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dilfsfordinner · 2 months

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summary- toji fails to prevent a completely preventable messy incident from occurring, involving his son

pairing- husband toji x fem!reader

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“You wanna do it?” Toji grinned, eyebrows raised as he watched little Megumi tug the ratchet from his grasp, waddling towards the raised car, brave enough to face the thing he’d thought a transformer just months prior.

Your car was in dire need of an oil change and being the caring husband that he was, Toji took up his place as mechanic for the day, his worry about typical shop workers taking advantage of women evident in his pleas for you to just stay home and let him do it.

Megumi also took up his place as the incredibly curious and stubborn one year old, his job apparently to make Toji’s work as hard as humanly possible, every babble or questionable crash tearing Toji’s attention away from the task at hand, which is why he stopped trying, and just let his son indulge in his childlike curiosity.

Of course, you would lose your mind if you knew that your baby was around such a large machine, but Toji knew himself and his capabilities, his reflexes practically inhuman, so he didn’t really mind a little thing running around his feet, as long as he kept an eye out.

“Alright, Megs, give it back,” Toji said gently, hand curling open to reveal a waiting palm, Toji realizing that the young boy did not intend to help him underneath the car. Rather, he’d started a game of tag, little feet scurrying to the other side of the garage, awaiting his father’s move.

Refusing to let a one year old bruise his competitive spirit, Toji used his skills to be across the room in a split second, large hands grabbing Megumi before he could run away, a loud slew of giggles leaving the young boy’s lips, Toji smiling as he held him up with only two hands, walking towards the car like he was holding a feral cat.

Setting the babbling child down, Toji got down on his level, kneeling to tell Megumi to stay back and watch for a second. Pulling himself under the car, Toji then began to use Megumi like a little assistant, asking for tools as needed. “Wrench please” and similar phrases continued for a while before Toji was ready to actually do the task at hand.

Humming in approval at his handiwork, Toji made one final request to the boy sitting beside his feet. “Can you get the jug of oil for me, please?” he asked gently, hands busy holding the port above him closed, his ears catching an excited “yes” and the patter of running feet retreating farther into the garage.

Too preoccupied to notice the unusual length of time it was taking for his son to grab the requested bottle, Toji continued his tinkering before an odd smack sounded, glugging sounds following soon after.

Pausing his movements, Toji craned his neck to try and see his son but before he could even question what had happened, a familiar sniffle sounded at his feet, loud cries flowing from his baby’s mouth.

Sighing, Toji quickly screwed the oil duct tight, and pulled himself from under the car. The sight he emerged to was certainly a surprising one. There, right next to all of his discarded tools, was an oil-covered Megumi, his whole body completely drenched with the thick, black substance.

Letting out a sympathetic laugh and sweet “It’s okay”s, Toji scooped up his crying child, tutting as the dripping kid hid his face in his dad’s chest, trying to hide or remove the liquid, Toji couldn’t tell.

Completely clueless to the situation outside, you were busy in the kitchen, making a snack for your husband as a thank you. For the first time in an hour, familiar footsteps sounded behind you as you chopped up some vegetables, smiling to yourself as you expected two arms to come wrap around you. What you didn’t expect was to hear the wails of your baby boy, and you especially couldn’t have prepared yourself to see him in the flesh.

“What happened,” you gasped as Toji held the young boy to his chest, a black trail of droplets gathering around his feet as you rushed up to the two of them. Cradling little Megumi’s face, oil coated your hands, anger bubbling inside of you, the only funnel being a slap to your husband’s shoulder, narrowed eyes turning up to meet his own.

“I told you to leave him in here,” you huffed, your angry tone fizzling into sympathetic coos as your attention turned back to your son. “It was an accident,” Toji’s voice had that humorous lilt to it, one that was really good at making your very motherly nature less worrisome. “It happens to workers all the time, he’ll be okay.”

And he was right, because after what seemed to be hours of scrubbing and a whole bottle of dawn dish soap later, the previously oily Megumi was squeaky clean, and incredibly happy as he munched away on his dinner. Toji couldn’t help but retell the story a million times, ignoring your reprimanding words as he fell into a fit of laughter, which eventually had your lips starting to pull into a smile, Megumi none the wiser, his memory about the incident already wiped away.

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#toji fluff #jjk #toji x female reader #toji x reader #baby megumi #dad!toji #mamaguro #jjk fluff #jjk x fem!reader #toji fushiguro fluff #toji zenin x reader #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #dad toji #jujutsu kaisen fluff

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fushipurro · 3 months

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firefighter Toji !!! also hi, I hope you don’t mind me coming into your inbox to share some little thoughts and you can ignore this if you’d like !!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on that, the idea of him cracking jokes about saving cats from trees or even starting to call you his damsel in distress if you ever ask him to help you with something, even if it’s as simple as opening a stubborn jar

or how baby megumi would be so proud to tell everyone his dad is a firefighter and always wants to wear his dads hat that is too big for his little head !!

omg i love these ideas, and i don't mind at all!! i'm really happy you sent them cause now you got the ball rolling for me to go ham :3 i hope you enjoy these thoughts and i'd love to do more in the future ♡

☆ content: mostly sfw (nsfw under the cut, MDNI), domestic fluff, suggestive themes, foreplay, rough sex, chokeplay, creampie

☆ firefighter!toji who at first thought saving cats from trees was just something you'd see on TV, but realized soon after joining the force how often of an occurrence it actually is. the two of you started keeping a tally sheet because of it, always asking when he came home from a shift "how many cats did you save today?" he soon starts to text you photos of the cats he rescues knowing how much you love them and would want to see. if he's able, he'll take selfies with them just for you.

☆ firefighter!toji who started calling you his damsel in distress for fun, but quickly made it into one of the more common pet names he'll use for you. if he catches you struggling with anything, he'll be right behind you, smirking ear to ear asking, "does my damsel need some help?" you swear he purposely tightens all the jars in the house so you have no choice but to ask him to "save you", his beloved damsel.

☆ firefighter!toji who always comes home wearing his uniform jacket and hat just for you and megs to enjoy. he loves watching megumi struggle to wear it, and even more when you're right there taking pictures of it to frame on the wall. toji keeps one of these photos tucked away in his wallet and another of you in a nice cocktail dress and heels wearing his jacket after he had to bring you to the station during one of your dates for a sudden fire call.

☆ firefighter!toji who megumi always draws pictures of in school, always excited when his father comes around to show him off to his classmates. if he's able to, toji will sometimes pick megumi up from school in one of the rigs, throwing his hat on the boy and letting him play with the lights and sirens as they leave the lot. when christmas comes around, the station always dresses toji up as santa to toss candy to the neighborhood kids, megumi right there with him to help as his favorite little elf.

☆ firefighter!toji who loves when he can bring you the station to show you off for all the pancake breakfasts and warm weather grilling events they host. just seeing you in those beautiful sundresses always brings a smile to his face and even more when he sneaks you off to his rig to see how you look underneath the fabric.

☆ firefighter!toji who loves when you visit the station in your free time to deliver baked goods or a homecooked meal if he's had a busy day. you can't help but feel your core heat up seeing him in his uniform pants, topless with a sheen of sweat from working out, and when he slides down the pole just to meet you? you can bet you'll have him all to yourself at a moment's notice behind a closed door until the dispatch alarm inevitably goes off.

☆ firefighter!toji who has to try his hardest not to break his pager when it goes off during sex, swearing it always happens right before one of you climaxes. he never does though, not when he knows there's lives to save and every second counts but boy does it frustrate him. as he flies out the door, he always manages to kiss you and to wait up for him. when he does come home after a call, he's quick to express just how pent up he is, turning it into an intense lovemaking session that leaves you marked more than normal and needing to be carried around after like the damsel you are.

the two of you had just finished enjoying a nice dinner together and were enjoying the rest of your evening deep into some foreplay. toji originally wanted to take his sweet time catching up with you and your body after some busy shifts. the recent holidays had kept him away more often and he missed you more than words could say.

he barely had his shirt off, biding his time worshipping his damsel's body before even thinking of pleasuring himself. with that said, his cock strained against the fabric that held him back from plunging right into the clothed heat he was rubbing himself against. toji had his hands wrapped around your breasts, tongue flicking over each bud drawing you closer and closer to your high until all of a sudden, ~BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP~

your bodies froze instantly, going silent as he listened intently to whether or not his station was being dispatched and the nature of the call.

"fuckin' hell." he growled, reaching for his shirt. you stood up as well, throwing on your silk robe and going to gather his wallet and keys to remote start it for him.

when he met you at the front door, you reached up to kiss his scowling face, handing the man his belongings. "good luck, be safe, and i love you, toji." the three phrases you always tell him before he leaves as a blessing of sorts.

"love you too, y/n. i'll be back as soon as i can." he cupped your chin, staring deep into your eyes with a cold and desiring expression. his voice went low, causing your body to shiver with anticipation, "don't play with yourself before i'm home, i intend to finish what we started."

after he left, you waited by the window to watch him speed off before returning to your shared room. it hit you now being back in the sheets that he had unintentionally edged you and you ached for that sweet ecstasy to take you. but he gave you his orders, and all you could do was lay there staring at the ceiling, twiddling your thumbs to distract yourself from the heat pooling between your legs.

it was an agonizing wait, but once you heard the front door slam, you shot up to see the man already making haste towards you from the bedroom door.

"welcome home, toj─" his lips crashed into yours before you could finish your greeting, the force pushing you back against the sheets. you were familiar with how rough he can be, but this already felt more intense.

toji's body desperately clinged to yours in any way possible. his knee pressed against your exposed core, one hand holding your jaw to give him more access to mark your neck up. your fingers found purchase between his raven locks as you felt a knot tightening at your waist.

"fucking," he started to speak between starved kisses, undoing his pants as fast as humanly possible. "yet another guy who thought," he fisted himself a few times, lining the angry tip up to your entrance. "deep frying a frozen turkey was a good idea. fuck─"

a groan left both of your mouths as he pushed his way inside. he hooked his arm under your knee, drawing it upwards to give him better leverage to reach nice and deep to your g-spot.

"can't these people stick to stuffin' their birds in the damn oven safely?" he can feel your body clench around his cock, inviting him further as his pace grew. it didn't go unnoticed by the man, "oh? did my sweet girl hear something she likes?" he laughed through his nose with a smirk that reached ear to ear, his gaze like that of a predator. "bet you want me to stuff you, huh?"

you nodded your head feverishly, clinging to the sheets until your knuckles turned white.

"use your words, princess." his voice low and cold, betraying the way his body yearned for yours. "lemme hear my damsel beg for me to help."

"fuck fuck, please toji! i need you~" you whined, raising your hands above your head and rubbing your face against your bicep as your mind went crazy with lust.

toji reached for your other leg, throwing them over his thighs until he was perfectly between you. upon doing so, he leaned down, coiling his hand around your throat and pressing into the sides.

"eyes on me, sweetheart." your breath hitched as waves of pleasure coursed through you. "need to see that pretty face of yours when i stuff you full of my cum."

the vibrations from your moans ran right through his fingers and straight to his core. your high washing over you like a tidal wave with his length trapped in a vice grip. oh how toji wants to compare this force of yours against the jaws of life, betting you'd come out on top without a doubt.

he continued pumping you through your high, overstimulating you once his thumb hit your pearl. your fingers clawed at the veins running through his arms, eventually freeing your throat for you to breathe. toji moved his grip down to your waist to steady himself, chasing his pent up orgasm as another came under you that unraveled him. a deep growl leaving the man as you moaned his name freely.

he accomplished his goal in stuffing you, as evident from the thick glops of seed spilling out from inside you around his cock. "so good f'me, y/n." you could tell he was finally starting to relax from his earlier frustrations as his tone softened up.

"toji~" you mewled, looking up at him, panting in an attempt to catch your breath.

the man leaned down over you, caressing your face. he could see the red handprints forming over your body, sure to bruise later. "i know, baby. let me make it up to you, okay?" his lips came down to place gentle kisses over all the angry welts forming with praise in between. "you're such a good girl, my sweet damsel."

after that rough bout, he kept the next few rounds slow and sensual, moving you to the bath as he cleaned you off and carried you back to a clean bed. once there, toji pulled you against his chest as he whispered to you all the details from the turkey incident like a bedtime story. his fingers caressed over your stomach while his words lulled you into a deep slumber before he followed after. the next morning, toji made sure to bring your favorite breakfast to you in bed as you stirred awake, peppering you with kisses to start the day.

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cyber-streak-2 · 10 months

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(TFP) Soundwave finding out a human reader is following him out of curiosity.

(TFP) Soundwave with a Human Reader that’s been following him because curiosity got the cat (human):

{You first noticed Soundwave- and he noticed you- during the years that Megatron is gone. You were out for a peaceful walk, when you stumbled across the mech, and attempted to hide.}

{You weren’t sure if he ever actually saw you, he seemed busy with something. You also aren’t sure if you’ll see him again—but you do. For whatever reason, he seems to be in the forest that you walk through a lot—so you decide to watch and follow him.}

{You’re just really curious, you just want to see what he’s doing, and what he is- because you’ve never seen a robot like him before, but you feel too nervous to actually go up and talk to him.}

{Unknowingly to you, Soundwave has noticed you a couple of times- although he doesn’t care all that much. He knows you aren’t an ‘autobot pet’ though, and he’s just more focused on finding/looking for certain things in this forest.}

{He’s surprised though, when one day, you finally approach him (cautiously), and introduce yourself, while also offering to help him look for whatever he’s been trying to get for a while. In response, Soundwave gives you a voice-clip of Megs saying his name.}

{You’re actually really good with tech and other similar things, Soundwave discovers. So after you help him a bit, the silent mech comes to a decision.}

{When Megatron eventually returns, he never expected for Soundwave to just have a human with him- a useful one, at that.}

#Nana-ya91 #Requests #Headcanons #X reader #Platonic #Human Reader #TFP #Soundwave #Asks #Answers #Anubis’s Chatter #Cyber’s Chatter

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lolitakirstein · 2 months

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Hey Neighbor

(Previous Chapter)

a/n this one if young megumi heavy sorry

Part 3

Fun for Megumi turned out to be more exhausting than you imagined. The afternoon was spent mostly outdoors. Hide and seek, tossing a Frisbee, and even walking down to the small lake at the end of your street to feed the ducks. Now, sitting under the tree, the sun descending Megumi seems to be slowly losing his energy. Much to your delight. You didn’t know how 2 parents were able to keep up with a child, much less how a single father like Toji could. Which made you curious…where is his mother? Is she still involved? Are she and Toji still together? You don’t remember any mention of another woman either from him, Megumi, or even when your grandmother mentioned him. It was always just Toji and Megumi. As much as you wanted to ask, you knew it wasn’t your business. You don’t really know them. But it didn’t keep you from wondering.

Now, Megs sat up next to you, lazily swishing a cat toy back and forth while Mewsy chased it, your arms casually cradling him against your side.

'`Is your grandmother not coming back?” he softly says. You’re shocked by the question. You didn’t even know he was aware of her not being there.

“No,” you choke out. “No she’s…not coming back.” you didn’t know how to answer it. How do you talk to a child about death…a child that isn’t even your own? It wasn’t your place, so you kept it as ambiguous as possible.

“Oh,” he says, almost sad. “I liked her. She made good food.”

You stroke his dark hair, smiling. “Yes, she did. You know she might have left some recipes behind. I could try to make whatever you liked?”

“Chocolate cake!” he quickly answers.

“I’m sure i can find that for you,” you laugh.

“She let me help her make it one day when I was hiding at her house while dad was gone. She let me lick the spoon but promised not to tell him,” he whispers.

Hiding? Was he serious?

“What do you mean hiding? And where had your dad gone?” you ask, casually.

“His work. He took me over to Miss. Ruth's house and told her I needed to hide out there and not to leave the house til he got back.”

You can't remember ever hearing your grandmother mention Megumi staying at her house. “Who were you hiding from?” He shrugs, “Bad guy. That’s what daddy says.”

You stay silent. Is this factual? Or just the wild imagination of a kid? How could you even approach Toji about it–about something that isn’t even your business. But bad guys? And what did your grandmother think about this?

“I’m hungry can we make dino nuggies,” megumi stands up, shaking you from your thoughts.

You both walk back into the house, using the key Toji provided to unlock the front door. The house is simple, clean, almost like no one lived there, except for the various toys scattered in the living room and a few dishes in the sink.

Once the food is cooked you both sit on the living room floor, the tv showing cartoons, a pile of crispy chicken nuggets on a plate between the two of you. You hated to admit how fun this was. You never thought of yourself as a motherly person, but you were easily becoming attached to Megumi.

Your phone pings with an incoming text

Toji: Has he driven you crazy yet?

You smile before replying

You: Plz, he’s an absolute angel.

Toji: Lol, only bc he’s got a crush.

You blush, unsure how to respond.

Toji: I’ll be home in about an hour.

After finishing dinner and sneaking Megs a cookie from the cabinet, the two of you curl up on the couch underneath a blanket. A movie plays on the tv but his eyes are slowly closing as he curls up against your side. It's a comforting weight, his little body, you can’t help but feel your heart warm, your eyes also struggling to stay open…

You feel a warm hand on your shoulder, gently nudging you.

“Hey I’m home,” a soft voice says.

You finally register where you are, shooting your eyes open. Toji is leaning over the couch, hand still resting on your shoulder and Megumi is not next to you.

“Shit! Where’s—” you start to panic. “Relax, I already took him to his room, I’m sorry I'm so late..I got…busy,” he says hesitantly.

“God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” you apologize, earning a laugh from Toji

“I told you, he’s not an angel. He will tire you out.”

“No, he was great. We had a lot of fun.” You wanted to ask about what Megumi had mentioned earlier–the hiding, the bad guy, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. Not right now anyway.

“I appreciate it,” he says. “Here.” He holds out a thick stack of twenties, a currency strap around it reading 300 dollars.

“Toji! No! This is entirely too much I really didn’t mind.” you say, shocked. Not even daring to touch that much money.

“I insist.” He waves it in front of you.

“No I refuse,” You stand up, heading to the door to put on your shoes. You knew babysitting could come with good cash but never THAT much and just for an afternoon, you’d feel too guilty taking that much from him. You attempt to change the subject. “Uhm he ate dinner and fell asleep not long after you texted. I didn’t let him nap or anything…”

You look up and see toji staring at you with a slightly annoyed expression for not accepting the money. “Uhm, I guess i’ll go–”

“Wait,” toji grasps your upper arm before you can open the door. His big strong hand sends heat down your spine. “Go tell him bye, before you leave.”

“Huh?” you ask confused.

“Go tell him that you are leaving and you'll see him later,” he says, softly. Almost pleading.

“Of course I’ll see him again. Let him sleep.”

“No,” toji shakes his head, his grasp still firm on your arm. “If he wakes up and sees you're suddenly gone and didn’t tell him bye he will freak out…just—please.”

Your heart breaks at the thought of Megumi being upset. In his room, you sit on the bed, his small body curled beneath the covers. You lean over and whisper, “Hey little man, I’m going home.”

He shifts under the covers, a small whine, “no stay.”

“I gotta go feed Mewsy,” you say. “She gets really grumpy if she’s not fed.”

Megumi sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eye before embracing you. You hug him back, now hating that you did indeed have to go. You look at toji, leaning against the doorframe, a soft smile on his lip “I’ll see you later ok?”

He releases you and shakes his head before lying back down. Once you tuck him in, you pass by toji’s looming body by the doorway and walk to the front door. You pause not wanting to leave without asking your questions. Turning back around, Toji is standing behind you. How did you not hear him approaching? You jump back, a little startled at his silent approach.

“I–I should go,” you stammer but don’t move towards the door. Toji removes the stack of money from his pocket and reaches it forward, sliding it into your jacket pocket.

He’s so close you can smell his manly scent, arousal creeping into your veins.

“Thank you.” he whispers.

Before you can do something stupid, you whirl to the door and throw it open. Rushing down the steps without saying goodbye.

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originallandlockedmariner · 4 months

Text

2023

Pickleball. Generative AI. Lula takes office in Brazil, Amazon Rainforest throws a party. Prince Harry refusing to stop talking about his frozen penis no matter how many times society begged him to stop. UFOs are real. Viral cat dubbed ‘largest cat anyone has ever seen’ gets adopted. Pee-Wee’s big adventure ends. Musk & X. Turkey-Syria earthquake kills thousands. India surpasses China as ‘country squeezing in the most peeps’. Tucker Carlson ousted. Miss USA and her 30 lbs moon costume. Wildfires in Kelowna and Hawaii. Macron tinkers with retirement age of the French. Paltrow can’t ski. Big Red Boots. Bob Barker leaves us. Alabama mom delivers 2 babies from her 2 uteruses in 2 days. Charles III. Ukrainian counteroffensive against Russian forces as the war drags on. Taylor Swift is Time’s Person of the Year. African ‘coup belt’. Flo-Jo dies in her sleep. Chinese spy balloon shot down. Hollywood writers strike. Human ‘nice mugshot’ Shitstain and his 91 indictments. Highest interest rates in 2 decades. The Bear’s Christmas episode. War in Gaza. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Alex Murdaugh. Ocean Cleanup removes 25 000 lbs of trash from the Great Pacific Garbage Patch. Vase purchased for $3.99 sells for $100 000 at auction. Barbenheimer. A third of Pakistan is flooded. Lionel Messi is the GOAT. Travis Kelce. The Sphere opens in Las Vegas. Regulators seized Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank, resulting in two of the three largest bank failures in U.S. history. “The Woman In Me”. WHO declares COVID ain’t a thing no more. Titan sub sinks, rich people die. Matthew Perry drowns. Dumbledore Dies (again). Massive sales of ‘Fuck Trudeau’ flags for jacked-up micro-dick trucks. Everything Everywhere All At Once. June-August was the hottest three-month period in recorded history across the Earth. Tina Turner dies. And the Beatles release a new song?! Wow… You got big shoes to fill 2024.

Archives for context:

2020

Kobe. Pandemic. Lockdown. Koalas on fire. Harry and Meg retire. Toilet paper hoarding. Alcoholism. Impeach the f*cker. Parasite. Bonnie Henry. Tiger King. Working from home. Sourdough bread. Harvey Weinstein guilty. Zoom overdose. Dip your body in sanitizer. 6 feet. Quarantine. OK Boomer. Home schooling (everyone passes). Murder hornets. Dolly Parton. Don’t hug, kiss or see anybody, especially your family. Chris Evans’ junk. TikTok. Glory holes. Face masks. CERB. West Coast wildfires. Stay home. Small Businesses lose, big box stores win. F*ck Bozos. ‘Dreams’ and cranberry juice. Close yoga studios, but thumbs up to your local gym. Speak moistly to me. George Floyd. BLM. F*ck Trump. Phase 2, 3 and Summer. RBG. Baby Yoda. Biden wins. Bond and Black Panther die. No more lockdown. Back to school and work. Just kidding... giddy up round 2. Giuliani leaks shit from his head. Resurgence of chess. UFOs are real. Restrictions. Dave Grohl admits defeat. Monolith. “F*ck... forgot my mask in the car”. No Christmas shenanigans allowed. Bubbles. Alex Trebek. Use the term ‘dumpster fire’ one too many times. Jupiter and Saturn form 'Christmas Star'. Happy New Year Bitches!!!! 2021... you better not sh*t the bed!!

2021

“We love you, you’re very special”. Failed coup attempt at the Capital. Twitter, FB and IG ban Donny. Hammerin’ Hank goes to the Field of Dreams. Bozo no longer richest man but still a twat. Leachman, Tyson, and Holbrook pass. The economy is worse than expected. Kim and Kanye split. Brood X cicadas. Dre has an aneurysm and nearly has his home broken into. Bridgerton. MyPillow CEO is a douche. Covid restrictions extended indefinitely. Captain Von Trapp dies. Proud Boys officially a Terrorist Organization. Richard Ramirez. Cancer takes Screech. Travel bans. Impeachment trial (again?… oh and this was barely February? WTF??!!) Suez Canal blockage. Myanmar protest. Kong dukes it out with Godzilla, while Raya watches. Olympics. Friends compare elective surgeries. F9. Canada Women’s Soccer Gold. Free Britney. Multiverses. Residential Schools in Canada unearth children’s bodies. Kate is Mare of Easttown. Cuomo resigns. Disney and Dwayne cruise together. Wildfires. Delta variants. Musk passes Bezos. Candyman x 5. Capt. Kirk goes to space. F*ck Kyle Rittenhouse. Astros didn’t win. Squid Game. Goodbye Bond. Dune is redone. Angelina is Eternal. Astroworld deaths. Meta. Omicron. Three Spidermen. Tornados in December? World Juniors cancelled. Pills against Covid. School opening delayed. And Betty White dies. 2022… my expectations are ridiculously low…

2022

Wow… eight billion people. Queen Elizabeth II passes away after ruling the Commonwealth before dirt was invented. The monkeypox. Russia plays the role of global a**hole. Wordle. Mother Nature rocks Afghanistan. Hover bike. Styles spits on Pine. Olivia Newton John, Kristie Alley, and Coolio leave us. Pele was traded to team Heaven. FTX implodes. Madonna and the 3-D model of her vagina. Pig gives his heart to a human. Beijing can brag that it is the first city ever to host both the Summer Olympics and Winter Olympics. Uvalde. $3 trillion Apple. Keith Raniere gets 120 years. The Whisky War ends with Canada and Denmark going halfsies. Mar-a-Lago. Nick Cannon brood hits a dozen. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Inflation goes through the roof (if you can actually afford to put a roof over your head). Volodymyr Zelensky. European heat wave. Bennifer. Salman Rushdie is stabbed on stage, Dave Chappelle tackled, and Chris Rock is only slapped. Thích Nhất Hạnh. Heidi Klum goes full slug. Cuba knocked out by Ian. Liz Truss and 4.1 Scaramuccis. Taylor Swift breaks Ticketmaster. Human shitstain Elon Musk ignores helping mankind and buys Twitter instead. Riri becomes a mommy. NASA launches Artemis 1. Trump still a whiny little b*tch. Music lost Loretta Lynn, Christine McVie, and Meat Loaf. Democracy died at least three times. Pete Davidson continues to date hottest women on the planet (no one understands how?!) Microplastics in our blood. Alex Jones is a c*nt. So is DeSantis. Argentina wins the World Cup. Meghan and Harry. Eddie Munson rips Metallica in the Upside Down. tWitch. Roe vs Wade is overturned by the micro dick energy of the Supreme Court. CODA. James Corden shows he is a "tiny Cretin of a man". Amber (and the sh*t on the bed) Heard (round the world). Sebastian Bear-McClard proves he’s one of the f*cking dumbest men alive. Latin America's ‘pink tide’. Anti-Semitic rants by Ye. Bob Saget. A verified blue checkmark. Godmother of punk Vivienne dies. And, Tom Cruise feels the need for speed yet again. 2023… whatcha got for us?!? Nothing shocks me anymore.

@daily-esprit-descalier

#me #my words #doodles

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orbmanson7 · 1 year

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I refuse to wait for this poll to end before posting, so here we go - a nice, long analysis of why Herbert is or isn't lying about killing Dan's pet cat, Rufus.

(Here's your warning that animal death will be discussed a lot in this post, so please heed that warning!)

To start, let's first discuss why Herbert is likely lying and did kill the cat.

Obviously, his motives are suspect. He has intentions to get close to Dan (hence why he took on his roommate offer), and wanted to show him that reanimation was possible in order to convince Dan to help him (because he knew Dan had access to the morgue as part of his job at the hospital, which would give him a way to test human subjects).

It makes sense that he would kill the cat to use as an example of what he could do with his reagent, to impress Dan and prove the reagent's efficacy. It may also bring some brownie points if he claimed the cat had died by accident and then he graciously brought it back to life (which could potentially give him motive to kill it in the first place).

Additionally, it's important to remember Meg was suspicious of Herbert from the moment she met him. However completely unfounded, she was scared of him and uncomfortable in his presence, and she lets Dan know this (subtly at first, then outright later on). Meg's worries are what lead her to searching for the cat and then her suspicion towards Herbert is what led her to check in his room, which is how she finds the cat in his mini-fridge, dead.

She alerts Dan and then immediately accuses Herbert. Now, given the circumstances, it is extremely bizarre to have a dead cat in your fridge, for sure, and it's understandable for her to come to the conclusion he did something to kill the cat only because of this. However, she was already suspicious of Herbert for no reason before this instance. She had already suspected him, despite him having done nothing to warrant it before that point, so she was absolutely biased in her accusation.

Now - pause on that thought. This means that, in order for this lie to make sense to Dan, Herbert would have to have been aware of Rufus' common behaviors. While we don't see this behavior much ourselves, we do know that Rufus likes to jump up on Dan, and Meg confirms that this seems to happen often to both her and Dan whenever she visits. It's also extremely typical cat behavior. Meg also notes that when Herbert is around, Rufus would run away from him, but Dan remarks that this is also typical cat behavior (which it is). Given what we do know about Rufus, Meg's remark about how he knocks things over when she visits and especially Dan's comments implying he's often mischievous while they go looking for him, it's understandable to think the cat may have genuinely knocked over the garbage and gotten into the resulting mess. This may have even been an occurrence that did happen in the past, and Herbert then used a partial truth when explaining the situation to Dan later, making it far more believable.

He then explains, specifically to Dan in a soft and calm voice, that he had found the cat dead, that it seemed to have knocked over the trash and gotten its head stuck in a jar. A very simple and easy explanation that could have been believable, given the cat's known behavior.

But then, as Dan asks, why would he keep the cat in the fridge and not tell Dan? Well, Herbert has an alibi, of course. He was busy away from home, and explains that he didn't want to just leave the dead animal there for Dan to find later or for it to "stink up the place." Again, these are completely understandable reasons, even if devoid of emotional attachment to the cat.

When Dan asks why he didn't call or leave a note, Herbert plays to Dan's sensibilities, asking what a note could possibly say. And he's got a point there; it would likely have been even worse if he had merely written a note and given very little detail to explain what happened. This is something that would require discussion, not a quick "Cat dead. Details later." written to spook Dan (and Meg) and rile them up before he arrived to give those details.

Given this does seem like a lie, it makes sense that Herbert would be able to capture and suffocate the cat fairly easily, store it in his fridge until he was able to return from work, and then have the opportunity to most likely show Dan that the cat was dead before reanimating it, creating a perfect example of what his reagent was capable of achieving and use that to impress him. With this, he could then sway Dan into helping him, because Dan had access to the morgue which meant Herbert could get access to corpses to test his reagent on people.

It lines up, it makes sense.

The only factor he couldn't control with this plan was Meg going into his room and revealing things before he had the chance to do so himself, which made him sound defensive and his lies seem less believable because they could be seen as excuses in the moment. It didn't help that Meg also insisted that the cat hated him and therefore he killed it. However, this was a lousy and emotionally-driven reason that didn't have any proof behind it, which is why Herbert doesn't even bother giving her a response at first.

And while I have also seen it argued that, much like his distaste for Meg, Rufus was technically someone who had some of Dan's attention and maybe that was a reason Herbert could have wanted him gone, so that the cat was out of the way once he convinced Dan to help him, I find this to be quite a stretch. But, given how Herbert clearly wants Dan's attention, it's not impossible.

It's also interesting to note the other moments where Herbert lies in this movie (and in Bride, if you want to count those, too). Herbert often seems to have at least a general plan laid out for what to say, even if he's having to think on his feet. He'd have been a decent chess player, given his strategy seems to be that he takes into account what he knows about the person he's lying to, what actions are available for him to take, and what actions may result from it. This allows him to remain one or two steps ahead of anyone in many situations, and seems to work very well in his favor.

For example, after the first fiasco down in the morgue, when the security guard, Mace, comes in to figure out what's happened, Herbert was either lucky or quickly aware that Mace and Dan were acquainted in some way (Mace does immediately ask if Dan's okay before addressing the gruesome situation in the room, so Herbert may have noticed this). Herbert tells the guard that he had come down there to see Dan, which lines up with Mace's understanding of the situation - he knew Dan had just brought a body into the morgue before he left to go get 'coffee'. It's understandable that someone had come by while he was away and if they knew Dan, then they may have known he was working in there. This sentence also means Herbert is relying on Mace's trust in Dan, not in his trust of Herbert (which is probably non-existent), giving Herbert a slight advantage in getting him to believe his story.

Next, Herbert explains that the dean had entered and had started ranting at them irrationally, which is somewhat actually true. Using truth, even a partial truth, can be really helpful in selling a lie. Not only were they already aware that the dean was angry with them before this, Dan had told Herbert that he'd kicked them out of the school (per the Integral Cut, at least) so they knew if the dean found out they had gone down to the morgue to do this experiment, he'd be even more pissed. Herbert could absolutely rely on that anger as a supposed motive for Dean Halsey's actions when making up his story.

Oddly, Meg steps in to argue that her father (the dean) was "just angry" which actually gives Herbert's lie more credibility here, not less. It makes what he described seem more believable, because Meg had just confirmed part of Herbert's statement. This is especially helpful as he further explains to the guard that the dean had attacked a corpse with a bone saw and "went crazy."

Something interesting to note here is that Herbert refers to the bone saw as "that thing" as though he doesn't know what it is. Well, he definitely knows what it is, so why did he lie about this specifically? Again, this may have been to sway the guard's opinion of him. Unlike just before this, he couldn't stake this part on Mace's trust in Dan. Instead, he needed Mace to believe him, and 'playing dumb' to some extent - not understanding why the dean was angry with them, simplifying the dean's supposed actions as only "he went crazy," and referring to the bone-saw as "that thing" - it all makes Herbert seem more like an innocent victim in this situation. If he were to display knowledge of the tools used, regardless of being a literal med student who has taken classes on how to use this exact tool, it would have only made him look more suspicious, even if it shouldn't have if he actually was innocent. So Herbert plays a little bit dumb, explaining things in simple terms but making himself seem only as informed as the guard was, with very little understanding of the situation or why it occurred.

All in all, it's a good lie.

And if he's able to lie so well in such an intense situation like that, it makes sense that he could lie easily in the situation with Dan's cat.

But there's one lie Herbert tells that tripped me up a bit, and I had to really think about it to understand his motives for why he would lie in that moment and how he went about doing it.

Following the instance where Dan finds out about his cat being dead, there's a scene where Herbert has applied his reagent to the cat in the basement but it has apparently begun attacking him. The noise wakes Dan up and he helps fight off the cat before realizing that's what it is.

We then get a scene where Herbert shows Dan his notes and explains what his reagent can do. He is trying to impress Dan, by explaining his achievements and his plans to go further with it. But then Dan asks him, both incredulously and point blank, "You haven't done this on people?"

Herbert stares at him, silent, then looks away, then reaches up to scratch his neck before saying, "I've done all I can here" and changes the topic entirely.

This is a lie of omission, and the audience knows this because we know that he has 'done this on people', or at least one person - Dr. Gruber. However, as we can recall, that was not exactly what one would call successful. And given that Herbert is trying to convince Dan all because he wants to get access to the morgue for more subjects, he likely hasn't had many opportunities to try his reagent on other people yet.

So, if Herbert were to be honest here and tell Dan "yes," it would go against his goal of trying to impress Dan. If he's done this on a person, then why wasn't it already the biggest news in the world? Well, because it wasn't successful. Herbert having to admit that would ruin the progress he's already made in convincing Dan of the reagent's efficacy at this point in the conversation. He needs Dan to believe that this will work, and not worry about the consequences if it doesn't. Never mind that every scientist has to do things wrong a bunch of times before they get it right, when human lives are what's at stake, there's a lot more riding on the results. To tell Dan the truth here would be detrimental to his intentions, so he can't tell the truth.

But then, why not lie? Again, depending on how much he explained, his intentions are to use this on humans, but if he lies and says he hasn't, Dan has a lot more things to be concerned about. There's a reason a lot of chemicals and products can't get approval for human testing, because it can be extremely dangerous, and Herbert's reagent is by far no exception. If he were to tell Dan assuredly that he'd never used this on a person before, it could ruin his chances at convincing Dan to try it on a person at all. Herbert is already working against Dan's moralistic nature here, adding something more to that mix could potentially flip his already swaying opinion and keep Herbert from obtaining what he wants.

So he can't lie, either.

This is why it had tripped me up initially when I was thinking it over. Why would Herbert have so much difficulty lying to Dan when he had done it so well just two scenes back? Was it because Dan had asked him point blank like that, and he hadn't prepared a response? Surely he would have guessed Dan would want to know if he'd been successful trying his reagent on people, why hadn't he prepared something to say? Oddly, the simple answer was that it was likely funnier to have Herbert kind of flounder for a second and not know what to say, shaking his confidence for a moment. But it also makes sense that he didn't want to move Dan's opinion any further in either direction, so he decided to simply say nothing and then change the subject, keeping Dan exactly where he wanted him to be. Surprisingly, Dan (tired and already confused) just went along with it without questioning him again. Maybe he just didn't want to think about the implications, but who knows?

Regardless, it proves that Herbert is good enough at reading the people around him to determine the best ways to lie to them.

But what if it wasn't a lie? What if he really hadn't killed Rufus?

Well, let's discuss why it's still possible he hadn't been lying in this particular instance.

First, back to Meg's immediate distrust of Herbert and how it was completely unfounded. At that point in the movie, Herbert had not done anything to warrant Meg's suspicion, and yet she suspected he was up to something. Because of this, the audience was already expecting Herbert to do something awful, so we're more inclined to believe he's lying when he says he didn't kill the cat. But, given that Herbert hadn't done anything wrong before this point, there is no reason to doubt what he's saying (if we don't count the audience knowing about Dr. Gruber, but we clearly didn't have the full story there, either.)

Beyond this, if his goal here was to get close to Dan, why on earth would he fully intend to kill Dan's pet, especially if he knew how fond Dan was of Rufus? Herbert clearly put thought into answering Dan's roommate ad, because he knew it would allow him to get closer to Dan. Likely, his hope was to be on good terms with him and he would then leverage this friendship as a way to gain access to the morgue at the hospital, because the only thing he really knew about Dan was what he had learned from their brief encounter at the beginning of the movie, which was mostly that Dan seemed to be on decent terms with the dean and that he had access to the morgue. That's it. Factors like Dan's house having a basement, Dan having a girlfriend who happened to be the daughter of the dean of the university, and that Dan had a pet cat were all technically unknown to him when answering the roommate ad.

If his plan in all this was to get on Dan's good side, why would he kill his pet? Outside of the potential theory I posited earlier that it may earn him some brownie points if he reanimated Rufus for Dan, that would still mean he'd have the intention to kill the cat in the first place. And Meg had suggested that the cat hated Herbert, which isn't really a good reason for someone to kill a cat (even for Herbert), especially given how gentle he's trying to be with Dan throughout this scene.

It doesn't really line up that he would intentionally plan out and murder Dan's pet cat, just so he could reanimate it and prove what he can do. Really, he could've just caught a squirrel or rabbit and bring that back to life if the goal was just to show off his reagent. Even if bringing back Rufus would get him some brownie points (assuming it worked), Herbert wouldn't be at an advantage, he'd still be at the mercy of what Dan decided to do. If not given enough time, if the reanimation was unsuccessful, or if the reanimated cat attacked Dan (which it did), these were all variables that Herbert had to have already accounted for (his notes literally state that the larger the mammal he'd tested the reagent on, the more violent they'd become, after all) before he would do this experiment. And it could have resulted in Dan kicking him out, ruining Herbert's initial plan to get close to him and delaying any progress he'd already made.

Herbert thinks ahead, plans his actions out, considers all his options before acting. It does not make a lot of sense that Herbert would kill Rufus if he had wanted to get close to Dan, regardless of the fact that he was trying to manipulate him.

However, it does make sense that if Herbert happened upon an already dead (or dying, but not there yet) cat, he could easily come up with this scheme to use it to convince Dan of what he could do. (Convenient test subject and all.) Which, in a way, is still lying, but if he wasn't the one who killed the cat, then all he'd be guilty of is not informing Dan right away, and since he had somewhere to be, he could use that to his advantage when asked. This leaves Herbert's reputation with Dan relatively unscathed, because he isn't causing the incident, he's simply participating in its aftermath, same as Dan.

This may also be why some of his lines seem rehearsed when explaining what happened, because he had probably planned out beforehand what he would say when he intended to show Dan what happened (though, Herbert's actor did admit during the commentary track that he had to run this specific scene when they auditioned literally every Dan and Meg actor for the role and that he'd gotten really tired of this dialogue after running it so many times, so there may be a bit more reason to his line delivery sounding like that).

And, if that part wasn't a lie, even if parts of his explanation were rehearsed or planned out, that doesn't take away from other scenes where he does lie about other things, including when Dan asks him point blank about using the reagent on people or his cover story to the security guard in the morgue. The boy's a very good liar, I'll give him that, so maybe he's got some of us fooled?

So, using Dan's cat dying as a way to manipulate him into helping him? Not great, but at least it wouldn't make him a cat murderer.

Also interesting to note, but when Herbert mentions how he found the cat dead because it had tipped over the garbage and gotten its head stuck in a jar, both Dan and Meg glance at each other with a knowing look. While this could be interpreted a couple different ways, such as Meg looking at Dan as if to silently say "can you really believe this obvious lie?", it could also indicate that this is a very believable situation to them, and that Rufus may have even done something like this in the past, which leaves them both recognizing that. Given Meg's comment about Rufus knocking stuff over a lot and Dan saying he has 'tricks', this lends far more to Herbert being innocent in this instance, that he isn't lying because something like this has already happened.

But, as I said before, using partial truth when lying is the key to being believed, so it could just as easily be a cover story for what really happened, or it could be the genuine truth or at least Herbert's understanding of what actually had occurred.

It's understandable that this has been a tough one to figure out, because there's a lot of reason to believe he lied, but there's plenty of reason to believe he didn't, as well.

Overall, it seems to be less about your opinion on Herbert in general and more about your opinion on his motives and intentions.

Did he want to kill the cat to accomplish his mission? Or did he see the cat as an obstacle he could get rid of? Why would he need to remove the cat if he was already confident he could manipulate Dan before he even knew the cat existed? Why couldn't he use any other animal, unless this one was just the most convenient at the time?

I think it all depends on how low you think he'd stoop to get what he wanted, really.

#reanimator #Re-Animator #herbert west #dan cain #meg halsey #reanimator analysis #long post #animal death #cats #death #gif #orbs thought bubbles

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transingthoseformers · 8 months

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Propagate Anon: Megs got so lucky Tarn settled on this side of the overreaction meter and that all of the DJD are ride or die with Tarn and if he tells him we are going to start a war against Megatron and team up with a Traitor or that they are going to go repopulate the universe with Autobots they all agree.

Meanwhile, Megatron just has to deal with this, and it is his fault, while Rodimus swans around having the time of his life.

Speaking of this fic which I will be writing on more once work calms down, these months are our busy season, I am now firmly having the Deathsaurus/Star Saber Side Story, the WTF Is Happening On Cybertron Side Story, and the Who Knocked Up Optimus Prime Side Story.

The OP Side Story is also funny and ended up potentially with GalvOP as Optimus's group tries to figure out who did it while Optimus firmly denies he is carrying and no one can get him to sit down. Galvatron and the Decepticons get dragged into it because Galvatron refuses to fight someone who is pregnant and now it turns out half of his new forces are as well so the Earth Campaign goes definitely sideways also why is no one knocking sense into this idiot Prime. He is so much worse than Nova and while Galvatron hates Primes on principle the little voice inside him that sounds like Cyclonus makes him step up to take care of wet cat ex-cop crying in a Denny's parking lot (I have a scene planned where this actuallyhappens) Prime sense his followers are clearly incompetent and this is not Galvatron's first rodeo.

Nickel when they finally meet has Galvatron's respect.

So way luckyyyyy

Oh Rodimus is having so much fun and making Megs even more miserable because this is the goofy ship and we love it🥰

Oh Oppy

xxfghhhjjk oh Optimus oh Optimus

fair Galvie fair

"is nobody gonna take care of this wayward prime"

wet cat cop crying in a Denny's parking lot

10/10 description of post war Oppy

Oh Galvey means BUSINESS GODDAMNNNNN

#maccadam #transformers #propagate #stage seven: breeding season #idw optimus prime #idw galvatron #galvop #mtmte megatron #mtmte tarn #mtmte rodimus #mtmte star saber #mtmte deathsaurus #DeathSaber #galvatron just slides into the stepdad role through the power of taking in this red and blue menace

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waka-chan-out · 2 months

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first post since 2022 how’s it hangin fellas. i moved across the country and got my first full time job and started grad school and got two cats. been a bit busy. i’ve gotten very good at writing emails.

i’ll probably be moving my stuff to AO3 soon because i just cannot stand this platform anymore. i appreciate all the support for the last however long and it’s cool to see my fics still floating around. i’m proud of a lot of what i wrote on here and stand by my silly little character opinions. i won’t be removing any posts here, just revising the stuff i really like and moving it over.

first post will be something y’all haven’t seen yet. i’ve talked about it before but it’s atsumu angst. i’ve got about 4,000 words that i’m proud of and probably another 2,000 to go so it’ll probably be a short multi chaptered thing. i’ll probably post about things other than haikyuu too. i’ve been in jason todd hell for weeks and have short ideas for guys like jonathan crane. i love me my damaged men. be on the lookout. my name is the same over there as it is here.

this platform changed my life for the better in many ways and again, i appreciate the support immensely. it kept me writing consistently and the creative juices were always flowing. i met one of my best friends in the world on here (hi nimo i love you and i’ll text you back in just a second) and have interacted with so many cool people from all over the world i honestly cannot believe it.

thanks for the love y’all. you’re so damn sweet. i’m not abandoning you forever, i promise. just renegotiating my interests a little.

peace,

meg 🩷

#i’m also into kpop now so y’all do not want me back full time #i am more annoying than i’ve ever been

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fanaticastrid · 7 months

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Alright... finally got to Meg... but the chapter might come out this weekend instead thanks to being busy. Grrr.

So maybe I'll spit out more ideas, since Tumblr is my new note wall. Not everything is final, but some might make it into the final draft hehe enjoy my brainstorming will happen again

-IMMA ABUSE LESTER. HE GETS WHUMP IN TDP HAHAHA, IM EXCITED FOR THAT oh and in WoNH too?? :0

-i really want to put in a scene somewhere where Lester just breaks down from stress and Apollo/Meg comforts him like FUCK this kid dude!!! he needs a break!!! He's scared, he doesn't quite get what's going on, raaaa!!

-Lester fights Commodus all I can post without more spoilers,,, but HOW do I MAKE that STUPID FIGHT IN THE STADIUM BETTER the idea for it rn is crummy... oh and how to make Leander here have that bi awakening and when bc I NEED THE BOY TO BE BI

-I actually really should be taking this a book at a time but forget it lmao. I also need to educate myself on stealth sequences for TLT... and for Shatterverse now that I think about it. Not an idea just me yelling at me as usual

-Lester punches every single emperor in the face and I am making this happen no matter what (insert markiplier punch meme here but it's lester)

-hey what if Apollo taught Lester ancient greek and latin??? can I do that??? just to be wholesome???

-angst angst w his family too bc I feel like it. Don't know how ill do it but I'll try

-One idea from the snippets I found showed that Lester actually knew both Piper and Percy, but due to his character being changed its just Percy now... tho I still want him to know one of other Seven if possible, maybe just Annabeth? Obviously it would barely be like acquaintances but still a neat idea

-An idea I adored from said snippets will also be returning. Can't say much except this: I got the idea originally from when I read my copy of the Illiad for the first time- Apollo of the Golden Sword. Trust me, it's not quite what you think. :>

-I've noticed a few errors in ToN, so I'll try to correct or explain them in TLT. One bugs me super badly. Oh, and that meeting with a cat and a severed head, Bast and Mimir? That will build into Mortal Hero, Lesterverse's second installment and the first actual story instead of a "rewrite." Of course, that's quite far down the line, but there's a LOT that happens in there.

-and finally, make Jason's death worse because protective boi. Again, no spoilerssss hehe

Just a reminder that my ask box is open! Feel free to make requests, ask about the AU (and Shatterverse! I'll be sharing about it eventually!) and whatever you please!

#trials of apollo #toa #toa au #double lester au #alternate universe #fan au #my au #lesterverse #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey

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silvershewolf247 · 8 months

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Custody Hearing (Rough Draft)

I've been working on this for the last week, haven't proofread it. This is part 1. It was getting long so I divided it.

Tiffany walked around the cabin with a look of overdramatized revulsion.

“So… This is where you’ve been living,” she said with a high pitch through gritted teeth.

“It’s not that bad, once you get used to it. My bedroom’s decorated differently,” Glen said, refusing to look directly at their mother for more than a second. Tiffany stopped in front of the deer skull above the fireplace.

“I would hope so,” she said.

“Ya like it! Took the stag's skin off myself,” it was Chucky, inside his skinsuit of Andy Barclay, holding a kitchen knife. He burst into the room and the conversation.

“I imagine you did worse to it before that,” Tiffany responded with a smirk.

“Nah that was all Glen, kid’s really coming into themself,” he responded. Tiffany’s smile immediately fell.

“What do you mean by that?” she asked. Chucky walked closer, smirking.

“You know, getting into the family business, they haven't gotten to people yet, but nothing wrong with being a late bloomer," he said, punctuating the last statement with a shrug.

"Chucky, we agreed that we weren't going to get them involved in this stuff," Tiffany

"Is that why you killed Meg Tilly in front of them?" He asked.

"I am an addict Chucky, all I ask for is a bit of empathy from my support system. But it seems like I don’t even have that,” she said. Chucky rolled his eyes.

“Tiff, cut out the victim of addiction shit, I’m the one person who knows you too well for that crap,” Chucky responded. Tiffany took a deep breath.

“This is why I left you, you are one of my demons,” she said. Chucky started laughing.

“And proud of it,” he said. Tiffany scowled as he walked over and hooked an arm around his child.

“Maybe I’ll worm my way into this little killer's head too,” he said, then he chuckled again. Tiffany stared him down like a cat looking at a mocking bird through a window pane. He responded by rolling his eyes.

“Jeez Tiff, would it kill ya to lighten up a bit,” Chucky said, patting Glen on the back and walking toward Tiffany.

“You stole my children from me, how do you expect me to treat this lightly?” Tiffany responded.

“You stole them from me for 18 years, I think me getting a bit of custody is more than fair,” Chucky said.

“I didn’t steal them from you, I was protecting them from you,” Tiffany said.

“Protecting them from what, knowing their father, having someone in their life be honest to them, having someone guide them in the family business,” he said, moving closer to her and grabbing her hands.

“Tiff, you should see them, Glen and Glenda have so much promise as killers, and I don’t understand why you can’t see that,” he continued, he was moving closer to her. He held their hands up to her chest.

“Chucky… We’ve been over this…" Tiffany started. Chucky pulled away.

"No, you've been over this. I never got a say in it. I never got a say in any of it!" He interrupted, his frustration growing with each sentence.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this," Tiffany said, throwing her arms up in frustration.

"Since when has me being angry stopped you from talking to me?" He asked.

"I can't talk to you when you're in Andy's body, it's weird," Tiffany said.

"Is it really any weirder than talking to the doll," Chucky said.

"Yes, incredibly so… And I never minded the doll," Tiffany said, sounding almost saudade.

"No. No, you didn't," he said, the frustration in his voice now gone.

"You always liked the doll," he said with a chuckle. Tiffany smiled. Chucky walked closer to her.

"Sometimes I wondered if you liked it more than my human body," he said.

"You are awfully cute in the doll," Tiffany said.

"Cuter, is that the only reason you prefer the doll? You spent years trying to convince me to get a human body, now I’ve got two, and you haven’t seemed content with either" he said.

"I was fine with Nica," Tiffany said.

“Not with me though," Chucky said. Tiffany was silent.

“Did you prefer me in the doll to my real body? Did it feel better being able to toss me around,” he closed the gap between them.

“Chucky…”

“Is that why you got me killed,” he interrupted. Tiffany’s face went white.

“Didn’t think I knew did ya,” he brought the knife up to her stomach.

“How?” was all she could ask.

“Let’s just say, the pieces of me keep in touch,” he said. He was smirking.

“Chucky, please…” she started. The knife pierced through her jacket. She closed her eyes.

“You think I’m gonna gut ya, don’t ya Tiff,” he said. Tiffany nodded. Then she felt his hand on her face, cupping her cheek. She opened her eyes, the knife was back in his coat pocket.

“Oh Tiff, I’m not gonna cut you open,” he said, he started laughing. Tiffany laughed in turn. At first it was nervous laughter, then it was relieved. His other hand came up to cup her face. Then the hands cupping her face moved down. He was cradling her neck. Then he started to squeeze, cutting off her laughter.

“That would be too quick,” he said. Terror returned to her eyes. He leaned in closer.

“I want this to be slow… I want to feel this,” he finished.

#Chapter 2 Au: Not Out Of The Woods #tiffany valentine #Chucky!Andy #glen ray tilly

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hua-mo-jin-is-a-cutie · 2 months

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Vocal Synth Headcanons as of March 2024

I wanna share my new headcanons as they've changed a lot and also I feel like tumblr will either ignore them or appreciate them quietly. These headcanons will include sexuality, romantic attraction, relationships, species, age, etc. <3

Before I get into this, I wanna preface this with how I view the vocal synth world in my head. In this world, vocal synths as we know them, are singers for hire and the engine(s) that they are on are the companies they work for. The companies that made them are their management team. So vocals like Miku and the cryptonloids have large management teams, aka crypton, but vocals made by singular people like independently owned utaus only have one manager. Some singers are just normal human beings, some are robots, some are literal fae, etc. But yea, the premise for all of this is that they are singers for hire.

Hatsune Miku:

A literal robot. Built in with the personality and intelligence of an adult, but marketed as a teen idol to attract more customers. THE singer for hire at Vocaloid. There are multiple Miku's because she is in such high demand. The one I like to think about specifically is an older original V2 model that has been given more modern upgrades throughout the years. She is in a relationship with Gumi. Non-repulsed asexual, but like physically she has no parts for it so (cough cough I did write wireplay gumiku fanfic cough cough). Bi-romantic.

Gumi Meg Poid

Human, around 24. In a relationship with a specific Miku. Is a single mother to Ryuto (Gachapoid). Very busy work schedule, but always tries her best to make time for her kid and her girlfriend. Lesbian. A good cook. Fell in love with Miku after singing with her a lot. Lives just outside the city in a little house with her son. Miku has keys to her house, but they don't live together because Miku is required to live close to the studio. She's a high school drop out because she found Ryuto. In this AU I have split up Megpoid (her product name) into a middle and last name. I do the same with Ryuto. The Poid family lol. (but not gakpoid because I don't have strong enough opinions about him to include him in this au. Maybe they're siblings idk).

Ryuto Gacha Poid

Gumi's son, not biologically. Currently around 7 years old. Kinda sorta half monster/dinosaur thing? Born from an egg (inspired by the light reading I did of the gachapin wikapedia page one night). Gumi saw a box on her way home from school that said something like "please take me home" and assumed it was gonna be like a cat or something. She had planned to take it to a shelter instead of leaving it in the rain. Inside the box was a large off-white egg with green spots. She assumed it was some kind of decoration and was about to walk away when it started to hatch. And out pops a crying little baby boy with little horns and a tail. What the fuck, she can't just leave him there. And thus, she has a kid now. Middle name is Gacha because gumi thought it was silly how she got him sort of like a gacha game. He is able to suppress his monster parts, but they still come out when he's really emotional. Sweet hyperactive baby boy. Probably has AuDHD. Friends with a lot of the other Vsynth Kiddos, but besties with Mo Jin. Lowkey really into hard rock and metal music (because that's what he's good at singing, I will fight people please let him sing more metal).

Hua Mo Jin

(ough my sweetest baby gorl aaaaaa more people should love you like I do. Some of what I'm about to write is canon from her character info on dsound so) Huamn, 6 years old. Surprisingly very tall for her age (I never draw her tall, but canonically she is like the average height of a 9 year old). Lives with her older sister, Hua Mo Ci, who she received her rabbit plush from. The rabbit plush scares everyone around her, but she thinks it's really sweet and takes it everywhere. She does not like hard foods, her favorite food is peony steamed buns. Autistic for sure. Also has albinism. Very quiet and doesn't talk much, but loves to sing. Does not get hired very often. Besties with Ryuto despite their language barrier. They're both working on learning English. I headcanon that her mother is dead and that she just lives with Mo Ci because it sort of parallels Gumi and Ryuto.

A literal alien from the planet ARIA. This is the human disguise she takes, but her actual form is kinda blob-like and translucent idk I need to draw it out sometime. Has a younger sister named ONE. In human years she's around 19. In a relationship with Flower. Non-repulsed Asexual (can you tell I'm projecting my sexuality onto the robots and aliens yet?). Her species reproduces asexually so she never really thought about it before dating Flower, but she's open to it. Romantically I'd just say queer. I mean she's not even human and her taking on the persona of a woman was kinda arbitrary. Enjoys learning about humans. Very sleepy, she never quite gets used to earth time. Prefers to wear comfy clothes when she's not performing.

ONE

Again, an Alien from ARIA. Around 15 in human years. More energetic than IA. Participates in athletics at the school she's attending. Socially awkward and kinda shy. Somehow the more responsible of the sisters, she usually cooks breakfast because IA doesn't get up early ever. In a relationship with KAFU. Thinks humans are strange creatures. Romantically a Lesbian, but like in a gender queer way. Really looks up to her sister.

Flower

Human. 100% a lesbian you can't convince me otherwise. Somewhere around 21 I think. Another single mom, but to twins this time. It's a whole story. In a relationship with IA. Somehow keeps attracting otherworldly beings into her life. Xin Hua is her cousin, they're around the same age and pretty close.

So here's her single mom backstory. When she was a kid she used to visit her grandparents for the summer along with Xin Hua. They had would play at the little park across the road (out in the country ya know?) and their grandma would always bring them fresh fruit to snack on. So one day she eats some plums and buries the seeds at that little park. And well she stopped staying at her grandparents for the summer. She returns years later after the death of her grandparents to help clean out their house and she notices that a plum tree has grown at that little park. She takes a break to go over there and have a plum for old times sake and 2 kids fall out of the tree like "Mom!!!" Oopsie, she accidentally created 2 plum tree spirits and now she's got kids.

She is a very tired single mother and still can't really believe that this happened, but she loves them all the same and does her best for them.

KAFU

A literal robot. Created with the personality and intelligence of a teenager (16-17. KAF was 17 at the time of recording so KAFU is minor). In a relationship with ONE. Asexual grey-aromantic) Very curious personality. Likes learning things about ARIA from ONE. Very busy work schedule.

MEIKA Hime

One of Flowers little fae kids. Around 11-12. Very bubbly and hyperactive, def has ADHD. Hyperfixated on plants. Attached at the hip to her twin (I mean like an unhealthy kinda codependency for real). Non-binary, They/She. Some kinda queer. Has a crush on Una. Friends with the other middle school age kids (Una, Oliver, etc.). Not very good at academics, but enjoys science. Has psychic powers. Their life is directly affected by the their tree so if the tree gets sick or hurt, so does she. Is a sleepwalker, often ends up scaring people in the middle of the night on accident.

MEIKA Mikoto

The other fae child. Around 11-12. Not talkative at all, very blunt when she does speak. Maybe autistic, but could just be antisocial I'm not sure yet. Attached at the hip to their twin (I mean like an unhealthy kinda codependency for real). Non-binary, They/She/He. Some kinda queer. Hyperfixated on insects. Enjoys horror movies and novels. Hime's rock. Holds a bit of resentment toward Flower for leaving them alone for so long, but it fades after they start living together. Has psychic powers. Their life is directly affected by the their tree so if the tree gets sick or hurt, so does he. They prefer quiet study sessions with Oliver and find Una to be a little overwhelming at times. She enjoys learning about astrology from IA once she starts hanging around more often (when her and Flower start dating).

Kaai Yuki

Human. 9 years old. Poor immune system, often gets sick (bc her voice provider literally had a cold at the time of recording her voicebank). Kiyoteru is her foster parent, but he does eventually adopt her. Really enjoys school and learning. Tutors the littler kids.

Yun Quan

(if it's not obvious this is my fan design for her) Human, around 8. Tall for her age. Snarky and a rich girl. Very protective of her friends and very mean to everyone else. She's not allowed to wear makeup, but really wants to be able to wear it, so she just has a huge collection of lip smackers lip balm.

Otomachi Una

Human, 11. Sees gumi as a sort of big sister / mentor figure since they share a management team. ADHD. Hyperfixated on marine life, specifically eels. Since she like canonically has different personas (Sugar, Spicy, and Talk) that all seem very different, I sort of have this idea that she has DID and that those personas her her different alters, but I don't have DID and don't wanna misrepresent it so I'm hesitant with that one. My other idea for it that I lean more toward is that they're her different ways of masking. So like Spicy could be her preformance mask, sugar could be how she is in everyday life, and talk could be how she presents in school. I know I (my autistic ass) have different masks for different social settings. Also Una is really into Scene fashion and 100% drinks Monster. She is in marching band.

Oliver

Zombie boy. around 11. Soft spoken and anxious. has a pet bird named James. His whole family is some kinda monster. Self concious about his stitches so he covers them with bandages, but that just draws more attention to him. Does not like going to school or really in public at all. Afraid of water. Close friends with Mikoto and Yuki.

I have more but I've been at this for a while so I'll add to this later lol

#vocaloid #synthv #vocal synth #headcanon #vocaloid headcanons

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shitsncraps · 1 year

Text

Have your tf2 faves seen Goncharov?

- a bunch of headcanons by me

Scout

He’s heard of it, in the way the people who are still on twitter have heard of it. He definitely tried watching it, but he can’t seem to find any movie theaters showing it? That’s frickin weird, but whatever, ya know?

Soldier

Has not heard of it, Has not seen it, when he hears about it he will absolutely resolutely not watch it. He’s a TRUE AMERICAN and Goncharov is a COMMIE MOVIE ABOUT RUSSIANS AND ITALIANS, IT IS COMPLETELY UNAMERICAN! He does appreciate the bond between Goncharov and Andre. He respects strong bonds between men like A REAL AMERICAN MAN and he will go on a rant about it, likely comparing himself and Demoman to Goncharov and Andre.

Pyro

Pyro watched it the day it came out. They thought Andre and Goncharov were pretty overhyped, but they loved every Katya and Sofia scene, squealing and kicking their legs when ever they showed up together. They especially loved the Lighter Scene. An Honorable mention is Icepick Joe and his cat, Pachka, they really liked that part.

Demoman

Demoman is a Goncharov x Andre enjoyer, but more importantly, he likes to nitpick the practical effects. He insists that realistically, nobody would survive the Boat Scene. He thinks Al Pacino is highly underrated.

Heavy

Heavy is fascinated by Goncharov, but prefers the books to the film. I’ll be honest, I don’t know much about the books, but I feel like Heavy would just prefer the books more. About the films however, he enjoys that they kept the authenticity of the culture from the books, although there are parts he will not hesitate to say are inaccurate.

Engineer

Engineer knows all about Goncharov and it’s background. In fact, he thinks it’s hilarious, but for reasons, he cannot disclose the wild history behind Goncharov. He enjoys hearing reviews and critiques of the films and the books, and he thinks it’s awful sweet that people are pointing out connections between characters that the average viewer would not notice.

Medic

Medic is 100% of the opinion that Icepick Joe should have lived. He was heartbroken by the scene where he died, and even cried a bit when Pachka’s motif played. He sees himself in Icepick Joe, and enjoys the dynamic between Joe and Al Pacino. He respects Goncharov and Andre but believes that Andre should’ve had higher standards.

Sniper

Surprisingly, Sniper has seen it. He did the Goncharov Walk out of the theater. He Gonched when he got home to his van. He wrote a 1000 essay about it on a stray receipt he had lying around about the clock motif and it’s symbolism. And then he passed out and forgot that the movie even existed. He is severely confused by the fuss about a movie that seemingly popped up out of nowhere.

Spy

Spy know the truth about Goncharov. She says nothing because she learned this information from Scout’s Mom, and if she were to reveal the truth about Goncharov, she would have to say where she got the information, which would mean admitting to knowing Scout’s Mom, which is close enough to admitting to Scout that he is her son. If she were forced to choose her favorite character, she would say Katya.

BONUS

Ms. Pauling

She knows about Goncharov. She knows about the people trying to make it a reality. She is actively in charge of preventing it from becoming a reality. God help her, she is spending her only day off this year convincing Scout that it’s not a real film.

The Administrator

She Started Goncharov.

Merasmus

This Scream Fortress, Merasmus is trying to summon Goncharov, the film, into reality through the power of MAGIC

Scout’s Mom

She is Lynda Carter-ing her way through this. Scout asks her about it, she says she was Dancer #3 and met De Niro very briefly.

Meg and Saxon Hal

Films are for hippies and nerds, and they are far too busy wrestling endangered animals in australia.

Demoman’s Mother

She doesn’t know what Goncharov is, but she would want to watch it. I think she would be much more disappointed but the practical effects than Demo, though.

Olivia Mann

olivia mann is a 9 year old and can’t watch mafia movies, silly.

#unreality cw #tf2 #yeah i am going a little Silly #tf2 headcanons #tf2 medic #sniper tf2 #tf2 soldier #tf2 scout #tf2 engineer #transfem spy #team fortress 2 spy #tf2 heavy #demoman tf2 #tf2 pyro #goncharov (1973)#goncharov #cw unreality #unreality

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chessyhoward · 4 months

Text

"Give me a twirl, Chessy!"

Her little sister's face dominated the entirety of her phone screen, so that Chess could see right up Genevieve Howard's nose. Chess suppressed a giggle, filled with an ridiculous fondness for her younger sister. Between the time zones, Chess being busy with Hazel, and Genevieve planning a wedding, the Howard sisters rarely got the time to chat. So Chess soaked up whatever time with her sister she possible could. Whether that be a quick FaceTime before bed, or walking down a busy New York street. If the other woman called, Chess always answered.

"Fine!" Chess pretended to roll her eyes, standing up and setting her phone down across the room. Propping her iPhone up against a cart filled with complimentary snacks and fancy bottled water, Chess checked her outfit in the screen, watching as Gen clapped her hands together and wolf whistled.

"It's so fancy in there. Let me see... pleather skirt, white shirt, chunky boots... Francesca Howard, is that Jaxxy's racing jacket?" gasped Gen, her voice tinny through the speakers.

Chess blushed immediately, jogging to the phone as best she could in heels so she could snatch it back up, curls bouncing around her shoulders.

"He came over last week to give Hazel her Christmas present, he might have left it behind... and it goes with my outfit!"

Chess tugged at the stiff leather, admiring herself in the outfit. She knew very little about Jax's job, except that it meant he had ownership of a very stylish nineties Ferrari jacket, something Chess had been coveting for years. Gen snorted on the other end of the phone, shaking her head.

"Tongues will wag, sis." Gen tsked, causing Chess to roll her eyes for the second time in about five minutes.

"Yeah, I'm sure everyone will think I'm bonking Jackson Otto." she laughed, flicking her hair over her shoulder. It was common knowledge in close circles that Jax had no interest in anything Chess, nor any woman had to offer, although the girls who wrote explicit Fanfiction about him from the comfort of their bedrooms had yet to catch on to this glaring fact.

At that, Chess lifted her head as she heard a rap at the door to the press room. Dropping her voice to a whisper, Chess held the reciever up to her mouth.

"I have to go, Gen. Enjoy cake tasting, okay?"

"Okay!" her sister whispered back, "break a leg, Cheshire Cat!"

Hanging up abruptly, Chess shoved her phone into the depths of Jax's jacket pocket just as the door swung open, revealing one of the most beautiful women Chess had ever seen in real life.

"Francesca?" she queried, juggling a clipboard and coffee cup so that she could hold a hand out to Chess, in a haze of strong-smelling perfume and bright smiles. "I'm Meg Davis, the social media manager."

Taking her hand, Chess gave it a soft shake, offering her a bright smile.

"Just Chess is okay, really. That's the name I use on Instagram." she explained. Meg showed all her teeth when she smiled and managed to both look incredibly sexy yet approachable at the same time. She wondered if there was a way to ask her how she did it without sounding like she was flirting.

"Alrighty, Just Chess. You want to see where the magic happens?"

Nodding eagerly, Chess shoved her hands in her pockets as she followed Meg out of the press room and out into the small studio. There were a handful of Instagram hopefuls, like herself, who had already been set loose on the models, the free samples, the table from craft services. The whole place was bustling with activity, no matter where Chess looked, a harried intern was running holding fistfuls of clothing, a model Chess had pinned to her Pinterest board a thousand times over had sprung to life and was reviewing her photos from behind the camera. The brunette's heart felt fit to burst. This was a small facet of the fashion industry, but it was the closest Chess had ever come to being on the inside. What was the quote? Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. Chess was certain she could die happy here.

Realising Meg had been talking to her, Chess nodded eagerly, trying to tune back in to the tail end of her speech.

"... So you'll have free reign to vlog and take photos of the day, the models, and of course, the clothes. Pretty much anything you want as long as you're not in the way of the actual shoot. And then you'll be expected to put something on your feed about the free samples, ca-peesh?" she said, drawing out her words, and raising a single eyebrow at Chess to make sure she understood. Chess pressed her signature red lips together, nodding eagerly.

"Really, we just want you guys to have fun. We'll probably get some photos of you all at the end, if that's okay?"

The thought of being behind a professional camera was kind of terrifying to the young Mum. Chess was used to her own iPhone set up, her carefully posed selfies that got all of her best angles in. But she smiled and nodded nevertheless, she feared she was beginning to resemble a nodding dog, actually. Remembering to use her words she chirped, "Amazing!"

Giving Chess' arm a little squeeze, Meg dismissed herself with a, 'have fun!' and a little wave, before skittering off in her kitten heels to... do whatever social media managers did. Talk to more Instagram girlies like herself, she supposed.

Peering around at the chaos, Chess wondered where to start. Everyone else seemed so incredibly confident, chattering animatedly to their front-facing cameras and flirting with the photographer and models. She was used to doing everything from the comfort of her plush bedroom, not putting herself on blast in front of four other infuencers with higher follower counts, better equipment and more confidence than herself.

Deciding to start small, and with her favourite part, Chess wandered over to the clothing rack. Her stomach fizzed with delight as she approached the rich fabrics, feeling very much the desire to make like young Lucy Pevensie entering Narnia and dive right in, burying her face in the luxurious fabrics. She managed to contain herself, and settled for taking her phone out, swiping into the camera and starting to record.

She took a few arty shots of her running her perfectly manicured nails over the fabrics, figuring she could edit it into a bigger Instagram reel later. It would be cool to get some shots of her surroundings, work up to the scary stuff. Using her free hand, Chess shook a few dresses loose from the rack, holding each one up to the camera to show them off. They were pieces Chess could only dream of owning.

Panning away from the clothing rack, Chess began filming the overhead exposed lighting, figuring it would be good for something. Perhaps she could do a slow pan of the whole studio? Dropping her camera, Chess began to execute her, rather brilliant, idea, only to find herself filming the naked torso of a male model.

Nearly dropping her phone in shock, Chess juggled her iPhone from one hand to the other before finally catching it, holding it tight against her chest.

"Oh, sugar." Chess blushed, peering up apologetically at the man. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were..."

Chess gestured towards the man's glistening chest, trying not to stare anymore than she already had. Her eyes moved from her phone, to the man, and back again, feeling her eyes grow comically wide and her face red. Oh, she might as well give up and go home now.

"I'm here with Meg, for the... social media outreach thing? I'm not like a... sex pest."

Squeezing her phone tight, she choked out, "I'll delete your, um...shirtlessness."

#thread: matty1 #ft. matty

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