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kaaaaaaarf · 11 months

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🌒🌓🌔masterlist🌖🌗🌘

hello there! i'm karfy. this blog is 18+. minors dni.

ao3 / spotify / ask me

🌕WIPs🌑

back when we were dinosaurs (3/4) - (E , 26.6k+ words, wolfstar, background marylily, fluff, smut, it's my fictional ode to Toronto) track it under the Museum tag / playlist

Remus is the ROM's newest curator of the paleontological wing. Sirius manages the gift shop and has a dinosaur obsession. They are cute little nerds together and sometimes they have sex in the archives

Nobody parts two rivers met (1/3) - (M, 1k+ words, wolfstar, angst) this is a concept fic based on Liz Phair's album 'Exile in Guyville'. track it here.

A man walks into a bar: Sirius has a good life — he fucks around, not really caring if he ruins the lives of the people he's sleeping with. Remus has been taken advantage of his entire life and keeps finding himself with men who don't really want him. Then they meet and everything changes...or does it?

Savour It (I'm Tasty) (1/?) - (M, 782 words+, wolfstar, sausage roll crack)

He tries to ignore it—really, really tries. He tries to focus on large, skillful hands; on the sweat glistening on warm bronze skin; on the tawny curls falling into lovely brown eyes. But the crumbs.

🌕Completed Fics🌑

The Killing Time (unwillingly mine) (3/3) - (M, 17.5k+ words, wolfstar, background jegulily, tw: murder) track it under the Murder Husbands tag general playlist / chapter two playlist / Remus' horny Sirius playlist / wedding schmood playlist + Series: Love, Blood, and Wham: The Life and Death(s) of Remus J. Lupin

Remus becomes the most prolific serial killer in modern history because Sirius is a slut and won’t stop getting engaged.

You better watch out, You Better Watch Out, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT (A Murder Husbands b-side) - (T, 1.6k words, wolfstar, jegulily, Christmas fic, Regulus POV) + Series: Love, Blood, and Wham: The Life and Death(s) of Remus J. Lupin

A very Murder Husbands Christmas. Remus is obsessed with Santa. Regulus is so, so tired.

Now I'm Spreading Your Legs (with mine in between) - (E, 5k words, wolfstar, texting fic, porn with very little plot, aka my Hatefuck fic) / playlist + Series: When You Open Your Legs

Sirius meets famed rockstar Remus Lupin at a pub and they become arch-enemies who really, secretly want to fuck. James is here for it.

I Got My Spoon (inside your jar) - (E, 10.6k words, wolfstar, porn with very little plot, aka the Hatefuck sequel) / playlist + Series: When You Open Your Legs

Sirius scribbles on the back of his receipt and passes it over the bar. “Can you give this to him when you see him next?” Jamal looks down at the scribbled name and number. “Morrissey?” He smirks as he hands over his credit card. “He’ll know who it is.”

touching me (touching you) - (E, 12k words, wolfstar, porn with an increasing amount of plot, aka Hatefuck part 3) / general playlist / Remus' playlist + Series: When You Open Your Legs

“Right, and what’s with the socks?” Remus holds them in front of him with a frown, like they personally offended him. “I figured you could branch out. If you insist on wearing socks with your boat shoes, they may as well show some personality, since you clearly don’t have one.” “Did you have to get me a pair that says Don't Bully Me I’ll Cum in bright, rainbow lettering?” “...yes, obviously? Isn't that your motto?”

It's So Shameful of Me (I like you) - a Hatefuck b-side - (E, 839 words, wolfstar, Remus POV) + Series: When You Open Your Legs

After a disappointing evening, Remus decides to give Sirius a call.

The More You Ignore Me (the closer I get) - (E, 9.8k words, wolfstar, more plot than porn, aka Hatefuck part 4) / playlist + Series: When You Open Your Legs

After everything that happened that fateful October morning in Remus’ apartment, Sirius thought it might be good to get some much needed distance from Remus. He’d re-activated Grindr as soon as he got home, and was really, strongly thinking about maybe hooking up with someone. Truly, he was going to do it—eventually. He was still thinking about it a week later, and enjoying the relative peace that not having Remus in your life brings—that is, until the phone calls started.

I Had A Dream That You Were Mine - a Hatefuck b-side - (T, 1.1k words, wolfstar, as close to fluff as these fuckers get) + Series: When You Open Your Legs

It’s just after midnight on a random Wednesday in November, and Sirius is perched on a rickety barstool, tucked away in an alcove at the far end of the bar—beer in hand. He's absently tapping his foot to the rhythm of whatever song is blaring through the speakers overhead, trying not to check his watch for the fiftieth time in ten minutes. He's bored, and not entirely sure why he came at all. Well, he thinks, that’s not entirely true—it’s Remus. Remus is the reason he came.

Rolling In The Deep - (E, 750 words, divorced wolfstar, porn with very little plot) + Series: Hatefuck Extended Universe

Somehow, a quick interaction — a hello, now take your stuff and get the fuck out — turned into a screaming match, and before he knew it they were here, fucking on what would have been Sirius' side of the bed before everything went to shit.

Only Get (My Rocks) Off - (E, 2k words, wolfstar, porn with very little plot) + Series: Hatefuck Extended Universe

They say that every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. Every time Remus has to listen to his neighbour’s fucking drainpipe clink against the side of the house, Remus gets a migraine and a hard-on.

You Grew Tall (I Stayed The Same) - (G, 1400k words, hogwarts era, wolfstar, fluff)

"Don't laugh.” He turns to find Remus scowling in the direction of Sirius’ feet, his back hunched comically low. “I'm not laughing, Moony!” He was definitely laughing, but he really couldn't help it. Remus truly looked ridiculous. Like a baby giraffe, all unsteady, knobby knees. He’d had a growth spurt over the summer (his third in a year) and his school uniform shorts now barely reached mid-thigh.

Ah-Ooh (werewolves of london) - (G, 1k words, hogwarts era, background wolfstar, hurt/comfort if the comfort was a piano)

He flexes his aching fingers and clumsily plays the first few notes of a familiar tune. He sings along, quietly at first, gradually becoming more confident. I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand...

Don't Be Scared (i love you) - (G, 1k words, wolfstar, post first wizarding war, hurt/comfort)

It’s been three years since the end of the war, and Remus still has nightmares so vivid that he forgets where he is. He wakes up dissociating and doesn't know what’s real and what’s not.

my blood is singing with your voice - (M, 750 words, wolfstar, horror, midsommar au) / playlist

Someone is laughing.

In ár gCroíthe go deo - (T, 1k words, wolfstar, irish remus lupin, older wolfstar)

A meditation on the meaning of home, and what it means to long for a place that lives in your bones. Title translates from Irish to "In our hearts forever"

I Knew Your Love Before I Knew Your Name - (G, 380 words, wolfstar, cowboy remus)

Sirius is in a truck with a truly beautiful man.

soft like silk chiffon - (E, 1.8k words, wolfstar, remus in a silk slip) / inspired by this gorgeous drawing by Indi

Remus, who is leaning casual as-you-like against the kitchen counter, wearing the ivory coloured silk slip that Sirius bought him as a joke for his last birthday.

Here I Am (a rabbit-hearted boy) - (G, 664 words, hogwarts era, background wolfstar, wererabbit remus crack)

Remus' tiny body shakes in fear. Finally, after an impossibly long moment, Sirius seems to come back to himself. "R—Remus? Are you—you're a werewolf?" …I'm a what now?

i'm green, you're green - (G, 2.9k words, wolfstar, adaptation of Frog and Toad) / playlist

Once upon a time, not too long ago, there lived a Frog called Sirius and a Toad called Remus. They were neighbours in a beautiful garden. Oh, how they loved one another! They were the truest of friends. These are their adventures.

🌕In Progress🌑

I am currently actively working on several Wolfstar fics that are not yet posted to ao3. You can track updates on my account:

psychopomp (see how it shines) - M. Hades/Charon greek myth au. Sirius is Hades, Remus is Charon. wolfstar. background jily. track it here.

A workplace romance in literal hell.

untitled kidnapping au - M. wolfstar. track it here.

Remus kidnaps the Black brothers and they are both so, so mean to him.

🌕Playlists🌑

All of my playlists are available here.

🌕FAQ🌑

Do you take playlist requests?

Yes! I do!

Can I post your fic to Goodreads (or Storygraph)?

No! You may not!

Can I re-post your fic to third party websites, such as Wattpad?

I posted my work to ao3 (and in one case to my tumblr), and there it shall remain. You do not have my permission to re-post any of my works.

Can I bind your fic?

As long as it's for yourself or as a gift to someone! It must be not-for-profit and please do not use an online (or irl) printing service. I also ask that if you do, that you reach out to me and show me the final product!! I would love to see your binds.

Can I translate your fic into other languages?

I would prefer it if you didn't. Please reach out to me if you want to talk about it, though. There may be certain circumstances where I'd be amenable, but you need to respect it if I say no.

Can I put your fic into an AI generator?

I can't believe I have to say this, but no. Please do not use AI in connection with any of my work. This includes using it to create art based on anything I have created. AI causes harm to artists and authors. Please be cool, you guys.

#pinned post #about me #masterlist #marauders #playlist #epicblueblanket #wolfstar

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whileyoureinschoolidothisallday · 4 months

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LOYALTY - Dabi x f!reader

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synopsis: After years of being a Villain, you're trying to be good now.

Fucking a Villain isn't the same as being one.

Right?

word count: 7216

warnings: f!Black!reader. Reader is a foreigner and is very chronically ill, using a wheelchair while also having a tube in their throat for respiratory issues. club scene. implications of drinking and off-screen drug use (reader is high and probably drunk throughout the oneshot)

A/N: HI!!!!!!!! =D

I've been trying to write this for a year and finally got it out of me! This is a companion piece to my much longer wip, "Bury My Ashes at Sea" (aka Hex!fic). I have many companion pieces planned for AFTER Hex!fic, that would explore the events of their relationship more, but after seeing these pics of Dabi, this became a very impromptu entry. It was only supposed to be literally just a short scene about watching Dabi's face in the water but it uh...got away from me. I really hope I don't regret posting this first, but I had to get it out.

This is very MC centric, whereas Hex!fic and other companion pieces will be Dabi centric. This is also primarily angsty as you're kinda having an existential crisis!!!!!! I'm not super sure anybody's gonna like this but me, but if you do, I love you and hope you tell me everything you liked in the tags and comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enjoy! <3

(header made by the beautiful amazing @xxlvndrxxhzexx )

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You could always be found by the water.

The ocean was obviously your favorite, but any water would do. It called to you, no matter where it was. No matter where you were. Even if the closest thing you had was a bathtub, sometimes you just had to soak. Life felt worse if you didn’t. Your family used to joke that it was supposed to be your Quirk—it just got lost in the mail somewhere, or stuck in your already clusterfucked excuse for DNA.

It’s how they came up with the name Siren.

But you didn’t use that name anymore.

You were trying to be good now.

The music swelled and thumped in your chest, all while you sipped your drink through a straw in the corner, unfocused and unfazed. As soon as you heard there was a pool at this place, it was constantly tugging at the back of your head. You wandered around the party, head buzzing with a mixture of substances and a booming baseline, and still somehow ended up within view of the back door. No matter where you went, your eyes still glanced to the alluring outside. Maybe it was the drugs, but the longer you stayed here, the urge for the water was becoming an almost desperate pull. Like for some reason you were drowning on air. Eventually, you caved and decided to find your date before bailing. You clicked your teeth a few times and the fox-like creature standing guard beside you followed close to your wheels.

Apollon was a Quirk Pet, named so because of his psychokinetic Quirk. When you insisted on moving to Japan of all places—where they had enemies even more troublesome than the constant mass of Heroes everywhere—and refused to take any of your family or their allies, refused to use your support devices anymore, refused anything more from your Villain life than the house and the store they gave you, this was was your adoptive moms’ final attempt at a safety net for you.

At first you resisted—Quirk Pets were a relatively new (and sometimes dubiously bred) accessory for the Quirkless elite or their children to feel special like the rest of society, and that kind of flash didn’t exactly fit your attempt at a normal civilian lifestyle. The only people that could afford one of those things were high-profile Villains and crooked billionaires. But since your usual mode of assistance at the time was even less fit for civilian life, and you sure as hell weren’t taking a bunch of nursing staff, you relented. Of course, it didn’t take you long to fall in love with the little bastard.

It was at least a good signal for the more seasoned Villains to know you were someone somehow. You were seen enough around these spots now that they mostly left you alone, lumping you in with the rest of the regular slumming civs—Villain arm candy, nightly entertainment—which you supposed was what you technically were now. Apollon was never a part of your Villain life, so while you were conflictingly more comfortable in seedier places like this, he was on edge, showing his teeth at anyone who got too close.

Which, despite sleeping with him for a while now, still included Dabi.

It was a casual arrangement between the two of you. Sometimes you asked, sometimes he did. Tonight was him. Need my girl for something, the text read. You could never refuse when he called you that. He needed a way to get into this party—for recruitment purposes, you guessed—and a pretty little thing like you could get an invite with a plus one a lot easier than he could. It’s about the only time he ever took you out for anything other than crashing at your place. For someone who called herself retired and put an ocean between herself and her old life for a reason, you should’ve said no. But without the issue of his dealings—which technically he did not tell you about, per your relationship rules, and you were not participating in whatsoever— a party was a party. You worked hard. You were trying to be good now. Other civs were here, and a lot more often than you were. If they were still allowed their normie cards, then there wasn’t any reason you couldn’t get down and dirty every once in a while without having an existential crisis over it.

…As long as by ‘Once in Awhile’, you meant ‘Any Time He Gave You An Excuse’.

The first few times you tagged along to one of these events, it was typical for nosey audiences to be watching the two of you. Now it was only the has-beens and wannabes that still bothered you. You think you hated Villains with lingering Hero complexes more than overbearing civilians. At least you expected the latter to think you were less than them.

Do you know who that is? They’d corner you with hushed voices when Dabi was out of ear-shot, their tone implying anything other than conscious agency from the crippled foreigner.

The pope. What do you fucking think?

You’d want to shout Do you know who I am? Because the covered tattoo on your shoulder would shut them up real quick. But the answer would be, no.

They didn’t know who you were. That was the point. You didn’t talk about that on purpose.

Siren didn’t exist anymore.

You were trying to be good.

Lucky you, it didn’t take much longer to find Dabi. Good news: the VIP space was very close to the poolside door. Bad news: Based on his body language, you weren’t leaving any time soon. Whatever he was doing, it was getting irritating. He had the same stoic posture as usual, just with an impatiently tapping foot. And he wasn’t with any of the other thugs you saw him with earlier, the ones you guessed he was trying to win over. They were a lot more uppity than the people he usually dealt with, way too high-brow and established to risk dealing with an upstart like the League. You could’ve spared him the time and energy from the second you saw them talking—they were not League fans. Their tune was all wrong. And even if they were, they were far from meeting the type of standards a group like the League would be looking for.

Not that you knew what those standards were, of course. You didn’t ask and you insisted that you didn’t wanna know. No details, no involvement—those were the conditions you set. It was just a guess, guessing didn’t count. All you were here for was the drugs, the drinks, and the eventual sex. You were trying to be good now.

You took another drink.

Zzt zzt.

The sound of your phone snapped you out of your spiraling.

{if I wanted some stalker freak staring at me I would’ve brought toga.}

Dabi took a swig of his drink while his phone rested in his freehand. He didn’t acknowledge you in any other way.

Finally, you smiled.

{It’s not my fault. Stop being the prettiest boy in the room~}

You could see him roll his eyes from here.

Dabi had been your favorite thing to watch since you met him. Watching, listening, whatever you wanted to call it. It was a habit of yours that you had no intention on breaking—your ever-growing excuse to keep Siren closer to the surface than you should.

All the world was a stage and every human had a harmony to perform, and it used to be your job to chart out the melodies. It was the one and only skill you had over your family. You were almost certain it played a large part in your moms’ decision to take you in. It was always something you could do—you listened to your targets until you memorized every beat. Then you added your voice. Timing your words to the rhythm of their heartbeat, adapting to the tempo of their bones, matching the key of their Quirk with perfect pitch. A single missed step or chord out of place and you noticed like blood in the water. They’d be so enthralled with the perfect duet that they never noticed your voice leading the song. They never noticed that it was your show now and they were the mimicking puppet, blissfully following you all the way to the inevitable end at the bottom of your family’s shark-infested ocean.

Dabi was no different. Granted, you weren’t trying to kill or extort him, and his melody was a lot harder to tape down than others, you’d give him that. To put it bluntly, it was unpleasant. Repellent was an even better word. It sounded wrong, cacophonous. Like…two different songs layered on top of each other and fighting for the lead. Far too bright and intense and hot to listen for long. But somehow, he took the stage and paired the noise with an effortless stride. His steps were controlled, steady. So deceptively quiet you almost didn’t notice him the first time he was in your store. You watched him turn the madness into the most elegant choreography you’d ever seen. A swan on the water.

If it was anyone else, you would’ve minded your business. But maybe you’d been good for so long that now, you were just bored enough Siren couldn’t resist the challenge. Maybe it wasn’t anything to do with his song, but how you were so homesick you couldn’t ignore someone who felt so familiar, so much like the walking ghosts you were used to. Either way, you hadn’t stopped watching him since.

Although the longer this went on, the more it felt like you were the one under the spell.

Dabi didn’t entertain you with a further response, instead downing the rest of his drink. The sloshing liquid made you feel like you were swaying with it. It felt like you were being rocked by the waves. You closed your eyes again. Waves made you think of swimming, and swimming made you think of the pool. You turned your gaze to the outside to catch a glimpse of the water, but all you could see was the top of a table’s umbrella.

It took about five more seconds for you to solidify your decision.

[Come outside with me] You text Dabi quickly but you were already moving toward the door.

[no. why.]

[Want the water]

[course you do.]

[=(((((( Don’t be mean. If they’re gonna keep you waiting around, you might as well wait with me.]

Again, he didn’t respond. You pouted at your phone. Unfortunately, you were just high enough to try your luck a little further.

[Pretty please? I want you to sit with me.]

He exhaled, his shoulders twitching just a bit more than they should. A knowing grin grew on your face. Exactly what you were looking for. You studied his steps. You charted impossible melodies. You hummed along with harmonies that made your mouth burn until finally, you followed the performance. You could keep up with him. After months of watching his flawless routine, there was only ever one misstep. The only note you had on him.

I want you.

Didn’t matter when, how, or why you said it. Whenever you told him you wanted him, there was always a sudden stutter in his rhythm. Expertly corrected, blink and you’d miss it. Every performer knew that the audience only recognized mistakes if you told them, and Dabi was nothing short of a professional. You thought that was why he was so good at this. No one ever watched long enough to know the difference.

But you did.

You could dance and sing with the boy in the water all you wanted, but once he bleeds you’ll remember you have fangs.

You memorized the note and sang it again. And again. You watched him trip on the sound of your words until your mouth watered. Curiosity turned predatory—the part of Siren you couldn’t kill. As soon as you found that perfect note of desire, you couldn't help but sing encore after encore until they drowned in it. It was a compulsion. You tried variations. Different tempos, different octaves. You swished the sound around in your mouth and probed your tongue along its edges like a missing tooth. Strangely, it tasted cold. You wondered if that was the appeal, if every refrain was like a single drop of rain on him.

I want you to listen to this with me! I think you’ll like it. (Fingers twitch.) When are you coming back? I want to see you. (Throat clears.) Do you like sweets? I want to make something for you! (Rubs his neck.) I want you to stay. (Jaw tightens.) Want you to kiss me. Want you to touch me. Want you, right there, please, please, please. (A hitched breath.) (A harder kiss.) (A choked moan.)

But he never gave you more than a flinch. Never more than a glance at the waves before he corrected. It drove you a little nuts. You wanted to see him fall. You wanted to pull him under. How long would you need to hold the note to break his performance? How many times did he need to hear your song before he loved your voice more than air? Dabi wouldn’t even tell you his name. He couldn’t be mad you were like this. It was like dangling himself on a hook and expecting you not to bite.

You were trying to be good, but you can't change your nature.

When he still didn’t give you a response, you sighed—dramatically enough that he could see your shoulders lift and fall with the motion—but didn’t bother pestering him further. There was a fine line between playful banter and being a pest when it came to Dabi, and you were getting quite proud of yourself for figuring out how to blur the boundaries, just enough to get under his skin in a good way. If anything, it made the sex better.

Instead, you clicked your teeth a few times for Apollon to follow you and help you out the door. The second the night air hit your face, you exhaled. You hadn’t realized how stifled you felt inside. Out here, everything was so still. You stopped moving and inhaled the moonlight. The silvery threads were cool and calming against your skin. It was like you stepped into the safety of a liminal space, outside of time, outside of the rest of the world. Only the dampened boom of the music to remind you of the real world waiting behind you.

When you opened your eyes again, the glow of the pool was waving along any surface it could reach. It kissed you with the same light, calling you. Apollon perched himself on the poolside table closest to you as you moved closer to the water. You kept moving until you reached the light, until the purples and blues lighting up the water rippled along your face. The closer you got, the more urgent it felt. Like something was lurking behind you and this was the only sanctuary.

There was a reason humans always searched for water to repent.

You snapped out of it when Apollon chirped with concern. He watched you from on top of the table, curled into a comfortable ball. Any closer and you would’ve sunk like a rock.

“Oh, stop. You’re not gonna let me fall in.” You laughed it off. Apollon responded best in English, by design. A small security measure to make sure he only responded to you. Not that he didn’t ignore everyone else anyway.

You pointed at your high heels. “Help me take these off.”

He made another quiet noise to let you know his hesitance, but did what you asked. Your heels floated from your feet first, then with another point, you floated down to the edge of the pool. Apollon kept pressure on your spine so you could sit up properly—you were a ragdoll outside of your wheelchair, even on a sober night. This way, you could dangle your feet in the pool.

You were weightless like this. It was the only time you could really move so easily. You didn’t even mind the freezing water. The cold forced you to take in a slow breath, and it was like the first breath you’ve taken all night. It cleared up your head a little, drifted you back to the floating cloud of your high. You closed your eyes and let yourself sway to the music. It changed to a song you knew, warped by the DJ to be slower and pitched down. It sounded distant and muffled, like you were listening underwater.

(“It’s a secret society. All we ask is trust. All we got is us…”)

You hummed along under your breath and lost yourself in the ripples of the water. The coolness kept the doubt away, so much so that you nearly forgot what made you so desperate to come outside in the first place.

And then you noticed the moon.

Or the lack thereof, rather. A waning crescent. The reflection glistened on top of the neon glow of the pool. A tiny sliver of light, uselessly persisting against its shadowy fate, even its reflection nearly swallowed by the dancing blue of the water. Your stomach twisted at the sight. Once again, you were suffocating. Peace evaporated just as soon as it arrived. Now the music only reminded you of what you were running from. The walls were closing in on you, just like that moon. It was only something you could avoid for so long.

You were trying to be good, but you can’t change fate. (”Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty…”)

If you want out, then be out. Your eldest sister’s voice echoed over the thumping bass in your head, the last thing she said to you after finding out about your recent flirting with Villainy. Her disappointed tone still shivered hollow in your bones. You could always tell when it was her talking and not the spirits using her Channeling Quirk—while they always twisted her features into the manic bloodthirst most were familiar with, she, herself, only ever looked tired. You haven’t seen or heard from her since, but her voice still haunted you like one of her ghosts. Looming in the shadows, like that moon’s underbelly, chastising your indecision.

Even now, Apollon could help you swim if you wanted. Would keep the water from getting into the tube in your throat. But this is all you do. It was the same problem no matter where you ran.

You can never commit.

("Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty…")

“What the hell are you doing?”

You jumped, once again getting snapped out of your spiraling. You tilted your head all the way back, Apollon supporting your movements but not enough to let you fall. Dabi was near the door, a cigarette dancing between his fingers now instead of a drink. His delicate face was scrunched up with a rare expressive look.

“There he is!” You smiled, bright and inebriated. There was a sigh of relief in your voice. Your favorite distraction, always in the nick of time. “I knew you’d miss me. Or were you just bored?”

“Wanted a smoke.” He mumbled around the stick now pressed between his lips, his expression returned to its usual sour scowl. He narrowed his eyes at you. “What’s wrong?”

“Just needed some air,” you said, swallowing the automatic ‘nothing’ and opting for more believable half-honesty. Dabi didn’t tell you his full truth, and right now you weren't interested in telling him yours. “Think I’m getting a bad trip. Got really paranoid all of a sudden.”

“Don’t get so fucked up I gotta deal with you crashin' later. ‘M not your babysitter.”

“Oh, such a Gentleman.”

Without another word, he cupped his hands around the cigarette, blue light sparking it to life. You watched him blow out a stream of smoke, staying downwind from you. He didn’t say anything more, so you signaled Apollon to sit you back up and returned to kicking at the water.

As soon as you weren't looking, you felt the blue embers of his gaze heating up your back again. You pretend you didn’t notice, only because you knew it drove him nuts. Another one of his rare tells. Dabi hated talking, but if he thought you were ignoring him you could nearly count to a beat when he’d speak again.

1. 2. 1-2-3-4—

Exhale.

“You fall into that, m’not fishin’ you out.”

You smiled to yourself. (”I’m always on your mind…”)

“That’s fine. I got Pollo.” You said with a shrug. You played your part well. Nonchalant and coy. You thought he liked it better when you pretended not to know what he wanted.

Apollon chirped smugly and Dabi scoffed again. You still weren't looking at him. Eventually, you heard him stomp out his cig, followed by his heavy footsteps. You feel the heat from his body before anything else. He sat behind you, just close enough to place his hands around your hips, but Apollon growled before he could fully reach you. A psychic pulse kept his hands from getting any closer, like a sudden field of gravity.

“Call off your damn beast,” Dabi snapped. Your snickering only made him more irritated.

“Pollo, be nice. Let him go.”

Another disapproving growl. He did what you asked, but laid down and kept an unflinching gaze on Dabi, waving his tail in the air to sense any changes before they happened. There was a grumble from Dabi you couldn’t make out, then his hands were finally on you. Warmer than you usually liked, but not completely uncomfortable. He was irritated. Maybe tired too.

“You’re freezing,” he said. His grip briefly tightened on you again, tugging you a little closer to him and out of the water before you placed your hands on his to stop him. The idea of leaving the water still made your stomach drop.

“Aww. You care about me.”

His voice sharpened. “You’re not much use to me sick, are you?”

“Guess not.” When he bristled at your matching sarcasm, you laughed under your breath. “So, I take it by your current winning attitude that recruitment isn’t going well?”

“Thought you didn’t wanna know the details?”

“It doesn’t count if I can guess.” You pouted. “But you’re right, you don’t have to tell me if—”

“No. It’s not going well,” Dabi snapped. Usually he played along a little longer. He must've been more tired than you thought.

He exhaled deeply, then you felt his forehead resting against your back. He grumbled against your skin.

“Waste of my fuckin’ time. Nothin’ but tasteless trash, as usual.”

“Don’t you usually kill them when they’re like that?” You started rubbing your thumb along the top of his hand, trying to aid the soothing process.

“Gotta squeeze some money out of ‘em first.”

“Oh? The League’s broke?” You said. “I can pack up some leftover food from the store if you need it.”

“Typically humans need more than sweets to live.”

“Damn, that’s wild. But see, there’s also this thing called takeout, and I have like, a real job, so I can exchange money for goods and services.”

“Doesn’t sound very uninvolved to me.”

You took back what you said—he was fine. You could feel his petty little smirk on your back. The banter was probably helping him recover, the bastard.

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before continuing. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, doll. Haven’t starved yet, not gonna start now. Just got a few more negotiations before I can seal the deal.”

“Negotiations?” You quirked a skeptical eyebrow at him. “You know that ‘trash’ is planning on jumping you later, right?”

“Aw, you care about me.”

You smiled back, poisonously sweet. “Not very useful to me dead, are you?”

He shrugged. “Wouldn’t make much of a difference. I’m already dead.”

This time it was you that bristled at his answer.

He said it on purpose. You could feel the smirk still there. On a normal night, it would only be mildly irritating. You’d ignore it, or sidestep. He’d commented about being dead since you’ve known him—it was such a common statement out of his mouth that you wondered if he was trying to remind you or himself. Still, you always flinched. It never mattered that you knew what he was doing, that you heard the intentionally dropped beat in the performance every time, you always fell for the bait. He loved reminding you that it wasn't just you.

He had your number too.

“You know I don’t think that’s funny.” Your voice was uncharacteristically quiet. If he noticed, he ignored it.

“Wasn’t joking.”

Again, he was just as bad as you. Pressing the only button he knew just to hear how your voice stalled.

Just to see for a fact that he affected you.

Salt drenched your tongue and turned your voice bitter. It was to the point where you didn’t trust the sound it'd make if you spoke, so you swallowed it down to the best of your ability and focused back on the water. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of hearing your sour notes. It was what he wanted after all. When Dabi was mean, his song turned cold. Feral flames swapped for a freezing arctic. It was a lot more effective on you. You could be as good as you wanted, but the ocean’s salt would always linger on your skin, and mixing salt with ice seared just like a flame.

Both of you were too stubborn to get off the stage first, so it was a frequent competition to see who would win: your drive to pull him under or his drive to push you away and prove himself right.

There was blood in the water and demons were just as hungry as sirens.

There was a long, tense silence between the two of you. Ignoring him worked just as well as anything you’d say or do. You’d silently steep in the toxic waves and poison you both before you gave in. But soon, you felt his mouth moving against your back. Slow, soft. Absent, even. It was something to do with his mouth other than suck on a cig, but most importantly it was something you couldn’t ignore. Even if you wouldn't talk to him, his presence was still undeniable.

For someone who insisted he was dead, he sure did hate when people acted like he wasn’t around.

He gradually inched up to your shoulder, then your neck. His body temperature slowly cooled to the usual warmth you sunk into. You hated how nice this was when you were still so irritated. Even with the tiniest touch, his heat spread through the branches of your veins like a good high. Fireworks bursting in slow motion. Champagne bubbles floating to the top until your head was swimming again. With your lack of muscle, it was hard as hell to gain warmth and just as easy to lose it. Dabi made you so spoiled. A few hours in his presence and you forgot how cold the rest of the world was without him. Even the water seemed warmer. You closed your eyes and sighed quietly. The sound morphed into a quiet hum under your breath.

“I noticed, by the way.”

Dabi’s voice interrupted the syrupy sound of your humming and pulled you back to your irritation. At some point, you leaned over for him to get a better angle at your neck. His mouth moved with a little more intention now, possession tinging his lips. There was no way you were going back inside without a few new marks to show for it. Dabi’s apologies were never spoken, only delivered in deeper kisses, lighter touches, softer words. Whatever he can to make you feel good.

“What?” Your voice still came out as a cross murmur.

“The thugs that are gonna jump me? I noticed,” he said. “Kill ‘em later. After I get you home.”

The word made you tense again. He said it so goddamn casually. He started slipping every now and then and calling your place ‘home’. You didn’t think it started intentionally, but as soon as he heard your voice shake in response, it was too late. It didn’t take long for an accident to turn into a test. Now he did it at least once every time you saw him. More so if he thought he made you legitimately upset. Whenever he spoke it, there was always a question hidden in the off beat. A whisper, something cold again. Like a toe in the water to make sure you really wouldn’t bite. (”Loyalty, Loyalty, Loyalty…”)

Normally, you would take the time to sing around his trap and answer correctly, dodging anything that would be too encouraging (or you’d scare him off) without being too discouraging (or you’d never hear that chilled vulnerability again). But tonight, it was especially irritating. That little timid voice still asking if it’s safe, like you would leave him for this littlest thing. Like you were the flight risk. Like he wasn’t the one literally reminding you that he would never stay. Nothing you want would ever stay. No matter how far you ran, no matter how good you pretended to be, you were doomed to watch it die and fade away, just like that moon.

How dare he call your place home when the only space he planned on claiming as his was six feet under.

You finally gave in and let the salt flavor your tongue. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I don’t fuck corpses.”

“Oh? Since when?”

“Since always, jackass.”

There was a brief pause before he shrugged again. ”Guess you can go home then.”

“Dabi.”

He laughed. A quiet, wheezy chuckle that paired perfectly with his smirk. It made an irritatingly pleasant shiver run along your thighs, even now. He returned his mouth below your ear and you let him.

“There’s my girl.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You scowled, but still decided to signal Apollon to let you slouch back into him. “Keep ruining my buzz like this and you won’t have to worry about the thugs. I’ll kill you myself.”

Another whispered sound of smug amusement brushed against your hair. “I’d let you try.”

“How romantic.”

The lazy rhythm of Dabi’s lips was replaced by the slow drag of his fingertips along your arm. Compared to the rest of him, his scarless fingers felt like silk. You wiggled yourself closer so your head was underneath his chin. You were barely in the water anymore. He was sneaky, tangling you further into the seductive heat of his body with every inch you relinquished to him from Apollon. It looked as cozy as it felt, you were sure.

But cozy or not, even this was calculated. You almost always did this after he said those stupid comments about dying or already being dead. Obviously he wasn’t. But he said it with such conviction, and the sound of his voice was never the right pitch for sarcasm or jokes. Despite what you could clearly see with your eyes, it always made you so anxious. So, in your cuddled position, you angled a little so your ear was against his chest, and you listened. It probably would’ve been even more subtle to check his pulse points, but Dabi’s wrists were covered in too much scar tissue for you to ever get a good reading. Instead, you could always hear it thudding along the healthy strip of his chest. After a few seconds, you would pull out your phone and use it to count.

It was always still beating. Maybe a little faster than it should be from all the stress he put his body under, but still beating. Still breathing. Still here.

Dying, maybe. But not dead.

You were very aware it was an important difference.

Once upon a time, it was just another part of the deal. Dabi was clearly hellbent on checking out, but that terminality was one of the main appeals. You knew what Villains were like. He was just as temporary as you were. This way, you could both get your kicks, you could get the teetering threat of relapse out of your system, and there wouldn’t be any reason for attachments when you both knew exactly what you were getting into. Limited time was built in the design. Quick, easy, painless.

You wonder if he used the same justifications for you in the beginning.

You wonder if it was backfiring for him the same way.

It was why you left. You spent your whole life being told and expecting that you would be the buried, not the burier. It was the bond your whole villainy was based off of. Everyone was dying here. You were all on a train to Hell one way or another. It didn’t matter how or why. You all had the same destination, the same rage, the same brutal apathy. Death was inevitable, and the only thing that mattered was making sure every Hero fuck that signed your sentence felt it when you finally reached that stop. It was a lot less scary when you had people to laugh about it with. It was spoken like a badge of honor. Yeah, the world wants me dead too. Come on in.

And then you woke up one day with the audacity to want to live. (”I’m hangin’ on the fence again…”)

The realization gnawed at you with panicked desperation. You looked around and discovered that everyone you loved was dying much faster than you, killing themselves in a blaze of glory. This wasn’t a party, it was a suicide pact. None of the civs or the Heroes tried to intervene because this was the point—the job was being done for them. The only way to win the game was to not play at all. Get to the exit. Live.

But it was what the Heroes never understood, and something you should’ve known better.

Everyone else always knew where the exit was.

It was always there, in blinking neon, unlocked and unguarded. Anyone could leave whenever they wanted. It’s why no one tried to stop you. This was what your Moms did, after all, since they retired from their own battle wounds—worked in the shadows, helped those who wanted out disappear without a trace, supported those who didn’t, take in the unwanted in-betweens until they could make a choice. Like you. Like your family. Like your sister.

Everyone knew they were free to go, but there was never anything to save.

And this is what Heroes would never understand. Why things would never get better until the question was addressed. They could point out the exit sign all they wanted, try to heroically lead them into a bright new future, but every Villain would always ask the same thing:

Why?

You didn’t think you’d be waiting here, dancing with the burning boy on the train tracks, if you ever found a good answer.

(”10-4, no switchin’ sides…”)

You looked up at him without moving your head. His eyes were fixed on the still water with an empty gaze. He was somewhere far away, farther than you could reach. Sometimes Dabi looked so goddamn fragile you thought you’d split at the seams, like him. The blue reflection from the water danced along his skin like his flames, and he looked so beautiful in your element that your chest ached at the unfairness of it all. You never wanted a Quirk more in your life. You wanted to be able to hum and wrap his wounds in water. Put the pain that was so loudly screaming out of his skin to rest with soft, cool lullabies. Whisper a single sound and keep him here with you a little longer.

You insisted that you didn’t want to be involved, but you started keeping ice packs and bandages tucked away for him, in the same spot as the black market quirk suppressants you still keep for your sister, just in case. The occult and mysticism books you borrowed about restless ghosts were piled with the new highlighted articles about burn wounds. You memorized the numbers of Dabi’s burner phones like everyone in your family, and you couldn’t help clocking the twitches and tells of the men he talks to like you were still a good spy for the cause. You let him stay in your house, your bed.

You let him hear you sing. (”Ain’t no other love like the one I know…”)

Sometimes, on the rare occasions you woke up before him, and he was still sleeping softly next to you, you thought about telling Apollon to bring you the syringe in the cupboard. They only worked for about two hours on your sister anymore, but you were sure Dabi wouldn’t have as much of a tolerance. You could keep him from going back out there. Without a Quirk, Apollon could easily keep him from running away or trying to fight. He would be safe, and you could finally, finally do something other than watch while those you loved destroyed themselves. There was no need to go back inside. It’s safer in the water. Stay, stay, stay.

But you can never commit.

You were trying to be good.

The song was long over but it still played in your head. (”Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty”)

It haunted you with a demand you couldn’t run from. (”Tell me who you’re loyal to”) You said you wanted to move far away from your old life, but you made sure that your store was far on the outskirts of town, off the path for Heroes, easily accessible for any undesirables that might need some bread or sweets, or a place to warm up…or flowers for their mom. You said you didn’t want to be a Villain anymore, but you wouldn’t serve licensed Heroes.

(”I said, tell me who you’re loyal to”) You refused to use your support items, but the metal rings around your fingers never felt as heavy as when you were sitting on the train, listening to the civs gush about Heroes. You were trying to be good, but you listened to them cheer and celebrate the capture of the ones like you—the people you love (“Does it start with your woman or your man?”)—and your perfect pitch stalls. It was the one note you couldn't hit. They made you want to honey your voice like you used to, lead them along like oblivious puppets. Warp the role of non-threatening into a eulogy for the ones that forced it on you, the last sound they ever heard before the snarls of your family’s bloodthirsty Quirks. (“Does it end with your family and friends?”)

But then you remember what happened last time. The blood. The screaming. Something suffocating on itself. It was why you left, wasn’t it? You knew better. There was only one thing this life could give you. You were cursed just like that moon. At some point, there would be no more delaying it. It felt right, it felt like home, but when you woke in the morning there was no one left but you.

So in the end, you always kept your mouth clenched shut.

You were trying to be good.

(”Are you loyal to yourself in advance?”)

“Dabi.” You spoke with your own eyes on the water, fixated on the rippling moon. “Can we go?”

“Now?”

You nodded. There was a sudden spark of urgency inside you. You couldn’t stand to be in this place for another second. You were trying to be good now. There was a house waiting for you. For him. You didn't have to go back in there. You could lock yourselves behind those doors and sing until he didn’t remember there was a life before your voice, until his touch burned the blood from your skin and finally made you clean again. You would cling to what you loved until you wasted away or they did, and not a second sooner.

You tilted your head to kiss Dabi’s neck. Just a single, soft smooch. You knew he couldn’t feel it there, but you always did it anyway, leaving a bright red lipstick mark as proof. Mine. If you weren't allowed anything else, this counted as something.

“Want you.” You looked up at him from the crook of his neck. It was the truest thing you said all night. “Please?”

He stared at you. The full force of his sapphire eyes was disarming, like his own siren charm. You could tell that he was studying your face for something. Like he knew there was more to your shifting mood tonight than a bad trip. There was something hidden in your notes—something silent, something off. But you wouldn’t let him hear it. He wouldn’t even tell you his name. He didn’t want to know. You didn’t want to tell him.

“Yeah. Alright.” His stare never wavered, like he was still focused on listening. But when you still wouldn’t give him what he was searching for, he started to move. “They should be back by now.”

He whistled at Apollon and nodded his head toward you. For as much as they didn’t like each other, they’d gotten into a groove. Moving in time with their own routine, at least when it came to you. It was a seamless transition—you barely had the chance to wobble before the weightless feeling of your pet’s Quirk replaced his embrace.

But as soon as Dabi left, you shuttered. It was a jarring shock. The cold seeped into your bones until your limbs were heavy with ice. You cussed with chattering teeth. Apollon floated you back in your chair quick enough, but the cold overshadowed everything. It caused time to start again. How long had you been out here? When did the song change? You didn’t recognize it. The bass thumped in your chest to an ominous rhythm that felt more like a hungry threat. The growl of the inevitable before it swallowed you whole. It was enough to snuff out what little sparks of resistance you were gaining. Instead, they were replaced with a desperate need. You kept saying you didn’t want to be involved, but what good was abstinence when this was your reward? The water kept you safe and secure, but what was the point of safety without warmth?

You were trying to be good, but you were so, so cold.

“You comin’?” Dabi turned to your shivering form. You heard the ghostly echo of a familiar song, refusing to die, whispering with his waiting steps and wrenching itself in the center of your ribs.

(”All I want is, all I want is…”)

“Yeah.” Your voice is a resignation. Out of the cold, but into the dark.

At least he’s a light.

#dabi #touya todoroki #dabi x reader #sometimes I do this thing with words #dabi!oneshot #Loyalty oneshot #I CAN FINALLY DROP THE TITLE YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I'm so nervous about posting this lol #Youtube

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blamemma · 7 months

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what you said about maxiel fanfics with endgame lest4ppen, yes, I agree. someone mentioned this before, but maxiel is slowly dying on ao3 while it seems to be thriving more and more on tumblr.

for me it's 50/50 because I don't mind where I'm reading, but here we have more one-shots and pieces of WIPs (which is good because it means authors don't feel the pressure to turn everything into a 50k story, so they can just post their ideas even if it's incomplete), but I personally LOVE longer stories, so I would love to read more and more about every single one of them.

and personally I just don't like lest4ppen at all. I understand the need to tag maxiel because daniel is the bad guy and the "shitty boyfriend" or whatever, but I just don't like seeing those stories 😬

will always preface asks like this by saying people can like what they like and find joy in whatever, i ain't gunna turn my nose up at anyone or anything, lestappen just doesn't make sense to meeee personally, but honestly whatever butters ur bread!!!

as someone who has dabbled here and there in this writing lark, for me there is a distinct difference in ao3 posting and tumblr posting....ao3 to me is formal, ur presenting something perfect, a fully-fledged story, a beginning a middle and an end (not in all cases but i just mean in general). most stuff i read on ao3 is fully-fledged nuanced ideas that the author has obviously spent hours of time crafting and experimenting with.

tumblr fic is inherently fun and blase and easier to throw out there into the ether and forget about really. tumblr fic doesn't need to follow grammatical rules or structure etc etc....it can just be a fun prompt game response or a quick lil fic that you had fun writing and wanna share with ur people?? both have purposes and both are enjoyable to write imo, just depends on what ur feeling and how much u want to expand on said idea??

when it comes to the maxiel of it all....idk how rude or pointed i can get here without getting into shit....so i'll try and word this gently....you have to keep the eco-system alive....i think comments and kudos are GREAT but honestly, if someone reblogs my fic with a fun few tags, i love that more, because in a selfish way, i might get 1 or 2 more readers from that because its going out to an even wider audience?? but its more than that!! engage with ur writers, message them on here and shout at them about their ideas, send them prompts, recommend their fic to ur friends...but i will stand by i think one of the best things you can do, if they make a fun lil post or graphic for their fic...reblog it...ur not only spreading the maxiel gospel, but ur also supporting that writer?? too many times on here i see people's fic graphics flop yet big blogs are leaving them comments on ao3 and look, EACH TO THEIR OWN and also i can sometimes be a bad reblogger dont get me wrong, but LIKE, there are some wildly talented authors on here who just need to be pushed into the limelight a little bit more??? idk if im wording this correctly, but sometimes there are fics that fall through the cracks because no one engages with them, and if ur an author who has put blood sweat and tears into that fic, ur not exactly going to be motivated to post another maxiel fic if u dont think ur going to get engagement from it (again, fic writing isn't necessarily about engagement or response, but let me tell u when i get a fun little comment or someone messages me about a fic i published, it inspires me to write more????)

maxiel is definitely alive and kicking, i follow some stunningly good maxiel authors, but at the same time, its about pushing forward those smaller writers as well and not thinking ur too cool for them???????????????

and so with that, this flufftober, kinktober, spooktober or whatever tober u are a part of, reblog the fic, talk about the fic and enjoy the fic

#if u can understand what i am trying to say here then well done cause i dont think i even do #mean thats a lie i do know what im trying to say but i know a lot of people would hate me if i said what i actually wanted to say :))#anon #asks

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lexa-griffins · 8 months

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Okay, so last night I was in the mood for an Alpha Clarke fic and was blown away by the search.

137??? And most aren't completed (which I think we can agree is thanks to the troll). 😔 Like I finally feel your pain, cos I'm more in the likes to switch things up/open minded in regards to their roles. But damn. Seriously , that 1% of Clexa fics!!

And I've read damned near all of them. 😭 Do you have any recs? Because though I've decided to write an Alpha Clarke fic (because we obviously need more), I need something to read until I finish my current WIP!!

Sorry this is a bit of a late answer!!! But oh yeah, it is a very small percentage. And in those are included one-shot compilations that have both presentations tagged. And there is also a small share of prologue type fics there so even that number isn't 100% individual fics. It is scarse over here on the alpha!clarke/omega!Lexa side. Some alpha!clarke fics would sometimes pop up and then be deleted soon after because of hate (and this was before the newest troll popped up) and I've seen authors justifying themselves in comments over and over as to why they chose to write alpha!clarke. Combined with the decline in comments it doesnt really breed a place for writers to write for what is a smaller niche in the fandom, especially if they aren't a little more established in the fandom :/

So while I doubt I'll be giving you any new recs because you've mentioned you've read nearly them all, here are some of my faves:

Head vs Heart Series - i mean, this is the OG really

Yours series by @owl127

Let's Go Burn Down Your House

The Royal Consort (Unfinished)

How Can I Get Back to You (Also unfinished but oh its totally worth the read)

Send Me Away with the Words of a Love Song

Halley's Comet

Oops by @bottom-lexa

For my Heda

We Need to Talk - now this one is alpha x alpha but its so well written that if you havent i totally recommend the read!

I cant really recommend you your own fic but if anyone hasnt read @vmplvr1977 alpha clarke / omega Lexa fic, Echoes of You (Within me) i highly recommended it too! ✨️

#letter opened #vmplvr1977 #alpha clarke #omega lexa #fic rec #i doubt im giving you any new rec 😅 unfortunately theres only so much to rec

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thisapplepielife · 6 months

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I'm very belated for this, but thanks for the tag @hbyrde36!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18! But a lot of those are in the Wildflowers series. (Maybe it should have been chaptered? I still don't know what the right answer was, lol.)

So, I basically have 3 things to read, if you count the two parts of the Jagged Little Pill series as one, and I always do. Wildflowers is for those that wanted more of Tuesday's, and not that many people wanted to read Tuesday's in the first place, haha. So it's a niche of a niche. But I hold it close to my heart, and it makes me happy that a few of you have been so on board with it, too. ❤️

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

487,289. Which is kind of crazy. I just looked, and I started writing You Oughta Know on July 30th, 2022. From then until today, that's 457 days. That's averaging over 1,000 words a day. That seems wild. (And I've got a lot of unpublished words still in the chamber, haha.)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Stranger Things right now, but I'm not opposed to branching out as the mood strikes. I think I'd love to take on David/Patrick of Schitt's Creek someday.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Take the Money and Run (by a country mile, lol)

You Oughta Know

I'm Brave, But I'm Chicken Shit

Tuesday's Gone With the Wind

You Don't Know How It Feels (I didn't realize it had overtaken the first part of Wildflowers, so that's fun! More readers must have enjoyed the look at the Corroded Coffin boys, and I dig it.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I definitely try to respond to them all. Sometimes I'm a little slow about it though, sorry!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I like a happy ending. But Time to Move On, I guess? It's just a part of a series, so it's not like the ending is permanently sad, but that one does end at a sad point in their lives.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them are pretty happy, but I'm partial to the epilogue ending of Take the Money and Run. That will always have my heart. ❤️

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a very little, so I feel pretty lucky.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, and I write what fits the larger story, I hope. I've written M/M and F/M, so far. I haven't done a full PWP, though some of the parts of Wildflowers were supposed to be that, but the dang plot kept getting in the way. Whoops.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Just little brief ones, so far. There's a couple in Take the Money and Run that I find fun, but if you don't get them, I don't think they detract from the story.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, and I'm not sure it'd work for most of my stuff, with all the mixed media.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I'm not sure how good I'd be at that. I write by jumping all over the place. That'd probably be annoying for someone else to deal with, lol!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

All time? Man, that's hard. I'm obviously deep in a Steddie hole at the moment. But I'll go with my first. Pacey and Joey of Dawson's Creek. They brought me into fandom, into fic, so they get the gold star. (For more current ships, definitely Steddie and David & Patrick of Schitt's Creek.)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I don't really post anything I'm not basically finished with. But from my private stash, I like the idea of Here You Come Again, but I just have been writing other stuff. I'm going to take on my other Steddie (Untitled, But Not Really) WIP during NaNoWriMo. I've never done that before, so I thought might be fun, since I saw you can go rogue and write 50,000 words on something that isn't brand spanking new. So, even if that fic doesn't need 50,000 words to finish (and I'm not sure it does) it might give me the push to try to finish it up. I've been sitting on my hands on it since I decided to sign up, which is fine, I needed to finish up Wildflowers. (And get ahead on my Steddie Holiday Drabbles: I've finished 8 of the 30 so far.)

16. What are your writing strengths?

From the comments, I'm going to go with that I can make readers laugh from time to time, which makes me so happy. I also like to dig into the research.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Um, also the research, lol. Sometimes I'll be researching until I'm just wasting time. Some things really don't matter in the big picture. (But they do to me!!) And I need to learn to let them go.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

That's not something I've done, I don't think. But I have tried to respond to comments that were written in a different language using Google Translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dawson's Creek. Many, many moons ago. At the turn of the millennium. (That's fun to say, ha!)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Unpopular opinion time! I know Take the Money and Run is more popular. By, well, a lot. And I do love it. It gave me the bug to write long fic again. But I have big feelings for Tuesday's Gone With the Wind. It was such an undertaking. All the mixed media. The endless research. And I fell in love with those characters in the process.

It wasn't as popular as TtMaR, but that's okay. It makes me very happy that it reached even as many people as it did. I know that author's note was enough to scare anyone away, haha. Add in the CNTW and it's amazing anyone read it at all. Thanks to those of you that did! You've made me so happy. ❤️

I'm so late for this, I'm not gonna tag, but if you haven't done it and want to, please do!!

#tag games #my writing #steddie fic #ao3 #fic writer #writing tag

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teledild0nix · 6 months

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @skeptiquewrites i love these games! this got very long so answers below the cut!

How many works do you have on ao3?

123 total but 22 HP fics

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

886,281

3. What fandoms do you write for?

i'm writing HP/drarry pretty exclusively at the moment and i've written the second largest number of fics for this fandom. but i've written like 69 sherlock holmes and/or bbcs fics and i think 16 good omens fics

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

they're all good omens fics in the 2k-3k range. none of my other fics even come close. my most popular drarry fic is Propinquity which makes sense it has a fun premise

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! i respond to comments when i have the time and energy and usually i do it in batches shortly after i've published something new

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't rlly write angsty endings. in the bbcs fandom i wrote an infidelity fic series where they're in a very unsustainable situation and i intended to write a final installment with a happy ending but i was so disenchanted by the last season of the show that i just never did. i've never written an angsty ending to a drarry fic. i find angst kinda boring tbh :p

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

almost every single fic i've ever written has a happy ending but the drarry fic i've written where the pov character has the most to cope with before he's happy is probably either propinquity or moonrise. they're also my youngest dracos, which probably has something to do with it. they've had less time to recover and grow. i think i have to give the edge to moonrise, actually because he's soooo sad and lonely at the beginning, and he develops this bond not only with harry but with ginny (they give each other stupid nicknames) and hermione (they have a very special scene toward the end of the series)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i didn't used to, but i've gotten a bit since i started writing drarry! there are a lot of polarizing characters and relationships, and people will sometimes tell me they didn't approve of how i handled something or other. i was too soft on dumbledore i was too hard on draco. oh well. no refund.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes! for me, smut is an important part of demonstrating the trust and intimacy between my leads as well as like. joy and playfulness. consequently my smut tends to be silly and jokey but also very romantic and sort of idealized.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i wrote a fleabag/bbcs crossover once where fleabag picks up john watson at her therapists' office but it's the only one i've ever written and it was sort of to tease of friend of mine

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a handful! mostly my good omens fics

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but i'd love to write one with @clytemenestras

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

i am not rlly a favorites kind of person but obviously drarry is doing something special for me rn. they are both Me and pushing their faces together and making them kiss is an act of self love <3

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i NEVER publish WIPs but i do have this 8th year WIP that i'm rlly struggling with and put it on the back burner. i think i'm just trying to do too many things with it and i get stuck and unsure of where to go first when i open the document. originally it was supposed to be a theater kids fic because i loved the idea of draco as a theater kid. but the version of draco that unrolls when i write is so exhausted and burned out and also he's kind of being shunned. he just isn't embodying the flamboyant joy i was imagining when i came up with the idea.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i'm very good at depicting relationships. my dialogue is good and my characters develop all these inside jokes and references that make them feel like real people.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

my fic tends not to be very plotty but idk if i consider that a weakness. i'm not trying and failing to write plot. i write what i intend to write. i guess i write pretty slowly, but i'm okay with that too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

draco often speaks french in my fic, and now that i think about it, it's usually to show his closeness with people who are not harry. i guess i have this idea that it's easy to reduce him to his interactions with harry, but he has social relationships outside of that. he's like. capable of pleasantries. he's chatting with his cousins he's chatting with madame maxime. it's a fun little way to make him a bit mysterious. that's one of the things harry likes about him, isn't it? what's that draco malfoy up to? what's he saying? it's fun!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

bbc sherlock

20. Favorite fic you've written?

it's hard to compare fics across fandoms and even within drarry it's hard to compare fics that are attempting such different things! i think maybe the relationship in A Gift of True Esteem is my favorite because they develop this really strong partnership and their respect for each other is so clear! i also get to drop in a lot of wizarding culture, like draco gives harry some books that i got to make up titles for, they go shopping together and out to dinner (i think i was inspired by the antiquing scene early in @tackytigerfic's Modern Love; it rlly stuck with me). they go to a museum run by goblins, they talk about how much hogwarts has changed and changes they still want to make. and i got to make up some homework assignments, which was fun too! Strangely enough this is also the fic i've gotten the most hate on! i rlly didn't think i had made any controversial choices when i was writing it but oh well lol. i love getting to look at how they might move through the world as adults. how they have changed and how the world has changed, and i just had a lot of fun with this one.

genuinely do not know who has already played so i tag @oflights, @thehoneybeet, and @vukovich if you want to <3

#hey honey you know that fic idea we were dming about the other day?#i am. writing it. trying.#lmk if you want to see a smidgen a sneak peek

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spicysix · 9 months

Note

I MUST, I MUST know about Punk Steve for your WIP tag game.

also tagging @stobinesque bc Read asked about it too ♡

so, as all my fics are, this one's inspired by a song. funny part is that the song is nowhere near anything punk skdksjda it's where do you go by flor, and it's more about the lyrics than the music itself, of course. it's mostly a concept, i haven't written anything for it yet but here's what it's about:

pre-steddie, from eddie's pov. i'm gonna have to do some research for this, since i know almost nothing about the punk scene, much less in the 80s/90s, much less in the usa. but i'm thinking they live somewhere with a good thrilling punk scene, moved there after they were able to defeat vecna. robin's there too, of course, because they're Steve&Robin, a single soul shared in two bodies. jonathan's there too, because he's the one to introduce punk music and the scene to steve first. not sure about the rest of them yet (but they'll probably all be there, my url isn't spicysix for nothing y'know)

i'm thinking it's a few years down the line, they're in their mid-twenties already. and it starts when eddie starts seeing some changes in steve, as he gradually grows into his punk self. i've seen this post once, not sure by who or when or where, about punk steve not necessarily changing his clothes or his hair or anything, and i absolutely love this. so he won't become that stereotypical punk dressed up guy, he'll still be just as preppy simply because i love that disparity

so it starts with steve's obvious change of music taste - i'm not into top 40's steve, but he was mostly a classic rock kind of guy, and as he and jonathan grow closer and jon introduces punk to him, eddie notices the different tapes steve starts collecting. then, he and jonathan start going out a lot at night, and it's not that they don't invite the rest of the gang, but they seem to like going just the two of them so they just let them. they usually come home drunk and high and sweaty and so fucking happy that it feels like sacrilege to mess with it. steve doesn't change his clothes absurdly, but when he goes out with jonathan he uses plain tees instead of polos, and sometimes he borrows jonathan's (and sometimes even eddie's) pants and shoes. he might get his ear pearced. at a certain point, he starts going out without jonathan, and further down he comes home not drunk or high anymore, but even more sweaty and even more happy, and with some bruises which actually makes eddie's brain short circuit (spoiler, steve's throwing himself into some moshpits heh)

so that's basically what the fic is about, eddie as an outsider seeing steve come and go night after night and changing so subtly but also so obviously, and actually improving his mood and becoming happier through those mysterious outings of his. using this new music and scene and people as a way to cope and heal and learn more about himself. and eddie's just curious, and just wants to know what's changing steve so much, and most of all, what's making him so happy because eddie's so happy that steve's happy. he kinda falls in love in the process 😌😌

ask me about my WIPs!

#lui answers #lui writes #i....talked a lot #anyway im soOoOo normal about punk!Steve i had to come up with my own version of him

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baynton · 6 months

Text

thanks for the tag @thelastplantagenet <3

for the sake of this tag game i'll only be using my main/current ao3 account to answer with. otherwise it'll get far too messy

1. How many fics do you have on AO3?

53, and i only made this account and started posting on it in january of this year. i'm very normal

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

144,946

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly just mat fandoms to be honest, although i've got like... 4? non-mat fics on this account. i will be disregarding those 4 fics from now on (because obviously bigger fandoms get more recognition and this is a Mat Account)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

- Cold Turkey - 24 kudos, pat/thomas

- Performance - 22 kudos, thomas/julian, thomas/getting bukkaked by all the ghosts

- Follow Through - 22 kudos, alison/thomas

- Simon Says - 20 kudos, mat/simon

- Permanently - 16 kudos, julian/thomas

obviously since ghosts is the biggest mat show, it makes sense (not really anyone reading fics for ymata, spy, the wrong mans, etc)

5. Do you respond to comments?

i'm a lazy shit, and usually forget. when my friends comment they also tend to message me about it in the mat discord (if you're 18+ and want to join hmu it's a lot of fun) where i post all my fics too, so i tend to reply to them over there to be honest, but sometimes when i remember or am particularly touched by a comment i will go and reply

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

definitely "tell me what you imagine, when you think of me." rip ariel. literally

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

okay well it's not actually finished yet, though i have a good idea of where i'm taking it when i get around to writing more, but i'd say Fixer-Upper probably. chris waltzes into joe's life, improves it, then starts giving him lots of kinky sex while they also dance around ~actually dating~ (which they will end up doing properly. when i get around to writing it)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

generally, no. i make it clear what my fics contain, whether that's kinks, rpf, dubcon/noncon, etc, so most people know not to click if they're not interested. i did have a hate comment on simon says a while back, i remember because it was genuinely funny

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, lol. and all kinds, ranging from sweet to kinky as sin

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i write many crossovers, i mean. i write a lot of mat character/mat character so like chris x joe (spy x reluctant persuaders), ariel x chris (ymata x spy), but yeah they're only really crossovers in the sense that i'm like hmm this mat character should fuck/date this mat character. the only ones i *properly* create a believable crossover world for are my chris x joe fics, because i'm very normal about them

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

don't see why anyone would bother stealing mine, the mat fandom is so tiny there's not much to steal. emma @toomanyfandomsneverenoughtime has written a few fics based on my favourite chris x joe crossover world i created, though, which isn't stealing but the greatest gift ever <3

12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, actually! i would 1000000% cowrite with emma though. if she wanted to :3

13. What's your all time favourite ship?

look. look.l ook. i can't choose between ariel x jamie and chris x joe but if i had to. chris x joe lol

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

i fully intend to finish my wips! i have the next chapter and a half written for Paid in Trade, i just haven't published it, and i've also got further plans for Fixer-Upper, and those are my only wips. most of my fics just tend to be smutty oneshots tbh

15. What are your writing strengths?

i write pretty good smut when i actually put in the effort, as opposed to being like oh god i have this smutty idea and i need to get it out of my head so i'm just gonna write it all in two hours and then post it because why not

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

having patience. i'm trying to write a longer sam/marat fic at the moment but i just keep wanting to rush ahead to the good bit rather than drag out the slow burn, even though i really want to. i'm impatient af tbh

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i only speak english and would probably definitely butcher another language. however if i ever have a need for a character to speak another language, i would probably make it czech so i could get @the-illuminated-one to provide me with actual sensical sentences as opposed to google translating it

18. First fandom you wrote for?

ohhhh wow kingdom hearts lol. but those are all wiped from the internet. there's still some ancient glee fics i wrote out there though, which came right after the kh era

19. Favourite fic you've written?

keeping it within the mat fandoms once again (otherwise i will just talk about my jopper fake dating fic which i am still so fucking proud of lol), probably come closer (ariel x jamie), but there's also a few fics i'm working on that are completely unpublished atm that i am very very attached to haha

and now for tagging. i tag @toomanyfandomsneverenoughtime, @sonnet-of-anarchy, @kore538, @goodonecap. no pressure, i just love u guys and know u all write. xo

#tag game #*fic #thanks t i loved doing this <3

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halfelven · 11 months

Text

love random not even logged in readers just dropping their 'constructive criticism' on your 100k+ story that you're putting online entirely for free. this is just a rant btw

"You obviously have a great talent and I think you should work on honing it some. As much as I’ve enjoyed the story, there are a few things that stand out that you might consider looking at. I feel like the story isn’t sure what it wants to be at times; is it character driven or plot driven? It doesn’t flow smoothly because sometimes we have these wonderful character vignettes, like Illumi and Kalluto on a road trip or Kite/Leorio/Gon/Killua in an apartment where plot doesn’t really feel important, followed by what feels like heavily plot driven beats, like Kalluto and the spiders. In addition, it contributes to confusion because sometimes we see established characterization turned on its head. Especially the weird way everyone all of a sudden just sort of was OK with Kalluto being a spider and then working with Illumi when they just went to all that trouble to escape him? It all kind of feels forced and not natural. You know?

Anyway, I’ll definitely keep reading and look forward to seeing what happens."

first: love you trying to sound legitimate with your "in addition" like this is some kind of writer's workshop. second: in what way would I, the writer, think that an incomplete part of my story in which the reader does not yet know most of the main motivations (they are only hinted at so far) feels forced and not natural when I know what's happening, where it is going (and where I haven't had other readers comment with confusion about that part)

and moving on. don't do this. also like i said this is a wip in and no, no one is cool with Kalluto being a spider and no they're not cool working with Illumi, really. it was already established that some of them /have/ been working with Illumi before this~ he's someone that they know. like have you never been in a seriously dangerous situation that you just have to get through before you get back to what you want?*** also at this point Chrollo's real motive hasn't been entirely revealed.

Killua keeps changing his mind about what he's doing because he's a scared kid whose self-hatred is destroying him from the inside out. the POV is so tight that I have to keep dropping reminders that what is stated in the narrative is often not true! Illumi's POV, for example, keeps showing Killua as really loving him and being happy he's around but struggling with a desire for freedom, while with Killua's POV he's terrified of Illumi most of the time. like how is that not obviously a distorted POV where you can't trust the narrator?

"where plot doesn’t really feel important, followed by what feels like heavily plot driven beats"

this part is especially irritating because it's like yeah that's how I want to write it? this isn't a published novel. I don't have to commit to making sure every scene is important to the plot. I can spend time writing a full scene about someone drinking a glass of water and then 13 chapters in a row that are for moving the plot forward. I didn't even tag it as a novel... I did tag it for unreliable narration and I keep getting annoyed that people keep ignoring that.

"I feel like the story isn’t sure what it wants to be at times; is it character driven or plot driven?"

it's both??? it's neither??? it's a fanfic??? why do I keep getting comments lately where people are expecting me to adhere to like fucking publishing standards. this keeps up and I will write a chapter which is entirely about a minor character drinking a glass of water. watch me. I'll write one about phinks drinking a glass of water and you'll like it*

"Overall, the story is good and presented a compelling alternative to CA. Look, each fan has their own opinion on CA and I know I didn’t like it. I think it was a product of what Togashi was going through as he began to experience health issues and then finding himself right back where he said he wasn’t going to be mentally after he ended his earlier manga. We can never know for sure, but it certainly had a “watch it all burn vibe” to it near the end. I honestly believe he wanted it to end with the finality of Gon’s suicide as a capstone statement, but was probably convinced to go a different route, which kinda of left a jarring feel in the narrative and culminated in a rather unsatisfying end to Gon and Killua’s journey. Despite that, I am very reluctant to read fics where the events of CA are erased or grossly modified and honestly yours is really the first long AU/alternate timeline I’ve enjoyed"

okay first of all, I love the CA arc. but I had to split a point off where Kite was going to survive. why do you have to leave this whole paragraph about how you think Togashi was or wasn't going to go with the CA on my fanfic? I didn't even write this as 'oh look at my alternative to CA bc I hated CA' I don't really look forward to hearing comments about how random people didn't like so and so aspect of the story that I'm basing my story off of. I've never written fanfic for a story that I didn't like (except for some things that I don't have published I wrote at a request for friends for a fandom they were into that I wasn't really) and yeah I've wanted to 'fix' aspects (like tolkien's treatment of women for example) but I am not looking for your 'this is what I hated about the source material' comments on my stories

tired of getting comments with little 'oh I didn't like your style at first but now I do' or 'here's how to fix your story!' unsolicited advice from people who aren't better writers than me (I don't even want it from people who would be better writers than me on stuff I'm just doing for fun and for free)

when did stuff like this become normal? at least don't be a coward and be not logged in so you can't even get a response notification. like girl they aren't cool with it! why do you think everyone is on guard standing around like they're in a fucking hostage situation? how do you see such wildly different interpretations from different character's POVs and think it's not intentional? what part about Kite watching Killua like a fucking hawk makes you think he's going to let Illumi take him after this?

like if you've never had to smile and pretend to be cool with your abuser (pretend to love them) or someone who was threatening you to keep someone else safe then good for you! it fucking sucks! also don't know how to explain to you what a child who is growing up in an extremely isolated abusive situation goes through (though I keep writing about it in this story you should catch on...) but it's a million back and forths with emotion and feelings--especially if their abuser does (to in some way or to some degree) love them. and it is often blaming themselves. I'm not letting my years of studying human psychology and child development go to waste here**

is this story perfect? no but I'm not gonna hire an editor for a fanfic. and everyone's interpretations of characters will be different. especially with child characters who are going through huge changes in the world around them and their personal lives. part of the appeal of fanfiction is 'who would they become if this happened instead?' *sorry I keep writing about starving and not having clean drinking water but I will never stop because that's what I grew up with and it's hell. also phinks drinking water would be compelling since I assume he'd have harder access to clean drinking water

**hunter x hunter is also one of the only stories I have encountered with characters who have backgrounds as fucked up as mine and Togashi's interest in human psychology really stands out.

***like good for you but that was most of my life and you sometimes just have to shut up and get through it. and no I will not put my notes in the right order bc I'm not being paid enough****

****I'm being paid nothing

#sorry i got one too many comments that irritated me #feel free to chime in if you're getting comments like this too #it's been really getting on my nerves lately #and making me not want to post anything #you're not my teacher or editor #and i don't use a beta reader bc i'd never post anything #if i had to think of it as work and not just for me #i already do writing for work where i have to really consider the reader #i also didn't like one commenter pointing out typos #i'll catch them at some point #they were like great chapter! here's all the mistakes i saw #so download the story and fix them yourself if they bother you so much you have to run through and do line edits #if you don't want typos i'd have to wait two to three months so the story looked fresh #to catch them before posting and i'm not doing that #you can think this sounds bitchy but writing is hours and hours of work #i could jot down five sentences just for myself and have a story for years just remembering what i was thinking when i wrote those #you want a perfectly edited story? then go read a professionally published book #oh i guess that's not good enough for you either #okay now i am being bitchy but in my defense #i'm not forcing them to read it

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thebreakfastgenie · 17 days

Text

Ao3 20 Questions

Tagged by @queerbashir! Thank you! I am tagging @onekisstotakewithme @koboldkatalyst @majorbaby @youngpettyqueen @xslytherclawx-writes and anybody else who wants to (please tag me if you do it!) because I never keep track of who among you writes.

1) How many works do you currently have on ao3?

2) What's your total ao3 word count?

92,888

3) What fandoms do you write for?

The ones I still think I'll write for again are MASH, The West Wing, and Star Trek.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

'Til Death (Un)does Us Part

5) Do you respond to comments?

Usually!! I try to, but sometimes it's hard and then it's been so long it feels weird to do it... I often do it anyway. I respond to most of them.

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh that's easy.

Downpour

If you choose to read this one, please heed "creator chose not to use archive warnings." It's there for a reason.

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8) Do you get hate on fics?

I haven't! I did get anon hate about a fic, calling me cringe for writing a fic about abortion. I called them a pro-lifer and got a follow-up clarifying they meant fic isn't activism. Of course I never claimed my abortion fic was activism so idk what they were on about.

9) Do you write smut?

No, but this was supposed to the be the year I started. It still could be.

10) Do you write crossovers?

I wrote a couple chapters of an NCIS/Ace Attorney crossover when I was about 14. It is not on AO3. It is still on fanfiction.net as far as I know.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! I really doubt it.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'd love it!

13) Have you ever cowritten a fic?

No. I'm open to the idea in theory but I'm kind of a neurotic control freak about art so I think it would be hard.

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

I guess I have to go classic and say Kirk/Spock, in terms of ships I've written for.

15) What's a WIP you'll probably never finish?

Josh Dies AU will probably never see the light of day but oh do I have some good ideas for it...

16) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue and characterization. I like to think I use narrative devices competently. I have pretty strong grammar and vocabulary fundamentals and that's really helpful.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes are the worst. Sex included, which is why I haven't really written smut in the past. Description can be hard; I think I'm getting better at setting a scene but describing characters and what they're doing is the hardest thing for me. Any kind of action, as simple as nodding or walking across the room, sounds unnatural to me when I write it.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages?

I would only do it if absolutely necessary. If the reader isn't meant to know what the character is saying, I will simply describe that they are speaking in another language. If the reader is meant to know, I will indicate in the dialogue tags and maybe throw in some italics if I think they're called for. I would consider using dialogue in another language if I thought something really called for it, but I'd want to get a professional translator I could work with, and that's obviously not going to happen in a fanfiction setting. I might do the odd word here and there, especially in a language I have some familiarity with, but that's it.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

NCIS. First on AO3 was Supernatural.

20) Favorite fic you've written?

The Emergency Room

I just think it's my best writing. It has a nice theme to it to but I can't take credit for that, I was just reiterating the point the episode already made. I have some WIPs that I think are writing of this quality but this has the benefit of being completed. I have other fics that I think I was more creative with or have more interesting concepts but when I reread this one I go "wow, I wrote that?"

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fountainpenguin · 8 months

Note

Can you share some of what your planning process for long fics is like? What kind of outlines do you do or what prep do you do to get in the zone?

Thanks for the ask! [Tagging #ridspoilers for minor plot outline, birthday, and alien planet calendar spoilers for Origin of the Pixies, Frayed Knots, and Factor It In]

---

I write on Google Docs; it might not be for everyone but it's what I've found to work well for me after a lifetime of writing (Ex: When I was a kid, I used WordPerfect and Dropbox and it would take hours to sync my documents before a long road trip... I travel between two locations a lot, so these days I just pop open the Google Docs app on my phone or use the Edit Offline extension on my laptop and it's always up to date, which works great for me!)

I also like Google Docs because I can link between documents and have lots of open tabs [along the top of the browser] in "one tab" [along the bottom bar], which isn't something I was able to do as a kid or with Microsoft Word, and it just helps me feel clean.

---

Masterlist Doc [1 per fandom]

I keep all my Fairly OddParents 'fics in a doc titled FOP 'Fic Masterlist. I have my most important resources at the top and they're all broken down with clear labels and doc links.

This way, even if I haven't accessed a doc in a while [meaning it doesn't come up when I type its name in the URL search bar], I always know where I can find it. Also, thanks to my edit offline extension, all I need is this one link and I know I'll be able to open any doc I need.

I have a lot of 'fics, so this doc is several pages. If you've ever read my FFN or AO3 bios and saw that note about how I keep a queued Tumblr post containing links to my unfinished 'fics in case I unexpectedly die, that queued post links to this doc!

You'll also notice that I have distinct scrap docs for Origin, Knots, and the 130 Prompts. I change or cut a lot of stuff and it's nice to keep the old WIPs in case I ever want to look back on them (each of those docs is 25k words just of scraps). Sometimes those scenes get recycled, but usually they just sit there. It's a lot easier to cut things from a story when you have a place to put them and you're not deleting them forever.

[Cnt'd under the cut]

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Table of Contents Doc [1 per long 'fic]

All my long 'fics have a table of contents doc, which I highly recommend for anyone doing a large multi-chapter project. I always slap the cover image, a height chart, or a character reference on top to make it pretty, then the doc will contain some notes I might need. For example, Origin's doc has two height charts:

and this-

Makes it easy to know where to find things. Also, you don't have to draw your own height charts, but I recommend keeping a list of heights on hand. Even if you don't tell the reader someone's exact measurements, it's always nice to get a feel for how characters compare to others and whether they should be looking up or down.

Come What May's doc has this screenshot comparison on it, which I put together by measuring different characters who appear next to each other as carefully as I could, and it works too:

Obviously Kevin and Molly never appear in the same episode, but since they're about to become step-siblings in Come What May, it was important to me that I knew how tall they were, so I measured Molly against Timmy and then Timmy against Kevin. Same for Mrs. Crocker, who I measured against Timmy to get a feel for how tall Kevin is compared to his grandma.

I know it's a fanfic so it doesn't really matter, but you have to do self-indulgent things sometimes :)

Frayed Knots also has Sunnie's character reference [i.e. Anti-Cosmo's patron nature spirit, the water dude], which I just want to show off because this is still really good art for something I drew in 2017:

Other things I keep in my table of contents docs are lists of episodes where certain characters appear, random notes that I need to keep track of (like any canonized character addresses or allergies), and chapter title ideas. I also keep track of the starlight levels [i.e. which season it's bright outside vs. dark], school year reminders, and Anti-Fairy migration season.

I keep my Vatajasa name chart in Knots too:

Factor It In's table doc contains a list of villains who appear in the 'fic (Red for ones who don't appear, green for those who do). It also links to the Wiki page for the Evil Villains Association so I can remember which villains are and aren't in it. It also has my timeline details:

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Timeline Notes

Factor It In is set in 1998, and my table doc has all the notes I used to narrow down to that date (ex: I originally planned to set it in 1987 because I felt that the late 80s fit the technology level we see in the show before I re-watched the episode "There's No V In Team," which specifically refers to the year 1987 as having happened in the past).

One of the reasons I liked using 1987 originally was because Factor It In is a story about Kid Math training under WordGirl, and it takes place shortly after the Kid Math episode, which aired in 2014. Factor It In opens in early January, so I like the Easter egg that the 2015 calendar would be the same even if we took its airdate literally. 1998 was the only year in the 90s that also matched the calendar, so that's what I ended up with.

I like keeping my timeline notes around so if I take a hiatus, I can always come back and remind myself why I picked stuff. Also it's way easier to expand your worldbuilding if you kept your notes... it's awful if you threw your math away and have to start over (I once redid an entire timeline because someone said I'd messed up the dates on my chart, and I believed them and redid it all, only to realize several months later when I ran into a timeline problem that my math had actually been right all along :') Don't be like me. Record your work and leave notes explaining why.)

[I always use THIS calendar website when I'm planning timelines. It tracks moon phases, which was important when @zachbrightside and I were working on the FOP timeline and heavily relying on moon phases as a guide, and you can easily type any year and month into the URL bar so it's super easy to navigate.]

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Birthday Notes

I also kept all my notes on determining birthdays (very important for long 'fics with lots of characters that take place over several months! One of my FOP resource docs is specifically for birthdays and annual events, ranging from parades to anniversaries to carnivals).

My headcanon for Becky Botsford's birthday is July 28th. We know she starts the series at age 9 and has a birthday in Season 1 episode 4, meaning she's 10 for much of the series. There are at least two episodes where she cites her ages as "10 and a half," and we saw that in her next birthday episode ("A World Without WordGirl"), her cake had 11 candles on it.

Show canon implies that time IS passing and that the show doesn't exist in a timeless void (see also, Timmy Turner wishing to freeze time for 50 years), so it was important to me that I nail down her birthday. I knew I wanted it to take place after Rhyme and Reason if possible since there are no more birthday episodes, though I would also be fine with having "Rhyme and Reason" shortly after her birthday [to ensure she stays 10 and 11 for the majority of show canon].

Here are some of my notes on her birthday for anyone interested (Hopefully they're not too squished):

^ Like I said, I switched 1987 to 1998, but yeah. Rex's birthday comes out to June 13th, 1989 and Becky's is July 28th, 1986.

Clickable links for Rex and Becky on the age calculator if you're curious... Important for me since one of Rex's math powers is to always know how old someone is to the day.

Fun Fact - I deliberately gave Rex June 13th as a birthday so he would share a birthday with Foop, who is also a Season 7 Episode 1 debut kid over in Fairly OddParents :)

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Having birthdays planned is also nice for when I want to write multiple 'fics in the same world, even if they're not the same 'fic. In my story "Flypaper," which takes place in early June, Rex is eagerly awaiting his 17th birthday and Becky muses on how she'll be turning 20 at the end of the summer... Just a nice detail not only to set the scene, but also to help the story feel grounded and realistic since one of the themes of "Flypaper" was that Becky felt time was slipping away from her.

It's also important to note that Rex and Becky are always among the youngest in their school years since they have summer birthdays. Tobey is 12 for most of the time Becky is 11... Little details that don't take a long time to plan for, but can really help a story feel like the author put effort into the world.

Again, I highly recommend leaving clear notes to yourself about why you're doing certain timeline things. I much prefer having the breakdown of the episodes I looked at over simply leaving a note to myself that Becky's birthday is July 28th!

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Character Arc Notes

Before planning the events of the story, it helps to get an idea for what themes and character traits you want to focus on. Frayed Knots is about love and betrayal- it's about Anti-Cosmo pushing for what he wants even though it hurts his loved ones (appropriate theme for a villain backstory 'fic).

I want to show some notes I have for Factor It In because I think they're interesting. Factor It In is my first attempt at doing a story that deliberately focuses around two protagonists and their separate but equally important character arcs, and I'm excited :)

Everything that's in my doc is the "tell" part of "show don't tell." The story tries to show what I have in my notes:

Rex arc - Lack of Stability / Lack of Control - Failing, getting tricked, being unwanted, not good enough, not understanding things. Being in foster care is scary. Unfamiliar planet is scary Show Kid Math always being super inquisitive. He always wants to learn. He knows the most, he is the best, he gets upset when he's fooled or when he fails. He was 2nd best in school. He feels lost when he doesn't know what's happening in his future. Gets upset when WordGirl doubts his decisions. In the opening scene of Factor, he's mind controlled by Mr. Big. Literally has no control Kid Math clings to his superhero certification / Hexagonian education. He was raised by his aunts and has basically no relationship with his parents (though he tries to hide the fact that this hurts him). He feels like a burden; he feels like his mom considered him "too much work" and that his father considers him "not worth bothering to visit." Rex constantly struggles under this fear that he's a burden. He wants to prove himself a good superhero so that his education (and life) aren't "a waste." Conflict: Kid Math has already spent his entire life feeling like he's no one's first choice; that he's only "second best" (because he was second to top of his class in school). He understands that he and WordGirl are sharing the city, but it's important to him that he's considered an equal. He wants people to like him. It hurts when WordGirl comes on too strong and makes it obvious she lacks faith in him, because he feels like a burden: his worst nightmare. Throughout the story, Rex internalizes his successes and failures. He cannot separate his superhero identity from his civilian identity. He always sees himself as "Rex, who trained to become a superhero." He calls himself Rex and has no distinction in his mind. His secrets slip, he uses his powers when he's Rex, and he expects people to attribute KM's failures to Rex (Ex: school kids laugh at how he falls for tricks as Kid Math and it upsets him as Rex). Rex values control, and will do all he can to avoid losing control. His deadly sin is Wrath, but he has a lot of emotional control and will try to remove himself from the situation. As long as he has his safe space and his comfort things, he's okay. We get several scenes of him wanting to break stuff when he's upset but he holds back... with the underlying tension of wondering how long he'll last before he snaps (pitting his nightmare of losing control against Becky's nightmare of losing his friendship).

I want to highlight the part about how Rex cannot separate his two identities. This is something I showed even back in "AlgoRhythm" - Rex always calls himself "Rex" inside his head, even when he's dressed as Kid Math. However, when I write from Becky's POV, the third-person writing swaps between calling her "Becky" or "WordGirl" depending on how she's dressed.

I also have notes about how Rex's character arc relates to the story's finale, but that's spoilers. Since Rex's character arc is about how he hates not having control, then the worst thing that could happen to him is not having a say in things: hence why the plot about bouncing between foster families is such a hard thing for him to go through. Eventually, he'll also be put in a position where he needs to think about who he is as Rex vs. who he is as Kid Math, and we'll see that in the story climax.

Becky has a fun arc too:

Becky arc - Loss / Change - People being hurt, losing her friends, hurting or losing her family. Fear of change. Show WordGirl being upset when relationships fracture, even with people who aren't super close to her. She struggles with the idea of Kid Math befriending her villains or losing her position as a hero and getting replaced by Kid Math. Put simply, WordGirl is a control freak who refuses to admit this to herself. WordGirl struggles to relinquish control to Kid Math (which is where they come in conflict since he ALSO feels stressed when he doesn't have control). WordGirl is a bit of a helicopter mentor; she hovers around Rex, interferes with his work, and just generally gets in his way (which is pretty funny imo since Rex never got in her way during "Kid Math"- he's capable, he just causes problems with social interaction and not with the actual fighting... WordGirl gets the social interaction part but definitely gets in the way). Conflict: WordGirl doesn't enjoy having Rex around, but she can't tell him that because it might hurt his feelings and that would cause her "loss and change" pain. She would feel guilty and sad. Rex being Exposition Guy's foster kid is a big source of conflict between them, as Rex believes he should "get dibs" on info EG shares. WordGirl stresses when Rex doesn't do things "her way" and Rex gets frustrated that she doesn't trust him. Tensions keep rising because WordGirl starts seeing "the bad" in Rex; she keeps seeing Miss Power traits in him and she worries that Miss Power might have been his teacher back on Hexagon. Her nosiness strains Rex's trust in her and he starts pulling away emotionally... sending her into a spiral about change and loss (especially as more and more villains and civilians grow familiar with Kid Math and start to think he's cool). Lots of resentment towards Kid Math for "replacing her" even though she NEVER admits that to herself; she still has trace amounts of jealousy towards him in later stories like "Flypaper..." WordGirl doesn't mean to be jealous or greedy, but it's always been one of her flaws (i.e. someone else getting a key to the city, or when she snapped during Miss Power special about Chuck getting a collectible unicorn, wanting to show off a bit during "Invisible Hand"). She's a very nice person but Envy is absolutely her deadly sin.

So yeah! Fun times ahead; I'm excited.

We've already started seeing cracks form between her and Chuck... In Chapter 4, Chuck confronts her, asking if WordGirl is retiring and if he'll still get to see her. Chuck has his own little character arc in the background, which is that he broke his foot a few days before the story starts- he has to sit on the sidelines watching the other villains get "WordGirl time" while he has to watch Kid Math go through hero training.

A lot of other characters have small arcs too, though Chuck's and Victor Best's are probably the most notable-- Chuck and Victor are both characters who struggle with being "the second best" compared to a more successful sibling, so they resonate heavily with Rex's character arc.

WordGirl's arc is about control, so Mr. Big and Tobey (mind control and robots) are pretty obvious choices for her, along with Dr. Two-Brains... but actually, Granny May and Eileen are two villains I really wanted to look at in Factor It In. Granny May's life hinges around being a "people person" (to the point that she had an episode about how she could be way more successful with a different schtick; she just likes talking to people too much to trade that for success).

Granny May is super calculating and manipulative and she also struggles with little losses of control in her daily life (getting on in years, mobility issues, and the episode "Granny's Book Club" where the Evil Villains Association tried to force her to retire). I like Granny May because she looks like this sweet old lady but she also, like. can fly and has a robot suit, which is SO funny.

With her cold, calculating patience and her manipulative ways, Granny May represents the worst of Rex AND Becky at the same time, which is great. I'm excited to get to her chapters. Eileen is also a fun villain to juxtapose Becky because she's the embodiment of envy, which Becky struggles with, so I'm looking forward to that too.

A lot of characters are also working on school projects, so they always have "something to do" or "something that is causing them stress." Mapping out the background character arcs and conflicts can help the story feel more alive, and I think that's a useful part of outlining :)

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Once you know your character arcs ["What is my character's biggest fear, what is something my character will do wrong, what event forces them to face their fear, and how do they resolve this situation in a way that shows them growing as a person?"] then the story sort of writes itself :)

Make sure you have a goal or a problem and make sure there's a reason they can't achieve the goal or solve their problem in the first chapter. Here are some examples from 3 of my long 'fics:

Origin of the Pixies - Fergus (i.e. H.P.) fears being responsible for others... His father wants him to study psychology and take over the family therapy business (Wish Fixers) even though carrying the weight of others' emotional problems sounds like the worst fate imaginable... so Fergus cuts ties with Dad, drops out of the Fairy Academy and runs away from home. Now he only looks out for himself, can start his own business if he wants to, and he can drink and party all the time. What could be better than that?

Fergus's nightmare of being responsible becomes unavoidable when he (a pixie) starts reproducing asexually... during a time when no one really knows what pixies are and Fairy World has a baby ban in place. Fergus pursues a life of business and money-making, fighting to provide for Sanderson and the rest of his clone offspring (some of whom are predisposed by their genetics to kill him when they come of age, which is fun). Things get even worse when Fairy World and Anti-Fairy World go to war... Being responsible for kids during a time of peace was hard enough, but war? Forget it.

After successfully navigating the chaos of war, Fergus is ready to settle back into a peaceful life, but tumultuous politics keep him on his toes. His best friend - the leader of Anti-Fairy World - gets overthrown by hotshot Anti-Cosmo, and Fergus is forced to re-evaluate his friendships, priorities, political alignments, and personal needs if he wants to maintain political piece between the Pixies and Anti-Fairies.

While raising his pixie clones, Fergus has always kept them at arm's length and called them "interns" or "employees" or even "nephews" to avoid calling them his sons. The older he gets, the less he's able to do the things he liked to do in his younger years - goof off, wrestle, attend parties - and the more he needs to think about putting his pixies first. As death looms nearer and nearer, Fergus grows increasingly desperate to ensure his pixies will still thrive without him... and he'll do anything, regardless of who it hurts or how badly he endangers the magical world, to ensure they do.

Frayed Knots - Anti-Cosmo fears being unloved; his father isn't in the picture, his older brother is aloof, and his mother isn't kind to him. He's desperate to not grow old without a soulmate by his side. When he fails to match with a partner during a betrothal ceremony, he lies his way through it and tricks his peers into believing Anti-Saffron is his fated match.

As the centuries pass, it becomes more difficult to maintain the lie and Anti-Cosmo begins questioning whether maintaining his relationship with Anti-Saffron is even worth it. Breaking things off in a society that believes in luck and fate, however, is incredibly risky and could get him labeled as an outcast for the rest of his life.

Anti-Cosmo struggles to balance his dying feelings for Anti-Saffron with his growing feelings for Anti-Wanda, and things get trickier and trickier as his friends realize he's been lying all his life and start pushing him away. Finally, Anti-Cosmo has to choose between his comfy lies and his betrothed or else throw away everything so he can chase after Anti-Wanda... who might abandon him too, just like his friends did, and leave him alone and unloved.

Anti-Cosmo maintains his lies as long as he can, hurting his loved ones in the process, and struggles to pick up the pieces left behind. Even if no one else forgives him, he can't keep living in the past; he has to learn to forgive himself if he hopes to be approachable and trustworthy again. Being an evil villain, though, I guess whether or not he grows as a person is up for some debate...

Factor It In (Rex) - Rex values his personal achievements; he finds joy in superhero work and regularly brags about himself, his schooling, and his home planet Hexagon in general (right down to the fact that his planet has "the tastiest raisins in the universe.") Unfortunately, he's stuck in a cycle of giving his all but never feeling satisfied with his achievements because he's "never the best." One of his greatest fears is being confronted with evidence that he really is a burden and a failure, which would absolutely crush his spirit.

Rex doesn't love the way that Becky pushes him around; she's not mean, she just tries to guide him towards foster care even though he doesn't want to go. He doesn't speak up about it because he wants to put his faith in her and believe that he can learn from her and become a better person (since "being a good person" is the one thing he values above personal pride). He still feels inexperienced and overwhelmed in the early chapters, so he's hesitant to speak up and explain why he doesn't like what Becky's doing... up until she starts crossing his boundaries and then he has to draw the line.

Rex's desire for independence leads him to trust very easily. He puts his faith in Victor, Tobey, Chuck, and Granny May, who steer him down a wobbly path of moral grays. Becky keeps pushing him further away, so Rex continues bonding with the villains because he feels safe with them. Obviously this doesn't end well and he has to face the consequences of choosing the villains over his friendship with WordGirl.

In his determination to mend things with WordGirl, Rex accidentally lands both of them in a terrible situation and puts them (and therefore the rest of the city) in danger. In order to fix this, he has to push through his personal pride (Ow), accept his mistake (Double ow), and go against his training (which became useless while Bad Situation is in effect) so he can find a new way to save the day.

Factor It In (Becky) - Becky values her identity as a superhero and how much work she puts into protecting the city. She fears that Kid Math will be a worse hero than her (endangering people) but also fears Kid Math will be a better hero than her (blow to her self-confidence).

She can't resolve this problem in Chapter 1 because she's scared of hurting his feelings and would rather try other options to avoid direct confrontation; instead, she deals with her concerns by trying to "fix" Kid Math. She trains him and pushes him towards foster care. As long as she feels like she's helping him, she's assuaging both fears: she's proving she's "better" and she's helping him not be worse. Ergo, she "no longer has a problem."

Becky's already on a path that puts her in conflict with Rex, who desires control over his own life and has to deal with her pushing him around until he can't take it any more. Conflict arises when Becky oversteps boundaries and breaks Rex's trust in her. Things get worse when she makes a mistake that sours the city's attitude towards her. Her worst nightmare is coming true: she's "not as good as Kid Math" and people might get hurt without her.

As things keep getting worse for the city and Rex is struggling, it's obvious that she and Kid Math need to team up again. That means repairing their friendship... which she can only do if she proves that she really does trust Rex to do things by himself. Therein lies the pickle...

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Anyway, I really rambled on there, but... Point being, a lot of fun stuff goes in my table docs, and this is the type of outlining I like to do for characters and story plots.

I highly recommend having a table of contents doc for long 'fics. You don't need to bog it down with all your worldbuilding notes (Hopefully you have a separate place you can put those, like a Tumblr blog or other docs), but for things that you know you'll definitely need and are worried you might not be able to find again, I highly recommend keeping them in the table doc.

You shouldn't normally be editing your table doc after you've done your outlining, which means you're less likely to accidentally delete important notes (compared to keeping them in a story doc) and you won't bog your story doc down with stuff you need to scroll past.

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Chapter Docs [1 per chapter]

I have links to all my individual chapter docs (important to me since my chapters are normally 10k+ words... Can't fit everything in one doc or it would be a pain to navigate and take an age to load).

Here are some snippets of my outlines. As you can see, the descriptions I have in my table docs are loose and vague:

This is from Come What May:

Come What May is special because it takes place over just a few days (while my long 'fics span months or even thousands of years). It's based around Kevin's appearances in Fairly OddParents Season 10.

I wanted to share this because even though my notes for "Cold Shadow" are basically nothing, it still gives the info that's actually important for me to know when returning to this project after a hiatus: "Here's exactly what day it is in the timeline. This episodes shows kids turning in a homework assignment on the founding fathers, which means we need to see Kevin doing this homework assignment (or at least acknowledging it) in prior chapters.

Regardless of the weird supernatural stuff Kevin is dealing with in this 'fic, it's still intended to be canon compliant, and I know that's a detail Future Me could easily forget but would want to know. It's like what I said earlier about birthdays and timelines: leave yourself clear notes. You'll never regret having too many notes, especially if you intend to return to a project after a long hiatus.

Origin - I unfortunately scrapped my descriptions for all previous chapters of Origin and Knots so forgive the "spoilers," ha ha

Origin was originally drafted in a single document, which I later split into separate chapter docs. That's why I have notes like "Hawkins hand scene." I know exactly what that's referring to and my table of contents doc helps me remember which chapter it got moved to.

Knots - I wanted to show these to emphasize how vague some of these are:

Even though they're vague, you can get a good sense of the direction the story is going. Outlining doesn't have to be a painful, in-depth process. You can knock out the basics in a single afternoon if you just sit down and do it.

I picked one chapter and opened it at random ("Fox's Folly") and it has 8k words in its draft right now. "Tipping Scales" has 15k. At the time of making this post, Frayed Knots only has 34 chapters posted in public, so we're at least 1 or 2 years away from getting to this point, yet there's already a lot of draft info I can go back to. I've added a lot of bits and pieces to these chapters over the years and sometimes I just open them when I'm in the mood for reading something fun.

Having the documents already set up in advance brings you one step closer to opening them and throwing stuff in them and I highly recommend that.

Factor - These chapter outlines are more detailed (minus the early ones... the first 3 chapters were drafted as 1 chapter originally). If you've actually read Factor thus far, however, you'll notice that the scenes in my outline don't match perfectly with the finally chapters. And that's okay! The outlines are just guidelines and the final chapter can be different:

Lots of screenshots but I feel like my Factor doc is the most authentic look at my outline process (since it's recent while Origin and Knots were outlined like 7 years ago). I use black on my initial draft and red for things I change on a later sweep.

There are little notes to myself and sometimes I switch the order of things around. Also, "Torus" was written from scratch (no outline) since I came up with ideas for it later, and the nice thing is that I felt comfortable doing that without feeling like I'll write myself into a corner or wreck the pacing.

Having a story outline and all these separate docs means I already know where the story is going and I can jump in and write from anywhere in the timeline when the mood strikes. I think having a lot of options on what to write is the best way to fight writer's block, so this system works well for me.

Origin was drafted in 2016 and Knots in 2017. I create new scenes all the time (and scrap others), but a lot of the early story beats are still the same.

That about covers what I do in my outline process :) Thanks for asking and hopefully this was a fun and interesting read!

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