#Now I have regular friendships too - even deep ones - and they're nothing like that was | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

formulatrash · 1 year

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f1 shipping gets kind of weird for me to begin with. i have seen people get into HEATED arguments about which ship is better and every time i just think people understand these ships aren't real right? half of these men are publicly in romantic relationships with women. there are a few who go out of their ways to say they won't do certain, really just regular activities that platonic friends could do together, with other men because they don't want to be perceived as gay. and i don't really fault them for that because i see how cruel fans are when drivers show they're accepting and inclusive by voluntarily wearing rainbow symbols or just simply saying they believe in equality, love is love, etc., but idk there's still something so gross about usually straight fans telling me certain drivers are like icons and activists for the LGBTQ+ community due to simply having a PR "relationship" or close friendship with other drivers on the grid. i love a nice sportsmanship moment or genuine friendship moment as much as the next fan, but that isn't "activism." that's doing NOTHING to address or prevent the abuse LGBTQ+ fans receive, especially in f1 spaces, both online and at races.

also idk i hate how every time teams or f1 themselves try to push these ships and bromances, the comments usually range from hateful and discriminatory to outdated stereotypes. and those harmful comments are NEVER deleted by admins. like, okay, cool, that's a really cute carlando or yukierre or whatever photo f1 or mclaren or ferrari or alphatauri has posted, but this does NOTHING for making me feel more accepted when a) it's fictional. it's friendships, some maybe closer than others, but it's not really LGBTQ+ representation. (at least not outwardly. i am not trying to assume anyone's sexual orientation here either, but none of these relationships have been confirmed real, and frankly, i don't think teams would be as open to publicizing these relationships like this if they were real romantic relationships, like some fans believe, due to drawback from homophobic fans, sponsors, etc.). b) how is this supposed to make anyone feel welcome and accepted when half the comments are like "who's the man and who's the woman in that relationship?" (something i fucking hate being asked myself. if i wanted a man in my relationship, i would just fucking be with a man).

idek if this makes sense or if i really even made the point i was trying to make but it bothers me too.

a lot here so, idk, apologies if I don't quite answer it all but I will give a try.

shipping wars in general are pretty weird to me, especially that something that feels so antique (like, Yahoo Groups-era internet) is going stronger than ever today.

that said, I think people who are completely aware it's fiction having some blorbos they like thinking about is also completely harmless. for a lot of people shipping whatever is a source of joy and play and to some extent companionship and it can create lots of good things. humans are meant to think things through by playing and sometimes dressing up the dolls you're doing that with in, I don't know, Star Trek uniforms or F1 racesuits or whatever is just the blorbo seasoning of the week.

it would absolutely nuke my brain to read. uhm, idk, I just looked in the F1 tag and pretty much anything in there as far as I can tell but I think it's fundamentally harmless as something people do, when it's understood as fictional.

that said; I fully get you about the mistaking shipping for activism thing. this actually, oh, let's get deep in the internet lore, used to be a big thing on here about 10 years ago. for whatever reason the Johnlock community went like, big on shipping pride and how it was an important expression of LGBTQ+ identity and inevitably, the loudest advocates were the straightest. cringe.

now, on the one hand I do think there's something to be said for queer interpretations. especially in the rigidly straight mainstreams of sport and media. if you think of reinterpreting the silly, silly world that is F1 as not for straight people then, well. yes, there's something radical to be said for that thought process.

imagining another possibility is a way to realise how absurd the current reality is. and that's good. but pointing at things and saying 'that's gay' when as far as we know it's not isn't that.

appropriating straight people (and many of the drivers have confirmed that is absolutely how they identify) as representation is, well, sometimes I can understand why LGBTQ+ people take crumbs. but when it's in a space where there are none of us then calling that acceptable or suggesting it fixes a huge demographic imbalance it doesn't is obviously a massive problem.

there are very few openly LGBTQ+ people in motorsport. pretending that's not true in reality isn't creating representation. it's fun to think about a world where there was more of us but it shouldn't replace the reality or excuse our absence.

and then there's the cynical marketing.

I've always really hated Jeandré. I know how many LGBTQ+ people were in the Formula E paddock at the time because I was one of them. clearly, JEV and André played into it, as did their team and Formula E but it was always so uncomfortable to me, that this was play-acting in an environment where the real thing would probably have got more of a pass than in any other part of motorsport but still not been treated with pride and acceptance.

it was something that drove engagement. which, god knows, Formula E needs so maybe that should be the next marketing tactic but it was also... not real.

I've said before I found things like all Sky's Carlando segments really uncomfortable. the one where Lando and Carlos took each other on laps and asked each other very dating-oriented questions was just... very uncomfortable. because men can ask each other dating-oriented questions, it shouldn't be a punchline.

to their credit Carlos and Lando actually always deflected any attempt at 'no homo' - they clearly have a very comfortable friendship and they didn't ever seem to get skittish, no matter how weird interviews got. I can respect just sort of seriously looking someone down and saying like, no you blink first if this is gay chicken. if you're trying to ship us, you've got to admit it.

but that didn't make it right. or make it that they were representation. remember when there was that seriously odd blog on here that claimed to be written by marketing specialists and body language analysts that was a transparent attempt to 'prove' carlando was true and both Lando and Carlos' official relationships were fake?

that felt very strange, a new development in motorsport fandom. obviously we all know it happened with One Direction and whatever but I was surprised to see that there was a ship that invested in, in F1. and needless to say, it was completely libellous and incredibly invasive, as well as quite misogynist.

shipping won't help a driver come out. and acting as though it's totally unrealistic that drivers could be in a relationship together obviously ignores the fact that some of them are (Jess and Abbie!)

anyway as a bonus piece of analysis for anyone who got down this far, when did Max/Charles go past the F1 RPF titan that is Simi for number of works??? unbelievable, never thought I'd see the day that was knocked off the top spot by two ships involving Max Verstappen. poor ol' brocedes.

#f1 asks

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tovaicas · 10 months

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actually here is some drg lore for rouvastre bc I can

rouvastre was a house knight by profession and took up the lance in arr bc they feared any potential idiosyncrasies with ishgardian sword-and-shield styles of fighting would be easily recognizable, and he was familiar enough with a lance (both practically and by watching - she had a cousin who was a drg trainee) that it wasn't a wholly new weapon for them. so a lot of that inherent skill and talent owain praises you for? nothing actually special, rouvastre just had more practical experience with a lance than the dudes in the lancer's guild.

by the time lnc/drg 30 rolls around they're already too far in deep to back out of saying yes to owain's favour, and yes he’s sweating bullets the entire time they have to go back to coerthas and pretend she doesn’t know anything abt the dragoons. absolutely nothing, they swear. being picked by the eye as the unprecedented second azure drg may have prompted a minor panic attack, but he’s already locked into her story so...oops.

like regular arr!drg quests, alberic speedran their training, so despite getting a soulstone and old memories and knowing the skills, he’s effectively handicapped by the fact that a) she never actually learned the iron control and other basic skills it takes to actually be a drg and b) they're just kinda winging it the whole time. bc he has so many problems with the Soulstone That Hates Them (there's a subjugated dragon spirit in there that Really Doesn't Want To Be that's there as a drg power battery, and 'trained in two months and only taught parkour' rouvastre doesn't know how to handle it and is constantly fighting with it) she’s actually a very middling drg until the niddhog fight. alberic introduced them as the 2nd azure to heustienne and she was like. huh.

(that was arr!lore I kept bc I took the whole 'dragon within' thing literally ok.)

they only time the soulstone actually worked with them was for niddhog, which was a temporary thing, they never managed to see eye to eye. rouvastre released him from the stone after hw on that post-hw reminiscing solo roadtrip, and later met drahm korr (an ex-horde wyvern) in anyx trine, who now willingly replaces the soulstone.

post-hw, drahm korr is the source of nearly all their drg power, sort of in the same way estinien's reached an accord with nidhogg. stb is their training montage together, and she's pivotal for shinryu; rouvastre doesn't really actually bloom into being a good drg until stb, and they're emulating/reinventing pre-dsw dragoons. I like to think a lot of jobless drgs are out getting cool friendship dragons of their own now, thanks rouvastre

they both share most sensations (ex. thought, emotion, sometimes even sight), even over long distances (a curious consequence of this is that drahm korr doesn't actually speak eorzean, bc rouvastre only ever speaks to her in ishgardian). Emotion in particular is felt intensely between them, and much of their communication is non-verbal. they're basically always within a close distance unless inconvenient (ie. drahm korr doesn't approach ishgard unless she has to), so she's there for every major thing that doesn't take place in norvrandt (ie she's the one ferrying hien/yugiri/lyse outta ghimlyt during elidizenos, she flies off to help estinien/tiamat in paglth'an, was instrumental for shinryu, etc). there's a little nook set up for her in revenant's toll.

in-game she's the wyvern mount you can get!

tl;dr

#spoilers #major spoilers #being the azure is smth rouvastre has to really mature into lol. it takes a long time for them to actually be *good* at being a drg #I think it's a shame nothing much is said abt the crisis of being a drg after hw so this is for me personally VBHFSVBHSF #oc: rouvastre #saint.txt

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scrapyardboyfriends · 1 year

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lol yeah new characters nowadays always have some kind of hidden secret or agenda, it's unrealistic and the show is so focused on angst, to the point where they forget about the friendships and some of the more light-hearted, natural moments. whereas back in like 2009/2010, there was angst but it wasn't overdone, and the community feel was still there. not every character was out for revenge or hiding some major secret lol. i agree that the arrival of the bartons was really refreshing compared to new characters these days.

If the Bartons arrived today all five of them would have different convoluted connections to different characters. Two would be out for revenge and three would have some deep dark traumatic secret backstory. Every viewer would be immediately suspicious of them and watching their every move and saying how everything they do is a red flag and then every reveal would make us reevaluate everything about them but also probably be a let down.

It's so exhausting. Haha.

I know soap as a genre is dying but the desperate need to keep doing bigger and bigger stunts and reveals and more unique issue stories just so they can get themselves in the headlines just kind of strips the show of its heart and soul and makes it ultimately less enjoyable to watch long term. Like sure, you might tune in for that specific big reveal the headline is telling you about or a specific issue story if it's of interest to you or the latest big stunt but if there's nothing to keep you there afterwards, then they've just lost them again.

Like sure I started watching, first for Aaron's coming out story and then later for robron but what kept me watching even after Robert left was because I had gotten attached to the whole show and the characters in it, even though it was already bad. And I knew it was too. I've read my old posts where I was upset that Ryan was leaving because I'd gotten attached to the show as a whole but without Robert and Robron, I wasn't sure I'd have anything to keep me watching because it had gotten so bad and it's only gotten worse from there. And I mean, I still have some attachment to it because of the older eras that I've seen but it's so bad now I only half watch it sometimes and more just to see what nonsense they're going to come up with next, not because I'm actively engaged and invested.

The other problem with always trying to one up themselves is that I'm not sure they could even go back to a 2010 style of storytelling. Ot it would be a rough transition anyway. Even though it was far better, people's expectations have been set and now they'd probably think they were bored if there wasn't some big reveal every other week.

We're so trained with new characters to immediately see them as having a secret agenda, we can't watch it without waiting for it. I mean, back to Marcus, when he came in as Pierce's retconned in long lost son, everyone immediately thought he was going to be evil somehow. Every move he made, people were like "oh he's being controlling" and this is going to lead somewhere and then...it didn't. And people were disappointed. I mean if he had just been a regular electrician, it would have been better and maybe they could go back to how it used to be but I feel like people would still expect the worst.

I mean everyone thought Ben would be out for revenge against Aaron. Everyone is waiting for Tom King to be evil now.

They've just ruined the show so much, I think it would be very hard to recapture the heart it used to have but I would rather they try than continue down this soulless track of chasing headlines.

#emmerdale complaints corner

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thebigpalooka · 2 years

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Do you have any post-Sonic 2 headcanons now that Tails and Knuckles have become Wachowskis?

LOL, well, I feel my headcanons probably consist mostly of Deeply Unpopular Opinions, because I kind of …don't really see Tails and Knuckles as ACTUALLY joining the family in the same way Sonic did?

Sonic definitely considers Tails as basically his little brother, but even though Tails had a rough childhood, he wasn't isolated in the same way Sonic was. You know, he DOES have a village somewhere.

Knuckles had a more similar experience, but responded to it by growing up too fast in some ways Sonic did not. So I have trouble imagining him kind of, settling back into being 'a regular kid' in the way Sonic has. His maturity level is in a different place, I guess? (Nothing to do with needing love or friendship or any of that, that's all great).

Anyway, I could be totally off-base and I won't mind a bit if I am. SCU is its own thing. But I personally imagine more of that kind of friendship you have as kids where your besties are always running in and out of the house. They might as WELL live there, and your parents are just never surprised to see them anywhere doing anything, they're buying groceries with the assumption these kids will be eating them, always invited to stay for breakfast or lunch or supper. Invited on family car trips.

Like they're sneaking in the upstairs window after bedtime and giggling about it because they're so SNEAKY but the folks downstairs can hear every titter and it's so stupid anyway because if you ASKED to sleepover the answer is usually always yes anyway. They are there EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Anyway, that's more the direction of my own headcanons, even tho it's not all that different. Tails with the perky "HIII Mrs. Wachowski!", but blocking the back door because the boys decided to see how deep they could dig a hole out back but now the dirt isn't going back in it right and every time Knuckles does anything the hole gets BIGGER. And "I, Sonic, am the one who's gonna get grounded, do you understand me?? What? No, grounded has nothing to do with digging holes, it means - well, YES, in this case it DOES have to do with the hole, but -you know what? Never mind."

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie 2 #sonic 2 #tails #knuckles #sonic wachowski #ask

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ameliterature · 3 years

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Neil and Todd Jealousy POV (Yes, there's more)

Charlie POV | Cameron POV

Neil was an only child and this obviously came with minor character flaws. Not only was he given all of the attention by his parent (even if it was the bad kind) Neil never really had to share anything.

Not that he didn't want to share. He just never had many opportunities to, with the lack of siblings and all. The closest he had to a sibling was Charlie. Unlike Neil, Charlie would share everything with him because he had so much to give. Was it the fact that Charlie's family was rich and that he has at least 3 of each item? Maybe, but Charlie was sure to share what he had with his best friend.

Another thing Neil "the Welton Golden boy" Perry had as a flaw was that he simultaneously wore his heart on his sleeve and yet always tried to hide his feelings. Case in point: when Charlie made a move on Todd.

Now, it's only been roughly 2 semesters since they've known Todd Anderson. Neil had the gracious chance to be his roommate, so in some way, it was like having another best friend aside from Charlie. But what he felt for Todd was vastly different from his friendship with Charlie. Something about the way Todd smiled at him, something about the way he makes sarcastic remarks, something about the way they shared glances between each other every now and then.

Neil was completely enthralled by Todd. Some might say to the point of being possessive. Neil would say protective because Todd was the kind of person who needed to be kept safe. Todd wasn't good at standing up for himself, he wasn't good at speaking the same way he wrote poems. Neil took it upon himself to be the one to make Todd feel the included. He had to be included, he had to be where Neil was.

Thankfully the whole Dead Poet Society thing worked out well, Neil was surprised how well Todd was integrated into the group. They even spent Christmas break as a group with Todd. Things were going great between him and Todd, Neil couldn't ask for more than to share his experiences with Todd.

But one night, a regular ole Study group session, something caught Neil's eyes. Todd was helping Knox out with some love poem, obviously meant for Chris, and he could hear the contents of the poem.

"Hymns from above casted when you're near

Heaven's light shine atop a golden-haired angel

My heart's full of whims and vivid dreams

but in your presence they're obligations I hold close

Be mine and I'll keep your heart guarded

Because mine is with yours, unthwarted."

Neil hears Todd recite their draft poem, hearing it as if it were meant for him to hear. His own golden-haired angel was biting the end of his pencil as Knox was scribbling the rest of the poem. Neil catches himself staring just before Todd looks up at him so he brings his attention back to the trigonometry problem he was answering with Cameron.

He couldn't concentrate on sine, cosine, and tangents at the moment, not when Todd's hand is in his peripheral view; all perfect with it's blemishes and tapping to an imaginary beat. Every so often, he'd steal a glance at Todd's eyes, darting back and forth from his paper to Knox's. He'd be jealous of any pupil Todd would eventually have if he became an English teacher. To be consulted with his sweet voice, to be seated by him as he explains anything, to be taught how to express feelings he wasn't sure how to jot down.

Oh have Todd's untampered attention.

"Hey Todd," Charlie's voice resonates across their small table. Neil accidentally shot his eyes to his friend's direction without skipping a beat. "Mind helping me out with a poem too?"

Since when did Charlie ever ask for help from Todd? Not that he wasn't allowed to or anything, Todd was the right person for this task but-- Something about it wasn't sitting right with Neil.

What wasn't a surprise was Todd's hesitant acceptance. He watched as Todd moved over to Charlie's right hand side and Neil felt his back become warm. It wasn't just his back, his guts turned into an unrested sea, and his eyebrows twitched, trying to avoid a scowl.

"What do you wanna write about?"

"I wanna write about Love." Neil saw Charlie lean forward to look Todd deep into his eyes; for a moment, he thought he saw Todd blush. Neil didn't like Todd showing that expression to someone else, or at least someone like Charlie.

"S-So... We'll use cosine to get X--" Cameron muttered, snapping Neil back to his assignment. He looked at the blurred numbers and symbols, trying to remember what the other problem was.

"Right, cosine-"

Just before dinner, Neil catches up with Todd to walk with him to the dining hall.

"So," Neil started, not exactly sure where to lead the conversation to. "I guess it's spaghetti and meatballs again, huh?"

Todd pushed out a chuckle in response. "Yeah, I guess it is."

Neil had Todd to himself for a tiny moment, for a stupid one-liner too, but it felt like he was in Cloud nine. Todd's calm expression was all he could ask for, paired with his blue eyes looking back at him.

When they reached their table, they assumed their usual spots, Neil being on the left side of the table and Todd on the other. However, Charlie decided to change up the seating arrangement and sat beside Todd instead of him.

There's that funny feeling again. Neil's stomach was nothing but a pit that resembled a deep well without a bucket, nothing to retrieve and remove the sludge that was forming in it. He hated how Todd was so responsive to Charlie's words, how Charlie was so capable of making Todd blush, he hated the sight of Todd rubbing elbows with Charlie as they ate. Neil wasn't sure why he was feeling this way, why he even thought something innocent between Charlie and Todd could make him so agitated. It could all be his imagination.

When Todd left for the bathroom, Neil decided to interrogate his best friend.

"Hey Charlie, why the sudden change of seating arrangement? Thought I was your cute best friend." He tried to sound like his usual self.

"Well, I'm trying to get closer to Todd."

"W-what? Why?" Neil felt his voice crack, much like his confidence.

"I dunno, he's pretty cute. Don't you agree?"

"I--" Neil felt his whole body stiffen, his hand tightened it's pressure on his spoon like a clamp.

"I'm thinking of asking him out soon. No one else seems interested." Neil saw it, he saw Charlie smirk. Neil's emotions became unreasonably irrational, they became unhinged and even if he tried to hide it, they were all bubbling to the surface. Charlie had everything already, he and Neil shared everything before this, but for some reason, Neil couldn't share Todd with someone like Charlie.

"Oh hi, Todd! Welcome back" Neil glares at Charlie while he greets Todd.

"What did I miss?" Todd asks innocently, still taking his seat beside Charlie.

As Charlie began his sentence, Neil cuts him off. "Nothing-" Todd shifts his eyes to share eye contact with Neil. "By the way, we should head back to our room, I need help with my poems." Neil's last attempt of gaining the upper hand on Charlie failed when Charlie brought up his and Todd's prior arrangement.

Neil didn't get it. What did Charlie have that he didn't? Or better yet, what does Charlie not possess yet that he would try to make the moves on Todd?? Neil hated this feeling- this vicious vine-like feeling trapping him. Was it... Jealousy?

Neil's never had much of a reason to be jealous about someone before. He's only been jealous of people who were freer than him-- people like Charlie. Was he jealous of Charlie in that regard? That he could proudly express what he felt for Todd and Neil couldn't? He guessed that was the difference. Charlie did have everything; down to the personality that could make Todd fall for him.

Neil was in Meeks' dorm room, resigning himself in defeat like a pathetic loser he thought he was.

All Neil could do was blankly stare into the shine of the wires that coiled around parts of their machine. A brief knock on their door broke his trance- It was Cameron.

“Do you guys mind if I hang out here? I’m just gonna do my reviewers for a bit.”

“Sure, no problem.” Meeks nods, still measuring out some amount of wires.

“Wait, how come you’re not studying in your room?” Neil questioned,

Cameron took a moment to respond. “Charlie… he wanted to focus on his homework with Todd… Alone.”

This was the last straw for Neil, the final push that made him stand up for once. He couldn't bury his jealousy anymore, he had to confront Charlie.

He left his friends to march his way to Charlie's room. He wasted no time when asking Charlie about his motives.

"Well hello, Perry! What do I owe the pleasure?"

"Quit it-" Neil cuts him off. "Are you serious about Todd?"

"... What?"

"I- I'm asking if you're really interested in Todd?"

Maybe this was all a trick, maybe Neil was just being jealous, maybe Charlie was playing a cruel joke on Neil and he had to shake it out of him.

"Yes." Charlie's expression was ripe with confidence.

With that, Neil felt his world shatter. What was he doing? Was he gonna fight his friend over his feelings for Todd? Was he gonna deny Todd of someone as fun and as romantic as Charlie? Charlie's given so much to Neil and the way he was acting was nothing short of being selfish.

If Charlie really liked Todd, then Todd would be lucky. If Todd would return those feelings, Charlie would be the luckiest man to ever live.

Neil had nothing to offer to Todd that Charlie couldn't top. Neil felt his bitter feelings turn into catharsis, accepting that Todd's better off sharing his moments with Charlie than him.

"T-then... Please take care of him, okay?" Neil buckled his shoulders.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"If you ever hurt Todd-- You're a dead man, got it?" Neil's eyes were like daggers, piercing right at Charlie's own brown eyes.

"R-right..."

Neil figured he had to leave, he couldn't bear to see Todd and Charlie exchanging looks. But this of course wasn't the case. A knock echoed in the room.

When he opened the door, Todd was right there, his beautiful eyes staring up at Neil will a quizzical expression.

Neil assumed that Charlie would most likely profess his love to those eyes, and that knowledge broke Neil's heart.

"Sorry Todd, looks like I'm gonna have to move our study session for now. I think Neil needs your help more. Right, Neil?" Charlie spoke, catching Neil's bewildered expression.

"I'm sure he's got something more important than mine anyway."

Neil looks at Charlie and Todd, bouncing a confused face between them. He sees Charlie's wink before Todd guides Neil out of the room.

Todd sighs as he returns to his room with Neil, his sweaty hands in the midst of sticking to his papers.

How did he end up in this situation?

How could he explain the entire day?

It all started when he told Charlie about his crush on Neil in private. All he wanted was advice from the best friend of his crush and nothing more.

"Glad you came to me, Toddsie!" Charlie pats him on the back excitedly.

Todd didn't like how enthusiastic Charlie was being in this situation, though he was grateful Charlie immediately accepted him for coming out.

"I know exactly how to make him fall in love with you!"

"L-look Charlie, I'm not trying to get Neil to like me! I just-- I just wanted to know how to deal with all these feelings I'm having."

All these feelings- Todd's had these "feelings" ever since Neil shook his hand for the first time in the courtyard. He's never met someone as perfect as Neil. Yeah, he had Father Issues, impulsive actions, even the tendency to make weird noises (but he found those the cutest) and yet Neil made Todd's world move.

Neil's laughter, Neil's smile, the stolen glances he catches Neil casting his direction-- It was all Todd sought after in his recent days at Welton.

"Oh please, Todd, those 'feelings' are straight up love from what I hear. We just have to know if Neil feels the same way!"

"We don't even know if he's interested in men! Charlie- What am I supposed to do?" Todd buried his face into his hands.

"Don't worry, I'll find out a way to not only check if he swings that way, but I can guarantee I can get him to return your feelings."

"That-- That doesn't make any sense, Charlie." Todd wasn't able to question his friend any longer as they dashed into the study hall.

The Study group went on as usual, Todd assisting Knox with his poem for Chris, Meeks and Pitts building a contraption he was sure was the Radio Mark II, and Neil, Cameron and Charlie trying to answer some trigonometry homework.

What didn't help was Neil being directly in front of him. Todd could see Neil in his glasses, unabashedly handsome and very distracting. Todd would try his best to help Knox with his poem but Todd's eyes would linger onto Neil's perfectly "framed" face.

He then hears Charlie call him over. At first, Todd didn't think much of it, but he soon regrets ever telling Charlie of his crush on Neil.

The whole evening, Charlie tried to make Neil jealous without planning it out with Todd first. If Todd had at least known, he wouldn't have been trying picture Neil in Charlie's place as some sort of "method acting" to go along with this scheme. When dinner began, Charlie took Cameron's spot for 'maximum efficiency'. It didn't help when Charlie called him "cute" in front of Neil. Would Neil agree? Would Neil even describe a guy to be cute? Would Todd be able to enjoy his spaghetti and meatballs without Charlie's arm around him?

Todd decided that he should excuse himself to the bathroom for compose himself. (And to evade the plethora of compliments Charlie showered him with.)

When it came from Charlie, it felt like a joke, like a friendly description, really, than an actual compliment. Then Todd thinks if they came from Neil... then those words would make him swoon.

Would Neil even fall for this type of trick? Was it even right to trick Neil like this? Would Neil be even okay with the idea of Todd being in a relationship in with a man? He wasn't even sure if Neil would accept Todd's feelings, let alone feel jealous of Charlie.

As Todd approached their table, he's immediately greeted by Charlie.

"What did I miss?"

"Well Todd--" "Nothing." Neil cuts of Charlie with a serious tone.

Oh no... did Neil find out? Did Charlie rat him out already?

"By the way, we should head back to our room, I need help with my poems." Neil looks up at Todd with an expression that is both deadpan and attractive to him, Todd had no other choice but to accept.

"What? Todd, I thought you'd help me out?" Charlie pouts. "I did ask first." Todd didn't want to miss his opportunity to be with Neil, especially not when he looks at him like that. But Todd looks back at Charlie, raising his eyebrows as if to say "Just go along with it."

Todd was reluctant, of course, he didn't want to perpetuate fooling Neil in any way, but he wasn't sure if Neil had anything to return at all. They were always alone after all, nothing would be stripped away if he spent one evening in Charlie's room to make Neil jealous.

"Right, sorry, Neil. I'll go back to our room after I help out Charlie." Todd replied with a pained expression hidden behind his face.

That evening, when he approached Charlie's room, he hears Neil's voice muffling through. Todd wished had the will to listen in but he assumed it wouldn't be his business if it was said behind closed doors. He took another moment before knocking on Charlie's door.

Neil opens the door for Todd, their eyes meeting briefly, like a celestial occurrence that Todd took note of. Have they always been this brown?

"Hi Todd!" Charlie greets him, breaking him from Neil's gaze.

"Hey Charlie, Hi Neil."

He was expecting Charlie to pull another stunt to make Neil's brown eyes angry, but instead both his and Neil's eyes lifted in surprise when Charlie told him Neil needed his help more.

Did they come to some agreement?

And Todd could've sworn Charlie was winking at Neil... or was it at him?

All these questions didn't matter when they were alone in their room.

Their chests rattled like cages, their hearts ready to jump out at any moment.

Neil bit his lip as Todd took a seat by his desk.

"S-so Neil..." Todd muttered, "Can I ask you something? B-before I help you with your poem..."

"Oh- Yeah, sure."

"What do you think of... of men dating each other?"

Neil lets out a tiny cough. "W- Excuse me?"

"Do you think... it's ok? For two guys to like each other?"

Neil wasn't sure how to respond, was Todd telling him that he liked Charlie? Was Neil too late? Did he miss his chance to tell Todd what he really felt?

"I-- I guess it's alright," Neil answered, slumping his shoulders down in defeat. If he was gonna lose Todd to Charlie, he might as well be supportive. "But- you have to make sure it's the right person." Neil wasn't going down without a fight though.

Todd's face brightened with Neil's response. So 1 part of his query is answered; Neil is ok with the idea of men liking each other. Now it's the question of Neil's feelings for Todd.

"I-If someone, a guy, liked you, how would you feel?" Todd stood up, turning to face Neil. Both of them were by their desks, like two sturdy posts defending their base. Todd awaited Neil’s response with the anticipation akin to a war officer in a meeting room.

"I... would really only prefer it from one guy." Neil took a step forward, with the courage of a powerful Chesspiece during an endgame.

Todd took note of this, mimicking his step, this time walking a bit closer to Neil with his hands in his pockets. "Y-yeah? Who?"

Neil noted this feeling being similar to a spelling bee, like spelling out a complicated word letter by letter, taking a breath to make sure the next thing he was about to say was exactly what the world wanted him to say.

"You, Todd. It's always going to be you."

Todd looks up at Neil, who's now inches away from him from, fully realizing their slight height difference. "I'd say the same for you."

"I hope... I'm not... taking you away from Charlie-" Neil slowly brings his hand to sweep Todd’s hair aside to see his eyes better.

Todd snickers slightly, catching Neil by surprise. "Neil... You don't have to worry about Charlie. I don't have any feelings for him."

"But-" Neil looks concerned, feeling like he betrayed Charlie. "He... He likes you. Todd, I--"

"Is that what he told you? Neil... I hope you won't be angry when I tell you he's been pulling your leg."

Neil jerks his head backwards. "What?"

"I.. Just promise you won't be angry okay?" Todd had to come clean, he couldn’t handle Neil thinking badly of him if he never admitted Charlie's plan. Neil nods before Todd reveals Charlie’s idiotic scheme to get them together by means of tomfoolery.

Neil sighs with a smile, leaning forward to rest on Todd's shoulder. Todd was still getting used to the fact Neil's VERY close right now.

"Well, you guys did a pretty good job of making me extremely jealous." Neil laughs a bit. He was in relief that he didn't need to compete with Charlie.

"I'm... I'm really sorry, Neil. I told him I just wanted advice." Todd looks down with embarrassment.

Neil tilts Todd’s chin up with his hand, bringing his face up to look at him. "You're gonna have to make up for it, y'know?"

Todd’s face simmered under Neil's touch. "I know."

Todd learned that Neil was a Jealous type of guy, not the type to be possessive, but definitely the type to mope around rather than steal someone else's love interest.

Luckily for Neil, he already had Todd’s heart to begin with.

Neil wasn’t used to sharing, but he and Todd shared their first kiss that night. That's a compromise he was willing to do.

Bonus:

Knox, Meeks and Pitts POV:

4 of their friends (the roommates) getting paired up in one night made them:

Thanks again to @sweettodd for that one post that spawn all these POVs haha

Taglist: @anderperrytheplatypus @she-nuwanda @andersonsdeskset @sweetnessbythesea @maisietheweltoncow [tell me if u wanna be added/removed next time]

#anderperry #anderperry fic #yes it's another #jealousy trope #Neil and Todd #POV!#anderperry one shot #dead poets society #anderperry fanfic #fanfic #dps #dead poets society fanfic #dps fic

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hiimsociallyawkward · 3 years

Text

a servant of two masters

hi friends welcome back to me aimlessly ranting about merlin. up today we have 4.06 and this episode. wow. literally just the title gives me everything i need and i'm absolutley here for the chaos that will ensue. hi bestie @lady-ofmagic-andstars

i love them in their capes

i want a cloak

dude the 'oh it's not gonna happen' and then it happens trope is so dumb but i laugh every time

notice how the knights ripped off their capes

dude people are falling off of horses and out

MERLIN

ok ok but how is he injured. ik this is rated for kids but i really dk how badly merlin is injured. it looks like just his shoulder but he shouldn't be almost dying like his yk?

:,) arthru making jokes

ok but i love arthur taking care of merlin

alskdjflsadk them trying to make jokes to make each other feel better :,)

stop arthur. stop telling the truth merlin's not dying here 😭

bestie vibes only deadass

HAHA

a s s

side note, the site i get my screenshots from- this picture has 61 views while others average maybe like 10-15?? perverts HAHA just kidding

sok i'm actually really curious as to what merlin's injury is

alsdjf;lasdfjsaldfjsaldf merlin making the rocks fall

idk if it's jut the angling but i felt like the enemies were way too close for merlin to create an entire rock barrier. i don't have any screen shot evidence but so you're just going to have to take my word for it

ok but like who even are these men. they were working for morgana trying to capture arthur?

and what's morgana going to do once she has arthur? kill him and take his place on the throne? remember how well that turned out last time she tried that? no one wanted her. idk idk morgana is just confusing as to what she wants

pls die agravaine

haha strangely fond of the boy? there's nothing strange about it

ok i laughed but i also felt bad when morgana splashed merlin awake and flailed around like a fish

dude merlin is so snarky here and i'm HERE for it

ok i like the knights being competent. thank you thank you

and now they're riding back into camelot with their capes on? you're telling me they traced back their steps to find their capes, dusted them off to make sure that they weren't too dirty and didn't have any leaves or branches still sticking to it before riding back to camelot? iconic

poor gaius. ok he's the worst but he does think of merlin as his son and this makes me sad

ok i have a dumb question. do you think merlin understands whenever other magic users are casting spells? ok i feel like this is a dumb question now. but like, is magic a language? are all incantations in a different language, so when other person who knows magic is watching you- they know what you're trying to do and such? i feel like "of course they'd know" but i'm basing that assumption on hp where everyone knows that alohomora is alohomora and where everyone knows that lumos is lumos. but what about here? does merlin know what she's incanting? can he slightly understand it even if he's never seen/done it before? is magic a language like latin, and even if you aren't completely fluent, you and parse together things and make an assumptions?

arthur is just so sad here

i just, i have to have these here

yes bby figure out that we have a traitor

gaius is not slick in the slightest. yes. look at the traitor king

wow morgana being able to bond with the snake? i wonder how

ok question, does the fomorroh have some sort of loyalty to whoever calls them?

✨kill arthur pendragon✨

ok that snake going in his neck is actually scary

pretty castle counter: 5

btw this is actually my zoom background sometimes. it depends from call to call but it changes between this pretty castle and peeta mellark

G E O R G E

ok i've seen all the tumblr posts but it doesn't get less funny. the 'merlin's missing and we can't find him so we're going to replace him with another manservent dressed EXACTLY like merlin so arthur feels better' makes me chuckle every time

i would like to have that for breakfast

i like the loyalty arthur thank you. i love the loyalty pls. i love that they're friends. like, i love the romance but i love just people being friends too

ok this whole scene. arthur wanting to look for merlin because he has to at least try, gwen just wanting arthur to be careful and to come back to her, gwaine being buds. i love all the friendships in this and just yes thank you

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok i'm not at the hug scene yet but i know it's coming and i'm beyond excited

ok this sound track is so cute.

saldkfj;asldkfjasldkfsd

matching icons for you and your best friends

deadass if someone wants to change their tumblr icons so we can match hmu bc i'm 100% down with that

another pretty castle scene

SASSY MERLIN PLS

ok ik this is dumb to comment on because i feel like it's not tremendously hard to execute but i love the differences that colin made in regular merlin and fomorroh merlin. it's the best

they say it later in the episode but i find it hilarious how bad of an assassin merlin is

dude pls you're pouring poison in front of EVERYONE else?

BOG MAN. ok guys i'm calling you guys bog mans now.

ASLDJFALSDFJS THE JEALOUSY SCENE

i am cringey but laughing at the same time you don't understand why am i this childish

ok but arthur is being so sweet right here. i feel like he's not trying to be showy in front of gwen, i feel like he wants merlin to rest and that's so sweet. he's so patient right here and i love him

i miss the gwen and merlin friendship actually

dude merlin is roasting gaius so hard today

leon geeking out over weapons is so cute. omg he's such a tiny nerd i love him

laskjflasdfj THIS SCENE. this makes up for the stew jokes that i may or may not still be mad about

i love that the knights LITERALLY turn a blind eye it's actually hilarious

LOOK AT MERLIN BEING COMPETENT?? HE'S SO SMART WITH THE ARROW RIGGING THING

it's literally treason leon pls and you're laughing you're the best 😭😭

i wish we had a pervical back story arc

ok i think it's dumb that i laughed when merlin ducked but i stand by that

ok why do i feel bad for arthur a little. he's talking abt some semi-deep stuff. not deep deep but like, he's trying to ask for advice from his friend, his close advisor. he would've never talked to merlin like this is season 1-2 but here he is, talking about trust. and MERLIN is trying to MURDER HIM. yes. i admit it's a little funny when i'm just watching merlin trip over things and such, but when i listen to arthur talking i feel slightly sad

literallly. merlin's passed out on the floor and arthur doesn't even think anything is wrong

gwen's face when she knocked merlin out is so cute

oop. why is arthur standing in agravaine's door way like an absolute robot

cyes arthur. figure him out

i hate agravaine. i just want arthur to be happy. he's only trusting agravaine because agravaine is family.

stfu agravaine 'you're all that's left of my dear sister' SHUT THE FRONT DOOR

ok there's a repeat of the castle from earlier but i'll spare you

pls this bath scene is so awkward. tt not being able to trust anyone anymore and we're laughing at merlin but arthur's talking so sad and deep

pls this bath scene is so awkward. that's all the notes i have

again, i miss gwen and merlin

merlin is MONCHING on those berries. i'm craving berries now

ok but like. yk that pouch that gaius is using to make the forromoh dormant? what if merlin tucked it in his neckerchief as a precaution. i'm just saying.

aslfkjasdaskdjf the tavern

yall why did merlin have to stop his horse to drink the potion

i want the knights to have a cool band name or smth yk what i mean?

i like that merlin is still a little in the camelot red. it's not the same shade but yk what i mean

HAHA LEON AND PERCIVAL BEING PUSHED TOGETHER. I JUST KEPT ON SCREAMING SUBTEXT SUBTEXT

damn morgana wants RESUKTS. i dont blame her

the frist interaction with merlin and morgana in the hut is so awkward. pls.idek how to comment on it

deadass morgana's dress is so pretty.

magic fight! magic fight!

stfu 'rightfully mine' pls

hehe there's a leaf in his hair

ok i feel like i should've commented more on the magic fight but idk bro

so ik that colin was in this whole episode but it really only just now feels like merlin is here and i think that's fun

arthur is the cutest. i'm loving this dynamic you have no idea. i live live live live LIVE off banter. pls

guys i'm sad apparently i can only put 10 pics in a post but pls enjoy this one pic of arthur right here 😭

ok idk abt you but i'd love to hear jokes abt brass

agaragvaine pls die already

YOU'RE SUCH A PERV LITERALLY

AWAY

NOW

dude that last scene was actually really pretty and i'm sad that i can't attach it now

anyways thanks for reading my long ass rambles. but i'll be back next week to the secret sharer i'll catch you on the flip side

#merlin #merlin bbc #colin morgan #emrys #morgana pendragon #king arthur #bradley james #gwen pendragon #angel coulby #morgana #katie mcgrath #gwaine #percival #elyan #leon #gaius

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atemoss · 3 years

Text

ICON CREDIT: @legendcrown and

HEADER CREDIT: @maternas and

PROMO CREDIT (NEW): @rgtag and

PROMO CREDIT (OLD): @maternas and

https://twitter.com/PIXELATEDCROWN/status/1058088751254114304/photo/1

https://pace-in-space.tumblr.com/post/668497150847729664/i-just-think-theyre-neat

Rules + Info!

Muse info below!

Kris

General

* They are in their teens, around 16 to be exact.

* They struggle with significant mental health issues, this struggle has spanned over quite some time and is known about by school staff. They often fall behind on basic maintenance, such as eating properly.

* They have a shaky school record, missing most days and falling behind on classwork are regular occurances with them. They receive help from teachers and students alike.

* They are often regarded by others as the creepy kid, interests and behaviors not aligning with most their age. Such as their running gag of spreading misinformation about humans to their impressionable acquaintances.

Vesselhood

* Their mindspace is shared between themself and an entity they know as the SOUL.

* While the SOUL can assume control over Kris and their actions, it’s control is not absolute.

* Kris has be able to SAVE all along, although the ability to LOAD and FILE HOP are ones they have only recently began to tamper with.

* While an unwilling participant, Kris did come to enjoy the company of Susie, Ralsei and Lancer.

* The cage is a regular punishment inflicted upon the SOUL whenever Kris feels stretched too thin, the entire ordeal with the Dark World being a bit too much even if some parts were enjoyable.

Family

* They undoubtedly love their mom, still clinging to her publicly regardless of their current age. She’s taught them many things, such as making pie, to which they have been banned for overindulging. She does her best to support them and they know it.

* Their dad, while a bit mixed on, is still loved by them. They worry for him in all honesty, seeing the state of his shop and how he lives. He’s also doing his best, not quite at the level where giant hugs are permitted, but around just below that.

* They love their brother very much, having been a lot better off when he was around. Asriel was always a good pushing force to get them going when they lagged but simultaneously able to empathize when a nudge just isn’t what they need.

* Kris took the family splitting really hard, the divorce sending their already less than ideal mental health down the gutter. When Asriel, their last support, left for college they truly went off the deep end. They had always felt inadequate, having been left by a human family they can’t even recall, now they feel as if they’ve ruined the only family they had left.

Friends

* While they knew friendly faces at school like Noelle and Catti, Kris never felt they’d truly stayed friends with either. They’re bad at maintaining friendships, dropping contact for months at a time without warning.

* They never expected Susie to warm up to them, fully prepared to take a beating and head home that day. It was an odd magic the SOUL worked, a little too much given how often it made Kris talk.

* Ralsei’s nature was and still is a mystery to them, though they know he means well. Over the course of their adventures, as he came to open up to Kris about his world and the heroes roll within it, they took his advice to heart.

* And then there’s Lancer, the little goof himself. Kris can’t say they didn’t warm up to him and his attempts to thwart them. They also couldn’t say they’d mind being absorbed into the bad guys club, but don’t tell Ralsei!

Susie

General

* Like Kris, she is in her teens. Around 16 to be exact.

* She has difficulty regulating her emotions, often lashing out at others verbally for perceived slights. This has painted her in a very bad light with her peers and faculty, being seen as nothing short of the school bully.

* There have been multiple attempts to refer her to a school counselor, none successful due to her inability to cooperate and the radio silence from her legal guardians. She insists she doesn’t need some stranger poking around in her head, she is completely stable and could definitely turn around at the drop of a hat if she wanted to!

Home

* Next to nothing is known about her home life, none of the others having ever seeing her parents before. They exist, she insists, but rumor has it she’s just found loitering around town after the school day’s over.

* She’s got a seemingly bottomless appetite, always chomping into strange things due to inadequate meals at home. She doesn’t stick around the place much, scaring whatever lunch money she can out of someone in order to hang at the local diner for dinner.

* Her clothes often need to be patched due to her tearing her sleeves with her teeth, she has a tendency to chew on things such as her claws/bottle caps/pens/etc.

Friends

* Although her initial attitude says otherwise, she truly does want friends. It’s just difficult, considering her poor socialization skills and the reputation she’s ranked up over the years. Being such a small town, there was no one to really start over with.. until the Dark World happened.

* Lancer, the little goof he is, was nothing but another impressionable dork she’d no doubt scare off to her at the beginning. When he began to grow attached, misconstruing her insults and threats as constructive criticism, she couldn’t help but grow soft for him. It was rather helpful that her alternatives were someone she was convinced already hated her (Kris) and someone who’s done nothing but critique her approach to things (Ralsei)

* Once she was able to admit to herself that she didn’t find ALL softies dumb, Ralsei worked his way into her spiky little heart. He’s fun to tease, incredibly patient, makes CAKES, and he’s goddamn adorable though you did not hear that from her.

* Kris was the last she warmed up to, having literally threatened them in the same day she wasn’t very hopeful they’d look forward to starting over anytime soon. Though, over the course of their adventure, she began to find they shared similar quirks. Namely, eating things they shouldn’t! She slowly grew accustomed to their irritating bouts of silence and general mannerisms. It wasn’t until they defended her from the King that she truly felt things had shifted for the better, an unmistakable act of care.

Magic

* Susie, being a monster, has magic of her own! Although she neglects to use it, due to it being hard to control.

* Her abilities are generally fire-based, being able to do things like shoot fire from her mouth, cause any naturally existing fires to flare, and being generally immune to the stuff.

* Her scales also have a hardening quality that makes spike puzzles a breeze, she is able to just walk over them. She can take quite a beating, the only real worries damange wise being her clothes or her hair.

* She can regrow limbs! Her tail is still in the process of regrowing after a rather silly accident cause it to be severed from the rest of her body.

#it appears you have reached an end. } ooc

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sarcastically-defensive17 · 4 years

Note

Hey, so I really like your work so I have a request 👀 maybe you could write Luke and reader being best friends but both having deeper feelings, they're roommates but they fight over Luke's gf bc he says that she needs to move out bc his girlfriend wants to move in and she doesn't like reader so she ends up leaving and running with Crystal but she asks to not tell anyone (except Mike for obvious reasons) that she's there and Luke is really worried but he and reader end up together, pretty please

I LOVE THIS REQUEST!! Sorry if I didn’t do it justice, but I hope you like it!

Also I’m so sorry that the layout went weird! I posted it from my computer and now it looks odd on the phone!

Original story by sarcastically-defensive17

Love? Love. - L. Hemmings

"If she gets those fake blonde extensions wrapped around my straightener one more time, Lucas, I will rip them out myself."

He simply sighed, focusing more of his attention on his phone rather than his best friend.

Y/N and Luke has been best friends since they were 17. They kindled their friendship on the very last day of year 12, such as she did with Calum and Michael.

Since that day, as they sat in the barren English Room and discussed everything and anything that came to mind, her and Luke had been inseparable.

She was the Bucky to his Steve, the Yang to his Yin, the regular sized human to his giant stature.

Well, until Suzanna stepped into the picture.

She is 5"7, coated in fake tan that was applied by somebody with the vision of Stevie Wonder and fake blonde extensions that accentuate how beautiful she would be, if she toned down the Geordie Shore look.

Y/N couldn't help but wonder if her personality would be able to shine brightly through the thick foundation, if she had one, that is.

"Thank you for pretending to listen to me, I appreciate it so much," she rolled her eyes.

For the past few weeks the air in the house had been incredibly tense.

"Y/N?" He asked, his voice hesitant. "Can I talk to you about something?"

She couldn't stop her eyes from lighting up. This was the calmest her and luke had been with each other in almost a week, and she would take any chance to talk to him in a civilized manner.

To be honest, the idea of talking to him did nothing to quell the overflowing feelings she had for the man.

"Is that even a question? You can always talk to me, Lu," she sat opposite to him on the lounge, pulling her legs up underneath her.

He was nervous. That was obvious in the way he raked his fingers through his blonde curls. Suzanna constantly hounded at him to cut his hair but Y/N knew how much he loved his hair.

She couldn't deny that she adored the ringlets that decorated his soft locks.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a little bit," he rung his hands together, spinning rings on his fingers. "I, um, I'm gonna need you to move out."

He mumbled the last few words, sighing softly when she asked him to repeat it. It's safe to say, she was at a loss of words.

"You - you want me to move out? Why?" Her eyebrow was cocked, and she tilted her head to the side slightly.

Luke couldn't help but admire how much she resembled a puppy dog. He always found her to be a mix of adorable and purely beautiful. Which is part of the reason he forced himself to say yes when Suzanna asked to take a larger step in their relationship.

He had spent so much time fighting his feelings for Y/N. Suzanna helped, but he still needed to force himself to deny his feelings in favour of the smaller ones he had for his girlfriend.

He was cruel, he knew it.

"Suzanna and I were talking, and we’re ready to move in together. And she couldn't move in here because of-"

"Because of what? Because I can't stand the woman that has cheated on you multiple times?" Y/N was angry, that much she knew. She couldn't believe the audacity. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Well I would love nothing more than for my girlfriend and my best friend to get along but you make it so difficult for Suzanna to get to know you," he snapped pinching the bridge of his nose between his long fingers.

"I gave her a chance before she slept with one of your mates, Luke. As far as I'm concerned, you should have gotten rid of her months ago when she did it a second time."

"Why can't you just be happy for me?" His eyes were narrowed and the blue orbs held the same lack of patience she had seen a lot over the past week.

She opened her mouth to retort but couldn't find the words to say. Truthfully, she was shattered when Luke told her about his relationship, but she decided to be the bigger person and let go of the idea that Luke could be hers. Their friendship has lasted too long for that to be a possibility.

Luke's comment set her off.

"Oh so I am meant to happy for you, with the Geordie Barbie who fucks another guy regularly, but you couldn't be happy for me with Daniel?"

"Daniel was an asshole!"

"And so is Suzanna!"

They were both on their feet now, staring each other down with a ferocity they hadn't seen since an argument in their teenage years.

Sure, Daniel was a bit of an asshole, but Luke knew he was in the wrong for hating the man so fiercely. The moment he had finally worked up the nerve to ask Y/N on a date - a real date - Daniel swept in and the two were together for almost a year until he started getting more controlling.

The last straw was when Daniel flipped because of the close relationship Y/N and Luke shared and Luke threw a punch at him.

"You're jealous," Luke scoffed, his blue eyes aimed anywhere but at her for he knew his anger was unwarranted but he couldn't bare to face the truth about his relationship.

"Excuse me?" She cocked a brow again and he had to glance away quickly as his eyes fell on her for a second.

"You are jealous that I can keep somebody around and you haven't been able to keep anybody around for almost a year." His brows were pinched tight together and he squared his shoulders.

It was easy for Y/N to notice the slight hunch in his posture, a symbol that he was immediately guilt stricken by his words.

"Oh, I'm so sorry that I can't settle for somebody who doesn't deserve me," she barked out a sarcastic laugh, slamming her hand on the bench to grab her keys.

Luke opened his mouth to retort, but she fixed him with a glare so angry that he physically recoiled.

She slipped her vans on at the door, grabbing her bag off of the hook where she organized all of her daily belongings. She was meticulous and Luke had always admired how neat she was compared to his disorganized chaos.

"You wanted me gone? I'm going. Don't bother contacting me til you wake up to yourself," she stomped towards the door, pausing as she pulled the wood open. "I'll have my stuff gone by the end of the week. Tell Barbie to keep my straightener. God knows she fucked it anyways."

The door slammed behind her and the entire house instantly felt as if the warmth was gone.

She went straight to Crystal's house. The woman was packing for the impending move to a new house; one which her and Michael would share.

"So he wants you to move out so that thing can move in?" Her voice was laced with disgust.

All of them despise Suzanna. The woman had hurt Luke more times than they could count, she blatantly ignores or insults both Y/N and Crystal for fear of any sort of threat in her relationship, yet she regularly cheats on him.

Go figure.

Y/N made a noise of agreement around her glass of wine. The minute she had stepped in the door Crystal had phoned Micheal and ordered a Girls Night, to which Y/N profusely demanded that she would make it up to the couple whose date night she disturbed.

"He better hope I don't get my hands on him, Y/N."

"It's not worth it Crys," she sighed, swirling the contents of her glass in a circle. "I've been basically invisible in that house since the Barbie started coming around."

Crystal pulled the girl into a hug. Not many knew of her hidden feelings for Luke, but Crystal figured it out after a week of knowing the pair.

"I'll cut her extensions and glue them to Luke's eyebrows."

<><><><><><>

Exactly a month had passed. Y/N had ordered Crystal and Michael to not speak a word of where she was because she didn't want to see Luke. Instead, she found a small apartment to live in, while she gathered her wits to find a better place.

She knew it was petty, but she didn't have the care to feel guilty.

Luke on the other hand, was going insane and harbored so much regret surrounding his decision that he couldn't bare to think straight.

Moving in with Suzanna did nothing to make the home feel less empty. Y/N had made sure to collect the rest of her things while Luke was out.

She knew his schedule inside and out and used it to her advantage.

Luke wanted nothing more than to see her face. To hear her voice. The time apart made him realize just how deep his feelings went. The same feelings he had spent many years attempting to bury.

Now his only fear was that he would never get the chance to tell the woman how much he needs her in his life.

That, and how he would manage to get rid of the woman who he had caught sneaking out of their house at all hours of the night.

He didn't know what to expect when he entered his house to hear pornographic moans echoing from the bedroom.

He didn't feel angry. He didn't feel sad. He didn't even feel betrayed.

In fact, he couldn't contain his laughter. After all, catching her in the act of cheating on him simply opened the window for him to break up with her without the guilt.

He simply walked towards their bedroom door, which was ajar, and entered with no hesitation.

He was met with the sight of a bare assed male and a moaning Suzanna.

"I'm breaking up with you," he had a wide smile on his face, already planning his next actions with severe determination. He pulled his long curls into a small bun at the back of his head, “Please get out by tomorrow?"

He didn't leave room for her to argue, instead choosing to snatch his keys off of the bench and exit the house while Suzanna called him from behind.

The minute his backside hit the seat of his Jeep, he had the key turned in the ignition and he was dialing Crystal's phone number.

If anybody knew how to get in contact with Y/N, it would be the woman she had the closest bond to.

"What do you want, Luke?"

"Is Y/N at your house?" He asked quickly.

He was met with silence for a moment. He knew that Crystal knew where she was, but he also knew Crystal would most likely be reluctant.

"Why should I tell you? Want to go kick her out of her own house again?" He heard the malice in her voice.

It was obvious that after a month the pain would still linger. He deserved to be spoken to in such a way.

He knew he had a lot to make up for.

A deep sigh sounded through the receiver, and Crystal took another moment to reply.

"She is going to kill me for this, but I swear, you better be taking your breadstick ass over to apologise or I will kill you myself," she recited the address for an apartment not far from where Crystal and Michael now lived, and hung the phone up without another word.

He arrived at the apartment block soon after, and rushed up the stairs - not having the patience to wait for the elevator.

Number 304 shone brightly in his vision, and his heart tugged at the thought of seeing Y/N again.

He knocked with such urgency that caused the girl inside to jump out of her seat.

The door swung open and before she could close it in his face a converse covered foot was wedged between the door and the frame.

He cringed at the pain but refused to move it.

"What do you want?" Her voice was hard, and his stomach lurched at the sound. Even if she was mad, she still sounded more melodic that he ever could.

He chose to jump straight to the point, not wanting to leave room for her to reject him before he could confess.

"I have been in love with you since a few months after we met. I realised it when we were at your house, and you were doting over your baby cousin," His eyes were basically smiling, as he retrieved the fond memory. "Since that moment, I have done my best to push down how I feel about you, but I am sick of hiding it. I just broke up with Suzanna. I walked in on her with another guy, but I can't do this without you. I can't go back to that house for another minute without you there."

She was at a loss for words. He spoke so fast that it took a moment to piece his sentences together, and when she did, she couldn't help the confused look that coated her features.

"You- what?"

"I broke up with Suzanna," he had a wide smile on his face that she couldn't comprehend.

"Finally?"

"Yes. And, I have been in love with you since we were 18."

"Are you sure?" She cocked her head again.

The action made his stomach erupt in butterflies. He truly adored how she could look so cute through a simple gesture.

Y/N was genuinely confused. She knew how she felt about Luke. The month apart from him hadn't done anything to stop those feelings.

She truly had feelings stronger for him than she had for any of her past relationships. If she were to think about it, she would even say that she loved him.

"How could I not be sure?" He pinched his brows together in confusion. He grabbed both of her hands in his, leading her into the house and to the lounge where they both slumped down.

She stammered, "Where did this even come from? How?-"

He moved his hands to the side of her face, framing her confused expression.

She didn't know how to feel. For so long, Y/N had longed for Luke to notice her in such a way, and now that he is admitting that he has felt the same way about her that she had about him for so long, she was truly at a loss of words.

His eyes were full of pent up emotion. He didn't necessarily look sad, but he looked the most apologetic she had ever seen him, and she had been there through many emotions with the man,"Y/N, I'm sorry. Not just for what happened last month, but for everything I have done. I'm sorry I couldn't work up the courage to confess to you so many years ago, I'm sorry I let my jealousy ruin your relationship with Daniel, I am sorry I wasted time with other girls just to try and deny how much I truly adore you, and I am sorry that I ever thought I would be happy choosing anybody over you. I can't stand to live without you, and even if you have zero feelings for me in the same way I feel for you, would you please come back-"

She pulled his hands from her face and put her own on his before crushing her lips against his in an urgent moment of passion.

The contact was full of so much emotion, and it was the most loving kiss she had experienced from any of those who she had kissed.

It was intimate, but not rushed. Simply lips against lips; no pushing to move it deeper.

They pulled back after an unknown time, and she bumped her nose against his.

"I can't tell you how long I have wanted to do that for," she told him, feeling most of her anger melt away along with her confusion.

Instead, they both felt a love that they hadn't felt before.

"Come back, please?" He was ready to beg. Hell, he was ready to not go back to that house until she was ready to go with him.

"My name's still on the lease, you can bet your thick ass I'm coming back. But if I see one blonde hair extension, I will go on the warpath," she smirked at him, staring at his plump lips.

"I'll make sure it's spotless for your return," Luke beamed at her, feeling his nerves both escape his body and ignite at her touch.

"Good. Now get back over here and kiss me some more."

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings x reader #5sos #5 seconds of summer #crystal leigh #michael clifford #calum hood #Ashton irwin

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kemonododo · 4 years

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Decided to rewatch the whole series after seeing the finale, here's my thoughts as they come along part 3

There was an old He-man reboot that was cancelled after two seasons, season 3 was being set up as the horde conquering Eternia with He-man and his kingdom being forced into hiding as rebels. Apparently She-Ra would also appear, though knowing that show she'd be lucky to be 1/4th as interesting or engaging as our Adora. I'm saying this because, even though that cartoon was cancelled before it could finish it's story, we were lucky enough to see ours to it's end and in a way that story they wanted to tell exists here with us now. Plus I always disliked that they called themselves "The Rebellion" when they weren't really rebelling against anything, but they are now!

Poor Adora, even after all this time she still has that hero complex eating away at her, telling her she's useless unless she's serving others.

Entrapta's ramblings about space this season are very relatable.

Catra's face when she sees Glimmer be manipulated, you can see so much behind her eyes. Fear for her standing, flashbacks to her own manipulation, shock at how unprepared Glimmer is for this. Love how Horde Prime sees right through her afterwards, she has no power over him.

Poor Entrapta, she hasn't been with the other princesses since season 1, they're opinion of her has been soured by her betrayal and appearance to not care. We know she loves her friends and is trying her best, but the wound is still sore.

Horde Prime using Glimmer's dad as a bargaining chip is extra horrible when you remember that this is when she discovers he's alive.

It's great that the show takes a moment to allow Adora to come to grips with no longer having a clear destiny she can follow. She's so used to being told what to do, this is the first time she's truly making her own decisions. Agency that Shadow Weaver begins to take away from her later.

I love Catra's internal struggles in these first few episodes. She's trying to do what she's been doing, working her way up the ladder, but she can't. Not anymore. Her heart isn't in it, she knows this isn't what she wants, she's just going through the motions. Spending time with Glimmer is the only thing she enjoys, she finally slows down for a moment to just enjoy someone's company and really bond. Her turn to good isn't a 180, we see her mind working and how she comes to the decision of sacrificing herself. Seeing that Horde Prime is a complete psychopath helped of course.

I love how Horde Prime's ship has star themed beds.

I don't know how they did it, but they made Hordak recognizable among the other clones. It's like twins, once you get to know them the difference is obvious. You can look at a clone and see he's Hordak, yet he looks identical to the others. It's remarkable.

These flashbacks Catra has, wandering the empty corridors that her decisions have left her in, it's a testimony to how far she's come that they don't reaffirm Adora's betrayal to her anymore. She wants to absolve herself of her sins, and she decides a sacrifice is the best way. She wants to go out on one good grace, redemption by death, but that action and her apology is what makes Adora sure she still has good in her. Catra has shown she is willing to be good, and that alone is enough for Adora to give her another chance.

This is the first time the best friend squad has been together since Glimmer pulled the queen card, a lot of the wounds are still fresh. I definitely think this is the point Bow and her truly realize they love each other, they probably had a schoolyard crush but the realization of where they are without each other and how much they mean to each other, something really deep sparked here.

The Star Siblings are here to show what life under Prime is like, but also as a quick show of the Rebellion's message expanding. That's a little underdeveloped though, which is mostly a product of time.

Adora's little "she's not my friend" bit is adorable but a bit out of place imo, Adora hasn't really been this outwardly lovestruck over Catra before, and while Adora has decided to give her another chance I don't think that reignition of love would have happened yet.

The thought that Entrapta went out to find that LUVD crystal to bring with her in the slightest hope she would find Hordak and that he would recognize it. Plus the noises she makes and the fact she immediately adopts Wrong Hordak and that we get to see her without her mask, ah she is so cute!

Hive Mind Catra is terrifying and tragic, it feels so violating. He talks about how she wanted Adora to save her, how afraid she was when she was assimilated. We see that numbness and how it would seem appealing to her, but under the cracks Catra is still suffering, and Adora promises to bring her back, tells her how much she cares about her, transforms into She-Ra to save her. And finally, they are together again.

I love Adora constantly checking on Catra, this is the first time in years she has been with her, she just wants to be with her. Catra starts falling back into her old ways though, that anger still persistent, and Adora's honeymoon phase is over already and for a second we're all afraid nothing has changed. You can see Catra doesn't want to make that mistake again, and she finally lets Adora help her, and likewise Adora finally steps back and lets Catra help her too. They've both grown so much, and that growth is what allows their relationship to blossom.

It's great that Spinnerella and Netossa get their time to shine this season. Their arc here parallels Catra and Adora's earlier, and I would say it's unfortunate they have to go through this, but I love the angst.

Double Trouble! Back for a five minute appearance where they admittedly don't do much, but hey they're fun to watch and have some great lines so it's worth it.

Catra in a healthy relationship, with friends that don't fear her and people she sees as equals. People she can just joke around with and be teased by. You love to see it.

Melog is a pretty important addition, as he gives Catra someone that she can fully trust without the baggage from before. He's literally her therapy support pet, and he's the one that stops her from running away again.

Shadow Weaver's little speech here is great, she's been told that the First One's made the magic stronger when they did the exact opposite. It's a commentary on colonialism, "we brought you civilization, our conquest was good actually" is a very common lie.

Catra holding Adora's hand, Glitra kiss, Best Friend Squad hug, Catra's smirk when Adora says she's right. You love to see it.

I love how Noelle made a self-insert character and also decided she should be evil. "So the only person I'm fighting here is... My own wife" is a mega ouch.

I love Wrong Hordak so much, he not only shows how the Horde Clones are just regular people without the influence of Prime but he is also ridiculously cute.

Did I mention how much I love the new She-Ra look? I liked the old one but damn this blows it out of the park.

I will admit the Heart having a failsafe a d Mara having a rebellion of her own is a bit out of nowhere, but it was a nice reveal of the origin of Grayskull.

I'm a huge sucker for friendship saving the day messages I admit. Not the rainbow lazer kind, but that love and kindness reaching through Prime's control is beautiful. Plus it's wonderful for Catra to see what real friendship is like.

This is a great little moment with Castaspella and Glimmer, this is the first time they've seen Micah since his death.

I love Shadow Weaver so much, she sees Adora and immediately shifts into child manipulation mode. This is the first time I'm actually getting pissed at her though, obviously because she's starting to drive her chisel between Catradora but also because she's reversing all the development Adora has had up until this point.

Hordak: "Go, then maybe these memories and imperfections will leave me " Entrapta: "Remember, your imperfections are beautiful!" The fuck I'm crying in the club again.

I love this Catradora moment, "what do you want Adora" "I have to do this". Obviously their relationship isn't going to be easy after all these years, and both these girl's flaws and insecurities are flaring up again and driving each other apart.

Adora tells off Shadow Weaver for good, she ruins people. This is a huge moment for this character, SW has convinced herself she is the good guy and that she is making the necessary actions to save the world, but this is the one moment she really looks back at herself.

"Adora chose Shadow Weaver, not me. Adora doesn't want me, not like I want her" oof ouch my soul. That with Adora's memories, it's clear they can't just go back to the way it was anymore. They're love is too important to them now.

My headcanon is that Shadow Weaver is drunk here. She's slurring, she's drinking, her daughter is going to sacrifice herself. Maybe her decision to die was one she made totally wasted lol.

Catra promised Adora she'd look out for her, and the soft version of the promise song in the background. Ow ow ow ow my heart.

Glimbow canon!

Mara is here, telling Adora the same thing Razz told her in the 3rd episode of the entire show. Stop looking for what other people tell you to do, you have a choice.

Spinnetossa, Seamista, Entrapdak. It's cliche, but love conquers all is a message I'll never tire from.

I started tearing up with the Glimmer Micah fight, and full on sobbing when Angella appeared. Something that didn't really stop.

I was mixed on SW's sacrifice, but I think it works. Each of them were trying to take the selfish way out, to die for the ones they love. So it's fitting that SW is the one that does it.

Fuck yeah Hordak! What a monumentous but short lived moment.

CATRADORA!!! God, the confession, how Catra whispers it but how Adora hears it as a scream, how it wasn't Catra that made Adora weak but infact the exact opposite, how they're both so surprised and relieved that these feelings they've felt for years are real and strong and true and reciprocated. It's the best conclusion possible for them and it makes me cry so much.

This beautiful moment, where Adora saves Hordak, the ultimate repayal for him saving her all those years ago. He remembers her. Fuck I'm sobbing again.

Scorpia sees Catra again after leaving her, and of course she hugs her.

And it's over. The best show ever made. Netflix automatically resets your watch history and here I am looking at the button to play Season 1 Episode 1 again. This 1 and a half year journey feels like a millenia, it feels so long ago that Adora first picked up that sword. This is a show I will cherish forever, I can see myself binge watching in the retirement home already.

#she ra #spop #analysis

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levyfiles · 6 years

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one thing i've noticed about the anti problem in this fandom is that it seems... pretty limited to this fandom. the last rpf fandom i was in had basically no antis. there were tons of fics (mostly "x reader") but nobody complained about the whole "they're real people" thing. heck, i've never seen an anti-sta/n/d/rew sentiment. idk what made this fandom different

Ooh nonnybabe, you’re preaching to the choir over here. I’m in the middle of writing me some demon!Shane so I’m in a mood to go off!

Listen, I’m coming from the depths of a fandom revolving entirely around variety shows, reality tv, documentaries and bands with members older than me where I’ve been for over five years. Rpf goes with the territory there and while I can absolutely guarantee there were people who weren’t into it, the stunning thing is that those people simply stated it as is, ‘Not in it for the ships but love the content.”

I think turning your hobbies/interests/dislikes/likes into online activism is a pathology developed on this website where people frequently run activism blogs. There is nothing wrong with this practice but there is a Huge difference between cultivating a conversation about racism, transphobia, human trafficking, feminism, serial killer worship and xenophobia in a world rife with battles for basic humanity and finding a show you enjoy, discovering that the community who loves it too, and then dedicating your time towards ensuring that anyone who has a blog within the community does it according to your own standards all the while using sociological rhetoric to make it sound like you’re setting a precedent for good in the world.

The truth that a lot of these people don’t seem to understand is that the people they’re fighting on behalf of don’t give more than a shit about this strawman cause because it’s true, they’re real living people out there making the content they love, living private lives, regulating their public image (even encouraging mental headcanons about their alternate personalities presented in postmortems). They’re not spending their time scouring for blogs to find out if anyone is creating fictional universes where they’re not heterosexual. Antis claim that people will get out of hand, attack the guys, their public relationships, and make the entire show about the ship, but it’s not even Sh/yan shippers that are saturating the regular content because we regulate ourselves; when someone forgets themselves and posts in the main tag, other shippers kindly message them and inform them which tag is best to use.

We’ve all noticed it. The only shipping content I see in the main tag is errant people with no concern for Ryan and Shane, they’re simply expressing disgust for something that wouldn’t impact them otherwise. On my end, I’m happy when someone posts their messy ass take in the tags because then I’ve got a name to block instead of having to go through the process of scanning and rerouting IPs for antis’ anonymous asks I delete once I’ve scrolled to them. And here’s the even more bizarre thing, these asks are violent, angry, rife with personal attacks and a deep desire to make me and others like me-- real living human beings they actually have access to--feel like shit. Self-righteous hatred and attacking strangers who aren’t hurting anyone for being into something you’re not into is silly and childish. Antis aren’t saving shit and they’re not making the community better; you don’t have to like it but curate your shit and leave people alone.

I’ve managed several healthy months of this experience without interacting with anyone toxic, deleting attention-hungry anons, and having a good time. I don’t even mind hanging with people who aren’t shippers-- hell, I got like four different non shipping people in my instant messages consistently who I Love talking to about ghosts, religion, movies, demons or mythology; one of y’all even came at me about Tom Cruise in Interview with the Vampire (you know who you is) because ultimately, we’re all here about the same two guys, the same show. and god forbid talented writers and artists coming from queer perspectives wanting to write and create within the fictional universes they can relate to. All the while we got actual antis going off about Shane being their bicon, being a demon, being Bigfoot, mothman or whatever the fuck, reveling in the details of his relationship with his girlfriend, putting themselves in her perspective and then turning around and shitting on anyone who say Shane and Ryan’s relationship is gorgeous and romantic depicted under the fictional lens of their friendship becoming something more. I think that says more about their views on Ryan and absolutely their views on heteronormativity than it does about protecting people who aren’t even in the shipping tag nor keeping mine or any blog on bookmark.

Yo, that’s all I gotta say right now. Obviously none of this is to attack you, nonnyhoney; your ask just inspired some broiling ire in my heart I needed off my chest.

#discourse #once again I'm always happy to pick up the conversation off anon if you wanna message me #Anonybae

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soap-brain · 7 years

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Haha I'll give you a happy prompt ( there's never enough spirk in this world ) : Spock realizes his feelings for Jim and just completely FREAKS OUT ( in a "this isn't logical this human spends 99% of his time finding new ways of annoying me SURAK HELP ME" way ). So he starts avoiding Jim ( like, puts himself on beta shift, pratically runs everytime they're in the same room because my poor boy is traumatized) and oc, Jim is NOT happy about Spock's behavior. I guess this could be a "wtf" prompt XD

... but i finally finished it. god, i’ve been studying so much the past few days, and then i accidentally wrote You Always Meet Twice and ... yeah, i know.

anyways. finally!!

since @shamanship requested “TOS Spirk get together”, I filled both prompts in one.

Under the cut: EmotionsShip: TOS SpirkRating: GenWordcount: 1529

Pesky Human Emotions

The first thing Spock notices about his new superior officer is that he has a pleasant voice.

Over the years he notices many things - James Kirk has kind eyes, gentle hands, an intriguing sense of humor, he’s intelligent, witty, communicates well, has a variety of interests.

Spock gets hurt on an away mission - not badly, and he is fully capable of suppressing the pain until they are back on the Enterprise. Captain Kirk, however, is extremely worried and demands Spock to beam up straight away.

“I didn’t want to see you in pain, Spock,” he says as an explanation, with a smile Spock has noted Kirk seems to frequently employ around him.

The first time Spock fails to complete an assignment on time he is, for lack of a better word, ashamed. Idly he wonders whether another Vulcan, a full-blooded one, would not have failed. He also wonders what Captain Kirk’s reaction will be. Certainly there will be a punishment of sorts; after all, Spock’s work is of high importance for the Enterprise.

“God, Spock, are you okay?” is what Kirk says when he answers to Spock’s call. “Look, for all you say you didn’t catch that weird strain of the flu - I want you to report to medbay and have Dr McCoy check you over. Your work can wait. Your health is more important for the Enterprise - for me - than a report.”

Incidents like such repeat themselves. Kirk also frequently invites Spock to his quarters for dinner. He is a good conversationalist and it is pleasant to talk with him. He also shows himself interested in Vulcan culture, asking intelligent questions but not pressing.

They take up chess eventually and Spock finds himself looking forward to their regular matches. Kirk portrays an exemplarily positive attitude towards Spock, even going so far as to tease him on occasion, which Spock understands is a display of affection.

“I trust you,” Kirk says one day during a very delicate away mission. Spock’s plan, which he had had to start without having explained it to the captain, ends up saving the entire team. It is something Spock could and should be proud of. Instead all he can think about is that Captain Kirk trusts him.

They are sitting chained in a dungeon of a lesser evolved race that caught them during a mission that was supposed to be simple observation. The cave-like structure is cold, even more so since they have had their uniform shirts taken away. Kirk fell asleep eventually, but Spock is too cold and too uncomfortable to do so. Instead, he analyzes their surroundings. After there is nothing more to see, he observes Kirk. It is certainly not news that the Human is physically attractive. He has a great many desirable features - a healthy, golden skin color, shining golden hair, kind brown eyes, broad shoulders, a well-muscled torso, strong hands … a pleasing face, too. He is also a man of good character. Spock can count himself lucky (if he did believe in luck) to serve under a man like him.

“Call me Jim. We’re off-duty.” Jim. It sits easy on his tongue. Of course Spock would never call him that on duty.

Jim laughs easily, and Spock finds he enjoys finding ways of making him laugh.

They huddle for warmth on an icy planet, and Spock finds that Captain Kirk - Jim has a pleasant smell. He is also tactile, but Spock finds he does not mind being touched by him. He is getting rather attached to his captain, to an extent where he begins wondering what Jim is doing when he is not in the room with Spock.

He walks in on Jim just stepping out of the shower one afternoon. It is the first time this happened, even though they have shared a bathroom the entire time Spock is serving on the Enterprise. Jim laughs and tells him not to worry about it. Spock does not worry, he merely … cannot stop thinking about the Human naked.

In fact, he cannot stop thinking about Jim at all, missing a touch moments after Jim took it away, subconsciously standing closer to him, even initiating touches himself. He finds himself drawing chess games out far longer than necessary, often forfeiting winning.

Jim Kirk is prone to ripping his shirt. Spock wishes he were even more careless with his uniform. It is fascinating to watch him work out, as the workout clothes do sit quite well on him.

Spock begins delivering each report on its own, simply so he has an excuse to see Jim more often. It is becoming extremely distracting. Jim need only smile at him, and Spock is infinitely more happy for the rest of the day.

It has to stop.

Spock begins meditating each night as opposed to only once per week, attempting to control himself. The cracks in his façade are becoming unseemly and unprofessional. He almost smiles at Jim, actively attempts to touch his fingers because of the thoroughly enjoyable sensation it produces, even goes so far as to make up scenarios that would somehow involve either of them having to embrace the other.

But meditation seems to make it worse. While at first it rebuilds Spock’s cool exterior, his slightly changed behavior is making Jim pout, which is hardly something he can resist thinking about. It is - cute, for lack of a better word.

It is during one of his communications with his mother that some things begin to make sense.

“You know, Spock, you’ve told me an awful lot about that Jim of yours. When am I going to meet him?”

“‘Meet him’, mother?”

She looks almost affronted. Perhaps an Earth emotion Spock is not too familiar with. “Why, yes of course. I thought a mother had the right to meet her son-in-law.”

“Mother, I am afraid you are misunderstanding. He is not - we are not - romantically involved.”

“But you like him so much. Tell me, Spock, can’t you stop thinking about him? About his eyes, perhaps, his voice, his touch? Does your heart begin beating faster when he’s around? Do you want to stand closer to him, embrace him, perhaps? Do you wish to spend more and more time with him?”

Spock can only stare. “I have not … told you any of these things …”

“And yet I know? Spock, what you are feeling isn’t friendship anymore … it’s love.”

Love. That is unacceptable. And since it only appeared after prolonged exposure to J- to Captain Kirk, it is only logical that it will fade over time if Spock lessens the exposure.

He requests being put on beta shift the next morning. Kirk looks like he is experiencing - an emotion, but he agrees.

Furthermore, there is no point in Spock turning in every report by hand. Submitting them virtually works just as well. And with his new interest in botany it is crucial that Spock spends a great amount of time in the laboratories. There is no time for chess.

Kirk accepts that. He does however come to the botany labs quite often to enquire about the status of Spock’s current project, and Spock does not always have the heart to turn him away. It makes him look … sad. Spock does not like it.

“I know it’s only been a month since we last talked but - Spock, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, mother.”

“Is that so? You look sad. Is everything okay?”

“Affirmative.”

“He turned you down, didn’t he? Oh, darling, I am so sorry.”

“I beg your pardon, mother, but I do not understand.”

“Well, you told him about your feelings, and he doesn’t reciprocate them, does he? Your captain.”

“That must have been a misunderstanding. I do not hold any feelings other than loyalty towards Captain Kirk.”

“Spock. Don’t lie to your mother. Please.”

“Very well. Mother, you must understand that it is improper of me to desire anything other than friendship from my captain. Furthermore, I cannot allow myself the vulnerability of giving in to base instinct. Forgive me, but I am not human. And I have no desire to be.”

“No, of course not. But - Spock, do yourself a favor. Do me a favor. Tell him. If he doesn’t feel the same way, he’ll without doubt let you down gently and you’ll have closure. But if he does feel the same, you’ll forever regret not taking the opportunity. It’s simple. Tell him your feelings towards him are more than platonic. He’ll understand.”

“I - mother, I am unsure whether that is the correct way to go about things.”

“He’s human. Of course it is. Now go. He’s just next door, isn’t he? Go over there and tell him. You were brave enough to be the first Vulcan in Starfleet, you can do this. It’s just a couple words. Trust him, Spock.”

Spock does.

Spock ends the call and stands up, leaving his quarters and requesting entrance at Jim’s.

“Spock!” The Human’s eyes are soft and there’s a smile on his lips. “Come in! What can I do for you?”

Spock takes a deep breath.

i hope this was more or less what you were looking for :p

sorrynotsorry for the cliffhanger

Spirk Tag List: @jim-kirk-grab-n-kiss @toosouthernforspace @igottrekked @burnhamofvulcan

Everything Tag List: @bottomkirk @gumballgladiator @sixclawsdragon @logicheartsoul @kagenightray @jimothyandspocko @logicallythyla @needles-and-ink @headcanonsilove @i-am-a-real-human-being @fallenpiestiel @skyeries @alanna342 @shamanship @startrektrash @lesbiantasha

prompts are err... technically still open, i’m just slow af :p but still, please shoot something my way!

#spirk #jim kirk #spock #star trek #star trek tos #fanfic #my writing #dianaatrevor #ask #answered

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