accent / vocabulary / tone / level / politeness / brusqueness / it doesn’t.
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runningwithcoffee · 2 years
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Play Dates 3 - The Beer Garden, Part I
I'd hoped to be a little further ahead with this, but wanted to post before I went on holiday. So, that teaser I posted is still a teaser, part II arrives in just over a week!
***
The bar manager - Kara - arrived with their beers, then suddenly looked up with the air of a hunting dog spotting a rabbit. She set the tray down sharply, then dashed outside to where two teenagers were pointing their phones at the bar window. No, she realised, they were pointing them through the window at where she and Ben were sitting. 
Amy could hear Kara’s voice through the glass, and Ben turned his head too, as the irate bar manager pointed at the two teenage boys, then at the window, then shouted: “What do you think this is, a zoo? You don’t go taking pictures of people without permission!”
“’Scuse me,” Ben murmured, then stood up quickly and followed her out. Amy, and a few of the nearest drinkers, watched as he made his way over to them and started chatting, Kara visibly calming down as it became apparent that they weren’t taking photos of Amy, and were just a bit starstruck. She came back in and headed back to Amy’s table.
“Sorry about that, I thought they were taking photos of you.”
“Cheers, Kara,” Amy replied, “but it’s okay.”
“You got yourself a footballer as well, then?” she teased, as Amy waved her own card at the card reader, blinking slightly at the total, but waving it off as the prices having changed without her realising.
“As well?”
Kara laughed. “You’re not the only ones on Insta, you know! I follow her as well. Nice pics she’s been posting of Ibiza, wish I could afford to take the wifey over there.” She winked and returned to the bar as Ben returned and sat down.
“That happen often?”
“Not that often,” Ben replied, “but sometimes.”
“Must be tough. Do you feel like you can’t go out without being spotted?”
He shook his head. “Depends where you are, sometimes, yes, but not everyone follows football. Also, Mase is the poster boy!” He grinned.
“He does look good on a poster, but it must be weird, having people staring at you that much. I’ve seen some of the things y/n has to manage,” Amy replied, thinking back to a conversation months ago in their flat. She’d been catching up on Game of Thrones whilst y/n frowned at her tablet and shook her head.
“Hey, what’s up?” Amy had asked eventually, seeing her friend’s expression. She was vaguely aware that Chelsea had lost a match earlier that day, but hadn’t given it much thought.
“Oh… it’s nothing,” y/n had replied, sighing “just that some people on Twitter are twats, you know?”
“Oh yeah,” Amy agreed, pressing pause and peering over her friend’s shoulder. “Ugh, that looks like a… gravestone?”
“Don’t look at it,” her friend said, scrolling past quickly. “Why do people do this shit?”
“Because some people are sad little twats,” Amy replied. “They probably sit in their bedrooms all day in their mum’s house, just wankering on.”
Y/n shook her head. “It’s just… this is horrible.”
“Don’t look at it, then,” Amy advised her, “doesn’t Mason have a PR team to take care of it?”
Her friend put the phone down. “He does, and he knows he shouldn’t take any notice, but I think they must all be aware of it. Maybe in the old days it wasn’t so bad, but these days… he has one bad game and it’s like suddenly everyone thinks he’s a waste of money, and it’s just 24 hours, wall-to-wall crap on social media.”
“Why would he pay any attention?” Amy pointed out.
“Because…” her friend paused. Amy nodded encouragingly. “It sounds a weird thing to say, but I think it does bother him. Maybe that’s why he acts like such a pain in the arse all the time.”
“Do you think that’s why he hangs out with The Dickheads?” ‘The Dickheads’ being the name the two of them had given to Mason’s crowd of assorted hangers-on. “They just tell him he’s great all the time?”
“Could be,” y/n shrugged rather bitterly, “or maybe he just can’t stand not hearing how brilliant he is 24/7.”
Back in the present, Ben frowned a little at the reminder of what was currently happening with y/n and his friend, or rather, not happening.
“She’s good at that,” he agreed, “but…” he stopped suddenly and took a big gulp of his beer.
“But what?”
“But… okay, maybe you can explain this. I get that she doesn’t like Morgan, but trust me, Mase does not give a shit about Morgan. All he did was walk her home and let her stay over when she was drunk and couldn’t get home. He did that for her, too, so… what’s the big deal?”
Amy actually agreed with him, but loyalty prevented her from openly saying so. Also… could Ben possibly understand what it was like to be on the outside of his world, peering in? He and Mason had doors opened everywhere for them, they were stars who Chelsea had paid millions of pounds for, where y/n was only in their world because she worked for Mason’s dad. And besides, Amy thought, it wasn’t like Ben would know what it was like to be in competition for someone you liked with someone else who was drop-dead stunning, and whatever else you could say about Morgan, she had everything, perfect face, perfect figure, perfect clothes. She looked the part of a girl who should date a famous footballer, and y/n…
Y/n also looked like that, Amy thought loyally, but how could you not be insecure when a girl who looked like Morgan came strolling out of the bedroom of the guy you thought was yours, big smile on her face, in front of his family and friends?
“It’s…” Amy started, then didn’t finish. It didn’t feel right to talk about y/n’s issues with Ben. Y/n’s ex had a lot to answer for.
Silence fell again, then Ben sighed, and rubbed his forehead. “Maybe it’ll be for the best when he moves on.”
Amy felt as though a trickle of ice water had just gone down her spine. “What do you mean? Is he… is there someone else?”
Ben shook his head slowly. “No, not right now. But… there’s always girls.”
“What?” Amy frowned incredulously at him. He looked puzzled, and she burst out before could stop herself. “’There’s always girls?´ Do you know how that sounds?”
“It sounds like ‘there’s more fish in the sea’,” Ben pointed out.
Amy bit her lip. She felt strongly that the two did not compare, but for the moment she could not quite find the words to explain why.
Ben stared at the table for a few seconds, then looked up. “Put it this way. When we go out, there’s always a Morgan. There’s always going to be another Morgan, and she’s not even the worst. They all know how much we earn, and some of them go after him like dogs after a bone. Sooner or later…” he let the sentence trail off.
The silence lingered. Yeah, that killed the conversation, Amy thought, taking a big swig of her beer.
The worst of it was, Ben had a point. He hadn’t actually said ‘“fuck the pain away” is a thing’, but… it really wasn’t hard to see Mason deciding that the best way to take his mind off his heartbreak was to have a meaningless fuck with any one of the various Morgans of the world, most of whom would happily attach themselves to him and do whatever he wanted, so long as he kept his wallet open and they could be seen out and about with him.
“What are you going to say to her?” Amy asked at last, and wondered whether, if Ben replied “pretty much what I’ve just said to you”, that would even be a bad thing. She wanted her friend to be happy, but this situation couldn’t go on. Not least, she thought with a worried frown, because how is it going to work if she can’t even be in the same room as Mason, and she works for his dad? “I just want to see if she’s alright,” Ben said, more gently than she’d expected. “After that… not really getting involved. It’s up to them to figure it out.”
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ao3feed-larry · 1 year
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You, Me, (and everyone we know)
by Imogenlee
Rockstar Harry Styles has been making headlines since he was barely legal. After a string of bad decisions, PR nightmares, and an obvious inability to take anything seriously, management and his other band members insist he needs a full-time, live-in personal assistant. After hiring and firing half of the executive PA's in the city, the boys stumble across one that might be able to put up with Harry's shit.
 Applicant: Name: Louis Tomlinson. Qualifications: None. Experience: Two weeks. Why did you leave your last job: Boss was a wanker. Past Employer Referee: Absolutely not. What made you apply: I didn't. Why the fuck are you idiots making me fill this form out after you forced me to take the job?
Words: 4060, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English
Fandoms: One Direction (Band)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Additional Tags: Famous Harry, Non-Famous Louis Tomlinson, OT5, Famous Niall Horan, Famous Liam Payne, Famous Zayn Malik, Slow Burn, obviously, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Closeted Character, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Light Angst, Fluff and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Strangers to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, kind of, Humor, im funny okay
via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/riPFU5G
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fcb-mv33 · 2 years
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No because same. It's an immediate ick for me. Michael Schumacher is the only driver once associated with Merc to survive it and that's because Merc wasn't what they are now (and it was Michael I'd have followed him anywhere)
Working with Toto is an immediate ick for me cause the man is a wanker and cause that means they will try and change Daniel…a pr toy is all they want😐
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gender-snatched · 1 year
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Tell me about your show!!!
Alright so. There's this football club, right? That's basically a british soccer team because were all weird about soccer v football here. Snd they're... alright. Nothing special. And the guy who owned them was a massive dickwad (rupert for short).
So Rupert's wife (Rebecca) divorces him because hes a cheating prick, and she gets the football club (Richmond) in the divorce. And she hates his guts. She's fuming. And Richmond was the one thing he loved. So she wants to burn it to the ground.
To do this, she hires American Football coach Ted Lasso and his assistant coach Beard. These are coaches for OUR football. They don't know jackshit about THAT football.
Anyway they get there and everyone is like "hmmm. they're going to fuck it all up". Everyone calls Ted "wanker".
Here is the cast of characters you should know besides those already mentioned:
Non-footballers:
Keeley Jones: the girlfriend of one of the footballers. She's brilliant, a model but she becomes a PR agent and is canonically bisexual.
Leslie Higgins: Works for Rebecca. Used to help Rupert cheat on her but becomes a good guy very quickly (is unwilling to help Rebecca ruin the football club but does anyway). He's the only one with a healthy marriage
Trent Crimm (The Independent): A reporter who is very quick and slightly cruel
Nate Shelley: A very nervous little guy who's the kitman for the Richmond team
Footballers:
Jamie Tartt: a new upstart who's on loan from Man City. He's very full of himself because he's a very good footballer. Daddy issues. Dating Keeley (at first)
Roy Kent: an old football star. Is getting slow as he gets older and is no longer the best player. Very angry (about this and also in general). Team captain
Sam Obisanya: Footballer from Nigeria. Very positive. I just love him
Dani Rojas: A new addition to the team who is just as good as Jamie. Jamie is not happy about this
Isaac McAdoo: He's at first shitty but he grows and learns. More important later.
Colin Hughes: Also important later, also a footballer.
Other assorted footballers
So, Ted comes to Richmond and immediately starts changing almost everything. No one likes him at first but he's good at what he does.
Anyways the season goes on and they start getting better at football but also the toxic masculinity in the locker room is dipping! And that's the whole point!
So anyway the major developments of Season One are:
Jamie and Keeley break up
Jamie starts to grow a leetle bit
Everyone starts to like Ted and his "believe" message
Roy and Keeley get together!
Rupert starts dating ANOTHER Rebecca (later they get married and have a baby) (she goes by Bex)
Rebecca realizes shes being a major fucking bitch (with the help of her new best friend Keeley)
Nate is promoted to coach
Roy can no longer play and leaves the team. Isaac is new team captain
They get demoted from Premier League to the one underneath or whatever I barely know AMERICAN sports
Then Season Two rolls around. Ted Lasso is divorced now. They've been demoted.
Anyway here are our major plot points:
Keeley is employed at Richmond as PR manager
Roy is depressed and becoming a guy who talks about football
Rebecca is becoming less depressed
Nate is starting to really abuse his position as coach
Roy joins Richmond as a coach
Rebecca's anonymous Tinder rip-off date turns out to be Sam on the team, something I don't really like because she's 45-50 and he's 21 and they do play with them together as a thing for a bit
They get promoted back up!
But oh no! Nate has revealed to the press that Ted has panic attacks and now he's being ripped apart by critics
Ted knows it's Nate because Trent Crimm, The Independent reveals his anonymous source, which you are not allowed to do (he gets fired)
They get promoted up to Premier League with Nate's play
Nate tears up Ted's believe sign.
And OH FUCK Rebecca's ex husband asshole bought his own football club AND Nate is working there now
So now Season 3 (the final season) is coming out. So far we've had:
They are doing very bad. Rupert's club is doing good.
Keeley and Roy broke up because Roy doesn't like being happy
They get a famous footballer on the team! He sucks fucking ass man
Then he leaves? It's kinda unresolved and I'm actually hoping he comes back
Colin is gay!
So is Trent
Ted accidentally came up with an existing form of football that means they're winning
Keeley got a girlfriend but then she had her nudes leaked and her girlfriend was an asshole about it. Her gf was also her boss and I didn't trust her one lick (even besides being a diehard Roy/Keeley/Jamie shipper)
Nate is getting a redemption arc through love and because he doesn't hate himself anymore and he's in love
Colin got outed to Isaac, who then ignored him. But then he tried to punch a fan who said the f slur so Colin came out and it went well and everything is excellent now
Well, Isaac can't play for a while, but that means that Sam is captain so that's a win
And that's so far! I'm having a fun time! Who thought sports could be this fun.
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thejase · 1 year
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My Thoughts on 2022
For a number of years now I’ve been writing an end of the year round up of events - mainly as a way to get some frustration with the human race out of my system. Looking back at them they always start by expressing disbelief that the year was actually crazier than the year before. 
2022 is no different.
The year kicked off with its very own ‘gate’ - Partygate! Press revelations shocked absolutely no one by reporting that the Hooray Henrys populating 10 Downing Street had been treating it like Anabel’s nightclub whilst everyone else had been stuck at home watching Netflix and clapping out of their windows. Suddenly a hitherto unknown civil servant was catapulted into the limelight - step forward Sue Gray. Apparently she was the sort of no nonsense lady who would get to the bottom of things. I was imagining her doggedly interrogating Boris Johnson at every opportunity, much to his chagrin, and just at the moment he thinks he’s got rid of her she turns with “just one more thing…” and delivers the killer question. Sadly my Columbo fantasy was not to be. Just as the conclusions were about to be revealed the report got kicked into the long grass by being referred to the police. And what was their devastating method of detection? Polygraphs? Fingerprints? DNA? CCTV? Nope. It was a chuffing multiple choice questionarre. Holmes would be spinning in his grave - if he wasn’t a fictional character. Soon everyone had gate fatigue and what did it matter if they broke the law anyway - there was a war on.
Yes, Vladimir Putin the man who for years had seemed like a murdering psychopath decided to fulfil his destiny by going down in history as one with his decision to invade Ukraine. Boris Johnson was quick to turn this into a PR opportunity. “You can’t get rid of me! Not while there’s a war on!” He kinda left out the fact that it was elsewhere, we weren’t fighting in it, and there’s always a war on somewhere, but faster than you can say “I’ve impregnated an intern” he was off to Ukraine to offer some much needed photo opportunities.  
Meanwhile all the Russian oligarchs that had been using London as a kind of upmarket Cash Converters were told no more tennis with Boris Johnson and their funds were going to be confiscated in, er, 30 days. Phew! “Sergei, load up the gold bars, we’re taking the yacht to the Cayman Islands.”
Video’s featuring performative meat artist Salt Bea began going viral this year. He owns a bizarre restaurant in Knightsbridge (where else?) that can set the hard working hedge fund manager back £1,450 for Golden Giant Tomahawk steak alone. The whole point of the restaurant seems to be not to enjoy the food but to demonstrate to the group of colossal wankers you’re dining with what a colossal wanker you you are. If you spend enough Salt Bea himself will come and serve your steak - looking like a hit man for Fray Bentos he’ll do a sexy little salt shaker dance before sensuously sliding a slice of dead cow down your throat. It’s the ultimate Instagram dining experience.
Autumn witnessed the Clownfall of roisterer in chief Boris Johnson. It was always going to end in ignominy for Johnson because he was only in it for the LOLZ. He might have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that pesky pandemic. Prior to that his one job was to stick his thumbs up and bellow ‘Rule Britannia’ as the good ship Brexit steadfastly sunk into the English Channel. He was a sort of national ‘vibe man’ at a gig - a Brexit Bez. The moment he had to shoulder some responsibility it all became a bit too much for him and he swiftly retreated into his old habits of boozing and procreation.
There followed yet another Tory leadership election (I’ve lost count) featuring an assortment of the cabinet of grotesques that Johnson had assembled around him to make him look good, and a few backbenchers so unknown that even they weren’t sure who they were. Astonishingly the front runners soon became the meal deal of death guy and the Instagram hat model. During the campaign someone must have whispered in Truss’s ear “Liz, you only have to appeal to the Tory party members” because her tactic quickly became to turn up at debates and say things like “French people smell of cheese” then gawp in wide-eyed wonderment as the audience applauded and cheered. 
One can surmise that Truss’s popularity with octogenarian members of the Tory party was that her density was equal to that of of black hole and thus time slowed down as they approached her event horizon. Unfortunately the combined denseness of Truss and Kwarteng sent them spiralling into a collision unleashing gravitational waves of destruction on the economy.  Their ‘Reverse Robin Hood’ plan was such a terrible idea even the markets baulked at the promise of being given even more money, lest the entire edifice collapsed, and went into meltdown. Liz & Kwasi performed a U turn so quick that I’m not even sure Vin Diesel could have pulled it off in a Fast & Furious movie, but it was too late - back to Instagramming hats for Liz.
It was all a bit much for The Queen who decided to shuffle off to the great palace in the sky. Who could blame her? And while it did feel like a genuinely historic event, every TV station went into Queenovision mode with weeks of 24/7 interviews and obituaries. If this had happened in the 70s I think the coverage would have been much more restrained - they might have pulled an episode of The Two Ronnies in order to run an extended episode of the news and that would be it. But now every station had to out-royal every other station. The problem was there weren’t enough people who genuinely knew The Queen to go around so you ended up with people like Christopher Biggins talking for two hours about how he once saw Her Majesty using a spoon at a garden party. 
In the end it was decided that there was only one right and proper way for the British to pay their respects and that was by queueing. Forget tea & biscuits, James Bond, the Proms, fish & chips, Morris Dancing, Chicken Tikka, losing at football, etc - queueing is the most British thing ever invented. And what a queue it was! There were even queues for the queue. Surely centuries from now the queue will be woven into the tapestry of British folklore along with King Arthur and that bloke who burnt some cakes.
Strikes came back into vogue in with a vengeance this year. It’s a bit like the 70s but they’ve clearly been influenced by Marvel superhero films and assembled a much greater cast of protagonists. Everyone’s at it - rail workers, bus drivers, nurses, ambulance staff, postal workers, civil servants, driving examiners, firefighters, teachers, lecturers, lawyers, even the factory that makes Twiglets is at it - it’s almost as if people have simply had enough! 
Elon Musk went from being Tony Stark to Tony Stark Raving Mad. Apparently reducing carbon emissions and space exploration weren't lofty enough goals and Musk decided that what the world really needs is a platform for douchebro memes. $44 billion is a lot of money to trash your own reputation, most of us can do this for free by getting drunk at a Christmas party. To try and recoup some of his cash he introduced a plan to make available for cold hard cash something which was previously earned by achievement and talent - thus providing a neat analogy of modern life. The plan soon backfired when people realised you could set up blue tick accounts like @el0nmusk and post ‘Free Teslas today for any Maga who brings a raccoon to our showrooms.’ 
Surely the cultural highlight of the year was Matt 'I fell in love' Hancock taking part in I'm A Celebrity. In a production choice akin to casting Harold Shipman in Casualty the former Health Secretary went into the jungle to "raise awareness of dyslexia". Poor Matt must suffer from it so badly that he was unable to read the note he'd written to himself saying "don't forget to mention dyslexia you stud". Hancock managed to perform the basic function of a politician - that is to convince people to vote for you based on the thin veneer of an affable personality - but still came third ensuring his book 'Everyone Else's Fault But Mine' instantly graced the 99p shelves of Bargain Books and he announced the end of his political career in order to find "new and exciting means of communication" (presumably he means Strictly).
So humanity dives headlong into 2023 just as bonkers as it started. I’ve stopped saying ‘next year has got to be more sane hasn’t it?’ and am simply preparing myself for whatever comes next... …please be aliens.
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hoggleswart · 2 years
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𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐋𝐘'𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗     —     𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 & 𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐍!
We  all  know  Marcus  Flint  is  no  stranger  to  a  headline.   Just  last  week,  we  had  a  juicy,  little  spread  on  their  recent  street  brawl  with  Rita  Skeeter’s  best  photographer   (  apparently  it’s  what  happens  when  you  shove  a  camera  in  Julius  Crabbe’s  face  ),   but  we’re  afraid  this  article  might  come  bearing  even  worse  news.   The  votes  are  in  and  we  can  finally  confirm  after  only  one  year  on  the  throne,   the  Quidditch  sensation  has  lost  their  spot  as  Witch  Weekly’s  Most  Eligible  Bachelor.   It  turns  out,   the  public  prefer  another  former  Hogwarts  Captain  instead,   handing  the  title  over  to  the  deliciously  good - looking  Oliver  Wood  instead.   We  can’t  print  exactly  what  Marcus  said  when  we  reached  out  to  share  the  news,   but  let’s  just  say,   nobody  likes  a  sore  loser.   It  might  be  a  while  before  we  see  them  back  at  number  one.   
𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓:    for this prompt, all you're asked to do is to write the singular ( or one of presumably multiple ) article once published about your character. it can be headline worthy news or something that was just a footnote in the prophet - it's up to you !
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