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akwardlyuncool · 3 months

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Class Favorites: Movie Ranks! (Part 2)

Welcome back for part 2 of Akward Class Favorites: Movie Rank!

If you missed Part 1, click HERE.

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21) The Good Guy (2009)

Beth wants to find love in the big city and once she thinks she's found just that, other things including "just friends" decide to show up as well.

Now I don't want to spoil anything, but if you've been around for a while you know how we feel about "the good guy," so just sayin. Now my takeaway is that it wasn't that bad. I still gave it 3 stars and Bryan Greenberg always plays some of my favorite slightly average white guys, with slight knowledge about random things. That being said, the movie does try (for just a moment) to romanticize Lolita (yes that book) and that's not okay! So it was alright, has a little mess, but not one I'm running out of my way to recommend.

22) Odd Man Rush (2022)

A kid who dreamed of playing professional hockey grows up to get signed to the B or is it C team in odd places around the world and this time it's Sweden, but at least there's a girl to talk to in the midst of all the cold weather.

This movie also wasn't that bad, but the whole time all I could think of was knock off Patrick Fugit and when it's not giving all it can, that thought doesn't help it's chances. I like sports movies, but in the world of re-watches, it's most likely going to be on because I've seen it at least once. With my 3 stars I probably rated it higher than the folks who this movie was forced upon, so note that it's because I don't hate everything like most people seem to lol.

23) Sorority Wars (2009)

Katie always planned to follow in her mother's footsteps and become a Delta just like mother, right alongside her best friend. Things take a turn though and nothing is like it's supposed to be.

This movie screams 2009 Lifetime movie, without a teen pregnancy. It has "cat fights" with superficial mean girls and then suddenly realizing you're above the bs and fakeness. If this is your thing, eat it up and if not you saved yourself an hour and a half of pettiness and not the supper good kind.

24) The Prince & Me 2: The Royal Wedding (2006)

Paige and Edvard are set to get married in a few weeks, but some old fuddy-duddy law comes out of the woodwork in attempts to stop the marriage from taking place.

Julie Stiles is one of my favorite actresses and if I ever met her the one question I would ask (obviously if I actually met her, I'd find a way better question lol) is why doesn't she play in any of the sequels to her hit movies lol? This has always bugged me and this particular movie is the prime example as to why that is.

What I love about Paige's character in the original Prince & Me felt lost this go around and their attempts at recreating her personality fell flat. The chemistry also wasn't there between Kam Heskin and Luke Mably (Paige and Edvard) and for a romance, that's more than half the battle. The spark just didn't exist the same way at all and that's dissapointing. The other thing that made it drop, was that it ended up being a little too hijinks-y for my me. I know that's how all of these princess sequels seem to go, but I wasn't super into it this time. If those two things had been better I would have enjoyed it way more.

All that being said, I will eventually watch the 2 following sequels that I ended up not watching this year and know that anyone who consumes these movies, like me will also watch the whole franchise too. (We're the same type of people who have seen all 7 Bring It On movies, as well as all 6 Cinderella Story films.)

25) Wedding Daze (2006)

Anderson is heartbroken over the loss of the woman he intended to marry, so after a year of moping and some encouragement from his best friend he decides to propose to the waitress in the diner that they're eating at.

Now I liked this movie for all the reasons I tend to like any movie from this era of romantic comedies, however I also didn't like it for all the reasons this era doesn't always land on me if I didn't see it in it's "prime." Again it's the hijinks and the tacky humor that bring it down. I don't hate those things, but they don't always hold up a movie the way we would like them to. It's cute and does a lot of the quirky romantic comedy things we smile over, but that's just not enough here. Bonus, it does feature Inches and Falling by The Format, so major points for that.

PS: I'm also not in the business of recommending J*son B*ggs to anyone right now, so there's that.

26) Double Mommy (2016)

*TW: Sexual Assault. Ryan and Jess broke up right before summer started. Jess is still in love with Ryan, which she states to his best friend Bryce, all summer long while they hang out to pass the time. When Ryan returns home he realizes he made a mistake and wants Jess back. They immediately fall back into old habits. Upon rekindling their love however, Jess realizes that she's pregnant with twins and Ryan isn't the only father.

This was during my Lifetime teen pregnancy binge. (I just needed stuff that wasn't gonna give me too much anxiety. And what is sleep.) The title was also hella messy, so I'm like let's go! I yelled at the screen so much while watching this one cause there's simply no other way to consume these films. You saw the title, you saw my description, of course that's how I watched this ish.

I'd been watching these movies all year, but this is where I really started to rack up the numbers of "Lifetime" trash. They're hot messes of quick, so they can pump them out faster and you can down them on whatever free streaming service you choose. I only recommend these movies to those who already eat this stuff up like it's candy and bad movie nights.

27) The Cheating Pact (2013)

Rich kids have more money than time and would rather pay someone to take take their college entrance exams than to risk the disappointment from their parents, who if they pass would pull their donor strings to get them into the good college anyway.

I thought I was getting a bad Perfect Score remake and to be fair it was bad (remember these are all rated on a curve) but when they decided to add the whole true crime element to the mix and not the money laundering/embezzlement kind, it became not as "fun" for me. I was engaged, but this was just too petty, cliché and started to involve crimes that wouldn't get them slaps on the wrists, so by the end I wasn't so into it.

28) Just Peck (2009)

*TW: Talks of suicidal ideation. Michael Peck (Keir Gilchrist) isn't one of the cool sophomores and his parents are a little overbearing with the psychology and therapy parenting style, which sometimes makes things worse. Even his friends consider themselves losers. When senior Emily Donaldson (Brie Larson) decides to let him and his friend ride in her car for a lunch smoke break, suddenly Peck thinks he's made a new friend.

This is filled with all the dark, edgy humor of our teen years and sadly that's what didn't win me over with this one. If you end up watching it, you'll notice how one of the big events of the film shines light to the overarching problems of the movie as a whole. It tried to laugh away the serious issues going on with these teens, in a way that very few actually laughed at for the right reasons. It will be for some, just not for me.

29) Remember The Daze (2007)

Last day of school in 1999 the kids decide a party and cruising is how they'll live it up.

This was a terrible rip-off of my beloved Dazed and Confused. Like they literally bit the title. It had none of the essence, none of the cool and I hated all the characters, except this one kid who went around taking pictures all day. Even the antagonists aren't done well, they're just ass-hats. This movie in it's recreation tried to spotlight the problematic behavior of D&C, without making any real statements of its own and in my opinion, actually making themselves look worse.

Like one example is that they tried to re-do Matthew McConaughey's character Wooderson, you know the guy who's still hanging out with the high school crowd, and made him 10 times more uncomfortable. Not excusing Wooderson's behavior at all, but he was someone you actually kinda wanted to hang out with because you thought he was cool, his replacement however gave all of the ick to where you might need a shower after being around him for longer than 2 minutes because he actually touched you. I'm sorry they just failed miserably at the "replacements."

One of the other things that failed this movie was the fact that it gave not one 90's vibe whatsoever. It was 2007 with maybe a 90's Nokia phone. No grunge, no soundtrack, no "like totally buggin" anything! I believed none of it's attempt at being a period piece. Just overall sad really.

Basically when you rip off a classic or classics, cause I saw many others pointed out how it also took bits from Can't Hardly Wait and American Graffiti too, at least try hard to live up to that legacy. 2 and a half stars for something that could have been decent had I not seen any teen movie made prior to the release of this one.

30) Magic Mike: Last Dace (2023)

Mike thinks he's taking one last gig before he goes back into retirement, but the London socialite decides his talents are more useful than a one night stand.

Meh, this was just way passed it's prime. It feels like when you're trying to relieve the glory days, so you become a coach. I don't know, it just didn't make me desire to have a half-naked man grind on me and although that's never truly been a desire of mine, the other films did better at the attempt. Now don't get it twisted, he's still Channing Tatum and he still has the ability to make me swoon, even during this whatever, it just wasn't what I was after. All that being said, go watch it. This is the type of movie you put on for the fun of it, not because it's gonna be great.

31) Hello Sister, Goodbye Life (2006)

College student Olivia Martin (Lacy Chabert) is being asked to take care of her 7 year old half sister, after her father and step-mother's untimely death. She must now decide if she wants to be a parent or enjoy her youth.

The movie probably deserved at least 3 stars (I gave it 2 and a half) because it wasn't that bad, but I wasn't moved and probably felt a little bored by it if I'm being completely honest. Predictable ending that could have used way more compromise than it gave. Again I watched a lot of "trash" this year cause they were fun, and although this wasn't exactly trash, it could be easily forgotten and thus why some of the actual "trash" beat it out lol.

32) Maine (2018)

Two strangers meet while hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Once their paths cross during a outdoor bathroom break, they become rather involved with one another.

This is the third Thomas Mann film on this list and although one of the more aesthetically pleasing watches, it ranked the lowest cause I couldn't figure out what it was actually trying to say. I gave it 2 and a half stars for the ending, cause it wasn't good, but I think that just means I didn't like the ending and it brought what could have been a 3 down. The movie is chill and vibe-y with some overcast and if that's your thing take the chance, just find the right place to stop and I think you'll be good.

33) Fallen (2006)

The day Aaron Corbett (Paul Wesley) turned 18, he found out that he wasn't just a teenage boy on the way to adulthood, but a Nephilim (human/angel) and now has to fight for a bigger cause than grades.

This was part of a 3 part mini-movie series back in the day on ABC Family and although I thought I'd watched it back then, I added it to this list cause I couldn't recall really anything that was happening and let it live like I had never seen it before. It wasn't good and probably felt a little overdone. I thought I might go and watch all 3 parts, but after sitting through the first one and all of it's "grand" fight scenes/family protecting, I knew I wasn't invested enough. I also thought I was getting the 2016 movie under the same name, so that probably had a negative effect on things as well. (I haven't seen the 2016 Fallen either, it's just what I thought I was going to be watching that day.)

I recommend this to the ABC Family nostalgia folks and Paul Wesley fans. That being said Bryan Cranston is in the other 2 parts, so maybe it might be worth testing the rest of the series out, just to see lol.

34) What Goes Up (2009)

*TW: Talks about subjects of suicide and inappropriate relationships between adults and minors. The misfits find one teacher they can trust and when that teacher dies and a new figure appears in his wake, will they too trust him in that same fashion? Campbell Babbit (Steve Coogan) is put on a newspaper assignment, to get off of writing about the woman he obsessively writes about at current. They want to get him onto more world news. like the Challenger Space Shuttle launch. He ends up slipping into the life of an old college buddy that has passed away, thinking he can figure out the students his friend left behind and maybe tell someone else’s story for a change.

This is the only movie that got a full review on the blog this year, so I won't rehash everything, however I will say that I totally get why it's this far down on the list. The ick just sat with me for most of the watch and upon it's conclusion I wasn't confident that things were cleared up, so I'm not sure I want anyone else to sit through that either. It's a dark film, with that misfit teen edginess that draws some people in and if you wanted to take a peak, on you, but not one I don't wave the red flag for.

35) Guilty At 17 (2014)

What happens when you believe your friend when they tell you they were assaulted by your teacher, but you're not 100% sure they were telling you the truth? Guilt is a strong feeling.

The movie doesn't go full mask off into the whole "women lie" territory, however it does act as the what-if, devils advocate, to that belief. It rides the line of that narrative too close for me to be like "yeah lets go!." You're upset and irritated for most of the movie and the story it was trying to tell wasn't even done well. The guilt that looms the whole time was the "heart beating underneath the floorboards" and at a certain point you're over waiting for the big reveal. This one I watched because Chloe Rose from Degrassi and Erin Sanders from Zoey 101 were in it. I'm pulled by anything with Degrassi Alumni. If you like movies that play unnecessary devil's advocates, go for it, but this is not one I'll be quick to recommend to the toxic masses.

36) Double Daddy (2015)

*TW: Sexual Assault. Cameron's life is turned upside down when he finds out his girlfriend and the new girl at school are both pregnant, supposedly by him.

Just like Double Mommy, this movie is UNHINGED! They both have similar plots, but this one adds more of that "ticket to the good life" aspect that so many people love. Although unhinged keeps you engaged for sure, there was a lot of off personality moments that you get tired of real quick. Remember the curve and all that ish, not everything that's bad is good and not all of them will make it to the coveted 3 stars.

Double Daddy and Double Mommy are ones that I absolutely would recommend... for bad movie night. Like this is a true LET'S GO! for the category. And you have to subject yourself to both, because of course you do.

37) Beautiful Disaster (2023)

*Based on a book of the same name by Jamie McGuire. Let's avoid the "bad-guy" that's totally not good for us, but find a way to sleep in his apartment and maybe even his bed every night. You know, until your "bad-girl" past starts to be the real issue.

Y'all know how much I don't like New-Adult books and the movie adaptations are just as egregiously bad. No I did not read this book (or at least I don't think I did, but if I had it would have been a million years ago and my memory of the books I would have finished in a day isn't great) however if you've read a couple, you've read plenty.

I'm tired of bad boys who aren't bad boys and love stories that revolve around 18/19/20 year old girls/women who find themselves engrossed in men/boys, but in a completely toxic ways. It's one thing if it's about new experiences and growth and young love, riding the high of something, but it's a whole other deal when you take that and have allowed yourself to barely even breathe before you say how high you're gonna jump with this person. I didn't get to watch an After movie this year, so this is the After stand-in. I will say that it's not as toxic as After, but the rushing to be all in, was just as present here as it was there.

Now side note, I'm not saying that Dylan Sprouse is unattractive or a bad actor, but once again I don't believe his performance as these particular characters, in these particular movies that he's playing. I don't know, maybe the stories just don't sell any of this to me and I just want to say "nope" to it all.

All of that being said, yes I will watch the sequel coming out in 2024 because even when it's bad, like 2 stars bad, that toxicity keeps me coming back for more. You know, just to see. Disclaimer though: I can tell that these things aren't good and I don't want relationships like them, which is why I can separate myself when I watch them, but if you can't do that and you're idolizing these characters, you need to touch a little grass and find better influences. Just sayin.

38) Stalked At 17 (2012)

CW: Teenager has relationship with a guy who's already graduated. You're young and in love, so a pregnancy should strengthen that love, but sometimes love doesn't conquer all and sometimes it gets violent and won't let you go.

I'll say that this movie wasn't great, but you already predicted that, so I'll say that you spend most of the time irritated, cause no we should not trust guys who can't find girls their own age to put up with their bs and who carry their violent flags on their sleeves with them. To be fair said she's only 17, so her not seeing all the RED makes sense. It also ended up here because the ending was trash and brought the rest of the movie down with it. Not worth it, unless you want to see a guy named Chad live up to the worst version of what the Chad stereotype can be and then get even more mad when the ending screws you over lol.

39) Locked Away (2010)

You're pregnant and although your boyfriend is supportive, because your mom is not, you still look for other maternal figures to get advice from. You better choose wisely though, cause not everyone is innocent.

I promise that this is the last Lifetime Teen pregnancy movie on this list lol, but I can see how 5 or so of them out of 41 is a lot. I mainly pulled this one out because it has Jake Thomas of Lizzie McGuire in it and you know how nostalgic cast members can pull me with a quickness. Despite the casting pull, this one was far too unrealistic true-crime for me and I can only take so much murder being added into spaces it does not need to be. Like these writers must sit there and go "let's sprinkle in a murder just for the funzies of it." There was also a lot of random trust given too, that suspended my belief systems while watching and I was not in line. Basically give me less murderous true crime and mindless trust and you might score higher.

40) American Satan (2017)

A bi-continental band from the U.S and UK named the Relentless decide to forgo college for LA and ultimately Rock & Roll. To get to their dreams however, they might have to sell their souls to the devil.

Oh man was this one bad. I started it a while back, like years ago but never finished it, cause it didn't sit right with me and now having seen the whole thing I get why. I've seen other "sell your soul to the devil" movies, the 1986 Crossroads is a great example, but American Satan does not tell that story well. This movie doesn't even make a statement or tell me something real and honestly I don't even know if I was supposed to enjoy it. I do consider this one to be actual trash.

I didn't know this until I got to the spin-off TV show Paradise City, which I also watched because of Cameron Boyce, but Ash Avildsen of Sumerian Records wrote and directed this mess. If you're part of the alt scene, I'm sure you would have heard that Ash is kinda trash himself, especially because of what he said about Covid and booster shots on the record label's social media page, not even his personal page. Again I didn't put two and two together before watching, but after seeing how he's personally behaved, it gives this film extra red flags.

Now this movie doesn't speak to vaccines or anything like that, it came pre-vid, however one of its major flags is it taking the allegations that get talked about in the real world scene, pertaining to adult band members and potential minor fans, and using that not once but twice as large plot points. Sure we're talking Sex, Drugs & Rock and Roll, but it's a really bad look, to on multiple occasions use something many are actively trying to fight against in the scene and to me reducing that to " fame-drama" that "just happens" and something that can be skated by. So writing that multiple times, unnecessarily, definitely gives me the whole trash can. (Or maybe Ash just doesn't know how to tell a good "groupie" story? If that's even what he's trying to convey?)

Beyond that seriousness, one of my personal grievances was the fact that Andy Biersack (of Black Veil Brides) who actually has a very decent singing voice was dubbed and ended up sounding worse. How you gon take one of the biggest artists from your record label and do them so dirty like that? Also, and this is a hella hella side note, I think Andy is SO attractive, but his spicy scenes between the movie and the show were so unsexy that they were a little painful to watch lol.

Basically it was so bad that I wouldn't even recommend it to fans of the bands they got to act in the movie. Hope these guys get more work in the future, cause I would hate for this to be their acting legacy.

41) Last Day Of Summer (2009)

Joe (DJ Qualls) has been picked on his whole life and even as an adult his manager and coworkers are still laying the torment on pretty thick. One day Joe decides he's gonna do something about it and was almost brave enough, but ends up kidnapping an innocent woman instead.

This is one of, if not the most incel movie I've ever seen. Not to spoil anything, but one of the major plots of this movie is literally based on a look he thought this woman gave him. That's why all of the other ish takes place; a damn look! I have a list of the actual worst movies I've ever seen, movies that you don't show at bad movie night and in 2023 I added the second film, this one. I'm a DJ Qualls fan and he plays the nerdy, awkward kid that gets picked on, very well, but I'm sad and a little embarrassed, even for the characters that he plays, that this movie is apart of his filmography. Don't do it, not worth whatever idea you think you're going to get yourself into.

#AKWARD CLASS FAVORITES #Class Favorites 2023 #Movies #American Satan #Lifetime Movies #Beautiful Disaster #Remember The Daze #DJ Qualls #Lacy Chabert #Movie Reviews

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