HELLO! I feel like I haven't bothered you in ages (life and time zones, am i right? 🫠)
ANYWAY this is just a drive-by hello and a "I hope you're doing okay" and a "I'm leaving some flowers on your doorstep" ask. 🌻🌼
HELLO hi omg the flowers 🥺💛 🌼
life is flat out right now, I'm in sydney at a very big anime con (working lol) BUT I had some kimchay au thoughts I posted on twitter the other day and I'm just. no editing gonna collate them here for your perusal
so. kimchay drift compatible
kim who's never been able to match up with anyone. he's very violent at that fight thing and gets a little too fierce and gleeful over taking ppl down. no ones getting in his head thanks
chay who moved to base once his brother matched up with that famous kinn guy. porsche started taking chay's training seriously after that. but chay is the baby of the base, and he leans into that, he prefers it!
wik started getting famous a few yrs ago. no one knows who he is, he just occasionally hacks into (non critical) communications and plays music. he's a well loved secret through all the SEA bases. chay is maybe the moderater in a wik forum that may or may not track him obsessively
more:
kim is keeping it a secret, everyone thinks he let chay win on the fight mats. he didn't. he wasn't as vicious as he usually is, he made sure of that. but he didn't hold back. chay tripped him up - kim underestimated him. chay got him on his back in the middle of a crowded room
anyway something something kim and chay both winded, wide eyed and in shock as chay tumbles them down to the mats. chay gets to go into the drift with him now. he gets to see inside of him
bonus vegaspete in this world:
pete unassuming and doesn't rly show his true skill on that fight floor. vegas burning through partners vindictively and viciously. pete's considered compatible with a lot of people, a back up brain if you will
when pete matches up with vegas, vegas does his thing and goes after him in the drift with his mind like a knife. he can fight and make it hell on his partners at the same time, it's a fun hobby for him! but instead it's deep waters. pete's mind just swallows him
I just needed to remind everyone about a fantastic anon i got around five years ago that i even tagged as "the best anon ever" lmaoooo they sent me this poem and it made me laugh so hard back then, but i'm laughing just as hard now that i've remembered that they exist lololol ahhhh, memory lane.
last song i listened to: an interlude called "circus" by saba and eryn allen kane; this song is way too short imho but it really scratches an itch in my brain.
currently reading: the atlas six by olivie blake; I just started this but it seems good so far! this is ofc immediately proceeding my read of HOSAB so i'm in recovery for sure. :x
currently watching: i just finished modern family which was quite the undertaking. im starting shadow and bone now!
current obsessions: reading/writing (all things SJM), the public library and community involvement, ruhn "knew three things" danaan's lip ring.
my tags! @buckycuddlebuddy @oliviajdjarin @brekkershadowsinger @azrielhours @scubaby @fineghkst @tadpolesonalgae @nesta-houseofwindfantasy @portkeytomyworld (and anyone else who feels like participating :P)
the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????
i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.
so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.
something so fucked up about Chat Noir’s whole deal is that he is in a lot of ways Adrien playing a character. Like Adrien picked up his miraculous and was told he’d be a superhero so he was like “ok, time to act like a superhero!” and he lets himself have fun w it and play up the role and let loose and kind of just allow himself to be silly and goofy and have fun and for once in his life not care about performing Perfection™.
But. But none of the other characters KNOW THAT. So everyone just sees Chat Noir and is like “look at this guy’s ego. He’s so full of himself. Surely it’d be fair to knock him down a few pegs” without being aware of how few pegs he actually HAS. He’s like the “insecure character who overcompensates in ego” trope except he’s really not doing it unironically, he’s just having a fun LARP pretending to have self worth in his off-hours but nobody else is on the same page about it being a game and he refuses to tell them. He just dramatically pouts about it and lets them laugh and pretends like he’s not internalizing it and it is almost 3 am and my brain forced me to write this instead of sleeping I’m gonna take a melatonin
the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.