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oblivious-aro · 8 months

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Some thoughts on each season of my Lego Ninjago watch through so far up to and including season seven and the movie:

Golden Weapon Pilots: They're fine, but not very interesting. There's a few fun moments, but I while watching I genuinely wondered if I was going to continue with the rest of the show.

The role of the only girl in the cast was to be kidnapped and rescued, and to be liked by a character who hasn't even met her yet. That's greeeeeeat. Loooove that.

It's very funny in later seasons when they try to pretend that anyone cared about Samukai. Or knew his name.

Season 1: This season's a good time. The writing's pretty messy, but charming enough to keep me watching.

The Zane-is-a-robot plot twist was everything ten year old me hoped it would be, and Cole's relationship with his dad was an interesting episode.

Lloyd's at his best in this season. I'll talk about it more in the season two part, but Lloyd's character was only really interesting when he was a child.

Some of the best jokes are in this season. "I have butterflies in my stomach" is probably still my favourite joke in the series. Either that or Nya getting bodied by a road sign. Sorry Nya, I love you, but I think I rewound that bit seven times.

Speaking of, Nya you really deserve better writing.

Season 2: The first half's pretty fun. I liked it when the plot was just Garmadon and his pirates figuring out random ways to mess with the ninja. It gives us a fun plot and I enjoy watching how the ninja solve problems, and the villains being their charming selves. The stuff on the dark island get's a bit boring. I don't care about The Overlord.

Dino Garmadon is a true beauty, though.

I like Misako. Can't wait to see what they do with her in later seasons.

Very sad that Nya gets sidelined hard. I think the writers actually forgot about her. Except for the occasional time they couldn't think of a way for the ninja to wrap things up and needed Samurai X to take care of things. Oh, and at the end when they needed someone to be mind controlled and have demeaning remarks slung at them.

You really deserve better Nya.

Aging up Lloyd was a mistake. Everything notable about him stems from the fact that he's a child. Watching him grow as the Ninja teach him was a good time, and having him be so young balanced out his overpoweredness nicely. Now all he's got left is being the super powerful chosen one, which isn't really a personality.

Season 3: Boring. Nothing interesting happens, and the stupid terrible 'love triangle' makes me want to stab my eyeballs out. Once again Nya, you deserve better.

The best part of this season is that it's the shortest.

Season 4: Hooray! Quality!

This one's much funner. Especially in the first half.

Skylor seems cool, but unfortunately they spend the first half of the season keeping her shrouded in 'mystery' so we don't really get to know her. We can't develop her and Kai's relationship, because that would mean revealing information about Skylor before the big plot twist. We also can't go into how she feels about helping her dad because we don't know Chen's her dad until halfway through the season. The conversation with Kai in the roller rink implies that this is the only life she's ever known and she hasn't really questioned it before, but because the reveal of her relation to Chen happens so late and there's so many other things going on, Skylor's arc about breaking away from Chen ends up being very rushed.

That being said I did still cheer internally when she told her dad off. Go Skylar! Tell him where to stick it!

Speaking of Chen, very enjoyable villain. Probably my favourite so far. The oscillation between 'ugh, screw this whiny child' and 'oh yeah, he's powerful enough to kill anyone on a whim and no one can stop him' makes him a perfect blend of intimidation, hatable, and fun. Clouse is a pretty decent second-in-command too. I like how petty he is.

Very good season for Cole. He started the tournament by eating enough cake to make him sluggish and still did better than Kai, then he made friends with Karloff and brought hope back to the factory workers, that was great. Zane's reunion with him made me very happy. Cole just has such a great energy as a character, and that really comes through in this season.

Good Garmadon's not bad. I like watching him cringe about all the bad decisions he made when he was evil-drunk, and he has good insights for the team on Chen and the other contestants. Much better than the weird boring lessons he was giving Lloyd last season.

The letter story line was...not handled great. It's built up to be this big bombshell, but it's really more awkward than anything. Also kind of pointless since Garmadon dies at the end of the season. The whole Misako love triangle is just very awkward, and the Ninjago writers really don't know how to write romance or women, huh?

Also speed's and element, I guess. And poison. 10/10

Why'd they leave the blind guy on the island though? Seems mean.

Season 5: Oh hey, Nya finally gets to be a ninja. Took long enough.

History of terrible writing choices aside, her arc this season was great. You really feel for Nya, watching her figure out her elemental power and how to deal with her perfectionism. I'm glad we got to really dig into one of the Ninja's journey facing their greatest weakness more deeply (I like the true potential episodes, but devoting more time to them probably wouldn't have gone amiss). Watching Nya's take out a giant monster with her freshly unlocked tsunami powers after an entire season of struggling with her powers was just so freaking awesome. Go Nya! Woo! True potential!

The picking a new leader subplot's pretty fun. I like exploring the characters by putting them all in the leader position and seeing how they all react. That's the good stuff, even if Lloyd's position as the leader is debatable (more on that later).

I like how Misako and Wu work together and bounce off each other and have differing ideas on what direction the team should go in. It's more interesting than Wu just being the one with all the answers. Wish they'd give Lloyd and Misako's relationship a bit more development, though.

Cole's ghost transformation is sending me. I like ghosts. They're cool. Ghost Cole makes brain happy.

The episode right after where we watch Cole struggle to adjust to his new form while his friends support him (showcasing how building up your teammates is way more effective than trying to bring them down) is actually the best. The moral is set up really well, and I think that's actually a great lesson for kids. Also d'awwwwww :) fwiends.

And the conversation between Cole and Nya is so sweet. I friendship them so hard. See writers? This is why you should let Nya react with the team more, it's great. Also let the Ninja be nicer to each other. Favourite episode.

Unfortunately for Lloyd, kicking him out of most of this season really worked in it's favour. That's probably not a great thing to say about the main character, but I honestly haven't found Lloyd all that interesting since he aged up. He doesn't really feel like he has a place on the team outside of 'chosen one'. They say they're missing a leader without him, but he's never really led. Usually it's one of the adults (are the ninja teenagers? I can't really tell) giving commands and on the field they all kind of work together and it's never felt like there was an official leader.

Ooh, Jay's vision of the future...oh that does not bode well. I hate that. Ninjago, you were doing so good this season, why are you like this?

I love this season so much. It's got my favourite episode and it's my favourite so far. By a lot. Good luck topping that season six. Bet your theme song won't slap as hard.

Season 6: And coming right off of the high of season five, we have-

"I just want to be given a fair shot."

"Why? To make things easier?"

Misako, wtf?

"Nya made it clear there was no way we'd ever end up together. But I know for a fact from seeing my future that we do. Maybe a wish is what it takes. Maybe this is how she falls for me!"

JAY, WTF?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Nya you really deserve better.

The worst part is, unlike season three, this season actually has a lot of intriguing elements. The sky pirate crew is crew charming, Nadakhan's wish manipulation thing is fun to watch, and Jay's storyline is...well...a lot of it is actually really interesting, and this is the first time the show has dug into an individual character so deeply, but the endgame being Jay 'earning' a relationship with Nya for completing his arch leaves a very sour taste on the whole thing.

Speaking of Nya...oh boy. Okay, so I do appreciate the writer's trying to acknowledge their writing mistakes with her in previous seasons, and the lighthouse monologue was pretty cathartic, but maybe try talking to some women before you slap the feminist badge on yourself so proudly, yeah? Also you gotta put your money where your mouth is. You've shown you're aware that Nya never getting a choice is problem, then you destiny-bind her to another character and kill her for his development.

I could complain about this season and Nya's treatment throughout the show for ages. One day I may lose my sanity and try to rewrite a nicer season seven that doesn't completely screw Nya over.

The Ninjago really do not know how to write romance or women.

At least Cole's still a ghost. That's fun.

Day of the Departed: I love the atmosphere. Being in the dark forest and house, surrounded by the monochrome transparent ghosts really emphasizes Cole's feeling of isolation. It just gives off the perfect vibes for a children's Halloween special. It just looks so cold. I can practically feel the wind as Cole punches ghosts on the roof.

I've heard some people say the pacing was rushed and it's bad writing that the ninja defeated villains in one night that took them whole seasons to beat, but I disagree. They're a lot more experienced now, and those villains had whole armies and time to plan.

The only gripes I had were that ending to the Zane and Cryptor fight was weird because Zane...pretends to surrender... and then Cryptor...trips and dies? Also the Lloyd and Pythor fight was pretty underwhelming. It was just very floaty and awkward. I think they forgot that Misako is a skilled fighter too, so she just stands there being frustratingly useless. Other than that the fights were good. Especially Jay's with commentary from his delightful parents, and Nya reversing a rocket back at Chen.

Of course, the special's not really about the fights is it? Cole's fear as his friends start to forget him is incredibly gripping and you're really sold on how desperate he is as he fights through the haunted house.

And when his friends show up and give him the hope when he's about to give up? YESSS! it's such a triumphant moment when he gets his body back that I'm not even sad that my beloved ghost Cole is gone. That ghost story line had a great run, and this was a banger of a conclusion.

Season 7: Not bad, but drags a lot in the first half. I wish I had a nickel for every time a character was cut off before they can say something important. I also wish I had a nickel for every time a character acted like a plot twist was more shocking than it actually was. Or was clearly on stupid pills (Kai forgot his father's blacksmithing symbol? Really?) I was on episode seven when I originally wrote this, but it honestly felt like episode three. None of the other seasons had such a pronounced pacing issue.

While I'm glad they're finally trying to do something with PIXAL, I'm sad that she comes off as a huge jerk because of this season's obsessive mystery mongering. Hey writers, we all know she's Samurai X. You're not building intrigue, you're just dragging things out and making PIXAL be really mean to Nya for no reason.

Crux and Acronix are pretty fun, but there's something off about them. It might be the voice acting, I'm honestly not sure. I do like how they squabble about technology and how intimidating they get when they it's time for business and they put their childish bickering on the shelf.

I like how they've started to do some digging into Wu's psyche and are exploring how years of working alone after losing so many friends has affected him negatively. It's a shame they won't really be able to go further with that next season, since he'll be lost in the time stream.

Also at one point Wu and Lloyd tell everyone to stop having fun and it's terrible. Yeah, why would a kid's show be fun? I hope this isn't an indication of where the future tone of the series is going.

2017 Movie: Oh my gosh, it's hilarious please watch it. Even if you're not a Ninjago fan, it's just so goofy and the characters are so loveable, and they had to stack two body pieces on Garmadon to properly give him four arms.

There's some scenes where the natural character chemistry flows so well, that the jokes just keep coming so naturally one after the other. I found myself rewinding quite often.

I've seen some complaints that the other ninjas didn't get as much focus as Lloyd, but for a standalone movie I think it's fine to mainly focus on one person. Their characters may have been reduced, but everyone feels like they have a place in the team and they all get some great lines. Honestly nobody really feels left out of favouritized.

I love that Wu's kind of a weird jerk. I love how energetic but inexperienced the ninja feel. I love that Nya's on a motorcycle the whole time they're at school, including in the secret locker elevator. I love that Zane's an adrenaline junkie and is trying his very best to fit in as a human. I love that Jay somehow became the best ninja despite being the worst ninja in the show (he's just such an incompetent loser, and he's aware of this fact and has decided that he's just going to try his best anyway, I love him, Kumail Nanjiani is so charming and killing it).

This film does have one major flaw, sadly. I do like Lloyd, but the conflict he has with Garmadon is bad. This guy has caused him nothing but trouble, and he has a lovely mother and a supportive friend group, so why is he so desperate for a relationship with Garmadon? In the show the two of them actually having a decent relationship and the conflict is driven by the tragic fact that Garmadon doesn't want to be doing the evil things he's doing, and Lloyd is hesitant to be fighting against someone who genuinely cares for him and vice versa. Movie Garmadon is just generically evil of his own accord and shows no interest in Lloyd.

Dave Franco is giving quite the performance during the serious bits, but there just isn't a relationship to sell. You know who Lloyd does have an interesting parental relationship to explore with? His mother. And the writers know this too, since Lloyd thanks his mom for being the one who was actually there for him all those years. Why wasn't this the relationship we were focusing on? It's just better in every way (I know the answer).

My problem with this movie is pretty similar with MCU Peter and Aunt May.

Despite the weakness of the main conflict, it's a really charming goofy movie, and I already want to watch it again.

#lego ninjago #overall enjoying the show so far #feel free to start a discussion on this post or send me an ask

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justanotherfangirlst · 1 year

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Daniella took a deep breath as she took another look in the mirror. Nya and PIXAL had taken the time to make sure that her hair was perfect while Skylor and Angelie made sure that her dress and bouquet were perfect. Her hands trembled as she looked her reflection in the eye. This was really happening. She was really going to marry the love of her life. She was so happy, but she didn't understand why she was also terrified. She sighed as Angelie put her veil in her hair. She noticed her friend's mood and waited for the others to leave the room before pulling up a chair beside her.

"I can see the look on your face. What's wrong?" Angelie asked.

"What? Nothing's wrong!" Daniella replied quickly. Angelie raised an eyebrow. Daniella looked to Angelie and let her shoulders fall as she sighed again, this time in defeat.

"Okay, okay. I am so happy that the day is here. I will walk out there and in like two hours, Cole will be more than just my best friend, but my husband. But why am I so scared?"she asked. Angelie smiled softly as she grabbed Daniella's hands.

"You're scared because you're about to do something amazing. Cole loves you and I know that you love him. You two will do amazing things together. What scares you is what will change. But you don't need to worry to much," Angelie answered, rubbing her thumbs over Daniella's knuckles. Daniella returned her smile as she took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself, using Angelie as her anchor. She was right, there was nothing that would change the way she felt about Cole, nor the way he felt about her.

When Daniella opened her eyes, she gave Angelie a big hug before standing up and moving away from her chair. Angelie grabbed her bouquet and handed it to Daniella before walking out before her to make sure Cole wasn't outside. Daniella took one last look in the mirror before turning and walking to the door. When she opened the door, her brother was standing there with Kai. Both gasped when they saw her walk through the door. Daniella felt her cheeks heat up as Lloyd walked over and offered her his arm.

"I say this as a friend," Kai started.

"I don't like where this is going," Daniella said with a grin, knowing that whatever he was going to say was to ease her nerves.

"Hey! All I was going to say is that you look beautiful. And that if you ever get tired of Cole, you know where I'll be," Kai smirked.

"Ah yes, because I want a man who's in love with someone else. At least Cole had the guts to do something about it," Daniella teased. Lloyd laughed as Kai dramatically gasped.

"Love is not rushed!"

"That's fair."

Kai stepped in front of them and placed a hand on her arm. He looked her right in the eye with a serious look.

"In all seriousness though, you have no idea how happy he is. You two were made for each other," he said with a smile.

"Stop. You are going to make me cry. Again," Daniella said with a stifled laugh and a sniff. Lloyd patted his coat pocket and huffed.

"I'm out of tissues. Don't make my sister cry."

"That is what the handkerchief is for," Kai said as he plucked the green material from Lloyd's pocket. He handed it to Daniella for her to wipe the corners of her eyes.

"You sir, have somewhere to be. Don't ruin my wedding," Daniella said, pointing Kai to the door. He threw his hands up in surrender before quickly making his way to his place. Daniella let go of Lloyd's arm to fold the handkerchief and place it back in her brother's pocket.

"Thank you for walking me down the aisle today. I know that it might be a little awkward giving your older sister away," she murmured as she stood back to look at her brother.

"Oh please, I think Dad would have wanted it this way. I know that he would have wanted to see this," Lloyd replied, offering his arm.

"Me too. But we can't change the fact that he isn't here. But we can have a good time. Just make sure that nothing tries to kill us. Just once, I think we deserve a break from saving the realms."

"I think it'll be alright."

They stopped at the door. Even though the wedding was being held outside, the wedding party had gotten ready in Garmadon's monastery. Or Daniella's monastery. She took one more deep breath to calm herself before nodding to her brother that she was ready to go. The doors opened before them and the wedding march began to play as Lloyd began to lead his sister to the aisle and to her future husband.

**************

This is probably one of the biggest projects that I have done. And I can't believe that all of this started with a little sketch of this picture. I liked this project a lot and I hope that y'all like it too ^^.

Daniella, Ozir and Lotus belongs to me Angelie belongs to @the-angel-creator Lloyd, Nya, Jay, Cole, Lou, Wu, Skylor, PIXAL, Vania and Dareth belong to Lego Please do not use my art or my characters without my permission Reference I used here by the wonderful AdorkaStock on Deviantart

Click here for the next post >>

#ninjago #ninjago oc #ninjago oc x canon #oc: daniella #cole brookstone #the wedding

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sky-of-ideas · 1 year

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thinking about my amber morro au (power swap between skylor and morro p much), originally made because of a mispelling (morro lies au) and I thought the name was funny and wanted it to actually be used.

So with this au so far I have (under the cut):

- Morro is Chen's kid - the timeline is still the same (ie morro is still alive in the time period where garmadon is studying under chen) - morro runs away from chen at some point and gets assassins sent after him because he knows too much (thinking that chen tried to get him to do some morally wrong thing, like killing someone or smth. maybe chen tried to bring morro further in to his plans but stuff happened?) (but this is pre-serpentine war. why would chen even have morro?) (<- thing I need to figure out somehow) - morro gets the element of form somehow, bonds with the em of wind before skylor (they die fighting chen, somehow making it so that it will go to skylor when she's born </3) and then meets wu - at first wu doesn't know morro is an elemental master but at some point he catches morro using wind and thinks that morro is the master of wind and morro just agrees. - morro is Terrified of Chen finding him or anyone he stays with giving him over to chen because of bribes or smth so he just never says anything about his past to wu. - green ninja prophecy stuff still happens ✌ - morro copying the powers of everyone at the monastery and training with them in secret because he thinks he'll have to go back to being on the run again and having more tools at his disposal can help - oh yeah morro is like. 11 or 12 during this I think. maybe 13 or 14? but teenager at most. - there was an idea that the assassins get morro? and that's how wu finds out about morro's past. not sure if I'd keep this though ? I do quite like the idea of wu knowing nothing tbh... - morro doesn't turn out to be the green ninja, runs away then dies - somehow, he gets bound to skylor. Whether it be because she's Family, the wind element or something else, he's stuck to her. (inspired by a fic where basically the same happens but to lloyd and where morro is cole's bestie p much) - what happens between skylor's birth and morro's death? I'm not sure. either he goes to the cursed realm like in canon and meets the em of wind before skylor and they get to talk and be friends again, same thing but actually the departed realm or it's that morro's actually stuck to the mansion/chen for one reason or another. - but anyways - morro is stuck to skylor. either he gives her a fake name or smth so chen doesn't know about him. - also made a vow to Protect And Help Her because 1. wind element and 2. children of chen gotta stick together or smth ya know? - and I haven't really thought as much about the s4 changes yet- I had the idea of Morro urging skylor to ask the ninja for help because??? garmadon and wu????? but????? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - ALSO. morro gets discovered at some point and is used to complete the spell or smth hehe. tho hmmm does he have every element? he probably wouldn't...

and uhh. that's what I have on it so far I think?

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blursed-ninjago-ideas · 2 years

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Giant vampire lady au

Got a dark but funny idea for this vampire au renaissance

Remember the cursed promise ring from earlier in the au ?

The one that basically involved increasing more positive feelings for Kai towards Skylor.

He can’t take off the ring at all and has an in built feature to make him not to want to take it off

Ok but I can’t help but think about the song “The happiest day of your life” from Galavant

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Hod1gGrvLU8

Lloyd doesn’t want his sister to be stood up and goes full manipulator with the ring’s effects being increased on Kai.

That way Kai won’t feel a desire to back out of this whole wedding and vampire turning thing.

Lloyd was gonna nix it after the wedding ceremony and the vows were made permanent at least for Skylor.

ok, I had, an idea from this. Not exactly what you were talking about, but same vein.

“LLOYD MONTGOMERY GARMADON!!!” Kai yelled.

Lloyd had been expecting his soon-to-be brother to come to his room, that part was according to plan, but he didn’t know what the yelling was about. Kai was stomping hard enough to rattle the pictures on the walls.

Finally, the red ninja kicked open Lloyd’s door with a murderous look in his eye. That was very not according to plan.

Lloyd put on his cutest most innocent expression and met Kai’s gaze without fear.

“Hi! Did you want something?”

Kai looked even angrier.

“As a matter of fact, it’s funny you should phrase it that way!” Kai snapped.

Lloyd didn’t flinch. His mother taught him better than to show signs of weakness.

“Do you think I’m stupid!?” Kai yelled, his ring finger twitching unconsciously.

That part of the plan was working at least.

“No.” Lloyd said with big eyes, not betraying a thing.

“Really!?” Kai yelled, throwing his hands up. “I wake up from a surprise nap in the middle of the day, the last thing I remember is talking to you, and then I wake up with the very sudden urge to ask you for that cursed ring back!? What does that add up to!?”

Oh he was so busted. Kai figuring it out was not in the plan. Lloyd didn’t realize how blatant he was being, but he supposed he was still a child.

Kai very loudly scoffed at Lloyd’s guilty expression. His finger was still twitching uncomfortably though. Lloyd had to give him credit. He must’ve either had a will of iron or he was just so blindly pissed that Lloyd’s suggestions couldn’t influence him through it.

“What. Else. Did. You. Do.” Kai hissed through clenched teeth.

“Nothing!” Lloyd said.

“Bullshit!” Kai snapped back.

Lloyd pouted.

“Fine! I just asked some questions.” He admitted.

“And why couldn’t you ask me questions when I was awake!?” Kai said, crossing his arms.

Why did he have to be so smart!?

“One, I wanted to be sure you were being honest, and two I maybe didn’t want you to hear your own answers…” Lloyd trailed off.

Kai was growling.

“Well I’m going to hear them right now.” he said, tapping his foot expectantly.

Lloyd clamped his mouth shut.

“Now Lloyd!” Kai demanded with a stomp.

Lloyd crossed his own arms stubbornly.

“If you don’t tell me, then I’m not playing this game anymore. I’ll tell Wu to send you back to your mom and I’ll run away. You and Skylor won’t see me again. Even if you do find us, I’ll be helping Nya kill you.” Kai threatened.

Damn. Lloyd really pushed it.

“Ok! Ok! I just asked stuff like what you really felt towards Skylor and where the line was on what we could do about Nya.” Lloyd admitted.

This was the furthest from the plan Lloyd could get.

“And the answers?” Kai asked, raising an eyebrow impatiently.

Lloyd shuffled his feet. He hated being cornered like this. He could try to use his powers on him again, but that might make the situation worse. Best to come clean and salvage what he could from it. He had one more move he could make to save this, but he needed to meet all of Kai’s demands first.

“You said it was complicated with Skylor. You like her, but you’re also scared of her and what she might do to you to get what she wants. And you said you’d never be ok being with Skylor if Nya died, even if we weren’t involved.”

Kai nodded once. That all sounded right to him.

“Are you happy?” Lloyd asked.

“No. Not at all. Lloyd, that wasn’t ok. If that happens again, I mean it, I will run.” Kai lectured.

Lloyd looked down, trying to portray the right amount of shame. He just needed the conversation to end.

“Promise me it won’t happen again.” Kai said, uncrossing his arms.

Lloyd caught his finger twitching again and swallowed his smile.

“I won’t use my powers on you again, promise.”

Nothing about Skylor’s powers, nothing about his mom’s, nothing about external magic, nothing about the other ninja. Lloyd left himself plenty of loopholes.

“I want your word.” Kai said.

“I give you my word as a Montgomery and as a Garmadon.” Lloyd said.

He didn’t hesitate. He left enough loopholes to be comfortable giving his word.

Kai seemed satisfied though. As useful as it was for them for now, as some point they’d have to teach him to think through his contracts more.

“Alright.” Kai said, turning to leave.

“Oh! Wait!” Lloyd said, carefully tailoring his tone.

He ran right up to Kai, grabbing his hand like the little kid Kai was seeing. Quickly, so that Kai couldn’t react, Lloyd pulled the cursed ring from his pocket and pressed it into Kai’s hand.

“Here. You can take this.”

The door was shut before Kai could even see what Lloyd gave him. If asked about it later, Lloyd was going to say he thought Kai wouldn’t want to trust him with it after that talk.

There was a chance Kai was going to give it to one of the others to hide, but Lloyd had seen how uncomfortable his bare finger was feeling. That ring would be back on his finger by his own hand before he made it to the next room. And coerced or not, the ring’s effects doubled when the wearer puts it on themselves.

That part had gone exactly to plan.

Kai isn't a fool, but he is still in over his head.

-Ivy

#Mod Ivy #lego ninjago #ninjago #blursed ninjago au #blursed ninjago snippets

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dorizardthewizard · 2 years

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Ninjago Crystalized E13 - E21 thoughts

I was gonna say liveblog but is it really live if I post it all later?

Ended up rambling about some bits so while this is mostly lighthearted, don’t read if you’re not in the mood for ninjago criticism

EP 13

tbh I watched the chinese dub of this before the english so i’m not paying that much attention, especially since i’m not a fan of bringing harumi back.

i’m pretty sure everyone else has more coherent thoughts on that whole thing, i’m just meh about it at this point

EP 14

heh ninjago went acab i guess

JAY WAS A MODEL TRAINS PERSON OF COURSE HE WAS

lloyd thinking harumi killed the others honestly doesn’t hit for me, they already did this at the end of season 8 and had lloyd refuse to give in to anger like her so doing this now...

like i know they did it so lloyd could go evil but his anger doesn’t even feel believable because he gets to that stage literally in the matter of seconds. it's like "ok we're doing the evil oni thing and this needs to happen now"

the star wars inspiration really shows here, harumi is basically trying to get lloyd to join the dark side like the end of the first trilogy lool

EP 15

kai is being a bit more of a leader here, keeping a level head and pointing out ideas to get themselves out

REVENGE!!! part of me is annoyed that aspheera has just been relegated to meme status but i also kinda love it

ok the action is actually amazing in this season, compare the fight choreography and the animation with the first seasons. it’s so much more dynamic!

skylor saving nya hehehee

army of pixals confirmed!

soundtrack kinda slaps tho like the music when the minipixes save the others. wait omg its a remix of pixals theme aka one of the best tracks on the show

oh come on whats the point in fakeout deathing nya AGAIN i don’t caaaaaaaaaare

EP 16

kai: they know we're here they're coming for us

cole: yea

kai: heart eyes at cole for some reason??? jk we know the reason but this is not the time kai <3</p>

i love that zane is the guy to suggest word games, i don’t know why but it fits so well with his kind of humour

okay this moment where they all think they’re gonna get crushed under the rubble together... cole struggling to hold it knowing full well he can’t save his family, cole and kai looking at each other, jay saying it’s okay... it doesn’t feel like a fakeout death because it’s done from their perspective and shows how they react in such no-win situations. it’s also almost like they’ve kind of been expecting this to happen some day and they’ve just been lucky until now. lots to unpack.

that being said i feel like at this point they should have the power to go full on sicko mode with their elements, like cole should be able to go all glowy-eyed and save everyone. or maybe i just want them to go huge with their powers more often. probably that :P

wait is this not the first time they’ve had the chance to stop and talk to nya properly since she came back? shouldn’t this be a bigger moment? just thinking back to how nya was unconscious when they got her back, we never got a big emotional hug moment y’know?

how many times has the monastery or bounty been destroyed at this point?

skylor hugging kai and nya hehehe they are both important to her!

ngl idk why lloyd is so adamant on trying to get harumi to see the light, after the oni trilogy and him getting beaten up by garmadon while trying to appeal to his good side, you’d think he wouldn’t have so much faith in her? idk i feel like lloyd was supposed to learn that seeing the best in people can sometimes hurt you and you have to let them go (and then maybe learn that it’s also a strength after being too distrustful of akita or vania for example), so this doesn’t really fit with that growth.

EP 17

oooooh the overlord is back who could have seen that coming

Wu: somehow, the overlord has returned

^ ok i know he actually gave some reason as to how he returned but the second he pulled out a scroll and started rambling about some rando i clocked out

not feeling harumi's redemption tbh. i prefer her as a complex character who might be against hurting innocents now but still hates lloyd

lloyd can still quip at a time like this? he still believes his friends are dead no?

harumi: from this height you'd never survive!

^ BIG F TO THE ELEMENTAL DRAGONS

there is no way they survived that omg

EP 18

harumi flirting with lloyd is pretty funny i love her style of villainy. always with the masks

kids cartoons continuing to make quicksand out as much more of a problem than it is irl pffft

their bickering dynamic is kinda fun tbh, harumi trusting lloyd with the sword and him actually getting her out was a cool moment

lloyd: you just attacked me like 5 minutes ago!

harumi: i wont do it again ;)

this is hilarious

EP 19

unrelated but i miss silly old man wu. why is he so serious now. why does ninjago feel so melodramatic now.

ANTONIAAAAA

the gold outfits are kinda ugly ngl. like its not shiny gold like the zx suits, its just... dark yellow green

GARMADON IS VINNY'S ROOMMATE AND KEEPS HIM UP AT NIGHT GOOODDD THIS IS EVERYTHING

EP 20

garmadon trying to help but accidentally being a dick is hilarious

the "IT'S GARMADON!!" stuff rubs me the wrong way... stop trying to be the ninjago movie. i miss dilf good guy garmadon sm

yeah this ain’t it. we made such a big deal about garmadon being evil again and this was all it took to be nice again?

that being said vinny is the mvp lmao

lloyd never mentions the old garmadon this really is just a soft reboot but with the ninjago movie version

and christofern is the one thing that got garmadon to go after the crystal king? oh please. new ninjago has a problem where it takes itself too seriously but then when it really matters, they pull the "it's just a kids show" excuse and do something stupid like that bc they're too lazy to write garmadon properly without retreading too much. old ninjago also missed out on character potential a lot but at least the jokes didn't undercut the emotional moments.

EP 21

lloyd having to embrace his oni form is super cool tbh

"really? this again?" garmadon voicing my reactions to most of the plots and arcs since s11 LOL

aww kai sounds so concerned for lloyd

oh i forgot about misako

i forgot about the neon ninja too. remember when we thought they'd be more important to the plot?

pixal: and noooooow for the product placement! get in the vehicle.

#ninjago #ninjago crystalized #ninjago crystalized spoilers #will post pt 2 later #hoo boy i feel a rambly review coming #my posts #dori watches ninjago

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pythors-pandemic · 2 years

Text

Video Games - Plasma Fanfic

Summary: Kai has commitment issues, but one day while playing video games with Jay, those issues start to be resolved.

Pairing: Jay x Kai

Takes Place: after season 4 before season 5

Warnings: swearing, raging commitment issues, a little angst, suggestive dialogue, making out

Word Count: 8,022

A/N: I have a headcanon that Kai is afraid of commitment and he and Skylor are FWB so I had fun with that idea and made it a plasma fic

Masterlist

When it comes to emotions, Kai is closed off. It’s why he’s so independent. It’s why it took him so long to find his true potential. It’s why he and Skylor are nothing more than friends with benefits. Nya’s the only person he’s ever been open with, and even then he keeps most things private.

“She asked me on a date. Can you believe that?! Me! On a date!” Kai laughed. He and Jay decided to go out for some pizza.

“Uh, yeah I can. I mean, dude, you’re hot. And not like Master of Fire hot, you’re hot hot.” Jay said with a mouth full of pizza. Kai blushed.

“Well I know that! I mean, I’d just be such a bad boyfriend. Not to mention, I don’t want to mess up what we already have going. It’s a good thing. It’s fun and there’s nothing tying us down, it’s perfect.” Kai said, feeling a bit more serious.

“You’re such a slut.” Jay joked.

Kai made a faux shocked expression and threw his crumpled up napkin at him. “Shut up!”

“But seriously, why does that surprise you? I mean, you two have been fuck buddies for, what? A month now? Why don’t you go out on an actual date and see how it goes?” Jay asked. Kai frowned at this question. He didn’t like romance, and he didn’t like talking about why he didn’t like romance.

“I don't know, Jay. it’s just not my thing.” He shrugged. “I'm not into the lovey dovey stuff. I'm more of a let’s have fun and nothing more. It’s easier that way.” He moved his gaze from Jay to the table.

“You’re really missing out. Relationships are the best! You get to cuddle and go on adventures together. Not to mention, you get to share your life with someone you care about and someone who cares about you.” Jay gushed. He was definitely a relationship kind of guy. Nothing made him happier than showing his love.

Except Jay’s reasons for loving relationships were the reasons Kai hated them. Sharing his life? Having someone care about him to that extent? Caring about someone to that extent? Absolutely not. When he thought about getting serious with someone, he gets jittery and anxious. He didn’t need anyone to know anything about him other than the basics. And he sure as hell, didn’t need to rely on someone that much. When you get into a relationship, you bring all your baggage with. Kai had too much baggage for anyone else to handle.

“Whatever, lovebird. I simply do not want to get into a relationship.” Kai said.

“it sounds like Skylor does, though. I think you’re going to have to be honest with her about where you stand. It’d be unfair to her if you didn’t.” Jay made a good point. It would be extremely unfair to keep his feelings to himself, despite how much he wanted to.

---

Kai and Jay met up in the Bounty’s living room almost every night for their midnight video game sessions. They liked playing with each other more than the others because they're both equally bad at it, but pretend that they're both equally good at it. Lately, they’ve been getting a little too loud, so they were trying their best to stay quiet tonight.

“FUCK YEAH! You lose again, sucker!” Kai shouted, jumping up from the couch in triumph.

Jay quickly pulled him back to the couch and covered his mouth. “Shhhhh, Sensei Wu is going to yell at us again! Or worse, Zane!”

“Oh whatever! I’m not scared of them. I got 5 wins in a row! That’s an all time low for you.” Kai smirked, shoving his hand away.

“Ughhh! I wanna play with Sensei, maybe then I'll win.” Jay whined. There was a pause in conversation as Kai set up the next round. Jay watched his face as he did. His features were beautifully defined by the fluorescent light of the TV. There was no denying that Kai was an attractive man. He had a sharp jawline and the most wonderful lips. And his hair! It was Jay’s favorite part about him, especially when it wasn’t gelled. It was fluffy and covered his eyes slightly. “Why do you always use so much hair gel? It looks good all natural.” Jay asked. He moved closer and reached out to touch it.

Kai looked over and pushed his hand away. “Why do you always use so much hair gel? It’s curly. Everyone loves curly hair. Total babe magnet.” Kai retorted. Now it was his turn to reach out and touch Jay’s hair. Jay didn’t push his hand away, however. He let him run his hand through it. “And it’s soft… damn.” Kai added, lowering his voice. He got lost in Jay’s hair. He ran his hand from the top of Jay’s head to the bottom of his ear and then paused. Jay looked up at him doe eyed. When their eyes met, Kai realized he might’ve played with it for a little too long. “C’mon,” He said, slapping his cheek softly, “We got another round of ass kicking to do.”

“Except this time, your ass is getting kicked!” Jay smirked with determination.

“In your dreams, nunchucks.”

As the game started, Jay did everything he could to mess Kai up. Near the end, when Kai was almost about to win, Jay lunged over and tried to take his controller. They both fought to have it. Kai was laughing and Jay was smiling so widely his face was hurting. Despite his efforts, Kai still came out victorious. “HA! You even cheated and I still won!” He cheered.

Jay frowned. “You suck! I’m usually good at this.” He crossed his arms and dramatically pouted.

“No you’re not!” Kai scoffed. “I beat you at everything. Even when we’re training!”

“That is so not true!” Jay defended.

“Bro, it totally is.” The two angled themselves so they were facing each other. Kai had his leg up and his arm lazily resting on his knee while Jay sat criss cross. Kai smirked as an idea popped into his head. “I can prove it.”

“Really? We’re doing this right now?” Jay asked with doubt in his voice.

“Yeah.” Kai responded with a wicked smile. Jay shrugged and decided a little tussle could be fun. They both sat up and Kai started counting down from 3. Once he said go, they lunged at each other. They were both on their knees and struggling to pin the other. Eventually, Jay pushed Kai into the couch. He protected himself by raising his arms up. The two wrested around like kids. When Jay realized Kai might actually win, he went for his weak spot.

Jay started attacking Kai’s sides. He started to laugh harder and harder as Jay tickled him mercilessly. “Stop! Stop!” He shouted between laughs. His stomach started hurting and he was losing his breath. He tried to squirm away, but the two ended up falling off the couch, Kai on top of Jay. He quickly pinned Jay’s arms above his head. “How well did that work out?” He smirked, his face completely red. He got close to Jay’s face and whispered, “I still won.”

“Oh yeah?” Jay whispered back. He flipped them over so quickly Kai got dizzy. Jay had each hand on either side of Kai’s head. “What about now?” He said in a low tone.

Something about Jay’s voice and the position they were in was doing something to Kai. He brought his hands to Jay’s sides, holding him in place. A shiver ran up Jay’s spine. “I yield. You win.” Kai said in a hushed voice, matching Jay’s low tone. Butterflies made their way into his stomach as Jay started bringing his face closer.

“Good.” He said with a smile that made Kai think new things about him.

He brought his hand to Jay’s face and slowly made his way to his hair. He moved a piece out of his face. “You really do have nice hair.” He smiled up at him, running his hand through it once again.

“Thanks.” Jay blushed. He was now feeling the same butterflies Kai was.

The atmosphere changed completely as the two looked at each other, neither making any effort to get off the floor. Kai was rubbing his thumb across Jay’s cheek lovingly. His thoughts were running crazy as he focused on Kai’s actions. His heartbeat quickened when he thought about all the ways this situation could end. He didn’t want to get off Kai and he knew by the strong hold Kai had on his torso that he didn’t want to move either. He wanted to take the moment past the point of no return.

Kai had the same thoughts floating around his head. Jay looked absolutely irresistible on top of him. He enjoyed their position more than he’d ever admit. He wanted to be closer, connected to Jay. He moved his hand to the back of his head, entangling his fingers with the curly mess of hair. His blood rushed as he thought about Jay’s lips on his. His gaze flickered between his eyes and lips. Instinctively, he pulled Jay’s head down. “Jay?” He said in a low questioning tone.

Jay smiled as he realized what was about to happen. “Yeah…?”

The two were startled apart by a loud slam that came from the sleeping quarters. They sat up and seconds later, Zane was at the doorway. “Can you two PLEASE be quiet?! We are all trying to sleep!” He shouted. “Nex time you guys wake me, I’ll break the video game console.” He threatened.

“Sorry Zane, we got caught up.” Jay said, helping Kai off the floor.

“A little too caught up.” Kai said under his breath, sending Jay a glance. The Master of Lightning returned the glance and a slight awkwardness fell over the group.

Zane deadpanned. “Right.” He rolled his eyes and left without a second word.

The boys looked at each other. The tension was thick and overwhelming. Neither knew where to go from here. Whether they wanted to talk about what almost happened or wanted to go ahead and let it happen, the words were lost. “Okay… so I guess we should go to bed?” Jay asked sheepishly, opting for the safest option of ignoring it entirely.

“Yeah… you go ahead though. I’ll turn off the game and stuff.” Kai responded, avoiding eye contact. When Jay left, he let out a big sigh. He didn’t know exactly how to feel about what went down, but he knew Zane’s interruption annoyed him. He wanted to kiss Jay. He really really wanted to kiss Jay. He’d never thought about him like that until then. Maybe he’s been overlooking Jay. He was cute and funny and they enjoyed each other's company. The lovey dovey stuff sounded appealing when he thought about doing it with Jay.

The idea brought a smile to Kai's face, at least for a little bit. The more he thought about an actual relationship, the more anxious he felt. The same kind of anxiety he felt when he thought about going any further with Skylor. Relationships made him feel vulnerable. He hated it. He didn’t want to give himself to anyone on an emotional level. He shook the thought out of his head and cleaned up the living room.

---

Ever since that night, the energy between Kai and Jay had been different. There was something in the air they couldn’t quite explain. Jay had been wearing his hair without any product more often and Kai had been making off-handed flirty comments every chance he got. Kai made off-handed flirty comments to all the ninja, but lately they have been saved for only Jay. Skylor also hadn’t been around lately. Kai wasn’t making any extra effort to avoid her, he was simply preoccupied with Jay. That, and Sensei Wu’s new investment.

“I still can’t believe you bought a random old building.” Cole groand, hauling boxes from the Bounty into the small shop. “What’s it for anyways?” He asked.

“My new business.” Wu said simply. Despite all the ninja’s pestering, that was all he told them. He enjoyed his secrets.

Cole dropped the boxes with a huff. “Can you two stop messing around and help us!” He shouted at Kai and Jay when he saw them playing around with empty boxes.

The boys ignored their friend and kept on the shenanigans. “Okay! Now try!” Jay laughed as he put an empty box on his head. Kai smiled devilishly and punched Jay in the head. He tried not to hit too hard, but Jay still ended up falling over. “Nope…” He muttered, “Cardboard makes for terrible armor.” He scratched his head and sat up slowly. He tried to get up, but he was feeling a little woozy.

“Sorry!! Here.” Kai smiled, offering his hand. Jay accepted gratefully and Kai pulled him up. “Your hair’s all messed up.” He said when Jay took the box off his head. Without a second thought, he fixed it for him. Jay sighed at his touch.

“Uh… has anyone else noticed those two have been awfully close lately?” Cole whispered to his other teammates.

“Hey… yeah. They have been spending, like, all their time together.” Lloyd commented.

“And Skylor hasn’t been around in a few days.” Zane added. The three boys watched as Kai played with Jay’s hair. “It is most peculiar.” He said.

“Those two have always had a weird little bond, but I think there’s something more going on…” Cole trailed off, turning away from the scene. He grabbed a box from the doorway and brought it further into the building. The others followed suit. Wu instructed them to take the boxes upstairs. Once there, they started unloading.

“Like what?” Lloyd asked.

“I never told you guys this, mostly because Jay said if I did, he’d ‘zap me into oblivion’,” Cole said with air quotes, “But he’s always had a little crush on Kai. Nothing big, though. Kai’s just… well, you know Kai. He’s funny, flirty, and easy on the eyes. How can you not have a crush on him? Except, Jay told me it was nothing but attraction.” He explained, putting various nicknacks onto shelves.

“If two people are attracted to each other, romance becomes highly probable.” Zane said. “If this is the case, the closeness makes perfect sense! Maybe they’re dating.”

“Not everyone moves as fast as you and Pixal, Zane. I’m sure if anything romantic is going on, it hasn’t gotten to that point.” Lloyd said. He collected the empty boxes and started breaking them down. “Besides, isn’t Kai dating Skylor?” He asked.

“Not dating, they’re only hooking up.” Zane said.

“Oh gross.” Lloyd cringed. “But that makes sense. Kai hates relationships. I figured he got over it because of Skylor but nope.” He added, making a disgusted face. “All Jay talks about is love and romance and all that junk, though. Guys, if we’re right, this isn’t going to end well.” He looked around at his brothers. Worry made its way on all of their faces.

“Lloyd would be correct, Kai is afraid of commitment. If feelings start to grow, disastrous consequences are sure to follow.” Zane said.

They were pulled out of conversation when an unfamiliar car drove up to the building. They walked outside to see Skylor hugging Kai. She had brought lunch for everyone. “Thanks, Skylor!” Kai cheered, pulling away from the hug. Cole immediately ran over to all the food she brought, all thoughts leaving his mind.

“Nice to see you guys. It’s been a while.” Skylor smiled. She grabbed Kai’s hand and intertwined their fingers. A surge of anxiety flew through him as she did. He tried to ignore it, but he began to sweat. He knew she wanted something more and he didn’t. He needed to tell her how he was feeling before she started to think otherwise.

Zane watched as a frown appeared on Jay’s face. His eyes were dead set on Kai and Skylor’s hands. “Are you alright, friend?” Zane asked him, resting his hand on his shoulder.

“Uhm, yeah. Yeah I’m fine.” Jay cleared his throat. It was as Zane feared. Jay’s feelings have grown stronger.

---

Skylor spent the rest of the day with the ninja, and ended it in Kai’s bed. The two snuck away to the bounty as everyone else mingled in what Wu finally told them was a tea shop.

“Now that’s what I call fun.” She smirked as she got out of the bed. Her face was flushed and her hair was messy. She went to the mirror and put it back up into her signature ponytail before gathering the clothes they threw around.

“It’s always fun when you’re with me, baby.” Kai said with a wink and cocky smile. He smirked as he watched her get dressed. “You have to come around more often.” He added, getting out of the bed himself.

“Maybe we could go out next time.” Skylor suggested, throwing his boxers at him. Kai’s smile left. “There’s a new restaurant opening up in Ninjago City. We could check it out.”

“Yeah totally! I could see if the guys or even Nya wanted to join us. It could be a whole group outing.” Kai responded. He tries his best to reject any plans that could be interpreted as a date. It wasn’t the first time the two had an interaction like this, and Skylor was getting fed up.

“Kai. What’s going on here?” She asked bluntly. By this point, she was fully dressed and a little pissed off.

“What do you mean? We’re just two friends having fun. Nothing more.” Kai said as if it was obvious. He put on his pants and his nerves started to grow. He was putting on his cool guy persona, but Skylor wasn’t having it.

“That’s all? Just friends?” She whispered, walking closer to him. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. “...Are you sure?” Her voice was low and smooth. It drove Kai crazy. She left a trail of heated kisses on his neck.

He closed his eyes as he tried not to focus on her actions. He knew she was trying to get him to say what she wanted to hear, but he couldn’t lie. “Yes. That’s all we are.” He finally said, shrugging her away. Guilt washed over him as he saw her shocked reaction.

“Really? Kai, I like you. I like you a lot. I don’t want to be the ghost in your bed anymore. I want to be more than that.” She responded, exhaust in her voice. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her arms were crossed. She could see Kai trying to calculate a response. “Are we ever going to be more than ‘friends who have fun’ or whatever you like to call it?” She said with a stern expression. Despite her attempts to hide behind a tough exterior, her voice cracked. She felt like crying. She had wasted a month of her life chasing after the unattainable.

“Skylor…” Kai trialled off. He reached out for her, but she backed away. “I…” He tried to find a way to explain, but his lack of words and reserved body language was enough for Skylor. She had her answer.

“Have a good night, Kai.” She said straight faced. “I’ll see you around.” With that, The Master of Amber left, presumably for good.

---

Kai returned to his family in far worse of a mood than when he left. The lights were dim and the soft hum of music was playing throughout the shop. The ninja as well as Wu, Misako, and Nya were laughing and chatting with warm tea in their hands and smiles on their faces. Kai’s dampened presence did not go unnoticed. “Hey buddy! Woah… are you okay?” Cole’s smile left as he saw Kai walk in.

“Yeah…” Kai croaked. He grabbed some tea for himself and joined the party.

“Where’s Skylor?” Wu asked.

“She… uh. She went home.” Kai got lost in his emotions for a second. His frown grew bigger as he thought about how he acted. He wished he could go back and be honest with her. He was kicking himself for it. This kind of stuff happened often. Feelings get hurt when emotions grow big. Usually, Kai was the one hurting feelings. He stopped his thoughts before they became too dark. He shook his head and put on a fake smile, “What are we talking about?”

Chatter started back up in no time. Kai tried his best to engage, and he was doing a pretty good job at it; at seeming like nothing was amiss. He ignored all his thoughts of Skylor and listened intently to Misako’s stories of Wu and Garmadon’s teenage years. Jay however, could see right through Kai. He figured things between him and Skylor were finally over. A spark of hope struck in his stomach.

Unlike Kai, Jay was very intune with his emotions. He couldn’t deny his budding affections for the brunette. He had been putting a little extra effort into their friendship ever since the game night because of it. And his efforts were not in vain. The two had never been closer. Sometimes, Jay toyed with the idea of his affections being returned. Kai had been extra flirty and extra touchy lately. In his heart, he saw the two ending up together, but in his mind, he saw no such thing.

He knew Kai was in no mindset for a relationship, but he couldn’t understand why. Jay loved loving people. He had only been in 2 serious relationships in his lifetime, but each one he held near and dear. The first was a sweet girl from his hometown. She taught him how to express his emotions. She was the first person he shared his truest feelings with. He learned how to be vulnerable with her and everyone else in his life. The second was a boy he met in a small shop in Ninjago City. He helped him come to terms with his bisexuality and even aided in his coming out. He learned how to be himself and be comfortable with who he was.

No matter how the relationships ended, no matter the hardships or any pain that might have come with, Jay was grateful for his exes. Without them, he wouldn’t be the person he is today. He couldn't wrap his head around why anyone would want to miss out on such an enriching part of life.

Jay walked over to Kai and rested his hand on his shoulder. “You’re not okay.” He whispered. Kai gave him a glance that confirmed his statement. “Want to go hang out somewhere private?” Kai nodded and the two silently left the comradery. Zane, Cole, and Lloyd shared a knowing glance as they walked away.

---

“I’m guessing things didn’t go well with Skylor?” Was the first question of many Jay asked when he and Kai arrived in the Bounty’s living room. The two sat down on the floor on either side of the coffee table.

“She asked if I wanted to go to a restaurant with her and I said no.” Kai shrugged. He wanted to tell Jay everything. He wanted to tell him about how he felt awful for not giving Skylor a reason for his rejection, or how he wished he could give her what she wanted but something in his heart tells him no everytime he gets too close to someone, or how he’s been thinking an awful lot about Jay himself. He wanted to tell him that he was only upset that he hurt Skylor. He didn’t care that their fling was over because the game night stuck with him. He wanted to tell Jay that he wanted to kiss him and not her. He wanted to be close to him and not her. He wanted to go out with him and not her. But he couldn’t.

“You’re being vague.” Jay pointed out. He knew Kai didn’t like discussing emotions, but he was determined to get him talking anyways.

“She asked if we were going to be more than friends with benefits and I said no and then she left.” Kai told him. He didn’t say anything else, because there wasn’t anything else he deemed worthwhile.

“That’s still vague. Did you at least tell her why?” Jay asked.

“... no.” Kai sighed.

“Why don’t you want to go out with her?” Jay asked. Kai furrowed his eyebrows. He was starting to get annoyed with the interrogation.

“I don’t know.” He responded with a touch of anger in his voice. It was a flat out lie, and Jay knew it.

“Yeah you do, dude. Why don’t you want to go out with her?” He repeated.

“I don’t fucking know, Jay.” Kai said through gritted teeth. He was clenching his fists and avoiding eye contact. Of course, anger didn’t have to be his response. Kai could’ve told him it was because he had fond feelings for another, or because she wasn’t what he was looking for, or because he wasn’t ready for a relationship, or he could’ve laid it all out on the table and explained the full extent of his commitment issues, but he didn’t. He got angry.

Jay should’ve taken it as a sign to stop questioning him, but he didn’t. “Yes. You. Do. Why don’t you want to tell me? Is it really that bad?” Jay continued.

“It’s none of your goddamn business. Would you please stop cornering me?!” He shouted, shooting up from his spot on the floor.

“No! Why are you bottling this up?! If you just talk about it--”

“I don't need to explain myself!” He cut Jay off. “Not to Skylor and especially not to my teammate who thinks crying and whining about life’s problems makes them go away! This whole ‘share your feelings and you can heal’ thing is bullshit. It doesn’t work. It just burdens whoever you’re telling AND scares them away. No one needs to deal with my baggage, you fucking lightning rod.” Kai spat. He was too angry to care about Jay’s hurt expression. He walked out without another word.

Jay only felt bad because he pissed Kai off. He actually thought ‘lightning rod’ was a clever insult and despite Kai not telling him anything, he said a lot about himself. Jay was an intuitive person. Kai gave him just enough to work off of.

---

The next day it was pretty awkward between the two. They cleaned and unpacked around the shop with little to no conversation. By nightfall, Kai was sick of it. It was dumb to hold a grudge against someone who only wanted to help. He asked Jay to play video games at midnight per tradition and he happily agreed.

“I wanted to start by saying sorry. I didn’t mean to lose my temper yesterday.” Kai told Jay as he set up the game.

“Don’t sweat it. I was being a little pushy. I should’ve known when to stop.” He sighed, handing him his controller. The two decided to play a game where they had to work together instead of fight each other for the night.

“I guess I just don’t like to talk about that kind of stuff.” Kai felt guilty. He pulled his knees to his chest and found a position he could comfortably play in.

“If you ever wanted to, I’m always here to listen. It wouldn’t burden me in any way.” Jay said with consideration for his words. He was hoping Kai would find comfort in him. As much as he wanted to pretend like his attempts to be there for Kai were, in fact, for Kai, he couldn’t ignore his selfish motivation. He wanted to know why Kai was so off put by relationships. He wanted to know if there was a chance for change. He wanted to know if there was a chance for them.

“Thanks.” Kai sadly smiled. They turned away from each other and started the game. He took a deep breath as he thought about what Jay said. Maybe he did want to talk. He kept everything inside, and it had been weighing on him. None of the ninja fully knew his past. He had never thought about that before, the fact that none of his closest friends truly knew him.

Without a second thought he muttered, “I don’t want to get hurt,” in the middle of a level.

“What?” Jay asked, not moving his gaze from the TV.

“I don’t want to get into a relationship because I don’t want to get hurt.” He repeated. Jay paused the game and looked at him.

“Oh.” He said. “Did something happen in the past… or something?” He asked quietly. He knew it was a risky move to ask something like that, but he couldn’t help himself. Anxiety started building when Kai unpaused the game without answering.

“Yeah and I want to avoid it happening again.” Kai shrugged a few moments later.

Jay smiled to himself. “I’m glad you told me.” He said softly.

“Sure, whatever. Help me kill this guy!” Kai shouted, moving past the vulnerable moment as quickly as possible. Jay felt a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest. He was beyond stoked that Kai felt comfortable enough to open up, even if it was only a crack. There is a chance for change.

The two became totally immersed in the game. Somehow, they ended up closer together on the couch than when they started. Their shoulders were completely flush. Both were aware of it and neither were complaining.

“GET HIM!! GET HIM!” Jay shouted. They had made it to the final boss in the game and he was absolutely determined to beat it.

“I’M GETTING HIM!” Kai shouted back.

The two combined their strengths and by the end of the battle, they were the victors. “FUCK YEAH!” The two cheered simultaneously, jumping off the couch and pulling each other into a hug. The hug lasted longer than it should’ve. Jay was holding on tight to Kai’s waist, while Kai had his arms wrapped around Jay’s shoulders. One hand was on the back of Jay’s head and his fingers were entangled with his hair. Jay smiled softly. He loved being close to Kai. He loved the way he was playing with his hair. He loved how he could feel his breath on his neck. He loved how his knees were bent slightly because of how tall he was. Jay never wanted to let go.

Kai took a deep breath in and relaxed into the embrace. It had been a long time since he had been held like that. It was intimate in a way he wasn’t used to. He nuzzled his head further into Jay’s shoulder and Jay tightened his grip. Kai never wanted to let go.

He started to feel a little misty eyed. He didn’t totally understand why he suddenly became emotional. Something about the hug lit a match in him. He sniffled quietly. “Are you okay?” Jay asked, pulling away just enough so he could see Kai’s face. His cheeks had a soft pink tint to them and his eyes were closed, but he was smiling.

“Yeah, Yeah. I’m okay.” Kai cleared his throat and opened his eyes to look up at Jay. “I’m okay.” He repeated.

Jay smiled back, “Good.” His word choice made Kai think back to the last time they played video games together. When Jay was on top of him and they were about to kiss. He started blushing. Butterflies bubbled in his stomach as he thought about making a stupid decion. He moved his hand to Jay’s cheek.

“What?” Jay whispered, noticing Kai’s growing grin. Without warning, Kai brought Jay’s face close and pressed a kiss to his lips. Jay pulled away in surprise.

The two looked at eachother wide-eyed. “Oh god… uh… I’m sorry. I don’t know why I just did that--” Kai rambled, backing away. “I’m sor--”

Jay stopped Kai’s apology by grabbing his shirt and reconnecting their lips. “Don’t be.” He whispered into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Kai’s neck, keeping him close.

Heat built between the two as Kai pulled Jay’s waist against his. A small gasp fell from Jay at the contact. He shifted so he could press lazy kisses along Kai’s jawline and down his neck. Kai’s head fell back as he focused on a spot below his ear. He swiped his tongue across the area before sucking softly, eliciting a quiet moan from Kai.

The two make their way to the couch, Kai pinning Jay down. Their lips stayed connected as Kai positioned himself between Jay’s legs. He held onto Jay’s thigh as he moved from his lips to his collarbone. Jay’s mind started wandering as Kai’s hands wandered his body. Doubt seeped into his thoughts as he remembered all the things Kai says about romance and relationships. Kai lifted his shirt, revealing his freckled skin. He trailed hot kisses down Jay’s torso.

“Kai.” Jay whispered as Kai reached his navel. He started to feel overwhelmed. He knew this would be a bad idea considering Kai’s raging commitment issues and Jay’s strict monogamous patterns. He didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. He didn’t want to end up like Skylor. “Kai.” He repeated in a louder tone, making the Master of Fire stop his actions.

“Yeah? Are you okay?” Kai panted.

He started sitting up, effectively making Kai move aside. “I can’t do this.” He sighed.

“Okay.” Kai replied. He leaned into the back of the couch and tried not to overthink. “That’s okay.” He said quietly.

“Despite how sexy you are and how hot that was, I can’t.” Jay joked in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s probably for the best.” Kai responded with a little chuckle. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how he was feeling or where to go now, but he wanted to know where Jay was coming from. “Just out of curiosity… why not?” He asked, nervous to hear the answer.

“I’m not a one night stand kind of guy.” Jay responded, looking over to him.

Kai felt his heart sink. He didn’t want Jay to be a one night stand and he didn’t like the fact that Jay thought that’s what would come of them. Of course, Kai couldn’t blame him for thinking that. He knew what his past looked like to others. He saddened at the thought of Jay seeing him as someone who only wants sex and nothing more. “I’m sorry.” He muttered after what felt like forever. He truly didn’t know what to say. He knew what he was thinking, but he didn’t know how to explain.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry, too.” Jay whispered back. “I think I’m going to go to sleep.” He added, getting off the couch. Kai nodded, avoiding his gaze. He left without another word.

---

Kai tossed and turned the entire night. He couldn’t get the thought of Jay out of his mind, no matter how hard he tried. He felt hot and sweaty as he racked his brain around the day. Something was different in him. He couldn’t figure out what exactly.

He was starting to think he liked Jay. Not in the way he liked Skylor, but in the way Skylor liked him. He loved the way he kissed him. He loved feeling his lips on his skin and his hands on his body, but he also loved how he hugged him. How he held him close and didn’t let go. How his warmth brought him comfort. And shockingly, he loved how it felt when he was open with him.

As much as it pained him to admit that Jay was right, Jay was right. Letting that tiny bit of vulnerability show felt amazing. It made him want to tell Jay everything. It made him want to unload his baggage. It made him want to learn about Jay’s baggage. He wanted to know why he liked relationships so much, what his childhood was like, and how he felt when he first became a ninja and what his favorite TV show was, and what villain he liked defeating the most. He wanted to tell Jay what his childhood was like, and how it felt when he first became a ninja, and what his favorite TV show was, and what villain he liked defeating the most.

He wanted Jay in all ways possible. He just didn’t know how to tell him.

Jay on the other hand, fell asleep rather quickly. He was exhausted, drained. When he got to his room, he cried a little. Nothing big, simply a few tears. He felt awful for what happened. He shouldn’t have kissed back. He shouldn’t have let it go as far as it did. He didn’t want to screw up his friendship, but he also didn’t want to screw up himself.

He knew full well that Kai was afraid of commitment, and he knew full well it would be a devastating move to think he could change that. He attempted to burn away any sort of hope he had, but even the biggest fires couldn’t diminish the small amount he kept in the back of his head.

---

“How do you make a romantic gesture?” Kai asked his friends who were enjoying their breakfast.

“Uhhh… Why?” Lloyd asked, taking a bite of whatever dish Zane made that morning.

“Doesn’t matter. How do you do it?” He asked again, sitting down at the kitchen table.

“You are looking at the wrong ninja. I know very few things about romance.” Lloyd said. “Zane’s the one with a girlfriend.” He added, gesturing to the cook.

“I’ve never made any ‘gestures’ as you call them.” Zane responded with a shrug. “Oh! wait…” He paused and pressed a few buttons on his arm.

“He gave me his heart.” Pixal’s voice came from Zane. “I’d say that was a pretty romantic gesture, honey.” She said. Zane smiled. He filled a plate with food and gave it to Kai who happily took it.

“I don’t think I can give someone my heart, I kind of need it to… uh… live?” Kai said.

“There’s ways you can give someone your heart without literally giving them your heart.” Cole chimed in. “Also, who are you trying to woo?” He added.

“Okay, dude, I don’t understand.” Kai said, completely ignoring Cole’s question. “C’mon guys! This is important!” He was clearly starting to get frustrated.

“He means you can show vulnerability to this person. The heart's a vital organ. It is meant to be protected and cared for. It is also the symbol of love. Giving someone your heart shows that person that you trust them not to hurt it.” Zane explained.

Kai didn’t like that. He hasn’t trusted someone like that in years. “Right… okay, so… I just… what? Tell them something? I have no idea what I’m doing, guys.” Kai sighed. Anxiety started running as he thought about what he was going to do.

“I think you could straight up tell them you want to be with them? That would be pretty vulnerable… for you at least.” Lloyd said with a chuckle.

“Yeah yeah yeah I get it. I’m not good with vulnerability. That’s why I came to you all.” Kai rolled his eyes.

“This would be so much easier if we knew who you wanted to be with.” Cole muttered. Kai glared at him. “Okay fine! Don’t tell us, but can you even give them your heart? Do you trust them?” he asked.

Kai thought about it for a moment. Of course he trusted Jay. He trusted him to have his back in battle, and to show up on time when they go out to eat, and things like that, but he didn’t know if he could ever trust someone not to break his heart, no matter who they were. He simply can’t handle emotional pain. “I don’t know.” He finally said.

“I think you need to ask yourself why before you start thinking of a romantic gesture.” Zane said.

---

“You left your phone here.” Kai told his partner, holding up their phone. The two were standing in the blacksmith shop after closing.

“Oh… thanks.” They smiled. They reached out to take it, but Kai backed up.

“Yeah… it was buzzing all night. Who’s this?” He asked, showing them the texts upon texts from someone Kai didn't know. All texts were things Kai would say to them. Calling them baby, wink emoticons, and sexy innuendos.

Kai’s partner stared at him wide eyed. “Did you go through my phone?” They asked, anger lacing their words. They reached once again, but Kai took another step back. “Kai, give me my phone.”

“Are you cheating on me?” He asked, tears forming. When they stayed silent he asked again.

“Yeah.” They sighed. Kai felt his entire body break. He shut his eyes tight and a few tears fell.

“... Why?” He croaked.

“Because, Kai. I don’t want you.” They responded, little emotion in their words.

Kai looked at them with confused sad puppy dog eyes. “What?” He made no effort to hide his tears.

“You’re not enough. I’m not getting what I need from you. Not to mention all you do is whine about how hard your life has been. Fun fact: everyone’s life is hard. Get over it and stop burdening those around you.” They spat. Their arms were crossed and there was no emotion behind their eyes. Kai threw their phone at them and they caught it. “Sorry, but I can’t handle you anymore.” They added.

“Please go.” He whispered. They obeyed and left without another word. Once they were gone Kai completely broke down. That night was spent in a puddle of tears. For days, Nya tried her best to console her brother to little avail. 3 weeks later, a strange man with a walking stick and long beard visited the shop with a proposition.

---

No one but Nya knew about Kai’s ex. He didn’t share that time in his life with anyone. It was the worst he’s ever felt. Someone he loved ruined him, broke him. For weeks the pain consumed him. If it wasn’t for Sensei Wu, he doesn’t know what would have come of him. He was scared it would happen again down the line. He figured the best way to avoid it was to put up walls. Lately those walls have been getting damaged. He was starting to think it was time to let them break.

He spent all day trying to figure out what he was going to do. He really did want to overcome this problem of his, and he wanted to do it with Jay; for Jay. Simply talking to him was completely out of the question. He wasn’t strong enough to tell Jay what he needed to know face to face. After racking his brain around it over and over again he finally got an idea.

“Hey sis?” Kai knocked quietly on Nya’s bedroom door.

“Yeah? Come in.” She shouted through the door. When Kai entered, he saw her on her bed reading a book about water. “Did you know water is considered sticky?” She asked with a smile on her face.

“Uh no I didn’t. That’s kind of cool though.” He responded, taking a few steps into the room. “I was wondering if I could borrow your stationary stuff?” He asked. A few months ago, Nya got really into writing letters and using fancy stationery supplies. Most of her letters are to no one, but she enjoys writing them nonetheless.

“Sure. What for?” She asked. She got off her bed and rummaged around in her closet.

“I want to send a letter and I want it to look nice.” He responded simply.

She turned back to her brother with a rather large wooden box. “Okay. Just don’t break anything.” She smiled, handing it to him.

“I won't.” He smiled back. A sense of relief fell over him when she didn’t ask any questions. “Thanks.” He added before going to the living room.

Jay wanted to know what happened, Kai was going to tell him what happened. He swallowed his anxiety and got to work.

---

A few days after Jay and Kai kissed, Jay was getting ready to go to sleep when he found a letter on his bed. It was sealed with pink and red wax with an intricate heart stamped in the middle. The paper was a soft yellow color and his name was written in calligraphy on the front. It was quite beautiful.

Confused, he sat down and read the letter.

Jay,

I know this is weird and very out of character for me, but I have to tell you something and this was the only way I felt I could do it. Mostly because, as you know, I’m shit with showing emotion. It was easier to write to you than to speak out loud. So, I guess I’m just going to rip off the bandaid.

I was in a relationship before I became a ninja. We were together for a year, until I found out they cheated on me. They were the first person I ever loved. I can’t explain how awful it felt to hear that they didn’t want me anymore. In simple terms, it broke me.

They told me I complained about my issues too much and that it was burdening them, which I guess made me think I had to hide to keep people from leaving me. I never wanted to burden anyone ever again, so I never talked about what’s going on with me or what my past looks like anymore. I put walls up to avoid a repeat of history. I never trusted anyone enough to give them my heart after that.

I hate saying this, but you were right. Talking about issues and emotions does help you heal. I learned that when I first told you I didn’t want to get hurt.

The truth is, I’m not a one night stand kind of guy. At least, I don’t want to be. The way you hugged me a few nights ago has made me rethink everything about myself and how I view romance. It was unbelievably refreshing to feel a connection like that. I hope you felt it too.

I think it cracked my walls. I think you cracked my walls. Ever since we met, you have been my best friend. I love joking around with you and fighting bad guys together and training and eating pizza together and kicking your ass on video games. I’m always smiling when I’m with you.

I want these walls down. I want to give you my heart.

I don’t know how you’re feeling about all this, and I’m terrified that I’m scaring you away, but I wanted to ask you on a date. An honest to god real date where we go out to eat in the rich part of the city or something like that.

I’ll be in the downstairs training room if you want to talk.

Kai

After finishing the letter, Jay finally understood Kai and his reasons for disliking romance. It all made sense.

He immediately made his way to the training room. He found Kai sitting on one of the courses. “Hey…” Jay whispered, walking into the room. Kai stood up and their eyes met.

“Hey…” He said. Anxiety was written all over his face.

“I got your letter.” Jay stated, closing the door.

“And…?” Kai was holding his breath.

Jay walked over to the brunette. He hesitantly cupped his cheeks and planted a sweet kiss on his lips. “I would love to go on a date with you.” He grinned.

“Oh thank fuck.” Kai smiled brightly, letting out the breath he was holding. Jay giggled and pulled him into a hug.

“I did feel it too, by the way.” Jay whispered into his ear, prompting Kai to tighten his grip.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago fanfic #ninjago fanfiction #plasmashipping #jay x kai #kai x jay #kai smith #ninjago kai #jay walker #ninjago jay #ninjago plasma #plasma fanfic

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goldenavenger02 · 3 years

Text

I can't be alone with all that's on my mind

But the hatred took over, after all. He should've been the green ninja. He should've been the one who was chosen to defeat The Overlord. "I don't want to control it! This isn't anything I don't already feel!"

Takes place after The Forgotten Element

•••

Kai's stomach convulsed as he gripped onto the toilet seat tightly, his knuckles going white.

As soon as the horror had sunk in that Skylor and Lloyd were injured by his greed and that Skylor had been taken, he had bolted to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet in time before his stomach spilled over.

Which brought him to where he was now, bent over sick in the small bathroom just outside of the main room.

•••

"You have to destroy the staff, Kai!" Lloyd pleaded, running up to him as he continued to blast Chen's lackies.

"Chen was right! This thing's awesome!"

"Kai, it holds too much power! Destroy it!" He heard Lloyd say to someone "if we don't get that staff out of his hands-!"

"No one is taking my staff!" He yelled, anger in his voice. This was his now. He deserved it, after all. Lloyd just wanted to be the special one again. "You had all the power, now it's my turn!"

He shook the thoughts out of his head briefly, glaring at the offending object. "What am I saying? I can't… I can't control it!"

"No, Kai! Don't!" Lloyd pleaded, his arm in front of Skylor. A pathetic attempt to stop him, really, as he started to use the powers, the rush flowing through his body

"I should've been the green ninja!"

And with that, he launched the blast, watching the terror in their faces. He relished it with a grin.

•••

"Kai?" A voice broke him out of his thoughts, resulting in a shudder. He couldn't quite place who it was, but then it came again. "Kai, can I come in?"

A cough cut him off from responding to Cole, but he swallowed it back. "Yeah."

The door opened and Cole sat on the floor next to him, setting his hand against his back, "FSM, you're sweating through your gi." He heard him mutter under his breath, "I brought some water if you're up to it."

Kai shook his head; he wasn't very nauseous anymore, but he also wasn't sure he could keep anything down just yet since the nausea was now being replaced by the sinking feeling of guilt.

"Sensei G's got Lloyd," Cole spoke, clearly knowing exactly what Kai was thinking, "He's got some burns, and he's kinda weak from the whole "powers being sucked out of him" thing, but he's gonna be okay."

Kai nodded, but then the second thought came to his head. 'Nya still thinks I betrayed her and everyone else.'

Once again, Cole cut him off before he could even speak. "Lloyd explained the whole thing, they're not mad. Nya said your plan was dumb, but that was it."

Kai couldn't hold back his chuckle at the mental image of Nya critiquing his plan, but it was short-lived. 'Skylor's still hurt. And missing.'

"No one blames you, you did what you thought was right." Cole spoke softly, gently setting his hand on Kai's shoulder, who finally mustered up the strength to move away from the toilet and take the cup of water from Cole's hand, muttering under his breath as he drank.

"Don't think telling Lloyd that I should've been the green ninja before blasting him was right."

"You weren't in your right mind, the staff-"

"The staff brought out my subconscious thoughts that I've had since we found out about the prophecy." Kai interrupted, setting the empty glass down on the floor.

"The staff makes one greedy, power hungry. I don't know how it does it, but it obviously does. The reason it had no effect on Chen was because the dude was already cuckoo for cocoa puffs," Kai couldn't hold back a snort at the ridiculous phrasing, "and if you don't believe me, you can go ask Lloyd for his two cents."

Kai sighed. He knew he should talk to Lloyd, at least see that he was okay for himself, but at the same time, he had hurt Lloyd, the one he swore to protect when he was fully aware of what he was doing.

"It's up to you. Alternatively, you could help us try to find Chen, but considering you just threw up your guts, I'd go with the safer choice of talking to Lloyd."

Kai used the wall to pull himself to his feet, hitting the knob on the toilet before allowing Cole to support some of his weight since his legs were still shaking before speaking.

"Take me to Lloyd."

•••

Lloyd winced as Nya wiped at the cut on the side of his cheek.

While most of his injuries were from his fight with Chen, that one had occurred when the jet crashed into the basement and the staff hit him across the face as it flew out of Kai's hand.

Although, if he was being completely honest, he didn't remember much of the whole situation.

•••

Lloyd winced as he was pulled to his feet by two of the lackies who kept referring to themselves as Kapow and Chop, his side throbbing horrendously from his fight with Chen.

Despite trying to fight back, he was weak both physically and emotionally, not to mention the vengestone keeping his hands behind his back.

As he was forced down the halls and the echoes of the large serpent hit his ears, he fought back the tears that wanted to stream down his face.

'How could Kai do this? How could he hurt the team like this?' He tried to push back the selfish thought of 'how could he hurt me like this?' and tried to replace it with 'how could he do this to Nya?' but he couldn't do it.

As the chanting grew louder, he tried one more time to break out of the two men's hold, but one just kicked him in the leg, forcing him forward into the large room all four of them had snuck into on their first night here.

But Cole and Jay were nowhere to be seen, and as he looked at Chen, Clouse and Skylor who were surrounded by guards, he swallowed harshly, seeing Kai standing next to them.

The chanting rang in his ears as he was forced to kneel, the vengestone quickly being replaced by two giant chains attached to the floor.

He looked up as footsteps approached, seeing Kai grow nearer; the sadness and fury consumed him as he demanded, his voice thick with tears. "Why would you help them?"

"Don't worry," Kai insisted in a hushed tone, but as Clouse approached, he raised his voice, "it won't hurt. Much." Before walking away from him with a cackle, the chanting stopped altogether.

Lloyd watched as Skylor offered herself willingly to the spell, a pit growing in his stomach as she cried out in agony.

He had to shut his eyes.

But the cries stopped shortly afterwards and he opened his eyes, only to see Chen approaching him with a wicked grin on his face and his stomach dropped in fear.

"And now for the final element," the staff was pointed towards him and out of the corner of his eye, Lloyd saw Kai turn away, "only one can remain."

The white light surrounded him, and he was immediately hit with a searing pain in his chest that sent him to his knees before forcing a scream from his throat.

It was over fairly quickly, but he collapsed onto his hands and knees, trying to regain his breath as his body, now weaker than ever and heaved harshly.

•••

"Alright, that's the last injury," Nya announced, bringing Lloyd out of his thought process to see a joking smile on her face, "unless you're hiding something from me."

"No, you got everything. Thank you." Lloyd smiled softly, receiving a hand in his hair and he couldn't hold back his laughter because of just how normal that was.

"I'm gonna go help them find Chen, but your dad is right outside if you need anything. Get some rest."

Lloyd nodded, watching as Nya exited the room before laying down on his back, biting back the sharpness of the bruising from where he was thrown by Chen with his own abilities directly into the leaderboard.

The pain dulled out enough for him to close his eyes and try to let sleep take him when the door opened and two sets of slow footsteps approached him.

He couldn't stop from flinching due to the sting as a hand gently touched his burned wrist, but he instantly regretted it when he heard the voice. "Lloyd? Are you awake?"

'Kai'

Lloyd opened his eyes, blinking away the blurriness to see Cole and Kai standing over him. "Yeah, I'm awake," he noticed the guilty look on Kai's face, as well as the paleness, "you okay?"

"I should be the one asking you that."

"I will be," Lloyd nodded, getting a good look at Kai's face and already knowing that if he was gonna get any information out of him, they needed to be alone, "Cole, can you-"

"Yeah, I need to talk to your dad anyways," Cole smiled, winking to ensure he got the hint before making his way out of the room.

The door barely closed before Kai spoke up, "Lloyd, I am so sorry about all of this."

"You did what you thought was best, I can't blame-" Lloyd started, but he was cut off quickly.

"I meant the staff."

'Oh'

"Kai, that wasn't your fault-"

"I could have killed you!" Kai shouted, cutting Lloyd off again, "I could've killed you and Skylor, I said things to you that I haven't believed in years!" He had tears coming down his face now even though his cheeks were still red with frustration, "I hurt Skylor, I hurt Nya… I hurt you."

Lloyd wasn't thinking when he wrapped his arms around him, all he knew in that moment was that he needed Kai to stop crying, to stop feeling so bad for something that wasn't even his fault.

He felt hot tears soaking his shoulder as Kai's body shook against him, like he had been holding this in for a long time. 'How do I make him see that it isn't his fault?'

•••

Garmadon wasn't sure what he was expecting when Kai came out of the small room that his son was currently residing in while he recovered.

He definitely wasn't expecting him to come out with tears in his eyes and bright red cheeks though.

"Kai, are you alright?" He asked softly, in order to avoid startling the obviously in distress teenager.

"Yeah," he stopped to wipe his face on his sleeve, "yeah, I'm okay?"

Garmadon raised an eyebrow before motioning him closer. "Take a walk with me, Kai."

"No, you need to stay with Lloyd-"

"Just down the hall and back," Garmadon didn't like the idea of leaving his son, but he also knew that the majority of the elemental masters were nearby, and if there was an emergency, they would be informed before anything could happen to Lloyd, "Lloyd will be fine."

Kai relented after that and the two of them started walking at a steady pace with only the silence lingering in between them.

"You know, Kai," Garmadon spoke softly, watching as the fire elemental's gaze met his, "when I was bitten, I did a lot of things that I didn't have control over. I became corrupted and hurt a lot of people I care about. My brother, my wife, you four ninja, even Lloyd."

Garmadon heard Kai's breath hitch and saw a few tears forming in his eyes. "But after my son saved me, you all forgave me even though I didn't feel as though I deserved it. I still don't know how all of you did that so easily."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, it took me awhile to forgive you for all of that." Kai said in a joking tone, even if his voice was thick from crying and the tear stains on his cheeks were becoming fresh again.

Garmadon shot him a soft smile before continuing, "there are things in this world that we cannot control, things that have to balance out. Although it takes time to heal from those things, to forgive ourselves for those things, that doesn't mean we can't let others forgive us for them and to give us a second chance."

Kai wiped his face on his sleeve again and Garmadon put his hand on his shoulder, feeling his body shake under his touch.

"You don't have to forgive yourself right away from what happened with the corruption from the staff. In fact, I wouldn't expect you to do so. But letting the others in, letting them give you a second chance… It's a good place to start."

Kai nodded, tears rushing down his cheeks at full speed now, "I'll do that."

"Good man," Garmadon smiled as the two of them turned to make their way back down the hall, "and if you need someone to talk to about this again, my door is always open."

"You don't have to-"

"I'll have none of that," Garmadon shook his head, "You will come to me if you need someone to talk to about this again."

"Is that an order?" Kai smiled, the tears finally starting to slow and his mood was clearly starting to brighten, given that his sass was coming back.

"Yes, it is." Garmadon nodded, seeing that he had accomplished what he set out to do, "do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sensei Garmadon." Kai winked as the two stopped in front of the door, his demeanor growing serious again, "I'm gonna go help them find Chen."

"Very well." Garmadon smiled, watching as Kai pulled his hood over his head before running to join the others outside.

#Ninjago #lego ninjago #kai ninjago #cole ninjago #lloyd montgomery garmadon #sensei garmadon #nya ninjago #ninjago skylor #kai angst #angst #hurt/comfort #takes place after the forgotten element #but also is slightly altered so Kai had blasted lloyd and skylor before the others came in with the roto jet #tournement of elements #kai and garmadon solidarity #emeto cw #emeto tw #its not that graphic but i know it can be triggering for some

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nonbinarykai · 3 years

Text

Okay you know what, I’ve held this back far enough

Why I hate canon Kailor sm

Tw:// misogyny ment, incest ment

Im not gonna tag Kailor on this for obvious reasons plus this is kinda a long post, I don’t mind fanon Kailor mostly because tbh I don’t think it’s really a big thing and most I have seen of it is fine. Don’t read this if you like Kailor and don’t want to hear it bashed

Okay listen, s4 is my favorite season out of all ninjago, but if theres one thing I hate about it the most is Kailor. This ship has always been really annoying to me throughout the show, and I’ve hinted towards that in my blog. But why?

1. It’s basically jaya redone

Kailor brings nothing new or interesting to the table because honestly? It’s literally just the same dynamic as jaya. Socially awkward guy simps for usually unimpressed girl until she eventually caves in and they start dating.

Not only has this already been done before with jaya, but is also completely out of character for Kai to do.

While I admit seeing Kai as a flustered dork is kinda funny, once you realize the context of the situation that they’re in it’s pretty clear that Kai would never actually do this.

Reminder: Kai JUST found out his dead friend is alive and is forced to recognsizle with friends in order to get him back

Usually when Kai is presented in a situation like this, what he normally does is set himself dead first on the task at hand and usually ignores any distractions. He’s mostly distance and seemingly uncaring

((note this is after Zane died and Kai ran away from the ninja because of cole and jays bickering, knowing him he wouldn’t be the most excited to be back. His arc should have revolved around coming to terms with lost friendships due to death or distance but that never happens)).

What Kai DOESNT do is immediately fall head over heels for a girl he JUST meet to the point where even when he sees his DEAD FRIEND ALIVE AND WELL he completely ignores that for a girl he meet less then a week ago

This is something JAY would do, not KAI, Kai is a loyal friend who do anything to save his friends, he cherishes them and would fight god to help them with anything they need, he doesn’t forget them for someone new

It also does skylor unjustice as well, but we’ll get there when we get there

2. It adds nothing to the characters and is otherwise never mention again

You know how bad you fuck up a relationship if the best aspect of it is how it’s rarely on screen

Even considering the fact Kailor is just jayas dynamic, the connection between skylor and Kai feels completely non existent or one sided

Most of Kailor revolves around Kai simping for skylor

They have no common interests, common goals, they rarely actually talk outside of lloyds plan to overthrow chen

The whole relationship feels forced every time it’s brought up because of how disconnected they both are to eachother, Kai only likes skylor because she’s hot and that’s it, nothing else about her is actually interesting to Kai in anyway ((again sort out of character for him in this situation))

Skylor and Kai don’t form any genuine bond with eachother, it feels hallow and empty

Let’s compare this to lava, wait no that would be to easy, let’s compare this to pixane

Pixal and Zane both genuinely like and respect eachother, they both share bonds outside of being robots, they both care about eachother enough to know when they’re uncomfortable or need help

Kailor is barely mentioned past s4 and most of it in s4 is Kai being a creep

Oh yeah let’s get to that

3. It’s really really creepy

Im sorry I don’t find incest jokes funny ninjago, it’s just really uncomfortable and creepy

Hopefully this goes without saying but Kai thinking skylor is hot, figuring out they might be related and no longer finding her hot, and then finding out they aren’t and thinking she’s hot is really weird and creepy

Not to mention scenes like, Kai looking into her room without her knowledge or consent

Or Kai fighting people for her when it’s not necessary

Or him trying to impress her everytime he sees her

This isn’t cute or funny, it’s gross, privacy invading, and overall just very creepy and uncomfortable and most definitely not healthy

Again, this is REALLY out of character for Kai, Kai knows when to back off and respect people’s privacy

Literally the season before this he didn’t get involved in the love triangle probably because he knew that would make Nya’s situation worse

So for him to suddenly become this privacy evading perv is so grossly out of character for him and makes the whole relationship feel off and unhealthy

And finally

4. The whole thing is misogynistic

During this entire thing skylor doesn’t get a choice in the show once, she follows the commands of her dad before Kai tells her not to like her dad and follows his lead.

She doesn’t come to disliking her dad by her own thought, she was told to by Kai

She doesn’t get to do anything that SHE actually wants to do until LITERALLY the VERY END

She’s told by guys around her what she should do constantly, even without her being a love interest that’s just screams misogynistic to me ((Afab speaking anyways))

Everything about her character, down to the way she talks, who she’s allied with, and even sometimes how she looks is determined by male characters

Conclusion

If canon ships were shrek movies then kailor is easily shrek the third, a constant tired unfunny mess that caused everyone to think that these ships were shit ((to be fair Jaya is kinda bad to but at least it tired to get better))

There’s nothing redeeming about it to me, every time it’s viewed in a romantic setting it makes me groan or upset

What’s even more frustrating is how people constantly say lava can’t be canon because of it

Im going to go on a side tangent so you can just skip this part as it doesn’t add any actual substance to my argument

But it’s so frustrating to see people say that

Cole and Kai have had a much healthier relationship and would be a lot better for there characters

But no, this stupid misogynistic creepy ship where one side isn’t even consententing to it half the time is the one that has to stay canon because “it’s what the creators intended”

Lava isn’t the superior possibly canon relationship because it’s gay, it’s superior because it’s closer to a healthy working relationship in show then kailor has been ((fanon lava and kailor doesn’t count here because they’re isn’t any better fanon ship, Im just talking about in show))

But no it can’t be canon and it’s unfair for people to want it to be canon because tommy created this rlly shitty straight relationship for Kai instead

TLDR; fuck kailor

#ninjago #kai smith #ninjago kai #long post

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m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 2 years

Text

to see; to be seen

hiya there @fangirltakesall! i was your secret santa:D for the @ninjagosecretsanta2021 - i really hope that you enjoy reading this! and i hope that you have a great christmas and an awesome festive season:D

i hope that this was queued right? timezones are weird xD

you asked for hurt/comfort, the main girl trio, and characters realising that their lives have changed and deciding what to do about it.

i give you,,, pix and nya, after the last episode of s8.

(i tried to include skylor, so many times, but my brain said 'no<3' - i'm so sorry! ik you said trio, it's literally been keeping me up at night but the words didn't wanna cooperate:/. ahh i'm really sorry).

trigger warnings: mentions/a short flashback of pix's body being smashed in s4, grief and all the stuff that comes w/ it, implied self harm (not much but just mentioning to be safe)

word count: 7 026

also - it warrants a mention that you can stop reading at the '---' mark, but there's a bit of an,, epilogue at the end, from misako's pov. i needed someone who'd had experience with that kind of thing to talk to pix about it, so comes in her character, but ik a lot of the fandom doesn't like her - which is fine! if so, just stop reading at the '---' mark:D

and- oh gosh this A/N is so long, but:

lloyd's not sleeping he's concussed (to explain why he fell asleep to quickly), pix was locking her emotions away w/ code when she was talking to nya (hence why she was so calm and didn't think of the others often), the ice is nice thing is a line from the movie, and the dorris day one is the line from the movie bloopers (on yt). the ninja went to go watch a movie that darreth let a bunch of people make (tlnm), so that's how they know abt it. misako had friends in college who went through similar things (referring to her characterisation in the 'epilogue'), so that's why she kept thinking not again, because she didnt want to see anyone else hurt like that. also nya kept tracing a star on her hand, kai used to do that w/ her when she was little, whenever she was scared (for some context/explanation).

anyyyways, here's the fic!:D i've never done a secret Santa before i hope it turned out okay-

It's cold.

It's freezing cold.

It's the kind of cold that you can't seem to get rid of, no matter how many times you bundle on more layers, or toss and turn, trying to fall asleep.

The warehouse - one that they've used to store their mechs in the past - obviously doesn't come with separate rooms, like the monastery or the-

She squeezes her eyes shut - as if that simple motion will block out the memory that plays behind them.

"Nya- Nya, I'm so sorry-"

Her brother's hysterical voice echoes in the alleyway that they'd just stepped into, after mooring the boat they'd managed to scrounge up last-minute. She's kinda preoccupied with trying to check if any of the Sons of Garmadon have somehow followed them, but - well, Lloyd usually never lets these chaotic situations get to him. She doesn't want to think about why it's affecting him so much this time round - that the girl she'd told him to be himself around had never afforded him the same luxury.

"What happened?" she asks, her voice coming off more accusatory than she'd intended. Adrenaline and fear are never a good combination - but, gosh, this time they had been taken completely by surprise. "Where's everyone else? Why is-"

She cuts herself off, moving quietly through the back streets. Questions can come later, once they've gotten Lloyd to the safe house. Even though they were outnumbered way more than they'd thought, she’s not letting those stupid shark-faced bikers take him again.

Her brother follows behind, a hand on her shoulder. The rest of their friends must've hopped off the Bounty, she thinks to herself. Where could they all be now, though? Pixal had mentioned an old warehouse that she uses to store the Samurai X Mech in - another whole other thing that she really wasn’t gonna get into right now-

Lloyd winces, drawing in a breath sharply. His other hand is pressing on his chest, and the motion causes a pang of guilt to shoot through hers.

He was too drained and tired to fight-

How could we-

Why did we let him go in alone-

They're moving so quickly through the dark streets that she- she almost doesn't even hear him at first. Doesn't hear him struggling with how to give her the words that will shatter her world into tiny pieces - and then drive them through her heart.

"They're- they're-"

He keeps muttering to himself, clutching at his hair hysterically. She wants nothing more than to sit down with him, help pick up the pieces from where H- that monster had dropped them, and- gosh, tend to his injuries because he'd practically died today and doesn't even seem to be the slightest bit rattled.

She rubs her temples in exasperation. Of course, her brother wouldn't even give himself some self-care after practically freaking dying-

Well, she reflects, it's not like all of her brothers and her boyfriend don't share that mindset too. Stupid boys with no self-preservation instincts.

Once this whole mess with the Sons of Garmadon was over, they were definitely going to an arcade or something - even if she had to drag the five of them there.

Misako and Pixal had taken a different route earlier - a rather unnecessarily complicated one, but the aim was to confuse any members of that annoying biker gang who might be following them.

And although she was definitely capable of protecting Lloyd from any- of them; anyone who thought that they could outsmart her, she didn't have a lot of faith in their duo at the moment.

One of them practically on the verge of death, one of them exhausted to the point of considering just lying down on the street and sobbing hysterically? Great.

"Lloyd," she whispers, cursing the stupid streetlights that never seemed to work (why were the streets so freaking dark? What if they missed the inevitable ambush? What if-), "you okay?"

"Y- yeah," comes the shaky reply, Lloyd's voice at least an octave higher. He convinces neither of them.

Glancing furtively behind her, she realizes that his puffy eyes are coated in dull red, streaked against the white like raindrops running down a windowpane. Breathing in a series of what sounds like short gasps - sounds all wrong, she registers belatedly - he keeps running his hands through his hair in a sort of frenzied way that's so unlike her little brother-

She swallows, wanting nothing more than to find this lying, manipulative princess, and give a piece of her mind. How dare she- w- why-

"Once we get to the warehouse, we're gonna take care of our injuries, you're gonna tell me whatever you're comfy with, and then you're going to sleep. Not a request, lil' bro," she whispers shakily, turning around to squeeze his hand.

"I'm... I'm older than you," he replies, a weary tapestry of frayed threads. "Listen," he adds, voice too high again, "there's something-"

Then he takes a deep, shuddering breath, and covers his face - as if that can hide the agonized sobs tearing their way of it.

Nya rubs her arms, suddenly freezing cold.

It's not cold outside.

Lloyd-Lloyd never cries.

Never.

Not when he was trapped in an exploding volcano on the verge of an excruciating death - probably terrified as heck. Not when he faced his father on the opposite side of the battlefield, time and time again, not when he had to fight the freaking Overlord, not at Zane's funeral - when the snow falling lightly from the sky had felt far too wrong for such a sombre moment.

Not when his power was literally stolen from his heart, not when he watched his father disappear into a realm of no return - just when they'd started to fight on the same side. Not even when his uncle had vanished into the timestream, leaving behind a grieving nephew and the pieces of a half-broken team. Never.

She swallows a bout of nausea, her hands clutched together hard enough to hurt.

"I'm sure that you have nothing to be sorry for," she says firmly. "Once I give that loser princess a piece of my mind-"

"I- don't- you don't understand!" Lloyd replies hysterically. "She- she-" he breaks off, and Nya unsuccessfully strains to hear the rest of his sentence.

"Hey," she starts, swallowing. What was she even supposed to say in this situation? This was even worse than most of her nightmares - and she died in those, so that's saying something.

As much as Nya wants nothing more than to wrap her arms around him and never, ever let go, she’ll have to settle for gently rubbing his head, frowning as turns into the next street.

The Sons of Garmadon couldn't be far behind.

This time, she'd be better prepared.

She had to be.

"I would advice caution-"

Pixal breaks off as her friend throws another punch, their grey eyes steely with determination.

The plank of wood breaks in half and a couple more shards join the mess on the floor.

Nya wipes her brow, chest heaving as she reaches over for another plank.

"I would advise caution in that... endeavour," Pixal starts, a little louder. When her words ring out in the cold metal of the warehouse yet again, she puts a hand on her teammate's shoulder in what she hopes is a comforting gesture.

Nya's head whips around in surprise, eyes wide and plank raised - but she visibly deflates when she realizes that it's not an intruder. Pixal ignores the pang that shoots through her chest - both of them have been deeply affected by the loss of their friends, family, but Nya refuses to acknowledge that there was anything wrong, other than the Sons of Garmadon - who were currently terrorizing the city.

Well, she knew that that was a normal response to loss - she just hated feeling powerless. After- after Chen-

Almost involuntarily, her mind runs through a well-worn sequence of code. The memory dulls, fading to a blur of colours and too-bright light. It should be… instantaneous, she remembers thinking as she’d programmed the instructions.

She'd never really tried to program herself in that way before - to lock away bits of her code when each piece of it was supposedly vital.

Nya could probably help, she remembers thinking. Or her father. Or Zane. Anyone, really. Anyone who wasn't hiding away memories that they didn't quite know what to do with, messing with code that they didn't quite know how to fix.

Not quite sure if it could be fixed.

Pixal taps her fingers on her other hand irritably, sighing even as her processors all speed up as they did when she was faced with a threat.

Why did that one memory keep breaking through her carefully constructed code? She could, of course, calculate it out of existence - but wasting a piece of information just because a glitch lurked within her own mechanics? Endeavouring to fix it first... seemed like the most logical option…

Right?

"You should go to sleep," she says, slowly. "I do not mind patrolling the whole night - especially since I have m- the suit."

"Thanks, Pixal," comes the hesitant, weary reply. "But I think I'll stick with this - we've all gotta stay in shape, you know?"

Her mind runs through a dozen or so scenarios - to press the issue or ignore it?

"Nya," Pixal starts quietly, "we have all lost someone. You-"

"Yeah, I know!" Nya exclaims, eyes narrowed in anger. "Don't worry, I won't let you guys down again. I mean- I've been through worse," she spits, a brittle laugh punctuating the confession.

“Stupid djin,” she mutters to herself as she pulls her ponytail tighter - tight enough to hurt.

"FSM, Lloyd's the only family I've got left! If you think I'm going to let anyone take him from me again? You're sorely mistaken."

Something unfamiliar burrows its way into Pixal's chest - a heavy, dull sort of ache. Her eyes widen a little, but she decides that she does not quite like the... the- feeling. Perhaps more coding at a later stage could rid her of the virus, she supposes.

I know that it is not quite a virus, she thinks to herself wearily. But she is right not to consider me a part of their team. I only offer them technological aid, not assistance with matters of the heart.

Although I do so wish to do. Or at least... try to do so, difficult as it may be.

But she still feels a pang of sorrow for Nya, who had lost so many. Yet the other's anger stings - even though she knows that it is a common response to loss. A necessary one, arguably.

"Nya, listen. Please," she replies gently, placing a hand on the other girl's shoulder. "None of us think that you have let us down in any way. I was just going to mention that... that none of us think that you should not grieve, either."

"Grieve?" The other girl questions, practically aghast. She then puts a hand over her mouth as if she is trying to muffle her stilted laugher.

Pixal notices that the hand is trembling, shaking like the leaves in Ninjago City Park in the wintertime - yet Nya seems unaware of her own distress. She decides not to comment on it yet.

"Yeah, of course," Nya sighs, her arms shaking as she gestures wildly. "Gimme a second to go and ask the princess if she can stop attacking our city!”

The Water Ninja's words are punctuated with sobs, but she stubbornly ignores the tears dripping down her chin.

"Oh, and while she's at it, maybe she can bring the rest of us back from the dead! Doesn't she have all the Oni Masks?"

"I- I..." Pixal cuts herself off, realizing a second too late that she should not voice a legitimate answer to her teammate's question.

I would assume that the Oni Masks only seem to have the power to resurrect Oni, she doesn't say.

"What do you want me to do?" she asks instead - trying to sound genuine instead of judgmental.

If the surprised expression on the other girl's face is anything to go by, her eyebrows raised a few centimetres, she isn’t quite sure if she’s succeeded or not.

"What do you mean?" Nya asks, so quietly that Pixal has to reboot one of her old lip-reading programs from her stint at Borg Industries to make out the words. Her father had always tried to centre his programs around being more inclusive of those who were disadvantaged by their society’s unfortunate default, usually an exclusive one. A smile twitches at the corners of her mouth, tinged with a bit of melancholy.

“I mean…” she grapples for an answer, scenarios whirling through her head. “I mean that… I do not quite know what to do to help you.”

A silent nod. Caution and curiosity sparking in their eyes.

“I- I wish to try and help both of you,” she continues. “Losing Zane so soon after we had met was… not easy. I-“

“Gosh. Why does everyone always think I’m the weak one-“ she cuts herself off.

Her own anger bristles, just a little. Pixal frowns but elects to ignore it.

“Yeah, that… couldn’t have been easy. I’m sorry,” Nya adds, features softening. “You were saying?"

What was she trying to say?

The words do not come easily as they usually do, held back by a realization that is becoming all too familiar.

She just- she just doesn't know what to do!

Over the last few years, it had been easy to fall into a rhythm of questions and answers. Never daring to ask the former. Always supplying the latter.

She lacked the efficiency of Zane's old power source, of course - his father must have been a technological genius, she remembered musing when Zane had walked into Borg Industries for the first time. And she remembered wondering, too - why had he created an android so similar to humans? They would never be humans - they weren't meant to be! They could never feel emotion or contact the same way. Why try, then?

Well. The two of them had discussed this - feeling something was better than feeling nothing. The positive emotions were worth the negative ones. Humanity gave them a unique outlook on life (as opposed to other Nindroids, she supposed).

Thousands of logical reasons start to pile up. Trip over each other. Hum incessantly through her code - beckon her towards factual explanations so easily determined long ago.

Her hands curl into fists. Her arms shake.

Perhaps emotions enhanced their lives or brought valuable insight to situations painted in shades of grey, perhaps-

When she's not so overwhelmed - not so wrapped in anger, tight, hiding her eyes from the stars, she can deal with perhaps. Then, she can believe the logic that sings through every fibre of her being. Then, the puzzle pieces will click back into place without a hitch. Then-

Now is not then, she chides, and never will it be.

Emotions, they had their place - this she knew.

Y-yet...

Yet, as sobs ricochet through an empty warehouse, as a boy lies curled up in a corner - with a certain stiffness that could be attributed to injury, if not for the spiderwebs of red threaded through his eyes - as a family is ripped apart from the seams, thread cut so quickly that they can barely blink as the ground crumbles away, Pixal has never despised emotions quite so much.

"Is it empathy or acknowledgment? Or understanding? Or reassurance?" Pixal mutters, scenarios playing cautiously behind her eyes.

What does her friend need? she wonders, head spinning. What does she need, herself?

She runs the simulations. She observes. She learns; learns that-

She is clueless in each one.

"Why do you- you care?" Nya hisses, low and quiet, startling her from her thoughts. "I don't want any of this! Unless you can reverse the past, I don't think you can- fix me."

The last two words are laced with contempt, pooling like venom.

"I'm not trying to- to fix you," she replies, a bit curtly. Though she hates to admit it - hates to be anything less than the role model to the kids who'd yell "I wanna be just like you!" to a retreating figure, swords strapped to their back as their lips curved into a rueful smile - she's... irked.

Irked by the fact that humans are so- so, well, human!

Why were they unable to lock their emotions away like the two of them could? Why would their creator want them to be hurt by their own minds? Why would it ever be useful for them to hinder their own abilities? To hinder their ability to save others - and themselves?

Everything is not designed with optimal logic in mind, a small voice at the back of her mind points out.

"When have I ever given you that impression? Aren't friends supposed to help each other in times of need?"

"I don't need-"

"I know, that's not what I..." Pixal trails off. Her eyes flick towards the little - a twinge blossoms in her chest at the word (he's too young for this, she thinks, not for the first time today, not for the first time this year-) - green bundle curled up on the floor. She notes that his chest is slowly rising and falling, the bandage she'd wrapped around his arm unraveling a little, white trailing onto metal floor. And his face-

He looks serious, even while asleep, she realises sadly.

"Look," she whispers, gesturing to Lloyd, "do you want to go outside?" I do not want to wake him up.

Nya's eyes soften as she glances behind her. "Won't that just make us a bigger target?" Weary sarcasm bleeds its way into her voice.

"Possibly," she admits, chiding herself. It's not like me to be so illogical.

So she walks over to the furtherest corner of the warehouse - slowly, so that her feet don't clank on the floor; metal on metal. A bit of an oversight, she notes crossly.

Then-

Why is she cross? It's not something irreversible, and it pales in comparison to the number of feats she is able to accomplish with her skill set.

Nya leans back against the wall, one of her hands tracing something on the other. Back and forth, a finger moving across her palm - almost subconsciously.

"I apologise-"

"I'm really sorry-"

They stare at each other for a moment.

"You can go first-" Pixal says.

"No, you-" Nya says simultaneously, gesturing wildly.

Two beats of silence this time - a bit too long. A bit too uncomfortable; dredging up a bit too much.

"An advanced little robot like you, hmm? Is your head just a bunch of a squiggly cogs?" She isn't looking at him, hasn't been for as long as she can, but a shiver goes down her spine as he laughs. "It'd be fun to take you apart, wouldn't it now?" He claps his hands together excitedly - excitedly. "Into tiny little bits and pieces, just like a jigsaw puzzle. See how it all fits together! Now that'd be a blast, don't ya think?"

A hand rests on her shoulder, and she jerks forward so hard that the chair topples over.

Faces turn to light green; walls, to swirling purple. She sighs in relief as the memory sinks into black, and green, and purple - one last echo of that horrid laughter... then it's back to the suffocating stillness.

"I'll go first," Nya whispers, one of her hands still quickly - as if it is a familiar motion; well worn - tracing something on the other.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I just-" she reaches up to wipe her eyelids, as if willing the tears to stay put. "I-"

"Would you like a hug?"

"...y- yeah," comes the shaky reply.

Face pressing into her friend's shoulder, she can hear every time their breathing hitches. She hugs tighter, tighter, as if the physical pressure can somehow weld a heart that's missing- something none of them will get back.

"Uh, Pixal?" A gasp. "Cwant bweath-"

"Oh no, I'm sorry-"

"It's fine!" A half smile appears on Nya's face.

A second later, she schools her features back into a neutral expression. She bites her lip, a hand curling into a fist and pressing against her thigh.

"You were saying?" Pixal prompts gently.

"Yah, I just-" she blows out a puff of air, shoulders sagging, "I just keep- keep thinking I could've prevented this!

Which is silly, I know, because I'm not the one who caused any of this to happen! And I did the best I could! We all did! It's not like any of us were part of their crazy group- or knew how far they'd go just- just to get want they want! But-" she cuts herself off. From the corner of her eye, a tear streaks down her face.

"But our best wasn't enough."

Nya stares at her hands, as if she'd just noticed that she was tracing something on one of them.

Her eyes widen.

She chokes back a sob, arms trembling. "My best wasn't good enough."

"If not for me, they'd still- they'd still be-"

The cracks start to align.

"They'd still be alive," Nya whispers. Then, louder, "they'd still be alive if I could've just... just- just- done some- something!"

She draws in heaving breaths, gasping gasping clawing for air. Her fingers sweep her cheeks, over and over, even as her arms continue to shake. Tears drip onto the torn fabric of her gi.

"And-" Her lip wobbles, breaths hitching painfully. "And 'm s- s- sorry!" Nya gasps out. "'M so-" a breath, erratic and forced.

Her whispers fade to inhales and inhales; breaths that pull from the air almost greedily, like she can't get enough of the air - and-

And she probably can't, Pixal realises.

What if she chokes? Or seriously can't breathe enough-

And the oxygen levels in her brain decrease until heart functions fail, her brain supplies unhelpfully.

Not the time, she chides, almost out loud.

She rubs circles into her friend's back, slowly - trying not to think about the fact that this is the first time she's seen those bloodshot grey eyes filling with tears what can she do she doesn't know doesn't know-

"Nd- mmphf- I-"

Her code starts glitching again; vision pixelating.

Oh, great. All of this concern is overloading her processors.

"Are you alright?" Pixal whispers, still rubbing Nya's back. She's almost afraid to stop - afraid that if she does, she'll be doing nothing to help and what happens then what happens then she doesn't know-

"'M fine," comes the shaky reply. Nya inhales and exhales, tearstained cheeks puffing out, then going back to normal size. Her chest rises again. "I'm fine," she says quietly. "Thank you."

"It's fine," she replies on autopilot.

"And- uh- I do not know if this will change your mind, but I'd at least hope to try to, I mean, if I can-" Pixal winces.

"No matter what your thoughts say, it was not your fault that everything went down the way it did. The Sons of Garmadon are just horrible - and it's not any of our faults for failing to meet their insane amount of manpower, or- or failing to assume the worst of them-"

"Are we compatible now?"

She smiles, clasping his hand a little tighter. Sometimes she doesn't quite believe that he's still here - still whole.

"Yes," she giggles, as he rests his head on her shoulder. "We are."

Jay's laughter rings over the comms. "Come on, we're in the middle of a mission!"

"Oh, like the patrols you and Nya sign up for?" Kai shoots back.

Lloyd and Cole collectively sigh.

"Alloromantics," and she can practically hear Cole jokingly put his head in his hands. "I'll never understand 'em."

Her vision pixelates again, and the world goes blurry.

"In all honesty?" Her voice tight with pent-up anger, she narrows her eyes. "We have far too many threats to take on."

Nya gives a halfhearted shrug, as if to say 'it is what it is - I've accepted it, I guess'. But she dips her head in assent. Her gaze falls to the floor as she grits her teeth; lips pressed together tightly.

"Our limitations hold us back - not our will, never our will. We have too few ninja, not nearly enough communication with the police force-" her voice takes on a brittle tone. "And the few of us? We. Logically. Cannot be everywhere at once-"

"So, yeah," she says, quieter. "It's not your fault. It's not any of our faults. We did the best we can-" the world starts breaking into tiny, multicoloured squares. "But we were outnumbered, and, logically, we cannot fight them all."

Nya's shoulders slump, but she reaches over like she's going to imitate a hug - and then pats Pixal's arm awkwardly, stepping away. "I- I- thanks."

"I keep telling myself that," she whispers, rubbing furtively at her eyes. "But I can't seem to believe it, somehow."

"It's not like- like neither of us knew this would happen! It's not like we asked for this! But do either of us cut corners? Leave our roles unfulfilled?"

Her eyes narrow to slits.

"No. No, we don't."

"I just-" she stomps her feet, swallowing back a sob. "I- it's not fair-"

"It's not it's not it's not," Nya says fervently, voice hoarse, as she curls in on herself. "I-"

"I just want them back," she cries. She digs her fingernails into her palms, shaking. "I just- wanwt- hem-"

A dozen or so scenarios present themselves. Pix deliberates sorting through them all; taking notes and working towards what she hopes is the best approach - as she usually does.

But-

Screw it, she declares. Surprising herself, she hits pause on the scenarios for the first time since- the first time in a while.

"I'm sorry," she says quietly. "I don't know what do," she chokes out the confession like acid's burning up her throat, "because- because I don't think there is anything any of us can do."

She pulls her friend into a hug. "But I'll do anything I can to help the two of you," she says.

Light green eyes meet grey.

"I promise."

Nya pushes back the curls framing her face. Her hair's come loose, Pixal realises.

"Can I?" She lifts her wrist to show the hair ties she often wears on it.

"Sure," Nya replies. "Thank you."

A hand squeezes hers. "Not just for the hairdo."

"It's- it's fine."

A few moments later, it is not fine.

Clunky fingers, she notes, struggling to tie a simple ponytail. Another oversight, apparently.

Or...

"You have to do it like this," Cole insists, scribbling furiously.

"Nah, just go with the flow. If it's a bit weird looking, it's not like they'll notice-"

Lloyd swats at Kai with a purple travel pillow.

"That yours, Short Stack?"

"Jay hasn't noticed it's missing yet," Lloyd whispers, making a big show of holding his hand to Kai's ear.

Nya pulls her hair tie onto her wrist.

"Boys," she pretends to whisper. Kai pretends to be annoyed, rolling his eyes.

"Here, I'll show you. One," she pulls a few curls towards her face, separating them into three bunches of strands. "Two," she mutters, pulling the one on the right into the middle.

"And three!" Nya finishes triumphantly, the left strand now in the middle. "Then you just repeat it!"

Zane smiles. "Thank you." He pretends to pat her head.

"Oh, stop it," she laughs, giving him a hug.

"It's too hot for hugs," Kai groans.

"Dude," Nya says slowly. "Have you forgotten that your friend can literally create ice?"

"Ice is nice!" Jay exclaims, pitching his voice at least an octave higher.

Cole grins. Zane puts his head in his hands. Kai falls off the couch.

Lloyd sums up what they're all thinking.

"You look like Dorris Day!"

"TH- THANKS!" the whole room choruses, laughing.

Pixal watches with an ache in her chest.

A longing, for something more than what she's been lucky to enough to get.

She was lucky to enough to live, but not lucky enough to lift the cloak of invisibility that still hangs over her shoulders.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Titanium fingers deftly go through the motions, green eyes watching a grainy world of colour and squares.

The cloak's gone now.

She's Samurai X now.

They're not here to see it.

Nya shakes her head. "Oh - a plait?" She asks, reaching her hand back to check. "Thank you. I didn't know you could do those, though?"

To answer the question or ignore it?

"Well-" her vision starts to clear. "Well, you were the one to teach me."

A bittersweet smile comes to her face. "I never had a chance to thank you until now."

Nya looks confused for a moment.

Then, absolutely gut punched.

"O- oh. Oh, FSM. You were watching that day, weren't you? The day we got back from the cinema?"

Her eyes widen.

"FSM," she says slowly. She drags a hand down her face, eyes peeking out from the gaps between her fingers. "You were always there with us, weren't you?"

Pixal nods - not sure if she trusts herself to give a proper reply.

Nya reaches over to squeeze her hand again.

"I don't even know what to say," she mutters sadly. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I can't believe it slipped our minds so often, that- that-"

Out of sight, out of mind. An old expression her father sometimes used.

"That our team had seven members," she adds, eyes misty. "That- that I could've had sixbest friends, if I'd tried."

Nya's gaze sweeps across the empty warehouse - inches and inches of bare metal, a mech curled up in one corner and a boy in the other. Two fighting machines, Pixal thinks bitterly.

Grey eyes meet hers.

"We're all we've got left," Nya says. "We're all the city's got left."

"We will do th- everything we can," Pixal vows. "For the city-"

"And each other," Nya concludes fervently. She inhales, slowly.

Her voice is still thick with unshed tears, her arms still shake.

Pixal's processors keep overloading, her world becoming a startling mirage of colour and blocks every so often.

But she looks down to their clasped hands - one with bruised knuckles; an old scar in the middle of the palm. One with bits of metal poking out from the seams - one, cobbled together from bits and pieces that no one else wanted.

She looks down at their hands, and she sees. And she is seen.

They need to grieve. She knows this. She knows that Nya's confident stance doesn't hide the anger and sadness swirling in her friends irises; knows that Lloyd has many wounds that she cannot bandage.

But she is seen.

And she sees - I can't take away the sadness, or the anger, but I can try to help through it, a robot with white-blond hair realises.

Yet - it is not enough, merely to be seen. Merely to see.

For what is that without others to see you too? Without others for you to see?

But when Nya clings to her a little tighter, she doesn't let go.

When her friend promises Lloyd that she'll always protect him, Pixal bites her lip.

She pulls off the chains she'd shot at him. Later that day, she ruffles his hair. She offers similar words - completely unprepared for a sobbing boy to wrap his arms round her chest.

They all try - to listen, to offer tissues, hugs, to say that it's okay not to know, it's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel what you're feeling. That it's okay to grieve. To admit that they also hope they're going to come back, because hope hurts less than facing the reality.

They see.

And so does she.

---

Misako rattles the door handle as she

comes back from her shift of the patrol.

Seeing that Lloyd and Nya are asleep, her shoulders sag just a little. She sighs in relief.

Maybe it's just the paranoia talking, but she's always terrified that she'll come back to an empty warehouse one day. That she'll fail her child again; leave him behind in the name of protecting him.

That was a bad choice, she chides. This isn't. We have to ensure that we're not being followed. We have to keep the resistance alive, she repeats like a mantra. Maybe if she thinks it enough, it'll hurt a little less.

Noticing one member of their party missing, her gaze flits to Pixal welding pieces of her mech back together.

"I can take the next shift, too," she says quietly.

"I've got it," the girl replies - how did did even hear her from all the way across the warehouse? - brushing white hair from her eyes. Then- "Is there even a shift now? I thought we agreed that it's unlikely for the Sons of Garmadon to be on the streets at 3AM."

Is that what time is it? Heck.

"Yes, sorry," Misako replies. Of all the kids, Pixal's been the most withdrawn. She helps plan Lloyd's training schedule, braids Nya's hair and holds her hand and listens.

No, she's not withdrawn from the group. It's more like she's withdrawing herself from them - letting everyone talk to her about this horrid biker gang, but not talking to everyone else about the nightmare fuel things they've done.

She unties her hair, sighing.

Not for the first time during these few days, she deliberates asking the third kid to open up a little.

But-

Look at your son, a nasty little voice at the back of her mind hisses. If he's any indication that you're not good with kids-

"Shut up," Misako mutters.

She walks over to the Samurai X Mech.

"What are you doing?"

Light green eyes lift their gaze from the metal.

"Trying to improve some functions," Pixal replies. Her eyebrows crease. "Shouldn't you be asleep? It is, after all, 3AM."

"Can't really sleep. But what about you?"

"I don't need sleep," she replies, a half-smile on her face. "Do you want to talk about whatever's bothering you?"

This isn't the first offer.

The irony, she thinks sadly.

She won't admit it - not to her kids, not to herself - but she's worried. Worried about the girl who spent half an hour unable to see and then brushed it off as unimportant. Worried about the other kid with green eyes - the one whose heart isn't so visibly worn as her son's is. The warrior who'd once thrown a man through a building on live TV.

"I'm good, thank you. And you?"

Almost as if on autopilot, Pixal echoes Misako's answer.

Maybe it would be better if this kid wore their heart on their sleeve a little more.

"Well, I'm not an engineer - but I took a couple courses in uni. Can I help you with anything?"

"Sure!" A bit of a spark appears in the girl's eyes. "So, I'm trying to make the right arm move smoother - also, do you think it'd be better to..."

An hour or so later, Misako's pretty sure she has grease in her hair - but the mech doesn't look too worse for the wear.

"Thanks for letting me help," she says, smiling. "Even if I almost caused the jetpack's fuel to explode."

"Zane did the same thing," Pixal replies, without thinking - and then a shadow falls over her face.

Misako puts her hand on the girl's shoulder. "Goodnight-"

Quicker than she'd have thought possible from anyone, even a robot, Pixal jerks forward like she's been punched. Breathing heavily, the girl places her hands over her eyes and moans.

Frozen, Misako stands ramrod still with shock for a moment. "Are you alright?" she asks gently.

Slowly backing away, Pixal stumbles over the arm of her a mech. She doesn't even try to break her fall, instead drawing her legs to her chest.

"Please," she cries, rocking forwards and backwards. "Please, I'll tell you anything you want to know, just don't-"

The light green of Pixal's eyes flickers in and out as she screams.

Misako's blood practically runs cold.

Not again, is all she can think as she walks closer - not too close, never too close. Not again. Not again.

"Can you hear me?"

She repeats the question a minute later, each second sending a twinge of pain through her skull. Not again. Not again. Not again.

It seems like an eternity before the other girl shakily nods her head.

"You're in Ninjago City," Misako says, trying not to let her concern find its way into her voice. "It's 2018. You're in a warehouse with Nya, Lloyd and I. You're safe. You're safe."

"Okay," Pixal replies. "Thank you."

"Can you see?" Misako asks gently.

A few seconds pass. "Not really," Pixal admits, so softly that Misako has to strain to hear her.

"Do you know why? Can I help?"

"Yes, no. It'll pass soon, thank you."

"Can I hold your hand?"

Pixal's eyes start to blink in and out, like a traffic light. She'd laugh if they were in any other situation - anything but this. Not again.

"Yes," she says after a minute. "But-"

"Yes?"

"But please don't touch my shoulders."

"You got it," Misako replies, her voice measured. But a shiver goes down her spine all the same. Pixal's, what- fifteen? Any age is horrible, but- fifteen-

Her eyes are starting to go bloodshot, but she refuses to let any tears fall. She's the adult here - the only adult here. They're meant to come to her for help, not the other way around.

After about half an hour of anxious thoughts (not paranoia, not this time - is that better or worse? Not better, she thinks, wiping a tear from her cheek, because now there's evidence for her anxiety to feed on and that's a million times worse, there shouldn't be bits of truth in this story-), Pixal's eyes stop flashing and go back to normal. She takes in the room quickly, seemingly startled to find Misako sitting a meter away from her.

"You should have gone to sleep - it's late. But..." the girl trails off. "Thank you so much. I didn't know the- that could be helped like that. I appreciate it."

"Anytime," Misako says slowly. "But what exactly was that?" She holds up a hand. "You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to, but..." she bites her lip, adding, "but it might help."

"I'm fine," comes the reply, a little curt. "Thank you, though."

"No, you're not."

Misako's not sure who's more surprised by the words - her, or Pixal.

You've made your bed, now lie in it.

"I don't know what you're going through," she starts, swallowing, "not exactly. But I have an idea. And that's not easy to go through, whatever it is that you're dealing with." She presses a hand to her face to keep the tears from falling. "But I'm always here if you want to talk about it."

"I-"

Pixal cuts herself off.

At first, it looks like she's going to politely decline the offer. She opens her mouth and starts the same autopilot reply; Misako's heart sinks.

But then she cuts herself off again.

"No," she mutters to herself. "Screw it. Apparently I'm not good enough at coding to do this one simple thing, so this can't hurt, can it?"

"You- you won't tell Lloyd? Or Nya?" Pixal twists her fingers back and forth nervously.

"You have my word."

The next hour turns out to be one of the most horrifying of Misako's life.

Pixal talks - casually, far too casually - of a prison cell, and a man who- who- who had spun a wheel to see which limbs of hers he was going to smash. A man who'd made her watch as he threatened to kill her lover if she didn't cooperate with his demands. A man who started a war - for fun.

A man who smashed her body limb from limb, and left the pieces for her lover to find.

"And sometimes- I mean- I don't know, it sounds stupid," Pixal mutters. "But sometimes I feel like he took so much more from me than just an- and exoskeleton," her voice cracks, "and some metal."

"My entire identity became 'the girl in Zane's head'," she says, shaking. "And I'm glad that I got to live, because I would never... have made it out of that cell otherwise."

"But I could- couldn't even talk!" she cries, raising her hands to her face again. "I. Couldn't. Even. Talk."

"And Zane would try and relay what I was saying, at first, but it got so confusing and it eventually just fizzled out."

Her bright green eyes fade out, then turn back on. Pixal winces.

"I just- so many opportunities," she says sadly, her fingers curled into fists. "I never had any friends, and when the nightmares came back I-"

Breathing heavily, she holds out a hand to Misako. The latter takes it, a little confused. "And I didn't know what to do, and- and when Zane was hacked and Nya- the power core- and I was all alone again and- this time I really was alone and- mech- at least no one can-"

Pixal sounds like she's on the verge of a panic attack.

"Hey," Misako starts gently, "can you breathe in for four seconds?"

They talk well into the sunrise - Pixal learning that her supposed 'glitch' was not a problem that she'd failed to fix, her eyes going completely blank at the realisation.

"Can you see?" Misako has asked.

"Yes," she whispers, as if in disbelief. She reaches a hand tentatively forward. "I- I can see, everything's blurry but I can see-"

Misako learns that the snake who blackmailed her husband for so many years; the man who provoked bloodshed and war and countless other atrocities - she learns that he's in the Departed Realm, now.

Morro is there too. Maybe they'll finish each other off, she thinks bitterly.

She still wants to punch something, but she'll rest a bit easier knowing that Chen spent a fair amount of time rotting in the Cursed Realm. It's a shame Nya had fo destroy it, she thinks. Some people deserve to be there.

Pixal sees others, yes.

Yet, as the sun rises -

She is seen.

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