Don't get why Tumble hates Hallmark/Lifetime movies
So back helping out my mother/on vacation, so I'm around a lot of Hallmark and Lifetime movies playing in the background. Once again I'm so confused why Tumblr hates them
They have
Bland pretty white people having tepid romance
Characters that i would struggle to call 1 dimensional
Stakeless plot that honestly isn't even a plot, but a string of cutsie romantic moments stitched together
That is 90% of the shipper posts/fanfics I see cluttering the tags. There is nothing Tumblr likes more than taking a horror/sci-fi/fantasy/adventure property, stripping the characters of any recognizable traits, focusing entirely on shipping, and changing the setting to some small-town coffee shop romance. It's like "Wow! These people are pretty! I'm going to take these characters, strip away everything about them or their setting or their story, and make them the main characters of my T-list attempt at making smut"
What's the matter? Is it too straight? I'm sure that if instead of a het couple with the personality and romantic chemistry of a wet paper towel you made them two white dudes, the straight women with a fetish for gay white men I'm sorry courageous fangirls would praise the lukewarm writing, amateur acting, and chaste sexless romance as the best queer representation they had ever seen
“After she is attacked by a shark during her 18th birthday celebration, Laura finds herself being stalked by the local hero who believes that she owes him her life.”
[…] Nick, Bre, and Parker have surprised Laura with a birthday-decorated boat of unknown origins. For real.
[Laura:] “Whose boat is this?”
[Nick:] “Don’t worry about it.”
I’m a little bit worried about it, Nick. Especially since the boat’s name is—and I am so sorry to tell you this, but—OPEN WIDE.
So. I can only assume it belongs to a pervert.
(This might also be an attempt to reference the upcoming shark attack, but. Jesus Christ, guys, how many people did this go through before you filmed it, and none of you considered the IMPLICATIONS??)