#Kuro is literally so cute just sitting on his head *O *

[sporadicthingcollection]

Smash or Pass: Part 4/4 (LA!Buggy the Clown x Reader)

Summary: It's the last stop before the Grand Line and you slink away for a quiet evening. The universe, however, decides to clown on you. Sequel to Kiss, Marry, Kill. Pairing: LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader Rating: Semi-explicit. Warnings: Attempted murder. Word Count: ~3.6k.

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PART 4: In which you prepare for a walk of shame, avoid eating your hair, and do some storm prepping.

Oh, what a wonderful dream. There you were, the High Surgeon Princess, besieged by uncultured swine. You thought for sure your time was up, but then the Harlequin Outlaw swooped in like the incorrigible, irascible rapscallion you've always wanted in your life and saved you from certain doom and dishonor. You graciously treated his wounds and one thing led to another and you fucked like rabbits in springtime. You got married and had two-point-five children and lived happily ever after in a castle with a white picket fence.

Unfortunately, your marital bliss is interrupted by the sun on your face and a battleaxe pingponging around in your skull.

You grumble. You hate Drunk You. She’s a bitch who doesn’t know her limits. Next time you see her, you’re gonna kill her.

Your cheek is stuck to something smooth, your arm is under something heavy, and something wispy tickles your lashes. You open your eyes to find that they’re all the same thing -- a broad expanse of tanned skin stretched taut over hard muscle, draped with a head of long, blue hair.

Alright, maybe Drunk You isn’t so bad. She knows your tastes and left you a thoughtful gift. Maybe you’ll get a bonus round.

You drape your other arm over him and explore. Nice pecs, fuzzy chest, cock semi-erect… ooh, soft belly. Very nice.

You walk your fingers up to his face. Stubble, pierced ear…  what the hell is that on his face? 

You sit up as much as you can with your arm stuck under your gentleman friend.

Your memories come rushing back like water through a sluice. Your blood turns to ice. You’re never drinking again.

You’re stuck. In bed. Naked. With Buggy. Buggy. Fucking Buggy. Not Kuro, who at least had some class while he tried to eviscerate you. Not Mihawk, who has no beef with you personally and doesn’t wear a shirt. Not even that handsome Marine with the sword and suit.

You could have lived with any of those, but no, you wake up next to the most pathetic man in the four Blues. A literal clown. A vainglorious loser. A man who wants to rip your captain, your best friend, limb from limb and feed him to sharks.

Do you think you could chew your arm off before he wakes up? 

You look for any sign of him stirring. Eyes closed, hair falling in his face, lips parted slightly as he breathes. One strong arm tucked underneath his head and the other in a loose fist by his mouth.

He looks so cute and peaceful. Ugh.

He shifts enough for you to free your arm and, just as you thank the gods, he lets out a snore that could have come from an ox. You can’t help but laugh.

Maybe this wasn’t a mistake. Maybe this was two people fooling around. Maybe nothing will come of this and you'll both go on your merry way with a fond memory of a night of drinking, dancing, and screwing. La-di-da-di-day. Everyone wins.

You stand up on shaky legs and examine yourself. A lot of little bruises on your thighs where he gripped you, but no hickeys. Thank God.

There’ll be no hiding the walk of shame, but you can at least maintain some dignity. You fix your hair, rinse your mouth out with the water in the dry sink basin, and sponge bath yourself with…

Hmm. No washcloth and you're out of rags. There’s gotta be something around here you can use.

Like the candy cane bandanna on the floor. You snatch it up and, wetting it, give yourself a quick wipe down. Pits, tits, pussy, as the saying goes. You'd never forgive yourself if you got something nasty from this.

“Oh,” says a soft voice. 

You turn. Buggy, propped up on his elbow, blinks sleepily at you. The sun lights up his hair like a shallow sea on a calm morning, shifting and shimmering as he brushes a few strands out of his face.

Your stomach jumps up your throat in a most pleasant way. Clearly, it’s conspiring with your heart against your brain.

He rubs those wide, gorgeous eyes. “Thought you’d’ve made your exit.”

You were about to. You shrug. "Just enjoying the view. Counting the masts.”

Hook baited. The joke is right there. Right there. He’ll say ‘I’ve got a mast for you right here, hur hur’ and you’ll have an excuse to get the hell outta here.

But he smiles. Not the showman’s smile he gets before he says something he thinks is clever. It’s soft. Warm. The kind of smile one bestows in private to those deemed worthy.

"Glad you didn't," he says.

Your brain puts up a valiant defense, but the heart-stomach alliance is winning. You swallow.

His smile wavers slightly. “Is that my bandanna?”

Shame burns your ears. "Sorry. I'll wash it--"

He flaps his hand dismissively. "Keep it. I've got plenty."

He pulls the sheets back and by God, nothing has ever looked as tempting as him. Him, a pirate with a weird nose who tried to kill you, sprawled out on scratchy, threadbare sheets, his fat cock laying there so deliciously—

You swallow again. Your pussy has joined the siege on your brain and they’ve voted to rename it the Organ Entente.

He stretches as he stands, his muscles rippling as he pops and rolls his joints. Sunlight pours over his body, draping him in liquid gold. He pulls his hair from its ponytail and gives it a good shake before putting it back up.

Lest your eyes join the fight as well, you turn away. Count the masts in the harbor. See if you can spy any Marines. Find the Merry.

Two strong arms drape around your shoulders, pulling you against a broad, warm chest. He rests his chin on your head. “Think I can see my ship from here,” he murmurs.

And in jumps your skin from the top rope. The nerves have betrayed the brain, charging over the ridge to aid the Entente in its assault. “Yeah?”

“Right over there. The Big Top.” He points to a perfectly normal-looking ship, nothing like the beast that waylaid you a few weeks ago. “Well, she’s the Loosey Baru now. Heard the Marine captain's a real bulldog, so we did her makeup and gave her a costume change.”

“Amazing what you can get away with when your sail’s not a big Jolly Roger.” You were the only one against putting a giant WE ARE PIRATES sign on your mainsail, but you got outvoted.

His chest thrums as he giggles. “Subtlety is for cowards.”

You scoff. “Subtlety is for people who like not being in prison.”

"And being flashy is for people like me.” His head moves to your shoulder. His stubble scratches against your cheek. “Who like meeting girls like you.”

The Entente breaks through the wall and feelings flood your brain. Warm feelings. Fuzzy feelings. Feelings that make you absently kiss the side of his nose before you’re even conscious you’re moving.

Buggy goes stiff and not in the fun way that pokes your kidneys. He jerks away from you, gaze hard as he searches your face. Whatever he’s looking for, he must not find it, because a moment later he kisses your lips.

Overwhelmed, your brain surrenders. The Entente celebrates by jumping around all through your body, bouncing from your head to your toes. They also must have fired off a twenty-one-gun salute, too. Why else would your ears be ringing like bells? Big bells? Big, glorious, golden wedding bells?

But it's over as soon as it started. He pulls away and straightens up. “C'mon, let's get outta here before the matron gives us the hook."

Dressing goes smoothly enough for the both of you. Socks and gloves are retrieved. Drawers are located. Your bra and his scarf are found. You stuff his bandanna into your pocket and he settles on a ponytail.

You’re pulling on your trousers when you see him looking in a small compact mirror, carefully drawing green swoops on his face with what looks like an oil pastel.

“Makeup at a time like this?” you ask.

“Flashiness is next to godliness.” He draws a cross on his forehead, then regards himself. “Ech, I need a shave...”

You pause as you fasten your belt. “Gimme a few grand and I’ll shave you so smooth you’ll look like a ten-year-old. Promise not to cut your tongue off this time.”

“Done.” He swaps the green pastel for a tube of lipstick and moves on to his mouth, smearing his lips red. “Gonna have to straighten out my cabin first. Place’s been a mess since... well, always."

You pause mid-bra hooking. "Huh?"

“Haven’t shared with anyone ‘til now.” He rubs his lips together. “Not like it’s dirty — just clothes and shit everywhere. Hope you don't need much closet space.”

What the hell is he on about? You pull your shirt over your head. “Sharing quarters?”

“What, you think I’d stick you in with the freaks? My bed’s big enough for two.” With the back of his wrist, he smears the color onto his cheeks and into the gruesome smile he’s known for. “Not to mention that it's a bed and not a hammock. You ever try to fuck in a hammock? Ain't easy, lemme tell ya."

You lace up your shoes. "I have no idea what you’re on about."

"I’ll show you when we get back to the ship."

"What ship?”

Any mirth in Buggy's face vanishes. He looks at you, brows knit. "My ship," he says slowly. “We’ll get you settled, then I’ll go take care of my business, and we'll haul anchor when I get back."

The audacity of this man. "You really think Luffy'll let you kidnap me? He'll be on you like suckers on a squid."

He’s giving you a look you know well: the do-you-need-a-psych-eval-cuz-you’re-talking-crazy look. “Since when is going with someone willingly kidnapping?” 

You return the look. "What the hell makes you think I'm going with you at all?"

He pockets the lipstick and clicks the compact shut. He steps towards you. “You said if I screwed you to the wall, you’d come with me. I did just that. And then I asked if you meant it, and you said you did.”

"That's not--" You falter. Okay, you can see how bringing up what he said and telling him to do it could be misinterpreted.

Well, shit. Miscommunication strikes again. "Sorry you got your hopes up."

Buggy falters. Something stirs the rivers of his eyes, the same vulnerable, hurt something you saw lurking when you'd insulted his nose. His gaze drifts downwards and his jaw clenches.

Remorse douses you in a bucket of ice water. You're officially a giant asshole. And a slut. And a dumb bitch lush who hurt someone you actually started caring about.

For a moment, you consider recanting. Go with him. Run off and join the circus like you always threatened you would. Sail the seas with a colorful cast. Get rocked every night.

You stop yourself. Enough. You hate a captive audience, you're not a pillager, and while you are a slut, you're not desperate. You have people you know you can trust. Stick with them. Don't jump in with the wildcard.

Buggy huffs, snapping you out of your musings. The hurt in his eyes has faded and the rivers are still. The eerie calm before the storm surge.

"You led me on," he growls.

"I did no such--"

A knife flies past your head, taking off a few strands of hair and shattering the window.

Buggy's shoulders rise and fall rapidly. He readies another knife. "I'm gonna rip your lying tongue out."

You suppose that's karma. You edge towards the window and he matches your step. Another knife narrowly misses the back of your head.

“And then I'm gonna drag you across the keel by your fingernails."

Ouch. A third knife sails past your nose. You're almost there...

"And then I'll nail your corpse to the figurehead!" 

He lunges at you and you at him. You dive low, hitting the floor as he hits the dry sink and leaves the way to the door wide open.

Unfortunately for you, it's locked. You turn the bolt only to be pulled away and spun around by the strap of your satchel.

Buggy pins you against the door, yet another knife at your throat, his arm against your chest, and his knee between your legs. It would be hot if it wasn't for the deranged churn and roil in his eyes.

"I'm gonna ask one more time," he says. “You coming with?”

“No,” you spit. You try to kick him off, but he holds you fast.

He cracks a bit in both composure and voice. “What’s that little rubber prick got that I don’t, huh?! What's it gonna take?!”

“He’s never tried to kill me.” Not on purpose, anyways. “And he doesn't hurt innocent people.”

Frustration ripples through his eyes, and his gaze drifts downwards. “Well, I’m hurt.”

"You're not exactly innocent!" He doesn't notice your hand sneaking towards the knob. "He'll have to be dead, dying, or catatonic before I leave him."

He looks back up. Defeat hardens into determination. "Consider it done."

You really shouldn’t say what you’re about to say, but the words are out before you can stop them. “Good fuckin' luck, big nose.”

The river rages. The floodgates crack and the levees break. He drops the knife and reels back a punch.

You twist the knob. The door opens outwards and he sails past you, landing a heap on the floor. 

"Sorry," you say. You really do mean it. He tries to grab your ankles, but you dodge his hands.

The bar looks like a stampede went through it. The matron looks up from her cleaning as you leap down the stairs. "How's your boyfriend?"

"Trying to kill me." You sprint for the front door, only to pause. "This happens a lot. Situation normal." One more pause. "And he's not my boyfriend."

An impotent roar hits your ears. "I'm gonna make you eat your hair!"

And there's your cue. Exit, pursued by a clown.

---

In hindsight, it makes sense that Sanji would be in the galley making breakfast. You still scream like you saw a corpse when he greets you, but he doesn’t take it personally. Just offers you a warm drink and a place to sit.

You sit at the counter while he pours you a steaming mug of black coffee. You drink deeply. “How do you always manage to make a perfect cup?”

“If I told you that, I’d be out of a job.” He returns his attention to the stove. “So what’s his name?”

You almost spit your coffee all over him. “Say again?”

“You're gone all night and come home in the morning looking like you ran the whole way.” He gives you a sympathetic smile. “Will you at least tell me if you were chased? Just in case we need to bust some heads.”

“I think I lost him by the shipyard.” You stare into the swirling steam. “If you fell in love with someone, would you leave the crew to be with them?”

Sanji’s gaze drifts upwards. "Didn't I already?" 

But he's... Oh. Ooooh. "Alright, that was smooth. But you know what I mean."

He pulls a frying pan from the cabinet, gazing into its sheen like a scrying mirror. "I'm not sure. Depends." He looks up. “Is this the same person who sent you running?”

“No,” you say on impulse. Sanji continues to stare at you. You slump. “Yes.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Love always hits like a hurricane,” he says. You quirk your eyebrow at him. “Old East Blue saying. It's sudden, fast, and sweeps you off your feet.”

Not the only thing that does that. "Speaking from experience?”

“First time I saw you, love,” he says with a wink and a smile.

You blush in spite of yourself and laugh. “Call me in ten years. I’m a bit old for you.”

His smile grows. “Could have fooled me.” He clicks the burner on and turns to dig around in the refrigerator. “So, tell me about your temptation.”

“What's there to say? Boy meets girl, boy drinks with girl, boy dances with girl, boy kisses girl…” Boy blows girl's back out, boy gets his heart broken, and boy threatens to make girl eat her hair. “...and here I am.”

“Sounds like a swell guy.” He sets a stick of butter, a rasher of bacon, and a dozen eggs on the table. "At least you had fun."

You snort. “So what do I do about B—” You catch yourself. “About this hurricane of mine?”

Sanji looks at you. Not that accusing right-into-your-soul look that Nami does, but like a man contemplating fish in a pond. “Well, you could build a sea wall, evacuate to higher ground, dance around naked in the rain…”

You chuckle. You wouldn’t mind seeing that. “What would you do?”

He smiles. “Batten down the hatches and enjoy the rising tide.”

You nod. Certainly something to chew on.

Standing, you take your mug. “I’m going to sit on deck. Photosynthesize a bit,” you say. You smile. “Thanks for listening, Sanji. I mean it.”

"Any time, love. I'd never judge." He cracks eggs one by one into the frying pan. “Every big storm has a name. What’s this one?"

You pull the bandanna from your pocket. You should hang it out to dry. “Hurricane Buggy.”

As you head out on deck, you hear the mighty splat of eggs hitting the floor.

---

The Buggy Pirates are no stranger to their captain's mercurial temper. Laughing one moment, shouting the next, then throwing a violent fit about who knows what, then back to cackling.

But this is extreme even for him.

They linger outside his cabin, listening to the crashing and slamming. No shouting, though. Just the occasional huffing and puffing, followed by the crack of splintering wood and the whunk of knives hitting the wall.

"How long's he been at this?" the strongwoman asks the fire eater.

"Longer than usual," he mutters. "No one knows why."

The old fortune teller -- also the cook -- crosses her arms. "He was gone all night and he comes back with a love bite. Could only have been a woman."

The shatter of glass makes everyone flinch. Still, not a sound from the captain.

"Could've been a fella," the strongwoman says.

The cook shakes her head. "I've been around a long time, girl. Only a woman could drive a man to this sort of madness. The fury of a woman scorned is nothing compared to the rage of a rejected man."

The contortionist rolls his eyes. "So he fucked around and found out. So what? Mohji said he had eyeballs on the rubber kid's crew. We need to move."

The strongwoman casts him an appraising look. "If you wanna go in and get him, be my guest."

He blinks, then frowns. He crosses his arms. "We could all go in there."

"I'm not gonna fight a guy with a shitload of knives."

"We can take him. Not like he can't stab all of us."

"He literally can."

"Wait. Shh, shh, shh." The fire eater puts a finger to his lips and holds up his hand. "You hear that?"

They all listen. They hear nothing. Silence.

He presses his ear to the door. "He's singing," he says with a frown.

They all glance at each other. That's never a good sign. "Singing what?"

"You know the one about the guy who gets drunk and kills his woman and gets hanged for it?" They nod. "That one."

The cook gives the strongwoman her famous told-ya-so look. The strongwoman rolls her eyes.

The door opens. The fire eater leaps away and everybody tries to look like they weren't eavesdropping as Captain Buggy comes strolling out, fiddling with his scarf and humming. He looks perfectly normal -- well, as normal as a man like him can look.

He speaks like he hasn't spent the last hour tearing his cabin apart. "Mornin', folks!"

The marksman looks at the strongwoman. Say something, it says. She shakes her head and looks at the cook. She looks at the contortionist, who looks right at the captain.

"Rough night, cap'n?" he asks.

Captain Buggy freezes. Everyone flinches.

Slowly, he turns to the contortionist. His expression doesn't change as a disembodied hand snatches the man by the neck and throws him into the water. Everyone jumps away, but nobody dares move any more.

Captain Buggy recalls his hand. "Mohji's found Rubber Boy, huh?" he says. "Great! Right on schedule. One little last minute change, though. The brunette with the long hair? I want her alive."

They look at each other again. "I thought we were gonna kill them all," the strongwoman says.

"Oh, we will. First, I kill Rubber Boy. His ass is still mine. Then you all clean up his little friends. And then..." His voice drops. "I teach the little diva a lesson, and then I'm gonna kill her." The darkness vanishes, and he returns to being jovial. "But first, breakfast!"

He strolls off, humming to himself. As soon as he's out of earshot, the cook speaks.

"Oh, he has got it bad," she says.

---

Take a look at a boy like me

Never stood on my own two feet

Now I'm blue as I can be

Oh, love come get me down!

---

A/N: And here end the melodramatics! a big thanks to everyone who read and commented and reblogged and liked and sent asks (askers ilu especially, i see a 1 by the envelope and my day is immediately made) 💙 i've got some ✨idears✨ in the pipeline for what's next, but in the meantime... stay flashy~

⬅⬅⬅ | To the "Curious Courtship" Masterpost | To the Mastahpost | Tip Jar | ➡➡➡

#buggy the clown #buggy x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown x reader #kiss marry kill #one piece x reader #one piece #one piece live action #fan fiction #one piece fanfiction #reader insert #x reader #emberly writes #smash or pass #the curious courtship of buggy the clown

[bakugohoex]

Can I request general relationship hcs with kuroo? Thanks!

“you’re all mine, kitten”

pairing: tetsuro kuroo x female reader

cw: fluff, implied NSFW, kissing 

word count: 2100+

a/n: kuroo is smol and is a baby who i love, but we all want him to rail us um chile anyways so-

summary: in which you’re in a relationship with kuroo

↞ back to haikyu!! masterlist

Big dick energy, that’s all I’m saying BIG DICK ENERGY

Not only is this baby packing but he just a cocky science nerd who will send you science jokes and memes every hour of the day

Your whole Instagram dms are just the same meme in different fonts

His hair is soft but just knotty, you spend half an hour unknotting it because you know he would not care

He got other priorities he only lets you do it because he sits between your thighs

Will call you kitten and will have you saved as kitten on his phone

He’ll wait for you after every class to take to your next, he feels bad about you waiting after volleyball practice so this is him making it up to you

You both end up going to Kenma’s at night because you see his light on and make him go to sleep

Kenma hates how it’s become having two parents now

Baby will squish your face in every photo you have together, if his hands aren’t on your face it’ll be on your body

He smacks your ass in public this man has no chill

He’ll make you study with him just to spend more time with each other

Would do that Tiktok with you where he wears a maid outfit and you sit between his thighs, comments be thirsty for our maid boy and you’d simp even more for him

Whenever you make food you have to make extra because he pouts if he doesn’t get any of it

He does the obnoxious laugh where he holds his stomach when you act snarky with his team

He in love with you

Can’t lie will ask to fuck anywhere, will literally text a cute paragraph being like ‘good morning good luck for your test kitten *heart eyes*’ and then 20 minutes later send ‘I found an empty classroom, quickie?’

This man has no chill, but you’ll accept cause its Kuroo

He’d make you be Nekoma’s manager which means you become a parent to the whole team

Couch Nekomata doesn’t mind because you control them all and he loves how you make the team and Kuroo specifically work harder

When he blocks a ball, you know his ass would look straight to you to make sure you watched, you’d always cheer him on though because he’d get sad and do a Bokuto which is what nobody needs

You get made to come to the training camp and he gets way to protective over you because this is the first time you’ve met everybody properly

He’s wary of Karasuno and even Bokuto (even though you and Bokuto were already friends)

He protec, he attac but most importantly he loves your ass

“You’re staying by my side for the whole week, okay?” His arms were wrapped around your waist as his chest was behind your back, you stared up at his neck and jaw, laughing at the comment, “it’s not funny, Y/n, you’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread hotness everywhere”

He had started to pout as you face him, Karasuno’s bus arriving shortly, the rest of the schools had already arrived and when Bokuto had given you a hug from not seeing you in a while, Kuroo was pouting like a lost puppy. He had decided that from then on you would be attached to him and if you weren’t he wouldn’t rest till you were near him or in his eyesight,

“You’re being jealous Tetsu,” you had moved to see his face properly his arms still around your waist, as his hold on you was gently but possessive.

“But they might spend more time with you.” He mutters out.

“Kuro leave Y/n-chan alone.” Kenma spoke as the bus came through the gates.

You smiled shaking your head at Kenma who had looked up from his game, “thank you Kenma”

Kuroo didn’t reply instead holding onto your waist as his body shifted to suit the height difference, as much as you loved Kuroo, his love for you had no bounds and the lack of attention you had been giving him was neither yours fault it was just a perk of being manager.

“Daichi.” You smiled out having met him weeks prior, Kuroo’s hand still around your waist as you both walked towards the team.

“Y/n-chan.” The small orange haired boy shouted as he ran up to you both, “I can’t wait to play, I’ve been practicing, are you going to be watching?”

“I’ll try and watch your games Hinata” You smile as the boy was a ball of energy going to pester Kenma as you see Lev start to make fun of him for his height. “Lev don’t be mean.”

You had scolded Lev a lot but in your heart you knew he would turn out to become an amazing player if he kept up all the work he was doing, “sorry y/n-chan.”

You shock your head laughing as Kuroo had started talking to Daichi and Sugawara, his hand still placed on your waist, “how was the trip?” You asked Sugawara, his gentle features inviting anyone to talk to him.

“It was really long, Couch Ukai doesn’t even let us take breaks.” Sugawara smiled out as everybody had started to move inside.

“That’s old couches for you, Couch Nekomata makes me carry the boy’s sweaty vests from games, the smell and feeling I get makes me want to puke.” Kuroo’s arm had left your waist not realising as you walked inside with Sugawara.

“That sounds gross, I would actually hate that so much, you’re going to have so much fun carrying more vests this week at least.”

“Ha ha very funny.” You laugh as Kuroo and Daichi had stopped talking to each other and Kuroo was trying to spot your y/h/c but to no avail he couldn’t find you. 

You and Sugawara had gone your separate ways as he had gone to get ready for the games, not noticing Kuroo had been looking for you, you went back to the gym, where the games were about to begin. “Y/nnnn” You heard the tall grey-haired boy speak.

“Yes Lev.” You said turning around to meet him.

“Yaku hit me in my back.” He said sadly.

You rolled your eyes at him, “did you make fun of his height again?”

Lev stayed silent as he dragged him along to Yaku, “apologise Lev.”

He listens not wanting to be scolded by you, Kuroo had walked in watching as you made the two of them talk again, not wanting anything to ruin the training camp, you went over to tell Kiyoko and Yachi what would happen and where everything was before going up to Bokuto.

“You’ll do good today.” You smile as you knew Akaashi didn’t want to see sad Bokuto at all.

“So, when do I get my praise Kitten.” Kuroo whispered in your ear as you stood to the side.

You rolled your eyes turning to face him, “did I forgot to give my big strong baby some encouragement.”

You teased him as he brought you closer to his body, “yeah you did kitten, you owe me one now.”

“Kuroo get off of Y/n” Couch Nekomata shouted as the games were about to start. You laugh watching as he huffed letting you go.

“You’ll do amazing Tetsu.” You cheered as he went to start the game.

You had had enough time to have many breaks and when you did you were running around passing towels and water bottles to the team rather talus worrying about giving Kuroo attention. You knew he missed it and after the games were done you would give him as much as you could. You had just finished giving the bottles out as you saw Yachi holding a box of water bottles that looked like they were about to fall, you quickly ran towards her catching them just as her hands were about to slip.

“Y/n are you okay?” Yachi said scared at what had occurred, Kuroo had rushed over to see if anything was wrong, even though you were fine.

“I’m fine Tetsu.” You laugh as he looked at your fingers, Yachi taking the box back, he saw the red colouring of your hands,

“Let me kiss it better at least.” You laughed as you let him do what he wanted too, kissing each finger tip before leaving a trail on the reddening mark.

“You’re such a simp Kuroo.”

“Your simp at least.” He laughed as the games began again.

Small intimate moments would always hold a place in your heart, you loved Kuroo’s soft side and even then his normal funny humorous side still made your heart beat as well. He was the love of your life and he proved to you that he was always there for you.

The games had finally finished as every team moved on to do some training or other things, Kuroo making you come with him, Akaashi and Bokuto, well that’s what he wanted to happen.

“Y/n can I ask you something before you go?” You nod at Daichi as you let go of Kuroo’s hands.

“Ill meet you there.” You pecked his cheek before walking in Daichi’s direction, Kuroo’s cat eyes observed what would play out.

Daichi hadn’t really asked for a lot, he wanted to know if you could get a copy of how many games each team had won and lost at the end of the week, “I’d ask Kiyoko but she’s already keeping a watch on points scored and teaching Yachi the ropes.”

“Daichi don’t worry about it, I have to make one for Nekoma anyway and I was going to offer it to all the teams, so I’ll gladly give you it at the end of the day.” You smile as you laugh at how Daichi had needed to ask to gain such a trivial thing.

“Oh also, thank you for saving Yachi and our water bottles.” He smiles out.

You pat his shoulder laughing again, “don’t worry about it, couldn’t get your new manager hurt now could I.”

He laughs a yeah as you both go your separate ways, as you walk out of the first gym towards were Kuroo and the rest of them would be, you felt someone grab your wrist as they pulled you to hit the wall outside the gym.

“Kitten it seemed you and our rival were getting close.” Kuroo whispered in your ear, you could recognise his voice anywhere, one hand on the wall as the other came up to touch your face, slowly caressing it.

“He just wanted to thank me for saving Yachi.” Your breath becoming heavier, you hated to admit it but you loved this side of Kuroo, it made you feel alive and needed as if Kuroo loved every fibre of you enough to care about as much as he did.

Kuroo moved his head closer not wasting to reply, his lips fell onto yours, having to bend down to reach your height, your hands grabbed his collar, as ur hand rested on his collar and the other in his dishevelled hair. He smirked knowing how needy you were for him, how much you wanted his body pressed against you, his body pushing you onto the wall. His hand moved from your face to your waist making sure to bring your body closer to him.

The kiss deepened as his tongue moved inside of your own, you wanted to feel more of him but knew you had to wait till the week was over, you knew he’d try to ask throughout for quickies anywhere that had a lock but you wanted to be able to moan his name out loud and clear without having to be quiet.

A soft moan escaped your lips as his rough hand held onto your waist tighter to bring you even closer to his body, his touch sending electric shocks through your body at how hungry and satisfying the kiss was.

“Oi Kuroo you better not be groping Y/n, we have to practice.” Bokuto was shouting as he started to walk outside.

Kuroo finally let go, as the saliva and spit broke free from each other’s mouths, he smirked wiping his mouth before bringing his thumb and wiping your own, “you’re so needy kitten, do you want more?”

You pout knowing he was teasing you as you nod your head, “now remember,” he paused as he admired your dishevelled look, “you’re all mine, kitten.”

You nodded as you did want more but saw the tips of owl boy come closer and closer, “we’ll finish this later.” Is all Kuroo said as he took your hand dragging it towards the confused Bokuto.

You knew that you weren’t going to last the week without Kuroo on you or more specifically in you, but you’d be patient or even yet maybe you would let him have a quickie in a classroom somewhere.

If you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and I’ll add you xx

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#haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu kuroo #haikyu kuroo #haikyu headcanons #tetsuro kuroo x reader #tetsuro kuroo x y/n #tetsuro kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro x y/n #kuroo x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo tetsuro headcanons #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo imagine #kuroo tetsurō #haikyuu scenarios #bakugohoex #fluff #kuroo tetsuro fluff #imagines #hakyuu imagines #scenario

[kawaiikichi]

A Drunken Promise (Kuroken Week Day 4)

Fourth post for Kuroken Week 2018! The prompts for today are Wrong Number or Actors/Voice Actors AU. I chose Wrong Number. I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret this besides prank calling during sleepovers, so I decided to do something along those lines and have Kuroo call Kenma, who Oikawa (yes, he makes an appearance) said he shouldn’t try and contact.

Title: A Drunken Promise

Prompt(s): Wrong Number or Actors/Voice Actors AU

Summary: Kuroo is at Oikawa’s place for a guy’s night out and is told to prank call a random person on Oikawa’s phone. He ends up dialing said number and winds up talking with a relatively annoyed (and confused) Kenma.

One-Shot Notes: Kenma and Kuroo are strangers in this one-shot; Kenma and Hinata are roommates; Kenma and Oikawa know each other

One-shot is under the cut!

Kuroo was giggling helplessly in between sips of his beer as Bokuto finished shouting out the lyrics to I’ll Make a Man Out of You.

“Bro, you sound weird.” he commented.

“Not as weird as you! You keep giggling n’ shit.” Bokuto pointed out.

Kuroo giggled again as he downed his tenth can of beer.

“See?! Stop fricking giggling!” Bokuto complained.

“Let him! It’s rare that we get to unwind like this.” Daichi said as he finished off his third can of beer.

“I get thaaaaaaaaaaaat!” Bokuto drawled out as Oikawa emerged from the kitchen.

“I literally can’t believe I’m the only one who isn’t as shit-faced as the rest of you.” he commented, placing more beer cans on the coffee table.

“That’s cuz you’re a wimp!” Kuroo chirped.

“I am not a wimp!” Oikawa complained.

“No, it’s because his alcohol tolerance is abnormally high. He could down forty of these and not be wasted.” Daichi stated.

“That’s a little bit of an exaggeration.” Oikawa reached for a can and cracked it open. “And also, I can only drink up to ten of these before getting wasted!” he declared before downing the beer.

“Sure, sure.” Kuroo hiccuped as he reached for another can.

Bokuto dipped on his beer as he rocked back and forth.

“Yo, we should make some prank calls.” he suggested.

“Yes! Let’s do it!” Kuroo shouted as he pumped his fist into the air.

“I’m down with that.” Daichi said.

He looked over at Oikawa.

“Well? What about you?” he asked.

Oikawa shrugged.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt. But, if someone reports us, you all are on your own.” he stated.

“Cool! Then, Kuroo should go first!” Bokuto said.

“Alright, if you say so.” Kuroo replied.

“Have at it. I need to head to the restroom.” Oikawa said as he stood up and he began to make his way to the bathroom.

“Don’t die!” Daichi called out.

Oikawa blew a raspberry before disappearing into the bathroom.

“Now then...” Bokuto reached for Oikawa’s phone, which was sitting atop the couch arm, and he unlocked it. “Call a random number in his contacts.” he said, throwing the phone in Kuroo’s direction.

Kuroo tried to grab it, but it slipped through his fingers and onto his lap. He hiccuped as he picked up the phone and began scrolling through Oikawa’s contacts.

“Hm...I’m gonna do this one.” he said as he tapped on a name.

“Ooooh, that one? Alright.” Bokuto replied.

Kuroo tapped on the call button and he brought the phone to his ear, listening to it ring. At that moment, Oikawa stepped out of the bathroom.

“Alright, I’m ba—What the hell is he doing with my phone?!” Oikawa screeched as he stormed over to the couch.

“He’s prank calling someone using your phone, why?” Daichi replied.

“And you didn’t stop him because?!” Oikawa asked.

“Why can’t he? It’s just your phone. It’s not like you’ll die if he calls someone using your phone.” Daichi stated.

“Ugh, you’re hopeless!” he looked at Bokuto. “Did you at least see who he’s calling?” he asked.

“Uh...I think it’s someone named Kenma...?” Bokuto answered uncertainly.

“Are you kidding me?! I would be okay if it was Iwa-chan, but why Pudding-chan?!” Oikawa exclaimed.

“Why? What’s wrong with Kuroo phoning this Kenma person?” Bokuto asked.

“Kenma hates it when people call him, especially when he’s in the middle of homework!” Oikawa pointed out.

He marched over to snatch the phone from Kuroo.

And then, the call connected.

❤️🖤❤️🖤

Kenma tapped the tip of his mechanical pencil against the math worksheet before him as his room door swung open.

“Kenma! Are you done with homework?” a chirpy voice called out.

Kenma sighed.

“First of all, knock before you enter, Shouyou. And no, I’m not even close.” Kenma replied.

Shouyou made his way over to Kenma and peeked at the worksheet from over Kenma’s shoulder.

“Ew, that looks super complicated.” he commented.

“I know. It’s also hard to understand.” Kenma said.

“Should I call Tobio over? He could help you with it.” Shouyou offered.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll probably be able to understand it if I flip through the textbook a little.” Kenma said.

“Alright, If you say so.” Shouyou turned around and he headed towards the door. “Well, make sure you come out for dinner soon! I ordered takeout.” he said.

“Alright.” Kenma replied as Shouyou disappeared into the hall, closing the door behind him.

Kenma sighed, placing his mechanical pencil down and reaching for his backpack. Before he could unzip it, he heard his phone vibrating against the table.

“Huh...?” he murmured softly as he sat back up and grabbed for his phone.

He frowned upon seeing Oikawa’s name flashing across the screen.

“Why is he calling me? I thought I told him not to do that.” he stated.

Unless he’s shit-faced, he thought to himself.

He sighed deeply before answering it and bringing the phone to his ear.

“Yes?” he answered.

He was met with the sound of Oikawa shouting something along the lines of, “Give that back!” as a voice he didn’t recognize reached his ears.

“Hi~!” the person on the other end hiccuped before bursting into giggles.

Kenma arched a brow at this.

What the literal hell, he asked himself.

“Um...you’re definitely not Oikawa.” he stated.

“Nope! I sure ain’t that whiny loser!”

“So, who exactly are you?”

“My name? It’s—hic!—Kuroo! Ya know, it’s like Kuro, but with an extra ‘o’ at the end.”

“Uh...alright then...”

“Sooooooo...how’s your evening goin’ so far?”

“It was going well until you called me. I was doing my homework.”

“Homework?! That shit’s booooooooring!”

Kenma’s eyebrow twitched.

Okay, this Kuro guy is totally shit-faced. Why the hell did Oikawa let him use his phone, he asked himself.

“Look, uh...Kuro, right?” he spoke.

“It’s not Kuro! It’s Kuroo!”

Kenma narrowed his eyes at that statement.

They sound the same to me, he told himself.

“Okay, yeah, whatever. Kuro, can you give the phone to Oikawa? I need to talk to him.” he said.

“No! Absolutely not!”

“...And why not?”

“Because yer supposed to be talkin’ with me, not him!”

“Look, I need to talk to him, so if you could please—“

“Nuh-uh!”

“Kuro, give the phone to—“

“Nada!”

“Give him the—“

“Don’t wanna~!”

“Look, I really need to talk to—“

“Aaaaaagh, it’s Oikawa this, Oikawa that! The hell is so great about him, anyway?! He’s a spoiled brat who’s too arrogant for his own damn good! The only good thing about him is that he has a nice ass!”

Kenma blinked his eyes in surprise.

Just what the hell did he get himself dragged into?

“Uh...what?” he questioned.

He reached to put a stick of gum into his mouth, chewing slowly as Kuroo spoke.

“Actually, what even is your relationship with him?! Are you his boyfriend or suthin’?”

Kenma nearly choked on his gum in shock.

Boyfriend?! his mind screamed in shock.

“H-Huh?! No! Oikawa and I don’t have a relationship like that!” he exclaimed.

“Whaaaaaaaaat? But it totally seems that way, seeing how you keep askin’ for ‘im...”

“No, we are not dating. We just go to the same college, that’s all. I help him with volleyball practice sometimes. That’s literally all.”

“Ah...well, that’s good. I was gunna be upset if that wasn’t the case.”

“And why exactly would you be upset?”

“Well...I mean...someone like you doesn’t deserve to be with someone like him...”

“...Could you please elaborate? I’m not sure I quite follow...”

Kenma couldn’t believe he was actually doing this. Why was he so curious to hear what this stranger thought?

He listened to Kuroo hiccuping a little before speaking.

“...I think you’re cute.”

Kenma’s cheeks flushed red at Kuroo’s statement. His heart began racing rapidly as he tried to regain his composure.

“Th...That’s very out of the blue, where did that come from?” he asked.

“My thoughts, duuuuuuh! What’s wrong with me thinking you’re cute? Has no one ever told you that before?”

“I have literally never met you. How could you possibly know what I look like and be able to determine if I’m...” Kenma brought his bottom lip in between his teeth. “...cute or not...” he mumbled.

“I dun’ have to meet you to know that. I just...have this feeling you are. Like...I imagine you’re this really cute person who radiates positive energy everywhere you go...”

Kenma snorted.

“Yeah, right.” he stated.

“But it’s true! You can’t change my mind! I think you’re really, really, reeeeeeeeeeeeally cute!”

“I...I’m not cute!” Kenma complained, his cheeks reddening more.

“Yes, you are!”

“I am not!”

“Are too!”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Are not!”

“Are too!”

“Are not!”

“Stop denying it and embrace your cuteness!”

Kenma heard Kuroo sigh on the other end.

“You know...I wish I were by you right now.”

“Why is that?”

“So that I could kiss you.”

Kenma sputtered in shock, the phone nearly slipping out of his hands. He tried to form coherent sentences, but it was proving hard to do so when Kuroo’s words kept replaying in his head.

This drunk idiot actually said he wants to kiss me. He wants to kiss me! This is weird! So weird! he thought to himself.

“Wh-Why the heck do you want to kiss me all of a sudden?!” he exclaimed.

He must’ve shouted loudly, for there was a knock at his bedroom door.

“Hey, is everything okay in there?” he heard Shouyou call out to him.

“Huh? Uh...yeah! Yeah, everything’s okay!” Kenma responded.

He looked over at the door, silently praying that Shouyou wouldn’t open it and walk in.

“Why are you asking?” he asked.

“It’s just that I heard loud shouting coming from your room, so...” Shouyou trailed off.

“You don’t have to worry. I’m fine.” Kenma replied.

“If you say so...” Shouyou murmured.

He listened to Shouyou walk away from his room door and sighed in relief.

Oh thank goodness. If he came in and saw me on the phone, he’d never let me hear the end of it, he thought to himself.

“Cuz I wanna!” Kuroo’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. “Also, who da heck were you talkin’ to?”

“Ah...that was my roommate...” Kenma trailed off.

“Roommate, huh...lucky them. I wish I were your roommate...” Kenma listened as Kuroo breathed out a sigh. “If I were your roommate...I’d call you cute and buy you presents and cuddle with you and kiss you every chance I got...”

Kenma swore his face was as red as a rose at this point.

“W-Well, you’re not, so too bad...” he trailed off.

“Now I’m envious of your roommate. I wanna be by your side all day and night...”

“You obviously don’t. You’re drunk, after all.”

“What if I’m serious?”

“Huh?”

“What if I’m being serious with you? What if I actually want to be by your side and do all those things with you?”

Kenma bit his bottom lip as he mulled over Kuroo’s words.

Maybe Kuroo was being serious, maybe he wasn’t. Kenma found himself wishing that he was being serious. Yes, Kuroo was a stranger to him, but for some reason, his words made his heart flutter.

Kenma reached up and smacked himself.

Kenma, don’t be an idiot. First off, he’s drunk off his ass. There is no way he’s telling the truth. Also, why the hell is your heart going aflutter?! What are you, a goddamn schoolgirl?! he asked himself.

He smacked himself a second time in order to regain his composure before clearing his throat to speak.

“Kuro, you are drunk. How can I possibly believe anything you say?” he asked.

“You have to.”

“But, I can’t just do tha—“

“You have to believe it. Because it’s the truth.”

“I can’t just—“

“Marry me.”

Kenma blinked his eyes twice in surprise, wondering if he heard him right.

He didn’t just say what I think he said, did he, he asked himself.

“...Come again?” he asked.

“I said marry me.”

He did! his mind screamed.

The blush began spreading to his ears as he found it in him to speak.

“A...Are you crazy?! How could you suggest such a thing?! We’re strangers, for crying out loud! We can’t just up and get—“

“Yeah, we can!”

“No, we can’t! Also, you don’t even know me—“

“Yeah, I do! I mean, we’ve been talking, haven’t we? I feel like I know enough about you...Kenma...”

Kenma’s heart skipped a beat at the way Kuroo said his name.

“I...”

“Marry me, Kenmaaaaaaaaa!”

“I’m sorry, I really can’t! I don’t know you well enough to—“

“If that’s what you’re worried about, then I can tell you everything about me! So, my name is Kuroo Tetsurou, my birthday is on November 17th, and I—“

“Not like that! We need to actually meet each other and get to know each other! We have to see if we’re compatible with one another before deciding if we should get married or not! You at least understand that much, don’t you?”

“...So, if I do these things, then I can marry you?”

Kenma let out an exasperated sigh.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes. You can marry me if you do those things.” he said.

There was a long pause on the other end. Kenma began wondering if Kuroo either passed out or was trying to come up with an answer. Then, he heard him speak.

“Okay! Then, I’ll try my very best to win you over so that I can marry you!”

That was when he heard Oikawa shouting at Kuroo to get off the phone and another voice (it sounded an awful lot like Daichi) saying that he could continue the conversation another time.

“Wait! Don’t take the phone from me just yet! I have something I need to tell Kenma!”

“Goodness gracious, Kuroo, that’s enough! Stop hitting on Pudding-chan before I hit you!” Oikawa shouted.

“Shut it, Mister Perfect Ass!” Kuroo shouted back.

Kenma heard Oikawa let out a dramatic gasp as Kuroo’s voice reached Kenma’s ears once more.

“Seems like I gotta go. Buuuuuuut, before I do, I need to tell you something.”

“Okay...what is it?”

“...I love you.”

Kenma sucked in a gasp, his cheeks growing even warmer as his heart raced faster. He tried to formulate a response, but before he could, Kuroo hung up.

He slowly removed the phone from his ear, looking to see that he spent almost fifty minutes on the phone with him.

“What the heck...? That’s the longest I’ve ever been on the phone with someone...” he trailed off.

He then looked at the time and saw that it was nine twenty.

“I should go and eat...” he muttered under his breath.

He sat up from his seat by his desk, pocketing his phone in his sweat pants pocket and making his way over to the door. He opened it to come face to face with Shouyou, who had a goofy grin on his face.

“Soooooooo...it seems like someone’s been busy with wedding planning.” he commented.

“Wha...?! You heard me?!” Kenma exclaimed in shock.

“Yeah! Kenma, I am shocked and also very disappointed! I figured you would be the least likely to be thinking about marriage, but here we are!” Shouyou pouted, crossing his arms over his chest. “You could’ve at least involved me in the planning process...” he mumbled.

“I am not getting married to anyone. Actually, how long were you standing out here?” Kenma asked.

“Uh...from when you were telling that person that you two were strangers and that you can’t just up and get married to a stranger?” Shouyou answered uncertainly.

Kenma let out a loud groan.

“Pretend you heard nothing.” he said before storming past him and heading down the hall.

“I can’t just do that!” he chased after Kenma. “Come on! At least tell me what your future husband is like!” he called out.

“I told you, I am not getting married!” Kenma shouted back as he entered the kitchen.

As he began dishing food out into a plate, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts drift back to Kuroo.

“...I love you.” Kuroo’s words danced around in his mind.

His cheeks flushed red as he thought back on the conversation and how Kuroo promised he would try and win him over.

“Okay! Then, I’ll try my very best to win you over so that I can marry you!”

A soft smile touched Kenma’s lips.

He couldn’t help but look forward to what might happen next.

#kurokenweek #kuroken #haikyuu!! #kuroo tetsurou #kenma kozume #other characters make appearances/are mentioned #hinata shouyou #kageyama tobio (mentioned) #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime (mentioned) #daichi sawamura #koutarou bokuto #day 4 #wrong number or actors/voice actors au #i chose wrong number #it's a very loose interpretation #kuroo is drunk off his ass #kenma is confused af