Choices and Regrets, Chapter 4
Title: Choices and Regrets, Chapter 4: Stress Fractures
Fandom: 911, Dark Matter
Pairings: Buddie, HenRen, other pairings
Summary:
If you could go back and change the choices in your life, would you? Would you love the same people, go on the same vacations, have the same career? Or would you have regrets?
After the lightning strike, an unexpected visitor makes Buck question all the choices he’s ever made. From dropping out of the Seals to never making a move on Eddie because the time hasn’t been right. He’s going to get an up close and personal look at what could have been because another version of Buck is focused on taking his choices away from him—including Eddie and Christopher Diaz.
Tags/warnings: dark themes, dubious consent, explicit sex, kidnapping, murder, major character death, drug use, identity fraud
Buck stands awkwardly under the light, blinking at Eddie, not understanding his question. “What?”
Eddie, seemingly realizing they are in public, marches past him. His shoulders are rigid, and he’s jutting out his jaw, which means he’s biting his tongue. “Fine. We’ll talk in the truck if you need to continue this charade.”
“Eddie, I’m not faking,” Buck protests, following along behind his best friend. Eddie might be mad, but he slows down to match Buck’s hobbling pace. The look Eddie shoots over his shoulder at Buck is of disbelief, and it hurts to see it aimed at him.
“Sure.”
“I’m not,” Buck protests weakly.
He’s not pouting. He’s too old to pout, according to Eddie, and it just makes him look constipated.
“Whatever you learn in squid school, did it also give you a personality transplant? Or are you just that good of an actor?”
“I’m not acting!” Buck is starting to get offended. Eddie should trust him, and this flagrant suspicion of his is wrong in all the worst ways.
Read chapter 4 here on AO3
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The job is good because it gives me somewhere to go in the daytime, somewhere that isn’t the sea. The sea is where you are, your domain. I forsook that right when I swam to shore that day, when I left you there. In some ways it's like keeping you company, when I sit and watch the waves. It feels like you are trying to talk to me, when I hear the sea at night. I don’t think I want to hear what you have to say though. Besides, you talked enough when you were alive.
I know you aren’t here, at the pool. I know for a fact that your body still has not washed up, and you are gone. Completely gone. Still, there are several types of ghost. What is left of you, and what is remembered of you—and I can remember you anywhere.
A child shoves another child and I try to keep my face under control, stop it from smiling. Perhaps they will become best friends. Perhaps they will never speak to each other again. Perhaps I will get fired for not dealing with what is quickly escalating into a fight.
Because having two drownings on my conscience isn’t ideal, I do eventually interfere. I put both girls in time out, and nod at the other lifeguard who hates me. Not that there’s proof of this, but most people hate me these days. I imagine you do, I imagine you seething at the bottom of the ocean, plotting some elaborate revenge. I imagine you showing up on my doorstep dripping wet every night, just to torment me.
Of course whenever I look out the window, no one is there.
I ask the girls why they are fighting, even though I don’t care, and when eventually they both stop talking I tell them that I met my best friend through a fight here. Neither seem interested, because some lifeguard telling her life story is the sort of thing children find tiresome, but I barely speak to anyone these days, and I want to tell someone about you.
They promise to stop fighting, and I tell them I’ll let them back in the pool in ten minutes.
nano exerpt <3
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Announce Your Camp NaNoWriMo Project!
The official Camp NaNoWriMo challenge starts on April 1! Camp NaNoWriMo is a virtual writing retreat where you can set your own focused writing goal for the 30 days of April, complete with knowledgeable counselors, fun activities, and groups of both new and old friends.
How does it work?
1. Decide on a Goal — During Camp, you can set your own word-count goal (you’re not locked into 50,000 words!), and you can officially tackle any kind of writing project, novel or not. If you want to track a non-word goal like time or pages, here's a handy conversion chart.
2. Announce Your Project — You have two options for Camp: set a goal for a brand new project, or set a goal for a project you’ve already started. Just be sure to check “Associate with a NaNoWriMo event” and select the current Camp NaNoWriMo event. You'll be able to start updating your word count when Camp officially begins on April 1!
3. Prepare to Write — You can use Camp to work on any kind of writing project, so check out our Camp Tracks and decide which resources are most useful to you!
What else happens during Camp NaNoWriMo?
Published authors will act as your Camp Counselors, sending advice in Camp Care Packages throughout April. Plus, keep an eye on HQ’s virtual events for a packed schedule of Virtual Write-Ins, webcasts, Zoom meetups, and more.
Find out more about Camp NaNoWriMo.
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we need more representation for the people who want to be a part of nanowrimo so bad but do not have the capacity for it. bc personally trying to balance being a full-time student, mental health, a job, and writing over 1,000 words a day is rlly difficult and i have tried for three years to participate but can't ever finish it.
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You're doing Nano this year??? 👀Tell us about your project?
I am!! My nano project is called "every fic I've ever started on my google docs all at once" and requires a spreadsheet for me to keep track of. my adhd is loving it.
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im too tired for it today i think but i am VERY excited to write a certain bathtub scene tomorrow.
(there will be hair washing. they are currently very filthy in a not fun way. if they make it up the stairs that is)
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(some of these are wips i’ve started but am planning to start from scratch due to not working on them and needing a new approach in order to actually make them work, so if any of these sound familar, that’s probably why)
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Books of 2023. ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE by Gabriel García Márquez.
Currently reading! This has been languishing on the TBR for a While™ and came highly recommended by a bookstore coworker. I'm only a couple chapters in, so far, and the family tree is ~Messy~, but the prose is lyrical and lovely!
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Rhapsodic
"I told you, darling, that this was dangerous. You knew-deep down you always knew-that I'm no good." Raisa knew better than to trust someone like him. As unlikely allies navigating a world on the brink of chaos as well as the threat of a monstrous transformation looming over their heads, all it took was one simple word for her to fall. Astarion x OC
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me after writing 22 words for the day: ah! now just 99 more times
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still a little under 6k behind in nano (at 7500 words!) & like not sweating that bad about it??? hoping to get at least 2500 tomorrow bc I didn’t really start writing till late today & still got out 1200ish words so livestream pull thru! but I have a really busy rest of week so we’ll see! a couple production deadlines & an appt that’ll take an entire day lol & I don’t tend to write a lot on weekends due to family things so WE’LL SEE???? anyway random rambly update lol
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I think I need a tumblr detox. if y'all see me active on this blog in november please yell at me to go write or study or smth
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ok while i’m ignoring the fact that i have a 9am lecture in six hours does anyone want to listen to me rant about nanowrimo
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Big Announcement about my NaNoWriMo project on patreon! This post is for everyone! Anyone interested in getting sneak peaks at my next book, head over!
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Sooo here's a tiny snippet of the 1.5k words I managed to write this morning:
The movie is paused.
“Alright, who caused that smell? We cannot finish this movie if you guys are going to bring in pet skunks or whatever happened,” the event host announces, glancing around the crowd. Everyone’s whispering about the smell, but no one fesses up. “If no one admits guilt, we will cancel the rest of the event,” the host attempts again, but still no one steps up to the plate. So, heaving a sigh, she says, “Alright, then. Event’s cancelled. Go home or to your Halloween parties because this is no longer being run.”
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