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goldenavenger02 · 5 days

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old habits die screaming

There was a time that Kai thought time healed all wounds, but as he was forced to watch Lloyd be haunted by incoherent visions the same way he had been haunted by a vengeful ghost, he was starting to think that time just changed the way wounds looked.

"Stop touching it!" Wyldfyre's yell ricocheted off of the walls of the infirmary as she tried to pull her injured leg away from Kai's prodding hands.

Kai just pulled in another deep breath, his anger threatening to bubble to the surface; he knew by the way she was trying to pull away from him and her shouting was a pain response that was very similar to his own but it wasn't Wyldfyre that he was mad at.

No, his anger was directed at Ras, at the new master of smoke and that weird girl he didn't recognize. There was that small part of him that always blamed the First Spinjitzu Master for starting this entire mess, but he wasn't sure that was where the blame needed to go this time.

This seemed disconnected from Ninjago and much more connected to the Wyldness, a place that no one except for Wyldfyre knew anything about and even then, she only seemed to understand the area of it where she had grown up.

Even if she knew about every inch of the vast expanse, it was not the time to question her about it with just how mangled her leg was.

"I'm trying to help, Wyldfyre," Kai finally responded after another attempt at a kick that had her hissing through clenched teeth, "but Nya, Sora and Frohickey are still working on repairing Zane, so I can't do much."

"You can stop touching it."

Kai let go to turn to the cabinets and grab one of the ice packs, snapping it before handing it to Wyldfyre who instinctively put it against her injured leg, "that's gonna be cold for about half an hour, Zane should be fully repaired by then and he can patch you up."

"You're not staying?"

"You're not the only one who needs to lay down for awhile," his thoughts drifted to Lloyd briefly who had spent the last couple of weeks wandering the monastery in a insomnia induced daze and was more then likely beating himself up somewhere, "and Nya's gonna need an extra set of eyes going through Master Wu's notes to see if we can find anything about Shatterspin or The Forbidden Five. You should get some rest."

"Fine, but I'm not gonna be happy about it."

"I don't expect you to be. I'll be back in a couple of hours, okay?"

She nodded, giving him his chance to go take care of the next item on his list of priorities.

As he went, he couldn't stop his mind from flashing back to The Dark Island, forced to listen as Zane's father did his best to repair Lloyd's broken bones the same way he had repaired the falcon.

How Lloyd hobbled on one foot and still acted as the motivation for the team as they desperately looked for a way to return to and defend Ninjago, even if there were pain lines around his lips with every deep breath he pulled in.

Kai wasn't sure how he expected to find Lloyd after their retreat, but it wasn't opening the door to his bedroom to find him sitting on the end of his bed, hands pressed against his eyes and elbows pressed against his thighs while his shoulders shook.

"Hey, buddy?" He asked, shutting the door as quietly as possible, "are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, yeah," Lloyd's sudden shift as he stood, only stopping to wipe his face on his sleeve before Kai was met with the all too familiar fake smile that he had grown used to seeing, "I'm fine."

"Are you su-"

"How'd Wyldfyre?"

"Her leg is pretty bad, it's gonna take her awhile to heal," he delivered it as straightforward as he could, but when he saw the familiar look of guilt pass over Lloyd's face, he found himself adding, "but if she takes it easy, she should be back on her feet sooner rather than later."

"Did anyone else get hurt?" He refused to meet his eyes as his green-eyed gaze stayed fixed on the wooden floor.

"Nya and Frohickey are repairing Zane, but considering he was saying real words in real sentences, I'm sure it's not gonna take too long. Sora, Riyu and Arin are all in the clear as well, I checked them over myself."

"Good, good…" Lloyd muttered, running a hand through his hair as he moved to the door, but Kai found himself gently clasping his hand around his wrist to look into the all too tired green eyes.

"Are you hurt?"

"I gotta figure out what we're gonna do next, Euphrasia got captured and I think I need to meditate-"

"But are you hurt?"

Kai should have known that the familiar duck of his head in defeat was coming, but Lloyd's response was laced with tears in a way that made his chest burn with more than the underlying anger he had been feeling since they had been defeated.

"I'm not the one everyone should be worried about right now."

"Hate to break it to you, buddy, but we've been worried about you for weeks."

He had said those exact words before, the last time Lloyd was unable to sleep for more than twenty four hours; there was a time that Kai thought time healed all wounds, but as he was forced to watch Lloyd be haunted by incoherent visions the same way he had been haunted by a ghost, he was starting to think that time just changed the way wounds looked.

Lloyd pulled away from Kai's gentle grip on his wrist before turning around and sitting back down on the edge of his bed, fiddling with the edge of the blanket as he spoke, "I'm not hiding it very well, huh?"

"No, you're not," Kai agreed and was met with another sigh, "I think you should let me in on what's going on here, because if it's scaring you this badly…" he trailed off, his mind briefly trailing off to the various villains who had held a vendetta against Lloyd, ones that were arguably worse then Ras even though he had a master of shatterspin on his side.

"It's not Ras that I'm worried about. I've fought worse than Ras, but…" he stopped, his fingers twisting around the blanket, "But in Cloud Kingdom, when he brought out that gong…I have been hearing that noise rattle in my head for weeks and as soon as I heard it, I realized that no matter what I do, I can't stop it. The Blood Moon is coming, Ras has control of Cloud Kingdom and all I did was get Wyldfyre and Zane hurt."

His breath caught in his throat and Kai took a few steps forward before kneeling down on the floor so he and Lloyd were eye to tear-filled eye.

"I know it's nearly impossible to keep you from blaming yourself, especially now that you're taking on so much and with these weird visions, but what happened in Cloud Kingdom was not on you and if we hadn't retreated when we did, things would be a whole lot worse."

"You can thank Nya for that," Lloyd reached up and wiped his face on his sleeve again, "she was the one who told me to retreat."

"I probably should," Kai offered a quick smile before standing, wincing as his knees popped when he did, "ready to tell me how badly you got injured now?"

"It's really not that b-"

"Humor me, Lloyd."

He was met with a sigh before the green fabric covering his left wrist was pulled up to reveal a purply-green mess of bruising.

"It's not broken, I already made sure of that."

"Okay, I'm gonna get you an ice pack," Kai said, patting Lloyd's shoulder a couple times before turning towards the door, "and then you are gonna lay down and do your best to take a nap."

"But the visions-"

"I said "do your best", didn't I?" He watched Lloyd slump in defeat before he reached over and set his hand on his hand back on his shoulder, "I understand that you're scared, but you're wearing thin and if we're gonna stop these guys, we all have to be on our A game."

"I'm really trying."

"I know you are, but you have to get some rest before you break. Okay?"

"Okay."

Lloyd's voice was nothing but a resigned whisper as he maneuvered onto his back and covered his eyes with his right wrist, but as much as he wanted to, Kai couldn't linger on it and settled on running a gentle hand through his hair.

"Be right back with the ice."

The silent thumbs up was his signal to go get the ice and then figure out a way to deal with the anger that was still bubbling up inside of his chest.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #my writing #angst #fic #lloyd garmadon #whump #ninjago kai #dragons rising wyldfyre #dragons rising season 2 #spoilers dragons rising season 2 #nightmares #sleep deprivation #broken bones

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goldenavenger02 · 5 days

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im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

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goldenavenger02 · 5 days

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Clara Bow by Taylor Swift...big feelings

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ttpd #clara bow #taylor swift #photo edit #dragons rising #the first spinjitzu master #master wu #lloyd garmadon #ninjago arin

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goldenavenger02 · 5 days

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goldenavenger02 · 7 days

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I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship

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goldenavenger02 · 7 days

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summer sun for you forever

For @badthingshappenbingo. Prompt: fevers

Azula had disappeared into darkness. Aang saved the kids of the Fire Nation. Kiyi and Ursa were finally getting along again. But, things seemingly never worked out for Zuko.

"Zuzu?"

Zuko wasn't sure when he had finally given up on the paperwork and gone to bed, but given the lack of sunlight streaming through the windows, it was not long enough for it to be considered an usual amount of sleep.

That was before he factored in the fact that most of the Fire Nation no longer wanted him off of the throne, the scratchiness in his throat that had started the night before and Kiyi pushing on his bicep to wake him up.

Again.

"Zuzu. Are you awake?"

"No, I'm sleeping. Like you should be."

"You're talking, so you're awake," she argued while crawling over so she was in her face, "I heard you coughing."

"I wasn't-" he sat up, only for the scratchiness to go over the edge, sending him doubling over as the coughs made his chest burn.

When he finally caught his breath, he was met with a raised eyebrow from Kiyi that she had definitely picked up from either Sokka or Katara but the persistent exhaustion made it impossible to ask as he laid back down on the uncomfortably warm pillows.

"Do you want me to get mommy? She's really good at helping people feel better."

Right. Kiyi was here, which meant that his mother was asleep in the palace and unaware of any of this; he swallowed down the scratchiness and shook his head, "she needs to sleep, Kiyi. So do you."

"But you're sick."

"Come on," he sat up, coughing a few times into his elbow before offering his other hand to her, "let's get you back in bed."

"But what if 'zula comes back? I don't wanna go with her." Kiyi shook her head as she stamped her foot on the ground in defiance with her arms crossed.

He couldn't bring himself to argue with her, unsurprised that she had become a monster in Kiyi's closet; it had only been a few days since Azula had fled into the woods after kidnapping the majority of the fire nation children.

Their mother hadn't let her sleep in her own bed the night after they got her back and was visibly on edge after she or Ikem would put Kiyi to bed. Zuko had even found himself peeking into her room at night to make sure she was still there.

"Azula is not coming back, Kiyi," Zuko assured her as he stood up, holding onto the bed frame for a moment as the world spun around him, before holding his hand back out to her, "and even if she did, everyone is keeping an eye out. She wouldn't be able to get to you, I promise."

"Okay," she admitted defeat and pressed her small palm into his, allowing him to lead her back to her room, "are you gonna tell Mommy? That you're sick?"

And that question penetrated right through Zuko's foggy mind, because he wasn't sure; he hadn't been taken care of by his mother since he was a child, since before Lu Ten had died and even though a small part of him so desperately craved that comfort, it had been years.

"I'm gonna go back to sleep," he decided as he lifted Kiyi into her bed before tucking her in and stopping himself from kissing her forehead, "you should too. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night, Zuzu." She yawned, rubbing her eyes as she laid down.

"Good night, Kiyi." He whispered back and took a quick glance over the room, just to be sure, before making his way back to his room on shaking legs with the hope of getting another few hours of sleep.

…

When he awoke again to the sun shining through his windows and onto his face, everything felt worse.

The scratchiness in Zuko's throat had elevated to a swollen ache, the cough felt heavy in his lungs and sitting up felt like an impossible chore due to the pounding in his temples; there was no denying it, he was sick and it was bad.

The last time he had been nearly this sick had been in Ba Sing Se, but he highly doubted that this was another war of the mind given the lack of nightmares involving dragons and Air Nomad tattoos.

So, despite the throbbing in his head, he pulled himself to his feet and slowly changed into his royal robes while hoping that there wasn't a heavy workload for him to attend to today.

After tying his hair up with the crown pushed into the hairbow, despite the top knot adding to the pressure in his head, he made his way to the dining room.

What he wasn't expecting as he walked in was such a tight hug from Kiyi around his legs that he nearly fell over before she looked up at him and said, "I told mommy that you were sick."

Zuko kept his hand on Kiyi's back as his mother approached slowly and rested her hand against his scarred cheek, his back going ridgid at the touch while she brushed a few stray hairs away from his eyes before resting her hand on his shoulder.

"Kiyi wasn't kidding. You're feverish, Zuko."

"Why would I make that up?" Kiyi questioned, finally letting go of his wobbly legs to raise an eyebrow at Ursa, the same way she had at him last night.

"Finish your breakfast, sweetheart," Ursa insisted, reaching down to run a few fingers through her hair before turning back to him, "you should lay back down."

" 'm busy, mom," he managed to choke out, his voice much hoarser than he expected, "Fire Lord stuff."

"I see," Ursa nodded, her hand still lingering on his shoulder as she turned to face one of his advisors, "Lin, can you rearrange the Fire Lord's schedule so it is only essential and urgent matters for the next few days? It would be in the best interest of the Fire Nation if my son spent some time in the infirmary."

"Mom-" Zuko started, only for his chest to rebel and send him into another coughing fit that left his vision spinning.

"I think the basis for my case was just made by the Fire Lord himself."

"Very well, Lady Ursa." Lin bowed in their direction before exiting through the other doorway in the large dining room.

With the way Kiyi was proudly showing off her trick of tossing sliced strawberries in the air and catching them in her mouth with Noren's attention on her, Zuko knew that there was no other option then defeat as his mother rested her hand on his upper back and gently nudged him toward the palace infirmary.

"Let's get you taken care of."

…

Ursa hadn't been back in the Fire Nation for a full month and Zuko had already fallen ill.

Admittedly, she wasn't that surprised; her son had always been more sickly than Azula, seemingly catching every single virus that made its way into the walls of the palace.

However, her hands still hadn't returned to a normal warmth from one of her daughters kidnapping the other and that was before Kiyi had woken her up by jumping on her bed and proclaiming, "Hi, mommy, Zuzu's sick."

Which led her to where she was now, gently taking down her son's top knot in his bedroom, after their visit to the infirmary, while he shivered under her touch.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." She murmured as she laid the crown on the table before gently holding onto his arm as he maneuvered onto his back.

"Not your fault," he insisted, his hoarse voice cracking as he rested his hot cheeks onto the pillow, "Kiyi was just trying to help."

"I know she was, she cares a lot about her big brother."

There was a brief smile on his lips, although it looked more like a grimace, before his eyes fluttered shut and his breathing, despite being tinged with a wheeze, evened out.

The court physician had been confident in Zuko's recovery, which helped some of Ursa's fear ebb away, but the damp cloth that she used to wipe the sweat from her son's forehead was just as cold as her palms.

He hadn't been asleep for more than a few minutes when there was a soft knock on the wooden door, one that could only belong to her daughter; Ursa folded the cloth and rested it on her son's forehead before making her way to the door and opening it.

"I wanna see Zuzu."

"Kiyi, he needs to rest," Ursa insisted, kneeling down so she was eye to eye with her, "he's sick, remember?"

"Can I help?"

And with brown eyes full of a mix of worry and pleading, Ursa couldn't help but relent; she knew that in doing so, she increased Kiyi's chances of contracting the same illness but at the same time she was aware of just how close the two of them had grown in the few months of knowing each other.

"You have to let him sleep, okay?"

She nodded without any sort of rebuttal and reached up for Ursa.

She picked her daughter up before returning to Zuko's bedside and used the cloth to wipe away the buildup of sweat that had gathered in her brief absence.

A coughing fit broke through the silence, making Kiyi flinch back against her chest, but Ursa just held onto her tightly while reaching over to firmly rub his back so his lungs could work out some of the congestion.

"Is he gonna be okay, mommy?" Kiyi whispered, her hands wrapped tightly in the fabric of her dress.

"The doctor said he will be," Ursa assured, trying to force herself to believe the words despite how much every single wheeze made her hands grow colder and colder, "it might take a few days though, for him to feel better."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Maybe Katara can help, with her water bending."

She wasn't sure how her daughter had thought of sending for the powerful member of the Southern Water Tribe, the same teenager who was part of the small group of Zuko's friend group that included the Avatar himself, but all she could do was wonder why she hadn't thought of it first.

"That's a very good idea, Kiyi," Ursa praised before turning to the guard that was stationed outside of the door, "Tao? Can you send for Master Katara?"

"Of course, Lady Ursa."

…

Zuko's head was pounding when he woke up to the all too familiar cold hovering over his chest, the confirmation that Katara was trying to heal him; from what, he couldn't remember until he blinked a few times only to feel a flare of pain in his raw, inflamed throat.

"Do you have a six of earth?"

"Go fish!"

"Ugh," he heard Aang groan before pleading, "can we please play something else?"

"We can try Pai Sho again."

Zuko blinked and looked upwards.

"Hey there," Katara greeted softly with her water-covered hands still hovering over his chest, "welcome back to the land of the living."

He tried to speak, but throat was stinging and his lungs constricted into a coughing fit that filled his eyes with tears from the burning in his chest as it forced him to sit up.

"Easy, easy," Katara's voice broke through the sound of the coughs wracking his body as she held him upright and a now dry hand firmly pat his back, "try and breathe, Zuko."

And given how hard he was coughing, he would argue that he did try his best to breathe, but it was only when the coughing fit started to subside that he could finally pull a substantial amount of oxygen into his lungs.

"Here," Kiyi's voice cut through his deep breaths, forcing him to turn his head to see her holding a glass of water, "Mommy said you had to drink something when you woke up."

He took the glass in his shaking hand and started sipping at the cold water, letting it temporarily sooth the stinging in his throat before letting his questioning about why Katara and Aang were there allow itself to be visible on his face.

"Your mother sent for me, asking if I could heal you. Given the coughing fit, though, you can see how well that's going."

"Also, Kiyi cheats at Go Fish," Aang added as he showed his face from behind Katara, "and she's really good at Pai Sho."

"I don't cheat!" Kiyi shouted with her hands on her hips, making his head throb, "and Uncle Iroh taught me how to play, he said I'm better than Zuzu at board games."

"Because you have the patience for-" Zuko retorted, but his chest rebelled again and made him cough again, forcing him to sip at the water once again as the burning spread through his lungs.

"Maybe you should stop talking." Katara suggested as she took the empty glass from him and set it on the bedside table before gently pressing him back down onto the pillows.

Zuko nodded, his eyelids already growing heavy again as the familiar cold of healing covered his forehead.

"Can I help?"

Zuko opened his right eye to see Kiyi making eye contact with him, unable to hold back his response with a smirk. "Did you become a waterbender recently?"

"No, I'm a firebender, silly," despite how awful he felt, his little sister's smile was infectious as she climbed up onto the bed, "and that means I'm super warm."

With that, she promptly leaned against him with her head against his collarbone and wrapped her arms around his left side; she wasn't wrong about being warm, it was a common fact about all firebenders.

But due to the fever that was wreaking havoc on him, he couldn't help but relish in the warmth and hold her closer as the cold water once again covered his aching head.

"Go to sleep, Zuzu. We can take care of you."

He didn't have the energy to fight against her statement and let his eyes flutter shut once again, taking in the comforting sound of her steady breathing beside him, allowing himself to feel safe in her presence.

#my writing #fic #avatar #atla #post smoke and shadow #comic complacent #fire lord #fire lord zuko #ursa #ursa atla #kiyi atla #aang #katara #kataang #sickfic #bad things happen bingo #fevers

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goldenavenger02 · 7 days

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I need

'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit They said, baby, gotta fake it 'til you make it and I did Lights, camera, bitch smile, even when you wanna die He said he'd love me all his life But that life was too short Breaking down, I hit the floor All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "More" I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks 'Cause I can do it with a broken heart

Tattooed on my body

#susz speaks #taylor swift #i can do it with a broken heart #the tortured poets department #ttdp #ts11

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goldenavenger02 · 9 days

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government is trying to ban tiktok meanwhile millions of poor and disabled americans are about to completely lose their internet access at the end of april because congress wont renew funding for the affordable connectivity program

hell fucking world

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goldenavenger02 · 9 days

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real image of me trying to link all the songs on TTPD to fictional characters

#susz speaks #ttpd #the tortured poets department #taylor swift #ts11

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goldenavenger02 · 10 days

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happy birthday to weed

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goldenavenger02 · 10 days

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I WAS RIGHT ABOUT TTPD BEING MISAKO CODED I DON'T HAVE TO EAT MY WORDS I WIN EVERYBODY

What Taylor swift album do you think each of the ninja are? I feel like Jay could be Lover. Maybe 1989 for Skylor. What do you think?

As someone who has been casually listening to Taylor since before Ninjago came out thanks to my oldest sister and became an actual Swiftie in 2017 with the release of Reputation (not being able to use that verified ticketmaster fan slip that came with my cd because Christmas was a month after it expired and my mom had no idea it was in there is my ACTUAL roman empire), I have thought about this a lot.

A couple of these ARE interchangeable (Lloyd, you are an enigma to me) but this is USUALLY what I end up falling on.

The Tortured Poet's Department: I know it's not out yet, but based on the vibes, the few lyrics we've seen, the fact that it's probably going to be in the vein of folklore and evermore and the whole message of the album (finally being free after years and years trapped and unhappy), I really think it's going to fit Misako. POSSIBLY Garmadon, but that's my prediction and I'm fully prepared to eat my words.

Midnights: This is one of my top 3 albums (it and Speak Now are constantly fighting for that number 3 spot) and because of how it encapsulates all of the eras/it being about things that she wanted to elaborate on from her past, I feel like it fits all of the characters to an extent. That being said, it feels very Wu coded to me (even if YOYOK is THE Cole song at the end of the day)

evermore/folklore: because evermore are the songs that kept coming from Taylor after folklore, I consider them very similar in tone/vibe and therefore are grouping them as one. folklore is my favorite Taylor album to date and it means so much to me as both a person and as a writer (I can only hope to write something as meaningful as My Tears Ricochet) and these albums are the Nya albums. I know that's unpopular, people tend to see her as Reputation or Speak Now and I fully understand those comparisons but these albums not only have the infamous love triangle saga between Betty and August fighting over James, as well as Mad Woman, The Last Great American Dynasty and No Body, No Crime which are some of my favorite songs about female rage but those albums are so vulnerable in a way that the others aren't.

Lover; oh Lover, the album that people see as the silly, happy, fun album but if they scratch under the surface find the deeper meaning about being scared of losing the one person that is your true love in The Archer, Afterglow and Cornelia Street. This is the first album that I managed to decide what character from Ninjago it fit and that is Jay Walker, my beloved.

Reputation: This album has the baddest bitch anthem in I Did Something Bad but this album also has some of the sweetest love songs I've ever heard in my life. It's so Skylor, everybody. You cannot tell me "I want to wear his initial on a chain around my neck/not because he owns me but because he really knows me" is not Kailor coded.

1989: this album is the Cole album, I take no notes on that one.

Red: NO, I'M NOT MAKING THAT COMPARISON. Red is NOT the Kai album, this is arguably the SADDEST album in Taylor's discography and despite his color being Red, that doesn't mean Kai fits Red! Now that I have THAT out of the way (sorry, TikTok pisses me off with that comparison), Red is the Lloyd album. Yes, it has those few happy moments (Starlight, State of Grace, Treacherous) but most of the album is CLOUDED by this heartbreak from All Too Well, Forever Winter, The Moment I Knew. And The Lucky One is so, so, so Lloyd & Arin coded.

Speak Now: *throws Harumi at you and runs away to grab Garmadon as well before sprinting out of the room to avoid getting asked questions while yelling* I can't pick, sorry!

Fearless; this album is so Kai coded, you cannot tell me otherwise. I can't tell you WHY it is that way, but it is (despite my anger about the "Kai is Red coded" meme, I am willing to switch Lloyd and Kai if someone can prove it to me.)

And finally, Taylor Swift/Debut: I will admit, I HARDLY listen to this album. I'll probably grow a deeper love/understanding for it when the rerecording comes out but as of now, it's my LEAST listened to album of hers but from the songs I do listen to (Our Song, Tied Together With a Smile and A Place In This World) It really does give me Zane vibes (although I also think it gives PIXAL vibes because those two are really parallels of each other) but, I don't listen to the full album so I'm willing to change my mind.

Anyway, this got very long but I have a lot of opinions on both Ninjago and Taylor's music so you DID kinda ask for it, anon.

#lego ninjago #ninjago #taylor swift #misako montgomery garmadon #ninjago misako #the tortured poets department #ts ttpd

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