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nonbinarykai · 3 years

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Ok since two people asked

Why Lloyd is my least favorite ninja and how I rewrite him

Notes:// you know the rodeo by now, long post so it’s going to be under a read more, and I’m not gonna tag this with Lloyd because of the criticisms I have against his character, if you don’t want to hear Lloyd be critiqued then don’t reas the post

Why I don’t like Lloyd

Maybe it’s because I’m a Kai kinnie or maybe it’s because I have a bias agaisnt the younger sibling but Lloyd has never really been a favorite of mine

He was enjoyable in s1 but after that he kinda lost all personality for me and I stopped enjoying him

I think this is mostly for two reasons:

1. His screen time

2. His “character arcs”

I’ll go ahead and knock out his screentime here because it pretty much speaks for himself

Lloyd takes up so much screentime in the show that it’s actually jarring, he’s the character with the most seasons, having s1-2, s4, s8-11, and finally s14 ((the island special)). Which I think makes lloyds writing flaws all the more noticable

A big reason, albeit a bit of a petty one, for why I don’t like him is because he constant hyjacks other characters plots and makes them about him, this happened with Kai in both s4 and s11

Even if he’s not the main focus of a season, he always has a side plot focusing on him like in s3 and s12

The writers need to include Lloyd in other seasons is making it harder for the other main characters to actually have enough screentime to grow and develop on there own

And as a side effect of this, Lloyd gets to become the most important character in every season he is, taking roles from other characters who needed them

My best example is Cole being leader, he was set up and established as leader in the pilots and s1, and he did pretty good in it! Cole being a leader is a interesting concept that I would have loved to see been developed

But after Lloyd grew up they threw that plot point into the trash so they could have the mystical green ninja be leader even though throughout s1-7 he hardly actually talks to the main cast and him being leader doesn’t add any interesting dynamic like cole and kais rivalry despite Kai being a sort of right hand man to Coles leadership.

And in s1-s7 especially everything literally revolves around Lloyd to the point where his existence is more important than everyone else’s, and everyone’s motivations are to protect him.

Again I understand he is important, he’s the green ninja, but you have to let your other characters grow and develop, Lloyd is not the only main character in your show

Like for fuck sakes I don’t need 3 arcs about Lloyd and his dad, can I finally have another Kai season

Lloyds character arcs honestly kinda suck

Im going to be honest with you

Lloyds kinda an ass

The reason I like jay more then Lloyd even though jay has been way more mean spirited then Lloyd throughout the entire series is because you can atleast make the argument that jay doesn’t know when his jokes can hurt. And the show doesn’t portray jay as in the right, he gets what he deserves for some of the meanier things he says.

The same can’t be said about Lloyd

Lloyd says things to the other ninja that is honestly so mean spirited it’s jarring to hear it from him

Best example being when Lloyd told Kai to get over his shit when Kai was grieving in s4

But what makes it so frustrating is that the show always portrays Lloyd like he’s in the right which is why a lot of his character arcs feel flat or uninteresting

The only time this doesn’t apply is in s2 and in s3, in s2 the show paints Lloyd as being unfair to Misako when he RIGHTFULLY gets mad at her for abandoning him, I’ll get back to this later

The second time in s3 is when he’s traveling with Garmadon and having to be taught to balance his powers, which is actually one part of s3 I really liked, it was nice to see these two bond and have Garmadon teach Lloyd something that wu would other wise not teach him. And it’s a real shame the season cut it short AGAIN

The biggest example of the show making Lloyd seem in the right no matter what is in s4, Lloyds whole arc there was to learn how to view things from a different perspective and appreciate the things others have done for him. And this is would work if the show decided to do the same.

Again back to that scene with Lloyd and Kai in s4, the show treats Lloyd as if he’s in the right and it’s never addressed after this. Even though this is supposed to be the beginning of lloyds arc where he’s supposed to learn to view things from a different perspective

This scene would have worked if

1. The show didn’t paint him in the right for this, either by having Lloyd apologize or having the show acknowledged how it might have hurt Kai

2. If the plot Lloyd has remained a side plot instead of taking up the entire focus

Seriously, s4 could have been the ONE season where you can have a Lloyd side plot thats not forced and yet they fucked it up and made it the entire focus of the season thanks a lot.

To quote what I said in my Nya anayalsis awhile back

“I’m not upset that he has a flaw, just that it’s not recognized as one”

Lloyd would work way better as a character if the show just let him have consequences for his actions

Ever since he grew up and got the green ninja role he’s been treated like he can’t do no wrong which is clearly not true

But since we’re already on this topic

Hurting Lloyd doesn’t make him a good character

I feel like Tommy ((and sometimes the fandom)) really misunderstand what the use of suffering for in a story

There atleast 3 reasons writers make there characters suffer

1. To undergo a arc and realize where they have been wrong or to give a character a lot more depth to expand upon

2. If the story is a fallen hero one and the character suffers because of his Huberius

3. If the story is a tragedy

Ninjago is neither a fallen hero story or a tragedy and his pain doesn’t develop him as a character

A lot of writers don’t understand that suffering isn’t what makes a character good, it’s what pushes them to become good, you can’t just throw a character at the wall and expect them to instantly be a well written fleshed out character

A lot of the suffering Lloyd has to endure is mostly for no reason and it’s really mean spirited because it adds nothing to the plot, it’s just there to hurt him

Let’s bring up s11 as an example, Lloyd didn’t HAVE to fight the ice emperor from a writing standpoint, if anything it should have been kais battle because his lose of power and Zane going evil would have been a perfect reflection of s4 and tie it up after it ended kais character a bit open ended

But no let’s have Lloyd do it instead because haha isn’t trauma COOL and HIP

Now to be clear, I’m not saying that all of your stories have to end on a happy ending or anything like that, if your a writer then your allowed to do whatever you want with your personal writing

What I am saying is that ninjago is an actual SHOW made by PROFESSIONAL writers and they can’t understand the concept of a story structure

And the lack of actually addressing his trauma is really bringing down Lloyd as a character

Because it comes to a point where you understand why Lloyd is sometimes mean or distrustful of other people and it’s frustrating because you know that it’s flaws of him that are never going to be fixed because there writers want there trauma baby

How I would rewrite him

I’ve seen a lot of people suggest Lloyd become a villain in a future season and you know what, I sort of agree

But not in the way you think

I feel like it would be way more compelling if Lloyd was a villain but is still a ninja, instead of Lloyd switching sides, the show is switching perspectives

More or less I want Lloyd to be a reflection of the “true” villain, which is how wu ((and subsequently Lloyd)) put small Victories as more important then the ninjas life, passion, and desire, and how there black and white thinking of good and evil ends up to a lot of problems because there’s a lot of grey area there choosing to ignore

I want Lloyd to start of being loyal to wu’s philosophy and the protagonist, for random example let’s say Kai, sudden turn on these ideas in order to look outside the box to find if there truly is a better way to protect people without harming himself

I want Lloyd to be upset over what he thinks is a turn to the dark side when in reality, it would make his motivations make sense and not make his turn to “villainy” be out of character.

And over the course of the season he starts to realize how wus and subsequently his leadership has hurt the others and himself, and have him reflect on if all the pain they suffer through just to clean up wus mistakes is really worth it like wu says, or if there’s a better way like kai says

As for Lloyds actual character himself, I’d like for his flaws to be more noticeable

Have Lloyd be a gifted kid who gets praise when he doesn’t deserve it but still kinda acts like a brat because he’s still mentally like 10

Have him be a control freak who follows the rules way to strictly and is all serious when they have to do missions

Have his idealization of wu be realized and critiqued because honestly wu sucks ass

Would this make his character less like able? Maybe, but then he’d actually have depth and something to improve on

He can still have his s3 and s4 arcs, it’s just now they’re more important because he’s actually learning to be better

AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS IM PURPOSEFULLY MAKING LLOYD WORSE SO THAT KAI LOOKS BETTER

ILL HAVE YOU KNOW AWHILE BACK I MADE A POST SAYING THE EXACT SAME THING ABOUT KAI AND HIS FLAWS SO THERE (/hj /lh)

#ninjago #kai smith #ninjago kai #sorry this post is way less structured then my other ones

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gingersnapwolves · 2 years

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okay but now that I’ve seen Encanto it just begs for an Untamed mash-up, doesn’t it? brought to you by the conversation I had with my wife today

Me: Multi-generational stuff is hard with Untamed because all the adults suck. Although, it might work in this case if we had Lan Sizhui as Mirabel. Admittedly I do like the idea of WWX hiding in the walls lmao.

Wife: LSZ: "We have to get you out of here."

Me: Jiang Cheng as Pepa hahahaha

Wife: Yes! Lots of grumbling and lightning.

Me: And then Jiang Yanli would be Julieta Heals people with her cooking. Except now it doesn't make sense that Lan Sizhui is one of the kids. Also is Yu Ziyuan abuela? Yikes on bikes!

Wife: LQR?

Me: Admittedly, Lan Qiren would be a perfect abuela. But I've decided I like the idea of YZY as abuela. it gives the whole story a so much darker, nastier edge. Especially if we consider that WWX wasn't her child and she resented having to take care of him, doesn't understand why he got a gift like her two 'real' children, and then his gift turned out to be weird and ominous.

Wife: Oooooh, all those rumors that he's JFMs son. Maybe the miracle isn't about her at all. Maybe it's about him.

Me: That would make her SO MAD

Me, sidebar: I mean, okay, I get that it's a Disney movie. But can we talk about the fact that Bruno was so afraid of what abuela would do to Mirabel that he *lived in the walls for ten years*

Wife, sidebar: Yeah . . . though I also saw a compelling argument that Bruno was neurodivergent.

Me, sidebar: Which is fair. but it's also the same old narrative of "it doesn't matter if your parent/parental figure was abusive if a) they loved you, b) they had trauma of their own, c) they were doing what they thought was best for you". I just ..... really hate that narrative and would like to rewrite the story with an ending of "it doesn't matter that she was doing what she thought was best! fuck that bitch!"

Wife, sidebar: Fair enough!

Me: So is Wei Wuxian LSZ’s dad? Because that makes it a lot harder to believe that he would go live in the walls. .......also not sure who his mother would be in that theoretical arrangement. How weird would it be for him to be Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng's kid? I mean, he is a Wen. I've done weirder things.

Wife: Not that weird. But where on earth did his sweet personality come from!

Me: Self-preservation, LOL

Wife: So if Jiang Yanli is Julieta, who is Jin Ling?

Me: Torn between Isabela and Luisa. Leaning towards the former’s personality with the latter’s power. It doesn’t have to align perfectly, I don’t think. I can't figure out how LWJ would fit into all of this, though,

Wife: Hmmmm. I mean, I can easily see him falling in love with WWX when he still showed his face, but how does that help the story?

Me: Yeah. Like, if he was in love with WWX, they got married, et c .... then WWX disappeared and everyone was like "YZY finally got rid of him", how did he not murder YZY lol. I guess there's the option that LWJ went to look for WWX outside the encanto, thinking that he left altogether

Wife: Just shuffle him out of the story.

Me: But it feels so weird to separate LSZ from his parents like that! lol

Wife: Also if they are already married does LWJ really think WWX would leave without him? Also also do you think YZY would be pissed that WWX picked someone he couldn't have kids with? No new generation of miracles?

Me: You know, you might think that, but I think she'd rather not have his kids "tainting" things. His miracle was a mistake, let's not perpetuate it.

Wife: Fair. I can also sort of see JC and WQ having a bunch of kids and looking at their sleep being interrupted by another one on the way and looking at WWX and LWJ’s sad, sad baby-less faces and being like 'do you guys want this one?'

Me: Awwww, I love that idea!!!! Though again, makes it more difficult to believe that WWX would go hide in the walls. Maybe, though, if LWJ was there to take care of LSZ.

Wife: Yeah, I mean, WWX is messed up enough to believe he is doing everyone a favor.

Me: okay but can you imagine when LWJ finds out that WWX has just been *living in the walls of the house*

Wife: Oh jeeezus christ.

Me: LWJ: we could have just LIVED IN TOWN

Wife: Pfffffft

Me: Meanwhile we’ve got Jingyi as Dolores. He can be Chengqing’s kid too because whatever, canon is an illusion and if something contradicts canon, no it doesn’t. I’m the captain now. Lan Jingyi can be raised by JC/WQ, because then LSZ's lack of gift is *obviously* because they let WWX raise him and WWX has corrupted him. Which is another great reason why WWX would nope out. Maybe if he leaves the kid alone, his door will show up again.

Wife: Awww.

Me: Jingyi: if Wei-jiujiu wants to live in the walls, that's *his* business

Wife: Lan Wangji: we still could have just LIVED IN TOWN

Me: Jingyi absolutely hears everything and uses it to stir shit up lol

Wife: Absolutely.

Me: Anyway get wrecked Yu Ziyuan

#that was all we had time for but I enjoyed it very much #long post #just rambling #fic stuff #the untamed

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nostalgiaruinedme · 3 years

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I’m always genuinely confused when I see hate for any tmnt show bc like? Turtles? We love turtles, the entire fandom revolves around these teenaged dorks

And 2012 having ‘unhealthy’ familial relationships? Like cmon they love each other dearly and they know their dynamic better than we outsiders. Did I have a few issues with the 2012 show when I was watching it? Sure you can’t like every little thing in a show, even 2003 my intro to the turtle fandom had issues- they did not act like teenagers at all- and eventually the story got kind of wacky but hey I’ll always love that show.

Why must people glorify the new and put down the old? When 2012 was first airing everyone pretty unanimously loved/adored it, I know I did bc I liked seeing them really act like teenagers and a family. I think the only thing I really didn’t like was Donnie’s crush on April for pretty much the whole series. It was cute and funny at first but it got old imo

They coming at 2012 splinter for being a bad father bc he was more of a master than parent but like? So was 2003? 2003 called splinter master all the time. I love the different version of splinter they made in rise but he was definitely not a good dad at first- he was pretty absent!

I’m regards to story I personally think rise’s is much more of a compelling concept than 2012’s fight over a woman that eventually got her killed, but that doesn’t mean that 2012 sucks

Why can’t we just all love our turtles? I also personally would love to see more leatherhead but that’s me

🐀🐢🐢🐢🐢

I agree with all of this! Both families are great and neither are without flaws. There's a lot I'd like to criticize about 2012 too but tbh I'm kinda scared to, because I don't wanna make a post about it and have it hijacked by fans who hate 2012 and use it for that .-. Particularly how Splinter shoved so much on Leo's shoulders, the show's treatment of female characters, and yup, Donnie's beginning crush on April. I ship them (and Casey) but at first... Dee, buddy I love you and I know you've been living in isolation for 15 years but it was getting close to borderline harassment :/ they definitely could've handled the Apriltello a LOT better in the first couple seasons.

AND YEAH I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CALL 2012 MASTER SPLINTER A BAD FATHER- he’s more similar to previous versions of the character than Rise Splinter, but he’s not a bad father. They both had flaws and at least he wasn’t neglectful like Rise Splinter was in S1 (Rise Splinter had such a glow up regarding parenting by S2 I’m so thankful for, because he was kind of,,,, awful at first). But neither 2012 nor 2018 Splinters are abusive or bad fathers.

They’re both people who were thrown in horrifyingly difficult situations they never could have prepared themselves for. Are either perfect parents? No. But they both tried their best and truly do want what’s best for their sons and they love their family a lot. Most people would’ve broken down and walked away... but these men rebuilt their life from scrap and raised four sons in the process. Of course they’re gonna make a few mistakes here and there- who wouldnt?? Parents are human too (or, uh, rats in this case).

And both stories are very different and that’s great! Personally I like the 2012 one better (I think the fight over a woman is kinda just how it is on the surface, because Saki was also adopted from an enemy clan and had discovered his family origins at that time too. I personally think he was pissed off at everyone and all of that anger and hatred manifested into the Tang Shen argument... Kinda like just one last straw that set off an explosion) and because the Rise story feels like it was just all over the place. Though, I love the mystic elements and Hidden City so so so much and the Rise story is just so much fun.

All TMNTs are great in their own way. Each set of writers and animators and voice actors had their hand in the way the stories came out and they’re all so different, but that’s what makes it special! One thing I really really like is how each version of TMNT is so different from the last... but unlike a lot of other franchises, the differences feel natural and they’re not just thrown in to make sure something isn’t overdone, and they also don’t just remake the same movie and storyline with different actors every few years. They’re all TMNT but they’re all their own stories too.

Both are amazing!!

#Lol started rambling again oops #asks #tmnt #rottmnt #tmnt 2012 #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012

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monkey-network · 3 years

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Why Klaus IS Christmas Kino

Klaus isn’t flawless, let’s get this out the way. My love for this film won’t deny that it bears a couple nits that can distract the experience. Jesper and Alva’s relationship felt like an eye-rolling inevitability, notable cliches here & there, a notable song felt both fitting and out of place, and while enjoyable, I’m not as big a fan of the climax as I thought. But in spite of it all, I love this film and it is one of the best modern animated Christmas films, period? Follow me here. I could go on about its wonderful animation cuz yeah, it’s unlike any other film. But a philosophy of mine is that the best animation enhances the writing and I can say Klaus is that surprisingly well written and has become an all time Christmas fave

*deep breath in* So let’s do this...

I mention that Klaus has its cliches, but you gotta know that it’s smarter than expected. Believe me when I say if the writers didn’t care, this could’ve actually been so much worse. Jesper could’ve been more manipulative towards everyone for his goals, Klaus would’ve given up entirely after knowing the truth about Jesper, we could’ve had an argument between Jesper and his dad about upholding business, the townsfolk could’ve reverted back to their old ways, plenty writing moments where this could’ve been Emoji Movie levels of insulting to your intellect. BUT, they don’t. The film never really turns back on itself, it keeps moving where, as the notable quote goes, an act of good will sparks another as it starts with Jesper’s father.

Even if nepotism was responsible for Jesper getting the job in the first place, he clearly sees his son be more spoiled than he’s worth so is like, “Ma boi, I will send you to the ends of the earth or leave you to the streets if you don’t do something with yourself.” He never cared about his son representing the postal company, or ruining his top class image, he was only tired of Jesper taking advantage of his fortune while not having any ambition of his own. Can’t help but say Jesper’s dad is a very respectable character because the sole reason the whole plot happened in the first place was because he just wanted his son to do better. It’s that act of genuine consideration that pushes Jesper to his wake up call as he reaches Smeerensburg.

People have compared this movie to Emperor’s New Groove through Jesper’s character and I say yes, but this film takes that next step and put Jesper in the pit of pits way early. Reminds me more of Ratatouille’s beginning where Remy’s lowest point is around the same time as Jesper’s. The harsh atmosphere of the island is treated very blunt in how this is our mailman’s nightmare come true. With his situation, our guy is truly at his lowest. Gives up now, he’ll be cut off his inheritance and probably will have worse. Everyone hates him and each other, his post office itself is in shambles, symbolic of how communication is practically thin outside conflict, and the teacher turned fish seller Alva is that path Jesper could notably be if he didn’t try. Everything is literally grey for this guy, but like Ratatouille, when you’re at your lowest there’s no where else to go but up. That’s where Klaus comes in...

This is genuinely the most clever interpretation of Santa I know, hands down. A well established woodsman, a crafter both of living, for him and the birds that reside in his woods, and recreation with the toys he made himself not just for kids, but specifically the kids he and his wife wanted but couldn’t have. Klaus feels like a real person, not just another take on the mythical man. You’re with him and Jesper as he, after familiar winds provide him a letter, a small spark to do something good, soon opens up and gets reminded of what’s kept him going all these years. It is no wonder he sees his wife in Jesper, it’s thanks to him that he could refurbish his dashed dream into a new one. He didn’t just want to do it for the children of the island, but for himself. That is another thing about this film: communication. I mention before how it’s practically thin at first due to a long going feud that isn’t even aware of why it’s still going. The joy in hate is only for hatred’s sake, and they make it very clear how miserable it all feels. That is where Jesper comes in. They don’t take shortcuts with how he gets the ball rolling, both accidentally and purposefully, he boots up to get things done, pushes himself to go to Klaus to make things happen. This is all in part by the youth, what really ties the plot together...

As I mentioned before (again), life in Smeerensburg is noticeably miserable but thanks to Klaus, by extension Jesper, the kids are enticed to do what it takes to get some genuine joy in their lives through the toys they’re able to get. They’ll make them letters, and if they can’t write, they’ll go to Alva for teachings, and if they act naughty, they’ll try to do good which in turn pushes the adults to do good for the sake of their kids. It really would’ve been one thing to sure enough make the kids spoiled because of the toy giving, focusing more on the extrinsic value of Klaus’s kindness but no. The children are very grateful for these gifts enough to feel compelled to do good, and it makes them feel good as much as it soon makes the adults more convinced to stop fighting. It helps that this all takes place in older times cuz I believe this would’ve been far different, possibly worse, if this took place in modern times. That or just kinda rip off Arthur Christmas, it’s my guess. As such, it gradually becomes an amazing Christmas film because it isn’t just the presents, the Santa Claus myth, the festive style of it all that makes this holiday special to me. It’s the warmth... of togetherness.

My favorite detail about Klaus is how it transitions from cold to warm with its atmosphere. We start out with the emptiest, harshest environment, enough fog to choke your eyes, and then we get to this moment with a brighter, clearer sight of the more united town as the Christmas spirit builds in the film, even when it isn’t even that day yet in-universe, so too does the warmhearted feeling that can come from celebrating it appear more and more. This film fleshes out more of what the Grinch taught me, what A Charlie Brown Christmas taught me, what I’ve come to appreciate about Christmas as I grew up in this materialistic world. I can say everyday can have the Holiday spirit, but Christmas is the time where I feel compelled to be grateful of what I’ve made and got and give back when honestly, I don’t care about getting the most expensive stuff anymore like I used to when I was way younger. This film is so sincere in what it wants to say, and you know this is indeed the same guy that made Minions. Yeah, not kidding and I’ll let you sit with that if you’re reading this as I continue because we have to talk about that moment...

Yeah, I don’t like being the Nostalgia Critic, but I too don’t take kindly to the ‘liar reveal’ trope myself and this could’ve been a point where the film lost me a little. Though you know what? It still works. See, with that trope, what sucks is that it can tend to unravel the plot to where you know as soon as they break apart, they’ll get back together regardless of the deed done. This is why I don’t like A Bug’s Life, don’t @ me. But I’m not saying it can’t done right, like in Over the Hedge. The breakup between Jesper and the others is painful, but it is necessary to give us a couple great character moments. One is with Jesper and his dad, who came back personally to see that Jesper has indeed built something for himself. We get no dialogue between them but it’s clear that even when Jesper’s unintentionally successful thanks to Yzma and Bubba, he can tell his son wasn’t happy leaving everything behind, so he lets him stay since that was what he truly wanted this whole time. Again, give that man some credit for amazing dad. Another moment comes before the big reveal where not only do we see Jesper come to understand his own guilt surrounding his original intentions, but in the end they never hated him for coming back, especially due to him inadvertently stopping the enemy feud all together. Lastly, without that moment, we probably wouldn’t have got this smile. When Margu, purest character ever that I could make a whole segment about but I don’t wanna keep you too long, started to tear up after calling for Jesper thinking he left for good but she then sees our guy never really left and we get this teary smile:

I felt that. Almost more than anything else in this film.

Cliched as it can appear, the execution excels in those more memorable emotions for this film. It’s been a year since I watched this again and I remember so much about these characters. And my god, I haven’t even gotten to the animation which... my god.

Klaus is indeed the most beautiful upon beautiful films I’ve seen, and what makes it better is that it all enhances the story. I mention before of its transitional visual from cold to warm sights, but goddamn, the character designs, the environments, the expressiveness, the textures all amount to style perfect for this alone. I think it would’ve as well received if it had a more flat look, but they seriously went higher for a traditional appealing story that compliments the unique children’s storybook look of it all. This honestly is better than most of modern Disney films that I’ve seen, ironic since it feels like if you took Tangled the Series and made it 3D with more fluid character animation. And if I’m comparing something to the continuous mindblower that’s Tangled the Series, you’ve most certainly got on my best side.

Sergio Pablos and his team really pulled no punches in making this a great movie. A great Christmas movie, one worth seeing if not at least once but every Holiday season for tradition’s sake. Klaus gave me a good time, made me cry, and above all showed me to never stop having a good heart because doing good can indeed go far, thankless as it can be. Heck, my heart felt more rejuvenated than before in making this critique, that’s a testament to how much good this film means to me personally. What else is there to say?

It's The Best

#Klaus #Klaus movie #klaus netflix #Klaus 2019 #movies #art #animation #Christmas #holidays #xmas #analysis #long post #reviews #Good Stuff

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therianimal · 3 years

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My System’s Experiences: switching hosts and a disconnected past

It took years before we realized that the complete personality shifts we experienced at various points in our life was us switching between hosts. Before I was host (or even existed at all), there was Lucas; a few years before him, Eren. The earliest host we know of is 4 years old and was the host during our preschool years. It seems inconceivable that we wouldn’t know - but as a system that has no amnesia, experiences the world as “different people sharing a single consciousness”, experiences switching less like “stepping back” and more like changing perspectives, and exists in a place between median and multiple, these changes disguised themselves as life phases.

It made sense to us that being 16 would feel different than being 12, and we were aware that changing over time was a normal experience for children and teenagers. Sure, it seemed weird that as a child we were definitely a girl, during our early teen years we were likely nonbinary and during our late teen years we were a trans man - it was never really clear to us WHY we changed so much.

That is, until I realized that we were plural, and that we have always been different people who simply passed the mantle of Host along like some kind of hereditary monarchy. It seems somewhat obvious now - the fact that I used to say things like “back when I was Lucas”, that I didn’t have childhood memories of being a therian, and that each “life phase” involved a completely different personality, set of interests, and sense of self were all signs. Even my dad is prone to saying things like “You’re a completely different person now than you were when you were 16″ (I really get a kick out of the double meaning). But it wasn’t until I started to consider that I (we!) might be plural that the truth about our past hosts came out into the open.

Our obliviousness can be accounted for by another issue: the specifics of how we switched hosts. I like to compare the scenario to mitosis - one member gradually becoming two. It would take months before the two people were distinct, at which time the new member would usurp as the new host and the previous one would go into dormancy. Because it’s so gradual we can't pinpoint an exact moment when each switch happened, and it's sometimes hard to clarify whether a past event happened to one member or another.

I’ve started to refer to the mid-mitosis host as “proto”, thqe in between of Lucas and me being “proto-Blue”. Lucas was a trans man and emo, and I’m a mascfem nonbinary person who isn’t particularly alt - our mid-self was still trans but more gender nonconforming and no longer 100% male, and they still listened to emo and rock music but had moved away from the clothing style. This "self" doesn't exist in our system as an actual person - it was simply an in-between stage. This host change (and all the others as far as we can tell) was fluid and not at all a sudden switch.

When Lucas returned from dormancy, it was chaos. He had been functionally asleep for three years - in the meantime, I had broken up on bad terms with his best friend/girlfriend, socially detransitioned (he had worked hard to come out as a trans man), and thrown away most of his old clothing and possessions. Trump had even become president, which was honestly one of the most overwhelming things. And he suddenly had to confront the fact that we were plural, that he had not always been host, and most of all that he had lost several years of (what he thought was) his life. I had to confront similar issues, but for me it was gradual while for him it was all at once.

Since then, several of our past hosts have reawakened - but not all. There are large unaccounted for periods of time, presumably involving still-dormant system members. It’s difficult to talk about our/”my” past, because when referring to things that occurred between the ages of 15 and 17 I can usually say “Lucas did X”, but how do I refer to the incidences that happened to unknown hosts? On top of that, due to years of assuming we were one person and each of us claiming past events as “my past”, it’s not that easy to say that X event belongs to one person and Y belongs to another. Things that happened to Eren while she was host often feel just as relevant to me, personally, as things that happened while I was host.

This all creates a confusing communication barrier, and risks creating conflicts between members - for example if I say “I got a perfect score on the reading portion of the SAT when I was 12!” would that be unfairly taking credit for Eren’s accomplishments, or simply describing an element of our shared narrative that feels relevant to me? There has been at least one conflict with another member where I was accused of selectively taking credit for their good deeds and accomplishments while disowning failures and negative actions - I believe that was a misunderstanding, but clearly it’s complicated.

I, as an individual, have only existed for four years. It sounds strange to say that as a 22 year old, but it’s true. This sometimes makes it alienating to spend time in identity-based communities like the therian, otherkin, transgender, and other LGBTQ communities. I once attempted to join a trans Amino, only to find that I was required to explain my “trans self discovery story” in an introduction post - it wasn’t even optional! How do I explain “In our teenage years, Eren felt disconnected from gender but couldn’t put it into words. Then we learned about trans people, and Lucas discovered over the course of a few months that he was a trans man. I knew I was nonbinary from day one (four years ago), though figuring out the details has taken a few years.” To someone who knows nothing about plurality, it’s incomprehensible.

Of course I could have made something up or oversimplified things, but at the time I was on Amino to discover my truth, not hide my truth. Due to the “born this way” narrative, saying something like “I identified as a trans man in my teen years, but later on identified as nonbinary” would imply that our experiences as a trans man were fake or the result of a confused misnomer, when they were very real. Directly undermining our experiences and our reality for the sake of community really sucks; I quickly left that Amino.

I’ve had similar issues in the therian community. I first realized I was a therian/nonhuman before realizing I was a member of a plural system, which caused all sorts of confusion for me. I joined the Therian Guide forums and learned from their posts and resources that “If you didn’t have therianthropy related experiences as a child, that means you’re just a confused human who’s been influenced by the internet and is having a wishkin phase." I wanted to believe that wasn’t the case, but the argument made sense and I had no counterargument to make against it and no way to explain why that rule wouldn’t apply to me.

Even now it sometimes feels alienating to encounter online threads and posts centered around the question “What signs did you experience as a child?”. I know that other people’s experience don’t invalidate mine, and vice versa, but it still sometimes makes me feel out of place. Rationally I understand that nonhuman experiences are highly varied and that's okay! - but insecurity isn't rational. I’m still acclimating to the idea that as a pluran my nonhuman experiences will probably never be the same as a “stereotypical” otherkin or therian (if such a thing exists).

I went into this essay expecting to write a short post about how my lack of childhood/teen years has sometimes caused me to feel alienated in the therian community. But as I was writing I realized I had a lot to say about my system, and felt compelled to change angles and truly discuss our host history. It might be a bit random, but I hope that at least some people will find it interesting.

#plurality #SYSMEDS AND ANTI ENDO DNI #alterhuman #alterhumanity #therian #otherkind #blue speaks

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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What I Thought About The Mitchells vs. the Machines

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier is up there as one of the best installments of the MCU. Sure, the action and CGI sucks, and the season finale could use a bit more polish, but there is so much more of what it does right. It brings up an engaging discussion through Karli; the bromance between Bucky and Sam is incredible; Zemo's surprisingly a riot, and U.S. Agent is a character whose inner psychology is something I would like to study. Plus, the series really dives deep into the themes of race and the realistic hesitance that comes with making a black man Captain America. It's easily an 8/10 series that is worth an in-depth discussion.

But f**k that s**t, because I'm talking about The Mitchells vs. the Machines instead!

I know it might be questionable that reviewing a movie starring a predominantly white family of idiots saving the world instead of the TV series about the powerful journey of a black man taking the mantle of an American icon...but this movie is fun, alright? And yes, I'm going to spoil it to explain how. So if you still have a Netflix account, I highly suggest you check it out when you have time.

Because, random people on the internet who most likely won't read this, this Ordinary Schmuck who writes stories and reviews and draws comics and cartoons is going to explain why The Mitchells vs. the Machines might just be my favorite film of the year (steep contest, I know).

WHAT I LIKE

The Animation: Let's get this out of the way right here and right now: If a single person ever tells you that this movie has awful animation, or the worst animation they have ever seen, just go ahead and assume that person is an idiot. Because holy hot cheese sticks, does this movie look amazing!

Say what you want about most of Sony Pictures Animation's movies, but you have to admit that they nail making a CGI movie looking like it could be in 2D. And The Mitchells vs. The Machines is the peak of that style. Every character in nearly every frame looks like they could work well if the movie was hand-drawn, and I love it. I am addicted to seeing films that look 2D with a 3D makeover because there has to be ten times the amount of effort to get that look just right, what with modeling each character in unique ways to nail that style wherein a hand-drawn film, you could just, well, draw it. Not to mention that the cell-shading and certain hand-drawn elements also add to the aesthetic.

Plus, there is so much attention to details, such as most of Katie's character model being covered in sharpie, or how you can see a hint of Eric and Deborabot 3000's drawn on faces even though their black screens are showing something else. Seriously, you can listen to any criticism this movie gets, but don't you dare let someone get away with telling you that it looks awful. It doesn't. It's incredible, and I SO wish that I could have seen it all on the big screen.

The Comedy: On top of being incredibly well-animated, this movie is also incredibly funny. Like, really funny. I shouldn't be surprised since it's made by the same people responsible for Clone High and The Lego Movie, but yeah, I found myself laughing, chuckling, and snorting with nearly every joke in the film. Not every joke works, to be fair. But because of the fast-paced humor, the bad jokes are almost immediately followed up with better ones soon after. What's even better is that the writers know when to take a break with the humor and let some surprisingly compelling drama take over. And even then, when there are jokes during the dramatic moments, they add sincerity to the scene rather than take anything away. Looking at you, The Amazing World of Gumball...I mean, I love you, but sheesh, you need to learn to let a solemn moment play out.

Anyways, the comedy is hilarious. And while I won't spoil every joke, I will go over some bits that might have gotten to me the most.

Katie Mitchell: Let's just go ahead and add Katie Mitchell to the list of characters I highly relate to on a personal level (which is getting longer by the minute, hot damn). But jokes aside, I really like Katie. Her love and desire to make movies is something I identify with, and her goal to just go to a place where she feels like she belongs is easy to understand. Trust me, if I found out there was a group of weirdos who like the same things I do and enjoy the things I make, I’d be willing to pack everything I have and go to them as fast as possible too. Plus, I feel like a lot of us can relate to a character who lives in a household where people question if our career goal is something we can make a living with. I remember two years ago when I told my aunt that I wanted to make my own animated series, and her reaction is a little too similar to Rick's when Katie showed him her movie. They mean well, but sometimes it's for the best to have a cheerleader rather than a critic, especially if that person is family.

Now, Katie isn't perfect as her enthusiasm can get a little annoying at times, and her desire to leave can be conceived as a little too harsh as well. Still, she's pretty cool and serves her role as a protagonist pretty well...also, if the movie gets a sequel, let's hope she and Jude become cannon by then. GIVE KATIE A GIRLFRIEND, DAMN IT!

Aaron Mitchell: But as great as Katie is, it's this goober that earns the reward for my favorite character. At times it looks like Aaron is nothing more than a source of comedy, but he handles some dramatic moments really well. Partial credit goes to Michael Rianda for that one. Yeah, having a child actor would have made Aaron sound more like a kid, but no other voice could have fit him better than what Michael offers as he comes across as weird but never obnoxious.

Also, let's give the writer points for making a character who is clearly neurodivergent. Yet also refraining from having him be annoying or useless to the rest of the cast. No one ever really disrespects or belittles Aaron and instead chooses to work with him rather than against him. Especially Katie, who forms a solid sibling bond with Aaron as a fellow weirdo. It's genuinely sweet to see, and I loved every minute that the writers showed that just because someone acts on a different wavelength doesn't mean they shouldn't be treated any less because of it. You get that with Katie, a little bit, but I see it much more with Aaron, for some reason. And I love him every minute, so that’s a win.

(Plus, I may or may not have had a dinosaur phase when I was younger, so go ahead and add him to the list of relatable characters too.)

Rick Mitchell: This is probably a character you will either love or hate, and I can see both sides of that argument. Because on the one hand, I really like Rick Mitchell. His motivation is clear and understandable from the first set of home videos with him and Katie, both near the beginning and the end. Sure, he messes up a lot, but he is still a man who cares deeply about his daughter, as well as his entire family. He gets to the point where he would make great sacrifices for all of them, especially Katie. Plus, it's just pleasant seeing a cartoon dad who isn't a complete idiot or overprotective regarding his daughter's love life.

However, there are times when Rick comes across as an irresponsible d**k. When he does things like smash the family's phones without telling them or giving them screwdrivers for "presents," you're either gonna find that funny or you won't. Personally, I enjoy Rick and his antics, and I have no problem with irresponsible cartoon dads. As long as they don't cross the line toward Modern-Peter Griffin territory, I've got no problem with dads like Rick, who I believe has never even got that bad. Still, some people might think differently, and I can't blame them. Because after getting great cartoon dads like Greg Universe, I can understand if some people won't be interested in characters like Rick Mitchell.

Rick’s and Katie’s relationship: Alongside the top-notch animation and gut-busting comedy, Rick and Katie's relationship is what I consider the movie's most essential asset. These two are the main characters of the film, and as such, they develop through each other. And what's crazy is that they have very conflicting goals. Katie wants to escape and be with her people, where Rich just wants one last chance to have a good memory with Katie before she leaves. To do so, they first have to understand each other. Katie has to learn why Rick is so desperate to spend time with her, and Rick has to realize why Katie is, well, Katie. What I love most about it is that they try. These two don't spend the entire movie arguing and being at each other's throats until a sudden "Oh" moment in the end. No, there are actual moments when they genuinely try to understand one another and fix their relationship. It's nice to watch, and I especially love when it cuts to Linda and Aaron celebrating each time Katie and Rick get closer to each other. When recommending this movie, I'd say come for the animation and comedy, stay for the phenomenal relationship building.

Monchi: There are probably people already comparing Monchi to Mater or the Minions due to being a comic relief with nothing else to add...but gosh dangit, do I love this little gentleman. Maybe it's because I'm a dog person, but I find Monchie to be incredibly adorable, and I will fight anybody who disrespects this king of kings. Probably not physically, 'cause I'm a wuss, but I will verbally. So WATCH IT!

“HeLlO. i Am DoG.”: Have I mentioned that this movie is funny?

Rick’s videotapes of him and Katie: And right there. Rick's motivation for everything is set in stone through a solid case of visual storytelling.

PAL: The writers do almost everything they should have with this character. PAL might not have the most creative evil plan in the world, but to me, a villain can have a generic scheme as long as they're funny. Thankfully, PAL is funny. Not only is the idea of a smartphone ruling the planet hilarious in all the right ways, but Olivia Colman delivers such a great cynical energy that the character needs. The way PAL reacts to people explaining why humans are worth living is just the best, and her flopping around in a fit of rage successfully gets to me.

If I had to nitpick, I'd say that I wish PAL had more of a meaningful resolution to her character. The movie builds up that she makes a big deal about Mark dropping her, so it feels weird that neither of them really get any actual closure with each other. I'll get more into that in the dislikes, but I wish PAL had more of a fitting end than just dying after accidentally getting dropped in a glass of water. Other than that, she's a great comedic villain for a comedic movie.

PAL MAX Robots: These guys are the funniest characters in the movie. Half of it is the bits of visual humor, while the other half comes from the solid line delivery from Beck Bennett. Especially with Bennett's and Fred Armisen's Eric and Deborahbot 3000. These two are definitely the comedic highlights, as nearly every line they say is both hilarious and kind of adorable at times. And just like with Monchi, if you dare disrespect these characters, I will fight you. Because they are funny, and I will not hear otherwise.

PAL demonstrating what it’s like to be a phone: Have I mentioned that this movie is funny?

(Don't disrespect your phones, kids. Otherwise, they'll try to take over the world.)

PAL turning off the Wi-Fi: Again, have I mentioned this movie is funny?

“I love the dog. You love the dog. We all love the dog. But at some point, you’re gonna have to eat the dog.”: It's the sick jokes that get to me the most. Everyone booing Rick afterward is just the cherry on top.

Attack of the Furbies: Have I. Mentioned. That this movie. Is funny?

Seriously, if you haven't lost your s**t during every second of this scene, then you never had to deal with the demonic entity that is a Furby. In a way, I commend you. But you also don't get to appreciate the comedic genius of all of this. So I also weirdly feel bad for you.

The Mitchells deciding how to celebrate: You don't have a real family if you spend more time arguing about how to celebrate after saving the world than you do about how to save the world. I don't make the rules. I just abide by them.

The PAL MAX Primes: There's not much to say about them. The PAL MAX primes look and act pretty cool, are brilliantly animated, and raise the stakes while still being funny at times. I love 'em, but I don't have much to analyze with them either.

The origin of the moose: ...I'd make the "I didn't need my heart anyway" joke, but to be honest, it's still shattered after WandaVision.

(For real, though, this is a really effective scene that establishes why Rick makes a big deal with the moose and why he might feel hurt that Katie is willing to disregard it completely)

The Theme of Technology and Social Media: There's a theme about how family is important, and working hard on making things work is worth the effort. But that's a bit too generic for my tastes, so instead, I'm gonna talk about the equally important message this movie has about technology. Because as twisted as she is, PAL makes a great point. The technology we have today helps us in a variety of ways. It's especially useful with sites like YouTube, allowing content creators like Katie to reach out and share their voices. The only issue with technology is how people use it. Take note that the main reason why the Mitchells stand a chance against PAL is by using her own tech against her. Yes, over-relying on all the advancements around us can be dangerous, but if we're smart with how we use them, we can get by just fine. This movie isn't about purging all technology like most robot apocalypse stories are. Instead, it's about using it correctly and not being helpless sheep the second the Wi-Fi gets turned off. Which might just be the most unique thing this movie has going for it story-wise (more on that later).

The Climax: The Mitchells vs. The Machines has everything that I think I climax should have. First off, it utilizes callbacks and jokes that I wouldn't have thought twice on actually coming in handy for how the Mitchells win the day. But showing that Monchi causes the robots to malfunction turns a pretty "eh" joke into a solid case of foreshadowing.

Second, everyone does something. Some characters do more than others, sure, but the fact that every Mitchell, even Monchi, has a hand in beating PAL and her robots is a great sense of writing to me. It shows that you really can't cut anyone from the main cast, as they each add value to how they are essential to the plot. Even Aaron, who arguably does the least in the climax, still manages to be the catalyst to what is easily the best scene in the movie. Speaking of which...

Linda Kicks Ass: By the way, that's the actual name on the soundtrack. I'm not even kidding. Check it.

Anyways, for the most part, Linda seemed like a decent cartoon mom. She's insanely supportive but still has the common sense to keep her foot down, like agreeing with Rick to stay safe in the dino stop the second the apocalypse starts. A pretty fun character, for sure, but nothing too noteworthy...but the second she loses her s**t, Linda Mitchell frickin' SKYROCKETS to the best-cartoon-mom territory! Believe me when I tell you that seeing her slice and dice robots like a middle-aged female Samurai Jack is as awesome as it is hilarious. Does it make sense how she can suddenly do this? No, but at the same time, who gives a s**t about common sense?! Because this moment was epic, and I don't think I'll ever get tired of watching it over and over again.

Rick Learning How to Internet...Again: I consider this the funniest moment in the movie. Trust me, the Furby scene is a close, close, CLOSE, second...but I think this scene was funnier.

The final goodbye: This is what I'm talking about when I say humor adds to the dramatic moments. The Mitchells saying "I love you" in moose is pretty funny, but it's also a sweet moment given that this is absolutely how this family of weirdos would say goodbye to each other. And, yeah, I got a little misty-eyed during this scene. Especially when Rick saw Katie pocketing the moose. That s**t just cuts deep, man.

Alex Hirsch Voices a Character: ...That's it. I look up to Alex Hirsh as everything I want to be as a creator, and the fact that his name is on this movie fills me with joy. He's also a story consultant, so that can also explain why the movie turned out as great as it did...although there are some imperfections.

WHAT I DISLIKE

Katie-vision: What's Katie-vision? Well, throughout the movie, we get to see how Katie views the world as there are these hand-drawn elements that look like effects Katie would add if she was the one who made the movie. At times it can be subtle and cute, like when this little beating heart appears when Katie is talking with Jude and her other friends. It's when the movie is in your face with Katie-vision does it get annoying. Like showing how Katie is lying about being certain she can drive up a vertical ramp or signifying what is the Rick Mitchell Special. Even if you justify that this would be how Katie would edit the movie, it still doesn't change how obnoxious these moments can be. For instance, Monchi is justified to be essential for the plot, but that doesn't mean people won't hate him...I'll still fight them if they do, but that's beside the point.

I can totally accept this being a personal issue, as I'm sure some people enjoy it. As for me, I think Katie-vision works best when used subtly instead of crudely.

The Meme humor: It's something similar here. Because some people like meme humor...but I don't. To me, it just dates your story if you reference memes even once. Now, a show, movie, or book being partially dated is nothing new. We Bare Bears, a series that I love, reference memes, apps, and social media constantly. Yet, the show still has a timeless feel to it as it doesn't rely on those references too much. The Mitchells vs. the Machines doesn't rely on memes as much either. But even then, that doesn't make a difference about how annoying that gibbon monkey joke was. Seriously, what the f**k was that? And how is THAT the joke that gets used twice!?

Underutilizing Mark Bowman: It really bothers me how this guy barely does much. I mean, Mark Bowman is the main reason that anything happens in the movie. Because he mistreated PAL, Mark acts as the catalyst for events to come. So the fact that he could have been written out the second PAL takes control doesn't make sense to me. It's worse since I could see more potential with his character through his relationship with PAL. These two could be anti-Rick and Katie, as Mark and PAL show what happens when people disrespect their family. So separating them halfway through the story, and keeping them as such, is a huge mistake as it results in neither having a proper resolution to their arcs. Like I said, Rick and Katie develop through each other, and the same could have happened with Mark and PAL. It doesn't, making it something that I can't help but feel disappointed about.

The Poseys: These are characters I feel like work better with multiple appearances. Sure, they only have the one joke about being a perfect family, but at the same time, you can make a joke like that work. Look at Yvonne from Shaun of the Dead (Which might just be my favorite movie). That's a bit-character whose only purpose is showing how better she is than Shaun despite being in an eerily similar situation. But she works well as we constantly see how great she's doing in every instance we see her. The same could be done with the Poseys, as using a similar joke for one scene is underutilizing great potential to make an already good movie into a better one.

Plus, if you're gonna shoehorn in a romance between Aaron and Abby Posey, the least you could do is have more than one scene developing that...just saying.

Katie’s and Rick’s “Oh” Moments: I want to make it clear that I actually like these scenes. They're well written and effectively emotional. My problem is that they also happen two seconds apart. There's nothing wrong with having a character realize the error of their ways through a tear-jerking moment. It's a popular tactic for a reason. And given how both Rick and Katie are the protagonists, they both need their own "oh" moment. But you gotta space them out, as it makes things easier to see the emotional manipulation that you're clearly trying to pull on the audience. They work, but putting them back to back is an issue easily solved with at least two minutes of padding, not two seconds.

Katie’s Death Fakeout: This is one of the few instances that a joke doesn't work in the movie, made even more annoying with the fact that I could see the punchline a mile away and kept thinking, "Just get to it already." I'm pretty sure no one bought this, especially when Katie didn't look like she could have gotten killed in any way after throwing PAL. It's poorly handled and proof that even the funniest comedies have a stale joke every now and again.

Nothing New is really being done here: Keep in mind that in terms of style, this movie is incredibly innovative. And here's hoping future animated projects can take notes. But narratively speaking? Yeah, there's nothing really new that this movie is offering.

A story about how technology will be the death of us? Been there.

A story about a group of idiots miraculously saving the world? Done that.

A story about a father forcing their teenager on a road trip so they can spend quality time with each other, thus ruining the teen's chance of hanging out with their girlfriend? Believe it or not, I have seen A Goofy Movie...multiple times...both as a kid and as an adult.

Now, I have no issue with a movie's plot being a bit by-the-books, and in some cases, cliche. If done effectively, and if I still have a good time, I don't think there’s much to complain about. And there isn't with The Mitchells vs. The Machines. The problem lies with that I'll forget this movie along with the dozens of others like it in a couple years. Which might just be the biggest issue any film can have.

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Overall, I'd give The Mitchells vs. the Machines a well-earned A-. It has nitpicks, sure, but it's still a blast to watch. It might not be innovative or groundbreaking as movies like the last Sony Pictures Animation movie, Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse. However, it is fun. And when the world is burning down around us, it's nice to have a fun movie that can distract us from all of it. So feel free to log in to Netflix the next time you're in the mood for a film that is great for the whole family. You won’t be disapointed

(And I will talk about The Falcon and the Winter Soldier pretty soon. I just needed to get this out of my system first.)

#the mitchells vs the machines #what i thought about

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diyunho · 4 years

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The Joker x Reader - “Gotham Comic Con”

The Joker and his girlfriend decided to attend “Gotham Comic Con” this year dressed as The Batman and Cat Woman. It took Y/N some time to convince her boyfriend but here they are about to have fun and nothing could spoil the event. Right?...

“Oh my God, this is awesome!” you giggle entering the venue designated for the yearly special event “Gotham Comic-Con” dressed as Cat Woman.

The Joker is right behind you sporting The Batman outfit and he flexes his knees a few times, growling.

“What’s wrong?” you ask although you have a clue because J’s been complaining about since he got off the van parked on Lot B5.

“I hate these stretchy pants! I don’t know how that asshole does it!”

“You’re the one that insisted to come as Batsy,” you reveal point out the truth. “You could have been anyone else.”

“Like who?”

“Cinderella,” you elbow him and your boyfriend is not a huge fan of the concept.

“Why??!!”

“The drama, obviously,” you keep walking alongside him and he’s definitely ready to blow at your insinuation when you gasp. ”Baby, I think that’s Bane!” you gesture towards a massive individual flaunting a Sub-Zero costume.

“How can you tell?” The Joker squints his eyes and the bubbly Y/N has to say it:

“I would recognize his physique anywhere! Plus, he still has the scar between his eyes,” you pucker your lips and The King mumbles a bunch of PG 13 rated things regarding his business partner.

Why?

Last week they got into a brawling and almost killed each other.

The reason?

Y/N.

The Joker believes that Bane always flirts with you (which he does since he likes to refer to you as “a breath of fresh air”); stuff escalated until you had to break it up: J ended up with a busted lip, Bane with a cut between his eyes due to The Clown trying to stab him in the head and you ended up with an inflated ego.

“Hello Mister B.,” you tap the pile of muscles and he turns around to see who’s bothering him.

“Y/N!” he excitedly exclaims, immediately unhappy at the sight of his business partner. “Joker…” the low tone greets.

“Bane…” J sneers.

“What are you two doing here?” Bane inquires.

“Having fun; I finally convinced him we should do this and mingle for once. No better way to spend the day,” the bubbly comment pleases your conversation partner. “So we dressed up and here we are.”

“I must say you’re like a breath of fresh air,” Bane admires your skin tight costume and stilettos which prompts The Joker’s disapproval:

“If you want fresh air, go outside!”

“Make me!”

Oh no! Not again!

“Are you here alone?” you change the subject and distract them from getting into a fight. Not that you wouldn’t enjoy it, but… too many witnesses at the packed Comic Con, it could end up in a total disaster.

“With my niece and nephew. I lost them for a second and I’m searching the premises; they can’t be far,” Bane reports. “Which reminds me: I should get going and find them otherwise my sister will go ballistic. I’ll see you later, Y/N,” he acknowledges you and ignores your man.

“Bye Mister B.,” The Queen snickers at the evident teasing.

“Just her, huh?” The Joker grumbles. “What about me? Did you forget we have a meeting next week???”

“Too bad and super sad: I’m not talking to you!” Bane’s attitude emerges.

“I certainly could care less because I’m not talking to you either!” The King strikes back.

“Then what are we going to do?” Sub-Zero’s better judgement brings up a good argument.

“Y/N will translate!” J proudly states.

Oh no! Not again!

That means they will snarl and make weird noises and you’ll have to guess what it means; an absolutely excruciating task that even a breath of fresh air can’t accomplish without losing it.

Maybe you should let them kill each other.

“Fine!” Bane decides and distances himself from the couple while the Joker shouts since he has to have the last word:

“Fine!”

“Mister Batman?” the 5 years old dressed as a hobbit shily tugs on J’s cape.

“Hm?” the fake vigilante looks down. The little boy suddenly sneezes and wipes his nose with the fabric as the mad man is less than lenient at someone ruining the outfit replica he paid a fortune to have.

“Goddamn…” and he can’t finish his sentence because a large group of screaming children surround him in a heartbeat.

“Batman! Batman!” they jump up and down hyped up to see their hero.

“Go away!” J attempts to reason with the sea of kids he has no patience for. Of course nobody can hear him over the deafening sounds that attract more offsprings and parents.

“That’s so cute!” one of the moms gushes and takes a picture. “It’s delightful seeing a guy dressed as The Batman performing such a public service for our town!”

“He loves people, especially babies, “ you lie without blinking and immortalize the moment yourself.

“Awww,” a few people sigh touched by your praises.

“He must be a nice dude,” a kid’s dad concludes and you sweetly smile from under your mask:

“You have no idea.”

Somebody from the crowd places an infant girl in The Joker’s arms and the mob goes ballistic!! Rosie cheeks keeps sucking from her binky, glaring at the interesting person.

Clapping, cheering and whistling intensify whilst J feels compelled by his increasing popularity to lift the 6 months old above his head for everyone to see how cool he is.

This is not bad, The King enjoys an endless string of applause and the sudden explosion occurring in the diaper followed by quite a foul smell puts an end to his exuberance.

“Jesus!” he crinkles his nose, appalled. “Whose kid is this?” he yells and the thrilled parent waves at him, taking back the stinky, adorable bundle of joy. “Uncle Batsy needs to run!!” J makes up a random plan although nobody can hear him: the noise is overwhelming after he hyped them all up. “Let’s bail before they trap me again! Pretty soon I won’t be able to walk, Princess. Everything is crammed in there, a total mess! I hate stretchy pants!!” he addresses his woman and quickens the pace until an atrocious abomination stops him in his tracks.

A specimen mocking The Joker wearing a purple suit is getting quite the attention: over exaggerated red lips smudged over the lip line, tattoo on the forehead that spells “Cabbaged”, a bunch of cheap golden chains from the Dollar Store around his neck and a sloppy green wig complete the assemble in a cringy manner.

You are equally speechless and The Joker manages to utter:

“What… THE HELL… is that????!!!!”

“Ummm… a Clown?” your sassy remark doesn’t score high marks as expected; you feel his eyes burning holes through you.

“You’re hilarious! Would you like to share your standup comedy talents on the stage??!” his index finger points at the platform meant to host a guest appearance from Bruce Wayne in the next hour.

Courtesy of “Wayne Enterprise” sponsoring the event: free food and refreshments for everyone under 18 years old.

You don’t answer and pout, upset J’s pissed attitude is already ruining your mood.

“I’m going to kill that buffoon posing as me!” he inhales full of spite and reaches for the knife hidden in his left boot.

“You can’t…” you hesitantly halt his movement. “Dozens of people, that’s just asking for trouble!”

“I’m not going to let a prick disrespect me!”

“You won’t, we’ll figure something afterwards. We can wait for him outside in the parking lot and take care of it without drawing attention! Please?” you beg hoping he’ll listen to you. “Pleeeaaaase!!!!“ you insist, perfectly aware he’s about to commit murder regardless. “I have a bunch of VIP passes to take pictures with celebrities. You promised J!” you stomp your high heels, exasperated. “You promised we’ll have a fun date!!”

“Why do I have to take pics with celebrities?! I don’t like anybody!”

The look on Y/N’s face: sheer disappointment; most of her features are covered with the mask yet he can tell.

“But I like you so the most I’ll do is take a selfie with you!” The Joker makes amendments on his own terms.

The Queen sniffles, trying to bottle up her emotions and she can’t help it: she bursts up in tears at her boyfriend’s candor.

Oh no! Not again!

Why?

The King of Gotham says nice things maybe twice a year and each time you struggle not to cry but it’s impossible: how can one resist such charm?!

Your complete meltdown makes him roll his eyes while your shaky hand takes a picture of the royal duo.

“Ugghhh…” J’s grimace turns your attention towards him.

“What is it baby?” you wipe your tears with his cape.

He would probably criticize such affront still there’s a pressing issue taking precedent.

“Princess, these tights are making my legs numb. I can’t feel my crown jewelry anymore.”

“Huh?” you forget to weep, startled.

“Cursed stretchy pants! I think I won’t be able to have sex for a month!” The Joker stretches his feet, uncomfortable.

“What??!!!” you raise your voice, panicked. “A month???!!”

Hell no!

Y/N grabs The Joker’s right hand and starts dragging him after her, yelling:

“Out of the way! Out of the way, it’s an emergency!!” whilst everyone is wondering how can someone wearing those 7-inch stilettos can march so fast.

“Where are we going, Pumpkin?!” J is inquiring and you yank at his arm, alarmed.

“To the car!”

“Why?”

Y/N doesn’t have time for explanations: she basically flies across the parking lot to get to section B5, opens the van’s back door and shoves J inside. He lands on his abs as you relentlessly pull on his boots, accomplishing to take them off in record time. Then you heave at his tights, huffing a storm at the stiff garment:

“I’ll be damn if I’ll wait a month for a ride in Funky Town!”

A mother and her 11 years old son pass by and she covers his eyes, horrified at the indecency as she guides him throughout the maze of vehicles.

“There are children here!” the woman protests. “Get a room!”

Luckily, she wasn’t heard by The Clown and his girl because… victory! The stretchy pants are off, J only in his boxers now.

“How are you feeling?” you roll him and he exhales, assessing the damage succeeding Y/N swift actions.

“Not sure, same?... Sit on my lap,” J offers and you don’t need a second invitation.

“Well?” you hold in the anxiety reaching high levels under these dire circumstances.

“Dunno, kiss me and we’ll see.”

You kiss him and he purrs.

“Well?” you interrogate again.

“Kiss me again!” he orders and you put more passion into it since your future happiness depends on it. “Hmm…” J groans. “I believe things are improving.”

“Yeah?” Y/N is about to have another breakdown although J didn’t say sweet rubbish; it’s just that kind of occasion.

“U-hum!”

“Then… what do you say we go home and celebrate your recovery?” you whisper in his ear.

“What about Comic Con?”

“Screw it!” you hop off his knees. “I’ll drive, you focus on your convalescence, ok baby?”

“Ok,” The Joker agrees and begins to stride around the van as Bruce Wayne’s limousine happens to drive by, the billionaire preparing to attend the event he sponsored.

“Stop the car!” Bruce commands at the weird view in the distance: a man wearing a replica of his Batman suit-- helmet, mask, gloves, cape… but no pants or boots, the bottom part of his attire consisting solely of underwear. “Right when you think you saw it all…” he shakes his head in denial, oblivious about who the person is.

Mister Wayne should at least have some empathy for the man enduring those tights for as long as he could; it might not be a record, but who could ever beat the real Batman at wearing stretchy pants anyway?!

Also read: MASTERLIST

https://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker fanfiction #the joker imagine #the joker jared leto #the joker #joker #joker fanfiction #joker imagines #jokerleto #the joker suicide squad #joker suicide squad #mister j #mister joker #dc #dcu

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army-of-mai-lovers · 3 years

Note

hello arthur!! tbh people are being terrible in your inbox and the last ask killed my brain cells so this is your free bingo card to talk about anything you like. also sometimes googling sharks with human teeth (exactly what it sounds like) helps!! much love <3

oh my gosh I’m OBSESSED with these photos they’re so cute!!!! and thank you for the bingo card Effie I appreciate it so much. I’m gonna rant about Deadly Class (a show I definitely don’t like and thus don’t run a fan blog for....smh) bc it’s on my mind and it looks like it’s just going to go quietly into that good night instead of being made fun of and dissected and I think that should change bc goodness gracious that show does not deserve a dignified death. also I’m gonna put this rant under a readmore bc this is gonna be long and it has nothing to do w atla. warnings for discussions of racism, callous mentions of murder and death, swearing, discussion of Nazis, discussion of gore, abuse ment

Okay so for those not in the know (which is probably everyone considering the show was on Syfy and it’s being canceled due to low viewership) Deadly Class is a teen murder drama set in the late ‘80s starring Lana Condor, which makes it sound like it was engineered in a lab to appeal to me. Literally my friend and I were in the middle of watching Schitt’s Creek, which I adore, and she was like “well I heard about this show called Deadly Class” and described it and I was like fuck Schitt’s Creek we’re watching this. It had a 64% on Rotten Tomatoes, which usually makes me nervous, but I was literally like “I don’t care because I know I’m going to love it.”

And well. I did not love it.

I truly do not understand how one fucks up “teenagers (mostly) of color go to murder boarding school in the late ‘80s” that bad (I mean the Russo brothers are involved and they fuck up everything they touch so perhaps it was just that). I haven’t read the comic the show is based on but it does appear that a *lot* of the issues of the show stem from the comic, which is...disappointing. Basically, our MC, Marcus, starts off the show homeless after his group home burned down (and it’s heavily implied that he was the one to do it) and gets hunted down by these elite teenage murderers who invite them to their murder school.

Already, numerous problems are starting to show themselves. First of all, Marcus is Latino, which, yes, it’s very cool that the MC is Latino, except he is literally the white-passingest man I’ve ever seen in my life, and I’ve seen my dad. I didn’t realize that he was Latino until they showed his extremely stupid backstory in a shitty animated sequence and whoever was voicing his dad did this really, really thick Nicaraguan accent and I was like wait a damn minute. So then, I looked it up, and the guy playing Marcus is named Benjamin Wadsworth, which immediately made me think that they had pulled a Noah Centineo and made me think this fully white actor was half Latino (and yes, Latinos can be white, but I think Marcus is supposed to be a nonwhite Latino, and I thought Benjamin Wadsworth was both white and non-Latino). But you know, as an light skinned ethnically ambiguous mixed kid myself, I thought I owed it to him to dig a little deeper, and turns out our pal Ben is mixed (also, he’s like six months older than me and married, which is a trip). And like, okay, I guess I’m glad they didn’t get a white non-Latino man to play a Latino character, but they literally got the whitest looking Latino they could think of to play him. He originally auditioned for Billy. Billy’s the token white. And the producers were like “wait you have Latino ancestry?” (how they found that out I don’t fucking know) and let him go for Marcus. And like. Okay. The character in the comics is light-skinned but he does not look white, and Benjamin is not a good enough actor for them to just pass on the actors who surely auditioned for that role and were more visibly Latino but like. Okay, I guess.

Second of all, this show is mega racist and it starts to reveal itself when you look at how the murder kids are styled in literally their first appearance. What struck me the most was the fact that the Latina (whose name is fucking Maria, for heaven’s sake) was wearing a sexy red dress and Day of the Dead makeup, which, I’m sorry, huh? That just so happens to be the Mexican girl’s murder outfit? I’ve tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and speculate that maybe she wears it to like, subvert people’s expectations, but at this point idk how this is subverting anyone’s expectations nor why she’d be so invested in that. Also, she’s supposed to be a teenager. It’s fucked up to sexualize any of your child characters but it really hits different when it’s your Latina character (and yeah, I know the actress playing Maria isn’t a teenager, but still, it’s the principle of the thing). And then of course, the Black guy, Willie (no he’s not related to Billy they were just like yeah two guys with rhyming names in our main cast sounds legit) is a gangbanger dude who talks the way that white people think Black people talk. I keep waiting for this guy to have one line that’s not complete garbage, but I’m five episodes deep and so far nada, which sucks so bad because there’s like, kernels of an interesting character buried in this horrible racist trope. Also, they had him sleep with a N*zi. I hate it here. Lana Condor (her character’s name is Saya) gets off fairly okay, at least in this first shot (they don’t have her wearing a kimono to go murder people, thank fuck), but the way she behaves is super weird, like kinda flirty towards Marcus, kinda badass but not enough to actually do anything, etc. Billy’s white so they couldn’t make him a racist caricature or anything but I have no idea why he’s here. See, instead of talking about the real politics of the real world, Deadly Class makes up fake prejudice that honestly makes the lok bender/nonbender bullshit look sensible. Maria, Willie, and Saya are Legacies, which means that their families are established murderers (fun fact: the N*zi girl is also a Legacy, because her father murdered hundreds of civil rights activists. And the characters of color align themselves with her. I don’t understand.) Billy, and later Marcus when he decides to go to murder school, are Rats, meaning they have no affiliation with established murder groups. So, in this show, the people of color have privilege over the (mostly white) Rats. Make it make sense. Further, this means that Maria, Saya, and Willie should have absolutely no reason to hang out with Billy, and yet they do because the Russo brothers have heard that the kids these days like the found family trope, so they put five unlikely friends in a room together and insinuated that they could all be besties. I swear, this show is the La Croix of found family tho, in that there is absolutely no flavor whatsoever. None of the characters develop into a found family. Saya is bound to care for Marcus for reasons, Maria is using him, Willie is also using him, and Billy is only his friend because they’re both Rats. Saya and Maria are already friends (and honestly their friendship is the most compelling thing in the whole show). There are no other connections between the characters. But they’re totes a found family!!!!/s

Also, they don’t let Saya be mean. Every character says “oh Saya’s such a bitch” but do we ever see Saya being a bitch??? No! Saya is literally just a nice girl who is kinda quiet sometimes and murders people and has a tragic backstory. There’s an argument to be made for Maria being more bitchy than her tbh. And like, fine, if you want Saya to be nice, she can be nice, but stop telling me she’s mean then!!! If you’re gonna tell me that I’m gonna get to see mean Lana Condor in a leather jacket in this show then deliver bitch.

There’s truly so much more I could talk about (Chico??? What the fuck is Chico’s arc???? What in the actual hell were they thinking when they were writing anything to do with Chico????? my DUDES WHAT IN THE SAM HELL. also making Billy straight was so fucking stupid he’s literally gay come on now, also Master Lin is so fucking useless what is he even doing here) but instead I’m going to outline the version of Deadly Class my friend and I have been talking about while we watch the inferior real Deadly Class.

lots of things are the same actually because there are some elements of the show that have potential. Marcus is still homeless at the beginning, everybody still thinks he burned down the group home but he didn’t, Willie is still a pacifist, he and Marcus are still partners for their first murder school assignment, Saya’s mean (but like actually), Billy still has green hair and is the token white of the group (although a Billy of color.....thinking), and they all hate Reagan

in an ideal world Willie and Maria would have different names (Willie bc his name rhymes with Billy’s and that’s fucking stupid, also Willie is just a terrible name in general, Maria partially because it sounds way too similar to Marcus and I don’t understand why the guy who wrote this couldn’t make his characters have different sounding names, and partially because no Latina character of mine is going to be named fucking Maria), but for the purposes of this outline I’ll keep their names the same for clarity.

Marcus doesn’t initially have his rep. He’s on the streets when he sees a girl his age (Saya) come out of this elevator in the back of a restaurant brandishing a sword, and decides to go into the elevator, sees the stash of weapons, and decides to steal one so he can fend for himself better.

also keeping the detail of Rory murdering a bunch of homeless kids, but now Marcus knows that Rory is actively hunting him down.

in the process of robbing the school’s weapons collection, Marcus figures out that it’s a murder school

Master Lin catches Marcus robbing the school, they fight, Master Lin overpowers Marcus and ties him up. He says the weapons are for students only, and Marcus says he’s applying. Lin asks what his qualifications are, and Marcus says “you know that group home that burned down three months ago? all the kids that died? I started the fire.”

(also no shade to Benjamin Wadsworth but in this version he is not playing Marcus. Marcus is not white-passing)

Master Lin initially doesn’t believe him, but Marcus presses on and eventually convinces Master Lin that this is really what happened, and so Lin welcomes him to murder school.

Marcus’s first class is Poisons, and his lab partner is Billy, who takes a shine to him and shows him around school. There’s no Legacy/Rat nonsense, but you do have normal high school drama adapted slightly for murder school. Maria is the prettiest and most popular girl in school, Saya is the mean girl/valedictorian, Willie is the jock, and Billy’s the punky weirdo.

Marcus is, of course, the new kid with a reputation to live up to.

Things kind of fall apart when Willie and Marcus are paired up for an assignment: to seek revenge on somebody.

also Willie’s backstory is extremely different. his dad was a Black Panther, and he was murdered by the FBI when Willie was a kid. distraught, his mom moved to Texas, where she started working a corporate job and rose really high in the ranks. To maintain her status in the company, she had to do some really horrible things, including working with the FBI to take down other civil rights activists. Willie found out about this and was absolutely horrified. his mother insisted she was doing this so that he could have a better life, but he refused to listen to her, and ran away, and ended up at murder school.

Willie got into murder school because Lin knows who his mom is, and assumes that Willie is just as cutthroat as she is. he gains a reputation as well.

also, Willie’s extremely wealthy, and this shows in the way he dresses (preppy jock vibes)

you don’t find out about this backstory for a minute tho bc unlike Albert Kim and the Russo Brothers, I can wait until the right opportunity presents itself for a backstory drop.

ok anyway back to what I was saying earlier

they have to seek revenge on somebody. Marcus asks Willie if there’s anybody he wants revenge on, and Willie very sincerely says no. Marcus scoffs at him and says he’s clearly had a very easy life, to which Willie replies, “Well, who do you want revenge on?”

Marcus immediately says, “Rory.”

So they track Rory down, and since Marcus hasn’t actually killed anybody, he hands the weapons over to Willie. Willie frowns and says that he has nothing against this dude he’s never met before, so Marcus should be the one to hurt him. Marcus says that this is a group project and Willie’s got to pull his weight, and they get into an argument

the argument gets loud, and Rory hears them fighting and starts chasing them.

in the midst of the chase, both of them divulge their secrets to one another. Willie laughs hysterically and says that they deserve each other bc they both lied to get where they are, and now they’re going to die because of it

Rory backs them into a corner, and Marcus uses one of the swords he tried to steal earlier to shank Rory

They throw the body in a dumpster, and after this, they’re friends, and Marcus decides he’ll fit right in at murder school.

ok so that was only one episode but things to look forward to in the version of Deadly Class that only exists in me and my friend’s heads: Marcus dealing with the emotional and moral fallout of his first murder, Willie trying to figure out what it means to be a pacifist in a world so hellbent on doing violence towards him, Saya being mean to everyone except Maria, Maria convincing Saya to relax and have fun, the gang bonding in a Breakfast Club style situation adapted for murder school and making a joke about how this is like the Breakfast Club because it’s the 80s and the movie just came out, Saya and Maria falling in lesbians, Marcus and Saya being depressing edgelord besties, Billy being gay and fighting his abusive father, Marcus and Billy being uncool weirdo bffs, Willie and Maria rolling their eyes at Marcus and Saya’s cynicism, Billy coming out to Marcus and talking about his experiences being gay, which makes Marcus think “hang on, why do I relate to that?”, Willie seeing Marcus make a sarcastic comment about kissing a guy and having a crisis, Marcus and Willie falling in love, the gang taking a road trip to Vegas to murder Billy’s dad and giving Billy a gnc thrift store makeover on the way, and eventually the gang murdering the shit out of Ronald Reagan.

#caps tw #effie tag #replies #not atla #racism #murder tw #death tw #swearing tw #nazi #finn don't look #politics tw #gore tw #abuse ment #you do not have to read this effie it was very satisfying just to write it #arthur tags for later #gonna show this to my friend bc we haven't outlined anything this specific yet

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lady-divine-writes · 4 years

Text

ACITW AU Inspired fic - “The Vacation Ultimatum” (Rated PG13)

Summary:

Sebastian wants to go somewhere different for summer vacation this year, but Kurt has his heart set on the beach house. He promises Sebastian he'll at least entertain other options. ... In his defense, he finds something very entertaining. (2316 words)

Notes: This is an ACITW inspired fic I started writing last summer before my computer died on me.

Read on AO3.

“So, babe, I was thinking …” Sebastian leaps over the back of the sofa to sit beside Kurt scanning the pages of the latest Vogue magazine.

“That’s dangerous. Real dangerous,” Kurt comments, not lifting his eyes from an ad for Gucci footwear. Kurt seems particularly interested in a pair of blue-and-black brocade loafers, checking the fine print for price and sizing information. Sebastian, knowing by now what Kurt’s long, thoughtful look (narrowed eyelids, scrunched nose, sucked in lips) means, takes note. “Didn’t we talk about that?”

“Ha … ha … ha. Anyway, what if this year, instead of going to the beach house for the summer …?”

Sebastian doesn’t get farther than that before Kurt drops his magazine and glares at him with the ice-cold burn of a lover scorned.

“Wh-what!? Not go to the …! Why!?”

“Babe…” Sebastian knew there was a chance Kurt would react this way from the second he opened his mouth. Kurt is always at his most deadly when he won’t let Sebastian finish a sentence. But Sebastian had hoped he might be persuaded to listen to reason, especially since he’d mentioned wanting to go on a pilgrimage to the House of Alexander this year. If anything could break them out of their summer vacay rut, it should have been McQueen. A jaunt across the pond would have been a welcome change from their usual trip to North Carolina. But apparently Kurt is too sentimental to break from their routine, even for a journey to the temple of his idol.

Sebastian had been hoping against hope … and he lost.

“Because we go to the beach house every summer!”

Kurt’s eyes shift left and right, waiting for a more compelling argument. “Yeah, and …?”

“And aren’t you getting a little tired of it? Don’t you think it’s getting old?”

Kurt’s jaw drops in silent gasp. “Who … who are you right now? How … how can you say that!?”

“Because over a decade of summers at the same beach house can get kind of stale, Kurt!”

Kurt shakes his head slowly, disbelief deepening fine lines around his mouth and the corners of his eyes. “You’ve known me for over a decade! Am I getting stale?”

“Do you really want an answer to that?” Sebastian jokes before self-preservation and common sense have the chance to shove his size nines in his mouth and stop him. Kurt’s mouth snaps shut with frightening speed, his teeth making a sound when they meet like the cracking of bone.

“If that’s how you feel,” he says, words short, over-enunciated, clipped at the ends as if with razor-sharp shears, “then I can go to the beach house alone this summer, and you can go somewhere fresher!”

Sebastian sighs. He should have known he wasn’t going to win this one. He was defeated before he began. “Kurt …”

“And while you’re there, maybe you can find yourself someone less hard and crusty since I’m becoming so stale!”

“Jesus Christ, Kurt!” Sebastian’s hands find his hair and pull in frustration. “Stop twisting things around! That’s not what I meant! Arguing about the same thing over and over is getting stale!”

“Then stop arguing,” Kurt poses with a wicked grin. “There. Problem solved.”

“I happen to have good reasons for not wanting to go to the beach house this summer!”

“And those are …?”

“For one thing, it’s nowhere near private.”

Kurt chuckles humorlessly. “It’s on a private beach! That your family owns!”

“Olivia and Brian drop in with the kids all the time, unannounced.”

“So? I love Olivia and Brian! And the kids!”

“So do I! But I also love being able to walk around naked and fuck in the kitchen!”

“No one ever stops you walking around naked here at home! And we’ve fucked in the kitchen so many times, we’ve worn ass marks onto the floor, the island, and the table! You can’t throw a robe over yourself and fuck in a bed like a normal person for one month?”

“Kurt! Don’t you think it’s nice to do something new every once in a while?”

Kurt carefully picks up his dropped magazine so that he has something to toss sassily aside and crosses his arms over his chest. “Have you met me?”

“Uh, yeah,” Sebastian says, mirroring the gesture … minus having anything to throw. Not that he didn’t look around him for something suitable, but the only things within reach are coffee mugs and Yankee Candles, and he doesn’t want to accidentally give Kurt a concussion. “You’re stubborn and annoying!”

“Exactly!”

Sebastian snorts at the word Kurt wasn’t quick enough to catch before it flew out of his mouth, turned around, and slapped him in the face.

Kurt closes his eyes on his own faux pas and shakes it from his head. “I mean, about being stubborn. How many times do I stray from the familiar? I wear the same designers all the time, I order the same dish at every restaurant, I’ve driven the same Navigator since high school …”

“Yeah …” Sebastian clears his throat before he accidentally guffaws “… by the way, that’s something we really need to talk about ...”

Kurt’s offended face becomes comically dramatic. “My life is stressful, Sebastian!”

Sebastian pauses his argument to look Kurt over from head to toe - his significant other reclining on the sofa in his pajamas and robe with his feet propped up … at three on a Thursday afternoon.

“Yeah …” He leans over, catches the end of Kurt’s untied belt, and flips it across his waist. “The rigors of your life must be crippling!”

“It’s my afternoon off, you deranged kumquat!” Kurt snaps, tossing the belt back and smacking Sebastian on the chin. “The point is I value our summer together. Most of all, I value the fact that I don’t have to stress out about it because I don’t have to put any energy into thinking about doing something different! It’s a no-brainer!”

“So you’re saying it suits you.”

Kurt points at Sebastian, very reminiscent of a circa 2000 Cooper Anderson. “Watch your step, Smythe, or you’re sleeping alone tonight.”

“Yeah, okay,” Sebastian relents, putting his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry. That one went a bit too far.”

Kurt breathes in deep, exhales long. “Look, when we first got together and divvied up responsibilities, you put me in charge of planning summer vacation.”

“Because I thought you’d send us to all sorts of exotic locales with clothing optional activities.”

“We do those over spring break! And on our birthdays! And over New Year’s! We’ve flashed more people than Tara Reid! I like going to the beach house in the summer! It’s tradition!”

“But we can go anywhere in the world!”

“I don’t wanna go anywhere in the world!” Kurt parrots in a whiny voice. “I wanna go to the beach house!”

Sebastian slaps his hands on his thighs and pushes up to his feet. “Fine. Whatevs. Just do me a favor. For me. Because you supposedly love me.”

Kurt rolls his eyes so far back in his head he glimpses his soul. “I guess …”

“Get on your phone and check out some other spots that you might want to go to. Any spot, regardless of distance or cost. Then we’ll compare, list pros and cons, and together we’ll make an educated decision. That way we’ll know one hundred percent for certain that there isn’t somewhere else that tickles your fancy.”

“I already know …”

“Just this once,” Sebastian says, cutting into Kurt’s grousing, “and again, because you love me.”

Kurt’s face pinches, his lips pulled tight to avoid creasing. He drops his head back on his shoulders in exasperation and reaches in his robe pocket for his phone. “All right, all right. But shoo. I don’t need any distractions.”

Sebastian leans in to give Kurt a kiss, grinning when he swats him away like an irritating insect. “Your wish is my command, oh benevolent dictator.”

“That’s Expedia God to you.”

***

Sebastian makes himself scarce for more than an hour running odd errands - one of which includes buying Kurt his favorite cheesecake from the bakery down the block. He’s both encouraged and relieved when he returns home to find Kurt still in the living room when he should be at yoga, bent over his phone, staring intently at something on his screen.

He missed yoga for this, Sebastian thinks. He must be taking it seriously.

Even more than that, Kurt is smiling, lower lip pinched between his teeth, his eyes positively glowing.

‘Yes!’ Sebastian cheers silently, slipping into the kitchen to put away the cheesecake while allowing himself a moment to daydream about spending this upcoming summer vacation on the French Riviera, which they admittedly did last Christmas. Or in Jamaica, where they’d gone two falls ago. Or, like he’d thought, London, which is where they’d spent Fashion Week. Sebastian stops with his hand on the refrigerator door, chewing his own lower lip in thought. Looking back on their lives together as a couple, they have done their share of traveling around the world, even if they do spend every summer in North Carolina. So … spending another one there isn’t exactly a big deal. They’d recently booked a flight to Rio to coincide with the start of the school year, winging over after the egress of promiscuous co-eds vying for one final fling before hitting the books.

Jesus Christmas!

Is he being a jerk about nothing!?

Sebastian pulls out his cell phone and checks his calendar. Nearly every box of every month is filled with meetings, assignments, appointments. But aside from that, it’s cluttered with trips they’ve planned - the Cape for their anniversary; the Poconos for Kurt’s dad and stepmom’s anniversary; Munich for Oktoberfest, which happens to be a tradition that Sebastian started - one that Kurt hasn’t always been so fond of. He can appreciate the food. He can appreciate the beer. He can appreciate the authentic costumes and the lively music and dancing.

But the second people start hugging and slapping each other, he gets a little skittish.

Last year, Sebastian flew Kurt to Milan last minute for Arbor Day, just to give him a reason to make the stupid day memorable. Thus is one of the perks of being rich. He’d planned on making that a tradition.

So that’s two of Sebastian’s traditions to one of Kurt’s.

Sebastian sticks his head in the fridge, smacking his forehead against the butter dish, and groans.

If Kurt wants to spend this summer - and every summer until the day they die - in North Carolina, is it really such a big deal?

But seeing Kurt stare at his phone with a huge smile on his face intrigues Sebastian. Even after everything, their whole argument, he did what Sebastian asked. He gave it a chance. What if he actually found somewhere else he wants to go? Skydiving? Spelunking? Scuba diving? Another hot air balloon ride?

Sebastian swallows hard remembering …

… they can do all those things in North Carolina.

He removes his head from the dairy section and closes the door. Then he strolls back into the living room, nonchalant smile on his face.

“You’re looking pretty focused there, babe. Did you find something you like?”

“Yup.”

Sebastian’s spine tingles with the possibilities. “Willing to share?”

“Well, in order for you to appreciate where I ended up on my journey, I’ll need to walk you through my process.”

“Do tell …”

“I didn’t have any particular locale in mind, but I knew I wanted to go to the beach, so I started looking up beaches.”

Sebastian nods. “Not venturing too far from the comfortable, I see, but still promising.”

“Tropical beaches, exclusive beaches, private beaches, beach resorts, islands …”

“A-ha …”

“I saw a link for this beach in San Diego called Dog Beach.”

“Very nice. Quaint. I’ve been there once or twice. Lots of nice little communities with bungalows …”

“I thought so, too. But I was clicking through the website and I saw the most amazing thing. Something I wouldn’t mind seeing in person.”

“Really?” Sebastian says hopefully.

“A-ha. It had pictures of a surf dog competition …”

Sebastian’s smile dips at the corners. His voice becomes a little tight. “Okay …”

“I clicked on it and …”

“Let me guess …” Sebastian drops his head into his hands, blunt nails digging into the cold spot on his forehead “… you’ve been watching videos of surfing dogs.”

“Yup.”

“For how long?”

“Oh, I don’t know. When was the last time you were in here?”

Sebastian’s arms drop to his side revealing his disgruntled expression. “You’ve been watching videos of dogs surfing for two hours!?”

“I guess. Time’s just … flown by …”

Sebastian watches in agony as Kurt switches to another tab on his phone, bringing up a YouTube video of a bulldog riding a skateboard. Kurt chuckles and shakes his head.

“How’d you learn how to do that?” he baby talks the screen. “You’re the goodest boy, aren’t you? 12 out of 10.” He scrolls down to the comment section to type that in.

Sebastian slaps his forehead. He turns on his heel and heads for the bedroom before he has the chance to go insane. To be honest, he should have known better. He walked into this one, what with his cockimamey ideas about going somewhere else over the summer. “Beach house it is.”

“If that’s what you think is best, dear,” Kurt mutters to Sebastian’s retreating back, deeply enthralled in another dog video. He waits till he hears Sebastian open the door to the bathroom, then closes out the video and composes a text:

To: Olivia

False alarm! We’re on for the beach house!

He giggles conspiratorially when a message immediately pops up.

From: Olivia

Thank God! See you there!

#kurtbastian #acitw #acitw au #sebkurt #sekurt

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thoughtfullyyoungduck · 4 years

Text

Meet me in the past part 5

A/N: This is part five to: ‘meet me in the past’. This absolutely suck, but I thought you know what I’m not changing it again, so you know, here you go. I hope you still enjoy regardless. Please let me know what you think!

Summary: After Stanley Uris takes his own life, his daughter goes to find the recipients of his letters and ends up in Derry. After an encounter with IT, she ends up traveling back into the past, meeting the younger version of her dad and his friends.

warnings: cursing, mentions of suicide and some really rude words of Pennywise

tagging; @artlovingbre @cocastyle

Stan stared at Emily as she ran away, but he didn’t respond. He felt the world slip away from under his feet. Who the hell did this girl think she was? He turned his gaze towards Richie, who’s eyes were widened and looked even bigger now then they already did on regular days. Richie was his best friend, even though Stan couldn’t stand him sometimes, and so he looked at him for something, a conformation that whatever happened just then really happened, and it wasn’t all in Stan’s head. Richie however did nothing but stare, as if he himself couldn’t quite figure out what this entire day had been about. However, Richie knew Stan like the back of his hand, so he knew exactly what to do when he saw the look in Stan’s eyes, deflect.

‘I Wonder when she got dropped on her head one to many times am I right boys?’ Richie joked, adjusting the glasses, and trying desperately to lift the dark mood that feel upon the group.

‘Not now Richie’, Bev interjected, her mouth set into a thin line. Stan turned his gaze towards her then, after scanning the entire group. Out of all of them, she seemed the least confused, instead she looked thoughtful, as if still deciding how to approach this situation best.

‘Why not Beverly?’ Stan asked, his face sour. ‘He’s right, what the hell is she even talking about? I’m her father? I’m fucking thirteen.’

It seemed that their previous argument about IT was forgotten, instead everyone was looking at Stan, gauging his reaction. Richie opened his mouth to try and make another joke, but a sharp look from Bev shut him up.

‘Wait,’ Stan said, ‘why aren’t you surprised? Did you know about this? About whatever delusion she is dealing with?’ Stan looked at Beverly, but Beverly was pointedly not looking at him.

‘Are you kidding me? How long?’ Stan’s voice raised in hysteria, his arms waving around wildly.

‘Stan,’ Bev started, and her voice was shaking.

‘How long’, Stan asked again. His voice dropped down to a threatening tone, and Beverly shivered despite herself. Stan would never ever lay a finger on her she knew, but he was furious, and it sucked that Beverly was the target of his anger.

‘She told me last week okay, after you made those stupid jokes and we spend some time alone together. Look Stan I’m sorry, but she made me promise not to tell you. Besides it’s not like you believe her. Look at you, you look like you’re about to punch something or someone.’

‘That’s because I thought you were my friend Bev. I can’t believe you could hear something so absurd and still not tell me.’ Stan said, still visibly angry, though he was starting to calm down a bit. He was very observant, and rational, and he was starting to realize that getting mad at Beverly wasn’t going to solve anything.

‘What if she’s Pennywise who has been stalking us? What if this is just another one of his ploys?’ Stan uttered, his hands now desperately scrubbing at his pants, trying to get the non-existent crinkles away. He always did this when he was nervous, and it was his tell tale when he was lying too.

‘T-t-that doesn’t m-m-make any s-s-sense S-s-stan. W-w-why k-k-keep up the c-c-charades for s-s-so long?’ Bill inquired.

‘Are you saying you believe her Billiam’, Richie questioned, ‘cause if so that would mean Stan the man had sex and I don’t think Stan over here would just pop his cherry for anyone,’ Richie quipped, and while doing so he swung his arm around Stan’s shoulders.

‘Beep beep Richie’, Stan snapped back, though he didn’t push Richie’s arm away.

‘Bev what do you believe’? Mike asked, taking a step towards the group. Bev sighed.

‘Look, I admit that I was skeptical in the beginning too. But just look at what happened to us today. We got attacked by a demonic clown that lives in the sewers. Nothing about this is normal okay? And Emily she told me stuff, and you know how good I am at telling when people are lying, and I sincerely think that she was telling the truth. So yes, I believe her.’

‘Just because she believes that it’s true, doesn’t mean it is Beverly’, Stan grumbled.

‘Don’t call Bev a liar’, Ben interrupted, as always coming to Bev’s rescue. It would be endearing to Stan if he wasn’t so fucking irritated.

‘Why is everyone acting like what Emily just said is totally normal? Am I the only one who understands how crazy this is?’ Stan asked again. He looked towards Richie, who shrugged in response.

‘Fine’, he spat out, walking towards his bike and grabbing it with a huff.

‘Stan, where are you going?’ Richie shout out. The rest of the losers shuffled forward their bikes as well, like they were anticipating something bad to happen.

‘I’m going to find her. If you all believe her than fine, she has some explaining to do. I want to know where her delusions come from.’

He swung one leg over his bike, already pushing his feet, gaining speed before abruptly stopping at Bill’s voice.

‘S-S-Stan stop’, Bill said, and Stan did. All of the losers would if they were in Stan’s place. Bill didn’t even have to raise his voice. Whatever Bill said, goes. He had a curtain authority about him, and the losers without question followed him.

‘Y-y-you can’t j-j-just g-g-go at h-h-her Stan. Y-y-y-you need t-t-to calm d-d-down first. It’s n-n-no use i-i-if y-your just g-g-gonna yell a-at her.

Stan turned around slowly. The other losers watched on without saying a word, to see what Stan would do.

‘I’m calm, I’m not going to yell at her Bill,’ which as obviously a lie, Stan looked everything but calm. If anything, he looked mostly anxious.

Still though, Bill nodded solemnly, going to his own bike.

‘Don’t yell at her Stan, she’s been through a lot already’, Bev spoke, and as she and Stan made eye contact her eyes flickered downwards.

‘You know something, don’t you?’ Stan inquired.

Bev shook her head, but didn’t respond as she wheeled her bike closer Bill’s.

‘You do, else you wouldn’t have said that. What did she tell you?’

‘I thought you didn’t believe her’, Bev countered, but because she did, Stan knew for a fact that she was lying now.

‘I don’t, but I want to know what she said about me, about us.’ Stan declared. He didn’t understand why Bev wouldn’t just tell him, unless.. ‘it was something bad wasn’t it?’

‘Stan, talk to her, please. Just ask her, I’m not the person you should discuss this with,’ Bev insisted.

Stan stared at her for a few more seconds, before taking off without looking backwards. He was sure the other losers would follow.

He wasn’t sure where Emily could have gone, but he had a bike and she was walking, so he assumed that would see her walking among the sidewalk somewhere, but he didn’t.

He kept riding, Bill catching up to him fast. As always, silver was faster than anyone or anything could possibly be. He looked around street after street, hoping that she had kept going straight forward, towards the park.

Bev mentioned going to look for her at her apartment, but the losers realized that that was a long shot. She was never inside Bev’s apartment alone when he father was coming home, which around the time it was now. So they kept up on their way, riding until they saw the beginning of the park. Stan’s mind was racing a thousand miles a minute. The days events were catching up too him, and he felt exhausted. He was nearly killed, saw a killer clown, had to watch one of his best friends be dragged away by his mom, and to top it all off, his other friend claimed to be his daughter.

As they came closer, they saw that the jacket Emily had been wearing was draped over a bench. There were barely people there, only a little old lady who was walking her dog, but she was just about to leave.

They stopped at the entrance, Stan putting his bike away nicely on the side, while the rest of the losers dropped theirs down on the ground without a second thought. Stan rolled his eyes, how silver was still going after all the reckless things Bill had done with it.

‘W-w-we should s-s-split u-u-up’, Bill declared, looking around the group for conformation.

‘Are you kidding me? Splitting up would be dumb Big Bill, Eddie broke his arm today. If we split up we’re basically clown food.’ Richie said.

‘Well, Emily is not going to show herself if we’re all in group, I think Bill’s right. We have more chance to find her if we split up,’ Mike agreed.

‘Fine’, Richie huffed out, but he looked to Stan, as if to see if Stan would agree before doing anything. Stan too nodded; ‘they’re right, Rich’. And so the losers split up. The park itself wasn’t all that big, and most of it was an open space, but there were a handful of places that Emily could have hidden, so the losers elected to search for her there.

Stan walked towards the eastside of the park, before he heard a whisper of his name, so close by that it was as if someone has whispered it right beside him. He turned quickly with a gasp, but saw no one behind him, so he kept walking. Not even a second later he heard the sound again, but when he turned once more there was nobody. He’s gaze was pulled towards the trees towards the west side of the park, for no particular reason. The trees didn’t look any different, yet Stan still felt compelled to change his path. He heard his friends call out towards Emily, but he paid no attention to them. He didn’t know why he was walking towards the closed area, but it was like he didn’t have any control of his legs anymore. His own voice called out, ‘Emily’, but he barely noticed it, even if it was his own voice.

When he reached the tree, he looked back towards his friends, but a giant tree was in the way, and he couldn’t see his friends anymore, and he was sure they couldn’t see him anymore. Suddenly, it felt like Stan’s brain shot in action again. He realized that he had just walked away from the losers, causing him to be alone and vulnerable. Panic gripped around his heart like a vice, causing his breathing to speed up.

He had just made the decision to go back towards the open field, when he heard a small; ‘help’, coming from deeper in the woods. He was torn between going to get the others, or finding the person that called for help as fast as possible. Even if it was Emily, he didn’t want anything to happen to the girl. A loud ‘help’, called out but it sounded closer somehow, as if the person was teetering closer. Stan stepped forward against his common sense just a few steps, trying to find the person in danger.

The person screamed loud appearing in front of Stan behind a bush, scaring him half to death. In a panic Stan threw himself backwards, stumbling over a tree trunk and tottering to the ground. Stan scrambled back up fast, wincing at the dirt that was on his clothes, before looking up to who was in front of him. It was a little girl, her hair in pony tales, with a blue dress and black sneakers, crying and reaching out for him. Stan cringed, really didn’t like strangers, but he felt bad for this little girl, so he reached his arms out and lifted her up. ‘Are you okay’? He asked her, trying to keep his voice light. The little girl sniffled in his arms, ‘where did you go daddy? I need you, the evil clown took me.’ Stan froze, he instantly dropped the little girl, not thinking about his wellbeing at all. He stepped backwards, until his back hit a tree. The little girl was still sniffing, but it seemed like a grin was taking over her features.

Stan looked into her eyes and with a gasp, he saw his own eyes reflected there. He shook his head angrily, he wasn’t going to let Pennywise in his head. He was just taking advantage of Emily’s statement, but Stan couldn’t shake the feeling of dread away. He continued to stare at the little girl, trying to call out to his friends, but only a wheezing as his throat closed up.

‘Daddy, I missed you. Why don’t you love me? Do you hate me?’ The little girl took another few steps towards Stan. It seemed that all logic flew out the window, as Stan tried to disappear into the tree instead of just running around it.

The little girl changed appearance, and suddenly Emily stood before him. It was clear that the little girl had also been Emily, only younger. ‘Because I hate you too daddy,’ Stan cringed at the words, ‘when you killed yourself, I was so mad. You never really loved me did you daddy? You’re a coward. IT should have picked you off when it had the change, it’s not like anything was gained from your life. You caused me and mom so much pain, I wish you had left when I was little, then you wouldn’t have hurt me or mom.’

Stan’s face paled, all the color draining from his cheeks. His hands were trembling as they wiped down his pants. ‘You’re lying’, Stan’s uttered, his voice sounding shaky even to himself.

‘You’ll never be anything, you should just kill yourself now, save you a lot of trouble.’ IT Emily leaned in close to Stan, changing back into the clown that had broken Eddie’s arm mere hours ago. ‘You couldn’t keep her away from me in 27 years, and you couldn’t keep me from her now.’ IT whispered into Stan’s ear, who could do nothing but let out a pity full whimper. What was Ben taking so long? As if Ben heard his thoughts, Ben walked into Stan’s line of sight. Ben screamed as he saw IT hunched over Stan, alerting the others of IT’s presence.

IT vanished as fast as he had come, IT’s hands falling from Stan’s neck. Stan fell to the ground, his breath coming in gasps, Ben ran to him, and he could hear Bev, Richie, Mike and Bill running towards them too. Ben pulled Stan towards his chest as he started sobbing.

‘Stan, Stan are you okay?’ Bev asked him placing a hand on his shoulder.

‘IT’, Stan rasped. He looked up to see his friends looking at him confused. ‘IT has her.’

#stanley uris x daughter #x daughter #stanley uris imagine #ben hanscom #richie tozier x reader #richie tozier imagine #eddie kaspbrak x reader #bill denbrough imagines #mike hanlon imagine #beverly march imagine #My writing #it chapter two imagine #it chapter 2

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katjacksonbooks · 4 years

Photo

Ummm, I started this romance last year at some point and then put it away, as I often do. But now that the world feels super bleak (super SUPER bleak? what’s the scale for everything sucks and I hate it all?) I’ve decided to add this story to my list of things I want to finish soon-ish. (I mean, it’s me tho, so what does soon even mean?)

Anyway, if you want to read a preview of Alien Escape (erotic ffm) and meet Drea, a girl with big dreams and a plan to get as far away from her toxic parents as she can, read on!

CW: allusions to domestic violence and emotional abuse

Also, if you’re wondering if I really have face inspiration for an alien couple, the answer is yes. I do! Y’all should watch Star Trek: Discovery!

Prologue

“Shut up!”

“You shut up! All you do is come in here and whine like a baby until you get your way.”

“When have I ever gotten my damn way in this fucking house? I work my fingers to the bone—”

“Where? When? Doing what?”

“Oh, fuck you! Someone’s gotta keep food on the table in this damn place—”

That’s about when I tune them out. My parents have the same fight every three to four days, like clockwork. It’s not really about anything, or not about anything specific; they just like to fight and really dislike each other. Mom hates living in Ohio, and she’ll never forgive dad for moving us out here. Dad hates living in Ohio too, but he refuses to admit that this was ever his idea. Money’s tight. There’s nothing to do. Neither of them can keep a job. Somehow, this is all my fault.

Different day, same bullshit, and why I don’t bother listening.

We all learn things from our parents, and mine taught me early and often that we all have lots of times in our lives when we can make decisions to not stay with people we barely know and can’t stand. My parents had more roads to escape than most.

My life as I know it might never have happened if their casual fling — without birth control, because dad didn’t believe in it — hadn’t turned into an unexpected, but obviously expected, pregnancy. That could have been a wakeup call, followed by a visit to a Planned Parenthood and an important life lesson learned, except mom was from a hardcore born-again family and didn’t believe in birth control or abortions. She believed in premarital sex, though, so I’m still trying to make sense of that faith system, but the damage was done. The damage being the mess those two made of my childhood because, even though they could have decided to co-parent or something, they apparently felt compelled to stay together. Why? I’ll never know, and I’m convinced they don’t know, either. My earliest self-realization wasn’t “This fucker took my nose!”, it was “My parents see me as a burden.” Can you imagine? Being barely old enough to sit up without wobbling and knowing, somehow, deep in your bones, that the two people who should love you unconditionally, don’t? It’s not a great life, just in case you need to see it in black and white. To my parents, I was just another mouth to feed, the thing that kept them bound to this person they hated more each day. Their entire relationship and my entire existence were just one bad decision after another, and the soundtrack to my entire life has just been this same argument.

They bickered all over New York in the almost-identical shoebox apartments they could just about afford, during our road trip West and ever since we settled in Akron. They don’t even like each other enough to shake up these knock-down, drag-out fights. Maybe a cheating accusation here, or a “Who ate the last piece of chicken?” there, but other than that, nothing.

The most interesting part of my life was that year just before they finally decided to move to Ohio. Dad had tried to feed me and mom some fairytale about how life would be different here — fewer people, better housing, more trees, less pollution and a stronger family unit. I never believed it, because in each of the yarns he spun, I was still with them — both of them — and there’s no happily ever after with them around; not for me, at least. But mom had been swayed, and next thing I knew, we were in a beat-up Ford truck, the entirety of our belongings packed precariously in the bed and heading West. Surprise of all surprises, none of dad’s stories had been true.

Well, okay, let me be fair. There are technically fewer people in Akron than the Bronx, and the house we’ve been renting since we arrived is bigger than those small New York apartments, but besides that, my parents’ dysfunctional relationship and my shitty life are business as usual.

There were more trees when we got here, but I’m not giving dad credit for that since most of them were cut down about a year after we arrived to make room for the new pipeline running right through our backyard. That’s why the rent’s so cheap.

My parents fight about that, too.

The move wasn’t a Band-Aid to their relationship, and it certainly didn’t make my life better — not that anyone was worried about me — and as far as my parents are concerned, every problem in their life is my fault. They fight about it regularly and then circle right back around to being united against me, and that’s why as soon as mom banged the pot of spaghetti on the kitchen table, I scarfed down my portion and excused myself immediately.

Their problems aren’t my fault, I know that, but there’s no reasoning with them. It’s best to just disappear. I headed upstairs to my room with a mumbled “homework” and waited. Once I heard them start sniping at one another, I did what I always do and climbed up to the attic and out onto the roof. This is the only place where I feel safe, emotionally, if not physically. If I’m being honest, I really shouldn’t be up here. It’s slippery, and a bunch of the tiles are a good gust of wind away from falling off, but if my choices are inside my parents’ house and up here, the roof wins every time.

Out here, there’s enough space to escape my parents’ incessant fighting. The late spring air is a marked change from the stifling, probably not-quite-safe gas heat in our house. On a clear night, I can stand on the eastern edge of the roof and see all the way downtown, not that there’s much to see there. I mean, I can see the marquis of the Burger King where I work, but I’m not interested in that, so I usually look in the opposite direction. There’s not much to see there either, just a few farmhouses surrounded by large fields and the pipeline.

But I’m not looking at any of that. I put my earbuds in my ears, turn my music up as loud as it goes and lay back on the roof to stare at the clear, dark blue sky. Sometimes, I haul my sketch book up here to draw, or pull my old astronomy textbook out and try to identify the constellations, but whatever I do, I say a prayer that my singular wish will come true. All I want is to get as far away from my parents as fast as I can.

My classmates are preparing for college, and lots of them want to enlist, but my only real goal post-graduation is to get away. I’ve worked out any number of escape routes up here. Instinctually, I know that I can’t just move to Columbus or Detroit. Those cities aren’t far enough away, and I’ve long been worried that my parents’ obvious co-dependency means that I need to put some serious miles between us if I want to have a chance at real freedom.

I toyed with the idea of leaving the country, but Burger King money doesn’t stretch nearly that far. Right now, I’m making just enough to give my parents one of my checks a month to help with household bills — and keep them off my back — and split the second between my cellphone bill and savings account. After three years, I have enough money saved to absolutely get the fuck out of Akron in exactly six months on my eighteenth birthday, and I plan to do exactly that, but I’m still working out the kinks in my escape route.

I’ve done the math, and I can either buy a decent used car or a plane ticket to California. Every time my dad comes home and tells mom that his paycheck was docked for calling in or mom hides yet another online delivery from dad, I’m tempted to go for the plane ticket, but I usually talk myself down from that impulse because I’m sensible, unlike my parents. Even though the thousands of miles away from here is attractive as fuck, I know that once I get off that plane, I’ll be broke as hell.

On the other hand, the rusty Honda Civic I have my eye on at the used car dealership downtown is sensible. It has less than 100,000 miles, good mileage, and if push came to shove, it could double as a temporary home. It wouldn’t be a six-hour plane ride to California, but I’ve got enough money that I could put some real distance between my parents and myself and have enough to really start the rest of my life.

But when I’m up on the roof, I also have another secret fantasy. It’s not real, but when my parents are really loud, and I worry that the yelling and crashing might turn to the sound of fists hitting skin and bone, I dream of space. Forget California or Tokyo, I wish I could go to the moon or beyond. There’s a tiny, terrified girl inside me that knows in her bones that the only way to really escape my parents is up above me. Sometimes, I lay back on the roof and imagine what it would be like to know that I was far enough away that I’d never have to hear my parents wake me up arguing again. It’ll never happen, but some nights, daydreams of flying up into the sky are the only things that make me feel safe enough to fall asleep. But just like with San Francisco, I bury that deep inside myself and calculate how many shifts I need to work to have the full price of the used Honda. The sky is my fantasy, just like Ohio had been my parents’, but that Honda Civic is the real path to freedom.

The sound of glass breaking hits my ears in the quiet between two songs, and I jump at the shock of it. I tap my cellphone screen to pause my music. I pull the earbud from my left ear and listen, trying to figure out which part of the argument they’re at now.

“Do you feel better?” dad yells at mom.

I roll my eyes, shove my earphone back into my ear and press play on the music again.

Mom likes to break dishes when she’s really frustrated but trying to hold it together; it’s why the few dishes we have don’t match. I suspect she’s gonna drag me to the Goodwill tomorrow to look for a replacement for whatever she’s broken, and I can’t have that. I pick up my phone and tap out a quick text message to my boss, Peter. In a plea that he’s very familiar with, I tell him that I’m available to cover any shifts tomorrow. Peter’s a good guy, and I know that he’ll do what he can to get me a shift, even if it’s just a few hours or closing. I’ll take it, and he knows I will. I’ll also immediately put whatever extra money I get directly into my savings account and readjust my timetable to purchasing the Honda and getting the fuck out of here.

The music builds to a crescendo and mercifully drowns out my parents’ screaming as I look back up at the sky.

On nights like tonight, the moon is so clear and big that I swear it’s close enough to touch. I stretch out my right arm above me, squint one eye closed, tilt my head to the left and pretend to capture the moon between my thumb and forefinger. I smile for the first time in what feels like hours, maybe even days.

And then I see it.

While I’m looking, a small speck in the sky moves across my vision, only visible because it passes the light of the full moon. At first, I think it’s a distant star, or maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me. I blink, and something in the sky moves again. Whatever’s up there, it’s too far away to see clearly, so I sit up, trying to make sense of it all. It’s moving too slow to be a shooting star and too fast to be…well, literally anything else. I pull my earphones from my ears, as if it will sharpen my vision. I stare up at the speck that’s now bigger, closer; close enough for me to realize that the one speck is actually a cluster of distant lights. I’m not looking at a star or a planet but a constellation that’s moving in formation towards me. Toward the Earth.

But that’s not possible. I know that. I aced astronomy.

“What the fuck?” I whisper to myself.

As if in answer to my whispered question, those bright not-stars seem to move faster and get bigger in the large pane of sky above my house as they get closer. The lights seem to fill the sky of this boring ass town with a pipeline running through it dangerously close to the local drinking water; this town my parents hate that I can’t wait to escape.

I shake my head and turn to the right. My eyes land on the pipeline cutting through the fields behind our house. I can barely remember a time when it wasn’t the first thing I saw when I woke up in the morning. I’ve read dozens of articles about what it is and how much time it’s probably shaving off of my life. I guess the environmentalists were right and assume that thing must finally be leaking. It has to be. Because how else do I explain what I think I’m seeing in the sky?

And when I tilt my head back to look up there, I gasp and jump to my feet.

In the handful of seconds when I’d been looking away, those not-stars seem to have come closer. Like real close. Now they’re so close that no one can mistake them for stars because no stars have ever been so damn clear in the sky or moved so fast. I watch as they get closer and closer, and then I shriek in shock as the constellation breaks apart.

If I’m hallucinating this, whatever the pipeline is leaking is grade-A lethal shit.

The lights disperse so fast that I actually miss it. One second, there’s a cluster of lights heading toward me, too many for me to count clearly. The next second, I blink. Then the next second, there are only five lights still above me, but I can see turquoise blue light streaks in the sky heading in thousands of different directions. And then in another second, those five lights begin to slowly move apart, still descending, closer to the Earth’s surface. They’re landing, I realize, and my mouth falls open.

“Fuck,” I breathe as my mouth curves into a smile so wide it hurts.

Now that there are fewer lights and they’re even closer than before, I can just about recognize what’s hovering in the sky above me. They’re ships, and not space shuttles like the ones I’ve seen in my social studies textbooks about the moon landing. These not-stars are huge, bigger than the biggest plane I’ve ever seen in the sky, maybe even bigger than the entire town, and they’re not US-made shuttles or like anything I’ve seen of Russian or Chinese ships. These big, hovering ships look like they’re covered in shimmering jewels, glittering as if reflecting their own sunlight. “Fuck,” I breathe again.

“Drea, are you up there? Girl, get off the fucking roof, we can’t afford no emergency room visit. Do you hear me?”

I hear my dad yelling at me. I do. I just don’t give a shit, because there’s an alien spaceship in the sky almost directly above our house — an actual fucking spaceship — and this is infinitely more interesting than him reaming me out for being on the roof again. Besides, I hear the moment when he sees what I’m seeing and stops caring that I might stumble and fall off the roof. I hear the choked gasp that comes from his lips just before my mom bangs out of the front door, still yelling. I hear her words cut off when she sees the ship too, the final confirmation I need that I’m not having a pipeline hallucination, but still, I don’t care.

Because I’m speechless. I know, deep down in my gut, that this ship is going to change everything about the world I’ve ever known, and I can’t help but feel elated. My body feels light, as if I weigh nothing more than my fantasies. I swear I could float up to one of those ships, and that’s exactly what I want to do. I want to bang on the door of a ship and beg them to let me in, because I can feel the surety along every inch of my skin that this ship is going to be my way out. This ship is going to get me as far away from Akron and my parents and that damn pipeline as possible.

My mother’s scream is a delayed response to seeing the impossible, and it rips into the quiet night. She keeps screaming and screaming, but dad and I are too mesmerized to stop her. Eventually, I hear our neighbors begin to file out of their houses, probably when they realize that mom’s screams are different from their regular weekday fights. I hear them gasp and cry out. Babies are crying, and other people’s screaming joins mom’s. There’s even the sound of the hurricane warning blaring out eventually, but none of those noises seem to touch me; not anymore. It’s like they’re far away because I’m already gone.

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babyatm1 · 4 years

Text

What Makes A Will Legal?

Residential Property You Should Not Include In Your Will

Content

If You Don'T Wish To Use A Lawyer

Indication Your Will In Front Of Witnesses.

To Determine Who Will Care For Your Minor Children

Secret Files To Have Together With Your Last Will As Well As Testament.

When Should You Obtain Legal Guidance To Compose Your Will?

Making Older Individuals'S Voices Heard.

Total An Inheritance Tax Type.

Using A Lawyer To Compose Your Will

What Is Probate?

A simple will is a basic will without any expensive stipulations or stipulations. You can state just how you want your stuff distributed and also that obtains it.

If You Don'T Intend To Utilize A Lawyer

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Please keep in mind the table is sorted by Celebrity Rating adhered to by supplier name and also attributes web links straight to the carrier's website. Usage Canstar's life insurance policy contrast selector to watch a broader variety of policies.

Are online wills legal UK?

In order for a Will to be legally valid in England and Wales, you must sign your Will in the presence of two witnesses, and your witnesses must witness (sign) your Will in your presence; and this cannot be done online. clicking here 'll always need a physical document to be signed and witnessed.

Since Buddhists also turn down agenthood, the standard compatibilist methods are closed to them also. Rather, the Buddhist thoughtful approach is to take a look at the metaphysics of origin. Old India had several warmed arguments concerning the nature of causality with Jains, Nyayists, Samkhyists, Cārvākans, and Buddhists all taking somewhat various lines. In numerous ways, the Buddhist placement is more detailed to a concept of "conditionality" than a theory of "origin", particularly as it is stated by Nagarjuna in the Mūlamadhyamakakārikā.

Who should keep the original Will UK?

1. Leave it with a solicitor. If a solicitor writes your will, they will usually store the original free of charge and give you a copy – but ask them to make sure. Most solicitors will also store a will they didn't write, but there will probably be a fee.

Your will doesn't have to be a time-sucking frustration to create. You can make use of a simple will to describe who gets your things and also who deals with your kids if you die.

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Check in to get going By checking in, I am signing up for get Canstar's Rate Checker e-mails as well as Home Loans e-newsletter. Specify-- for example, do not simply leave everything to 'my spouse'-- utilize your better half's complete name. The basic message is-- just utilize a Do It Yourself will if your desires are really straightforward and also your financial circumstance isn't complicated. If you live with your partner, yet are neither married nor in a civil collaboration, you might wish to take into consideration creating a common-law marriage agreement in addition to writing a will. While a will establishes what takes place to your possessions as well as items when you pass away, a common-law marriage agreement define what happens if your partnership breaks down-- so a bit like a will for the living.

That's because the enduring partner can not transform a joint will also after the death of their partner. So if an enduring partner remarries and also has a stepchild, they can't leave anything in the joint will to that stepchild. To learn more concerning making a will-- and to see every little thing Nolo has to use when it pertains to intending your estate-- visit our Wills, Trusts & Probate Center. Tell your administrator where your will is as well as how to obtain accessibility to it when the moment comes.

You will be asked to leave a gift for the Stroke Association in your will, but the decision is your own. The Stroke Association uses a complimentary simple will to over-60s or stroke survivors that are 18+.

TheCancer Study UKFree Will Service enables over-18s to obtain a cost-free simple will. Please keep in mind that which of the above charities is funding the system relies on your place. However, you can select to leave gifts to any type of charity you such as. You are under no commitment to leave a present (known as a 'legacy') to among the Free Wills Month charities.

If you are seeking to change an existing life insurance plan, you need to consider your personal scenarios, consisting of continuing the existing cover until the replacement policy is provided and also cover confirmed. Your existing policy might have various features to products presently in the marketplace. Please consider what functions are ideal for you when comparing insurance items as well as refer to the supplier for additional information on a policy. If you decide to look for Life insurance policy, you will deal directly with an insurance policy supplier, and not with Canstar.

Indicator Your Will Before Witnesses.

Since your will is full, allow your successors and also administrator know you have created a will and also where you are keeping it so that they can access it after your fatality. If you are married or have kids that are alive, checklist the names of your spouse and children and also your marriage day. You can produce your will either as a published computer record or handwrite it. Phone number the pages of the file (1 of 3, 2 of 3, 3 of 3, etc.) to ensure that it is clear the amount of web pages there are. While a lawyer can be very practical, you can produce a will yourself if you favor.

If your children are minors, decide that you wish to increase them in the extremely unlikely occasion that you as well as their various other moms and dad can't. Every will have to name someone to work as executor, to execute the regards to the will. Be sure that the person you desire agrees to offer-- the task should not come as a shock. Here are minority simple actions you need to take to make your will.

You can also pick the person who will ensure your will is executed as well as name a guardian for your kids if something takes place to you. And also you can even name the individual you intend to care for your favorite ferret.

If this intuitive photo became incorrect, after that presumably that we can not legitimately be held ethically in charge of our actions. Besides, if I do not have free will in a feeling that involves alternate possibilities, after that I have to pick what I really pick. And also if I have to choose what I perform in reality select, then probably I am compelled so to select, and can not rather be considered morally responsible for my selection. It is extremely possible, after that, to accept something like the "Concept of Different Possibilities", according to which a representative is morally responsible for an action only if he could have done otherwise. If is true, then moral duty needs free choice; and if causal determinism dismiss such different opportunities, it would therefore dismiss ethical obligation.

Credit scores solutions for Aussie Elevate items are provided by AHL Investments Pty Ltd ACN Australian Credit Score Permit (" Aussie") and also its appointed credit rating representatives. Credit history and also any applicable balanced out make up Aussie Elevate are issued by Bendigo and Adelaide Financial Institution Limited ABN AFSL/ Australian Credit Permit. ASIC mentions the general public Trustee could not credit make your will if you are aged older than 60 or choose the Public Trustee to be your administrator. You may want to check with the Public Trustee in your state or area to recognize the needs that relate to making a will where you live. If you're contrasting life insurance policies, the contrast table listed below screens some of the policies currently readily available on Canstar's data source for a years of age non-smoking male working in a professional line of work.

However, many individuals do not maintain a recurring connection with a lawyer, as well as it is common for attorneys to dissolve law office and also create brand-new ones, so it might be challenging for your executor to find the will when the demand occurs.

Because your administrator is somebody you depend on, no person else needs to recognize the components of the will or that it also exists.

Also, if you relocate some range away from where your lawyer methods, it would be more difficult for your administrator to acquire the will.

Usually, the best location to save your will is with your executor.

Your lawyer may keep the original-- often for a nominal fee.

Such on the internet archives may be a good location to save information for an administrator, nevertheless, a court of probate might not accept a published duplicate from such a digital will vault when an initial is required.

In order to satisfy your duties as the administrator of an estate, you must first be approved the authority via a letter of testamentary.

If you do not recognize who that is or if you are uncomfortable approaching them, you can look the probate court documents in the area where the deceased person lived.

There are firms offering on the internet storage space of documents as well as individual info.

In Buddhism it is shown that the concept of absolute liberty of option is ill-advised, since it denies the reality of one's physical needs as well as situations. Just as wrong is the concept that people have no option in life or that their lives are pre-determined. To reject flexibility would be to reject the initiatives of Buddhists to make moral progress. Pubbekatahetuvada, the idea that all happiness as well as experiencing emerge from previous activities, is thought about an incorrect sight according to Buddhist teachings.

To Identify That Will Look After Your Minor Children

Credit scores services for Aussie Select, Aussie Activate and also Aussie Elevate products are given by AHL Investments Pty Ltd ACN (" Aussie") and also its appointed credit report reps, Australian Credit score Licence. Credit Rating for Aussie Select items is supplied by Residential Home mortgage Team Pty Ltd ACN, Australian Debt Permit (" RMG"). RMG is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Commonwealth Bank of Australia ABN AFSL and Australian Credit Report Licence. Credit Score for Aussie Activate products is provided by Pepper Finance Corporation Limited ACN (" Pepper"). Pepper Group Limited ACN, Australian Credit report Permit acts upon behalf of Pepper.

How much does an attorney charge to draw up a will?

Flat Fees. It's very common for a lawyer to charge a flat fee to write a will and other basic estate planning documents. The low end for a simple lawyer-drafted will is around $300. A price of closer to $1,000 is more common, and it's not unusual to find a $1,200 price tag.

The trick is recognizing your state's details needs and also making certain your will meets them. It's additionally possible to create a will that serves in every state so that you avoid any possible problems.

Trick Files To Have Alongside Your Last Will And Testimony.

How much money before probate is required UK?

It's generally considered that if everything the deceased person owned is worth less than £15,000 Probate won't be needed, but this isn't true in every situation. This is because each financial institution has their own limit that determines whether or not Probate is needed. This ranges from £5,000 to £50,000.

When Should You Get Lawful Recommendations To Draft Your Will?

signed by the proprietor of the will and be seen by 2 individuals. " If you utilize an online will package, get it examined by a lawyer or Public Trustee," economic regulatory authority ASIC's Moneysmart.com.au web site states, which adds that a solicitor or Public Trustee are most likely to bill you for doing so.

Nonetheless, there could be different guidelines in various locations of Australia when it involves wills, according to the Australian government's australia.gov.au info portal. The site advises that each person examine the rules that apply in their state or territory prior to beginning any service a will.

Complete An Inheritance Tax Kind.

This advice is basic as well as has not taken into consideration your objectives, monetary situation, or demands. Consider whether this suggestions is best for you, having respect to your very own goals, monetary situation and needs. You might need economic suggestions from a suitably qualified adviser. Consider the product disclosure declaration before making any type of monetary choice. For additional information, readCanstar's Financial Services and also Credit History Overview, and check out ourdetailed disclosure, important notes as well as responsibility disclaimer.

How much do solicitors charge to execute a will UK?

Some probate specialists and solicitors charge an hourly rate while others charge a fee that is a percentage of the value of the estate. This fee is usually calculated as between 1% to 5% of the value of the estate, plus VAT.

Nonetheless, the hope is that many will see this as a chance to aid their preferred cause. The advocate of PAP believes that the lack of the flexibility to choose or else does not by itself explain the lack of moral duty. see this page is because he thinks that when this absence acquires, its getting is itself discussed by, and can only be described by, the event of causal determinism in the actual series of events. The Concept of Alternate Possibilities and also the Frankfurt-type Instances. As I recommended above, we normally think that the future is a garden of forking courses-- that we a minimum of at some essential points in our lives have more than one path branching into the future.

It's after that inspected by a Farewill will specialist, who'll send you a web link to download your finished will, which you'll need to print, sign and also have actually observed. As soon as you more than happy and have actually authorized it, Co-op shops your will. As soon as you have actually done what you can, you'll obtain a follow-up phone call from a specialist will writer. You make use of an on-line layout, which is after that examined by Co-op Legal Solutions.

What To Expect From Your Lawyer

As soon as this impression is revealed, one's initial conviction that the absence of an alternate choice is sufficient for the lack of ethical duty is vindicated. There can be two various ways in which some variable makes a representative unable to select or do or else. In one way, the factor does not play a role in the actual sequence; it does not flow with the real program of occasions. In one more means, the element does move through the actual series.

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mycurrentobsessionis · 5 years

Text

Mom plays Keeper of the Sun and Moon

SPOILER

Chapter 1

“Snake woman lunges--OH FUCK NO! I guess I’ll distract this bitch.”

“‘Are you awake?’ Bitch, do I look awake?!”

“I distracted some fucking snake with light or something.”

“Uhhhh, what the fuck is my name? OK, the cat wants me to be named Clara, we’ll go with that.”

“’What am I??’ The fuck are you?!?!? That’s rude as shit. You better not be some fucking snake.”

(about Astrid) “Compel me? Oh, fuck you. Don’t turn your back, bitch.”

“Maybe if I play dumb, they won’t scramble my brains. I ain’t cooperating, though.”

“You can’t go fuckin’ around not knowing about snake people.”

“What is this, the cool dad agent? Fuck you, too.”

“Well, no shit, I’m not from here! A snake tried to eat me, and now I’m in the middle of this magic shit, and you all suck at it! Even Agent Cool Dad.”

(about Astrid) “I don’t have time for this dramatic-ass bitch. Only got time for one dramatic-ass bitch in my life, and I’m it.”

(About Castella) “‘Leaving no room for argument,’ bitch, there is plenty room to keep you here--Oh, now you gonna charge me tuition, I don’t even fucking think so.”

“You want me to do PAPERWORK?!?! You are out of your goddamn mind, lady!”

(About Cressida) “Anyone who wants that much power doesn’t deserve it.”

“I don’t trust Astrid.”

“Cruel, 53%--YES!” *fist pump*

“What the fuck is Nephilim? I ain’t hangin’ out with no angelic-ass motherfuckers. ‘What species are you?’ This sounds like some racist-ass shit.”

(about Yakov) “Why the fuck are the two newbies here? You got the kid who just learned about this shit and the foreign kid here.”

Chapter 2

“I ain’t eating any tentacle casserole.”

“‘Astrid is indignant on your behalf...’ OK. OK, I guess I’m team Astrid. I’m not going to the meeting. We’re going to play hooky.”

(about Magi in general) “These trick-ass bitches.”

“Ha ha, told y’all bitches I was human.”

“I don’t want to know about these weird-ass bitches--wait, no, tell me about Yakov. A wraith, what the fuck? This guy has shit gossip.”

“Let’s go gothic.”

(about random man in yellow) “Aw, Jesus, it’s a moving fucking migraine.”

Her: I want the cat’s foot shit.

Me: The creepy shit.

Her: Oh, that’s the creepy shit?

“OH, here’s this bitch Cyrus again!”

*cackling* “Bitch, if I had illegal substances, I wouldn’t tell you.”

(about Leon) “Oh, who’s this dick?”

“Oh ho ho, team Astrid on this one. This guy’s a dick.”

(about Thalia) “Her teeth are sharp? Oh, fuck.”

“I guess so. Ignore shit ‘til it goes away.”

Chapter 3

Me: You straight up went from hating Astrid to pissing everyone off on her behalf.

Her: Whatev.

(about paperwork) “Ah, shit. I’m not filling this out.”

*tries to leave campus* “Ah, shit, that crazy old bat caught me?”

“I’m not interested in Yakov. Ghost boy is hella weird.”

“Only people I like are Thalia and Astrid. And Yakov just a tiny bit.”

“Wait, wtf, did something just attack me again? Kick it in the face.”

“Now the fuckin’ police show up--spectators?? None of you motherfuckers helped a bunch of teenagers getting their asses kicked?”

(on train) “I’ll talk to Thalia. Leon’s a dick and Kol’s weird.”

(about Jaime) “That’s that mofo who showed up after the dogs attacked. Imma do some amateur sleuthing. (Me: he wears sunglasses, like, all the time) So he’s Cory Hart.”

Chapter 4

Me: Please don’t be mean to Kol. He’s an orphan.

Her: Ugh, fine, but this is the only time I let you influence my decision not to tell someone to fuck off.

(about the professors) “Oh, god.”

(about Ebner) “Oh, this guy sounds like a dick.”

“I’m going to learn magic so I can fuck up those dogs.”

(about Cyrus) “I think he needs to take a shit and calm down.”

“Who the fuck is Altair? (”You’ve ticked him off, like, 3 times already.”) Have I?”

“Haha! I’m human, brand-new, and I have to help the supernatural with his homework!”

“Either be the ass-kicker or the kicked ass.”

Chapter 5

(about starbursts) “Magic disco balls.”

“We’re grouped by suite? Oh, we’re fucked already.”

*sadly* “I just killed a gnome? Why didn’t you tell me this could happen?”

*snorts* “Punch it. *pause* Oh, shit. I got hurt.”

(about Seraphina) “You aren’t allowed to apologize on my behalf. You are on notice to never apologize for my ass because I am not sorry.”

“Care to explain, Leon, you fuckin’ trick-ass bitch.”

(about book thief) “They killed that motherfucker for stealing their Sweet Valley High collection? Was it the vintage cover? Seems like overkill otherwise.”

Chapter 6

“Ahh, snakes!”

(about father) “’You’re late.’ Dude, that’s the first thing you say to me after I disappear mysteriously for months? Seriously? Dad, you’re a douchebag.”

(staying back from fair) “It’s sleuth time.”

“Does this keeper shit have anything to do with the name of the game?”

Chapter 8

“Prepare for the oral presentation, because even if I flunk the exam, I don’t want to look like a dumbass in front of the rest of the class.”

(about Leon) “I’m going to intervene because even if I don’t like him, I don’t want to see him get attacked by some asshole sneaking into his dreams.”

“Nothing’s secure if someone wants it...Except for me in this fucking school.”

“Good sleuthing means lying well.”

“Motherfucker. Another goddamn hellhound.”

Chapter 9

“Got a chocolate egg...fire truffles...and that’s it. LOL.”

(about Cressida) “What a trick-ass bitch.”

“Why would you give Seraphina something on fire on the anniversary of the day her family was killed by fire? How insensitive can you get?”

“Ah man, now I’m hungry.”

“Child murder is wrong. Everything else is relative.”

“Oh, good, Cressida left.”

(about ice skating) “Oh, Leon hates this so much. I’m so glad I made this choice.”

Me: You don’t want to enter the tournament?

Her: I draw pictures, Hannah.

(about Leon) “Aww, poor baby didn’t get what you wanted.”

(about Cyrus) “I think it’s him. He’s the weak link.”

“No way in hell am I going to wear an outfit from Leon.”

“Yeah, be downcast, Kol, you weirdo.”

“I’m just generally unpleasant to everyone.”

(about dragon made of shadows) “Oh, I’m definitely about to punch this in the face.”

Chapter 10

“Oh, Leon, I don’t think anyone in this group actually likes you. We literally had a group laugh at you and decided to make it a tradition.”

(about Jarrod and Thalia) “I’ve found my people.”

“Oh, good, we’re at a seedy motel.”

“My stats still say I’m not cruel. This is a personal failing.”

“Why can’t I see the door? (”It’s Ebner.”) Ah, this motherfucker.”

(about Cressida) “Why am I talking to this bitch? Oh, right, ‘cuz she has the gossip.”

(about Yakov and Seraphina) “Oh, they cut me. I will remember this shit.”

Chapter 11

“Did I get cruelty for the mouse? It was a school activity. Not like I dissected it.”

“Oh, great. Math.”

(upon seeing the name Alexa in the Constellation project) “Imma fuck them up.”

Her: Romantic pursuits?

Me: None of the guys like you anyway.

Her: *cackling*

Chapter 12

“How does this shit not leak when I work at a media outlet? (”You’d have to leak it.”) And do you know what that would do for my career?”

(about Leon) “Don’t steal fries or pancakes, you’ll get fucked up.”

My brother: What do you teach at a magic college?

Me: Calculus.

Him: I guess you always need calculus.

Mom: *disgusted face*

“Jaime tried to pull compulsion out on me.”

“I was adopted, what?!”

Her: If I’m half elemental, why don’t I have powers? I should have fucking powers!

Me: You chose not to have any.

Her: Oh, yeah, that’s right.

“We lost Kol. How did that happen? How did nobody notice--we’re walking through a dark scary forest, and nobody noticed this motherfucker just bounced?”

“Anti-magic cuffs? I’m human, bitches. Won’t work on me! Imma draw a picture!”

“Wait, I’m here to do a ritual? Fuck y’all.”

(Jaime dies) *shrugs* “Dude kinda deserved it.”

“Wait, is Kol dead for realsies? (”No.”) Oh, OK.”

Chapter 13

“Seraphina just has these powerful ass artifacts on her bed? Girl, I hope you invested in some good locks!”

(about more hellhounds) “Ohhh shit. Punching time.”

“What are my punching stats?”

Epilogue

“I’m like a test tube baby.”

#kotsam #mom plays keeper #disclaimer: she had fun

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toomuchtv95 · 6 years

Text

We Vowed Forever

Characters: Klaus Mikeealson x Reader, Hope Michaelson, Other Original Characters

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None that I can think of

Summary: I suck at summaries. So, just read it lol

AN: Excuse any major grammar mistakes hopefully Grammarly caught most of them.

Masterlist Mobile Masterlist

“Why is it that every time I leave you alone you take matters into your own hands?” As you walked into Rousseau’s, you stood a few inches behind Hope. “Let him go.” Klaus glance at you then returned his gaze to Declan. After Klaus compelling Declan to forget this ever happened, he left the room and Klaus turned to look at you.

“Go home, Hope.” Klaus refused to even look at Hope and you knew he couldn’t face her because over the last 7yrs he has barely made any contact with her.

“You’re not going to even look at me?” Hope had tears forming in her eyes. You put a hand on her should letting her know that you were here for support. “Mom’s missing dad. And I’m scared.”

“We’re to close. I can hear the voice. I know you can hear the voices as well.” Klaus toke a step backward to keep his distance from his daughter. You looked over at the table and notice the dying flowers.

“Hope, listen to me.” You walked around and stood in front of her. “I promise I will come by the compound and help you in any way I can, okay?” You placed your hands on her upper arms and gave them a light squeeze. “But right now, you need to get out of here.” Hope looked at her father once more in hopes that he would look back, but he didn’t. Hope turned around walked out the door. “You couldn’t even look at your daughter?” You crossed your arms over your chest as Klaus looked up at you.

“You don’t understand!” Klaus raised his voice with anger.

“Well then make me understand why you can’t even look at your daughter. For 7yrs, you have pushed her away and you know what? It’s showing the effects now.” You pointed your finger at him with anger. Over the years, Klaus slowly pushed Hope away because he believed it was for the better. You, on the other hand, keep in close contact with Hope with phone calls, letters, and visits back to New Orleans. Without even a word Klaus disappeared which caused you to sigh.

500yrs ago, Klaus had been the one to turn you to save your life. Growing up, your mother had taught you everything you know about magic and everything supernatural related. When you first meet Klaus and his siblings, your mother was not pleased. Your mother despised any kind of monster and believed they were all evil. Your mother had warned you time and time again to stay away from them, but you kept finding your way back to them, especially Klaus. When your mother found you hanging out with Klaus she had enough. She had cursed you to suffer a painful death. Your mother left you to bleed from inside out on the side of a dirt road. That was the moment you thought you were done for, but then your night and shining armor came to you recuse. Once Klaus found you he had feed you his bleed which you then woke up as a vampire. Upon waking up, you had no idea that you would still be a witch. You were the only one of your kind.

Over the last 500yrs, your relationship with Klaus was complicated. The two of you never verbally admitted your feelings towards each other, but you two knew how you felt about each other. Klaus was always afraid to love you because he was scared to hurt you. You were the only witch that Klaus trusted. Klaus didn’t think twice when he called you to help protect his daughter and to move back to New Orleans. You had arrived in New Orleans just in time to save everyone. You were the one who put a cloaking spell on Hope. You were the one that helped Haley raised Hope when Klaus was held captive and the rest of the Mikaelson were under a spell. You were also the one who cured every one of there induvial curses.

The city at night was one of the perks of being back in New Orleans. You leaned over the railing and watched the city below you. The city was picking up after the massive wind storms that came through after the effects of the siblings all being in a distance of each other. At Haley’s funeral at the Bayou, Klaus had shown up to be with Hope and even though it was for a moment, you knew it was what the two needed. You both knew it wasn’t the best idea but as long it wasn’t for a long period there would be no extreme danger. Since arriving in New Orleans things between you and Klaus were tense, because of the way he acts when he angry. You looked down at your left ring finger and fiddled with your wedding ring.

Less than a few hours ago, you put under some sort of sleeping spell while the rest of the Mikaelson’s were under a Chambre de Chasse. When you had found out that Freya was the one who put the Mikaelson’s under, you had tried to stop her but she had put you under a sleeping curse. She had linked you to Klaus, which means that if Klaus was under a spell so were you and when he woke up so did you. As you were under the spell, you had recalled every single memory that both you and Klaus shared.

Flashback #1

“Why don’t you just kill me and take me out of m misery.” Sometime yesterday, Lucien had kidnapped you to get a message to Klaus. He had grabbed you from behind and snapped your neck and then slowly drained your blood and injected you with vervain to make you weak enough not to use your abilities as a vampire and witch. You had managed to escape Lucien’s men who were watching you, but as you were fleeing you yet again got your neck snapped. As you came around, you had noticed that you were laying on the floor weak at St. Anne’s Church.

“Now why would I do that?” Slowly sitting up, you tried to use your magic but you were too weak. “I want Nic to know that you are in the way.”

“And what makes you think he cares anything about me?” Aurora grabbed you by the neck and lifted you up.

“She’s right. Why would I care anything about her?” Flickering your eyes up towards Klaus who was standing there with his hands behind his back. “For 500yrs, she’s been in the way.” Ouch. That hurt. You know it was all for show but hearing him saying it still hurt.

“Then why keep her around? Maybe because you love her.” Aurora tightens her grip around your neck and you could start to feel the oxygen leaving your lungs.

“You can’t believe that I care anything for her.” Klaus took a slow step forward which Aurora yet again tighten her grip around your neck.

“Oh, but I do. I can see it. The fear in your eyes.” Aurora took a step behind you and dug her finger into your neck which caused you to slightly bleed. “Do you actually love her?”

“You know I love you.” You looked directly at Klaus and without thinking twice you through your head back hitting Aurora in the face. As she let go of you, you fell to the floor hitting your head on the concrete floor causing you to blackout. Coming around for the third time that night, you looked around to see 2 freshly turned vampire who was still in transition and who were looking for something to feed on. The one male looked at you with hunger as he saw the blood on your forehead and your neck.

“Look I know what you guys are going through. But you can’t feed on me.” Grabbing hold of the table, you lifted yourself holding onto the side as you were still weak. The one male started to walk towards you, which caused you to grab the piece of wood that was laying on the ground next to you.

“I’m just so hungry.” The man strode towards you and as he was inches away from you, you plunged the piece of wood right through him causing him to fall right on top of you. After struggling underneath this 200lb, you manage to use the last of your strength to push off him off. Slowly sitting up, you saw the other freshly turned vampire approaching which caused you to groan. At this point in the night, you had no fight left in you.

“Go ahead and fed on me, but I’ll have you know it won’t complete your transition.” Apparently, he didn’t seem to care because he still strode forward, but before he even got far Klaus appeared behind him and snapped his neck.

“Y/N,” Klaus walked over to you and extended his hand. Grabbing his hand, he pulled you up and right into a hug. You held into Klaus as if you were to let go you might not be to get back up. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” You slightly pulling away so that Klaus could see that you were okay. “I’m just thirsty and weak. Lucien drained my blood and then inject vervain into my system.” As those words slipped your lips you could see the anger in his eyes like he wanted to rip both Lucien and Aurora throats out.

“Then let’s get you home.” Klaus scooped you into his arms which you automatically leaned your head against his chest.

Flashback #2

“Marry me.” You had stopped dead center on the sideway and slowly turned to face Klaus.

“What did you just say?” Never in a million years did you think that Klaus would be asking you to marry him. To say, you were confused was an understatement. Last year after the Hollow was separated into the siblings Klaus disappeared without a word. After he disappeared, it was silent for a while up until about 7months ago, when you got word that there was a vampire in Spain going around on a killing spree and you knew exactly who it was. You arrived just in time to stop him from killing any more people. Since arriving in Spain, you have managed to keep Klaus under control. So, for him to ask you to marry him was a shocker, because of the fact that the two of you never really dated.

“I know you heard me.” Of course, you heard him, you were just trying to process those two little words.

“You can’t ask me that and assume that it is going to fix everything.” You raised your hand in the air with frustration. The two of you were yet again in another argument about his actions and you were frustrated. When Klaus was going down a dark path and if Elijah couldn’t pull him back, he would find a way to contact you. Since the moment Klaus had turned you, you had been the one to bring him back if he was in too deep.

“I know it won’t fix everything that I have done to you over the last 5 centuries, but I want to make you happy.” Klaus took a step closer to you, and opened his jacket and pulled out a little black box. Seeing the ring made you realize that this wasn’t a spur of the moment things, he had this planned. “I know I have done horrible things in the past to you, and-”

“I know you never mean to hurt me.” You placed both of your hands on either side of his neck and gave his cheek a light stroke before looking down at the box he had in his hand. “I went to spend forever with you.”

“Thought I would find you out here.” You didn’t bother looking up knowing it was Klaus. Klaus slowly steps out on the balcony and kept a far distance between the two of you. Not only were things tensed with the siblings but there were also tense with the two of you.

“How’s Hope?” Hope had drawn out The Hollow from the four of them and then trapped it back into her. Things right now are very tense at the compound especially with the siblings, so you kept your distance and wandered to the bedroom you and Klaus shared.

“She looks exhausted.” Klaus leaned over the ledge a few inches away from you

“Well, she just took back the Hollow.” You started out not looking at Klaus because at this point you had no idea how he was holding up and you know for a fact that when he was angry he lost control. There was a moment of silence before Klaus finally spoke up.

“I know you don’t always agree with my methods, but that who I am.” Klaus slightly pushing himself away from the railing to look at you in the eyes. “You out of all people should know that.”

“I do know that, but you gotta understand that with your action comes consequences. I’m not saying to change your ways because god knows that not happening. I’m just saying tone down a little.” You took a step closer to Klaus closing the gap between you two then wrapped your arms around his neck.

“So, my actions aren’t driving you away?” Klaus placed his hand on the nape of your neck and pulled you closer to him then he pressed his lips to yours again.

“You know we vowed forever so you can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Well, love I wasn't planning on getting rid of you.” Before you answer, Klaus planted another kiss on your lips, lifted you up bridal style and headed back into the bedroom.

#klaus mikaelson #klaus mikealson imagine #klaus mikealson x reader #the originals #the originals imagine #the originals x reader

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stephenjaymorrisblog · 5 years

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Love In Hell

By Stephen Jay Morris

Monday, February 25, 2019

It was the Summer of ‘69 and I was all of 15 years old. Life, at that point, had become a major exploration trip. I’ve laid out the details of that summer in my manuscript entitled, “Hidden in the Rotunda.” This article focuses on one Monday, that of July 28, 1969.

I went to my first Love In at Griffith Park, which took place at the popular “Merry-Go-Round” area, in 1969. During the Summer of Love, back in 1967, there had been a Love In at this exact location. By that time, the term “Love In” was laughably passé. About 500 people had shown up, clad in their head shop-slash-thrift shop, chic clothing, posing for the news media. The gathering was comprised mostly of art fart types who hadn’t had enough time to grow their hair long. But some of them had long sideburns and the females were sporting Carnaby Street fashions on their svelte, white bodies. Groovy, baby!

A couple of years later—1969—the unwashed masses amassed in this hilly, city park. Not only did the so-called Hippies show up, but there were also Bikers, Chicano gang bangers, homeless people, Krishna devotees, drum circle freaks, Anti War activists, Black Panthers, and New Left activists. It was an outdoor party and it was freaking me out, man! Oh, yes—the pigs (cops) showed up in full riot dress.

I don’t recall how I initially found out about this event. Maybe it was through an ad in the L.A. Free Press, or a friend had told me about it. In any case, I went. It was summer vacation and what better way to spend it than by going to my very first Love In!? I asked my friend, Philip, if he wanted to go, but his parents said “No!” My parents? I just told my mom I was going to visit my friend and I’d be back in time for dinner. What I didn’t tell her was that I’d be with a few thousand friends! My dad, well he couldn’t give a rat’s ass about what I did on vacation. Matter of fact, the longer I stayed out of the house, the happier he was; shit breath didn’t love me at all. Only my mom cared.

It was mild for a summer day; the temperature topped out at 71 degrees. One thing I hated about summer in L.A. was the humidity. It was typically cold in the morning, so you’d end up having to carry your jacket around almost all day. I remember wearing a work shirt that once belonged to my grandfather. In knew my dad resented me for wearing it, but he never said anything. Go figure.

I left my house on Martel Avenue. Looking north to the Hollywood Hills, there was the familiar, brown haze of smog. In the wintertime and early spring, and sometimes in autumn, the view of the hills was crystal clear. Once, a few years earlier, I saw snowcaps on those hills, just after a rainstorm.

I walked eastward down Beverly Boulevard toward La Brea. I was planning to take the public bus to the event, using my student discount card. I wore my Levi’s jeans, a black Tee shirt, and black deck shoes. I’d put on boxer shorts as well, although a lot of “hip kids” didn’t wear underwear. I had my grandfathers work shirt on over my Tee shirt.

Now on weekends, buses kept different schedules than they did on weekdays. They came just once every hour and stopped running at midnight. By then, the oil companies had ruined public transportation in Los Angeles. I waited and waited on the northeast corner of Beverly and La Brea. Four gas stations flanked the intersection: Texaco, Chevron, Exxon, and Gulf. L.A. was indeed a “car town.”

Hitch hiking was the standard “hip” mode of transportation. It was viewed as an expression of collective sharing among your brothers and sisters; just like sharing a jug of wine or a joint. Taken to the extreme, there was the sharing of your boyfriend or girlfriend in the name of “Free Love.” As a rule, I didn’t hitch hike much. Middle-aged perverts who wanted to suck my cock would often pick me up. On the other hand, I didn’t want to wait another hour for a bus, so I stuck out my thumb and hoped for somebody who was heading for the same destination as I was.

Ten minutes later, a 1949 VW Beetle ambled up the street toward me, a trail of smoke behind it. At the time, a lot of young people painted their VW bugs with colorful floral designs and symbols, such as the Peace sign. Well, this little car was a real wreck! It looked like it had been entered into and ejected from a demolition derby. One taillight was cracked, a door was taped up, and the paint was peeling with age. The body was covered in dents.

But, you know what they say: “Beggars can’t be choosers!”

The door opened and the driver asked, “Griffith Park Love In?”

I said, “Yep!”

He jubilantly replied, “Get in!”

A passenger closed the door behind me. The driver looked like a college professor from the 80’s. He was a white guy in his 40’s with shaggy, curly hair and an unshaven face; his specs sat halfway down his nose. The radio was on; a vintage A.M. model with one speaker. It was tuned in to some Top 40s station; a teenybopper song was playing. I think it was “Baby I Love You.” When it ended, the DJ announced loudly, “That was Andy Kim! Going up the charts like a shooting star! Now the news! Headlines: Nixon says 25,000 troops will be withdrawn out of Vietnam in a couple of days!”

What I hated about VW Beetles was that noisy, sputtering engine and the smell of gasoline. I prayed we’d get to our destination soon, before I got asphyxiated! Thank Buddha, somebody lit up a doobie, which effectively covered up the gas odor. Hey, I would have been happy if somebody had simply burned some incense!

Someone from the back seat addressed the driver, “Hey, Dean! Are you going to that Woodstock Arts and Crafts festival?”

He blissfully replied, “Hell, yeah. I’m going!”

I asked, “What’s Woodstock?”

He laughed and answered, “Only the biggest concert in the history of humanity! It is going to be bigger than the Monterey Pop Festival two years ago. I heard the Beatles are showing up!”

Somebody said from the back seat, “I heard the Stones and Dylan are coming, too!”

I asked, “Where is this going to take place?”

“Upstate New York!”

I replied, “Oh.” I thought to myself, ‘They’ll be lucky to get Joni Mitchell to play at an arts and craft festival. Whenever I think of an arts and craft festival, I think of the Renaissance Fair. My dad took the family to that fair once and it reminded me of an outdoor mental institution. No thanks!’

Driving south on Los Feliz Boulevard reminded one of how poor they are. There were these giant mansions built in the 1930’s, worth millions upon millions of dollars! Even the Art Deco apartment buildings looked luxurious.

Finally, upon arriving at the Mulholland Memorial Fountain, I knew we’d arrived at the entrance to Griffith Park. Just a right turn on Crystal Springs Drive and then north to the park.

Today, though, was different. For the first time since I’d driven there with my parents, there was a traffic jam. Lines upon lines of vehicles, of all different shapes and kinds, were backed up to Los Feliz. Those inside were mostly collage-aged kids, smoking grass and banging on tambourines. Crystal Spring Drive was a two-lane road next to the side of a hill, a distance of about a mile and a half to our destination, the Merry-Go-Round. At a grueling 10 miles an hour, it took us about 25 minutes to get there! It was 11:35 a.m.

Only three bands were scheduled to play the Love In. They were “Ace of Cups” (stupid name), “Sons of Chaplin,” and the “Jefferson Airplane.” In December that year, I would see The Airplane perform at Altamont Speedway’s tragically-iconic, free concert in Northern California.

Behind the Merry-Go-Round, there was a small meadow in which hundreds, if not thousands of people, had gathered. An area had been set aside where the band would play; not an elevated stage or platform, just open, flat ground. This area was on an incline, so mostly people who located themselves far from it could see the bands. All of this was set up behind the public bathroom building.

I walked alone among the throngs of smelly Baby Boomers. There were peddlers selling everything—and I mean everything! I came across one member of the Black Panther Party selling his party’s tabloid, “The Black Panther.” I’m glad for that; all of the misinformation I’d been told was dispelled later that night.

Cops were strolling among the crowd. There were some kids walking around butt naked. This was supposed to be for making a political statement. If you’d asked me, I’d have said it was just good old fashioned expositionism! If you’d seen their bodies, you’d have hoped they were arrested! A cop would yell to one nude dude, “Hey! Cover up or you will get busted for indecent exposure!” The lawbreaker quickly tied a shirt around his waist. As soon as the fuzz left the area, he got naked again. It was the same thing with pot, which was still illegal in those days. Some cops would tell a pot smoker, “Put that stuff away or I will have to run you in!” Overall, the cops wanted to avoid any rioting.

The Chicano gangs were drunk on wine and barbiturates, or “Reds.” The Bikers stood by their Harley Davidsons while they got drunk on beer. The more they drank, the more pugnacious they got. Fights broke out everywhere. Ultimately, the event was more like a “hate in” than a Love In. What I could never understand was why Bikers attended every Love In or Antiwar protest if they hated Hippies so much! I suppose it was for the dope and the chicks.

The Hippies were just toking on weed and passing around gallon bottles of Red Mountain wine. Sharing like this was a sure way of getting Hepatitis C. I avoided the ritual as much as possible. The Hippie chicks had this proclivity of dancing by themselves. They looked like blow up dolls in the wind. Alas, everybody was compelled to express themselves in those days. It was a great argument for Fascism.

Oh, there was music…sort of…kind of. Two bands were playing your generic twelve-bar blues. Then came the Airplane. But, every song they attempted to play was stopped in the middle. Why? Because the sound system sucked shit!

I got bored and left. As I looked at the crowd for the last time, I thought, ‘This is not going to last. Most of these kids will get married and have kids financed by their careers. By the 1980’s, they will become Republicans.’ I wish I’d written that down. Who is going to believe I ever had those thoughts? No one.

I took a bus home, had dinner, and went into my room. I read “The Black Panther.”

I’ll say this, it was the most interesting Monday I’d ever had.

#60's music #60s #baby boomer generation #poets on tumblr #@anarchism #Poetry Slam #hippie #stephenjaymorris #jefferson airplane

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